ok.
so v-day is right around the corner and, even after following panama’s advice, you still find yourself date-less. what the hell are you supposed to do??
don’t fret my dears, the champ is here, with three great things to do if dateless on valentines day
1. “task-your-fate” …and be creative.
obviously, since you’re alone, you’re probably not completely foreign to the concept of master racin. you and pastor chasin are probably greatly acquainted with each other. still, today’s a special day, so you should treat yourself and be creative. remember, no one will love you unless you love yourself first, so give yourself a head start on that loving feeling
go lefty.
introduce a prop.
introduce a pop. (i don’t how you’d actually pull this off, but you’re being creative, remember?)
give yourself a “happy pants” at a packed movie theater. (bonus points if its “the reader“)
find a full length mirror and, ummm, use it.
pull a “stranger”.
make yourself a four course candlelight dinner, and bend yourself over the table in-between courses because you couldn’t keep your hands off yourself.
remember, the world’s your oyster, so break your oyster’s back.
2. send yourself flowers at work
***if flowers aren’t your cup of tea, fell free to substitute chocolate, satin boxer briefs, or anything else your lonely ass would think a valentine would get you***
this is perfect because there are only a few legal things more exciting than getting sh*t delivered to you at work. plus, why you should be the only one in the office with a pathetically barren and loveless cubicle?
also, dont worry, no one actually needs to find out that you bought these for yourself…and you don’t even have to lie! if a nosy co-worker does inquire, just reply “my favorite person bought them for me. the love of my life, the only one who’s ever held me at night”. sure, repeating this sentence aloud might force you to cry, but for all your colleagues know, they’re tears of joy!
also, its not a terrible idea to order these flowers while you’re in a drunken stupor. this way, you won’t remember actually ordering them, allowing you to genuinely surprise yourself when they come.
3. volunteer
when discussing volunteerism in education/outreach/social services circles, its a commonly held notion that young (21-35 year old) blacks are usually underrepresented. to expound in my most politically incorrect manner, “n*ggas don’t volunteer”.
i wish i could provide some contrasting evidence to refute this, but i’ve seen the exact same thing. thing is, usually “i’m too busy right now. i don’t have the time” is the refrain heard when i’ve attempted to recruit young (and educated) blacks to volunteer in various capacities, a fact which makes v-day excuse proof.
i mean, you’re already date-less and plan-less, so use this day to give some kids at the local Y some of the love your ass isn’t getting. sh*t, if you’re lucky, you might even find a kid willing to babysit your cats when you finally go on that date in 9 months.
there you have it: three foolproof and exciting things to do if banned from the twincities of coitustown and companionville on february 14th.
remember (to quote chuck): if life gives you lemons, just say “f*ck the lemons” and bail
—the champ
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{ 247 comments… read them below or add one }
while i am technically going to be valentine-less on saturday, i am expecting a “surprise” to be delivered to my place of “work”. and thankfully, i did not have to send this “surprise” to myself. gotta love e-love
@Gem-nastics,
e-boo is takin playing is position PROPER!!
Holla!!!!
@Gem-nastics,
how can you be expecting a surprise?
i don’t know what the “surprise” is– which is why surprise is in quotes to begin with.
@Gem-nastics,
duly noted and sh*t
@Gem-nastics,
4sho. *pops collar*
@Gem-nastics, oooh! i can’t wait to hear what the surprise is!
I e love you Champeroo for quoting “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”
I think those are pretty good ones. As the Deaconess of the Church of Self Love, I particularly endorse number one!!!
But let’s not forget that V-Day is a celebration of all kinds of love— not just romantic. Show the people in your life some extra love on Saturday… single or not.
“MAHALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”<—— will prally be getting hollered a lot on V-Day at the D____-S____ residence. Yeah baby, yeah!!!
@BlackBerry Molasses, “But let’s not forget that V-Day is a celebration of all kinds of love— not just romantic. Show the people in your life some extra love on Saturday… single or not.”
I couldn’t agree more.
@BlackBerry Molasses, “But let’s not forget that V-Day is a celebration of all kinds of love— not just romantic. Show the people in your life some extra love on Saturday… single or not.”
I completely agree. I’m going to send cards to my sisters and my single bestie, and get some flowers for my moms. And, I’m gonna send out e-love to all my folks single or coupled.
sho you right, BBMo–gotta show love to ALL loved ones. i’ve already mailed my Vday cards to far away lovies. and i plan on handing out Vday goodies for the homies on fri/sat when we get together to celebrate life, love and liberty (and justice for all). yay i’m excited!
@BlackBerry Molasses,
I e love you Champeroo for quoting “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”
i love me for that too
@The Champ,
btw… the add on this page when I posted….
“Are you Bi? Find out now.”
WTF is up with Google Ads?
@blackberry molasses,
I just saw that ish…
I was like, do you really need a quiz for that?!
@miss t-lee,
*snicker*
i thought the same thing.
@blackberry molasses,
i have no idea. at least its an upgrade from the “find you a married white chick” ads
I was asked to chaperone at a school function for the kids.. I’m just not trying to be a c-blocker for my son..lol
@Eathan,
I will not be able to go out on valentines day because I also will be chaperoning my daughter and two nieces to a school dance and I will be in full blown c*ckblock mode, lol.
@Eathan & Fivefivewithbrowneyes
that is TOO cute…i wanna chaperone something!!!***calls a friend with some kids to see if they’re having a valentines day dance***
I actually think this would also make a cute date. Where you and your date could chaperone the little dance…swoon.
@Princess Duvet,
I actually think this would also make a cute date. Where you and your date could chaperone the little dance…swoon
thats gay
@The Champ,
Champeromapalooza’s “thats’ gay”= “im totally intrigued by this”
@Princess Duvet,
touche and sh*t
One could take advantage of the 50%-75% off candy at your local grocery store; buy a couple of bags of your choice (3-5 usually work), a bottle or box of wine (Boone’s Farm anyone), pop in a self help CD to reaffirm your worth to yourself and the world, and eat yourself into a candy induced diabetic coma.
I went to my local Ralph’s today and it looked like a cracked out Cupid and a meth addicted Tinkerbell had decorated the joint. There were pink ballons and glitter everywhere. Clusters of pink ballons on every aisle, the fruit stands all had one or two love shaped glittered out ballons and there was a random archway right infront of the Starbucks kiosk created from every tacky variation of pink and red ballon you could think of. It made me happy inside. I love tacky. If tacky were a child in Africa, I’d sponsor it for the going rate of a cup of coffee and live for the notes and pictures she/he send me every month.
awww i miss Ralph’s
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I love tacky. If tacky were a child in Africa, I’d sponsor it for the going rate of a cup of coffee and live for the notes and pictures she/he send me every month.
“tacky” is your first name, right?
@The Champ,
Lol. No, no cats. Me and the feline critters don’t get along. I just love some good old tackiness. Sequins, glitter, faux rhinestones-anything that screams 80′s gaudy makes me simultenously cringe and smile
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“If tacky were a child in Africa, I’d sponsor it for the going rate of a cup of coffee and live for the notes and pictures she/he send me every month.”
I bet you have cats.
@Nikiloveli, or a scrapbook of cats.
@overit,
LMAO!
@overit,
…or a coffee table book filled with cat scrapbooks
@The Champ, overit, nikiloveli,
Oh how i hate u all for making me laugh so…
Add to the volunteer list–volunteer to keep your siblings kids while they go out and enjoy V-Day. You’ll be too busy to even think about being alone that night.
@Shelia (on the Invisible Love Tour),
good idea
@ The Champ,
make yourself a four course candlelight dinner, and bend yourself over the table in-between courses because you couldn’t keep your hands off yourself.
I must say this sounds intriguing. I might even get a nap in afterward from the exertion and sh*t…good lookin’ out.
Happy Saturday, single folks.
@Resident GRitS,
HI-larious!!!!!!!!!!!
@Resident GRitS,
I must say this sounds intriguing. I might even get a nap in afterward from the exertion and sh*t…good lookin’ out.
vsb.com: where the champ helps women help themselves
I like #3 and always wonder why we’re so underrepresented…….This is my first time being single on V-Day in a long time. I was gonna chill, but then got invited on a ski trip with a group of young black professionals. Figured it would be a good way to meet other people…
@Leila,
…or you could go to the local boys and girls club and teach underprivileged kids how to ski.
@The Champ, “or you could go to the local boys and girls club and teach underprivileged kids how to ski.”
I don’t know how to ski, but otherwise I would do that:)
***extra bonus points if you task your fate in front of an open window facing the apartment building across the street.
i had nothing else to add, so i just made this one up for sh*ts and giggles. i need to go to bed. i’m getting delirious.
you “made it up” huh?? why do i have a feeling you’ve actually done this… on more than 1 occasion??
@Gem-nastics,
yeah, i agree. me thinks ms p is a tasking your fating voyeur
@The Champ,
or is she the exebitionist?
@WuDaMan,
youre right. she’s definitely a crasser jason exhibitionist.
@The Champ, WuDaMan, i’m neither. i’m a good girl dangit! i just have a fertile imagination. it’s the writer in me.
*sticking out tongue at both of y’all*
@WuDaMan, neither, i’m a good girl.
@Miss Patterson,
I’m sending you a copy of ‘Super Freak’ by the late Rick James… it is your theme song.
@blackberry molasses, bbMo…hol’ up, you’re supposed to be on my side!
@Miss Patterson,
says who? LOL
I keed.
besides, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. My theme song was “Freak Like Me” by Adina Howard… **thinking**actually, it still is.
Just proclaim to folks, “I don’t do Valentine’s, it’s a corporate set-up, blah blah blah…” and stay at home and IM and Twitter…. oh wait, I have an SO, but we ain’t doing *ish we don’t on a normal Saturday, so don’t feel bad folks who ain’t doing *ish…….
@Naturally Alise,
Just proclaim to folks, “I don’t do Valentine’s, it’s a corporate set-up, blah blah blah…”
i like when people get real creative with this explanation. once, i had a guy try to tie v-day in with the illuminati. he actually was making a compelling case, until i remembered that he was homeless
@The Champ,
Am I the only person on earth who mentally follows up with “… all through your body, the blow’s like a 12-gauge shotty!” Every time she hears the word “Illuminati?”
Feel me!
@Nikiloveli, lmao, no I bet Panama does it!
@Nikiloveli,
You’re not alone…lmao!!!
@Nikiloveli,
Am I the only person on earth who mentally follows up with “… all through your body, the blow’s like a 12-gauge shotty!” Every time she hears the word “Illuminati?”
Feel me!
i was gonna type “yes”, until i read the replies below.
***insert subtly snarky comment about cat ladies***
“he actually was making a compelling case, until i remembered that he was homeless”
This made me chortle for an extend period of time.
@The Champ,
he actually was making a compelling case, until i remembered that he was homeless
I think i laughed at 3 The Champ jokes today… that’s a record. Score!
ValentiMe’s Day is a Communist plot to overthrow the government.
@RedBeanzNRice,
bwhahahahah
@RedBeanzNRice,
dearest cous cous, you keep telling yourself that LOL..
@RedBeanzNRice,
**see champ’s reply to comment number 9**
@The Champ,
How dare you use a recycled comment on me! Travesty!!
@ofloveandotherdemons
Agreed!!
@RedBeanzNRice,
Hahaaahaa.
Could we add all those other made up holidays to this: Secretary Appreciation day, Grandparents’ day, Llama appreciation day, etc
I haven’t found a reason to appreciate a llama YET.
@8th Wonder,
Have you never seen The Emperor’s New Groove? That comic masterpiece gave me a whole new appreciated for even-toed ungulates as a whole.
One thing single people can do on Valentines is keep living your life. If you have friends who are single, male or female, have a singles house party, or you all go out for dinner, then hit up your usual spot for late night drunkenness and possible debauchery. Or, take a trip with your girls/homies. And if you don’t have a life…get one. There is nothing worse than an adult person sitting around waiting for a potential SO to enter their life b4 they can start living and enjoying life. It’s pathetic….
I’m going to Myrtle Beach with some friends and the fam to cheer on my sister during the Myrtle Beach Marathon. I hope all of the singles and the coupled have a very happy and safe Valentine’s Day.
@N.I.A. ms.alladatshyt….,
One thing single people can do on Valentines is keep living your life.
this made me think of the chorus in that rihanna and t.i. song. now, it will probably be stuck in my head for the rest of the day
@N.I.A. ms.alladatshyt….,”There is nothing worse than an adult person sitting around waiting for a potential SO to enter their life b4 they can start living and enjoying life. It’s pathetic”
I don’t understand this at all. I’m single and I have a lot of fun going out. There’s no point staying home and being miserable.
@Leila, I don’t understand it either. Unfortunately, I know people, mostly ladies, who really do nothing for fun except shop. And then when they get into a relationship, they have no life outside of that relationship.
There is too much life to live to sit arond lamenting the fact that I’m single. I’m in the process of planning a Carribean vacation for myself as we speak.
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
“There is too much life to live to sit arond lamenting the fact that I’m single. I’m in the process of planning a Carribean vacation for myself as we speak.”
Alise is you single or is you otherwise coupled..up top you wrote you had an SO…im confused nah.
@Princess Duvet,
“Alise is you single or is you otherwise coupled..up top you wrote you had an SO…im confused nah.”
vsb.com: where comeback girl the comment cop happens
@Princess Duvet, “Alise is you single or is you otherwise coupled..up top you wrote you had an SO…im confused nah.”
Yeah, i think you are confused…..
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
i be daymed…im sorry sometimes Alise changes her moniker..and when i hovered over yalls link it looked the same to me.
carry on..
as you were…
over and out..
@Princess Duvet, You so special…….
I forgot to add last night—do what you normally do on any other day if it wasn’t Valentine’s Day. Don’t get boggled down in the commercial aspect of it. It’s only one day–so act like it and it won’t get you down.
@Shelia (on the Invisible Love Tour),
I agree with this. I think its only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Personally, Im more excited about the three day weekend and Presidents Day!
@Dom,
I wish I had President’s Day off!!! Boo!!!
@Dom,
“Im more excited about the three day weekend and Presidents Day”
You and me both.
It’s the one great thing about working at the conservative financial instituition. You get all those days off most folks don’t get.
Yay President’s Day!
@miss t-lee,
It’s the one great thing about working at the conservative financial instituition. You get all those days off most folks don’t get.
Yay President’s Day!
its the same way with catholic universities. i’m off for days of patron saints that i’ve never even heard of. sh*t, i think we have a day off next week to honor the patron saint of glue
@Dom,
Hollaback on the three day weekend!!!!!!
“if life gives you lemons, just say “f*ck the lemons” and bail”
LMAO.. For Single’s Awareness Day aka Valentine’s Day, I will be dateless, but me and my other dateless girlfriends are going to take ourselves out. I’m so tired at this moment though, I’ll prolly rent some movies and sleep it off.
@Nicki Sunshine, e-boo, I thought you were my date……
@Please Excuse Your Significant Other, I didn’t know.. are we gonna set up our webcams and have dinner?
@Sunny @ Please excuse..
can i chaperone yalls date with the little co-host webcam in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. LOL
@Princess Duvet, U sure can… I don’t want him getting “touchy.” LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
dats what im talking bout…if he gets fresh I’ll just moderate his @zz…
@Princess Duvet, Gracias… I need a chaperone in my daily life then…. LOL
@Princess Duvet, @Nicki Sunshine
the existence of this thread is actually number 42 in the “signs you’re slowly becoming a cat lady” handbook
@Nicki Sunshine,
I’m so tired at this moment though, I’ll prolly rent some movies and sleep it off.
and by “rent some movies” you mean “try champ’s number 1″ right?
@The Champ, LOL.. That was so freaky. Nooo, I’m too tired to do that. I’d just fall asleep. ***wear myself out ****
“I got an idea, that I wanna share / You don’t like it, so what, I don’t care”
*Cool points to whoever can guess what HipHop classic these lyrics came from*
Here’s my idea:
In the words of Junior Mafia, “F*ck bytchez, Get Money…F*ck n*ggaz, Get Money!!”
That’s right!! While everyone else is out spending money that they really don’t have, you can be making it. If you’re a poet, put your pen to the pad, and write some romantic lovey-dovey words and sell them shyts. Be as creative as you wanna be. Make floral arrangements and sell them shyts. Make your own goodie bag of treats with various chocolates and candies, tie it to a bottle of wine and sell them shyts. Everything’s over-priced any way, so create a price point that’ll help you beat out the competition but still make a good profit. If you’re not doing anything during the day on Friday, fill up the tank and be that “special delivery” guy/gal and charge people to deliver gifts to their loved ones while at work. Put an ad on craigslist if you want to advertise.
Whether you’re lonely or not at the end of the night, you’ll feel a lot better in the company of presidents.
@Monk,
***wavin the “church!!!!” fan***
@ Monk
Your lyric is from “It Takes Two”, I think…right?
Ding ding!
@Monk,
I love this idea….I may employ it while I’m at the beach. Cash in on those lovey-dovey vacationers….
@Monk,
The side hustler in me is swooning
@Monk,
I like it!
@Monk,
That’s right!! While everyone else is out spending money that they really don’t have, you can be making it.
this is a great point. seems like a perfect occasion for someone to get their hustle on
@Monk,
This whole comment made me laugh so hard.
“You’re a business, man!”
Mayne please.
We’re going out like we do almost every other weekend. Except this week we’re checking out a jazz club.
I think I’m gonna put on my shortest dress and my highest heels though…make a little extra effort…lol
Pull a switcheroo on ‘em.
@miss t-lee,
shortest dress and my highest heels
the champ approves of these extremes
@The Champ,
Thank you.
I think?
This Saturday I plan on sitting alone in my apartment with exactly, one chicken leg,one serving of baked mac and cheese,one strawberry spritzer,one blanket and one movie.
Happy Valenbhiygsfesabc….oh pooh.
@Rita,
This Saturday I plan on sitting alone in my apartment with exactly, one chicken leg,one serving of baked mac and cheese,one strawberry spritzer,one blanket and one movie.
where’s the one cat…or did he already hang himself?
@The Champ,
the cat ran away.
@Rita,
I felt so guilty while laughing at this.
Me and my gay husband(*) are gonna paint the town red!!!!
(*he was actually a former roster participant (5 years ago) but I had deemed him gay by word association and his need to get his “feet done”)
@Princess Duvet,
gay by word association?
Send Yourself flowers Champ?????… No Thanks…lol
@Jenna Marie Christian,
i buy MYSELF fresh flowers all the time. How would a man really know how to treat you, if he gets no indication FROM YOU.
I think women should be buying themselves stuff like this all the time. (vday or not).then show your gentleman callers WHAT’s up.
@Princess Duvet, I agree
Last weekend, I bought some lilies and put them in my nice glass vase. I love buying myself fresh flowers….They really do elicit happy feelings when I enter my apartment.
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
Yep…fresh flowers are the junk. Love the white roses and gerbera daisies.
yay for lillies!!! i don’t buy fresh flowers nearly as much as i used to. but one of my favorite things about being at my parents’ house in the summer is my mom fills her house with red and orange sunflowers–talk about brightening a room!! it esp sets off the kitchen, which has yellow walls.
@Princess Duvet,
I agree with treating yourself and buying fresh flowers for your desk or home center piece!!! I am all for that!!
however, I am not going to place an order at flowers.com and have some flowers sent to myself at work for valentine day!!
That’s just me, but do your thing if it that’s what you like
Happy Wednesday All…Work Week is Almost Over!!!
testing..dayum i cant reply is there vday conspiracy going on.
@Princess Duvet,
how come i can;t reply to Jenna Marie..can someone post one of my responses to her. I feel like Im in an insane aslyumn and can’t speak and what not.
@Princess Duvet,
lol… what’s wrong???
@Jenna Marie Christian,
i couldnt reply directly to your reply..im too tired right now to give a recap..
@Princess Duvet,
i understand
@Jenna Marie Christian,
Don’t you buy fresh flowers for your house/apartment/living quarters?
I am a sucker for flowers, so my living room is always flowered.
@Specialized Sula,
Yea, I do!!! I like flowers and enjoying spoiling myself with nice things also. I didn’t mean to come off as if I didn’t.
With my initial post I was responding to the idea of “sending myself flowers to work for Valentine’s Day”… I am just not feeling that particular idea..that’s all
Oh yeah I meant to call you this earlier, but sending yourself flowers at work?
Last I checked V-Day was on Saturday this year, correct?
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
when i worked in an office full of women and VDay fell on a Sunday…it was always done that previous FRIDAY.
Trust women all over this country are gonna be getting flowers and balloons on FRIDAY..to parade all around the office like “somebody loves me” SOMEBODY LOVES ME..
@Princess Duvet,
Re-dayum-diculous. Is this high school or something?
Bytches got low self-esteem and sh*t.
@8th Wonder,
You said it e-twin.
@8th Wonder,
i choked. I swear.
@8th Wonder,
lol…look at aif getting all hood and sh*t
@8th Wonder,
Whatevs. Getting flowers at work is the shyt. But it means more when it comes out of the blue, and not in conjunction with every other heffa in the office.
I LOVE getting flowers, and its always a nice surprise to get them at work.
But there’s a diff between them being sent to you as a gift and you smiling to yourself, and you running up and down the halls with the vase in your hands to show that someone cared enough to get you flowers in an effort to make your underoo’s come down later.
Ya dig?
@8th Wonder,
I see your point.
Know what sucks though? Getting flowers at work, and assuming they’re from your SO, but they’re not, so drama ensues, and it’s oh, 3 days before V-day.
That sucks.
That would only suck if you felt the need to play yourself by telling your SO someone other than him gave you flowers, lmao.
That’s one battle I would NOT pick.
@8th Wonder,
I remember one year this guy came in a gave this chick a gift. It was two carnations in a vase (Something he clearly got on the side of the road on the way in) and a pair of 5 point diamond earrings.
She accepted them and told him thank you. After he left she proceeded to call him everything but a child of God, put the carnations in the break room and gave the earrings to our security guard.
I couldn’t do ish but laugh…loudly.
Damn twinny, thats rough as hell. Not the security guard…
He could have gotten her a hot basket of nothing, but then HE would have been wrong, right?
ugh.
@Nikiloveli,
Know what sucks though? Getting flowers at work, and assuming they’re from your SO, but they’re not, so drama ensues, and it’s oh, 3 days before V-day
Or getting flowers, chocolate, and champale (lol cuz it wasn’t champagne) from your stalker baby daddy whom you haven’t copulated with in years who thought presenting you with a gift in front of your co-workers might make you feel more compelled to give him some play but ewww… sorry venting. Vday is close and I’m curious to see what dis muphucka here is going to do (if ne thing… if it’s nothing Yay! less drama 4 me)?? maybe i need to be posting on the babydaddy blog today…
@8th Wonder, i miss underoos. i had wonder woman underoos when i was little. just thought i’d share…hmm, i wonder i they make them for adults?
@8th Wonder,
LMAO!!
Bytches got 10 degress below self-esteem….
Right. Ole sub-zero self esteem faces.
@8th Wonder,
Artic self-esteem proper.
@miss t-lee,
I remember Valentines Day in high school. A*friend* went around popping girls balloons…she did the same thing on birthdays as well.
So many fights over some latex and helium.
@Rita,
“so many fights over some latex and helium.”
sounds like my saturday nights
@The Champ,
*guffaw*
@The Champ,
lol!
@Rita, d@mn! that’s rough. i ain’t one to be parading around with sh!t but I’ll be d@mned if you come around destroying my sh!t.
@SouthernGirl,
yea, I could never carry balloons around her cause it was like some weird recreational habit.
We (the faculty) had to have a lot of conversations with her about the meaning of personal property.
She even popped some of the balloons at my boyfriends graduation party.
I haven’t seen her since graduation,come to think of it.
To go along with #1….
Check to see if any of your male single friends are online, pick the one you know has the biggest, and turn on that webcam for some virtual couple master racin/pastor chasin…. Visual stimulation can be a great aid for master racin…or so I heard……
*wondering if my e-boo has a webcam* hmmmm
@Gem-nastics,
Sure gonna find out if i can get one…believe that.
@Gem-nastics, Gemmie! You need to report to Bible study immediately! *snickering* Make sure you get Logitech quickcam. They’re the best…
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
LMAO! Is it wrong to want to hang out with your girls on Valentine’s Day and make plans to do some, errrrr, ahhhhh, other things later on that evening with a non-platonic friend? My girl keeps asking me if this is OK and I don’t have an answer for her.
I see nothing wrong with this, lol.
@8th Wonder,
Me neither.
@miss t-lee,
me three. “spread” the love, I say… go on, SPREAD.
@Voiceofreason,
for most guys, thats the perfect v-day
Exactly, lol!
@The Champ,
Then I think…um…I mean my girl thinks too much like a guy. Uh huh, my girl.
@Voiceofreason,
Well, I hope you…um…I mean your girl has a good time this weekend!!
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
LOL! Thanks. I’ll give her the message. Hope you have a good weekend too!
@Voiceofreason,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Hanging with her girls can handle some needs, but not the ones her non-platonic friend can handle. In fact, I suggest all singles, b4 you resort to #1 and my addition to it, see if you can make some late nite plans with your non-platonic friend. And if it makes you feel better or does something for your conscience, blame it on the goose….
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
“blame it on the goose….”
**don’t judge me**
I actually LIKE that song. Its ignant as h3ll, and I love it.
@blackberry molasses,
LOL!! I love that song, and it was playing on AOL Radio as I was typing that. I think we’re entitled to like at least one ignant song per month….
@Voiceofreason,
*head tilt* is non-platonic the new jump off?
@SouthernGirl,
I was wondering that myself. I wouldn’t consider it a jump off because a jump off has no relationship potential; you can’t do anything outside of jumping off. Right? A non-platonic friend could result in a relationship depending on how close you get.
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
“Check to see if any of your male single friends are online, pick the one you know has the biggest, and turn on that webcam for some virtual couple master racin/pastor chasin…. ”
e-co-op-ulation..with a random male friend??? thats gross to me. Most men..don’t make it their business to collect women who are JUST friends ANYWAY..so in essence you’re turning on a camera in your lace undies for someone whose just not that into you?
where is the turn on for a woman there? assuming most men get off watchin cartoons.
@Princess Duvet, “so in essence you’re turning on a camera in your lace undies for someone whose just not that into you?”
You’re assuming that the woman is that into him….
and since men and women can’t be just friends, said woman can IM her non-platonic friend in another city/state whom she might/very likely would be with if they were in the same city/state, and get things popping. literally and figuratively…..
and some women are turned on by men being turned on by that woman at that time….
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
“You’re assuming that the woman is that into him….”
YES..dear GOD YES….tons of other things to do in this whole wide world if you’re bored and horn!y.
“tons of other things to do in this whole wide world if you’re bored and horn!y.”
Champ takes advantage of this truth every day.
@8th Wonder,
aif, you aint never lied.
well…except about that rash.
Rash deez.
““my favorite person bought them for me. the love of my life, the only one who’s ever held me at night”. sure, repeating this sentence aloud might force you to cry, but for all your colleagues know, they’re tears of joy!”
LMAO! This whole post is a mess! I’m thankful V-Day is on a saturday this year. I hate having work folks all up in my da*n business!
And I can’t stand the cattiness V-Day brings out in the office. One chick got chocolate covered strawberries last year and specifically said her bf sent them to “make the other ladies jealous.” Yeah, I’m jealous all right. I Sooooo wish I had a tool for a boyfriend.
@Dom,
“I Sooooo wish I had a tool for a boyfriend”
i’m sure you can find one here:
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/tool_academy/series.jhtml?source=globalnav
@The Champ,
Wow. Just Wow.
Am I the only one who knows more people who don’t have dates on VD (Hahaha, VD!) than ones that do? I’d rather have no date, than go out with someone just so I can say I have a date on Valentine’s Day.
If you must do something because it’s Valentine’s Day call your single friends and go out for dinner and drinks. And when you go have a FABULOUS time and be the FLYEST women in the room. Some women will wish they were hanging out with you instead of being on a date, and some men will wish they’d met you before they met the chick they’re on a date with.
@Voiceofreason,
Some women will wish they were hanging out with you instead of being on a date, and some men will wish they’d met you before they met the chick they’re on a date with.
so basically you’re saying you should try to incite arguments?
@The Champ,
Incite arguments? No, no, no. In order to incite there must be intent. But if folks start goin buck as a result of ones flyness, so be it.
@The Champ,
If someone is an attractive nuisance, it’s not their fault.
Attractive Nuisance….Do I get a t-shirt for this one? Please????!!!!
@Voiceofreason,
I like that. Attractive nuisance. Ima make me my own t-shirt.
No, for real, I am.
@nia,
Iono…some translate that as “I’m cute, but I’ll bore you.”
@nikiloveli,
Oh yeah…that’s true. Never mind…
How bout…”Look at me!! Wit my fine azz…”
Too subtle?
@nia,
Now you’re thinking!
@nia,
That might be the best t-shirt idea ever.
@nikiloveli,
What’s boring about a nuisance? If anything the shirt could get a convo going with a lawyer, being that it’s a legal term that applies to pools, certain constuction sites, etc.
@Voiceofreason,
I’m familiar with the term, for a myriad of unfun reasons. Then again, the majority of the lawyers that I know would be perfect candidates for an “attractive nuisance” tshirt to begin with.
I’m kinda geeked that V-Day coincides with Friday the 13th this year!
As tradition in my life… it will be movies, movies and more movies! Followed by dinner and a night out with my girls.
On saturday, depending on how hungover I am, doing my hair(gotta keep the dreads tight), lunch and shopping…before going out dancing and drinking.
I already got all the chocolates I want. Just waiting to go pick up my CCS tomorrow.
@Ro,
ccs?
@Ro, On saturday, depending on how hungover I am, doing my hair(gotta keep the dreads tight),
yay on DIY dreads!!!
And I forgot all about Friday the 13th, and movies. I hope the hotel I’m in this weekend has good cable…and I have to make a run to the ABC….
@N.I.A. Ms.Alladatshyt….,
wait is you going to the abc liquor store??
@WuDaMan,
of course I am!! I have to pick up a few “supplies” for my weekend at the beach.
What do u do with a can of soda? Enlighten me. I kno u’ll tan easier if u rub pepsi on ur skin b4 goin outside… is dat it? but how does that tickle ur fancies?
@Tasty Kake215,
good questions
@Tasty Kake215,
I think he’s suggesting the ladies ummmm… “Pull a Li’l Kim” with regards to the soda can… just make sure you got the Ben-Wa’s ready to re-tighten your stuff afterwards…
and task-your-fating has also been referred to “Poppin the Pepsi Can” on this site.
@blackberry molasses,
Ow!
@blackberry molasses, Ouch!!! Can u say “my bloody valentine” tehe (sorry i’ve been waitin to make that corny joke).
But that does not sound like fun, its a cooch not a cooler.
VSB people’s residing in Pgh… I’m posting the Vday activities that I’ve come across on my blog http://www.museacd.blogspot.com
If ur looking for something to do this weekend… and I promise the info WILL be posted b4 the weekend (lol) holla @ me.
@pgh muse, my boy DJ Nate is promoting a party at Ava on Saturday. Check it out! It’s from 10p-2a.
It’s called “All 4 the Love”
@Miss Patterson,
:0) thanks Ms. Pattiecakes. It’s going to b posted on my blog… and should be fun too:) i love a Nate da phat party…
@pgh muse,
And to all Pgh VSB peoples if I can get a sitter I’m definitely going to this… free to the ladies b4 11pm. $15 @ the door. Yinz should come! It’s gonna b fun! Free choco coated strawberries. Yum!
What’s all the fussin for? Valentines Day? February 14th? Is it all that? Kill yourself.
@Dice Vegas,
welcome and sh*t.
@The Champ,
Thanks and shi*t. Valentines Day huh? Isn’t it a leap year? What does that mean? Aren’t we supposed to hold our genetalia hostage unless homage is paid. Naw that’s Prostitution Day isn’t it? My bad. Heads I win tales you loose.
@Dice Vegas,
Woah, you’re slightly nuts and I like it!
Welcome!!!
**Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
@blackberry molasses,
Whoa! The drama surrounding Valentines Day is what’s nuts. Thx for the welcome.
@Dice Vegas,
well d@mn! lol.
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@SouthernGirl,
well Dam, is what I said regarding the false expectation and its effect on self worth which underpins the threat of whatever regarding feb 14th.
@Dice Vegas,
Well damn.
@Dice Vegas,
that was deep
@Deviant,
Deep? Well sometimes you gotta be big enough to see how small Valentines Day really is. How deep is that? Deeper than whale tail?
I don’t know what the big deal is. I always have fun on V-day.
I throw rocks at couples.
I go to IHOP and pretend to have a fight with a chick on the phone.
I load myself up with fiber and then sit close to loving couples at restaurants in a flatulent state.
I grab a box of chocolate off the CVS shelves and make a stink about how long it’s sat up on there.
I pay local kids to go up to couples and hug the dude and say “daddy, why do you keep avoiding me?”
There’s plenty to do…so all you singles be happy. I know I am.
Do you need a hug?
@8th Wonder,
he needs a dose of ‘sweater puppies’… STAT!
@blackberry molasses,
I’ll take sweater puppies.
I’m more excited about not having to be at work on Monday than anything else. I’m smiling just thinking about my chill weekend. Hell, I may not even leave the house on Saturday.
I love VDay, whether I’m single or in a relationship, so I wish all of you a happy valentine’s day. May you give love and get love in return!
And hopefully the love returned to you won’t come with any extras. Like the herp.
G’day!
@8th Wonder,
“And hopefully the love returned to you won’t come with any extras. Like the herp.”
Thanks for the well wishes?
You’re welcome, it came from the heart and sh*t.
@8th Wonder,
What’s this??? *stairing at bloodied hands* I been kilt by ocho pan’s jok.
@8th Wonder,
I love VDay, whether I’m single or in a relationship, so I wish all of you a happy valentine’s day. May you give love and get love in return!
And hopefully the love returned to you won’t come with any extras. Like the herp.
this is hilarious… i laughed and bent over and laughed some more… whoo… and had to blow out and laugh some more. Happy Vday right back @ u!
i almost made it through life not knowing what ” the stranger” was, thanks a lot, champ
@Wise Diva, you gotta know about the stranger!! very helpful at times!! VERY!!!
@Don Giovanni,
I’m a big fan of the Stranger. Highly informative and errr uhh… entertaining.
@Don Giovanni,
and not THAT stranger up there either… I thought it was a reference to an online mag… not numb masterfating…
@pgh muse,
This is exactly why I don’t click on them links until I leave work…lol
@miss t-lee, lol… he got me!
@pgh muse,
Yeah I got hemmed up by one of them links once, and ever since then, I have not clicked on anything.
All day, I was waiting on HR to come by my desk…lmao
@miss t-lee,
I’ve learned my lesson. That’s why you should right click on it and go to “properties” to see what the link is. If it doesn’t look safe, I copy the link and email it to my phone.
That’s a shame. All that to look at somethin dirty…hee hee…
@miss t-lee,
u and me both… or a phone call to my boss or something. It’s horrible.
@pgh muse, HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
I APPROVE of this message.
@chaoticdiva,
i approve of your approval
“however, I am not going to place an order at flowers.com and have some flowers sent to myself at work for valentine day!!
”
for some reason i can’t directly reply (this is my 3rd time writing this..yes im pressed cause i REALLY wanna say what i have to say)…anyhoo..
my point is this..though ive never sent myself flowers on vday from flowers.com (or any other site..given on most vdays i was “entangled or in a situationship”. It doesn’t seem like such a bad idea tho.
To me its ultimately about intent. While it is a little suspect to send yourself flowers to show the world how much someone else loves you. sending yourself flowers to your office, home, etc..can be an indication of the best love; self love.
falling in love with yourself (which can be an outward expression of a host of material things) FIRST really is how someone else is able to truly do it.
***logs onto to flowers.com to send myself some tulips.***
@Princess Duvet,
for some reason i can’t directly reply (this is my 3rd time writing this..yes im pressed cause i REALLY wanna say what i have to say)…anyhoo..
you get an a for effort.
(and by “a” i mean an “f”)
@The Champ,
thanks for not actually posting the number of times i actually DID write this little reply.
@Princess Duvet,
“To me its ultimately about intent. While it is a little suspect to send yourself flowers to show the world how much someone else loves you. sending yourself flowers to your office, home, etc..can be an indication of the best love; self love.”
Um, no.
***singing***
…She’s so looonelyyyy, she has nobodeeeeee…to call her own… oooweeooo-oooweeooo
@nikiloveli,
“She’s so looonelyyyy, she has nobodeeeeee…to call her own… oooweeooo-oooweeooo”
i personally think the LONLIEST women are the ones who wait on a man to do the things that really show YOU you LOVE YOURSELF..more over if you’re waiting to do nice things that really you should be doing anyway..you gonna be waiting a long time.
moreover again..how do you except to be treated well..if no one has a frame of reference in actually HOW TO TREAT YOU.
@Princess Duvet,
Aww, punkin. It was a joke. I buy myself flowers all the time, or I used to until I hooked up with someone that buys them for me.
Nothing wrong with that at all. However, I do think it a bit extreme to actually PAY to have something DELIVERED to YOURSELF at work. If it was truly about proudly embracing one’s love of self, then why couldn’t you just swing by a florist on the lunch break, and prance through the office with them afterwards?
It seems that going through the trouble of having them sent just lends a different implication to the whole matter.
@Princess Duvet,
i found your response and i do see your points. they are valid.
As I stated previously, I personally am not feeling the idea that was listed regarding “sending myself flowers to work for valentine day”…but to those that do… great, not knocking it…i’m just not doing it that’s all…
no big deal
Enjoy your Tulips 
I’m usually alone each and every Valentine’s Day and I have no problems with it (anymore)!! I usually spend it with my favorite lady or keeping the little ones of friends!! While I’m not sure about “The Reader”, I will be at the theater adding extra “butter” to someone’s popcorn!!
@Don Giovanni,
welcome back and sh*t, don g
@The Champ, thanks!! had to get some things handled!! i’ve been reading, just hadn’t been posting!!
i know y’all have been missing my exclamation points!!!!!
@Don Giovanni,
Yes…we have.
*giggles*
@miss t-lee, LOL!!
I like the idea of spreading the love to people other than those one is interested in romantically is great.
I think that Vday… since it’s about love, and who better should we all love than ourselves is a great day to make a bucket list. It’s harder than it seems too. Make a list of things you want to do in life… say 10 or 20 and then take Vday to begin doing one of the things on your list. An older lady I know said make a list of 100 and revisit it every so often to see what you’ve accomplished. I think it’s a great idea.
Or watch the kids of a friend or family member that desparately needs to get their swerve on. You’ll be a hero and you’ll have a good time cuz kids are fun. And some kids movies are hilarious. Bolt ne one? I love that movie
@pgh muse,
Yo, Kids are unsocialized. I just wanted to leave a comment and had nothing to say.
Since I don’t have a Valentine and monkeys are hard to come by I got a dog two days ago. I was planning on the dog loving me or at least being grateful that I feed it. But it hates me and peed on my books.
Now I have to troll Walmart for a last minute date…
@SxyScientst,
Congratulations on the new pet. Sorry but you got to train em to hold it till they get outside. So what kind of dog? hey make the dog thing work for you take em to the local dog park n let some guy teach you how to train em. Or go to the book store to 1 replace your books micturated on *snicker* 2 to look cute near the dog training books.
There’s only one reasonable thing to do if you’re a woman and you find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day. Put on your “I’m easy” dress, go to the fanciest restaurant in town, find the table with the biggest bouquet of roses, walk up to it and tell the guy sitting there with his lady that you’re pregnant… and it’s his.
Ruining Vday for some disgustingly happy couple is so much better than flowers and chocolate.
I’m kidding… kinda. I’ll be home babysitting for my homeboy and his wife.
@GiGi,
I’d pay you to watch the kids and let you go out and pull this stunt w/ a hidden camera crew. This would be hilarious on cheeters or something. ctfu.
@WuDaMan,
I concur and sh*t