That title has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It just so happens to be the name of a song I penned for my defunct alt-emo synth pop group, Ziphyl. And I felt like sharing.
Sharing is caring.
Ahem.
Before my current relationship, I had a long and storied dating history. But you know what? It would have been even longer if I hadn’t come up with a million and one (questions – we did it again, ninjas) reasons not to date certain women. Sure, nobody should cut anybody back JUST because they only have one leg and were still trying to do the Stanky Leg in the club, but I believe in ambition, not insanity. Of course, if when you go out you run into a list of women that rivals Akeem and Semi’s foray into the Queens women-scene, then you should just run like hell and don’t look back.
Word to Paul Williams.
So, back to the reasons. I’ve often had a good reason to chuck a knucklehead, but alas, I’m only human. I’m flesh and blood – a man. This means I’ve also come up with bupkus. But I’m not the only one. I’ve heard some dumb arse reasons as to why a relationship couldn’t be pursued. So I figured today, we’d examine some of the dumbest common reasons and sort of debunk them. You see, I, Panama Jackson, believe in love, since love, actually is, around us everyday.
1) “I met him in the club, I can’t date him.”
I’ve always thought this was a wee-bit stupid as a reason not to date somebody. The thinking is that you met dude in the club so he’s only interested in your physical, not the mental. The reason this is dumb logic is this: as men, we’re ALWAYS initially interested in your physical as opposed to your mental. If I meet you in aisle 4 of Trader Joes while you look at organice snow peas, I’m still checking out your snow peas first. Note: I have no clue what a woman’s snow peas would be. End note.
Also, YOU’RE AT THE CLUB TOO DUMBARSE. If I’m good enough to be at the club, then I can’t assume others AREN’T now can I??? I hate dumb logic. Almost as much as I hate UNC.
Go ‘Nova.
2) “Man this girl is damn near perfect. She just isn’t hot enough.”
Oh how I hate when cats I know tell me that they met the perfect chick, or would have if she was a little bit cuter. Now, as a man, I understand how important aesthetics are; however, if you meet a woman who can hold her own in the Jay vs. Nas debate, knows Jordan’s scoring average in 1997, and is an all around great person…as long as she ain’t on some Panama level (you know, a 3) then she just might be wifey material. Plus, everybody looks like crap at 75 anyway. Seriously, short of Eartha Kitt, when was the last time you saw a hot 84 year old? Exactly.
3) “This dude drinks with his pinky up in the air…I can’t date him, he might be gay.”
Yeah, I got nothing. Don’t date him.
4) “He’s nearly perfect, but he’s just too short for me.”
Look, unless you have a height obsession, understand that some of the best men out there are going to be vertically challenged. I think the range goes from like 5’4 to 5’10 (and 5’10 and really that short, it just ain’t tall). Men who aren’t tall fall into one of two categories: they’re either really great people since they had to be the cool dude and develop actual pesonalities to compete with the athletes or they have Napolean comlexes. If you run into the nice (but short) guy, he might actually be the guy of your dreams – ya know, assuming you dream of things like Being John Malkovich.
5) “That girl wears too much makeup.”
This is a very good reason not to date somebody. You never want to risk meeting a second person because the first one takes off her face. Word.life.son. In undergrad, I knew this chick who was uberbangin’, except she wore so much makeup that I was afraid to hug her. Wore enough makeup on one day to supply the cast of the Thriller video and The Lion King.
Rar. Two snaps around the world and, rar, again.
So my fellow VSBers, what are some terrible reasons you’ve heard not to date somebody? Hell, what are good reasons not to date somebody. Share.
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Sidenotes: I got a bunch. So, if you’re in the DC area, this week at Liv @ Bohemian Caverns (11th and U Street, NW) are two good shows. For the hiphop set, on Wednesday, April 1, Blu & Exile will be performing. On Thursday, Teedra Moses will be performing with opening act by Muhsinah. If you’ve never seen either of them perform, trust me, it would be worth it.
Also – this is a favor for my boy – my homey is starting up a new website. I’ve been part of the planning process and this site looks like it could be quite entertaining. The specialization? Ignorance. Anyway, he’s looking for writers who have a special penchant for uber-ignorance and thought quite a few VSBers might fit the bill. If you’re interested in writing somewhere and believe that ignorance is the future, well hit up my boy at juanyay.east@gmail.com. I’ll probably work with him on it – though probably not writing.
And lastly, I’ve been wrestling with whether or not I was gonna tell the story about why my twitter account was suspended (and it’s a doozy – a post in and of itself), but either way, I’m back on Twitter at www.twitter.com/panamadjackson. If we were twitter pals (or whatever you call them) before, you’ll need to add me at the new address. So add a playa.
That means you too.
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{ 343 comments… read them below or add one }
Reasons I have for not engaging in the dating ritual. These are good perfectly good reasons.
- He doesn’t get sarcasm. I like to be sarcastic; it’s my thing. If he is too literal and has to ask ‘what do you mean’? after every witty jab I throw, then he’s taken off the roster.
- He’s a ‘self-promoter’…I don’t like this quality, in general, in anyone, let alone a man I’m dating. There is a time and place to promote whatever you are working on, but not while we are having drinks with friends and the group is talking about something unrelated. Once is ok. All the time? Be gone.
- He tries too hard to be funny. Again, a quality I hate in people in general. If you are funny and witty…folks will get it. You don’t have to go out of your way to perform a stand up routine at every opportunity.
- He over does it with the compliments. I am a woman and, like 99 percent of women – I enjoy a compliment. But a guy who gives me 30 compliments in 15 minutes – yes…this has happened. A guy told me, in the span of a quarter hour that he couldn’t believe he was talking to me, that I was too beautiful, that he felt like he was with a movie star. Now, I have pretty high self confidence but I know bull$hit when I smell it. That ish only works on girls with low self esteem. A simply ‘you look good’ is all I need.
- Hat cuties. Any guy who consistently rocks a hat and ONLY looks good in hats – seriously, he goes from an 8 to a 3 after the removal of said hat – gets pushed to the side.
@iloVEGrits,
I was with you up to the “Hat cuties”. LL Cool J is STILL a stone cold fox in my book. And Ne-yo… doesn’t like women so that ain’t even an issha.
@Luvvie,
Please note that I said:
“Hat cuties. Any guy who consistently rocks a hat and ONLY looks good in hats – seriously, he goes from an 8 to a 3 after the removal of said hat.”
Based on this, LL is NOT a hat cutie because he looks good without the hat.
@iloVEGrits,
me thinks luvvie has a hat fetish.
@The Champ,
Jus cause I stan for hats perfectly cocked to the right dont mean its a fetish. :-p
@iloVEGrits,
LL looks like a human bullet without his hat, but he still a cutie
@Luvvie,
lmao@ human bullet! but i think he’s cute even without hats. neyo? not so much…
but like you said, he doesnt like girls, so its moot.
there’s nothing wrong with not dating a dude because of his height. from my experience (and my mother’s astute observations), short dudes have complexes. i’ve tried to give em chances, but they always end up messing me up with their need for attention and general tomfoolery. i can’t get messed around by a dwarf (okay, dude wasn’t a dwarf legally, but in heels i look like his baby sitter). my pride just can’t take it.
and also dumb reasons for not dating someone include having problems with their ethnicity. this is probably more of an african thing (i’m talking about not dating someone because they’re not from the “right” tribe). it’s not like this is back in the day when marrying them could provoke a things fall apart style inter-village war – i need my african people to stop it. now.
c’est tout.
@puff,
“there’s nothing wrong with not dating a dude because of his height. ”
I agree with this. I can’t date a guy who’s 5’4″ cuz he’s shorter than me and we don’t need to look like mutt and jeff walking around the streets. But a guy who’s 5’10″ can holla cuz, well, he’s taller than I am and we won’t look idiotic.
@iloVEGrits,
see, now that is reasonable to me. whats not reasonable is the woman who is barely 5 feet talkin about she wont mess with a dude under 6 feet tall. seriously? what the hell you need all that man for!??!
me, im a tall chick, so i like tall dudes…i have honestly never met a dude that was like 5’4 and DIDNT have a complex. i know they exist, i just never met em…
@puff, see your comment makes more sense than most women’s ideas on height. You’re not dating men who have complexes some women just dont be dating men over height. Always bothered me to hear a 5ft tall woman say she couldnt date anyone under 5’11
@osyeP,
“Always bothered me to hear a 5ft tall woman say she couldnt date anyone under 5′11″
here. here. If you are pseud0-midgety you should leave the taller guys for the taller girls. I feel for the 6’0″ girl in the room, having to watch the 5’0″ tall chick slob all over the 6’3″ guy.
@iloVEGrits, here. here. If you are pseud0-midgety you should leave the taller guys for the taller girls. I feel for the 6′0″ girl in the room, having to watch the 5′0″ tall chick slob all over the 6′3″ guy.
Uhh where you live? that might have been me and my hubby! LMAO
@shay_d_lady,
Haha. I remember the girls’ b-ball team used to “jokingly” threaten us shorter chicks for taking all the tall men.
It’s not our fault though. A lot of those tall dudes aint checkin for the Amazonian shorties anyway. So why not let me have my fun?
@Me fail english?,
“Amazonian shorties” – An oxymoron that works
@puff, “short dudes have complexes”
I concur!
@puff,
short dudes have complexes
what constitutes short and sh*t?
@The Champ,
in my experience, 5’7″ and under.
generally though, i’m not one of those chicks who’s obsessed with dating a dude on yao ming’s level – i’m 5’9″ so as long as i can rock my heels and not have it look like i’m gulliver dating a lilliputian, then we’re good.
@The Champ, It’s relative. I’m 5″4 and guys shorter than me are short. Height isn’t the biggest deal for me, but I notice that guys shorter than me just have a complex about it.
@Leila,
i think short is in the mind sometimes…like i know a dude who is 5’8 (which i believe is average for men) and is always talking about how he is short and cant mess with no tall women and so forth…im like, would people even say that you were short if you werent yappin about it all the damn time? im 5’10 and i dont particularly love heels…i could get with a 5’8 dude, but not this one! HE has a complex!
@shatani,
I’m 5’8″ and two tallest women I’ve dated were both 5’10″. On most occasions, I’m just not as attracted to tall women. I tend to be more into women with nice TWA ratios (t*ts to waist to *ss), and most tall women I see are either built like retired power forwards or Olive Oil from those Popeye cartoons.
I can’t say that I refuse to date tall women, because there are some seriously beautiful ones out there whom I’d have no problem walking arm and arm with…holding hands with…asking her to grab things off the top shelf of the cabinet for me, etc…I just tend to be more attracted to women in the 5’1″-5’7″ range.
If this offends any tall women, that is not my intention. It’s just merely Leon’s opinion…So calm down, Shaquille! LOL
“Short dudes have complexes”
I’ve always wondered why short dudes always get the label of having a “complex”. Doesn’t anyone who has/had a so-called physical “ailment” (no diss…I’m under 6 ft, also) have a bit of a complex.
The chick that used to be fat and insecure is now fit and self-assured and won’t stand for anyone to take her back to feeling like her old self…no one accuses her of having a “fat complex”. The dude that was geeky, pimple-faced and frail back in high school who now has grown into his looks and took advantage of his penchant for computers and turned himself into the next internet site entrepreneur…no one accuses him of having a “geek complex”. I say this to say that I don’t think it has to do so much with a person’s height as much as it has to do with a person’s insecurities and the experiences that person has had to deal with due to their so-called physical “ailment”…I don’t know, I’ve always wondered that though…if that is the case then everyone has a complex about something.
you can’t change your height though. a gym membership, slimfast, clean & clear, and lasik can make a WORLD of difference in how you feel about yourself and how others perceive you. if you’re a short man, you just gon be short. you could TRY heels but that could lead to all kinds of other ramifications. in general i think ppl tend to build complexes about things they can’t change or things they’re unwilling to change (becuz of denial, wanting acceptance as they are, etc)
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Well said.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
I agree with you, and there are other things people can’t change about themselves too, but have complexes about. I just have noticed the actual term “short complex” gets the most notoriety. I don’t knock anyone for their standards…we all have them.
@The Champ,
Any dude shorter than me is short. I’m 5’9″.
@The Champ, I have a guy friend who I used to date who was about 5’3″. He clearly has a short complex and I guess with good reason since his height didn’t even make the short criteria…so what does that make him a tall midget?? At any rate I’m only 5′ myself so I don’t have a lot of room to talk about someone’s height… But as a 5′ tall woman it is a little troubling to date a guy who you’re taller than when you put on heels. That’s a problem I should never have. I wish he were taller because he’d probably be a perfect guy and not have a short complex. Or then again he’d probably have some other issues just like every other guy….
If I meet you in aisle 4 of Trader Joes while you look at organice snow peas, I’m still checking out your snow peas first. Note: I have no clue what a woman’s snow peas would be. End note.
this made me chuckle. i love it!
as long as she ain’t on some Panama level (you know, a 3) then she just might be wifey material.
LOL you stoopit. i almost choked reading that. and 3s are cool as long as their breath ain’t harsh enough to relax somebody’s curl (from afro to victoria beckham bob), arches their eyebrows or skin peel their face. lmbo ooooooh somebody save me!
Wore enough makeup on one day to supply the cast of the Thriller video and The Lion King.
you know you wrong!!! no ma’am, no ma’am!!
and your friend–juanyay east?!?!?! LOL wowsers. it’s cute tho, me likey. as to the actual post. i got nothin right now. i’m still replaying b.scott videos in my head while trying to come up with my thesis proposal, so i’m quite distracted. i may be back with a real response… pardon me….
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt, yes indeedy, yes indeedy!
@shri fry rye,
The invitations to the intervention have been extended to the both of you. Please rock your best pink glittery clothes (and hijab, if applicable) and lip gloss.
This has been as message from the “B Free of B Scott” Society.
i will BeFree while i BeScott. now if you’ll excuse me, i have some vids errr uhhh i mean work to tend to
*doing the paw paw*
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt, tell her! why would we wanna be free?
what’s betta than what we got here?
lmao
“Whitney”: No he didnt come up in here with his face looking scruffy like that!?
Me: What? (turns and looks expecting to see a busted goatee razor bumped pork chop sideburns affair) Oh him? Girl please, dude just has a 5 o’clock shadow. Sh*t besides that he looks like he had a rough one. Stop judging
(dude comes to talk to my friend)
Guy: Hey, how are you doing? I noticed you from across the room and I was wondering if i could buy you a drink and talk a little?
“Whitney”: Not with your face looking like that.
ABSOLUTE bs…..didn’t even give the guy a shot…smh…
@ESQuared,
Women who don’t like facial hair on men don’t like men. They like boys.
I kid. I jest. But only slightly so.
@iloVEGrits,
oimahgah i <3 me some facial hair!!!
@tnt,
Uh huh….me too….lol
@tnt,
YES! Facial hair is the bees’ knees!
@iloVEGrits,
Women who don’t like facial hair on men don’t like men. They like boys.
i don’t trust black men without facial hair.
@The Champ,
Except for Obama. That’s that change we can believe in.
@Me fail english?,
he’s hawaiian, so he gets a pass
here’s a stupid one for you guys …
Women with kids of their own, who refuse to date guys with kids. WTF?
@Eff yo couch,
Thats dumb as hell. Some people need to get rotten tomatoes thrown at them
@Eff yo couch,
Oooookay. I used to think this, too. But then a friend of mine, on his Facebook page, opened up this question to his friends. One guy had an explanation that has kind of swayed my opinions.
According to the very eloquent brother:
A woman has two kids and her man has 2…they have a kid together, they then have FIVE kids…that’s a lot of gosh darn kids.
Now, I know a lot of women are not thinking along those lines when they set that “rule”, but it is a very valid point.
@iloVEGrits,
Yeah there’s plenty of valid reasons for someone in any state of parenthood to not want a mate with kids. Just cause you dont have baby-mama/daddy drama doesn’t mean this other person doesn’t. Plus, most kids suck.
@Eff yo couch,
I actually overheard a chick talking about that in Target the other day. I still don’t get it.
@Eff yo couch,
Yeah that one trips me up.
Girls with guts who wont date ppl unless they looking like Damon from Friday After Next
@osyeP,
you need to expound and sh*t. the reference went over my head
@The Champ,
Muscular, toned dude tried to get with Money Mike. Looked like he just got outta prison.
@Me fail english?,
I know some girls like this. Shaped like a stack of hoecakes, but only want the uber-muscular, chiseled men. Come again?
@Nikiloveli,
“a stack of hoecakes”
_DEAD_
@Nikiloveli,
Stack of hoecakes just bout killt me!! *dead*
@osyeP,
You’ve been on Blackplanet haven’t you?
@CPT Callamity,
UGH!!! iRebuke the thought of Blackplanet in the name of the new Millennium and Web 1.0.
@osyeP,
I actually know a lot of overweight people who won’t date someone overweight. It puzzles me to no end but hey…it’s their choice right? I just wonder how it’s working for em.
i’m curious as to why you’d think 2 large ppl should WANT to be together in the 1st place?? it just seems like a lot of work and little pay off (tho i could be wrong). and maybe rubbing rolls is a less than enjoyable experience (it sure sounds unpleasant neway). i mean, who knows??
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Pleasurable – methinks not? I think the reason is that 2 fat people could suffocate each other during the chex!
@YGB
Or make bacon……I kid I kid.
@CreoleInDC,
2 big people dating is fiscally irresponsible in these TET. Think bout the finances of the dates they’d go on
@Luvvie,
That’s not necessarily true. Bad food seems to be cheap. Good food is more expensive and is good to and FOR you.
@CreoleInDC,
On a slightly related note I think it’s total bullshet that I can get bacon, egg and chz on a roll for $2.25 but a Naked smoothie costs $4.75. Total bullshet.
@Me fail english?,
Welcome to my world. We eat about 90% organic. Don’t even try and guess how much I spend on food.
First, on the sidebar.
“Anyway, he’s looking for writers who have a special penchant for uber-ignorance and thought quite a few VSBers might fit the bill.”
Hmm… I wonder who these VSBers are that do ignorance. I frown upon ignorance. Now IGNANCE is different.
Folks oughta check out the group blog I got with my friends called House of IG. http://www.igville.com * (VEG has been delinquent with her posts but I shant call her out. She been busy actually doing stuff) *shameless plug
@Luvvie,
(VEG has been delinquent with her posts but I shant call her out. She been busy actually doing stuff)
by “stuff” you mean “dorian g”, right?
@The Champ,
*Cackles* I mean. Champ, dontcha b talmbout my friend as such!
@Luvvie,
This is good. And I don’t know who “Candace” is but lol @ that letter to her!
@Me fail english?,
Candace is my dedicated eHater who makes it a point to comment on every post I write with “Luvvie, you’re lame”. *side-eye* If you’re gonna eHeckle me. I need ya to come correct.
Jeebus be some hugs for some people when they’re little so they don’t grow up to be bitter broads. But I digress.
YAY! Glad ya like it!
@Me fail english?, Glad you like the letter. I strive for excellence in my prose, especially when dealing with false-hearted angst
@Luvvie,
Drier than Ciara’s diaphragm?!!!
Dearly beloved…
@Nikiloveli,
I’d like to say that the IGs are not responsible for any defs (yes defs) that happen from the reading of our blog. We will just make sure we attend ur funegro wearing matching chinchilla church hats, white gloves and dereon church suits that have sequined collars with light up brooches. We will even come up there and fall to the ground all in your honor.
That is all
@Luvvie,
Girl STOP! Visual’s killin me over hurr!
I was in barbershop this weekend and we were having convo about how our standards of the opposite sex decrease as we age. And one the younger barbers said he can’t date women who stomach looks like Spider Man’s outfit.
@Eff yo couch,
“who stomach looks like Spider Man’s outfit.”
was he referring to stretch marks?
@iloVEGrits,
Yes. That and out of shape females. We were tying to explain that after a certain age most females lose their figures due to having babies and other factors.
I was also saying that there’s nothing wrong with wanting what you want, but you also have to be realistic and keep a open mind about things. Cause on some real shyt us guys grow beer guts too
@Eff yo couch,
I was in barbershop this weekend and we were having convo about how our standards of the opposite sex decrease as we age
i wouldn’t say that they decrease. they just change a bit. some things may get deprioritized, and premium may be placed on others that were overlooked before.
@Eff yo couch,
“who stomach looks like Spider Man’s outfit.”
Damn! You saying women whose stomachs look like the web of oppression aren’t welcome?
Oh, i have a few – but i think don’t think they’re unreasonable…
1. a man who refers to himself in the third person…. no. don’t do it man…
2. a man who wears pointy shoes – we call them BEE (Black Economic Empowerment) shoes here, coz it’s the middle aged, ‘prosperous’ pot bellied guys who’ve struck the Black Economic Empowerment lotto and run out and buy all kinds of horrid clothing that they think are stylish… the pointy shoes in crocodile skin are especially odious.
3. this one in particular grates my tits something chronic – guys with a long pinky fingernail – WHYYYYY?? here, it’s a stereotype that Zulu men are fans of these – why, i do not know. such is the nature of stereotypes. *sigh*
side note – Panama-Papa … does the term ‘snow peas’ not refer to a womans nips? that’s what i thought, anyway…
happy monday everybody!!
@superwoman,
i feel you on the long pinky nail – back home (nigeria) i see mad dudes rocking the one long nail like it’s not a thing, looking like chinedu-scissorhands… very poor look. don’t they know they can maim someone with those things???
@puff,
chinedu-scissorhands….
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! i am so killed at this!!!!! oooooooooh wee!!
@puff,
chinedu-scissorhands…
————————- *flatlined*
guys with a long pinky fingernail – WHYYYYY??
guys with long nails in general instantly turn me off like keri hilson. i can’t do dirty fingernails either. i have the most violent of visceral responses. ecckk gross.
@superwoman,
“this one in particular grates my tits something chronic – guys with a long pinky fingernail – WHYYYYY?? here, it’s a stereotype that Zulu men are fans of these – why, i do not know. such is the nature of stereotypes. *sigh*”
I call this the coke finger.
@superwoman,
1. a man who refers to himself in the third person…. no. don’t do it man…
not even the champ????
@The Champ, only you, champie…only you.
**marvelling at the e-crush i have on the champion-one**
@superwoman,
Don’t get cut.
@The Champ,
“not even the champ????”
no.
Someone told me I ‘talked too scientifically,’ as if I had come into a conversation discussing the anti-life equation or the periodic table.
Although, I can say I did start looking at a nice girl kinda sideways because she had no clue what reparations were…
@maximillian,
“I did start looking at a nice girl kinda sideways because she had no clue what reparations were…”
As you should have.
i get that too, even if i’m talking mundane, ordinary things that are not scientific-y.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
I know, right? It’s like somehow, the way we speak has been mistaken for the antithesis of the Master P song formula:
enunciation + words ≥ 3 syllables = confusion²
Oh, wait…
yes!!! you know it…
anytime i launch into an observation of something (even as simple as why they should have took the backroad instead of the main streets), my friends say “you are such a scientist! you dissect and analyze everything” (read: you THINK about PROCESS information). i thought that was a natural part of living but apparently i was wrong for thinking period.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Simple to you doesn’t necessarily translate to simple to other people.
I think a lot of problems when interacting with other people stem from us as individuals tend to forget that other people don’t think like us.
thing is, most of my friends (very educated, having/getting advanced degrees) who say this about me understand me just fine and aren’t confused or overwhelmed by my words. they just think i talk “science-y” too much when i’m off work and should give it a rest. i just speak what comes to mind, and it coming off as a mini-dissertation is just how i am i guess.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Haha, my mama talks like that. She uses words like lugubrious, ruminate and apropos. I could see if you’re writing, but who the eff talks like dat? Its the weekend and sh!t. Take off the church socks!
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
there with you 99.987%…. except that because of the field I work in people HATE to go to dinner in Philly with me, have sworn off sex and certain foods, and well… I’ve been told my knowledge sharing sucks the joy out of living.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
i think this applies to most professions though. academics tend to use “academic speak” and mannerisms even when they’re not at work. same with lawyers, coaches, teachers, whoever. i think its par for the course with a person immersed in their work.
@maximillian,
That’s an excellent reason to stop speaking. Sometimes I think the “signs” that ppl look out for are BS! (I was watching a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon yesterday) But conversations are severely limited when one party doesn’t seem to know ish. It also makes me think they don’t read or watch anything on TV but VH1.
@Me fail english?,
or BET. Matter fact, on the (dated) myspace page under who I’d like to meet, I wrote “People who aren’t fully programmed by Viacom.”
I never quite made it to 100 friends
1. wears a samurai top knot. yah i’ve brought this one up before but it still stuns me into contemplative shock just by remembering.
2. claims he really wants a nice girl who loves the Lord and has a great soul/spirit and isn’t shallow but continually has a known hoe on his arm or a chick everyone knows only has her physical going for her.
over and out
10-4
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt, roger
1. Can’t dance.If you dance to the words instead of to the music then……..I’m not gonna be able to do it.
2. No sense of humor. If witty repertoire doesn’t float your boat…..do not pass go.
3. Stupid people give me hives……so I can’t do it…..
@BmoreCreative,
“Stupid people give me hives”
T-shirt.
@iloVEGrits,
definitely
@iloVEGrits,
I’d rock it w/ pride
@Luvvie,
“I’d rock it w/ pride”
And pretend my arms are itching when people ask me about it..
A terrible reason not to date someone is “he’s not as funny as [insert asshole ex-boyfriend's name here].” Like that was her only complaint…I thought that was stupid. A good reason…he has a ringback tone over the age of 30…even worse the song is “Lions, Tigers, Bears” by Jazmine Sullivan. SMH
@K.,
I feel some kinda way bout the ringback tone over 30 deal.
I’m 35. You call my phone and you are blessed with the song September by the ones, the onlies, Earth, Wind and FIYAH.
@Cheryl,
lol, even though i’m a big fan of the elements cheryl, hearing a ringback basically ensures no call back, even if its a song i like.
@The Champ,
well how bout this, you let me know when that day is that you are EVER gonna call me, and ill put your number in and make sure you here the standard ole ring ring ring.
@Cheryl,
make it happen
@The Champ,
well just gimme the # and ill program you in.
@K.
I’m with you. For some reason I hate ringback tones….for anyone. I hate calling people with them – they always catches me off guard.
@V Renee,
OMG I so agree..I cant stand calling a grown ass person and I’m greated with either keyshia cole or mary j.
How about he/she is too old? It is well known (well, it is well known inside my social circle) that I find men 40+ … I don’t know how to describe it other than yuck. With that said, I did go out on a date Friday night with a 48 year old. When I met him, I wasn’t aware he was that old. He certainly didn’t look it.
I want his old 48 year old arse now. Hot tamales he’s sexy.
Anywhoo.
How about they are too much of a ho-bag? I have a friend that is easier to lay than … umm … something very easy to lay.
She was just informed that she isn’t “Take home to momma worthy” as told to her by a man she was umm doingimeanseeing. I can’t put up here what her response was.
oh and again, I am crushing and giggling and having nasty thoughts about a 48 year old man. FORTY EIGHT.
(im 35 btw)
Oh and if you are a biter, please start biting yourself rather than other people. We don’t need to be walking around looking like victims and stuff. kthx.
@Cheryl,
I’m 35, too. 48 isn’t too much older to be concerned about in my opinion. Go for yours. Besides older men have been in my experience better relationships. They’ve already figured out what they want and don’t have any of the younger man BS (or at least as much BS).
@luvtheshoes,
i had a great time out with him. great conversation, we laughed. by the end of the date i wanted to jump him, but i remained composed.
i just gotta get past the fact he is 6 years younger than my mother.
OH and hes a bail bondsman, how cool is THAT?
@luvtheshoes,
Besides older men have been in my experience better relationships.
It’s been the case for me as well… I have a thing for older guys.
@Cheryl,
Easier to lay than an area rug?
@WordSmith,
i dont think laying an area rug is nearly as easy as it is to lay her.
@Cheryl,
*hoses Cheryl down with cold water* You aight over there? lol
Easier to lay than the foundation of peace in the Middle East is NOT. No?
@Luvvie,
im thinking about calling him. i dont wanna seem too forward and clingy tho. but i want to see him.
how about ole girl is easier to lay than it is to bleed after being stabbed?
@Cheryl,
how about ole girl is easier to lay than it is to bleed after being stabbed?
we need to sign you up for some analogy courses.
@The Champ,
yes we do. you are smart, whats something way easy to lay?
@Cheryl,
my favorite go-to analogies are ones that are so inane and unintelligible that everyone will figure that it just went over their heads, but not so inane that the point is completely missed. for instance, in this context, i would typed.
“ole girl is easier to lay than a dumptruck full of staples and milk”
if that doesn’t work, you can always throw a random group or person in there, especially one with a nice-sized membership or following:
“ole girl is easier to lay than an aka. especially aka’s named “liz”
see how fun that was?
@The Champ, YOU ARE SO OUT OF LINE!!!!
got me up here loggin in to curse u out. hmph.
punk.
@Champ,
*waiting on Liz to go IN*
@Cheryl,
Wells, Analogy 101. You can always go with the super obvious. Like easy to lay like Lil Kim, Kim Kardashian, a (the)Champ by a Rooster…
Since you’re a beginner, we expect baby steps.
@Cheryl,
Wet concrete.
@Cheryl,
a bag of chips…
groupies at the Ozone awards…
Erykah Badu. Especially if you are a coffee shop rapper…or just rap period.lol
dirty and/or raggedy shoes. my auntie always told me that if a man has dirty shoes then he has dirty cojones. and you know what? i don’t want to find out if she is right about that….[blank stare]
@tnt, LMAO! I have never heard the dirty cajones, but it’s hilarious.
@tnt,
lol…someone obviously knows how to use their edit button
@The Champ,
You caught that too? He-he…
@AkShone,
ahem why yall gotta call ya gurl out and what not
I can’t date…
1. The sales clerk: The guy who enjoys telling you how much he spent on just about everything. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
2. The student: The guy who insists on calling me Ms. Hall. There are some dudes who think that’s sexy. Not.
3. The obviously gay man: I was asked to what I thought was a friendly lunch by what I thought was an openly gay guy. As he talked during the meal I realized he was really treating the outing as a date. I kept thinking, “He must know he’s gay. Maybe he’s trying to change his life.” Luckily I was on the verge of leaving the country so I didn’t have to avoid his phone calls and appear mean.
@Ms. Hall,
lol, number 2 is a habit of mine.
@Ms. Hall,
“1. The sales clerk: The guy who enjoys telling you how much he spent on just about everything. Tacky, tacky, tacky.”
Or even worse…after all that bragging he declares that he doesn’t tip waitors.
@K.,
As a former waitress, this will start an argument and is most certainly a dealbreaker! No, I don’t care if that sounds irrational.
@Me fail english?,
That is not irrational…and it most certainly was a dealbreaker, lol.
@Ms. Hall
3. The obviously gay men piss me off. I just want to smack the sh*t out of them and yell “The gig is up. Everyone knows you’re gay”.
@V Renee,
Yeah, this just makes me sad. In high school, this one dude pretended to have a crush on me and like three of my friends. It was just awkward.
@V Renee,
“The gig is up. Everyone knows you’re gay”
This is coincidentally the title of 50 Cent’s diss track to John Legend. I wont support it. J/L (just lying)
@Luvvie,
Ok I was thinking the same thing about John Legend.
@Luvvie,
What sparked this diss track?
@Voiceofreason,
The diss track was sparked by the time John Legend said 50′s new veneers make him look like a chocolate Bugs Bunny. Or something like that. The backstory isn’t important.*
@Luvvie,
“What sparked this diss track?”
It could have been a bag of Skittles without enough yellow candies knowing 50 Cent. He seems to hate everyone and anything sets him off. I’m so tired of his diss tracks.
i used to have a thing for short guys…not sure what it was…that was circa 1997 though…not really applicable here.
it’s funny, i was just having a convo with a friend of mine about meeting ninjas in the club…i feel some kind of way about it…ironically, it hasn’t stopped me from giving out my freakin number if they seem math-worthy…hmph…
i thought the pinky in the air was just proper etiquette…no??? *thinks about last guy i met…in the club*
oh snap!
@This Just In…disappointed in the Cards…,
it’s funny, i was just having a convo with a friend of mine about meeting ninjas in the club…i feel some kind of way about it…ironically, it hasn’t stopped me from giving out my freakin number if they seem math-worthy…hmph…
i really need someone to breakdown the whole “i dont meet people in the club” thing. i mean, does it really matter where you meet someone as long as you met them? (unless its whole foods, of course)
@The Champ,
I think it just depends on the track record of that person. I can honestly say, I have never had a boyfriend whom I met in the club. They always end up being fools (in the biblical sense of the word). Needless to say, I have extremely low expectations of n words I meet in the club…
But again….that still doesn’t stop me from the math exchange…keep hope alive! ;o)
@The Champ,
I actually met my current bf in the club, and as it turns out, he hates crowds and doesn’t like clubbing. Who knew?
@The Champ,
I think some folks believe that clubs are strictly for fun and that the people there aren’t looking for anything serious.
I’m convinced that if I ever meet a guy a like in a club it’ll be because he’s there for the same reason I’m there. He didn’t feel like staying in that night but he usually doesn’t go out.
@The Champ, for me, it depends. i’ve grown quite tired of the club, and i couldn’t see myself getting too serious with a male that frequents the clubs, especially if he’s a “bottle popper” type dude. but, ironically, i met a fine young lad in the club, we were both there for a mutual friend’s celebration of some sort (just about the only time i will go to the club nowadays)
@A Plus,
lol, the next time i go out, if someone asks, i’m gonna tell em i’m there for ” a mutual friend’s celebration of some sort”
@The Champ
Me too!
@The Champ,
i really need someone to breakdown the whole “i dont meet people in the club” thing
*pulls up chair to wait for that answer as well*
The short thing is true. I once read (I think in the book Blink) that only 14% of the male population is 6′ or taller. That statistically confirms how dumb it is for women to have a 6′ rule.
Some of my friends are the queens of ruling out men for dumb reasons. Here are some examples.
-Ugly last name
-Ugly feet (heard of a pedicure?)
-No car, car not comparable to or better than hers (if he owns property and you can’t find anything else wrong with him, is a car that serious?)
-He pledged Sigma or Iota (this is just dumb and shallow)
-Skin too light (yet again, dumb and shallow)
-Skin too dark (no need to repeat myself)
@Voiceofreason,
-No car,
Now this, may be a valid reason. I’ve “lost” a number or two behind this. I’m generally not trying to have all of the travel fall on me anytime I’d like to see you. I feel like a dude with no car would always be expecting me to pick him up, and that’s just not happening.
@Me fail english?,
I feel like as long as he’s in the process of shopping or saving for one it’s cool (being carless can’t go on for too long). If he’s a good guy chances are that won’t change but the car situation ultimately will. I’d personally hate to miss out on an opportunity to be with the right person over a vehicle. And what about men in NYC? It makes sense to not have a car if you live there.
@Voiceofreason,
“And what about men in NYC? It makes sense to not have a car if you live there.”
I hear you. When I was younger though I feel like every dude on the block was just “saving up” for their v and six months later they were still walking.
As far as the NYC thing, I’ve lived here all my life (except for undergrad) and I still don’t see how people outside of Manhattan don’t need cars. I mean, you can survive here cause transit is 24 hours and most lines run pretty frequently, but grocery shopping, inclement weather and the inconvenience of transferring, makes me happy as hell I got a whip.
@Me fail english?,
Yeah. I lived in Queens for over 3 years and I NEEDED my car.
@Voiceofreason,
I can’t do the no car thing. I’m not about to be chauffeuring some dude around or being obligated to drive every time we go somewhere. Nerp.
agreed.
@K.,
I just feel like if it’s not going to last forever and if you like everything else about him, why rule him out? Maybe I’m different but I’m more likely to rule a guy out because of certain physical characteristics or what he’s lacking in character.
@Voiceofreason,
When I was 20 that was cool. But as I’m approaching 27, dealing w/ guys who don’t have their shyt together is just not an option. There are too many other guys to choose from to settle for that mess.
for me it’s not even that a dude doesn’t have his stuff together if he’s car-less. it’s all about accessibility and convenience. i’ma go-er and would rather not be bothered with relying on other means of transportation (i.e. bus, zipcar, ride from a friend). and it frustrates me slightly to deal with friends who are on foot. can’t even imagine having a boo who can’t ever pick me up or meet me some where if we’re on the go.
i’m spoiled, what can i say?
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
That makes complete sense to me because your rational is not based on materiality. The other day my friend told me she met a guy she liked who’s cool and has his own lucrative business. She knows he can afford a car and he’s getting one in the near future but she still cut him off. I personally couldn’t understand why since he’ll have a car soon enough and they seem to be compatible. Her reasoning was that a guy she’s dating has to have a car that’s comparable to or better than hers. That’s why this whole car thing came to mind in the 1st place.
i feel you. i will say too, though, i CANNOT stand a junkie car– regardless of its make, model or year. my car can get a little cluttered at times (random umbrellas i collect, snow pick/brush, reusable grocery bags, water bottles) but it’s clean. guys who live out of their car or use it as a garbage disposal is just a NO NO for me. and def has potential to be a deal breaker. like one’s home, if i am too scared to breathe or let my skin contact any surfaces, it’s just not going to work out.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt
I’m with you here. And besides if he doesn’t have a car, next thing you know, he’ll be wanting to borrow yours. And that will just not do. I hate being without a car for an hour, even if I don’t have to go anywhere. I don’t even like other people driving my car (which is one of the reason I LOVE driving a stick).
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
I would much rather a guy have a car. I dated a guy without one back in my early 20′s and this negro had the nerve to tell me like 5 months into the relationship that “God blessed you with a car so you need to be willing to SHARE it with me”. No this ninja just didnt….. I’m like well since you aint SHARING my car note..you azz gone be bus’n it.
@ mssmtaylor,
yes girl. car sharing is a NO NO if it’s not a must (we married and can’t afford a rental when a car is in the shop, heaven forbid). i shared a car once with a friend who was in need cuz his car was in the shop (and he returned the favor when my Goldie Honda was gettin repairs) and it was outta order. coordinating 2 very different schedules is annoying and i’d just rather not if given a choice.
@K.,
I’m curious. How does car ownership equate with having ones shyt together? Would you say that someone doesn’t have their shyt together if they don’t own a home either? If not, why does one take priority over the other? And being that a car will always depreciate in value unless it becomes a classic and a home’s value depends on the market, which is more important?
FYI…I completely understand that dating a man with no car would be a complete annoyance and I’d rather not date a carless man, but when you look at the big picture and his pros out weigh his cons, is it really that serious? Sorry about all the questions. I can’t help it. I think it’s a lawyer thing.
@Voiceofreason,
Having a car does not equate having oneself together, however, if a grown azz man doesn’t have a car there tends to be a bunch of other stuff in his life that’s in disarray – in MY experience.
We could go around and around about why this, not that but at some point you have to have standards. I’m smart enough to recognize a man who doesn’t have a car out of convenience (i.e. he lives in center city) vs. one who is just perpetually broke and wants nothing out of life and/or let his driver’s license get suspended being irresponsible, etc. In MY exerience 9.99 times out of ten the carless dudes fall into the latter category – this ain’t NYC, you need wheels to get around. What would end up happening is the carless dude would start depending on me to get around, and I’d be stuck driving everywhere we went (seen it too many times). Nope, not having it.
@Voiceofreason,
Also, why is it that b/c you’re fine w/ dating a carless dude, I have to be? Regardless of the reasons people are allowed to have standards for whatever reason they choose.
@K.,
I guess you neglected to read this part so I’ll type it again…” Sorry about all the questions. I can’t help it. I think it’s a lawyer thing.”
If you didn’t want to answer you didn’t have to.
@Voiceofreason,
“If you didn’t want to answer you didn’t have to.”
I know that, lol. I have no problem clarifying when someone’s experience appears to be totally different from mine.
@K,
While I would be willing to give a guy chance if I ever met one that doesn’t have a car (depending on his circumstances as I mentioned before), and you wouldn’t. I’d be willing to bet you have at least one thing in common with me…you love to have the last word. Lol. Am I right?
@Voiceofreason,
Very well said and I understand all the ladies POV’s right now and if you date a guy without a car that cool, I have to be real with my self, don’t have a car but I really have a good job and live in NYC. I feel it would cost more just to have it parked outside collecting dust, while I go to work, and by the time I I get a car, I’ll be moving away from all materialistic women out there…
@Voiceofreason,
I wholly concur with this list.
My ex’s friend got dumped for not having the right astrological sign. He pretended he broke it off cuz she was so “crazy”, but we later found out he got the ax and when we learned why, well….
…BWHAHAHAHAHA!
@Me fail english?,
I’m curious. What sign?
@Voiceofreason,
Right! LOL! What was the sign!?
@As Is,
Whatever happens in early March. I think it’s a Pisces. He was mad as hell too. ahahaha
@Me fail english?,
Early March is definitely Pisces. That’s my sign and it runs something like Feb 20th to March 20th.
Dang, what was wrong with a Pisces?
@luvtheshoes,
Yeah, Pisces are usually cool. I was thinking it would be one of those crazy or self-absorbed signs like Scorpio, Aries, or Gemini. Lol. I’m ready for all the Scorpios, Aries’, and Geminis to tell me how wrong I am.
Lol. Most of my meaningful male rel’ships are with Aries or Geminis. There’s been a few Sag’s and Libras too but for the most part those first two and nobody outside of those four (that I can think of, which would mean they’re not so important).
my ex was a gemini. and i was convinced he had (2) split personalities that didn’t know each other. i vowed never to date a gemini again.
@luvtheshoes,
Dang, what was wrong with a Pisces?
*cackles loudly*
But for a short answer? Lots.
@Me fail english?
Hey the signs don’t lie…
@V Renee,
Lol. Do those really work? Most of my good friends are all born around the same time. And the guys I date and get along with well are usually born in clusters. Maybe she was onto something…
@Me fail english?
I think so. Well I think they can be a “guideline” to the relationship. They’re always been on point for me.
@V Renee,
Def agree on the “guideline” thing…
I am moving to be where yaw are.
The makeup thing had me thinking about this chick in high school that wore SO MUCH makeup, that during pep rallys, her face would sweat off. “I’mmmm meeeeeltinggggg.” – The Wiz style.
My silly reasons:
1. “He’s too nice.” What the effe is this? I find myself doing this to a guy now. He’s so nice… I just want him to harden up a bit, punch me in my chest (not really punch me, but u know what I mean.)
@Nicki Sunshine,
The makeup thing had me thinking about this chick in high school that wore SO MUCH makeup, that during pep rallys, her face would sweat off. “I’mmmm meeeeeltinggggg.” – The Wiz style.
this reminds me of a time a few years ago when i was waiting for a bus downtown, and a woman asked if she could borrow my cell phone for 30 seconds. she didnt look crazy, and i figured i could catch her easily if she tried to run away, so i obliged. after she was finished with her call, she thanked me, and walked away. i took my phone back, and saw that she had left like a quarter-inch of make-up film on it. i’ve never felt more disgusted, angry, and awestruck before in my life.
@The Champ,
“and saw that she had left like a quarter-inch of make-up film on it”
This is nasty as hell….lol
@The Champ, “took my phone back, and saw that she had left like a quarter-inch of make-up film on it. i’ve never felt more disgusted, angry, and awestruck before in my life.”
That is disgusting.. sort of like picking up someone’s phone and finding ear dirt/wax all over it.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Ugh. My co-worker asked to “borrow” my pencap so he could clean out his ears. So rude!
@Me fail english?,
*throat punch*
That’s a nasty mofo right there.
@miss t-lee,
Word. I was hoping he’d stab his eardrum. Punk.
@Me fail english?, I would kick him in the backs of his knees with pointy stilettos. That is disgusting
I’ve always been cautious of the to-much-makeup- thing, too. I gotta serious thing for Megan Goode, but I’ve always wondered what she looked like without makeup…she just overdoses sometimes and I start to wonder.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Did you say too nice? Imma fight you.
@CreoleInDC, I did.. please knock some sense into me. I am trippin!!!!!
@Nicki Sunshine,
hahahaha girl I used to say the same thing when I was younger.. I think as women mature we tend to lean towards the nice, stable brothas. Hell…I’m hitting 30 and I’m starting to think looks arent even that important. As long as I dont taste throw up in my mouth when I look at him…we straight.
@mssmtaylor, “As long as I dont taste throw up in my mouth when I look at him…we straight.”
LMAO. Exactly!
@Nicki Sunshine,
I just want him to harden up a bit, punch me in my chest (not really punch me, but u know what I mean.)
lol, i don’t. please expound
@The Champ, Every time I hurt myself, he kinda coddles me… (EVERY TIME)
all that soft shat.. I want a lil hardness.
@Nicki Sunshine,
so basically he needs more bran in his diet?
@The Champ, Exactly. LMAO
@Nicki Sunshine,
LOL, thats all just a LOL
Reasons I hear around my way: (these go for both sexes)
1. “He’s the son of a Preacher-so you know he’s a hoe/freak. I can’t date him.”
2. “He’s still in college (undergrad) and I’ve been outta school for (1-4) years! I can’t date him!”
3. “He’s a college athlete. He’s a hoe/freak! I can’t date him!”
4. “He has a baby. If we had a baby, it wouldn’t be his first and it wouldn’t be as exciting to him. I can’t date him.”-I hear this a lot.
5. “She has ugly feet. I can’t date her!”
6. “She doesn’t have good hair. I couldn’t have a baby with her.” -usually no dating mentioned-lol
7. “She dated my boy in elementary school. I can’t talk to her!”-lol, you’d be surprised how much I hear this one!
If I come up with anymore, I’ll be back!
Have a blessed one, VSB!
@As Is,
7. “She dated my boy in elementary school. I can’t talk to her!”-lol, you’d be surprised how much I hear this one!
Lol. One of my sisters met a really cool, cute guy in her office building. They went on a couple of dates, seemed to really like each other until…SCREEEEEECH! Turns out he kissed (pecked) another one of my sisters on the lips (gasp!) back in the seventh grade. She never answered the phone for him again!
She also dumped a guy for farting on a date. Although I don’t think he did it on purpose and they’d known each other for years by then. Hahaha!
@As Is, damn marcus graham for making feet such a big issue! dudes, seriously, if a girl got it goin on but her feet aren’t perfect, you would next her? some things we can’t help, some ish is heriditary (sp). and i took ten years of dance (ballet, tap, jazz, and toe), that is hell on the feet!! my feet aren’t busted, but they’re nowhere near perfect either.
@A Plus
I know right. People act like they’re about to be sucking toes all willy nilly……
Feet carry you around. Even with proper maintenance, depending on the path one has taken, they may have some wear and tear. But sh*t they gave a tough job.
@A Plus,
I am the guilty party. I have a thing against feet. I have witnessed maybe 2 pair of nice feet in my life. Mine are not even on the list. I do not like feet. Can’t do it. She gotta get some weekly pedi’s, then it’s still likely a no-go. I would rather I not see them…
@As Is, 2. “He’s still in college (undergrad) and I’ve been outta school for (1-4) years! I can’t date him!”
now this one, i can dig. i mean, if i just graduated and he’s a senior, then no biggie. but if i’ve been out of school for 4 years and he’s still an undergrad…not gonna happen, unless he was just an amazingly super duper mature dude. just wouldn’t work. although, i don’t really date younger guys anyway, so i guess that’s my silly thing.
@A Plus,
I’m a girl and I have pretty cool looking toes-lol.
And what I see with the guy in college comment, they might be the same age as the girl, but just a “non-traditional” student.
@As Is,
I think #2 and #4 are very valid reasons.
But what do I know?
I just want to say must people dont date guys who are ALWAYS In the club..and I believe that is a good criteria….I agree you shouldnt diss a dude who goes from tme to time and true you did meet him while YOU were there but if that ninja know everybody in the club? he on the club website in all the pic and he doesnt work for the club? Leave him be lawd..leave him be…..
@shay_d_lady,
And sometimes even when they do work in the club, run! My boys are promoters and every week they got girls side-eyeing each other cause their all in every woman’s face talking bout “its just business”. I wish a dude would tell me some stupidness like that…*sharpens knives*
@Me fail english?,
Insecure?
@Dorian G.,
About what? Who?
@Me fail english?,
Me fail english? {March 30th, 2009 at 10:30 am}
I wish a dude would tell me some stupidness like that…*sharpens knives*
@Dorian G.,
Yep. I can also see what I wrote and when I wrote it. Thanks.
And the answer to your question is “no”.
@Me fail english?,
LOL glad we cleared that up.
Just a quick jump-in…warms my heart to read the Love Actually mention…love that movie!
I’ll check back in later!
@Bailey,
Ditto. Love that movie
Rocks faux for 84% of the time. Especially when it changes often.
Ain’t got the #’s. I need to quit this shyt here. Curse past pain and ocd.
not that kind of smart.
@WuDaMan,
I meant faux hair.
+ stubby fingers
@WuDaMan,
has a laundry list of don’t eats.
@WuDaMan,
Picky eaters get on my nerves too. I love to eat and cook and I guess that’s how drinkers feel about drinking alone. Its more fun when you can share the experience.
What’s worse is alot of ppl have never even tried the stuff they swear against
@WuDaMan,
That is NOT stupid at all. Very valid reason IMO…
I can’t be with someone who is afraid to experience things. Nope.
@WuDaMan,
If she can’t do the stanky leg, squirrel, ho, rack daddy, footwork.
@WuDaMan,
Rack daddy? Ho? I’ve never heard of these dances so I guess I’m out. Lol.
@Voiceofreason,
I can do the ricky bobby with the best of them.
Don’t hate…lol
Girl, you’ve never heard of the rack daddy?
Step you game up…hee-hee!!!
@miss t-lee,
I’ve never been one to keep up with new dances. Especially if they require a lot of foot movement. I have rhythm but I can’t move my feet to save my life (I’m a hip and shoulder girl)! But no man, woman, or child can out two-step me. Lol.
@Voiceofreason,
Gotcha chick.
The two step is what’s up when you’re rhythmically challenged.
@miss t-lee,
Let’s get one thing straight, I am NOT rhythmically challenged. Lol. I just can’t do a bunch of crazy ish with my feet. For example, I can do the perculator because depending on what version you do it’s all shoulder. You clearly need rhythm for that dance.
@Voiceofreason
Why would doing the perculator even cross your mind? Do people still do that?????
Jesus be a dance class….
@Voiceofreason,
While stuff is getting straitened. These ain’t necissarily stuff that I concider deal breakers n the like. Just stuff that has gone down in my vacinity.
@Voiceofreason,
Jesus be a dance class….
…instructed by laurie ann “boom-cat!!”gibson
@Voiceofreason,
I stand corrected…lol
I don’t wanna be calling you out for not having rhythm when you have some.
@V Renee,
“Why would doing the perculator even cross your mind? Do people still do that?????”
It was to provide an example of how one can have rhythm without having the ability to use ones feet.
And I don’t know why half the ish I think about crosses my mind. Sometimes I say I have “pothead thoughts” b/c even though I’ve never been a smoker, I think like one from time to time.
@WuDaMan,
Some part of the thriller dance routine.
@WuDaMan,
I can say with all confidence, satisfaction and smugness that I’ve never done the Stanky Legg and know not what the Squirrel, ho and rack daddy are. In fact, Wu, I not so silently judge you and give you major side-eye for knowin what they are. o_0
Ugh. All those dances sound like vaginitis. Wu, if you meet a girl doing them, run!
@Me fail english?,
*dead* You are officially a member of the VSB Corner. You just bout slayed me. You will not refer to the dances as inflammations of the love pocket. Bwahahahaha!
@Luvvie,
Well you can just bow down and kiss my (della rese said it best in Harlem Nights). for being traveled in America @ least and stuff or something. The squirrel is from tampa. The ho is early 90s. Rack daddy is Texas some version o mah duggie. Yo I can’t even do all these dances but I know em when I see em.
I hate coming in at like 11am and then being roughly 863 comments deep smh.
Yo I know Teedra gonna flood U street with that skinny boho goodness, you know I’m in there.
@Dorian G.,
“skinny boho goodness”
this was actually the original name of the “gap” until they figured it would look too crowded on a t-shirt
@Dorian G.,
I’m away at school…and missing the dmv something serious…I’m so sorry I’m gonna miss her.
I dunno how dumb or outta pocket these may seem but they definitely do/will create raised eyebrow complex for me…
1. Their apt. decor still looks like it would have when they were in college, except they ain’t in college. I dated some dude who was 39, went over to his place and it was raggard. Mismatched everything…tattered carpet, million year old looking sofa…no coffee table…just sad. I was like oh hell naw…deuces.
2. I don’t know why I feel like there is something odd about a person not knowing about the popular existence of blog sites, or having no interest in social sites like facebook, myspace etc. but they know the hell outta sites like blackplanet, migente etc. i don’t know why it bothers me…
3. also, for me…it’s not a deal breaker but it’s definitely something that makes me get to thinking…pple that never have lived anywhere other than where they grew up…I feel like they have somehow missed out on a very important life experience…
3. Effed up haircuts-i.e. mullets, long ponytails, combovers etc. this just stupid stuff here…
i feel you on #1. but for me it’s more upkeep than actual decor (i can fix that). i’m very particular about the space i live in so if i can’t even imagine spending more than 30sec in his crib without wanting to don a HAZMAT suit, it’s not gonna work out.
@maria,
I can understand your #3…
the stupidest deal-breaker i’ve heard (repeatedly) is the ““He’s a college athlete. He’s a hoe/freak! I can’t date him!” line that “as is” mentioned above. ironically, i’ve heard this phrase from women i’ve dated.
personally, and i dont know if this applies to the topic, but sometimes certain qualities can end up as deal-breakers just because you’ve never actually dealt with them. for instance, its pure coincidence that ive never dated a women with kids or without a college degree. this isn’t to say that i’d definitely be opposed to either, but it would just be a bit out of my comfort level
@The Champ, “sometimes certain qualities can end up as deal-breakers just because you’ve never actually dealt with them”
Good point. I’ve dated guys that I never thought that I would because I had stereotypes about certain guys (fraternity guys, occupations, etc.). Now I’m talking to a guy who was in the military and I never ever thought that I would do that because it was always a deal breaker for me.
@The Champ,
I dated one pro-athlete and it’s the reason I never dated another. LOL!
I just cant date men who wear sandals. If you are under 40 and from the united states and wear sandals please rethink your whole life.
@sxy scientist,
Agreed.
@sxy scientist, does dude get a pass if its a tropical environment, on vacation, or has on the crucial linen suit?
What say you?
@ESQuared, there are options to the mandal. I have gone to great lengths to talk my dad out of them.But the absolute worse is the square toe sling back half shoe half sandal. WTF is that?
Vacation is that thin line…i mean you have to search pretty hard for a mandal thats not gonna make you look like a douche to the female population.
@sxy scientist,
“I just cant date men who wear sandals”
I guess aint no African men in ur future. lol. African men love showing off they big toe in some mandals.
@Luvvie,
yup. catch me in the summer w/ tshirt, jeans and sandals….I rep Nigeria!!!
never did understand the sandal hate…grew up in the tropics so ish was the norm as a kid, so years older when the summer hits …….watch out.
shiiiieeet I ‘ve done shows in my sandals…
@BmoreCreative,
LOL! Naija men and sandals. Some of the sandals are really nice though so I aint hating. Just as long as ur toenails arent looking like Wolverine’s claws, you’re good.
@Luvvie, I give all non north american men a few points in the sandal department. Its just something about a man trying to be cool and has on a pair of Air Moses’.
@Luvvie,
African men love showing off they big toe in some mandals.
You can say that again…
But I wonder though, what’s the alternative in the summer if the guys are not allowed to wear sandals?
@sxy scientist,
Pretty much all of my African American friends have said the same thing, but my family is from JA so I’m accustomed to seeing men in sandals. I was born in the states, so…it’s odd to me to see guys from the US in sandals, just because I know how opposed a lot of young (teens-20s) Black men are to them. Guys of Caribbean, African descent, etc. descent get a complete pass.
I’m funny like that.
some pretty RUDE reasons NOT to date some one…
a) he’s a stalker: all his time/energy is in loving you, girl. no need for Brinks or neighborhood watch–he’s got you covered. invasion of privacy is a small sacrifice for security. accept the challenge.
II) he’s an up & coming rapper: he can put you in his youtube/myspace videos! sure, you won’t make a dime and the site’ll only get about 34 hits, but he’ll at the very least entertain at family functions when he gets served in a freestyle battle w/ your 7yo cousin. laughter is the best medicine for even the rockiest of relationships.
C) he wears skinny jeans: if you’re the same size, you can borrow them! his fashion fwd taste in apparel may also increase the likelihood he runs into Kanye or Neyo while shopping– a plus if you a video girl or he a rapper (see II). win-wins here.
4) he has an STD/STI: most are curable or at least treatable. condoms and antibiotics are your friend. low on cash (TET’d)? go to the nearest scrip club, make that booty bounce, and take the dolla billz to CVS.
e) he smells like Sex Panther by Odeon: i heard the scent of a used diaper filled with indian food is an aphrodisiac. or is that just a rumor?
and lastly…
iv) he lives with his mama: ladies, we’re in a recession!! since he’s not payin rent he has more money to spend on you by stimulating the economy (everyone benefits). you don’t have to nag him, his mama’s on it. plus there’s home-cooked breakfasts when you stay over and mama can press your sweated out hair before work. again, only win-wins.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
lol@ the sequencing
I’d add
7th – Lacks employment. That’s just more time for love.
see?? no yo ish is comin out!
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
LMBAO!!!! I gotta get this on DVD
finally got it on dvd this weekend. i can’t believe i waited so long. ohmahgoodness that movie has quotes for DAYS!!
“remember that girl i met at the emergency room?? baby got her stiches out!”
“he didn’t marry me for my cooking”
“thank you for your interpretation”
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt, lol @ “he smells like “Sex Panther” by Odeon” for subtle movie reference and a funny one at that you get massive points.
Also for that…I may be in love with you now. Lol
score!!
@ESQuared,
60% of the time it works every time…
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt, LMAO stop stop stop
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Gemmie, you have blinded me wit you IGnance…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Gemmie, you have blinded me wit yo IGnance…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
You STOOPID for this whole thing. LOL
Reasons i’ve heard from men and women why they would not date somone
1) too dark. it seems like for a lot a dudes no matter how old they get dark skinned girls never get play by default.
2) You don’t want a hoodrat (which is funny b/c I hear this from people that have the same class as a hoodrat)
3) He has to be educated (which is funny coming from women that don’t read and are not informed)
4) He has to be established (while you don’t have a pot to piss in)
5) He has to look like Shemar Moore, Ginuwine, etc.
6) She wears a weave
@Humble_One,
you know, i think one day we need to get a working definition of a hoodrat just so everyone’s on the same page
@Humble_One,
5) He has to look like Shemar Moore, Ginuwine, etc.
Ewwww. Really? lol
@miss t-lee,
Haha. I was just thinking that too. They can have those dudes!
@Me fail english?,
Yes ma’am.
They some pretty mf’ers anyway….lol
@miss t-lee,
That’s exactly what I was thinking… Shemar Moore and Ginuwine really? Ewwwwwwwww.
@Humble_One,
A pot to piss in and that window to throw it out is part of a boarded up shack. For shame.
@Humble_One,
I agree with #1. Even if the guy won’t admit it b/c he knows it’s wrong. All you have to do is look at the women he dates and says he’s attracted to.
I didn’t date guys who had kids, who were overweight, who were poor, who had suck azz jobs, who lived in the hood, who lived with their mother, whose mother lived with them, who didn’t have a good relationship with their mother, who had their own business that they never did an actual business plan for, who had any weird smells, who put anything chemical related in their hair, who wore earrings, who wore any jewelry other than a watch and cuff links, who made smacking sounds when they ate, whose nails looked like they spent too much time doing them, whose car was junky on the inside, who smoked, who drank a lot, who said they’d never had a girlfriend before…
Sorry…need to take a break. Cramp in my fingers. Just really want to say that there is nothing with having your own standards and your own reasons you don’t want to date anyone. It’s YOUR life no matter what and you have to be happy with doing YOU.
Luv that Gospel according to Creole. There’s truth in that good boo.
“who lived with their mother, whose mother lived with them,”
But why did my old roomie try to hook me up with some fool who told me, regarding his baby mama
“NO! She live with me!” As if that changes everything! I was just dumbfounded, couldn’t even say nothin’. I just finished my wings and never picked up the phone again.
@Me fail english?,
I hope you drew a long girth between you and that old roomie. Just…EW!
@CreoleInDC,
I have a long history of dealing with selfish ass wing(wo)men. smh.
@CreoleInDC,
Sorry…need to take a break. Cramp in my fingers
i had a super-witty snark ready to submit until i re-read and realized you typed “cramp” instead of “champ”, despite the fact that i have no idea what “champ in my fingers” would have even meant
@The Champ,
I should have just put it all out there and let yall know that I never dated blue collar guys either cuz I didn’t feel like being picked on and yet…I get picked on N E WAY! I can’t win over here.
I didn’t date guys who were blue collar either and the first time I let someone guilt me into changing that it went downhill…FAST. For me…it would NEVER be something that would work out. It’s unnatural.
You may now TRY and make me feel bad about this personal rule. It won’t work. Trust me.
@CreoleInDC,
You may now TRY and make me feel bad about this personal rule. It won’t work. Trust me.
jesus was a carpenter. you wouldnt have dated jesus????
@The Champ,
Living Waters Life faith 52nd and Haveford Penacostal Apastolic Tabernacle.
LOL
@The Champ,
He also wore sandals and liked church. I don’t think Jesus would be getting much play on these boards.
@Me fail english?,
Jesus hated church.
psst…someone skipped Sunday School. I’mma tell.
lol. Girl I’m Catholic, our Fathers have a hard enough time admitting he was Jewish, much less that Church didn’t exist until after his time.
@The Champ,
Dang! These VSSes are tough. Even Christ aint good enuff??? Yeah he wore Air Foot Voyages, but you know, He saved humanity and ERRthang and folks cant e’en look past that.
@Luvvie,
“Air Foot Voyages”
LMAO!! Yeah Christ is just outta my league. Way too deep for me.
@The Champ,
i’m not at ALL interested in courting or knocking boots with the likes of my Lord and Savior. we homies but we wouldnta been on some ho-ish together. no sir. that’s just nasty.
@The Champ,
Barack Obama smokes…wouldn’t have dated him either and I love me some Jesus AND Obama!
YES LAWD! SAY IT AGAIN!
Oh yeah…how could I forget Holy Rollers. Nerp…couldn’t EVER date the dude who was all holy-ish and in church all the time during the week. Sunday…cool…Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night too? Naw playa…I ain’tcha type.
@CreoleInDC,
I dated a “Holly Roller”. OMG he had the best body and he was a freak 4 sho. He told me “pastors kids are the freakiest” indeed they are…indeed my friends.
@mssmtaylor, i dated the pastors son for a while. the negro was soooo nasty i used to wince when he walked into church cuz i knew the floor was gonna open up and swallow him.
@sxy scientist,
BWUAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAA!)
@sxy scientist,
***DEAD***
that is hilarious and true at the same time. I briefly dated a pastor’s son… I now refer to him as “the manhoe” and will literally walk in the opposite direction or leave a room if I see him cause I don’t want to get accidentally struck by lightening or anything…
As a preacher’s kid myself my theory about why we are so crazy is that from jump everyone expects you to be as “holy” as your parents are and the natural reaction to that is to do the exact opposite… or at least this is the way I rationalise some of my crazier moments…
@CreoleInDC,
“Just really want to say that there is nothing with having your own standards and your own reasons you don’t want to date anyone. It’s YOUR life no matter what and you have to be happy with doing YOU.”
Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with having standards, but it makes me laugh when women have a ridiculously long list of standards (not saying yours is) and then can’t understand why they’re alone. Especially when they don’t meet the qualifications they expect a man to meet.
@Voiceofreason,
Good thing I’m not alone or I may have taken this to mean you were talking about me huh? ROFL!
When I was dating I expected the same of men that I would think they expected from me at the same level of expectation.
The problem with some folks’ lists is that they are scraps and wanna act like they are the finest cut available. Um…Imma need you to be realistic and stay in your lane. Then…all will be well.
@CreoleInDC,
Nooooooo. I wasn’t talking about you. I was actually thinking of an episode of Oprah I saw the other day. These women were talking about all the things they want in a man. Their lists were out of control and they had the nerve to ask why they’re alone.
A woman who profanely curses 4 no reason. Can’t do it. I can understand if she’s legitimately upset about something…fine.
But if she’s droppin F bombs and MF’s every two words likes Katt Williams in concert, she gets tha eviction notice. Major turnoff.
My mom always told me that excessive profanity is a sign of limited vocabulary and I guess it stuck.
*thinking it’s a good thing i gave up cursing for Lent and let Jesus take the wheel of my outta control tongue*
heyyyyyy e-boo! missed you
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
miss ya too babygurl..been in lurk mode mostly. Crazy on tha j-o-b. I’ll make sure I keep my car xtra clean 4 you when we ride around H-town though. lol.
@Tx10inch,
And again… when is the GD H-Town happy hour? Am I going to have to take this upon myself?
@Nikiloveli,
Yeah I think ya’ll should make that happen…sometime around the weekend of 4/24 or so….
@miss t-lee,
the weekend of 4/24
I approve of this date…
(By the way, when is the relays? Next week-end?)
@ Sula
Relays are this weekend.
@Nikiloveli,
I will be down for it… Although, it’s gon be like the 4-5 of us, it’s still worth it.
@Nikiloveli,
Damn, ya boy wish he could but I won’t be back in town till June or so. But we all can def get together 4 something. ..
I am unfortunately guilty of having of a long list.
1. He is too short.
-I stand proudly at 6 feet tall. Unfortunately that means men under 5 ’11 need not apply. I am glad that you have the confidence to approach me. Sometimes these men have more manners than most, but something about a man who see’s me as his Kimora, turns me off.
2. He has no style
- If a man doesn’t care about what image he puts out, its kind of concerning. I do realize that this is very shallow so give me time to work on it.
3. He curses too much
-I don’t mind the occasional curse word but damn, can we expand our vocabulary.
These are some of the ones that come to mind first because they all arose last night during a convverstaion with a new friend.
Oh and I hate the club one but I used to be guilty til I realized, hey I’m great and I’m in a club too!
Wait is this slowly turning into another deal-breakers post???
I swear y’all have a talent.
@Dorian G.
LMAO. I do believe so.
@Dorian G.,
Pretty much.
Deal breaker comments are to VSB as Bullets are to 50′s teeth. There’s some kinda magnetic attraction to both
@Luvvie,
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
@Dorian G.,
As soon as I read this entry I knew folks would turn it in to “Things I Won’t Tolerate from a Ni99a” post. It’s like it’s inherent for us (human beings) to talk about the things we won’t accept. It’s almost as if the ego wants to show how powerful it is. If we all made lists of the foolishness we’ve tolerated in the past and the foolishness some of us might be currently dealing with (but are just embarassed to admit) some of our lists of requirements would look silly when comparing the two.
@Voiceofreason,
I like dealbreaker comments because it makes me feel like a big man.
(smh@ me not even remembering where that’s from)
@Dorian G.,
I was silently keeping count. I had my over/under at 25. I think its somewhere around 20 ‘deal breaker’ comments.
@Dorian G.,
But isn’t the subject about people’s “stupid” dealbreakers?
Oh and I forgot. I can’t date someone I meet online (Which is why I dn’t give out my info online.) I am not on facebook to make new friends, I’m there to keep in contact with old ones.
Sorry boo
The stupidest reason I didn’t date a guy: He didn’t know who Bambi was. I mean I can understand cultural differences and all, but come on, Bambi is universal!
Ok, I recognize it was lame but based on what I knew of him he SHOULD have known who Bambi was.
. There.
Is tomorrow yall’s anniversary? Should I bake a cake and sh*t? Maybe play some Tony Toni Tone?
I think it is, so Ima be the first and say Happy Anniversary!!
Dude. I’m over here SICK that I won’t be there for that Blu & Exile show; Teadra Moses is nice also, she needs to blow like 5 yrs ago. You gonna have to get somebody to reschedule them circa late April-May-ish.
I almost cut someone short on the first date because her laugh was annoying. I’m glad I didn’t, because we ended up falling in love and being together for 3 years.
I will date a man with bad teeth or a skin condition if he’s got an advanced degree and a nice salary.
oooooh noooo boo boo. if he educated and making money, there’s NO excuse for him not to get down with proactive and some veneers. no ma’am.
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Word. He’d have a better excuse for that if he was poor with no benefits.
and woo-hoo ‘NOVA! (sorry) I’m going to Detroit!!
@Gem Sad 4 Pitt,
Word. He’d have a better excuse for that if he was poor with no benefits.
and woo-hoo ‘NOVA! (sorry) I’m going to Detroit!!
@Me fail english?,
and woo-hoo ‘NOVA! (sorry) I’m going to Detroit!!
eff you.
@Me fail english?,
Boooooooooo NOVA. Everyone where I am has Nova fever of course…but I had to ride w/ my Alma Mater.
@The Champ,
Awww. Exhibit A that I spend too much time on here: I actually thought of VSB as I was watching the game. Good hustle and sh!t.
@The Champ,
Go CATS!
Word.
i mean, some things you just gotta prioritize, even if you’s po’. the janitor in my building got his teefs lookin RIGHT. took that holiday bonus and BAM–pearly whites.
@K.,
I take it you’re in SE PA or somewhere thereabouts. Haha, those sports fans are off the meter!
@Me fail english?,
yup, in Phila.
@ K.
you in the Illadelph too?? Aw shyt son!
My mom won’t SHUT HER MOUTH about Nova…. being its her alma mater and all… meanwhile my school was a ONE and DONE. But that is to be expected. Bball is not our forte, so how we ended up in the Tourney 2 years in a row is beyond me.