We used to Friday Fun around here where’d we wax poetically about random non-sensically detailed and intricuate musings of darker breed. If that sentence makes any sense to you…well, you’re full of sh*t and probably think that Matrix: Reloaded made sense.
Yes, I just called you a lie.
Anyway, I, Panama Dontavious Jackson, have some things to get off my chest so I figure that I’d confess a few things to reach a sort of catharsis of the spirit. Some of these confessions will be deep, dark, and dank. Hmm, first confession, I’m not fully sure what “dank” means but I’m most assuredly sure I don’t want to be anywhere that is dank. It sounds like what I imagine Grace Jones is like in the morning.
Dank.
So, like Usher…these are my confessions…
For the longest time, I didn’t know what the original white meat was. I mean I knew that pork was the other white meat, but I wasn’t sure what the other other white meat was. In 2006, I was informed that it was chicken. I have just disappointed the Black community in ways no other man has done in years. It hasn’t been this bad since the Great Watermelon Fiasco of 1994.
Speaking of chicken. Le sigh.
I do not like chicken with bones in it. I’m a breast man in more ways than one. It just tastes different to me or something. When I was little, I used to take the wings and hid them behind a bookcase in my house and pretend I ate the chicken. Now this would have brilliant except for the fact that NOBODY EVER SAW BONES ON MY PLATE. Yeah, I was a bit shortsighted as a mere tyke.
I once told a homeless man that I wanted to be just like him when I grow up. *deep sigh* So, I was walking down the street and this homeless guy asked me for some money. Being the medium-sized baller that I am, I handed him 2 bucks and he said to me, “my man, you’re looking cool, I’m trying to be like you when I grow up.” Being the genius and condescending f*ck I apparently am, I replied with, “no, I’m trying to be like YOU when I group.” He looked at me like, well like a condescending f*ck at which point I realized what I’d said and I put my head down in shame and walked away.
One of my boys from high school has one arm, and I didn’t notice it for 2 whole years. Yes, pencil in me for the most oblivious man of the millenium award for $2,000 please, Alex. I actually got into an argument with one of my other boys about this because I swore Mike had two arms. I was like, that ninja wears jerseys and everything (he never did). After that argument, I saw him and lo and behold, The Fugitive did only have one arm. Bonus: Once we were cleaning my boys house (me, The Fugitive, and my boy Tray) and Tray and Mike got into an argument because The Fugitive said he could do anything we could do better. My boy Tray…told The Fugitive to clap.
Game. Set. Match.
I am afraid of Star Jones. She came to my club once and I was tasked with serving her and her table and I initially refused because I was afraid to look her in the eye. I’m dead serious.
I religiously watch America’s Next Top Model, 90210, and pretty much every other questionable television program you can imagine. You name it, I’m sure I watch it. Not sure why but I’m drawn to dramatic television. And shows with skinny white girls, high school white kids, and anything involving Italian weddings is sure to drum up the non-sense.
I once tried to smoke some incense, figure that since no Mary Jane was present, it’s possible that incense will give you a similar buzz. I was wrong. I got sick. Oh you want to know how? Yeah, me and my boy just crumbled it up and rolled it up, lit it up, smoked it up, inhaled, exhaled. I walked around smelling like potpourri for a week. That? Very dumb. By the way, I don’t actually smoke…anything. And never have.
I’ve never seen Jurassic Park. For real.
Anyway, those are a few confessions from yours truly.
My good friends here at VSB, I’ve shared because I care. Won’t you share?
Purge yourself.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
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{ 590 comments… read them below or add one }
First!!!
@Manny,
LAME…
I looked down and read # 3 of your post and….. um lets just not make this a habit.
@Dat Chic, That’s why it’s a confession, there’s slight shame attached to it. I won already, so I now have a “been there done that” type of attitude toward first commenter.
@Manny, Pants on the ground!!!!
@WuDaMan, not pants on the ground!!! that song is the greatest non-song ever.
@Panama Jackson,
Nah it can’t get w/ Very smart brothas very smart brothas who are you who are we who are you who are we
vsb
I had to try to listen to that like 4 or 5 time it was 1. funny to die on 2. a good song
@WuDaMan, well thank you kind sir….i like our theme music too.
@WuDaMan,
With the gold in yo mouf!
@Cheekie
Hat turned sideways!!!
@PanamaJackson
This is my Confessions:
1. I didn’t have my first date until March last year…I will be 21 in a week.
2. I bumped a parked car two days after I got my driver’s liscence- Looked in the rear view for damage saw a tiny scratch and SCREECHED away.
3. After having the first comment I feel VICTORIOUS!!!
Do you watch Bad Girls Club? Jersey Shore? The reality ones catch me, usually after they show a fight in the previews. Gossip Girl keeps trying to suck me in but I resist. You need to see Jurassic Park on a wide screen with surround sound. It’s an experience.
@Manny,
OMG! I bumped a parked car 2 wks after getting my license and left a little paint from my car on the other car’s bumper and just kept going…
Well, I got my pay back about 5 yrs later when my car was parked in front of my apartment and someone hit it- knocking the entire back bumper off of my car and just leaving the scene.
Karma bites.
@Made In Hawaii, Damn, that sucks. I just got my car going officially, so I hope I can wait 5 years for my karma too.
@Manny,
Oh no! I hope you don’t think I was saying karma’s headed for you? …just saying it indeed sucked for me because I was truly sorry for bumping that car. I didn’t do anything about it because I was scared. Don’t expect any bad karma. I think that’s where I made my mistake, I just kept waiting for it…
@Manny, i’ve tried to do Bad Girls Club but I just hate the chicks so much I cant watch.
besides thats why i watch for the love of ray j.
@Panama Jackson, I caught Tanisha out there from BGC once. Was with the ex (who loves to make stinks about anything I would possibly do as if she’s my mother), so I didn’t get to say hello or anything.
@Panama Jackson, I Love New York had that effect on me because I just….can’t. For the Love of Ray J is the one I don’t watch. Except for the reunion.
@Manny,
ummm, who DOESNT watch jersey shore?
@The Champ,
i dont. not becuz i dont want to tho. just cuz i havent had a chance to see it.
@The Champ, I just heard of this show for the first time yesterday.
@The Champ, I don’t, because I don’t care much for MTV.
And recognizing old girl from BGC upthread was because the ex-factor watched it at my rest.
Confession
1. I’ve never been kissed. I turn 20 in 2 months.
2. I’ve never seen Jurassic Park as well.
3. I enjoy watching Wendy Williams.
4. I think Wiz Khalifa is adorable…
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco, Anyone that’s never seen Jurassic Park is clearly a terrorist.
@Yeah…SO?!,
I’m actually Muslim, so that comment made me chuckle. I’ve never seen Jaws either. *shrugs*
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco, o_O … lol
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco, hmm…Wiz Khalifa is a scary looking cat. The fact that you know who he is either means your from Pittsburgh or spend a considerable amount of time on hip-hop blogs.
as far as 1…goes…
*hugs*
@Panama Jackson,
I’m from the DMV…sometimes I think only people from Maryland or Virginia say that because they have a DC state of mind, but they aren’t in DC. Ya dig?
I did come across Monsieur Khalifa on a hip hop blog, when that song Say Yeah came out.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
i enjoy watching wendy’s show too. but thats not a confession for me. most ppl know this about me.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
welcome and sh*t. and, ummm, are you from the burgh? asking because i would have bet my stimulus check that no woman outside of the pittsburgh metropolitan area has heard of that cat, including his family
@The Champ, i keep hearin about that cat from my burgh peeps but have no idea who he is.. supposedly hes coming up in the rap world? *shrugs*
@The Champ,
Actually I am from the DMV, but I heard his mixtape when it came out. I think he is alright, but his music sort of makes me laugh. I mean have you heard Hello Kitty (The Pill). And I find him adorable because he has huge lips. My definition of adorable btw, for future reference, is when a guy isn’t quite good looking, but he has some interesting feature like big eyes, long eyelashes, big lips, a mole the shape of africa, etc.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
a mole the shape of africa,
iDied.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco,
Let me take you to Flight School… I actually like a lot of his stuff… I’m from the DC area, just found him on one of my Hip-Hop blogs.
@TheTalentedMs.Fiasco, Wiz Khalifa is ADORABLE.
Okay…my confessions didn’t post and I’m not re-writing all that so…
1. Octo-lactose vegetarian for 10 years from age 8 to 18. Only stopped due to starvation in basic training.
2. No idea where I’m going with my future because I want to do everything…MPP, JD, MA in History, and MS in Biochemistry/Biomedical…and all around a military career. I got my BA from Rutgers driving an hour each way after work so I can do the rest too.
3. I wish I was back in Afghanistan everyday instead of in the United States. If I could deploy tomorrow I would. I rather be in the fight than here and doing nothing.
4. I hate being a homeowner. My neighbors keep bringing our property values down. A couple of weeks ago some people near the front of the neighborhood sold their house for $140,000…YOU B@ST@RDS! That is $100,000 less than what my home WAS worth! Worse, when I pulled in to the driveway today my neighbors across the street had a BULLDOZER driving OVER their fence to get to their backyard…WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU TWEEKIN METH HEADS DOING OVER THERE NOW!
4. My last serious boyfriend called me an emotionless robot just because after a year of dating on and off I wasn’t in love with him and could walk away with no hesitation. If we have two completely different views on life, goals, and no interests in common why are you so upset? I just value logic over emotions. I tell guys this from the get go…and I’m not an emotionless black-hole as some exes would claim. I tend to break men mentally, sexually, and emotionally…unintentionally and completely not my fault…I’m trying to be nicer…or something. The last few guys I’ve dated are still friends with me so something is working.
5. I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu…choking people out is so good for relaxing. I love when the guys strip down to roll (spar) more…they are so well built. I pinch their cheeks and tell them they are looking adorable today…in their little BJJ shorts
Umm…I think I over-shared
@Siobhan, You sound like an aquarius ma, I love the confessions!
@Myia J,
I’m a Virgo darling…but apparently I have Leo tendencies blending in…people with my bday are odd (Looking at MJ). The rest that didn’t post…I’ll save for next time LOL
@Siobhan,
Also
Hi, my name is Siobhan and I’m addicted to Twitter (/hipployta)
@Siobhan, I don’t think that makes you emotionless at all. It’s my experience that a lot of men assume that women are all these over emotional, logically scattered creatures. I think they walk into relationships thinking that the woman will be the one to, as they like to say, “catch feelings.” When she doesn’t, they tend to say she’s emotionless. Go figure.
@Hershey’s Kiss, If another man ever tells me again in life they dont want me to “catch feelings” I will cut them.
@Perdita, Oh I so feel you!! I have been talking about this all week cause hearing that just makes me want to karate chop a dude.
@Perdita,
Guys that say that are the FIRST to catch feelings in every situation…from what I’ve observed at least…judo hip toss!
@Hershey’s Kiss, Glad Im not the only one that has been told that I’m emotionless. I mean you can’t open yourself up to everybody you meet especially if you have only just met them. Am I supposed to fall in love with you after two dates.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
Yeah, I just think it’s stereotyping and call them on it…you can’t just give away places in your heart…that’s valuable real estate (one of the few remaining)
@Siobhan, that homeowner sh*t is that BS. wow…100k less?????
and um, while i understand your reasoning, on the list of places i never want to be…afghanistan is definitely in my top 1 or 3.
Haiti is currently my default number 1.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL @ a top 1 list
@Gem of the Ocean,
I’m trippin’ over that too. lol
@Panama Jackson,
Yeah…I talked to Bank of America today…I’m back up to 175,000! So, I’m only another 20,000 down on my mortgage.
A free confession: If I didn’t already have renters in place for when I move to Miami in April I was going to mail the bank the keys and tell them to have a nice day. I’m building my next house out of pocket when I”m 45…and married with kids. Yeah.
Free confession #2 Afghanistan while tough was much simpler. This desire to be there instead of here is supposedly somehow tied in with my PTSD diagnosis…whatever…my friends died there and I’d rather be working for what they died supporting
Haiti…I just tried to get on a trip for the relief effort but my old unit had plenty of volunteers and didn’t even look at my offer. My last assignment was a Contingency Response unit. They, and other units, previously responded to Katrina, the Tsunami, the Pakistani earthquake 05, and the various NEOs of American civilians. So going to places like that WAS my job. Some days I love being in the military.
@Siobhan,
i want to go to haiti. i feel much better being there helping out than sitting in my office updating the UN website and taking donations.
and speaking of donations someone donated 30,000 lbs of pork to haiti via our office. i would give my two cents on what i think of that donation but im trying to keep my job.
@Panama Jackson,
Ooooo Myyyyyy Gooood…
lmao…I am Haitian, I should NOT be laughing… but wow that was funny
@Siobhan,
To you second # 4….”I tend to break men mentally, sexually, and emotionally…unintentionally and completely not my fault…I’m trying to be nicer…or something. The last few guys I’ve dated are still friends with me so something is working.” I have the SAME problem/unique capability…are you a Scorpio?
Anywho I am going to have to try that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu on @ Panama..just kidding!Panama makes my day! But I do want to try it…i could use something to relieve my stress.
@IJstDntUnderstand,
I’m a Virgo…but we’re very logical…and know what we want LOL.
I love BJJ…aside from all the eye candy it’s fun. Who wouldn’t enjoy throwing someone across the room (judp-style) or on the mat into an arm bar (BJJ style). It just takes A LONG TIME to progress
@Siobhan,
I tend to break men mentally, sexually, and emotionally…unintentionally and completely not my fault
***filed under “things sammi sweetheart would say”***
@The Champ, Yes, she’s such a bitch. “You traumatized me Ronnie.” No he didn’t b*tch stop being dramatic.
@The Champ,
So…who is Sammi Sweetheart?
Free Confession: I’m a dom…and apparently I keep meeting subs…if you don’t understand I’m not going to explain.
@Siobhan,
Hah! I’m genuinely intrigued by you now. I wouldn’t mind picking your brain for a while.
@Shay,
Ha, the running joke in my office was that one of our guys working on his psych Ph.D should do his thesis on me…a mess LOL
@Shay,
Funny, I’m working on my PhD in psych too…
Thanks for your service by the by. If it wasn’t for the military (specifically the Marines), I would have stayed a twinkle in my father’s
chinkyeyes.@Shay,
Uh oh…someone to drag into my madness.
Thanks!
@Siobhan, Rear-naked Choke!!! UFC is my addiction.
@Manny,
I like UFC too. If you fight professionally and get tagged with a rear-naked choke I feel you need to take your ass back to the gym and work on you ground game SERIOUSLY. That’s like a beginner BJJ thing. I choke all the guys the first time I roll with them because they don’t expect it. It teaches them to never give up their back and always protect their necks even if your opponent is 100lbs lighter.
Love the post! Only fair to share along with you:
1. I enjoy my fair share of garbage tv and random ignent sh*t! Basically to co-sign with you(Panama) & Manny I am all up and through the Jersey Shore, ANTM, and anything else I can veg out and clown on. Some stuff I can’t hang with for too long…which leads me to Confession #2…
2. I watch TV and get embarrased for people and have to turn the channel real quick. Then I turn back because I’m nosy and want to know what the heyall happened. For example….Flava of Love, For the Love of Ray J, no talent SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance) & American Idol contestants, The Tyra Banks Show, and someone really playing themselves…..I may have to turn the channel real quick as I utter a “Heyall Naw!” then turn it back real quick. I feel embarrassed for them. Oh, and usually with the prior mentioned shows, I keep getting really embarrassed for them and just can’t watch the show at all. Flava of Love, For The Love of Ray J, and Tyra Banks…I usually can’t make it through an entire show.
3. If there is a contest or competition more often than not I am cheering for the black person, person of color, or brunette to do well. Yes, I definitely cheer for white, blonde people too, but hey…
4. Angelina Jolie looks weird to me and I think her and Madonna are succubi. *crackin’ up* Okay, not seriously. But if they had some young children or young men they were feeding off of in a basement, I wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t mean to be mean, but this is a confession.
5. Some Disney movies still make me cry. I did shed a tear in The Princess & The Frog. Don’t tell nobody…
@legitimate_soul, I cried at Princess & the Frog too so you’re not alone. I’ll do you one better and say that I think Disney movies are actually quite profound and capture the human condition really well. . . some of them at least.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
Agreed! Bambi is deep in addressing death with children and The Lion King is Hamlet:)
@legitimate_soul, Bambi is really a story about the hood…
@Panama Jackson,
I was around 6 yo when I watched Bambi, so educate me on this…
@Hershey’s Kiss, first of all Disney is the DEVIL….
but i too cry at Bambi, Fox and the Hound, Princess and the Frog, and many other damn them bast@rds unveiling my outer thug
@legitimate_soul, Literally LOL. I totally co-sign #2. It’s just painful to watch sometimes. If I’m at someone else’s house I turn away fromt he tv and cringe.
And #3, I feel like they’re the underdog, which is also kind of wrong. UFC fights I always go for the brown guy or the one with tattoos with no thought to age, reach, or previous wins..
@Manny,
Exactly!
@legitimate_soul,
“I did shed a tear in The Princess & The Frog. Don’t tell nobody…”
Me too! I thought i was the only one! I had some sort of fondness towards lil ol’lightbug Ray and when he died i started to get that tight feelin in the back of my throat!
@legitimate_soul, “I watch TV and get embarrased for people and have to turn the channel real quick. Then I turn back because I’m nosy and want to know what the heyall happened. ”
Oh em gee, I do this too!
@legitimate_soul,
@#2. I do that all the time. I don’t know why, but I think your reasoning explains why I do it.
@legitimate_soul,
Word @ #5. Eff you, The Fox and the Hound! Eff you! *sobbing*
But yeah, I’m a sap with movies anyway. My tear ducts could make me hood rich if I got a dollar for each tear…
@legitimate_soul, when I watched game shows as a kid, it seemed that white women always won. So I rooted for men and non-whites.
@legitimate_soul, OMG I cried in the Princess and the Frog too! I felt like such a punk….I thought it might be linked to the recent demise of a relationship making me overly emotional though
1. I had an interview at our corporate office. I totally sideswiped this car in the parking lot and kept going. I was in my husbands car cause I lost my keys and to this day he thinks someone side swiped him
2. I love the taylor swift fearless cd. I pulled up to my girls house in the hood with it playing loud and almost got into a fight cause ninjas was like what is that gay a.s.s shyt…lol and I was like some shyt yo momma like
3. I swag surf at the club
4. I have a tatoo on my hip that I got from a crackhead…lol I brought my own needles .and truth b told its probably .the best of all 4 tats….
5 I use to think pecan was spelled ba-con …yeah
@shay-d-lady, Side note:I recently learned if you say “beer can” with a british accent it sounds like “bacon” with a jamaican accent.
@Manny, I don’t know if I am more upset that you figured this out, or that I sat here saying beer can and bacon in the two accents and confirming your discovery! LOL!
@Manny,
LOLOLOL wowsers
@Manny, LMAO…I just sat here and confirmed it too
@shay-d-lady,
I know this is sposed to be fun, but I’m FURIOUS with you for the swag-surfin! Don’t tell nobody else, k?
And dyin’ laughin’ at the crackie tat that’s the best of ‘em all!
@bittersweet’s baby, girl dont be furious.. I swag and I surf..
I also my dougie, my fresh
and Stanky leg…
LMAO
@shay_d_lady, dis must be a southern thang cuz I on’t play when swag surffin come on- lol
@shay-d-lady,
“I have a tatoo on my hip that I got from a crackhead”
please tell me you just sayed that for comic relief
@sisanda, sadly no,
It is the truth.
Crackhead johnny did my hip tatt.
he is renowned in norf memphis for his work…
however I had 2 friends that went with me.
now if you know anything you know you cant let a crackhead tattoo artist “make a run” and come back and do your tat…
sadly my last friend was not aware and ended up with a tattoo of tennessee that looked like
gilbert arenas’ finger gun…
@shay_d_lady, Oh, you are KILLING me. LMBAO!!!
@shay-d-lady, 4. I have a tatoo on my hip that I got from a crackhead…lol I brought my own needles .and truth b told its probably .the best of all 4 tats….
and this is why you need a reality show.
@Panama Jackson, and this is why you need a reality show.
why for doing stuff every hood person does? LOL Johnny probably tatted ever person in North Memphis, Tn
@shay-d-lady,
LMMFAO, OMG, & WTF @ 4. I have a tatoo on my hip that I got from a crackhead…lol I brought my own needles .and truth b told its probably .the best of all 4 tats….
@shay-d-lady,
2. I love the taylor swift fearless cd. I pulled up to my girls house in the hood with it playing loud and almost got into a fight cause ninjas was like what is that gay a.s.s shyt…lol and I was like some shyt yo momma like
and this is why vsb loves shay-d-lady
@shay-d-lady, I have a tattoo on my shoulder that was done by a tatted up Mexican gangsta I met in the supermarket….It came out nice….
“the Great Watermelon Fiasco of 1994.”
Will I be a disappointment to the Black community if I confess not knowing anything about this?
“I used to take the wings and hid them behind a bookcase in my house”
Why do little boys do this [hide food in weird places]?
“My boy Tray…told The Fugitive to clap.”
*smh* I just died.
“I walked around smelling like potpourri for a week.”
Tears are literally streaming from my eyes from how hard I’m laughing at this…
thanx.
Panama, do you watch The Young & The Restless??
@Made In Hawaii, “the Great Watermelon Fiasco of 1994.”
Will I be a disappointment to the Black community if I confess not knowing anything about this?
i dont even know what this is.
and no, i dont watch daytime soaps. my mother ruined them for me when she picked All My Children over her own children one day and forgot me at day care.
@Panama Jackson, “my mother ruined them for me when she picked All My Children over her own children one day and forgot me at day care.”
CODE BLUE!
someone please come resuscitate me, Im dead
@Panama Jackson, ok, you know what…
I cannot read your posts at work anymore. DEAD.
I need a tissue….OMG.
@ legitimate soul I do that embarrasment thing too! my husband thinks I’m crazy but I can’t help it!.
1.My confession:I just gave myself the business with the rabbit.The battery died in the middle of the act and I took apart every remote control until I found a battery with enough energy to finish the job. I felt like a crack head who needed that one hit, I messed my house up trying to find one AA battery….. *dont judge me, lol*
@Jamaicangirl,
I salute your resourcefulness…
@Jamaicangirl,
No judgement here! ^5!
@Jamaicangirl,
LMFAO…”i need this, i need this, please work..please work..pretty pleeeeeeeeaaase..thank GAAaaaawd!!!”
@Jamaicangirl,
I laugh because I have done this before.
@Jamaicangirl,
You know I’m not judging because I’ve been there!!! I think one time I took the emergency back up batteries out of my alarm clock.
Get ‘er done!!!!!
@Jamaicangirl,
Hahaha! Don’t feel bad, I’ve done this, too! Gotta do what you gotta do…
@Jamaicangirl, i’d say thats TMI, but this is the Confessions post…LOL.
@Jamaicangirl,
lmao best. confession. today. (so far lol)
holla!!
@Jamaicangirl,
Happy Friday!
@Jamaicangirl, LOL I’ve had that sicha-ation a couple times muhself
also LOL at “get ‘er done” we say that all the time at my job its like a running joke
@Jamaicangirl, If there was a VSB award for comment of the day/week/decade/year, this would be it
note to Champ, PanDman and Liz…. you should do a comment of the day/week yeah cause y’all have nothing else to do
@Jamaicangirl,
We’ve all been there…. It’s understandable.
@Jamaicangirl, O>>>M>>>G
Bonus: Once we were cleaning my boys house (me, The Fugitive, and my boy Tray) and Tray and Mike got into an argument because The Fugitive said he could do anything we could do better. My boy Tray…told The Fugitive to clap.
Game. Set. Match.
DESPICAIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! and yet, I can’t stop laughing at it….am I going to h*ll? (Precious! Precious! Sityoassdown!!!!!)
Confessions?
1.) I didn’t like greens until I was an adult – as a kid? HATED IT!
2.) I frequently have to use Urban Dictionary to translate things on this website and a couple others. My last query? 2520 a few months ago, when the Miss (2520) Hampton happened.
3.) My freshman year of high school (OK and 1st Semester Sophomore year) I was really, REALLY into alternative music. The Verve, Matchbox 20, Marcy’s Playground, etc. The Slim Shady LP saved my life and musical tastes.
4.) The Gremlins and ET frightened me as a child and I still refuse to watch those movies.
That’s what I got, and I’m still laughing about The Fugitive not being able to clap….am I going to h*ll? I really don’t want to!
@Madame Zenobia,
5.) I read Bossip daily and feel dirty doing…but I can’t turn away.
@Madame Zenobia,
I also had to look up 2520 lol
@GEELA, So I really did not know what 2520 was and I saw it in several articles here so I went to urban dictionary and looked it up.
@Madame Zenobia,
Gremlins & E.T. frightened me terribly as well and still does (but I absolutely heart WALL-E which my sister says is just a robotic E.T. *shrug*). That big flying dog in The Neverending Story scared/scares me too. Guess, those are three movies I’ll never see and I don’t mind.
@Made In Hawaii,
I loved Falcor from Never Ending story! Posh Spice resembles him. Truth.
@legitimate_soul, YES!!!!!! I thought I was the only one that noticed that…..
@legitimate_soul, yeah Posh and Drake
@Yeah…SO?!,
Dang! I knew it was something familiar about Drake! You just made me google images of both of them (Falcor and Drake), tab them side by side, switch back and forth and giggle loudly.
@Madame Zenobia,
oh cummon now there’s nothing wrong with Alternative Music, you should really REALY give it a revisit there’s some sick tunes out now.
@sisanda,
I concur.
@Madame Zenobia, I’m still into alternative music…and now rock as well. Gets me the side-eye on dates.
@Caballeroso, you need better dates
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Word. Life.
I am into good music…doesn’t matter which form.
@Madame Zenobia, 3.) My freshman year of high school (OK and 1st Semester Sophomore year) I was really, REALLY into alternative music. The Verve, Matchbox 20, Marcy’s Playground, etc. The Slim Shady LP saved my life and musical tastes.
shoot, i STAY on alternative music. hell, i actually listen to more alternative music at this point than i do hiphop. jazz, emo, soul music (70s and before), 80s synth era…hell, i even love johnny cash.
@Madame Zenobia,
3.) My freshman year of high school (OK and 1st Semester Sophomore year) I was really, REALLY into alternative music. The Verve, Matchbox 20, Marcy’s Playground, etc. The Slim Shady LP saved my life and musical tastes.
That is all good music. That late 90s alternative was some good s**t. Oddly, a lot of black folks like that kind of music from that particular period.
@ComicBookGuy,
We was all watching MTV right along with BET. So I knew Nirvana and Alice In Chains just as well as I knew Biggie and Tupac.
Lots of folks like to front like they weren’t jammin’ “Rooster” though…lmao Shoot that isht knocks.
@miss t-lee,
You are so right. “Heart Shaped Box” is my s**t. That song is deep. RIP Kurt Cobain.
@Madame Zenobia, My daughter had me hooked on Evanescence! I ain’t mad.
I too am a reality TV watcher. I found it really got me through the days after my dad died. It was just really nice to watch other people’s nonsense and now I’m just hooked.
When I was about 11 my dad worked for Wonder Bread and had to wear these awful polyester pants that he dubbed “Ball Busters.” Well I would call myself helpful and iron his uniforms for him so one day I did and I was all to happy to inform him, “Hey Dad, I ironed all your Ball Busters for you!” He asked me what I said and I happily repeated. He and his friends chuckled on that one for weeks. Sadly I didn’t realize why until about my sophomore year in college.
I failed my driver’s license exam twice before I received my license. And let me clarify, twice in one day . But now I’m a really good driver (said in my best Rain Man voice)
I think my ex husband is a total tool because he’s proven that he is time and time again. Yet I still feel guilty for thinking he’s one. Go figure.
I’ll take legitimate soul’s one step further again and say that I think both Angelina Jolie and Erykah Badu are some type of voodoo priestess vixen robots from outer space. I’ve never seen two creepy women gain the affections of (random) dudes and turn them into whatever they want them to be. They definitely must add a little extra something something to the spaghetti . . .
Once in school some boys asked me if I’d had my cherry popped. I had no idea what they were talking about so my response was “I don’t even like cherries.” Ah well . . .
@Hershey’s Kiss,
Once in school some boys asked me if I’d had my cherry popped. I had no idea what they were talking about so my response was “I don’t even like cherries.” Ah well . . .
LMFAO…
@Hershey’s Kiss, I failed my driver’s license exam twice before I received my license. And let me clarify, twice in one day . But now I’m a really good driver (said in my best Rain Man voice)
i failed my driver’s test once…but the problem is, i had been driving by myself, with my parents permission for over 6 months at that point. like i used to just come and go as i pleased when i was 15. then i failed the test. my dad was like, ‘lil ni**a, you ain’t learn SH*T all them months by yourself!?!”
@Panama Jackson, i failed my sriving test once but because I ran two stop signs.
It was also the summer between my freshman and sophomore year in college, I had just turned 18
@Hershey’s Kiss,
What you know about spaghetti additives?!
Fine… If we are confessing about TV shows… I watch Grey’s Anatomy every week there I said it
I would like to tell people that I’m an exercise science major and the medicine aspect of it interests me and well, that’s true and all, but still not an excuse I just happen to like the show
Oh and I’m not too fond of strip clubs. Just don’t see the point of paying women to send me home unsatisfied
For the most part I like romantic comedies and the corny love songs that go along with them. For that matter I am a hopeless romantic, always have been and that’s enough confessing
@A-Town Genius, I, too, watch Grey’s Anatomy (and Private Practice) but, it’s only to see how many unrealistic medical occurrences I can recognize (that’s my “official” reason anyway).
Ditto on the strip club…but I don’t let that stop me from going once or twice per year. I have to go to reaffirm that I’m not fond of them.
@A-Town Genius, i LOVE romantic comedies.
i actually OWN such romantic comedies as Sweet Home Alabama, The Holiday, You’ve Got Mail, etc…
i buy sh*t.
@Panama Jackson, I recommend Love Actually. It’s actually good.
@Manny,
I downloaded Love Actually and I did actually like it. Don’t tell nobody
How can you not like chicken wings?
*screw face*
1) I tear up sometimes when I watch “Say Yes To The Dress”, I just get so happy for them.
2) When I was in 8th grade I use to have a major crush on UK “Trip-Hop” artist “Tricky”. (If you don’t know him, the man looks like one of the creatures off of District 9)
3) I watch Porn…….alot
4) I was kinda involved in a car theft in 7th grade.
@Misty Knight, How can you not like chicken wings?
*screw face*
OK… EVERYBODY loves chicken wangs!
@Yeah…SO?!, except me. theory dissolved.
@Misty Knight,
2) When I was in 8th grade I use to have a major crush on UK “Trip-Hop” artist “Tricky”. (
LMAO!!!! this is a hella confession.
Dayum.
@Misty Knight,
OOooooh, I still think Tricky is hot as h**l. One of my good friends borrowed the Blowback CD and misplaced…..words were exchanged. I think his voice (deep and gruttal) just ups his fine factor by 10 to the nth power.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I was about to ask where is ofloveandotherdemons? Lol! Because I still find him kinda hot… must have to do with the tatoos or the overall attitude or the music… Me no know.
“My boy Tray…told The Fugitive to clap.”
I’m still laughing at this.
Um, confessions.
1. I’ve done some less than deplorable things in the hacking department to a certain lady who I credit for the demise of my parent’s marriage.
2. I used to want to be a Maxim model, simply because I thought that even without DD’s, I was hotter than every girl in the magazine. I’ve since changed my mind of wanting to do pinup, but I still think I’m hotter than those chicks. Just Saying.
3. I’m secretly a gamer. I’m just too broke to upgrade from my Xbox. That and my brothers hid GTA and Halo from me. Buttmunches. At least I learned how to win by sniping in Call of Duty.
4. I secretly eat massive amounts of junk food when nobody’s looking. Just yesterday, I engulfed half a package of oreos, complete with milk. The first half was eaten the day before. I also can finish off a box of Cheez-its in one sitting. And I eat Nutella out of the jar. Let us not talk about my fascination with Chicken in a Biscuit (one of my favorite snack foods ever!). I’m not even a carb person. But man, put a bag of jalepeno Cheetos in front of me, and I’m game.
Ok, enough confessions for the day.
@chaoticdiva,
Don’t worry I sometimes eat Goober Grape straight out of the jar when there isn’t enough left in the jar for that last sandwich. And when I was younger I used to mix peanut butter and jelly in a bowl and just eat it like that
@chaoticdiva, “I secretly eat massive amounts of junk food when nobody’s looking. Just yesterday, I engulfed half a package of oreos, complete with milk. The first half was eaten the day before.”
I do this! I had two WHOLE candybars at work yesterday (don’t tell nobody)
Confessions of a Negro:
1. About hiding food around the house, when I was a kid I’d keep the claws from crab legs in my dresser.
2. I do not like hot sauce. Never have.
Bonus story: 3-4 years ago, my cousin took me & my brother to this spot in Cleveland called Hot Sauce Williams. I ordered my food with, you guessed it, no hot sauce. I swear the music stopped, the rain outside stopped, and everyone from my brother to the girl that took our order to the fried-ass chickens in the bag gave me the same “What the F*CK???” look.
3. My deodorant of choice is Secret. It lasts much longer – girls must have some funky armpits. To deter weird looks from the cashier, I always buy it with gender-neutral household items (ie. toilet paper, mouthwash, cocoa butter, etc.) that makes it look like someone just asked me to pick up some deodorant while I’m out.
4. Two years ago, I tried dipping tobacco at the behest of my college roommate. It was literally the worst experience of my entire life, and something I’ll never do again under any circumstances. How ridiculous is seeing Black man watch the Stanley Cup with a lip of tobacco?
5. I watch hockey, seriously. I’m not from a frozen state. I can’t even rollerskate worth a damn, let alone ice skate. But I love the Capitals and religiously follow the NHL. Think how most Black people are towards the NBA and the NHL; I’m the opposite. In fact, Joe Sakic is the sole reason I bought the only pair of FILAs I’ve ever owned in my life circa 1995.
6. I did not eat apples for YEARS because I thought the seeds in the core were turds. When you’re a kid, anything small and brown = sh*t.
7. I’ve never gone out of my way to go to a concert. I’ve been to exactly four in my life, the first was when I was a freshman in college, and all of them were free and/or on campus (but I would definitely have paid for The Roots).
@P.,
#2 should have been number 1 for me. I’m the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. I almost NEVER can just order something at a restaurant without asking for it to be altered in some way. I don’t eat condiments AT ALL. NO ketchup, mustard, mayo, salad dressing, nothing whatsoever. My friends ridicule me endlessly for this every single time we go out to eat. I’m the worse I promise. So yeah I don’t eat hot sauce either. I also have nightmares of going to Philly one day and being forced to go to a Philly Steak spot and being the guy that orders his with no onions or peppers. That shall be a shameful day for sure.
@A-Town Genius,
I only eat a few condiments (Old Bay, BBQ sauce, mambo sauce, pepper, honey), and I always alter menu items.
I get especially bothered when people don’t get the meaning of “plain.” If I say “plain bacon cheeseburger,” they’ll be like “Sooo… no bacon?” Yes I want bacon you dumbass, otherwise I would not have asked for a BACON cheeseburger. Plain means don’t give me any of the sh*t that’s not in the title of the item.
@P.,
That bothers the hell out of me also. It happens often enough that I have to make it clear I still want the cheese and bacon or whatever which usually earns me a go to hell look but the one time I don’t is the one time I get a hamburger patty with no bun.
@A-Town Genius, Wow i’m almost as picky as you! My friends ridicule me every time we go out to eat…I don’t eat most condiments…(but I do like ketchup and barbecue sauce so you’ve got me beat)… I don’t like rice….and I have to alter almost everything I order anywhere I go. I wrote a blog post about this on my blog a while back…there should be a support group for picky eaters.
@A-Town Genius, Oh and I forgot I have the same shame about ordering a philly steak in Philly because I won’t eat one with onions or peppers either….wow!
@P.,
I watch hockey, seriously. I’m not from a frozen state.
I’m from a frozen state and I don’t watch hockey however, CONFESSION: I do follow NASCAR. I dig it, a friend of mine got me into a few years ago and I really like it. I know, I know, but I do. Smoke, Jr., Martin are some of my favorites – eff Jimmy Johnson though!
Also, I’m not a big NBA fan either. I like certain players but past that I don’t see the point of watching an NBA game before the play-offs. Same with college, I follow it, but I don’t get into it until March. Though regular season games aren’t so bad in person. Man, that feels good to confess.
@P., You are a funny mofo: LMAO
“when I was a kid I’d keep the claws from crab legs in my dresser.”- kill yo’self
“I did not eat apples for YEARS because I thought the seeds in the core were turds. When you’re a kid, anything small and brown = sh*t.”- resurrect and kill yo’self again
and #2- smh… I’m not judgin.
@P.,
My deodorant of choice is Secret. It lasts much longer – girls must have some funky armpits.
Yeah, Secret is pretty good, but you walk around smelling powder fresh all day. I ran out of deod. once and had to use some of my Mom’s Secret…had me questioning my manhood througout the day, like “ain’t no grown man s’posed to smell like summer’s eve”.lol
@DG,
“had me questioning my manhood througout the day, like “ain’t no grown man s’posed to smell like summer’s eve”.lol”
lmao.
I only started using it when I went to my sister’s house and forgot to bring deodorant. She let me use hers and didn’t want it back, so I just used it til it ran out, and was like damn this sh*t ain’t bad at all.
@P., #5, I was never a hockey fan until I went to a hockey game. When I lived in Florida, my boss was co-owner of the Florida Panthers, he gave us tickets to all the games, OMG…too much fun!!!! And the foghorn when a goal is scored? AWESOME!!!! Now that I live in the “A”, I try to catch a few Thrashers games.
@Complex Simplicity,
Thrasher’s games are hella fun… Esp when a fight breaks out, LOL… I just go with a group of friends so I don’t feel like a lone raisin in a bowl of milk
@Complex Simplicity,
When the Caps score, we play sirens.
Sirens.
I feel it reflects the city very well.
@P., I don’t even know where to begin here.
The Secret shit slayed me. Actually so did the hot sauce thing.
Re Secret though, a couple of years ago, i went to Best Buy to buy Hillary Duff’s album. yes that was my SOLE reason for going. but i got shook when it was time to get in line that somebody would see me. so i went and picked up the Pitch Black CD (which was terrible) just to offset it. I figured i could pretend that CD was for me and the Hillary duff was for my daughter or niece or something. but the cashier saw thru my soul and clowned me anyway.
@Panama Jackson,
“so i went and picked up the Pitch Black CD (which was terrible)”
That album was terrible. But that song “It’s All Real”(shout out to Premier) is one of my favorite songs of all time. I bought that wack album 1st day it dropped off the strength of that song.
@Panama Jackson,
“but the cashier saw thru my soul and clowned me anyway.”
lmao
@P.,
LOL @ #3. love it
@P.,
Hockey is one of those sports if you actually go to a game, it will change your entire perspective on the game. The atmosphere is amazing. I grew up in Dallas and when the Stars won the Stanley Cup, the city was buzzing and we went back to the Finals the next year. You actually have youth hockey leagues in Dallas, Texas now. Hockey tickets are cheap and actually make for a good night out. Plus, Gretzky is the s**t.
@P.,
“3. My deodorant of choice is Secret. It lasts much longer – girls must have some funky armpits. To deter weird looks from the cashier, I always buy it with gender-neutral household items (ie. toilet paper, mouthwash, cocoa butter, etc.) that makes it look like someone just asked me to pick up some deodorant while I’m out.”
Funny thing is, I wear men’s deodorant for the same reasons…
@Happy Meal,
Exactly. Give me Degree or Gilette any day.
@P.,
“Confessions of a Negro”
this would definitely be the title if i ever wrote an autobio
I didn’t see Friday until last year…. but my mother was super protective of what I saw on TV/ in the movie theater. I didn’t watch cable until I got to college. I’m trying to catch up though… I just saw House Party last week.
I don’t like Watermelon, Fried Chicken, or Kool-Aid. I don’t know. I like chicken, and I’ll eat the fried chicken without the skin… but Kool-Aid reminds me of Jello before you put it in the fridge, and Jello is just nasty. Everyone else in my family likes these things, Idk I’m Black, I swear.
I schedule around For the Love of Ray-J, Jersey Shore, and I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. (How do you not know you’re pregnant? The best ones are the ones when they have twins.. worst surprise ever. )
I didn’t know what “Getting Head” was until I heard Shawnna’s “Gettin’ Some Remix”. I figured it was something phallic, but I never paid attention until I listened to the lyrics of this song. Shawnna is soooo classy.
I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 20. But I lied and told him that I’d had many kisses and boyfriends before then. Little did he know that just 2 years before I was 100lbs heavier with thick glasses and a unibrow haha. High school. I’m sexy now though. Holla.
I’m 23 and addicted to Farmville on Facebook. Don’t judge me. All your friends are playing too. My farm is poppin’.
@SuperDee,
I hate jello
sans the vodkaand Kool-Aid, which is due to a minor obsession with grape camp kool-aid. But yea, I don’t touch the stuff. I also won’t eat Watermelon, peanut butter, jelly, raisins (I’m afraid of the little stems in my mouth), lima beans, and non-filet fish.I’m addicted to Mafia Wars and I’m a 23 year old who still doesn’t know what “necking” is, nor can differentiate between First and Third base. I have yet to see plenty of classic movies, and I just learned who the h*ll J Holiday was last week. The only thing keeping me from getting my black card revoked is my extra mixed up heritage and the fact I’m from the middle of nowhere.
So, by all means, don’t feel bad.
@SuperDee, I love Jersey Shore. lol
@SuperDee, I just saw House Party last week.
this aint my confession, but i was watching Skillz Hip-Hop Confessions yesterdary and did you all know that House Party was originally writen for Will and Jazz??? it was part of a settlement deal when they got sued for using “nightmare on elm street” music for their song “nightmare on my street” they got sued and new line cinema had that movie written so they could recoup the money thru ticket sales.
@SuperDee,
“I’m 23 and addicted to Farmville on Facebook. Don’t judge me. All your friends are playing too. My farm is poppin’.”
I used to play them type of games addictively on Shockwave.com. I haven’t tried the Farmville or that Chef one yet (the latte rof which I’ll probably love…I used play all those foodie games like Diner Dash and ish). It’s this one chick that plays Farmville during her lunch hour at work. That ish never fails. Every dayum day. lol
Yes! I’ve never seen Jurassic Park either… I’ve gotten by, by seeing small clips. I always seem like I know what I’m talking about when it comes up in convo lol.
1. Once in 5th grade I farted during movie time (It was rly loud, and all the 5th grade classes were in attendance). I immediately yelled “Eww Eric you farted gross”, from then on he was known as the kid who farted during movie time… FOREVER!!
2. I use to think when white people dropped a deuce that their poop was white also. I couldn’t wrap my brain around something brown coming out of a white ass. LMAO iCan’t with myself sometimes… I was 9.
3. My ex probably thinks he’s the best I’ve ever had, due to the amount of times I’ve faked orgasms. Took everything I had in me not to bring it up during arguments.
4. I still dance (like the girls in the video) to Juvenile’s “Back that ass” video whenever it comes on. No one knows….
Okay I’m done. That last one is making me reevaluate my life.
@GEELA,
“1. Once in 5th grade I farted during movie time (It was rly loud, and all the 5th grade classes were in attendance). I immediately yelled “Eww Eric you farted gross”, from then on he was known as the kid who farted during movie time… FOREVER!! “
That’s soooooo fukd up but I’m LMAO @ it!!!
@Made In Hawaii,
That is phukd up…but hilarious…poor Eric he was was probably like “It wasn’t me, i swear…here smell me”
@GEELA, #2- bwahahahaha
F*ck it, it’s not like I know y’all so:
(1) My parents being the stern Jamaicans they are never let me go on sleepovers. Never. Until one day in 3rd grade when the mother of an incredibly overweight 3rd grade girl from Eastern Europe (Russia?) convinced my parents to let me sleep over. Long story short, the girl convinced me to sleep in bed with her with nothing but my underwear on, and then convinced me that we should both take our underwear off and inspect each other. The embarrassing fact: from 3rd grade through 5th grade I was tormented because I thought touching each other’s privates made me (and that chick) the only non-virgin’s in my elementary school.
(2) In high school I had a little kleptomaniac streak that ended when I stole my friend’s share of what we stole together (plus some of his personal property). Side funny story, I was in a 7-11 listening to the manager tell the story of how he caught a dumb @ss kid who was picking up a bunch of candy and food, who then tried to walk out the store like he didn’t touch anything. So what did I do? I picked up two of everything, put one back, and walked out while the manager was still boasting.
(3) After soccer practice one day, my parents were late picking me up, and some other kids were waiting too, including the kid who only made the team because his dad was the coach the year before. A bunch of us kept spitting on him, but he couldn’t tell because it was pouring out. [Wow, that story seemed a lot less evil before I typed it].
(4) One drunk morning in college I took the parking ticket off someone’s car and ripped it up just because.
(5) I usually know how & why I’m going to break up with someone (if it gets serious) after the first date.
(6) I ALWAYS think intelligent people are joking when they tell me they believe in g-d. No seriously. If I find someone to be normal and coherent, I will grin and change the subject thinking they’re trying to play me for a fool.
(7) etc etc (wow, this became less about cleansing and more about finding new ways to hate myself.) I’m a better person now, I swear. Oh, and I hid my food under the cushions we used to be able to reach the table.
@An Island,
First and foremost, that shyt was hilarious as f*K
# 1 LMFAO…where were you two when i was in Grade 3, do you know what a threesome would’ve done to my self-esteem?
# 2 Aww please everyone had a klepto streak, mine stopped the day i got caught, spent the whole day crouched behind the counter as the shop manager told everyone about what i done, then got a pardon at close of business…i sayed F*k this.
# 3 i”ll save you a suite in hell
# 6 Me too, you know what even makes less sense to me, Pro-black activist typed christians…i’m like whaa?
Nice post
@sisanda,
I don’t know if I could live with the guilt of having a “threesome” in 3rd grade. I’d probably have told my mom, and then I would’ve had to spend every weekend at my grand-aunt’s church, which lasted for 6 hours (no seriously, I went once, got bored, fell asleep, woke up, ate a snack, and still had like 3 hours left to go. Oh, and at some point they cut off a chicken’s head. Needless to say, me and my brother never willingly went back to visit her.).
Anyway, I’m ready for you now though, sisanda.
@An Island, pretty sure sisanda is a dude.
@Panama Jackson, that’s the same thing I was thinking… aaawwkkwaarrd!- lol
@Panama Jackson,
Ha, yeah, I just commented below after reading HIS post (the, “I like my friend’s mom,” part of his post was incredibly sexy, then incredibly disturbing when the light finally went on.
If I weren’t so skilled at making an @ss of myself, that might register as terribly embarrassing. I’m over it.
@Panama Jackson
And when I think “threesome” it’s always of the girl, girl, An Island variety. Giving high fives to some dude while tag teaming a chick is not high on my list of things to do.
@An Island, LOL- awww pumpkin it’s a mistake anyone could have made… *side eye* (hee hee)
@An Island,
Add: “I mistakenly hit on a guy named Sisanda on an online message board” to my list of embarrassing confessions (I blame my years of spanish class for that. And the fact that mostly women post here). Ugh.
Good thing I read all the threads today, because that’s could’ve been one of those sitcom-level awkward misunderstandings. I can see it now:
[Standing at the VSB 2010 BBQ]
An Island: Yeah, anyone know if Sisanda is here, I got something for that @ss.
VSS1: Uh, I think the person you’re looking for is over there.
VSS2: [To Sisanda] My friend tells me an Island is looking for you.
Sisanda: Ugh, that guy has been trying to get me naked for months. That’s not my style. NTTAWT.
[While trying to make his was over to a cute VSS, An Island bumps into Sisanda by mistake.]
An Island: Sorry, buddy, I sometimes lose focus when I see something I like.
Sisanda: [Punches An Island in the face.]
[Commercial Break]
@An Island, pretty good… you’re going places kid- off the top of my head, the hospital if you keep hitting on VSBs- badum pssh!
@Yeah…SO?!,
If they have a “Confessions Friday, Vol 2, Dumbest Shyt You’ve Ever Done/Said” I don’t know if this would even make the list. I have a gift for pulling off incredibly stupid.
@An Island,
LMAO thats more likely to happen at the POTUS Inauguration of Gem of the Ocean before a VSB bbq
@Gem of the Ocean,
Zing!
@An Island,
Already forgotten man…just keep movin, don’t ever mention it again. (if white folk can get over slavery, i’m sure two grown ass men, who hit on each other on a social networking site can deal)
I went on my first date/had my first kiss when I was 18
I was in a wedding when I was 12 and got too close to the bride’s wedding dress with a candle and accidently burned a part of her dress during the ceremony
I like Miley Cyrus’s song Party in the US
I loved scary movies as a kid but they scare me as an adult
I put on a tough front when it comes to love, but I’m really sappy inside and cry during movies/commercials
@Leila,
I loved scary movies as a kid but they scare me as an adult
I put on a tough front when it comes to love, but I’m really sappy inside
^Yup! I can read a horror novel before seeing the film. I’m an adult and I know more, so its more terrifying. I still loves sci-fi and I so wanna see ‘Legion’. See I can do that, but not ‘Saw’.
Ditto on the tough front and the sappy:)
@Leila, I was in a wedding when I was 12 and got too close to the bride’s wedding dress with a candle and accidently burned a part of her dress during the ceremony
man…what a way to lose a dress. hope it wasnt a rental.
and i like miley cyrus too.
Dear Panama Dontravious Jackson,
Despite your inhumane treatment of The Fugitive and other heinous crimes against womanhood, the fact that share my love affair with Reality TV overrides it all —-> I ♥ U!
(This is my confession.)
XOXO
bb
@bittersweet’s baby,
You know his a 3 right?
I’m not hatin, Juss sayin
@sisanda, im the sexxiest 3 ever though dammit.
@bittersweet’s baby, awww…thank you..boo.
1. I cannot watch The Color Purple all the way through. Danny Glover played that role too well.
2. I’m in grad school and think of myself as a bit of a feminist, but sometimes I wish someone would come along, snatch the book out of my hand, crush my glasses under his loafers and…take care of me *gasp*.
3. I can’t dance with white guys at the club. I just see “Massah” trying to hit. One time I felt someone come up behind me with that special hello, so I turned around and saw this little white man with curly blonde hair…don’t know what kind of expression I had on my face, but he backed away with his hands up muttering “damn.” I’m working on this one though!
@Acacia,
You probably gave him the I-just-had-an-abortion-and-that motherf*n-hoover-left-with-cramps look
@Acacia,
Ironically, any dude wearing loafers is NOT likely to snatch you up and knock it out the box… And since I’ve got a thing for cute chicks with glasses, I’d be unlikely to crush them under my feet. But since my first “piece” (if you will) was in my 8th grade year IN THE LIBRARY of my middle school, I got no qualms about “gettin’ it in” in the reference section. /end confession
@Acacia,
I thought it was just me w/the no white dudes dance policy.
I’m always thinking that they’re great great great grand-daddy raped my great great great grand mommy, and I just can’t do it.
I was talking to my White homeboy today and mentioned that I read VSB (because the Champ wrote a post on a link I posted, that the homie had actually sent me)…he not only KNEW the site offhand…but he quoted Panama Jackson as being one of the smartest people he knows personally. Go figure….shouts to Milo.
@Jasi B.,
no kidding
@Jasi B., not the homey Milo. small small world. that’s my boy. plus he used to put me up on dope new music (including his own stuff) that i’d never hear on my own.
@Jasi B.,
because the Champ wrote a post on a link I posted, that the homie had actually sent me
what post was this?
So…
1. I don’t like chicken much…when I was younger my mum would get mad at me because I would leave meat on the bone. My best friends refuse to serve me chicken nowadays :/
2. I’m scared that I’m going to be like Kenya in Something New, except without anyone in the end. I’m only 22, so perhaps that’s premature…
3.I’ve never seen:Titanic, The Color Purple, Roots, or Jurassic Park…
4. I always try to the dance the girls do in the Yeah video and fail. Epically. My friends say it’s because I don’t have a booty, I think I just haven’t practised enough
5.I miss black people. After going to predominantly white schools all my life and finally making black friends in college, I thought I’d be cool living in France without seeing melanin. Turns out I’m not.
6. Blame it on the Texas in me, but I love cowboys. and country music. I can sing most George Strait and Johnny Cash songs at the drop of the hat and will do.
7. I get offended when people don’t think I’m as nerdy as I am.
@KayBeezy,
“6. Blame it on the Texas in me, but I love cowboys. and country music. I can sing most George Strait and Johnny Cash songs at the drop of the hat and will do.”
*daps for the Texas in us*
@miss t-lee,
i stans for Johnny Cash. I remember when I worked at target we had just gotten a new older 2520 for a team leader and i came in one day humming “Ring of Fire” he outright asked me did I know who sang that song. I had to school him on some J. Cash that he didn’t know about
@the girl,
That’s great. I have a homeboy who loves Johnny so much that his newborn son’s name is Cash.
@KayBeezy, 4. I always try to the dance the girls do in the Yeah video and fail. Epically. My friends say it’s because I don’t have a booty, I think I just haven’t practised enough
do you have a booty?
@KayBeezy,
The Man in Black is the bomb. Cash was edgy and wasn’t too country. Much love from a Texan. Hold it down in France.
@KayBeezy,
5.I miss black people. After going to predominantly white schools all my life and finally making black friends in college, I thought I’d be cool living in France without seeing melanin. Turns out I’m not.
Where in France are you? I can find you some black people to hang with regardless of your location… (ok unless you are somewhere deep in Alsace-Lorraine or some sh!t)
6. Blame it on the Texas in me, but I love cowboys. and country music. I can sing most George Strait and Johnny Cash songs at the drop of the hat and will do.
Girl, I am only an “adopted” Texan, but I rep my Cowboy boots HARD! Can’t wait for Rodeo, sh!t!
You made your homeboy clap??? SMH (I can’t help but wonder if you’re still in touch…).
Let’s see… confessions? Hmmm..
1.) I converted to being Jewish in kindergarten because my teacher said that she didn’t eat pork. How long did I last? About a few days because my mom made bacon every morning. Over the Thanksgiving holidays, though, I found out I might really be Jewish anyway. Go figure!
2.) I’ve been proposed to over 5 times. I won’t say the exact number, but it’s not funny to some of my married (and desperately single) friends since I’m 28 and still single
3.) I’m not into the reality craze. Well, I’m more into the news reporting, then the made-for-tv movie that follows on Lifetime Movie Network. That’s the type of reality I like – 20/20 style
4.) Speaking of 20/20, I’ve been watching the whole suite of ABC news shows since I was able to sit still and get my hair cornrowed
5.) Speaking of getting my hair cornrowed, my hair is really natural, but I twist it up and use half wigs. It seems that my hair grows longer that way faster. And dudes still think I’m gorgeous (*wink wink)
6.) Oh yeah, now I know I might get flack on this one, but I don’t think Jay-Z is ugly.
Thank you, thank you, thank you… you’re far to kind…
Myia J
The Solutions Diva
@Myia J, You made your homeboy clap??? SMH (I can’t help but wonder if you’re still in touch…).
yeah, we still in touch. that’s my boy.
it’s all hi-fives though.
@Panama Jackson,
“it’s all hi-fives though”
you…stoopid!!! LMAO!
@Myia J,
welcome and sh*t
Im so weak…. lmao
@Buxxy, yay.
1.I hate raw tomatoes.
2. I have a friend complex ( I don’t like to share)…. but I really really really want some new friends. I’ve had the same ones for 15+ years and I’m only 22.8 … ::cold stare::
3. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in 5 years and I am getting bored with the single life however…
4. I am anti relationships. The sad part us that I really want to get married and pop out kids by 27… go figure. ::walks back to the drawing board::
5. I HATE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS AFTER DECEMBER 31ST. You cant bring in the new year with lasts years decorations…how backwards is that?
6. I have the first ever Britney Spears doll still in the box with all intentions of making money after she dies. I love her to death though.
7. I always wanted to be an olympic gymnast.
8. I’m in grad school but I secretly dream about being a house wife and never using my degrees.
9. Well maintained locs are my kryptonite. Don’t mix that with an educated, chocolate, tall, self sufficient, brother with a great smile… I will become a dirty whore for him. Everyday. With a smile on my face.
10. I hate the state of Virginia…ugh…
11. I have a fear of balloons popping. i have to leave the room if someone gets too close to a balloon. One year my little sis put starburts inside of the balloons… I left the party before it began.
I think I am done. I feel somewhat better.
@Buxxy,
“I will become a dirty whore for him. Everyday. With a smile on my face.”
LMFAO repeatedly…
@Buxxy, 10. I hate the state of Virginia…ugh…
i hate VA too…
@Buxxy,
Virginia has the WORST drivers in the world, bar none. I swear they get their licenses from CVS or something.
I was in Brooklyn one time and almost got in an accident with a Virginia driver. That sealed the deal for me.
@P.,
And here I thought only ppl from VA hated VA this much! I’m dying to move out… should stayed my ass in ATL.
@GEELA,
Literally my entire family except me is from Richmond, so I have a love/hate relationship with Virginia. As in, I love my family and hate Virginia.
@Buxxy,
#10 – It’s better than MD.
@Unanimous,
This is a gotdamn lie.
I love Britney Spears and her music. Hit me baby one more time! Love the Brit Brit…..
I love reality TV! I watch it all…I especially like Real World and Real World/Road Rules challenges,,,and I Love New York.
I have never traveled out of the US territories.
There are probably some others but this will have to do for now.
@QueenT, I have never traveled out of the US territories.
not even to canada or mexico???
@Panama Jackson, No….not yet. I am planning on it soon.
Jamaican Girl, there’s no shame in that. I destroyed many TV remotes in my house just to finish ‘medicating’ myself as well. It’s a matter of life and death!!….right?
* Friends have always commented to me about how I “think like a guy” I’m still trying to understand what this means.
* I am an Anime nut. I even started my school’s Anime club which is still going on to this day.
* I used to write fanfiction for a certain Anime and had one of the most popular websites. It’s still running and I constantly catch people stealing pictures and information from the site.
* I had my first kiss at 19
* I lost my virginity at 23
* I have no desire to become a wife or mother
* I am content with being single
* I love playing video games, especially RPG’s, action, adventure and fighting games.
* I have a borderline obsessive personality. When I find something new I like, I’ll do it repeatedly until I tire myself of it then I leave it alone completely.
* I was a total misanthrope for a period of years. I hated EVERYBODY equally. I got better though. ^_^
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
What certain anime was that, out of curiosity
@sisanda, *blushes* Bishoujo Senshi Sera Muun. Translated into Sailor Moon *hides*
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
I get I think like a guy alot too…it apparently means you’re heartless.
I LOVE anime, manga, K-/J-/TW- dramas! YamaNade’s (The Wallflower/Perfect Girl Revolution) live action J-drama starts TODAY! I’ll watch the stream and then see if anyone is fan-subbing it in English. Anime wise right now I’m watching (and soon to watch) Tales of Saiunkoku, Darker Than Black 1 and 2, rewatching Magical Girl Lyricial Nanoha, Kurenai, rewatching Soul Eater, all the Slayers, thinking about watching the new Full Metal, Princess Tutu Season 1 and 2, Nodame Cantabile (love the j-drama version), the new season of Suzumiya Haruhi, and Genshiken season two
*hi-five my friend*
@Siobhan, If you havn’t notice by my name. I like Gundam…..and anime.
Huge fan of Manga tho
@Mr. Gundam,
More friends! We should start an anime blog…LOL
@Siobhan, OMG I would so be a contributor. Let me know
@Mr. Gundam,
Perhaps I shall create this blog…I’d prefer a streaming show though…so vlog
@Mr. Gundam,
I had to give Gundam 00 the side eye though…WTH…too much drama…and the twin/double thing…weird
@Siobhan, Ok you got me there. I thought Gundam 00 own Tinkerbell ever cent but, on a show about giant fighting robots. I’m sucker for liking both seasons *kanye shrug*
@Siobhan, I just finished Kuroshitsuji “Demon Butler” I watch alot of streaming anime on a few free websites.
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
I LOVED SEBASTIAN! Sign me up for one…do you read the manga? The household is efficient…at their real jobs
@Siobhan, I’ve read a couple chapters on Mangafox I like the manga better. I just finished Vampire Knight on Mangafox and loooooved that series!
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
Not a Vampire Knight fan…I leave most of the Vampire stuff alone…cool cool
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
I am a big anime fan, too. My sister got me into comic books and anime as a kid. I used to read DBZ fan fictions all the time when I was in high school. Funny thing, I used to watch DBZ and wear DBZ t-shirts all the time in high school and got clowned for it. I went to college, an HBCU at that, and everyone was watching Dragonball Z, even the most gangsta dudes watching it. It was cool being ahead of the curve.
@ComicBookGuy,
My dude my Mom used to drive my brother and I 45 minutes to this place called Software Seconds. This dude sold DB and DBZ vhs tapes. I now know this douchebag sold FANSUBBED tapes but as a 6th graders I didn’t notice the “Not for Sale or Rent” subtitle in the episodes.
Forward to 10th grade and it’s the rage on Cartoon Network…I was like so have you seen movie 13 when Gohan kills Frieza with one punch when he escapes hell? Everyone is like…there are only 3 movies…what are you talking about…who is Frieza? BWAHAHAH…I love being a turtle!
@Jade (not a prOn) Star,
* I used to write fanfiction for a certain Anime and had one of the most popular websites. It’s still running and I constantly catch people stealing pictures and information from the site
Don’t tell me it was Inuyasha? I am addicted to Inuyasha fanfiction!!!
@Sula, OMG If it was Inuyasha and your name was BathoryM I hate you!!! If not, I’m sorry and what was your name?
@Manny,
Lol! I never actually wrote any… Just love to read Inuyasha fanfiction… Especially yaoi fanfiction… weird I know.
@Sula, WOW can’t believe i read all the comments…..this is a great topic:
My Confessions….
1. I love the color black, mostly because its used as a bad color in the media (yeah I’m such a rebel. lol)
2. I don’t watch sports, ANY GAMES watsoever! but, i keep myself inform on trades, scores, seasons wins and losses.
3. I can take an insult better than a compliment. Or to explain it better insult, criticisms, negative shit doesn’t bug me the least bit. But when someone gives me a compliment or a gift I had trouble accepting it. I literally had to be taught to just say “thank you” :-s
4. I suck at remembering names, like if I see you everyday, I opt to saying “sir” or “ma’am” instead of your actual name.
5. I’m a fan a Kanye West. (Yes i said it!!!) To the point where I had to debate my uncle as to why he is a more “relevant” artist than his choice LL cool J
6. I eat WAY to much candy and I LUV applesauce. I have to buy some type of gummi lifesavers candy and twizzlers(especially the pull and peel kind) in those big packages at the supermarket. How much I love applesauce you ask????
My girlfriend saw me eat a 3 pound jar in one sitting. I could two jars back to back on a full stomach if no one points it out. I weight 173 :-0
7. I posted this in a reply cus there were to many comments left on this topic and I wanted people to read it.
(Don’t judge me)
@Sula, Not Inuyasha (though I am watching the final eps for the new season) I wrote for Sailor Moon. My new obsession is BLEACH. I’m up to ep 170 on streaming.
@Sula,
I love FanFiction…I’m an avid reader on Fanfiction.net of all my mangas…heck I read on Winglin.net for Fanfiction on all my favorite asian actors…LOL….Wo ai ni Ariel Lin Yi Chen!
@Siobhan, I recommend author Sueric on mediaminer.org she has a whole series going.
Long time reader, first time commenting.
1. I think “What’s Love Got To Do With It” is an underrated comedy. Sad I know.
2. I too has no idea what a 2520 was. Thanks to this site I no longer call them “pink toes”.
3. All of my life I’ve done everything in my power to avoid going to church. When I’m there I judge people by suits they wear. I used the Steve Harvey scale. If you are dressed like Harvey, theb I secretly make fun of you.
4. I fell in love with my girlfriend seven years ago when she bought me a bag of pork skins and a Budweiser tall boy.
5. I kind of want to be Denzel Washington.
welcome!!
@Liz, Thanks.
@Wuyoungforever,
“All of my life I’ve done everything in my power to avoid going to church. When I’m there I judge people by suits they wear. I used the Steve Harvey scale. If you are dressed like Harvey, theb I secretly make fun of you.”
This is my first time saying this but I (lightweight) kind of do this too. I’ve had bad experiences with dudes in Steve Harvey suits and church.
@Wuyoungforever,
welcome and sh*t
Ok here goes….
1.) I am BEYOND arachnophobic! The tiniest spider will make me b*tch up so fast I think it happens about .72 seconds before I actually see the eight legged freak. People think that because i am 6’5″ 380lbs, I should be able to handle it better. But I ask, what does my size have to do with a spider bite?
2.) In 2001 and 2002 I played Dungeons and Dragons…..a lot.
3.) One time the condom broke, and I just kept going……
4.) This one is major, especially right now with it being such a fresh issue……..I don’t really give a rats a$$ about Haiti. I mean don’t get me wrong, my prayers go out to them, but thats as far as my relief effort goes. I would rather donate to fix some of the numerous problems in our own country. Was Haiti sending aid to the Katrina victims? I know Haiti ain’t got jack to send us but thats precisely my point. We ain’t got it either. With the number of unemployed Americans who had to tell their kids Santa couldn’t make it this year because his GPS was trippin, I just can’t see sending a dime outside this country. Maybe I’m just selfish….maybe you’re over sensitive….whatever.
@BigBuck,
*whispering* I feel the same way about Haiti *ducks tomatoes*
@BigBuck,
I understand where you are coming from in regards to Haiti. The money the U.S. gives in aid is nothing. Less than 1 percent of the U.S. budget goes to foreign aid. The U.S. is partly responsible for the situation in Haiti. In fact the CIA assisted in the overthrow of Aristide not to long ago. IMHO Haiti is still paying the price for defeating the French. The U.S. in some way has always meddled in Haiti for 200 years. Our level of comfort in the U.S. comes at the expense of countries like Haiti. The issue isn’t with helping other countries the issue is with wall street, multinational corporations, and preventing them from exploiting all of us for profit.
@BigBuck, #4 …ouch
I wasn’t gon say nothin more than that ^, but then I thought- you know, I got fam abroad… in the carribean and the truth is (sorry to damper anyone’s feel good mood, clearly this was supposed to be a “Friday Fun” post, but…) if it were yo mama over there I doubt you’d sing the same tune.
Also, there are A LOT of Americas there that are still currently missing.
@Yeah…SO?!,
agreed.
i dont think it matter much WHERE the crisis is, i do feel an obligation to help those who cant help themselves. ppl are still alive and trapped under rubble and all kinds of madness. the death toll is going to be much larger than if such a disaster happened here simply because theres really nowhere for these ppl to go and the ones who are still alive prob wont make it just based on the care available.
i donated $$ for relief. i dont have family there no do i know any immigrants directly from there. i dont need to. theyre all children of God and thats enough of a relation for me to want to reach out.
@Gem of the Ocean, Amen to that. My sister-in-law has family over there that are homeless (because their house collapsed) and until yesterday evening were missing. Look, Big Buck, I don’t like to get into political arguments, but this one is major. The U.S. government has played a part in Haiti’s demise just as much as their own government has, and if I can donate time and money to finding missing loved ones and providing aid then so can the U.S. government. We can rally to get things done here in the states and with the same amount passion if we want IN ADDITION to helping those that are less fortunate.
p.s.- there’s a gang of US CITIZENS over there too.
@BigBuck,
“The tiniest spider will make me b*tch up so fast I think it happens about .72 seconds before I actually see the eight legged freak. ”
*snickering*
@BigBuck, I get what y’all saying but the fact is it AIN’T my mama over there. I aint saying the people who have ties over there shouldn’t care, i’m just saying I don’t. I know the U.S. is greatly responsible for the social and economic situation over there, sucks for them. And if our government feels guilty about that, they should. So the government can give whatever aid they wish. But as for my personal contribution it stops at a prayer. I just can’t extend my vision to any problems outside our own country right now. When home is taken care of, then I’ll worry about other people.
@BigBuck,
Long Time Lurker, First Time Comment …usually the folks here at VSB have me lls, however today , or should I say Friday, it was different …I can not believe that someone would even write things like Santa couldn’t get to the kids because of whatever, are you effin kidding? Home will never be taken care of because of ignantazz folks such as yourself, and you’re right in saying that your mama ain’t over there , mine ain’t either, BUT that has nothing to do with what we civilized folks like to call HUMANITY…you scared of spiders and sh*t…you should be scared of a lot more than that …talkin that moronic shite….this comment may not even make it to the board, but I just had to put it out there, sorry good people of VSB, and in closing …”ain’t no good gonna come to you Big Buck”
@bajanflchick, So passionate! Bravo!
@bajanflchick, Also welcome and sh*t!
Though I am born and raised in Alabama, I have to fake my Southern accent. When I do fake it, I sound like a white man mid-lynch.
People think I am foreign so much that I periodically pretend to be from Curacao to give women the fantasy that they are being hit on by a man from some exotic faraway land.
It was me who peed out the window of a 4th floor dorm room in Paddyfoote. My refusal to come clean got the whole entire floor fined, except me. I argued that I was exempt from the fine because I was not there at the time because my name was signed up on the visitor’s log at McGuin.
In the right light I would so take Pepa, of Salt & Pepa fame, down through there.
When playing sports I always made my efforts look that much more awesome by pretending to be in pain.
I know all the lyrics to Britney Spear’s “Lucky”.
I mistakenly thought I was dark-skinned for 22 years until my friends decided to break it to me that I was not on some Wesley Snipes ish, and now when I look at old pictures I don’t know where I got the idea that I was blue black from.
@Legendary Dash,
“People think I am foreign so much that I periodically pretend to be from Curacao to give women the fantasy that they are being hit on by a man from some exotic faraway land.”
This is hilarious.
@miss t-lee, No one seems to know anything about Curacao which makes it the best country to pretend to be from. I fear the day I run into someone who is actually from there, and they call me out on my nonsense. Until then when I go to the club I rep the west side of Willemstad.
@Legendary Dash, when Curacao runs dry, use Bali that is what me and my girls use, better yet use Mauritius, I went there recently and realized just how far it is from the rest of the world, its no wonder no one has ever heard of it before
@Intellectual Hedonist, Bali? I was thinking Guyana. They speak English and have Black people there. I might test drive Guyana tomorrow.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I have cousins whose mother is from Mauritius…
Yeah, we do mix a lot.
@Legendary Dash, I’m from South Carolina and my accent is very real. Unfortunately I sound like a white man post-lynch. It’s not Randy Moss bad, but it’s pretty close.
@Wuyoung,
I sound like I am from some nondescript foreign country and spend about an hour a day proving that I am not only a US citizen, but a Southerner. I was once pulled over by the cops, and they were convinced that my ID was not mine because I did not look like I should have an ethnic American Negro name.
@Legendary Dash,
It was me who peed out the window of a 4th floor dorm room in Paddyfoote. My refusal to come clean got the whole entire floor fined, except me. I argued that I was exempt from the fine because I was not there at the time because my name was signed up on the visitor’s log at McGuin.
As a fellow FAMUAN, I can’t help but SMDH. I am of the fervent belief that if I had to live in Paddyfoote I would have committed a felony and never graduated. So glad I was in Gibbs. Anyways, this made me ROTFL!
@Soula Powa,
Paddyfoote was easily a better living experience than Gibbs. We were closer to the cafe, it was a more permissive environment, and we had girls on hand.
@Legendary Dash, Though I am born and raised in Alabama, I have to fake my Southern accent. When I do fake it, I sound like a white man mid-lynch.
ive had this problem too. sometimes i wish i had a southern accent. instead, i feel like i sound like i could be a newsbroadcaster in ohio.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO. you’re going to get me fired.
@Legendary Dash,
“I mistakenly thought I was dark-skinned for 22 years until my friends decided to break it to me that I was not on some Wesley Snipes ish, and now when I look at old pictures I don’t know where I got the idea that I was blue black from.”
My brother and my sister are some high yella ninjas and I’m not, but I always thought of myself in comparison to them. A few weeks ago, I looked in the mirror and was like “man… I’m not THAT dark… I’m actually the same color/slightly lighter than most Black people I know…”
It took me 21 years to have this epiphany.
@Legendary Dash,
“It was me who peed out the window of a 4th floor dorm room in Paddyfoote.”
Oh, so is that what you learned while at FAMU? I knew there was a reason why I was accepted, yet did not go to that school. SMH….pissin’ out of windows. Leave it to a rattler. LOL!
@Ivyette, *shots fired*
@Yeah…SO?!,
“*shots fired*”
Naw..got my bullet proof vest on today! Shoot away!
@Ivyette, oops not me @ you… you @ them – lol
@Yeah…SO?!,
“How did getting it handed to you in the battle of the bands at The Classic feel this year? You guys were completely outclassed.”
You must have seen what Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles saw. My band was great! (even according to some of the rattlers I know)
*yawn* *sigh* Must every FAMUite always fall back on the “our band is better than your band” spiel?
The game itself….you all slammed us there, but the bands? C’mon, Legend!
@Ivyette, hey wuddid I do?
@Yeah…SO?!,
Ooops! That last reply was meant for Legendary Dash!
@Ivyette, This Rattler will not lower himself to engage in a snarky back and forth. He will just go to the highest ledge, drop trou, and drown you with a stream. Pied Piper yall.
@Legendary Dash,
“This Rattler will not lower himself to engage in a snarky back and forth.”
But you’ll “lower” your pants and pee from a ledge?
Relax, Legendary. Just a lil fun coming from a BCC (now BCU) Wildcat!
@Ivyette,
How did getting it handed to you in the battle of the bands at The Classic feel this year? You guys were completely outclassed.
@Legendary Dash,
“How did getting it handed to you in the battle of the bands at The Classic feel this year? You guys were completely outclassed.”
You must have seen what Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles saw. My band was great! (even according to some of the rattlers I know)
*yawn* *sigh* Must every FAMUite always fall back on the “our band is better than your band” spiel?
The game itself….you all slammed us there, but the bands? C’mon, Legend!
(sorry, but I got my reply clicks mixed up. This same reply is at the bottom of this thread.)
@Legendary Dash,
Ssssssssssssssss Rattler!
First and foremost M.A.S.T.E.R P, you have saved me and a few of the normal people (yall can Ching_Chong_Cha amongst yourselves for that post) a lot of money on Psycheatric consultation Fees.
1) The only sport i watch is wresling
2) When i started porn (age 6), i use to always think that gizz was like CGI, as in i had no idea what semen was i just assumed it was special effects they produced for climatic effect…pun…now fast forward to the first time i played the solo flute and low and behold…i eally got the shock of my life, do you know what it’s like to bust your first nut and get the biggest shock at the same time. because i thought i was dieng, i had to tell my moms (I think God hates me)
3) The last time i whent to Church, i got called up (along with other folk) to the pulpit to accept the Holygost. After seeing everyone fall after being touched by the pastor, when it was mu turn…i closed my eyes, fell to the floor, gave a spamatic jerk, stayed still for ten or so minutes, stood groggishly and returned to my seat. I felt awful inside, like i’d faked an orgasm on the pastor, spiritualy speaking.
4) In Primary School i used to steal food from the white kids school bags, and like Hov i had one hell of a run standing Ova…Hey, how can i help the hungry if I’m one of them, so i gave back to me that’s the win.
5) as a kid is use to have fantasies of my whole family dieng, and being adopted by a white couple who were both infertile, and took me to Disneyland for holidays..*wipe a tear*
6) I find my friends mother attractive
@sisanda,
“3) The last time i whent to Church, i got called up (along with other folk) to the pulpit to accept the Holygost. After seeing everyone fall after being touched by the pastor, when it was mu turn…i closed my eyes, fell to the floor, gave a spamatic jerk, stayed still for ten or so minutes, stood groggishly and returned to my seat. I felt awful inside, like i’d faked an orgasm on the pastor, spiritualy speaking”
LMAO
@miss t-lee, this kilt me as well.
@sisanda, # 3….*evaporates*
@sisanda,
“3) The last time i whent to Church, i got called up (along with other folk) to the pulpit to accept the Holygost. After seeing everyone fall after being touched by the pastor, when it was mu turn…i closed my eyes, fell to the floor, gave a spamatic jerk, stayed still for ten or so minutes, stood groggishly and returned to my seat. I felt awful inside, like i’d faked an orgasm on the pastor, spiritualy speaking.”
LMFAO. You sound like my brother-in-law. He did some silly ish like that in church, too. He was sincerely wondering what all the screaming was about and just decided to join in because everyone else was.
@Cheekie,
You must be careful not to mess with the holy ghost!!!
It will definitely mess you up when you do get it…..
It is a gift, it will come upon you one day if you will be willing to open your heart and welcome it.
@sisanda, You did good to fall down. The preacher would have just kept hitting you with the E.Honda “100 Hand Slap” until you finally fell to the ground.
@Legendary Dash,
OMG!!! You know it wasn’t that serious…you didn’t have to fall out….SMH.
@QueenT,
The fall out part is the best part. It is like taking a charge in a basketball game. The fall has to look realistic, but you have to make sure you don’t hit your head. It’s an art.
@Legendary Dash,
Not the E. Honda slap…LMFAO!!!!
@sisanda,
#3? *spontaneous combustion*!! Oh my gosh darn!
@Panama Dontavious Jackson: you should become a doctor> just to get that name on a labcoat=SWEET!.
Oh yeah quid pro quo… I further address my confessions:
1. I hate eating bread! I find it to be one of the most useless,boring food items in the galaxy. It is simply a vehicle that carries the ‘good stuff’ ie. cold-cuts, condiments etc. to our mouths. Cut out the middle man!= i scrape the ingredients of most sandwiches off of the bread and eat them off of a plate.
2. The Muppets “Rainbow Connection” song makes me cry like a hurt 5 yr.old. :[ ,,,
3. I sometimes secretly wish that I could develop some sort of mental illness so that I could be locked away in a nice sanitarium in California> just work on ‘crazy people’ art ALL DAY LONG.
4.If there’s wasn’t such a negative connotation/stigma around stripping or strip-like activities> I’d be a Burlesque dancer;stage name:Betty Boobs.
5.I literally HATE/am extremely annoyed by the following actors, TV show presenters: James Woods, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr. (ex-junkie and acts all smug during every interview he conducts?!), Dave Salmoni (leave the damn lions alone, you d#ck! I can’t wait until I read in Google News about how his fake wannabe zoologist azz got eaten up by the whole pride!!).
6. I used to dress like a boy and tried hanging w/ vatos/gangsters for a year just to experience what it was like to be a ‘rough boy’. Greatest/weirdest experience ever..
7. I have various fantasy themes involving Blair Underwood and/or Josh Homme from QOTSA (yes it involves lots of raunchy Oreo-luv-action).
8.I can’t wait for things like iTunes and MySpace to DIE so I can buy beautiful LPs again and drool over the awesome cover art and actually be connected to my favorite musicians again (I’m a 34 yr. old dinosaur.. I know)…
@GeekChicness, 3. I sometimes secretly wish that I could develop some sort of mental illness so that I could be locked away in a nice sanitarium in California> just work on ‘crazy people’ art ALL DAY LONG
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, its easy to get in…hard to get out. lol. you can have that one.
@Panama Jackson,
“sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit, its easy to get in…hard to get out. lol. you can have that one.”
I wish I coulda got this advice on cecks
@GeekChicness,
(leave the damn lions alone, you d#ck!
i have to say this to liz at least three times a week
@GeekChicness,
3. I sometimes secretly wish that I could develop some sort of mental illness so that I could be locked away in a nice sanitarium in California> just work on ‘crazy people’ art ALL DAY LONG.
4.If there’s wasn’t such a negative connotation/stigma around stripping or strip-like activities> I’d be a Burlesque dancer;stage name:Betty Boobs.
5.I literally HATE/am extremely annoyed by the following actors, TV show presenters: James Woods, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr. (ex-junkie and acts all smug during every interview he conducts?!), Dave Salmoni (leave the damn lions alone, you d#ck! I can’t wait until I read in Google News about how his fake wannabe zoologist azz got eaten up by the whole pride!!).
Get out of my flucking head!!!
Instead of sanitarium, I want to disappear in the middle of the Amazon forest and live with the natives eating hunted game meat and plants we’ve harvested from nature… on some Apocalypto sh!t.
And it is common knowledge in my circles, that was I born an orphan? Shoot! I would have been a stripper. Like seriously. I think it’s one of the greatest jobs ever…
As a kid, after guests left, I’d sniff their chairs right after they got up to leave…as in barely out the door!! It was imperative that the seat was still warm at the time of inspection…anything after 10 seconds was unreliable! Caught a good thrashing on that one!
@Laika,
…….?
@Laika, yeah why did you do that?
@Laika, LMAO!!!! Pure comedy.
@Laika, this is odd that i’m not even sure what to do with this information.
what were you sniffing for?
@Laika, I just wanted to register my “WTF?” response.
@Laika,
I have an extremely irrational hatred for sitting in a seat that’s still warm from someone else.
@P.,
I have this fear too. It’s kinda debilatating. I mean, think about how often it happens – at restuarants, at the hair dressers…Ugh!! Who wants to sit in someone else’s booty warmth?!?!
@P.,
I always automatically assumed they farted there.
@Laika,
Did they have drugs on them? Like, why were you doing this? I’m so sincere!
@Laika, I literally have tears streaming down my cheeks. I’m not judging but seriously, DaF*ck? Hilarious
@Laika
You are/were a compulsive chair sniffer? Wow, I didn’t think I’d say that sentence today.
@Laika, woooohhh! I couldn’t stop laughing…just woke up the S.O., he gave me a dirty look….
@Laika,
Hahahahaha! You sre so funny. Be careful not to smell every time someone gets up. You may get sick to your stomach after I GET UP!!!!!!!!!!
BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just saw coming to america for the first time this week. i’m 26. and a black female. the color purple next week.
@amarie, this is just shameful.
@Panama Jackson, i was holding my head in shame as i typed the confession.
@amarie,
Last year Coming to America was on, and we’re all watching it and cracking up. Then about 20 mins into the movie, my boy goes “What movie is this?”
I still possess his Black card to this day.
@amarie, Me tooo…..(finally watched it over x-mas break) Haven’t seen The Colour Purlple yet and I’m alost 28…sad I know…Add Boomerang, Jungle Fever and She’s Gotta Have It to the list as well.
@TheFutureMrs, just saw all 3 of those last year. what can i say, i was really sheltered growing up.
@ Panama, God bless you! That opening was priceless- cuz I sho nuff was like “Wut in the hell was that?”… *continues reading*
@Yeah…SO?!, it was my gift to you. my splendiferousness.
Confessions….
I do not think Denzel is hot or sexy. Sorry…I just don’t “see” it :-/
Got caught doodling d*cks on my notepad by a coworker yesterday. Luckily it was a coworker that im actually friends with and not my boss.
I tried to give myself my own wax job “down there” this past summer…and will never in life try that ish on myself again.
When I have needed toilet paper at home I have taken a roll from work before instead of stopping by the store
When i was a kid (and before they had scanners at the checkouts) I used to switch the price stickers on barbie dolls so that they were always $4 or $5. This of course didnt apply when i didnt have to use my own money to get it.
I know it’s bad, taboo, dangerous, stupid, etc, etc but I LOVE the way a d*ck feels without a condom. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that before! lol
@RedPlum, you’re not alone on that Denzel thing. The only thing I ever thought he had was a nice walk. His stride just says, “Yeah I’m cool.” But as far as looks, he’s always just been rather bland to me.
That last one is only taboo if you go without a condom with random strangers. The reality is, condoms do make it feel different. Having to include them is the price we have to pay for all the free gifts that come when you go without.
@RedPlum, Got caught doodling d*cks on my notepad by a coworker yesterday. Luckily it was a coworker that im actually friends with and not my boss.
superbad pt ii.
@RedPlum, I LOVE the way a d*ck feels without a condom.”
oh wow. i think you made your confession quota for the year. lol
@Miss Patterson, how’d I miss that… whoa- keep it clean… but it’s so true, I side with RPlum *fanning myself* – lol, I mean who doesn’t?
My confessions:
1. I hate watermelon, chocolate, and peanut butter. I always get the *blank stare* over the chocolate issue, but chocolate is just hella nasty.
2. I attended a predominatly black high school- best experience of my life; I attended a prestigious unversity for undergrad with a black population of 3%- hated every single day that I was there. I attended a HBCU for graduate school- best experience of my life. Am I detecting a pattern here?
3. After two years of dating, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and then dumped me for another woman. He married her less than 18 months later. I thank her everyday. I also feel very sorry for her and what her life may be like.
That is all.
@Heavanly1, i’m not the biggest chocolate fan either. i do love white chocolate though.
perhaps i’m a racist.
@Panama Jackson, who the h3ll likes white chocolate? ewww. nasty.
I have a celebrity crush on John Travolta. I even refer to him as my favority middle aged white man. I don’t know where this crush came from. If a movie with him comes out, I want to see it.
There are a couple of country songs that I like. My mom listens to a country radio station and when I was riding in the car with her, there were a few songs that I actually liked, altho I wouldn’t actually tell her this. I think they were Last Name by Carrie Underwood and I think its called Don’t Blink. I don’t know who its by.
Even though I like pickles I won’t eat them if I get them with a sandwich at a restaurant because someone told me that the restaurant reuses the uneaten pickles. I’m not sure if that’s true or not.
@Deeds,
I don’t know where this crush came from.
cataracts?
1. When we have birthday luncheons at work, I eat the pizza… when it is dessert time (one of the lady’s always cooks it), and they make me feel bad for not eating dessert and because my “diet” excuse is no longer working (since I am not losing any weight), I put a piece of cake on my napkin, “save it for later,” go into my office and trash it. I hate eating people’s food.
2. I look/act like I really care but sometimes I’m making fun/ judging you in my head.
3. Sometimes the littlest things make me cry- like a movie where a kid does something really sweet/ adorable.
4. I look at myself in every reflective surface that I pass.
@Sunny, In addition, I watch shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians and LaGuna Beach and The City, just so I can keep up with their clothes.
Oh yea another one, the first time I had sex I was so scared that I might be pregnant even though a condom was used and nothing went wrong with that. I just thought for some reason that I was. Maybe because I heard it all the time about the repercussions of sex. I worried myself for nothing. I took a pregnancy test and everything.
@Deeds, ur not alone. I apparently caught a bad stomach virus once, but since I only got sick in the morning> I assumed I was pregnant> which made no damn sense ‘cuz I also wasn’t havin’ any sexy times that whole month (high & dry a whole month!..’nother story..’nother time).
Anyway I took 4 pregnancy tests in 2 days..praying to every deity I could think of while waiting. I’m terrified of pregnancy!!! Why?= I don’t want kids.
@GeekChicness, a year after I had my first child, I started feeling what felt like a baby kick and even though I was having no sex what-so-ever.I went to my doctor and everything, she thought I was crazy! I demanded blood, urine and ultrasound…was diagnosed with postpartum high blood pressure (I was feeling blood pumping through my abdominal aorta)….
I got one…
I have a really high matabolism and ultimately believed I could never really be affected by anything in matters of the stomach… until I drank chocolate chip milkshakes for like 3-weeks str8(seriously stressed out during that time) and was told I had high-cholesterol… my reply “nah uuuuhn!”
oh and I have a hard time pronouncing “asked”, always sounds like axed when I say it… it’s a speech impediment
@Yeah…SO?!,
oh and I have a hard time pronouncing “asked”, always sounds like axed when I say it… it’s a speech impediment
in the medical community, this speech impediment is commonly referred to as “being a nigga”
The movie Snakes on a Plane scared me so much I burst into tears watching it.
I have natural hair but I’m not a fan of men with dreads. I think that makes me a hypocrite.
I live in Atlanta and 95% of my friends are white.
@Smanakins, I live in Atlanta and 95% of my friends are white.
i don’t even know how that’s possible.
@Panama Jackson,
Unless she has 5 friends…
Oh, that makes it 80% (unless the sole black friend is Tiger woods, then she reaches the 95% quota)
@Smanakins,
“The movie Snakes on a Plane scared me so much I burst into tears watching it.”
Was it because it sucked so much*?
*I have no authority to assume this since I’ve never seen it but I assume it anyway just based on the title.
@Smanakins,
I have natural hair but I’m not a fan of men with dreads. I think that makes me a hypocrite.
i dont think it does. i mean, i have a ceaser and a beard but i’m not attracted to women with them
@Smanakins,
okay that list cracked me the heck up
1. The Tribe Called Quest’s song, Electic Relaxation, was made in 1993. It’s one of my favorite songs ever. I’ve played it in my Sony Walkman, Discman, and today, in my iPhone. It bothers me to no end that to this minute, I still don’t know the words to the chorus- “Relax yourself girl —–”. Seriously, I think that only Q-Tip only knows.
2. I dont cry for no movie. I didn’t even cry when they killed Jim Kelly in Enter The Dragon. And he had the most precise afro. Ever. But dammit, when Will Smith landed the job in The Pursuit of Happyness, a ninja got to blinkin’ and sh*t in the theatre.
3. I confess that I will hop over the counter and commence to thrash the next dry cleaner that puts a old player ass crease in my 501′s. WTF is that about with Chicago dry cleaners?
4. That string-bean-with-the-fried-onions-in-a-can casserole that white folks LOVE to bring to every single work party – is actually pretty good.
sike.
5. Two years ago, my girlfriend bought a certain someone a pair of Ugg boots. I will absolutely not confess to owning them until another one of you brothers step up.
@DirtyJerz, #5- bwahahahaha… but do you WEAR them is the question
@Yeah…SO?!, They remain in the box, waaaay in the back of the closet, until either the casket drops, or until I put them on eBay.
@DirtyJerz, to be honest I never knew they made men UGGs- veird
@Yeah…SO?!, Don’t try to play me, shun! lol
@ DirtuJerz, no really I swear- I had to google it, but some are kinda cute *side eye*- lol
@Yeah…SO?!, i didn’t either. your girl should be shamed of her self.
@DirtyJerz,
Q-tip says “Relax yourself girl please setlle down” on Electric Relaxation.
@Humble_One, I’ve heard 3 different things, Relax yourself girl (1)please settle down, (2)please sit down, (3)be so clear….Sh*t! I need closure.
@DirtyJerz, It is “please settle down.” I had to look it up and errythang! Glad we could help you find closure. LOL.
@Soula Powa, yeah, i’m sure that’s the most common response to that one. one of my boys slowed it down on his mpc one day and im sure thats what we heard….
@DirtyJerz,
Two years ago, my girlfriend bought a certain someone a pair of Ugg boots. I will absolutely not confess to owning them until another one of you brothers step up.
You might be by yourself on this one, folk…in your defense, your girl did buy them for you tho’…just saying.
@DG, I am NOT the only one. The salesman in mens shoes @ Nordstrom told me so….after he tried to con me into some bitchified Gucci shoes. LOL
@DirtyJerz, son…no man i knew even knew they MADE men’s shoes. you are SO by yourself.
@DirtyJerz, the hook is “relax yourself girl, please set-tle down”
1. I once threw up in the paper towel aisle at Albertson’s. I opened up a back of paper towels and laid them down on top of it and I calmly walked out. Migraines and chicken grease smell from the deli don’t mix ya’ll.
2. If it eat any item with butter, the butter has to be completely melted, otherwise I will not eat whatever it is. If I see one clump of butter I will refuse to eat it. I have a similiar issues with mayo, it has to be a thin layer on the sandwich, if it’s a huge glob or all clumped up–I am not eating it.
3. I have a lotion/body butter addiction. It is NOT a game.
4.My homegirl threatened to take my hip-hop lovers card away yesterday because I told her I hadn’t seen 8-Mile in its entirety.
.
@miss t-lee, #4 ewww girl me either… it’s too slow for me.
@Yeah…SO?!,
Good to know it wasn’t just me…lol
@miss t-lee,
1. I once threw up in the paper towel aisle at Albertson’s. I opened up a back of paper towels and laid them down on top of it and I calmly walked out. Migraines and chicken grease smell from the deli don’t mix ya’ll.
you ain’t right woman…….DAMN
@kingpinenut,
LMAO–this was about 10 years ago, and yeah…you’re right.
@miss t-lee, 4.My homegirl threatened to take my hip-hop lovers card away yesterday because I told her I hadn’t seen 8-Mile in its entirety.
you better lose yourself.
@miss t-lee,
I got all ya’lls back on #4…8 Mile is NOT, NOT, NOT the equivalent of hip hop movie classic. It is not on the level of Breakin’, Krush Groove, Beat Street, or The Last Dragon. I could (and do) certainly see Belly as a classic before 8 Mile. Plus, that dayum wig of locs they put on Mekhi Phiffer… He musta borrowed that wig from Yaphet Koto.
@legitimate_soul,
Okay…you be killing me with your love of Yaphet Kotto. I love it though…lol
And no, it’s definitely not a classic, which is why I only watched bits and pieces of it and quickly feel asleep.
@miss t-lee,
awwww i miss albertsons!!!! i remember when they “married” lucky’s in socal LOL.
and im with you on #2.
@Gem of the Ocean, Is that what happened to Lucky’s? I used to work there back in the day…Haven’t seen one since they closed the one in my hood…
@miss t-lee,
. If I see one clump of butter I will refuse to eat it.
I have a homegirl like that… What’s it all about?
1. I don’t like lies/liars, no matter how small cause if you lie about small sh*t no telling what you wouldn’t lie about.
2. I used to eat paper, paste and starch in the box as a small child LLS
3. I don’t like most of my co-workers LOL
4. That ” I wanna Rock” Remix with HOV cranks like sh*t……..
still cryin at CLAP
imma up you on the chicken…i don’t eat the sh!t unless i’m near death…bones or no…..chicken is sh!t
i will tore up watermelon like it’s candy tho….
i like guitars just a lil too much…..put the young pines to bed last nigth to some Hendrix….
y’all already know i’m country as hell…..no news there
and i’m gettin ageable….
1. I’ve read all of the Harry Potter books and have scene all of the movies.
2. When it comes to chicken…I prefer white meat. Dark meat…I can’t even look at it unless it is in a stew or something. Me pick up a chicken leg and eat it…never!
3. I think Charles Hamilton is cute.
4. I don’t like hair….like on the floor, chairs, etc. It’s the most gross thing ever. When I use the toilet at home, I’ll get tissue and wipe up and hair that I see surrounding my feet. I NEVER get out of the shower w/ out putting on flip flops first.
5. I watch the Food Network religiously…no fat girl. I just find it interesting what the chefs do w/ food…and yeah, it looks good too.
@La Bakir, 4. I don’t like hair….like on the floor, chairs, etc. It’s the most gross thing ever. When I use the toilet at home, I’ll get tissue and wipe up and hair that I see surrounding my feet. I NEVER get out of the shower w/ out putting on flip flops first.
that is a very interesting dislke.
After retrieveing carts in a blizzard, I have to do a clean-up in aisle 7!?!?! aw hail naw…miss t, the next time you in Albertsons, prepare to knuckle up.
@DirtyJerz,
LMAO
My bad homie, I didn’t know it was you!
I’m black and I don’t like hot sauce
I think putting creases in jeans is country
I’ve never found Vanessa Williams attractive
I would hide my bad progress reports in my pouch on my bike in middle school
I hope they don’t mess up the A-Team like they did G.I. Joe with this movie coming out. It seems like whenever they take something from my childhood and make a movie out of it they ruin it.
In college I farted on my ex’s sister while we were in class.
@Humble_One, “I’ve never found Vanessa Williams attractive”- *gasps*… and I don’t even like chiks
@Yeah…SO?!,
I don’t think she is ugly. I just never got all the rah rah and hoopla over her. Now Halle Berry I can see it. I find her very attractive. But Vanessa Williams? Not really. Like I said before she isn’t ugly but at the same time I never drooled over her like other dudes.
@Humble_One, “I think putting creases in jeans is country”
yes, I concur, and it is punishable by law.
@DirtyJerz, whatever….you can call us country, but we’s only southern
big boi, outkast
@Humble_One,
“I think putting creases in jeans is country”
YES!! I get hella annoyed when I take a certain pair of my good jeans to the cleaners and I tell ‘em no crease and they end up doing it anyway. I’ve left like 3 cleaners establishments because of that mess. I HATE creases in general, though. I don’t want my pants looking like paper, mmkay, thanks.
@Humble_One,
cosign- on G.I. Joe trash they made
@Humble_One,
BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone please remind me to never read this blog at work! Violent outburst of laughter are very disruptive (so I was told)!
Very funny. Smoking incense…I’ve done some dumb things in my day…but…LOL! wow!
@Cam, hey, i thought it made sense!
welcome and sh*t
@Cam, I tried to smoke the contents of a tea bag wrapped in toilet paper after seeing a cowboy roll a cigarette in a western movie…I learned…toiled paper burns fast and furious….never told moms why I had that dark mark on my lip and nose…
I’m in my late thirties, but still DVR MTV’s the Real World.
I snack on Raisin Bran Crunch straight out the box like it’s popcorn. I especially do this when I’ll be around my 2520 friends so that I’ll have a better chance at winning the flatulence wars we have. Raisins, bananas, and eggs do me bad, but they help me win.
I hate basketball. I’m sure it’s leftover resentment from the playground where I was either never picked for the team or always picked last.
I love helping people, but I strongly dislike people and tend to be a loner. This makes meeting people to date very difficult.
I practice dance or karate moves enthusiastically when I’m alone in the elevator at work, but resume a very polished and dignified look once the doors open.
When I was 10, I was hanging with the older kids who I wanted to fit in with. I didn’t want to go inside to urinate so I did so in an empty fast food cup. My 5 year old neighbor, who was very annoying, was there as well. I poured some of the cup contents onto his head. He jumped up screaming and ran home, a reaction I didn’t anticipate. His mom stepped out their front door and evil eyed me. 5 seconds later, my mom called me inside…I knew then that this would not end well for me….I was right.
In college I was playing over my girlfriend’s head with matches. Don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but her hair caught fire due to whatever chemicals she had in there. I quicky made some gesture of affection that allowed me to pat the fire out and I got away with it. Close call!!!
I love dogs and eventually plan to get one when I’ll be home more; however, my neighbor’s dogs bark incessantly and it annoys the sh*t out of me. I can’t even open my kitchen cabinet without setting them off on a barking spree. One day I pepper sprayed them through the fence for 20 minutes of relief.
@Caballeroso,
Frat, you are hilarious. The playing with matches story is priceless.
@Caballeroso, “I practice dance or karate moves enthusiastically when I’m alone in the elevator at work, but resume a very polished and dignified look once the doors open.”
LOL….I do this. Frequently.
@Caballeroso,
In college I was playing over my girlfriend’s head with matches. Don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but her hair caught fire due to whatever chemicals she had in there. I quicky made some gesture of affection that allowed me to pat the fire out and I got away with it. Close call!!!
Wow…I imagine you used the tried-and-true forehead kiss with a cranial rub/caress in dousing the flame…that’s better than pouring a cup of pee on her head (shouts out to R. Kelly).
@Caballeroso, LMBO….i formed tears on this one
pepper spraying the dogs was especially hilarious!
lol
@Caballeroso,
“I snack on Raisin Bran Crunch straight out the box like it’s popcorn. ”
This reminds me of me, but my case is sorta extreme. lol I’m not a cereal fan. Well, not cereal in it’s “complete” form. I have an issue with sogginess and the only cereal I’ll eat with milk is granola and Kashi. I’ll sometimes eat Frosted Flakes but once it gets soggy, I toss it because it’s so gross to me. I be looking like a straight up fool trying to eat it all fast while it’s still crunchy. lol So, I’m usually snacking on dry cereal.
Okay, I wasn’t going to confess anything, but after reading all these confessions…I’ll join in…don’t judge me…
1. When I was about 7-8, I was in the grocery store and I tried to open a bag of candy and instead of it opening, the bag ripped and all the candy spilled out all over the aisle…end result? Niiiiiice, @ss whopping on aisle 8.
2. Two of my favorite movies? Cleopatra (w/Elizabeth Taylor) & Gone With the Wind….I have never seen, Friday, Next Friday, or Friday After Next….
3. I get soooo embarrassed for people that I have to change the channel when they do f*ckery
4. I don’t say grace…I went out to dinner with my mother and she asked me to say grace and I told her I didn’t do that…she gave me this look, and shook her head.
That’s all I have for now…
@Complex Simplicity,
#1 is so priceless!!!!
At least all you left was candy on the floor…lol (see my confession above) *jadakiss laugh*
@miss t-lee, I hope you never went back to that store…
@Complex Simplicity,
Trust…I didn’t.
@Complex Simplicity,
You must always say grace. Ask God to bless your food. You’ll feel funny if every time you ate something and it made you sick. Saying grace will allow God to cleanse your food even if it is contaminated.
Think about that, just for 1 minute.
1. I like bananas and watermelon, but I cannot stand candy that is banana or watermelon flavored. It is disgusting.
2. I cried at the end of the Little Mermaid when I was a kid. She got human legs and she got the prince. Don’t judge me.
3. I’ve been playing video games since I was about 5 years old and I have not beat the first video game I ever got: Super Mario Bros. on the first Nintendo. I have beat so many other games but that one.
4. I like chick flicks. Ok, I said it. Sweet November with Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron is one of my favorites. The ending hurt my heart.
5. My mother is the only person I have never beat in dominoes. Every time she plays, she doesn’t just win, she spanks like I am two years old again.
6. I am a fan of the Beach Boys. When it comes to singing, I have a thing for harmonizing and they did a good job of it.
7. I am afraid of butterflies. Once again, don’t judge me.
8. I’ve had a celebrity crush on Reba McEntire since I was a kid. I think it is because she is a redhead. My older sister says I’ve had a thing for redheads since I was 3, when I used to flirt with the little redhead girl in our neighborhood as a kid, even if she was 12 years older than me.
9. I could watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, the white guy with the afro who could paint and had the real soft voice, all day. Seriously. All day long. God rest his soul, Bob Ross was amazing.
@ComicBookGuy, “I’ve had a celebrity crush on Reba McEntire since I was a kid.” o_O
@Yeah…SO?!,
Yeah, I know. It’s weird.
@ComicBookGuy,
“9. I could watch the Joy of Painting with Bob Ross,Seriously. All day ”
And over here…we have a happy little tree, just frolicking over here in the sunshine…
Me too, love Bob Ross (RIP)
@miss t-lee, me three, I loved him he was so cool, and mellow LOL RIP…
the Butterfly thing tho, ahhhhhhh I love
Butterflies and Dargonflies, their colors are AWESOME!!! Gentle little creatures that have morphed, that is vicious!!!
@OrangeStar616,
This is how bad it is. In the H, I found out it comes on at 4am on Saturday mornings on PBS. Does it get DVRed? Yes it does.
@miss t-lee, @ComicBookGuy,
I was on PBS watching him and thought I was the only youngin watchin. Thankfully, I’m not alonet.
@Stank-0,
I just saw your post on loving PBS.
It’s that crack!!! I like Bill Moyers too.
We have 3 PBS channels now, I’m like a kid in a candy store.
@miss t-lee,
I love Charlie Rose. That man does damn good interviews. We had two PBS channels in Dallas and I grew up watching Stevie Ray Vaughan on Austin City Limits. Good times.
@miss t-lee,
You like Bill Moyers? I’ve got one of his books sitting on my bookshelf…
@ComicBookGuy, #9, Bob Ross died? Dammit, where have I been?
@Complex Simplicity,
Tell me about it. I thought he died in the 2000s. Dude died from lymphoma in 1995, so I basically grew up watching his reruns.
@ComicBookGuy,
Yeah..I remembering him dying when I was back in HS, I knew it had been a while back.
@ComicBookGuy, 1995? Really? I started watching him my senior year of high school and that was 1998….awww man….that just messed up my day…kinda like when I found out six months after Sophia from Golden Girls died…man..*sigh*
@Complex Simplicity,
Everybody was sad when Sophia died. She reminded us of our own grandmothers who, at that same point in their lives, did not care what came out of their mouths. Gotta love em.
@ComicBookGuy, Dude! Bob Ross was the man! His voice (and david attenborough’s) makes me feel like the world might not be so bad after all. You’re not alone on that one brotha
@GeekChicness, I used to call him “the White man with the Bush” LOL, he seemed like the nicest person, God bless his soul!
@ComicBookGuy, “6. I am a fan of the Beach Boys.”
Son, do 3 hail Mary’s and don’t tell nobody else that.
@DirtyJerz,
Nah, I’m good, son. When I read in Rolling Stone that ?uestlove likes the Beach Boys, I could finally admit it that I was a fan, too.
@ComicBookGuy,
C0-sign on the Bob Ross! Love him! RIP!
@ComicBookGuy, 3. I’ve been playing video games since I was about 5 years old and I have not beat the first video game I ever got: Super Mario Bros. on the first Nintendo. I have beat so many other games but that one.
you should be ashamed of yourself. joking, but that would really would f*ck with me constantly.
hell i can STILL beat metroid and contra with one guy (no cheat code).
@Panama Jackson,
I tip my hat to you on the Contra thing, sir. I would not touch that game without up up down down left right left right A B start.
I have beat so many other Super Mario Bros games but the first. All of my cousins could do it but me. I could even do the Turtle Top, where you can keep hitting the turtle against the stairs to get unlimited lives. Ah… the golden age of gaming.
@ComicBookGuy, Contra is my sh*t!!! Here’s a confession…I still play it to this day…..online….shhhhhh….
@Panama Jackson,
With one man?! Heyll I never beat Contra with 100 men.
Now Super Mario? I was the 1st in the house to beat that. I still brag til this day to my siblings…lol
@Panama Jackson,
“hell i can STILL beat metroid and contra with one guy (no cheat code).”
GTFOH
@Humble_One, i no lie. you can buy them shits on Wii and i copped and been playing for a while to get back up to my fighting weight. no pacquio.
@ComicBookGuy,
1. I like bananas and watermelon, but I cannot stand candy that is banana or watermelon flavored. It is disgusting
Same here. But I’ll replace Watermelon with coconut or cherry. I like all of those as fruits, but I hate anything flavored with them. Cherry pie is the worst. Blech!
@ComicBookGuy, Man, my dad got me playing vid games (I’m a chik too btw) and I can’t for the life of me beat Super Mario Bros. Either. Ppl look at me like I’m a fool when I tell them, but I always jumped down the wrong damn pipe. I’d still be playing that game today if Katrina didn’t drown my damn Nintendo.
I don’t eat watermelon or bananas either, but that banana Laffy Taffy is the business.
Oh, I have more
1. My cornball friends and I used to smoke oregano wrapped in notebook paper outside the back of the Boys and Girls Club. One time I did it in the house and my mom came home sooner than expected and asked what was that smell. I came up w/ some lame lie that I know she didn’t believe.
2. I used to think a yeast infection came from eating too much bread.
3. I think Jermaine Jackson is hot….when he was w/ the Jackson 5. Before the plastic surgery and black out.
@La Bakir, jermaine jackson looks like a plastic doll to me.
LOL
I don’t find Idris Alba or Boris K or Morris Chestnut attractive.
I am a rare ,esp from DC, female hip hop head, seriously
I have a small Razor blade tatooed on my left tricep. a Wu razor blade, POW!!!!
I don’t mingle with my neighbors in my condo development, their social gatherings etc outside of assoc. meetings
I hate that folk are trying to call Southeast, “River East”, sh*t sounds retarded
@OrangeStar616,
“I hate that folk are trying to call Southeast, “River East”, sh*t sounds retarded”
You too!! Man I hate it!! Don’t get brand new b/c there are some new buildings and new “folk” :rolls eyes: coming back into South East…please :sucks teeth:
@Smiley Face, pretty much o_O, the Good SouthEast will always work for me
@OrangeStar616,
Giirrllll….next thing you know they will re-name the Big Chair the Large Seat! LOL
@Smiley Face, this literally made me tear up from laughter.
@OrangeStar616,
River East?
I’ve never heard that dumb sh*t in my life. Don’t let me go back home and hear somebody say it, cuz they will get an ass-whoopin quick fast and in a hurry.
@OrangeStar616,
“I am a rare ,esp from DC, female hip hop head, seriously”
Not to say this is you but, I am always disappointed when women say this. A lot of women claim to be hip-hop heads because they bought a Method Man maxi-single back in 94. They say they are heads but their taste in music does not reflect it.
I have never seen The Color Purple, and I really don’t plan on it. I HATE depressing black/slave/civil rights era/racist movies.
I’m addicted to cheese. I can’t eat a burger or sandwich without it. And up until I was 23, any burger or sandwich had to be plain with cheese… no ketchup, no mayo, no mustard. Just cheese. Put that crap on my burger and I’m throwing or giving it away.
I’m actually a very good rapper/songwriter, and mastered the Jay-Z/Wayne “no writing” technique a few years ago. But I refrain from telling any women I’m involved with about my music though unless it just happens to come up in conversation. Reason being… they’ll give you the side eye and think, “Yeah, whateva ninja.” Currently working on my M.Ed, but I dream of earning my doctorate and having passive income from writing placements.
I think Corey Holcomb is underrated, and is one of the funniest/realest comics out right now.
People who like Sarah Palin infuriate me, and I want to punch them in the face.
For years, I was traumatized by Chucky. I saw the 1st Child’s Play movie when I was 6 years old, and I had a black My Buddy doll at the time.
When I get bored, I like to read about random history topics on Wikipedia.
I once fell asleep in a strip club. I hate strip clubs by the way.
As crazy as this sounds, I was involved in 3 car wrecks in one day.
As a kid, I was obsessed with the movie, Home Alone, and could act out the movie scene by scene.
I have somewhat of a foot fetish. I just love a woman with pretty feet/toes, and it says a lot about a woman to me. In the spring/summer, I’m definitely looking, and feet are the first thing I will notice. For me, pretty feet will easily boost a 6 to a 7-7.5.
@SouthernCharm, FYI foot structure is genetic and out of folks control, now upkeep and grooming is something diff LOL
@OrangeStar616,
That’s exactly what I meant! LOL.
@SouthernCharm,
For years, I was traumatized by Chucky. I saw the 1st Child’s Play movie when I was 6 years old, and I had a black My Buddy doll at the time.
Those My Buddy dolls always creeped me out…too lifelike…like the eyes be following u around and sh#t….
*shivers*
@DG,
oh hell naw…i couldn’t have one of those…
@DG, My cousin couldn’t deal with those dolls that closed thier eyes when they lay back. It freaked him out.
@SouthernCharm,
Corey Holcomb is a damn fool. I am looking forward to his show on the Foxxhole on satellite radio.
@ComicBookGuy,
Yeah, I’m listening to Speedy’s latest show right now, and they’re highlighting some of the funny moments over the years.
Corey Holcomb’s show is going to be brutal! Dude has quotables for days…
@SouthernCharm,
“I’m addicted to cheese. I can’t eat a burger or sandwich without it. And up until I was 23, any burger or sandwich had to be plain with cheese… no ketchup, no mayo, no mustard. Just cheese. Put that crap on my burger and I’m throwing or giving it away. ”
Oh! You reminded me. I have the strangest relationship with cheese. It’s gotten better since I’ve gotten older and less picky, but the only thing I used to eat with cheese is on pizza. I hated it so much where my momand sister had to lie tell the waiter at the restaurant that I was allergic to it. I HATED cheeseburgers (I still don’t eat them to this day) and if my mom brought home some McDonalds or something and they got my HAMburger wrong and made it a cheeseburger. I would CRY…all upset and ish. She would scrape it off and I’d be like, “I can still see it! HMPH!”. I was a trip. Just horrid. We all laugh about it today, but dayum, I was a cheese diva.
But yeah today, I’m not that picky with cheese, I’ll eat homemade baked mac n cheese (not that box sh*t) and hiliariously enough, I like it super cheesy, still don’t do cheeseburgers (but will compromise if it’s white cheese), I’ve never liked American Cheese and will never like it, etc.So, yeah. My relationship with cheese is, “It’s Complicated”. lol
@SouthernCharm, When I get bored, I like to read about random history topics on Wikipedia
i do this same thing. i kill hours at work sometimes surfing thru wikipedia. i especially like reading about the history of the west and famous figures involved.
- while working at a dept store in Atlanta during college, a girlfriend who worked in the home dept and I had “relations” in the bedding dept stockroom… real talk, wash any and everything you buy from a dept store before sleeping, or wearing it first.
- when I was about 6 I called the police on my uncle for keeping drugs in our house (my teachers brainwashed me with the just say no campaign)… turns out it was just Egyptian Musk. To this day he still gives me grief about it.
- I like the Backstreet Boys song “I Want It That Way”, in fact I like a lot of music that I would probably be judged for.
- I’m obsessed with collecting old school videogames. I have just about every system you can think of, including some foreign ones. I’ve spent entire tax refund checks on ebay. lol
- I’m an atheist and will kindly remove myself from any conversation where a religious figure or name is mentioned out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
@Mr. Kay, i also love “i want it that way”
@Mr. Kay,
“I like the Backstreet Boys song “I Want It That Way”, in fact I like a lot of music that I would probably be judged for.”
Oh, sheeeit, I used to be a BSB STAN. I had their posters all over the wall in the computer room. I liked them even when they were fading away a bit and boy bands in general weren’t what was what’s hot in the streets. One time I was so embarassed, I brought some high school friends over and when they came upstairs, I saw the door was open revealing my pyscho shrine and I freaked out, made an excuse about my grandma undressing and shooed them back downstairs, ran to close the door, then said the coast was clear. F my high school life.
@Mr. Kay,
Well, God bless your little heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Speaking of Usher, thought I’d bring back an oldie but goodie confession:
1. I thought Usher was a group. The “Make Me Wanna” video had multiple Ushers and I thought them mofos were brothers. The VSB fam had a kick outta that…lol
2. I was (and part of me still am) a Dawson’s Creek fanatic. I mean, FANATIC. I obsessively watched all the episodes over and over, I stanned for Pacey and Joey, and I even read fanfic. And I am in love with Joshua Jackson to this day.
3. I don’t have my driver’s license. Yeah, STILL. So, yes, for those vets here who know my other “confession”, I am Cher from Clueless. (see Ty’s infamous line when they got into an argument…RIP Brittany Murphy). Luckily, I live in a big city where you can take public transportation just about anywhere, but I’m determined to actually get a dayum car soon. My excuse before was that I couldn’t afford a car so I procrastinated and ish.
4. I am a reality show junkie. I can’t NOT watch a reality show. In fact, it is probably 98.5% of my TV viewing. I don’t particularly follow any actually “smart dramas” and when I do, it’s not til they get on DVD. But mindless entertainment? I’d watch that ’til the cows tip over in a tornado. I am hooked on the worst of them from Celebrity Rehab, the VH1 Love Shows, to the fantastic bliss known as Fantasia for Real. It’s a shame, really.
5. I kinda love Lady Gaga. I wanna party with her or something. I mean, when she first came out with the “Just Dance” song I thought she was just another pop voice that sounds like every other 2520 chick, but as she released the other songs after that, I started to dig her. And I like her style…even if it is just an act. I don’t take her too seriously and her music is fun workout/dance music.
6. I love the smell of gasoline.
7. I LOVE award shows. I even sit through the boring Oscars. I guess it’s because I’m a screenwriter (for free…lol), but I always get giddy during this time of the year. I watch ‘em all. I love the red carpet and I love the atomosphere. The Oscars is hella boring though on the real. Sometimes I gotta walk in and out of the room for that dayum show and check back in during the award announcements.
@Cheekie,
You”ll never live #1 down…at least not in my eyes…lol
and I know exactly which arguement you’re talking about. Clueless is still my movie!
@miss t-lee, “you’re a virgin that can’t drive”- *pout*… oh wait… was I not supposed to share that?
@Yeah…SO?!,
LOL…no big. It’s confession time, right? lol Clueless is a huge pop culture staple so I’m sure 95% of the VSBers will get that. Hopefully…o_O
@miss t-lee,
“You”ll never live #1 down…at least not in my eyes…lol”
HAHA. I can picture you in the future when we all go to the (alleged) VSB BBQ and you approach me all, “Cheekie! Usher is an individual! … Oh, hey girl, nice to finally meet you!”
@Cheekie,
*snickering*
It’s still funny…I just laughed all over again.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah, I had tears in my eyes from laughing at myself when I first typed out that comment here. lol
@Cheekie, i used to watch dawson’s creek too. i had the biggest crush on katie holmes back in the day.
@Cheekie,
“6. I love the smell of gasoline.”
Growing up I use to like the smell of gasoline. I don’t care for it now.
@Cheekie, “1. I thought Usher was a group. The “Make Me Wanna” video had multiple Ushers and I thought them mofos were brothers. The VSB fam had a kick outta that…lol”
LMAO… oh em gee this cannot be topped today. Thank you for making my 1:00.
@Cheekie,
“6. I love the smell of gasoline.”
I used to love smelling gas as I pumped until I read that inhaling it’s fumes causes cancer. Be careful with that one.
@Caballeroso,
Yeah, I think I loved it more as a kid but never went out of my way to smell it. I just thought it was a pleasant smell. lol
One time though (and this experience still scares the sh*t outta me to this day) I was pumping gas for my aunt and it spilled all over me. I got in the car scared as hell, like I was gonna catch on fire. Then her 2520 friend proceeds to light a cigarette and we’re like “NOOOOO!!” and caught him just in time. He got a tongue lashing from my aunt though…she was like “didn’t she JUST say she spilled gas all over her dayum self?!” My life flashed before my eyes like a mofo. *deepbreath*
@Cheekie,
“1. I thought Usher was a group. The “Make Me Wanna” video had multiple Ushers and I thought them mofos were brot”hers. The VSB fam had a kick outta that…lol
From a former lurker that just started commenting, I saw a while back when you mentioned the Usher thing and I had to let you know- I thought the exact same thing!!
I was on the bus one day in….6th, maybe 7th grade, tellin my girl about this video I saw from a group that was soooo fine!
Convo went something like this:
Me: “Yeah, the group’s name is Usher. They’re real cute, nice bodies and everything.”
My friend: o__O “Usher ain’t no group! That is one dude! Hahahahahaha!”
Me: Hung head in shame and asked her not to tell anyone.
I say all that to say, we were slow together, cause someone had to tell me, too! I mean, the ninja had on 5 different outfits and there were multiple images of him dancing with that chair. Anyone could make that mistake…lol
@Ash,
You and Cheekie gon’ get me fired…CTFU.
@Ash,
“From a former lurker that just started commenting, I saw a while back when you mentioned the Usher thing and I had to let you know- I thought the exact same thing!!”
O_O
This right here? THIS is the makings of an e-twin.
*hugs Ash*
OK, I fell compelled to put some of my own down. Especially since now I see a lot of people do some of the same things.
First I cosign those that said the following:
I am a guy who thoroughly enjoys Chick Flicks like Bridget Jones Diary, Love Actually, and Closer.
I am one of the pickiest eaters alive and I can’t stand the following foods: Bananas, coconut, watermelon, pickles, spicy foods, etc.
I too have to change the channel when I see people do retarded f*ckery. This is why I cannot watch anything Flavor Flav or Ray J related and why I am so late on anything that comes from those shows.
I use Urban Dictionary for all the acronyms is see on sites like these, especially for 2520.
Also, Had my first real kiss freshman year in college and had a hardon for a solid hour afterwards.
I hate American Idol and I can’t wait for it to go off the air.
I so enjoy making fun of fashion mistakes.
I’ll top now b4 I overshare.
@Soula Powa,
“I use Urban Dictionary for all the acronyms is see on sites like these, especially for 2520.”
I’m still kinda pissed this is on there. I mean, I’m glad it’s on there for us, but I kinda wanted it to be our secret so we can use it real life. Soon, all 2520s will know the secret code! Because ya’ll know dayum well they use that site just as much…if not more, than us. lol
First time comment…long time reader.
1. Never seen The Color Purple either
2. I can’t eat anything white (mayo, alfredo sauce, sour cream, etc.) unless I don’t know that it’s there (i.e., spinich dip).
3. If I watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition from the beginning of the show, I cry when they “Move That Bus” and take the tour. If I don’t see it from the beginning and join the show somewhere in the middle I feel nothing at all. (I think I might need some counseling).
4. I usually use my finger instead of a tissue when I have to pick the nostrils. You get better digging control smh (I always wash the hands immediately afterward though)
5. I fart in my office all the time. Hope my officemate doesn’t read this. I tell my wife and she is embarrassed. My officemate is too nice to say anything but she started buying plug-ins and has a portable fan on her desk. I guess she noticed. I apologize to everyone for that. That is disgusting.
I didn’t know I had that many but I’ll save the others until the next time.
@I Don’t Care, welcome and sh*t…
and farting in the office with an actual officemate…classic.
1. When I was online. My ships and I thought it would be a slick idea to put extra cayenne pepper on the hot wings we brought for our prophytes. Turns out my AD was allergic to cayenne pepper. His tongue swole up and his windpipe swole shut! He was in the hospital for 2 days! The bruhs never knew we did it.
2. I got my first handjob in church. The pastor’s daughter was the culprit.
3. In undergrad, I would type entire word documents of exam answers, upload them to my phone, and cheat like there was no tomorrow.
4. I still watch the Lion King, special edition DVD religiously.
5. When i first saw Belly in high school, I dreamed of “wearing the cat” out the way DMX did Taral Hicks.
6. I enjoy, “The Bad Girls Club.”
7.I once chopped two line sisters in consecutive weeks…(God bless you HBCU’s and your huuuuge AKA lines)
@Bobby Drake, 7.I once chopped two line sisters in consecutive weeks…(God bless you HBCU’s and your huuuuge AKA lines)
god bless us everyone.
@Panama Jackson, I hate the botha ya’s (said w a NY or NJ accent)
@Bobby Drake,
2. I got my first handjob in church. The pastor’s daughter was the culprit.
Wow, I’m not sure if I should give you e-dap or say shame on you. Can I do both?
7.I once chopped two line sisters in consecutive weeks…(God bless you HBCU’s and your huuuuge AKA lines)
LMAO! Definite e-dap for that.
@Bobby Drake,
1. When I was online. My ships and I thought it would be a slick idea to put extra cayenne pepper on the hot wings we brought for our prophytes. Turns out my AD was allergic to cayenne pepper. His tongue swole up and his windpipe swole shut! He was in the hospital for 2 days! The bruhs never knew we did it.
There are a lot of people who pledged completely envy you for that statement. I tip my hat to you my friend. What are the odds?
@Bobby Drake,
Oh yeah, I peeped the screenname Bobby Drake. What’s up with you, Iceman?
1. Growing up I had the deepest fear that the government would come take me away because I was a budding black panther and no one would never hear from me again. Funny because I went to all 2520 schools, and most of my friends were 2520s. My mom could never understand why I hated them so much.
2. I’ve never seen the movie “There’s Something About Mary”
3. I didn’t see “Pulp Fiction” until freshman year of undergrad
4. I gave my thesis defense with hot pink hair!!! And ya girl passed. Don’t hate.
5. I have the biggest crush on a former professor, he has a crush on me as well. iCant with him because he’s married. iSigh
OOOOH! I’ve wanted to confess this since forever.
I have NO idea what the tag line means of VSB means… I mean I get the B-Cup but WTF is the CP3 – I’ono! (yay I’m sure it’s around here somewhere but I’m hella lazy and I’m not THAT curious BUT if someone could please please PLZ tell me… I’d owe you big time)
Other confession:
I recently found out one of my favorite bloggers (brilliant dude) is a fat ass & unattractive – and I’m THRILLED about it. So life isn’t picture perfect in his world – that means all hope is NOT lost in mine.
@Teeeeesher,
CP3 is candace parker. from the tennessee volunteers and whatever team she plays for when she’s not with child. chris paul is also number 3 ad he plays for the new orleans hornets. so our fave is the chick.
and i’m a 3…does that make you happy?
@Panama Jackson, y’all are so random! Everything comes down to tits with dudes huh?
My first thought was Chris Paul! He’s my fave CP3. NO idea about his cup size, would LOVE to find out. *t.m.i.*
1) I will not sleep if there is an open door in the house..seriously, I will go from the basement on up making sure all doors are closed.
2) I can’t sleep without my keys in my hand on on my bed *shrugs* don’t know why
3) I get scared if I see deep water on TV but will hop my happy tail on a cruise ship in a minute…o_O
4) I have to sit in one particular position on a plane, otherwise I start shaking and sweating
5) I don’t trust my sister driving my car but I’m fine when she drives hers and we.have. the.same.car…o_O
6) I will not sit down in my house until I shower and wash away the outside..like seriously, I head straight for the bathroom fully clothed, toss dirty clothes in the hamper and shower before I do anything, otherwise I can’t relax *shrugs*
@Smiley Face,
Your list inspired my comment below about OCD ish. lol
@Cheekie,
Chile…I got “tendencies” LOL
@Smiley Face,
and lots of them!
How do you manage the keys thing when sleeping with an SO?
@Smiley Face, #1 is me all day…I REFUSE to sleep if my bedroom, bathroom, closet door is open…when my BF sleeps over he would get in the bed, and I would have to remind him to close the doors…it bothers him I know, but if he want some of the goods…he better close the door..a la Teddy P…RIP…
@Complex Simplicity,
Amen, lol
@Complex Simplicity,
This reminds me:
I cried BUCKETS at the following deaths:
Teddy P
Raul Julia
Marvin Gaye
Cobain
…but NOT Michael…no I don’t know why!
And no…I NEVER cry! Dad’s at the hospital, grandpa died, fave uncle died…dry as a bone…
Marvin Gaye? I threw down a fruit punch bowl and screamed, “Damn, damn, DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!”
@Smiley Face,
“6) I will not sit down in my house until I shower and wash away the outside..like seriously, I head straight for the bathroom fully clothed, toss dirty clothes in the hamper and shower before I do anything, otherwise I can’t relax *shrugs*”
I do this…it’s completely normal to me…
1. I’ve never seen the Color Purple. I think I’ve gone this long and don’t really have the desire to see it. Speaking of:
2. I don’t care for Oprah. Well not really Oprah but some of her mindless followers who take what she says as religion.
3. When I was 13 I stabbed myslef in my leg with a butcher knife. Not one of my brighter moments in life.
I am really PMSing right now, irritated etc, been a lil rough ALL week , dayum I got at least five more days til relief comes on LOL….
I want some pickles, those new lil Vlasic mini joints, I ate two jars round this time last month LOL
I wanna go iceskating, if I had bought some thick socks would’ve gone at lunchtime, but its always better at night
I keep dreaming about someone I vowed to get past, I hate that!!
1.I don’t know what the Great Watermelon Fiasco of 1994 is. Please edumacate me
2.I wrote something mean in someone’s honesty box on facebook. He told me to suck his salty balls. I said “people don’t even do that you moron!”, thus I’ve never heard of tea bagging… I’m 24 years old.
3.I grew up with a seventh-day Adventist family, praise myself for being anti-pork yet I’m in love with pepperoni and found out 3 weeks ago that it’s made out of pork…
4.I’m only 24 years old and found a white as snow, ancient looking pubic hair. *le sigh* I sat in the bathroom and cried for an hour…there goes my love life
5.I still cry when Simba climbs pride rock
6.I am a heterosexual who had a threesome with Panamanian rasta girls during my study abroad experience. Talk about an experience…
7.I have a crush on the Esurance insurance cartoon girl with the pink hair do…I’m sorry but she’s fly
8.I still don’t know the meaning of “tossing the salad”, “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”, “cookies and apple juice”
9.”Hit me baby one more time” is my favorite song. Yes I’m a black girl and I love Britney Spears.
10.Last but not least, I am a very prideful Haitian American who loves running into morons like BigBuck comment 31, who says “Was Haiti sending aid to the Katrina victims”. What? you wanted us to send sugarcane and bring our machetes? Know your history big fella. Much of Haiti’s and Central America’s current problems go back to Reagan’s economic policies. The United States owes Haiti 100% humanitarian support due to exploitation. I know this is Friday Fun, but I had to get serious and set it straight.
@Tee,
“5.I still cry when Simba climbs pride rock”
I love you for this. It’s the music, dag nabbit! That music be affecting ninjas!
I haven’t had consistent cable for most of my life. Had it at 7, then sparingly in undergrad, then about 8 months when I first moved to DC, for a summer in 2008, nothing since.
I’m a huge PBS fan. Bill Moyer and Bob Ross got me through.
I think I’ve been attracted to older women since I was 16. My first? Twenty-nine, which brings me to..
Gave virginity away at 23 in a foreign country during Peace Corps. I specifically told her but she wasn’t really listening during foreplay.
Turned down an offer to sleep with 4 women, one after the other. (long story)
The relationship I’m in is the first one I’ve been in.
Extremely vain. If there’s anything with a reflection, I will look.
I have never used hot sauce. On anything.
When I was young, I saw a bike I liked so I simply switched. Five-o showed up and I convinced my parents and the other kid’s parents that it was a trade gone wrong.
I used to shoplift Playboy’s until I turned 18. One time I was lifting movies out of a Suncoast store and I tripped the alarm. I turned and walked back in and made it seem like it was my keys. Walked to an aisle, put the movie back and while holding my keys walked out the store.
Watching someone take a big hit in football, or dunk on someone in basketball can bring tears to my eyes from excitement.
I can’t watch mindless TV. Never been able to.
I had a chance to be with the most popular girl in HS. She sent her friend to mediate. The only words I heard (because she had such a soft voice) were, (The girl’s name). I didn’t hear another word.
I had a chance to be in a relationship with this bad French and Hawaiian redbone while at Ariz. St. Still not exactly sure why I turned her down. All I can do is shake my head at that one.
@Stank-0,
One more. I used to hate wearing dress clothes, now I love it. I’m sure vanity has something to do with it, but I look good in dress clothes.
@Stank-0,
“The relationship I’m in is the first one I’ve been in. ”
Me too.
@Stank-0,
“I’m a huge PBS fan. Bill Moyer and Bob Ross got me through. ”
I am too. Bill Moyer, NOW, and Frontline are some of my favorite shows.
1. my parents took me to the doctor when i was around 2 years old because i’d never talk or cry, and they were scared that something was wrong with me. after a few tests, the doc told them (quoting my mom) “he’s fine. he just doesn’t say anything because he just…doesn’t feel like it”. i think this story says everything you need to know about me
2. i have no idea whether or not i can fight or take a punch because i havent been in a fight since i was in 6th grade, and i havent been hit by someone (outside of a elbow or something from basketball) since 5th.
3. a couple months ago, i completed the “triflin trifecta” (what happens when you’re on the toilet and you realize that you dont have any toilet paper, paper towels, or napkins)
to rectify this stinky situation, i ran into my bedroom and grabbed an old t-shirt to wipe myself with. since this t-shirt was bearing the name of a company that decreased funding to my program this year, the wipe was strangely cathartic.
4. despite being acutely aware of the storylines, characters, and plots of each of these movies, ive never seen “love jones” or “love and basketball”, and i’ve never watched “the best man” all the way through. before, not seeing any of these flicks was a product of circumstance. now, its a point of pride.
5. i have a thing for movie/tv series soundtracks. among the soundtracks in my collection are the score from “glory”, the music from both kill bills, and the songs used on the series “twin peaks”.
6. i think most vsb-ers would be very surprised by how much of an introvert i am if they ever met me.
7. i could eat breakfast food anytime of the day. i am never not in the mood for bacon and eggs and sh*t
8. between the ages of 21 and 26, i probably faked at least 20 orgasms. it wasnt that the sex was bad. i was just ready leave/eat/watch the game/to go to bed
@The Champ,
“8. between the ages of 21 and 26, i probably faked at least 20 orgasms. it wasnt that the sex was bad. i was just ready leave/eat/watch the game/to go to bed”
Glad to see I’m not the only one who’s mastered the lost art of the “fake nut”
@Bobby Drake, Men do that? – crazy
@Yeah…SO?!,
You’d be surprised. I’m not gonna make it seem like I give the skeet pump fake all the time. But I’d be lying if I said men don’t do it. Sometimes there are just other things that you want to do, and you beat to save face, keep your gal happy, or just to pass the time.
Or sometimes you’re just lazy and don’t “really” want to put for the effort of laying pipage, but the lady friend you’re with is all hot and bothered, clutchin her pearls and what not. So you do work anyway, even though you’d be perfectly content with rubbin one out, just to not have to hear her mouth…
Although I did this more when I was still earning my stripes so to speak. Now I value my time so much that if I don’t wanna do it, then I won’t…Thats what rabbits are for, just make sure you got your 8 pack of duracell on deck just in case…
@Bobby Drake,
” the skeet pump fake ”
Thank you for having my co-worker look at me crazy.
*sniggling*
@Bobby Drake, I see what you sayin but… why is this so hard for me? (no pun)
@The Champ,
“6. i think most vsb-ers would be very surprised by how much of an introvert i am if they ever met me. ”
Aw. I actually am too, Champ. I’m the “takes a while to warm up” type. I don’t get this showy and goofy until you’ve known me for a min.
Your list is hilarious by the way. I love number 1. lol
@Cheekie, yeah, me 3!!! i’m a total introvert.
this is me being quiet.
*me*
@Panama Jackson,
LMAO!!! Boy!
@Panama Jackson,
LOL!
Why you gotta be so foolish?
@Cheekie,
Also, I got a kick outta you saying “me 3″. I was like, “Yeah, we know you are”.
@The Champ,
O_O *reminds myself to NEVER ask to use Champs restroom if the much discussed VSB bbq ever happens*…eeewww Champ, lol
@Smiley Face, second that- cuz I was like “so there were NO showers around?”- gross.
@The Champ, “i have no idea whether or not i can fight or take a punch because i havent been in a fight since i was in 6th grade, and i havent been hit by someone (outside of a elbow or something from basketball) since 5th. ”
Oh em gee, I’ve never been in a real fight. (family don’t count)
@The Champ, dude, the “triflin trifecta” one had me hunched over my desk in pain from laughing so hard.
i’m still laughing.
@Panama Jackson,
You too?
Champie…you’re a mess. Dayum!
@The Champ, Soundtracks/Scores certain ones I love..and esp loved the theme from Twin Peaks-had it on cassette LOL
scores form Bladerunner. Total Recall, Wolf, Legend, Bram Stokers Dracula, V for Vendetta, The Company of Wolves etc etc etc…
School Daze one of my fav soundtracks, Wild Orchid, Some kind of Wonderful etc etc etc
@The Champ,
the music from both kill bills,
I love those soundtracks!!!
Confession
**giving the scared side eye**
I didnt like the movie “Friday”! There I said it!
@Mme. Editor-In-Chief,
I think you are the first person that I’ve heard say that.
@Humble_One, I didn’t either. Me and my homegirl were the only ones *not* laughing in the theatre with an entire audience of black folk.
@Mme. Editor-In-Chief, i can’t be mad at that.
i think “don’t be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood” is not only better but its a funnier movie.
i still like Friday though, just not as much as everybody else.
though friday after next has so many classic lines.
Oh, I meant to add this but wanted to make a separate thread for any other of the same type of confessions. We were talking about “OCD tendencies” at work (you know, when folks have obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies but not enough where it controls their life or where they’d get officially diagnosed with it) and I have a couple:
1. I have to wake up by an alarm clock every morning. Not the radio, but the annoying alarm tone rone “beep-beep-beep”. I hate being late, so when I set my alarm, I probably obsessively check it 50-leven times before I can go to sleep. Something in my brain says double check to be cautious, but the rational part of my brain knows I definitely checked it. Still, I have to triple-check. lol
2. I can’t step on dried up gum on the sidewalk. So, while I do look ahead of me and where I’m going. I have to glance at the ground to make sure I’m not stepping on it. Something about it is so gross and I just can’t do it. And I get super anxious when it’s a lot of it on the ground. You know how some folks are about not stepping on cracks on the sidewalks, I’m like that with year old dried up gum. SMH. Weird.
@Cheekie,
“I probably obsessively check it 50-leven times before I can go to sleep. Something in my brain says double check to be cautious, but the rational part of my brain knows I definitely checked it. Still, I have to triple-check. lol”
I can never remember if I do little things like lock the door, flush the toilet, set the alarm, etc. and I always go back to check. Even if I see that I did it, I do it again like 5 times just to make sure.
@Cheekie, Ditto on number one, except mine is set on radio.
@Caballeroso,
Yeah, for some reason radio doesn’t work for me. I can sleep right through it. It has to be that annoying and obnoxious sound to get me to wake up. It’s the WTF-ness of the sound, I guess. lol
@Cheekie,
For real? If I wake up to that screeching beep I just wanna throw the alarm clock. I wake up angry to that beep.
Music it is.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah it gets on my nerves, but that’s the reason I wake up. If it’s too soothing and pleasant, I’m still sleeping.
That alarm clock (though hella annoying) is why I have a job. lol
@Cheekie, on some OCD tangent, I have to wash my hands after eating, I hate the smell or feel of food on my hands, Oh and this includes washing my hands after I have eaten and food never touched my hands, and even if I am going to use the bathroom, if I have eaten first I will wash my hands and then use the toilet.
weird? I know
@Cheekie,
Ok. Dried up gum? It’s stuck to the ground so you don’t have to worry about taking it with you after you accidentally step on it.
Hahahaha!
Ok….I got a confession for ya…want to hear it…here it goes…..
1. I had a patient (I am an endoscopy tech) who had living, wiggling, crawling, parasitic worms in his colon, so I now I check the bowl after I go, before I flush….I live in fear something is crawling around in me.
2. I have a crush on the post Thriller-Pre Bad Michael Jackson…(I know hes gone ya’ll) but when I see pics or video from that era I still get butterflies in my stomach.
3. Sometimes I suck in my lil tummy, and pull my shoulders back and do sexy poses in the mirror and think…”If I was stupid and wanted to pose in a mens mag…I don’t think I’d look too bad” then I let it all hang and think “hmmmm….I need to bet back in the gym.
4. I have some adult videos on my pc in a hidden and password protected folder and when my man asks for some lovin’ and I am dead tired or not in the mood, I drink a red bull or monster and peek at a few scenes and get my rodeo on….He thinks its all about him…..
5. I have been lurking on this site for years but all ya’ll seemed like a close knit lil’ fam, so I never posted even though I was dying to post….just didn’t want to intrude….
@WonderWoman, we appreciate the intrusion.
yay!!!!!
@Panama Jackson, Thank you!
@WonderWoman,
“5. I have been lurking on this site for years but all ya’ll seemed like a close knit lil’ fam, so I never posted even though I was dying to post….just didn’t want to intrude….”
I kinda felt that way before joining, but then also noticed how welcolming everyone was here with the diva dust and whatnot. Also, it helped that I knew resident Mama BBMo from Stuff Black People Hate. Ok, that’s not why. Seriously, though. This VSB family is like a sponge. And you’re the water.
…
o_O That sounds gross.
Let’s just say we are always welcoming of more members of the family. I mean, we accepted WuDaMan didn’t we? I wasn’t here since its inception either. I mean, you have to be new at one point, right?
@Cheekie, Right….I guess I should I confess I hate being a newbie…I like being comfortable and knowing everything and everybody, but I feel welcome so I’m gonna keep on running my mouth….
@WonderWoman,
Gotcha! That’s a valid feeling and not uncommon. Glad you’re here.
@Cheekie, Thanks…Glad to be here
one of Gem’s true confessions (because an incident JUST happened…)
-i get insanely jealous when im the last to find out or not the first to find out about something from a close friend. i dont know why i have this obsession but i always feel some kinda way about hearing big news after other “lesser” ppl (lol) hear about it.
por ejemplo: my labmate, the only other chica in the lab besides me, just told me i was going to be an “auntie”. i couldnt even express my true excitement because she told the lab tech first! and im such an @$$ for it but i was like thats great but why did you tell HIM before ME?!?! im your bestie in lab!! *sigh & smh*
i hate this about myself because i dont do a very good job of hiding my jealousy. deep down inside i know its not that serious. but it is at the same time. obviously. ugh! the paradox that is my life… *hangs head in shame*
@Gem of the Ocean, you embarass me. you embarass yourself.
joking.
poor gemmie.
@Gem of the Ocean, aww e*prima… Im dont hang your head in shame admitting it is a step in the right direction
*wondering if she should tell Gemmy about her current crush*
This is my first time commenting…but I am on the site religiously.
1) I am addicted to cleaning products. I give my bathroom and kitchen a thorough cleaning twice a week just to smell the products. During my time of the month I wash my hands with comet cleanser because otherwise I don’t feel like my hands are clean. (weird I know)
2) I hate Oprah! She’s done nothing personal to me but for some reason everytime I see her my teeth itch…she just does something to me.
3) I am addicted to VH1 and all of their foolishenss. Monday night I had to have lost about 30 IQ points. For the Love of Ray J 2, Fantasia for real (or whatever), and Let’s talk about Pep. Trust me I am none the wiser.
4) When I first turned 18 I wanted to be a video chick so bad…I used to practice watching BET Videos and doing ridiculous excercises/diets to make sure my body was right. LOL..knowing I would never actually attempt it. The funniest part is I’m a PK and we weren’t allowed to listen to secular music, so I had to sneak and watch the videos when I was home alone. LOL
@chicagochick,
1) I am addicted to cleaning products. I give my bathroom and kitchen a thorough cleaning twice a week just to smell the products. During my time of the month I wash my hands with comet cleanser because otherwise I don’t feel like my hands are clean. (weird I know)
Yeah, that’s a huge tambourine slap!!! If it doesn’t say/smell “clorox clean” I don’t buy it…and for me it’s daily!
*I also spray clorox cleaner in the toilet anytime I go…onesies OR twosies…*
@chicagochick, welcome and sh*t my really clean friend.
@chicagochick,
*dying* @ Oprah making your teeth itch.
Oh, and because I feel compelled to do this (your username has somethin’ to do with it..lol): Chi-Town represent!
*reads post up and down*
I ain’t confessin’ shyt! *riley voice* NO SNITCHIN’!
Ummm…geez, some of this is REALLY unhealthy…
1. When I find out a celebrity/role model cheats (without consent) I instantly dislike that person. (Hence my refusal to do anything celebratory for MLK day…yeah I said it!)
2. I’m a pesce~vegetarian, but occasionally, I walk by Popeyes (regional) and just INHALE…
3. I only watch Iron Chef in the hopes that someone will dethrone Bobby Flay’s smug arse!
4. Occasionally…deep in the night, when the S.O is asleep…I fondle my own breasts…(geez, they are luscious!)
5. I had a girl crush on Wilem Dafoe and David Bowie…(just shut up!)
6. I got the “heartless” tag alot when I was dating because I’d NEVER call you back after a slap and tickle fest…(I accomplished this by erasing your number as I left your crib…)
7. I’ve recently become addicted to those “fist pumping guidos”…geeeeez, how racist!
That’s all for now…
@Tenchi, I’m like this too!!!! I actually used to adore A. Keys but after this whole “home-wrecking” debacle whenever I hear her on the radio I turn automatically. I even cleared out my itunes. I sorta feel bad because its judgemental but meh, it’s the way of the world as I see it.
@Tenchi, 4. Occasionally…deep in the night, when the S.O is asleep…I fondle my own breasts…(geez, they are luscious!)
this is oddly interesting.
@Panama Jackson, oddly? nah, that’s downright riveting, and etched in my brain for the remainder of the day.
@Panama Jackson,
“Occasionally…deep in the night, when the S.O is asleep…I fondle my own breasts…(geez, they are luscious!)”
between this comment and shay d lady’s first comment yesterday I think the VSBs may have to implement some type of rule requiring pics with certain comments.
Humble_One, I co-sign that motion.
@Panama Jackson, Gracias
1. I cried on Edward Scissorhands – b/c Johnny Depp never got true hands and he was stuck in raggedy house chopping ice. I was sad when Mufasa (sp?) from the Lion King got thrown into the hyenas.
2. First kiss at 18
3. Didn’t like greens, sweet potatoes or any other soul food until I was 20
3. I refer to 2520s as n!#%as too
4. I have an occasional phobia of sex – too many years of catholic school abstinence classes and my grandma showing me every single teenage pregnant girl in the neighborhood saying “this is what happens when you have sex & no one’s going to take care of your babies for you”; and every single lifetime show (i.e. 15 and pregnant,etc.), but love doing oral
5. I like Led Zepplin, Mudvayne, Godsmack and other white semi-demonic rock groups in addition to hip hop
6. I like cooking more than I do eating
7. hate all reality shows, except the Kardasians, don’t know why
8. I assume white ppl are racist by default or until proven innocent, and blk ppl are nuts, but at least I can deal w/these nuts b/c I’m blk
9. I hated all Biggie songs, until he died, now I just tolerate him – Tupac for life
@Cherry_Darling,
I cried on Edward too, Johnny played him so sweet, love Johnny!!!!! LOL
I peed the bed sr. year in HS. I was dreaming I was going in a field n shyt.
I had a wet dream the other night. (I’m too old for that shYt)
I had a kick me sign stuck on my back freshman yr in hs. I was new to public school
I got took down by campus security for trespassing in paddyfoote while egging.
I have streaked n skinny dipped.
@WuDaMan,
You also used to take your Mom’s prenatal books to sneak a peak @ vajs.
once got hit in the eye by the tip of the belt during a woopin.
is ready for his food intervention but not quite
@WuDaMan,
I had a wet dream the other night. (I’m too old for that shYt)
Sh!t, I had one last night!… and if I was bold enough to reveal with whom then this would have been TRUER than true confessions! Lol!
These are my confessions:
I hated being a homeowner and dealing with my house that I let the bank foreclose on my house and walked away from it, surprisingly I am ok with it. Oh and my das could have bailed me out, but at the time I was displeased with him and wanted to get back at him so I waited till it was beyond the point of him being able to help me to do it. (Longer story)
the last year I was at my last full time job, I did nothing but comment on VSB, surf on MySpace, and Facebook all day long.
i trust people way before I should, but when they let me down or violate my trust it is pretty much gone for good
@Intellectual Hedonist, “the last year I was at my last full time job, I did nothing but comment on VSB, surf on MySpace, and Facebook all day long.”
o_O gotta go!
@Yeah…SO?!, left that job to sail around the world for 4 months and gain some perspective and now here I sit at a more prestigious institution with more responsibility commenting on VSB (did I mention I havent done anything all day)
@Intellectual Hedonist, lol- I was kidding… I mean who am I kidding?- really
@Miss t-lee and @ ComicBookGuy :Yay for Texas! Holdin’ it down since 1845… I wish more non 2520s could appreciate music from different narratives.
and @ Panama Jackson…I mean…my own mum says I’ve got a white girl booty. My best friend one day thought she was being clever and said she sponsor me for 25cents a day so I could get one…
I’ve not yet come to grips with not having one…so I’m going to say yes, yes I do.
@KayBeezy,
Yay-ah!! *ala Lil’ Jon
Panama, I would like to point out that you were dumb as sh*t growing up.
Now that that is out of the way, I will proceed to give you some company. You might want to make room.
1. I didn’t know IHOP stood for International House of Pancakes til ’08.
2. I’ve never seen Titanic.
3. I too watch reality TV and have no shame admitting it.
4. My current fave song is “Bedrock” by Lloyd/Lil Wayne ONLY because I absolutely the way Nicki Minaj says “and I keep coming off the top, asbestos!” I usually turn off the song after that.
5. I got my belly pierced behind the staircase near my gym in high school by the renowned school piercer. Til this day I’m scared to get a STD/AIDS check in case the needle wasn’t clean and I caught something.
6. I hate spitting and when I catch someone spit, I too have to spit in order to cleanse myself of the awful memory.
7. I stepped on every crack on the way home all of 5th grade. If I missed one, I would go back and step on it. This was before I found out about the “break your mamma’s back” part.
8. Used to be when someone makes me mad and I don’t know how to address it, I would purposely start a fight with pre-rehearsed lines and then thoroughly ream them. Now I’m more mature. : D
9. I listen to classical music on my way home from work when it’s dark because I somehow think it will protect me from harm. I can’t even EXPLAIN this one.
10. I like stale Nachos and cheese puffs. yah
11. In new environments, I can’t take a crap for like 2 weeks. I know that’s super gross. My body has since stabilized.
@lulu,
“11. In new environments, I can’t take a crap for like 2 weeks. I know that’s super gross. My body has since stabilized.”
So, like when you move into a new crib, it must be torture, right?
@Cheekie,
not if it’s MY new crib.
if i went camping, or was a guest at your crib then im not going. same as my first year in college in the dorms. i swear it felt like a month before the real deal happened.
I sincerely apologize for all the grammatical errors above.
“In new environments, I can’t take a crap for like 2 weeks. I know that’s super gross. My body has since stabilized.”
Me too…
iDied at this post and most of the comments… ya’ll crazy….
before i share my own embarrassment, I’m doing a Prince/Diddy move… all my past comments were under the name Eks Mah but i figured something that brings to mind music (XM radio) may be better than rashes & itchy skin (eczema)… yeah i know, lol!
1. @Panama i too took an L for fake Mary Jane… one summer me and my cousin Jermaine decided to empty some Lipton tea bags, roll the contents in the paper that vinyls come in and smoke it… we thought we were faded, in the house listening to MJ’s you are not alone on blast… my mom and aunt came in from their hair appt and whipped our arses
2. I love the smell of new books… so much so that sometimes I lick the pages (something about the smell just makes it seem like it’d be chalky *shrugs*)
3. to this day i may have a sex tape that i don’t know about… the summer of my sophomore year of undergrad i worked in a convenience store, the manager asked me to work 3rd shift one night, so my boyfriend at the time decided to come keep me company… long story short we’re in the back stocking the freezer, i had on a skirt and leaned over… he saw his meal and began to dine from behind… needless to say no work got done that night, and i didn’t think about the security cameras that my manager reviewed every morning until after she walked into her office…
4. the movie Paranormal Activity punked me back into saying my prayers… I was fine in the theater but could not sleep for like 3 days once i got home… the subconscious is a mother…
5. I won’t eat fresh tomatoes but love tomato based condiments (salsa, ketchup)
6. I say the word n*gga more than any curse word… while I was employed at the NAACP National Offices i said it in the office at least 36 times a day, like even while in Detroit burying the n-word *futile*
7. uhhhhm…. I am legally banned from every Wal-Mart in America… true story… they gotta catch me first, lol! …. while speaking of legal infringements… I almost caught a criminal offense for being on the light rail in Baltimore with a senior/disabled discounted fare pass
8. I live in DC & for some odd reason have a fantasy about having sex on the Metro late late at night, like coming back from a club or something… but that’ll never come to fruition
@Legendary Dash,
“How did getting it handed to you in the battle of the bands at The Classic feel this year? You guys were completely outclassed.”
You must have seen what Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles saw. My band was great! (even according to some of the rattlers I know)
*yawn* *sigh* Must every FAMUite always fall back on the “our band is better than your band” spiel?
The game itself….you all slammed us there, but the bands? C’mon, Legend!
*peeks in* Still on this confession shyt eh?
This is kinda cleansing…
1) When I was younger I used to LOOOOOVE the smell of Payless…its like a combo of Windex and Vinyl..mmmmmmmm
2) I tried weed once in my whole life, literally. I only hit the blunt one time, word got around high school, and for my whole sophmore year I was called “The One Hit Wonder”.
3) I got suspended from Catholic school in kindergarten because I got caught yellilng out the line from House Party 2 ” Do you smell that?…yeeah I do I smeeeel Pu**y!”. The Sisters were not amused.
4) I’m a terrible listener, Ive mastered the art of going to “my happy place” when people talk about shyt im not interested in. But I can still recite the speaker’s bland babble verbatim.
5) When I get my hands on a pair of heels that Ive been lusting after, I stroke them…and call them “My Precious”.
*straight face*
@Misty Knight,
#3 had me dying!!!
#4 is a skill. show me the ways wise one….
My confessions…
1. I don’t like greens
2. When I was younger I had to sneak kool-aid, my mom didn’t let us drink it said it was “diabetes in a cup”
3. I’m vegan (and black) but my friends insist that I’m temporarily on the “white girls diet” *eye roll* (actually its quite funny)
4. I go to Clark Atlanta University but due to black on black stereotypes everyone (even my family for a while) thinks I attend Spelman *sigh*
5. I once “accidently” elbowed my ex in the balls. Although I was consolong him deep down I thought it was kind of funny
Been lurking for a only little while. I think it was only last month, but I am SO grateful for finding VSB and this is one of the funniest posts I’ve come across on here so far…
My confessions — in no particular order.
I am an atheist AND not ashamed of it.
I have never seen Coming to America. I DVR’d it, but haven’t watched it. I don’t know how to Electric Slide. I’m not into rap/hip-hop. I don’t use “Negro dialect” <= j/k etc Threats of black card revocation have been made.
I daydream about developing amnesia and being able to start a new life without the guilt of knowing that I'm leaving people I know behind (relatives mostly).
I had my first kiss and feel-up in Pre-K (age 3 or 4). Got busted in Catholic school in the coat closet.
I love cow foot, liver, and cartilage/gristle (like on chicken wings nubs). [I am Jamaican American]. But, draw the line @ Mannish Water AKA Cow Cod (or Goat cod) soup.
I (sort of/mostly) care about human kind and helping the species, but am a total misanthrope and for some reason other people tend to make me homicdal. On a any given day, it's a race to an anger management class or something.
Love Golden Girls, Columbo, Matlock, and Qunicy MD. They are among my all time fave shows.
I actually like to spend (some of) my time doing nothing. Mindless, thoughtless nothingness.
Random co-sign snatches from other posts:
Love Bob Ross too. I used to feel so odd being young and black and just loving the hell outta him & PBS.
I wish I had the confidence (and body) to be a stripper.
Guilty of liking Joisey Shore too. Bad Girls Club — I run LA B*tches! Natalie is a f*cking crazy ass chick.
Oprah makes me sick & has for years. Used to love her before I went to college, but she lost her shine in my eyes years ago.
Share the desire to be "taking care of." I would love to never work another day of my life. I would NOT mind being kept.
Don't want kids. I am so happy I found a doctor to make it 99%impossible even though other people think it's crazy & unwomanly to not want to be a mother.
And of course — but not really a confession — LOVING VSB and unnu have me dying laughing. I have a lot of catching up to do.
I love this blog.
And n**ger, n**gah, n*g’, even nizzle, all bother me, in any context for any reason. But ninja does not. Not exactly, anyway. That makes me a little bit happy.
@Sula
And people sleep on Rodeo Houston (hopefully that’s the one you’re ready for, the biggest and best 
)
I’m an adopted Texasn too
I’m on the West Coast of France in a little town called Les Sables d’Olonne. Second oldest population in France. Haha. But it’s cool…
P.S. Speaking of confessions, I think I’m calling myself hurt,because I don’t remember getting a welcome and ish on here…
but I’m a big girl and big girls don’t cry.
I love Brit pop. 80s, 90s, electropop. Especially British. “Top of the pops” could do no wrong.
I moved to a new school and deliberately answered a question wrong because the (white) teacher looked as if she was going to die cos I already got 5 right. Apparently Nigerian children werent meant to know ruby meant red, emerald – green, fuschia – pink, I dliberately flunked fawn. Im still pissed to this day that I did.
I hate bananas but love banana cake. I eat them now cos I have a ulcer.
I loved dolly parton
OK, ya’ll:
I’ll be 45 this year and I am addicted to all the black sex sites and gossip sites
I’m secretly afraid that I live the life of a teenager and that people think I’m immature, but despite all that, I feel like in some ways I’m having the best time of my life and that could be because I’m not married nor do I have kids or a “real” job
It’s funny listening to y’all younger people worried about shit that won’t matter to you at all 10-20 years from now
I have had not one, not two, but three threesomes in my life, but never one that involved girl-on-girl action (no one knows this but you folks and the folks I was in them with)
I secretly envy some of my Facebook friends who DO have husbands and kids and great gigs…although I know at this point that no matter how good it looks on the outside, that doesn’t mean it’s poppin’ like you think it is
I am not a perv, but I did love being the “cool auntie” for the large group of teenage boys that hung out with my nieces last summer
I hate most reality TV and think people who watch it are truly stupid (sorry!) But damn, youguns pick up a book sometime! I realize most of it is street lit these days….so write one then!
I hate watermelon, I didn’t like chicken until I was in my 30′s, I didn’t learn to drive until I was 31 and I can’t remember anything about the movie “Friday”
When I took the Facebook test to determine how black I was, I came out as “mostly white” and I knew it was true
The only celebrity death that really impacted me was Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes which depressed me seriously for days
The only major tragedy that affected me was Katrina. Although I feel awful about what happened in Haiti, all I can think about these days is the sex I’m having with my younger lover after years of celibacy
I do have Haitian friends and I do think it’s awful but I only gave $1 to the American Red Cross, I’ve learned to distance myself from huge tragedies like this one it’s just too much BUT domestic violence murders do stick with me and affect me and I don’t know why
I couldn’t understand why people were so shocked that Michael Jackson died young another tragedy that didn’t really impact me that much…I mean, if it was Prince that would have been different but neither one of them are family…
I think black ghetto girls are trashy and loud, but when I see a group of white girls at the mall I think they are cute (but thankfully, I also think this way about non-ghetto black girls)
I think people who talk all the time about Jesus and spout Scripture and are hardcore Christians are assholes
My homegirl got married last year and since then she’s become judgemental and insufferable as she now thinks that religion and marriage are the key to all of life’s ills. I mean I know she’s happy but I also know that this is the same chick who was helping a married man in jail she was madly in love with beforehand and that she married a much older man for money and security so please, ma, ease up….
I mentally measure whether a big chick can sit next to me on public transportation and am disgusted when their fat asses try to squeeze into a seat they clearly can’t fit…but I’m not skinny myself….
I truly want to fuck people up who talk loud on cell phones in public
I could care less about every new technological advancement – Droid, Google phones, Mac tablets, etc. because I’m barely keeping up with what’s out there now
I fantasize about sex with a darkskinned NFL player with long locks tatts and a hard body – even though my current lover is lightskinned and slim and would probably have to be paid to ever loc his hair, nor does he have a single tattoo
I have had sex with an NFL player or two…(but not at the same time) and their bodies ARE ridiculous but they didn’t have locs then
I am afraid that you young folks will judge me but hell, I don’t really give a damn, it is what it is! LOL (just so y’all know that is the true gift of age)
@empirestategirl,
“I hate most reality TV and think people who watch it are truly stupid (sorry!) But damn, youguns pick up a book sometime! I realize most of it is street lit these days….so write one then!”
most ppl would disagree (me included). former pre-med in the house!! haha.
but my days off work, i am wedged into a corner of Borders reading for hours. And I hate street lit. I will salivate over any book that that has Nobel Prize winner stamp on it.
just tryna say, generalization is a crutch of the ignorant (or stupid).
@lulu,
bless you sweetie…and i don’t say that patronizingly! i’m just glad that there is somebody out there who is still interested in reading good stuff just for pleasure. don’t get me wrong, i read junk too, and there are a few black classics cough *native son* cough that i haven’t, and probably should have read. I am especially saddened that with the publishing industry suffering so much that it’s far easier for them to sign a cheap street lit author than find and develop any future baldwins, hughes, etc. because that’s what sells.
so lulu, i didn’t mean to generalize a whole generation i just hope we are still creating future writers – and readers – out there.
<3
Long time lurker first time commenter and I almost didn’t comment now since serval days have went by but people are still commenting and hopefully still reading.
1. If I cant fall asleep i will look up porn on my phone and masterbate
2. I have lied to a guy about how many men I have slept with but now no longer keep count and couldn’t give you an accurate number just a justamation.
3. I am obessed with twitter and often find myself talking and typing in twitter speak in my daily life.
4. I did the #2 on myself when I was 9 years old while waiting for my grandmother to finish shopping in the grocery store as me, my 2 cousins, and my grandfather waited in the car ( my grandfather had alziehmers and we were actually watching him). The car had an alarm on it so I couldn’t open the door to go in the store. When my grandmother got in the car she thought it was my grandfather and I let her thinks this. To this day I am 25 my cousins will randomly call me doo doo Life of a Lush and we all bust up laughing.
5. This is the first time i have ever read all of the comments on a posting of any blog that had more than 30 comments.
6. I love sweets so much that there has been time I have went to an expensive steakhouse and only order the dessert which is by far the cheapest thing on the menu.
7. The summer between my freshman and sophmore year in college I the only way I was able to keep myself nurished was by going on dates. So if you got my number during that time I didn’t care what you looked like I would pretend to be interested so that I could possible eat one day while out with you. And I never went hungry that entire summer.
I thinks that enough hopefully someone cares enough to read all the way to the bottom.
haha
Welcome and thanks for delurking!!!
@Life of a Lush,
I know my count…I’ve kept a list. But it would have to be pried out of my cold dead hands before it would ever see the light of day….