whenever we bring up a topic dealing with red flags, deal-breakers, and other undesirable relationship qualities, the utter disdain for clinginess is repeatedly brought up…easily the muse for at least 300 comments. seemingly on par with serial infidelity, anti-intellectuallism, and crackheadedness, the general public sentiment behind the idea of “a clingy person” apparently ranks somewhere between “star jones” and “david koresh” with pretty much every vsb regular. well, every vsb regular…except me.
now obviously, being with a clingon wouldn’t be my optimum choice. although i’m not a space nazi, i do appreciate some alone time for writing, metacognition, “pastor racing“, kool-aid procuring, and other leisurely independant activities. but, if i were forced to choose between polar opposites “clingy” and “cold“, “cold” would get dropped quicker than siohvaughn wade. personally, i’d much rather be bombarded with attention than be in a romantic relationship devoid of it.
again, i’m not saying that it can definitely be annoying, but i can live with it. there are worse qualities a person can have (ie: “thimbleheadedness” and “being puerto rican”).
the clingy conundrum has made me think of other personal attributes and behaviors that are common red flags and/or deal-breakers for many people…but really don’t bother me much at all. deal-breakers for most everyone else, but “ehhh…its cool. its no big deal” for me.
for the sake of the entry, and in honor of my favorite flavor of kool-aid (which noone else seems to like), lets call these wild cherry flags
nassatalls
although i’ll forever remain excitedly intrigued by the presence of a philly with a exquisite booty depth and a perfect ass-to-waist ratio, its not a prerequisite. in fact, my ex-fiancee was about nassatall as one can get. i’d even joke with her that she had an “extended back”.
again, though. let me make this very clear. i’m NOT saying that i’m not an assfan, lol. sh*t, if i could, i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts. i’m just saying that i could live happily without it.
a political conservative
…as long as she votes for obama nov. 4th, i could care less how she feels the other 364 days of the year, lol
a virgin
of course, if women were on sale at giant eagle, i wouldnt intentionally go shopping in the virgin aisle…but if one happened to fall into my shopping cart, i wouldn’t be headed back there a day later, reciept in hand, screaming at the store manager for selling me defective goods. i’d definitely wait at least a week before doing that.
thats its for me right now.
friends, fans, serial fellators, funders, and followers of vsb.com, what are some of your wild cherry flags?
—the champ
***btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19***
Related posts:
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, well, hello Luvvie,
That’s right, I’ve been here waiting for you. Wow, I can hear your pulse racing from across the room. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of space here. It’s bed time, why don’t you just relax, slip into something comfortable, and post yourself right up under me. Yeah, just like that. . .
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:16 am
*Shaking fist at Kamakula*
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puff Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:18 am
bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaa k, this just made my night perfect. i can now go drink in peace.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:25 am
Kamakula, I’m flattered that you were waiting for me. Did you bring me something? I know your nights ain’t right without me on top or below you. Your week must have been lonely with me missing. All is well now. I am here.
But Monday, we BEGIN again! I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to a DUEL (of 1st post).
NOW, to bed I go.
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kamakula Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:15 am
Luvvie, you know I always come prepared for your attentions. You should already know there’s no need to demand satisfaction, I think we both know how these things always turn out
I’ll admit, while I do enjoy having your on top, what’s more fun is the tussling as we jockey for that position.
Bring it
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:12 am
get a room and sh*t
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:38 am
It’s already been broughten! And Champ, is your toast late being delivered?
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:09 am
” I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to a DUEL (of 1st post).”
The Simpsons? You just made me LOL. For real!!
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:39 am
And YES! Simpsons rocks!
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:48 am
LMAO
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J. McFly Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:05 am
Ummm…..yeah ok
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:49 am
I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.
I finally got it
I guess this is what happens when I don’t lick the Champs toast before I get here.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:55 am
I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.
yeah…it did seem like some of the lines that could be in “zack and miri…”
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:57 am
“I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production. ”
I’m still not convinced. I wonder if they need a producer?
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kamakula Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Well, the first raw video has already been shot and the talent being who it is, there is PLENTY of raw footage from almost every angle you can imagine, and a few you probably cannot.
So, if you want to be involved on the cutting room floor, let me know.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Oh My
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Kama, I thought we weren’t gonna tell folks yet. We were sposed to announce the Luvvie-Kamakula tape in an extreme media blitz.
And a soundtrack with Diddy (can’t stop, won’t stop), T-pain, and Rihanna. Yes, we got soundtrack.
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Pick me, pick me!!! My “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” is definitely top notch
kamakula Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I’m liking the P Diddy song choice
.
I wouldn’t worry, any Luvvie-Kamakula extravaganza will always be an extreme media event.
pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:42 pm
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
i just read this. Hilarious!
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
bom chicka wah wah is sooooooooo 90’s p*rn. nowadays the soundtrack is the male “stars” rapping
Champ, you are a bitter enabler! How many chances are you gonna give VSBers to list the INFINITE, tome-length list of “flags? Mofos gon come up here talking nonsense like:
“You know what I hate? Them people that have the AUDACITY to have asthma and breath. Who they think they is? Shoot, all sick and stuff. The NERVE!”
and
“I can’t STAND mofos who like Thai food. I mean, why can’t they just be satisfied with a Big Mac? International food lovers are a no-no.”
Champ, you’ve opened floodgates that will require an ark from Noah to survive. This will be GREAT for me b/c there will be no shortage of things to snark at.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:31 am
Oh, and you know them mofos with atoms that collide?? They piss me off too!!
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:16 am
bwahahahahahahahahahah!
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 7:35 am
I’ve truly missed Luvvie around here…
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:02 am
You and your liliputian fists are funny as shyt, Luvvie. Glad to see you back.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:07 am
“liliputian fists ”
*CTFU*
All this talk of Luvvie’s tiny fists, I really feel like I need a picture.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:13 am
You and your liliputian fists are funny as shyt, Luvvie. Glad to see you back.
lol…why do i imagine a regular sized person with fists the size of a kitten’s paws?
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:16 am
Luvvie isn’t “regular sized”, Mr. Champs. She’s of the “Petite Persuasion” (as am I). We have small fists/ears/feet, etc! It’s developmentally appropriate. Leave Luvvie alone!
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:45 am
Thank you, PBG!!!!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:40 am
I will join the petite persuasion bandwagon. I don’t need another guy telling me how little and cute my feet/ears/hands are d@mn it…I get it and sh!t.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:41 am
I actually think your hands and feet are normal sized. I need to see them again. lol.
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:47 am
V, thats is because you hav freakishly tiny feet urself. Of course you don’t think my hands are small.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:52 am
when Luvvie sends in her VSB shirt pic she should profile the fists.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:58 am
I concur.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:38 am
“lol…why do i imagine a regular sized person with fists the size of a kitten’s paws?”
i was eating a Cheese Danish when i read that and literally almost choked. our office secretary came into my office to see what happened. lol.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am
did she try to perfrom the heimlich, cause that wouldve been real funny
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:15 am
no, by that time, i just had tears rolling down my face and was speaking so she opted to not call 911…
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:20 pm
that just reminded me of that lawrence welk show skit on SNL…did you see this? http://www.hulu.com/watch/37752/saturday-night-live-the-lawrence-welk-show
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:53 am
And Lil T, I dig you for using the word “lilliputian”
Devilishly Alise* Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:34 am
or someone will say: “I hate people that roll their r’s but you know it aint no deal brrrreakerrrrrr and shyt, I’m just sayin yo..”
ok, enough of me falling into the luvvie snark snare, i will not allow your sarcastic energy to enter my world…..until the morning…
* I am a devil for Halloween
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tHE cHIMP Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:48 am
i’M NOT SO SURE WHAT TO BE FOR hALLOWEEN. i AM HOWEVER PLANNING TO GO TO A MASQUERRRRADE, AND THE pHILLIES PARRRRADE.
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
is your a$$ out there yelling like a drunken moron? i can’t hear myself think… then again, I ain’t doin no work… except hanging PHILLIES BANNERS OUT THE WINDOW!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*can anyone tell i’ve already had a guiness with my boss this morning?*
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:47 am
Am I the only one that’s mad at this person for typing in all caps?? Getcho big e-yeller face…
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:19 am
Champ, you’ve opened floodgates that will require an ark from Noah to survive. This will be GREAT for me b/c there will be no shortage of things to snark at.
you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
its not her fault. its her nature.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:44 am
“you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
Shayd, please look down at some of the responses, and you will see that my concern is valid. I will snark away. :-p
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:57 am
“You know what I hate? Them people that have the AUDACITY to have asthma and breath. Who they think they is? Shoot, all sick and stuff. The NERVE!”
and
“I can’t STAND mofos who like Thai food. I mean, why can’t they just be satisfied with a Big Mac? International food lovers are a no-no.”
lmao and this person would NOT date me–i have asthma (where’s my inhaler??) AND i had thai food just last night. d@mn haters!
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I happen to LOVE wild cherry Kool-Aid. As a matter of fact, all Kool-Aid is heavenly w/lemon juice added.
I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:50 am
I happen to LOVE wild cherry Kool-Aid. As a matter of fact, all Kool-Aid is heavenly w/lemon juice added.
Yeah PBG it is.. and so is Black Cherry…another one that doesnt get credit he deserves.
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Monk Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:09 am
Wild Cherry kool-aid is alright as long as it’s in a cup or picture and not a chick’s hair.
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Monk Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:21 am
“picture” was suppose to read “pitcher”.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:04 am
Ooo, Black Cherry Kool-aid takes me back. Love that stuff. I try to do the grown-up version of the laid now – off-brand crystal light. *sniff* I miss my k-laid, I do……
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J. McFly Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:08 am
Don’t turn your back on it and get Crystal light, go get you some real Kool Aid
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
“I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.”
***number 1***
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:23 am
Get that boney azz “Number 1″ outta here, Mr.Champs! I’m checkin’ for all 8’s n’ shyt.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:33 am
I think your over/under might work today…lol
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
Oh I get it (now that I see the other numbers down the thread).
Whatever, Mr.Champs. I don’t have any WCFs. I’m 35…I did all my settling in my 20’s. Game over, son!
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tHE cHIMP Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:55 am
i TEND TO GET LEFT OUT WHEN i SAY i LIKE ORANGE KOOL AID. tRUE STORY 1 TIME i WENT TO GHETTO BURGER AND HAD THE HI-C. i CAME UP OFF THAT STRAW AND SAID ‘OOOOOH THAT’S THAT THANG.’
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am
let me guess who this is?? hmmmm
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am
Orange is gay, son.
Not that there’s anything wrong w/that.
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sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
AND NOT LIKEING PEANUT BUTTER MEANS YOU DON’T LIKE PEANUS NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG W/ THAT.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Cuz I (fake) don’t like you means I don’t like peanus.
OK, I see you, Mr.Alpha & Omega.
Oh. darn.
Whatever. Was.
I. Thinking?
Of course you’re e-charming n’ shyt, w/your daily name changes and spelling errors that make random elementary schools all over America spontaneously combust.
I must e-have you. I must.
V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
i TEND TO GET LEFT OUT WHEN
Do you also get left out for typing in all caps??
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:18 am
dayum.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:25 pm
oOH DID i USE ALL CAPS. cHECK AND READ EVEN WHAT YOU COPPIED N PASTED.
*WAVING BYE BYE*
sEE YOU WHEN YOU GET OUT THE BURN UNIT
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:17 am
I’m sure you like orange soda too, huh?
::snicker::
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sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:21 pm
iF THERE’S NO NONCARBONATED OPTION YES i HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO PARTAKE R U READY TO TANGERAY?
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:20 am
leave wu alone y’all you know hes extra VSB
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:31 am
I know, but it’s just so dayum fun.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
tHANKS BABY BUT i GOT THIS. tHIS IS BLOOD FOR BLOOD AND BY THE GALLONS. tHIS IS THE OLD DAYS THE ALL OR NOTHIN DAYS AND i’M READY FOR WAR.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:31 am
You are not alone. Orange kool-aid is my second favorite flavor after the deceased Purplesaurus Rex.
You know Ocho Pan is always down for her Wu-boo.
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tHE cHIMP Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:39 pm
wHAT ABOUT BLUE RASPBERRY SLUSHIES @ THE MOVIES?
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Always a yummy choice. Much like myself.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:25 pm
aWWWE YEAH!!
BigBuck Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
“I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.”
Sounds like you need some BigBuck in your life! It’s too bad you are on the petite team. BigBuck only deals with size 14 and up, and he also speaks in third person at times to sound cool and sh!t. I don’t think it works though.
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sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:22 pm
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:28 pm
“you need some BigBuck in your life!”
I think this is Tshirt worthy,
I would wear it for Big Buck
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:09 pm
“I would wear it for Big Buck”
from what i know, thats not all you’d wear for bigbuck
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:37 pm
My petite only means “short”. I’m a size 8/10. Size 14 on a 4′11″ frame=diabetes/stroke/heart disease. Or so says DoctorLady. Plus, it ain’t cute.
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:42 pm
me likes you Big Buck… you make me smile.
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who doesn’t like wild cherry kool-aid, that’s like the first flavor ever made, ain’t it? wild cherry and blue houdini were my favorites as a growing girl in mccandless twp.
anyway, i have a few wild cherry flags:
1. height deficiency- i’m a shorty, so technically i don’t ‘need’ all that height.
2. crooked teeth- as long as he brushes and goes to the dentist.
3. no college degree (as long as he reads and enjoys learning new things)
4. corny humor/behavior…i can be corny too so that could work. as long as he doesn’t call me schmoopie or s3xual chocolate in public, we’re cool.
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
that’s all i have for now…back to work.
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:34 am
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
Oh no it hasn’t, Sis. Patterson. No it hasn’t.
***glitter***
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:51 am
no college degree (as long as he reads and enjoys learning new things)
yeah this doesnt bother me either… I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:59 am
“I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees”
At one point in time, I thought that this just was not possible. Then…I went back to school last year.
Lawd Jesus…save the chirren.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:02 am
“I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees”
I work with about 150 of them.
This is truth.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:39 am
shucks, i know dumb ninjas with phd’s.
though most of their dumbness falls in the way of common sense. i think that if you go to college, there should be a class in common sense.
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gUATAMALA sMITH Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:01 am
yOU KNOW SOMETIMES THERE ARE SOME HOOD ONES TOO. mAKES ME GO HMMM.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:21 am
I’m going to punch you in your eye
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
And I think I’ll jab him the throat.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
i ALMOST WANT TO SEE THE LITTLE FIST GIVE IT A SHOT. i AM TRAINED IN SHIELD & SPEAR.
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:32 am
2. crooked teeth- as long as he brushes and goes to the dentist.
I also co sign this..as long as they are not yellowed, missing, or decayed…
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:05 am
“5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*”
Definitely one of my wild cherry flags…lol
*Team Chunk Represent*
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:30 am
Team Chunk Representin’!!!
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:32 am
yea-ee-yeah!
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am
heyyyyy….
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gUATAMALA sMITH Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:06 am
oKAY REAL TALK i HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A PETTITE FRIEND THAT GOT SMOTHERED AND SHE IS AN ATHSMATIC. sHE HAD TO START SCREAMING BITING KICKING AND PUNCHING TO GET OLE DUDE TO WAKE UP AND ROLE OVER. SMH
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:15 am
That sounds more like morbidly obese, than “more to love”…lol
Hope your friend is okay.
gUATAMALA sMITH Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
oH SHE MADE IT OUT AIGHT. gOOD THING CUZ SHE GOT A LIL GIIRL TOO.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:36 am
representin’ hard with my tipsy at 11:40 in the AM a$$….
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am
“4. corny humor/behavior…i can be corny too so that could work. ”
word? really? you can be corny too? who would have thunk it
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miss patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm
this coming from the guy who tells the same 5 jokes everyday…
Here, i’ll put it in terms you can understand…
VSB: where the champ is predictable
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
*shots fired*
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:12 pm
its the same 6 jokes, thank you.
get it right doodoohead
Luvtheshoes Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:05 am
1. height deficiency- i’m a shorty, so technically i don’t ‘need’ all that height.
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
I love me some teddy bear dudes. And short guys are definitely not a deal breaker for me…sometimes they are the ones that work harder for it.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:40 am
“And short guys are definitely not a deal breaker for me…sometimes they are the ones that work harder for it.”
or have napoleon complexes…there’s usually no middle ground.
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:01 am
“or have napoleon complexes…there’s usually no middle ground.”
Sad but true.
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
a friend of mine used to say why is it that when a short guy is arrogant he’s accused of having a “napoleon complex”, but when it’s a tall guy, he’s just an a$$hole? …lol
Luvtheshoes Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Alas that’s the other side of coin. You’re right…there really is no middle ground.
my wild cherry flags include:
1. music taste. i recognise that not everybody gets down with hip hop/soul/the occasional amazing electronica dj like i do. my last/current lover’n'friend listens almost exclusively to headbanging metal. which is cool, it’s kinda hot to have $ex to…. i heard.
2. occasional ashiness. now if a fool stays on that ashy larry tip, he’ll barely make it to a handshake, let alone a relationship. but i understand – maybe you ran out of jergens due to pastor racing. maybe the coldness in the d is messing with your skin situation. it’s aii, just let me teach you the wonders of – um – body oil.
3. non-appreciation of some aspects of african cuisine i.e. goat meat, guinea fowl, and chilli (to a certain extent). i understand not everyone likes the sensation of having their tongue on fire. sadly, it also means you might get to miss out on the best food of all time prepared by yours truly.
i’ll get back at this later.
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:36 am
lmao @ “occasional ashiness”. I keep some lotion in my purse and don’t mind sharing cuz I tend to be a bit ashy myself. Especially my hands, which I wash at least 25 times a day!
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:08 am
Too funny! I have to throw lotion on my man before he leaves the house, else he’ll do the Ashy Larry all day long. I think somewhere in his psyche he equates ashiness with manliness….fool. Gotta love him, though.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:13 am
ugh…i had an ex like this regarding lip gloss (chapstick for the fellas). d@mn it stop licking your lips and making it worse and take this f^cking chapstick, or hey baby let me give you a kiss…
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:04 am
i keep lotion on hand as well. i promote moisturized skin at all times.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:18 pm
i keep lotion on hand as well
hate to break this to you gemmy baby, but that aint lotion
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:45 am
music taste, that’s a good one puff. i went out with a guy who liked that customer song by raheem devaughn and gurrrrrrl…i cracked the fcuk up, (sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.) but his music taste, was not a deal breaker. but panama? he might cut a ninja for playing that mess! ain’t that right, brotha arsonist?
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:52 am
sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.)
yeah that shyt was ridiculous… and so is s.e.x message.. WTF?
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:07 am
I’m really gonna need ya’ll to lay off the homie Raheem. Please and thank you.
Although, “Customer” was a song I really could’ve done without.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:11 am
Raheem gets a cherry flag for that one. It’s not right, but it’s ok.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:01 am
Raheem is good, but “Customer” was that bullish.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:46 am
sorry PBG but i don’t actually understand Raheem’s appeal. his albums are largely ungood. he has a good voice but whoopty damn do. “woman” was WAAAAAY overrated. that song got so many “positive music” points that folks didn’t take the time to realize that there wasnt really anything special about that song. he just said “i appreciate women” and chicks swooned.
sad when that’s all it takes. thats like people thinking alicia keys is the most talented chick out there…she gets lightskint AND positive-by-not-being-negative points.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:52 am
That’s ok, PeeJay. You don’t have to understand. I have bad taste, remember?And I didn’t particularly love that “Woman” song either. But I’m a fan, for sure.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:29 am
That song makes me want to throw midgets from moving trains.
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:50 pm
You do that too? I thought i was the only one….
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:44 am
amazingly, i didn’t wretch at that song. you see, despite my music snobbery, i also have a deep appreciation for ignorantly entertaining music. in fact, i’ve come to appreciate nearly all music. lol…i just know the difference between GOOD music and music i can APPRECIATE.
raheem devaughn’s “customer” and “s.e.x. message”…i can appreciate them, but they are not good.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:22 am
a “friend” has joked that in the mornings, the only parts i lotion are the visible ones (hands, arm, neck). she said i was subliminally ashy. although “subliminal” doesnt really work there, it still was funny
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:31 am
You’ll be caught by the Moisture Police soon enough, Champ. We slather the floor with lotion and by the time you slip and slide through it you’re properly lotioned. It’s like trapping an animal. A very ashy animal.
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:34 am
lol @ A very ashy animal.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:56 am
ROTFLMAO!!!!
“We slather the floor with lotion and by the time you slip and slide through it you’re properly lotioned. It’s like trapping an animal. A very ashy animal.”
imagining the Champ writhing in your lotion trap
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:07 am
hahahahaha this visual of Champ being forced into moisture is awesome
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
Aw damn. I just realized that he’s gonna have a field day w/ the phrase “forced into moisture”
*waiting for champ*
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:47 am
***pulling up a chair next to Luvvie***
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:02 am
***sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to pull the chairs from underneath them***
V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
***sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to pull the chairs from underneath them***
This should read “sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to cop a feel.”
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:22 am
@ V Renee cause you know that is exactly what happened, it would be s3xual harrassment if it were unwanted…
The Queen Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I never understood why people do this. By this I mean lotion only the visible parts. Do you want to look like jabba the hut by age 60? Just take 5 minutes and lotion people. Your skin will thank you.
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Honey Child Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I was gonna put ashy on my wild cherry kool-aid list!! I only care about the parts that are showing…
Other ‘wild cherries’ include
1.kids w/ more than one BM- depending on how it’s handled and if they’re all civil it can be OK
2.Crappy car-As long as you aren’t asking me for rides…..When you wnat to front-rent one.
3. Going to the ti**y bar- Go on and go! Ain’t taking nothing away from me cuz my pole skillz are quite shaky. lol
Will be back…
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
thanks for contributing, honey
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LOL at Giant Eagle. Brings me back to ‘02…but thats another story.
So yea, wild cherry flags:
* Guys under 6 ft. I mean, I wear heels alot when I go out (usually around 4-5 inches), so I like a man to still be taller than me, and not the other way around). However, it’s not totally a dealbreaker since I’ve dated guys under 5′ 10″ before…
*Crooked Teeth…they don’t have to be perfect, but if you’re teeth look worse than Austin Powers from the first movie (i.e. yellow, and looking, as my brother would say, like they’re throwing up gang signs), then its a no-go. Seriously, I had braces, you can get em too…
*Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.
*Crap rap listener. Like if Gucci Man and Jim Jones are your favorite rappers, then chances are, I will NOT be vibing with you at all on your music choices (or want you to make me any cd’s for the car). However, I can’t say its a total dealbreaker since I dated a guy like this.
*Athlete. I used to date them, because I used to be an athlete, and I’m obsessed with the gym (I hate lazy guys…I enjoy having workout buddies as well). I now realize I hate their hoe-dom and their arrogance. But if you can hide the fact that you are an athlete from me (don’t as me how, but some people have managed to do so), then so be it. Just expect me to find out through 411 digging and kick your @ss after the fact.
Um, I don’t think I have any more. My standards are rising due to the sheer volume of crap I seem to gravitate to/attract. But that’s another story.
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aja Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:11 am
I am SO with you on the first three points.
Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
along with:
- a”sensitive” man,
- an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
(he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
-a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
-a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..
i have more but its like 1am and i need sleep..
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:32 am
I am SO with you on the first three points.
Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
along with:
- a”sensitive” man,
- an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
(he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
-a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
-a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..
***number 2***
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
***number 2***
like a muhf*cker.
NAmAdUw Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:28 am
fLUG YEAH
J. McFly Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:13 am
Sad part is he was probably taller than you but because you heel game is crazy, he always looked short.
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chaoticdiva Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:28 am
Love it! And yes, I realize that I own over 50 pairs of shoes.
But don’t get me wrong…I’m already 5′ 5″ (and 1/2)…so in heels at 5′ 10″ I’m taller than a few of the guys I’ve been out with recently.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:39 am
Same here. I’m a wee bit taller than 5′5″ but because of my shoes I’m pushing 5′9, 5′10″, seeing eye to eye with average height dudes.
Over 50 pair? Welcome to the ShoeWhore club of which I am president and Luvvie VP.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:51 pm
since i’ve been in grad school i’ve had to relinquish my ShoeWhore Club membership. *single tear falls* i’ve given shoes away and haven’t bought a pair that i didn’t “need” in a loooooong time. i’m actually ashamed to even be admitting this.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I shed a tear for you.
Maybe we can take up a collection for you…so you can indulge.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:07 pm
*wiping single tear* thanks V.E.G. i appreciate the concern.
chaoticdiva Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Poor baby! Yes, we’ll have the ShoeWhore’s Emergency Fund…
jellybeans Reply:
November 1st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I’m already 5′10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6′0″ to 6′1″. Throughout high school and undegrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5′8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6′3″ to 6′5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.
jellybeans Reply:
November 1st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I’m already 5′10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6′0″ to 6′1″. Throughout high school and undergrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5′8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6′3″ to 6′5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:35 am
“*Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.”
yeah…this is a wild cherry flag for me as well
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chaoticdiva Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:26 am
Bathrooms, Basements and Closets are best friends (as well as cars at night).
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:37 am
Cars at night are great even if you both have your own place. Or so I heard.
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
“Or so you heard”
*Insert Verizon’s Network here*
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Hey. Sometimes you both are too drunk to drive so you need to work the likka off. I call that being responsible…
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:36 pm
inside the car or shining down the hood? i prefer hood action… long legs…
chaoticdiva Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Backseat…I become a gymnast in tight spaces during hot and heavy times.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:59 pm
both. lol.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:09 pm
*daps*
1. Lack of swagger
2. Lack of height
3. “Huskiness”
4. Religious conflict
5. Social retardation
6. Excessive Mama love
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:33 am
“1. Lack of swagger
2. Lack of height
3. “Huskiness”
4. Religious conflict
5. Social retardation
6. Excessive Mama love”
***number 3***
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:51 am
actually, are we sure here that this is #3? is it possible that she just doesn’t mind dating socially retarded men??
or more accurately, short, insecure, tubby, agnostic atheists who dont like people and were breast fed until they were 15?
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:53 am
this is true. i could be wrong
mClOVIN Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:32 am
yO COUNT THAT SHYT. tHEM IS REGULAR FOR SOME.
Jen Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Uh…I don’t mind dating men with these features even though most people view them as immediate red flags. Every man I have dated seriously in my adult life has been mildly socially retarded (all two of them). I could not care less about swagger or height. I have found that religion says very little about a man (with the exception of atheists–I CANNOT DO ATHEISTS), and I have seen that men who love their mamas to death will also love their their wives to death.
ADJUST YOUR COUNT, YOU SHALLOW @$$ N!99AS.
P.S. Panama – they can have one or two of these–not all. NOT ALL.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:23 pm
point taken.
**making amendment to mythical vsb list of amendments**
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:47 am
See here?? It has begun.
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Champ, its good to know that booty isn’t a die-hard requirement for you. I feel much better about continuing to let you fall in love with me one hug at a time.
My WCF’s arrrre:
1. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game in peace for a few hours while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
3. Talking. By that I mean, some people are really uncomfortable when they’re with their SO and there’s not constant conversation. I’m a huge fan of comfortable silence. I like to just BE sometimes. Hell, sometimes I want to be in your presence, but I’d prefer it if you said nothing. All that constant talkage is for the birds.
I’ll be back in the mawnin with more.
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:06 am
. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
LOL yeah I can agree with these too
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Monk Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:22 am
“He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.”
This is key. Although I’m not the video game freak, I got other hobbies and shyt that doesn’t concern my lady and she should have the same.
“All that constant talkage is for the birds.”
I’m with you on this also. I’m a fan of communication, but every movie you see at an AMC theatre has the same underlined theme that “Silence Is Golden”. Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:59 am
I feel this.
Sometimes you just need to sit down and be quiet.
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
“Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.”
See, that’s what I’m sayin’!
But for some reason, folks tend to get nervous when I’m too quiet for too long.
Big Mama would be like “Ya’ll go see what that baby is back there doin’! She’s too quiet!” I’d just be on the porch reading “Good Housekeeping”.
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mClOVIN Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
i THINK i KINDA E-<3 YOU.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Is there a VSB doctor around?
I think I finally want to get this Crazy Magnet removed from my a$$. When it starts working over the IntraWebs, there is definitely cause for concern.
fRANK dA tANK Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
dON’T B LIKE THAT. i GOT SOME BOMB CHICKEN WINGS OVER HERE PACKED UP 4 A PICNIC. tHEY SMELL SO GOOD THEY COULD MAKE THEM MARSHMELLOWS GIVE UP THE PARTY HAT.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 7:14 pm
You made no mention of mumbo sauce in your picnic basket. That negates the offer of the wangs. Sorry, babe. A girl has her standards.
Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.
People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.
These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”
Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.
People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.
That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.
ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:55 am
Nah, Champ is asking what are other people’s non-negotiables/deal breakers that DON’T bother you, lol.
You all here listing things that make you tell em why you mad son.
What is it that you don’t mind that others do?
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:04 am
Nah, Champ is asking what are other people’s non-negotiables/deal breakers that DON’T bother you, lol.
You all here listing things that make you tell em why you mad son.
What is it that you don’t mind that others do?
8th thats why fugs with ya….
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:10 am
“8th thats why fugs with ya….”
*daps*
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:38 am
this was a hug worthy reply. come here
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:43 am
*smiles*
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:40 am
LMAO. This is why I should not try to respond past my bedtime. You know what time I left work 8th! Cut a sista some slack lol.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:07 pm
You know I heart you. How would I get through my work day without you?
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:37 am
Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.
People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.
These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”
Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.
People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.
That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.
ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly
***number 4***
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:06 am
Damn we on 4 already?!?! I should have taken the over.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:03 am
actually, i think 19 was much too high. i think we’re gonna top out at 10.
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
reading comprehension is a b*tch aint it
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
thats not nice. ive read PLENTY of comments where people go off on random “musings” ….
oh the irony in some people’s dust ruffles.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
that actually doesn’t negate the fact that reading comprehension is a b*tch though…lol.
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:42 am
eff all yall! i don’t call out yalls typos in your posts.
rude! lol.
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:40 pm
overit, if we placed bets on the number of typos in champ and panama’s vsb posts, the two of us could make a fortune! i tried to tell ‘em before to tighten that sh*t up, but they don’t listen. oh and by the way, i guess spell check laziness is a wcf for me because i’m still reading this d@mn blog at month 7…lol
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
spell.check.deez.
plus, our mistakes are charming.
wild cherry:
1. i generally like a little edge but i could get down with a straight laced college professsor, since i am a little extra that prolly would be an interesting match.
2. white guys. my preference is a brotha but …hey
3. men who are from “obscure” parts of the country. I suppose I could date a man from IA, particularly if he had a potato hookup…for the au gratin.
3b. a man who “thinks” he can cook. I really don’t like for men to “mess” around in my kitchen. But if he claims he can cook. We would have to have a cook off where friends and family would have to vote, and if we tied or he won (that shyt would be rigged some kinda way) however if it was a fair win, only then would be be allowed to burn with me.
thats all i got right now. im sure ill have more later in the morning.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
“3. men who are from “obscure” parts of the country. I suppose I could date a man from IA, particularly if he had a potato hookup…for the au gratin.”
***substituting “women” for “men” and adding to my list***
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:15 am
3b. a man who “thinks” he can cook.
*pointing at Champie*
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:24 am
oh say it aint so Gemmie…
***SMH***
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:58 pm
*can’t bring her self to “say it aint so, joe”*
at least his food is edible. i didn’t die when i ate his spaghetti. he got one thumb up.
sidenote: is it just me or are there mad dudes who swear up and down they can throw down in the kitchen and then serve you some spaghetti?? noodles + sauce = culinary skills?? wth…
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:50 pm
i didn’t die when i ate his spaghetti. he got one thumb up.
dayum!!!! ha ha! champie got outed!!! LMAO, FOR REAL!!!
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:07 pm
“sidenote: is it just me or are there mad dudes who swear up and down they can throw down in the kitchen and then serve you some spaghetti?? noodles + sauce = culinary skills?? wth…”
Tell the truth!!!
I’ve eaten many a spaghetti dinner on some “come over and I cook for you” ish.
It’s so cute that they try though…lol
A for Effort!
Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Naw, they get an incomplete for effort… “Ol’ Chef Nin-ja-rdee lookin’ boy…”
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
*sniggling*
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
i gotta co-sign with Alise here. Alot of women too think they doin stuff with multiple variations of pasta…im sure you saw the movie chocolat…food is too sensual to be playin around in pasta..i’d be kinda offended LOL.
if you dont know…just back away from the stove..its ok.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:10 pm
exactly, CBG. if your chef skills aren’t top notch, it is oh kay. as long as you bring some other top notch skills, some one can work with you.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
“as long as you bring some other top notch skills, some one can work with you”
urrr uhh……YEAH..
LMBAO
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
that’s really sad champie poo poo
do better.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:31 am
“oh say it aint so Gemmie”
LOL
Champie poo poo looks like a “scratcher” (ie playin in the pots and aint doin nothin)..i figured as much.
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:01 pm
you mean pot, as in singular. i think he only owns 1. i know for sure he got no baking sheets. me and Ivy been meaning to take him shopping to up his cookware.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:21 pm
*Gives Champ the side-eye*
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:24 pm
upgrade his @zz a notch on the stainless steel cookwear, please!!!
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Champie poo poo looks like a “scratcher”
how exactly does a “scratcher” look?
and i’m not sure if i’m feeling this 35 comment tangent about my cooking skills
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:41 pm
well there are some of us who aren’t sure if we’re feeling your cooking skills. there’s dissatisfaction all around.
miss patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:06 pm
BURN!!!
sooo.. listing things that might be deal breakers to others but dont really bother me
Being a thug…I dont mind really, I am a tough chick. I get loud, and regardless of how uncouth.. Yeah I will still fight a biatch, so I need a dude thats down for the clown sometimes…..My husband is a gangster nerd.. smart, intelligent, hard working but PLease believe me when I say, he AINT going.. and that shyt is s.e.xy
I have also messed witih a few nerds…like for real, socially inept, computer, math geniuses…they are often times very sweet and you learn a lot from them……
color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time
if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:29 am
if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..
to pull a CBG and reply to my post for clarification..
Now I do like it.. a lot.. but I dont think it would be a deal breaker for me.. .
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:42 am
good flags and sh*t.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am
color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time
i have to wonder how many women actually wouldn’t date a mixed dude?
i met this chick once who, before finding out that i was mixed, told me that all mixed kids have identity issues and don’t know they are, etc…of course, once she found out my mama was white it more or less shut her entire argument down, but still, i’m guessing there are women (and men for that matter) out there who wouldn’t…
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:19 am
ppl who wouldn’t date mixties are LAME!
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:05 am
“color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time”
This has never been a deal breaker for me. I’ve dated two white guys, a Rican and a cat from Ecuador. While I hands down prefer the brothers I am open to talking to whomever is cute and witty.
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Wild cherry flags…Let’s see:
1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit. now, i DON’T need you to be sitting your arse around, working some uninspired 9-5 and making min wage trying to take me out to some damn ryan’s like that’s okay, BUT i’m not just gonna judge you because you didn’t go to college. (sidenote: as a freshman in college, i remember being sooo impressed when my new–non-college–boyfriend was reading the same ish i had been assigned, just because he wanted to. mmm.)
2) aspiring singer (NOT RAPPER! hell naw.)–let me explain. as an actress (who is giving up on the dream day by long tired day. haha.), i respect someone who isn’t afraid to hold onto their dream and work at it, as an adult. now, i DON’T need you to be 37 with no resume or training or ‘get up and go,’ talking about how you will “one day” be on oprah and and be the new tyrese and all of that. and…i don’t mean to stereotype, but this is why i make the exclusion for rappers. they get a big ol’ red flag.
umm………what else……
3) men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross, men (esp. southern men) usually react very well to a playful, “please don’t swear like that around me. lol.” and i like that reaction….
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:14 am
“while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.”
Co-sign.
“men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”
Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:32 am
1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.
this used to be a red flag that became a wild cherry flag that became a non-flag… hence i am now in wedded bliss… as 8th would say
the flip is that he is still amazingly intelligent, reads often, researches interesting topics ‘just for fun’, is very open to new experiences and is completely comfortable hanging with me and my fellow ‘alphabet soup*’ friends or the dudes from around the way…
*this is the endearing term i have for people with credentials and letters behind their name… looks like you spilled a can of alphabet soup on your business card.
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swamii Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:42 am
“Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?”
No, that is just you.
Sorry, I don’t curse. I will always keep my distance so you can remain in your happy place………
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Awww, it’s cool Swamii, come back!
mClOVIN Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
i ONCE HEARD FROM A CHICK THAT SAID IT WAS HER DEAL BREAKER IF A CAT WOULD CURSE AROUND HER. sHE WAS ALL, ‘IF HE’LL CURSE AROUND YOU, HE WILL CURSE YOU.’ **SHRUGGING SHOLDERS**
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am
And see, my response to her would have been Shut the fukk up.
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:17 am
. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
yeah I love profanity and slang.. as long as I know that you are able to put them aside when appropriate..
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:24 am
Okay apparenty I didnt hit ctrl+C like I thought I did..its late forgive me.. I meant to co sign the statement below…
men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”
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I’ll be back in the morning to add more fodder for Luvvie’s snarky a$$ comments… at least until the Championship Parade in Philly tomorrow… then I’ll be drinkin beer with my boss on Broad Street!!!!
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:45 am
then I’ll be drinkin beer with my boss on Broad Street!!!!
thanks, blackberry, for helping us to fill our alliteration quota for the day
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
don’t be a hater because I was mandated to drink today, and you weren’t.
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mClOVIN Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:47 am
sEE YOU OUT THERE IN A FEW.
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I cant really think of much else
well I guess being a technophobe is not a deal breaker either
I like people with house phones, who still write letters, use actual books for research or otherwise communicate through more intimate mediums. I mean somebody has got to keep card catalogs alive, why else did I spend the first six year of my educational career learning about subject, author and title cards?
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:05 am
“who still write letters”
“the wednesday letters” ..yes and yes. its hard to find a black man though who’ll write a dam#n letter LOL.. I might have to go 2520 for this.
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:13 am
“the wednesday letters”
EXACTLY!! So full of sappy sweetness!!! me and the hubby dont do it every wednesday but we are write letters to each other..maybe I am a sucker for nostalgia but nothing beats a well worded hand written letter….from a thug
LOL
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:15 am
“I am a sucker for nostalgia but nothing beats a well worded hand written letter….from a thug”
that is kodak moment a “thug” writing a cute little note on pretty paper lol..wit some timbs on.
Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:03 am
“Ol’ Jahiem lookin’ boy”
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
dat dude would prolly write his letter in crayons
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:53 am
And eat the green one…like every other child I’ve encountered under the age of 5 in the last 15 years. Even my genius children ate the green crayon. WTH is that about?? I’m gonna ask my professor next week, see if she can shed any light on this phenomena.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:00 am
“use actual books”
the hell is a book? i think i read about one of those while i was reading the wall street journal online…
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I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex, and nooooooooooo not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio. The flavorsaur went extinct, and so did a piece of my soul.
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:08 am
I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex
LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. and now it just aint the same…smh
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:34 am
“LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. ”
Aw mayne! Me 2.
I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.
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shay-d-lady Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Aw mayne! Me 2.
I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.
I got some on my desk right now… wait dont you have kids Miss t lee?
you dont make them kool aid? Girl dont deprive them kids like that…….get them so Red kool aid with with the ghetto recipe of 2 1/2 of cups of sugar per package stat!!!
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:56 am
“…not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio.”
Saywhaaa, Unicorn Wrangler?? Let me know the next time you’re in DC, because I will make you some divine grape/lemonade kool-aid.
And yes, DC…not DMV. Everybody knows you can’t get quality Kool-Aid in the suburbs.
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:23 am
Awwww hellllll naw, PBG! My mama’s k-laid can beat yo mama’s k-laid any day of the week. We don’t play that mess in PG! You betta ask somebody…*switches off muttering under my breath* Can’t make good k-laid my azz…..like I’m not runnin’ round with 2 fillings thanks to da laid….been making laid cocktails since ‘83….betta take that ish to MoCo….
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:29 am
Since ‘83, huh? *snickers*
I’ve been creating Kool-Aid magic since Murr’in Burree” (that’s Mayor for Life, Marion Barry, for ya’ll regular talkers, i.e. non-Washingtonians) was still on the School Board.
Although, I don’t doubt you probably can find some good K-laid in Suitland or District Heights, but it will have crack in it. Drank @ your own risk n’ shyt.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:07 am
teeheeheeheheee. I went to Suitland h.s. – and I can’t even argue with that one!!! But if you were making the Laid when MB was in office I’ma have to get yours tested for *extra sugar cubes* too…..
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
LMAO @ “extra sugar cubes”! Girl, leave our man alone! MB could run for Mayor in DC right now and get back in by a very respectable margin, despite this city being overrun by enthusiastic 2520s. Fenty is effin’ up, yo!
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:15 am
I know, I know – and Fenty went to my college!! I’m still waiting for him and Rhee to enforce marshall law…he’s got good intentions, though. Just glad i’m in the (hood) burbs…
I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:19 am
“I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….”
CTFU!! That is Classic MB right there!!!
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:30 am
Both an Alpha (Barry) and a Kappa (Fenty) f*ckin up DC. And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:01 am
“And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.”
LMAO!! Gotta love the Bruhs.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Both an Alpha (Barry) and a Kappa (Fenty) f*ckin up DC. And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*I know I’m co-signing clownin’ my Nupes but dammit, that was funny sh*t
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:52 am
@ PGB off topic kinda..did you grow up around Tech …like Todd PL..i meant to ask you the other day.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:02 am
CBG, I didn’t grow up around Tech, but I live here now. My daughter goes to The Great McKinley Technology High School now. LOL.
I actually grew up in Shaw.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:14 am
some of my father’s peeps lived over there back in the day..My pops went to tech.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:03 am
totally off topic, but am i the ONLY ninja in the DC area who HATES the term DMV. for one, that crap came out of nowhere a few years ago and exploded, but i really hate that sh*t. nobody wants to go to the real DMV, everytime i hear that term i think of the new license joint off M Street, SW and the fact that i waited for 2 hours to turn IN my old license plates.
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:11 am
yeah im not feeling the “DMV”either..i think tiger’s @zz coined that. Its a lazy unimaginative term 4 a fabulous location.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:20 am
I actually hate the term “DMV”. Nothing but bad memories of women with freakishly long nails (rings on each finger) and bad cosmetic choices making me “hurry up and wait”, while the men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week, asking me about my license and trying to mack at the same time. Yeah, that’s DC Gov’t workers for you.
I use the ridiculous term to make a distinction between Authentic DC Denizens and the Posers from out in “The County”…PG, MoCo, AA, Charles Co, MD or “Across The Bridge”…VA. With their bamma azzes.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:28 am
PGB..you are a MESS…im am crying right now…that bit of truth could use some glitter.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:43 am
thats true i hate to be over near those dc gvtment buildings around early spring..that is every black man’s invitation for linen pants. with heavy mad creases..You know philly got a little of that extra male flavor too.
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:46 am
I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!
dying! LMAO….so true.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:08 pm
You know, ya’ll aren’t giving me many reasons to visit DC.
::snicker::
Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:49 am
“men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week”
indoor or outdoor concert?…. Like linen short sets w/ mandals? Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage, ployester pants of a purplesaurus rex hue and 3 gold chains all with charms and a scurl?
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:54 am
LMAO!! I just bout died when I read this. I pictured the outfit and ERRTHANG. Oh and the skinny legs coming out the linen short set will top it off, talm bout “You young whippa snappas dont kno nuthin bout that right derr”
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:55 am
UnicornWrangler…girl! To borrow a phrase from yesterday’s blog…“Why does it matter??”
That shyt is horrid, no matter the season!! Geesh!
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
“Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage”
**dear lord..please don’t let me have a seziure right now**LOL
this is SOOO true and these men are SUPER forward and bold too. I think its because there are women that actually like this foolishness.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I think my lungs just exploaded from lack of oxygen.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm
You not gone keep tryin’ to carry PG – we might have to smack that “B” out the middle of your screen name..then what you gone do? Huh!?!
I would say something in defense of MoCo, pero mi espanol es no muy bueno.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
That would be a lot smackin’, woman. That “B” stands for my very brown skin and that ain’t going nowhere, despite all that Ivory soap my Big Mama scrubbed me down with the first 6 years of my life.
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
lmao, i may have grown up in va, but i was born in dc. go sibley hospital! i just hate the term dmv cause it reminds me of the actual dmv. i hate the dmv with a passion, i once had to renew my license and since it was post 9/11 you had to take every ID you ever got, your birth certificate, ss card, and 3 witnesses to your birth on US soil. i was so mad, not cause i lost all the documents, but cause i had to go to the dmv…of course i was happy when i found out i simply misplaced them, but im mad my intitial reaction was “i HATE the dmv!”
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
You were born @ Sibley? Oh, how fancy…a lot of my clients bypass 3 hospitals to get up there to have their babies.
I was born @ Freedman’s Hospital which is sadly, no more. That building is now Howard University’s School of Communication.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:28 am
DMV used to really throw me off as well. my friends living in that area say it all the time and it takes me a second to process. i just take the time to say DC-Maryland-Virginia area.
Aha Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:28 pm
or just say DC area.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:05 pm
some of the areas around DC just aren’t DC-like to me and therefore don’t deserve to be grouped like that.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
maybe not, but saying DMV does the exact same thing. there’s no good way to denote the DC Metropolitan area…but DMV blows balls way more than anything i can think of…
its a shame too, cuz you really just can’t tell folks you from DC around here if you’re ass is from Vienna, VA…its like a sham wrapped up in a lie wrapped up in one of Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets.
but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…
ZONE 4!
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
“Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets”
im so tired of giving yall negra’s the correct terminology..and i rep DC cause thats where i was born and raised and it takes me 10 minutes on 50 to get there so whatever.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:15 pm
“but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…”
Me too. I hate when people wanna rep for a city they technically don’t live in. I used to stay setting people straight when I lived in ATL. Like umm, nah homie, your address says Decatur/College Park/East Point. Not Atlanta.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
i see your point, PJ. i guess when i say d-m-v area i’m referring to actual geographical closeness, rather than dc-likeness.
but yeah, i feel you on the not being from an actual city but claiming it. i never knew ppl did this (ppl in SoCal claim their zip codes) until i got to undergrad and everybody made it quite clear you couldn’t rep a “city” unless it was actually in your mailing address.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:12 am
*Sighs, and pours out a lil likka for Purplesaurus Rex, her favorite kool-aid flavor*
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:28 am
Can you pour that likka into my cup 8th Wondra, it’s the red solo cup sitting next to the “undecided voter”, I mean unicorn.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:44 am
I heart “8th Wondra”, lol.
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
got to make sure you’re saying it like Roy Lee, n***a.
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:32 am
What you need to do is pour that likka in a cup of Purplesaurus Rex, now that sh*t right there is crack in a cup.
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:40 am
that sounds like some ole Omega Oil if I ever
Hi Peyso
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Close, but no cigar.
What’s goodie IH?
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I like cigars too…
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:48 am
not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio
obviously you havent met my mom. i think one of the kool-aid people stole the idea from her.
it was probably one of those gypsies that were living with us in the early 80’s
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fRANK dA tANK Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
i LIKE TO PUT SOME MANGO PUREE IN MY LEMONADE IF NO SWEET TEA IS AVAILABLE. oooooOOOH WEEE YIGNUH.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Yo, who the hell just has mango puree laying around?
You kill me, mayne.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:41 pm
right?!
Plantains yes.
Mango pure no.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
lIKE WIA SAID ‘4 MANGO CUTS’
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I love Mango Puree
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
this actually sounds pretty good. crazy cap lock on and everything.
Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:43 pm
also ,mango nectar + champagne = a greatacular mimosa
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
this sounds DEELISH…imma have to guinea pig this on a gentleman caller.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
i CAN’T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. tHIS IS ACTUALLY A FLAVOR OF DRINK FROM BOLTHOUSE FARMS. tHEY HAVE A JUICE DRINK LINE.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
too right!
“STL aka WDM” you are my foodie e-brother… Bolthouse Farms got that TRUTH right derr. The Prickly Pear Lemonade? Diabeetus in a bottle but SOOOOO good
pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:00 pm
also ,mango nectar + champagne = a greatacular mimosa
This is inspiring
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 7:29 pm
This combo really makes me wish I wasn’t allergic to mangoes.
If he makes me laugh and pant at the appropriate times, much is forgivable.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:51 am
“…If he makes me laugh and pant at the appropriate times…”
***imagining k.i.t. in the throes of passion, giggling and moaning at the same time***
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Kit (Keep It Trill) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:25 am
Grrrr. I said the appropriate times, not the same time… although if he could pull that off, case in point; he’s forgiven.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
“giggling and moaning at the same time…”
This is never a bad thing.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Absolutely never.
*le sigh*
*Physical Appearance – Some of my homies exclusively date the model type or the chick whom the majority of n*ggas would pursue. I have no problem with that but experience has taught me that looks shouldn’t be the number one factor. Looks fade, seasons change, blah, blah, blah, etc….not saying that I will entertain someone who I find physically repulsive, but one doesn’t have to be a beauty queen as long as they do have some redeeming physical attribute and other shyt to bring to the table.
*The Cooking Factor – A woman who can cook her ass off is definitely a plus, but I’m not gonna trip if she’s not overly proficient in the kitchen. I’m not picky like that…and plus I can bake a potato, steam or boil some broccoli, and a n*gga’s NICE on the Foreman Grill. Liquid smoke and proper seasoning goes a long way.
*Ability To Procreate – This is a major no-no with many men, however, being 31 (for the next couple of weeks…my born day is Nov. 16th), I’m not convinced that I need to have children. I understand that children are a blessing but as of now, I have no desire to have a Prince Monk or Princess Monk.
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Good list there, Monk. Try that Foreman Grillerator, it’s the shyt. I do some major work in there. That and my crockpot.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:53 am
these are some good cherry flags
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Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:13 pm
sssssscorpio….rawwrrrr!!!
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So the 80% rule, huh?
1. Thick accents. Sometimes it can be irritating but sometimes, cute.
2. Edgy – OK to have a little but not too much. Keeps things poppin
3. Parental drama – just so you handle it as best you can and just so you got my back with them. And you know when to mount up and leave.
4. Talk, talk, talk – talk all you want, but give me the option to opt out when my cup/ears are full.
5. Not of my denomination – this one is new for me but I am recently becoming much more tolerant. Just believe in God and work out the particulars for yourself.
6. Clingy – like our fearless leader, I can handle this better than distance. I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:56 am
6. Clingy – like our fearless leader, I can handle this better than distance. I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.
“fearless leader” has a great ring to it. when i undergo my shark jumping metamorphosis in 2014, i’m probably gonna change my name to that
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gLIMMER mAN Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:22 pm
tHEY TOLD YOU, YOU COULD JUMP SPECIES TOO. i PICKED OCTOPUS.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:19 am
“I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. ”
I think that was me.
I kid. I kid. But I do hate hand holding and whatnot.
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:33 am
i can’t get with hand holding either. esp with tall men. it just feels awkward.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:58 am
Hmmm… you hate hand holding huh???
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:13 pm
When have you ever seen me hold hands?
I have done it willingly once and that was when I was under the influence of the gotdamn.
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Influence of the gotdamn = she had a crush
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:45 pm
naw wasn’t a crush. trust. not on him. on the gotdamn.
besides, you can’t crush on an ex can you?
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:24 pm
“besides, you can’t crush on an ex can you?”
yes
yes you can, lol.
wUGGIE Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
nO SHE DIDN’T GO SI SU PUEDE ON THAT SSA
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:57 am
“I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.”
I’d do the same. I am so affectionate and I definitely need the same in return.
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wUGGIE Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
i ONCE HEARD THAT CHICKS NEED @ LEAST 7 TOUCHES A DAY.
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Hmmm, cherry flags? *looks toward my man and begins typing feverishly*
-under 5′11 – he’s still taller than me with heels on, so whatever.
-ashy as all hell – this bama is covered in snow. You’d think he’s mixed. but he…..
-is exactly the same shade as me – could we be kin? naw, but it’s still weird.
-does not do dishes – this would have offended my feminist ideals in the past – but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track.
-quick on the draw – but also quick to rally. tee-hee.
-is a trash compactor. this bama eats my “leftovers lunch” as a midnight snack. for some strange reason i’m flattered. lucky his ashy azz is cute to me.
-sports a nappy mustache – i mean, really. wtf? i trim it. After I cut his hair.
-is from Miami. I’ve seen him get ready to go out to the club with his boys, and there is no happy medium between dressing like a skittle or like a Jehovah’s Witness. Watchtower anyone? I just tell him he looks cute and send him on his way. tee-hee.
-says “guhl”. and I think that ish is cute. Actually, I think his dirty draws are cute – must be lub.
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
LOL!!!
your list cracked me up… primarily because
” he’s still taller than me with heels on” I imagined him with heels on ala Prince Rogers Nelson, his Royal Musical Genius…
but you totally had me with
“but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track”
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:11 am
“but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track”
Does he wash them with cold water? lol
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:34 am
I think he washes them with a blindfold on.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:39 am
Sadness.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Mental picture is too much!!! Y’all are tryin’ to get me fired up in here.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I said “cold water” cause I once knew a kat who did.
I ate on paper plates when I was at his place.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:29 pm
CTFU!!!! I think they do it on purpose so we’ll jump at the chance to do them dang dishes. That ish be workin’, tho.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
lol…i wonder if he knows that he’s being put on blast by his chick in front of thousands and sh*t
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AT_Elleian Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:31 am
Um, can the thousands get a glossary for this piece?! I am lost on the 2520. I read the blog and sometimes even post, but I have been out a few weeks, so can somebody publish a bootleg VSB slang key!
Humph.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:34 am
Champ is “supposedly” still working on this.
It will debut on March 32nd.
Oh yeah 2520 is another term for the non-melanin folks. You know, the pink people…lol
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Champie, someday a woman will like you enough to post your bidness. Pray she keeps your name and identifying details out.
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pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:03 am
Awwww. ur list is cute and sh*t.
it must be luv
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:06 am
this is a good list and highly comedic. i assume he does not read our site…
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
hell naw – that bama can’t read!
j/k and shyt.
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:15 am
This list was hilarious…
**still chuckling
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:38 am
i agree with everyone else–your list is so cute and funny. i think it’s great you’re willing to work with the brotha. some things you can “change” (i.e. cutting his hair, trimming his mustache) and others you can overlook. awwwwww love is a beautiful thing!
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I think I got the sweet end of the deal, for realz. I only masquerade as sane, and that bama puts up with ALL my crazy ish (and it’s alot). Fo sho. But yeah, I start gigglin and shyt all little girl like when I think about him.
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lOOK@iThOD Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
aWWE lIL’t YOU MAKIN ME MISS MY DAY’S @ famu. mY HOMEBOYS WAS ALWAYS ON THAT ‘HEY GRRRRRL’ OR ‘WUZZ UP GUHL.’ mAKES ME WANT TO DO THE CITY BOY TO THAT mICHAEL jACKSON OR bARRY wHITE
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Tropical Punch goes hard!
IDK about the wild cherry flags.
Looks–
You ain’t gotta be Dwayne Johnson fine, hell I’ve even dated some true blue ugmos. As long as you don’t have a horn growing out of your forehead (shouts to Naturally/Devilishly/Home Edition Alise) I think I can make it work.
The personality always draws me in…dayumit!!!
I might have more…it’s way too early to think.
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:21 am
thanks for the shoutout ‘Throat Puncher Extraordinaire’
I too don’t have to have a 10, BUT if you are a 5 as long as you are witty & stylish then you are definitely doable/dateable.
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Cherry…hehehe.
Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
*sigh
Here’s 1, Champ. I’m still in good shape though
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:00 am
Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.
***giving slim a chance to reply before branding this comment with number 5***
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:22 am
Oh, I should give these folks a name. How about “the physical exertion (minus sex) minimalists”?
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:06 am
***sadly branding slims comment with a number five***
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
LMAO at you counting people’s comments… committed to this one, huh?
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Love. It. Bwahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slim Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Yeah, I really did miss something if I’m getting branded. I don’t need one of those though. I’m already Greek.
I’m asking that the brand be removed since this particular string has 13 comments. That has to count for something
Slim Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Aight, after studying this sh*t, I realized where I went wrong. All I have to say is…..
Oops.
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Its ok Slim, our corner is bumpin. I was #4 and shyt, glad to see ya.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:30 pm
i do appreciate the self-reflection. really, i do
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:03 am
“Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.”
What bout us folks that are blessed with a high metabolism? Me working out may result in me losing weight. Which just would NOT be the business.
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:16 am
Working out isn’t about just losing weight. You can also tone what you do have, keep up stamina, build muscle in the right places…etc. No snark-o
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
True, true… I did work out for a 6 week spurt in 2007. I even had a personal trainer. Then I fell back into bummidom.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am
Working out is important to overall health and, if you eat properly, can help you to maintain weight. I actually gain 5 lbs – in the very best of areas – when I am training for something.
Laziness is not segzi.
Besides, your metabolism is fine now. Give it a few years…
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:52 am
If I use my Mom (and the rest of the women in my fam) as a measuring tool, there’s not much fat-ass ness in my future (but there IS thickness. I hope it isnt a dream deferred).
But I do agree. I need to start working out. *sigh* and to think, I used to be a hooper.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:57 am
I hear ya. My momma’s thick now too. But I am really trying to stay at this weight (or within 10 lbs) till I go off to meet my maker. lol.
Sprinting and lunging can help speed the thickness along. Well, round out da booty and fill in the thighs. Eat more protein, too.
lol.
Being a stripper. I know a lot of men have a problem with women who strip, but not me. I’ll encourage you to drop and give me 50 during timeouts on Monday Night Football.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am
LOL
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:19 am
I sometimes tell men to drop and give me 50…..a$$ pumps that is.
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:38 pm
V Renee – I like your style.
Ain’t nothing wrong with scrippers!
*hiding tassels*
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pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:10 pm
lmao… ya’ll r crazy.
lOOK@iThOD Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:37 pm
lIL’t R U DATING ONE OF THE FAT BOYS? oLE j c pENNEY LOOKIN BOY?
BigBuck Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:08 pm
AMEN!! Strippers are fine as frog hair, and they make boatloads of money, and they have skills that other women either don’t have, or hide from you. I can’t wife that though, but we can have lots of fun that is meaningless and going nowhere!
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Not about red flags, not about must haves this is
My negotiable list.
1) Cig/Weed Smoker – Terrible Kiss aftermath or Black lips? Not a problem. The fact that she willfully ingests something that will kill her may be a red flag to a lesser man, but for me (a non-smoker) that’s nothing but sexy.
2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.
3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.
4) Morning Person – I’m vampiric with my hatred of the sun and love for the night, but a bright eyed and bushy tailed chick can is often a Jah Send.
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:34 am
“2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right”
a flight needs accessories. stop hatin’
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:04 am
It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.
you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.
i like to call these chicks, “sarah palins”
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WestIndianArchie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
lol @ sarah palin’s
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:00 am
“you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.”
The secret to success is to under-promise and over-deliver.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:16 am
“The secret to success is to under-promise and over-deliver.”
Not really. lol.
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
this reminded me of the Lowered Expectations skit that used to come on the four episodes that MadTv was funny.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:39 pm
It’s all fun and games til someone loses an intestine.
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bUBBA gUTS Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:58 pm
THEN AGAIN SHE GIVES YOU SOMETHING THAT PROVOKES SSA FIRE. i GOT TO GIVE THE NAY NO MY BROTHUH. i WOULD MUCH RATHER POKE FUN @ AND AGRIVATE MY WAY INTO THE KITCHEN THEN GET PISSED MYSELF ABOUT HER FULKIN UP THE FOOD. sHOOT dADDY SAID, ‘DON’T MESS UP NO GROCERIE.’ aND cHRIS wALKEN SAID, ‘YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOU WANT, BUT YOU GONE EAT ALL YOU TAKE BOY.’ bILUXI bLUES.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.
i know the perfect gal for you!!!
this actually drives me crazy, be it my friends, man, family member.
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Master Sergeant Vernon Waters Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
“3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.”
Gotta give a big co-sign on that one.
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bUBBA gUTS Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:00 pm
i HAVE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR ANOTHER MORNING PERSON. eSPECIALLY IF SHE CAN GET UP AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY DRINKIN N FLUKIN.
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Jen Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I must be a kitchen Nazi. Whenever people try to enter the kitchen while I am cooking, I glare at them, lower my voice to a rumble and sneer, “Why are you here?”
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* weed smokers – I have hopped off my high horse on that one, as long as it is not on some Clifford Smith , Iron Lung, Ticaaaaaal & Reggie Nobles, Brick City, I’ll Be Dat type of habit I can deal.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:28 am
Ticaaaaaal.
Release Yo’ Delf!
*off to find that on youtube.*
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:57 am
*Still in the running (pumps fist)*
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:58 pm
i see you…. *wink* … lol
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am
Weed smokers are some of the smartest folks I’ve can come across. maybe its that “higher level of clarity” they say it gives.
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am
no, smart it does not make you…. in the words of Katt Williams “ain’t nothing worse than a smart dumb ninja…smarter than a dumb-muthafugga”
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pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:17 am
no, smart it does not make you…. in the words of Katt Williams “ain’t nothing worse than a smart dumb ninja…smarter than a dumb-muthafugga”
tee hee hee
AkShone Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:45 am
Lol, this is true…one of my best friends is an attorney and he smokes like a chimney. He really thought he could not get through law school and pass the bar without a perpetual amount of “tall tree”!
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
I am glad you recognize my brilliance.
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:25 am
The weed be letting you know…….
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Yeah, ole dude puts up with my tree habit.
I don’t see nothing wrong…with a little puff and pass…
Ivy St. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:09 am
It will always be on my list. I’ve got a couple of young doctor friends that smoke weed and I for that reason will not date them. Outside of that they are dateable (did I make this word up?), I just can’t get passed it. What if they get screened at work for drugs… FIRED and now unemployed.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:09 am
Outside of that they are dateable (did I make this word up?), I just can’t get passed it.
no, dateable’s a valid term, but you did just invent a new use for the word “passed”
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
LMAO.
my guess is everybody didnt pick up on that but that cracked me up heavenly.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:34 pm
For two ninjas whose posts stay chocked the h3ll full of typos and other incidences of grammatical imprecision, ya’ll are pretty dayum snarky about others missteps today. Hmph…
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:40 pm
For two ninjas whose posts stay chocked the h3ll full of typos and other incidences of grammatical imprecision, ya’ll are pretty dayum snarky about others missteps today. Hmph…
THANK YOU. I mentioned that upthread. I’m sure Champ saw your comment and thought “thats what she said”. So predictable.
It’s ok Champ and P, I will continue to mentally edit your posts:)
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 8:01 pm
i know i wasn’t the only one who whips out the mental red pen
***off topic***
happy halloween! anybody aside from Devilishly Elise dressing up?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClbK4YYAAGk
safe for work, its just music, the reason I stopped watching horror movies when I was a kid.
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:06 am
I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.
I hope I can still fit that jawn.
(“Jawn” is officially my new fave slang word.)
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:11 am
I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.
this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:18 am
“this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady””
I just…lmao..I can’t.
pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:20 am
this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
Bwwwaaaaahaaahaaahaa…
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:20 am
“this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
Oh no.
PBG aka The Notorious C.A.T. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
Ha! That’s hilarious to me because my one and only tattoo (that I got at the ripe old age of 34) is an effin’ CAT!! LOL! And my dayum initials…are C.A.T. And I do love the kittehs!
Yes, I am well on my way.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am
don’t worry, PBG. i’ll cat-sit for you if you ever need a vacay
Peyso Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I hate almost all things philly but i cant shake the word “jawn”. it just works so well
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bUBBA gUTS Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:06 pm
bUT i HATE WHEN THIS NONSPECIFIC PRONOWN EXPECTS PEOPLE TO HAVE ESP. SMH
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:46 pm
you like ‘jawn’? CLEARLY you have not spent enough time in the DelVal. ‘jawn’ is a word that makes my ass twitch… it replaces nouns, pronouns and sometimes adjectives ’round these parts
I’m gonna have to put you on the Diva Dust Ration Program for this one…
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
First I’m a soon-to-be Cat Lady, now I’m having my Diva Dust rationed.
This has not been a good day on VSB for PBG. Dang.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:00 pm
i still luvs ya girl. but ‘jawn’ need not make it into your vernacular….
gawd just TYPING it made my ass twich.
I take the under (hopes that VSB readership is indeed V and S).
Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me.
Well anyway I’m calling these grape flags, only because grape (or purple according to Chappelle) is a vastly superior flavor of beverage than whatever it is you listed up top***
Ok here we go:
Reading Rainbow. Listen if she shares the same passion for butterflies in the sky as Lavar Burton thats great. If not its no big deal. I mean really people its 2008 there are a million ways to stay informed, I don’t need a chick who spends a good amount of our fornic8able time staring at dead trees with words on them.
Parties all the time. I like Eddie Murphy. Really I do. I agree with him on a lot of issues. However I fundamentally disagree with him that a girl who enjoys the nightlife as much as me is a detriment. I never got this, so you like to party and club yet you want a woman who stays home all the time??? How does that make sense? So while you’re out partying, her “gay friend” Andre, can come and watch Bridezilla with her and taste her new cupcakes. Andre will get them cakes all right.
Plans our house/car/kids/dogs she want it all. Though I don’t want a liar, cheater, deceiver or a heartbreaker, I do want in my life a woman who openly expresses the fact that she hopes that our kids come out with my cheeks or her hair. My friends: son i’ve been seeing this girl for 3 years and she talking bout “when we move in together…” WHEN!!! Dogs its only been 3 YEARS, we just met and sh*t.” Me: Ok so you would rather her say things like “listen after I cheat on you, you think we’ll still be friends?” or “hey i totally plan on just using you to fill my loneliness until med school when I meet a potential doctor who I really want” Friends: *Crickets*
***This is non negotiable
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am
I take personal offense to you saying grape is vastly superior to cherry. Have you ever tasted a grape popsicle?? It tastes like cough syrup. I’m not a fan of robitussin.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
I will not have you insulting grape. That has and will always be my favorite flavor.
BOOOOOO!!!
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:32 am
you have to buy the name brand popsicles…
**backing away slowly**
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:41 am
Ha!!!!!!
Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
LMAO!! IH, thats what we on?? U just gon play me like that and walk away??
hehe. I DID buy name brand *stick out tongue*. Shoot, robitussin is a name brand too and that ish is gross.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:27 am
i hafta agree with the hedonist. a welch’s popsicle can change your life
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:09 am
Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me
isn’t beautiful booty distracting already? i mean, judging by your comment, the only way you’d be distracted by booty is if you were hitting an elongated spine everyday.
sh*t, i’m distracted by booty right now, and i”m staring at a computer screen
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:18 am
Touche, however it would also grind on you that you too could be sleeping on a booty like that every night, yet your stuck with human pancakes.
With shorty also knowing she has nothing to offer in that department she will naturally get more defensive at any look/stare/glance/or nod that she sees you do while out. Which can only lead to bad things.
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:49 pm
You know what? That is some true ish right there. I had a friend who was a nassatall – and you will never find a more paranoid chick on the planet. Most women will be a little sensitive about something that they lack, but it’s hard to fake having an arse (although it can be done) and men love it so much…seriously, I think she may be in an institution right now. Just get some padded panties already!!
bUBBA gUTS Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-1C6QlvHl8
FAST FOREWARD TO LIKE 4:00 IN
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:34 pm
this is actually one of the most underrated comedies ever, and easily cracks my top 25 (movies, not just comedies)
pgh muse Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:15 pm
lmao… WHATEVA… im a member of the NO DONKEY committee and i have NEVA had any complaints about my flatbacks… i mean there’s something back there (now hee hee) but before that i never had no problems…
Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:11 am
“fornic8able time”
LOL!
My favorite time of day. (Hey I’m a reformed ho, never said I was a reformed freak, that will happen never ever ever…)
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
heh, heh.
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Wild Cherry Flags (by the way is that a new color by Wet n Wild?)
Anywho
1) Body Odor – I don’t mind if you stank. Sometimes people can stank so good. I like my man to run around outside all day, take a sh*t and not wipe his azz all the way. Mmmmhmmmm Funk =aphrodisiac.
2) Wack S3X game – S3x is overrated anyway. Besides if he can’t fukc that good, I won’t have to worry about other chicks getting dycktimized.
3) Smart – He doesn’t have to be smart. Who doesn’t like role playing. I can be the teacher and he can be the student. And I DO spank at my school. Owwwwwwwww
4) Functional Crackhead – Crackheads are some sneaky, I mean crafty individuals. They can always come up on flat screen tvs, the latest video system. Pretty much anything. We’re in a recession, so I gotta take what I can get.
5) Baby Daddy five times – Shyt that means I won’t have to worry about him wanting me to have kids. I can keep my size 4 figure. WHooDeeHooo
** Please note this list is a joke!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:05 am
I’m ready to throw my furry slipper @ V.Renee and this whole comment for making me laugh this dayum hard before noon!!
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
“Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra ”
Pics or it didn’t happen
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:11 am
““Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra ”
Pics or it didn’t happen”
i agree. give up the goods
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:54 am
I do not how to upload pictures and create a link to them. That’s my story and Im sticking to it.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:15 am
***looking around my office for invisible people to give to v renee***
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:13 am
“** Please note this list is a joke!”
Thank God.
I recoiled in terror just off #1 alone…
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:18 am
You and me both, she had me really concerned for a sec.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:11 am
me too…i was like, man, Low Standard Meet V. Renee. you have lots in common.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:23 am
“HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra”
Not at work…but tonight I’m gonna be a french maid!
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:34 am
For Halloween I am lady Godiva
Im dressed right now as I am off work today….
HATE ON HATERS!
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
LOL @ IH sitting around her house in full Halloween regalia @ 10:34 am…JUST BECAUSE she doesn’t have to go to work today. That’s so gangsta.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Girl IH’s costume is a mater piece of minimalism I am sure. Since she’s Lady Godiva, i.e. didn’t feel like getting dressed, I imagine she is butt naked with her hair draping.
Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Love this whole post. Too funny, V!!!!!
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
i’m dressing up as cat woman, but i need more vinyl…
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qUAGMIRE Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:44 pm
bUT LESS IT THE NEW MORE. GGGGIGIGITY
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“btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19″
Even for the not so challenged with reading comprehension, this topic still forces people to think of red flags (whether they are someone else’s or not). My point: you will just get a repeat of replies from a couple of days ago. You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:19 am
You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
any other suggestions, or is the advil cold medication you’re currently taking because you got sick after sleeping with damp blankets making you drowsy again?
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:01 pm
You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
so my VTA dopaminergic projections to my NAc were clearly functional last night. thai food and good company?? reward indeed!! but my dorsal raphe nucleus seratoninergic projections may have increased firing because i started to “feel some type of way” about you know who. houston, we may have a problem.
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Gem, you’re truly outrageous. truly, truly, truly outrageous.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I loved that show.
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:14 pm
what?? did i say something out of order? you know my arcuate fasiculus be actin up sometimes and words get all jumbled misunderstood.
Clingy is cool if it’s a lot of attention. But when a guy calls a ridiculous amount of times each day and gets upset when you don’t call him back right away, then it’s a problem.
My Wild Cherry Flags are…
1) Musical Tastes – As long as it’s not country or heavy metal.
2) Body Type – I prefer guys who are athletic & built, but will date skinny guys too.
3) Profession – Most of the guys that I’ve dated are engineers or business professionals, but really don’t care as long as they’re passionate about what they do.
4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:18 am
4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized that if i was forced to choose between an ultra-political liberal and an ultra political conservative, i’d probably choose the latter. interesting and sh*t
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:29 am
“as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized that if i was forced to choose between an ultra-political liberal and an ultra political conservative, i’d probably choose the latter. interesting and sh*”
Please expound
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:38 am
no
V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Hahaha. I love how you shut me down. Reminds me of my daddy.
The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Hahaha. I love how you shut me down. Reminds me of my daddy.
lol…this sounds like the chorus in a keyshia cole song featuring trina
Purple flags
1. friends with my friends~ you aint got to be friends with them heiffers but minimally just tolerate them and play nice when we go out together.
2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally
3. be greek affiliated~as someone who is actively involved in her sorority I just need you to understand and respect that. It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football.
4. college degree ~ don’t want to restate what has already been said upthread.
5. have children~while I can respect that you have children with an ex understand that I am not looking for drama, I don’t go looking for them but its fine if it comes about
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:21 am
2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally
you know whats funny…when women have this as a deal-breaker, but then complain about the lack of eligible men, lol. its you, you do realize that the more money you make, the smaller your already shrinking pool is gonna get, right?
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:31 am
Champie this is when i was fresh out of undergrad, I have not had this expectation since 1997
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:39 am
i wasnt speaking to you in particular, just the women who still feel this way.
relax and sh*t. your jabs are coming, but this wasn’t one of them.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:53 am
“relax and sh*t. your jabs are coming..”
*Snicker*
Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:27 am
“It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football”
There are very few basketball games played on Sunday.
*Pats IH on the head
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:32 am
BABy Dorian, **offering Dorian a seat**, many a pick up game in my area are played on Sunday morning and afternoon, that is what I was referring to.
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A lot of these may repeat what’s been said. I hate getting to the party late…
1. Having a college degree. This is not indicative of intelligence as I met many dumb a$$ people in grad school. So if a brother is gainfully employed doing something he enjoys, I’d be okay with him hot having that piece of paper.
2. Has children. I like the kids and though not ideal I can accept his.
3. Been married before. As long as he has been divorced a good year, I can holla at a dude with an ex wife.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:55 am
“I hate getting to the party late…”
Niglet, you dont know how to be on time for NOTHING!! Don’t ack like this yo’ first time being late.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
Why you gotta put my business out on VSB like that?
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gIGGLES Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
dID i ANOUNCE THAT i AM GOING TO BE IN THE REGION COME tURKEY dAY. iF YALL GONNA BE AROUND OR GOING OUT GROUP STYLE PLEASE HOLLER @ YA BOY
LOL
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Who is this? lol.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:19 pm
NAmAdUw
yOU HAVE TO READ IT UPSIDE DOWN IN A MIRRORS REFLECTION W/ THE CAPS FLIPPED.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Nevermind. I know. lol.
When will you be in town?
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:22 pm
wEDNESDAY THROUGH sUNDAY
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:28 pm
sHOULD BE wEDNESDAY THROUGH sUNDAY
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:16 am
“So if a brother is gainfully employed doing something he enjoys”
this is gospel..passion is what brings in the real paper anyway.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:21 am
“passion is what brings in the real paper anyway”
yup
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Luvvie Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
“passion is what brings in the real paper anyway.”
Yeah that aint what all the passionate broke artists are saying
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Devilishly Alise (Professional) Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:17 pm
that is exactly what I say… lol
Hmmm… I guess my wild cherry flags would be
1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations.
2. One baby/One twinkie away ladies… (shout out to Memphis Bleek)
3. Women w/ kids. I love kids & plan on getting into education. Plus the older you get, and the longer you stay single, it’s more likely that some women you meet will have at least 1 child
4. No college degree… i’m cool with that as long as ya a$$ has a plan, goal, or vision
5. Pudges… nothing wrong with a little pudge. You don’t have to have the Janet Jackson abs, baby. Now bend ova…
I’ll come up with more later
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:24 am
1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations.
good distinction.
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:34 am
“Now bend ova…”
EEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!
LMAO!
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:54 am
::appaluse::
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:51 am
“1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations. ”
Yeah, at least I’m glass half full…if you will. It’s been a long time coming, but you officially have a fan in me, SC.
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Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:07 pm
lol i’m with you, 8th. *signing under 8th’s name on SC’s fan list*
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Ok, ok – after yesterdays post Ima have to sign on to SC fan list as well. SC – you’s good people. If I wasn’t busy I’d think about freakin’ you….
*this was like my fourth song reference today. I’m turning into Panama.*
Wood Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
As SC’s I’m going to officially hate.
He’s ugly and you should freak me instead.
FREAK ME PLEASE.
AND WE CAN DO THOSE THINGS THAT I WOULDN’T SPEAK OF EVEN WITH A GUN TO MY HEAD!
J/K
BUT ONLY ABOUT SC BEING UGLY.
I STILL WANNA DO THAT FREAKY STUFF.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:09 pm
this tickled my … um nevermind
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:05 pm
oooooohhhhhweeeeee…. my man might have to thank you. he might be in for the best night of his life….
overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:54 am
SC, I appreciate this list:)
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A Londoner’s perspective on cherry flags:
1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*
2. Men with occasional HDR (horrible d**ck report): Atleast those days you don’t have to worry about your hair getting all nappy and can use the 80 quid to add yet another gadget to your private toy collection.
3. Men with a stammer (stutter) : Arguing with someone who cant get his point across is so much more fun!
EB
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:22 am
OMG. This.is.just.wrong.
LMAO.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:25 am
this is why i’m a big fan of across the pond chicks.
welcome and sh*t
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:36 am
“Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*”
i need some Bridget Jone’s Diary accent to go with this..
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:36 am
ROTFL!!!!
LMAO!!!!
“1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*”
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am
MEDIC!!!!
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N.I.A. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
LMAO!! Hilarious!
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PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:46 am
Can we add “HDR” to the VSB glossary that is still in development?? Pleeease??
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Lil'T Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Dead.
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1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*
This right here just made me choke.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am
“This right here just made me choke.”
Work on that gag reflex, V. You will need it to be ready if you are ever sucking on a man’s tits.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 11:47 am
Done.
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V Renee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Im practicing as I type.
Searching for my Gag Be Gone strawberry gel.
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My WCF
1. An alum, fan, or any fan who wishes he was an alum of Michigan. As an alum of The Ohio State University, he would normally be an automatic “hell no”, but I like a little sports drama in my relationships
2. A little more to love; I don’t mind him being a little out of shape or even a little lazy in the exercise dept. b/c I have a ton of ideas of how to burn hundreds of calories while lying down…or sitting…whatever.
3. A baby’s dady. As long he is taking care of his responsbilities to his child, I am cool with that. In fact, I will definitely have a lot of respect for him doing what he is supposed to do without the court forcing him to do it
4. A picky eater. I know I don’t eat everything, and I won’t try everything b/c I’m vegetarian going on vegan, so I wouldn’t expect him to want to try any and everything edible…or maybe I should say consumable.
I’m sure I have more, so I will be back later….
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:40 pm
thanks for stopping by and sh*t
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Awwww… i heart this topic. Everybody’s list is so sweet and funny..
my wcf’s (or purple w/ lemon cuz i makes some mean Koolaid) are
#1 – punctuality – I’m late for EVERYTHING!!! at least 15 minutes… i tells this up front and matter of factly. I need a grace period…. so if he’s not a punctual type dude who am i to complain about that.
# 2 – height – ehh… i’m a tallish chick (5′7”) but as long as he’s at least 5′10” and has some bulk on him he doesn’t have to be a skyscraper
#3 – being hood… I definitely feel like i need a man with SOME hood credentials but if he’s a total geek and has never even saw a project i may be able to work with that as long as his heart don’t pump koolaid.
#4 -skinny – i’ve never liked a skinny dude… but if his personality made up for his lack of girth and circumfrence i could prolly work with it.
#5 – melanin deficient – older I get and the freer i get, the more attractive i find men of other races
#6 – music tastes… as long as it’s not slasher music or something like that he can listen to whatever he likes.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:41 pm
these are good wild cherry flags and sh*t
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OK…I am not reading comments today…because I just stopped at the ‘brary for a hot 16 on my way home from an interview…(pray for me, it went well) so I got no time for the VSB shenanigans cuz I got a lunch date in a few…
get back to my mission, break out the whip cream and the cherries and then we go through all the fly positions…oh..wait…um….I mean the post…right…ok…(FOCUS GOOD)
CHAMP…I’m with you…I prefer clingy to cold if I have to choose between the two extremes…and as far as the nasatall…the 25/20’s in my gene pool tried to get mine, but I got a smack-able, handful back there and have gotten no complaints…so I apreciate your propensity for not making the young and the rumpless a dealbreaker…as for my dealbreakers…ummmm….let’s see..
As the CF(uk)O of GOOD GIRL Inc, I must expound upon the types of behaviors/experiences/attittudes that do not meet my minimum requirements for employment. If you:
-have a FELONY
-have 3 or more co-parents
-exhibit ni99a syndrome
-have never lived alone
-have no college (or military) experience to speak of
-have Diva Dude tendencies
-lack at least 2 close, personal (straight) MALE friends
-have a slim p3nis and/or Napoleon syndrome
-were eligible to vote and did not
Please do not apply for a position with our company! We are not publicly traded and therefore reserve the right to refuse consideration for our phenomenal positions if any of the following criteria have been met.
Thank you for your interest in GOOD GIRL Inc and as always… be GOOD or be GOOD AT IT! (wink)
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Instead of not reading the comments you should have read the post.
No snark-o
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm
can people catch a dam@n break today..maybe she just wanted to get that out. why is errybody tryna be the reading rainbow police today?
**whirls damp dust ruffle***
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overit Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:38 pm
THANK YOU Comeback Girl…yes, I’m still mad lol.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:07 pm
thats ok…clearly some of us are going as Levar(ena) Burton for Halloween today..and we’re extra excited about it.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:08 pm
nO THE RULES OF THE GAME IS STAY ON TOPIC. cHAMP MAH NIZZEL COUNT THIS STUFF OFF.
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BigBuck Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:21 pm
NICCA! Back back! I’m just glad to see my baby stop through, so I don’t care if she wants to talk about purple striped elephants, NO HATING!
I’m sorry for yelling and sh!t, but then again if you are that sensitive phuck you.
Don’t mess with my E-wife. Thank you!
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sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
nAH SHE NEEDS TO GET IT CUZ. sHE READ THE POST JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. aND SHE NEEDS TO GET IT DOG.
‘YOU COULD EITHER CHASE THESE WOMEN OR CHASE THIS MONEY’ i’M CHASIN THIS MONEY.
PBG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Whateva…complete snark-o.
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A couple that just came to me…
Boughetto women. Well seeing as how I’m living in the mecca of boughettoness, I guess I have to make this a grape flag. Sure you can’t eat at Applebees, Red Lobster, Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s; yet you don’t know what a salad fork is? Whatever. Sure you hate it when ni99as are too cheap to take a high class gal like yourself to Morton’s and Ruth’s Chris, yet you continously order your petit ribeye well done because you “don’t eat raw meat”. Mmhmm. Hey who am I to judge that you refuse to drink bottom shelf liquors yet have a wide collection of Sutter Home in your crib? SMH
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
“yet you continously order your petit ribeye well done because you “don’t eat raw meat”. ”
im sorry..Im well done from the cradle to the grave (ive been told im a ghetto fab foodie)
..i don’t like to see pink at all.Lea & Perrins can’t even mask the taste of runny blood…
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:22 pm
My cousin orders her steaks rare.
I always tell her, why don’t you just order that ish raw?
Cut into it and blood goes running ‘cross the plate.
I don’t even wanna eat my food now, thanks.
Medium well, please and thank you.
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:33 pm
i dunno Ms. T..i can “taste pink” even in medium well..really well done steak has a nice “chard” taste almost like chocolate…
see (Dorian) my Boughetto @zz can EXPLAIN why i like my meat well done.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:40 pm
‘i can “taste pink”’
You know you done set yourself up right??
::giggle::
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:18 pm
i think people know not to touch dat ms. t.
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:15 pm
*SECRET SNICKER* AHU AHAHAHAHAA
Dorian G. Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
“see (Dorian) my Boughetto @zz can EXPLAIN why i like my meat well done”
That still doesn’t make it right. For all that we might as well go to Outback and get you the $12.99 “ribeye” and you get it well done because it’ll taste exactly the same.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
im not opposed to outback..i just know that i prolly wont be gettin no chateaubriand …there know what i mean son?
Jen Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 1:09 pm
LMAO
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I like my filet mignon butterflied please, cause I dont do pink or red in my meat
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sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
sAY MEAT FOR ME ONE MORE TIME…
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:27 pm
let me whisper it in your ear, come here.
MEAT
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:50 pm
cAREFUL YOU MIGHT GET BIT
*gROWELLS SOFT YET FERVENTLY*
*pLAYING OOH BABY i LIKE IT RAW IN MY HEAD*
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:07 pm
WOOOOOWWW… you had way to much fun on the streets today, didn’tcha?
sWEEP tHE lEG Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
pLEASE BELIEVE IT. i SEE YOU AIN’T FAR B-HIND ME. uHM YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT HOME SAFE IN YOUR CONDITION?
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 5:55 pm
sheeit… why u think i’m still in my office…
good thing for me i take the train. i should be fine by the time i get back to my car….
Gem of the Ocean Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
filet mignon is the only type of steak i prefer cooked medium. other cuts can be medium well.
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most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…
~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini line, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:48 pm
this is interesting.
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The Champ say’s
“i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts.”
You and me both brother. You and me both.
I watched that Chris Brown, T-Pain video from time to time just for that moment.
(Doing the Homer gargle when he thinks of something delicious.)
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The Champ Reply:
October 31st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
bria’s unbelievable. in fact, i think she should just change her name to “bria’s unbelievable”.
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most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…
~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini area, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.
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Sorry to be tardy to the party (a la Brian from Family Guy )
and I aint mad that yall calling people out for not staying on topic I mean who wants to get 500 plus comments to their blog if half of them arent even staying with the topic!! thats some bullshit..but on with my list…..
skinny men- and im talking about bird chest skinny, I actually dont mind a man who is bony sometimes I actually prefer it especially if he is tall….that ups the chance that he is packing…8 out 10 doctors agree!
ugly feet- I could give two shits if a man has nice looking toes, long as he can clip them toenails his feet can look like they throwin up gang signs
college education- this has been referenced before ditto to all those that spoke on it …and just as long as he dont come at me with that “college education is just a conspiracy to drive black people into debt” I actually had a guy say that shit to me
No swagger- this was spoke on to, as long as he is not a straight up bitch he doesnt have to be the all extra cool, all the ladies pause when he steps into the room dude
Kids- this is only if he is at an age where its pretty much expected, like 35 or older if I was to date someone that old I would expect him to have some children just leave that baby mama drama shit at the door….
If I have more I’ll be back
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Oh and sorry about the language didnt know the rules of engagement, my bad
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Hey there day-me! It’s been forever!
Cherry red flags huh…
okay.
#1 smokers: It doesn’t bother me because I was raised around it.
#2 Men with a small gut or are a bit out of shape: I’m not that shallow. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if they tried to work that off but a little bit of this and that doesn’t bother me. I like teddy bears. They’re good for cuddles.
#3 Ugly feet / The basketball toes!: Well..I’m not a HUGE fan of jacked up feet but if he keeps his socks on it’s not a deal breaker. Plus I’m the kind of woman who would give my man a pedicure with my own hands.
#4 Hair Loss?!!! This is a big one. I’m 30 now and as I get older I’m noticing that this is something many men in the age bracket that I date are subject to. As long as he doesn’t look like George Jefferson with the two poodle puffs, then it’s all good. He just has to keep it very short or shave it all off.
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