whenever we bring up a topic dealing with red flags, deal-breakers, and other undesirable relationship qualities, the utter disdain for clinginess is repeatedly brought up…easily the muse for at least 300 comments. seemingly on par with serial infidelity, anti-intellectuallism, and crackheadedness, the general public sentiment behind the idea of “a clingy person” apparently ranks somewhere between “star jones” and “david koresh” with pretty much every vsb regular. well, every vsb regular…except me.
now obviously, being with a clingon wouldn’t be my optimum choice. although i’m not a space nazi, i do appreciate some alone time for writing, metacognition, “pastor racing“, kool-aid procuring, and other leisurely independant activities. but, if i were forced to choose between polar opposites “clingy” and “cold“, “cold” would get dropped quicker than siohvaughn wade. personally, i’d much rather be bombarded with attention than be in a romantic relationship devoid of it.
again, i’m not saying that it can definitely be annoying, but i can live with it. there are worse qualities a person can have (ie: “thimbleheadedness” and “being puerto rican”).
the clingy conundrum has made me think of other personal attributes and behaviors that are common red flags and/or deal-breakers for many people…but really don’t bother me much at all. deal-breakers for most everyone else, but “ehhh…its cool. its no big deal” for me.
for the sake of the entry, and in honor of my favorite flavor of kool-aid (which noone else seems to like), lets call these wild cherry flags
nassatalls
although i’ll forever remain excitedly intrigued by the presence of a philly with a exquisite booty depth and a perfect ass-to-waist ratio, its not a prerequisite. in fact, my ex-fiancee was about nassatall as one can get. i’d even joke with her that she had an “extended back”.
again, though. let me make this very clear. i’m NOT saying that i’m not an assfan, lol. sh*t, if i could, i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts. i’m just saying that i could live happily without it.
a political conservative
…as long as she votes for obama nov. 4th, i could care less how she feels the other 364 days of the year, lol
a virgin
of course, if women were on sale at giant eagle, i wouldnt intentionally go shopping in the virgin aisle…but if one happened to fall into my shopping cart, i wouldn’t be headed back there a day later, reciept in hand, screaming at the store manager for selling me defective goods. i’d definitely wait at least a week before doing that.
thats its for me right now.
friends, fans, serial fellators, funders, and followers of vsb.com, what are some of your wild cherry flags?
—the champ
***btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19***
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Oh, well, hello Luvvie,
That’s right, I’ve been here waiting for you. Wow, I can hear your pulse racing from across the room. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of space here. It’s bed time, why don’t you just relax, slip into something comfortable, and post yourself right up under me. Yeah, just like that. . .
*Shaking fist at Kamakula*
bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaa k, this just made my night perfect. i can now go drink in peace.
Kamakula, I’m flattered that you were waiting for me. Did you bring me something? I know your nights ain’t right without me on top or below you. Your week must have been lonely with me missing. All is well now. I am here.
But Monday, we BEGIN again! I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to a DUEL (of 1st post).
NOW, to bed I go.
Luvvie, you know I always come prepared for your attentions. You should already know there’s no need to demand satisfaction, I think we both know how these things always turn out
I’ll admit, while I do enjoy having your on top, what’s more fun is the tussling as we jockey for that position.
Bring it
get a room and sh*t
It’s already been broughten! And Champ, is your toast late being delivered?
” I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to a DUEL (of 1st post).”
The Simpsons? You just made me LOL. For real!!
And YES! Simpsons rocks!
LMAO
Ummm…..yeah ok
I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.
I finally got it
I guess this is what happens when I don’t lick the Champs toast before I get here.
I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production.
yeah…it did seem like some of the lines that could be in “zack and miri…”
“I had to read this whole thread like 4 times before I realized you weren’t rehearsing for the next VSB pron production. ”
I’m still not convinced. I wonder if they need a producer?
Well, the first raw video has already been shot and the talent being who it is, there is PLENTY of raw footage from almost every angle you can imagine, and a few you probably cannot.
So, if you want to be involved on the cutting room floor, let me know.
Oh My
Kama, I thought we weren’t gonna tell folks yet. We were sposed to announce the Luvvie-Kamakula tape in an extreme media blitz.
And a soundtrack with Diddy (can’t stop, won’t stop), T-pain, and Rihanna. Yes, we got soundtrack.
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
Pick me, pick me!!! My “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” is definitely top notch
I’m liking the P Diddy song choice
.
I wouldn’t worry, any Luvvie-Kamakula extravaganza will always be an extreme media event.
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
i just read this. Hilarious!
P.S. We need someone with a sexy voice to say “Bom Chicka Wah Wah” so we can embed it in the tape.
bom chicka wah wah is sooooooooo 90′s p*rn. nowadays the soundtrack is the male “stars” rapping
Champ, you are a bitter enabler! How many chances are you gonna give VSBers to list the INFINITE, tome-length list of “flags? Mofos gon come up here talking nonsense like:
“You know what I hate? Them people that have the AUDACITY to have asthma and breath. Who they think they is? Shoot, all sick and stuff. The NERVE!”
and
“I can’t STAND mofos who like Thai food. I mean, why can’t they just be satisfied with a Big Mac? International food lovers are a no-no.”
Champ, you’ve opened floodgates that will require an ark from Noah to survive. This will be GREAT for me b/c there will be no shortage of things to snark at.
Oh, and you know them mofos with atoms that collide?? They piss me off too!!
bwahahahahahahahahahah!
I’ve truly missed Luvvie around here…
You and your liliputian fists are funny as shyt, Luvvie. Glad to see you back.
“liliputian fists ”
*CTFU*
All this talk of Luvvie’s tiny fists, I really feel like I need a picture.
You and your liliputian fists are funny as shyt, Luvvie. Glad to see you back.
lol…why do i imagine a regular sized person with fists the size of a kitten’s paws?
Luvvie isn’t “regular sized”, Mr. Champs. She’s of the “Petite Persuasion” (as am I). We have small fists/ears/feet, etc! It’s developmentally appropriate. Leave Luvvie alone!
Thank you, PBG!!!!
I will join the petite persuasion bandwagon. I don’t need another guy telling me how little and cute my feet/ears/hands are d@mn it…I get it and sh!t.
I actually think your hands and feet are normal sized. I need to see them again. lol.
V, thats is because you hav freakishly tiny feet urself. Of course you don’t think my hands are small.
when Luvvie sends in her VSB shirt pic she should profile the fists.
I concur.
“lol…why do i imagine a regular sized person with fists the size of a kitten’s paws?”
i was eating a Cheese Danish when i read that and literally almost choked. our office secretary came into my office to see what happened. lol.
did she try to perfrom the heimlich, cause that wouldve been real funny
no, by that time, i just had tears rolling down my face and was speaking so she opted to not call 911…
that just reminded me of that lawrence welk show skit on SNL…did you see this? http://www.hulu.com/watch/37752/saturday-night-live-the-lawrence-welk-show
And Lil T, I dig you for using the word “lilliputian”
or someone will say: “I hate people that roll their r’s but you know it aint no deal brrrreakerrrrrr and shyt, I’m just sayin yo..”
ok, enough of me falling into the luvvie snark snare, i will not allow your sarcastic energy to enter my world…..until the morning…
* I am a devil for Halloween
i’M NOT SO SURE WHAT TO BE FOR hALLOWEEN. i AM HOWEVER PLANNING TO GO TO A MASQUERRRRADE, AND THE pHILLIES PARRRRADE.
is your a$$ out there yelling like a drunken moron? i can’t hear myself think… then again, I ain’t doin no work… except hanging PHILLIES BANNERS OUT THE WINDOW!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*can anyone tell i’ve already had a guiness with my boss this morning?*
Am I the only one that’s mad at this person for typing in all caps?? Getcho big e-yeller face…
Champ, you’ve opened floodgates that will require an ark from Noah to survive. This will be GREAT for me b/c there will be no shortage of things to snark at.
you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
its not her fault. its her nature.
“you proved yourself right..LOL this is actually about things you DONT snark at but look who was ready to be all “snarky”
Shayd, please look down at some of the responses, and you will see that my concern is valid. I will snark away. :-p
“You know what I hate? Them people that have the AUDACITY to have asthma and breath. Who they think they is? Shoot, all sick and stuff. The NERVE!”
and
“I can’t STAND mofos who like Thai food. I mean, why can’t they just be satisfied with a Big Mac? International food lovers are a no-no.”
lmao and this person would NOT date me–i have asthma (where’s my inhaler??) AND i had thai food just last night. d@mn haters!
I happen to LOVE wild cherry Kool-Aid. As a matter of fact, all Kool-Aid is heavenly w/lemon juice added.
I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.
I happen to LOVE wild cherry Kool-Aid. As a matter of fact, all Kool-Aid is heavenly w/lemon juice added.
Yeah PBG it is.. and so is Black Cherry…another one that doesnt get credit he deserves.
Wild Cherry kool-aid is alright as long as it’s in a cup or picture and not a chick’s hair.
“picture” was suppose to read “pitcher”.
Ooo, Black Cherry Kool-aid takes me back. Love that stuff. I try to do the grown-up version of the laid now – off-brand crystal light. *sniff* I miss my k-laid, I do……
Don’t turn your back on it and get Crystal light, go get you some real Kool Aid
“I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.”
***number 1***
Get that boney azz “Number 1″ outta here, Mr.Champs! I’m checkin’ for all 8′s n’ shyt.
I think your over/under might work today…lol
Oh I get it (now that I see the other numbers down the thread).
Whatever, Mr.Champs. I don’t have any WCFs. I’m 35…I did all my settling in my 20′s. Game over, son!
i TEND TO GET LEFT OUT WHEN i SAY i LIKE ORANGE KOOL AID. tRUE STORY 1 TIME i WENT TO GHETTO BURGER AND HAD THE HI-C. i CAME UP OFF THAT STRAW AND SAID ‘OOOOOH THAT’S THAT THANG.’
let me guess who this is?? hmmmm
Orange is gay, son.
Not that there’s anything wrong w/that.
AND NOT LIKEING PEANUT BUTTER MEANS YOU DON’T LIKE PEANUS NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG W/ THAT.
Cuz I (fake) don’t like you means I don’t like peanus.
OK, I see you, Mr.Alpha & Omega.
Oh. darn.
Whatever. Was.
I. Thinking?
Of course you’re e-charming n’ shyt, w/your daily name changes and spelling errors that make random elementary schools all over America spontaneously combust.
I must e-have you. I must.
i TEND TO GET LEFT OUT WHEN
Do you also get left out for typing in all caps??
dayum.
oOH DID i USE ALL CAPS. cHECK AND READ EVEN WHAT YOU COPPIED N PASTED.
*WAVING BYE BYE*
sEE YOU WHEN YOU GET OUT THE BURN UNIT
I’m sure you like orange soda too, huh?
::snicker::
iF THERE’S NO NONCARBONATED OPTION YES i HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO PARTAKE R U READY TO TANGERAY?
leave wu alone y’all you know hes extra VSB
I know, but it’s just so dayum fun.
tHANKS BABY BUT i GOT THIS. tHIS IS BLOOD FOR BLOOD AND BY THE GALLONS. tHIS IS THE OLD DAYS THE ALL OR NOTHIN DAYS AND i’M READY FOR WAR.
You are not alone. Orange kool-aid is my second favorite flavor after the deceased Purplesaurus Rex.
You know Ocho Pan is always down for her Wu-boo.
wHAT ABOUT BLUE RASPBERRY SLUSHIES @ THE MOVIES?
Always a yummy choice. Much like myself.
aWWWE YEAH!!
“I’m pretty firm on my deal-breakers. Please…no dumb, skinny, non-drinking, sports-hating, skinny, ambition-less, boring, skinny, testicularly-challenged, bad daddy, skinny mofo’s look my way. Please.”
Sounds like you need some BigBuck in your life! It’s too bad you are on the petite team. BigBuck only deals with size 14 and up, and he also speaks in third person at times to sound cool and sh!t. I don’t think it works though.
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
“you need some BigBuck in your life!”
I think this is Tshirt worthy,
I would wear it for Big Buck
“I would wear it for Big Buck”
from what i know, thats not all you’d wear for bigbuck
My petite only means “short”. I’m a size 8/10. Size 14 on a 4’11″ frame=diabetes/stroke/heart disease. Or so says DoctorLady. Plus, it ain’t cute.
me likes you Big Buck… you make me smile.
who doesn’t like wild cherry kool-aid, that’s like the first flavor ever made, ain’t it? wild cherry and blue houdini were my favorites as a growing girl in mccandless twp.
anyway, i have a few wild cherry flags:
1. height deficiency- i’m a shorty, so technically i don’t ‘need’ all that height.
2. crooked teeth- as long as he brushes and goes to the dentist.
3. no college degree (as long as he reads and enjoys learning new things)
4. corny humor/behavior…i can be corny too so that could work. as long as he doesn’t call me schmoopie or s3xual chocolate in public, we’re cool.
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
that’s all i have for now…back to work.
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
Oh no it hasn’t, Sis. Patterson. No it hasn’t.
***glitter***
no college degree (as long as he reads and enjoys learning new things)
yeah this doesnt bother me either… I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees
“I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees”
At one point in time, I thought that this just was not possible. Then…I went back to school last year.
Lawd Jesus…save the chirren.
“I know a lot of dumb a$$es with degrees”
I work with about 150 of them.
This is truth.
shucks, i know dumb ninjas with phd’s.
though most of their dumbness falls in the way of common sense. i think that if you go to college, there should be a class in common sense.
yOU KNOW SOMETIMES THERE ARE SOME HOOD ONES TOO. mAKES ME GO HMMM.
I’m going to punch you in your eye
And I think I’ll jab him the throat.
i ALMOST WANT TO SEE THE LITTLE FIST GIVE IT A SHOT. i AM TRAINED IN SHIELD & SPEAR.
2. crooked teeth- as long as he brushes and goes to the dentist.
I also co sign this..as long as they are not yellowed, missing, or decayed…
“5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*”
Definitely one of my wild cherry flags…lol
*Team Chunk Represent*
Team Chunk Representin’!!!
yea-ee-yeah!
heyyyyy….
oKAY REAL TALK i HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A PETTITE FRIEND THAT GOT SMOTHERED AND SHE IS AN ATHSMATIC. sHE HAD TO START SCREAMING BITING KICKING AND PUNCHING TO GET OLE DUDE TO WAKE UP AND ROLE OVER. SMH
That sounds more like morbidly obese, than “more to love”…lol
Hope your friend is okay.
oH SHE MADE IT OUT AIGHT. gOOD THING CUZ SHE GOT A LIL GIIRL TOO.
representin’ hard with my tipsy at 11:40 in the AM a$$….
“4. corny humor/behavior…i can be corny too so that could work. ”
word? really? you can be corny too? who would have thunk it
this coming from the guy who tells the same 5 jokes everyday…
Here, i’ll put it in terms you can understand…
VSB: where the champ is predictable
*shots fired*
its the same 6 jokes, thank you.
get it right doodoohead
1. height deficiency- i’m a shorty, so technically i don’t ‘need’ all that height.
5. “more to love”- a little belly never hurt nobody…*giggling*
I love me some teddy bear dudes. And short guys are definitely not a deal breaker for me…sometimes they are the ones that work harder for it.
“And short guys are definitely not a deal breaker for me…sometimes they are the ones that work harder for it.”
or have napoleon complexes…there’s usually no middle ground.
“or have napoleon complexes…there’s usually no middle ground.”
Sad but true.
a friend of mine used to say why is it that when a short guy is arrogant he’s accused of having a “napoleon complex”, but when it’s a tall guy, he’s just an a$$hole? …lol
Alas that’s the other side of coin. You’re right…there really is no middle ground.
my wild cherry flags include:
1. music taste. i recognise that not everybody gets down with hip hop/soul/the occasional amazing electronica dj like i do. my last/current lover’n'friend listens almost exclusively to headbanging metal. which is cool, it’s kinda hot to have $ex to…. i heard.
2. occasional ashiness. now if a fool stays on that ashy larry tip, he’ll barely make it to a handshake, let alone a relationship. but i understand – maybe you ran out of jergens due to pastor racing. maybe the coldness in the d is messing with your skin situation. it’s aii, just let me teach you the wonders of – um – body oil.
3. non-appreciation of some aspects of african cuisine i.e. goat meat, guinea fowl, and chilli (to a certain extent). i understand not everyone likes the sensation of having their tongue on fire. sadly, it also means you might get to miss out on the best food of all time prepared by yours truly.
i’ll get back at this later.
lmao @ “occasional ashiness”. I keep some lotion in my purse and don’t mind sharing cuz I tend to be a bit ashy myself. Especially my hands, which I wash at least 25 times a day!
Too funny! I have to throw lotion on my man before he leaves the house, else he’ll do the Ashy Larry all day long. I think somewhere in his psyche he equates ashiness with manliness….fool. Gotta love him, though.
ugh…i had an ex like this regarding lip gloss (chapstick for the fellas). d@mn it stop licking your lips and making it worse and take this f^cking chapstick, or hey baby let me give you a kiss…
i keep lotion on hand as well. i promote moisturized skin at all times.
i keep lotion on hand as well
hate to break this to you gemmy baby, but that aint lotion
music taste, that’s a good one puff. i went out with a guy who liked that customer song by raheem devaughn and gurrrrrrl…i cracked the fcuk up, (sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.) but his music taste, was not a deal breaker. but panama? he might cut a ninja for playing that mess! ain’t that right, brotha arsonist?
sorry folks, but with a line like you can have me supersized with some lovin’ on the side is begging for laugh out loud pointing and gasping.)
yeah that shyt was ridiculous… and so is s.e.x message.. WTF?
I’m really gonna need ya’ll to lay off the homie Raheem. Please and thank you.
Although, “Customer” was a song I really could’ve done without.
Raheem gets a cherry flag for that one. It’s not right, but it’s ok.
Raheem is good, but “Customer” was that bullish.
sorry PBG but i don’t actually understand Raheem’s appeal. his albums are largely ungood. he has a good voice but whoopty damn do. “woman” was WAAAAAY overrated. that song got so many “positive music” points that folks didn’t take the time to realize that there wasnt really anything special about that song. he just said “i appreciate women” and chicks swooned.
sad when that’s all it takes. thats like people thinking alicia keys is the most talented chick out there…she gets lightskint AND positive-by-not-being-negative points.
That’s ok, PeeJay. You don’t have to understand. I have bad taste, remember?And I didn’t particularly love that “Woman” song either. But I’m a fan, for sure.
That song makes me want to throw midgets from moving trains.
You do that too? I thought i was the only one….
amazingly, i didn’t wretch at that song. you see, despite my music snobbery, i also have a deep appreciation for ignorantly entertaining music. in fact, i’ve come to appreciate nearly all music. lol…i just know the difference between GOOD music and music i can APPRECIATE.
raheem devaughn’s “customer” and “s.e.x. message”…i can appreciate them, but they are not good.
a “friend” has joked that in the mornings, the only parts i lotion are the visible ones (hands, arm, neck). she said i was subliminally ashy. although “subliminal” doesnt really work there, it still was funny
You’ll be caught by the Moisture Police soon enough, Champ. We slather the floor with lotion and by the time you slip and slide through it you’re properly lotioned. It’s like trapping an animal. A very ashy animal.
lol @ A very ashy animal.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
“We slather the floor with lotion and by the time you slip and slide through it you’re properly lotioned. It’s like trapping an animal. A very ashy animal.”
imagining the Champ writhing in your lotion trap
hahahahaha this visual of Champ being forced into moisture is awesome
Aw damn. I just realized that he’s gonna have a field day w/ the phrase “forced into moisture”
*waiting for champ*
***pulling up a chair next to Luvvie***
***sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to pull the chairs from underneath them***
***sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to pull the chairs from underneath them***
This should read “sneaking up behind luvvie and intellectual hedonist, and using an ashy hand to cop a feel.”
@ V Renee cause you know that is exactly what happened, it would be s3xual harrassment if it were unwanted…
I never understood why people do this. By this I mean lotion only the visible parts. Do you want to look like jabba the hut by age 60? Just take 5 minutes and lotion people. Your skin will thank you.
I was gonna put ashy on my wild cherry kool-aid list!! I only care about the parts that are showing…
Other ‘wild cherries’ include
1.kids w/ more than one BM- depending on how it’s handled and if they’re all civil it can be OK
2.Crappy car-As long as you aren’t asking me for rides…..When you wnat to front-rent one.
3. Going to the ti**y bar- Go on and go! Ain’t taking nothing away from me cuz my pole skillz are quite shaky. lol
Will be back…
thanks for contributing, honey
LOL at Giant Eagle. Brings me back to ’02…but thats another story.
So yea, wild cherry flags:
* Guys under 6 ft. I mean, I wear heels alot when I go out (usually around 4-5 inches), so I like a man to still be taller than me, and not the other way around). However, it’s not totally a dealbreaker since I’ve dated guys under 5′ 10″ before…
*Crooked Teeth…they don’t have to be perfect, but if you’re teeth look worse than Austin Powers from the first movie (i.e. yellow, and looking, as my brother would say, like they’re throwing up gang signs), then its a no-go. Seriously, I had braces, you can get em too…
*Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.
*Crap rap listener. Like if Gucci Man and Jim Jones are your favorite rappers, then chances are, I will NOT be vibing with you at all on your music choices (or want you to make me any cd’s for the car). However, I can’t say its a total dealbreaker since I dated a guy like this.
*Athlete. I used to date them, because I used to be an athlete, and I’m obsessed with the gym (I hate lazy guys…I enjoy having workout buddies as well). I now realize I hate their hoe-dom and their arrogance. But if you can hide the fact that you are an athlete from me (don’t as me how, but some people have managed to do so), then so be it. Just expect me to find out through 411 digging and kick your @ss after the fact.
Um, I don’t think I have any more. My standards are rising due to the sheer volume of crap I seem to gravitate to/attract. But that’s another story.
I am SO with you on the first three points.
Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
along with:
- a”sensitive” man,
- an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
(he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
-a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
-a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..
i have more but its like 1am and i need sleep..
I am SO with you on the first three points.
Those “tropical punch” flags (yes..it is my fave) are total deal breakers for me..
along with:
- a”sensitive” man,
- an overly hood or would never be caught in a hood man..
(he has to have a good balance between advanced intelligence and street knowledge)
-a man who doesnt appreciate my fondness for all Bay Area sports teams..
-a man with excessive facial hair..lol i know im weird..i cant stand it..
***number 2***
***number 2***
like a muhf*cker.
fLUG YEAH
Sad part is he was probably taller than you but because you heel game is crazy, he always looked short.
Love it! And yes, I realize that I own over 50 pairs of shoes.
But don’t get me wrong…I’m already 5′ 5″ (and 1/2)…so in heels at 5′ 10″ I’m taller than a few of the guys I’ve been out with recently.
Same here. I’m a wee bit taller than 5’5″ but because of my shoes I’m pushing 5’9, 5’10″, seeing eye to eye with average height dudes.
Over 50 pair? Welcome to the ShoeWhore club of which I am president and Luvvie VP.
since i’ve been in grad school i’ve had to relinquish my ShoeWhore Club membership. *single tear falls* i’ve given shoes away and haven’t bought a pair that i didn’t “need” in a loooooong time. i’m actually ashamed to even be admitting this.
I shed a tear for you.
Maybe we can take up a collection for you…so you can indulge.
*wiping single tear* thanks V.E.G. i appreciate the concern.
Poor baby! Yes, we’ll have the ShoeWhore’s Emergency Fund…
I’m already 5’10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6’0″ to 6’1″. Throughout high school and undegrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5’8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6’3″ to 6’5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.
I’m already 5’10″ without shoes. I try to stick to normal height heels 2 to 3 inches and I start to push 6’0″ to 6’1″. Throughout high school and undergrad, I loved me some short guys; it was no guys over 5’8″ for me because I wasn’t confident in my tallness. I convinced myself that if I wanted my kids’ heights to even out so I should marry a short guy. Now, I mostly pull guys around 6’3″ to 6’5″. During college after so many people told me I should model; I grew much more confident with my height. Plus, the protected feeling I get from a guy bigger than me when he holds me is amazingly comforting.
“*Living at your parents house. It is not fun trying to find time to get freaky things going on when we both live with parents (I had an apartment…I now live with mom…long story)…but its not impossible.”
yeah…this is a wild cherry flag for me as well
Bathrooms, Basements and Closets are best friends (as well as cars at night).
Cars at night are great even if you both have your own place. Or so I heard.
“Or so you heard”
*Insert Verizon’s Network here*
Hey. Sometimes you both are too drunk to drive so you need to work the likka off. I call that being responsible…
inside the car or shining down the hood? i prefer hood action… long legs…
Backseat…I become a gymnast in tight spaces during hot and heavy times.
both. lol.
*daps*
1. Lack of swagger
2. Lack of height
3. “Huskiness”
4. Religious conflict
5. Social retardation
6. Excessive Mama love
“1. Lack of swagger
2. Lack of height
3. “Huskiness”
4. Religious conflict
5. Social retardation
6. Excessive Mama love”
***number 3***
actually, are we sure here that this is #3? is it possible that she just doesn’t mind dating socially retarded men??
or more accurately, short, insecure, tubby, agnostic atheists who dont like people and were breast fed until they were 15?
this is true. i could be wrong
yO COUNT THAT SHYT. tHEM IS REGULAR FOR SOME.
Uh…I don’t mind dating men with these features even though most people view them as immediate red flags. Every man I have dated seriously in my adult life has been mildly socially retarded (all two of them). I could not care less about swagger or height. I have found that religion says very little about a man (with the exception of atheists–I CANNOT DO ATHEISTS), and I have seen that men who love their mamas to death will also love their their wives to death.
ADJUST YOUR COUNT, YOU SHALLOW @$$ N!99AS.
P.S. Panama – they can have one or two of these–not all. NOT ALL.
point taken.
**making amendment to mythical vsb list of amendments**
See here?? It has begun.
Champ, its good to know that booty isn’t a die-hard requirement for you. I feel much better about continuing to let you fall in love with me one hug at a time.
My WCF’s arrrre:
1. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game in peace for a few hours while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
3. Talking. By that I mean, some people are really uncomfortable when they’re with their SO and there’s not constant conversation. I’m a huge fan of comfortable silence. I like to just BE sometimes. Hell, sometimes I want to be in your presence, but I’d prefer it if you said nothing. All that constant talkage is for the birds.
I’ll be back in the mawnin with more.
. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
LOL yeah I can agree with these too
“He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.”
This is key. Although I’m not the video game freak, I got other hobbies and shyt that doesn’t concern my lady and she should have the same.
“All that constant talkage is for the birds.”
I’m with you on this also. I’m a fan of communication, but every movie you see at an AMC theatre has the same underlined theme that “Silence Is Golden”. Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.
I feel this.
Sometimes you just need to sit down and be quiet.
“Sometimes people just need to be the f*ck quiet.”
See, that’s what I’m sayin’!
But for some reason, folks tend to get nervous when I’m too quiet for too long.
Big Mama would be like “Ya’ll go see what that baby is back there doin’! She’s too quiet!” I’d just be on the porch reading “Good Housekeeping”.
i THINK i KINDA E-<3 YOU.
Is there a VSB doctor around?
I think I finally want to get this Crazy Magnet removed from my a$$. When it starts working over the IntraWebs, there is definitely cause for concern.
dON’T B LIKE THAT. i GOT SOME BOMB CHICKEN WINGS OVER HERE PACKED UP 4 A PICNIC. tHEY SMELL SO GOOD THEY COULD MAKE THEM MARSHMELLOWS GIVE UP THE PARTY HAT.
You made no mention of mumbo sauce in your picnic basket. That negates the offer of the wangs. Sorry, babe. A girl has her standards.
Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.
People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.
These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”
Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.
People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.
That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.
ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly.
Nah, Champ is asking what are other people’s non-negotiables/deal breakers that DON’T bother you, lol.
You all here listing things that make you tell em why you mad son.
What is it that you don’t mind that others do?
Nah, Champ is asking what are other people’s non-negotiables/deal breakers that DON’T bother you, lol.
You all here listing things that make you tell em why you mad son.
What is it that you don’t mind that others do?
8th thats why fugs with ya….
“8th thats why fugs with ya….”
*daps*
this was a hug worthy reply. come here
*smiles*
LMAO. This is why I should not try to respond past my bedtime. You know what time I left work 8th! Cut a sista some slack lol.
You know I heart you. How would I get through my work day without you?
Dudes who love to argue moot shyt. I hate people who like to argue, and the fact that I’ve attracted more than one person like this concerns me.
People who don’t know their history or like to read. If you went to public school, you will know these two are not unrelated. Please don’t respond and say “I don’t know much about the Civil Rights movement so I can’t say”. This type of ignorance leads to dumb arse statements like the one made by Solja Boi (why’d you) Tell Em.
These are the same people who start a sentence with “No offense but…”
Rude people. I can’t stand people who are only nice to people in their inner circle, and are stone faced and ready for war with everyone else. Sit the f*ck down and drink some green tea.
People who lack basic home training. Just today as I was about to walk into a building I saw a young guy stride by an elderly woman as they were about to reach the door. I really did make an arse out of u and me cause I assumed he would open the door. Why did that door shut as the women reached it? Right in her face. He was not even on the elevator as she struggled to open the door.
That’s all I can think of for now. I think this is a nice list. Be nice, enjoy learning, be civilized, don’t argue, and loathe Solja Boi. It’s like the five commandments and shyt.
ps) The Coalition For The Treatment Of Mythical Creatures commends you for abstaining from the ill mention of black squirrels and midgets in your latest posts. Thank you kindly
***number 4***
Damn we on 4 already?!?! I should have taken the over.
actually, i think 19 was much too high. i think we’re gonna top out at 10.
reading comprehension is a b*tch aint it
thats not nice. ive read PLENTY of comments where people go off on random “musings” ….
oh the irony in some people’s dust ruffles.
that actually doesn’t negate the fact that reading comprehension is a b*tch though…lol.
eff all yall! i don’t call out yalls typos in your posts.
rude! lol.
overit, if we placed bets on the number of typos in champ and panama’s vsb posts, the two of us could make a fortune! i tried to tell ‘em before to tighten that sh*t up, but they don’t listen. oh and by the way, i guess spell check laziness is a wcf for me because i’m still reading this d@mn blog at month 7…lol
spell.check.deez.
plus, our mistakes are charming.
wild cherry:
1. i generally like a little edge but i could get down with a straight laced college professsor, since i am a little extra that prolly would be an interesting match.
2. white guys. my preference is a brotha but …hey
3. men who are from “obscure” parts of the country. I suppose I could date a man from IA, particularly if he had a potato hookup…for the au gratin.
3b. a man who “thinks” he can cook. I really don’t like for men to “mess” around in my kitchen. But if he claims he can cook. We would have to have a cook off where friends and family would have to vote, and if we tied or he won (that shyt would be rigged some kinda way) however if it was a fair win, only then would be be allowed to burn with me.
thats all i got right now. im sure ill have more later in the morning.
“3. men who are from “obscure” parts of the country. I suppose I could date a man from IA, particularly if he had a potato hookup…for the au gratin.”
***substituting “women” for “men” and adding to my list***
3b. a man who “thinks” he can cook.
*pointing at Champie*
oh say it aint so Gemmie…
***SMH***
*can’t bring her self to “say it aint so, joe”*
at least his food is edible. i didn’t die when i ate his spaghetti. he got one thumb up.
sidenote: is it just me or are there mad dudes who swear up and down they can throw down in the kitchen and then serve you some spaghetti?? noodles + sauce = culinary skills?? wth…
i didn’t die when i ate his spaghetti. he got one thumb up.
dayum!!!! ha ha! champie got outed!!! LMAO, FOR REAL!!!
“sidenote: is it just me or are there mad dudes who swear up and down they can throw down in the kitchen and then serve you some spaghetti?? noodles + sauce = culinary skills?? wth…”
Tell the truth!!!
I’ve eaten many a spaghetti dinner on some “come over and I cook for you” ish.
It’s so cute that they try though…lol
A for Effort!
Naw, they get an incomplete for effort… “Ol’ Chef Nin-ja-rdee lookin’ boy…”
*sniggling*
i gotta co-sign with Alise here. Alot of women too think they doin stuff with multiple variations of pasta…im sure you saw the movie chocolat…food is too sensual to be playin around in pasta..i’d be kinda offended LOL.
if you dont know…just back away from the stove..its ok.
exactly, CBG. if your chef skills aren’t top notch, it is oh kay. as long as you bring some other top notch skills, some one can work with you.
“as long as you bring some other top notch skills, some one can work with you”
urrr uhh……YEAH..
LMBAO
that’s really sad champie poo poo
do better.
“oh say it aint so Gemmie”
LOL
Champie poo poo looks like a “scratcher” (ie playin in the pots and aint doin nothin)..i figured as much.
you mean pot, as in singular. i think he only owns 1. i know for sure he got no baking sheets. me and Ivy been meaning to take him shopping to up his cookware.
*Gives Champ the side-eye*
upgrade his @zz a notch on the stainless steel cookwear, please!!!
Champie poo poo looks like a “scratcher”
how exactly does a “scratcher” look?
and i’m not sure if i’m feeling this 35 comment tangent about my cooking skills
well there are some of us who aren’t sure if we’re feeling your cooking skills. there’s dissatisfaction all around.
BURN!!!
sooo.. listing things that might be deal breakers to others but dont really bother me
Being a thug…I dont mind really, I am a tough chick. I get loud, and regardless of how uncouth.. Yeah I will still fight a biatch, so I need a dude thats down for the clown sometimes…..My husband is a gangster nerd.. smart, intelligent, hard working but PLease believe me when I say, he AINT going.. and that shyt is s.e.xy
I have also messed witih a few nerds…like for real, socially inept, computer, math geniuses…they are often times very sweet and you learn a lot from them……
color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time
if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..
if he doesnt go downtown. I mean when it was new it was the hottest shyt going but after awhile…………….I know some think its blasphemy but the guy before my husband didnt and he was awesome in bed and it didnt really matter.. And now that I can get it when I want it.. Its a sometimes not all the time thing….I mean I am all for the warm up but Dyck is the headliner for me…..
to pull a CBG and reply to my post for clarification..
Now I do like it.. a lot.. but I dont think it would be a deal breaker for me.. .
good flags and sh*t.
color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time
i have to wonder how many women actually wouldn’t date a mixed dude?
i met this chick once who, before finding out that i was mixed, told me that all mixed kids have identity issues and don’t know they are, etc…of course, once she found out my mama was white it more or less shut her entire argument down, but still, i’m guessing there are women (and men for that matter) out there who wouldn’t…
ppl who wouldn’t date mixties are LAME!
“color barrier.. If I wasnt married.. I might be down for some half and half or soy, or even completely vanilla milk from time to time”
This has never been a deal breaker for me. I’ve dated two white guys, a Rican and a cat from Ecuador. While I hands down prefer the brothers I am open to talking to whomever is cute and witty.
Wild cherry flags…Let’s see:
1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit. now, i DON’T need you to be sitting your arse around, working some uninspired 9-5 and making min wage trying to take me out to some damn ryan’s like that’s okay, BUT i’m not just gonna judge you because you didn’t go to college. (sidenote: as a freshman in college, i remember being sooo impressed when my new–non-college–boyfriend was reading the same ish i had been assigned, just because he wanted to. mmm.)
2) aspiring singer (NOT RAPPER! hell naw.)–let me explain. as an actress (who is giving up on the dream day by long tired day. haha.), i respect someone who isn’t afraid to hold onto their dream and work at it, as an adult. now, i DON’T need you to be 37 with no resume or training or ‘get up and go,’ talking about how you will “one day” be on oprah and and be the new tyrese and all of that. and…i don’t mean to stereotype, but this is why i make the exclusion for rappers. they get a big ol’ red flag.
umm………what else……
3) men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross, men (esp. southern men) usually react very well to a playful, “please don’t swear like that around me. lol.” and i like that reaction….
“while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.”
Co-sign.
“men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”
Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?
1) non college educated-while i think that a college education is something that is beneficial for most people, some people have a certain go get ‘em attitude or gift in another area, and can make their way without following a degree audit.
this used to be a red flag that became a wild cherry flag that became a non-flag… hence i am now in wedded bliss… as 8th would say
the flip is that he is still amazingly intelligent, reads often, researches interesting topics ‘just for fun’, is very open to new experiences and is completely comfortable hanging with me and my fellow ‘alphabet soup*’ friends or the dudes from around the way…
*this is the endearing term i have for people with credentials and letters behind their name… looks like you spilled a can of alphabet soup on your business card.
“Men who dont curse freak me out, lol. Is that wrong?”
No, that is just you.
Sorry, I don’t curse. I will always keep my distance so you can remain in your happy place………
Awww, it’s cool Swamii, come back!
i ONCE HEARD FROM A CHICK THAT SAID IT WAS HER DEAL BREAKER IF A CAT WOULD CURSE AROUND HER. sHE WAS ALL, ‘IF HE’LL CURSE AROUND YOU, HE WILL CURSE YOU.’ **SHRUGGING SHOLDERS**
And see, my response to her would have been Shut the fukk up.
. Independence. Let me explain. Seems like a lot of women get a boyfriend and then suddenly expect him to be at her disposal 24/7. Ehh, that’s not really my thing. Sure, I’d love to know where you are, and nothing makes me feel better than spending time cuddling up under you, but calling you every hour on the hour for an update isn’t my bag, baby. Plus, I have a life too.
2. Enjoying sports/video games. I really don’t get why women get so bent outta shape about this, as long as its within reason. If I’m in my man’s place and he cuddles up with madden the entire night, that’s not cool. But damn, can that man play his game for a while in peace while you read a book or some shyt? He doesn’t get salty with you for shopping, yapping, or whatever else your hobby is.
yeah I love profanity and slang.. as long as I know that you are able to put them aside when appropriate..
Okay apparenty I didnt hit ctrl+C like I thought I did..its late forgive me.. I meant to co sign the statement below…
men that use profane language-as long as they actually have a vocabulary and are not just crude & gross….”
I’ll be back in the morning to add more fodder for Luvvie’s snarky a$$ comments… at least until the Championship Parade in Philly tomorrow… then I’ll be drinkin beer with my boss on Broad Street!!!!
then I’ll be drinkin beer with my boss on Broad Street!!!!
thanks, blackberry, for helping us to fill our alliteration quota for the day
don’t be a hater because I was mandated to drink today, and you weren’t.
sEE YOU OUT THERE IN A FEW.
I cant really think of much else
well I guess being a technophobe is not a deal breaker either
I like people with house phones, who still write letters, use actual books for research or otherwise communicate through more intimate mediums. I mean somebody has got to keep card catalogs alive, why else did I spend the first six year of my educational career learning about subject, author and title cards?
“who still write letters”
“the wednesday letters” ..yes and yes. its hard to find a black man though who’ll write a dam#n letter LOL.. I might have to go 2520 for this.
“the wednesday letters”
EXACTLY!! So full of sappy sweetness!!! me and the hubby dont do it every wednesday but we are write letters to each other..maybe I am a sucker for nostalgia but nothing beats a well worded hand written letter….from a thug
LOL
“I am a sucker for nostalgia but nothing beats a well worded hand written letter….from a thug”
that is kodak moment a “thug” writing a cute little note on pretty paper lol..wit some timbs on.
“Ol’ Jahiem lookin’ boy”
dat dude would prolly write his letter in crayons
And eat the green one…like every other child I’ve encountered under the age of 5 in the last 15 years. Even my genius children ate the green crayon. WTH is that about?? I’m gonna ask my professor next week, see if she can shed any light on this phenomena.
“use actual books”
the hell is a book? i think i read about one of those while i was reading the wall street journal online…
I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex, and nooooooooooo not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio. The flavorsaur went extinct, and so did a piece of my soul.
I have put a moratorium on Kool-Aid until they bring back Purplesaurus Rex
LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. and now it just aint the same…smh
“LMAO I use to love to mix grape and lemonade before they came out with that.. ”
Aw mayne! Me 2.
I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.
Aw mayne! Me 2.
I ain’t had kool-aid in about 5 yrs…I may hafta whip up a batch for old times sake.
I got some on my desk right now… wait dont you have kids Miss t lee?
you dont make them kool aid? Girl dont deprive them kids like that…….get them so Red kool aid with with the ghetto recipe of 2 1/2 of cups of sugar per package stat!!!
“…not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio.”
Saywhaaa, Unicorn Wrangler?? Let me know the next time you’re in DC, because I will make you some divine grape/lemonade kool-aid.
And yes, DC…not DMV. Everybody knows you can’t get quality Kool-Aid in the suburbs.
Awwww hellllll naw, PBG! My mama’s k-laid can beat yo mama’s k-laid any day of the week. We don’t play that mess in PG! You betta ask somebody…*switches off muttering under my breath* Can’t make good k-laid my azz…..like I’m not runnin’ round with 2 fillings thanks to da laid….been making laid cocktails since ’83….betta take that ish to MoCo….
Since ’83, huh? *snickers*
I’ve been creating Kool-Aid magic since Murr’in Burree” (that’s Mayor for Life, Marion Barry, for ya’ll regular talkers, i.e. non-Washingtonians) was still on the School Board.
Although, I don’t doubt you probably can find some good K-laid in Suitland or District Heights, but it will have crack in it. Drank @ your own risk n’ shyt.
teeheeheeheheee. I went to Suitland h.s. – and I can’t even argue with that one!!! But if you were making the Laid when MB was in office I’ma have to get yours tested for *extra sugar cubes* too…..
LMAO @ “extra sugar cubes”! Girl, leave our man alone! MB could run for Mayor in DC right now and get back in by a very respectable margin, despite this city being overrun by enthusiastic 2520s. Fenty is effin’ up, yo!
I know, I know – and Fenty went to my college!! I’m still waiting for him and Rhee to enforce marshall law…he’s got good intentions, though. Just glad i’m in the (hood) burbs…
I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….
“I met MB once at the Phillips – that bama was smacked! And was trying to hit on me in front of my mama. I was like 19 at the time….”
CTFU!! That is Classic MB right there!!!
Both an Alpha (Barry) and a Kappa (Fenty) f*ckin up DC. And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.
“And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.”
LMAO!! Gotta love the Bruhs.
Both an Alpha (Barry) and a Kappa (Fenty) f*ckin up DC. And that’s ur daily message from the NPHC.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
*I know I’m co-signing clownin’ my Nupes but dammit, that was funny sh*t
@ PGB off topic kinda..did you grow up around Tech …like Todd PL..i meant to ask you the other day.
CBG, I didn’t grow up around Tech, but I live here now. My daughter goes to The Great McKinley Technology High School now. LOL.
I actually grew up in Shaw.
some of my father’s peeps lived over there back in the day..My pops went to tech.
totally off topic, but am i the ONLY ninja in the DC area who HATES the term DMV. for one, that crap came out of nowhere a few years ago and exploded, but i really hate that sh*t. nobody wants to go to the real DMV, everytime i hear that term i think of the new license joint off M Street, SW and the fact that i waited for 2 hours to turn IN my old license plates.
yeah im not feeling the “DMV”either..i think tiger’s @zz coined that. Its a lazy unimaginative term 4 a fabulous location.
I actually hate the term “DMV”. Nothing but bad memories of women with freakishly long nails (rings on each finger) and bad cosmetic choices making me “hurry up and wait”, while the men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week, asking me about my license and trying to mack at the same time. Yeah, that’s DC Gov’t workers for you.
I use the ridiculous term to make a distinction between Authentic DC Denizens and the Posers from out in “The County”…PG, MoCo, AA, Charles Co, MD or “Across The Bridge”…VA. With their bamma azzes.
PGB..you are a MESS…im am crying right now…that bit of truth could use some glitter.
I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!
thats true i hate to be over near those dc gvtment buildings around early spring..that is every black man’s invitation for linen pants. with heavy mad creases..You know philly got a little of that extra male flavor too.
I’m just sayin’…DC Gov’t workers are a simply a plethora of “C” Students who dress and apply make-up in the dark each and everyday. Hot messes, the lot of them!!
dying! LMAO….so true.
You know, ya’ll aren’t giving me many reasons to visit DC.
::snicker::
“men dress like they’re going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert every damn day of the week”
indoor or outdoor concert?…. Like linen short sets w/ mandals? Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage, ployester pants of a purplesaurus rex hue and 3 gold chains all with charms and a scurl?
LMAO!! I just bout died when I read this. I pictured the outfit and ERRTHANG. Oh and the skinny legs coming out the linen short set will top it off, talm bout “You young whippa snappas dont kno nuthin bout that right derr”
UnicornWrangler…girl! To borrow a phrase from yesterday’s blog…“Why does it matter??”
That shyt is horrid, no matter the season!! Geesh!
“Or like silk shirts with man cleaveage”
**dear lord..please don’t let me have a seziure right now**LOL
this is SOOO true and these men are SUPER forward and bold too. I think its because there are women that actually like this foolishness.
I think my lungs just exploaded from lack of oxygen.
You not gone keep tryin’ to carry PG – we might have to smack that “B” out the middle of your screen name..then what you gone do? Huh!?!
I would say something in defense of MoCo, pero mi espanol es no muy bueno.
That would be a lot smackin’, woman. That “B” stands for my very brown skin and that ain’t going nowhere, despite all that Ivory soap my Big Mama scrubbed me down with the first 6 years of my life.
lmao, i may have grown up in va, but i was born in dc. go sibley hospital! i just hate the term dmv cause it reminds me of the actual dmv. i hate the dmv with a passion, i once had to renew my license and since it was post 9/11 you had to take every ID you ever got, your birth certificate, ss card, and 3 witnesses to your birth on US soil. i was so mad, not cause i lost all the documents, but cause i had to go to the dmv…of course i was happy when i found out i simply misplaced them, but im mad my intitial reaction was “i HATE the dmv!”
You were born @ Sibley? Oh, how fancy…a lot of my clients bypass 3 hospitals to get up there to have their babies.
I was born @ Freedman’s Hospital which is sadly, no more. That building is now Howard University’s School of Communication.
DMV used to really throw me off as well. my friends living in that area say it all the time and it takes me a second to process. i just take the time to say DC-Maryland-Virginia area.
or just say DC area.
some of the areas around DC just aren’t DC-like to me and therefore don’t deserve to be grouped like that.
maybe not, but saying DMV does the exact same thing. there’s no good way to denote the DC Metropolitan area…but DMV blows balls way more than anything i can think of…
its a shame too, cuz you really just can’t tell folks you from DC around here if you’re ass is from Vienna, VA…its like a sham wrapped up in a lie wrapped up in one of Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets.
but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…
ZONE 4!
“Comeback Girl’s soggy a** blankets”
im so tired of giving yall negra’s the correct terminology..and i rep DC cause thats where i was born and raised and it takes me 10 minutes on 50 to get there so whatever.
“but if you’re from Decatur or hell, even Marietta or Lawrenceville, GA, you can tell folks you’re from Atlanta and the only folks who’ll bat an eye are people like me…”
Me too. I hate when people wanna rep for a city they technically don’t live in. I used to stay setting people straight when I lived in ATL. Like umm, nah homie, your address says Decatur/College Park/East Point. Not Atlanta.
i see your point, PJ. i guess when i say d-m-v area i’m referring to actual geographical closeness, rather than dc-likeness.
but yeah, i feel you on the not being from an actual city but claiming it. i never knew ppl did this (ppl in SoCal claim their zip codes) until i got to undergrad and everybody made it quite clear you couldn’t rep a “city” unless it was actually in your mailing address.
*Sighs, and pours out a lil likka for Purplesaurus Rex, her favorite kool-aid flavor*
Can you pour that likka into my cup 8th Wondra, it’s the red solo cup sitting next to the “undecided voter”, I mean unicorn.
I heart “8th Wondra”, lol.
got to make sure you’re saying it like Roy Lee, n***a.
What you need to do is pour that likka in a cup of Purplesaurus Rex, now that sh*t right there is crack in a cup.
that sounds like some ole Omega Oil if I ever
Hi Peyso
Close, but no cigar.
What’s goodie IH?
I like cigars too…
not even the most skilled chemist can create the correct grape:lemonade ratio
obviously you havent met my mom. i think one of the kool-aid people stole the idea from her.
it was probably one of those gypsies that were living with us in the early 80′s
i LIKE TO PUT SOME MANGO PUREE IN MY LEMONADE IF NO SWEET TEA IS AVAILABLE. oooooOOOH WEEE YIGNUH.
Yo, who the hell just has mango puree laying around?
You kill me, mayne.
right?!
Plantains yes.
Mango pure no.
lIKE WIA SAID ’4 MANGO CUTS’
I love Mango Puree
this actually sounds pretty good. crazy cap lock on and everything.
also ,mango nectar + champagne = a greatacular mimosa
this sounds DEELISH…imma have to guinea pig this on a gentleman caller.
i CAN’T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. tHIS IS ACTUALLY A FLAVOR OF DRINK FROM BOLTHOUSE FARMS. tHEY HAVE A JUICE DRINK LINE.
too right!
“STL aka WDM” you are my foodie e-brother… Bolthouse Farms got that TRUTH right derr. The Prickly Pear Lemonade? Diabeetus in a bottle but SOOOOO good
also ,mango nectar + champagne = a greatacular mimosa
This is inspiring
This combo really makes me wish I wasn’t allergic to mangoes.
If he makes me laugh and pant at the appropriate times, much is forgivable.
“…If he makes me laugh and pant at the appropriate times…”
***imagining k.i.t. in the throes of passion, giggling and moaning at the same time***
Grrrr. I said the appropriate times, not the same time… although if he could pull that off, case in point; he’s forgiven.
“giggling and moaning at the same time…”
This is never a bad thing.
Absolutely never.
*le sigh*
*Physical Appearance – Some of my homies exclusively date the model type or the chick whom the majority of n*ggas would pursue. I have no problem with that but experience has taught me that looks shouldn’t be the number one factor. Looks fade, seasons change, blah, blah, blah, etc….not saying that I will entertain someone who I find physically repulsive, but one doesn’t have to be a beauty queen as long as they do have some redeeming physical attribute and other shyt to bring to the table.
*The Cooking Factor – A woman who can cook her ass off is definitely a plus, but I’m not gonna trip if she’s not overly proficient in the kitchen. I’m not picky like that…and plus I can bake a potato, steam or boil some broccoli, and a n*gga’s NICE on the Foreman Grill. Liquid smoke and proper seasoning goes a long way.
*Ability To Procreate – This is a major no-no with many men, however, being 31 (for the next couple of weeks…my born day is Nov. 16th), I’m not convinced that I need to have children. I understand that children are a blessing but as of now, I have no desire to have a Prince Monk or Princess Monk.
Good list there, Monk. Try that Foreman Grillerator, it’s the shyt. I do some major work in there. That and my crockpot.
these are some good cherry flags
sssssscorpio….rawwrrrr!!!
So the 80% rule, huh?
1. Thick accents. Sometimes it can be irritating but sometimes, cute.
2. Edgy – OK to have a little but not too much. Keeps things poppin
3. Parental drama – just so you handle it as best you can and just so you got my back with them. And you know when to mount up and leave.
4. Talk, talk, talk – talk all you want, but give me the option to opt out when my cup/ears are full.
5. Not of my denomination – this one is new for me but I am recently becoming much more tolerant. Just believe in God and work out the particulars for yourself.
6. Clingy – like our fearless leader, I can handle this better than distance. I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.
6. Clingy – like our fearless leader, I can handle this better than distance. I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.
“fearless leader” has a great ring to it. when i undergo my shark jumping metamorphosis in 2014, i’m probably gonna change my name to that
tHEY TOLD YOU, YOU COULD JUMP SPECIES TOO. i PICKED OCTOPUS.
“I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. ”
I think that was me.
I kid. I kid. But I do hate hand holding and whatnot.
i can’t get with hand holding either. esp with tall men. it just feels awkward.
Hmmm… you hate hand holding huh???
When have you ever seen me hold hands?
I have done it willingly once and that was when I was under the influence of the gotdamn.
Influence of the gotdamn = she had a crush
naw wasn’t a crush. trust. not on him. on the gotdamn.
besides, you can’t crush on an ex can you?
“besides, you can’t crush on an ex can you?”
yes
yes you can, lol.
nO SHE DIDN’T GO SI SU PUEDE ON THAT SSA
“I once had to walk away from a lady that told me she did not like non-s*xual displays of affection. Sorry, had to go.”
I’d do the same. I am so affectionate and I definitely need the same in return.
i ONCE HEARD THAT CHICKS NEED @ LEAST 7 TOUCHES A DAY.
Hmmm, cherry flags? *looks toward my man and begins typing feverishly*
-under 5’11 – he’s still taller than me with heels on, so whatever.
-ashy as all hell – this bama is covered in snow. You’d think he’s mixed. but he…..
-is exactly the same shade as me – could we be kin? naw, but it’s still weird.
-does not do dishes – this would have offended my feminist ideals in the past – but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track.
-quick on the draw – but also quick to rally. tee-hee.
-is a trash compactor. this bama eats my “leftovers lunch” as a midnight snack. for some strange reason i’m flattered. lucky his ashy azz is cute to me.
-sports a nappy mustache – i mean, really. wtf? i trim it. After I cut his hair.
-is from Miami. I’ve seen him get ready to go out to the club with his boys, and there is no happy medium between dressing like a skittle or like a Jehovah’s Witness. Watchtower anyone? I just tell him he looks cute and send him on his way. tee-hee.
-says “guhl”. and I think that ish is cute. Actually, I think his dirty draws are cute – must be lub.
LOL!!!
your list cracked me up… primarily because
” he’s still taller than me with heels on” I imagined him with heels on ala Prince Rogers Nelson, his Royal Musical Genius…
but you totally had me with
“but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track”
“but the idea of eating off of his idea of “clean” dishes offends my digestive track”
Does he wash them with cold water? lol
I think he washes them with a blindfold on.
Sadness.
Mental picture is too much!!! Y’all are tryin’ to get me fired up in here.
I said “cold water” cause I once knew a kat who did.
I ate on paper plates when I was at his place.
CTFU!!!! I think they do it on purpose so we’ll jump at the chance to do them dang dishes. That ish be workin’, tho.
lol…i wonder if he knows that he’s being put on blast by his chick in front of thousands and sh*t
Um, can the thousands get a glossary for this piece?! I am lost on the 2520. I read the blog and sometimes even post, but I have been out a few weeks, so can somebody publish a bootleg VSB slang key!
Humph.
Champ is “supposedly” still working on this.
It will debut on March 32nd.
Oh yeah 2520 is another term for the non-melanin folks. You know, the pink people…lol
Champie, someday a woman will like you enough to post your bidness. Pray she keeps your name and identifying details out.
Awwww. ur list is cute and sh*t.
it must be luv
this is a good list and highly comedic. i assume he does not read our site…
hell naw – that bama can’t read!
j/k and shyt.
This list was hilarious…
**still chuckling
i agree with everyone else–your list is so cute and funny. i think it’s great you’re willing to work with the brotha. some things you can “change” (i.e. cutting his hair, trimming his mustache) and others you can overlook. awwwwww love is a beautiful thing!
I think I got the sweet end of the deal, for realz. I only masquerade as sane, and that bama puts up with ALL my crazy ish (and it’s alot). Fo sho. But yeah, I start gigglin and shyt all little girl like when I think about him.
aWWE lIL’t YOU MAKIN ME MISS MY DAY’S @ famu. mY HOMEBOYS WAS ALWAYS ON THAT ‘HEY GRRRRRL’ OR ‘WUZZ UP GUHL.’ mAKES ME WANT TO DO THE CITY BOY TO THAT mICHAEL jACKSON OR bARRY wHITE
Tropical Punch goes hard!
IDK about the wild cherry flags.
Looks–
You ain’t gotta be Dwayne Johnson fine, hell I’ve even dated some true blue ugmos. As long as you don’t have a horn growing out of your forehead (shouts to Naturally/Devilishly/Home Edition Alise) I think I can make it work.
The personality always draws me in…dayumit!!!
I might have more…it’s way too early to think.
thanks for the shoutout ‘Throat Puncher Extraordinaire’
I too don’t have to have a 10, BUT if you are a 5 as long as you are witty & stylish then you are definitely doable/dateable.
Cherry…hehehe.
Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.
*sigh
Here’s 1, Champ. I’m still in good shape though
Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.
***giving slim a chance to reply before branding this comment with number 5***
Oh, I should give these folks a name. How about “the physical exertion (minus sex) minimalists”?
***sadly branding slims comment with a number five***
LMAO at you counting people’s comments… committed to this one, huh?
Love. It. Bwahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I really did miss something if I’m getting branded. I don’t need one of those though. I’m already Greek.
I’m asking that the brand be removed since this particular string has 13 comments. That has to count for something
Aight, after studying this sh*t, I realized where I went wrong. All I have to say is…..
Oops.
Its ok Slim, our corner is bumpin. I was #4 and shyt, glad to see ya.
i do appreciate the self-reflection. really, i do
“Laziness/refusal to work out. That “I don’t need to work out cuz I look good” sh*t drives me nuts.”
What bout us folks that are blessed with a high metabolism? Me working out may result in me losing weight. Which just would NOT be the business.
Working out isn’t about just losing weight. You can also tone what you do have, keep up stamina, build muscle in the right places…etc. No snark-o
True, true… I did work out for a 6 week spurt in 2007. I even had a personal trainer. Then I fell back into bummidom.
Working out is important to overall health and, if you eat properly, can help you to maintain weight. I actually gain 5 lbs – in the very best of areas – when I am training for something.
Laziness is not segzi.
Besides, your metabolism is fine now. Give it a few years…
If I use my Mom (and the rest of the women in my fam) as a measuring tool, there’s not much fat-ass ness in my future (but there IS thickness. I hope it isnt a dream deferred).
But I do agree. I need to start working out. *sigh* and to think, I used to be a hooper.
I hear ya. My momma’s thick now too. But I am really trying to stay at this weight (or within 10 lbs) till I go off to meet my maker. lol.
Sprinting and lunging can help speed the thickness along. Well, round out da booty and fill in the thighs. Eat more protein, too.
lol.
Being a stripper. I know a lot of men have a problem with women who strip, but not me. I’ll encourage you to drop and give me 50 during timeouts on Monday Night Football.
LOL
I sometimes tell men to drop and give me 50…..a$$ pumps that is.
V Renee – I like your style.
Ain’t nothing wrong with scrippers!
*hiding tassels*
lmao… ya’ll r crazy.
lIL’t R U DATING ONE OF THE FAT BOYS? oLE j c pENNEY LOOKIN BOY?
AMEN!! Strippers are fine as frog hair, and they make boatloads of money, and they have skills that other women either don’t have, or hide from you. I can’t wife that though, but we can have lots of fun that is meaningless and going nowhere!
Not about red flags, not about must haves this is
My negotiable list.
1) Cig/Weed Smoker – Terrible Kiss aftermath or Black lips? Not a problem. The fact that she willfully ingests something that will kill her may be a red flag to a lesser man, but for me (a non-smoker) that’s nothing but sexy.
2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.
3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.
4) Morning Person – I’m vampiric with my hatred of the sun and love for the night, but a bright eyed and bushy tailed chick can is often a Jah Send.
“2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right”
a flight needs accessories. stop hatin’
It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.
you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.
i like to call these chicks, “sarah palins”
lol @ sarah palin’s
“you know, this is actually true. plus, your expectations are so low that if it actually does turn out somewhat edible, its a huge plus.”
The secret to success is to under-promise and over-deliver.
“The secret to success is to under-promise and over-deliver.”
Not really. lol.
this reminded me of the Lowered Expectations skit that used to come on the four episodes that MadTv was funny.
It’s all fun and games til someone loses an intestine.
THEN AGAIN SHE GIVES YOU SOMETHING THAT PROVOKES SSA FIRE. i GOT TO GIVE THE NAY NO MY BROTHUH. i WOULD MUCH RATHER POKE FUN @ AND AGRIVATE MY WAY INTO THE KITCHEN THEN GET PISSED MYSELF ABOUT HER FULKIN UP THE FOOD. sHOOT dADDY SAID, ‘DON’T MESS UP NO GROCERIE.’ aND cHRIS wALKEN SAID, ‘YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOU WANT, BUT YOU GONE EAT ALL YOU TAKE BOY.’ bILUXI bLUES.
2) Takes forever to get ready – As we miss our flight to Acapulco, you need to find those big ass hoop earrings, otherwise you just won’t feel right. Other cats will stew in anger as they lose time, and possibly some cash. Me? Jewelry, Purses, Shoes, Make up – I love those things you do to look good, feel feminine, and out dress the next woman.
i know the perfect gal for you!!!
this actually drives me crazy, be it my friends, man, family member.
“3) Can’t Cook – It’s a lot more fun to cook with someone that can’t cook, than a kitchen Nazi.”
Gotta give a big co-sign on that one.
i HAVE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR ANOTHER MORNING PERSON. eSPECIALLY IF SHE CAN GET UP AFTER A NIGHT OF HEAVY DRINKIN N FLUKIN.
I must be a kitchen Nazi. Whenever people try to enter the kitchen while I am cooking, I glare at them, lower my voice to a rumble and sneer, “Why are you here?”
* weed smokers – I have hopped off my high horse on that one, as long as it is not on some Clifford Smith , Iron Lung, Ticaaaaaal & Reggie Nobles, Brick City, I’ll Be Dat type of habit I can deal.
Ticaaaaaal.
Release Yo’ Delf!
*off to find that on youtube.*
*Still in the running (pumps fist)*
i see you…. *wink* … lol
Weed smokers are some of the smartest folks I’ve can come across. maybe its that “higher level of clarity” they say it gives.
no, smart it does not make you…. in the words of Katt Williams “ain’t nothing worse than a smart dumb ninja…smarter than a dumb-muthafugga”
no, smart it does not make you…. in the words of Katt Williams “ain’t nothing worse than a smart dumb ninja…smarter than a dumb-muthafugga”
tee hee hee
Lol, this is true…one of my best friends is an attorney and he smokes like a chimney. He really thought he could not get through law school and pass the bar without a perpetual amount of “tall tree”!
I am glad you recognize my brilliance.
The weed be letting you know…….
Yeah, ole dude puts up with my tree habit.
I don’t see nothing wrong…with a little puff and pass…
It will always be on my list. I’ve got a couple of young doctor friends that smoke weed and I for that reason will not date them. Outside of that they are dateable (did I make this word up?), I just can’t get passed it. What if they get screened at work for drugs… FIRED and now unemployed.
Outside of that they are dateable (did I make this word up?), I just can’t get passed it.
no, dateable’s a valid term, but you did just invent a new use for the word “passed”
LMAO.
my guess is everybody didnt pick up on that but that cracked me up heavenly.
For two ninjas whose posts stay chocked the h3ll full of typos and other incidences of grammatical imprecision, ya’ll are pretty dayum snarky about others missteps today. Hmph…
For two ninjas whose posts stay chocked the h3ll full of typos and other incidences of grammatical imprecision, ya’ll are pretty dayum snarky about others missteps today. Hmph…
THANK YOU. I mentioned that upthread. I’m sure Champ saw your comment and thought “thats what she said”. So predictable.
It’s ok Champ and P, I will continue to mentally edit your posts:)
i know i wasn’t the only one who whips out the mental red pen
***off topic***
happy halloween! anybody aside from Devilishly Elise dressing up?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClbK4YYAAGk
safe for work, its just music, the reason I stopped watching horror movies when I was a kid.
I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.
I hope I can still fit that jawn.
(“Jawn” is officially my new fave slang word.)
I’m going to put on my wedding dress (which was really a prom dress, but it was so damn awesome…) and go as a Princess. I just need a tiara. I’m divorced, but I saved it to have a ceremonial burning that I haven’t yet gotten around to doing.
this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
“this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady””
I just…lmao..I can’t.
this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
Bwwwaaaaahaaahaaahaa…
“this comment is also actually number 4 of the list of “things people say when theyre slowly becoming a cat lady”
Oh no.
Ha! That’s hilarious to me because my one and only tattoo (that I got at the ripe old age of 34) is an effin’ CAT!! LOL! And my dayum initials…are C.A.T. And I do love the kittehs!
Yes, I am well on my way.
don’t worry, PBG. i’ll cat-sit for you if you ever need a vacay
I hate almost all things philly but i cant shake the word “jawn”. it just works so well
bUT i HATE WHEN THIS NONSPECIFIC PRONOWN EXPECTS PEOPLE TO HAVE ESP. SMH
you like ‘jawn’? CLEARLY you have not spent enough time in the DelVal. ‘jawn’ is a word that makes my ass twitch… it replaces nouns, pronouns and sometimes adjectives ’round these parts
I’m gonna have to put you on the Diva Dust Ration Program for this one…
First I’m a soon-to-be Cat Lady, now I’m having my Diva Dust rationed.
This has not been a good day on VSB for PBG. Dang.
i still luvs ya girl. but ‘jawn’ need not make it into your vernacular….
gawd just TYPING it made my ass twich.
I take the under (hopes that VSB readership is indeed V and S).
Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me.
Well anyway I’m calling these grape flags, only because grape (or purple according to Chappelle) is a vastly superior flavor of beverage than whatever it is you listed up top***
Ok here we go:
Reading Rainbow. Listen if she shares the same passion for butterflies in the sky as Lavar Burton thats great. If not its no big deal. I mean really people its 2008 there are a million ways to stay informed, I don’t need a chick who spends a good amount of our fornic8able time staring at dead trees with words on them.
Parties all the time. I like Eddie Murphy. Really I do. I agree with him on a lot of issues. However I fundamentally disagree with him that a girl who enjoys the nightlife as much as me is a detriment. I never got this, so you like to party and club yet you want a woman who stays home all the time??? How does that make sense? So while you’re out partying, her “gay friend” Andre, can come and watch Bridezilla with her and taste her new cupcakes. Andre will get them cakes all right.
Plans our house/car/kids/dogs she want it all. Though I don’t want a liar, cheater, deceiver or a heartbreaker, I do want in my life a woman who openly expresses the fact that she hopes that our kids come out with my cheeks or her hair. My friends: son i’ve been seeing this girl for 3 years and she talking bout “when we move in together…” WHEN!!! Dogs its only been 3 YEARS, we just met and sh*t.” Me: Ok so you would rather her say things like “listen after I cheat on you, you think we’ll still be friends?” or “hey i totally plan on just using you to fill my loneliness until med school when I meet a potential doctor who I really want” Friends: *Crickets*
***This is non negotiable
I take personal offense to you saying grape is vastly superior to cherry. Have you ever tasted a grape popsicle?? It tastes like cough syrup. I’m not a fan of robitussin.
I will not have you insulting grape. That has and will always be my favorite flavor.
BOOOOOO!!!
you have to buy the name brand popsicles…
**backing away slowly**
Ha!!!!!!
LMAO!! IH, thats what we on?? U just gon play me like that and walk away??
hehe. I DID buy name brand *stick out tongue*. Shoot, robitussin is a name brand too and that ish is gross.
i hafta agree with the hedonist. a welch’s popsicle can change your life
Quick aside, how in the hell can you date a nasatall chick??? That will absolutely kill me. I wouldn’t be able to go out with her, because all the beautiful bootay would be so distracting it would only serve to enrage her and further frustrate me
isn’t beautiful booty distracting already? i mean, judging by your comment, the only way you’d be distracted by booty is if you were hitting an elongated spine everyday.
sh*t, i’m distracted by booty right now, and i”m staring at a computer screen
Touche, however it would also grind on you that you too could be sleeping on a booty like that every night, yet your stuck with human pancakes.
With shorty also knowing she has nothing to offer in that department she will naturally get more defensive at any look/stare/glance/or nod that she sees you do while out. Which can only lead to bad things.
You know what? That is some true ish right there. I had a friend who was a nassatall – and you will never find a more paranoid chick on the planet. Most women will be a little sensitive about something that they lack, but it’s hard to fake having an arse (although it can be done) and men love it so much…seriously, I think she may be in an institution right now. Just get some padded panties already!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-1C6QlvHl8
FAST FOREWARD TO LIKE 4:00 IN
this is actually one of the most underrated comedies ever, and easily cracks my top 25 (movies, not just comedies)
lmao… WHATEVA… im a member of the NO DONKEY committee and i have NEVA had any complaints about my flatbacks… i mean there’s something back there (now hee hee) but before that i never had no problems…
“fornic8able time”
LOL!
My favorite time of day. (Hey I’m a reformed ho, never said I was a reformed freak, that will happen never ever ever…)
heh, heh.
Wild Cherry Flags (by the way is that a new color by Wet n Wild?)
Anywho
1) Body Odor – I don’t mind if you stank. Sometimes people can stank so good. I like my man to run around outside all day, take a sh*t and not wipe his azz all the way. Mmmmhmmmm Funk =aphrodisiac.
2) Wack S3X game – S3x is overrated anyway. Besides if he can’t fukc that good, I won’t have to worry about other chicks getting dycktimized.
3) Smart – He doesn’t have to be smart. Who doesn’t like role playing. I can be the teacher and he can be the student. And I DO spank at my school. Owwwwwwwww
4) Functional Crackhead – Crackheads are some sneaky, I mean crafty individuals. They can always come up on flat screen tvs, the latest video system. Pretty much anything. We’re in a recession, so I gotta take what I can get.
5) Baby Daddy five times – Shyt that means I won’t have to worry about him wanting me to have kids. I can keep my size 4 figure. WHooDeeHooo
** Please note this list is a joke!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra
I’m ready to throw my furry slipper @ V.Renee and this whole comment for making me laugh this dayum hard before noon!!
“Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra ”
Pics or it didn’t happen
““Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra ”
Pics or it didn’t happen”
i agree. give up the goods
I do not how to upload pictures and create a link to them. That’s my story and Im sticking to it.
***looking around my office for invisible people to give to v renee***
“** Please note this list is a joke!”
Thank God.
I recoiled in terror just off #1 alone…
You and me both, she had me really concerned for a sec.
me too…i was like, man, Low Standard Meet V. Renee. you have lots in common.
“HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Is anyone else dressed up? I’m Cleopatra”
Not at work…but tonight I’m gonna be a french maid!
For Halloween I am lady Godiva
Im dressed right now as I am off work today….
HATE ON HATERS!
LOL @ IH sitting around her house in full Halloween regalia @ 10:34 am…JUST BECAUSE she doesn’t have to go to work today. That’s so gangsta.
Girl IH’s costume is a mater piece of minimalism I am sure. Since she’s Lady Godiva, i.e. didn’t feel like getting dressed, I imagine she is butt naked with her hair draping.
Love this whole post. Too funny, V!!!!!
i’m dressing up as cat woman, but i need more vinyl…
bUT LESS IT THE NEW MORE. GGGGIGIGITY
“btw, just in case anyone was taking any bets, the over/under for the number of reading challenged people who will completely ignore the topic today and just list their own personal red flags is 19″
Even for the not so challenged with reading comprehension, this topic still forces people to think of red flags (whether they are someone else’s or not). My point: you will just get a repeat of replies from a couple of days ago. You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
any other suggestions, or is the advil cold medication you’re currently taking because you got sick after sleeping with damp blankets making you drowsy again?
You should have just talked about dopamine or serotonin…
so my VTA dopaminergic projections to my NAc were clearly functional last night. thai food and good company?? reward indeed!! but my dorsal raphe nucleus seratoninergic projections may have increased firing because i started to “feel some type of way” about you know who. houston, we may have a problem.
Gem, you’re truly outrageous. truly, truly, truly outrageous.
I loved that show.
what?? did i say something out of order? you know my arcuate fasiculus be actin up sometimes and words get all jumbled misunderstood.
Clingy is cool if it’s a lot of attention. But when a guy calls a ridiculous amount of times each day and gets upset when you don’t call him back right away, then it’s a problem.
My Wild Cherry Flags are…
1) Musical Tastes – As long as it’s not country or heavy metal.
2) Body Type – I prefer guys who are athletic & built, but will date skinny guys too.
3) Profession – Most of the guys that I’ve dated are engineers or business professionals, but really don’t care as long as they’re passionate about what they do.
4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.
4) Political Beliefs- As long as it’s not extreme. This is for both liberals and conservatives. Both types of extremists irk me.
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized that if i was forced to choose between an ultra-political liberal and an ultra political conservative, i’d probably choose the latter. interesting and sh*t
“as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized that if i was forced to choose between an ultra-political liberal and an ultra political conservative, i’d probably choose the latter. interesting and sh*”
Please expound
no
Hahaha. I love how you shut me down. Reminds me of my daddy.
Hahaha. I love how you shut me down. Reminds me of my daddy.
lol…this sounds like the chorus in a keyshia cole song featuring trina
Purple flags
1. friends with my friends~ you aint got to be friends with them heiffers but minimally just tolerate them and play nice when we go out together.
2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally
3. be greek affiliated~as someone who is actively involved in her sorority I just need you to understand and respect that. It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football.
4. college degree ~ don’t want to restate what has already been said upthread.
5. have children~while I can respect that you have children with an ex understand that I am not looking for drama, I don’t go looking for them but its fine if it comes about
2. make more money than me ~ this used to be one of my requirements, funny cause in the 14 years we were together the ex only made more $ than me while I was in grad school. I don’t mind being the primary bread winner so long as we are contributing equally
you know whats funny…when women have this as a deal-breaker, but then complain about the lack of eligible men, lol. its you, you do realize that the more money you make, the smaller your already shrinking pool is gonna get, right?
Champie this is when i was fresh out of undergrad, I have not had this expectation since 1997
i wasnt speaking to you in particular, just the women who still feel this way.
relax and sh*t. your jabs are coming, but this wasn’t one of them.
“relax and sh*t. your jabs are coming..”
*Snicker*
“It’s kind of like your Sunday basketball games and Monday Night Football”
There are very few basketball games played on Sunday.
*Pats IH on the head
BABy Dorian, **offering Dorian a seat**, many a pick up game in my area are played on Sunday morning and afternoon, that is what I was referring to.
A lot of these may repeat what’s been said. I hate getting to the party late…
1. Having a college degree. This is not indicative of intelligence as I met many dumb a$$ people in grad school. So if a brother is gainfully employed doing something he enjoys, I’d be okay with him hot having that piece of paper.
2. Has children. I like the kids and though not ideal I can accept his.
3. Been married before. As long as he has been divorced a good year, I can holla at a dude with an ex wife.
“I hate getting to the party late…”
Niglet, you dont know how to be on time for NOTHING!! Don’t ack like this yo’ first time being late.
Why you gotta put my business out on VSB like that?
dID i ANOUNCE THAT i AM GOING TO BE IN THE REGION COME tURKEY dAY. iF YALL GONNA BE AROUND OR GOING OUT GROUP STYLE PLEASE HOLLER @ YA BOY
LOL
Who is this? lol.
NAmAdUw
yOU HAVE TO READ IT UPSIDE DOWN IN A MIRRORS REFLECTION W/ THE CAPS FLIPPED.
Nevermind. I know. lol.
When will you be in town?
wEDNESDAY THROUGH sUNDAY
sHOULD BE wEDNESDAY THROUGH sUNDAY
“So if a brother is gainfully employed doing something he enjoys”
this is gospel..passion is what brings in the real paper anyway.
“passion is what brings in the real paper anyway”
yup
“passion is what brings in the real paper anyway.”
Yeah that aint what all the passionate broke artists are saying
that is exactly what I say… lol
Hmmm… I guess my wild cherry flags would be
1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations.
2. One baby/One twinkie away ladies… (shout out to Memphis Bleek)
3. Women w/ kids. I love kids & plan on getting into education. Plus the older you get, and the longer you stay single, it’s more likely that some women you meet will have at least 1 child
4. No college degree… i’m cool with that as long as ya a$$ has a plan, goal, or vision
5. Pudges… nothing wrong with a little pudge. You don’t have to have the Janet Jackson abs, baby. Now bend ova…
I’ll come up with more later
1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations.
good distinction.
“Now bend ova…”
EEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!
LMAO!
::appaluse::
“1. Members of either Nassatall or the I.B.T.C. (itty-bitty-t****-committee), but never active members of both organizations. ”
Yeah, at least I’m glass half full…if you will. It’s been a long time coming, but you officially have a fan in me, SC.
lol i’m with you, 8th. *signing under 8th’s name on SC’s fan list*
Ok, ok – after yesterdays post Ima have to sign on to SC fan list as well. SC – you’s good people. If I wasn’t busy I’d think about freakin’ you….
*this was like my fourth song reference today. I’m turning into Panama.*
As SC’s I’m going to officially hate.
He’s ugly and you should freak me instead.
FREAK ME PLEASE.
AND WE CAN DO THOSE THINGS THAT I WOULDN’T SPEAK OF EVEN WITH A GUN TO MY HEAD!
J/K
BUT ONLY ABOUT SC BEING UGLY.
I STILL WANNA DO THAT FREAKY STUFF.
this tickled my … um nevermind
oooooohhhhhweeeeee…. my man might have to thank you. he might be in for the best night of his life….
SC, I appreciate this list:)
A Londoner’s perspective on cherry flags:
1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*
2. Men with occasional HDR (horrible d**ck report): Atleast those days you don’t have to worry about your hair getting all nappy and can use the 80 quid to add yet another gadget to your private toy collection.
3. Men with a stammer (stutter) : Arguing with someone who cant get his point across is so much more fun!
EB
OMG. This.is.just.wrong.
LMAO.
this is why i’m a big fan of across the pond chicks.
welcome and sh*t
“Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*”
i need some Bridget Jone’s Diary accent to go with this..
ROTFL!!!!
LMAO!!!!
“1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*”
MEDIC!!!!
LMAO!! Hilarious!
Can we add “HDR” to the VSB glossary that is still in development?? Pleeease??
Dead.
1. Men with tities: Now he cannot only suck mine I can suck his too. *In 2009 its good to switch up tradional role play*
This right here just made me choke.
“This right here just made me choke.”
Work on that gag reflex, V. You will need it to be ready if you are ever sucking on a man’s tits.
Done.
Im practicing as I type.
Searching for my Gag Be Gone strawberry gel.
My WCF
1. An alum, fan, or any fan who wishes he was an alum of Michigan. As an alum of The Ohio State University, he would normally be an automatic “hell no”, but I like a little sports drama in my relationships
2. A little more to love; I don’t mind him being a little out of shape or even a little lazy in the exercise dept. b/c I have a ton of ideas of how to burn hundreds of calories while lying down…or sitting…whatever.
3. A baby’s dady. As long he is taking care of his responsbilities to his child, I am cool with that. In fact, I will definitely have a lot of respect for him doing what he is supposed to do without the court forcing him to do it
4. A picky eater. I know I don’t eat everything, and I won’t try everything b/c I’m vegetarian going on vegan, so I wouldn’t expect him to want to try any and everything edible…or maybe I should say consumable.
I’m sure I have more, so I will be back later….
thanks for stopping by and sh*t
Awwww… i heart this topic. Everybody’s list is so sweet and funny..
my wcf’s (or purple w/ lemon cuz i makes some mean Koolaid) are
#1 – punctuality – I’m late for EVERYTHING!!! at least 15 minutes… i tells this up front and matter of factly. I need a grace period…. so if he’s not a punctual type dude who am i to complain about that.
# 2 – height – ehh… i’m a tallish chick (5’7”) but as long as he’s at least 5’10” and has some bulk on him he doesn’t have to be a skyscraper
#3 – being hood… I definitely feel like i need a man with SOME hood credentials but if he’s a total geek and has never even saw a project i may be able to work with that as long as his heart don’t pump koolaid.
#4 -skinny – i’ve never liked a skinny dude… but if his personality made up for his lack of girth and circumfrence i could prolly work with it.
#5 – melanin deficient – older I get and the freer i get, the more attractive i find men of other races
#6 – music tastes… as long as it’s not slasher music or something like that he can listen to whatever he likes.
these are good wild cherry flags and sh*t
OK…I am not reading comments today…because I just stopped at the ‘brary for a hot 16 on my way home from an interview…(pray for me, it went well) so I got no time for the VSB shenanigans cuz I got a lunch date in a few…
get back to my mission, break out the whip cream and the cherries and then we go through all the fly positions…oh..wait…um….I mean the post…right…ok…(FOCUS GOOD)
CHAMP…I’m with you…I prefer clingy to cold if I have to choose between the two extremes…and as far as the nasatall…the 25/20′s in my gene pool tried to get mine, but I got a smack-able, handful back there and have gotten no complaints…so I apreciate your propensity for not making the young and the rumpless a dealbreaker…as for my dealbreakers…ummmm….let’s see..
As the CF(uk)O of GOOD GIRL Inc, I must expound upon the types of behaviors/experiences/attittudes that do not meet my minimum requirements for employment. If you:
-have a FELONY
-have 3 or more co-parents
-exhibit ni99a syndrome
-have never lived alone
-have no college (or military) experience to speak of
-have Diva Dude tendencies
-lack at least 2 close, personal (straight) MALE friends
-have a slim p3nis and/or Napoleon syndrome
-were eligible to vote and did not
Please do not apply for a position with our company! We are not publicly traded and therefore reserve the right to refuse consideration for our phenomenal positions if any of the following criteria have been met.
Thank you for your interest in GOOD GIRL Inc and as always… be GOOD or be GOOD AT IT! (wink)
Instead of not reading the comments you should have read the post.
No snark-o
can people catch a dam@n break today..maybe she just wanted to get that out. why is errybody tryna be the reading rainbow police today?
**whirls damp dust ruffle***
THANK YOU Comeback Girl…yes, I’m still mad lol.
thats ok…clearly some of us are going as Levar(ena) Burton for Halloween today..and we’re extra excited about it.
nO THE RULES OF THE GAME IS STAY ON TOPIC. cHAMP MAH NIZZEL COUNT THIS STUFF OFF.
NICCA! Back back! I’m just glad to see my baby stop through, so I don’t care if she wants to talk about purple striped elephants, NO HATING!
I’m sorry for yelling and sh!t, but then again if you are that sensitive phuck you.
Don’t mess with my E-wife. Thank you!
nAH SHE NEEDS TO GET IT CUZ. sHE READ THE POST JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. aND SHE NEEDS TO GET IT DOG.
‘YOU COULD EITHER CHASE THESE WOMEN OR CHASE THIS MONEY’ i’M CHASIN THIS MONEY.
Whateva…complete snark-o.
A couple that just came to me…
Boughetto women. Well seeing as how I’m living in the mecca of boughettoness, I guess I have to make this a grape flag. Sure you can’t eat at Applebees, Red Lobster, Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s; yet you don’t know what a salad fork is? Whatever. Sure you hate it when ni99as are too cheap to take a high class gal like yourself to Morton’s and Ruth’s Chris, yet you continously order your petit ribeye well done because you “don’t eat raw meat”. Mmhmm. Hey who am I to judge that you refuse to drink bottom shelf liquors yet have a wide collection of Sutter Home in your crib? SMH
“yet you continously order your petit ribeye well done because you “don’t eat raw meat”. ”
im sorry..Im well done from the cradle to the grave (ive been told im a ghetto fab foodie)
..i don’t like to see pink at all.Lea & Perrins can’t even mask the taste of runny blood…
My cousin orders her steaks rare.
I always tell her, why don’t you just order that ish raw?
Cut into it and blood goes running ‘cross the plate.
I don’t even wanna eat my food now, thanks.
Medium well, please and thank you.
i dunno Ms. T..i can “taste pink” even in medium well..really well done steak has a nice “chard” taste almost like chocolate…
see (Dorian) my Boughetto @zz can EXPLAIN why i like my meat well done.
‘i can “taste pink”’
You know you done set yourself up right??
::giggle::
i think people know not to touch dat ms. t.
*SECRET SNICKER* AHU AHAHAHAHAA
“see (Dorian) my Boughetto @zz can EXPLAIN why i like my meat well done”
That still doesn’t make it right. For all that we might as well go to Outback and get you the $12.99 “ribeye” and you get it well done because it’ll taste exactly the same.
im not opposed to outback..i just know that i prolly wont be gettin no chateaubriand …there know what i mean son?
LMAO
I like my filet mignon butterflied please, cause I dont do pink or red in my meat
sAY MEAT FOR ME ONE MORE TIME…
let me whisper it in your ear, come here.
MEAT
cAREFUL YOU MIGHT GET BIT
*gROWELLS SOFT YET FERVENTLY*
*pLAYING OOH BABY i LIKE IT RAW IN MY HEAD*
WOOOOOWWW… you had way to much fun on the streets today, didn’tcha?
pLEASE BELIEVE IT. i SEE YOU AIN’T FAR B-HIND ME. uHM YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT HOME SAFE IN YOUR CONDITION?
sheeit… why u think i’m still in my office…
good thing for me i take the train. i should be fine by the time i get back to my car….
filet mignon is the only type of steak i prefer cooked medium. other cuts can be medium well.
most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…
~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini line, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.
this is interesting.
The Champ say’s
“i’d sleep on satin bed pillows in the mold of bria myles’s hindparts.”
You and me both brother. You and me both.
I watched that Chris Brown, T-Pain video from time to time just for that moment.
(Doing the Homer gargle when he thinks of something delicious.)
bria’s unbelievable. in fact, i think she should just change her name to “bria’s unbelievable”.
most of my WCFs have been mentioned already. but while on my brisk walk to work (why i was in a hurry to get here at 12:30p is beyond me) i thought of another…
~hairy men. there used to be a time when the slightest hint of chest hair made me uncomfortable and sent me running in the opposite direction. but now i’m over it. kind of. overactive hair follicles can be helped. i mean, for some one (read: me) who has to tweeze the hell outta her eyebrows to keep them sharp, arched, and separated AND has to shave her legs all too often to keep them sleek and smooth, i understand completely. so after i’m done edging up the bikini area, i can hook up the mane growing out of my man’s thorax–i promise to be gentle.
Sorry to be tardy to the party (a la Brian from Family Guy )
and I aint mad that yall calling people out for not staying on topic I mean who wants to get 500 plus comments to their blog if half of them arent even staying with the topic!! thats some bullshit..but on with my list…..
skinny men- and im talking about bird chest skinny, I actually dont mind a man who is bony sometimes I actually prefer it especially if he is tall….that ups the chance that he is packing…8 out 10 doctors agree!
ugly feet- I could give two shits if a man has nice looking toes, long as he can clip them toenails his feet can look like they throwin up gang signs
college education- this has been referenced before ditto to all those that spoke on it …and just as long as he dont come at me with that “college education is just a conspiracy to drive black people into debt” I actually had a guy say that shit to me
No swagger- this was spoke on to, as long as he is not a straight up bitch he doesnt have to be the all extra cool, all the ladies pause when he steps into the room dude
Kids- this is only if he is at an age where its pretty much expected, like 35 or older if I was to date someone that old I would expect him to have some children just leave that baby mama drama shit at the door….
If I have more I’ll be back
Oh and sorry about the language didnt know the rules of engagement, my bad
Hey there day-me! It’s been forever!
Cherry red flags huh…
okay.
#1 smokers: It doesn’t bother me because I was raised around it.
#2 Men with a small gut or are a bit out of shape: I’m not that shallow. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if they tried to work that off but a little bit of this and that doesn’t bother me. I like teddy bears. They’re good for cuddles.
#3 Ugly feet / The basketball toes!: Well..I’m not a HUGE fan of jacked up feet but if he keeps his socks on it’s not a deal breaker. Plus I’m the kind of woman who would give my man a pedicure with my own hands.
#4 Hair Loss?!!! This is a big one. I’m 30 now and as I get older I’m noticing that this is something many men in the age bracket that I date are subject to. As long as he doesn’t look like George Jefferson with the two poodle puffs, then it’s all good. He just has to keep it very short or shave it all off.