We’re doing Thursday Amusement because Friday Fun is going to be insane tomorrow. Kno’ dat. I’ve been sitting on this idea for a good two weeks now. The people will speak tomorrow!
There’s no reason for you to know this about me but I’m a huge University of Michigan fan. I remember getting shots at the Uof M hospital and they used to give me Snoopy band-aids afterwards. I always wanted to go there for school and seriously contemplated going their for undergrad and later on down the line grad school. I never made it to Michigan (not that I have any regrets, I am a very smart brotha after all, my alma mater will whip your alma mater’s a** 8 days a week, pal) but that doesn’t change the fact that…
…I could NEVER date a woman who went to or loved The Ohio State University. What kind of pretentious f*ck school actually calls itself “The” and capitalizes the sh*t?
I mean seriously.
I know its kind of stupid, but it is what it is. That rivalry is well recognized in the sporting world by all parties involved and basically f*ck Ohio State.
(Just to prove how insane my allegiance is to UofM, I dated a chick from Howard once, and they’re like Morehouse’s b*tch rival or something…except they’re not because they’re, ya know, Howard and we’re like, Morehouse. Howard’s still cool though; they got a real bangin’ clock tower and everything!)
I have a cousin who goes to Michigan State right now and I’m conflicted about her decisions and the possible choices she may make in life, by the way. I’ve expressed this concern to her.
Anywho, that got me to thinking about some quirky deal breakers. I remember when we had our little tete-a-tete about dealbreakers, everybody listed things that they just couldn’t deal with, but really, those were quite sensical. Somehow, “sensical” isn’t showing up as a real word, despite “nonsensical” being a word. I’m truly perplexed by this.
Here is a list of other things that I know off top that are slightly-left-of-center as dealbreakers:
- If a chick told me Halle Berry wasn’t pretty, I’d have to let her go. Why? Because she’s clearly blind and my vision’s already bad enough. We’d f*ck around and make a baby that’d need LASIK before it was actually birthed. Dump.Ed.
- If a chick didn’t like Hurly Burly Coming To America, well, Loc’em And Smoke’em. As perfect as this movie is, any woman who didn’t like this movie clearly hates being Black. And I can’t date clear women. For one, I’d have to throw water on her just to see her on some Hollow Man ish. And that just seems like too much work to do on the regular. Plus, she’d mess up my couch. It may be IKEA, but it wasn’t cheap. AND I put it together myself.
- I SERIOUSLY wouldn’t even consider dating a chick who threw a piss fit about going to McDonalds TGIFridays. I love that place. I’m not even sure why but I do. It’s fine American dining at a reasonable price. Plus it has the word Friday in its title and who doesn’t love Fridays? I ask you, who?
- No love for Donny Hathaway? Well you might as well one hug yourself darlin’, because upon hearing that, you’re outta there like the Chicago Cubs.
These are definitely quirky deal breakers for me. They may seem petty to some degree, however, I just can’t comprehend some things in life. Forget politics, if you are on some Ohio State sh*t, you got to go.
So toss your dealbreakers people, we’ve been there and done that. What are those things pacifically specific to you that may not make sense to anybody else that would cause you to have to chuck the knucklehead, even if you seen him yesterday and he was cool? (Name that Artist/song/album?)
And be honest; if you couldn’t date a man who wore speedos socks or a woman who only wore chaps granny panties, its okay, we won’t judge.
(Actually I will promise I won’t.)
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. MACHOSANCHIL
PS Beyonce’s new single “If I Were A Boy” (tagged) is that hot fiyah – Dylan style! I love that doggone song. It’s great. I don’t like “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” as much, but hey, to each his own. And coincidentally, Christina Milian’s new song “Us Against The World” is that dopeness too. No, for real! I love pop music and pop music never had it so good. “Together Forever” anyone? You should check these songs out if you get the opportunity! Eff it, I’m including the download links. Don’t say I never gave you anything.
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{ 779 comments… read them below or add one }
“Don’t say I never gave you anything.”
Coincidentally, same thing Champ told the girl he gave “vajayjay pimples” to.
Zing!! Huzzah!!
Hehe see ya all in the morn!!
Thanks for starting my morining off with a laugh!!!!!
this made me choke on my toast. good job
Wow, three posts in a row that I can’t really comment on.
Thanks a lot VSB.
Come on, that can’t be true…EVERYONE has some silly non-negotiable that really shouldn’t matter but it does.
Spill it, babe.
Only thing I can think of is that I couldn’t date a girl who believed in the fairytale romantic view of relationships but I could go for the one with the romance novel view.
What’s the diff?
fairy-tale = some guy will come by, sweep you off your feet, things will be great, happy ever after. (note, almost no s3x is involved).
romance novel = beautiful successful independent woman is somehow still single, runs into a great handsome guy (me), has mindblowing s3x, they argue over guy’s ex, have mindblowing s3x then split up, she finds out it was all a mistake, have mindblowing s3x then get back together, someone tries to destroy man’s business/life, they’re escaping on a place, ensure nobody else will ever join the mile-high club, defeat the hater while staying within the limits of the law, finish it off with a bit of mindblowing s3x and happily ever after.
I think you can figure out the part I like. . .
btw, you wouldn’t happen to be a beautiful, independent, smart, successful woman would you?
“btw, you wouldn’t happen to be a beautiful, independent, smart, successful woman would you?”
I am, indeed. And lol @ that synopsis, that was pretty accurate.
Not that I read romance novels.
*cough*
so does that mean you started dating men?
“I couldn’t date a girl who believed in the fairytale romantic view of relationships”
for the record I blame Disney and Jim Jones
apparently, it means i don’t date that much
how’s the car? I haven’t read the blog in a minute. I should go visit. I’ll be back
lol I knew I should have written about sex in cars … then you’d be reading every … wait, you don’t read romance novels do you?
lately the only thing I have been reading are my students poorly written papers. I will read anything really, I’m not a literary snob. What you got?
I’ve got Euler-Lagrange equations, Navanlinna-Pick problems, and Horne normal clauses in first order logic. Wanna trade?
I think I will keep my leadership theory papers thanks though, I appreciate you wanting to share
LOL!!!!
i could never date a yankees fan…not seriously. its that deep.
go red sox!
I would never date a Red Sox fan. or Duke fan. or Patriots fan. or Tennessee fan (I particularly despise Pat Summit).
I couldn’t date a Princeton student/alumn or fan
I didn’t go to school there, but why not? Is it because their entire graduation ceremony is in latin? (pretentious a$$holes)
They also say that if u go to another Ivy its b/c you didnt get into Princeton
Sidenote, but there are plenty of dumb people that go to Ivy’s, jsut as any other college institution. I know plenty, as I frequent several of them for different reasons.
And the Military Academy’s are much harder to gain acceptance into than any Ivy….. USNA, Westpoint, and USAFA, and to a saller extenet, the USMMA and USCGA.
truedat. those pricks can go kick rocks.
JR i agree with you. there were many dumb f**ks at my school… trust fund babies and senator/CEO’s kids
I will cosign, give me a chick that is good at the 3 R’s (Reading, ‘Riting and ‘Rithmetic) from the Borough of Manhattan Community College with common sense anyday
hehehe. I took Latin for 5 years.
“…or Tennessee fan (I particularly despise Pat Summit).”
you do know who our favorite cp3 is, right?
my question is, who are the other cp3′s??
Chris Paul from the New Orleans Hornets.
I can’t date anyone that doesn’t know that
LMAO. well played.
don’t respect anyone that has the audacity to date shelden williams… and thats besides the fact he played for Duke
and her dunks have about as much authority as something Richard Jefferson would do.
Tennessee is one of the best basketball legacies, dynasties, and overall awesomest EVER. They are ridiculously dominant.
Candace Parker is a beast (although I want to pull her aside and tell her that her love of prostyl gel and 2 inch “baby hair” is a bit ridiculous). And yes, Pat Summitt would scare me if I was stuck alone in an elevator with her. I may get off a floor or two earlier than I had initially planned to.
Well besides the fact she wasn’t truthful enough to have admitted that the Rutgers team got screwed when they played Tennessee in sp08 (the ‘clock issue’), she tried to snitch on UConn for some silly BS out of spite. Wasn’t even enough of a woman to explain why she ended the UConn-Tennessee series.
And most of her dominance was when competition was about as high as what the Trinity College baseball team faced this past yr (Division III). She still is a great coach, but her win totals and championship numbers are a bit inflated because of this fact.
And most of her dominance was when competition was about as high as what the Trinity College baseball team faced this past yr (Division III). She still is a great coach, but her win totals and championship numbers are a bit inflated because of this fact.
damn, lol. someone has an ax to grind
as far as i’m concerned, she can go suck on Hattori Hanzo steel.*Kill Bill reference*
if this was said with the sort of authority i read with in my head, it’d be a sexy rant.
i’m a Duke fan and i’ve had a chick look at me in disgust upon finding out this fact. she couldn’t even tell me where Duke was. no lie. she just knew she hated Duke.
my guitar gently weeps.
Wait you’re a Michigan and a Duke fan? Whats next you like the Red Sox too?
I never thought Panama Jackson was actually – Panameous Garfield Xavier Jackson IV
actually, as per above, i huckin’ fate the Red Sox.
and naw son, this is G. Digital Jackson Tickle aka Tangle Jig P…straight gangsta…
Tangle Jig P. is a hot azz Palin name. Engine Nighthawk ain’t bad, but that Tangle Jig…that’s what’s hot on the boulevard.
i know right. i love that name. i can honestly say that most of the names that come out of name generators for me have been good names…
Right with you on that. My other one: wannabe rapper. I just can’t be suportive of either lifestyle!
oh man! dont even get me started! i think you can wanna be a rapper up until 25 years old at the LATEST. after that, its tres pathetique!
and as for sports…i would rather date a non-baseball fan than a die hard yankees fan. as for other sports, i generally root for the home team, but its really not that deep….
“you can wanna be a rapper up until 25 years old at the LATEST. after that, its tres pathetique!”
I concur! One of my girls is talking to a guy who’s 38 and trying to start a rap career. I clowned her for that one.
Is she dating that guy that Gabrielle Union’s character was dating in “Daddy’s Little Girls’?
::snicker::
wow…an actual Black Red Sox fan…(i’m assuming you’re Black by the way).
i didn’t like the Red Sox until i went to Boston when i determined that i HATED the Red Sox b/c of their fans.
good luck this year though…except i’m a Dodgers fan and i hope Manny hits a series winning homerun in the 9th inning of game 7…
you see me.
yaaaaay for Dodgers fans!! *clap clap*
Let’s Go Sox… Why is EVERYONE hatin’ on Boston/ New England teams today? Can someone from the Bean cosign and cheer for our wonderful teams?!?!?
i actually don’t hate the BoSox. my roommate is a huge fan, btw. but truth be told, i’m not a big baseball fan so there’s no real love or hate. but my daddy and older brother raised me to be a Dodger fan. *shurgs* what can i say?
besides, i’m from SoCal. i can’t be on some NE bullsh*t.
i could never date a yankees fan…not seriously. its that deep.
go red sox!
AMEN!
being a yanks fan means i could never date a red sox fan. esp now. i would have to kick her out of my house all of the time
My daughter’s high school’s staff refers to the school like that : “The Great McKinley Technology High School”. No bull. Call up there and somebody will answer the phone like that.
With that being said, the kids made “We put on fo’ McKinley” their school song this year. *sigh*
seriously though, how much more entertaining would life be if people were forced to put realistic adjectives before their names when introducing themselves? who wouldnt love to meet a “aggressively mediocre kenny” or a “superb kim”?
just me? ok. nevermind
Not just you, Champ. I’d FULLY enjoy that type of a world.
Gregarious Gay Gary, Nefarious Nympho Nate, & Mundane Mike…. it would have cut out on a lot of dating disasters if I could have gotten these descriptors from jump.
“With that being said, the kids made “We put on fo’ McKinley” their school song this year. *sigh”
I wish we had a cool class song like this…we got stuck with the theme song from “Friends”
Bwhahaha @ “We put on fo’ McKinley”. That’s both terrible and fantastic
Oh, they love it! Mainly because their school name is the only DC high school’s name that actually fits into the song. We spent a good 10 minutes going testing it out. Hilarious!
I can’t date a non-reader or a man w/bad taste in music. Or if he’s just a bamma in general. Those are definite deal-breakers.
“I can’t date a non-reader”
what if he was blind, and had to listen to his books? you know, october is national disability awareness month, right?
If he was “The One”, I’d be more than happy to read aloud to him. I’d do it for the rest of our days.
October is also National Orgasm Month. What are you doing to commemorate that, Mister Champs??
you know my general beef with folks determining that they can’t date somebody with bad taste in music? it’s so subjective. like what if you think good music is Britney Spears and Soulja Boy? and you don’t want to hear none of that preachy Marvin Gaye ish. i know somebody like this who has determined that it ain’t good if they dont hear it on the radio.
or she’d tell me it wasn’t a hot song if she’s never heard it.
these people make my spleen do jumping jacks.
“or she’d tell me it wasn’t a hot song if she’s never heard it. ”
Oh wow.
they make your spleen do jumping jacks??
they make my duodenum frown.
good taste is relative, but stupid is NOT.
I can not date someone that is not open to different genres of music, like you think country sucks but you have never listened to it, or wont listen to classical or opera or in general know only about one genre of music and call yourself a lover of music. Go kick rocks
@IH–I thought I was the only one who ever considered this a deal breaker. And have since I was 14. I hate for guys to tell me how much they love music but only listen to Rap and occasionally R&B.
Aside from faux music lovers my dealer breakers include: Redskins fans (my pickins are slim out here in the DMV), those that don’t respect my Super Bowl Champ Giants, Red Sox fans, people that hate Duke for no damn reason at all, non readers (read a book m*fu**er!) and last but not least, dudes who own fly ass cars but live in an apartment or their mom’s basement. (House BEFORE car numnuts!)
Oh and 1 more, dudes who have to hype up their school and look down on mine. Yeah you’ve got a fancy ass education but I’m still smarter than you! Kick rocks son!
Deal breakers for moi
* Duke fans
*Does not see why “The Wire” is “such big deal”
* Drinks things such as Smirnoff ice, mike’s hard lemonade, wine coolers
*owns a b!tch-esque dog (i.e. miniature anything)
*scared of unicorns, griffins, or black squirrels
C’mon now! You have to stop mentioning black squirrels in the same context as your other mythical creatures…Black Squirrels are REAL! They live in my neighborhood and rap about lollipops and having money! Respect the Black Squirrel!
Coach K is the devil and J.J Redick is/was his evil spawn.
i’m a huge jj redick fan. well i was when he was at Duke. orlando? not so much.
jj reddick, booooooooooo
and of course…
boo deez.
“*scared of unicorns, griffins, or black squirrels”
lol. Me and squirrels don’t get along–black or otherwise.
I’m with PBG, Alise – Black squirrels are gangsta. Don’t get knocked out with an acorn, homie. It’s hard in these trees.
P.S. – in response to the black squirrels, I am now seeing deer traveling in packs of 5 or more. I coulda swore I saw some of them wearing little blue bandanas and making funny gestures with their hooves….
“It’s hard in these trees.”
I think that just made my day!
Lil’T you aint lyin! This one deer was staring me down, I used to feel bad when they ran, but when he got gangsta like that..I was a bit unsettled, like, these deers gettin uppity? They are just biding their time yall.
“P.S. – in response to the black squirrels, I am now seeing deer traveling in packs of 5 or more. I coulda swore I saw some of them wearing little blue bandanas and making funny gestures with their hooves….”
LMAO.
you know, there are WAY more deer in DC than people might realize. i’ve seen deer in inner city neighborhoods…consequently, they were probably the same deer you saw with blue bandanas, down Suitland Parkway and Stanton Road in SE.
OMG! What if the deer in DC wore the blue bandanas and the blacks squirrels wore the red ones?? Dayum! Gangsta, Gangstaaaa!!
The rats could wear jogging suits like the mafioso. Then there would be a criminal trifecta in DC. Besides the executive, judicial and legislative branches.
“I put on fo’ my city!”
*Does not see why “The Wire” is “such big deal”
yeah. to me, these people are on the same level as pedophiles.
That’s not fair…I’ve never watched the show…but not because I don’t want to or anything…I just always miss the start of a season of it and I refuse to catch the re-runs on BET for fear that they’ll cut out too much of “the good stuff”
with netflix sending DVDs straight to your home, there’s NO excuse not to be in The Wire circle
“owns a b!tch-esque dog (i.e. miniature anything)”
I don’t know if it’s a west coast thing, but everyone here has little dogs. I almost stepped on one the other day when I was getting my mail. I’ve seen these big dudes with these tiny little dogs.
um. they’re gay. not that there’s anything wrong with that.
“* Drinks things such as Smirnoff ice, mike’s hard lemonade, wine coolers”
No Smirnoff Ice? Is this only for men because I swear I took a bottle of that stuff into the movies one night and had a grand ol time lmao Fell asleep within the first hour and laughed extremely loud at sh@t that wasnt funny, but still…it was a grand ol time.
you don’t know who eddie caine is, you don’t know and love ball and g, you can’t play scrabble, or checkers, you don’t agree that michael jordan was the best bball player of all time and that joe montana was 100 times better than steve young, you have no rhythm
yes, scrabble is one of my pre-req’s too!!!
say that after some nerd blows of s.e.x. to continue playing online scrabble. Some ish.
He’d need to be willing to at least play Scrabble.
that’s a good one…if you don’t know who Eddie King, Jr. is…
i lost 5 bucks on this bet…but amazingly, his name was Eddie KING, Jr. He just said it like, Eddie Kaing, Jr.
“i lost 5 bucks on this bet…but amazingly, his name was Eddie KING, Jr. He just said it like, Eddie Kaing, Jr.”
Panama, I coulda swore his name was Eddie Caine…not Eddie King…*side eye trembling AGAIN*
yeah no bytch a.s.s dogs either, or be a wack a.s.s rapper/singer, don’t eat chicken ( I mean for real u don’t eat chicken? wtf?) grind your teeth and have huge sweat stains under your arms while wearing dress shirts
In no particular order:
*You don’t like reggae music
*You claim to like reggae music but the only artist you can name is Sean Paul.
*You say you like Sean Paul but you can only reference his overly-produced American stuff
*You don’t like the Five Heartbeats, Dirty Dancing, Imitation of Life or Mahogany (ok…you have to at least sit through the last 3 without saying ish)
*You own a miniature dog (real dogs are o.k.)
*You hate/are afraid of cats
*Your passport has no stamps
*You don’t watch Monday night football/hate sports in general
*You cannot engage in an intelligent discussion about politics
*You don’t know anything about the crisis in Darfur or any other international news
*You don’t know at least one bible verse
*You judge me for my shoe shopping
*You drink cheap a$$ beer because you like it
*You’ve slept with a man
Your list is so on point.
*co-sign*
“You’ve slept with a man”
4serious!
Ain’t nothin’ more serious.
“*You’ve slept with a man”
Need to add that to the list. When he’s out with Bob, I shouldn’t have to worry about what him and Bob are doing behind closed doors.
“*Your passport has no stamps”
yeah imma need at least one stamp (departure and arrival) in that book. if you carryin it around for extra id….well..um..thats …don’t do that.
*You hate/are afraid of cats
But cats are so creepy! (shudders)
u got alot of stuff on your list u call deal breakers. Cats do suck. Some of those things can be remedied (reggae ignorance and lack of passport stamps)
Some aren’t deal breakers as much as things that cause me to give the side eye.
Cats are cuddly. And don’t need to be walked.
Aint nothin wrong with no Natty Light or Keystone. The 2520s at my PWI done put me on to their exceptional qualities.
*You drink cheap a$$ beer because you like it
so its better if they drink cheap beer because thats all they can afford?
btw, i absolutely abhor beer in all its forms
I 2nd this…that ish is and will always be nasty as fcuk.
If he doesn’t like beer that’s ok. But to be drinking Old E cuz you LIKE it???? Naw, son.
I also dated a guy who ONLY drank white zin. He’d drink it in a pool hall. Get some likka, dude. lol.
Champ
i too abhor beer and I absolutely love that you used the word abhor
i used to abhor beer (love that word) until i discovered the joy that is Kirin Ichiban. Japanese beer rules.
Konichiwa b*tches.
Ummm this was the world’s longest list. So you need a sports fan who only likes expensive beers, loves to travel, loves reggae, likes cats (although they actually freak me out a lil)…
Gurl… you doing the most. And if a man acutally LOVES Dirty Dancing, he probably has slept with other men.
“And if a man acutally LOVES Dirty Dancing, he probably has slept with other men.”
LMAO. word.life.
I think I’m the only girl who doesn’t like this movie.
no. you’re not
you really aren’t.
Mental pic of some tangy man crooning “iiiiiii haadddd the time of my liiiiifeeeee”
Please note I said he had to at least sit through Dirty Dancing without cracking.
And it would be nice if he’d want to do “the lift” during the big finale. Have yet to find anyone who wants to do that. Not a deal breaker though. lmao.
you know, “the lift” should be used as a trust exercise,cuz somebody like me just might let you do an open dive onto the ground if you piss me off…
Just wrong.
Jesus wept
My favorite Bible verse after “He Died”
“*You hate/are afraid of cats”
That definitely deserves a terrorist fist bump. Any man who hates felines, or is allergic, need not apply.
“*You’ve slept with a man”
I’m allergic to men who have done this.
*Deal Breakers*
1.) Non-reading mo fo’s. You claim to be a reader but there are no books in your house, only copies of jet, vibe, and XXL.
2.) You are over 25 and are still wearing braids. (This is only acceptable if you are a rapper/producer/Sean Jean Model.)
3.) You only listen to hip hop. (I love music and you can’t limit great music. I had one dude question my love of Coldplay and he got let go.)
4.) Being a republican (I live in GA and I will kill myself if I see another McCain/Palin bumber sticker.)
5.) If you have a dirty bathroom. ( I went to one dudes house and the bottom of the tub was dirt black. EWWW. Cleanliness is next to godliness. I ran out of that place.)
“If you have a dirty bathroom. ( I went to one dudes house and the bottom of the tub was dirt black. EWWW. Cleanliness is next to godliness. I ran out of that place.)”
OMG.
It was sooo nasty. I would not go near him after that. I did tell him about himself though. He tried to act hurt like I was being shallow. If you keep your tub dirty like that why would the rest of you be clean?
“If you keep your tub dirty like that why would the rest of you be clean?”
Tina Turna chanting: “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo “!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOsr_ZOi-Jo
Amen on the dirty bathroom. I once dated this guy who would use his sink and floor as an ashtray- cigarette buds everywhere and ash lining the sink… lets just say that was the last time I talked to him!
“a big sweet minty jesus AMEN!” to the dirty bathroom bizness! If I see hair on the sink..its a Wrap! *ewwwwwwwwww!*
Hell yes to number 2!
“I live in GA and I will kill myself if I see another McCain/Palin bumber sticker”
you know, i still haven’t seen any of these. not one.
They’re running rampant here in TX…trust and believe. That’s why I have 3 Obama stickers and 1 Obama/Biden on my back window.
When I made my summer rode trip to N.O. I started seeing McCain/Palin signs in Arkansas, along with “white women for Obama’ and “Stop Obama’.
I saw a McCain/Palin sign in someone’s yard on the way to work this morning. I almost stopped to pull it out and stomp on it.
No, no, I’m not biased.
i yank em under the cover of darkness and run them over in the street in front of the offending house. they come out in the morning PISSED.
“5.) If you have a dirty bathroom. ( I went to one dudes house and the bottom of the tub was dirt black. EWWW. Cleanliness is next to godliness. I ran out of that place.)”
How does the happen? I mean…he aint cleaned the tub since Clinton left office or something?
Just nasty.
A mudhole of a tub? Are you serious? I’m surprised he didn’t have some kind of funky rash…*dry heaves*
“2.) You are over 25 and are still wearing braids. (This is only acceptable if you are a rapper/producer/Sean Jean Model.)”
braids aren’t acceptable for ANY grown man in my book. and if you’re past the 30 mark, you should be shot.
that’s crazy…i live in california and I think I’ve only seen one…!
*Are a die hard Cubs fan
*Have spent no real time on the South side
*Don’t understand/accept those who don’t eat pork, poultry or red meat.
*Look down your nose at blue collar/service workers
*Can’t be around lesser educated people than yourself and not be judgmental
*Can’t be around wealthier/more successful people than yourself and feel comfortable
I can really relate to these by VEG,“Look down your nose at blue collar/service workers, and Can’t be around lesser educated people than yourself and not be judgmental”, and
by CocoChic, “Filthy bathroom”
*Look down your nose at blue collar/service workers
i agree here too. black wealth aint so dam#n old that nobody in your immediate family did some hard labor so yo @zz could enjoy certain bougie amenities.
“Look down your nose at blue collar/service workers”
These are people I prefer. Not an air of pretention anywhere to be found…lol
let me be clear in Obamaese—this “looking down” is not the business. Looking down is a deal breaker.
Blue collar, white collar, it don’t matter to me. In fact, you may call me….”collar-blind”. Word to Michael Scott.
BAD TIPPERS . . . bad tippers suck @$$ – normally the woman does not pay, but in the rare event that she does refuse my generosity and leaves a wack tip. . .we got issues. . . grandma dukes worked for tips cleaning hotels in manhattan when she came off the boat . . . bad tippers = some single mother’s going to have to feed her child SPAM . . . not poppin! (unless the person just sucked at whatever service they were providing)
i absolutely had bad tippers as well. like, i get physically sick when i’m forced to be in the presence of one
Oh, I am with you on this one. MAJOR deal breaker and I am married.
You better put 15-20% on that table or don’t go out for a meal.
“*Don’t understand/accept those who don’t eat pork, poultry or red meat.”
See I’m one of those people who don’t understand because pork, poultry and red meat are delicious.
exactly
It’s cool if you like it just don’t try to force me to eat curried goat (though, there was a time when I used to tear into the ish).
LOL Damn VEG, so you cant date a northsider huh?? Ur list debacle continues. Though I agree with the rest. :-p
Born and raised on the Northside of Chicago? No. couldn’t date him.
Raised on southside but moved North after college and still hits the southside to visit his fam? Yes.
I am rarely friends with born and raised northsiders. ahem.
man…i aint lived in chicago but wow…i know folks who refuse to date people from Wyoming or Idaho, but the other side of the city…chicago must be VEWWY VEWWY different on that northside.
I find that folks born and raised on the northside – and this is only black folk, white northsiders have no issue heading south! – would say crap like “there is nothing on the southside” or “the southside is dangerous” (yeah…like chicks don’t go missing from Lakeview or get raped in Lincoln Park on the regular?) when they’ve only passed through it.
Folks from the south side, even if they’ve moved north,who’ve spent time on either the low end or in the 100s, know what spots to avoid. lol. AND they know where to look to find the best 4 a.m. live jazz bar in the city, the best Senagalese restaurant, best carribean food, etc.
I think my big issue is that most of the city’s black folk live south and if you are black and can’t enjoy being in the presence of black folk for a few hours- in all our glory or in all our triflingness – we can’t hang.
if you are black and can’t enjoy being in the presence of black folk for a few hours- in all our glory or in all our triflingness – we can’t hang.
Word.
Ok since im just getting around to watching the VH1 Hip Hop honors… here are a few of the deal breakers for me..
-If you think that lil wayne/young jeezy/young burg and all of the other “lil” kids out there is better than mos def/common/nas/epmd/erik b n rakim/de la soul..etc ..may u be shot in the pupil with a ball bearing.
-if you dont have an appreciation of pop rocks, now a laters and sunflower seeds
-”eclectic teeth” (i still love that phrase!) im sorry but, even if you have the greatest personality i will never be able to get past those teeth that fight for attention. Sorry im a lil bit shallow..sue me!
- if your past 35 and your still “saggin” and you dont own at least two suits.
-no sense of humor- nuf said..
I have more..but ill spare ya! lol
Wayne & Young Jeezy IMHO are better than Eric B.
*throat punch*
appropriate use of throat punch there.
I thought so too.
Thanks !
LOL
Dealbreaker: Throat punching me when I claim that I never liked Eric B.
Yeah who voted that dude president?
now does that include Rakim or just Eric B? cuz i mean really, there’s some debate as to what Eric B really did except for DJ. allegedly he muscled everybody into giving him credit for production and shit when marley marl really did most of rakim’s production.
Rakim is nice, Eric B didnt do a damn thing. He’s the only DJ of a group to get an album named after him.
and Jazzy Jeff
actually, Jazzy Jeff is a well respected producer as well. you can thank him for Jill Scott and musiq soulchild. besides, jazz did a lot of production on all of their albums.
“Dealbreaker: Throat punching me when I claim that I never liked Eric B.”
::waving:: Hi there.
6.) You think Beyonce is the greatest anything. (She is an ILLUSION.)
7.) You are a rapper/producer/ Sean Jean Model.
“6.) You think Beyonce is the greatest anything. (She is an ILLUSION.)”
how so?
beyonce is the truth. that girl works and puts on a heck of a show.
hi hater.
“6.) You think Beyonce is the greatest anything. (She is an ILLUSION.)”
bwahahaha Now this definitely deserves a terrorist fist bump.
Speaking of musical dealbreakers:
The love interest of the moment offered to buy me tickets to see the P*ssycat Dolls, live in concert, to make up for not buying our maxwell tickets before they sold out. I hung up in his face and later, with my Creolian powers, fashioned a doll in his likeness and stuck pins in the nipple and testicle area. We’ll see if he ever mentions the P*ssycat Dolls and Maxwell in the same sentence ever again.
P*ssycat Dolls as a consolation for Maxwell? For real, Suga??
Don’t you give him none of yo’ glitter, girl. Not one dayum sprankle, you hear me??
Sorry but WHAT. Maxwell and Pussycat Dolls should never be used in the same sentence. Which city do you live in? He’s been adding shows for cities that sold out. I got tix for the LA show.
Few deal breakers:
-Somebody who has never travelled… like get the hell out of your zip code once in a while por favor… I’ll even settle for going to Mardi Gras. But never left Houston (true story!)? I’m liable to walk out on you on the date.
- Guys who cannot appreciate(or did not even see, gasp!!) X-Men. Not that it’s my favorite movie or anything, but it tells A LOT about the mindset of said person. I was once told by a very otherwise lovable gentleman that he “prefers stuff that happens here on earth”… I was sad for like 2 hours: he was such a good prospect!
- I have a tendency to be very condescending to jocks/ex-student athletes (no offense to you The Champ *rolls eyes*)… but I often (sometimes mistakenly) equate jock-titude with a slight side towards dumbness. And I don’t do dumbness real well.
-Please be able to cite at least ONE favorite classic literary book and tell me why. I don’t care if it’s the only book you read in your entire life but please oh please have one.
- And do not be a RED DEVILS FAN!!!!!!!!! I BLEED BLUE and I AM CHELSEA FOR LIFE (well ex-gunner, but you get the drift)… I positively hate Man U. All the Man U fans are obnoxious and loud for no good reason! And the team sucks! And Chelsea rocks!
That’s not really a deal breaker actually… but best be ready for some REAL trash talking during games. That is all.
- I have a tendency to be very condescending to jocks/ex-student athletes (no offense to you The Champ *rolls eyes*)… but I often (sometimes mistakenly) equate jock-titude with a slight side towards dumbness. And I don’t do dumbness real well.
LOL!!!
MsSula we can be friends…Even thoug im an Arsenal fan…but live 5 mins from chelsea (Judge me not).
i hate man u. I hate their players nd i HATE HATEHATE their a.holish supporters!
i can NOT date a man u supporter!
gunners for life!
and yes, man u supporters gets no love from me.
“Somebody who has never travelled”
I’m with you on that. I love to travel and it would be nice to have a man to travel with.
How bout ex-athletes from good schools? Still hate them too.
“I have a tendency to be very condescending to jocks/ex-student athletes (no offense to you The Champ *rolls eyes*)… but I often (sometimes mistakenly) equate jock-titude with a slight side towards dumbness. And I don’t do dumbness real well.”
hmmmm. should i?
nah. well, not at least until i’ve finished my toast and cheese
I bleed Chelsea Blue!
Stamford Bridge stand up!!!!
-Please be able to cite at least ONE favorite classic literary book and tell me why. I don’t care if it’s the only book you read in your entire life but please oh please have one.
they have to give you a book report to date you?
Just be able to answer this very question: “What’s your favorite book?” followed by “why is it your favorite?”…
Very far from a book report. What can I say, I like my men with a little bit of culture.
*Can’t appreciate New Orleans for its history, beauty and uniqueness/only focusing on the corner boys with the gold fronts
*Doesn’t like documentary films
I am done
“I am done
”
***insert more people***
No more lists from u!! And yes, Champ, she needs a plethora of people, including a choir, an army, a gang of black squirrels, a Girls’ Scout Troop….
and a barbershop quartet…
with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
A Deacon’s Board with Sister O’Dell as chair
and the trustees
“*Can’t appreciate New Orleans for its history, beauty and uniqueness/only focusing on the corner boys with the gold fronts”
yup…my poor home will never be the same…smh
*If you tell me I have “good hair”.
For me, this is only a deal breaker if they do it after being told it irritates me…
*Can’t at least appreciate Phyllis, Donny, Etta, Smokey, David (Ruffin) or understand why Diana is ‘The Boss’
see.
Ur people called. They said they got lost and went back home.
that’s what happens when your people buy a GPS that “fell off the truck”, and that leads me to my other dealbreaker: The EVERYTHING in your home or car is bootleg or black market…. I also cannot date anyone who watches bootleg movies made with the video camera in the thatre.
I cannot take the bootleg movies either. lol.
My mom is a serious offender on this front.
so is my dad.
that’s a good one….a woman with only bootleg stuff will steal your Advil and put Soy Milk in your refrigerator.
non-sequitur? you betcha!
soy milk is dangerous… now rice milk is the bizness.
My mom SWEARS soy milk causes the homosexual gene to kick in during fetal development and advises every pregnant woman she knows not to drink it.
Not that there’s anything wrong w/a homosexual gene kicking in…
“My mom SWEARS soy milk causes the homosexual gene to kick in during fetal development and advises every pregnant woman she knows not to drink it.”
lmao yeah man, those isoflavones might get ya
artist: pre-crazy Lauryn Hill (w/The Fugees)
song: “The Mask”
album: The Score
what do I win???
lol @ “pre-crazy Lauryn Hill”
you’ll probably get the standard omlette they give ya.. lol
naw, no omelet. today…
today…
you get a hi-five!
*hi-five*
*does Usain Bolt victory lap*
This is disgusting. I can not believe that you are so diluted to say that about, The, yes, The Ohio State University. I couldn’t even make it through the entire post. It’s Buckeye Nation ALL day.
We are NOT pretentious. We just note our grandeur and expect others to note it also. However, since that state up north is not capable of producing such opulence, maybe one day we will let you bask in ours.
admittedly, because of terrelle pryor (ohio state qb, pittsburgh kid, next randal cunningham) i’m gonna be an ohio state fan for the next couple of years
My family has been Steelers fans since the 70′s.
note to self: Pe.Riche. and The Champ are in cahoots to do something evil. not sure what that is, but it is evil nonetheless. evil lives in Ohio.
And mental retardation is bred in Michigan.
actually, the first mentally retarded person on record came from Columbus. his name was Morris Lefferts. They called him SlowMoe. he got a full scholarship and graduated with honors from Ohio State.
he couldn’t read by the way.
LMAO!!!
I Concur!
Wait I was concurring with the following statement – “And mental retardation is bred in Michigan”, not with P.
you know you agree with me. its okay. come to the border.
non-sensical….
1. men who whistle when they speak. its usually those words that end or begin with “s” or “t”.
2. air and fire signs (i know this is crazy, but ive managed to avoid these men in serious relationships…yay for me. or maybe not since the earth and water signs weren’t big money shots either)
3. picky eaters.
3a. closet chitlin connoisseurs. its ok to say you have them at christmas dam#n.
4. Men who use the word “bloated” in a sentence-following the phrase “I am”. YUCK!
5. Men who claim they love Donny Hatahway, but can only come up with “This Christmas” in his repertoire. The man has a great big ole catalog of songs. You’re not a fan if “This Christmas” is your favorite.
6. Men who often use the words/phrases: “dress pants”, “toiltries”, “awesome”, adorable, “Im sensitive”.
“Men who often use the words/phrases: “dress pants”, “toiltries”, “awesome”, adorable, “Im sensitive”.
lol Comeback Girl–if he does all of that, he might be looking for the same thing you’re looking for–a man.
Shelia do you wanna exchange my “tears for fears”..
these are the things i can do without…lol
Comeback you are KILLING ME! LOL. Not whistles…
How about a lisp period??? Adding it to my list now.
i dont mind lisps. but that shyt betnot form any type of whistle. usually if a man is talking with his tongue he ain’t whistlin dixie.
ah! i cant stand this either! lisps – i want to laugh at a grown *ss man that speaks like that. i know im wrong.
worse yet to me is the thing called a ‘rhotacism’ -
in speech. dude would say something like
“awe you weeally weady to go white now?”
its cute when youre 8. not 28.
btw his mother was an english teacher.
**snort** How can you take that dude seriously? And what if your future kids had the same problem? I’m telling y’all shake the family tree real well before you procreate and see what kind of issues fall out
““awe you weeally weady to go white now?””
nurse i need 500cc’s of typocondrophill-blogashere…STAT..do not delay.
Funny you mention signs, bc one of my dealbreakers is people who follow Zodic signs like they are the truth.
“Funny you mention signs, bc one of my dealbreakers is people who follow Zodic signs like they are the truth.”
say what???? I was gonna check the sun and the rising of your newest unicorn, but now…im not.
Why is it that we just relocated…lmao!!
…**just got a text** headed to the tree house as we speak, lol!!
I find the signs entertaining but that’s about it… I still luv ya though, lol
Yeah…I know more than a few people who follow these a bit tooo closely…
“3a. closet chitlin connoisseurs. its ok to say you have them at christmas dam#n”
They make these? Every person I know who eats them, are proud chitlin eaters.
I keep telling you I get called a genric nuh all the time by them (my family)…lol
“They make these? Every person I know who eats them, are proud chitlin eaters.”
Miss T there are alot of lyin @zz chitlin eaters in the world. “They’re Gross”..”They Stink” blah blah blah…but as soon as you tell them its a Korean delicacy…oh THEN they remembered they had some yesterday.
“Korean delicacy”
::snicker::
This is great!
6. Men who often use the words/phrases: “dress pants”, “toiltries”, “awesome”, adorable, “Im sensitive”.
you got beef with “awesome”? lol thats such a standard across the board word. lucky for you i’m so f*ckin’ awesome that my awesomeness recognizes that everybody has their own quirks, though no one on the corner is awesome like us, awesome like us, awesome like us.
P why don;t you just throw all the words in there. Use dress pants, toiletries, awesome, adorable and im senstive in a sentence. please
Hmm…let’s see if i can pull this off:
I’m so “awesome” that all the b*tches think i’m “adorable” when I tell them that “i’m sensitive” like Ralph Tresvant, which always leads them to trying to get into my “dress pants”, but then I have to kick the heffas out once they go trying to use my “toiletries” cuz I’m like, “b*tch, get ya own!”
a-ha like a black and white penciled video!
“leads them to trying to get into my “dress pants”, but then I have to kick the heffas out once they go trying to use my “toiletries” cuz I’m like, “b*tch, get ya own!””
LOL
***”Yes Washington Post, i would like write my own obituary. ***
Dealbreakers?
yellow teeth/black gums
no attempts to become cultured on anything outside of hiphop
have any children or criminal records
intimidated by a black woman with a brain
admires the ying yang twins as rap artists
usage of any derogatory terms about gay people or women as insults e.g. “fag” or pussy…respect is sexy.
Side note: I actually attend the University of Michigan…I’m in my campus apartment as I type. So does your alma mater still kick my college’s ass? (Sadly, if they are halfway decent in football, they probably do.)
“yellow teeth/black gums”
i spoke to a crystal meth head a month or so ago, that actually had black teeth and yellow gums. i was almost tempted to take a picture.
she also had a mullet
Champ, I’m REAL mad at u that u let that PRIME opportunity pass u by. I would totally risk gettin beat up for that comic gold.
chocking on my laughter…
no pic??? After I gave y’all the afro-albino! dang dude.
“admires the ying yang twins as rap artists”
the ying yang twins changed the game when they made “the whisper song” one of the most innovative songs of the past 20 years. i’m not ashamed to admit that i think this.
and no, since you go to michigan, you’re in the clear (though my grad alma mater would whip michigan’s arse in football lately)
MC beating anyone other than a pop warner team is unbelievable
Please chop this up for me, Panama. What was so amazing about The Whisper Song? The fact that most black women will sing along to anything, including “wait till you see my d*ck, hey b*tch”?
naw, the minimalist but effective production. the whole whisper style of rapping on that song and the complete tastefulness of the video. they managed to make an otherwise ridiculous song into something slightly classy and entertaining.
AND they said, “wait til you see my d*ck” over and over.
just like the brillance of Lil’ John making a #1 song that made it okay to shout Skeet Skeet public.
True Story…when that song came out this 2520 chick at my old job asked me what it “skeet” was. I just started laughing.
She asks…”Is it something nasty?”
I reply, “Um yeah…kinda.”
She asks again, “C’mon, tell me what it means.”
I tell her ,”Seriously, you don’t know?”
Puzzled look.
I finally broke it down and after I did, she wasn’t so hype about that song anymore…lol Especially after I played her the non-radio-edit version. You know with the sweat dripping down his…um alright.
*shedding a tear*
i know right, it’s beautiful, ain’t it?
” So does your alma mater still kick my college’s ass? (Sadly, if they are halfway decent in football, they probably do.)”
Lolita, you and I could kick PJ’s alma mater’s @$$ in football.
um, Gem, we were cool. Don’t make me call Bennett out here in these streets…
yeah, bennett could whoop up on yall too. even in those long, mormon dress style homecoming “suits” they be wearing…
I got as far as Donny Hathaway before I HAD to go put on “Misty”.
Word.
Just had to put it out there.
you know, i have everything Donny Hathaway has done music-wise to include albums he didn’t sing on but just arranged.
i’ve spent over 30 bucks to get a Donny Hathaway CD imported from Japan…lol.
he even gets a special section of my CD collection that houses all CD’s in order of release.
not that i’m a superfan or anything. he just aight.
Replace superfan with stan and that you are. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
P. Jack, I think I love ya man!
Dealbreakers
- if you listen to only one kind of music (ill pray for ya, just wont date ya.) gotta love the old school, and not just because someone remixed it for rap.
- if you have the ‘BS, theres no one to lame but yourself’ point of view about katrina…you may get a nut punch.
-if you are a non-reader (Jean Toomer, word.)
-if you are a sissy, pretty boy (I fish and hunt, deal.)
-if you are homophobic
- NO gold teeth, gold front, silver, platinum, etc. Please!
Dont know what else. Im pretty laid-back about this.
Gets kicked out of the Benz 190E if….
- She likes Kweli as a rapper. (shows she’s deaf AND has no critical faculties)
- She’s only into hip hop lite (kweli, tribe, de la, mos def, roots, you know the usual suspects of allegedly conscious folks). You’re not hip hop if that’s the only people you like.
- At *any* time thought that Cosby had a point during his Cheesecake speech.
- Constantly wears Espadrilles, platforms, wedges and other “my first heels”
- Wears some other make up than MAC. Go au natural before you sully my presence with a lesser cosmetic. Like we won’t all know that you’re wearing Revlon.
- Doesn’t gulp
- Not adventurous, esp food wise
- Is a chain snob (I don’t care what you talking bout, them cheddar biscuits @ Red Lobstas is hitting)
- Super picky (and vocal) about the cleanliness of restaurants
- Looks down on women with perms/naturals
- Still watches her “stories”
But my # 1 screening question is
“what’s your favorite fruit”
If she says something other than Mango, (as the great grand son of a Mango farmer and heir to a mango empire*) I have to say, get the hell on.
*I’m not heir to a mango empire. That would be my good for nothing cousin who got named in the will. But one day I will take back what is rightfully mine, and the world shall know the glory of the Julie variety.
West Indian U r too funny!
Ummmm u think u want to share that mango wealth with me??? I’ll love you forever and ever!
xoxo peeps… duty doth call
WIA, I’m allergic to mangoes. Would you stock up on the Benadryl for a chick like me? I love the taste of a good mango but hives are not s3xy.
U’r allergic to mangoes?? PBG, how do u live???
I just watch my Mother eat them. I have to live vicariously through her.
I found out I was allergic when I was 9 (had to go to the ER that day) and every few years or so I’d try and see if I’d grown out of it. Nope. Every time I eat some my mouth swells and I get itchy red welts all over. I can’t even use body lotions and stuff w/pure mango in it.
It’s a hard-knock, non-mango life for me.
*Cues violins and takes a bite of mango in PBG’s honor*
“Wears some other make up than MAC. Go au natural before you sully my presence with a lesser cosmetic. Like we won’t all know that you’re wearing Revlon.”
Same (Fine) ???? is that you???
A host of drugstore cosmetic products work WAY better than MAC ever did. Word to black opal.
“If she says something other than Mango, (as the great grand son of a Mango farmer and heir to a mango empire*) I have to say, get the hell on.”
lol…cuttin/peelin feels too much like work to me.
Say word @ Black Opal! That’s one of my favorite product lines. They are the only ones that have a foundation that matches my brown skin PERFECTLY. I use what is good for me, name brands be damn’d.
i roll with the black opal bronzer erryday all day.
**i didn’t mean to turn this into a beauty blog**
girl please…we could talk. lol
Yup, I used to work at Sephora and I had to NOT tell people that the expensive makeup was $hitty and that they were better off going to the drugstore. Keep it easy, breezy, beautiful, Cover Girl and you’ll be fly and “unbroke”
I love the hell outta Sephora.
Free samples all day!
I used to walk into Sephora before dates, do my make up, and walk my ass back out. Awww…those were the days.
I agree… I used to be a die hard M.A.C. wearer… but I’m not so devoted anymore… I still do somethings, but nothing makes my lips pop like Victoria Secret gloss.
Bare Minerals lip gloss is the bizness as well,yezzir!
im mad that men are judging women on makeup brand choices. that is a little how you doin…but i guess its a new “clairol” day. LOL
hahahahha!!!! I don’t think he should be paying attention like that…
Oh yeah…I like the Neutrogena lip gloss. I’m thrifty. (read:cheap as hell).
haha comeback! I thought that sounded a lil suspect. how the hell does a man know if a woman is wearing mac?
@ Cuz and Nick
i think he was being funny…a straight man can not out smart me on makeup. He just droppin a name he pick walkin to an exit at nordstom. …”oh yeah MAC..i need me a highmaintance woman”.
Ain’t that the damn truth???!!! I pray that he was being funny…. and who the hell admits they want a high maintenance woman? who does that? LOL.
“im mad that men are judging women on makeup brand choices. that is a little how you doin…but i guess its a new “clairol” day. LOL”
Oh SHATT!!!! I’m dying! LMAO. But I agree.
“but nothing makes my lips pop like Victoria Secret gloss.”
OMG Vickie’s lip gloss is the ONLY one I’ll wear…unlike lip glass, I can actually separate my lips to speak when I have vickie’s on.
WTF is in lip glass, elmers?
it is rubber cement with color in it
you guys are cracking me thhhhheeee hell up.. but seriously M.A.C lip gloss makes white c*m lines in the corners and rims of your lips. HATED IT
I can see how that would be a problem.
Vickie’s lip gloss…my FAVE! I love that stuff.
i gotta try this Vicki lip gloss nah…
i’ve tried Neutrogena too@ miss T..i think its pretty good.
yes m’am the vickis is fantabulous
It will change your life.
like good head….
lmao! *flashback*
clinique superbalm is what’s up.
WIA, you ARE a man rite?? Why do you care if your woman is a MAC fanatic?? This bothers me a bit…
I only date high maintenance chicks.
why do that to yourself?
I like how you appeared out of nowhere on this thread to respond to “I only date high maintenance chicks”
lol.
I read all but I only speak when I feel the need to
*whoosh*
^^^
sound of joke flying over head
technically…some would say MAC is the makeup to the drag queens…highmaintaince is the subtle complicated stuff, the chanel, the complicated color matched clinque type stuff, bobby brown, kevin aucoin..just an fyi.
“highmaintaince is the subtle complicated stuff, the chanel, the complicated color matched clinque type stuff, bobby brown, kevin aucoin”
Agreed. REAL high maintenance chicks have on 3 layers of product but look like they only have on blush and gloss.
**hi five Jesus**
MAC does not equal high maint…more like ghetto fab. u ever been to harlem? there’s a mac store on 125th street. lil’ mama is rappin about mac…
walk thru the beauty floor of saks, neimans, nordstroms, bloomies…then talk high maint. all that make-up ish is overated anyway…don’t guys want to see her real face anytime?
About the harlem thing. . . there are also W/P walking around harlem in small groups, slowly, and smiling . . . I noticed this a few weeks ago and was floored at the imminent gentrification of Harlem . . . But a high class store on 125 is competely believeable nowadays.
err um uh…my point was that it’s not high class – hence it being on 125th street. And with all the gentrification – it’s not like you’re going to ever see a W hotel down there. The w/p thing isn’t new to me anymore – they are my neighbors (where I grew up and where my mom continues to live) now.
A bit? It’s bothering me lots.
LMAO at “my first heels”
Regarding the make up thing.. um yeah there are only 2 or 3 companies that actually create makeup they then sell it to the distributors i.e. (Cover Girl, Clinique, M.A.C., Estee Lauder, Revlon, Opal etc.). They then price it based upon the consumer they are trying to attract.
Studies have actually been done that prove that in most cases the cheaper drug store varieties and AVON are a better quality, last longer blah blah blah…
and for the record M.A.C is on the lower rung of “higher end” makeup. There are other “makeup” distributors that are much more exclusive and better than MAC
Hot dayum! I knew it! A make-up conspiracy!!
Once again, I am better informed as a result of my affiliations on VSB.
and knowing is half the battle
***While walking to the train I turned the corner and I saw a rat, but then realize that it was a little dog. I like some little dogs, but at 6 am my mind plays tricks on me.***
Ok with that said, my list….
Food smacking. If you can’t chew properly and quietly, then bounce.
No love for sports. Enough said
Have bad teeth and not be in the process of having them fixed. I work in a dental office and have seen some ISH.
Not think that Dave Chappelle is funny or have no sense of humor.
Just to name a few, I’l be back later
“While walking to the train I turned the corner and I saw a rat, but then realize that it was a little dog. I like some little dogs, but at 6 am my mind plays tricks on me.”
was the rat on a leash?
wear their trousers wrong… too short is a no-no, too long is too street-sweepers, too tight is very questionable, too baggy is way too immature, too high-waisted is overly geeky, too low and you wonder why they feel the need to waddle like a penguin.
shoes/teeth… is a whole different list.
don’t watch cartoons like Tom & Jerry.
are not into football and don’t understand the off-side rule (soccer for the americans).
can’t do DIY, at least as good as I can.
hmmm…. maybe i have the issues.
you had me at trousers
My #1 deal breaker is if he doesn’t like to read. Reading is not limited to just books; even if he just read newspapers and magazines (other than sports illustrated), then that would be cool too.
#2 If he only listens to rap. I love rap music. I like to listen to almost everything (can’t get into hard rock). But if a man can’t get down with some R & B or at least old school R & B every now and then, him and I would have some issues. It’s not like he has to love Prince like I do (although that would be nice.)
#3 If he disrespects his mama, then I know in time he’ll disrespect me. If I ever see this behavior, I’m out.
“doesn’t like to read”
people who claim they hate reading..have the conversation to prove it.
“people who claim they hate reading..have the conversation to prove it.”
They sure do and that’s one reason why we couldn’t make it as a couple because I like a man who is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects.
I don’t want to fool w/you @ all if:
* you’re wearing braids. locs are DEFINITELY ok.
* have a kid that you don’t take care of. and “take care of” doesn’t mean send a check to his mama once a month. And if your kid is younger than 8 years old, beat it.
* question my proclivity towards putting my expansive vocabulary to use in everyday conversation.
* unfunny
* scared of technology
* have a myopic view of the world
* are snobbish and/or elitist
* have effed up teeth
* are extra sensitive
I already said bad taste in music. I can’t emphasize this enough. I am a music person and if you are one of those strictly “radio” people and aren’t even remotely interested in expanding your sonic horizons…get off my property!! Same goes for reading. If you don’t read newspapers/magazines or books, you are a slacker and have no place in my life.
Oh…please don’t be skinny.
That’s all for now.
And please don’t be a grown a$$ man and can’t handle your liquor. I will clown you for the rest of my days.
Yes!!!
“Oh…please don’t be skinny.”
Holla.
::head nod::
“And if your kid is younger than 8 years old, beat it.”
Just wondering why this particular age…
Cuz the younger the kid, the more likely Daddy is still boinking Mommy.
Seriously, early childhood is 0-8 and very young kids need their daddies. I always feel like I could be possibly taking away from their time by dating a really small kid’s daddy. So to feel better about MYSELF and my philosophical views on childhood, I don’t do it.
I can’t stand a skinny man. Forgot to put that on my list.
If I’m thicker than a snicker, uou need to be thicker than a snickers and 2 rice cakes..with peanut butter in the middle
OMG Panama!!
You did not just insult The Buckeyes like that?? We have a “The” in front of our name because we are THE ishhhh….let’s not hate please.
So in a perfect world, you and I could not make it work?? ::insert sad/disappointed face::
nope.
My deal breakers (and I’m sure there are more than this!)
1. I am 27….. I cannot date a rapper (no matter how much I want to lick one.)
2. If he sags his pants, it’s OVER..
3. No gold teeth. If he has yellow teeth… there are too many products out now that help with a good smile (i.e. Crest Whitestrips)
4. If he can talk about nothin BUT HIS CHILD…..
5. If he ONLY provides monetary support for his child…
6. Tall SOCKS! (unsexy)
7. Being a Republican…..
8. Lisps. I can only think of Mike Tyson.
9. Men who curse constantly. I hate that shat.
“I hate that shat.”
lol..me too EXPAND your muthafykin vocabulary.
Damn Straight! LOL
what about men with extensive vocabularies who curse proficiently and sh*t?
I can deal with this. LOL. Cause my mouth is piss poor. Even though I’m working on that.
…this is a no-no. I hate cussing.
10. And please don’t tell me you only date “light skinded girls” like that shat is a compliment. I WILL spit in your face.
LMAO…damn girl!!
“And please don’t tell me you only date “light skinded girls” like that shat is a compliment.”
YES. Take your color complex elsewhere. But I abhor spit so I’d kick him in the nuts
id do BOTH.
once on a date dude told me a big reason he asked me out was bc he ‘likes cat-eyed mullatos’
thats a throat-punch, yes?
*he proceeded to eat half my meal after refusing to order his own*
Yes. Here ya go…
*throat punch*
Yes…here ya go.
*throat punch*
6. Tall SOCKS! (unsexy)
??
God yes…I will clown you. If you are over the age of 3 there is no reason. I can’t explain it but it causes me to throw up in my mouth a little….I can’t stand it.
i still rock tall socks with the colored stripes. with my Chucks.
i’m fly.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
LOL @ Southern Girl!
@Champ: Those socks that aren’t ankle songs! Hate em….
err… socks.
see, the only time i wear shorts is when i hoop, so other than when i’m wearing a suit or something, my socks are irrelevant
Or when we are cuddling on the couch and I see your big sucks sloppily hanging on your ankles.
guys who wear shorts when not playing ball on otherwise engaged in sports-type activity…
doesnt irk me enough to fully be on the ‘weird deal breaker’ list…. i might reconsider it next summer.
especially the kind that are more like wide leg capris and ish.
I could not have maintained a relationship with a guy who does not wear or at least appreciate a nice sweater. Especially an argyle cashmere vest sweater. I love to buy sweaters for my guy. If a man just so happened to have been in a relationship with me come the turn of fall to winter, he received a sweater from me.
Could never date a man with girly looking hands.
Could never date a man who did not wear socks with his shoes. (Flip flops and slippers are the only exceptions)
Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like eggs.
Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like cereal.
Can you buy me one, there’s a nice Ralph Lauren Black Label one on sale for like $795
“I could not have maintained a relationship with a guy who does not wear or at least appreciate a nice sweater.”
this is definitely unique
and these…
“Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like eggs.”
“Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like cereal.”
…cracked me up for some reason
Champ the right kind of sweaters can be sexy. I like the look.
And on the latter, first of all they both mirror simplicity. I need someone that can appreciate the simple things in life. And they are two of my favorite quick meals. Besides I can cook eggs over 10 ten different ways.
They make for a perfect afternoon snack after a roll in the sack.
and these…
“Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like eggs.”
“Would not be in a relationship with a guy who does not like cereal.”
…cracked me up for some reason
I think it’s the undeniable Suessian quality of the comment. At least that’s what made me chuckle.
Ya’ll know Dr. Suess wrote some great American classics. Don’t front.
PBG I know you will appreciate this. As an English major the hardest course for my major that I took in undergrad (aside from the Shakespeare class) was a class on the language of literature. We studied the rhyme pattern of the literature of Dr. Seuss. That is when I fell in love with the Cat in the Hat. Seuss is genius.
like in Brown Sugar, and if he were alive, i’d ask him to be my rap coach. so people can say “it’s not just neuroscience with you”
I agree with every single item on this list!! I do loves me a man in a well fitted sweater…and one who likes to eat a nice big bowl of cap’n crunch or honey bunches of oats. lol.
First off, as an alum of The Ohio State University (law school), I must say…
MUCK FICHIGAN!!!! GO BUCKEYES!!!!
My deal breakers
1. cornrows…if you are over the age of 12, you should no longer rock cornrows. I don’t care if you do play for the NBA. Get a haircut or grow a nice set of dreads.
2. Grills, fronts, gold teeth, or anything else that requires putting metal or a metal like substance in your mouth for a reason other than filling a cavity.
3. Men who are afraid to try new foods, new beverages, new music. Just doesn’t like new experiences.
4. Using of slang constantly. If you have a degree in anything, you should be able to speak (sometimes) without sounding like you are giving an interview on Rap City.
4. Men who don’t have an appreciation of old school R&B.
5. Tims and shorts.
6. Is either unregistered to vote, registered but will not vote, or a Republican.
“5. Tims and shorts.”
this is kind of “around the house sexxay”…that should not see the light of day.
Right along with house shoes and socks… I keep trying to tell my little brother to quit doing that stuff.
Leave it to the West-siders (j/k)
“Right along with house shoes and socks”
ok thats not sexxay NICK.
lol, so true. As for my deal breakers, they are as followed:
1) Teeth Action: Action could be a severe overbite, discoloration, major gaps, just please have a nice smile. I’m a sucker for a nice smile.
2) I don’t like alcohol. Shoot me. The smell kills me.
3) dirty clothes, especially undergarments…ugh.
4) people who say they don’t like reading, who SAYS that out loud?
5) If you are Republican,poof! be gone.
6) If you look anything like Flav.
they make my feet hot just looking at them.
i think Tims and shorts work really well.
i love pulling out the Tims when its hot and i got on shorts…
Tims and shorts are a Brooklynite’s summer apparel for the block . . . sometimes, when no longer in Brooklyn and running a quick errand (say to CVS to get you some Midol), this apparel subconsciously makes perfect sense. I’m just saying.
how does it make sense? shorts = i’m hot. timbs = i’m cold. and we say white ppl are confused with the weather.
there are too many fine sneaker manufactuers out there to just bust out with the timbs…this is not 1990. upgrade
why do Timberland workboots, which have absolutely nothing to do with weather = cold? they’re all purpose like a mug.
now…a sleeveless turtleneck? THAT is some confusing sh*t. if i see anybody with one, especially people i dont know, i ask them about their choices in life.
u just named the purpose….workboots! now y would anyone be casually wearing workboots? even construction workers need a break from the norm.
but really…timbs are also (not soley) weather-conscious footwear.
i can’t find the words to comment on the sleeveless turtleneck…lol
Exactly…they are work boots. Where are you working where the dress code is Tims and Khaki shorts?
“how does it make sense? shorts = i’m hot. timbs = i’m cold. and we say white ppl are confused with the weather.
there are too many fine sneaker manufactuers out there to just bust out with the timbs…this is not 1990. upgrade”
Completely subconscious. . .gotta go somewhere fast . . .got on basketball shorts and my Lawrence Taylor Jersey . . . tims are unlaced and ready to go . . . Just look at them as our equivalent to flip flops . . . i dont think ive ever seen a black man wear flip flops outside. . .Ever . . . not that I stare at the feet of men, but something like that would garner a few seconds of wtf time.
“i dont think ive ever seen a black man wear flip flops outside. ”
they do. i’ve seen many a black man (first site a college) do this. they are usually wearing some sort of shells around their necks also.
what about the adidas (or other athletic) slip-on? i’ve seen this worn also…with socks (sorry Nicki). I don’t mind it…got used to seeing the college athletes rock this look.
u can wear ure timbs and shorts if ure in a rush…just don’t try to talk to me. lol. nah, on second thought, if ure damn fine…i’ll entertain u…but i’m gonna ask u about those timbs bruh.
Everywhere I’ve lived outside of NYC I have had to explain myself. Exception: Alaska . . . where w/p shovel snow in these “flip flops” and wear flannel and carharts to the horrible attempts at “grown and sexy” parties . . . yeah . . . that happened
The slip-ons would work I guess . . . I just never think to buy them because my tims serve this purpose.
That was my college outfit, football issued sweats, frat shirts and nike chacletas (socks optional)
“chacletas” should read chancletas
please stop butchering the language of my people we do it enough damage. Thank you
See down here they call ‘em chanclas…interesting…lol
yeah like I said we butcher it enough so you don’t have to
chanclas is a derivative of the actual word Chancletas which is also slang
Yeah I figured as much…we got tex-mex Spanish to contend with…makes it real hard when you’re trying to learn traditional Spanish…lol
sorry IH i forgot the n
another deal breaker….
a smoker. Sorry, but I don’t want my house, clothes, car, hair or anything else smelling like smoke.
men who don’t eat vegetables. I mean really, what are you 8? Be a man and and eat your veggies!!
My deal breaker is someone who is open to seeing and experiencing the world, no culture at all. I’m outgoing so I need that.
When the Ohio State representative was signing the form to be recognized as an acredited university he accidentally put “The” in front and thats how it’s officially part of their name, no BS. I have had enuff people from Ohio confirm this. Personally I hate Ohio State.
Yeah…they’re pretty serious with the “The”…lol
-overly religous/closed off people – I dont mind religon but be able to discuss other things besides whats been drilled in your head in church. be open to otehr ideas besides your own. be able to think and process outside of that bubble. Bible thumpers make my dik soft.
-cowboys fans – besides the fact that they are sh!t my father would disown me
-airheads
-people that only listen to radio music
-you don’t like the X-Men? You dont like comics? Phuc you
non drinkers or non smokers
I forgot about that. phuc those people. I’ll give u a pass if you are tolerant of me swiggin my crown in front of you while I roll up and toke up. Otherwise I’ll blow smoke in your face and spike your drink.
“I’ll blow smoke in your face and spike your drink.”
ice cold!!
I love blowin dank in the face of those that tell me how horrible weed is. I get joy watchin them choke on it
My sister doesn’t smoke ganja, but when we go to places that promote smoking the sticky icky in the open, she always ask that it’s blown in her face. Cracks me up!
**Put your lighters up
she is cool then. No problems with her. She can get a shotgun
Yes. Please don’t judge me cuz I like herbal refreshments.
you know while I don’t judge that you partake in herbal stimulation, don’t judge that I don’t
Im actually allergic to smoke and have had delayed asthma attacks as a result, so I don’t do the smoke thing, I don’t mind if you do but blow smoke in my face and you might end up missing some teeth.
“Im actually allergic to smoke and have had delayed asthma attacks as a result, so I don’t do the smoke thing”
yo tambien!
so violent you are.
I blow smoke in the faces of those people that preach to me about the evils of drugs and then tell me a bunch of incorrect facts they heard on some after school special or some weak willed drug fiend.
I can respect your reasons for not smoking my moms has the smoke allergy too.
yeah and in the meantime my dad was an alcoholic and an addict (33 years clean) and I worked in substance abuse and mental health so anything I would tell you about your herbal stimulation would come from the frame of mind that the crap they mix with the actual herb is what is doing you in, and not the herb itself. Nothing is pure anymore.
“I blow smoke in the faces of those people that preach to me about the evils of drugs and then tell me a bunch of incorrect facts they heard on some after school special or some weak willed drug fiend.”
as a well informed member of a community that studies the brain, i just say no to drugs. tho oddly enough, i know of many people within this same community who do coke. obviously, we’re a diverse group.
“I’ll blow smoke in your face and spike your drink.”
Add one of Champ’s butt punches to that and it sounds like a hot date to me. Mmmhmm.
Deal Breakers re: the middle aged man:
A man who can’t change a tire or his oil in an emergency.
The kind of men who would look at my daughter “that way”, or ask my son if he can hook them up with some good weed.
Men who lack humor, street smarts, sex appeal, drinks too much, thinks he’s a “teddy bear” but is grossly overweight, cheap, cringes when black folks use the N-word, or lives in a bubble and rarely reads the news.
“The kind of men who would look at my daughter “that way”, or ask my son if he can hook them up with some good weed.”
damn. this made me feel all yucky and sh*t
The only deal breaker I can think of is being a broke ugly selfish lying punk-@ss blasphemous b!tch. That votes for Mccain.
damn. sounds like you need a hero and sh*t
what makes a woman a punk?
My #1 obvious.
You must love music. Especially hip-hop. All other kinds as well.
2. You must drink
(I dated a kat one time who didn’t drink…and needless to say…he was a very brief encounter. 3 dates…sight of booty–nil.)
3. Must love sports. At least Football, Basketball and Baseball. Oh yeah and the Olympics.
4. You must be reasonably sane. (Goes without saying)
miss t-lee, who doesn’t like music? i actually put that on my list, then took it off cause i figured that never is a problem.
this is making me realize how hard it is to find someone these days. and our lists are pretty basic, but as No More Heroes pointed out, if they have all the qualities, they are a punk-@ss blasphemous b!tch. Lord help us.
I’ve rant (yes rant) across some dudes who didn’t get the music thing. One even tried to question my love of DMX. We weren’t gonna work…lol
there are people who don’t like music, they also lack a soul.
I concur.
when i meet people who have like 2 CD’s, it perplexes me. i used to date this chick who only really liked 112 and nothing else. needless to say we didnt’ work out…this particular chick had a tendency to touch my radio in my car too…
we had a slight tiff over that one b/c she thought it was okay to change my sh*t without my permission…
I feel you on that one bruh . . . I HATE when I am driving a girl somewhere and she just changes my stations . . . not even a side glance to see if it is OK . . . just changing stations like she put gas in the b!tch!
Yeah…no one touches the deck in my car.
Not even my grandma…I ain’t playing.
“2. You must drink”
I’m not really fond of men who dont drink either. Could be due to me being an alcoholic and not wanting anybody to bring my high down…iono *shrug*
Funny thing is, i’m not a fan of weed smokers, but if you drink…we cool. lol
Same here. I feel ya.
Hey hey hey! As a PROUD alum of THE Ohio State University.. I take offense to the nonsense that was spoken about my fabulous institution. That ‘school’ up north wishes it could grow up to be like OSU..
Muck Fichigan.. Go Bucks!
“We don’t give damn about the whole state of Michigan.. We’re from O-H-I-O!”
seriously, what good has come out of Ohio? you all cost us 4 more years of George Bush.
what good has come out of Ohio?
ME!!!
that all you got?
Sh*t that’s all I need. Other states would LOVE to be able to brag that I was born and raised in their states. Ha!
it’s not that you’re wrong…it’s just that you’re mistaken…lol.
OH, and dudes who are only nice to their girls. Social skills are key people! I hate when my friends have to pull teeth to get a grown arse man’s head out of his own arse to say hello. Get.It.Together.
Dudes who don’t respect their mothers. Die!
Dudes who don’t know history, especially their own. Having a basic grasp of past events helps understand some of the bullish we see today.
There are more I’m sure, but then I know someone will cover it. 8th, where are you?
“Dudes who don’t respect their mothers. Die!”
i agree…unless your mom is brianna barksdale
worst mom ever
BUCKEYES STAND UP. I am a proud alumni of THE Ohio State University. I will ALWAYS be a Buckeye and will kill ninjas dead!
With that said – F*CK Michigan. Ann Arbor is a whore!
And how do you claim allegiance to a school you never went to…..BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Lol….ok, naggas!!
Although I attended the best school in the universe (Spelman College – Hi haters), I spent a summer working at Ohio State and a summer working at University of Michigan. Between the two, Uof M wins. Case closed. lol
HI SPEL SIS!!!!*waving*
Hey girl. *waving back*
The Queen knows what’s up…besides football, what does OSU have on Michigan?
i have no clue why i’m so diehard about Michigan. but when i was little, i lived near there and all of my family were big michigan supporters…
plus, it makes for interesting posts.
I just ordered my VSB and Obama gear…and will be rocking them both on FAMU Homecoming weekend!!!
Shouts out to Panny and Champ!
this brought smile to my morning and sh*t. good job
no problem mister!!
yeah…thanksa bunch…i’m rocking mine to morehouse’s homecoming…we finna be put on blast…
hell, howard’s homecomign for that matter…
i’m sooo jealous that you’re going to be in the A’ this weekend with all those specimen of fine bruthas…although i know you’re going for the chicks that are drooling like i am at this very moment.
…and then Howard is next weekend, I swear October is the best month of the year…ESPECIALLY since I was born in it!!!
I will not date any man who is a Dallas Cowboys fan. I cannot tolerate “America’s Team” and wish they would just disappear. There is a special spot in Hades roped off for their overzealous fan boys as well. Extra Sisyphus time for being a Terrell Owens fan, especially. T.O. make my arse itch.
eff the cowboys
Totally. I forgot to put these bamas on my list! Eff em! Hot azz bamas…..
I 2nd this. I will date them though just so I can piss them off after every loss.
I’ve dated 2 die hard Cowboys fans and I will put salt on the wound when your precious team loses.
Love it mayne!
I wear my Sean Taylor jersey in front of cowboys fans
Wow.
i second this emotion…
Pac Man got in a fight with his bodyguard hahahahahahahahahahaha
cowboys are a dumpster fire
“Extra Sisyphus time for being a Terrell Owens fan, especially. T.O. make my arse itch.”
yeah, t.o. almost gets jim jones status in the champ’s penthouse cave
I used to say this too until I moved to Dallas and my pool was nil. I dated one but I still wore my Skins jersey to the parties there. Do you know how much ish I caught because of that?
I know you caught plenty. Remember I’m a Steelers fan, in Texas no doubt. I catch ish weekly…lol
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE MY BOYS AND YOUR HATE JUST MAKES IT BETTER.
My sister went to Michigan and she passed that hatred of Ohio State to me lol. She might disown me if I brought home a guy who went to Ohio State…
Other deal breakers for me:
My high school had a strong rivarly with this one other high school that is just as bad as Michigan-Ohio State and I still couldn’t date a guy who went to school there. Everyone is my town grew up hating this school and the rivalry is still as strong.
Republicans- My family is strong democrats and politics is discussed all of the time. It just wouldn’t work out.
Any guy who doesn’t like sports, especially basketball. I’m a huge basketball fan.
Any guy who doesn’t like to travel. That’s my #1 favorite thing to do. I’m not talking about because of money, but just a guy who just has no interest in it.
Any guy who’s snobbish towards other cultures.
“Any guy who doesn’t like sports, especially basketball. I’m a huge basketball fan.”
my type of chick
I forgot to add that I went to Syracuse University so if you don’t like their sports teams, then we’re done. Go Orange!
could never date:
1. NY Giants fan
2. cigarette smoker
3. a non weed smoker
4. a person who doesn’t like or watch sports or my favorite shows. Entourage, South Park, Family Guy, American Dad, the Wire, Larry David, Seinfeld, the Simpsons, Sopranos, First 48, Prison Break, etc
5. someone who’s easily brainwashed by radio programming
6. a person who’s excessive with the current fashion trends
7. a Pork eater
8. Dirty and scruffy lookin chicks
9. Prude @ss females
10. a chick without goals in life
11. Females with low credit scores (and I will find out)
12. Females with too much baggage
13. a females that doesn’t know how to boil water
14. a clingy person
11. Females with low credit scores (and I will find out)
Are you running credit checks on chicks? lol
Don’t look this way, man. My credit is in therapy right now for severe depression.
Hell yeah! I don’t want no chick with effed up credit. I’m looking to get married in the near future, so a female with effed up credit would make my ish go down. The same way a dumb @ss female would corrupt my genes if we were to ever have kids. That’s like mixing Grey Goose with Smirnoff
LMAO @ mixing Grey Goose with Smirnoff.
“8. Dirty and scruffy lookin chicks”
**chuckling**
8th’s nonsensical deal-breakers:
- You went to Duke. It is NEVER gonna happen, chum.
- If you flat out refuse to kill the bug that is slowly creeping towards me and plotting my demise because, “it aint that serious” or “That bug aint hurting you”. Get the hell outta my house.
- You have a lisp.
- You have no sense of style. I once dumped a guy that showed up to a casual date in ankle-hugging ill-fitting jeans, a scrubby gray pull-over fleece, asics sneakers, and a silver chain…and I’ll do it again.
- You have no bass in your voice at all.
-You know nothing about the X-Men or the Justice League.
- You have ever put some sort of jewels, beads, or adornments in your hair as a style.
asics sneakers????? 4real?
YES, girl!
you dont know who Legion or Apocalypse is
“- If you flat out refuse to kill the bug that is slowly creeping towards me and plotting my demise because, “it aint that serious” or “That bug aint hurting you”. Get the hell outta my house.”
*daps*
I’ve been killing bugs/spiders and other assorted creepy-crawlers for years, now that you’re here, this is now your job. Act accordingly.
I will have to say having no bass in your voice, is not non-sensical. Having a little bass in your voice is the difference between….well, I won’t finish that thought. But it definitely can faciliate a situation. Feel me.
I’m picking up what you’re putting down…lol
i actually don’t trust Black men with no bass in their voices.
LMAO.When you put it like that, I think that’s the problem I have with no Bass…..I DON’T TRUST YOU (and I think you’re gay).
You must have a hard time watching Terrence Howard movies. I know I do.
You mean slick back….there are so many things wrong with him that I don’t know where to begin.
From the hair, to the no bass, to the eyes (they are slightly creepy).
On another note, he mentioned in an interview that his deal breaker was women who wiped their arse with toilet paper. Only moist wipes are acceptable to him. He stated that he will bring it to their attention, and if the “problem” is not rectified, he will be forced to throw the deuces.
“You mean slick back….there are so many things wrong with him that I don’t know where to begin.”
He’s ridiculous all around…
THANK YOU for clearing up the mystery of “Mr. Baby Wipes”! I have been wondering for the longest what I missed to not get that reference when people use it.
that being said…LMAO, I don’t know if I could respond to a conversation like that without violence
So you won’t date Didier Drogba?
Or any other African Footballer for that matter.
“- If you flat out refuse to kill the bug that is slowly creeping towards me and plotting my demise because, “it aint that serious” or “That bug aint hurting you”. Get the hell outta my house.”
Sistaaaaaa, you been on my miiindddd….
YES! Of course i CAN kill it myself but damn it that what i have you for. I have called my SO from 3 rooms away to kill something. I’ll keep an eye on it until you get there….
3 rooms away, hell! I have called people from 18 miles away to come and rescue me – and they did.
lol. not quite 18 miles but my SO had left my house once and was well on his wa home and there was a huge bug so he came back.
“If you flat out refuse to kill the bug that is slowly creeping towards me and plotting my demise because, “it aint that serious” or “That bug aint hurting you”. Get the hell outta my house.”
on this note…if u have roaches at ure house. i’m out.
#1) Women who cant cook or at least follow a recipe.
#2) Women who drink beer right out of the bottle, be a lady and get a cup/glass.
#3) Women who don’t understand that I will be OWT from time to time.
#4) Women who dont understand that I like to wear Polo one day and then rock house shoes and socks the next.
#5) Women who really think they can out drink me when I am 3 times their size (This is a true story).
#6) If you dont understand how I can be 300lbs and not morbidly obese.
6b) If you dont realize that at 300lbs, I’m still probably in better shape and that is it for now.
How tall are you?
I had no idea you were a big dude Peyso.
*daps*
I know, Pesyo. I think you just got hella cute, dude.
Giggles…
6’1
Gold teeth are a deal breaker for me……Im from Cincy, so they are definitely “in style” here.
Jheri curls are a deal breaker. I will not be following the drip in no way shape or form.
Multiple kids by multiple women – No sir
Extra long fingernails – if your nails are so long, that I question how you wipe your azz, it’s a no go. You will not be touching me with your sh*t catchers.
Ima have to think some more. I know I have more.
“Gold teeth are a deal breaker for me……Im from Cincy, so they are definitely “in style” here.”
They’ve been in style here, since like 1976 or so…
Sh*it catchers? I’m done here for the day!
See that’s an additional problem with Ohio…the fact that jheri curls are still in style.
I refuse to believe that people still wear jheri curls
it is NOT an urban legend, it is very real. Just like I was enlightened on VSB that black squirrels exist, I bet there are even black squirrels with jheri curls that sprinkle glitter…. word.
Dealbreakers:
-has kids (like, more than 2!)
-Unemployed
-smokes weed
-current college athlete
-hates The Five Heartbeats or The Temptations movies-yo a$$ gotta go!
-Homeless (meaning, you live with moms)
-No wheels-every time I wanna go out, I gotta come get you and drop you off? No! Let’s take turns!
Sidenote, TGIF is the bomb! I found a new meal there on my last visit!
Sidenote #2, in high school, my counselor (U of M alumni) would make the band (yes, I was in band) learn all of their fight songs when the big game (against Ohio State) was scheduled. She would also have this joint called “THE GREAT DEBATE!” People from both sides (Michigan and Ohio) would come and debate about who has the better team and who would win! Good ol’ days!
PJ, I still remember where I was when they announced Charles Woodson won the Heisman Award! Damn, seems so long ago!
“-current college athlete”
this athlete persecution has to end!!!!
I admit that I refused to date athletes in College. They were more risky…sad but true
Alright y’all with the schools with good football teams – Can’t you all just get along? Imagine, going to a small private college in Ohio that wins a football game every. four. years. (I’m not even exaggerating.) Tragic, homie. But the national anthem was always the bomb (thanks, conservatory!)
Our women’s rugby team whooped up on Ohio State regularly, though. Go scrum.
On to my list:
– hawk spitters (you know the ones that like to make a theatrical production of bringing it up, swishing it around and leaving a kiddie size pool on the sidewalk/grass/kitchen counter.
– men who cuss because they have no other vocabulary (shout out Nicki S. – I’m with you on this one)
– grown men who sag/braid/grill/anything else that would remind you of Riley off of Boondocks.
– men who don’t watch Boondocks.
– Salesmen. Sorry, but y’all just can’t be trusted- to keep a steady paycheck. That commission ish is for the birds.
– My Space/Facebook rappers. Are you kidding? Keep it movin’.
– Men who call women bytches and then follow up with, “But I mean that in a respectful way.” Chop to the throat for you, homie.
– Men who don’t take care of their kids. Matter of fact, men with more than 2 kids. Ok, if I’m gonna be honest, men with more than 1 kid. Sorry, T.I.
. Matter of fact, men with more than 2 kids. Ok, if I’m gonna be honest, men with more than 1 kid.
You follow this mantra too huh?
Good lookin’ out.
If it’s more than 1 kid, it has to be the same baby momma. No more than 2 kids period.
You and me have a lot in common, T. I don’t have any crumb snatchers myself, so I have to factor in any kids that I would want to have with a dude – and if it starts looking anything like the Broke Brady Bunch I’ve gotta go. These bammas need to work for LawnCare the way they spread seed…
You’re my girl. You completely feel me.
I talked to this kat once who had 5 kids with 2 ex-wives…he didn’t tell me until date #2, which was also the last date…’da hell I look like with 5 step-kids and some of these kids were like half my age??? lmao!!!
OMG – been there!! 2 ex-wives and 5 kids – is that the magic number for seed spreaders? Cuz unless you’re making 6 figures I KNOW some (all) of them kids are not being cared for!
Now you got me laughing loud at my desk…
You gotta laugh to keep from crying…
It’s a cold cold world…lmao
“2 ex-wives and 5 kids – is that the magic number for seed spreaders?”
man, and i thought i had issues. ugh. trying to decide if i want to deal with 2 kids and 2 baby mamas. one thing i can say is that he adores his kids-talks to them everyday, spends time with them, goes up to the school if necessary and isn’t just a paycheck daddy. i see him doing things even my daddy didn’t do but still…
“- Men who call women bytches and then follow up with, “But I mean that in a respectful way.” Chop to the throat for you, homie.”
What happens if I dont say that I meant it in a respectful way?
Don’t think I won’t come after you cuz you big, Peyso.
My nonsensical dealbreakers…
-raggedy technology: walkin around with a Nokia phone from last decade or still using Windows ’95 is so not sexy.
-big ol’ sneakers: Go buy some grown-man shoes, homie.
-pork lovers: Lips that touch swine will neva touch mine! lol…where’s that from? anybody?? We’ll be instant friends if you know.
-anti-holiday: I’m big on celebrations. So if you can’t understand/appreciate my need to observe Earth Day, Hannakuh, and Cinco De Mayo, then kick rocks! It’s a celebration b*tches! (a la Rick James)
“pork lovers: Lips that touch swine will neva touch mine! lol…where’s that from? anybody?? We’ll be instant friends if you know.”
That has to be from Martin. **waves to new friend**
Yaaaay for Kindred!!! *waving back vigorously*
The inability to quote Martin should be another dealbreaker of mine. Super ignorant? Yes. But that dude is sooo funny.
I too am a technology snob, can’t be walking around with one of those bag phones from 1990… not a good look
My other dealbreaker is if I am with you then you must read my blog and at least attend 25% of my spoken word performances….
See, if I don’t know if I would want someone I’m dating to read my blog.
Actually, I do know: I wouldn’t.
This happened to me once, and the guy read like, two years of archives, and would bring up random tidbits of my life in conversation like it was cool. He said I should appreciate the fact that he wanted to know more about me, I said that I saw something like that on Law & Order: SVU. I ended it and shut down my blog completely.
“My other dealbreaker is if I am with you then you must read my blog…”
I have issues with that one. Initially, I liked when dudes read my blog…until we would stop dating and then they read something that I’ve written about whoever has replaced them and they wanna get sad & ish, calling me talkin about their feelings are hurt and I did that on purpose because I knew he would read it…sensitive azz riggans.
So imma have to say…dont read my blog unless I send u a specific entry.
That’s from Martin!
LOL you know whats funny about these lists? Not only are most of them NOT non sensical, but you can tell a lot about the people who make the list by their “dealbreakers” lol.
“Not only are most of them NOT non sensical, but you can tell a lot about the people who make the list by their “dealbreakers” lol.”
yeah. it always amuses me what people list.
Yeah I said the same thing. Insisting that someone be well-read or have a good sense of music, or even my own point about style…are all things that make sense.
At least to normal folks.
I found alot of these “deal breakers” ridiculous. There will be alot of cat-women in this joint in 20 years
“There will be alot of cat-women in this joint in 20 years”
LMAO. I take personal offense to this.
::snicker::
LMAO.
***slowly nodding head in agreement***
I found alot of these “deal breakers” ridiculous.
Examples please.
you know which ones they are. I shouldn’t have to list them.
lol. ur prolly right!
LMAO!! You may b rite. People got a list of 25 dealbreakers and shit talm bout
“OOOOHH I hate ninjas that sleep with one knee bent. And whats with those fools that, you know, breath??? Cant stand them!!”
that breathin all the time is some b.s. tho.
Nah! its the ninjas with skin that I have issues with. oh yeah and the ones with eyes that see.
Being able to HEAR HIM BREATH. There’s something really freaky about that. It makes me think he snores. Snoring isn’t the hotness–even if I lived next to a fire house!
As an aside, I hate hearing anyone breath. Breathing is a silent thing. People think I hate fat people. It’s not true. It just so happens that more fat people breath loud enough for me to hear.
“As an aside, I hate hearing anyone breath. Breathing is a silent thing. People think I hate fat people. It’s not true. It just so happens that more fat people breath loud enough for me to hear.”
this was entertaining. thank you
1. i couldn’t date anyone who takes those emails nigerian scam artists send seriously. and trust, i’ve met ninjas who get genuinely p*ssed at them. i mean, my dad and uncles are just playing, really. basically, if you don’t have a sense of humour – assuming you didn’t already reply to one of these emails and lose $5000, in which case i apologise and no, i can’t get you your money back.
2. anyone who doesn’t like oatmeal. it’s just so good, especially with a little brown sugar on the top.
3. fools who take everything the mainstream media tells them at face value.
4. anyone who can’t appreciate the beautiful game – football (not american). as an african raised on the game, i just cannot do it.
5. any fool who sees my hair and says, “why don’t you get a perm?” – actually, forget undateable, these ni99as get shot with bullets engraved with a black fist.
“i mean, my dad and uncles are just playing, really. basically, if you don’t have a sense of humour – assuming you didn’t already reply to one of these emails and lose $5000, in which case i apologise and no, i can’t get you your money back. ”
I love you Puff.
That was hilarious…
Worrrd to #5.
My top five:
BAD TABLE MANNERS. Bad Table Manners include but are not limited to:
- Chewing with your mouth open / talking with food in your mouth. If what you have to say is that important, please cover your mouth while you say it. Besides the fact that if there’s food in your mouth I probably can’t understand you anyway.
- Motioning with utensils and/or food. I’m not trying to have a slash of spaghetti sauce down my shirt because you were gesturing to emphatically with your fork.
-Eating food that requires utensils with your hands. i.e. steak, eggs, salad, chicken Parmesan…
-Eating off my plate without asking. Um, I just met you, what ARE you doing?
-Licking your utensils. I know that A1 sauce is good, but really??
FLIP FLOPS & SOCKS. Unless this is part of your ninja turtle Halloween costume, it need not leave the house.
UNTRIMMED FINGERNAILS… I’m supposed to be scratching your back, not the other way around.
TALKING OVER ME. I dated a guy who liked to talk over me on the regular. So one day I decided that I was going to keep talking, just to see what would happen. Why were we both talking at the same time for a good 30 seconds. REALLY?!
LACK OF VOCAB… Dudes who over use the phrases “know what I’m sayin”, “you feel me?” or any variation of the aforementioned. And by over use, I mean it shouldn’t become a game for me to count how many times you say, “you smell me?” on a date. which brings us to the last one….
BODY ODOR. no explanation needed.
I’m going to leave out the normal ones like be self motivated, doesn’t like comedic movies, wasn’t gay before, judgmental etc…
At this point in my life, I can’t date a man…
1. that won’t kill the bugs without making me feel stupid. Just be my superman please
2. that has skid marks. DEAL BREAKER
3. that can’t kiss. I need regular kisses and good ones, forever
4. that smokes…it stinks. I will never want to kiss you
5. that gets sloppy drunk on the regular. It makes me less attracted to him.
6. who is a touring or consistently performing musician…done it more than once and it’s a bad look
7. that works at a club (I only trust one)
8. in the military…real passionate but tend to be insane
9. that creates music but it sucks – I will not be able to lie and support you.
10. that only listens to hip hop 24-7
11. that has a non-bass-filled voice
12. that sings falsetto…it’s girly to me
13. that can’t pick out a decent suit, shirt and tie combo
14. that dyes his hair
15. that is too close with his best friends in a suspect way …I’ve seen it and it makes me nervous
16. that was a whore right before dating me and now his life has changed…or has it?
17. that has 50 million condoms around his house. Seriously, all those weren’t waiting for me.
this was quite the list. lol.
experience has been an interesting teacher for you, no?
The world is my oyster.
my experiences and those of my friends (male and female) has taught me a lot…funny thing is, I only posted half of my list due to how long my comment would have been.
“12. that sings falsetto…it’s girly to me”
If he talks with a high voice, then I’m with you on thise one.
Checking in from my sickbed
I will not date a man with crusty feet. I like to play footsies and would prefer not getting cut up.
I cannot date a man who is not open. If you haven’t experienced as much of the world/life as I have, that is okay. But PLEASE believe if you think your hometown is the world, I am out.
Men who don’t have a cute quirk of some kind. Keeps them interesting.
Men who don’t understand my love of music outside of hip hop and r&b. I clean the house to the GooGoo Dolls, Coldplay and RHCP all the time.
Men who don’t appreciate kung fu. WTF is wrong with you? Shaw Bros flicks all day long!
Men who can’t appreciate foreign films outside of kung fu. Half of my DVD’s require subtitles to watch.
I have more but my head is getting fuzzy. Need more drugs.
Feel better soon!!!
thanks girl, i’m trying. the hubby is doing a good job taking care of/putting up with me. i saw that my blackberry posted this before i included my disdain of Cowgirls and Redskins fans
Men who can’t appreciate foreign films outside of kung fu. Half of my DVD’s require subtitles to watch.
i would be SO out on a chick who only had subtitled movies. for one, id think she felt that they made her more culturally aware. it doesnt, it means you dont like watching movies, you like reading. and you lied to me about watchign a movie. i can’t watch a movie i have to read at the same time.
kina Panama-san…
*draws kitana*
shhh…i’m trynna watch the movie.
“i can’t watch a movie i have to read at the same time.”
I would ask him to stand up, give him a stick of maui melon mint orbitz and then tell him to walk…once he has perfected that then he could sit back down and watch the movie… see not that difficult
IH, you just made my sick day
thankyamuch
you know I do what I can. If all I can do today is make one person smile well then I feel accomplished.
If You Don’t Know Me By Now
I can’t believe I missed this.
I might even log in a midnight, wait–who am I foolin’, I like to sleep way too much…lol
Great freakin’ song!
Good job P-Money.
Oh yeah, I’m off tomorrow, so I can’t wait for the foolishness.
yeah, if you ain’t realized, the majority of my titles are music influenced.
Yeah…I’m still on the mend from the sinus infection…It’s all becoming clear…
i do think you passed it on to me b/c i have a damned sinus infection right now. and its whipping my arse.
Okay you’re the 2nd person in as many days to tell me I gave them my illness. lol
Poppycock!!!
Checking in from my sickbed
I will not date a man with crusty feet. I like to play footsies and would prefer not getting cut up.
I cannot date a man who is not open. If you haven’t experienced as much of the world/life as I have, that is okay. But PLEASE believe if you think your hometown is the world, I am out.
Men who don’t have a cute quirk of some kind. Keeps them interesting.
Men who don’t understand my love of music outside of hip hop and r&b. I clean the house to the GooGoo Dolls, Coldplay and RHCP all the time.
Men who don’t appreciate kung fu. WTF is wrong with you? Shaw Bros flicks all day long!
Men who can’t appreciate foreign films outside of kung fu. Half of my DVD’s require subtitles to watch
Die hard Cowboys or Redskins fans. I tolerate Giants fans. Everone else, I will just talk sh*t while we watch the game. Which can lead to fun later on.
I have more but my head is getting fuzzy. Need more drugs.
get better and sh*t
Aight, ridiculous deal-breakers coming right up (and all of these have actually happened to me):
* Has a weird laugh. Like, a laugh so odd that it stopped me from laughing at what was originally funny.
* Gives me an unsolicited nickname. Don’t. Just don’t.
* Volunteers to help me “trim the hedges”. Ew, ew, ew.
* Has long fingernails or short fingers.
* Sweats excessively for no apparent reason. Two words: Crack rock.
I might come back with more, but those are the ones that offend me the most.
“Gives me an unsolicited nickname. Don’t. Just don’t.”
we could never date, because i usually give women nicknames within 5 minutes of meeting them
I give EVERYONE nicknames. And from then on out, that is how I will refer to you. Sometimes to your face, sometimes not.
I think it stems from the terrible nicknames I had as a child: Big Bird, Lite Brite, etc. And don’t even get me started on the many nicknames bestowed upon me by Luvvie & Co…..
hehe “Big Bird” made me chortle.
And yes, I have many nicknames for you. I think the last time I called you by ur REAL name, we were in high school and we just met.
*Singing* Memories, from the corners of my MIIINNDDD
hehe “big bird” made me chortle. And yes, you have many nicknames from me. I think the last time I called you your REAL name, we were in high school and we had just met.
*Singing* Memories, from the corners of my MMIIINNNDDDD
you didn’t give me a nickname when i met you. you just called me by my VSB name lol… not.the.same.
you have one. two, actually
i’ll wait til the next dinner at Ivy’s for you to disclose them. thank you.
“* Has a weird laugh. Like, a laugh so odd that it stopped me from laughing at what was originally funny.”
LMAO…so true
eh, i guess i’ll add some of my own
bad tippers. unless the waitress squirts in my tea, they get at least 20 percent from me. (sidenote: i have a few friends who bartend/wait on the weekends, and they all say without fail, that black women are generally the worst tippers. the best: gay white men, lol)
women who claim to be open-minded and non-elitist one breath, but then thumb their nose at anyone with a different political ideology or music/shopping habits. you can’t have it both ways.
non-athletic women. i’m not saying that you hafta be sonya richards or anything, but if walking up the stairs to my apartment gets you out of breath, then just walk your ass back downstairs.
thundergoat-ish women. this basically describes chicks that are always just TOO much. too much makeup, too much hair…basically if a drag queen could effectively emulate you, you suck.
women who refuse to date former and current athletes, and women who ONLY date ormer and current athletes
I dont understand people who dont/cant tip. There is no bigger a hole.
If you can’t tip, you really need to keep your arse at the house…cheap azz mf’er.
some people dont realize they cant tip
that tipping analysis is absolutely correct, I worked at TGIF’s in college and I think the black women tipped bad bc I was fly & was hating that their server was flyer than them, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
“black women are generally the worst tippers”
WHAT? This makes me sad. I always tip 20%.
as a bar manager and bartender, i can confirm this. first hand. gay dudes do tip well…
I think that black women WANT to tip well. We start out with 20% in mind and start deducting a dollar off the tip for anything we perceive as bad service.
“We start out with 20% in mind and start deducting a dollar off the tip for anything we perceive as bad service.”
i think we may start out with NOTHING in mind and look for an easy out that only covers the meal + tax. I think you miss your blessings messin with people’s livlihood like that. Most service people DEPEND on tips to make a living.
before I call bogus on this what is your deduction system?
I still think its bogus to have a deduction system to begin with. If it isnt just disastrous you should tip at least 20. Everything that happens isnt the fault of the waitstaff. You have to put yourself in their shoes.
I don’t do it. I tip 20 percent standard.
But I have several friends who do. Like, when we are tallying the bill, they’ll say ‘she took too long with my soup. I am gonna take off for that’
People like that can bring down your property value.
lol i’m so mad at that. i tip well as a motherfugger – especially when i make the poor chinese delivery guy come through in the snow and whatnot with my fried rice and scallion pancakes…
i haven’t really noticed that black women tip less well than anyone else – then again, i’m in college. i’ll be lucky to find someone else who even tips.
See…I tip well too because I feel bad after someone has had to come out in the wind/rain/blazin’ heat and climb a jillion stairs to get to my place.
…
ive been known to go to 50…my mama waited tables back in the day before i was born. most service jobs are thankless tasks. and that whole demerit-olympic service system is just an excuse to be cheap..stay yo @zz at home.
most waiters/waitress that i know love to see me comin..i hope thats a myth about black women though. Thats not cute. karmically either. i think you pay for that on the back end.
I am sad the service industry has such a bad opinion of the sistas.
We must do better.
If you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out.
It also irritates me when folks drop a dollar (a dollar!) on the bar when they buy 3 drinks.
i agree.
bad tippers. <- Hated em!
I refuse to tip less than 20% (friends that have worked in bar settings, confirm that black people tend to be horrible tippers). I tip on carry out orders.
“thundergoat-ish women”
BWHAHAHAHA. I will definitely try to incorporate that word in my vocabulary…..starting right now.
“women who claim to be open-minded and non-elitist one breath, but then thumb their nose at anyone with a different political ideology or music/shopping habits. you can’t have it both ways”
yeah don’t just hate those paradoxical type judgemental people..they really make me sick. I do reiki on all their noes thumbin @zzes.
Bad tippers suck.
Ok something ain’t adding up. We all know when we go out with a random group of black people theres a good percentage (40-60) who are horrendous tippers. Like a meal cost $40 they’ll leave $45 and roll out type tippers. Yet everyone replying is a great tipper? Something literally ain’t adding up.
lol i am a good tipper.
my quirky dealbreakers:
~doesn’t walk on the outside when we’re walking down the street
~doesn’t say “bless you” when i sneeze
~likes TGIFriday’s or Applebee’s (both places i hate)
~talks smack about any of my football teams–Trojans, Chargers, Bucs–to my face on game days (you can talk behind my back and on non-game days all you like)
~drinks kool-aid (family reunions and other sporadic occassions OK)
~can’t name every character and trademark personality trait on The Office
~shows indifference when i excitedly tell my favorite corny knock-knock and pink elephant jokes (you should at least chuckle in amusement and think its cute, dammit!)
“drinks kool-aid”
yeah thats bogus
Yeah it is…In fact there is something wrong with a person who can’t get down with a person who drinks Kool Aid! …The disliker is clearly an alien.
i have been confused for an illegal “alien”. so i’ll take that.
yeah, that’s that bullsh*t
she went to Spelman though. LOL. that’s get back for the Morehouse football team joke!
“she went to Spelman though. LOL. that’s get back for the Morehouse football team joke!”
…and she’s had my splendid kool-aid before. hmph! the nerve!!
actually you didn’t even offer me anything to drink. i had to ASK you for water that one time i was at your place. i wouldn’t have tried to kool-aid anyway.
LOL! Gem, you aren’t missing out on not having the Champs project Koolaid, trust me…
I’m sure that water was great with the NEW filter that was just put in it though.
and you know i was slightly salty he didn’t have bottled water. but praise JC for the new filter!
we’ve learned more about the contents of The Champs apartment from y’all…from rugs to filters…
part of liking football is telling people their team sucks to their faces. If you cant take it you shouldnt be around any guy watching football or any sport for that matter. There is no crying in sports unless the bone is sticking out of your leg.
In fact I will say right now that the Giants are sh!t and Eli takes it up the a$$ from Strahan and Tiki. My girl likes the Giants and I know she will see this.
Go Patriots!!!!!!
i hate this team.
Ivy, normally my extreme hate for the Cowsh*ts allows me to be tolerant of your Pats lovin self. but all bets are off this Sun!!
Gem you know I luv you like a play prima but GO PATS!
lmao @ play prima. luhhh you too but will pretend to not know you this weekend.
“part of liking football is telling people their team sucks to their faces.”
I totally agree. I have no allegiance to any football team and I like to piss people off by rooting for the other team…one of my favorite pass time. LOL
“There is no crying in sports unless the bone is sticking out of your leg.”
That’s harsh
Youre right. Livingston-like injuries can cry too. You definitely cant cry cause I mocked your team. Then I will be forced to mock you in general.
“I have no allegiance to any football team and I like to piss people off by rooting for the other team…one of my favorite pass time.”
a non-favorite team having spectator would likely be unauthorized to be in my presence during a fball game and therefore wouldn’t have any opportunity to spew unwarranted hate. the way i see it, not having any team/coach/player allegiance invalidates the hate becuz there’s no sincerity or passion behind it. and it’s just plain talking at that point. so why would these people be talking at all? the only speech out of their mouths should be “do you need a fresh drink?” or “can i get you some more chips and dip?”
thats funny
That is where you are wrong. Even though I am not a fan of a team, I am a passionate fan of the sport. I cannot just sit through a game and stay quiet…I need to cheer. I never know which team to cheer for, so to makes things interesting I root for the other team, and you would swear I was rooting for them my whole life.
If i’m watching it by myself, I’ll root for the underdog or the team with a black quarterback or head coach.
With that said, you can get your own chips and dip.
“With that said, you can get your own chips and dip.”
that’s not what you said when i was over the last time–you kept the drinks and food comin LOL
I said that before I figured out it was you talking smack. Never again!!
p.s. since the “roommate” is outta town, i’m crashing your place this weekend. have my drink, chips and dip ready when i get there chick!
I see right now that we gonna have to fight. My Chips and dip and especially my ‘ice tea’ that you love so much, are all off limits.
But…if you act right and have good netflix movies then maybe I’ll let you come over.
BTW, you seriously need to consider changing your name to salt of the earth…and don’t think that if you ever come to my house, you will be eating any of MY Tostitos chips and dip
hey, if being “the salt of the earth” was good enough for JC to talk about on the Mount, then it’s alright with me! thank ya Lawd! *church hand wave*
Actually thats gay. You might as well be from Europe or something. How you don’t like a team, but you got shit to say about everyone elses?
Crap how didn’t the cursing police catch that one?
Close…Jamaic which means I grew up watching football, not soccer, but football. And over the years, I’ve learned to love american football. I can’t say the same about baseball. And how is not having a team gay?
I never said anything talking shit; I just root for the opposing team.
Typo, Jamaica.
that type of cat gets beat up at home
what’s with the violence?
hmmm sounds like you’re taking this quite personal–it’s MY opinion. and who said anything about crying?!? this isn’t about whining or bruised feelings. i’m a big girl and i hold my own with the trash talk. i’m not lookin for a pat on the back and a cookie. but i like to watch MY teams play either in peace and quiet (with the exceptions of my own yelling/screaming at the tv), with other “fans”, or with guys i’m not dating and don’t care if they’re haters. my preference. for any one who can’t get with that, not my problem.
I’m a hater. Anything that detracts from hating in any capacity I take as an attack against my lack of character.
great reason. and i respect that.
who is your team so I can tell you how much they suck?
can i hate on you for not reading?? scroll up to my original post. they’re all there.
read? you want me to read?
FLAG ON THE PLAY:
how do you cheer for 2 football teams? thats against the rules
i’m from SD. i grew up on the Shawgers (as my nephews pronounce it). i’ll always have love for the hometeam… i like TB cuz i have no other reason to like them besides them as a team, their players, coaches, etc. this goes back some years when Dungy was coaching. tho now that TD and many of my fav players are gone, i have less of a reason to be attached.
LMAO! Get it Gem! I cosign on the Koolaid drinking and the not walking on the outside when walking down the sidewalk. I need to add to the list a bit…
- when you don’t know that neuroscience means, YES YOU GOT IT… studying the brain! Hence the term/prefix NEURO.
- drooling on my pillow (GROSS!)
- men with dirty bathrooms
- not saying hello when we make eye contact as you pass
The list goes on and on but here are a few.
HOLLA Gem! I’ll see you at dinner and remember to bring the Koolaid… or not! LOL!
“- drooling on my pillow (GROSS!)”
extremely!!
“- men with dirty bathrooms”
goes without saying…
“- not saying hello when we make eye contact as you pass”
can you say “mental b*tch slap”?? lol
“I’ll see you at dinner and remember to bring the Koolaid… or not! LOL!”
lmao is organic sparkling lemonade an acceptable substitute??
Yeah the Organic sparkling lemonade is fine b/c we ALREADY know who is going to show up with the Koolaid… the red kind. LMAO!
~doesn’t walk on the outside when we’re walking down the street
My daddy told me years ago to NEVER deal w/a man who doesn’t know to do this.
The nerd in me says: If you don’t own a Mac, and you are opposed to getting a mac, you are not for me, brotha. People who don’t own macs, and then want to sit and have the PC vs Mac debate with me have proven to be suspect. I honestly can’t have a PC household, particularly for the kids. They need freedom.
“The nerd in me says…”
we dont care about what the guy you’re sleeping with thinks, liz. just tell us about you
LOL. Shut up Champ. i KNEW you’d have some smart sh*t to say!
Wants to hug Liz.
I have a PC and a Mac. I would save the Mac in a fire.
THAT’S RIGHT!!
I’m half and half. I use a PC at home, Mac at work. I c the plusses in both. Wont engage in heated debate of which is better.
Top ten nonsensical deal breakers for me are:
1) Jamaicans- I know it’s weird swearing off an entire Island, especially when both of my brothers still live there (I wouldn’t even date them if I wasn’t their sister). The only time I dated a Jamaican was when I lived there…nuff said.
2) Republicans
3) Feel the need to impress me because they are an athlete, got a car, money, hot shot lawyer, blah blah blah…I could care less who you are or what you got (But don’t get it twisted, I want you to have your own car and some money, but bragging is only going to turn me off)
4) Stank breath
5) Do not like Dragon Ballz (or cartoons for that matter) and have no love for Spongebob
6) Do not appreciate reggae & dancehall music for all its glory
7) Cannot make me laugh or smile (BTW, it’s very hard to not make me laugh)
9) Absolute deal breaker if you wear hoop earrings (two and you have no chance in hell even if you were the last man alive)…studs only (preferably one)
10) Do not wear their pants at the waist (one of the few things Jamaicans get right, except it’s too tight)
11) Have absolutely no rhythm
OK, so I can’t count…11 top ten deal breaker
9) Absolute deal breaker if you wear hoop earrings (two and you have no chance in hell even if you were the last man alive)…studs only (preferably one)
guys still do this?
Unfortunately, yes
I like the earrings…lol
5) Do not like Dragon Ballz (or cartoons for that matter) and have no love for Spongebob
i stopped at Dragon Ballz like, WTF are dragon ballz? oh you mean’t Dragon Ball Z! lol. three words. LOL. i like spongebob myself…they tackle real issues that are pertinent to Americans on that show.
and don’t feel bad for swearing off Jamaica…i’ve done the same myself.
You reminded of another deal breaker – nitpickers…lol. But on the real, I should’ve spelled it right, especially since it’s a deal breaker
“and don’t feel bad for swearing off Jamaica…i’ve done the same myself.”
I swore off Jamaicans not Jamaica (right back at yah)…lol. Some of those Jamaican girls are crazy…you probably went too deep into Brooklyn
naw, actually mine was from Stamford, CT. home of the non-NY Jamaicans.
What kind of crockery is this?
- don’t like Jamaicans
- must appreciate dancehall
damn Yankees. Go back to your Beenie Man and Sean Paul.
i always find that Jamaican women are the ones who don’t like Jamaican dudes. that’s an “island” struggle yall need to work out
**DEAL BREAKERS**
-You can’t spell
-You’re a Celtics fan (Seriously I don’t even wear that shade of green because of the depth of my despise for the Boston Celtics)
-Cigarette smoker
-You’re sexually attracted to other men
-You give bad head…scratch that…If your sex is bad in general
-You have no ambition…I mean come on if Martin Luther King had a dream yo’ a** need to at least have a plan.
-You have a criminal record that includes any sex or hate crime
-You’re an atheist.
-Too materialistic
- No sense of humor
“You have a criminal record that includes any sex or hate crime”
so murder is cool?
Depends on the circumstances.
jk.
No you not. lol
Yes…depending on the circumstances
every so often u need to take someone out
::chuckle::
Let’s Go Celtics!!!! I’ve got my green on today.
*high five to Ivy* GO CELTICS!!
I have a random pet peeve about the color green… completely off the subject but does anybody else HATE it when black people celebrate St. Patrick’s day… and wear shamrock earrings and ish? It royally pisses me off and my co-workers are alway like why aren’t u going to the parade… Do I look Irish to you?? sorry a little rant…
I stated once before in another post my aversion to man-pink, it just really bothers me, I don’t care what shade, it makes me crazy.
“if Martin Luther King had a dream yo’ a** need to at least have a plan”
I like this for a Tshirt idea
LOL…yeah I suppose that would be a nice shirt.
Hmmmm… i had to really take some time and think about all the scrubs i’ve dated ever (several) and come up with most hated list – here goes:
- Republican
- So- called “Conscious” and won’t vote in this election because he believes it’s a sham anyway I think this is just laziness with a doctrine wrapped around it. (voting isn’t hard what if ur wrong)
- Close-minded
- Has a severe inferiority complex
- Has ever been locked up for an extended period of time (i can’t fucc with this)
- Doesn’t take care of his kids
- Doesn’t recognize the importance of taking care of his kids
- Doen’t have his own place
-Is intimidated by me
-Is a religious zealot (not just Christian zealots but any zealots: Muslim, 5%, ne of them)
-sends pornographic text messages when u just met me
-Does not drink (we can’t kick it)
-Won’t dance with me (what r u here for to watch me dance with someone else?)
-A liar
-Has any problems with natural hair
-Only listens to hip hop and is over 25
-An atheist (get ur mind right)
-wears grillz
-lazy
- revels in ignorance
-has absolutely no hood affliations (we’re from two different planets)
- doesn’t respect women
- isn’t gainfully employed
Oooohhh cosign on the wearin’ grills…That is coonin at its finest.
“sends pornographic text messages when you just met me”
serious co-sign.
I swear I can’t stand that!
PBG looks @ phone @ quizzical n’ shyt: “N!99@, you don’t know ME!”
I would like to amend this statement by adding
“sends UNSOLICITED pornographic text messages when you just met me”
ok carry on
what are hood affiliations?
Well, to me this means from the hood, grew up in hood culture, has a cousin he used to visit a lot who grew up in the hood or something. I could not be in a relationship long term with someone who had no hood sympathies. I just couldn’t because I’m from the hood and need someone who can relate.
I didn’t grow up in the hood or have cousins that 2 visit in the hood… well but anyway, I’m the dude that would be walking through DC late at night, have someone put a knife to my neck, take my wallet, open it, then say “oh shit fam didn’t realize it was you. Tell your momma I said hello and my sister says thanks for the cookies the other day”
U have experienece with hood culture. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong… i’m saying I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t relate to this part of me. It’s not the end all be all to me… but there are things that i can revert to when necessary that some people who have never dealt in that arena just can’t relate to… that’s all.
that happened to you too? cept with me it was a aluminum bat and I was in Norfolk
I miss home
lol, ah baseball bats, reminds me of the time in 5th grade, some kids instigated a fight between me and their middle school friend. So I had dude coming up to my elementary school with a bat while I’m trying to get my little sisters home.
One of the few fights I skipped out on. . .
what part of pgh you from??
i live in east lib. right off of negley.
i was expectin you to say wilkinsburg or something. e lib ain’t that bad.
lol… that’s where i live not where I’m from…
as a youngn’ I’ve lived in every part of pgh there is… east hills, mt.vernon street in homewood, francis street on the hill, ward and frazier street in oakland… mill street in Wilkinsburg… i lived on sacremento street on the west end for a year, hmmmm… i went to gladstone middle school (if u know anyting about pgh u know about this…)
my momma was a rolling stone.
Overly ghetto/”obnoxious wit it” women . . . true story
Riding on the 3 train
Girl – (loud enough for everyone to hear) Look at that lame’s bum @ss sneakers (forgot what type but they were pretty bad) . . .
Bum @ss sneaker wearer – what the phuck did you say to me b!tch?
Girl – You gonna let him talk to me like that?
Me – Absolutely
Sometimes its just good to STFU
Overly ghetto/”obnoxious wit it” women . . . true story
Riding on the 3 train
Girl – (loud enough for everyone to hear) Look at that lame’s bum @ss sneakers (forgot what type but they were pretty bad) . . .
Bum @ss sneaker wearer – what the phuck did you say to me b!tch?
Girl – You gonna let him talk to me like that?
Me – Absolutely
this is the best thing i’ve read all day
you handled that perfectly. i refuse to step into a situation that is completely your own fault.
I can’t date a guy who:
-Can’t spell simple words
-Writes entire paragraphs without using one punctuation mark
-Likes Clemson football team
-Loves Soulja boy’s music
-Wears socks with sandals in public and thinks it’s okay
-Has and wears a grill
-Is not into music
i have a friend who doesnt use punctuation
sentence
or
paragraph structure when typing emails
it drive us all
insane
brilliant
thank you.
“I can’t date a guy who:
-Can’t spell simple words”
This is me 100%. I’ll admit english and grammar has never been my thing, but you might already know that just by this ish I share on this site. Now math, that’s a different story
Yes, TypoCop and an illiterate fellow make not a compatible pair. Get your spelling and syntax game right before stepping to me.
“-Can’t spell simple words
-Writes entire paragraphs without using one punctuation mark”
especially when I have already corrected your ish and sent it back to you corrected to prove my point
Oh. a few more – -
-ur flesh is squishier than mine…. i’m the soft one on this team
- can’t kiss (EWWWW!)
-has a superiority complex (hate dudes that think they’re smarter than me… not saying it’s impossible but be humble about it)
-won’t lick the ginger snap (i find this to be suspect – real men eat cooch)
“i’m the soft one on this team”
lol…this would be a perfect t-shirt for tyler perry
I want to hug you for this, but I won’t.
ur silly.
“won’t lick the ginger snap”
This is why I don’t date Jamaican men.
“This is why I don’t date Jamaican men.”
for real LOL…
this is good to know.
Real good to know.
soo true
Yeah Jamos lose hella points for that.
was is das?
they still make those? a whole d@mn ISLAND of ‘em?
uh yeah…. NO.
O (VerySmart) Brotha (s), where art thou?
You know, in addition to registering people to vote, we should all recruit more readers to VSB. VSB needs more people. And those people should be men.
There’s no balance.
There was a very lengthy commentary about make-up today and I, for one, was deeply disturbed. I think (West Indian) Archie is a Jughead for even having a preference other than “doesn’t make you look like a whore” and he should be sent to the corner post haste for inciting such rabble-rousing amongst the wenches.
That is all.
As you were.
This comment is so funny my eyes are watering. Thank you, Deviant. Thank you.
LMAO. for many different reasons
“You know, in addition to registering people to vote, we should all recruit more readers to VSB. VSB needs more people. And those people should be men.
There’s no balance.”
this is true. ive had conversatons with people about the fact that we dont to have nearly as many male commentators than female. maybe we need liz to flash her puppies once a month or something. i dont know
I agree! We need more men! Balance is great! Men is you are reading this…. PLEASE comment!
there needs to be the random puppy show every so often just to spice things up
lol…
I just cackled LOUD and my voice reverberated in the office. Deviant, you have made my life.
Thank You
I saw a comment on here about women not wanting men with children . . .how do the fellas feel about dating a female with children when you have none?
For some reason, lately I have been dealing with a lot of women with children who are around my age (26) some younger. I feel if I have managed to be child free through my days of whoring about town (jk. . .maybe) then i would want the woman that I end up being serious with to have done the same . . . if I’m just frequenting your abode for the stick and move, thats fine, ill buy a happy meal. . .but if being serious. . . I dont know. . .any thoughts???
I have kids… and do date (more like talk to) other men when me and my bd are on the outs… I think it’s definitely a personal preference and depends on what u are looking for in a relationship and how much you love that woman. Some men are willing to sacrifice some of their expectations to date a woman with kids because they really love her… but in truth (the way I see it) People who have children have issues that single people do not and it would be really hard to manage. I’ve never tried to have a serious relationship with a man outside of my bd so i can’t comment from personal experience but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to date a woman with children.
Although I have none, having kids is fine, but if I ask whether or not the baby’s father(s) paying child support, she bet’ not be gettin’ all uptight! I won’t ask how much
Thanks A LOT for making me laugh while my boss was passing by and asking me what’s so funny…You tryna get me in trouble.
I’m just happy to find a non-political blog that my company does not block. I’ve only been on this site for two days and I can already this is a bad relationship.
I’m hitting the road Jack and I won’t come back no more…sike
you’re lame and you should bounce. *waving* buh-bye
“There’s no balance.”
i know for a fact that quite a few men read VSB..but they lurk. that is the bigger issue.
Often times there isnt alot for a guy to chime in on. Alot of girl talk. Guys dont sit around talking about relationships all day. We talk about pu$$y and football.
well make it do what it do…im sure there some type of pu$$y in football. Im sure lots of pu$$y have inspired touchdowns, halfdowns, full downs, points and strikes and goalie’s, passes, half passes, quarterpasses and whatevers.
“touchdowns, halfdowns, full downs, points and strikes and goalie’s, passes, half passes, quarterpasses and whatevers”
this made me giggle
this saddens me
at least she’s honest. my bff used to swear up and down to ppl she knew all there was to know about fball. this coming from the same girl who thought a first down referred to the first person tackled to the ground. *smh* needless to say she is never invited to my place on a game day.
“wenches.”
I’ma let you make it on that one playboy…lmao
But a man started that comment let us not forget!
The word “wenches” isn’t used nearly enough nowadays.
I still use it…I pronounce it wanch.
Yes, I’m country…lol
I love that country pronunciation. Puts emphasis and connotation right where it should be!
I’m also a fan of the word “wench”
More…
-assumes that because i have kids (2) and am not married b) that i’m looking for captain save a ho (ni99a please save urself)
-is cheap (can’t stand it)
-is technologically illiterate
-thinks being a thug is cool and is over 18
-is an adult and doesn’t have a car (it doesn’t have to be a benz but dayum how can u be a grown man and have no transportation???)
-can’t appreciate my love for the Steelers (i am not a sports fan at all ((i can watch tennis or soccer but just have better things to do) and the only time i will ever watch football and find it remotely entertaining is when the Steelers are playing))
- smokes blunts and is an adult — im sorry… an occassional jay i can get with and maybe even puff (maybe) but if ur an adult and smoke blunts regularly (meaning there’s no celebrating anything or having some special personal time) then ur an addict and dating u is pointless…
-has no goals or plans for the future NONE! Not even for a vacation or something… just none… this is sad
-isn’t handy sorry we both can’t not know how to fix ish
-Won’t even try something. Really?
nothing wrong with smokin a blunt if you handling your buisness otherwise.
ummmm… this hasn’t been my experience. Kissing someone after blunt smoking is disgusting. But I believe u…
btw… i like ur blog
thanks you. Blunts helped with that too.
also I gargle before I slob down my womens.
LMAO. im speechless.
-assumes that because i have kids (2) and am not married b) that i’m looking for captain save a ho (ni99a please save urself)
Major co-signage and glitter.
PBG says “I got this, man!!
thanx for the glitter
Sprinkle me (e-40 reference)
My List:
**Disrespectful to women. I once cut a date short when he referred to our waitress as a b*tch.
**Overly homophobic dudes. The ones who make it a point to call dudes “f*gs” just to prove that they don’t like them. I heart the gays. I’m a Hag (and truly appreciate my fierce shoe game), so please don’t disrespeck em like that.
**Dudes who think STDs are an urban legend, and don’t take rapping it up seriously (aka if you have 5 baby mamas You are CLEARLY putting ur d*ck in the fire. YES, it burn).
Ooo this is all I got time to type now. I will be back with the rest.
P.S. Dang!! I forgot to take my Gummy Flintstone Vitamins today! I hope I don’t fall asleep at my desk.
lol @ Dudes who think STD’s are urban legends
1. Trivializing my sneaker habit. The bills get paid complete with savings and investments. Chill.
2. No ambition.
3. Over assertion.
read it and weep, haters
Steelers fans are unquestionably best in the NFL
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/ross_tucker/10/08/tucks.takes/index.html
i think we (you, Ivy, me) should go to a game (this season or next, ya know we’ll be around for awhile). even tho Ivy is an extreme hater and [unfortunately] a Pats fan, we’d have an amusing time. and who doesn’t like going to Heinz field??
Ahhhh… more Pittsburghers (by association if ur not from here) in the house. Hi!
and you can come too
hi pixburgher *waving*
Awww. Thanx
if any of my new VSB friends are looking for something to do in the burgh 2nite i just got an eblast of some interesting looking activities… I’ll post it on my blog and u can check it out.
http://www.museacd.blogspot.com
ummmm… 4got… can’t get on my blog cuz i’m @ work… so i’ll post when i get home if ne of u are interested cuz i know the biggest complaint about our fair city is the lack of things to do…
good looks. btw, how did you find the site? asking because i assume all fellow pittsburghers are internet-less.
That was a low blow, very smart brotha! We are only 5 years behind everybody else…
i found it on Bossip, believe it or not… and have shared the link with all of my peoples – all pgh natives living in other cities
a “hallelujah” to your pgh people all living in other cities. sometimes you need to just get out this place (read: cave for Champie)
ur not lying about that Gem… I hear you. Eh… i haven’t been persuaded to leave yet though. My family is here so this is where I’m at. I’m fortunate tho — i travel at least twice a year at points so i get some “light” – r u a student?
cute uniforms..yellow is whats hot for fall.
thanx 4 the link!!
Oh hellz yes!
::pats self on back::
yeah, saw that…
that whole point system was completely bogus
Corn rows
Decorated teeth
DIY tattoos
Men who put their finger in their ear and grunt to ‘itch’ their throat
Men who think it’s ok to swear constantly
Men who text and email chain mail
Men who believe in good luck chain mail
Men who use sparkly and rainbow colored text in their instant messages
Men who don’t own a computer
Men who spit, and hold their nostril closed to blow snot into the street (or anywhere)
Men who are rude to customer service people for no reason (wait staff, cashiers, ordering take out)
Men who talk too much to customer service people and strangers
Men who think anything I do is ‘white’
Men who still have an active Black Planet profile
Men who don’t understand sarcasm
Men who want praise for everything he does, like hold down a full time job, breathe
Not dating anyone who roots for dook university (aka Duke) or went there for undergrad. He’d have to be extremely hot and special for me to make that exception. Grad school at dook is okay because nobody really has any allegiance to their grad school. I know I don’t.
Republicans. Can’t do it.
Limited music knowledge. Nope.
Homophobes. Nothing doing.
I can’t stand stuck up females.
A chick that’s “too good” for Fast Food, Bootleg Movies and Music, Chinese store chicken Wings, Hood bars, BBQ’s (I’m the type that will cook out all year long), to down to jump in a fight with her man
Yes I love my Hoodrats, but on the flip side if you wear fake Jordans or rock designer Hand bags (no I can’t tell if you bag is fake, but don’t let me catch you buying one). . .then Houston we have a problem.
If you have to make noises while you chew gum
If your “always talkin out your neck, makin your fingers snap” then kick rocks
Loud for no reason (see IVR’s comments about his train ride)
If you wear Jordans and your child(ren) have on payless
If your rocking the new Gucci bag and your lights is turned off
If you presiously dated a big time Drug dealer/ Rapper/Actor/Basketball, Football, Hockey, Baseball player then keep it moving
exactly…. hood affiliations
“If you have to make noises while you chew gum”
admittedly this is one of my bad habits. i will chew the he!! out of some sugarless gum. my gum smackin and poppin has led to many near attempted-murders by my mother.
Damn, over 500 comments. I knew i shoulda checked over here last night.
Deal breakers:
I really dont like dudes who go to bed early. I’m a night owl so you need to stay yo azz up until I go to sleep.
Vegetarians or those who are allergic to seafood. I love love love seafood but my ex was so allergic that if I had shrimp on my salad and then kissed him…he’d die. That’s sh@ it hella wack.
And I’d like to cook my man a steak every now and then…after he serves me a hot platter of peen.
A man who is hella fine, gets the side eye from me. I cant stand a fine azz man. lol I like the extra regular looking azz riggans because “fine as hell” usually means Klhoe, Shanteeka, and Becky are eying my man, and I’m tired of stabbin’ b@tches in the back of the head to prove my love.
If he doesn’t recognize the awesomeness of “The Five Heartbeats” and if he roots for the 49ers, he will never be more than “that dude who lets me sit on his face”. Sorry, but it’s true.
Oh and if I’m the first Black girl he’s ever dated: i’m so not interested in being the representative for Black women. I’ll end up making a whole demographic look bad since I tend to curse folks out for fun and only give head in case of emergencies.
“I really dont like dudes who go to bed early. I’m a night owl so you need to stay yo azz up until I go to sleep.”
I’m with you on this one. Quit being a party pooper. On the flip side, when I do go to sleep, it would be great if you would turn in too. If I want to go to sleep alone all the time, I could just sleep at my own house.
Oh and if I’m the first Black girl he’s ever dated: i’m so not interested in being the representative for Black women. I’ll end up making a whole demographic look bad since I tend to curse folks out for fun and only give head in case of emergencies.
this is so real.
“I’ll end up making a whole demographic look bad since I tend to … only give head in case of emergencies.”
This is just wrong. I’m about to re-start up the equal rights in the bedroom movement. I love giving head as much as I love to be on the receiving end, but if females plan on “stepping up to the mic’ only for emergencies, birthdays, anniversaries, and make-up sex then “licking the ginger snap” should only be done on said occasions. All in favor say I . . .
‘I’.
Women that do the contrary to this only contribute to the reason why women aren’t taken seriously in society.
in my own defense, all I have to say is every man takes me Seriously!
or my name isn’t Thump Hummer Palin
I’m going to laugh every time you post your Palin name, IH!! LMAO!!
for me, i was referring to the dating outside of the race part… not the head part…
I am equal opportunity about it. giving and receiving.
I’m trying to work on giving head more freely…
wait let me stop lying…no I’m not.
And I dont mind if he doesn’t go down for a taste either…wait, let me stop lying…yes I do.
And this is why, I dont need to be representing Black women.
LMAO @ you Suga. U just said you dont like men that like to get sleep and men that are fine. You want you an ol’ sleep-deprived, quasi modo looking mofo huh??
LMAO i think i just pissed off a lot of people in my office for laughing so loud
“LMAO @ you Suga. U just said you dont like men that like to get sleep and men that are fine. You want you an ol’ sleep-deprived, quasi modo looking mofo huh??”
ROTFLMFAO!!
lmao
Luvvie, no ugmos or gila monsters. Just regla joe smcho’s who sleep late on the weekends.
“I’ll end up making a whole demographic look bad since I tend to curse folks out for fun and only give head in case of emergencies.”
LOL….what contitutes an emergency?
EMERGENCY= your pants caught fire
I thought that the emergency plan for pants catching on fire is “stop, drop and roll”. This is my first time hearing about “stop, drop and give head” LOL
Suga : “hot platter of peen”
PBG: *falls the fluck out laughing*
Hey Panama, I will rep UM for you (Ph.D., 1993) if graduate studies count. And I hate OSU too, even though I grew up in Columbus.
But I have heard it referred to as THE University of Michigan in the past. So we are arrogant too, sometimes.
Deal breakers unique to me -
-Accept that I watch/attend/work the track of any and all forms of Motorsports
-I WILL be watching UM football whenever it is on. Just vaccum around me
-I hate salad; always have, always will
-I will try any type/genre of food and you gotta be there with me and try it at least once
-I will shower multiple times a day in the summer. Just deal with it and plan around it. I hate feeling sticky/smoky after cooking over the grill.
-I love to laugh and will search out the ways and means to laugh. So if Chris Rock offends you, go into the other room.
Go Blue!!!
thanks for being the UofM representa for me…Go Blue.
He meant GO BUCKS!
You like that new Beyonce song? For real? *side eye trembling*
Thank you…I though it was just me…
Try again grasshopper, try again.
yep i do. not “single ladies” so much, but the clichéd, trite “if i were a boy”. yep, i love the music on it and beyoncé is sangin’ her arse off on it. it’s standard pop fare and me likey.
and i’m not sure what a “side eye” is or why its trembling, but you should probably get that checked out.
just sayin’.
Definite deal breakers: Men that wear their pants LOW; I mean below their butts, I live in Atlanta and it is similar to an epedemic young black men wearing their pants so you have full view of their butts
I was walking to class this morning and one of our athletes is walking towards me and I can see him holding the top of his shorts up, he had them hanging so low they kept falling down. When I walked by him I said, if you had them at your waist you wouldn’t have that problem
Those that repeatedly speak ill of Ice-T.
those that do gets no more of the Magical Golden. that is if they had gotten some in the first place.
“doesn’t take care of his kids”
^^^Hmmm, I don’t want to say nothing about this….but does anyone else see this as the soft bigotry of low expectations (c) Dubya?
I’m boycotting your blog.
GO GREEN! GO WHITE! GO SPARTANS!!!
(yes, I went to MSU).
But yea…as for dealbreakers:
*Mandals. I can’t date a man that wears mandals.
*Braids. Thats something a grown man should NOT be wearing. Plus, I can’t braid, so it takes away from the sex appeal.
*Men who are exotic dancers. Yes, there is one that wants to date me.
*Men who have children, multiple children. I’m too young to be a mother, and I HATE baby-momma drama.
*Grills. They made Nelly un-sexy.
*No car. Unless you live in a city where it’s not required (i.e. New York, Chicago, etc).
*Arrogant, flashy b*stards. You know, the ones with chains or that brag about what they got.
*Men who can’t hold a conversation of substance. Yes, it may be great to talk about entertainment stuff, or about that girl at the restaurant last night with the bad weave, but you can’t hold a conversation about current events and your reading list resembles that of Sarah Palin…yea, you gotta go.
*Ebonics. I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate someone who has a college degree, yet, you would never know because his grammar is worse than Soldier Boy’s.
*Close-minded. Thats self-explanitory.
YAYYY!! This post just set a VSB record for most comments!!!
*pops champagne*
Nah, damn all that! if a woman smiles at me, and she got them big bubble gum gums that are waaaay bigger than her teeth?
Check please!
If you think ill of Mariah Carey, I cannot date you.
Liz, I am an empty shell at the fact we can’t date.
if your hips are bigger than mine (& I have some big hips)
if you don’t like sports (I mean really)
if you have no chin… (the first thing I noticed about lil wayne…)
if you have no clean dishes in your house (had a guy give me a greasy glass full of water. I was so tempted to throw it at him.)
and last but not least, I cosign with the lady about the bathroom. I walked into one dudes bathroom and I retched. if I would have regurgitated, he probably would not have noticed.
something else came to mind while i was at the gym watching PTI and then somethin caught my eye and distracted me…
~guys who wear jeans while working out. becuz they’re bound to be losers. what respectably dude works out in demin??
terrible.
IF you dont find this amusing, then it wont work ->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtv02v1VYeg
long time lurker, first time commenter
i know im all kinds of late and ish. but i could never date a stutterer.
i.just.cant.do.it.
i takes a lot of ish from men, but that’s where i draw the line.
I just realized that my website has a pretentious O State-ish name….LOL…dah well!
Anyway…I give all my prospective chickadees the “Lebowski Test”…if she doesn’t abide by the dude, she’s outta there….
Quirky deal-breakers for me:
1. You don’t respect Michael Jackson as the greatest entertainer of all time.
2. You drink from my apple juice before I’ve established that it was ok. I love apple juice. A whole lot. I’m also germophobic. But those things together, and I’m NOT happy with you drinking from my container of apple juice without written consent from me.
Also… Donnie Hathaway… Howard alum. Don’t be mad. Just respect it. And never call us Morehouse’s bitch again. Not only is it inaccurate, but it’s grounds for a BIson stampede. Corny I know… but it had to be said.
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