If you’re a cat who’s girl has gotten on him about coming up short in the sack, fret no more. In fact, if you can give her at least 3 minutes of that good lovin’ then you’re giving her all she needs. According to CNN, the optimal amount of time for a sexual encounter-not including foreplay-lasts anywhere from 3 to 13 minutes.
Go on ahead and read the article. Quick now, I’ll wait.
*humming Keith Sweat’s “Make It Last Forever”*
Yes, you read that correctly.
Me love you long time like hell!
You know what that means right? If you’ve been doing-the-Draino for 15 minutes, well pimpin’, you’re definitely going out of your way. Hell, she should be making you steak sandwiches.
Speaking of steak, from here on out, every time I hit 14 minutes I’m going to start humming “Chariots of Fire” and then delve right into Kanye West’s “Champion”.
This also means that there are a lot of liars out their in the world. “Girl, I need a man who can go 8 hours…minimum!”
Virgin.
“I don’t even be gettin’ mines unless I stroke for like 2 hours…STRAIGHT.”
Yeah…okay, dude.
Which begs the question, if the optimal amount of time is so short, why in the hell do women have the audacity to be disappointed because dude only gave her 10 minutes of the long stroke? Technically, you should feel blessed that he decided to give you 7 more minutes than was required. In fact fellas, take further solace in the fact that you can pretty much put a smile on her face in 4 minutes and not really miss any of the game that just went into halftime. Shucks if you’re feeling froggy, you can give her the Colgate smile, take a shower, cook a meal, and STILL not really miss any action.
Now ladies I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way in hell you can get yours in 3-13 minutes. And to you I say…you’re a lie. Granted, 3 minutes would suck as a sexual encounter, however, I’ve known I’ve heard of women who’ve been able to get theirs well within that 13 minute period, sometimes more than once…leaving ME men, still trying to get my their jollies.
Bottom line here, dudes, don’t even worry about trying to show her that you can go all night. As long as you can do better than optimal (say 14 minutes of that good long strokin’), then she should shut the smurf up, have a Coke, then smile.
“don’t get mad ladies…I’m only being real…”
And for you anti-geniuses, optimal means most favorable.
The end.
-PANAMA
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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I wish somebody WOULD bring 3-minute game to the court.
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LOL…mannnn…no matter how many studies say this, you KNOW the ladies ain’t gonna believe it or agree with it….
Plus time is a a perspective thing…you know? “But…but…but..it felt like 20 minutes!!!!”….AND IT DOES!!! When in reality it was like 3 minutes…I’m not saying that’s me…cuz you know! The Killa is…well THE KILLA…just saying!
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you know, when you combine that with this…
“…But Daniels, Trojan’s vice president of marketing, divulges a potentially devastating secret: The Magnum isn’t any larger than Trojan’s other condoms. Its comfortable fit is due to an innovative “baseball bat” shape. The length and circumference are identical to those of other lines…”
(http://men.style.com/details/blogs/details/2008/02/post.html)
…lets just say that theres ALOT of frontin going on about what actually happens in the bedroom.
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Liz Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:35 am
See, but this is where the Magnum XL comes in and takes the trophy. From what I’ve heard. Just sayin. Ahem.
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Xquizzyt1 Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I KNEW IT!!!
I know someone who buys Magnums exclusively claiming that they are more comfortable… and umm… as I shared with a friend… he’s more of a .22 than a Magnum. ROFLMAO
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I cant even comment on this maddness..
3 – 13 mins? Damn homie gotta come stronger than that w/ me. *literally*
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I for one was glad to read that news report. Because frankly, sometimes you just need to get some sleep.
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calina Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Amen…zzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Well, I hate to admit it, but hey, I work 13 hour days and I prefer to be in bed by 10pm. Ten good minutes of play coupled with a a hint of foreplay can get me through most weeknights. I need my sleep.
The weekends are a different story. Sometimes.
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:32 am
see, this is what I’m talking about. when you’re having sex on a regular basis (at least 3 times per week is my definition of “regular”) most sessions aren’t gonna be marathons. I honestly think that, like p alluded in the post, excessively idealistic assumptions about sex is a true sign of someone who isn’t getting very much of it
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Liz Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:36 am
If that’s true then I guess it all evens out in the end? Or perhaps it’s different for single people vs. coupled people?
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6 minutes panama, you’re on…o-o-on, o-o-on…
i got 5 on it just took on a whole different meaning.
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ladyb Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
o- o- on… on baby on…
what you know ’bout that df?!
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Ummmm, this research is clearly done by a group of men who last three minutes and needed a self-esteem boost for their sexual performance. lol I’m convinced.
Three minutes just sounds depressing.
@The Champ – So the Magnum comment is very interesting. I wonder if every man buys a pack of Magnums at least once and tries them on to see if they can fill one out? If they really are the same size as regular condoms, it has to suck if they don’t fit huh? lol
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:45 am
the guy in the article spoke on how the popularity of the magnum has more to do with its “mystique” with its shiny wrapper, than anything else. The preference is more of a psychological/mental than physical thing
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D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Queen–LOL! Yeah, that has to suck. And to go back to one of the comments from the other topics…it must suck even more if that bad boy covers your balls. damn, damn, damn! That’s when abstinence becomes the only reasonable form of protection (from disease/pregnancy and ridicule).
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@The Queen – See, the article says that for men AND women the optimal time is 3 to 13 minutes. Hell, they gave the women the stopwatches. Truth be told, women who swear up and down you need long ass marathon sessions all the time anyway are just selfish bastards who dont care about global warming or littering – and probably not getting any anyway.
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Panama is smoking ganja (sp?)!!!! Slefish my arse…that a crock of shat! If that’s the case…women need to cut the BJ time down from 2 minutes to 30 seconds…lol…heck, it’s enough right?
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
That should have said *selfish (lol)
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
actually, the article made no mention of foreplay of which a BJ would fall squarely. however, i think the point the article alludes to is that it would seem that you probably get diminishing returns after a certain point, hence the optimal time.
why go for 45 minutes when all the benefit was received after 15. at some point you’re just humping cuz you have nothing better to do.
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
LOL.
15 minutes just isn’t enough unless you’re on the side of 495 and trying to get a quickie (key word: quickie) in before the cops pull up behind you.
Xquizzyt1 Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I heard that if you’re working the BJ, then from the time you start til the time you hear, “Wait! Wait! Wait!!!” Should only be a little over 30 seconds anyway! LOL *shrugging* That’s just what I heard. LOL
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This new empirical data opens up a lot of possibilities…I think I’m going to test drive a new pick-up line (just for kicks): “Look here sweet thang, I’m going to cut to the chase…research shows that on average it only takes about three minutes to put a young lass, like yo’self, ‘to bed’. And since I’m an overachiever, all I need is about half that. When you’re ready to have your life changed for the better…holla!”
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Grayse Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
LOLOL… That ranks up there with “Wait til you see my…..” as one of the top worst pick up lines- but still entertaining.
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This study also did not include the time preferred on foreplay; this was an average choice of time for the actual act of intercourse. I’d be pissed off if all I got was a titty twist and an ass slap, if that was the case your pump game has to be at least 30 minutes and good at that.
I’m inclined to agree with that study (not including foreplay) because after 40 minutes, something gets cramped or dry or bored or stabbed or numb. Definitely not the 3, but 15 sounds like a good number.
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
“…a titty twist and an ass clap…”
What if you got a titty twist, an ass clap and a scratch ‘n sniff…
THEN throw in 7 minutes and 45 seconds of solid sausage?
LOL.
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Jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Scratch n sniff, huh? That would be the deal breaker, id dry up faster than a desert afternoon. Someone told me I smelled like pistachios once. I didn’t know how to feel.
7 minutes and 45 seconds… someone would HAVE to choke me in order for me to enjoy it at all. bootleg ass study.
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Xquizzyt1 Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I almost choked when I saw the pistachio comment. ROFLMAO!!! I really hate Jess for that. I’m in the library!!! LMAO
calina Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
some times you smell like a nut…sometimes you don’t
jess Reply:
April 9th, 2008 at 2:31 am
yeah I dont know how to feel when people come on the train smelling like jizz… I know that’s not what you meant by nut but it’s 2:30 in the morning, so I do what I want
The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
“stabbed”?
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Liz Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Better than “choked.”
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am
definitely better than ginsu’d.
Jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
i hate u
calina Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I prefer the ol’ choke
genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:34 am
no problem. my pleasure.
genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:35 am
what’s the difference from a stab and a cut?
genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:33 am
prepare for the stabbing. yes. stab. lol
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I’m going to need the madness to stop now! Granted, I have no problem giving the bedroom a tsunami with my dude in less than 15 minutes…that doesn’t mean that’s the same for EVERY woman. Everyone is different and what may work for some will not work for others.
CNN has lost their mind broadcasting some mess as that! Obviously the producer(s) are tired of giving their wives the long stroke so instead are trying to convince the world of the “short stroke”. It’s down right RETARDED!
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
See, think about that…a 15 minute tsunami session probably grants you more of a physical workout than 2 hours of slow grinding and sweet-nothings…
AND youre losing out precious sleep that can be used to re-up again on another 15 minute typhooner.
bottom line, be more health conscious.
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Ummm….I beg to differ.
A real work out is a man putting in his time and efforts to go for giving his mate multi-orgasms. It sucks rocks to have a man’s body weight on top of you for 3 lousy minutes and expect that she gets off on it.
I’d rather eat a twinky and watch Sex in the City before I allow a 3 minute nothing to waste my time.
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Are you sure that was not an April fool’s post on CNN.com? Because it sounds awfully contrived to benefit non performing men. Did anyone stop to think that the women with the stopwatches were wanting the men to stop after three minutes because there was no foreplay and they were probably as dry as the sahara, and therefore the sex was not enjoyable so they feigned an orgasm just to get it over with? Something to ponder. BTW I am in total disagreement with this study and clearly need to get on that research team to be the anomaly of the group.
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
You know Ana, I was thinking the same thing. They had to have had hella KY Jelly in the bedroom to make that go down. The women probably FAKED it so that the dullness would stop.
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The Queen Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
And talk about pressure…these men are trying to perform knowing these women are timing every second of their “quick stroke.” Sounds like bad business for all parties.
It seems unfair for a man to be required to perform when his woman is watching the clock. If the next time I decide to do the horizontal polka, I pulled out a stopwatch upon entry and was like go…that probably wouldn’t go over well. Lmao
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
@TheQueen…you may as well hang it up…I’m sure a dude would go mighty LIMP biscuit if he knew he was being timed for a world freaking study.
LOL
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
OR…dude would do his damndest to try to prove that he could go longer than any other man.
It’s like a shoegame competition. We rock fly shoes for other dudes, not for chicks who just like the colors.
Pride is a helluva drug.
Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Granted pride is a helluva drug…but could you perform (could anybody perform) knowing they were being timed and people were watching them. And I’m speaking of those people who don’t have aspirations of being porn stars!
The Queen Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
What?!?…everyone aspires to be a porn star. Quit faking. lmao
I’ll let yall know how the stopwatch thing goes? jk
panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Of course, I ran track for years and there were stopwatches and thousands of people watching. It was like the porn-olympics, only not at all!
Interesting concept though, I know they have the “Who Busts Fastest Events” but I wonder if the Porn Marathon is really what couple goes the longest.
Xquizzyt1 Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
LMAO One day, while in the post-coital-what’s-on-TV-I’m-hungry-pass-me-the-room-service-menu afterglow, I was propositioned after placing our order, and I challenged the dude to finish before the commercials were over because my favorite show had just come on. That’s really not as bad as it sounds… you had to be there. ROFLMAO He rose to the challenge (so to speak) we were able to get some(more), I was able to finish watching my show AND we were done before room service knocked on the door. A win-win… everyone was happy! The moral of the story? There is value in being with someone who knows what he’s doing. LOL
And I STILL say that if someone is truly putting it down, time would be the last thing on your mind. =)
Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
it also begs the question are these set partners? Couples already in partnership with one another? What level of intimate knowledge do they have of each other? In all honesty I really need more information been regarding this research project. And last point regarding this FLAWED research. As someone who has done scholarly research, you can skew your research to get the results you want and there are multiple ways to do this, in this case not taking into account the amount of foreplay time. Because I am sure, if some couples had a lengthy amount of foreplay then yes 3 minutes could have been sufficient and quenched their thirst, while others may not have engaged in lengthy or any foreplay necessitating for the act of copulation to last longer (its that simple).
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
good question. I maintain that there’s a big difference between “couples who have already had sex with each other dozens, even hundreds of times” and “everybody else”. I’m not saying that “relationship sex” is ho-hum, but when you’ve been with somebody a trillion times and you know EXACTLY what to do and what spot to hit, etc, etc, sex becomes more, for a lack of a better term, efficient. I’m not saying that you won’t have your occasional monkey matrix marathon sessions, but after you’ve been with someone numerous times, you should be able to make them cum in your sleep (pun intended)
Xquizzyt1 Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Champ? I’m sorry… did you say “Monkey Matrix” that’s it… go to the corner. You are sooo on time-out.
HOT blazing mess.
So sexual-wise ones…how long is too long for fourplay?
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Or is it foreplay? lol. I can’t spell today.
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Pretty sure its “foreplay” as fourplay would be an EP, or 1/3 of R. Kelly’s seminal album 12play.
Neither of which actively involves any sticky icky…though 12play could inspire and serve as the soundtrack, save “Sadie”.
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Jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
foreplay. no such thing as too long for foreplay. hm.. i dont know.. IS there a ceiling? Because I’m convinced that there is no such thing as TOO long when it comes to that.. however I’m thinking about it now, and I’ll probably start getting suspicious if after 30 minutes, there wasn’t any kind of genital introduction.
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
And see that would make sense in this research…
Lots of foreplay and an optimal amount of you-can-touch-it-lapdancing.
It’s like Thanksgiving. You spend all day cooking just to finish eating in 15 minutes. And much like that, when you’re done, you just want to go to sleep…then wake up and eat some leftovers…Not sure if you can refer to a chick as leftovers…though AHA!
If you refer to a woman’s special place as the egg mcmuffin, and you knock the stuffin’ off said egg mcmuffin, then mission accomplished.
I read good.
Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
great analogy using the Thanksgiving Day reference… Kudos
Jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Agreed. But I dont understand the egg mcmuffin reference. I think you just really really wanted to compare the jayjay to the mcmuffin.
panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
it’s true.
*hanging head in shame*
Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
It is “foreplay” as in before play. “erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse or action or behavior that precedes an event”
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Lemme just say that I havent read all the previous comments, so if Im repeating, Im sorry…
HOWEVER, 3 mins is unacceptable, unless by some miracle I actually did get mine in that short amt of time… 13 mins- well, honestly- might just be ok with me. As long as its not like, 13 mins of me praying its over soon… Since this does not include foreplay and the essential after-cuddle *Im such a chick* 13 mins for one sex act is cool… But dont think your immune from giving me seconds some time during the night!
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Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
and therein lies another deficiency in this research. it does not explain weather the women were satisfied, because honestly I need a man who can go up to bat for an inning at the very least. Yes 3 times. And yes I do expect him to hit it out of the park just like Big Papi. (I hope the men appreciate the baseball reference as that is not my strong point at all). So if the first time was 3 minutes, (as alluded to earlier in this post) you will not be making it to catch the 3d quarter of the game, because I will give you a few min to regain your energy but your up to bat needs to come quick and I dont mean cum quick.
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I think that it is also worth noting that unless a woman knows her own body well, it is not going to be an easy task for a man to have her reach climax. But unfortunately you have women running around without any understanding of what rhythms, depths and motions stimulate them and yet they still feel entitled to multiple orgasms.
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I really find it hard to believe that apparently none of the women who’ve left comments can climax after some good foreplay and 8-10 minutes of pipe.
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D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
That is a good point. It also begs the question what in God’s name does it take? Finally, it seems to me that there is no sense of shared responsibility. It seems like the overall sentiment from the ladies is that the man is responsible for both climaxes.
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
It’s a two way street…however, men can get off whether a woman is putting in her work or not (her work = allowing him to penetrate her in the first place, lol). And let’s be honest…just how much “work” is either party putting in with 3 sorry azz minutes???
Again, the study is bananas and you really can’t time forced sex. [Forced sex being that it was only done for study purposes].
VOTE FOR O’BAMA!
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D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Yeah, you’re right and the study is bogus. But it does it still raises the important question: what are reasonable expectations for male performance? I don’t think any man is willing to smugly lean back, light a cigarette and ask a woman “was it good for you?” after a 3 minute love romp. But still, what ammount of time is praise-worthy?
Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I wouldn’t say there is an “appropriate” amount of time (surely we all agree its longer than 3 to 13 minutes). However, I will say when you are with someone and you know the person you’re with….there is nothing wrong with a hour long heat fest.
A quickie is made for a quick fix…it shouldn’t be used as a normal sexual method. That’s just cruel to the vagina in general.
Play nice and the cats purrrrrrrr.
jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
she said vote for obama. LOL. yo.
calina Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
exactly…I like the way a promo was worked into all of this and no one seemed to notice or care.
Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I think you are confusing what we are capable of with what we would like. I am in agreement that with the right partner and the right amount of fore, during, and after play the during piece might could be 3 minutes. But TRUST me when I say to you, the stars must be aligned just right for me to be satisfied with that. Because for all that, meaning 3 minutes, I will forgo the man and just use a rabbit.
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genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
Point Ana Barraza.
maybe its the minimum ideal of what partners are capable of attaining and not the maximum ideal. haven’t read the article yet but i will. stay tuned.
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Grayse Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I can reach orgasm “on my own” within 60 seconds… however I havent met the man yet that can make me do it in 3 minutes. Id LOVE to meet this man, though.
I am all about “teamwork” and working with my man so that I (and he) am satisified- I just havent found the guy that is that “in tune” with me that it can be done in 3 minutes! 8-10 as TheChamp mentioned is possible… but not without foreplay… or maybe it is and once again- I havent met the dude (yet)…
Then again- what the hell do I know? I dont even remember what good sex feels like *grr*
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The Queen Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Yeah, we never said we couldn’t get there…we’re just saying it shouldn’t be a race against the clock.
It’s like trying to diffuse a bomb…if you know your stuff, you can make it happen in a couple of minutes, but you’d rather have 15 to 20 minutes to get the job done right.
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Liz Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Now you’re putting words in people’s mouths! That is clearly not the point of this 3 minute issue lol. Stop trying to derail the conversation!
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Nikiloveli Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Uhh, I didn’t say that. In fact, that’s about prime for me. After that, I’m ready for my nap. Wake me in the morning for another quick go, and then I’ll make us pancakes.
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I am a HUGE supporter of scientific research – when it’s actually relevant and helpful…so uhhh I don’t get why they felt compelled to do this research. Why are they that interested in what random couples experience sexually? Each couple is different, their health/fitness level, their relationship dynamics, their attitudes towards sex, period. I mean, SERIOUSLY? This arbitrary range in minutes thing irks the hell out of me.
and why don’t they talk to women who reciprocate all this damn work they are demanding and feel entitled to?
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Wise Diva…someone hit a nerve with this story huh? lol (j/k)
Anyhow, I agree…everyone is very different and as the Queen earlier stated…why take 3 minutes to diffuse a bomb when you can take your time and get it done correctly?
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
same reason microwaves were invented. yeah, stuff tastes better out of the oven, but you don’t always have time and energy to make full four course meals. sometimes all you have time for is that stouffer pot pie. sure, you might have prefered some homemade baked chicken, but the pot pie will hit the spot (double entendre intended)
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Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
That’s called LAZINESS!
It’s like settling for a quick “wash-up” when you can take a nice long shower? At least you know in the shower you’re more than likely cleaning all the spots.
Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
The same way you wouldn’t want your mate to do a quick, lick and skip on your manhood with her mouth…why would you do that during penetration?
Ana Barraza Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Champ I will agree with your microwave analogy, however the problem lies in that at some point you want the effort that goes into preparing the Thanksgiving Dinner and not just because you know there will be left overs but because you know the amount of time and energy put into the meal will be well worth sitting down to it at the end. Moral of the story: your goal should not be to be a microwave meal though having a microwave meal every now and again is ok. But is should not be the norm. Even the surgeon general can agree with that.
Ms. Freckles Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
ROTFLMAO!!!! I second Ana’s response!
The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
I agree. You can’t survive on microwaveable dishes and take out. Well, you can, but it wouldn’t be a very health survival. All I’m saying is that there’s a time and a place for intense prolonged love making, but that realisticially, you can’t expect that every time you have sex
D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
LMAO! I don’t want to be a “microwave meal!” I want to be a “Thanksgiving dinner!” Ana, this comment inspired me to turn my life around…I plan on serving up Thanksgiving dinner ev’ryday!
Grayse Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
*whispers to D*stroy* Call me!
haha… no, but excellent analogy. When Im in a rush and HUNGRY, a Hot Pocket will do- but damn if I wouldnt prefer some ribs or chicken cooked slow in the crock pot.
Ana B Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
AMEN! Grayse
jess Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Guys youre taking this food thing so much farther than it has to go… lmao
genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:47 am
sure quickies have their place and i appreciate the woman who is physically, mentally and uninhibited enough to know how to get hers in short order. i dam sure do however mix it up, i have an aquired taste for the long haul {upward of 20 mins.}. (wasn’t hard to aquire neither)
the funny shit about all of this is that the assumption is that men are doing all the microwaving and forcing women to be less than satisfied. fuck, some of y’all trying to cook 4 piece meals with no seasoning and assume that just because you put some shit in a pot it counts as cooking.
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Grayse Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
We arent saying we arent partly responsible for an orgasm! lol.. however the length of a sex session IS based more on the man’s ability than the woman’s… and often times the length of the session correlates with our level of satisfaction- sooooo regarding this survey, it is appropriate to put some “blame” on the men.
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D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
This could be the funniest sh*t I’ve ever read! LMAO! I know too many gyals that can’t even make a ham samich but love themselves some filet mignon! Man, with all of these food references–i don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore.
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Ana B Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I dont know who y’all been f*cking with, for real but to quote Big Daddy Kane… “I go to work. I get the job done.” and Im not putting this out there to get applause or accolades but lets be real. Sex has more to do with stroking a man’s ego than stroking his D*ck (and I know how to do both very well) or an equal amount of stroking both, which is why women feign enjoyment anyway (not me, but the non knowing how to cook, only making ham sandwiches sister’s you been dealing with). Im not saying that my meal is always, “girl you cook like my momma”, 5 Diamond, Food channel cuisine however it is reciprocal of the effort he is putting in. So if you get the hellman’s, I will certainly make you a sandwich! But if you take the time to season the turkey, I will sure as hell pull out all the stops to ensure your palate is appeased with culinary delights, including side dishes, drinks, and dessert. (D*stroy all the food and cooking references were just for you)
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Chef Boy R' D*stroy Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I aint mad atcha! You sound like you’re trying to put Julia Child to shame.
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jess Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:00 am
i… lost track. what? hellmans? *blinks*
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buboniccalypso Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Ms. Ana B, that comment on the ego stroking is priceless…mad props. I have to say I agree. I used to mess with a guy that I could get to cum almost instantly by just making silly remarks like “Oh my God! Its So BIG!”
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Ana B Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
somebody (a man) once told me “Stroke a man’s d*ck you have him for the night, Stroke his ego and you have him for life” I have found this to be true, even with the men that I have not been physically involved with. It truly is all about EGO
genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 am
Point iron Chef Ana.
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First of all… I already wrote about this, and the man I love to death, more than anything in the world, sent me this article at 7:30am, the morning it came out. Here’s my take. They are absolutely right. I don’t know what anyone else said, but for me, you can save that “All Night Long” shyt for Lionel Richie and the Mary Jane Girls, I got shyt to do. All that steady pumping is monotonous. For me, I like the foreplay and that includes the shyt that leads up to ya’ll actually being alone. The looks, the inadvertant touches, the build-up. Once we get through the foreplay and get down to business, if you’re putting it down right it doesn’t really matter how long it is… and a real man, if it’s quicker than he intends, which happens to the best of you – he will, without prodding, proceed to make sure that you are where you need to be. And if you have the wherewithal to be timing shyt and measuring shyt then you’re not getting f*cked properly. You should be delirious. LOL
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
see…this is exactly what I’m talking about. X your honesty and candor should be praised for generations to come.
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ChocolateGirlWonder Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
XQUIZZYT1,
You said it right… It SHOULDN’T matter how long it is… The objective is to enjoy yourselves! Not break records.
The real problem is selfishness. You have some guys who are in it for self and they’re just trying to “bust a nut”. This leads to unsatisfied women, who correlate time with satisfaction – which means they think if it had lasted longer it would have been better – which is not necessarily true. So they take that into the next encounter which puts unrealistic expectations on the next man…
That and folks watch too much pornography, where dicks are never soft and pussies never dry up for the whole 22:35 of edited fucking, and think it’s real.
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jess Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:02 am
agreed. a selfish man can dip the wick for 1 hour straight and I’d still be bored and unsatisfied in the end. Some just can’t bring it. And some, really can.
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genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
ahhh the magic of tv. film and video editing. creative license.
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another GROUNDBREAKING Study. Can we discuss this next? LOL
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/05/finance.sex.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch
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The Champ Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
“Another suggests straight men think less about their financial future after being shown pictures of pretty women”
finally, a scientific justification for making it rain at strip clubs
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Ana B Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Ive been to some strip clubs (doing research) and seen men make it rain and not all them women are pretty so I dont see where your justification holds water
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The Champ Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:09 am
“pretty” is a relative term
Ana B Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Yeah relative to the amount of alcohol in your system
calina Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
hahahahaha
They didn’t ask me when they did their poll. It had to be a man behind this poll to justify him not performing.
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Honestly … 75% of women will not be happy period. Plenty complain about people not lasting long enough, and when you give em an hour on average you get “its getting late” and “are you soon done … my leg hurts”.
*sigh* …
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ChocolateGirlWonder Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Tell ‘em to work through the pain…LOL
If they are complaining, they really didn’t want ot in the first place and were just using the P*$$y as a means of power…
There’s not a job in creation that would prevent a woman to stop getting the good D… She’ll work around her schedule… Trust!
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Its funny. I do. Then suddenly they get back cramps.
How you 25 complaining about your back?!?! 1 hour aint even that long …
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panama Reply:
April 7th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
preach brotha…preach.
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jess Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 12:03 am
lol.. agreed with chocolate.. when it’s that good, I work through the pain
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Nikiloveli Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I’d have to say that some back complaints might be justified after an hour–dependent upon what contortion that back is being forced into at the moment.
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genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
sorry dude. i dont believe this trick is liking it. its not the cramp or the leg and shit, she just not synching wit ya or this el porko i.e lazy mc bitch is in terrible shape. pleasure and pain kinda go together like sweet and sour if both are genuinely present. a lot of good sex is mental synchronicity 1st. try fucking the mind (foreplay, mindplay etc.) and then switching positions beyond the usual 4 or 5. (angle) take ur time find the right shit b. if not fukem find a better fit.
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i had something to say, a perfect cap to this day of shit talking and general witty repartee, but then memphis lost and completely effed up my train of thought.
this is why you never get behind a college team with a head coach named after an appetizer.
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bballmom Reply:
April 8th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
LOL. “named after an appetizer”. too funny.
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Who were they asking?
If it was couples who’ve been together too long (i.e. more than a year) then chances are that 3-13 minutes is fine. It just gets boring after that.
If it’s couples who’ve only been together for a short while (like one day to a few weeks)… 3-13 minutes! Come on!!
If it was consenting strangers then what were the circumstances? Snatched (no pun intended… although I’m not sure that the mostly – I’m assuming – American readers use the word ’snatch’ in way I’m not intending) moments in public toilets?; Pre-arranged/booked hotel rooms? Underneath (or on top of) the coats in the spare room at a party?
I could go on…
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genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 pm
all mental manipulation. i likes. not guaranteed to work but creative.
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In a nutshell….Good sex is Good sex…it varies with the partner you are with and the mood you both are in….as does the time for both foreplay and sex.
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The last thing I want is for a woman to agree with this. It just means that she’ll find an excuse to stop short on giving me oral….
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oooooooooh i so read an article like that a couple weeks ago…wait maybe it was the same….hmmm… a wise man once said fuc**** wasnt nothin more than 50 pumps….I guess it just depends on if you are doing to Keith Sweat or Gnarls Barkley that’s gonna determine how fast those 50 pumps go….
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genius khan Reply:
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Bernie Mac used to say sex wasn’t but about 50 pumps on average way back in the beginning of the Def Comedy days. “i aint scared of you mf’s.”
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3 to 13 minutes sounds about right when it comes to applying the rod of satisfaction. Many men brag about stroking for hours but ladies, most of them are either on something or straight up embellishing (you know…mispeaking).
Now the ladies who are complaining about this obviously need to be introduced to a brother who understands that sex is more than just about stroking it. In other words, I suspect that you haven’t been sufficiently prepared before entry. Get my drift?
Ok, carry on.
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