why so serious?

by The Champ on September 3, 2008 · 539 comments

in theory

the champ, before his morning toast

the champ, before his morning toast

although i don’t have any 2520′s in my immediate circle, i’ve had more than a few white acquaintances, co-workers, f-buddies, and i even know a few people who have a couple white friends. when you combine this information with the fact that i’ve attended predominately white schools my entire life, it’s apparent that i’m a white person expert. i know white people. if “white people” were “crack”, i’d be jojo hailey. if “knowing white peoples habits” were “lazy ass music”, i’d be “jockin effing jay-z”.

although this expertise has proven to be extremely valuable when creasing khaki’s or watching “the house of payne“, in no other way has it helped me as much as it has when comparing and contrasting the habits of young whites with us (“us” being, “american black people” or “north american n*ggas”…whichever you prefer)

now, it’s common knowledge among us that white people admire and emulate much of the sh*t that we bring to the table. from our music and our women, to our “cool” and justin slayer, there’s a multitude of sh*t born in our community that continue to inspire adulation and envy. yet, as i continue to observe the actions and general mores of our paled skinned brethren, i realize that there are a few aspects of their behavior that i admire as well.

today, in true vsb.com fashion, the champ will discuss one “typically white” behavior that could prove to be extremely benefical to us and our dating selves if we chose to adopt it. of course, i’m referring to…

…their ability to have unadulterated and unpretentious fun.

***sidenote: the champ realizes that he is making many blanket generalizations, but is only doing so because he feels that he needs to use some hyperbole to get his point across. if you have a bit of an issue with the subject matter, please try to remember that even though the champ is a virulent racist, sexist, homophobe, and jingoist he’s fair.***

to expound a bit, here is a list of things a typical “north american n*gga” needs in place in order to have fun when partying

—perfect music. in this case, “perfect” describes a certain type of music that must be played and the percentage of time devoted to the playing of said music. what defines “perfect” varies from person to person, but unless the music at the establishment falls within 85 percent of that persons personal perfect music quota, the experience will not be seen as favorable

—a favorable male to female ratio

—a favorable number of cute-to-bagable/bangable members of the opposite sex

—a slight to moderate level of intoxication

—favorably priced (or free) access to their favorite intoxicant

—favorable “outside clothes”, an outfit which allows one to moderately stand out without looking like they spent 70 minutes plotting exactly what to wear

—a favorable number of like-minded comrades accompanying them

here is a list of things a typical “white person” needs in place in order to have fun when partying

—oxygen (and this is negotiable)

case in point: i live in shadyside, an area of the burgh filled with the type of white people parodied at stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. i can’t even leave my apartment without tripping over a prius or an american apparel skinny tie. basically, a perfect place to bag drunken, liberal, snizzles continue my observations.

anyway, last saturday, a couple young women who live below me (ha!) decided to grill some chicken and swine, setting up shop in a somewhat shaded section of our parking lot, an area which can’t be any larger than 150 square feet. not exactly the optimum place for a party, right? well, that’s exactly what i thought when i left the crib for a minute to drive to the arab seafood/soulfood spot to buy some blank cd’s home depot. when i returned an hour later, that tiny square section of our parking lot had turned into south padre island. there was a four man touch-tab football game, badminton, a one woman wet t-shirt contest and some convoluted yet compelling game which looked to be a combination of the westminster dog show and twister. all of this at 10:15 in the f**king morning.

as i watched them party like it was the last episode of ma.s.h., i couldn’t help but think to myself how much easier sh*t would be for us if we allowed ourselves to just let the f**k go sometimes, and how that would translate to our dating selves.  how much happier would we be if we didn’t have these terrible self-limiting constraints about appropriate labels for non-married significant others, and weren’t so unreasonably obsessed with swagger and exceedingly optimum ass-to-waist ratios. if we didn’t require our potential mates to take both the pool and the extended pinkie test. if “nice” wasn’t a four letter word, and asking someone to smile wasn’t akin to asking them to volunteer for a colonoscopy.

but then…i remembered that i hadn’t eaten yet, and all idealistic thoughts went astray as i sauntered over to the party square to grab a hot dog and quarterback the football game. i scuffed up my white pro-keds a bit too…but it was cool. its just a sneaker, right? it’s really not that serious.

—the champ

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{ 539 comments… read them below or add one }

1 aja September 3, 2008 at 12:19 am

I am really feeling you on this post. For many years I was the only black person on staff and had to be the voice of the black community..ugh, but thats another story..for another time.

Yeah, I really admire them for how they “let their hair down”. They are not caught up in being seen a certain way, or really caring what others think . They just do what comes natural. Hanging around my fellow caucasions have taught me the art of “ufck it” and relax..it aint that crucial.

But what is up with them and hair? They are always amazed by the different styles black women can wear..lol

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2 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:39 am

lmao! you are so right about that aja….they are just so amazed when i rock a new do! askin me if i cut my hair and junk…i find it amusing, really.

ive been going to school surrounded by white folk since i was 12, i think that whole “ambassador to the race” thing just comes way too easily to me these days. lol…i mean, they get a lot of sarcasm when i answer, but ive come to grips with the fact that i may be the only black friend they have….

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3 aja September 3, 2008 at 12:42 am

you are so right about that one! I really do think im the only black person they know on a personal level. Basically i just say whats on my mind..and i just keep it real. The real funny thing is..most of them are republicans and im the only lonely democrat holding it down..lol

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4 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:32 am

good for you! lol…i only have one republican friend and we just dont talk politics! but yeah, im the same way, i just give it to em straight….and to be honest, if im calling this person friend, then i would prefer they look like a jackazz in front of me rather than gettin stabbed for saying something stupid to the wrong person! lol

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5 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 2:44 pm

you know, i read a study a couple months that showed republicans to not only be generally happier people than democrats, they live longer, volunteer more (time and money), and are less prone to addiction.

i have no idea why i’m sharing this info…but i think it could be relevant in some way and sh*t

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6 Leila September 3, 2008 at 9:44 pm

It’s probably cuz they’re richer lol. I’ve never met anyone who’s broke and Republican….

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7 suga September 3, 2008 at 12:48 am

LAwd, ha mercy, if one mo white person acts stunned and amazed by my afro, oohin and aahin, and reaches out to caress it, they’re getting chopped in the throat, no questions asked

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8 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:54 am

oh yeah, i cant stand for folk to touch my hair….but they see the murderous look in my eye when they reach their little hands up and pull it back with a quickness!

i like to see my hair as a white person’s magic trick…TADA!!!

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9 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:23 am

i like to see my hair as a white person’s magic trick…TADA!!!

ME Too… I love to do any and everything with my hair. twists, curls, fro, twists and curls, twists and fros, braids, hawks, pin ups up do’s , straight.. you name it and I have probably worn it this month. Its getting harder now to get away with some of the more Fro centric styles since my hair is growing but I still will buss it out on casual day..LMAO

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10 aja September 3, 2008 at 1:05 am

YESSSS!! I try to change my hair every week just to keep em guessing… and you touch it you die! and they really dont realize why when it starts to sprinkle i make a mad dash inside! lol

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11 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:09 am

lmao! well thats not me…but they do tend to wonder why when it starts to sprinkle my fro starts to shrink!

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12 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:26 am

rant

and you know what…white folk dont know how to touch hair right! yeah, i said it! if im rockin a big round fro pushed back with a headband, then the appropriate way to touch it would be to pat it…but nooooo, white folk wanna grab a section and pull and isht! im like, do you know how long it took for me to get it like this?!?!?

/rant

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13 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:39 am

“if one mo white person acts stunned and amazed by my afro, oohin and aahin, and reaches out to caress it, they’re getting chopped in the throat”

It ain’t just white folks that touch my fro. Black ppl do too. And I mainly ice-grill those that do it b/c as everyone knows, a perfectly-shaped ‘fro can be hard to achieve at times. So when folks touch it, there is a dent there and that makes me VERY irate!

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14 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:14 am

as everyone knows, a perfectly-shaped ‘fro can be hard to achieve at times.
MAYNE a dented fro is enough to make me go B. A. Baracus on some ninja’s I pity the fool…..

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15 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:35 am

excellent A-Team ref! lmao

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16 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:26 am

“So when folks touch it, there is a dent there and that makes me VERY irate!”

lol…you sound like “undercover brother”

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17 B 23 September 3, 2008 at 12:46 pm

I don’t enjoy when people touch my hair period (except for the occasional scalp massage). It doesn’t matter the ethnicity, if they’re family, friend or whatnot. If I put in the time and effort or the money to achieve a style, I want it to last a while. This includes holding off any activity (-ies) that would prohibit my style from remaining crisp.

Many nights have been spent sleeping on an arm to maintain a style.

You can admire it, be amazed or surprised my hair can do what it does, but don’t touch it!

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18 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 1:12 pm

It’s called assault people. Unwanted touch.

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19 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 1:29 pm

omg, i HATE when people wanna touch my hair, or worse yet, they hug and just HAPPEN to bump up against the hair. i immediately get aggravated and reach for the mirror…cause i can’t have a lopsided fro!

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20 Vodka&Milk September 3, 2008 at 11:38 am

They do love to touch your hair, lol. I”m like, “It’s hair! Geesh, lmao.”

-Sasha Two Pistols

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21 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:34 am

I dont know but I have had to cut several short for trying to touch the fro. I had to go through “sensitivity” training in the past for these such instances. Touching the hair and trying to talk to me while we are in the bathroom have to be 2 of the things that annoy me most about yt’s

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22 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:41 am

awww, youre not a fan of the piss n’ chat? lmao!

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23 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:33 am

“the piss n’ chat?”

this is one of the finalists for the name of the first vsb.com podcast

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24 Eathan September 3, 2008 at 3:23 pm

I gotta agree. It’s that f*kk it attitude that sucks me in all the time. Of course some baggable females help also. I’ve always loved the party anywhere, anytime mentality. Ya made some good points.

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25 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 12:33 am

Interesting…

Yes, white people can have a good time. As long as alcohol is involved. Lots of alcohol.

Me and drunk white folk just.don’t.mix.

I’ve walked through New Orleans at 5 a.m. during Essence fest , the concerts were over, people had been drinking for hours, without trippin over nary a drunken negro.

Wrigleyville in Chicago at 11 p.m. after a Cubs game? White girls falling off of low curbs, frat boys layin in the gutter and two white kids carrying a couch down the street, stopping to pose with it in front of various bars. Yes…this did happen.

They are often loaded and ready to head home at 11 pm, when we are just leaving the house.

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26 aja September 3, 2008 at 12:53 am

Now there truly is a difference between the behavior of a drunk caucasian and the sober caucasian…*i wonder if there’s a scientific study on that, and if not..there should be one*

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27 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:29 am

“Now there truly is a difference between the behavior of a drunk caucasian and the sober caucasian…*i wonder if there’s a scientific study on that, and if not..there should be on”

there is, and its called “the kennedy family”

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28 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:00 pm

“there is, and its called “the kennedy family””

Can we say skiing while playing football and operating a video camera?

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29 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Whoa! there! (in true New England form….)

there wont be any Kennedy bashing.

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30 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:37 pm

“there wont be any Kennedy bashing.”

But it’s so hard not to…

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31 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 1:48 pm

yeah but up in these parts we take our Kennedy’s quite serious… faults (murder, curse, giving your daughter an unnecessary lobotomy, crashing into trees, affairs, marrying a republican idiot) and all

Patrick is my state rep his prescription drug shenanigans, fighting with TSA and such is nothing to laugh about

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32 shatani September 3, 2008 at 8:27 pm

im glad you were here to handle it IH! i may live in philly, but im a boston gal through and through! and ted kennedy was very nice when i met him in the 7th grade! lol

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33 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:12 pm

I believe the “Kennedy Curse” is real.

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34 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:04 am

LOL yeah wrigleyville is the BEST place for people watching (until them drunk white folks decide they want to loiter IN THE STREETS while its bumper to bumper traffic).

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35 Miss Patterson September 3, 2008 at 3:15 pm

have you ever seen a drunk negro at freaknic? they’re just as bad.

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36 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:33 am

as a fellow expert on the melanin challenged, i would have to say that you are dead on with this post. white folks can have fun anytime, anyplace and i feel its something to be admired…im kind of the same way – very easily amused (product of being an only child, i think!)

as sad as it is to say, i often find that im more comfortable chillin with my white friends going to some seedy bar and talkin smack or something than i would be going to, say, a cookout or party where most of the people will be black. i feel extremely self-conscious around black folk and not even remotely so with white folk….like i have to look just so and be dressed just so or i will face judgment and ridicule.

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37 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

White people are definitely more adept at letting their hair down. One of my good friends, a white girl, is my favorite partner for dining out. She’s open to eating new stuff and won’t frown at something you’re eating if it doesn’t look appetizing to her. She’ll even try it.

I am apt to enjoy myself anywhere (though I prefer the hole in the wall over a fancy joint any day) and anyone who puts on the funky face if the atmosphere isn’t “just so” gets taken off the ‘hang out partner” list.

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38 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:46 am

im feelin that…ive found a great group of black chicks to hang with here and they are a great time no matter what we’re doing. im lucky!

although, i cant front…im not big on trying new foods. lol

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39 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 12:59 am

Yeah. My friend of (gasp) 20 years is the ultimate hangout partner. No funky faces. Even if the place is whack we will entertain ourselves making snarky comments.

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40 Jennwill September 4, 2008 at 12:01 am

I echo your sentiments…I love people that can go anywhere and have a good time. Seedy bar, hollywood club, mansion party, bbq at my granny’s. I have been fortunate to always have at least one friend that doesn’t require at least 87.9% black ppl at an establishment, with 42.1% of that being sexy above 6 ft tall black men with good jobs and nice cars and no baby mommas (I have very specific friends). My current running buddy that can go anywhere, do anything, hang with anybody, is a persian/indian chick. We have a blast-wherever we are, despite what anyone else is doing.

The y-t’s know the way to go on this…plus they are quick to buy a round or 4, there is no squabbling with them come bill time, they are HAPPY to pay. Try to get more then 4 blk ppl at a table and NOT fight over the bill. Cheap behinds…

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41 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:31 am

“i feel extremely self-conscious around black folk and not even remotely so with white folk….like i have to look just so and be dressed just so or i will face judgment and ridicule.”

why do you think this is?

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42 shatani September 3, 2008 at 8:31 pm

oh, experiences during my youth and sh*t….

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43 Vodka&Milk September 3, 2008 at 11:42 am

I feel you on that. And it’s basically because “we” are so judgemental on each other, judging hair, clothes, etc. And they’re just like “Hey, we’re here to have a good time, let’s drink!”

It really doesn’t take much to get them started, lol. But I feel you, going to a bar with white people is a fun experience because everytime you go its hilarious. Not that I don’t love my people, I do. I just wish we weren’t so quick to judge ourselves and just learn to let loose and have fun, regardless of where we are. You know some of us can only have fun in a certain club or lounge. We need to migrate out and experience new things, and you might just have a good time doing it.

-Sasha Two Pistols

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44 Miss Patterson September 3, 2008 at 3:26 pm

i’m with you on your observation shatani. i’m generally low-maintenance when i go out- i look nice but it doesn’t take me a year to get ready- and my melanin challenged friends are usually ready in 15 minutes and ready to have fun. sometimes, i feel all of the prep work takes away from your ability to go with the flow. i could find myself doing shots in a loud bar to riding a bull with a million strangers to singing karaoke off key on camera with no make-up. usually my people are opposed to the randomness that prevails with my mc-friends. also, i think i should get extra points for my ability to get ready in a half hour and still look cute. i also smile and laugh.

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45 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 12:36 am

“an area which can’t be any larger than 150 square feet. not exactly the optimum place for a party, right?”

I always joke that it’s not officially summer in Chicago unless a group of white folk fall through the back porch of their north side apartment. Happens every year: 30 or so fools pack on a 5×8 wooden porch. And then they crash through. Booze is always involved.

Have attended many functions with black folk and, if we see more than 6 people on the deck, we just ask one to pass us a plate. :) Uptight? Maybe. Blessed with common sense? Definitely.

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46 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:32 am

“I always joke that it’s not officially summer in Chicago unless a group of white folk fall through the back porch of their north side apartment. Happens every year: 30 or so fools pack on a 5×8 wooden porch. And then they crash through. Booze is always involved.”

ah yes. i think this is right up there with the first 85 degree day as the official start of summer in every northern city

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47 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:35 pm

“ah yes. i think this is right up there with the first 85 degree day as the official start of summer in every northern city”

For white folk its 60 degrees. They are out in shorts and whatnot. We (negros) will still have on our NorthFace parkas. Or at least a pair of gloves. lol.

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48 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:01 pm

hell, it hit 70 degrees in DC last week and i swear i saw a dude with a zip up hoodie AND a northface jacket on.

i had on a wifebeater and shorts.

then again, dudes in DC stay on some way too many clothes tip anyway. probably why they stay shooting eachother. they hot and agitational.

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49 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 2:51 pm

“then again, dudes in DC stay on some way too many clothes tip anyway. probably why they stay shooting eachother. they hot and agitational.”

honestly, i think that contributed to at least 35 percent of the LA gang violence in the 80′s and 90′s. its 99 degrees out and your walking around in dickies and flannel shirts, a combo that would make anyone want to do a drive by

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50 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 3:21 pm

omg. lmao. literally.

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51 shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 4:25 pm

Yeah being hot and being hungry or being hot and hungry are two reasons most people shoot off….

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52 shatani September 3, 2008 at 8:39 pm

lmao! i love it when its still clearly winter time, but just a little mild and white folk go WILD…shorts and tank tops when the snow aint even all the way melted!

and then theres the most mind bottling thing ever…the shorts/sweatshirt combo! i mean, are ya hot or are ya cold??

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53 miss kate September 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

**applause**

folks drive me batty with that overly picky isht. A couple of random hoodrats beefing at coatcheck/a less than stellar entree at dinner/lots of short dudes in the club should NOT ruin your MFing evening!

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54 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:43 am

nah…as long as there’s people to mock theres fun to be had! lol

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55 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 9:14 am

that sh!t (mocking people in the club) can get old fast. Sooner or later you have to do something that is actually fun

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56 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 9:34 am

Amen

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57 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 4:19 pm

thats when you start tripping drunk folk and looking at the floor as if they stumbled on something. LOL whee!

I never done it b4 but it sounds entertaining

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58 Leila September 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

More black people should let their hair down and f**k what everyone else thinks. We worry so much about other people judging us and what they’re gonna think/say so we hold back a bit. I stopped caring a few years ago and just do my thing and am a lot happier now…

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59 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:33 am

good for you and sh*t. good for you

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60 shatani September 3, 2008 at 12:41 am

oh and PS. “jingoist”?? thats hot!

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61 Luckyred September 3, 2008 at 12:42 am

ahhhhh…the fun you had-wish I was there with you.

yeah, but they don’t worry about the next pair of jordans coming out and then being broke for the next 2 weeks or so.

they will go to a resturant they never been to before and pay 15$ for a dish only later to say to their friends that they didn’t like it but they love the environment and the homely feel to it.

they don’t mind trying different things and also they love to network…our world of black people–really not so much.

some black not all but some act as though when they learn knowledge to get ahead will not share and then put others in a box like their useless

white people will loan money to others because they support each other/ be the bum–iest looking person but have dough stacks saved like the world is coming to an end/

I think you people get my point…maybe?

try some new thangs people…

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62 aja September 3, 2008 at 12:46 am

“some black not all but some act as though when they learn knowledge to get ahead will not share and then put others in a box like their useless”

*dapz on that one..Message!*

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63 Luckyred September 3, 2008 at 12:48 am

hey thanks aja…I’m just saying why can’t people have some diversity in their lives…right? right.

Love, Help, and Encourage others…yep. that’s right

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64 aja September 3, 2008 at 12:58 am

thats refreshing to hear… :)

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65 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:47 am

“they will go to a resturant they never been to before and pay 15$ for a dish only later to say to their friends that they didn’t like it but they love the environment and the homely feel to it.”

I find black folk do too much networking and that’s why I steer clear of certain clubs/bars/events. I am grooving, I do NOT want your business card. I also purposely avoid asking people what they do for a living in a bar setting. Now, if I am on the prowl, I do ask cuz I need to get as much info as I possibly can to text to friends in case I come up missing. And, yes…I’ve done this.

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66 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:50 am

thats interesting…ive never been networked! lol…im the opposite, i always wanna know what people do. but im usually reluctant to tell them what i do, cuz thats gonna be a whole ‘nother set of dumbazz questions!

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67 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:50 am

I find black folk do too much networking and that’s why I steer clear of certain clubs/bars/events. I am grooving, I do NOT want your business card..
Oh my gawd.. another pet peeve especially when said business card is printed off line and dude is CEO and president of a record label, production company or a real estate “mogul” LMAO. I know a chick that ordered cards from her job (her title didnt provide for them to be printed by the company) and had them printed with her ‘club” name. And then got mad because people at the office kept asking her who the he-ll was tiffany or if that was her middle name.

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68 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:56 am

oh lord! folks do some idiotic stuff! ive never met a fake CEO, but i cant wait! lmao

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69 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 5:12 am

I know someone who had cards printed at the popular online shop. The free cards. “Rockstar” was her title.

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70 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:00 am

Who is still carrying biz cards? I thought everyone just beamed their info between Blackberries/iPhones/PDAs.

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71 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 9:18 am

black people network for different reasons. The really light skint people I knew networked to find new bars, new women, and new drankin partners

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72 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:03 pm

word.

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73 Leila September 3, 2008 at 9:46 am

“white people will loan money to others because they support each other/ be the bum–iest looking person but have dough stacks saved like the world is coming to an end”

That is so true! I just moved out to Seattle and this place is filled with millionaires and you can’t even tell by the way the people dress. I think the stat is like 1 in 8 people here are millionaires, but everyone dresses real low-key. I also remember this one dude I went to school with dressed like a complete bum. He didn’t like he even showered much and turned out that his family are millionaires and lived in a mansion in Long Island.

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74 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:34 am

“I think the stat is like 1 in 8 people here are millionaires, but everyone dresses real low-key”

1 in 8? me thinks thats a tad high

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75 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:05 pm

could be her suburb…
OR…if it’s actually in Seattle, 1 in 8 are millionaires and 4 in 8 are absolutely dirt poor…like they don’t get checks…or money orders. period.

that would bring seattle right about to the national average.

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76 juli September 3, 2008 at 8:03 pm

I live in Seattle and grew up here. I’m poor as hell and have NEVER known a millionaire..(both my brothers and my sisterinlaw work at microsoft).. that being said, that stat is WAY OFF. But it is true that the wealthy up here many times look like poor frugal white folk. They’re busy being “green” and recycling their underwear, and having their microwaves repaired so they don’t add to the landfills. LOL

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77 shatani September 3, 2008 at 8:44 pm

recycled underwear, huh? thats deep.

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78 Leila September 3, 2008 at 9:48 pm

I’m still adjusting to the recycling! It’s so different than the east coast, they recycle everything here and take it seriously! There’s different cans for different things, it’s confusing…

79 Leila September 3, 2008 at 9:46 pm

lol! I read it in a guide book about Seattle. It might have included the suburbs though, not sure.

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80 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 12:52 am

I must first say that the list you provided concerning black people needs should be prefaced as “uppity or Bourgeois” cause all hood ninja’s need is a kick it spot, a gallon of burnetts,orange or cranberry juice and fi smoke. food needs are .rotel, wings, sweet tuna fish some spades and dominoes. The music requirements are simple too…Pac (starting from thug life going forward), Jay z, ball and g and some old school soul for later in the evening.. al green, hathaway, hutch, marvin gaye here my dear, ya know how it goes ….LOL

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81 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 12:55 am

OK…toss some roots reggae and a bit of conscious dance hall into the mix you listed, a few Heine’s and some margarita mix and it’s a party. :)

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82 suga September 3, 2008 at 12:59 am

Dont forget Frankie Beverly.

Ooh, I aint had rotel in years..mmm good.

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83 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:08 am

whats rotel?

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84 southernabelle September 3, 2008 at 1:23 am

LOL..Rotel is a brand canned tomatoes..you can use it as dip/salsa or add it to cheese nachos..lol

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85 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:27 am

ah, i see! sounds good…imma have that at my next party. lol

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86 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:41 am

whats rotel?
ROTEL CHEESE DIP

1 lb. ground beef
2 lb. box of Velveeta cheese
1 med. onion
1 can Rotel tomatoes

Cook ground beef and drain off grease. Add chopped onion and let cook until onion is tender. Add Rotel tomatoes (break up tomatoes with your hand). Slice up Velveeta and add to other ingredients. After cheese is melted, remove from heat and let stand until thickened. Then serve with plain Doritos or Tostitos.
THis is rotel.. a ghetto hood classic!!!

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87 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:45 am

*copy. paste. print*

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88 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:25 am

copy. paste. print*

LOL dont add the onions though.. people always trying to do to much…. they will food network themselves into a f*cked up dish everytime….

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89 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:37 am

“food network” as a verb?? me likey! lol

90 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:45 am

the style network also works in much the same way…
that ho got on knee socks and heels..shakes head sadly… she done style networked her self into a f*cked up outfit…..I think that was past participle usage….

91 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:54 am

what A minute?! Who didn’t know what Rotel was?
Oh man. I forget e’ryone is not from TX…lol

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92 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm

“what A minute?! Who didn’t know what Rotel was?”

**raising hand**

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93 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 5:35 pm

this is for you and Luvvie…lol

http://www.texmex.net/Rotel/main.htm

94 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:02 pm

*Hangs head in shame* I sho’ll didn’t know what rotel was.

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95 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 10:09 am

rotel is delish…my aunt made some on sunday at her crib…i hadn’t eaten all day, and in less than 15 minutes, i’d downed two plates full…

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96 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 10:42 am

I didn’t know Rotel was hood, hell this is a staple at almost all family/friendly get togethers.

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97 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:26 pm

I add jalapenos to mine, cause I likes it spicy…lol

98 eff yo couch September 3, 2008 at 11:07 am

That sounds like my breakfast for today. In honor of the Champ, I’ll have to swap the Nachos with slighty burned toast

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99 Liz September 3, 2008 at 11:37 am

I must try this lol. I think we need a VSB Cookbook. This recipe shall be in said cookbook.

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100 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:26 pm

I 2nd this…I would like to learn some recipes from other parts of the country…lol

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101 kalia September 3, 2008 at 8:42 pm

lol@plain doritos. do they really make them? doritios are my pet peeve….if they didn’t have all that thick onion-flavored powder on them they would be ok, but then i guess they would just be plain tortilla chips.

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102 V Renee September 3, 2008 at 7:36 am

Please don’t forget Frankie!!!

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103 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:35 am

“I must first say that the list you provided concerning black people needs should be prefaced as “uppity or Bourgeois” cause all hood ninja’s need is a kick it spot, a gallon of burnetts,orange or cranberry juice and fi smoke. food needs are .rotel, wings, sweet tuna fish some spades and dominoes. The music requirements are simple too…Pac (starting from thug life going forward), Jay z, ball and g and some old school soul for later in the evening.. al green, hathaway, hutch, marvin gaye here my dear, ya know how it goes ….LOL”

you forgot about the guns and the bullets. you can’t forget about the guns and the bullets

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104 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 9:36 am

Yeah thats kind of where they lose me

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105 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 11:24 am

you forgot about the guns and the bullets. you can’t forget about the guns and the bullets

awww mayne you one of THEM ninja’s from the suggested “preface”…. most of my experiences involving running and ducking for cover to avoid bullet spray happened at night clubs. I have heard shooting at parties but I have never been shot at (at a house party).

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106 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:09 pm

i think this depends on where you’re from. see, in LA, clubs close hella early. so the chances of getting shot at the club decrease since most ignant ninja behavior happens between 230am and 4am, which is prime club let out time in every other major city.

now in NY, some clubs stay open later…so you’re safer staying to the end since, once again, ignant ninja prime time is 230am to 4am.

no lie…this cat left my club one night, walked a BLOCK…one block…there are still street lights, and was robbed at gunpoint and forced to strip bukkey nekkid…in front of a church…

ONE BLOCK AWAY.

umm…

we don’t have that problem so much anymore. come to my club today!

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107 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:19 pm

PJ, whats good this Friday? I’m a be in the district

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108 puff September 3, 2008 at 12:55 am

this post made me think (thanks, VSB, for helping me keep my braincells working and sh*t – probably a good thing as i almost fell asleep in my first class of the semester)…

my closest group of friends at college, for whatever reason, is a group of asian/hispanic/white (read, all white) guys who i always, absolutely always, have an amazing time with, even if all we’re doing is drinking cr*ppy beer, smoking hookah and watching south park. when we add illegal drugs in the mix, it gets even better. i appreciate their total lack of pretension (they’re all kinda screwbally) and their willingness to fully embarrass themselves in public just because.

the only thing that kills me is the music… i’m sorry, i’m african, and bass runs in my blood (one of my white guy friends actually asked me once – when some song came on the radio and i immediately started winding and shaking my a$$ around – if i was physically unable to not dance when i heard music)… there’s a limit as to how many times i can listen to slipknot, korn and avenge sevenfold without running out of the room screaming “dutty wine! dutty wine!”

i will say that africans are also pretty unpretentious (as long as they haven’t lived abroad too long) when it comes to partying – some palm wine, jollof rice and chicken mixed with premier gaou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJMpeYwifEU) is all we need to get crunk.

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109 suga September 3, 2008 at 1:00 am

mmmmm, jollof rice

ya’ll makin me hungry..stopit

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110 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:06 am

I am hungry now.

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111 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:04 am

oh SNAP!! i love jollof rice so damn much! im mad you mentioned it cuz now i want some! lol

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112 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:07 am

Jollof rice is THAT BIZNESS!! My mama usually cooks it on Sundays. She didn’t this week and I’m craving it.

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113 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:07 am

“i will say that africans are also pretty unpretentious (as long as they haven’t lived abroad too long) when it comes to partying”

I went to Caribana this year with a bunch of Kenyans…they were obsessed with making sure there was always plenty of top shelf liquor on hand. Good times. Good times.

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114 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:09 am

Yes, us Africans like to kick it! Give us our music (any really), and we start a party. Then add the spraying of the money, and you have instant carnival.

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115 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:12 am

Jamaicans can have a good time too, I must say. And Haitians. And you ain’t seen a party till you give some fools in the N.O. a mini umbrella and start that second line…

lol.

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116 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:44 am

I co sign on Jamaicans… I got Married in Ocho Rios and when I tell you we partied like it was 1999 for real? The clubs were small, dark and hot but when I tell you once they started jammin we sweated our way into a funky good time, literally.

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117 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:15 am

bwahahahahahaha omg when i was a kid i made so much money off of spraying, it was disgusting – i’m mad it’s been made illegal in nigeria now, i wanted to be a professional sprayee when i grew up…

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118 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:18 am

Shut the *gasp* UP!!!! Spryaing is illegal in Naija now??? WTF?? As if there aren’t more important thing to tackle, like the rampant intergovernmental corruption or the ineffective local police forces. SPRAYING money at parties is what the goubment decided to stop??

Rubbish!! Foolish IJOTS!

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119 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:23 am

“Rubbish!! Foolish IJOTS!”

you just made my evening perfect.

and in reply,

“kai! see me see wahala!”

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120 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:50 am

Eh heh! I’m glad you know. Abeg make u na go warn your gubment to get their lives 2getha.

121 kamakula September 3, 2008 at 11:12 am

wtf? I was counting on that to pay for my honeymoon!

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122 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:37 am

spraying?

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123 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Spraying is when during a party, whike you are dancing, you are literally “sprayed” with money. People either put money on you, all make it rain on ya.

Africans been “making it rain” for DECADES.

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124 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:10 pm

I love going to African weddings for this very reason. African men LOVE LOVE LOVE women with curves and extra on them…

125 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:25 pm

I’ve seen this at a Nigeran party as well, I was like…dayum…okay…lol

126 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:18 am

you aint playin bout no Africans…a good baseline, some good food and a few beers and its a party everytime!

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127 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:50 am

Africans dig Heinekins and Guinness (aka Stout). It’s at MOST of our shindigs.

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128 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:52 am

you aint said nothin but a word! lol…i cant imagine whats gonna happen at my graduation party.

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129 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:54 am

Oh and I must not forget Bailey’s Irish Cream. We kicks it HARD w/ our Irish Cream.

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130 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:56 am

girl…i LOVE me some baileys! and khalua…you cant try and part an African from his/her khalua!

131 kamakula September 3, 2008 at 11:13 am

haha, I knew I wasn’t the only one!

132 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:04 pm

bailey’s love is universal, like sex and ruby red grapefruit juice

133 puff September 3, 2008 at 2:04 am

nne, biko bring me wan guinness make i balance well well

oh naija

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134 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 9:40 am

LMAO! I’m in tears over here

135 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 2:26 am

I think most folk of color dig Heineken. No matter who’s throwing the party – Haitian, Dominican (from Dominica, NOT the Dominican Republic), Jamaican, South siders, west siders, Kenyans, lol. – there is Heineken. Jamaicans may toss in Red Stripe for good measure.

Have only seen the MGD at a party thrown by white friends. But even they had Heineken. And Stella.

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136 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 8:06 am

stella artois and st pauli girls. kiss them for me would ya Vdot?

137 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:28 am

Oh and I must not forget Bailey’s Irish Cream. We kicks it HARD w/ our Irish Cream.

really? where I am from we drink either clear or dark liquor. On occasion we will have some Alize (now replaced by Hypnotiq) but I didnt even know what bailey’s Irish cream was until I was out of college.

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138 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:39 am

thats a shame! baileys is liquid paradise! thats all i drank when i went to ireland and at dinner i always had baileys cheesecake….sooooo good!

139 malaika September 3, 2008 at 3:57 am

Alcohol is the only requirement Kenyans have……… We can kick it anywhere if there’s alcohol and food.We can party from Sunday to Sunday and it never stops. There are some places which can be classified as really remote with maybe two shops and a restaurant bt as long as the food and alcohol is there it becomes everyone’s destination for the weekend. Actually the more remote the better we just carry the things we think we’ll need and the party is so on……I love my Kenyan people……… plus the Ugandans as well they are serious competition when it comes to partying and my 9ja people

Plus cosign on the Bailey’s and Amarula…..
pl

140 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 9:28 am

Luvvie meloves guiness. my friends look at me strange when i drink it. 1 or 2 cold mugs of stout on tap and i’m nice wit it. …i will swallow a couple of German Beck’s too and be something nice.

i can’t be falling out drunk and sh*t, the khan got sh*t to live for. coupla 2 tree beers and sips a few liquors on ice and i’m properly beveraged.

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141 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 8:10 am

puff remembers:

“there’s a limit as to how many times i can listen to slipknot, korn and avenge sevenfold without running out of the room screaming “dutty wine! dutty wine!”

heh, heh, heh (inhale) whooooo!
Puff says:

“i will say that africans are also pretty unpretentious (as long as they haven’t lived abroad too long)…”

Puff i’ve seen way too much of this when it comes to everything. it’s like a holier than thou complex.

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142 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 8:19 am

…however i do have some really close Tanzanian (shout to Pamela) and Nigerian friends that party their azzes off. …some fine azz chix will cook and throw a party like it’s the last day on earth. …but its a few in the clique (men) who have that better than u American blacks vibe. …but otherwise coveting and trying to soak up everything else American. what is that?

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143 puff September 3, 2008 at 8:39 am

you should meet the ones who live in england, they’re even worse…. every party is some huge production requiring RSVPs via facebook, there’s always drama and i always get salty looks from all the chicks in 4 inch heels because i show up to parties prepared for bouger bouger (ie flip flops, shorts/jeans and whatever top)…

yeah, africans sometimes do need to get over that sh*t – you’re not african-american, tryna front like your name is sean when it’s SEUN, claiming you’re from brooklyn when you know full well your mama’s home in ijebu-ode…

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144 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:09 pm

“yeah, africans sometimes do need to get over that sh*t – you’re not african-american, tryna front like your name is sean when it’s SEUN, claiming you’re from brooklyn when you know full well your mama’s home in ijebu-ode…”

LMAO!! Puff, me I love you sha!

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145 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:08 pm

and i love you back – no be se go come (pidgin for “no homo”)

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146 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:04 pm

“tryna front like your name is sean when it’s SEUN”

I almost spit up my Sierra Mist. Met a dude I was gonna hook up with a friend. He’s Nigerian and told me his name was Sean. I told her and, she being an ignant Nigerian told me “that fools name is Seun.”

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147 sisanda September 3, 2008 at 10:17 am

” what is that?”

GK they are called B*tch-a**-ni99as, anybody who fronts on another black folk over issues of perceived social classes is an idiot. I mean not everyone can afford to study abroad, nor can every black person be from Nigeria or Kenya, F**k them.

One Luv to my North American Ni99as

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148 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:37 am

“i will say that africans are also pretty unpretentious (as long as they haven’t lived abroad too long) when it comes to partying – some palm wine, jollof rice and chicken mixed with premier gaou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJMpeYwifEU) is all we need to get crunk.”

i’d agree, which is why i prefaced it with “north american n*ggas”

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149 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:52 am

“i will say that africans are also pretty unpretentious (as long as they haven’t lived abroad too long) when it comes to partying – some palm wine, jollof rice and chicken mixed with premier gaou (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJMpeYwifEU) is all we need to get crunk.”

This is true, I’ve been to a few of these, and ya’ll do get down. I’ve been ribbed, for not drinking enough…lol

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150 blackberry molasses September 3, 2008 at 10:50 am

I just found this blog (thanks SBPH) and I’m kicking myself… though its prolly a good thing since I have a ton of work to do

I just had to shout out my fellow Africans WE INVENTED “PARTY”… that is all.

oh and co-sign that white peoples know how to have a blast… see: my best friend and her invention, the corona machine

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151 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:38 am

welcome and sh*t

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152 blackberry molasses September 3, 2008 at 11:59 am

thank you for the welcome and willingness to submit yourself to my random musings and generally f*cked up way of seeing the world….

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153 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 11:50 am

Way too true. I can remember partying from like friday afternoon until 15 minutes b4 church on sunday w/ some Zambians n Nigerians n some Ghanians. Catholic student association good times

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154 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:09 pm

hahahahaha yeah we african catholics are the worst… the party probably continued AFTER mass too… getting crunk offa communion wine and whatnot…

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155 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 2:41 pm

puff remind me to look you up to party during my b-day month

oh yeah the apple juice club never misses a Sunday

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156 shatani September 3, 2008 at 8:56 pm

big up, Ghana!! lol…you know folks can party when even the funerals are a big ole party.

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157 suga September 3, 2008 at 12:57 am

I feel you about white people having fun. I remember going to the white frat parties back in college, where there was no cover charge and FREE drank…lemme say that again…FREE drank. Of course the party was always in a frat house, and the FREE drank was whatever Chad bought from 7-11, but hell, it was FREE. The Black frat parties weren’t free, with no drank, and of course somebody would have to start fighting and the campus police would come in shuttin ish down before midnight. *smch* My people surely do try though. I respect their effort but we gots ta do better.

I think my Creolian roots shine through when it comes to partyin, because all I need is a shot of patron or a glass of wine, and one man (who doesn’t look like a gila monster) and I can have the time of my life.

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158 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:00 am

“I think my Creolian roots shine through when it comes to partyin, because all I need is a shot of patron or a glass of wine, and one man (who doesn’t look like a gila monster) and I can have the time of my life.”

As long as the booze is there, a true Creole will have a good time. :)

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159 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:53 am

Nah, the black frat parties weren’t free…them ninjas were FUNDRAISING lol! But being a member of a certain org got me in free when my bros threw the HOTTEST parties…replete with free drank and the obligatory fight at the end of the night after some ninja who couldn’t his liquor started feelin’ himself. Good times for me!

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160 Treezy F. Baby September 3, 2008 at 10:24 am

Ohhh…memories of Thursday night parties on “The Row.” Too bad, I wasn’t an alki back then and didn’t partake of the free libations. :(

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161 WestIndianArchie September 3, 2008 at 11:23 am

^^”I got that Good Hair” vertisement

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162 suga September 3, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Oh how I wish. When I said Creolian roots, i simply meant my heritage because for some reason, that curly hair gene skipped me completely over. It’s ok though. I’m happy to be nappy. Moms told me to put some water on my hair one time and I had to give her the SUPER sideye for that one. lol Tryna have me walkin around lookin like Frederick douglass with the part on the side

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163 southernabelle September 3, 2008 at 1:07 am

..wow so true Champ..I agree…I attended white schools in early yrs of school – then progressed to hmm, lets say nore urban insitutes of higher learning undergrad/grad…all the same.. there is a level of personal freedom that panks (pinks- thats what I call ‘em ) possess- seemingly having no apologizes for uncombed hair, wrinkeld clothes and gross sun burn ( was that mean ? ) they comin’ to the spot..ready to throw back some shots..

..I am gonna go on a psuedo historical limb here..I think we are still on a mental auction block.. how we physically looked- translated into how well we could work- and sire others with like traits….which has tumbled into our dating /mating chocies (strong backs, big hands,big a$$es, wide hips… are our favorites for som reason)…ref video chicks and the alien Buffy the Body…WTF !! ?

Those of us who buy new outfits to kick it at parties- lame…most of the time how that person is dressed is NOT even a honest reflection of who they are…I HATE pretense… DO YOU !!! fake a$$ people who hold up the wall and turn their noses up and folk having fun..makes mya$$ hurt…bc I am usually the one on the dance floor going hard with Lil Kim…wha’ wha’.. or Pimp C..hol’up…being looked at sidewayz…I hate them salad eatin bytches !

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164 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:23 am

the thing is, white people are allowed to be judged individually whereas we are always “a disgrace to the race” or “an asset to the race”….if we could truly just be a drunk n*gga effin up and not have to worry about harriet tubman turning over in her grave, i bet we would be much more relaxed in general….

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165 southernabelle September 3, 2008 at 1:32 am

we are dipped in a huge bucket of drama when we party…its an unfair stereotype

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166 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:39 am

“we are dipped in a huge bucket of drama when we party”

a bucket of drama is better than a bucket of…wait, i forgot we were trying to clean things up here. nevermind

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167 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:50 am

“bc I am usually the one on the dance floor going hard with Lil Kim…wha’ wha’.. or Pimp C..hol’up…being looked at sidewayz…”

You too? Aw man, we gotta get together. :)

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168 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:08 am

Everyone should experience at least ONE barcrawl with white folks. Imagine 200 people going from bar to bar. Often times, people get piggyback rides, you get free liquor bought for you AND you get high-fived AT LEAST 20 times throughout the nite. It’s AWESOME!

*Sigh* I miss college.

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169 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:11 am

“you get high-fived AT LEAST 20 times throughout the nite.”

Okay…that part is not fun. The high-fives and the thumbs ups and the “whooo hooos” must stop. Forever.

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170 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:12 am

why come this drunken white boy at the kanye concert kept turning around to high five me after every damn song?!? LMAO! i was ctfu…and i woohoo quite constantly as an homage to homer simpson.

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171 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:13 am

I’m sorry but a party w/ White folks ain’t complete without some drunken “Whooo hoo!!!!” It REALLY is necessary. It’s like a Black party without the DJ playing “Poison” and people almost busting their stuff when they do the dance where u touch ur foot to someone elses and turn around in a circle. It’s NEEDED!

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172 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:16 am

“It’s like a Black party without the DJ playing “Poison” and people almost busting their stuff when they do the dance where u touch ur foot to someone elses and turn around in a circle.”

LMAO cuz I’ve done this. In a pair of 3 1/2 inch heels. lol. Gotta love Kid-n-Play.

All the woo hoo’ing from random white dudes in Wrigleyville has just pushed me to my limit. lol. And none of my white friends woo hoo. They are usually too high to.

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173 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:48 am

I am from the Memphis TN so we dont play poison but we play “Trigga Man” and get that gangster walk crunk!!!

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174 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:49 am

“I’m sorry but a party w/ White folks ain’t complete without some drunken “Whooo hoo!!!!”

*St. Patrick’s Cathedral*

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175 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 1:04 pm

I liver you JBoogie

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176 Treezy F. Baby September 3, 2008 at 10:26 am

Yes…woooohoooo is like the universal term for “Look at me I’m white and drunk!”

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177 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 10:40 am

This is truth.
We sometimes do it to be funny when we’re out and about.
WHOOO!!!. ala Ricky Bobby.

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178 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 1:37 pm

girl, whatcha know bout Ricky Bobby? LOL…I friggin’ LUV that movie!

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179 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:52 pm

That is MY JUNK!!!! Went to the movies to see it by myself because none of my friends “got it”. Bought it the moment it came out on DVD. I watch it weekly…lol

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180 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:23 pm

“I wake up in the morning and I PISS EXCELLENCE!”

I love Will Ferrell

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181 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 1:02 pm

an explicative couldn’t sound any better like when I was a kid and on a roller coaster we could handle we would yell weeeeee. woooohoooo is like I’ve arrived @ wasted party world.

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182 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:11 am

muvva has LIVED!!! lol

ive never done a pub crawl, but ive seen it and by the end of the night folks were crawling to the next one!

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183 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:28 am

lol makes me think of this one game they play in england called circle line…

in london, one of the subway lines is circular, and you’re supposed to down a pint of beer at each stop (there are about 25) on each point….

gotta love the british, they wrote the book on getting f**ked up

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184 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:31 am

“gotta love the british, they wrote the book on getting f**ked up”

Naw man. The Irish wrote a TOME on getting f*cked up!

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185 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:38 am

with a preface by the russians….two of my closest friends: one irish and one russian. these chicks can DRANK!

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186 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:48 am

Yeah there is a drink called “the russian” so I believe you. You don’t need mo’ people.

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187 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I actually think it is just colder climated places. Cuz the Germans and most of those Balkanie Eastern European countries stay fuged up.

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188 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:25 pm

“I actually think it is just colder climated places. Cuz the Germans and most of those Balkanie Eastern European countries stay fuged up.”

Well that makes sense b/c Eastern European winters are colder than a witches’ tits and the folks there may need alcohol to keep their blood from freezing. Viva la LICKA!!!

189 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:12 pm

& if you notice in ye ole Usuh it’s the colder midwest erreeeuuuh that gets uber wasted. I love the lickuh!

190 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:47 am

one of my goals in life…going to london on vacay!

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191 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Take the train to Paris if you can. Wine everywhere.

I had a glass at lunch, 2 at dinner…every day. it was great.

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192 southernabelle September 3, 2008 at 1:14 am

“Often times, people get piggyback rides, you get free liquor bought for you AND you get high-fived AT LEAST 20 times throughout the nite. It’s AWESOME!”

…ok ! I miss that syht too..but I exp this in the workplace- I need some more pank frds..

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193 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:40 am

because of where i live, i hear the “woo-hoo” at least 30 times a week. i also hear “yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”, “duuuuuude”, and random bouts of crying just as much.

my neighborhood is entertaining

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194 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:11 pm

“my neighborhood is entertaining”

Champ, ur neighborhood sounds like College. Can I move there?

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195 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:26 pm

“Champ, ur neighborhood sounds like College. Can I move there”

sure. just email me your new burgh resident application, and i’ll try to get in a good word for you with the committee

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196 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:14 pm

champ your neighborhood sounds like a sociological experiment

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197 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:14 pm

“champ your neighborhood sounds like a sociological experiment”

it actually is though. theres an adjacent predominately black neighborhood (east liberty), thats being gentrified as we speak, so much so that they’ve even “officially” changed the name of a section of it to “eastside” (combining shadyside and east liberty), and its interesting to see these upscale restaurants and lounges opening up next to dana’s hair, mo gear, and east liberty kutz.

like i said before, my neighborhood is entertaining

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198 Knockout Ned September 3, 2008 at 6:03 pm

Champ, you’re making me miss the 412. I’m from Pittsburgh, now I live in Atlanta. I grew up in Squirrel Hill. When I go home, I kick it in Shadyside, or the Shadow Lounge in East Liberty. No lines to get in, just a good time. My crowd of friends back home are more diverse (asian, jewish, white, black) and at times more fun, than down here because I went to an HBCU, so now, all my friends are black. But I’ve been kickin it with some of my coworkers, who aren’t black, so I’m trying to get some diversity back.

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199 Vodka&Milk September 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm

LMAO, I completely forgot about the high-fives! Oh it brings back memories! haha.

-Sasha Two Pistols

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200 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:11 am

I clicked send to soon.. sorry but to pick up where I left off the more we move up the ladder we (black folks) become more concerned with proving the stereo types wrong and proving we have class and sophistication.. We become obsessed with appearances instead of actually having fun. I have friends that seriously will not go to the club with me because I have too much fun. I have a good time whenever, where ever and I dance with whoever wants to dance. We always leave having had totally different experiences. I also have learned that the more fun I am having the more likely ninja’s are to approach me, buy me drinks, try to teach me to break dance ( I actually had a dude do the centipede in the club once). White people on the other hand don’t have to always “represent”. They are not worried about appearances or a stereotype which allows them the freedom to do what they want. I mean white people can smoke, get DUI, use drugs and become president… blacks are not so lucky

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201 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:15 am

you are absolutely right, shayD…white folks are allowed an individuality that we are not afforded.

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202 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 8:02 am

shatani and Shayd agree:

“you are absolutely right, shayD…white folks are allowed an individuality that we are not afforded.”

says who?

naw, i feel where ur coming from but i guess i have no designs on becoming President of the U.S.A and i don’t wanna work for Diddy either so no such inhibitions and hang ups for me when out to party. i “represent” aight. …but for what i like and how i like it. and what i like is non judgemental fun and i like it uninhibited by the Draconian thought, dress and fun Police. dickhead jones and nem will not worry me and neither will corporate America. (not such that i become borish, overthiinking how i appear to others and spoliling my fun) tellem i said it.

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203 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:07 pm

i feel ya, GK….i like to make shatani happy in whatever i do, but i still find myself having a thought every now and then….

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204 southernabelle September 3, 2008 at 1:19 am

“I also have learned that the more fun I am having the more likely ninja’s are to approach me, buy me drinks, try to teach me to break dance ( I actually had a dude do the centipede in the club once)”

OMG ! you and I are club twins ! I was just break dancing this weekend…I have frd like that too- I leave the club hair sweated out..legs sore ..with no voice…bc I kicked it…Guys like FUN…they are attracted to women who are fun..not wild..they go- hey- she will be cool to hang with…she knows who she is ..most chicks that sit with stuck up stick in their a$$ is over looked

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205 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 1:56 am

OMG ! you and I are club twins ! I was just break dancing this weekend…I have frd like that too- I leave the club hair sweated out..legs sore ..with no voice…bc I kicked it…Guys like FUN…they are attracted to women who are fun..not wild..they go- hey- she will be cool to hang with…she knows who she is ..most chicks that sit with stuck up stick in their a$$ is over looked
EXACTLY
I am never the best dressed, or the best looking, have the best body etc. I get out there have a good time and people are attracted to that energy. I paid good money to get out and I will be dayumned if I stand against the wall all night sizing up other chicks. Another rule I have is that I only go to the club when I am in the mood, not because its hot tonight or everyone else is going..

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206 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:42 am

“you are absolutely right, shayD…white folks are allowed an individuality that we are not afforded.”

to piggyback on what the genius said, unless you’re running for president or something, nobody really cares about what we do when we’re partying excpet ourselves. we place those limits on our individuality.

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207 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 11:31 am

I agree and disagree. For the most part, we place those limits upon ourselves but we dont have the same luxury as whites in this arena. A group of white guys drunk a$$ hell bar hoppng, will get laughs and cheers… the group of drunk black men, will get arrested for disorderly conduct. However when it comes to worrying about appearances and being seen at the right club, at the right moment, in the right ‘fit, drinking the hot new drink…we place those limits upon ourselves.

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208 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:46 am

“A group of white guys drunk a$$ hell bar hoppng, will get laughs and cheers… the group of drunk black men, will get arrested for disorderly conduct.”

you know what though, i dont think so. the burgh is known as one of the most racist cities in the country, but, to be honest, the only cats i see get harassed by cops while clubbing/bar hopping are the cats who NEED to be harassed by cops.

and, from a pragmatic standpoint…violence is more likely to occur at a packed black nightclub than a packed white one, so i can’t blame cops for giving us a little more attention in that regard.

i hate admitting that, but its true

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209 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 1:25 pm

I hate to cosign this but I have to agree with the champ.

There is a club here that I frequent that is recognized as a “black”club, but they cater to all ethnicities in the music choices they play (world music on one night, house and drumming on another,neo soul, and even cape verdean music), they never have any problems, however a few blocks up at the other black club well they stay having issues and people like me avoid that spot like the plague.

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210 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:49 pm

On Clark in Wrigleyville street in Chicago there are two black clubs – reggae clubs, on on each side of the street – on a street full of bars. There has never been an incident at either of the reggae clubs in all the years (8 or so) that I’ve been going. Where do you think the police are at the end of the night? Where do you think they stop by to ‘check in’ during their patrols. The black clubs!

There is more ish going down at those white clubs – faux fights, missing white girls, etc. – but they never put up with the police harassments my second home, I mean the reggae club, has to.

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211 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Yeah, as a club manager at a club that does both Black and white events, I’d say that the level of f*ckery has been pretty consistent across the board. the white parties put just as many holes in our walls as the Black parties do.

and believe me, i count. once you throw liquor into any equation folks just act a damn fool. though i will say the white folks probably partied harder…and of course, i heard “ice ice baby”.

212 shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Yeah, as a club manager at a club that does both Black and white events, I’d say that the level of f*ckery has been pretty consistent across the board. the white parties put just as many holes in our walls as the Black parties do.
Exactly. The same foolishness but who bears the majority of the repercussions from police?

I dont know if its because I am in the south or what. I know that I have been on Beale Street and have been harassed for chilling with a friend and “laughing too loudly” while several falling down drunk white chicks have stumbled pass, “loudly laughing” with no problem. I know that when we are partying at the black club or black end (the existence of which only supports my argument) the police are highly concentrated in that area questioning and id’ing everyone even though there is way more or at least equal amounts of tomfoolery happening on the other end.

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213 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 1:31 am

Do you know the only positive roommate experience I have had in my life was when I had the white roomie. She did not give one single f#ck about much of anything, and all of her friends were so fun and carefree, I also loved I never had to dress up to go party… I hate black arties because I have to waste my good outfits for lames….

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214 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:36 am

the things i miss out on by going to a PWU…i had no idea that you had to pay to go to black frat parties or you had to do more than throw on some jeans and a t-shirt with something witty on it to go to a party…

i know my mother was APPALLED when she saw them folks going to class in pajama pants…and i completely internalized that comfort and casual way of life. my girl (who went to an HBCU) was talkin about how shes wearin this cute dress and these cute shoes to the first day of school…im like, wow. im pretty sure im gonna be wearing jeans and a t-shirt/hoodie the first day and all the way up until the last day!

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215 puff September 3, 2008 at 1:40 am

i feel you, i’ve definitely rolled up to a party in sweatpants at my PWU and nobody blinked an eyelid…

probably because all the motherfuggers in there were too busy colouring horses and sh*t in with crayons.

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216 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:43 am

now THATS a party! lmao! sweatpants and coloring books…woohoo!!

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217 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:00 am

probably because all the motherfuggers in there were too busy colouring horses and sh*t in with crayons.

or finger painting the homecoming banners LMAO

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218 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 1:45 am

I attended an HBCU and it really was a fashion show freshman and sophomore year, but even we got tired of it after a while and reverted to sweatpants and PJ’s…

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219 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:45 am

Basically…that cute shyt played out in like 2 weeks for me. First cold snap…eight am class…it was sweats/jeans galore, yanno?

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220 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:00 am

the things i miss out on by going to a PWU…i had no idea that you had to pay to go to black frat parties or you had to do more than throw on some jeans and a t-shirt with something witty on it to go to a party…

I can relate to this. People were always amazed when they would see me around town in the M. Like thats the chick that has been sportin them sweats and her do rag to class? LMAO

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221 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:41 am

hahaha…im mad you made discovery channel status, like mofos was tryin to study you in your natural habitat and ish!

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222 Slim Jackson September 3, 2008 at 9:56 am

I was just talking to someone about this. I went to PWI in upstate NY. You know. The type of place where certain people where khaki shorts and sandals when it’s 40 degrees outside. Granted I’m a dude, but I used to go to class in college athlete sweats, or whatever else was convenient. Chicks (black or white) did the same thing. A friend of mine just visited an HBCU in ATL and was shocked at the effort that women put into their appearance. As much as it’d be nice to see sistas all done up, I’d eventually get tired of it and say relax. That’s just me though.

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223 Dom September 3, 2008 at 11:09 am

I went to an HBCU in NC, and I never even considered wearing sweats to class. It just wasnt in me. My theory? It takes just as much time to look sloppy as it does to look put together. Jeans, shoes, and a shirt take the same amount of time as sweats, sneaks and a hoodie. One just looks more presentable.

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224 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:19 pm

i went to an hbcu in atlanta and i dressed down constantly. especially for my 8am class across the street. and it takes no time to be sloppy. as long as you brush your teef, all’s fair in love and biology.

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225 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

word! sloppy is so quick! if the clothes and body are clean and the teef are brushed, then its no problem! im just going there to learn…its just not that deep for me. im sure stacey and clinton will disagree though.

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226 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:22 pm

yeah my students at the PWI I work at come to class in their pajamas at times, I look at them like damn you really rolled out of bed didn’t you?

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227 Sister Toldja September 3, 2008 at 1:46 am

Ok, so you totally referenced my blog today and I totally refrenced YOUR blog today. How funny is that? Our blogs are friends, they do hoodrat stuff together on weekends, I bet I bet.

I agree with you sir. I do wish our people knew how to really have a good time with out the preteniousness that comes out Twith the bougies and the threat of violence that comes with some of the hoodlums. My friend theorizes that Tims are banned from so many clubs not because they aren’t “classy”, but because a scuff on a fresh pair of Tims can lead to death and/or bodily injury.

I’m not gonna lie, I am guilty of turning my nose up on a social function if there aren’t enough men (esp. cute or single ones) there. But for the most part, my girls and I can make most situations daggone fun without a bunch of la-dee-dah.

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228 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:45 am

“Our blogs are friends, they do hoodrat stuff together on weekends, I bet I bet.”

yeah…your blog is actually on our blogs “team”, and they do alot more than some hoodrat stuff together.

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229 Lady B September 3, 2008 at 9:20 am

i hope your blogs are wearing condoms…

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230 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:48 am

from what i understand, her blog likes it raw. hence the name, thebeautifulstruggle.

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231 Dallas Black September 3, 2008 at 1:50 am

This…is….true. Great blog and I am a new fan….no homo..ha

Dallas Black
thirtyhood.blogspot.com

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232 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 1:52 am

“Great blog and I am a new fan….no homo”

I REALLY loathe the phrase “no homo”. I wonder what would happen if someone said “slightly homo” or “was homo before but not now” after a comment like that. Would the hetero world implode??

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233 shatani September 3, 2008 at 1:57 am

awww! i love “no homo”! its just so ridiculous that i have become a fan…i like when my gay friends use it LOL

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234 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 2:02 am

I REALLY loathe the phrase “no homo”. I wonder what would happen if someone said “slightly homo” or “was homo before but not now” after a comment like that. Would the hetero world implode??

yeah where did that shyt come from? I blame Donnie McClurkin…..

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235 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 2:05 am

Ol’ Donnie need to stop playing these bad-headed *ss games!! He KNO he a LIE and the truth ain’t in him. Turning these four walls into a house of lies.

Oh, and we musn’t forget to blame Jim Jones. Ol’ scruffy-beard, lice-having, VeeDee-infested Mr. Jones.

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236 devessel September 3, 2008 at 3:22 am

hey! de-lurking again to provide the etymological origins of ‘no-homo’ from the master, jsmooth:

http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/08/a_beginners_guide_to_no_homo.html

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237 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:49 am

“yeah where did that shyt come from? I blame Donnie McClurkin…..”

this is one that you can actually blame on cats from harlem (read: “jim jones”), one of my teammate in college was from there, and he’s the first person i knew who prefaced basically every sentence with “no homo”, and this was back in 1998.

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238 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 11:34 am

this is one that you can actually blame on cats from harlem (read: “jim jones”), one of my teammate in college was from there, and he’s the first person i knew who prefaced basically every sentence with “no homo”, and this was back in 1998.

LOL I dont give a Dayum… I am blaming Donnie…he is the first one that said “no homo” and meant no more homosexual behavior for me…yay!

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239 Lady B September 3, 2008 at 9:22 am

aww! i LOVE no homo! we use it in place of “um” as in – “no homo – you know how to get to Buddha from here?” and “no homo – get the vodka and cards so we can kick off this low budget ass carport party”

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240 Sister Toldja September 3, 2008 at 11:04 am

Utterance of the phrase ” no homo” is red flag number one that your private times and the whole nine include a little “what what in the butt”.

No homo= so homo

You ain’t gotta like to kick it, sweet thing.

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241 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:20 pm

yes! inappropriate usage of no homo is like one of my favorite passtimes!

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242 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Luvvie I love you, I to abhor that No HOMO crap, its like your confirming that you are homophobic.

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243 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:28 pm

“I to abhor that No HOMO crap, its like your confirming that you are homophobic.”

Or… you are overcompensating for your homo ways (not that there’s anything wrong w/ that). hehe

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244 Dallas Black September 4, 2008 at 3:53 am

Wow, I was merely repeating the line from Lil Wayne…thas it. I am not a fan of it either but the song came on and I had to repeat it just for kicks.

A little harmless fun. I have a d*ck and don’t play with others.

I do think many of our sisters are PARANOID when it comes to this gay crap and they add it to a list of reasons to push back on brothas…I am tired of carrying an ax to talk to sistas…fuck the brick wall…..tear it down. But thas another story.

My flight is boarding…carry on.

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245 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 2:04 am

I didn’t read the comments before mine! How in the Ashanti-Singing-Live do you have all these comments and it’s not real-morning (after 10 east coast)?

Lemme tell you something! You find you some nice white folks you can trust, and let the good times begin. But I must issue one warning…

Never mind listening to music with nga peppered throughout. They won’t dare say it.

Never mind thinking the dudes are gonna get drunk and rape you if you’re a woman.

Never mind thinking the women are gonna get drunk, have chex with you, then accuse you of rape if you’re a man.

All those things aren’t gonna happen. I beg of you all, when you party with your trusted white friends…the thing you should fear most…The thing you should not do…Do NOT…

DO.

NOT.

This goes for you master of the TPS reports–boy pay attention!

Do not try to out drink your white friends. You will wake up with a Jägermeister label stuck to your forehead!!!! Cus they go HARD!!!!!!!!!

End PSA 1892!

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246 puff September 3, 2008 at 2:08 am

“Do not try to out drink your white friends. You will wake up with a Jägermeister label stuck to your forehead!!!! Cus they go HARD!!!!!!!!!”

this is true – i have outdrunk black football players, but am yet to go toe to toe with my white dudes and end up soberer. my drunk A$$ always ends up stumbling to the bathroom every 5 minutes while they happily keep playing beer pong and make every shot.

(p.s. my inability to ever play beer pong successfully is of great shame to me… but is probably indelible proof of my africanness – mama said never play with your food, same applies for your drank)

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247 d-weezy September 3, 2008 at 8:25 am

LOL
You need to step up your Beer Pong game. Once you master that game, white folks will think you’re magical and not just because of your hair.

One time I was at a bar with my white coworkers and a Beer Pong game broke out (Yes it broke out, just like a fight would at a black club). At first I didn’t play, but someone left and they begged me to play. So in true Billy Hoyle from “White Men Can’t Jump” fashion, they told me how to play and I whipped all their asses. After that, free drinks for the rest of the night. I was feeling like the Eddie Kane of alcohol after that evening.

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248 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:09 am

Are you tryna get Panama to plan a beer pong tourny at his VSB happy hour?? Cus that’s what it sounds like to me.

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249 d-weezy September 3, 2008 at 10:24 am

Might as well.
I don’t party like a rock star, I party like a white person.

*Dances off beat and does the shopping cart with a quick transition to the water sprinkler*

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250 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:52 am

get em weezy *doing the start the lawnmower n followed up by the weedwacker behind you*

oh we should add a game of bags (bean bag toss) I think hill billy golf can be dangerous as can horseshoes.

from the cat you can’t taken any where but want to take everywhere.

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251 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:21 pm

i played beer pong in grad school.

that’s not gonna happen at the happy hour. i fear we’d get tossed.

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252 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 2:09 am

“Never mind listening to music with nga peppered throughout. They won’t dare say it.”

oooo….my white friend, who has been in my house, slept on my couch (!) dropped ni99a at least 6 times in the drunken retelling of a South Park episode. When she started telling the story, I just knew she knew she knew better and would not to use the actual word (she told the story to 3 black folk, 2 Mexicans and a Puerto Rican). She did not know better. Had to have a talk with her, when she was sober, about that ish.

Also, I poked around on her blog and noted that in one entry she commented on how uncomfortable she was at an all black event I took her to. Hooker!!! I go to all grimy, all white spots with you all the time!!! Lol.

Nevertheless, we are still cool. I only take her to places where I know there will at least be 2 other white folks, though.

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253 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:06 am

You’re kidding. How old is this chick? Is she over 30? I’ve never had the ‘I can say NGA cus y’all say it’ conversation with any white person I know over 30.

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254 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:09 pm

Yeah. She was over 30. I just knew that anyone I’d fed and let sleep on my couch would not drop that word.

We had a nice heart felt talk. Well I talked. She listened.

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255 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:42 am

LOL…I haven’t called anybody a hooker in years!

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256 V Renee September 3, 2008 at 1:14 pm

My sister calls me this daily :(

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257 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 11:26 am

N-bomb story

Midnight shift w/ two white guys. you tubing to pass the time. One of the guys pulls up a southpark episode. The one where stan’s dad was on wheel of foutune and the clue was these people anoy you and the board looked like n_ggers. Well we watch it to the end. They giggling n looking @ me. I stone faced em said, ‘you need some sensitivity training chad’ and stormed out of the room. I wasn’t two rooms away b4 I doubled over in side splitting laughter. Steve said chad turned pastier than he already is and immediatly went to monster.com. But they chased after me after a few minutes and found me on the floor w/ bradipnea and they joined in w/ the laughter.

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258 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 11:35 am

you aint right for that!

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259 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 11:47 am

Shoot chad needed to lighen up even further. he had anger issues & it certainly made the night shift go by faster

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260 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:08 pm

This is the story the chick was retelling!

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261 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 1:16 pm

who was telling this story? on here? today? I just wrote this story today

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262 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:32 pm

My bad…this is the South Park episode my friend friend was telling where she dropped the N* bomb. See previous post.

Sorry for confusion. :)

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263 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Once at school, me and some friends were watching a commercial where this black boy drinks some sunny d before his big game. The only 2520 in the room looks at us and says, “This commercial is a lie! We all know he’d be drinking a 40, right?!?!”

One 2520 laughed. 5 Black people didn’t.

When my girl got finished with him…man. I think it took months before he got any kind of bass back in his voice.

264 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 3:39 pm

@8th wonder, this is was funny.

“One 2520 laughed. 5 Black people didn’t.”

I imagined hearing crickets then your girl tore into him like MC LYTE on the Self Destruction cut.

LMAO!

265 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 4:03 pm

that is exactly what happened. It was just a stunned silence, then my girl said, “Really? You really gonna say that to us? If we were in Jersey, you’d be in a trunk right now.”

He blinked.

It was unfortunate for that young scamp, it really was.

266 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:44 am

“Do not try to out drink your white friends. You will wake up with a Jägermeister label stuck to your forehead!!!! ”

They do like the Jager…I don’t know how, that ish is nasty as fcuk.

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267 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:08 am

I’m not really clear on why they like that crap either…But I will say, the parties I have gone to have always had all the free top-shelf likka you could want…Oh and with the under 30 set, there’s always a ‘fuggin keg’.

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268 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 9:24 am

I went to a party once where they had a Jager cooler.
I had never seen anything like that, it fit 3 bottles of Jager on top and dispensed it at like 31 degrees.
They were all over that like a cheap suit. lol

They do believe in the top shelf…that’s fo’ sure.

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269 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:41 am

Ick@ the Jager. I couldn’t even do it.

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270 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:31 pm

“They do like the Jager…I don’t know how, that ish is nasty as fcuk.”

I took a shot of Jager once, during he aforementioned barcrawl and I felt like my throat was corroding. EEEWWWW

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271 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:45 pm

It probably was…lol

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272 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm

i have an urge to vomit just thinkin about the one and only time i had jager! *hurl* and my boy had the nerve to give it to me while we were dancin too…you cant knock that back and then shake it up?!?!?! i was standing still on the dancefloor for like 10 minutes trying to calm the inner turmoil! lmao….jager is the devil

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273 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:51 am

“Do not try to out drink your white friends. You will wake up with a Jägermeister label stuck to your forehead!!!! Cus they go HARD!!!!!!!!!”

sh*t, a jagermeister label is getting off easy. i’ve seen a pic with two drunk cats tied to each other in the 69 position. white cats have the homoerotic pranking game on lock

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274 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:19 am

Like I said, they go hard. You can’t win. I don’t even try. I just sip my wine.

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275 SoulMariposa September 3, 2008 at 10:54 am

okay… i can’t. the “homoerotic pranking grame”?

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276 Dom September 3, 2008 at 11:16 am

Have you seen Jackass, either the show or the movie? That explains everything.

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277 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 11:39 am

It explains plenty…lol

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278 SoulMariposa September 3, 2008 at 12:49 pm

until now i’ve had no reason to watch jackass. right on.

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279 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:12 pm

Yeah. I’ve seen photographic evidence of a white party where one dude passed out drunk and two others put their bare nuts on his forehead.

Not cool. Not cool at all.

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280 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

“white cats have the homoerotic pranking game on lock”

they go hard in the paint on that ish….they spend their entire day planning what kind cockery theyre gonna get into when the first one passes out drunk…lemme tell ya, seein folks come to class on a monday morning with a penis drawn on the side of their face in sharpie is whats REALLY hot in the streets! lol

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281 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 9:45 am

See you bout to get people f*cked up.

“Never mind listening to music with nga peppered throughout. They won’t dare say it.

Never mind thinking the dudes are gonna get drunk and rape you if you’re a woman.

Never mind thinking the women are gonna get drunk, have chex with you, then accuse you of rape if you’re a man. “

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282 kamakula September 3, 2008 at 11:19 am

Hmm.

I have a pretty high tolerance. I think it’s because I stayed out of the drinking game till I was done with undergrad. At the moment, I only know two dudes who can keep up or out drink me.

One would drink down a bottle of jack during the weekly Saturday partying. Though based on saturday night, perhaps I could give him a run for his money…

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283 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:33 pm

“real-morning (after 10 east coast)”

thank you for qualifying that. love it!

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284 Liz September 3, 2008 at 2:25 am

Do VSB Fans ever sleep? Because it is nearing up on midnight PST and ya’ll are posted UP on this here blog.

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285 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 2:27 am

Liz, VSB ain’t no game. It’s LIFE!

hehehe. I’m an unemployed (pray for me that this economy lets up and I find something soon) night owl. What’s everyone else’s excuse?

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286 Liz September 3, 2008 at 2:39 am

LOL. It’s all good. I am about to be unemployed after this week, so my night owl game will probably kick into overdrive. I will pray you get a new job soon!

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287 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:46 am

awww…good luck, luvster!

um…my excuse? i just rolled in here around 1am after doin laundry at my friend’s place and lookie-look, a new post! lol

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288 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 3:14 am

I will pray that you find a job.. where are you located? We are hiring at my joint…..
I am up all night because 1. I work nights and 2 I take online classes and this is normally the time of night I am working on my novel for my MFA but ur ahhhhhh…..I have been kind of distracted

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289 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:53 am

“VSB ain’t no game. It’s LIFE!”

definitely going in the next round of t-shirt polls

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290 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:32 pm

Thanks yall!! Them prayers will be GREATLY appreciated.

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291 shatani September 3, 2008 at 2:45 am

vsb is whats hot on the boulevard!

(i forget who said that, but i laughed a good two days over that one!)

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292 Shay-d-lady September 3, 2008 at 3:10 am

LOL I know I said that a light skinned chick I use to work with said that she was “a commodity on these streets’ LMAO….

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293 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:58 pm

“vsb is whats hot on the boulevard!”

in total agreement, love the hot on the boulevard term

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294 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Glad my boulevard statement is catching on! I heard the phrase is what’s hot in the cul-de-sac as well!

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295 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 3:23 am

In-freaking-somnia!!!!!!! Now it’s too late to take a sleeping pill.

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296 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 5:09 am

I am a serious insomniac so in between working on side projects in the wee hours, I visit VSB.

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297 Cheryl September 3, 2008 at 6:38 am

being white, i like to think that im a bit of an expert on being white, but im most likely wrong. being that its 632am on wednesday morning and i have been awake since 6am tuesday morning … and i have to be to work in 2 hours … i was up all night partying with black folks. someone forgot to tell me im old. yeah i dont see me making it to 5pm. as long as im awake by 7pm thursday im GOOD!

Champ, come party with me. ill show you a good time – no innuendo-o.

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298 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:54 am

“Champ, come party with me. ill show you a good time – no innuendo-o.”

:)

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299 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm

champ likes innuendo

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300 Cheryl September 3, 2008 at 4:14 pm

oh, you don’t have to tell me. i most certainly know.

that no innuendo-o was for y’all.

btw – i made it to work at 130pm.

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301 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 4:25 pm

Cheryl we all family here no need to lead us down a path to no where.

Its all good

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302 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:21 am

Dammit!

“Come party with me. I’ll show you a good time.”

Not THAT’S a t-shirt. Particularly a BABY-T!!!

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303 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:16 pm

I KNO Hostess!! Them VSB tees don’t come in Baby-Ts and my tiny *$$ can’t fit in em.

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304 PBG September 3, 2008 at 7:16 am

Black folks like us ( negroidious americanus) would LOVE to have fun like your footloose and fancy-free neighbors, Champ. But alas, we can’t. As soon as we even think about something like that, it will be seen as typical “Colored Shenanigans”. And guess what? That judgment isn’t made by white folks! For the most part, they aren’t even paying us ANY ATTENTION!! They’re too busy having fun. It’s our own people who won’t give us a break. We can’t be seen doing anything like that because we simply are not that free in America. We’ve been taught our lives to not let white folks see us cuttin’ a fool because they are just “lookin’ for somethin’ to say ’bout us”. In reality, white folks really don’t care about us, that is…until we become a problem for them (moving into their neighborhoods and trying to send our kids to school with their kids).

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305 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:55 am

***the prevailing word world outreach center***

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306 Sister Toldja September 3, 2008 at 11:08 am

“In reality, white folks really don’t care about us, that is…until we become a problem for them (moving into their neighborhoods and trying to send our kids to school with their kids).”

Or when they are moving in to OUR neighborhoods, deciding they don’t like how we get down and calling the cops whenever we sneeze audibly.

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307 PrettyBrownGirl September 3, 2008 at 11:20 am

Hey ST, I started to comeback and qualify that after my morning commute where I saw a terribly uncomfortable-looking white girl on my bus that rides through Edgewood (NE DC). She didn’t look like she had been around our parts long. But I figured you would slide through this blog and say it a lot better than I ever could. But you know you get major cosign-age from me on THAT issue.

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308 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 11:28 am

“It’s our own people who won’t give us a break.”

I would like to add to that that in our “own” ethnic circles (and I can only speak to my Latino/a people.) We get it twice as bad if we can pass for straight up Americans, don’t have an accent, wear our ethnicity on our lapels and ish like that. I know when I was working in corporate America my peeps gave me a hard way to go because I dressed and acted the part.

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309 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:18 pm

“We get it twice as bad if we can pass for straight up Americans, don’t have an accent, wear our ethnicity on our lapels and ish like that.”

LOL I love me some Puerto Ricans, but wearing JERSEYS of their flags cracks me up. I’m like “I understand you got pride, but your ENTIRE wardrobe ain’t gotta be your flag.”

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310 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:31 pm

“I’m like “I understand you got pride, but your ENTIRE wardrobe ain’t gotta be your flag.””

yeah…its like every day is the olympics and sh*t

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311 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

LMAO! dont hate on their opening ceremony…

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312 shatani September 4, 2008 at 8:45 pm

i saw a dude on the street in a full puerto rican flag basketball-type jersey when i was driving to school this morning…i laughed SO hard! vsb parallels life like whoa!

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313 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 7:22 am

Dam* do u negroes ever go to sleep. …frickin hybrid Vampires.

o.k. let’s get it in…

ur on point Champ. why just this weekend, i’m greeting at the door of this party and as per usual niggaz standing and sitting around when i go inside to refresh my beverage (i guess waiting on the slide) looking smarmy. i on the other hand grabbed someone up or i think it was the other way around (who cares) and danced. people standing around looking like deer in the headlights. eventually niccaz got up and did their thing, a lil bit. i sware niccaz be looking scared in the club. i’m laughing at them, doing me and entertaining the hell out of myself and being entertained by a few others.

yep! 2520′s know how to let it go and party. black folk in my observation act a lil uptight. it’s like some unwritten rule where u can’t appear to be having much fun. you can’t talk to but one interest per night or ur “all up in everybodys face.” dam spill a lil liquor trick, get ur gurp on, have a good time and ahh take that stick out of ur ass. there were a very few, genuinely having a good time and kicking it. …rest ofem were horrified.

back in the day niccaz worried even more about what they wear to a club. white folks on the other hand, jeans and t-shirts, shorts or whatever and have a good time. black clubs got dress codes and in some instances i understand. i almost hate to go out now cause niccaz be like, u got on the wrong kind of shoes. o.k. they not sneaks but they don’t have a heel. nicca what? when i go out with friends it’s a standard bet that i am going to get called on something. shoes, collars, wrong colors, wrong nigga is what it really is. i catch mad flack at the door. they start checking for me as soon as i splash, the bouncer, the policeman/security, the owner, the henchmen, the haters etc. even when i get in they checking to make sure i buy my requisite two drink minimium just basically being profiled. now i got diplomatic immunities at a coupla 2 tree spots but even there the male underlings wanna employ embargos and undermine me every chance they get.

shout to yt nem. they do know how to party and although a few can get a lil to “sh*t face” and obnoxious, they kicks it hard. very lil pretension, no dress codes usually, no prejudging about who or how many u talk to. will dance even if it’s goofy. will buy a round even for strangers. invite u to the private set. just don’t get to cool and start saying nigga vanilla ice, that’s reserved for the family. i mean i can kick my brothers azz but im not gonna stand by and watch u kick it. family. don’t get sh*t pretzeled pink toe. …and don’t try to be fake cool wit ur hood lingo yt. (its usually just 1 or 2 overzealous, overdrunk azzholes that need to get checked) otherwise a 2520 party is off the planet.

some other black cultures by and large know how to really let go but for the most part American black club experience can get really persnickety. everybody wants to show out, pull rank, flaunt their day job, flaunt their car, wanna act like they are at some high society fuction where etiquette is the 1st order or posing for cat fancy magazine. fun azzholes fun and u nicraz are not funning me right now. say bye.

early.

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314 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:40 am

“will buy a round even for strangers
and don’t try to be fake cool wit ur hood lingo yt. (its usually just 1 or 2 overzealous, overdrunk azzholes that need to get checked) ”

This is true.
I agree, don’t start trying prove how “down” you are. This ish irks me to no end.

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315 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:23 am

Hybrid Vampires United!

As a tired member of HVU, I’d like to say sleep is for suckers!!!

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316 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:39 am

“shout to yt nem. they do know how to party and although a few can get a lil to “sh*t face” and obnoxious, they kicks it hard. very lil pretension, no dress codes usually, no prejudging about who or how many u talk to. will dance even if it’s goofy. will buy a round even for strangers. invite u to the private set.”

yup, it’s like you’re their new best friend and whatnot. shyddd…you can always be assured that they’ll take of you…and they ain’t trying to hear no objections!

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317 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

that is soooo true! it never fails, whenever i go to a predominantly white party theres always at least mofo that becomes my biggest fan/bestest best friend. i find it so hilarious! i just grab a drank and play along…gotta love that sangria!

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318 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Well, while I agree with everyone here on the YT’s just having more fun without all of the pretension and bull, I always feel kind of like an exhibit at 2520 shindigs. Eventually there’s always that one girl that comes to me, and wistfully says something along the lines of, “Your culture/skin tone/attitude is so amazing, I wish I had that too”

to which I am duty-bound to reply, “Yes sweetie, I know.”

meh.

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319 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

lmao, thats my response almost word-for-word….sometimes they’ll be drunk and slurring, “i love you!” and im like, as well you should.

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320 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 10:57 pm

The last time that happened, the girl actually tried to caress my skin whilst complimenting me.

8th almost had to slap a bitch.

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321 shatani September 4, 2008 at 8:47 pm

LMAO! it would take a particularly bold 2520 (lookit me using the lingo!) to actually try to touch me…i give off a strong aura of “back the f*ck up off me”

i dont even have a reaction lined up for something like that happening…if i go on pure reflex, i may end up in jail! lmao

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322 V Renee September 3, 2008 at 7:44 am

One thing that I would like to mention is that it’s somewhat easier for white people to get loose in public……because the police do not bother them.

I went to Ohio State (Buckeyes stand up!!) and was there when the infamous riots occured after a game. It was amazing to me how bold the white people were. They were setting couches on fire, drinking in the street, girls were on rooftops showing their ta-tas. When the police FINALLY showed up in riot gear, they had the audacity to run AT the police while throwing bottles. Even when the police started tear gassing the streets and shooting rubber/wooden bullets, they didn’t stop. Black people on the otherhand ran AWAY from the police; until they realized that they weren’t shooting real bullets (and they would have been real bullets if it weren’t for all of the white people). At that time, they continued to watch the festivites, because they knew it would never be a time they could partake in anything like this again, without being taken to jail (or shot) and having the book thrown at them.

Basically the police can hamper black peoples ability to stand in parking lots and have a good time. A group of 3 or more black people make them nervous.

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323 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:57 am

“When the police FINALLY showed up in riot gear, they had the audacity to run AT the police while throwing bottles.”

LOL. this made me laugh for a full seven seconds

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324 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 4:04 pm

“When the police FINALLY showed up in riot gear, they had the audacity to run AT the police while throwing bottles.”

This blows my mind. I’ve lived in two cities (N.O. and Chi) where the police shoot you dead while holding a baby, while handcuffed on the ground, while reaching for your cell…no questions asked.

Who runs AT the police????

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325 V Renee September 3, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Who are you telling? It blew me AWAY. I’ve probably never ran so hard in my life.

Oh and get this, one chick sued the police because a rubber bullet caught her in the eye. The next day, YT’s were on the news, showing their wounds from the rubber bullets. The mofo’s had the nerve to be indignant about being hit. **smh**

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326 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 4:32 pm

yeah one girl died after the Red Sox won the world series from injuries from the rubber bullets or the gas I cant remember which and her family sued too

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327 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 4:48 pm

Who runs AT the police????

YT’s and revolutionaries.

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328 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 4:52 pm

“YT’s and revolutionaries.”

Revolutionaries carry a lil bit mo than liquid courage into battle.

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329 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 11:55 am

Same thing(s) happened at the University of Maryland.

Tear gas ain’t got shit on a rowdy frat boy.

We used to sit on the sidelines and watch in AMAZEMENT.

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330 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:23 pm

I went to the Univeristy of Illinois (GO ILLINI!!!) and when our basketball team lost to North Carolina a couple of years ago, the White folks were PISSED. They started a riot on Green Street, sat on the Alma Mater statue till 11pm and had the small college town version of Mardi Gras. Police just watched. Shit, I’m sure they threw a couple of bottles themselves.

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331 Chaser September 3, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Gotta co-sign on your point V Renee. Sh*t, my black coworkers and I don’t gather too long togehter at work (eating lunch together is out) for fear that someone will call the police to report a meeting of the New Orleans Chapter of the Secret Council of the American Negro… and our plans to overthrow YT and take over the world.
I mean, that is what we’re talking about most times, but there’s reason to get the police involved.

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332 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:43 pm

oh snap! im tryin to join the SCAN!

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333 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 3:14 pm

ok so when the Red Sox won the world series the first time in this millennium, prior to the world series game they had to go through the Yankees.

i recall having to be on campus during those games because our students were rioting after each game, (student ratio 49% in state, 20% from new york/new jersey). Then when they won the World Series, people down at Fenway and in the Boston area lost their ever loving mind. Rioting and ish Police were loosing it.

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334 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 3:23 pm

Blacks riot over injustice, 2520′s riot over sports.

Go fig.

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335 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:41 pm

LMAO!!!

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336 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I was going to add that and forgot. LOL!

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337 V Renee September 3, 2008 at 4:27 pm

SO TRUE!!!!

And it’s funny that you mentioned that, because that same year, Cincinnati (my hometown) had their own riot. The police had shot yet another Black man who didn’t have a weapon.

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338 As Is September 3, 2008 at 8:17 am

I’m really digging this one. I do admire how white folks get down! At the bar/club, my dudes (brothas) will be in the corner, holding their beer, just kinda looking around. The chicks (sistahs) will have their “bag a man” fits on, doing very little dancing. But then, a group of white people will fall in, dancing, not giving a damn if they’re on beat, not caring what name brand they’re rocking! And they’ll have a smile on their face the entire time! Having the time of their life! Drunk or not! They’ll go ride the bull, dance on the pole, and not care! In a way, I wish I could just let go and have fun and not give a damn that I look like a fool on the dance floor…Good one!

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339 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 9:04 am

“In a way, I wish I could just let go and have fun and not give a damn that I look like a fool on the dance floor…Good one!”

you need to go find the nearest pole or bull and ride the sh*t out of it. i’m sure you’ll feel much better

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340 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:36 am

Ah mayne, the mechanical bull…good times!

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341 Dope Fiend September 3, 2008 at 8:17 am

LOL at this post Champ.

“please try to remember that even though the champ is a virulent racist, sexist, homophobe, and jingoist he’s fair.”

lol.

“here is a list of things a typical “white person” needs in place in order to have fun when partying

—oxygen (and this is negotiable)”

Too right! Last weekend me and my two girls went to a spot up in Oxford Street, its usually good on a friday but we decided we’d pop in on a Saturday only to see the places filled with Senior Citizens and not just ANY SC’s they were white.

That enough should have been reason for us to leave…but our upbringing in posh white London schools and universities had desentisized and prepared us for such encounters with possible BNP members.

So as we sat and drank our cheap drinks we watched as some younger white people took to the dance floor and proceeded to SHACK OUT (Im talking serious arms flailing, foot shuffle, hopping on one foot, tounge hanging out, knee gyrating SHACK OUT!) They were having some MAD FUN to a LIVE BAND playing off key jazz with an even worse off key singer!

O we stayed to watch the festivities! It was PURE entertainment I wouldnt have spent that saturday any other way!

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342 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 9:02 am

i love brits. you need to recruit more fellow brits to leave comments, just so i can learn new slang like “shack out”

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343 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:26 am

“SHACK OUT”

Is this like ‘rock out with my c*ck out’? I’ve never heard this one before.

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344 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:31 am

Brits and Aussies absolutely RAWK! They’re tops on my list of fun peeps for sure.

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345 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 8:36 am

I’m so happy you shouted out South Padre Island oh yeah and umm Justin Slayer…ctfu!!

White peeps party completely different from us. They don’t care, and their parties don’t normally end because it got shot up or the cops got called. The last one I went to, I left early at midnight, and that was only because I thought an orgee was bout to pop off, it was way too much touching and rubbing plus about 400 jello shots between 20 peeps or so…You get the idea.

I don’t like stuffy azz parties. This is really why I don’t go to the club too much anymore. Everyone standing around posing and posturing. No one wants to dance because they don’t wanna sweat out they hair or get their outfit dirty. Shoot If I wanted to be bored just standing around, I could’ve kept my arse at the house.
Also, when they go out, they don’t spend all night tryna get ready. They thrown on a tank top, some jeans, their best flip flops and out the door they go…lol

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346 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 9:00 am

“The last one I went to, I left early at midnight, and that was only because I thought an orgee was bout to pop off, it was way too much touching and rubbing plus about 400 jello shots between 20 peeps or so…You get the idea.”

and, ummmm, again, why did you leave? was there a fire or something else?? i’m not understanding this

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347 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 9:11 am

Because I don’t do pink meat. Have you forgotten? LOL
Plus my homegirl was so drunk that she was in a vulnerable position, so being a good friend, I suggested we leave.

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348 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:50 am

you still could have taken pics. why the hell are we paying you to be a vsb.com correspondent if you’re not taking pics?

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349 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 11:51 am

Paying? I have not recieved one red cent…lmao.

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350 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:30 am

I mean, that’s pretty much it. And when you’re out, no matter HOW old they are, if they’re not ready to go home, you ain’t going home. You’ll be up all night with them…and loving every minute of it!

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351 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 11:51 am

Yeah, don’t try leaving early…they just ordered another round of shots…lol

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352 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 8:50 am

Aight this is rediculous yall done posted how much and it ain’t even some 8:00am est. All I got to say is I blame it on their carefreeness. They are truely not afraid to die or anything else. circa when animals attack evil kanevil and extreme exposure. Rick Ross’ push it to the limit is preschool to them. Alcoholic much? Cold War Kids much?

What did you do about your sneaker Champ?

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353 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 8:59 am

“What did you do about your sneaker Champ?”

i’m a n*gga…which means that i had another pair, lol

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354 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 9:47 am

Way to go Champ lol !) **clap clap** bychis come over here n show the Champ your tiddies.

I think this may be something that may not be totally attributed to race Champ. Happy people just have a low threshold for what makes them happy. I read that in an msn article once. And I think the world needs a lil faux pool parking lot party. I just wonder where the lines could or would be drawn? I mean there are cultural contructs that just don’t get crossed. Lines that don’t get stepped. I mean 4 real you celebrate the wrong group of people and bang who you are and proclaim to be gets questioned. (people judging people) When are we going to learn what it is completely before we judge it. Or are we completely transformed by the experience forever. Personally enjoying someone elses culture is something I look to do. But I am a line drawer. There are some religious and ceksual boundaries I will never even aproach.

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355 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 9:51 am

” There are some religious and ceksual boundaries I will never even aproach”

Mazal tov…please elaborate.

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356 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:09 am

I will forever pass the pinky test. N they can strictly be in platonic friend n coligue zone. But don’t expect me to join their rainbow parade.

N if I get invited to a church and when I walk in there is an upside down crusafix or people aren’t lifted up. I’m giving the about face and like Curtis Mayfield (keep on pushin). I got respect but it gets no love.

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357 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 10:17 am

“I will forever pass the pinky test. N they can strictly be in platonic friend n coligue zone. But don’t expect me to join their rainbow parade.:

Awe WU!!!! Nobody THROWS down like drag queens.

Now thats a party, fyck what ya heard son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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358 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:29 am

I gues I have to work on my fah q eat some cake muscle. I still have a want to belong muscle that probably cares what those judgemental types have to say on occasion. I’m more on some lets go to the bush n eat shrooms look @ out former selves n follow out spirit guide. N mind you all this cross cultural celebration can be called off per person’s request because they just don’t get down like that. Me I happen to know that rock n roll is the off the wall child of the blues. **cue party like a rock star**

359 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 3:34 pm

“Awe WU!!!! Nobody THROWS down like drag queens. Now thats a party, fyck what ya heard son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Comeback, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY concur!! Them some fabulous b*tches!

360 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:52 pm

say word!!! cant nobody party like a fabulous queen! and dont find yourself at the gay club on pride night…oh SNAP! they dont play….i love it!

361 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:52 am

“Happy people just have a low threshold for what makes them happy. I read that in an msn article once”

this is true. it’s easy to make happy people happy

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362 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:54 pm

and its easy to amuse the easily amused

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363 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 8:58 am

I know about this from my time in Tennessee. I had more fun with less getting drunk with the cats I knew from work than my boys. They were ready to get drunk anytime, anywhere and they always found a way to include multiple like minded women. I used to consistently be at the bar till it closed getting wasted and then showing up at the office fresh as a daisy 7:30 in the morning and doin it all over again after work. ahhh the good ol days. I cant count teh number of times I was stumbling around on Beale gettign free drinks handed to me from nowhere and being called a pu$$y cause I wont inhale that 20th beer. Also with these guys…money was never a concern. These guys worked with me so they were not rich by no means. Non of them were trust fund babies but they made sure that you were just as twisted as they were if you were broke or not. I miss those douchebags.

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364 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 9:06 am

“Also with these guys…money was never a concern. These guys worked with me so they were not rich by no means. Non of them were trust fund babies but they made sure that you were just as twisted as they were if you were broke or not”

great point. i wanted to touch on this a bit in the entry, but i edited out because i thought it was already too long.

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365 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 9:23 am

it had to be mentioned. My main gripe with hanging out at home is we can never have as much fun as we wanna because of financial limitations. either its cats that are always broke or people that are overly cheap or a mix of both. I dont want to be worried about who paid for what or this one cat cant roll cause he spent all his money on shoes.

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366 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 9:58 am

Yeah this is like the great mystery that is keeping our races apart. Where do white people be getting that money from? Like I’m not a cheap dude, but I know after rent, bills, savings…etc I can’t buy the bar every weekend. These dudes I work with (make the same amount as me) don’t seem to have any problems. Park in the company garage everyday no problem ($25), Buy everyone a round of car bombs every day after work no problem ($63), wanna go to cosi for lunch everyday no problem ($12), rent a house on the shore every weekend no problem ($200). Seriously where do y’all get this money from?

Of course there response is “i dunno i mean we just use our paychecks”

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367 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 10:44 am

they just dont worry about it like we do cause they know another paycheck is coming

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368 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 11:49 am

Not only that, but I think they spend money on different things than we do. For instance, my boss is making well over six figures, but wears the same pair of pants to work EVERYDAY, no lie.

This is the same person who takes the entire staff to lunch frequently. One bill was well over a G, and there was no hesitation at all. Most of us would have a lexus, a house we cant afford, and a closet full of clothes we barely wear, and no money left for anything else.

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369 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 2:57 pm

8th notices:

“Most of us would have a lexus, a house we cant afford, and a closet full of clothes we barely wear, and no money left for anything else.” [and a lot of whiteys look scraggley but stack)

yep. i’m trying to squirrel away some cheese right now wonder chick.

…and what’s so wondermous about the 8th? …claim to fame? o.k. ur tall. now what? i mean we have people here that can put there left leg behind their neck and they’re coming of the bench rooks and sh*t. we’re the x-men. professor xavier resigned so im doing the asking. …s really good?

talk black to me.

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370 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 3:11 pm

GK inquires:

“…and what’s so wondermous about the 8th? …claim to fame? o.k. ur tall. now what? i mean we have people here that can put there left leg behind their neck and they’re coming of the bench rooks and sh*t. we’re the x-men. professor xavier resigned so im doing the asking. …s really good?”

Tall, fabulous, ambitious, sarcastic, intelligent and all around amazing. There are none more wonderous than I.

Not braggin, just simply the truth (Who knows that reference?).

And if its X-men we’re talking, I guess I could be Rouge…only difference is once I touch you, not only do you feel the effects, but you crave them as well.

Your go.

371 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Dag GK you have just ruined my sandwich fantasy about her. Stupid food obsession **kicking rocks**

372 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 4:17 pm

@ Wu…

Wait, what? LOL

373 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Come on you didn’t pick up on my bread pun the other day. Wonder bread it’s so soft n stuff. N I have been in love w/ sandwiches ever since before I could form sentances. Like the baby sitter would be like “you don’t ever have to worry about lil WuDaMan not eating. Cause he will go in the fridge and get the food out talkin bout ‘I wan sawich’” real talk this is a true story.

374 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 4:46 pm

I did indeed pick up on it, and I chuckled. But how did he ruin it for you?

You know, nevermind, lol.

*hands you two slices of Wonder bread*

There you go, booskie. Who doesn’t love a good sammich?

375 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:59 pm

I don’t know wwmwmwmwmwmwmwmw *talkin w/ mouth full* you see I have become the hostage of a dietician and she hates me and my love for tasty food. I crave and miss the good stuff. btw there was no real fantasy it was just jokes.

376 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Wonder ima tell u like i told that lil girl backstage

and for the girl back stage, (pause, blinks) and for that girl back stage. make it publicly clear. nevermind who u thought i was.

i’m genius khan bit*h!

heh, heh, heh (inhale) whooooo!

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377 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 3:51 pm

*blank gaze*

*coughs*

That’s Ms. Wonder to you.

378 genius khan September 3, 2008 at 4:21 pm

8th, babe, it’s o.k. ur still some kind of wondermous.

caress urself

genius khan has left the planet

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379 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 4:33 pm

“8th, babe, it’s o.k. ur still some kind of wondermous.”

Damn right.

Now pat yourself on the head, and holler at me the next time Earth is your destination.

380 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:59 pm

IDK– one time I went to Happy Hour with a few of the pink people and our bar tab was over $300, and they (2 guys) were fighting over who was going to pay for it, because they both wanted to. Note the word “they”, cause I had only had 2 margaritas and I was about to drop ten on ‘em and bounce.

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381 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 4:20 pm

you know u didnt have to pay. females never have to pay with them. it doesnt matter how much the tab is or how muich tiddy you reveal.

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382 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 5:53 pm

hahahah!!!
True…

383 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:03 pm

very true, cuz my gays got me covered like granny panties! tiddies is meaningless to them!

384 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

the 8th wonder said it best, their spending habits are different, and while we tend to live a step or two above our means, they tend to live a step or two below. this creates more disposable income

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385 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Yep. I’m trying to get like that, too.

*looks around*

Now where did I put my flip-flops?

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386 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 1:39 pm

hell yeah. down where I was at the only thing my friends splurged in was their truck and its upkeep. thats it. They didnt blow money on clothes furniture or anything else. just trucks, beer, weed and video games.

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387 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Devs were you w/ cargil out there?

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388 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 4:21 pm

downtown M-town. whose cargil? only cargil I know of used to fight for Magneto.

389 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:41 pm
390 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 1:51 pm

that’s because since they were born their parents started saving for them, and taught them to do the same.

I saw it all the time when I worked in the financial industry. Grandma opening an account for her soon to be grandchild = TFB’s (Trust Fund Babies)

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391 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Not the ones I knew. Down there the parents had that “once youre 18 youre grown and on your own dont ask me for sheet” clause. That or they just didnt talk to their folks at all.
I dont hang out with trust fund babies. I scare those kind of people I guess.

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392 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:15 pm

ive actually found that the trustfund babies are the cheapest bastids around! the folks who make it a point involve everyone in the drunkening are usually just regular folk….i think (like was mentioned before) they just spend differently.

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393 shatani September 3, 2008 at 9:56 pm

“I miss those douchebags.”

awww, i miss my douchebags too! and yeah, drunken white folks will be the first to buy you a drink…they take it as a personal insult if youre not as drunk as they are!

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394 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 9:09 am

Maybe this is a geographic thing. Shout out to Shadyside (who knew Pittsburgh was actually hip and trendy WOW. And called for a wiki entry… double wow.)

however, there are some white parties that put the “p” in persnikity (sp) on the east coast. Let us not pretend like their all playing butt naked twister at the local park with a keg.

re: stuff white people like…I can’t go there anymore cause everything that dude likes, my @ss likes. Its not peculiar at all. But I did buy his book. Too funny.

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395 Deviant September 3, 2008 at 9:24 am

“re: stuff white people like…I can’t go there anymore cause everything that dude likes, my @ss likes”

uh oh…

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396 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:30 am

I don’t know, I’ve gone to Repub lobbyist parties and they rocked out. They didn’t care. They let loose as pregnant women and children fluttered about. I can only imagine what’s going on at that daggone convention. I bet it’s all the coke and whores they can handle…Not to say that didn’t pop off at the Dem’s convention. Point is, I’ve found the stuffier ones are the very ones doing keg-stands at 45!

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397 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 9:41 am

those kinds of parties require a certain amount of …umm…solidarity..so persnickity would actually hamper said activities.

I would offer examples..but i fear sounding persnickity.

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398 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:55 am

“Shout out to Shadyside (who knew Pittsburgh was actually hip and trendy WOW. And called for a wiki entry… double wow.)”

thanks and sh*t. im sure the residents of shadyside appreciate the love

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399 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:16 pm

i feel ya, girl…when i first stumbled upon it i was like daaaang…am i white now?!!? lmao. i love like 88% of the stuff white folk like…

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400 The Comeback Girl September 4, 2008 at 12:13 am

“am i white now?!!? ”

lol me too. I had an identity crisis for 3 months, whole foods, knowing whats best for poor people, natural medicine, farmer’s market, Mos Def, recycling, having gay friends… so I refrain from even going there.

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401 shatani September 4, 2008 at 12:25 am

those things were all on my list too! and dont even get me started on wes anderson movies, the daily show, barack obama and sarah silverman! i like to go occasionally still….but yeah, real identity crisis when i first came up on it…

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402 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 9:27 am

Wait…I’m dying that I’m reading at 8:07 AM CST, and there are already 160 comments lol!

Champ, kudos at the shout to Padre…good looking out son! I’ll add my little 2 cents in as a gal who also grew up around the 2520′s. They do have FUN! I always enjoyed hanging out with them a heck of a lot more. Black folks…was always on some killjoy/wet blanket isht…allow me to give an example.

High school…I made the cheer squad. The same year, another black girl also made it. She and I had also been on the track team together, so I’m like ok, cool. Several of the 2520′s were folk I’d known since forever, and she had too, so I’m like yeah, we’ll be one big happy family. Unfortunately, the other black chick had some um, friends that got into her head and started questioning her “blackness”. On our cheer retreat that year, chica started bugging the hayle out. Wouldn’t hang with us, stayed in the cabin moping and whatnot, just on some straight bs. I was like, yanno what, whatever…went and kicked it with them at the c&w dance club that night. Had uber fun…learned a few line dances, and so on. Her “attitude” continued the whole year…while I got super close to my other cheer compadres. Who had more fun?

Moral here…its’ okay not to wear your blackness on your sleeve all the time. On the relationship level, I have problems with dating black men who have super duper YT issues. If, for instance, going to a comedy club with *gasp* a white comedian…makes you get all up in arms…we ain’t a match. If I can’t take you to a mixed (or majority) gathering where we might be a minority…without being afraid that I’ll probably not be invited back…we ain’t a match. In summary…have fun n*gga!

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403 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 10:59 am

@ JBoogie~

I was trying to read right b4 I jumped into the shower, thinking I could get through some of the west coast comments and reflect on the subject before I respond, but I couldn’t believe it either. 160 really, has it come to his VSBers?

“Wait…I’m dying that I’m reading at 8:07 AM CST, and there are already 160 comments”

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404 K.I.M. September 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

I wrote a short blog on this very thing. The habits of white and black people are VERY different when it comes to a social scene. have several questions myself:
Beer pong and other random drunk games. Why?
Flip flops with otherwise cute outfits. Why?
Limited dancing + great music. Why?
Lack of holleration between the men and women. Why?

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405 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:37 am

Y’all are straight trippin’ on the flip-flops. In my partying youth, I specifically chose purses big enough for shoes and flip-flops. Once I got settled in the spot and wanted to seriously shake my money-maker, the fancy shoes came off, flip-flops came on.

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406 K.I.M. September 3, 2008 at 9:59 am

I can’t lean back & dip it low in flip flops like I can with heels. They provide much needed balance when I’m ready to cut a rug. The flip flops come out at the end of the night on the walk back to the car!

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407 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:56 am

“I can’t lean back & dip it low in flip flops like I can with heels”

lol…yeah, nowhere did i say that sistas need to start rocking flip-flops and beat champions to the club. please, continue with the heel game

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408 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:03 am

I think I can field one of these preguntas “Beer pong and other random drunk games. Why?”
I am reminded of the movie Half Baked. There is a scene that introduces the types of smokers. There are the smokers that want to try everythign on ‘smoke’. Same theory only on alcohol it is a powerful drug. And if you don’t like that one. It is usually a game to show prowess n verve. Once enibriated most people (because I have met people that cannot get drunk; genetic reasons) their hind brain takes over. I actually saw a documentary on this. Therefore w/ basic needs afoot only motivation to do anything is to gain advantage over the competition present for the mattress mombo.

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409 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:23 pm

drinking games are fun! everything is more fun when you turn it into a game! lol

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410 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

Ok, I’ve had enough of y’all downing how Blacks party. As a card carrying member of Blacks R Us, we rock out too. BUT, I think what helps us avoid most of the things y’all have listed–at least in my closer party circle–is that we have all partied with whites. We have had years of at-the-party training with them! Remind me to tell y’all about the Festivus party I once went to. So when we go out, we don’t care. We’re there to have a damned good time. The whites taught us well.

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411 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 9:55 am

Oh snap I can’t resist a story. Gather round VSB and Sisters **sitting everyone in a semicircle around the Hostess on a carpet with leggs folded** **singing** We Are Climbing Jacobs ladder. Festivus for the rest of us? N how did you even get invited?

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412 Hostess September 3, 2008 at 3:42 pm

My girl who worked on the Hill at the time was invited. And you know whites absolutely do not care if you bring a friend or several to their parties. Yeah, they had a Festivus Pole and everything.

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413 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Did you happen to stay long enough to bare witness to the feats of strength? Who won? I’m feeling like holding my own just for the heck of it. Wow.

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414 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Airing of grievances….lmao!!!

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415 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 4:42 pm

hecks yeah toooo funny lol

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416 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:52 pm

“Yeah, they had a Festivus Pole and everything.”

where would you rank the original festivus episode when listing the best seinfeld episodes of all time?

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417 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 4:23 pm

5th place in my top 10.

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418 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:29 pm

word!

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419 Jaclynn September 3, 2008 at 9:37 am

I will say that having gone to a PWI most of my life I have seen these same instances. For me, these women and men can party through anything. For instance, having gone to college in NOLA I have recognize that up until Gustav, they will get in a boat on Bourbon St. and drink a hurricane and call it party. They won’t know when it hits cause they will be too drunk…ahh the miracle of looseness.

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420 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:57 am

“the miracle of looseness.”

sidenote: this is the working title of liz’s upcoming autobiography.

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421 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:29 pm

dammit…i guess that means “drunk with p” has been booted.

we actually had this convo yesterday since everytime Liz hangs with me…she gets DUSTED!

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422 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:39 pm

yeah…i heard liz is a bit of a lightweight. i think she might need to go through vsb boot camp again

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423 PlatinumKAM September 3, 2008 at 9:56 am

Maybe I live under a rock (which is possible) but I always have a good time when I go anywhere with my friends, regardless of the environment. Hell if there are two of us going to get sushi can be quite an adventure. But then again we all have jobs where we are the racial representatives and we are usually referred to as the black white girls.

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424 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 10:32 am

“Maybe I live under a rock (which is possible) but I always have a good time when I go anywhere with my friends, regardless of the environment. Hell if there are two of us going to get sushi can be quite an adventure. But then again we all have jobs where we are the racial representatives and we are usually referred to as the black white girls”
——

This is very true. I think it also depends what your into (maybe it also says something about how we generally need to widen our scope-even outside of a party). Fun can be had in just about ANY experience.

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425 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:35 pm

i think its more about who youre with than what youre doing….i mean i have some pretty carefree black chicks i hang with; they arent afraid to be goofy and occasionally get loud in public (laughter i mean, not the neck shakin variety of loud). however, i havent had a lot of that in the black variety in the past. they were cool and everything, but it wasnt a relaxed cool. now, nothing is more laid back than going to the Tattooed Mom on a tuesday night for some cheese fries and Buds with my white comrades…good times, good times!

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426 Slim Jackson September 3, 2008 at 10:02 am

Good white folks will do anything for you. It’s just in their nature with that care-freeness. You don’t need to give them any money or anything like that. Perhaps it’s because they have no oppression to be hostile about. I have the ability to crowd up between the races. Aside from when they start asking questions about black culture, it tends to be pretty care-free. Go to a party with the liberal ones and it’s like “hey, who’s the cool black guy?” Go to a black party a lot of the time and it’s like “who’s that n*gga? i don’t know that cat.”

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427 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:59 am

“Good white folks will do anything for you”

if you substitute “people” for “white folks”, i agree 100 percent

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428 Slim Jackson September 3, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Well Champ. I’m going to re-word and say non-racist cool white people will typically do anything for you. The meat (PAUSE) of my comment remains the same. Good is relative by the way. I realized that after the 2 minutes to edit thing expired.lol. My comment game is a little rusty. I been out the mix for a bit.

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429 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm

isnt it odd how youre automatically the cool negro at the party?? just my presence has upped the cool quotient of this shindig!

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430 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 10:02 am

Y’all are forgetting one thing though. As a black man, I won’t change my party experiences for the world. All that beer pong and flip flops is funny and interesting and stuff, but lets be serious for a second. When I go out I want to see Ms. Fat Booty stylin on em with the stilettos sippin on an incredible hulk and doing the hot wuk…aye aye aye aye aye aye aye!

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431 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:15 am

Word up Dorian. I think it has to be a balance. Sometimes they should come to our clubs n try to get down w/ us. Instead of taking our music dances n stuff n stuff.

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432 K.I.M. September 3, 2008 at 11:03 am

I also think that says something about the aggression differences between white and black men. I had a white girlfriend say that she has to be more aggressive when it comes to vetting white men than black men. It’s true, when I hang with white folk, the men are timid and sit back. When I’m amongst black men, all I have to do is breathe and they will approach without fail.

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433 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:00 pm

“When I go out I want to see Ms. Fat Booty stylin on em with the stilettos sippin on an incredible hulk and doing the hot wuk…aye aye aye aye aye aye aye!”

i agree. i think we just need to find a way to combine the best of both worlds.

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434 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Agreed. Though my white friends are fun, I have had the BEST times with black folk. Usually at a reggae concert/club with a live band. Crowds there (there are some white folk, lol) just seems looser. When the bass hits, I LOVE to see black folk snap off. Nothin like it.

And I prefer to see some effort put into a Sat. night outfit. And by effort I mean clean jeans. lol.

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435 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:40 pm

does one pass with the febreeze count?

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436 Dom September 3, 2008 at 10:07 am

This is so true. White people can have fun damn near anywhere, doing just about anything. I see them having a blast all over Boston, clubbing in sweat pants and flip flops, hanging out on the Common for a game of pick up frisby with people they just met, and even falling all over each other on those Party Buses on friday nights.

Although I would have to add that they DO need more than oxygen. Since the age of about 12, they also need some alcohol to keep a party going. But as long as they have a few drinks, they’re pretty much down for anything. You could set up shop in a damn funeral home on the tip of hell and white people would still come…as long as it was open bar.

The biggest difference I’ve seen is that most white people generally have less stress than black people the same age. And they generally handle the stress they do have much better than their black counterparts.

Also, notice that a boatload of alcohol plays a major part in overlooking 6 out of 7 needs black people have when partying. Maybe we just need to do more drinking?

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437 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 10:51 am

Yep, but since we are stressed and oppressed all more the reason to not be so uptight when it comes to partying. Ya think?

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438 Dom September 3, 2008 at 11:32 am

That would be nice, but we have a lot more stuff on our plates. Like someone above me said, black people get profiled in every aspect of our lives. White people can have a few beers and a cd player going. Black people do the same thing and we’re staring up a riot.

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439 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm

“That would be nice, but we have a lot more stuff on our plates”

i think that for the most part, this is more perception than reality. i think that we THINK that we have always have more on our plate, but in most cases, it’s really not that serious.

you see this in other aspects of life as well, especially volunteer work (another discussion for another time)

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440 Dom September 3, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Let me know the time and the place. I’d be more than willing to SMASH you in that discussion!

Sounds like we have two totally different points of view.

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441 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:41 pm

“Let me know the time and the place. I’d be more than willing to SMASH you in that discussion!”

you know where to find me. it aint hard

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442 devessel September 3, 2008 at 1:08 pm

CHAMP (blowing kisses*), u are reading my mind about that. puh-leeeze post on that, but soon…

*don’t be mad, Panama…

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443 Panama Jackson September 3, 2008 at 2:30 pm

lol…i’m cool.

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444 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:43 pm

“CHAMP (blowing kisses*), u are reading my mind about that. puh-leeeze post on that, but soon…”

lol…sure thing

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445 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 10:37 am

Another thing I don’t think that the south is so far from this multicultural celebration of each other. When my cousins get together it is a free for all of fun. Devs that is how everyone parties in the M-town or @ least that is my experience (BTW were you w/ cargil down there?). I won’t forget the thanksgiving when we got lit @ one cousins apt then hit the club 4 some blue mickey fickeys then had a soul train line down beal street before rushing the door @ a kareoke bar n taking over gettting tips from fellow patrons. Put on a full production of proud mary. N on the way to the car we found a closed ampatheater where we went and everybody did a song drunked song no less but we did the dog on thang.

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446 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 10:54 am

I tell my students of color all the time while they are here at a PWI, make friends that lack melanin it is to your benefit. But be sincere in cultivating these relationships you never know who you are sitting next to in the intro to Psychology or Chem class.

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447 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm

good advice and sh*t

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448 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:09 pm

I do what I can and ish

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449 swt cheeks September 3, 2008 at 11:03 am

Long time reader, first time commenter lol. I have rly enjoyed myself reading this blog. Wait…that doesn’t sound right….

Anyways, I def have to agree w/ most of what has been said already, the white folk to tend to let loose a lot more than we do, but not all. When I was in high school, I had a pretty diverse set of friends, but my white friends were just cool ppl in general to kick it with – we always had a lot funny and acted a little goofy because thats just what we did. It wasn’t a black thing or a white thing. Hell, we even made fun of the ppl who were up to the antics described in the post. White ppl making fun other white ppl for doing stereotypicallly white things yesss!

I’m all for emulating some of our caucasian friends traits, however, there is a difference btw having fun within your circle of buddies while at the club and having fun outside of your circle. Stepping on ppl’s toes, literally, spilling drinks on pants/tops, screaming in ppl’s ears while singing an off key “You shook me all night long” (the YT bar anthem hands down)….hmmm not so much.

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450 Dom September 3, 2008 at 11:47 am

In Boston the anthem is Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believeing.” I know all the words.

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451 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 11:55 am

Here it’s Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”.
I normally just look around in amazement as they sing in unison.

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452 Dom September 3, 2008 at 11:57 am

He was here two weeks ago preforming at Fenway! 2520′s were loving it! He sang Sweet Caroline 5 TIMES!

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453 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:08 pm

“Sweet Caroline” is a Fenway classic, it is sung at every Boston Red Sox game at the bottom of the 7th . GO SOX!

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454 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:47 pm

thats always my favorite part of the game! awww, i miss fenway! le sigh…

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455 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:21 pm

5 times? Wow.

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456 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 12:02 pm

our’s is Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody…

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457 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 1:47 pm

“In Boston the anthem is Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believeing.” I know all the words.”

THIS is my song right here! I try to listen to it daily lol!

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458 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:49 pm

now THAT is whats hot on the boulevard!

the caucasian love of that song starts mad young! when i was workin at the elementary school in the “nice” school district, we were playing musical chairs and even the five year olds knew the words to Dont Stop Believing!

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459 Oola72 September 3, 2008 at 2:05 pm

I thought the Boston Bar theme was Abba’s “Dancing Queen” or “I Will Survive”.. at least it was on Friday Nights at the Phoenix Landing… ooh.. good times.. good times..

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460 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:51 pm

dancing queen is definitely a fan favorite too….but Journey and Boston (More Than A Feeling) have it beat. not by much, though….

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461 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:46 pm

yes! that and sweet caroline! and i always see white folk gettin drunk and singing piano man by billy joel and im like, why would you want to hear THAT song?!?! that is depressing as sh*t!

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462 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm

thanks for stopping by, sweet cheeks.

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463 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:09 pm

In NC it is Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” or Guns and Roses “Welcome to the Jungle”, which is actually my ish too!

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464 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:11 pm

“Welcome to the Jungle” is my running song… I love G&R

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465 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 1:22 pm

And the funny thing is the song was introduced to me by a Black movie… “Lean on Me”

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466 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Patience and November Rain…good times…lol

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467 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 1:53 pm

November Rain is the bomb, I remember that video, I thought it was too hot!

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468 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 2:00 pm

That was a hot video!

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469 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm

her wedding dress was off the hook, made me want to wear a mini dress (clutch the pearls) when I got married

470 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Yes ma’am. I just rewatching it on youtube. Made me remember that dress all over again…lol

471 Not Really That Cold September 3, 2008 at 11:09 am

I haven’t read the other comments, but I think that I am a scholar in the subject of W.S.I., or White Social Interactions because of boarding school, and all of that good stuff. One of the starkest contrasts between us and our melanin-deprived brethren can be observed during parties. White individuals tend to be more nonchalant about sh*t.
Let’s take an example;
Molly, a white bigger-than-big girl, is at a party where the marjority of the partygoers are white and her song comes on. “I Like Big Butts” by Sir Mix-A-Lot. She then proceeds to jiggle to the dance floor and shake what her momma and BK gave her. She has the time of her life.

Furonda, Molly’s black equivalent, is at a party where everyone is black, for the most part. Her song, “Donk” by Soulja Boy, comes on, but she doesn’t move. Her butt is glued to the chair on the wall. Even though a few dudes approach her and ask her to dance, she refuses and remains seated.

A + B = white people have more fun…
Now I haven’t chilled with many of them that are that much older tan me, so I don’t know if this trend continues, but this is my take..sooo….yea

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472 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 11:21 am

I worked at a brokerage firm for 3 years with all White guys and a couple of white femmes fetale and the most interesting thing to me was how they would fight over the bill. It got to the point where I expected never to pay for meals or drinks if I was out with 2 or three of them. NEVER NEVER does this happen around my friends of color.

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473 eff yo couch September 3, 2008 at 11:23 am

lol. My black friends and I fight over who gets to run out the door first when skipping out on a bill

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474 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm

see that is what I’m talking about!

when I go out with certain peoples (my peoples) I know who is going to say “ok lets divide the bill by x (however many there are of us)” and who is going to say, “my meal and drinks came to 42.29 and that includes tax and tip”.

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475 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm

I’m down with splitting the bill x whomever is present. The two problems are there is always one person who is “on a budget” that only orders water, then its the person who wants to try the lobster and steak special after having appetizers. Person A always throws a fit if they have to pay more than $2.50 and Person B always trys to put in a $20 like thats their share.

Moral of the story, I only eat out with people who have jobs and don’t have kids.

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476 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:26 pm

“Moral of the story, I only eat out with people who have jobs and don’t have kids.”

Ha ha!

I love it, that is why I know, really know who Im going out with, I mean there is this one friend in my crew she is no joke about paying only for what she eats so I know when we I go out with her she is breaking out the calculator if necessary, and she is hardly on a budget, she’s just CHEAP! needless to say we don’t hang out much.

oh and as for the peeps in the crew that like to order high end Martinis and Filet Mignon (pronounce the g please). Yeah I will be the first one to call them out and be like, “Miss Filet Mignon you need to come out your pocket a lil bit more.”

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477 JBoogie September 3, 2008 at 1:51 pm

“Moral of the story, I only eat out with people who have jobs and don’t have kids.”

MESSAGE!

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478 The Comeback Girl September 3, 2008 at 2:09 pm

“Moral of the story, I only eat out with people who have jobs and don’t have kids.”

**Jesus at the ice capades doing a triple turn**

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. takin out a calculator subtracting everybody’s tax. Itemizing crumbs, dollar cost averaging a da$mn hamburger. just let me pay. With all that frustration stay yo @zz at home.

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479 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:56 pm

“Moral of the story, I only eat out with people who have jobs and don’t have kids.”

preach!

shoot and dont let it be your birthday…white folk will try to physically harm you if you reach for the wallet on your birthday! lol…when i do that with my black friends (not the current set…they are all mad cool) they are always soooo surprised and im like, thats just how its done…now dont expect no present, im a student dammit!

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480 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:45 pm

“She then proceeds to jiggle to the dance floor and shake what her momma and BK gave her”

this made me choke on my salted celery pieces

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481 eff yo couch September 3, 2008 at 11:22 am

I will say white people do know how to have a good time. My only beef with them is you can’t go to sleep or fall out drunk while around them . . .because you bound to wake up with your eye brows shaved off. Yes white people do know how to party, but they also play too many pranks

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482 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:17 pm

“Yes white people do know how to party, but they also play too many pranks”

yeah…this was addressed upthread. they’re the kings of pranks.

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483 shatani September 3, 2008 at 10:59 pm

they play too much! lol

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484 Vodka&Milk September 3, 2008 at 11:34 am

You know what, you are right on it with this post. They will make a fun and exciting experience out of anything. I have a white bff and I can attest to this first hand. They are the first ones you see in the club dancing, hell they start dancing when they enter the door. You know “we” have to 1st-saunter over the the bar to order our perfect cocktail, 2nd-scope out the room to see in front of which man we want to shake our tailfeather as to invite him to scoot behind us, and 3rd determine if its the right ratio of dancers in the middle of the floor to lurkers standing around the perimeter. But let them hear a beat to a song they love and they’re gone, right in the middle of the floor, dancing like no one is watching.

Such a carefree life, sure wish we could live like that, lmao!

–Sasha Two Pistols

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485 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:15 pm

“3rd determine if its the right ratio of dancers in the middle of the floor to lurkers standing around the perimeter”

this one kills me the most, lol. cats won’t start dancing until the dance floor is soo packed that you can’t help but dance

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486 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 12:46 pm

I think there needs to be more unity amongst our people. When the cousins hit a city. We have an heir of we are the party. There is a love and bond that provides a comfort level that the nay sayers can’t penetrate. If we was all feeling the love all the time we wouldn’t be so up tight woudn’t do so much hatin. Yeah there is a time to keep it real and there is a time to kick it just as hard as we keep it real.

When I hit Toronto n ran into my boys from school. There were some pearls afoot. Embrace the hate (this is like a care bear stare they can only hate for so long before they are having fun too). It is something they have become conditioned to do it’s who they are. and one from the Champ above appreciate the love (I for one love this cuz in my everyday life I don’t think I even say thank you too much any more. I say I appreciate you. I appreciate the love whatever form it may be in). Embrace the hate and appreciate the love.

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487 shatani September 3, 2008 at 11:01 pm

i sure do wish i could dance like no one is watching….that has never happened at a black club, i’ll tell ya that much. the one time it did, i was all kinds of toasted on pride night at the gay club with my “homosexual husband”….i suppose it helps that truly no one was watching! lol

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488 eff yo couch September 3, 2008 at 11:39 am

I agree, us black folk need to just have fun. Just put things in place for a second. One an average club night you’ll spend $15-$20 just for parking, $20 at the door. I drink like a fish ( I’ve been known to spend $100 on $2 night at the bar) so I spend about $75 -125 on drinks. My point is Black people are known to be flashy and shyt, so if you going to be “balling” at the club at least make sure you get your money’s worth & Party like it’s 1999. What’s the point of spending all the money and standing on the wall mean muggin ninjas?

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489 Dorian G. September 3, 2008 at 12:09 pm

Lil Jon told me to mean mug in the club

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490 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:12 pm

@Dorian G~I don’t know if I have told you, I been e-crushin you for a minute, but lately I been e-Luvin you. carry on!

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491 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:12 pm

Oh gosh, I hate the Lil John portion of the club…. can I get a yeahhhhh on that one?

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492 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Yeah, and then you have to wait outside for an hour to get into an empty club, that irks me to no end….

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493 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:13 pm

“What’s the point of spending all the money and standing on the wall mean muggin ninjas?”

i never understood this either. i honestly think that theres nothing gayer than getting dressed to come to a club, and spending all night ice-grilling other ninjas while ignoring the scantily clad chickens running around.

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494 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Ice-grilling is for suckas!

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495 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 12:43 pm

“Ice-grilling is for suckas!”

I disagree. Ice-grilling is necessary at times. Maybe not in the club, but in real life outside of the club. Or, when someone steps on ur shoes in the club and don’t say “scuse me”.

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496 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Why do people expect that their shoes won’t get stepped on when 500 people are packed into a room made for 100 though? I always wondered that…..

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497 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:19 pm

I only ice-grill when you step on my toes when I’m wearing my strappy heels.
That gets an ice grill e’retime.

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498 8th Wonder September 3, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Sometimes you have to ice-grill.

When you’re trying to get by, and you know the heifer heard you say excuse me, but you say it once more just in case and they still don’t move.

Thats when I gotta get on my Jerome Bettis and just knock a b!tch down…I SAID excuse me.

Oh, and THEN I ice-grill.

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499 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 3:46 pm

“Thats when I gotta get on my Jerome Bettis and just knock a b!tch down…I SAID excuse me.”

STEELERS STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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500 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 4:13 pm

THE BUS!!!!!!!
or better yet old school
BAM Morris…lmao!!

501 B4Prez September 3, 2008 at 11:41 am

Black ppl are too busy trying to be instead of just being.

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502 K.I.M. September 3, 2008 at 11:45 am

I kind of have to agree even though I don’t want to.

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503 GB September 3, 2008 at 11:43 am

THIS IS HILARIOUS AND SOOOO TRUE! I’m cracking up at work!
gabriellebryant.squarespace.com

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504 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:07 pm

thanks and sh*t

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505 Teech September 3, 2008 at 11:47 am

I had a blast in college for this very reason. That is, after I learned to let go and enjoy the moment and toss out the black people norms. I feel for folks who never step out of their comfort zones.

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506 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 12:08 pm

“I feel for folks who never step out of their comfort zones.”

me too

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507 Monk September 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm

The carefree-ness of white folks allow them to check their egos and pretentious-ness at the door. Broke niggas seem to have this same trait. We can all learn from white people and poor niggas.

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508 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 2:33 pm

**gives Monk Mars Blackman fingertip dap** YEAH!

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509 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 2:37 pm

“We can all learn from white people and poor ni99as”

I can see someone wearing that as a tshirt… which reminds me I just bought my vsb shirts

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510 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 12:21 pm

I jsut though about something, every time I go to a white or Hispanic club/party I always meet new people and drinks have no strings attached….. at the black establishments the only people I meet are the men looking for jump-off prospects….

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511 Intellectual Hedonist September 3, 2008 at 12:34 pm

I love that about my people., At a Spanish club I can dance and drink all night and not expect said guy to stalk me all night

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512 laylah September 3, 2008 at 1:30 pm

come to new york. the spanish men here are stalkers… beasts more like it.

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513 Teech September 3, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Ain’t that the truth! White folks give away beer like no other! I recall a time I was walking with a few buds when we got an invitation to join a party on the porch/lawn. We left two hours later FULL. It was always like that on the yard; don’t think I would try that now though.

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514 shatani September 3, 2008 at 11:08 pm

i have similar memories…folks just drunk on the porch inviting strangers into the house for a drink and junk…always good times!

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515 B4Prez September 3, 2008 at 12:47 pm

This is because black ppl are all too busy making sure they don’t commit the cardinal sins of socializing and being friendly. It’s the reason why most haven’t made a friend (outside of coworkers) since college.

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516 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Nice.

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517 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 1:25 pm

I have a white chick friend who is clearly missing the WFPG (white folk party gene). She only dates black men and is always, always wanting to go to “upscale” black events (as she calls it) to look for them. She sports the funky face if not in a place with atmosphere (i.e. a place where brothas will check for her).

She did, however, turn me on the Wed. $5 martini and half priced appetizer. God bless her. I drank and eat up before the fools in their preppy gear show up. Lol.

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518 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 2:38 pm

“She did, however, turn me on the Wed. $5 martini and half priced appetizer. God bless her. I drank and eat up before the fools in their preppy gear show up. Lol.”

you know, i just got up on happy hour drink specials and free food like 8 months ago. it feels like i’ve entered a whole new world and sh*t.

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519 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Are you serious? Wow.
Man, there’s a place here that we go to faithfully. $3 margaritas and free nacho/taco buffet.
That’s love right there.

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520 V.E.G. September 3, 2008 at 3:33 pm

I loves me a good margarita.

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521 Naturally Alise September 3, 2008 at 3:57 pm

nacho/taco buffet sounds splendiferous!

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522 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 4:27 pm

lol!!! spleniferous!!!!
Yes, it is.

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523 shatani September 3, 2008 at 11:10 pm

awww, cheap martinis are the best stuff on earth! eff a snapple!

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524 laylah September 3, 2008 at 1:36 pm

You do make some good points Champ, and I think everything you wrote does apply to the younger generation of white people. However, it doesn’t apply to the older generations. I am half white and I can honestly say that my mother(she is the caucasian) is one of the most worrisome people I have ever met in my life. Please dont blame that on that fact that she is my mother. My grandmother, my aunts and uncles are all the same way. No one can let anything roll off their backs, everything is a big production… my father on the other hand (the black one)… doesn’t give a flying f*** about little, trivial things… and I love him for it.

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525 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 2:39 pm

interesting.

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526 WeStillSleepin!? September 3, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I’m lovin this post it is so true, and so on the money!! I’m from the ‘hood’ but have worked in the corporate enviornment so I’ve got the balancing act on lock, but like I can’t take my peoples to work functions, they be all complaining and shyt,(me like everything is free and top shelf, not seeing the problem) and can’t take any co-workers to ‘our’ clubs, poor things be so on display like they in a store front window, and I get leaned on all night for bring the white person and now everyone’s gotta watch what they say!! LOL but all them (white) folks need is space(optional) and alcohol as long as its after 5pm the party is on. I have had the best times of my ‘partying life’ with some of my co-workers!! Yeah, its tired sometimes being the lone defender/dear Abby for all things black, and my long hair does curl up and go back to straight just like yours, but I’ve found that they are just as intrigued by us as we are of them. But having one or a few in the pocket/PDA can make all the difference. and please can someone please tell this “no longer learking blogger” what 2520′s are?? I’m still learning the lingo…

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527 miss t-lee September 3, 2008 at 3:17 pm

25th letter of the alphabet Y
20th letter of the alphabet T

Put them together…you’re welcome. :)
Stop lurking!!!

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528 WuDaMan September 3, 2008 at 3:40 pm

oh my gawd. I just reallized I read that as if it were plain anglish. Dag gamut. growin up in the hood w/ the gangstar code for the dog on alphabet.

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529 WeStillSleepin!? September 4, 2008 at 11:07 am

Guess I’m just too slow, for you WuDaMan!!!

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530 shatani September 3, 2008 at 11:17 pm

i was so about to ask that as well!

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531 WeStillSleepin!? September 4, 2008 at 11:10 am

okay, okay, see shatani’s not a new commer and she didn’t know either! lol Hey the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask right??

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532 Lil'T September 3, 2008 at 4:04 pm

So much that I agree with here. I grew up in a mostly black county (yeah P.G.!) but as I was in the Talented and Gifted (read:young nerd) program I was exposed to a more diverse crowd (read: 2520′s and asians). What have I learned? White folks know how to have a better time than we do. Fill up a kiddie pool and sit in your front yard drinking and smoking skunk? Sure. Will 10 people, some of them strangers, stop to join you? Hells yeah.

One word of warning, though: Watch out for the drunken white “WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!” There is a 90% chance that some truly foul ish is about to go down, and you don’t want to be the only black person in the room when the cops show up.

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533 Stix September 3, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Shouts to those who grew up in PG’s TAG program, all of what I learned about the 2520′s in middle school, sure did help when I hit the working world. My first week in corporate America, i spent on a business trip in Va. Beach, learning about how much they let loose and dont givet a f*ck. So champ you def hit this one on tha head.

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534 Luvvie September 3, 2008 at 11:20 pm

I keep getting updates in my inbox bout the comments being added to this post and they ALL from Shatani. Shatani, I believe you were one of the FIRST people to comment and you are one of the last. Honey, go lay down. Eat a meal. Blink. lol The next post is almost up. I LOFFF U like reformed crackheads love dentistry!!

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535 Liz September 3, 2008 at 11:21 pm

LOL! Why was I thinking the same thing about MY inbox? LOL.

*hugs shatani*

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536 shatani September 3, 2008 at 11:42 pm

hahahaha….sorry! it was a loooong day at work, i was in the mood for some tomfoolery! i’ll try and keep it to myself next time! lol

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537 The Champ September 3, 2008 at 11:46 pm

lol, please. dont pay luvvie and the lizzard any mind.

continue the tomfoolery and sh*t.

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538 Grasshopper September 4, 2008 at 1:37 am

“I LOFFF U like reformed crackheads love dentistry!!”

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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539 jess September 15, 2008 at 4:22 pm

I’m mad late with this, but I’ve noticed two things, at least about NYC culture:

When white adults party, they stand around, talk and drink
When white kids party, they smoke weed, touch each other and drink

I go out to dance, and I’m not much of a talker, so you can see how this seems to be a problem for me

And the one thing I always admired about white people were: their innate sense of entitlement. Unmatched in any other color of the spectrum, at least without overcompensation involved.

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