Problem: Light-Skinned Points.
Wait. I see some people wondering what I mean by light-skinned points. Let us define.
Light-skinned point(s). noun. 1) the additional attention that fairer skinned light skinned women receive over their darker-skinneded sisters whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all. 2) the assumed increase in attractiveness laid before melanin deficient black women…whether or not their face actually warrants any attention at all.
I’ve always thought this was a funny phenomenon. I mean, even the most busted light women get a lot of attention. Whether you’re on the subway or just walking down the street, the light skinned women with a hairline that starts in Australia will get attention. Even George Benson asked for the light.
(Actually he asked for the night, but it rhymed with light. Run with it. Call me now!)
It has to be frustrating for attractive dark skinned women. And for the record, you are not attractive if the only person who has called you attractive is your mother and your reflection. You can put 9 dark-skinned fine women in a room with one light skinned Gremlin and I’d be willing to bet that most men would say that the light skinned woman was the most attractive woman in the room. And that is emblematic of the problem in the black community — we place lightskinned people on a pedestal. Well, mostly women since everybody knows that lightskinned men went out of style back in the early 90’s.
I suppose you could just make the connection that light skinned women are closer to white women, thus the black mans innate desire for white women is the culprit here. And I guess that has merit. Which would then explain the hate that a lot of light skinned women receive from other black women since black men love them some light chicks and dark chicks know that causing them to hate on their light sisters who can at times be assholes about the fact that they get a lot of love from black men. Not always, as I know some light chicks who hate the light attention as much as dark chicks do. Which is kind of interesting if you think about it. If you are a light chick who gets a lot of sweats from black men and you know that light skinned women do indeed get points, and you hate the points you get for being light skinnt so much so that you wish you didn’t get the points…how do you reconcile that? Does it stop light chicks from being proud of who they are??
It’s like intra-race reverse affirmative action.
Slavery really did a number on us didn’t it? Some of the self-hate that a lot of us are caught up in has translated into our love for the light. A lot of us hate ourselves. We hate our skin cuz its black, we hate black pepper, we hate midnight, and black ball point pens. Hell, there are some black folks reading this right now who hate what I’m saying cuz the text is showing up black. Psychologically we get so caught up in light versus dark in our community (and you better believe its still an issue) that we offer solace to light-skinned women who would in NO way ever get points if life made sense.
[***DISCLAIMER #1: I'm aware that all men don't go straight for light-skinned women. But facts and videos don't lie to us. ***]
Which brings up another point. In an ideal world, dark skinned women could be video ho*s urban models. That’s actually the saddest and funniest part of the entire debate. We always hear about all the light skinned women in videos — which just so happen to be the same videos that so many women rail against. The same videos that exploit women to the fullest are the very ones that many darker women get upset about not being able to participate in. Strange, strange world we live in.
And really, that’s what its all about, equal opportunity in my videos.
It was written.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
Related posts:
{ 521 comments… read them below or add one }
Intraracial prejudice has always perplexed me. I didn’t really see it play out until college since I was in predominantly white schools/neighborhoods growing up.
What really kills me is that it is something we can get past, yet we not only have a hard time doing so, we actually add to the chasm that seems to have been placed there by our painful history. It’s just frustrating, it really is. We still have men/women seeking partners on hair texture/skin tone.
We still have men/women seeking partners on hair texture/skin tone.
yeah trying to have babies with “good” hair……
Thats some ridiculous motive for mating. And the thought of “good hair” is pandora’s box, and I wanna leave that ish CLOSED for now.
“And the thought of “good hair” is pandora’s box, and I wanna leave that ish CLOSED for now.”
open dat b*tch up and sh*t
“Thats some ridiculous motive for mating. And the thought of “good hair” is pandora’s box, and I wanna leave that ish CLOSED for now.”
Playing Devil’s Advocate…If the light/brights get more action, wouldn’t parents want their kids to get action?? LOL I think more people consider skin tone and hair texture but just don’t say it in ‘polite’ company. Trust, I’ve had a people think we were cool enough that they could tell me shyt like, “That’s my girl but she can’t be in the wedding because she’s too dark. I don’t want my photos to have an ink spot in them.” Our friendship changed after that.
“Trust, I’ve had a people think we were cool enough that they could tell me shyt like, ‘That’s my girl but she can’t be in the wedding because she’s too dark. I don’t want my photos to have an ink spot in them.’”
Oh my. Wow.
I have this thing where people just get super comfy with me. I don’t know what it is.
“I have this thing where people just get super comfy with me. I don’t know what it is.”
you’re the hostess and sh*t. people get comfortable with hostesses
Stop offering random people red Kool-Aid. That’s what happens when you do that.
V dot
““Trust, I’ve had a people think we were cool enough that they could tell me shyt like, ‘That’s my girl but she can’t be in the wedding because she’s too dark.”
yeah i see the intra race color issue here but i also see this being a gender thing. i don’t think dudes would focus on this as much as woman would.
i question if the woman making the statement is really the other girls “friend” which is another issue i have with a lot of women and their fake list of “keeping up appearances” friends.
i don’t care how dark (or fugly) my “real” friends are, i want them there for important life events if possible. now we may talk about his arse in front of him as we look back on the pictures (thick skin, women a lot more sensitive) and “jank”
…for instance if he has ragged teeth, we might say boy u sure put a ugly asz bite in an apple. i can almost smell ur breath on this picture. nigga u got insurance get that shit fixed. i would not secretly keep him out of the wedding party on looks if he is truly close enough to me, to otherwise be in the wedding party.
talk black to me…
wowzers…someone said that outloud?
i hope their view of themselves changed after that too… that’s so shallow…
No. Her opinion is still the same. And she’s keeping her child out of the sun so she doesn’t darken up. *sigh*
Thats the most ignant thing Ive heard in a while.
Dom: That is absolutely not the most ignorant thing you’ve heard. You listen to rap right?? Yeah so I know you have heard things AS ignorant or even more ignorant:-)
no no, that ish takes the cake. Unfortunately I expect rappers to be on some dumb ish.
I hope that what your “friend” said wasn’t true. That is absolutely the worst thing to hear from a so called friend. sheesh.
All I got to say is that while ‘hair’ is not a determining factor in who I date…it’s like hmm my hair is this way (curly grade), I’m not sure how to manage hair that’s much different from mine. I’ll learn, but it sho’ would be easier to deal with something that I’m familiar with.
My mom has straight hair and I have curly hair. It was hell for her to figure out what to do with my hair (i.e. do not brush it!!!) but she learned. lol.
I had the same experience – my Mom just styled my hair (thick) the way she did hers (fine and wavy). Imagine a five year old with a rollerset – not. cool. I looked like a lion.
LMAO @ vision of u as a cub
“yeah trying to have babies with “good” hair……”
Yeah…this ish kills me.
““yeah trying to have babies with “good” hair……”
If I had a dime for every time I heard that I would be rich. Shoot that’s why they make relaxers.
They make relaxers so people can have “good” hair?
Precious, you know folks think “good hair” is straight hair so yes if someone is that concerned about having what they consider “good hair” put a relaxer on it.
“Intraracial prejudice has always perplexed me. I didn’t really see it play out until college since I was in predominantly white schools/neighborhoods growing up.”
I can relate. I grew up in a predominately white area growing up and the black people stuck together because there were so few of us. We were proud to be black and there wasn’t really any preferential treatment for being light-skinned. To white people, they tend to see black people the same regardless of skin tone. My best friend was tall & light-skinned while I’m average height & brown-skinned and white people used to always confuse us. I didn’t see the preferential treatment really play out until I moved south after college.
In the south it is a very different issue. Brothas – and white men – love light skinned black women.I can’t walk through the Houston airport without picking up some numbers. Same when I’m home in New Orleans. In Chicago, I don’t see it play out that way nearly as much.
“In the south it is a very different issue. Brothas – and white men – love light skinned black women.I can’t walk through the Houston airport without picking up some numbers. Same when I’m home in New Orleans. In Chicago, I don’t see it play out that way nearly as much.”
i’ve heard this numerous times, that the shade/tone issue is more prevalent in the south and out west than it is in the northeast.
just another reason why us mid-atlantic folk are better people than the rest of you
LMAO at better.
Shade/tone issue definitely not prevalent in Chicago. I usually get a lot of play from dudes once they learn I’m from the South, though. They are looking for a hot meal cuz ‘up north’ girls don’t cook.
I have yet to taste anything you cooked. you DEFINITELY need more people (as in Shekinah’s Glory Ministry or Joshua’s Troop)
Fool: I got mo people…YOU. You HAVE eaten somethin I cooked. You maxed it. You and the Puerto Rican diva MAXED some mac n cheese (baked, not boxed) I brought to the office.
Greedy azz asked me to bring more.
Hmph… I don’t recall this. You made it up. Get yo troop ready.
just another reason why us mid-atlantic folk are better people than the rest of you
*throat punch*
our (southern and western) women look better though.
this has already been established as fact.
“our (southern and western) women look better though.
this has already been established as fact.”
true…but your kids are usually much dumber. this even things out
“your kids are usually much dumber”
Don’t get your back dirtied, Champ.
“Don’t get your back dirtied, Champ.”
the only way a southerner could dirty my back is if i sat on their couch.
“the only way a southerner could dirty my back is if i sat on their couch.”
In the Chi, we’d like to say VEG was just TREATED.
That is all.
Boooooooooooooooooooooooo!
“To white people, they tend to see black people the same regardless of skin tone”
That’s the sad part about it. It doesn’t matter–if you have one drop of Black blood in you, you’re Black. Society says so and the laws on the books says so too.
I dont think its sad, I like that there is a definition for being black. That way when mofos like Tiger Woods come up with ish like Cabaclasian I can point to the rule book and say “hold up playa…”
The onlt sad part is that alot of mixed folk dont see it that way.
the one drop rule is sad, but lately i had over 15 friends get married since college majority of them dark skinned women, 12 of the husbands white men and 3 hispanic. so not all white people are going for light skin women. plus whenever i visit friends in france, london, seoul or tokyo they want to stay there because dark skin women are in. especially france..i walked through the airport and looking at magazine covers would have though i was in africa, belize or panama. TRAVEL…it will do you good.
I think the problem is not the criteria that people use to choose their mates but that it bothers you (and others). Why do you care? As Jay-Z said, what you eat don’t make me shit.
I’m trying to have babies with the nappiest hair possible. Imma comb my sons hair with a fork
***dead*** A FORK…. Ok Ariel
Oh yea I’m a lurker who has come out of hiding
Me being a fairly dark-skinned woman. Who has been told numerous times that I am attractive. HOWEVER Ever since I was a child I was brainwashed into thinking that I should never marry/mate with a man darker or as dark as myself. I was always told the lighter the better and make sure he has nice hair too. Better yet make him another race. Seriously. I have heard this. Seriously. Opened up old wounds man.
Pretty is pretty and ugly is ugly. I know my chocolate skin brings attention from the entire range of skin tones and if someone is not attracted to me because of me skin color I’m likely to not be attracted to them because their stupid.
isn’t it actually about equally free admission to the night promoted by “DJ Lish and PYT Ent”?
yeah, that pic/flier was…i took it down b/c i didn’t want to explain my logic in putting that pic up though it made sense in my head.
but yeah, you’re right…though, that whole situation as stupid as hell to me. the promoter just threw the wrong party first…anyway…happy trails.
totally understood. i was in DC and the dj yelled out that they were having a “light skinned versus dark skinned dance competition” and I told my girls it was time to go.
the whole situation is stupid but it definitely has roots in our history with slavery, internalized self-hate, and institutionalized racism… i’ll name the place, u bring the crown (or the stoli peach), and we’ll chat
keep up the good work!
“i was in DC and the dj yelled out that they were having a “light skinned versus dark skinned dance competition” and I told my girls it was time to go.”
This really happened?????
isn’t there a club song that I always used to hear in DC too that probably inspired the competition… “all the dark skinned ladies put your hands up, all the light skinned ladies put your hands up.
That song was so dam#n stupid…
“totally understood. i was in DC and the dj yelled out that they were having a “light skinned versus dark skinned dance competition”
See, that’s that bullish right thurr.
“i was in DC and the dj yelled out that they were having a “light skinned versus dark skinned dance competition” and I told my girls it was time to go.”
you sure you weren’t on the set of “school daze”?
“i was in DC and the dj yelled out that they were having a “light skinned versus dark skinned dance competition” and I told my girls it was time to go.”
Ah the ol’ divide and conquer. Don’t pay no attention to them boo, I loves me a light/dark skin dancing girl any day. You killed it out there with the cabbage patch, they was just hating. So you wanna go back to my place and show me some moves? Remember I loves me a light bright/dark belle!
sorry for that absence, good people. work was kickin my tail…
yes, it really happened – i think the club was actually in baltimore on the water – wet or something like that. i was in dc on business, though.
yeah, that song is dumb as #3!!
yeah – that’s that bullish – and folks still be jumpin up in that ish like it’s the hottest dance contest ever…
nah, it wasn’t school daze – tisha campbell wasn’t there looking like a flamin hot dee-zash-tray
at DG: i shole would asked for my money back had i paid to get in that bia…
Ha!! All darker women need to do is have the camera person flood their faces with light. They will go from being Lauren Hill’s real complexion to Beyonce’s real complexion in a second. Also, don’t forget that long hair makes men think swamp donkey’s a pretty too. So does being thin. If a woman is lighter than a paper bag, with long hair, and wears single digit dressed, she’s three points closer to being called FINE than are her darker, shorter hair having, thicker counterpart.
yeah, it is interesting how the long hair admiration crosses racial lines, too.
the standards for beauty in American mainstream society
Thin, Light, long STRAIGHT hair
Well if thats the standards of beauty, then I’m an old sock. The only thing I qualify for is the “thin”. I’m dark w/ kinky hair. WOMP.
LMAO @ old sock… there, there **pats fro**
“If a woman is lighter than a paper bag, with long hair, and wears single digit dressed, she’s three points closer to being called FINE than are her darker, shorter hair having, thicker counterpart.”
When has being small ever been a plus in the black community? Most brothas like a lil meat…specially on the azz and thighs.
I wear a size 2 but have been called ‘skinny thick’ by quite a few brothas. Thankfully, my size 4 a$$, track thighs and boobs have kept me from suffering a true skinny girls fate…loneliness!
yeah, being black and skinny is for the birds, i think our people def. appreciate meat on the bones from grandma constantly persuading us to eat, to men who want something to hold on to ….i’m eating full fat yogurt trying to get some “thickness” as we speak….
I just wolfed down cheese eggs and oatmeal for the same reason.
Don’t forget the Welch’s grape.
“…to men who want something to hold on to…”
I’ve said here before that I am too thin for the south. Where do y’all live?? I’m not tryna be difficult but ’round these parts, if a chick wants THAT GUY her ass had better be a TIGHT size 8 or below and better not even think about gaining a pound.
“When has being small ever been a plus in the black community? Most brothas like a lil meat…specially on the azz and thighs.”
This is truth.
Really?? In the south, thin isn’t hot. But up here where ‘trophy’ is all the rage, most men (of the THAT GUY variety) are not tryna roll into the inaugural ball with someone who is bigger than a size 8. If she’s short, no bigger than a 6. And you know the rationale they freely share with me (prolly cus they think since I’m thin I won’t judge them)–big ladies don’t look healthy and will get fatter after kids. Even for dating they say being with a bigger girl makes them look unsuccessful. I REALLY need to just stop talking to people.
It’s definitely a class thing. I notice I get hit on my a better class of men (i.e. ones with jobs) than my thicker friends.
And regional: southern boys love a stallion.
southern boys love a stallion.
(nutty professor style) I’m a pony! I’m a pony! don’t you feel like a pony!!?!
lol…couldn’t help it and sh1t!
“It’s definitely a class thing. I notice I get hit on my a better class of men (i.e. ones with jobs) than my thicker friends.”
this isn’t a race specific quality though. its been proven that generally speaking, the higher someones socioeconomic background is, the thinner the people theyre attracted to become.
also, this is true for both men AND women
This is very true. Im TINY despite my love of food, and I seem to get the “upwardly mobile” dudes. The ones who are or will be making bank. I aint complaning.
So lemme be clear… the better a man is doing financially, the more likely his is to choose a thinner woman? Do y’all think this is because the thinner woman is seen as more of a trophy than the bigger chick?? Or is it that these men are just more likely to be around women who watch what they eat, exercise, etc? Or are men with more money likely to consider the health benefits of being thinner? And don’t even come at me with that notion that bigger people can be healthier than thinner people. Sure it happens but it’s a exception to the rule–especially in the Black community.
IMO, it’s the trophy syndrome. The upwardly mobile guy probably has several dinner parties to go to. He wants other men to look at him and desire what he has (the expensive car, nice house, great cufflinks, foreign cigar collection ect.) It seems that the woman becomes the accessory and the more ‘Hollywood’ desirable she is, the better…because he knows that she will be generally accepted as beautiful. Unless he’s meeting said woman in a gym/health food store, there is no telling how she maintains her figure.
to be honest, i dont remember the exact rationale behind the theory.
I think that as a man acquire wealth, he wants to hold on to said wealth. So he seeks out a smaller woman, assuming she will eat less food, therefore costing him less money.
Wealther people tend to be on the thinner side because they have better access to healthcare, proper nutrition, and knowledge of how critical exercise is to overall health. It would make sense that wealther men would be more inclined to be with a thinner woman. Also our society values being thin. Rarely do I see wealther men with big women.
“Southern boys love a stallion.”
- Finally…a t-shirt I can wear!!!
But even on a thin girl men want some meat. No one wants the toothpick.
Ehhh – From your postings, I imagine us to be about the same size, no?
I never lack for attention and I’m in ATL…but then again, I get some lite-brite points. So maybe the points that I lose in not being a size 8+, I make up in being light. (I jest, I jest).
@Hostess,
I agree. Only broke black men like “thick” chicks. Keep eating that fatty yogurt and get triple bypass later.
“I agree. Only broke black men like “thick” chicks.”
Being a black male from the south (Texas), i feel its my duty to correct this common misconception. Those broke black men dont like “thick” chicks they like “thuck” chicks, theres a big difference. Thick dosent mean you fat or over weight. It means that you have a certain shape coke bottle shape. i.e. a rotund behind, large rack (in some cases), and full/athletic thighs and a small waist with a flat stomach.
p.s. “thuck” means thick as a truck, overweight, etc
yeah in the hood thickness is they weakness!!! but MAINSTREAM society uses the thin and you in motto…
i completely agree.. i’ve always been self conscious bc i felt i lacked in the booty area… i try and make myself feel better by saying that by boobies and hips make up for it. standards of beauty across races is completely different. My family has always called me skinny: 5’7, a size 4 , 130 pounds. When I started my job- one in the fashion industry where it is predominately white, i was looked at as one of the bigger girls in the office. i’ve actually been called “a big girl”…
the long hair thing though actually has biological reasoning to it. long, healthy hair suggests youth and fertility, two characteristics that men are typically attracted to.
I do kinda understand that BUT, what’s up with chicks who have horrible UNHEALTHY looking skin but get a pass because they are light?
“I do kinda understand that BUT, what’s up with chicks who have horrible UNHEALTHY looking skin but get a pass because they are light?”
i blame it on jim jones. i blame everything on jim jones
Champ we done already talked about this Jim Jones thing….watch your tone (c) Jamie Foxx
“i blame it on jim jones. i blame everything on jim jones”
fyi… ive stolen this quote so many times it’s insane. Thank you Champ
I once tutored a girl in junior high who had horrible skin. She was light and had sandy hair and thought she was fyne. She wanted to model. Took all I had not to tell her “you ain’t gone be on nobody’s magazine with skin like that.’
totally unrelated to the post but i remember a long time ago i walked into my homeboy’s house and i saw all these pseudo-glamour shots of his girl sitting around. this ninja had the nerve to tell me that his swamp-donkey-in-training girlfriend had the audacity to think she was both cute AND could be a model.
i blame false aspirations on T-boz from TLC. Ever since her f*cktastic performance in Belly, folks forgot that failure was an option.
“i blame false aspirations on T-boz from TLC. Ever since her f*cktastic performance in Belly, folks forgot that failure was an option.”
i’d shift the blame to hype “i’m such a freakin genius” williams, but, to be honest, theres more than enough blame to go around for everyone
“i’d shift the blame to hype “i’m such a freakin genius” williams”
I find this statement to be blaspemous. Just kidding…kinda.
Dammit! I gotta start reading all the comments before I resond.
Um being skinnier does make you more attractive than being fat. Disregard my facts if I wasn’t supposed to rain on the parade.
If you say so…
This is true. Obesity is RARELY looked at as being attractive.
I think the long hair preference crosses cultures because it signifies health and fertility. I read that in a book once, and I thought it was interesting.
Where’s KIT when you need her?
hey how about the caramel colored chicks in the center of the spectrum. Men always have a light or dark preference. We are left totally out the mix. Nobody ever says… Mayne them light skinned chicks straight but I loves me an old medium brown joint and we dont have any nifty slogans either… Imean the browner the berry dosent have the same ring…..
yo- i had a dude call me “caramel” and i was so… turned off but only because i was confused… i didn’t know what it meant to be a caramel chick! HAHA!
‘sigh… what is we gone do, y’all?
LOL…
Didn’t Prince have a song like Cinnamon Girl?
I guess we get love from him…
Ooh D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar, oh da*n that won’t about a woman….. well I tried…
what about blackstar’s “brown-skinned lady”?
awww man, that’s the jam
“Even my condiotioning has been conditioned…” the intro/skit to that song always cracks me up! Thnat is my song!
what about blackstar’s “brown-skinned lady”?
……all the brothas on the avenue I know when they see her say Yea!!!!… I love that song.
I’m in the south and it’s true that light is right but chocolate is everyone’s guilty pleasure. I am a brown skinned lady and I love it. Growing up in the south made me think that it wasn’t beautiful for a long time. Now that I’m older I don’t really think about my skin color as much as I do about appearence. My skin is even and blimish free, that’s good for me. I have kinky hair and I think it’s good hair; it’s health, strong and sexy. I had braids this summer and realized that I like sporting my fro because it’s a different type of attention; I attract all races. With the fake hair flowing down my back brothers do come running; not what I want. With my fro most men respectfully approach, I get more compliments even from women.
yeah I LOVE “Brown Skinned Lady”… I be trying to act like it’s my theme song and sh1t but my babymama says I am NOT brown and should give it up! lol…so now Talib’s “Hot Thang” is my theme song…”I like to play connect the dots with your facial freckles!” oh fa’sho!
***he and Nas ripped it last night BTW…***
“I’m a victim brotha, the white man has programmed my condition, even my condition has conditioning” – Love that skit too much
Cummon, let’s show some love to our dark skinned ladies.
“he and Nas ripped it last night BTW” – man i am so jealous, i’ve been listening to Nas’s Untitled and the kid is too fresh and constantly on point through out {Yall ma n*ggas fav. track}
I forgot all about that joint!!!!! Okay 1 song? I mean can I get more than one ode to the caramel coated vixens? I might have to lay down a funky fresh 16 for yall a$$es……maybe not
actually, Goodie Mob also has a song entitled “Beautiful Skin” which is about women appreciating their dark skin…i actually like that song more than i do Blackstar’s “brown skin lady”
Yes!!! I love that song.
yeah but again thats for all women I want a joint just for us..all the songs you name are for brown skin but they are really talking about the darker versions…like I said everyonce in while they while shout out the caramel, cinnamon, tawny, amber,burnt sienna chicks!
lol…i feel u shay. i think your “category” of skin tone changes depending on where you go. where i’m from (in the midwest) i’m brown-skinned….down south people have refered to me as “that tall light skinned girl”. and although it doesn’t matter it throws me off a bit. I was working with some students in a high school in north carolina and a girl asked me if i was mixed and another student replied, “nah, she’s just light skinned”….huh??? i think region plays a big role….
of course in the dominican republic there is a label for every skin tone under the sun, so people call me “morena”….but the skin color issues in DR warrant a whole ‘nother post…..
In New Orleans there is a difference between red, yella and high yella.
LMAO! This is so true. Ugh! Walking down the street in N.O. hearing “Say, red! Pssst, psst…” was not the sh*t cause it was usually followed up by even more foolishness. Trying to use these words to describe somebody outside of home was often met with blank stares.
Why do I feel like I’m back in high school?
You’re right…
YAYEE YAYEE!! I am always referred to as “red”…I love it when the creative brothers come up with better ways to say it though…I was told I have a honey baked color…I’ve been sun-kissed…sun-sweet…and one bruh spit some MOs Def “red and sweet like a cinnamon straw!”…I loves me an articulate @ss man! I do! I do! I do!
red, yella and high yella….thats true down here too….I actually had a chick at work get fi mad when someone called her brown skin. Now I am squarely in the middle of the spectrum she was a shade or 2 darker than me. When I say that chick had tears in her eyes while she loudly proclaimed that she was red….I had to walk away. I wanted to karate chop that chick squarely in her throat but as a member of management I dont think that would have been appropriate. I gave her the Ho sit down award for the day…red? ninja please…..
My cousin’s teen aged daughter has serious issues accepting the fact she is brown. We are trying to teach her she is beautiful, no matter what (the girl is cold). But it has to be hard for her to do that being one of few brown girls in a fam full of lighter women.
lol…women’s skin tone dynamics are the stuff of legend. somebody has to have done a major study on this somewhere…
how does a woman’s skin tone directly effect her self-esteem and therefore her success in life?
the sad part is…black is beautiful…it shouldn’t even matter…
i blame jim jones.
working on that research as we speak! (on kids and their parents in the U.S.)..i already collected data in the caribbean. the impact of skin tone on self-esteem is real…
You are right about regions. To me, in my mind and mirror, I’m brown. The father south I go, the lighter they think I am. And the women I know from there who are the same exact complexion as me all say they are light. I’m thinking, “B*tch your ass is ‘chocolate chip cookie’ brown. Go somewhere and sit down.”
“And the women I know from there who are the same exact complexion as me all say they are light. I’m thinking, “B*tch your ass is ‘chocolate chip cookie’ brown. Go somewhere and sit down.”
LMAO. I once got hell for calling someone, while describing them, brown. Everyone else considered them light. lol. Definitely depends on where you’re from.
Aight real talk all my life I thaught I was brown. Growing up on th south side of lake michigan. When I matriculated to FAMU I got tole I was a yelluh one. I was like really!? No no not me! But people was serious. Made me feel like that guy @ the end of The Jerk.
Sort of like when slavery ended in Brazil. Negrus got tole to mix (‘get like me said whitey’) it up cuz they wasn’t gonna get treated nicely w/ that darker flesh. I think that in the south where slavery was way to real people didn’t exactly adopt that I better change my flesh as much as they changed the way they saw things.
“but the skin color issues in DR warrant a whole ‘nother post…..”
ain’t that the truth, Ruth!
you guys should do a post on that, seriously, cuz i got some things to say… word.
Girl, I’m in this group too…honey/caramel colored depending on how much I’ve been in the sun.
“hey how about the caramel colored chicks in the center of the spectrum. ”
Shaydlady we need to start a brown skinned movement…lol
Ya’ll forget about India Arie’s “Brown Skin”?
Y’all are the petty laborers in Marx’s ideology. Y’all gon’ overthrow the light brites and have your own dictatorship. A dictatorship of the medium browns.
ODB’s “dogsh*t” was actually about brown skinned women as well.
it was a metaphor
. I am from the south. I had several great aunts that use to show favoritism to us based on our skin tone. One aunt use to actually call my darker cousins pickaninnys! I have a cousin that I have always idolized. She is beautiful, dark smooth, unblemished skin, long, thick hair, hourglass shape. I hate when people say “mayne she fine, especially for a dark skinned chick”. WTF? the whole intra racial thing proves that we as black people are still feeling a lot of the residual effects of slavery and jim crow. I mean we still were uncovering ‘passers” in the 80′s (See anatole broyard). That’s why I get so mad when I hear people (black, white and other) say we should just get over it and put slavery in the past.
My maw maw once told my cousin that living in Houston made her “too black”. The girl had a tan. But she’s in her 80s and I forgive old people many things. They don’t know any better.
girl my parents still say that.. and my grandma always makes comments like..girl stay out of that pool you getting black…or when she sees my daughter or neice and nephew..yall been out in the sun to long you don turnt black
Lord, why? But seriously, most black people here in Houston stay inside as much as possible during the summer…lest we hear exactly the same thing your grandmother said from others!
Yeah…it’s the same down here JBoogie.
Girl, I ain’t coming out right now, wait until dark thirty and then we’ll go have dinner…lol
I noticed that when I was there…(with the exception of when I was pregnant) I was always trying to walk somewhere or do something outside…adn ni99eros were like NO MA’AM!! lol…I love the way the sun feels on my skin, but I wear tube tops alot so I tan even…lol…
girl…shydd…we DON’T do outside in the summer!
” I am from the south. I had several great aunts that use to show favoritism to us based on our skin tone. One aunt use to actually call my darker cousins pickaninnys! I have a cousin that I have always idolized. She is beautiful, dark smooth, unblemished skin, long, thick hair, hourglass shape. I hate when people say “mayne she fine, especially for a dark skinned chick”
Happened in my family too. And I think that is the worst, you should really be able to escape that shyt in a family, luckily my mama wasn’t having ANY of it–and she would shut it down right when the the little “affectionate” names would start. Our cute little “blackberry” and our cute “little special red bone” who could do no wrong and got more christmas presents cause she looked like grandma. Its a cautionary tale because the cute little red bone with the light eyes is doing life in prison over some man who HAD to have her.
So don’t cry for my azz argentina.
“Its a cautionary tale because the cute little red bone with the light eyes is doing life in prison over some man who HAD to have her. ”
so this is basically the polar opposite of michael dyson’s story then huh?
This happened in my family too, on my dads side. My light skinned cousins got preferential treatment. Gifts, trips, money, to run all over the damn house. My mom raised my brother and I to ignore that. Eventually, the discipline got us degrees. My light skinned cousins got jobs for min. wage.
@ Dom, every wrong ALWAYS rights itself.
I hate when people say “mayne she fine, especially for a dark skinned chick”.
My BF gets this ish all the time. I get this as well, but insert “big” for dark, and there ya go…lol
Oh yeah Anatole Broyard only got found out when he died. His own kids didn’t know he was black.
Growing up I used to hate when people said to me…”You are such a beautiful dark skinned girl”
come on like being dark automatically mean that I was suppose to be ugly or something.
so disappointed with ignorant people.
“You are such a beautiful dark skinned girl”
you know what, i think theres a difference between this statement and saying…
“youre beautiful FOR a dark skinned girl”.
in the first statement, dark skinned is just an adjective. it could have very easily been “tall” or “slutty” or “autistic”, and the sentence would have the same connotation
“autistic”
***Champ gets his parts of speech educator on as he racks up hell points***
hey you know what I meant Champ… : )~
“Slavery really did a number on us didn’t it?”
Inspector Obvious SAVES THE DAY!!!
Slavery, colonialism, apartheid (South African, American, etc…)…all did a number on us.
History f*cked Black people. In the *ss. With no lube. No doubt about it.
History. Greed. The oppressor.
“Inspector Obvious SAVES THE DAY!!!”
don’t make me deport you.
I hate you. :-p
Beyonce is a GREAT study in the color complex in America. Honestly, she is cute but the way people talk about her, you’d think her face was made up of fairy dust and unicorn horn, with a dash of angel wing. I don’t think she is extraordinarily beautiful but I do think people give her more points b/c she is fairer.
Don’t get me wrong. Benoncay is cool and pretty but damn. When did she become the END ALL BE ALL for men?? Is it for her personality? NO, cuz she has the personality of a baby toe when she’s off stage.
And to continue on my hater mode, her body ain’t mo’ special than the girl you grew up with next door who is thick and tight.
*hate hate hate hate*
Green glob coming all out ya mouth…
AAWWW look at ya takin up for ya Creole kinfolk. :-p
I ain’t takin up for her.
You know I think she’s ‘common’ looking. Cute, but unless she is glammed up, she is no more stunning than many women I see on the streets.
Also, horse hair does wonders for the way you look. Sad, but true.
Yeah there are a couple of cold horses in Detroit as we speak b/c of the Lil Creole Pimp’s Aunt (whoever gets the show this reference is from will get a… umm… an e-hug from me).
C+D?
You’re talking about Daniel….lmao!!!
You KNOW it, T!
Naw girl, it is unicorn hair, (horn optional), you know only the best for Bey… LOL
Naw girl, it is unicorn hair!!
***DEAD***
I so totally agree, its so annoying. When did she become the SI unit of beauty?
“When did she become the END ALL BE ALL for men??”
according to who though? most men i know could name like 25 video chicks as well as women like kenya, halle, and queen stacey who they think are better looking than the thundergoat
Thundergoat????
Agreed: Halle and Stacey Dash are cold. I can’t find any reason to hate on them. Lol. I had to interview Halle for a magazine years ago: she wore no makeup and still looked good. That says alot.
B…I think that without the makeup and hair she is ‘hood cute.
Halle is beautiful. Didn’t some scientific study say that she was ranked the most most beautiful person in the world based on facial dimensions or something. I read that somewhere last year.
The word “Thundergoat” has changed my life. Thanks Champ.
“you’d think her face was made up of fairy dust and unicorn horn, with a dash of angel wing.”
She’s more typical round the way cute, nothing special, at all.
I can’t stand to hear the girl talk. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.
“I can’t stand to hear the girl talk.”
Destiny’s Child was hosting some awards show and B started off with “I want to thank y’all for lettin’ us host y’alls show.” I almost died.
Hey, hey…I say ya’ll on a daily basis. It’s the Texan in us…lmao We can’t help it.
Nah, seriously she could work on her diction and pronounciation though.
She pluralized y’all…an improper slang contraction that is in itself plural. I fainted. lol.
pluralized y’all…an improper slang contraction that is in itself plural
VEG…my inner English teacher has such an e-crush on you right now…LOL…
She wasn’t pluralizing it. That was a possessive s she tacked on to y’all. And since y’all ain’t a word… what is the non-word that shows that something belongs to “y’all”?
But that extra s was ear-jarring. She should simply have repeated y’all.
Hi Hater.
don’t be talking about her speech patterns. she’s southern and charming.
plus…she wrote Bootylicious. she can do no wrong.
You must forget I’m Southern and charming too.
You’re welcome.
I’m southern. And I do not pluralize y’all. lol.
Also: all southern girls are charming. They force us to be that way. In public at least.
-Hater.
“Also: all southern girls are charming.”
Why must you turn these 4 walls into a house of LIES??
that bothers me to no end. mofos be thinking that ALL negresses in Houston sound like her…i think NOT! somebody needs to eliza doolittle her and that speaking voice quickly…she STILL needs work!
“mofos be thinking that ALL negresses in Houston sound like her…i think NOT! somebody needs to eliza doolittle her and that speaking voice quickly…she STILL needs work!”
LMAO!!!!! I freakin’ love it.
Shouts to My Fair Lady…:)
“The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain.”
“I don’t think she (Beyonce) is extraordinarily beautiful but I do think people give her more points b/c she is fairer.”
For the most part there are only two types of people who have your view point. Women and the men who are trying to f*ck them. I’ve seen Beyonce in person, I’ve seen Rihanna in person, I’ve seen Gabbie in person and I’ve seen Ms. Keys in person. Between those four its not even close. And ‘yonce is darker than two of those women.
Ok so along that same line of thinking what happened to Nivea *don’t mess with my man*, what’s going on with Cassie (muse or no muse for real for real), blu “hit um up style” cantrell…
these are beautiful light skinned women. Beyonce is Beyonce because she is truley an exceptional entertainer. I dont think you can deny that.
***lows REF whistle*** Nivea (named after a lotion looking boy) looks like a muppet…***blows REF whistle twice*** PLAY BALL!
lows REF whistle*** Nivea (named after a lotion looking boy)
LMAO!!!!!
ok ref…i’ll take the penalty and insert Keke (if only you knew) Wyatt for Nivea.
substitution accepted! she’s DOPE!
Nivea has been on my shit list ever since she wore a pair of knee length spongebob squarepants socks in her music video. Don’t get me wrong. Me and Spongebob kicks it HARD errday on Nick but her overgrown yansh (naija slang for *ss), need not had that on.
***lows REF whistle*** Nivea (named after a lotion looking boy) looks like a muppet…***blows REF whistle twice*** PLAY BALL!
lmbao!!!!!! @Goodness. that is some funny stuff lady
A muppet indeed
blu cantrell is native american/italian… no negro in her family
lol..learn something new everyday however, somebody needs to delete the african american nba player father from her wiki entry.
Well I’m glad Blu Cantrell ain’t one of us. I didn’t wanna claim her no way. She’s a hot mess.
For real. We ain’t claiming that.
@ Luvie & Miss-T
whats wrong with her ??? I only offered the example that light doesn’t always seal your success in double platnum. there is a formula outside of skin tone.
She’s non talented. That’s the only thing I was talking about. I’m sure the kats will argue with me since she’s been in various “men’s” magazines and all.
AND…AND that wench got the nerve to actually walk around with royal blue contacts in her eyes. She offends me.
“She offends me.”
lol…damn. thats cold
Bey…I mean, yeah, she’s garden variety pretty. She’s like girl next door pretty. I remember dating this dude back in college, and him saying one night “oh, she’s got pretty eyes”. I was like, um, okay. That was in the early dc days. Now, that child always looks so airbrushed and made up that it (to me) detracts a bit from her natural attractiveness.
Umm… Benoncay has brown eyes. She enhances them with contacts at times.
The intraracial thing has plagued me for years. What gets and saddens me is the beef that some sistas tend to have with me over something I have no control over.
From an early age, there were girls who, during a playground argument would yell out “hi yella”…I mean, really. Is that the best insult you got? I also learned – quickly – that you cannot, under any circumstances, make any reference to their darker complexions in retaliation because you will not only have to fight them but any other brown sista who heard you say it.
Now that I am grown, I still hear random chicks mutter under their breaths “she ain’t that cute. she just yella and small”. I thought I left all of that on the playground.
“under any circumstances, make any reference to their darker complexions ”
Damn!! to be the minority within the minority, you should get double Affirmative points during interviews. Don’t worry I’m caramel to, i feel ya pain.
“she ain’t that cute. she just yella and small”.
lol…i’m sorry but this is funny as hell
That ain’t funny. :p I am cute despite being yella and small. I have dimples. That automatically makes me cute.
this dude I knew thought I should “choose” him cuz he had dimples…I was like “ni99a please, dimples are a birth defect!” he looked like I just kicked his puppy…
oh no! lol.
As far as birth defects go, dimples are a good one to end up with. Beats the sixth finger…
“As far as birth defects go, dimples are a good one to end up with. Beats the sixth finger…”
or a wretched foot
or an arm on your back.
“or an arm on your back.”
this would actually be cool for a week or so.
Or a 3rd nipple
I was majorette with a chick that had 4 nipples……LMAO
Ok thats jus disturbing! a 4th nipple?? Did you see them? What did they look like? Did they have a function? Did you pass out on sight??
@GOODENess,
THANK you! I don’t know why people go friggin nuts over dimples! I’m not expressing this due to even a hint of jealousy – I, myself have dimples (as do many of my relateives). However, when I constantly see people make a big deal regarding dimples, I just think, ‘Are you serious?!’
For me, I have never loathed or loved one shade over another. I guess it comes from the women in my family; my mom is mixed and my grandma has a rich complexion. Since I loved them both, the whole idea of light v.s. dark has never really had an impact on my life until I started to date.
What gets on my nerves is when men will go on and on about my skin. That’s annoying, especially when all black is beautiful. I have brown skin, so I am not “light” nor am I “dark”. So luckily, the experience hasn’t been THAT severe for me as it has been for my cousins or friends.
“What gets on my nerves is when men will go on and on about my skin.”
thing is though, whats wrong with a guy just loving your skin?
I mean ask any skripper she be gettin paid to show and shake her skin. What if it were your hands?
What!?
Nothing initially…It’s just the in depth analysis that gets me.
As a woman who has dark skin (Go figure LOL), I agree with this post. I never grew up with a color complex and my family protected me from the bullsh*t associated with that ignorance. However I had my moments in college where men would act like my attractiveness was such a surprise because ding dong, I’m a darkie. These incidents caused annoyance but also much disappointment because Black people are beautiful and come in all colors. I also feel that light skin sistas get a bad rap and are punished for the Black community’s ignorance. We cannot help how we look. I think Black women should be appreciated for our beauty and what we offer as people, not our skin color or texture of our hair. I’m also tired of the animosity between dark and light skin sistas. We are all woman who shouldn’t have to deal with discrimination within our own communities
“ding dong, I’m a darkie”
btw, this was the original title of “the audacity of hope” before obama’s publicist convinced him otherwise
“btw, this was the original title of “the audacity of hope” before obama’s publicist convinced him otherwise”
This made me choke. LMAO
btw, this was the original title of “the audacity of hope” before obama’s publicist convinced him otherwise
haha!!!!! lmao
btw, this was the original title of “the audacity of hope” before obama’s publicist convinced him otherwise
I just swallowed my gum and had to Heimlich myself!
yeah…that was unmistakably on of the funnier things i’ve read in quite some time. thanks champ.
LMAO!! My flintstone vitamins just went down the wrong passage. Champ, you tryna kill me.
“LMAO!! My flintstone vitamins just went down the wrong passage. Champ, you tryna kill me.”
how many times do i hafta tell you that flintstone vitamins ARENT suppositories????
:-p. Thats for you.
I am amazed when i meet folks who have color issues. It seems
so plantation-ish. Like…we still do that?
LOL yes we do, in 08!
Next time someone gets all colorstruck in my presence I am going to look at them like a Betamax and say “Do they still make you??” (c) Chris Rock paraphrase….
LMAO @ “Do they still make you??”
I agree. Plus, I think thats a tshirt. I’d rock it EVERYWHERE!
II also wonder if people think, that if the race wars break out, light skinned folk aren’t gonna be down. lol
lol yall asses cant hide at nighttime anyway! u will b found! AND yall got light eyes usually so it means u cant c all that great in daytime. we have NO use 4 u
lol
But my night vision is on point. I’d make a great night sniper.
But you can’t hide! you gon give away ur post
right…glowing from the roof…
yeah we’d have 2 leave u while u sleeping. bringin down our troop
Import shoe polish from Cuba as part of the arms deal.
man I could wear an all black onesie with one of them bank robber hat/mask combos…SNIPE ‘EM!
A black onesie?! CTFU! How did I miss that the first time?!
LMAO @ an all black onesie. I’ve always wanted an adult onesie.
I need a big & tall onesie with size 15 feet! If anyone can find that I will love you for life! LOL!
Umm BigBuck, you may not wanna wear an adult onesie. According to your self-proclaimed stats, you a big dude. If you wore a onesie, folks may think they are seeing “BigFoot”. Then would begin the ugly business of u being aptured and taken to Area 47 where they will administer intense tests for a month straight to determine that in fact, you are just an overgrown man in footies.
“Next time someone gets all colorstruck in my presence I am going to look at them like a Betamax and say “Do they still make you??”"
***applause***
ok, well I’m a red bone (that means light skinned to u yankees) and Gamma and Nanny B used to make me wear a sun bonnet so I didn’t get black-er…see, even in my sunkissed hue, I’m the darkest granchild in my mother’s family cuz there are a few 2520s at the family reunion…I was called “spot”, “toasty” and “chocolate drop” after cheer camp every year because I tan easily and was all sun burned…I mean come on ya’ll my son doesn’t even draw me with a brown crayon, he uses an orange one! I don’t think it’s a big deal so I get frustrated when I know GOODEN well I’m LSPs…I’ve always wanted to be darker…when I was 5, my cousin told me tootsie rolls make u darker, how bout I got sick as a d@mn dawg from eating a whole bag…
“when I was 5, my cousin told me tootsie rolls make u darker, how bout I got sick as a d@mn dawg from eating a whole bag…”
LMAO
I am already a semi-chocolate-y sista but when I was a kid I always wanted to be darker, everyone in my family is darker than me and my two best friends are deep dark sistas, so I wanted to fit in with them because to me they were the most beautiful people I had seen…. cue violins
Ye i hated being the only one who had to wear sun tan lotion when going to the beach, sheeeit i tried forsaking that rule once, came back with redneck. dark patches and most of my UV exposed skin peeling off. My cousins never let that go for two days, they sayed i was one of them Star Trek ni99as
I learned the hard way not to go out with sunscreen as a kid. This summer I made the mistake of driving cross country, in a convertible with no sunscreen. Peeled for two weeks.
Sunscreen is your friend. I too, learned the hard way.
“I mean come on ya’ll my son doesn’t even draw me with a brown crayon, he uses an orange one”
this is cute and sh*t
***blushing*** thanks…he uses a red crayon for my hair too…lol…it is very cute, AT HOME… but in the street he calls people out by color…like “mommy, why is that PINK girl staring at your circle hair*?” or “mommy, his skin looks like my oreos..not the middle part…the cookie part!”…I DIE in public regularly!
*circle hair – that is what he calls my afro…
*circle hair – that is what he calls my afro…
Love it!!!
‘circle hair’
*precious*
That reminds me of my little brother who is 10, referring to my locs “she has braids but they are not braids”
LOL I’m famous for describing people in shapes…even though I have an extensvie vocab and I’m old enough to know better.
Ur son sounds AWESOME!
yeah….he’s definitely enteraining as h3ll…I wonder where he gets that from? lol
Be glad you don’t live in the north where people where leather coats. I actually met someone the hew of his black leather infiniti guts.
When I was in high school there was a girl, a year of me, ALL the boys liked. I didn’t get it…she could dance, always have the freshest hair styles…but she was average looking. BUT she was light and had green eyes. And that took her far. At our school at least. People would say we kinda looked alike and I was offended, lol. The lower half of her face protruded quite a bit, like something you’d see on Extreme Makeover. And she had foul breath on the regular. But the boys LOVED her.
Maybe she put out…
…..sounds like that was Gamma Ray…Gigga Boo type stuff going on at your school…she was different..not the norm- but thats the thing I would think folk would get bored with a type…variety packs are fun ! ( :
mix it up…
nope you were in the south and light skinned points will make a 4 a 10 down here. I use to work with another manager that was light skinned. She was mixed and was quite militant and I always felt like she was trying to prove her blackness but on the other hand she did feel a sense of entitlement from men because of her skin. She thought dudes should automatically drop to their knees because she was light skin, with hazel eyes and long hair. She was like honey, I hate when these men dont realize what a commodity I am on these streets….LMAO she was crazy as h.e.ll
“I hate when these men dont realize what a commodity I am on these streets”
you manager didn’t happen to be named “crack” or “weed hook-up” did she?
naw but I have borrowed that line for myself not because I am light skinned but because I am that Fiyah!!!!…Who me? that’s who
I’m the round out the tank…….
LMAO I have had no sleep, I am a bit delirious. Every since I saw 2 can play that game I have picked a motto and theme song for every mood and occasion…That was a throwback for yall a$$es!!! (lack of sleep brings out my Mrs. Hydesha hood side)
yeah, i knew this light skinned chick who i swear had no neck (i’m not joking…i mapquested that sh*t and the results came back “no results found”) and she still got play. i couldn’t understand it for the life of me.
in fact, it seems like quite a few of the light chicks that went to high school with me got bludgeoned with the “busted baby” stick. for shame.
Ok..I am representing for the dark skinned sistas..and to all my other dutch dipped dolls out there have you ever heard :
1. Is that your hair? (dark skinned people cannot have wavy i.e. good hair) Or do you have a curl?
2. Are you from Louisiana? You must be Cajun?
3…my favorite…Hablo Espanol?
4. You are pretty black women?( so if I was light skinned I wouldn’t be cute ? )
I am a different color in the summer and in the fall– so is that why the brothas I met change from season to season?
The whole dark skinned brothas are back or out or on vacation thing is sooo lame to me…People who date or group folk this way are missing out…narrowing their options.
I think this is more of a male oriented selection process- I on the other hand..likes what likes..light, dark, in between, whatever…if I dig you I dig you…
But I will say the men I’ve been serious with..alll Loved them some chocolate ( :
Ironically- their mothers were as dark or even more sun kissed than me…fellas, any connection here ? hmmm?
Interesting. Most of the men I’ve dated mother’s are/were fair.
“Ironically- their mothers were as dark or even more sun kissed than me…fellas, any connection here ? hmmm?”
there probably is. i’ll do some research on this after i finish my eggs and ribs
@ Champ the modern day black Sigmund…let us know what you come up with.
i havent found anything yet, although, admittedly, you probably wont find any data like this on bgol.com
Wow, i never knew that there were so many people going through the same hustle and interracial bias.
Well here in the South (Africa that is) we have three major denominations, the White (split into English and Dutch descent), the Darkies (Natives), and Colourds (Mix between Blakc and Whites).
Now the Colourds here are considered to be a lost race because unlike us Natives they have no Tradition, language and their existence stems from the white mans curiosity (this is the status quo). During the struggle the Colourds under Law were considered non-white, but “better” than the darkies, and this gave birth to the animosity. After the struggle they aligned themselves under the Darkies and fought to have themselves legally considered “Black”, so as to gain from Affirmative Action. Where am i going with this?….the defining physical apearence of Colourds here is by their light skin colour and wavy hair, as we Darkies still have that Nappy-unwashedwool-texture hair.
So for me being a light skinned Darkie with Light hair, ni99as life was a little harder, anyone who didn’t know me thought i was colourd, so they be given squinted looks, until i actually start speaking in my ethnic toungue then they be like “oh sorry man, i thought you was one of them colourd coons”. So here for a woman to be light-skinned-black woman has a negative connatation to it, kinda different to what yall going through aint it!!
**Note – as much as i am against racism, it will take me a while to get over my animosity with our “colourd” group, they were sell outs during the struggle, and they had the audacity to look down on us Darkies while they fed-off the scrap of the masters plate, i think they are a generation of Chucking-and-jiving-House-ni99as who are one shade away from looking their deities.***
Wow Sisanda. Truly appreciate the knowledge you just dropped.
Having grown up in 7th ward New Orleans, I too understand the concept of three major groups. During slavery and right up until the civil rights era, N.O. was divided economically and socially among Whites, Creoles and Africans brought to or born in the states. Though, technically there are white and black Creoles, the term has been used widely to identify those who descend from the French and Spanish settlers, Native Americans and Africans. Creoles had more rights than their darker counterparts, many were free and had access to education. My own great grand parents moved into the 7th ward, known for its infamous paper bag test some residents say they had to pass to move in, because it was home to better schools, etc. During the civil rights movement, many creoles got on the ‘black band wagon’ so they could access certain jobs and the like; others didn’t participate at all because they thought they were above the struggle. Historically, most of New Orleans’ most successful black citizens have been creole; there is a joke in N.O.that the city has never had a black mayor…only white and creoles. The city is different now but there are still some Creoles who do not wholly black identify.
Personally, I see creole as a culture, not a race or ethnicity. However, I see how this system – created by whites but embraced by those who stood to gain from it – would and does bring on these complexion issues in our communities.
My question? When and how do we move beyond the color issue? There are bigger fish to fry out there.
@ V.E.G jeeeeez this is the first time i even here of this, thanks for the brief lesson, i will def. read up more about it.
To answer your question as best as i can, we need more than rappers and snappy marketing schemes, the revolution is us!. There’s a South African man by the name of Steve Biko (for those of you who have never heard of him please look him up, and his book called “I write what i like). Steve Biko once sayed something so profound, that i really took it to heart, he sayed “How do you expect to win the war, with an already defeated army ? how do you expect to win when your own soldiers believ the other army to be mightier than they are?”. Biko promoted a movement called Black Consciousness, and sought to show black people that we really have something to be proud of within ourself, that every black person should be proud to be black. After years of Apartheid, and Slavery the one thing the white man has significantly damaged is our pride, for centuries we were treated like dogs made to believe our skin hue was the source of our grief, and so we learnt to almost resent our blackness. We need to regain our pride….yes we can
P.S and after all my logic and theory, i add motherf***er so you ignitt ni99as hear me!!! (I paraphrase)
P.S and after all my logic and theory, i add motherf***er so you ignitt ni99as hear me!!! (I paraphrase)
nah SISANDA you got it right!!
***holding up a lighter with one hand and googling Steve Biko with the other***
“How do you expect to win the war, with an already defeated army ? how do you expect to win when your own soldiers believ the other army to be mightier than they are?”.
This is a profound statement. I think it applies to dark skinned folks all over the world cuz I know they’re going through the same things in China, India, the middle east, south America, the caribbean etc etc.
And for those who dont know about Biko, there’s also a movie. Denzel plays Biko : )
Biko was AWESOME…and some of y’all really need to watch Cry Freedom…isht was deep…
Tons of people passed though and never looked back. Bliss Broyard did a really good (but kinda sappy) write in “One Drop” detailing her father’s decision to pass -they were all from the french quarter, (though he had darker brothers and sisters who racially identified as black).
Sometimes I wonder what black people today would do if given that option.
I have “white” cousins living in L.A. We have the same great great grandmother and she is black so how they are white I am not sure…but, every now and then, one of them in that line of the fam will pop out a brown baby. Brings ‘em back to reality.
“every now and then, one of them in that line of the fam will pop out a brown baby.”
I hope one of them dont leave that brown baby at the hospital. 1 point for Genetics, 0 for the passers!!
Ha ha! I looove it. In college, I had to read “The Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man” by James Weldon Johnson. Its about a light skinned black man who made the decision to pass back in the early 1900′s, and his reasoning behind it. Even though he married a white woman and had white looking kids, my professor always used to mention that the color will pop up somewhere down the line with grand kids, great grandkids. It was only a matter of time.
and you get a kid like Bliss who outs you in 500 pages with pictures of errybody detailing how you dissed your own mama and never looked back.
@Dom,
It’s true that genetics can rear its unexpected head at any biologically-subject moment. My grandfather passed for White and, thus, attained a high-paying job – one that virtually no African-American would, at the time, even DREAM of obtaining. He married my grandmother, a Brown-skinned woman, and had lighter children. His son (my father) married a Brown-skinned woman, but my sister and I came out extremely light-skinned…you just never know.
BTW my sister has freckles and red hair (after inheriting my grandfather’s irish genes. LOL)
Peace! =]
i appreciate both of y’alls history lessons. though i’m well aware of steven biko, i could always stand to learn more.
“i appreciate both of y’alls history lessons.”
**Note – as much as i am against racism, it will take me a while to get over my animosity with our “colourd” group, they were sell outs during the struggle, and they had the audacity to look down on us Darkies while they fed-off the scrap of the masters plate, i think they are a generation of Chucking-and-jiving-House-ni99as who are one shade away from looking their deities.***
damn…
I’m Nigerian, and the color complex rears its ugly head in the worst ways in my peoples. I know WAYYY too many Nigerian women (and even some men) who feel that they are too dark, and thereby resort to bleaching their skins. This is problematic in many ways.
1. They feel that being dark is unattractive.
2. Often times, they don’t just bleach their skin 1 or 2 shades. I know someone who used to be CHOCOLATE; skin like black velvet. After years of bleaching, she is now the color of Beyonce (seriously. no joke). Apart from the drastic physical change, can you imagine the DAMAGE one has to do the skin to go bout 10 shades lighter?? I doubt she has a functional dermis layer. Which brings me to…
3. None of the bleaching these people are doing is being monitored by a health professional. People are using homemade concoctions that often involve BLEACH and ammonia. Add sun exposure to these awful ingredients and you have the PERFECT host for skin cancer.
To wrap it up… all this sh*t is because they feel that being dark is in ugly. ALL this sh*t. I love my Nigerians (Gawd knows i do), but I hope this skin bleaching don’t kill em dead ‘fo they learn to stop and accept themselves.
First of all you are never supposed to mix bleach and ammonia. The thought of mixing them and then putting it on your skin blows my mind.
You really know someone who bleached herself using this method? She’s still alive?
Ummm…YEAH!! I know COUNTLESS amount of people who’ve bleached themselves into oblivion. And yes, they are alive. Not hot looking (but of course they’d say otherwise), but alive nonetheless. Got dark ass knuckles where they forgot to put the bleach. Walking around looking like Beetlejuice (but the stripes are the uneven parts of their bodies).
I pity them fools. PLUS, when they hang around in the sun too long, their skin gets greenish tinges to it. It’s just a mess and it ain’t worth it.
*The More You Know* —- *Shooting Star behind C-List Actor*
I loved those “The more you know” spots. Yes, I am a nerd. Happily.
Luvvie, I’m so nodding my head thinking about those women I see in Nairobi (I’m Kenyan) with the part bleached look. To clarify these are people who only bleach the noticeable parts of their bodies that is the face- only till the neck, the hands- only to the wrists or elbow, the legs between the knee and ankle.
At some point the government banned the stuff they use to do it.It’s a bit more toxic here with the bleach and ammonia mixtures plus actual illegal bleaching creams that contain mercury. Even though the stuff is banned it’s so easy to get it because the demand is so high. Here the preference for light women is so in evidence which simply perpetrates the cycle.I even remember reading about some woman whose husband left her for a ‘naturally’ light skinned woman because the stuff stopped working on her and her skin began to peel and turn dark. For us though it’s one of those things people don’t want to admit to its existence because it’s an admission of the legacy of inadequacy and most Kenyans sweep this under the rug along with the myriad of issue that hold us.
“bleach and ammonia”!!!
dear lord they don’t mix. Maybe a good chemistry class could hip them to this. You could blow something up with that mixture.
When I was a teenager I mopped with a bleach/ammonia mix. The dog slept for 10 hrs straight and was groggy for hours after that. We still swear it was the bleach/ammonia. I was pulled off mopping duty after that.
“When I was a teenager I mopped with a bleach/ammonia mix. The dog slept for 10 hrs straight and was groggy for hours after that. We still swear it was the bleach/ammonia. I was pulled off mopping duty after that.”
you know, these are pretty much the exact same sentences that begin the first paragraph of “dahmer: the autobiography”
i’m not saying you could be a serial killer or anything, but…
LMAO poor, poor dog.
LMAO!! you finally do somethin domesticated and thats what happened. Shame.
“Walking around looking like Beetlejuice (but the stripes are the uneven parts of their bodies).”
oh wow. i think i just dry heaved.
@ Luvvie, are you in any way related to Obama? hahahahaha…i got nothin but love for ya girl, i’m just playin.
But damn you guys are some pretty advanced Africans aint ya, i thought we were supposed to be the New York of Africa and we don’t have that skin bleaching sh*t down here….but then again, yall ni99as is dark. That bleaching ish is a sign of a lack of love of who you are, and idiolisation of the white world, trust me this is a universal problem for us black folk. We need to start reading more on us, and gain a full understanding of our heritage to see that we are indeed beautiful, the light that eminates from the Dark Continent.
P.S Everyone has to read that Willie Lynch script, it’s still relevant today
P.S Everyone has to read that Willie Lynch script, it’s still relevant today
I am willing to bet that every VSB(S) is way up on the Lynch-ism…I think it’s required reading to get your VSB certification…or it should be!
Willie Lynch is a good one to read, but folks should keep in mind that the existence of Willie Lynch has been disproven.
Thank you. I was JUST talking about that yesterday! I believe the docs have been proven to use language consistent with late 20th century dialoge, making them fake.
Fake indeed, but relevant for sure…
Ol girl you de speak truf oh.
I had a younger cousin rub omo all over her face when I was in Nigeria one time because she wanted to be pretty. I was 11 and thought that was sad.
Omo? That’s sad. It does bring back other memories though.
I went to one of those boarding schools that didn’t allow us to relax or hair but we all did cause it was what everyone did. At some point the administration decided to enforce the rules. The penalty was that you had to cut your hair if you were found out. Needless to say all the home remedies for making your hair get back to kinky came out………… When you wash your hair with Omo or Coke it gets back to kinky……….. I shudder to think of the damage we inflicted on it.
Malaika where did u go to boarding school? (..where they had a no process rule for hair and enforced it)
LOL she probably went to school in Naija. My sisters had to cut there hair all through boarding school. I think it negatively affected them because they stay with the longest weaves now lol
Not Naija, lol Kenya…… when I met my first Nigerian pal I discovered both countries have lots in common even though we’re on different sides of the continent. It was hilarious comparing notes though. All those who passed through that sh!yt need a medal of some kind.
We survivors..
D G what is omo? she rubbed it all over her/his face for what purpose? to lighten his/her skin perhaps?
Its this blue powdery soap that they use to wash clothes. I’ve only seen it in Nigeria but I just googled an image and apparently they make this all over the world. http://selmainthecity.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/omo-concentrate-1kg.jpg
The thing about the soap is, it has no delicateness whatsoever, its straight bleaches everything. So imagine what it would do to a 9 year old little girl’s face smh
Dam that omo is crazy wit it. do we really hate our skin tone so much that we have to bleach our skin? dam!
Alright, well i come from the same place and i just had to put in my 22 cents.
I don’t totally agree with u, i think Naij is a very confused place. My experience growing up was this. Unless you were half-caste (what we call half white half black ppl) Nigerians have an aversion for extremities.
While all the mixed ppl were adored no matter what they actually looked like. Light skinned black ppl were calle yellow banana, orange pawpaw, were told that they could be used as a lamp/torch and stuff like that. Very dark ppl were called blackie, charcoal and what not. the only thing i would say that was different about the teason was that it is never really malicious but more matter of fact.
Skinny ppl r made fun off (skeleton, don’t go out, the wind will break you) as were fat ppl (you eat too much, don’t you want to get married). We have equal opportunity teasing over there.
Now as to the ppl that bleach – look at the class of ppl that do it. They might sometimes be rich but they are usually not very educated. Nigerians have this whole effed up mentality that anything white is better and i think that’s more of what the problem is. anyway… i could go on and on…but i just wanted to say that it’s not so much about being lighter but being able to appear mixed.
I should add that in Naij, most of the light skinned black ppl could not be mistaked for white. They are just lighter (think more yellow/orange)but that’s it. hair is the same texture, features, eyes, everything…. but then mixed ppl have curly hair and are a different kind of light.
Whether light or dark, ugly = ugly 100% of the time.
True.
True. But I have to say ugly light skinned folk tend to be EXTRA ugly. Just something I’ve noticed.
I wholeheartedly concur. My colorstruck kinfolk used to call this “yellow wasted”
Girl…my maw maw uses that term.
V dot observes:
“True. But I have to say ugly light skinned folk tend to be EXTRA ugly. Just something I’ve noticed.”
ima have to defer. (not always) if u look like a signified moankey then ur just gargoyle-ish no matter the skin tone.
however i do look at people and wonder if there skintone were diff would i change my opinion on how good or bad they look. (which is a wee bit different than ur appraisal)
pass… wait, puff. pass…
“True. But I have to say ugly light skinned folk tend to be EXTRA ugly. Just something I’ve noticed.”
I think the ‘EXTRA’ that you’re referring to is due to their light complexion, their flaws are easier to notice and they stand out a bit more. If you scribble on a white sheet of paper with bright colors, it’s gonna show more than if you scribble on a black piece of paper…lol. Effed up analogy, I know, but you get the point.
naw, this is stupit. i think people expect light skinned people to be cute so it’s a bigger disappointment when they ain’t. so then they say they’re extra ugly, when really, they just ain’t cute.
Was this post inspired by Tyra’s series? lol
I thought of some more and it all got zapped.
I grew up in a mostly Hispanic city. They even have color issues, as well, you’d be suprised.
My immediate family never played the color struck card. My Mom was really light, people thought she was white, and my Dad is a dark chocolate color. Myself and my sister and brothers are all a mix in between shades of both of my parents. It was never an issue. It wasn’t until I got older and started speaking with more sisters and brothers about colorism that I realized how crazy it really is.
Dating wise, you know I’m all over the spectrum, I don’t have a preference, except I don’t do the pink meat. lol
You’re right I have seen many lighskinned mud ducks deemed attractive, and I’m not hating either because I am light…lmao
My Puerto Rican friend once told me she got some grief in her family cuz her skin is a bit browner (and her hair curlier) than her other family members.
“Was this post inspired by Tyra’s series? lol”
actually yeah. p’s a big tyra show fan. i even think he’s gone to a few tapings
ouch.
HA! Burn!
what series?
Here’s one of the shows.
I’m trying to find a link for you, give me a sec.
Okay…here ya go.
http://www.imeem.com/people/3NyCHVT/video/gqj3mZJC/tyra_banks_show_april_24_2008_do_light_skinned_blacks_h/
I found a link on imeem, but the site wouldn’t allow it to show…
I am yellow in the winter, like glow in the dark yellow, and golden brown in the summer. I like my complexion even when i get darker. I must say, however, the growing up in New England, skin color is not noticed like that. If you’re black, you’re black. Men dont really get into the light dark thing.
Spending summers in the south however, NC and non-tourist area Miami… I noticed how much more attention I got just for being “red.” I had never had so much attention from men in my life til i went to the south. I had also never had so much attention from girls either. A lot of the crews that hung out together we all of one shade. And the brown skinned girls HATED the lighter ones. it was crazy to me.
i agree with most of the commenters in saying that cute is cute and ugly is ugly. I, personally, dont have a preference for light versus dark men. I’ve dated the rainbow.
I’ve noticed, however, that darker men like me. And I’ve been told that its because I am lightskinned and petite. I think thats wack. I dont take it as an insult of compliment.
I am yellow in the winter, like glow in the dark yellow, and golden brown in the summer.
lmao…I can relate.
My cousin once told me my legs were pearly white like teeth.
My cousin once told me my legs were pearly white like teeth.
LOL. I have a friend who is glow in the dark yellow in the winter and spring mainly her legs and feet. I tell her some white women is wearing your shorts and shoes now I have the pearly white like teeth comment, thanks.
Yeah ur joints are SEE-THROUGH. I will testify to that on a witness stand.
Growing up and because there was some family contention on color. I had to memorize EVERY dark skinned beautiful black woman that ever walked the face of the earth. I know just crazy random stuff about the first darker skinned model ever to grace jet, the first dark skinned woman to become a stewardness for a major airline, the first dark skinned woman who worked for a telephone company. Oh Lord and in the mid 80s Naomi Sims was the poster lady for it all-though she had already made her big splash decades before.
but Im grateful the 80s in the DC area was not the most ideal time to raise dark skinned black girls.
And its true, Naomi Sims (and her other poster child compadres) saved my adolescence.
naomi would definitely get it. in fact, i don’t think i’ve ever known of a naomi who wouldnt get the cheesesteak.
Naomi Judd?
^^^ haha!!!
there was actually like a 6.5 year window where naomi judd was somewhat bangable.
You are sick.
“there was actually like a 6.5 year window where naomi judd was somewhat bangable”
The 80′s right?
also…shout-out to the burgh!!!
i hate to bust your provolone cheese…but the burgh ain’t philly.
Cheesesteaks are delicious. I prefer those from “Great Steak & Potato Co.” myself.
LOL now you know those aren’t authentic cheesesteaks. Those are gluttonous steak sammiches!
Authentic or not. Delicious, they are.
Gutbusters in the West End (ATL)!!
I am so tired of people who think they won the lottery because they are light skinned. I think that the majority of the people I have encountered since being on this coast and living in the south compared to the west coast get so caught up on how light someone is. I have even had men that have said “you have features of a light skinned girl” is this to say that because I have a small nose and eyes somehow that makes my brown skin better .. or men who have said you dont look like a typical brown skin girl .. you look ethnic .. or they think i look ethiopian or half chinese so that somehow makes me better than just being plain old BLACK… ughh .this topic burns my biscuit!
Lets get over the being colorstruck people!
“this topic burns my biscuit! ”
thats a shame. personally, i like my biscuits to be a bit softer
As do I. I am a connoisseur of the Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits myself.
One would think that, from your many posts about food, you were obese.
LOL I kno rite.
“One would think that, from your many posts about food, you were obese.”
i could be. you never know.
lol. That was directed at Luvvie but it does apply to you.
Eggs and ribs?
I grew up in Seattle, an interracial relationship mecca, so when I was younger I had it bad for the light-skinned chicks with green or hazel eyes. Unfortunately, I was too dark for them. Once dark-skinned brothers started getting some play, I was finally able to get with them. After years of rejection, I was not feeling the “bright” girls anymore. Married and divorced a chocolate brown sister. Feeling a little more enlightened now, I am attracted to all shades of beautiful black women.
see…this is something that gets forgotten about…that until like 1989, dark skinned men faced alot of the same issues that darker women did.
My ex moved to Chicago from Haiti with his family in the mid-80s. He was in high school. He has stories of girls making fun of his complexion, to his face, calling him all sorts of names. Needless to say, he went to college and the white girls thought he was exotic. I was the first black woman he seriously dated (he was 33 when we met!) and I don’t think he’s dated once since. Lol. He married a Latina.
I’m just here to console all my beautiful black women who feel they’ve been discriminated against. If any of y’all need to talk about it just hit me up (with a pic of course) and we’ll sit before a fireplace sip on a glass of your favorite wine and really connect, on a personal level.
dammit. you beat me to the punch.
ridiculous…
Dorian – HILARIOUS!!!
*(btw what’s your email address, I really feel discriminated against for being so cute and could use some comfort right about now).
Its in the name. Don’t forget to include that pic. I just want to truly take in your beauty so I can understand the pain you feel from these heathen men out here.
LMAO!! Why am I picturing Dorian saying this while wearing a silk robe and an ascot??
“LMAO!! Why am I picturing Dorian saying this while wearing a silk robe and an ascot??”
probably because of a condition known to scientists as “thirstus hornicoccus”
‘probably because of a condition known to scientists as “thirstus hornicoccus”’
Common mistake Champ. My condition is actually predatorus pussigina. While the symptoms appear to be similar to t.h., its a lot more deadlier. Kind of like West Nile Virus vs. the Common Cold
“Common mistake Champ. My condition is actually predatorus pussigina. ”
i was saying that luvvie was afflicted with “thirstus hornicoccus”, not you
*Sobs quietly as my joke dies a painful death*
Say whhhaaaatttt, Champ?? Me thirsty??? TAKE THAT BACK!! :-p I already drank vitamin water today.
“I already drank vitamin water today.”
This could be interpreted in so many different ways. lol. Was it a protein rich water?
Don’t be ridiculous, no one wears silk robes AND ascots at the same time.
No one?? Umm I believe thats Hugh Hefner’s uniform.
Why am I picturing Dorian saying this while wearing a silk robe and an ascot??
On some straight up Ladies’ Man steez huh?
LMAO!!!
okay dude, you got dying over here!
LMBAO
*searching for my favorite picture to send
@Dorian G.,
You are funny! Your offer has the attributes of an underlying desire. It is similar to saying, “Show up completely naked at my house so that we can, in a totally platonic manner, discuss the emotional hardships you’ve endured.”
hahahaa!
color stratification within races is a bitch… in fact, i wrote a paper about it in my intro to sociology class a morehouse… it was taught by a darker complexioned woman so i got an A cuz i think she liked what i had to say about it… anywho, i don’t claim light-skinnedness… not anymore that’s for damn sure.
i remember growing up and this boy told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and when i asked why, he said it was because i was light skin… it made me feel weird especially since i’m hot outside of my shade of color…
i am a firm believer that black people are beautiful… that’s not to be confused with all black people are beautiful because Seal has certainly proved that wrong… that was kinda mean but f*ck it… he’s married to a white woman and so is wesley snipes… and i’m surprised that T.O’s son is black too!!!
clearly i went on a tangent with this reply but u know what i’m sayin…
color stratification within races is a biotch… in fact, i wrote a paper about it in my intro to sociology class a morehouse… it was taught by a darker complexioned woman so i got an A cuz i think she liked what i had to say about it… anywho, i don’t claim light-skinnedness… not anymore that’s for damn sure.
i remember growing up and this boy told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and when i asked why, he said it was because i was light skin… it made me feel weird especially since i’m hot outside of my shade of color…
i am a firm believer that black people are beautiful… that’s not to be confused with all black people are beautiful because Seal has certainly proved that wrong… that was kinda mean but f*ck it… he’s married to a white woman and so is wesley snipes… and i’m surprised that T.O’s son is black too!!!
clearly i went on a tangent with this reply but u know what i’m sayin…
***this is the clean version… my bad!!***
“Seal has certainly proved that wrong”
ok I need to start a crusade for Seal…Am I the only black woman who thinks he is hot as he$ll.
Seal is sexy. Scars and all.
Thank you VEG ..i got my clipboard out for a petition. Men can sign too in the no homo column.
Comeback coddles:
“Men can sign too in the no homo column. (Seal is sexy petition)
heh, heh heh (inhales) whooooooooooooooooo!
GK i’ll take that as a signature. My clipboard thanks you kindly.
Seal just doesn’t do it for me, but I can understand the attraction, I guess *shrug*
Yes ma’am. I love Seal.
Seal is HELLA sexy and anyone who says otherwise will get a visit from T-Lee for her trademarked throat punches.
um NO, you are not the only one. He’s hawt to me, and it’s not just because he is a rock star. He has sex appeal coming out the wazoo
“He has sex appeal coming out the wazoo”
YES!!!! pours out.
MMMM seal…
nah, seal is on my list of men that could get it!
Women go to Morehouse?
LOL I was thinking that too!
Same here. Ladebelle needs more people.
FYI…Women who attend Spelman or Clark Atlanta can take classes at Morehouse and vice versa. I took some Physics classes and C++ there while at Spelman.
*flashbacks to Dr. Oyedeje and his horrible physics classes.*
Oh. Well then. I guess she DID get mo’ people
This is some brilliant isht: “It’s like intra-race reverse affirmative action.”
You got props for the rest of the year for that turn of phrase, homie.
“It’s like intra-race reverse affirmative action.”
I don’t know what that means so I’m gonna take it as disrespect
“I don’t know what that means so I’m gonna take it as disrespect”
shout out to the 40 year old virgin!!!!!!!!!!
L.M.A.O.
thanks Tyler…every now and then I try to step up my knowledge game.
“the long hair thing though actually has biological reasoning to it. long, healthy hair suggests youth and fertility, two characteristics that men are typically attracted to.”
Really, Champ? Really?!
Who’s biology have you been studying? Where else in nature does this happen?
I’m a little disappointed that you would make such a wide generalization. Old women can grow long healthy hair. Of all the physical traits that imply youth and fertility, I’ve never heard hair mentioned once.
“There have been studies that prove men are attracted to long hair because it signifies good health and fertility. Subconsciously men are hardwired to notice tiny details in women such as fullness of the cheeks, color of the skin and other more sexual details that indicate a good candidate for passing on genes with a good partner. On a purely animalistic (pre health care caveman days) level a woman that is healthy enough to grow nice long hair is probably not sickly or vitamin deficient. It is a biological advantage for a male to pass on his genes to a female that is healthy enough to carry his offspring to term and beyond.”
this is paraphrased from
Evolutionary Psychology: The Ultimate Origins of Human Behavior
Damn…You’re good! I just thought it was “some book.”
The issue with Black people is that there’s a large percentage of us that degrade other black people and never have nothing nice to say or encouraging words at that
I’m just saying I hear my own color talk about each other like its cute to do or something but it’s not….
I was just reading some of the comments people posted and if we don’t have anything nice to say about people just don’t say anything….this is why our color of people feel degraded not just by the white people or others but by our very people and simply put its disgusting.
LET’S MAKE LOVE and not negativity k people. k.
Can this get the wet blanket of the day award????
lol, today’s entry is a bit (read: “alot”) more serious than yesterday’s, so the wet blanketness is somewhat expected.
ok, ok… lol
I haven’t read anybody’s replies yet, but I kind of have to disagree with your claims to how severe the problem is, even though I do agree with the overall sentiment.
Ironically I was just thinking about freshman year (1997-1998) this morning and how there was this lightskinned girl, let’s call her CA, whose mind must have been “forked”. Her mind was “forked” because none of the dudes were checking for her. She was the highest of yellows, had light eyes, thin, cool personality, with a nicely controlled, almost charming bourge factor. But all of that stuff failed to come together and make cats check for her. She just wasn’t *that* cute. I’ve known other light skinned girls who didn’t rule over all the men around because they were only mildly attractive.
I will say this – a girl being lightskinned is like having an Ivy League school on your resume: she WILL get serious consideration up front off GP. She might even get asked out just because. But if she’s really not that cute, that won’t last long.
“I will say this – a girl being lightskinned is like having an Ivy League school on your resume: she WILL get serious consideration up front off GP. She might even get asked out just because. But if she’s really not that cute, that won’t last long.”
good analogy
for me, growing up where i did, i seent it with mah own eyes.
and to be quite truthful, i see it all the time. i work at a nightclub so i get to see the light-busteds get major play for no reason. especially, and i hate to say this, if you add the parties geared towards lower socio-economic class.
hood ninjas love them a lightskinned honey.
Go to any predominately black college and if you never experienced interracial prejudices, you will then. Unfortunately, the paperbag test is still in effect in the south. It shouldn’t matter as I stated in a previous comment because one drop of Black blood in your system makes you Black. Society as a whole says that and it doesn’t care if you’re on the lighter side or the darker side.
I call my family the rainbow coalition(shout out to Jesse) because just from my family we come in all shades from the lightest to the white to the darkest of the black and I fall somewhere in between (yeah brown skinned people…smile). I didn’t see any special treatment in my family because of skin color; I didn’t see it manifest into an issue until I got to college.
Or live in the South!!! The south is where slavery happened, jim crow etc. It was only a little more than 50 years ago when we were given “equal” rights. So most of us are the second or third generation removed from jim crow. Although its sad, It takes way longer to get over the psychological effects, especially considering our culture still uses the divide and conquer theory when it comes to light and dark skinned women.
“I grew up in a mostly Hispanic city. They even have color issues, as well, you’d be surprised.”
Just turn your TV to the Telemundo, and I bet you 90% of the people you see don’t even look one bit Hispanic.
With me, I’ve always had a thing for my dark butts (and that’s word to Yung Berg . . .hey that rhymes . . .I might have a chance at a rap career after all . . .hell if Jim Jones can do it . . .)
I have 2 babies by a dark skin woman. The funny thing is my kids came out lighter than me and I’m considered a pretty boy (light skin, hazel eyes, curly hair . . I got Indian in my family yall, what!!!. . .not really) Christopher Williams, AL B Sure type if you will. It’s so bad that people think my children’s mother isn’t really their mother.
Personally I think all this is BS. But it’s the world we live in. I’m not saying we should except it for what it is, I’m just saying. It’s just like when my homie who’s 5 foot 2 gets rejected by the ladies for being short. So some of you shouldn’t get your panties in a bunch over this light skin vs. dark skin issue, when some of you have discriminated against the opposite sex for other physical features.
“It’s just like when my homie who’s 5 foot 2 gets rejected by the ladies for being short. So some of you shouldn’t get your panties in a bunch over this light skin vs. dark skin issue, when some of you have discriminated against the opposite sex for other physical features.”
this will be a topic next week, btw
This topic will be explosive. I’ve had to give up on some great kitty kat all because she chose to disrespect my own friends for being short. I’ve seen it happen in person. I was 5’6 when I graduated high school and I could see my mom distraught for what she thought was pulling up the short straws in the genetic lottery. I swear she was more proud of my 6 inch growth spurt in college, then me actually receiving my degree.
Men who are 5’2″ should only hit on women who are their height or shorter. I am 5’5″ and a 5’4″ man tried to holla. I wear heels daily. We would not have worked. Plus, short men tend to be crazy.
“Plus, short men tend to be crazy.”
i’m gonna just table this comment for next week, lol
Oh, this will be good!
I know! Im anxious already!
*setting my blogosphere TIVO for this one*
Just turn your TV to the Telemundo, and I bet you 90% of the people you see don’t even look one bit Hispanic.
I’ve heard that about the hispanic community. I remember this one girl I went to college with who was from the D.R. She was gorgeous, but wasn’t considered attractive by other hispanics because she had a darker complexion. I didn’t grow up around this mentality, so to me beauty has nothing to do with skin color. It’s really more about features than anything else. If you look at a lot of the fashion models, there are a lot of darker skinned women with stunning features.
question for vsb: where does “preference” end and “color struckness” begin. for instance, if a dark skinned black guy prefers lighter skinned women, whats the difference between just being more attracted to redbones and being color struck…or is there even a difference?
preference ends when you only date along color lines? I mean if you are walking around saying..she fine, I just dont do dark skin sisters then its not preference….its also an issue to me when a dark skinned brother prefers light skin and vice versa. I think this shows some internal issues with oneself. For you not to be attracted to your own skin tone? the one you see growing up every day in the mirror? its the same with black people that only date white people….
“its also an issue to me when a dark skinned brother prefers light skin and vice versa. ”
so you have an issue with all the black (light, red, medium brown, and brown) women who happily profess to having a preference for dark skinned men?
I am not going to say “problem” I am going to say I question it. Mostly because of my own issue. Being a caramel coated cutie…growing up I could not identify with light or dark but I often went to school with white people and felt left out there and when I came home to the hood, I was accused of trying to be white so I was left out there.. I think my dark skinned preference comes from identifying with the plight of the dark skinned brother in society…….LMAO that last sentence is some bull but I do question if my preference stems from those issues? Or is it that I saw Mandingo to early in life? But then my father is dark skinned and that could explain it as well…..
excuse me,
following your logic. Fat people should be attracted to fat people and fine people should only be attracted to fine people coz that’s what they see in the mirror everyday.
Imagine if someone said, i only date people with curly hair coz i have curly hair too. And if i wanted to take a less extreme example, should mixed people only date mixed people? and should they be required to be mixed the same way? i.e. i can’t date her coz neither of her parents are asian and donc her eyes don’t look like what i see in the mirror everyd day?
Colorstruck is when you front on a person of one color who’s unmistakeably hot, fine, beautiful, and dope. A preference won’t prevent you from seeing what’s right in front of your face.
Good description.
“hot, fine, beautiful, and dope” is relative, depending on the person’s preference so I don’t think there is anyone who is considered UNIVERSALLY hot, fine beautiful AND dope.
Is there?
Yes, me.
Dorian, you need mo’ people. Im willing to verify the truth of ur statement if u send me a pic.
Don’t make me do it to you dunny cuz i’ll over do it, just drop me an email. By the way you must be an Igbo woman. I’m guessing Aba.
Wrong!! I’m Yoruba.
“Wrong!! I’m Yoruba.”
Ah so that means you can’t cook. Its ok we all have our crosses to bear.
Ah ah!! Wetin dey w/ the hateration?
I think being color struck is an aspect of a person’s preference.
“’There have been studies that prove men are attracted to long hair because it signifies good health and fertility. Subconsciously men are hardwired to notice tiny details in women such as fullness of the cheeks, color of the skin and other more sexual details that indicate a good candidate for passing on genes with a good partner. On a purely animalistic (pre health care caveman days) level a woman that is healthy enough to grow nice long hair is probably not sickly or vitamin deficient. It is a biological advantage for a male to pass on his genes to a female that is healthy enough to carry his offspring to term and beyond.’
this is paraphrased from
Evolutionary Psychology: The Ultimate Origins of Human Behavior”
first, my apologies for not keeping the replies inline, the workplace browser just ain’t having it.
second, who wrote this book and from whence did they get their information? how can this be applied to, specifically, african peoples who don’t grow long hair by the very make up of their genes. Coiled hair doesn’t get very “long” because it grows in, well, coils. They’re like springs and the tighter the coils of a spring the stronger and subsequently more healthier the hair.
And I wonder if they are strictly speaking of the hair on your head? In some cultures hairy women are the, ahem, mane attraction.
http://www.ulm.edu/~palmer/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology
here’s a link to that book, as well as a wiki entry.
now, i didnt do my own personal in-depth study of this study, but i will say that this isn’t the first time ive heard this viewpoint.
from a practical standpoint, it does make sense. sure, you’re gonna have exceptions (older women with long hair, etc), but i think the theory holds up.
if we didn’t have the light skinned issue within our race (probably as a result of during & post slavery conditioning & traumatization) then we’d probably invent some other standard to be prejudiced about.
humans are always looking for some way to include themselves in acceptance and exclude others. what is that? keep ur eyes open and tell me i’m lying. if u feeling me reply with other delineations that seperate by class, race, physicality, mentality etc.
genius khan has left the planet…
The light/dark issue is rooted in class divisions: During slavery, light skin granted you access to house work, less taxing than field work. Later, it helped you get better paying jobs with businesses that felt their white customers would feel safer with a light skinned black. People wanted to “marry up” so they went for those who had already gained entrance into the social status they were striving for. As a result, they sought partners who were lighter than themselves. Light men and women dated each other because they wanted to marry within their social milieu. When someone decided to date/marry outside of these boundaries, it was considered social suicide. As a people, we taken it to another level that goes way beyond class issues.
But we’ve also added new things to the mix: counting people out for lack of formal education. Or discounting them because they didn’t go to the ‘right’ school, or don’t live in the ‘right’ neighborhood.
but were they not able to go to the schools and live in the right neighborhood because of their color? I mean a lot of times the underlying issue is still color since color prevented the person from being able to have the privelage…most issues within or culture and others around the world stem from colonialism/slavery.
Yes. I say the problem is rooted in classicism. It has grown beyond that.
Also, the oppressors worldwide have used first race and then color divisions as a way to mentally conquer and physically divide the oppressed so as to keep the social system – one they grew rich on – in place. Unfortunately, we fell for it.
V.E.G. & Shayd [and anybody else who wants to chime] the questions still remain unadressed directly.
if we [black folk particularly but all folk] didn’t have the light skinned issue within our race then we’d probably invent some other standard to be prejudiced about?
humans are always looking for some way to include themselves in acceptance and exclude others. what is that? keep ur eyes open and tell me i’m lying?
what say ye?
“if we [black folk particularly but all folk] didn’t have the light skinned issue within our race then we’d probably invent some other standard to be prejudiced about?”
Well, in Nigeria, people come in all shades, but MOSTLY, people are dark. So color discrimination is less of an issue than ethnic discrimination, or even
Humans will always find a group stratification system to define one group as superior and the other inferior. If its not color, it could be class. If not class, it could be geographical location…
Luvvie we agree. i wonder why humans are constantly creating superiority, inferiority lines between one another even within their own subgroups and down to the smallest of differences and with the bigest consequences. what is that “universal” motivation?
…and eat some frozen yougurt for me today.
maybe it has to do with the animalistic instinct derived from survival of the fittest. We as humans are dominant among plants and animals, so it fits that among our own breed we would try to find ways to determine the dominant and the weak, it probably use to be based on who collected the most berries and killed the most water buffalo but as we became more and more civilized the things used to determine the superior race were based on more civilized things.
Just a thought no back up or research to support it just throwing out theories…..
GK is on target with this. As evident in the hair discussion from last week, we’ll always create something to put us in certain groups while excluding others.
I used to think my sister was crazy for counting the number of light-skinned women in the club to determine her chances of getting a number, now, after being called “cute for a dark skinned girl” more times than I care to count, i’m not so sure.
Nah she wasn’t crazy, she just has low self esteem. I don’t care how many NBA players and actors are in a room, the outside J will still be working!
“question for vsb: where does “preference” end and “color struckness” begin. for instance, if a dark skinned black guy prefers lighter skinned women, whats the difference between just being more attracted to redbones and being color struck…or is there even a difference?”
why would anyone want to purposely limit their pool of available goodies based on something as trivial as color. picking someone because you think their color looks good on you is just ignorant.
why would anyone prefer light-skin or dark-skin over the other for any justifiable reason? i think it would be more reasonable to say “i prefer wo/men who look like my mother/father” than it is to say “i only like light/dark skinned wo/men.”
I think there is always some underlying reason for someone to have a color, or any other, preference of traits that a person CAN”T CHANGE. And it’s usually third-party perspective.
Well I’m a darkskin guy who generally prefers dark skin women. The only reason I need is cuz the skin looks hot. Not to say I wont workout some delicious looking redbones out there, but generally speaking i’m like a plant attracted to light. Except I’m a dude attracted to dark.
Sometimes I find myself reluctant to go after a super duper lightskinned girl because I don’t want to be accused of being colorstruck. The sterotypical brownskinned or dark skinned dude with his Rae Dawn Chong/Squeak on his arm (what up Harpo? I see you!) Now *that’s* some stuff. It’s basically my fear of the backlash that has been brewing among black people for at least the last 30 – 40 years.
“Sometimes I find myself reluctant to go after a super duper lightskinned girl because I don’t want to be accused of being colorstruck. The sterotypical brownskinned or dark skinned dude with his Rae Dawn Chong/Squeak on his arm (what up Harpo? I see you!) Now *that’s* some stuff. It’s basically my fear of the backlash that has been brewing among black people for at least the last 30 – 40 years.”
honestly, i’ve done the same thing
I call reverse discrimination against you. For shame!
though i’ve never done this, i’ve been accused of only dating light skinned chicks which i find funny considering how every serious girlfriend i had up through college was actually dark. shucks, when folks see the girls i was dating their often surprised that there are dark chicks in the mix. i wonder why that is…
folks projecting their issues on me is my guess. truly, that’s probably a large part of of all this mess…everybody has hangups and refuses to have them alone.
“http://www.ulm.edu/~palmer/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology
here’s a link to that book, as well as a wiki entry.
now, i didnt do my own personal in-depth study of this study, but i will say that this isn’t the first time ive heard this viewpoint.
from a practical standpoint, it does make sense. sure, you’re gonna have exceptions (older women with long hair, etc), but i think the theory holds up.”
Ok, the book was published in 2001 which makes me question the date of the “studies” from which they derived this data. Because it may be one of those “nature vs nurture”, “which came first” arguments about whether men biologically prefer long hair or whether men prefer long hair because it’s been a standard of beauty for some time now.
A few years ago we were reading a play about white women in one of my classes, and the same theory came up then. The male in the play had his choice between two women and he chose the one with the longer hair. One of the reasons was probably because biologically she could produce healthier children. The play was from the early 1900′s. Im sure this theory is not new, and has actually proved itself throughout the existence of humanity.
My personal experience suggests that Light Skinned Points are negated by Natural Hair Points. That is all.
Dorian G. {August 27th, 2008 at 10:32 am}
“Well I’m a darkskin guy who generally prefers dark skin women. The only reason I need is cuz the skin looks hot. Not to say I wont workout some delicious looking redbones out there, but generally speaking i’m like a plant attracted to light. Except I’m a dude attracted to dark.”
Dorian, the fact that you said “generally speaking” and you obviously won’t pass up something nice even if it isn’t full of chocolatey goodness is evidence that your preference is just that, a preference.
I wouldn’t call you colorstruck because you prefer the dark (which is a highly subjective term) skin ladies. I’m saying that epopel who are colorstruck are exclusive in their preferences. As in they “only” date wo/men with light/dark skin and no one else. It’s the same with men who “only” date white or hispanic or asian or native american or indian or eastern european women. It’s not your choice, it’s the exclusivity of the “only” that makes color an issue.
BTW I was thinking along the same lines this morning in the shower, wondering why people call it “race” when what they really mean is color? And why don’t “white” people differentiate amongst themselves? Because they certainly aren’t all the same color/shade/hue either.
umm.. white ppl do discriminate….sort of.. it’s just a bit different… there is a clear preference for girls who can tan as opposed to those who “burn and peel”
in the white community pasty is just not in…and i think ur regarded more like “uncool”
anyway… it’s def. not as obvious or serious as it is in the african-american community…but it’s there.
human beings have a driving need to categorize ppl
“why would anyone want to purposely limit their pool of available goodies based on something as trivial as color. picking someone because you think their color looks good on you is just ignorant.”
It’s simple, NINJA’S BE FRONTIN!!! They just talk all that BS in front of their homeboys. Hell, I do the same thing. I’ll say I prefer my chocolate sisters all day, but that won’t or hasn’t stopped me from s3xing a light skin sister I deem worthy to ride my “bologna pony”
what does WLSG stand for? ___ light skinned girls?
Wise asks:
“what does WLSG stand for?” ___ light skinned girls?
im taking a crack at it cause i don’t have anything better to do.
“white” perhaps like people used to say “light, bright, dam near white.” (…skinned girls and sh*t)
…or perhaps, why?
lol…i wondered who was gonna ask that:
WSLG = wavy light skinned girls
as in…”…and all the wavy light-skinned girls is lovin’ me now…”
there’s a jay line for everything…
“there’s a jay line for everything”
The sad thing is that there really is.
WLSG=wannabe light skinned girls maybe.
yeah P. let’s straighten it out.
“its also an issue to me when a dark skinned brother prefers light skin and vice versa. ”
What about opposites attract?
“What about opposites attract?”
It was a popular song in the 1980′s by a singer named Paula Abdul. She retreated from fame in the 90′s but rose again to popularity as a judge on the show American Idol. The song had a music video inspired by the movie “Who framed Roger Rabbit” in that she interacted live with a cartoon character on screen. The video ended up being parodied beautifully by the popular 2000′s American show “Family Guy”.
Cole….. u stupid… LOL
i think i’ve spent a lot of my writing career discussing race b/c i actually wrote like a 1500 word article on the light loves dark and vice-versa thing.
my general point…its all about the pictures. lol.
well it may be kinda true. In Kenya the darker peeps most often end up with lighter peeps and since we all black the problem manifests itself through tribes. With all the madness we had in January we’re having cultural elders telling people not to marry out and dilute the tribe …………..MahfuFriggin madness I just can’t stand. The worst is that there are some who actually listen.
not like you really need mah comment AT ALL {lol} but I needed 2 respond 2 this fa real! I love this…actually read it all the way thru. I like wat ur saying and I completely agree wit it!!!! But, I must say I love mah brown skin and love it even more in the summer time {lol}! But, I’m completely feeling this and can’t wait 2 read more
well thank you kindly, ma’am. hopefully we make the reading worthwhile…
I think things will change for the better when we all realize that “we” are the “others” we claim to be railing against. By that, I mean that many times we perpetuate a stereotype under the guise that we are just being realistic or pragmatic. “It’s a sad shame that people out there are still so color-struck, but I’ll make my dating/mating/style decisions so these douches won’t bother me or my family.” What kind of bull-ish thinking is that?
IF: you claim you don’t agree or believe this way, you are obligated to speak/act against it when confronted or you are just a part of the problem. Call dem fools out when they say ignant stuff about “good” hair, “good” skin, pretty babies, etc.
We’re all smart enough to know the difference between preference and color struck. And a lot of times these little colorist comments are not even in relation to an object of affection, but to put down another person (for being light OR dark).
So the next time someone pulls a Clayton Bigsby, tell them! If you’re not a Chappelle Show buff, CB was the blind black dude who joined the kkk. And really, when we take away from someone’s achievements or talk this way about our own who’s agenda are you supporting? That’s right – the white devil’s agenda.
Wake up, people. Call out the Claytons of the world and shame them into doing better.
this might be the most militant comment ever made by someone with “lil” in their name
I’m Laughing My A** The F*** Off!! Wow!! Too Funny!!
My ‘struggle’. I’m a relatively light-skinned woman. However, I grew around all white folks…and despite my having physical characteristics that were more ambiguolusly ‘black,” I still didn’t feel attractive enough. I’d complain about my nose being too wide, my butt being too big ect. I held myself to the white man/woman’s standard which caused some self-esteem issues. (I’m pretty sure I already posted something about this).
BTW, my mom told me I was beautiful. But got dang, the second I walked out the door or turned on the television, I got a totally different message. That’s why I identify and appreciate this:
“for the record, you are not attractive if the only person who has called you attractive is your mother and your reflection.” *Golf Clap* I keep trying to tell mofo’s this.
You know…I realized in high school that is was actually easier for me growing up. I mean, there were many women and girls on television who looked like me than there were girls who resembled my browner friends. I had Sandra and Denise Huxtable to look up to. Later, Freddie and Whitley were the girls. Vanessa Williams was making records…my image of myself was reflected back to me and it made it easier to accept my blackness.
It wasn’t until the letter writing campaign after the first season of a Different World (y’all noticed they brought in Kim and axed Millie…) where women complained about all the light skinned women on the show that I realized my friends weren’t getting any mainstream love.
Is that why they brought Kim in? I’ve never heard that.
never heard about the letter writing campaign. Great DW tidbit. Thank you
“I mean, there were many women and girls on television who looked like me than there were girls who resembled my browner friends.”
I feel sorry more for young girls now because when I was growing up, there was more women that resembled me. There was Janet Jackson, Tatyana Ali, Rudy/Vanessa from Cosby Show, Lisa from Saved by the Bell, etc.. There was also more black shows on tv back then than there is now….
“BTW, my mom told me I was beautiful. But got dang, the second I walked out the door or turned on the television, I got a totally different message. That’s why I identify and appreciate this:
“for the record, you are not attractive if the only person who has called you attractive is your mother and your reflection.” *Golf Clap* I keep trying to tell mofo’s this.”
Awww don’t worry, your mother thinks I’m cute too
jk
@VEG – how could you pick out Denise and Sandra without talking about Rudy and Vanessa?? Maybe it’s an age thing – Rudy is literally like a month older than me, so I was always checking for her (and her little white friend Peter-oh goodness when they made the pb&j sammiches!) and Vanessa, who was always stuck with Rudy.
As far as I’m concerned, the main stream media can keep their love. The white folk who control most of what gets seared into our retinas will never be our champions, and diversifying the way Black women are portrayed is somewhere on their priority list after “have Edward Scissorhands give me a prostate exam”.
I was saying Denise and Sandra reflected how I looked. Whereas my friends, who were older than Vanessa, lol, didn’t have many women in the media who looked like them.
Is anyone else hearing that chick from Something New:
Kenya, I don’t know what your problem is girl, but Mark is a catch. And if you don’t know what to do with him, girl, pass him onto me, ’cause I will show you what to do with him. I’ll marry his a*s quick and give him a sh*tload of babies. Black, ashy babies! (lifted from IMDB)
LOL! NO? Just me? hmk
“LOL! NO? Just me? hmk”
lol…did you have your coffee today?
Here’s one place that color issues will always flourish in: Greek Societies. I am a brown skinned AKA, and to be brief but thorough I crossed in a small, majority white college and we were able to provide help for all the colored folk who worked mainly in the dining halls and maintenance but had about a snowball’s chance in hell of going to the school. Our focus was on service, not parties, steppin and frontin. After graduation I began hearing about the not-so-nice side of my organization, quotas, “green eyes and pink lips”, etc. WTF does any of it have to do with our purpose?
Color issues are valid; there was a point when it meant the difference between “comfortable” slavery and the worst that massa had to offer, between freedom and slavery, even between life and death. But it’s 2008, people. Like, literally a new millenium. To hold on to these ideas is like still having cobblestone and dirt roads in the District because at one point in history the horse and buggy was our main form of transportation.
I swear I know you
Do you know as in “soul sib” or know as in “i KNOW you, fool!”
A little of both, but mostly soul sib lol.
so true! Question, did you ever see the documentary about DST and AKA history? Black Sorority Project, I think it was called, I went to the Atlanta screening, it was all so interesting me, a non-Greek, I enjoyed it.
No, but I would be interested to see it. To be perfectly honest, some of the words and behavior I’ve seen from sorors since I graduated makes me almost ashamed to skee-wee.
“To be perfectly honest, some of the words and behavior I’ve seen from sorors since I graduated makes me almost ashamed to skee-wee.”
Wow thats a serious matter.
It IS a serious matter, but my interaction with other greeks (both black and white) lets me know it’s everyone’s issue, not just the AKA’s. My examples:
- my cuz, who is a light-skinned DST, gets asked by a lot of AKA’s at her school (she’s a teacher, these are her co-workers) why she didn’t go AKA. Then they rub their face/arm/whatever.
- I actually had to hear some AKA say, “I was born to be an AKA because I have green eyes and pink lips!” I. di. ot.
- “You didn’t know, EVERY chapter has a dark skin quota. Thank God you’re pretty enough to make that cut.” Really? Nothing to do with service, huh?
-my white friend joined KKG and became president, and their only real concern was how pretty, rich and thin the girl was. My friend felt this was ok because if they let in those ugly smart girls the whole chapter would go down in flames. She’s not my friend anymore.
Now, what this taught me is not that all Greek orgs are evil, but that the size of the school and the org has a lot more to do with it. My school was small, the work to be done was large and we black folk just didn’t have time for the nonsense.
I was waiting to read someone bring this up. I witnessed all the stereotypes, but never was really interested enough to do the research on it.
You know, maybe it’s because I grew up around mostly white folks, but skin color wasn’t really an issue to/for me til about high school…and then, it was ninjas who made a big deal about it. I mean, I never thought about my color one way or another…I’m brown, honey/caramel colored, so it was what it was. My fam ranges from dark chocolate to white. But then my attention got called to “color” issues when I saw black dudes flocking to the lite-brites or even the (lower classed) white girls. I’d see swamp-donkies be called cute, even though they were hecka ugly…both facially and attitude. Then I got to college, joined a sorority, and had to listen to the various stereotypes…which was even more bs. Ninjas would be all, you look like a XYZ…which made me laugh/boil at the same time.
Me personally, color isn’t a huge deal to me…I like my skin tone, and that’s all that matters. I happen to have a preference for the chocolate brothas…but a cute light-skinned dude could holla too!
What sorority did you join? You make it sound like that changed your outlook on the color struck thing.
After reading this and Lil T’s response above I’m starting to wonder if most chapters for sororities make a big deal out of color. I’ve never seen it personally but damn.
“After reading this and Lil T’s response above I’m starting to wonder if most chapters for sororities make a big deal out of color. I’ve never seen it personally but damn.”
me too
actually, no, joining the sorority didn’t change my outlook…it was high school with the YTs, and then going to a black college. big difference. i am a zeta, btw, and so being told i didn’t “look” like a zeta was ridiculous. this wasn’t by my sorors…but more so by my fraters and people in other orgs.
I really hate the term fraters. I swear only Zetas say that too. Where did you come in? Because in the northeast Zetas are generally across the board, from white to light to african to latina.
You would think with all these brothers after these lite-brite/octaroons/latinas/Pinays, the dark skinnded sistas would be happy to get some holleration. Begging even!
I would dream of pulling up on a Buffie the Body/Roshumba/Alek Wek, and hit em with that Nostrand Ave Game, and be knee deep in a chocolate women oasis. Easily talking to sistas from Haiti, Naija, Ghana, Alabama and Mississippi. Will it be Wollof or Cornbread tonight? She talking about a back rub with cocoabutter or palm oil…
You know, a black man’s heaven.
(real talk, i’ll prolly head down to N. Brazil and scoop up them extra dark Brazilians that get no love. I’ll put some coconut oil on that bunda)
No, nope, nuh uh.
These “feminists” have the nerve to have standards.
1) He gotta have teeth
2) He need his own bus pass
3) He at least gotta be 4’10″
4) Can’t be homeless
5) I done gave up them narcotics
So on and so forth.
Whatever happened to beggars can’t be choosers?
I got so much love to split amongst a good a 15-20 of y’all (with cute faces, nice racks, and banging backends…and if you gotta degree…good for you)
WestIndian “very underloved” Archie.
octoroons
I haven’t heard this in the longest…lol
this was actually a corner worthy comment. good job
“I done gave up them narcotics” – why do I hear Lawrence Fishburne saying this?
What’s Love Got to Do With It. Whew, that was bothering me.
Yes He Can!
“After graduation I began hearing about the not-so-nice side of my organization, quotas, “green eyes and pink lips”, etc. WTF does any of it have to do with our purpose? ”
AKA’s – is that the sorority that’s infamous for the “brown bag test”?
ALLLLL Sororities had the paper bag test. Almost any black person you saw in college in the early 1900′s had to pass that dang test. Why do you think the little-uns got mad at Yung Berg when he made those stupid “pool test” comments? We thru with tests, shawty!
they did…so if you look at the founders of most of the orgs, you don’t see anybody darker than say, honey colored lol.
Word. Personally, being brown affords me the privelage of not having to hear most of that ish. CB’s can just mutter under their breath after I’ve passed by.
**Side note – Can y’all tell I want the CB tag to catch on? Ima just keep repeating it….**** lol.
um excuse me.. i know u love ur org and all but it was def. AKA that had the paper bag test… go read it up
“AKA’s – is that the sorority that’s infamous for the “brown bag test”?”
The thing that many ppl don’t seem to recognize is that the majority of blks in college at the time were fairer skinned. This arose due to the freedoms and privileges granted to mulattoes in various areas at the time… so the majority of those orgs were in a lightskinned headlock. The paperbag test is, IMO, a bit overblown (not to say it didnt happen)…. whomever decides to leave and create their own will always have a strong excuse for what they did and why they will be better.
*update…i took too long to write this and the poster above me stole my thunder. i cosign lol
- http://www.mrswagger.com
“update…i took too long to write this and the poster above me stole my thunder. i cosign lol”
better late than leather
I’m just glad I didn’t grow up in India where there’s “intra-race reverse affirmative action” and classism way worse than over here. Great job Panama letting everyone know that the pink elephant just made a stink in their potato salad and no it ain’t that side of chitterlings n hog maws w/ hot sauce n dressing……**drooling and day dreaming about thanks giving** BTW was Chuck Norris out there in Cali w/ you cuz this weeks posts have been quite strong. N.E. ways good job n shyit !)
i am a light skinned woman and am one of those who are trying to reconcile my awareness of the ‘ light and bright’ points i get while navigating the already treacherous dating terrain. I am very proud of who i am and i believe that i am an attractive woman, but i do not believe that this is due to my skin tone.
I honestly try to see where a dude is coming from when he is tryna holla at me, i go as far as to see if he has dated mostly other light skinned women, which isnt really that hard in my small c’bbean island. I also have long hair, dimples and a big butt and this also compounds the issue.
my background checks sound like a lot of work but i really don’t want to be anyone’s trophy. I know that i have so much more to offer than the genetic lottery that is my skin tone.
I think it’s all messed up. I’m on the darker end of the spectrum, while my best friend is high yella. I used to be really insecure about my color, as I’m the darkest of my siblings, but I’m pretty much over that now. As much as I can be, since I assume I prolly still have some underlying issues with that, like most black folk.
My best friend used to say she wouldn’t date a light-skinned dude because she would want to have light-skinned kids and have them go through all the hate from other black people that she had to go through simply because she was light-skint.
That is what first made me aware of the light-skint plight.
But, when you think about the bigger picture as far as media, in many black movies and TV shows, the light-skinned one is the star of the group, or the leading lady. Not all shows, but most of ‘em.
I believe both dark/light skinned people especially women go through a lot because of their tones. I am from the south and I am a darkie. However I happen to be thin, long hair (now natural), with as they say white features. Its redamdiculous that I get attention when I walk into a room because of my dark skinned. I mean you would think that cute darkies were extinct or something. Ive dated men that have only dated lite, brite and dam near whites and they act like they are mesmorized with me when the clothes come off like im a different species or something! Its effin hilarious! Its like we (cute darkies) come from another planet or sum sh*t. Beats me. I do have dark friends that have had serious issues growing up! One of my girls made a comment about Snoop’s daughter sayin she wasn’t cute and I was like are you serious? I thawt she was adorable with her little round face and fat cheeks (jus wanna pinch’em)! But then again this is the same girl that only dates light men cuz she don’t want her babies to be too dark, which I find sooo ignant! I also have another ignant friend that had the nerve to make a comment when we were in college that she doesn’t date light men because they smell funny (she is caramel)! I fell the f*ck out. Was she serious? She was sooo serious but she didn’t know no betta, bless her heart! Needless to say we don’t agree on much. Our debates get heated.
I am doing the Jesus Church Dance that I have never been called “pretty for a dark-skinned girl”.
Oooh lawd, talk about somebody getting cursed out!!
This post in right on time. I just moved to Houston from the east coat as a darkie and it tough out here..lmao
I mean like they guys aren’t checking for dark women out here all that much. I am a pretty dark toned female and i have gotten my fair share of “you cute for a dark skinned girl” etc. but damn….its different out here. People seem to look at me like I’m an alien. Like I can’t be pretty AND dark…wtf
sidebar: I had no family color issues at all…all the negative comments I received about my skin color were from my peers…
It is hugely coincidental that you made this comment, because I have never in my life gotten the “for a dark-skinned girl” comment and I am a native Houstonian.
My guess is that you have been accosted by the Katrinians.
Growing up in grade school, I have had my hair pulled, yanked, I was spit on, teased, called an oreo, called coco butter (never got that one)etc….and Im really not that light…Im more of a caramel color and although my mother may LOOK “white” she is czech and west indian and my father is Black. At one point my sister and our friends created a social click entitled the “Light Skinned Mafia” not because we thought we were better but because we loved who we were regardless of what others felt….and we all had been through it.
I can however recall being on edge around everyone BUT my fellow light skinned peers up till high school where I became best friends with a Nigerian girl who was dark skinned and what I have realized is that she was just as weary of light skinned females as I was of dark skinned females. She is beautiful, and over the years we BOTH have pulled our fair share of men. Men love beautiful women, be it Light Skin, Dark Skin, White, Asian, or Latina. The only men who get caught up on Light Women or White Women due to their color and hair texture are the ones who simply need a hug. I believe that you should date whom ever you want just do it because you like their character or you are attracted to them……and I realize that everyone has their preferences….I know I do……I love a tall handsome caramel brotha that is built and has a beautiful smile but please believe that I find Reggie Bush to be extremely attractive and would sink my hmmm (caught up in a fantasy)…….he is far more attractive then fuckit…….Jay Z.
The sad part of all of this is that it is MEN who keep the fire brewing. I have witnessed some of the ones that do need a hug state that they do want their children to have “pretty” hair or that they want their children to have light eyes.
Sometimes I think that the ones who need hugs the most dont even go for lite skinned girls these days anyway…..being light skinned in 2008 just aint good enough….you got 2 be white or other……….peep the videos again homie. But Im not even mad. I dont want to be a video ho nor do I desire to be with someone who likes me because of my complexion and hair texture.
however…….light skinned boys did NOT go out of style in the 90′s.
I’ve been lerking around this site but never posted, its a good thing that I sit by myself cause i stay LOL at the post/blogs on this site!!
Anywho, I am light-skinned, pretty, with long thou the ‘triple threat’ ends up backfiring most of the time, when I go to work (in corporte america) I’m still the black pretty girl, but can’t be smart enough to do/help with the really impt projects, and when I’m in the club, guys don’t approach me cause I’m so pretty I must have a man already!! WTF??? definitely a double edge sword
btw, me luvs this site!! keep it up
I hear ya. To tweak the story even further, my biological sisters and I are light skinned. We had a German friend visiting us for a month and I must say, she is very sweet but rather unattractive. We all went dancing at the local hotspot in Harlem. I go just because my sister wants me to go with – because I’m not interested in men in that way. Anyway, whenever we go out, we get loads of dance partners. Surprise, surprise. We got pushed and shoved and almost knocked on the floor as the crowd rushed to ask her to dance. Honestly, it was fine because she deserved a good time. But, it took a while for us to get over our shock as we stood against the wall with no dance partners. The morale of the story is….all colonized people think that white and what is closest to white is the best thing going – unless they have worked on pervading social/political and everything else influences.
I’m a bit too tired to read all of these comments, but I did read the majority of them. I am a lightskinned man with hair that is sandy blonde/brown. (Think Barack, except hair the color of his skin instead of black). And no, I am not mixed.
Anyway, I firstly don’t understand quite why ugly lightskinned people that get play are hated on so much. As if all kinds of ugly people don’t get play. I realize that a disparity may exist because of differences in skin tones (and what people may see as ‘attractive’, but if we’re going to hate on ugly people that get play, let us not just hate on lightskinned ugly ones. Furthermore, I don’t think there are any more ugly lightskinned people than there are any other skin tone.
Or to put it better, since no one can control what skin tone they are when they’re born (and I would never advocate skin bleaching….. see Jamaicans) lets not hate on them. Instead, lets hate on the people that *give* the ugly people play, whether they’re lightskin or not. I know quite a few people whose standards are about as low as the notes on my 7 string guitar, but I guess mud ducks need love too.
I think skin tone is overrated. Beautiful is beautiful and fugly is fugly
I think skin tone is overrated. Beautiful is beautiful and fugly is fugly, NO MATTER HOW YOU CUT IT. I am a beautiful brown skinned young lady, and can attest to being passed over because I was not “light enough”. However, I can also attest to the “you’re pretty for a brown skinned girl” phenomena. My only response is, “Men, please grow the freak up and hug yourself”.