in the history of bad decisions, you can argue that will smith passing up the role of neo in “the matrix” because he needed to finish filming “wild wild west” ranks in the top three, right up there with “praising your argentinian mistress at a supposedly penitent press conference” and “making a 129 year old don cornelius read a 10,000 word intro for the o’jays at the BET awards”.
despite this, smith claims that he “would have absolutely messed up” the movie, and says that he wasn’t mature enough as an actor to let the movie be. whether you consider this to be an honest self-assessment or pseudo self-reflective lily-heartedness, the fact remains that he wants you to believe that his non-decision was actually the best one, a concept i’m extremely well acquainted with.
you see, back before the champ became the champ, he was engaged to be married, waist-deep in the type of star-crossed, self-aware, urban screwball comedy screenplay that the type of people who hate tyler perry movies would love to cop bootleg at the arab oyster spot see onscreen
single black male blogger meets girl in library. single black male blogger dates girl. girl and single black male blogger share spoons at overpriced shadyside eatery, officially signifying that they’re “together”. not so single black male blogger excitably posts about new relationship on his cousin’s message board
and continually blogs about relationship trails and tribulations on his website over two year span. black male blogger eventually proposes to girl, and posts saccharin 3,500 word account of the events on the day of the proposal, angering liz burr in the process
yet, despite this seemingly clear urban fairy tale veneer, i broke off the wedding five months before the date. although i agonized for weeks before (and after) this decision, i later realized that my disinclination stemmed from the fact that i hadn’t been in love for at least a year, and deciding to get married was probably the best decision i never made (for both of us).
life is full moments like these, crucial choices your gut told you not to make, important instances where intellect or instinct convinced you to back away for the best.
people of vsb.com, what are the best decisions you never made?
–the champ
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{ 222 comments… read them below or add one }
ending my 14 year relationship would have to be mine… no regrets at ending it at all other than now i see I should have done it sooner
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Hindsight is 20/20!
The best decision that I ever made was turning down my ex’s proposal. He proposed to me this past September and when he did, I paused and just couldn’t say yes. I told him that I needed time to think about it and 3 months later, I told him that I couldn’t marry him and we broke up. I felt really guilty because we were together for a long time and I loved him, but my gut told me that I couldn’t be his wife. It set me free and even though I was sad for a while, I’m a lot happier now and know that it was the best decision for both of us.
@Leila,
“I paused and just couldn’t say yes”
in the history of mankind, i dont think a “lemme think about it” answer to a proposal has led to a happy marriage
Same here. Ended a 3 year relationship that spanned from senior year in college and a couple of years after. Afterward I was distraught and depressed. I felt like I’d met the perfect girl for me — and I’d just met her too early on in my life. Years later I discovered that the founding fathers of this country were right. There is such a thing as a “more perfect union…”
@J, “that the founding fathers of this country were right. There is such a thing as a “more perfect union…”
thank you for providing me laughter this evening after watching that tragedy
Recruiter may 2001: well the army can pay for college plus u will only be in for a four year commitment. Me: u know what I think I’ll pass
M
@Dorian G., good call! lol
@Dorian G.,
Now THAT is a good choice
@Dorian G.,
i should have given the same cold shoulder to all those credit card companies gaming me my freshman year. damn free t-shirts
@The Champ, Did these free shirts say simply “College” on em?
@Luvvie,
Those shirts were outstanding
@The Champ, you and me both.
though i did get hte banging “SEXSI” tshirt that i still rock to this day.
@The Champ, LMAO!!!! I got a sippy cup. I saw everybody walking around with sippy cups and I just had to have one! Changed my life for the next ten years LOL!
Ok, I know you’ll say I need more people, lol, but I was proposed to 7 times before I finally accepted my fiance’s proposal. (so, 8 total)
They were either fine, or had that good-got-damn, but NOT ONE of them would have made a suitable husband, so I gotta agree with Champale on turning down a marriage before chaos ensued.
Another good decision I never made was to stay in Cali. Yeah, I love the Yay, but the cost of living and the BS that goes along with constantly being around folks you “grew up with” is not the business.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
8 proposals? You and Liz Taylor compare notes one day or something?
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
wait, eights times by the same guy or 8 different guys?
@The Champ, yes, this is a very important distinction.
and also were they 7 serious proposals? like amidst relationships? or just dudes you knew who were like, we should get married.
@The Champ,
Yes, 8 different men, since age 17, and I was in relationships with all of them except 2. (a sprung booty call dude-Richard, and one that wanted a green card- Michael, lmao) I only count the green card dude cause we were really good friends and house mates. It would have lasted 2 years at minimum, but it would have been a business marriage with no love involved. (with the exception of required consummation.)
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
Yeah I am totally in awe too. How did you get all those get all those guys to propose to you? voodoo?
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
“Another good decision I never made was to stay in Cali. Yeah, I love the Yay, but the cost of living”
I wish I would have made the decision not to move to the DC area…I miss GA and most importantly…I miss having money in the bank. Why does it cost SO much to live here!!
best decision i never made: NOT watching the BET awards
instead i chose (at the urging of many friends’ txt msgs) to piss my life away and deplete many healthy brain cells to watch the tomcoonery-fest that assaulted my tv screen. i can NEVER get those hours/neurons back. NEVER. and for what?? to validate that BET is indeed the cornerstone of all that is wrong and horrid in this cruel world?? to solidify that cooning is best served on a dingy, hoodrat infested platter?? to confirm that you haven’t shucked and jived unless you’ve presented/performed on an ghetto-ad covered stage??
*slow eye roll* effmylife.com for not making better decisions of and concerning my lifespace.
@Gem-N-Eye,
ummm…..that was sooo wack.
but did you see joe jackson, though?
i mean no disrespect to my elders or to the late Michael Jackson (um….that feels horrible to even type), but what in the hell? he needs his ass beat.
Don Lemon asked him how he was doing and he started damn talking about his record label. “yeah, we gotta lotta stuff coming out, but i really can’t renounce that right now.” fool! ain’t nobody asked you about that noway!!!!!!!! why am i sadder than you about your son’s death? it makes me even sadder.
and damnitt if he wasn’t thrilled as hell when beyonce won her little bet award. uh uh. i just can’t.
@charli skipper,
I was DISGUSTED with Joe. DISGUSTED.
He needed his arse kicked, for real.
@charli skipper,
“but did you see joe jackson, though?”
Yup…and I’m sure ya’ll saw that CNN interview while he was on the BET Awards red carpet?
I don’t judge folks for how they mourn as there’s no one way to do so, but wtf, he was insincere and fake as hell. Disgusted, is what I am.
Here it is, ya’ll, just in case you didn’t see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt2GUNhS1bs
@Cheekie,
Yeah, I wanted to reserve judgment since everyone grieves differently. But I’m sure someone in the family could have benefitted from his presence at home, rather hawking new acts on BET/CNN
@Me fail english?,
The record company promotion really did it for me. I was floored. Opportunist as hell.
@Cheekie,
Aight Joe. We get it. Money.
You want the kids and the money. Bet.
Now go somewhere and SADDOWN!
@Gem-N-Eye,
I can’t agree more the best part of the night was Maxwell; he’s a classy fella; my Haitian brother Wyclef , and when it ended I can’t believe Ving “I need a job” Rhames, Jamie for selling his cd and concert EVERY second he could, Drake and Weezy should get arrested for bringing up those little girls on stage to the song, “f@&( every girl in the world”
MJ deserved better
@Toussaintthefree,
“the best part of the night was Maxwell”
Yes. yes it was. I think his voice impregnated me through the television screen.
@iloVEGrits,
as he had to take it upon his damn self to do an impromptu tribute to michael jackson because he realized that other foolishness was assness.
@charli skipper,
Ya know? Some folks tried and some just shouldn’t have at all. BET should have a separate coon awards show for some of them folks. They’d only get invited to the coon awards and regular folks go to the main awards.
@iloVEGrits, well, i guess i was carrying for him earlier than you, my water broke at that time.
@overit?,
iHate that iLove you.
you.are.FOOLISH.
@Toussaintthefree, if someone could explain the reason why drake is supposed to be talented to me, i would really appreciate it. i know we already did a post about it, but i didn’t know that’s who the dude was. i mean. really. his face looks like halitosis. and i could own a stage better than that my damn self.
“every girl in the world,” my damn ass.
and i love how they had the audacity, the testicular fortitude–the COURAGE–to dedicate that ish to the King of Pop! Hell naw!!
And on a more personal note, i love how i can cuss and my comments don’t get moderated. i am officially an e-baller.
@charli skipper,
“i am officially an e-baller.”
LMAO! I was wondering how you were getting past moderation. What is your secret? lol.
And booo on them dedicating that junk to MJ. It’s sad, tho, that pissy performance picked up – picked up, not improved, when Drake got off the stage.
@charli skipper,
The reason is:
He’s a handsome, and articulate version of Lil “Please Say the Baby” Wayne who he ghostwrites for and Baby is trying to reach a mainstream audience…
Is it me or does Tiny look like an albino gremlin?
@Toussaintthefree,
Ohmygoddness, yes. Her face is one of those that things that you don’t even talk about, lest you hex your own future kids. Still, after all those commercials I’m gonna have to catch at least one episode of her show.
@Lil’T,
“Her face is one of those that things that you don’t even talk about”
*DEAD*
But yes, Tiny’s got the hounds of hell scared to bark at her
@Lil’T,
Welcome back Lil’T!!!!
**Diva Dust Classic Edition ™**
@Toussaintthefree, i don’t think he’s all that handsome, and a stuttering baby would sound more articulate than weezy. just my humble opinion though…
@A Plus,
Haha. You read my mind girl! He’s not as ugly as I thought he was, but handsome? That aint it
@charli skipper,
his face looks like halitosis
iQuit thee forthwith for that…. LMAO
@Toussaintthefree,
“the best part of the night was Maxwell”
Oh, yes. Talk about a panty dropper. That mofo made sweet, sweet love to my soul.
*shivers*
@Gem-N-Eye,
and for what?? to validate that BET is indeed the cornerstone of all that is wrong and horrid in this cruel world?? to solidify that cooning is best served on a dingy, hoodrat infested platter?? to confirm that you haven’t shucked and jived unless you’ve presented/performed on an ghetto-ad covered stage??
CRIKEY!!!! that bad, huh? that description is KILLER, ha ha ha!!
@Gem-N-Eye, I think there was some good parts but that young money shyt? terrible.. terrible.. I am a wayne fan and that shyt was…terrible.. I mean for real fam? and then the lil girls on stage? UGHHH!! cut it the f!ck out….
I loooooooved Neyo’s the lady in my life, the Ojays tribute and the Ojays performance…
the 90′s throwback…
but ur ah R Kelly sr. Aaron hall reminded me of Eddie Caine in the “i been sangin every night….dannnng” scene of five heart beats….
@shay_d_lady, for a quick moment I thought Aaron Hall was Shabba Ranks…I was ready for him to bust out the Mr. Loverman!!! Dude sounded like he ate an ashtray!
@CoCoPuffs, you might be joking…but i really didnt recognize Aaron Hall for a second. i was like, who’s this new fella?
@CoCoPuffs,
“ate a ashtry” lmbao that could go for ralph tresvant, gill, and the dude from guy wuz teddy riley up there? Bobby B looked like he’s been eatin alot
@shay_d_lady,
lol. I thought Ralph Tresvant was soundin like post-coke Eddie King Jr. That shet was horrible.
@Me fail english?, the NE tribute was just bad. they sounded like…well, sh*t.
@Panama Jackson,
i liked the dance moves but they sounded hella bad i bet mike was like naw naw naw ya doin it all wrong couldnt they have found some kids from you-tube and let them do it.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Youtube kids would’ve actually been a great idea. All those BET employees and all that “overtime” they worked and the best they could get to cover J5 was washed-up ass New Edition. smh
@Gem-N-Eye, it was THAT bad, huh? My suggestion: go watch some CNN or something. You might just re-gain those brain cells you lost while watching the coonery that is BET. lol
@Selah,
not CNN. CNN is getting stupid too.
BBC. Always and only the BBC.
@blackberry molasses, yes to BBC!
Democracy Now!
@blackberry molasses,
BBC and the newshour with Jim Lehrer.
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
espn lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Sat.DOWN.
@Gem-N-Eye,
Gurl dont get me started on BET Awards. I’m writing a letter to BET and posting it on my blog 2moro cussing them the EFF out. *STILL PISSED*
*FLIPS table*
@Luvvie, can you ask them where the h*ll they found tevin campell?!?! and how come he still looks like he did in 1993?!?!
@A Plus,
They found Tevin Campbell in the same place they found Guy. 123 Cardboard Box Under the Bridge, Irrelevantville, USA
@Luvvie,
lolololololololol they went thru alleys searchin for ninjaz
@Luvvie,
“They found Tevin Campbell in the same place they found Guy. 123 Cardboard Box Under the Bridge, Irrelevantville, USA”
This is funny. Yet I think about how good those guys were when they came out. They may not be relevant but their music still is esp compared to the crapola available today
@Luvvie,
FYI
Talking about Tevin is Blasphemy. I was gonna marry him when I was in the 4th grade.
@Luvvie, why did that make me think of bscott and the ‘scarlett takes a tumble video?
*SANG scarlett*
@overit?,
Table said “Imma SHOW YOU! Get off me! I’m only made of wood!!”
@Gem-N-Eye,
I just can’t believe Keri Hilson came to the MJ tribute dressed as Elvis. Completely disrespectful! Almost as direspectful as Jamie’s iced out oven mitten he passed off as the glove and Trey Songz’ inability to read. But not nearly as disrespectful as A. Keys’ panhandling self. How many ppl you think she got to text that number before it was revealed that shet cost $5? LMAO!
And how about the awards stage looking like a jet magazine with all them “PCJ no-lye relaxer” ads. Yall serious too, huh?
I’d like to offer Don Oldnelius for the “FOOL SADDOWN” gift basket and special bonus coffin. You can’t tell me they wasnt tryna kill that old man putting that mic stand all low. His magical pinstripe suit shall live on.
Taraji Henson rocking Neffie Cole’s left over weave hat and hand-me down dress was almost as much of a disappointment as Ciara’s fifth grade talent show performance.
Mike was in heaven last night debuting his moonwalking wall slide.
@Me fail english?,
“Almost as direspectful as Jamie’s iced out oven mitten”
I know! That ish looked like the ove glove on that infomercial. Ain’t nobody hand that damn big.
@Cheekie,
“iced out mitten” lolololololol look like he robbed mickey mouse and thru some rhinestones on that mugg
@Me fail english?,
“I just can’t believe Keri Hilson came to the MJ tribute dressed as Elvis. Completely disrespectful! ”
I thought it was just me; BET was TRYING to to make a tribute to the greatest performer ever, and she comes out with that S***! It really hurt cuz it shows how much years on the road, across countries, touching the world, all the effort MJ did for himself, and for us as a people, and WE still halfed assed it for him! At that point I knew this was gonna be a sad night….
In the words of Rev Rollo Goodlove from The Boondocks, “Ninjas is gonna be Ninjas, might as well get some money while you bullsh****in”
@Me fail english?,
And how about the awards stage looking like a jet magazine with all them “PCJ no-lye relaxer” ads. Yall serious too, huh?
I’m still trying to figure out why they had an ad for Citi Trends? I mean, that store is the spawn of Rainbow. I feel like that ad was location specific…like somehow they knew i lived in the South, and chicks actually shop there here….
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
4 reall that was pure cooonery and if i see another fake a$$ shoe commercial from some basketballer for 34.99 ima flip. no lye relaxer? guess so. ima old skoo Dudleys boy myself
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
Citi Trends must be regional, cuz I never even heard of it. Damn, VSB prolly coulda got some ad space up there.
@Me fail english?,
I didn’t see it. but this post gave me all I needed to know. LMAO I’m over here tearing up at my desk, holding in my laughter. The moonwalking wall slide, though? Priceless.
@Gem-N-Eye, man, that show had so much wrong with it. its like…man, i can’t say BET let me down, i mean, its BET…that’s what they do, but how you gonna F*CK up a tribute night. i dont care how much time you had to fix the show…do it right or dont’ do it at all.
plus, everybody sucked.
NE? i love them. sounded like sh*t.
Guy? i love them. Aaron Hall needs to lay off the menthols.
Beyonce? heffa, this aint the grammys…why you singing THAT song?
Jay manages to get the ONE person who would have done a MJ tribute right, banned from the show? BET, you dropped the ball, f*ck Jay. you’re a station, and sad to say, Jay ain’t THAT relevant. its about MJ, not JZ. if jay walks, f*ck him. if bey walks with jay? f*ck her too. it’s about MJ, not them.
chris brown, or usher, or justin timberlake…ONE of them should have done a real MJ tribute to close out the show.
put it this way, i’m looking forward to the MTV awards where you KNOW they’ll make up for past transgressions and Chris Brown will tear it down.
@Panama Jackson,
“if jay walks, f*ck him. if bey walks with jay? f*ck her too. it’s about MJ, not them. ”
In complete agreement. This was the first year in a long time, I don’t think either one of em had any business even attending the damn show.
But BET could’ve at least gotten Omarion or smthg. That shet was a shame.
@Panama Jackson,
CB, Usher, or JT should’ve def been there. And I am so tired of J and Yawnce imposing their will on BET. Eff them both!!
I would’ve really loved to see Mariah perform her version of I’ll Be There. She can really sing that song….
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
hell yea i actually turned the channel turnin bey’s set with her fake angel get up? are you serious?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
lol. At first I thought she was a bride. Then I realized, she was just half-nekkid. smh
@Me fail english?,
i thought she was maraih carey doin “ill be there” but no it was bey forcin me to look at her camel toe she has body like a mugg but is hella boring
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
Yeah Mariah’s version of I’ll be there is the business. She really sounds like mini Michael, too.
And Bey? Why the hell is she the go-to chick for difficult ballads like Ave Maria. Chick can’t even tip-toe in her hooker heels to reach the octave required for that song. Up your standards for good singers beyond physical looks, people, dayum.
And she completely butchered “Angel”. That is my song and it was sooo off. WHY.
@Panama Jackson,
“Beyonce? heffa, this aint the grammys…why you singing THAT song?”
I agree. I could appreciate that Beyonce was trying to seem highly intellectual and cultured by singing Italian opera, BUT the majority of the BET awards show is not such a crowd. She was so out of place from “out-there” song choice to her feigned bewilderment when Jamie lead her off-stage for Jay-Z’s pretentious performance of “DOA” (ugh hate that song and the hype surrouding it) to her ugly 18th century hoop skirt costume. She should stopped smelling herself and sing “Single Ladies”/”Diva” like everyone was expecting and wanted her or better yet a MJ tribute.
@Blue Skyez, I hate autotune and the hype surrounding that crap-you know ALL styles of rap used to get dissed, South Bronx didnt like Run DMC, Mobb Deep dissed Redman and Keith Murray for that “space $hit” styles used to get tested all the time-you werent just giving the crown, but now crap is popular and if you knock it you hating-well autotune is still garbage-whether Jigga makes DOA or not-and dont you think the hype is ppl saying “yea get back to dope beats and catchy lyrics”?
It completely doesn’t make sense to me how everyone goes on and on about the awards being horrible and how the tribute was a disservice to MJ, but in the same breath imply that letting a woman beater become the star of the show would have been more sufficent. If that isn’t the most ignorant, backwoods ish I’ve ever heard than I don’t know what is….I mean I do think there should have been a dance tribute but not him. Not a man who bit a woman in honor of a man that was known to be so gentle.
And that “wait until MTV does theirs” mess that everyone keeps saying is crazy…they didn’t even play his entire videos on the night he passed…I guess it’s just another case of us looking to “them” to fix things for us…just makes me sad
Also, if you know BET leaves a nasty little aftertaste on your tongue than why watch it at all? I don’t like ESPN so I never flip to it and therefore there are no compliments. Period. Problem solved.
@TLC, oops meant complaints
I think we can all agree Chris Brown’s decision to not participate in the B-A-D awards is one of the best he’s made. Shame on it all. All, I say.
@Beez,
lol. I think the judge made that decision for him! Chris’ aint doin NUTTIN’ outside of Tappahanock
@Me fail english?,
Nope. JayZ and his slack-jaws threatened BET that if CB was there, he wouldnt grace em w/ his camel face. So BET dropped CBreezy.
@Luvvie,
i heard this rumor too, but i have trouble believing it. i just don’t see this happening
@The Champ, i can totally see that happening. i don’t doubt it at all. you don’t think jay would try to throw his weight around? i do. especially for something he felt that strongly about.
the problem is this. let’s assume it is true. at this point, sad to say, if jay doesnt perform, nobody really would care that much. we’r enot missing anything. if it is true, its a bad business decision on BET’s part to let one man, who’s star though bright, is fading, dictate what happens at your awards show.
at the same time, its hard to justify chosing a womanbeater if you HAVE to make the decision. my guess is Jay put it out there, and they ahd no choice. you don’t need MORE bad publicity.
@Panama Jackson,
The reason I’m having trouble believing the rumor is not because I don’t think Jay would do it, I just don’t think BET even bothered contacting CB…or anybody else for that matter. If Usher and Justin and Omarion and all the other imitators came thru and put it down and CB was noticeably absent, that’d beg the question. But BET didn’t get NOBODY but Jamie and Neyo. Seems more like D. Lee than Jay-Z.
@Panama Jackson,
i agree, it would’ve been hard to have a woman beater on the show, but hell, they had every other criminal represented in the place. and to be honest, J’s performance was not that good…Jamie tried to hype him up, but I was super disappointed that it was Jay-Z coming out instead of someone actually
relevantdoing a MJ tribute…@N.I.A,
Girl me too! I can’t believe he called Jay’s weaktastic performance “something special”. Da fcuk? What does this have to do with anything?!?!?! And I actually like D.O.A. which is saying alot. I think it’s just me Jay, Bey and Gloria Carter that still feel that way haha!
@Luvvie,
LOL! I still can’t understand why they wanted Jay there?? He’da been like “I aint coming out if CB is there?” and I’da been like “Okay. Someone get CB on the phone and book his flight.”
Jay is the anti-MJ in his soulless inability to give a moving performance.
@Me fail english?, I am at least glad that Jay-Z decided to get a haircut. I was getting a little concerned cuz he can’t be rapping bout “Death to Autotunez” when his head looks like a tennis ball.
@Anger Management,
I agree. That was a smooth as leather he had on too. But why leather in LA heat? It wasnt even an MJ style leather…
@Luvvie,
jay was behind that? strait haterism and his set sucked
@Beez,
Ya know even though I don’t think C-Breezy would’ve totally done MJ’s fluid moves justice, it further highlights the oddity that there wasn’t one dance tribute to him. No, Jamie Foxx’s old man skid across the floor don’t count.
@Cheekie, i actually thing that Chris Brown would have totally murdered a MJ performance. hell, he’s basically been doing MJ moves since he got started.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree…but where is Usher?
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
I actually think Usher would’ve done better. He’s smoother at least.
@Cheekie,
i think ginuwine woulda brought tha show down he is the best dancin r&b dude imo maybe he is to old
@BLUNTBLAZER,
When I saw Ginuwine, I thought he was specifically there to do a dance tribute. And when I saw Ciara, I thought she would’ve too. I’m still in shock that they didn’t include ONE. Not a one.
@Cheekie,
Damn, I forgot about Ginuwine. I havent seen him dance in a while, but if memory serves, he woulda done a great MJ show.
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
Usher is in Paris on tour with Luda, wish someone was there to perfrom at that mockery of an award show
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
in Paris
@Panama Jackson,
Chris Brown is too spastic for me. His MTV Billie Jean rendition he did was way too all over the place. I do think he can dance within his own right…his own style. MJ was just more smooth with his.
Anyway, he probably would’ve been the go-to guy for a dance tribute and I wouldn’t have been mad…just sorta “meh”. Then again, he probably would’ve surprised me, who knows.
@Cheekie,
I agree. The dancer in me can’t see Chris Brown killing an MJ routine. He lacks the precision. I didn’t miss him in particular as much as I missed ANY dance tribute A’TALL!
@Me fail english?,
Yes, Ma’am. How you gon’ have an MJ tribute without a dance routine? That ish ain’t even logical. Like mathematicians are perplexed at how this was even done. Will Hunting has to solve this mess, it’s so much confuddlement.
@Me fail english?,
makes you appreciate mike even more he was hella old still doin his moves clean as fuqq
@BLUNT,
YES!! That man could lift his thigh 90 degrees to his torso with the lower leg at a 45 degree angle to the knee and drop the foot right back into the exact shoulder-width position that he started in…within the blink of an eye. I’ve had dance instructors (not to mention me myself, lol) who’ve tried all their lives to recreate that level of precision and COULD NOT! At least, not duplicate it as often as MJ was able to. He was consistently sharp as a crease.
That show did nothing but sharpen the contrast between MJ and the performers of today. They have a long way to go before they get the spot
Kanyethe average fan thinks they deserve.Wow, dude that was super courageous. My passive-scared to offend-arse would probably have married, been miserable for two years, and then, without warning, boarded a plane for some remote corner of the world. Sigh.
I think mine would be not pursuing a relationship with my dad after he resurfaced in my early, early twenties. I was raised entirely by my sweet peach of a mother; no contact, with the paternal side of the family. I didn’t have that yearning for said relationship either. So when he reappeared wanting some kind of reconciliation, after a whole lot of soul searching, I realized I just couldn’t view him in that way. We weren’t any other kind of relation either, soooo……..Yeah. Plus, I don’t exactly form attachments that easily. Weird enough (or maybe not so weird since they were married at one point) my mom and he still keep in touch. They are on very amicable terms. I guess it comes down to the fact that they have history, and some real affection (or remnants of it) and all we have is a black hole of expectations and should haves-could haves.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
you may not realize it, but this may have empowered me to validate a very difficult decision I’ve had to make (not about my daddy, since he a mom-dukes been married and making me nuts for almost 3 decades).
thanks
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Wow, dude that was super courageous
i appreciate the compliment, but “courageous” is stretching it a bit. and by “stretching it a bit” i mean “like putting ciara’s spandex on kathy bates”
@ofloveandotherdemons, My passive-scared to offend-arse would probably have married, been miserable for two years, and then, without warning, boarded a plane for some remote corner of the world.
mark sanford, is that you?
i’m an indepenent contractor and have to hustle for work – got offered a potentially great project by an acquaintance – and i’d heard she could be rather volatile/unstable – but i really wanted the gig… so i went ahead and decided to enter negotiations…
the crazy was all too quickly revealed – from nowhere she wanted to be my instant BFF, confiding in me the scandalous details of her relationship with the boss (who she subsequently sued for sexual harassment) and confrontations with his ‘crazy’ wife , plus, she’d want to hang out EVERY DAY after work during the week of negotiations….
when i declined doing drinks the fourth time she asked, her mails around negotiations (on which her bosses and colleagues were copied) got really hostile and confrontational – over non-issues!
i sent a polite mail saying i appreciated the offer, but i didn’t think it was the right fit at this point in time….withdrew from negotiations
3 months later, the ish hit the fan…. sexual harassment/large financial settlement (to her) / hectic demotion (for the boss/lover) took place, i heaved a massive sigh of relief at my narrow escape. drams!
@superwoman, i’m an indepenent contractor and have to hustle for work – got offered a potentially great project by an acquaintance – and i’d heard she could be rather volatile/unstable – but i really wanted the gig…
This happens so much. I have worked for people who expect ridiculous things when u work for them. lawd…as if you have nothing better to do than entertain them.
@superwoman, I am so glad you got out of that situation- she was a nut job and may have taken u down right with her!
Quitting my “good” job that was killing me softly. I was there 4 years and it was like a marriage, familiar in its unhappiness lol. I could have retired from this job if I wanted to – that’s how much of a sure thing it pretty much was… but alas, I’d rather live than die slowly.
@pgh muse,
are you happier and sh*t now?
@The Champ, yeah. But so far I have to work a lot harder…methinks in time things will level out to a normal pace, but i’m still in the start-up phase.
**final football post for the year, promise!**
your team was narrowly, agonizingly beaten by brazil last night – amazing to watch – and they scored the first 2 goals in the first half… brazil only ‘revenged ‘ in the second half – i think they got a massive fright and brought their ‘A’ game – the end result was 3-2 victory for the samba boys. but the americans played like heroes!
congratulations to the obama boys – they proved that americans CAN actually play footie!! the world is in shock!
@superwoman, I <3 you… my girl from Jamaica and I were BBM’n at the time rooting for both teams Brazil on principle, and USA because wouldnt it have been great to beat them at their own game… then we remembered we are both natives of 3d world countries and were satisfied wikth Brazil’s win, though they were the favored.
@Intellectual Hedonist, yeah, i always root for the underdog, but hey – brazil is brazil, you know? they play such gorgeous football, you cannot help but support them – plus that team is so black, you feel like it’s your cousins on the field, y’know?
also, they just seem so sweet – the only team that i’ve seen interact warmly with the kids who walk them onto the field before the game… hugging on them, and they’re graceful in victory – generously dispensing hugs, hearty handshakes and plenty of dap to the defeated after the game, etc etc… a class act.
i will always have a soft spot for obama’s boys, though – they really represented. (plus, they’re so damn beautiful!!)
@superwoman, co-sign on all that, i always loved brasil.
@superwoman,
I can’t respect Americans who root for other nations (especially a nation not their “home” nation) against the Yanks.
Like seriously, cmon
@Dorian G., fair enough, sweetie, to each their own…. thing is, i’m south african…..
@superwoman,
I wasn’t speaking about u per se. But it bothers me, even tho I’m Nigerian, I’ll root for Team USA against every team except Nigeria.
Why exactly am I rooting against USA when they play Argentina or Italy? Thats ridiculous to me.
when graduating from high school. I really wanted to go to a school that shall not be named.. ….My ACT scores made me a shoe in for pretty much everywhere I wanted to go so I knew my package was coming. I never got a response from the school of my choice…and I hoped and prayed and held out and missed the deadline to accept at other schools and ended up at my small town, tennessee university who was the only school with a scholarship spot still available.
The week of freshman orientation, I recieved a very late acceptance package in the mail. To this day I dont know if it was lost in the mail, or if one of the neighbors had it and then stuck it in the box not realizing what it was. but I do believe my life would be totally different if I would have gone to that school…..so because my school led me on the path to my husband and child? its the best decision I never made….
@shay_d_lady, okay I didnt miss all the other deadlines.. I did decline some…which made the decision seem all the more stupid at the time….
@shay_d_lady, you know, i actually wanted to go to Howard under some similar circumstances. but those bastards NEVER sent me anything after i requested info. forget a scholarship, i never got a brochure.
then…i got a scholarship to morehouse and the rest is history. best decision i ever made. plus, i’m a morehouse man not just a howard grad.
lol. my life is better for it.
@Panama Jackson,
as I read I was thinkin’.
That’s some Howard ish.
Piss poor admins, man.
but I went.
Came
Saw
Conquered.
Twice. Double grad.
I also turned down a promotion in my old department and about 8 months later they laid off the person hired in my place…..due to “duplication of effort”……
@shay_d_lady, What on earth is “duplication of effort”?
@Nicki Sunshine,
two people doing the same dayum job.
gubment agencies are rife with this… your tax $$$ at work people. Thanks for the week at the Westin
@blackberry molasses, Wow girl. That is crazy how they will hire someone knowing they have someone on the job and then lay them off!!!
@blackberry molasses, Thanks for the week at the Westin
lol!
Mine is along the same lines: not sticking around to marry one of my exes. I know for a fact I’d be SOOOO disappointed and pissed off right now had I stuck around to “see what happens.” I know what happens: nothing! Not a damn thing. NEXT. Happier and happiest without the worry/drama all of that entailed.
@Liz,
this explains things
Like some of the others, I have turned down proposals. None of those dudes truly saw me for me and, because of that, I couldn’t fall in love with them. Best decisions, hands down. Though, in hindsight, I should not have let things drag on to the point that they were ready to pop the question. You live, you learn.
Another decision I’ve made: quitting a good job during a recession. I have difficulties with ‘sucking it up’ and being unhappy. I was available to avoid reality b/c I hopped a plane for a month long vacation to Portugal and Kenya the day after my last day. When I got back I was beyond scared but I’ve been blessed to have landed on my feet in a big way and, for now, I am my own boss making more money than I was before.
I also decided not to share with my dad how angry I was with him over my parent’s divorce. They split when I was 16 (the day before my first day of senior year!) and my father’s actions and behavior during the divorce proceedings were ugly. We were estranged for a bit and I just held my anger in and never expressed it. I’m glad I did because he committed suicide just three years later, two days before he turned 50. My adding to his pain wouldn’t have changed the past and would have further strained our relationship.
@iloVEGrits, I’m glad I did because he committed suicide just three years later, two days before he turned 50. My adding to his pain wouldn’t have changed the past and would have further strained our relationship.
Wow. I can relate to this so much. My dad died a few years ago and he was in hard core denial about a whole lot of things until the end. Me, my brother, and sister wanted to confront him about some of those things toward the end of his life, but didn’t. We knew he was sick, but didn’t know he would die so soon. We talked at length and decided not to cause him anymore pain. He was very reflective toward the end of his life anyway. So I guess this was the best decision I didn’t make.
@iloVEGrits, man, that was heavy…i’m so glad you got to make peace with that.
@iloVEGrits,
I’m so glad I read that last part. I’m only 24 and already I’ve had periods of estrangement from BOTH of my parents. Aside from the stuff they did wrong during my childhood, my anger is compounded by the fact that since I’ve never complained or expressed how upset I was as a kid etc. they seem completely oblivious to the needless damage they did. As a bonus they have this tendency to rewrite history as if they can convince me things were one way when they were actually another. Even worse, they depend on me now in ways that I was never able to lean on them.
I resent it so much sometimes that I want to lash out and tell them everything I feel and think about what’s happened in our family, but so far I’ve been biting my tongue (they’re the ONLY people that have the luxury of me holding myself back). Hearing from you and pgh makes me feel I’m making the right decision in taking it on the chin.
@Me fail english?,
“I resent it so much sometimes that I want to lash out and tell them everything I feel and think about what’s happened in our family”
Sometimes therapy is a better forum for that. Because you can work through the issues in a peaceful space. Telling folks bout themselves can lead to frustration cuz they aren’t try to hear you…they are trying to tell you their side of the story.
@iloVEGrits,
True. Im too broke for therapy though. So I just distract myself til I get over it.
@iloVEGrits,
Wow, that’s some heavy stuff regarding the parents. I’m glad you’re happy with what you chose not to do.
And the recession thing…many props! It takes a lot to leave a job in these times and you are right in determining your happiness is ultimately more important than your financial stability. We all know the saying regarding money and happiness. And see where this decision brought you? A nice time away from it all, some reflection, and an opportunity where you won’t have to deal with the drama and whatnot from working under someone else.
@iloVEGrits,
Yeah, that was deep!
The best decision I wish I never made…buying a damn house two years ago when I was 23…oh foolish girl LOL
And ending my marriage to my best friend before we started hating each other because of his co-dependence…sticking around was not an option…now he is happily married to a lovely women and with a child.
@Siobhan means Woman of Wisdom,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
@The Champ,
Thanks and Yes. Want to buy a house?
deciding to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ to marriage proposals seems to be a big theme on this one…. just remembered that when i was still living in the US, and trying to figure out if i wanted to battle it out for a green card, or go home, my then boyfriend offered to marry me – i declined, deciding i’d rather do it the legitimate way, and be beholden to nobody.
i appreciated his gesture, but didn’t think it was offered altruistically – he had controlling tendencies, and i had a strong feeling he’d try and get me pregnant quick-quick, and dependent on him… he just exuded that vibe. almost immediately, he started getting very difficult, and predictably, we broke up.
in the end, i returned to south africa, and have had a great life, so no regrets!
@superwoman,
Co-signing (I seem to be doing a whole lot of this lately huh?) on the return to the “motherland”. I loved, loved my time in the States. But after a while, it was time to say goodbye to what was home and go back to crappy roads, crazy taxi drivers, shop clerks with an attitude, out of control crime and a 911 (well, 999 ) system that only works when it does (i.e. not that often).
No regrets.
And despite all the above, life is beautiful.
@Wanjiru,
I’m about to join y’all very soon!
In the 10th grade I wanted to go to a party so bad, mom axed the idea, I could have called my dad and visited and went out anyway bc he is a generally bad/slack parent. Yet, I didn’t do that in a sudden fit of conscience …. 3 kids from my high school got shot at the party, and 1 died. And if I had went to that party you would not get to enjoy me in all my f*ckery goodness….
@Naturally Alise,
Prayers of thanks for moms!
@Naturally Alise,
damn. this is some final destination type of sh*t
1. Getting out of my first marriage. Staying in my second.
2. Trashing the rose colored glasses and working on my marriage like it is a job (This is a PSA: You think life is hard? Marriage is harder!!!! ). Despite what they say, love conquers eff all. A man who loves you is not above showing you his a.r.s.e from time to time (same goes for me to him).
@Wanjiru,
“Despite what they say, love conquers eff all”
please expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
You know, Capt. Power of Love (despite slapping on some spandex and a crimson cloak), has proven inadequate to the task of transmuting 2 regular people into a beautiful union of one beautiful heart that can see unicorns and leprechauns and Mami-Water blah blah blah.
Seriously though, love is touted as the magic bullet that will get you through this long distance race called marriage. IMO, it’s awesome to have- but I’d say that the ability to count to 167,890,345 is actually what gets the work done- love just has a better agent. Because back in the real world, loving someone means that you would do ANYTHING for them…except give up Saturday golf game to go for lame ass wedding that your wife is really set on; except go on and on (and on and on) about some minor thing husband did- even though you know that isht is irksome to him etc. I’m botching this I know, but put simply, what they don’t tell you is that getting into marriage, it’s not the biggies like infidelity, loss of a job that strains the marriage- that’s the cross. It’s the small stuff -the splinters on the cross (budgets, common pursuits, letting your spouse get away with stuff even though you had a crappy time at work etc.) that make marriage really HARD. And ain’t no magic potion # whatever for that.
Does this even make sense?
@Wanjiru,
Perfect sense.
@Wanjiru,
I totally got it.
And although I have never been married, I’ve always said that is the type of stuff one should look out for… because the little things that have the potential to become irritatingly annoying seem cute in the beginning… Those are the ones you need to watch out for.
Ended an engagement. Realized that I was more in love with the idea of marriage than the guy who proposed.
Best decision I’m going to forgo making…. forcing myself to forge a relationship with my father’s side of the family.
I’m insanely close to my mom’s side… because they helped raise me and genuinely have my best interests at heart. When my parents had to leave me with my mom’s sisters to travel the world for work, I was loved, cared for and disciplined like I was one of their own.
My father’s side of the family…outside of the fact that they didn’t want my father to marry my mother, their loyalty and ‘love’ needs the standing army of China for more people.
I’m almost 30, and I don’t know not one of them. I’ve never gotten a letter, card or even a picture. The ones I met that I like are his ‘distant’ cousins who are in the US of their own accord and are genuine in their desire for family connection.
But now that I’m grown (sort of), successful and possible resource/place to send their children to go to school in America, the rest of the family decides to take an interest. My father’s brother who is here disrespected my mother in her own house. Diss my mom and you diss me.
Hmmm… my father will be hurt and angry, but I see what he doesn’t.
I think I’ll pass.
@blackberry molasses,
i can never understand why families behave in this way – demonize a woman and her offspring because of some perceived shortcoming –
there are relatives partners that i don’t really care for, but i respect them as my relative’s spouse, and as a parent to a child who’s my blood. THAT should be the focus, not your petty little beef over self-constructed nonsense.
@superwoman,
man, if you knew the story– its a SOAP OPERA.
I hate to say it, but typical African BOOSHEET is at work here. iCan’t with my people sometimes.
@blackberry molasses, the african rellies, (relatives) man…. the rellies will always do you in with this nonsense! i have a similar dynamic, though nowhere as dramatic, with my dad’s fam. they’re just wrong, and if they could get away with it, would disrespect my mother….
unfortunately for them, neither her or my dad are having that, so they have to suck in their bile and deal with it…
@blackberry molasses,
typical African BOOSHEET
That stuff is so crazy, it makes you want to go live in the outback somewhere…
Thank god, I already have the “crazy” reputation in my fam… They know I will not hold off on telling them my mind. Sound and clear.
Hang in there, missy.
@Sula,
I think its time I show my crazy. They all think I’m just a little off beat but very meek and will take whatever… that’s just me being polite.
sheeeit, they know JD’s daughter, but they ain’t met BBMo yet. And BBMo is a crazy azz broad!
@blackberry molasses,
I never regret not effing with ppl that didn’t eff with me when I was little. The only thing hard about it is that the people I do love and ride for seem to have selective amnesia and think these latecomers are genuine. I know they want me to re-try the relationships and it sucks that giving those losers the middle finger hurts those I love.
But I do it anyway *shrugs*
@blackberry molasses,
I co-sign this. Family drama is one of the worst kind of drama due to their relation. It could probably get most unhealthy and dangerous for your lifestyle. I’m glad you’ve decided you’re not obligated to force a relationship…which, to me, is unnecessary and impossible. It either is a relationship or it isn’t. You can’t force it.
And even thought these folks may be related to you, I always say they’re human first. They are prone to be a-holes to you and such just as much as the next person. Probably even more so due their proximity.
That was deep, Champ….
This guy I was dating long distance never wanted to make me his official girl. He claimed he loved me. He wanted me to have a baby, going against everything I wanted (I know becoming a baby mam ‘does happen but I didn’t want to PLAN to be one).
He was persistent with wanting to make me his baby’s mama. I was persistent with declining.
One day, after visiting him, I reconsidered, thinking, “hey, a baby’s mama is not so bad… I do love him.”
I had plans to tell him that we should try but kept stalling with myself, thinking of an appropriate time.
He broke fool one day, making me truly appreciate my art of procrastiantion- for I never got to tell him!
@Nicki Sunshine,
That was deep, Champ…
if i had a dollar…
@The Champ,
You have a lot of hypothetical dollars, Champie. You’re hypothetically rich!
@The Champ, “if i had a dollar…”
U Freak! lol
Best Decisions:
1. going to college because i heard that’s where the best girls are
2. joining that mentoring program that eventually led to #1 and pledging alpha simply because the lady pitching the mentoring program was BAD
3. going to church regularly because my girlfriend at the time wanted me to and i wanted to keep smashing her (oxymoronic, i know)
i’m starting to notice a theme here….are you?
4. leaving philly because…well, it’s philly…all they do is shoot cops, grow beards, and say “jawn”
@Carver The Great!,
#1 yea i saw hampton was 70% female and signed up hella quick didnt even visit jus hopped ona plane
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LOL. So many of my guy friends said that during my undergrad there. No need to see brochures, they fell in love with the female/male ratio. SMH!
@Carver The Great!,
LMBAO!!! I’m Philly to the core and this isht right here…..
hillarious.
…and eerily accurate. lol
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
TPN!!! Where ya been, homie?! Good to see you around!
**big giddy kiddie smile**
@blackberry molasses,
Hey sis! I’ve posted here and there but mostly been watching from sidelines. Ups to you and PghMuse for always showing a ninja love though! I appreciate it!
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
I go club in Philly…and then get out of dodge and eat in Jersey
@Carver The Great!,
#4. . . f^ck u!:-P . . .You are soo right. . . but dammit I lub my city:-/ and its hood ways.
You all make me not ever want to get married, or even propose.
Too late, though. I tried it also. And broke it off, also. I’m a much better man for it.
I guess the best decision I never made was having a few of my less than savory female associates have their violent way with my ex-fiancee. It seemed like the best idea at the time, but being that I was hyper-emotional due to getting fooked over for the umpteenth time, it surely was not. I wouldn’t have liked jail. I’m sexy enough on the outside of the walls… I already KNOW I’d be the hot potato in prison…
I’ve actually got a LOT of stories like this… about both female and males I considered enemies. I’m from Detroit. Please do not test my cousins’ gangsta. But the best choices I never made other than those are all about dismissing female suitors. Being that I have a known attraction to the craziest booches on the block, I’m impressed with my natural survival instinct that leads me away from certain death. I only wish it’d kick in before the fourth month of kicking it. Sometimes those months fly by… Others? They are an up at dawn, pride swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about.
I’m getting better, tho.
Best decisions I never made.
1) Flipping the cash I saved. I was 21 and tired of pushing hoopties. So what do I do? I pay cash for a brand new sports car.
2) Keeping contact with the jump-offs and other women when I was with my ex. When women leave a relationship they hit the ground running. Men have to start from scratch.
3) Cutting people off when you first see signs of BS. I am a patient person. Sometimes I’m patient to a fault. I’ve been patient or given too many chances to people that don’t deserve it.
Lord, the best decision would also involve a relationship, the whole thing was one big gut feeling of NO. I went into it against my gut on purpose, I figured, going with my gut all these years has not yielded the type of reward I expected, try going against it.
FAIL.
It took 3 yrs, and it was long distance on top of that, but I had the courage to end it, after he proposed. No getting sucked back in cause I thought dude would stop going to the gym, get fat, and die…the first 2 which happened already (looking for wood).
He would be the #1 best decision I never made only cause it would have been a mess trying to get out of it once we were engaged or married, I have a lot more little decisions I will share after I have this smoothie.
Carry on!
LOL@ 129 Don Cornelius. Yep…that ish was painful and it went on FORVER!!!!!
Best decisions:
Getting out of a dysfunctional 3 year on again, off again relationship when I was 24.
Realizing that the girl that I thought was a bytch from jump street (back in 5th grade) was madd cool and she’s one of my 2 best friends til this day.
Deciding to leave a dead end job where I worked for 7 years to go back to school and work on finishing my degree.
*going back to sleep on my day off…lol
@miss t-lee,
I just realized I didn’t even answer the question correctly…dah well. lol
Good night.
“Best Decision Never Made” makes it sound like a good choice you didn’t make, but the anecdote suggests otherwise. Anywho, mine are kinda personal so forgive me for keeping it vague and general. Yall are family and all but who the hell knows who’s lurking out here! *paranoia*
- Leaving ppl alone. I don’t have it in me to hold a grudge longer than 24 hours, and for some reason, ppl don’t listen when I try to tell them they are upsetting me. So when I know smthg isn’t right, my only recourse is to create enough physical distance so that it becomes inconvenient for people to find me. I used to regret having no one who’s been around me my whole life but this has saved me from LOTS of toxic situations.
-Standing up for myself even when it’s not convenient. I’m a rebel by nature and got kicked outta my house more times than I care to remember not to mention getting into shet with bosses, teachers, school bullies, etc. (lol). But no matter how down on my luck I was or how much I depended on anybody for food, shelter, money I have NEVER been dependent. It’s a running joke among friends and family that if I was dying of a snake bite and someone who offended me held the antidote, I’d still give em my arse to kiss. Some folks will try to tell you that’s the wrong thing to do in the name of self-preservation, but I say: “fcuk em”. I wouldn’t respect myself if I allowed a lesser person to roll over me.
Oh, I just thought of a specific!
Leaving that God awful entertainment industry. I know my worth and have a MAJOR problem with being paid pennies to bust my asz beyond repair with little hope of promotion.
It’s mild exploitation the way that shet is run. I don’t know about film and stage productions, but television and music is complete BOOSHEET. I totally took it personal and I’m so glad I left. I felt like a real human when I got a “regular” job with normal hours and dress codes and pay rates. So happy I didn’t allow myself to get comfortable or buy into the cult of aszrape that is that industry. *spits on ground*
@Me fail english?,
*spits on ground*
wow.
you are DONE, aren’t you…
@superwoman,
LOL…for real…spitting on ground is serious business.
@superwoman,
It was a total mindfcuk. They pay you nothing to kill yourself with no hope of advancing your title. And when you complain about the lack of professionalism they argue that you don’t appreciate them giving you a shot…as if they were doing me a favor!
And the people are effing talentless! But if you own a television, internet-capable computer or radio I’m sure you realized that. Nothing makes you hate your work more than realizing the people in charge have nothing to teach you.
Taking my parents advice and not going away to school. Well actually they forced me not to go. In high school I wanted to become a dj, my parents suppported me to. I also wanted to go to school down south. My parents said I can either go away to school but they weren’t buying me any dj equipment or I could stay home go to Community College and becomeva dj. I opted to stay home & thank God! If I had went away, I probably wold have went wild and fathered a basketball team. I effed up in communty college, imagine what would have happened at one of those “party schools”. Plus I would have had a big @ss loan to pay back
@Eff yo couch,
Maybe I should have went away to school, they could have taught me how to spell simple words or properly use the key pad on my phone
@Eff yo couch,
Although I did end up going to a university I went to community college straight out of high school. I had scholarships and got accepted to a school out of state. I f’ed up in community college too. My education was paid for but my heart wasn’t in it. I had one foot in the streets and one foot in school. Luckily I didn’t mess over as much money as i would have if I went to school in Alabama like I wanted too.
The best decision I never made: Marrying the guy I dated in high school. He was seen as THE BEST THING TO HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO ME by everybody I knew. He came from an affluent family, was heading off to college, star football player and on and on and on. At some point his personality changed. He dropped out of school, couldnt hold a job & just got weird. I bounced thinking it was another chic & I just didnt like him anymore at this point. Turns out he was on drugs!! Heavy drugs that would lead to him breaking into his own parents house and steal while they were out of town!!
“despite this, smith claims that he “would have absolutely messed up” the movie, and says that he wasn’t mature enough as an actor to let the movie be.”
Hmm, I’m not sure he would’ve messed it up, but even despite how much I make fun of Keanu’s one-note portrayals, I couldn’t imagine anyone but him uttering the “I know kung fu” line. So, good for Will. I love that “it was all for a reason” type of mentality. He more than made up for it. Because even Wild Wild West, in all of its suckety (what a wonderful made-up word I just typed there), it did pretty well because it was Will Smith.
Best decisions I never made:
- Not signing up for beaucoup credit cards in college. I probably didn’t enjoy excessive handbags and clothes but what the hey, folks were wearing pajamas to class anyway. It wasn’t really the fashion show that was high school. And my credit is off the chain. Thanks, Mama.
- Not going to the more expensive college. I remember how badly I wanted to go to a certain college that had higher tuition but seemed like a great school. I’m still have college debt, but hell, I would’ve racked up about 75% of the debt I have now in about one year.
Dang! VSB: Where we all come to learn life lessons
And Champ, I remember when you were head over heels in lubb and ish. Ur blogs used to give me cavities as u put up pics of yall in family reunions and whatnot, with you still not smiling, of course. *reminiscing*.
Best decisions I never made:
*Missed the booty line on the day the Good Lawd was passing them out. If I had been blessed with a ridiculous junk, I’d be the plummest of fools.
But really though.
*Dropping that friend of mine who was a Bitter Broad from my life. I have a hard time letting go of people but I had to X her out. A friend that never wished you well is not one to keep. 2 years later, I don’t miss her. However, I still have the urge to kick her *$$ on site. The chick reads my blogs everyday and comments about it to other people.
BEECH!
@Luvvie,
“*Missed the booty line on the day the Good Lawd was passing them out. If I had been blessed with a ridiculous junk, I’d be the plummest of fools.”
LOL, yes. The Gluteus Maximus is most def a blessing and a curse, simultaneously. The universe’s law of booty attraction has brought forth both pleasant and not so pleasant surprises. *sigh*
@Cheekie and Luvvie, And it’s no surprise that when a man meets a woman that got rump, she WILL be booed up 95% of the time. Nigroes be handcuffing and knockin’ up those freaks early and often.
@ Cheekie
“*Missed the booty line on the day the Good Lawd was passing them out. If I had been blessed with a ridiculous junk, I’d be the plummest of fools.”
LOL! Me too. I have ridiculous girls. That alone is almost too much for me to maintain.
“Dropping that friend of mine who was a Bitter Broad from my life. I have a hard time letting go of people but I had to X her out.”
I’m not big on showing friends the door either, but I’ll clean house if I have to. I have 3 friends that I had to let go of and I don’t miss them one bit. I know they’re probably still upset with me for ending the friendships. Oh well.
I have to add leaving NYC at just the right time. I didn’t want to go and I cried on my last day there. It seemed like nothing was working out for me so I assumed that was God’s way of telling me to move on. I was right; that’s exactly what he was telling me. If I’d done things my way I would’ve been working for one of the following companies: Bear Sterns, Lehman Brothers, or AIG. I’m glad I did what I was told!
@Voiceofreason,
Oops. I meant @ Luvvie.
1st Matrix = CLASSIC no one but Keanu could have been Neo/Thomas Anderson “you look whiter that usual” LOL!!!!
Best decision I never made….mmmmm….
sleeping with this youngin last year is one, youngin as in 26, I was 34 …mmmmmmm…
another is waiting like I did before I moved…..you know alot of this tho is being guided by a higher power young, being directed by the LORD, the LORDs will being done!!!
there are more but we’d be here all day, the above is the bigger message here tho
I didn’t watch the awards last night. I’m going to watch tonight though… ya’ll’s comments about the lack of a proper tribute to the King of Pop really really really make me sad. I’m ’bout to write BET a SCATHING piece of hate mail… but I guess i will watch first b4 I formulate an opinion lol.
@pgh muse,
I missed it too, but I don’t think I’m going to watch. I still can’t belive there was a Baby Boy re-enactment.
@Voiceofreason,
“I hate you Jody!!!!!!”
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
@pgh muse,
I don’t have cable. I’ll watch lowlights on youtube.
But even just getting texts about it caused me to go into roast overdrive. Par example, Beyonce’s outfit/performance spurred this:
(copied from my blog)
But my homegirl was perplexed by Yawnce’s entire BEING and we had this text conversation. Sleep deprivation and angst make me go into roast overdrive.
(we call eachother Peabo and Pookie. I’m Pookie)
Peabo: Pook, help me out here cuz you’re the only one who can. Why did Beyonce sing Ave Maria in a teddy? Seems a might sacreligious to me… confuzzled…
Pookie: BeYAWNce is a horible pathetic excuse for a whole lotta things. iCan’t with her 364 days of the year. She gets a pass on her birthday. Triflin lace fron wearing sequined teddy rockin over-singing sacreligious lookin’ gal.
Oh and Jigga needs a daym haircut. Upgrade my black AZZ.
Peabo: nuff said.
Pookie: Oh, I ain’t done. I also blame Mama Tina’s tacky bedazzled ass. And A Pimp Named DADDY KNOWLES. Bishop Don “Magic” Juan is either extremely proud of or hatin’ REAL hard on Papa Knowles. Pimp game PROPER he is. And Mama Tina is his bottom b*tch.
Peabo: I stopped watching when Yawnce applied her Lee Press-On Tutu. I’ll watch bloopers and try again tomorrow.
Pookie: Lee Press On Tutu?!?!? THIS is why I don’t have cable.
Peabo: No cable?!?! It’ll be your maid of honor gift.
Pookie: iQuit your wedding. You must hate my eyes and my sensibilities. Find a new maid of honor. I hereby turn in my sash, dress and shoes.
THAT is why I can’t watch. My roastbox will rupture, along with my gigglebox.
And was anybody REALLY suprised/shocked/mad that BET fugged this ALL THE WAY UP? I mean, Debra L-EVIL and her knockabout slave labor ain’t exactly KNOWN for having their ‘act right’ goin’ on in general.
Word to The Boondocks.
WORST CHOICE WATCHIN THE BET AWARDS
Sorry but I gotta go in on it.
-Mugg was supposed to start 7 central 6 west coast. Mugg aint start till 9 westcoast time
-Soulja Boy- SMDH he reminds me of “lil Daryl” the special cuzzin that sings and dances. Have you heard the lyrics to “Swag on” are those even lyrics? is this what the rap game has came 2. and No props for mJ.
-Kerri- ??????? wtf was that about dressin like travolta i thought it was a mj tribute. nice body tho
-Bey-????????????wtf angel outfit what was the song about why she tryna dress like mariah. When she got her award WTF was she wearin? She is the real life version of “lil magic” (in livin color) her moms be designin some weird a$$ shiiiii
ps. wtf was LEBRON wearin? a waiter outfit.
-Jayz- kinda annoys me why was he there again i know he is o great one in the rap game but his set was strait boring.
-Drake- ????????? still neva heard a song he made and i still dont kno why chicks digg him but he jus looks like ya average lite brite pretty boy wita a jay leno jr. chin
-Lack of Mj- Jamie saved the show without him it would have been boring. Neyo is coo with me except i think he was tryin to hard to show he hada girlfriend. I saw ginuwine there I thought he would bust a move but he didnt. I thought crish Brown/usher/omarion/tommy davidson/somebody was gonna show up and do some dam mj moves but nobody did.
I mean I can go on you-tube and find 100 kids that can do mikes moves BET CEO failed so bad.
I feel like BET played me they knew we like MJ and they hyped it on so good they had to come with it and they failed. Joe JAx looked like he wanted to take his belt off and whoop eryones A$$ untill they did the moves right. He dam near proposed to BEY when she got her award i was like dam ninja calm down its jus BEY we see her everywhere but he was givin her sex faces.
RIP MJ
- who was tha lil black kid from the “Smooth Criminal” Moonwalker video that did the mj moves. they coulda dug in a alley and found him lil dude could dance. hell even my lil bruh could do MJ moves.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Soulja Boy- SMDH he reminds me of “lil Daryl”
Lol! “Leave me aloooone!”
@Voiceofreason,
why they hattttin on meeeeeeeeeeeee, i just make moneyyyyyyyyy lololol somthin like that. “they thought i was done so i made anotha one” lmao wow
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I didn’t need to watch. I had twitter and facebook.
My retinas didn’t quit me, yet I was still privvy to all the tomfoolery.
I’ll give you a heads up next time.
@blackberry molasses,
my fav rapper “the jacka” says ya name “blackberry molasses” in his zodiac song where does that come from. He also sampled a track from the “Doors”
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“wtf was LEBRON wearin? a waiter outfit.”
LOL. Yup, and I think he works at the same airport restaurant as Tyra Banks. WTF was she wearing?
Joe Jackson couldnt have been more inappropriate if he tried. I’ll just leave that alone.
lol@ Keri auditioning for Danny Zucco in Grease. Someone give this bish a clue. You are NOT a big enough star to hype the audience a capella like that. Sat down na’ !
And yes BET played the shet outta us. Talmbout we gon pay homage to the kang and it was nuthing but a live action Baby Boy dress rehearsal.
Fuqheads!
@Me fail english?,
actually i like tyra’s outfit her hair was busted as hell but i guess it was hot surprised they didnt give away goodie bags with no-lye products as hard as they was pushin it.
yea i dont kno keri but she was doin way to much nice body tho but still stick to the script smh still waitin for someone to do some real mj moves.
I’m sure I have tons, but this is the only one I can think of right now…
When I was a freshman in college, I met who I thought was the love of my life. I mean, I felt things for this dude that I had never felt for anyone, ever. He said he felt the same way. We shared the same brain, it seemed. I just knew that once we both graduated, we would get married. Period.
I knew he had an ex, I knew her name, and he assured me that they had been through for a very long time. I of course, believed him because he was so in love with me…
Through the course of our relationship, he had given me the password to his accounts ( They were my first name and his last name, I just knew we were in love), and not once did I ever use them, because I trusted him completely. Christmas came, and I bought him a lovey-dovey card. Then I realized that my address book was all packed up with the rest of my belongings and I wouldnt be able to find it quickly and still send the card out in time. I thought to myself, if I go to his blackplanet site (this was in 2001, don’t judge me), I can get his address from his account page.
He had gotten a message from his ex. A very long heartfelt message about how happy she was that they were back together, and how excited she was about the baby.
When I confronted him about it, he didn’t even lie, which…I can appreciate. I was heartbroken for over a year. But still, NOT reading that note was the best decision I never made.
They now have two kids and a crib in Jersey.
Best decision I didn’t make: Moving away from the old neighborhood. Area was peace when I lived there but went to crap with the quickness soon after. Now it’s a dump and I like the culture better where I’m at now (even if nothing’s within walking distance.
Best decision I never made:
NOT deciding to skip out on Bordeaux, France and stay in New York with my( I would sign find out) insane, emotionally disturbed then love…What would I have looked like staying in NY with someone who turned out to be crazy?Raggedy!
going to medical school
staying w/ my ex fiance
now that’s certainly news to me. I don’t think Will is suffering in the least bit though. Actually Reeves was probably a better fit.