you know, once you get past finding, f*cking, falling, and falling out, there really isn’t much else to say in regards to relationships. because of this, i have to give kudos to the entire vsb team for scratching and clawing our way to 300 entries (293 different topics and seven champ repeats) and the 100,000 comments accompanying them. good sh*t and sh*t
yet, despite the fact that we’re occasionally hurting for ideas, there are a few topics we wouldn’t touch with ann coulter’s d*ck. so, without further ado, here’s the top eight lists you’ll probably never see on vsb.
1. “snizzle the snizzle”: the top 10 ways to woo a white woman download the nights in rodan
***although the list would begin and end at “show her your wang”, you’ll probably never see this from us, since, you know, we actually enjoy not receiving anymore hate mail from sister t***
2. “saks fifth b*tches”: eight great reasons why we absolutely love pretentious women
3. “circus crotch”: the seven most family-friendly std’s
***you’ll have to check out luvvies blog for this one***
download friday the 13th online 4. “co-sign deez”: five sure-fire ways to ruin her credit
5. “stacking the deck”: six reasons why spreading your seed indiscriminately rocks! download lady in the water dvd
***only if we let santonio holmes guest blog that day***
6.” garden deez…please!”: the ten bangingest black women from new jersey
***although it would be fun making a list with nothing but negative numbers***
7. “brooks was here”: the top five reasons why prison aint really all that bad
8. “full metal jacket”: the seven most “gay, but not really that gay” acts for men who aren’t really gay yet but are forced to do one gay act because of a bet they lost during the finals
people of vsb.com, the floor is yours. what are the topics you’d most and least like to see on vsb? we’re listening and sh*t.
—the champ
Related posts:
{ 352 comments… read them below or add one }
“2. the seven most family-friendly std’s
you’ll have to check out luvvies blog for that one”
Champie, iHate u w/ the intensity of the burning sensation u feel when u pee. “It burns! It burns” face *ss. I REALLY does!!!
@Luvvie,
Champie, iHate u w/ the intensity of the burning sensation u feel when u pee
and whose fault is that??? thats the first and last time i go to a chicago rodeo
awww… low blow at my dear luvvie… lmao!
@ladebelle,
she can take it
have you guys already done like a “he is that into you: a woman’s guide to reading male signals”?
@ladebelle, Good one!
@ladebelle, I like this idea.
@ladebelle,
we have. i can’t find the exact entry, but i do know that one of us wrote about “time” being the single determining factor. basically, if a guy is into you, he’ll do whatever it takes to be around you. this includes him breaking already existing plans
@The Champ,
Is this one it:
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/the-compass-vsb-guide-to-what-men-really-mean-when-theyre-talking-to-you/
@Ms. T,
nah. lol, this was actually a semi-serious entry
@The Champ,
they all are semi-serious entries lol
@ladebelle, yes. we have.
@Panama Jackson,
i need to read this entry now!
@Blue Skyez, i’m trying to find it…its’ from way back…early on the in the VSB game.
Congrats on post 300!! Hot diggity-dog!
But what the deal is, Champale? You’re tardy with the post again. – I mean, are you running VSB on CP time now or what?
You know us VSB vampires need our fix before bedtime, and you WOULD WANT to accommodate us, lest we should fly out to the Burgh in the middle of the night and bite yo ass! (unbeknowst to yourself, of course, lol)
Ok, on to the topic…
I’d most like to see reasons why dudes (platonic friend dudes) start acting shady if they think (even if you don’t) you have a thing for them. Those answers have eluded me for too many years.
I’d never like to see a list about the “Top Ten Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex.” Reason being: Any reason is a flat out lie – I don’t care how much Godiva paid you to say it.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread, I don’t know whether I could come up with 10 reasons but I have to say that there have been times when I wanted chocolate more than I wanted sex so I might have to disagree with that last statement….maybe I should write that on my blog…..
@klysha,
Oh it’s ok to want it more cause it tastes good, but it’s not BETTER than sex by any means. But wait, how should I know, anyway? I’m a virgin!
*batting eyelashes and wearing a fake halo*
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“But wait, how should I know, anyway? I’m a virgin!”
omg, you too! *high five* Yay!
@Blue Skyez, and RedBeanz…
boffa y’alls need a PLETHORA of more people. I’d start with the standing army of the People’s Republic of China…
@blackberry molasses bailing on a boring conference session,
Bye hater!
@Blue Skyez,
“omg, you too! *high five* Yay!”
Uh oh. It appears that I may have misrepresented myself.
See? I’m wearing a fake halo. Sorry Girl, but I can still give you half of a high five!
*2.5 up top*!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
*2.5 up top*!
That’s called the “Uncle Eddie Salute”
It works best if the fingers used are the middle, thumb and pinky.
That way you can make vulgar expressions to both shine someone on AND almost pull off a full fledged “Shocker”.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
But what the deal is, Champale? You’re tardy with the post again. – I mean, are you running VSB on CP time now or what?
cp deez.
@The Champ,
“cp deez”
Champale, you’re stale. Hey that rhymed! Damn – I’m a poet, sippin’ Moet. I made my own self chuckle, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
“Damn – I’m a poet, sippin’ Moet.”
To the Sat Down Corner!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
LOLOL!
Please stop!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
lol smh
Champ, why must you do luvvie like that, lol
@JamaicanGirl,
if i had a dollar…
@The Champ,
“if i had a dollar…”
But alas, you don’t.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
Lists that we’ll prolly never see on this here land of the VerySmartBrothas (and Sistas):
1. Is Panama REALLY a 3? Count the ways.
b. Can Champ REALLY deez DEEZ, or is it a rumor? Pics or it didn’t happen
3a. Where can one go to find an albino roach?
4d. Proof that purple squirrels exist
IV. A guide to understanding WuDaMan
I should be back with more later.
@Luvvie,
“1. Is Panama REALLY a 3? Count the ways.”
this post must also come w/ pics…pterodactyl ot not!
“IV. A guide to understanding WuDaMan”
I’m crying tears right now…
@GOODENess,
And the day I see a guide to understanding WuDaMan, I’d cry phoenix blood.
I heart you, Wu!!!
@Luvvie, with a translation by 8th Wonder
@Luvvie,
“IV. A guide to understanding WuDaMan”
*sighs* Get outta my head, Thuggie! I mean I love me some Wu, but got damn – ebonics can’t even hold a half-melted candle to his speech patterns.
@Luvvie,
Let’s add. Sexy Spec’s dance off challenge. Friend or foe?
@Nola Darling, LMAO
@Luvvie,
Btw, “If roaches had faces, would they look just like Lil Wayne?” is hilarious.
@An Island,
I truly believe they would look JUST like Weezy
@Thuggie Luvvie,
dam choked on my water cant drink and laugh
@Luvvie, 1. Is Panama REALLY a 3? Count the ways.
LOL. good one. and if you don’t know, you’ll never know…that is until you see me in person, in which case, you then will know…which means, at the VSB BBQ…the truth shall set y’all free.
@Luvvie,
“IV. A guide to understanding WuDaMan”
Yeah, for real. We need a Mensa member to uncode his ish.
@Cheekie,
I always feel so slow when I read his posts. Good to hear he confuses other folks too!
@Luvvie,
“1. Is Panama REALLY a 3? Count the ways.”
Why did I immediately think of Mr. Owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop ads?
“Uh-1, Uh-2, Uh-3… *crunch* Tha-rhee.”
@Beez,
HAHA! Mr. Owl is gangsta. I love how he’s all, “Let’s find out”.
And if Panama is truly a 3? The world may never know.
@Beez,
LMAO @ “Uh-1, Uh-2, Uh-3… *crunch* Tha-rhee.” That owl was startling to me
@Beez, okay. that kilt me.
“circus crotch: the seven most family-friendly std’s
you’ll have to check out luvvies blog for that one”
You were wrong for that lol….
@Leila,
me or luvvie?
Things men wish they could say without being labeled as a gay fish.
Could a 304 really become a housewife?
Is 30 the new 20?
Are Plies and Soldier Boy the new face of hip hop?
@Nola Darling,
“Are Plies and Soldier Boy the new face of hip hop?”
Does that sound like something a gay fish would say, or more like something a musically challenged 12 year old would say?
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
I’m going to pick “something a musically challenged 12 year old would say” . Final answer.
@Nola Darling,
LMAO
I hear ya! But please explain why that damn Soulja Boy song is stuck in my head now – “Go Head” *sighs* I hate that lil bwoi – fa real, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Turn my swagg on enuff said.
Now watch me yewlllll.
@Nola Darling,
my baby mama was at my sons graduation talkin bout lemme turn my swag down. I was so dam embarassed that was the longest 2hrs of my life I hate that broad. Im like its to early for this tom-foolery thas why i left yo a$$ 5 years ago. Any grown person that actually likes Soulja Boy has issues im sorry had to say it. He Owns the 21 and under folks.
“my baby mama was at my sons graduation talkin bout lemme turn my swag down. I was so dam embarassed that was the longest 2hrs of my life I hate that broad”
damn, lol. tell us how you really feel
@Nola Darling,
“Are Plies and Soldier Boy the new face of hip hop?”
…I think “The Source” magazine already beat you to it.
@AkShone, remember when VIBE had folks like Craig David and Blu Cantrell on a cover calling them the new face of R&B back in 2002. Everytime one of these mags start proclaiming folks the next big thing based on a couple of singles and a slick video, I think of that cover:
http://www.vibe.com/galleries/2008/07/30/vibe_covers_2002/index.html?img=2&gid=13618&
@T. Troy Stewart, so basically what you’re saying is that they were wrong. in fact, i find it interesting that that for real for real the only still relevant “neo-soul” cats are the one’s it really started with, erykah badu, maxwell, and d’angelo (if he ever releases another damn album).
i would have included musiq but his last albums sucks more d*ck than pinky.
jilly from philly and india.arie could also be considered but they get increasingly more boring with each musical outing.
@Panama Jackson, I thought they were too quick to start laying the praise on a couple of them for sure. I had a love/hate thing with the term “neo-soul” and other terms like “traditional R&B” when record labels try to sell artist that don’t fit in “today’s R&B” crowd, like Isabor or Eric Roberson, for example.
Now I’m new to these parts, but however you look at it…that was just wrong LOL
But I’m hoping someone can make Luvvie’s #1 happen
@kidSistah,
“but however you look at it…that was just wrong LOL”
Nah, he was only messin’ wit Thuggie, and giving her blog some play so the masses would go read that good stuff she got goin’ on over there. Cause THUGGIE ROCKS!
@kidSistah,
LOL iHate that iLove Champ. But I does. Him & his Humpty-like dome do keep me on my toes & my material fresh.
And yayyyy welcome to VSB. Take off ur coat & stay a while
. Just try to stay out of “The Corner”. It’s where us fools reside and keep our bowls of rice.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
@Luvvie
I gets it now
*settles in for the show*
@kidSistah,
welcome and sh*t
@kidSistah, wow…folks are actually interested in this, huh.
it’s like Joe Clairs “what is 69?” except he never did answer that question.
Champ, you leave my ePosse member alone!
Ol chronically causing dry vajayjay’s lookin face
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
*snort* ____________________
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
Soo far off topic but…
Darlin’ how did you come up with your name? Everytime I see it, I want to finish the lyric from that small band from back in the day (dont make me find the cd..I know the name.)
MISTA!
Thats the band
@An Uninspired Muse, Mista….which featured a young Bobby Valentino.
@An Uninspired Muse,
yes indeedy (c) B. Scott, that is partially where the name came from. that and I like to tell myself that I am a black berry and therefore full of sweetness.
There is a less PG reasoning, but that’s between me and ol’ boy
@blackberry molasses bailing on a boring conference session, somehow i feel like you shared the reason, without sharing the reason. if i were ever to see you in person, i’d definitely look at you different now. lol.
@blackberry molasses bailing on a boring conference session,
Word!
Just dont hurt the boy…..
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
You best tell him, BBMo!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Pinstripe Mafia STAND UP!! **throws up some kinda ridiculous gangsta sign**
To Plug or not to Plug: when tea-baggin goes wrong and your man’s sexuality becomes suspect…
Gangbangs ARE NOT a sexy contact sport: Why two wangs should never touch (unless it’s in G-A-Y pron)…and NO I DON’T WANNA WATCH.
@maria,
To Plug or not to Plug: when tea-baggin goes wrong and your man’s sexuality becomes suspect
you know, i never had a clear explanation of what tea-bagging actually means. would someone please explain it to me?
@The Champ,
Squat and dip nootsack into awaiting mouth of (sometimes unsuspecting) female companion (or NOT, if you’ve seen Zack and Miri)…
I believe the plug part Maria is talking about would be self-explanatory… Yes, that would be an experiment gone TERRIBLY wrong.
@Dante_Alexander,
*gag* Some things just can’t be un-learned. This is one of them
@Dante_Alexander,
dam you learn sumthin everyday.
what is spooning tho?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
http://northpalmwrestling.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/spooning.jpg
WARNING: May lead to forking…
@Me fail english?, I’m more of a spork man, myself…
@maria,
“To Plug or not to Plug: when tea-baggin goes wrong and your man’s sexuality becomes suspect…”
I’m confused…you are talking about 2 separate things right?
At least…I think you are. Cause I don’t think the t-bagging is questionable…now plugging on the other hand…that’s straight up buttchex (shouts to Me Fail English?) lol
@maria, hen tea-baggin goes wrong and your man’s sexuality becomes suspect…
co-sign. If ur not a prepubescent boy there is no reason to “tea-bag” another man…i just can’t fathom two grown men “tea-bagging” unless it’s foreplay lol.
@pgh muse,
Wait… What?
Why would a pre-pubescent boy teabag another man?
Unless it was Catholic Sunday School?
I kid, I kid. I’ll be going to confessional this Friday as scheduled.
Meanwhile, I would just like to say that, any of the things the Indian Dude from 40-Year old Virgin said (rusty trombone, Cincinnati bow tie, etc) were discussed at length gracias to the 2520s at Michigan State University. I applaud them for their forthcoming, and also for giving me a few ideas.
Also, another list we prolly won’t see, Champ?
“Why the dude over there black chicks find attractive picked Roseanne Barr to be his soulmate, when he could’ve had Nicole Ari Parker’s Twin?” And other ridiculous phrases saditty black women say to each other when they never would have spoken to said guy in the first place because he works like Roc: hard at the garbeech.
@Dante_Alexander, Why would a pre-pubescent boy teabag another man?
Unless it was Catholic Sunday School?
hahaha. ur right. my bad. I meant prepubescent BOYS may teabag each other and think its funny…
@Dante_Alexander, I applaud them for their forthcoming, and also for giving me a few ideas.
What were they forthcoming about? And is tea-bagging another man ok and not sexually ummm ambiguous?
@Dante_Alexander, And I asked that because I’m not a man… Most of the men I know have very rigid ideals of masculinity. Me, not so much… but I have to believe that there is a line…
@pgh muse,
There most certainly is. And one definite line is
DO NOT TEA BAG ANOTHER DUDE.
Young boy or no… The level of Ayyyo-age there would be Cartman/Stewie-like in its gayness.
Anyway, the 2520s at State were forthcoming about what filthy 2520 women will do to a guy on the first night.
When drinks are in abundance, morality and shame are not.
Let’s just say that, by partay-ing with my melanin-challenged brethren, I was exposed to things that are porn quality. And not gay porn. not even suspect porn (no crossing swords or finger-cuffs here, boyo).
You ever seen the comedian who says something like “White women are light years ahead of you sistas in terms of being disgusting in bed”?
Yeah… well. And I don’t even dabble in the pinky toe obsession like that.
i’s tired but idied at #7. be back in the morn if I get recess at work tomorrow. or if I can pawn some of my work off on the interns.
@SouthernGirl,
“or if I can pawn some of my work off on the interns.”
That’s what they are there for. Use them up.
@iloVEGrits,
Very true! Interns rock!
Topic I’d really want to discuss on VSB but doubt I’d ever get the chance:
Where in the world is Genius Khan? He was here and now he’s not. And I heard it from the horse’s mouth what went down. I miss his crazy, disoriented yet enlightening commentary. Le sigh.
I’d like to see the VSB fam discuss:
Top Signs HE is Crazy
Reasons Why Idris is So NOT Hot
Why Grits are the Best Hot Breakfast Cereal, ever
Things I NEVER, EVER want to read about on VSB:
How to Learn to Love a Man with a Nearly Invisible Penie
You are in Your 30s: Get Married
@iloVEGrits,
Top reasons I love grits’ grits are over cooked
1. Reasons Why Idris is So NOT Hot
Unless you mean Idris Jackson, Idris Williams, Idris Jenkins, or any other Idris but Idris Elba.
@iloVEGrits,
“Where in the world is Genius Khan?”
Wells, GK got his feelings hurt when he got booted from VSB. He even blogged about it here.
I miss Genius Khan! *wall slide*
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I KNOW the story, fool. lol.
I just wanted to discuss it on VSB.
@iloVEGrits,
And I know you know the story but others dont. So hursh! :p
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Oh…so you were just trying to jump start the discussion? I see now.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“*wall slide*”
That wall must be looking something awful by now, as much as you slide down it.
@iloVEGrits,
The wall is now a mirror, as I’ve buffed it so many times by sliding down it that it is now reflective.
True story
@Thuggie Luvvie,
lol. Good One. 1 pt. for Thug Luv.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
It’s only reflective if you look like a skidmark. *raspberries*
@WuDaMan,
So, you saying its only reflective when YOU do it? I see… *strokes chin*
And I’ve died.
@WuDaMan, and *snicker* “Thuggie” Luvvie….
boffa y’alls managed to kill me… i’m not even in my home town! they’re going to have to ship my body back.
@iloVEGrits,
I loves the *wall slide.* In my head, she does it in a 1980′s music video with [salt 'n] pepa stacked blonde hair and chipped red lipstick….with a long sleeved, polka dotted gordon gartrelle lime green shirt on the side. With sad trumpets sounds in the background. Oh, Luvvie…
*wall slide*
@charli skipper,
i forgot to mention the sad drama face. always with the sad drama face.
@charli skipper,
Instead of the sad trumpets, I’d swap them with the sad tuba music. Example: The “Uncle Ruckus (no relation)” Theme on the Boondocks is a perfect *wall slide* hymnal!
@charli skipper,
*cackles* This visual is turrble. Did you REALLY have to top it off w/ the Gordon Gartrelle asymmetrical mess special? DAYUM! I got a rep to maintain
@iloVEGrits,
“That wall must be looking something awful by now, as much as you slide down it.”
And I swear she wears out mo’ shirts than a lil’ bit.
@Thuggie Luvvie, awwww. I just read GK’s post. He had some good stuff to say although his slanguage was almost as indecipherable as broken Chinese or Wu’s (said with nothing but love
). He is missed around these parts.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I had no idea where genius khan went. It had crossed my mind from time to time. Now I want to know what he was saying that caused his words to be erased!!!
“The revolution will not be televised!!!!!!!!!” (<- Couldn’t help myself)
I feel like a movement should be started to bring him back.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I am entranced by this Genuis Khan mess. I’m a voyeur on the side so this is glee to me.
@iloVEGrits,
Regarding your alleged reasons why Idris is “not so hot”….Um…….
*as I gather my faculties*………………………………………….name ONE!
challonj.
@iloVEGrits, How to Learn to Love a Man with a Nearly Invisible Penie
*dead*
Oh VEG – this is CLASSIC! I think that would make a GREAT topic because it’s sooo relevant.
@pgh muse,
ain’t enuff head, fingers, toys or time
one of my girls swears her hubby has an inverted p-e-ni$ and she’s tryin to coax him into getting it check out by a dr. for possiblity of sugerical releasing…*free willie*
@maria,
inverted p-e-ni$
*loud chuckle*
@maria,
“one of my girls swears her hubby has an inverted p-e-ni$ ”
Um, wouldn’t that be a vagina?
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
LMAO!!!!!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
HA!!!
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Or Jamie Lee Curtis’ situation
@maria,
lmao@ “sugerical”.
I know it was a typo and all but this made me chuckle…like they gotta do that special, hood science to get it out
@maria, LMAO — girl. NOOOOOOOO!!! Not inverted! dang. sucks to be them.
@maria,
LOL Free Willie…wow thats intense! Jeebs be some enzyte for him lol!
@maria, this comment cracked me the f*ck up. but um, why did she marry a dude who’s um, got horizontal challenges?
@iloVEGrits, Where in the world is Genius Khan? He was here and now he’s not. And I heard it from the horse’s mouth what went down. I miss his crazy, disoriented yet enlightening commentary. Le sigh.
WHERE IS YUNG $$$ D*PAIN??? He made me laugh every day, and now he’s gone.
And Idris is hot, are you telling me if that man just showed up at your crib wearing nothing but his FINE, you would tell him its a school night?
@i’m overit, BOO,
Yeah we ain’t seen D-Pain ’round these parts since before we found out… You know what? I’mo leave that alone. It’s just been a long time
@Thuggie Luvvie, & tittsmcgee
@WuDaMan, what evuh happened to southerncharm
@WuDaMan, westindianarchie FOUR MANGO CUT
@iloVEGrits,
Let’s make a list of old VSBers who we need to send out an Amber Alert for and we miss something turrble.
*Genius Khan
*Tits McGee
*D-Pain
*Southern Charm
*Jen (*cackles*) – sorry but she gave someone a Ho Sit Down gift basket & it changed my life!
Who am I missing, folks?
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“*Jen (*cackles*) – sorry but she gave someone a Ho Sit Down gift basket & it changed my life!”
That was funny as hell too.
@miss t-lee,
When was this??
@V Renee,
A few months back…Champie just dug up the link for us.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
*Jen (*cackles*) – sorry but she gave someone a Ho Sit Down gift basket & it changed my life!
this was actually one of the five funniest moments of my life
@The Champ,
“this was actually one of the five funniest moments of my life”
Did the other 4 moments have to do with you, an unsuspecting woman and the phrase “Umm.. that NEVER happens”?
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Did the other 4 moments have to do with you, an unsuspecting woman and the phrase “Umm.. that NEVER happens”?
yeah. they were all wondering why the hell you were under my bed
@The Champ, since I was AWOL for this, can I get a link… please
Gracias champy
@The Champ,
*dead and gone* I don’t even have a comeback for that. Kudos, Humpty. KU.DOS.
its in here:
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/link-of-the-week-the-angry-black-chick-conundrum/
don’t say i aint ever give ya’ll nothin
@The Champ,
“don’t say i aint ever give ya’ll nothin”
you mean other than a reason to go to the clinic?
@The Champ,
Good ish. I didn’t even think the gift basket comment was funny. It was the prayer meeting in Jesus’ “holy living room” (or was it to his inbox???) that croak-ed me.
@The Champ,
*browses link provided*
Wow, that was epic. My nosy self is complete.
@The Champ,
How did I miss that?????
I had to chuckle at that. And the prayer session.
Jen was slightly
crazyextra though. She had the wettest blankets on this side of the internet. They used to be SOAKING wet. She sure did have interesting dialogue….. Bless her heart.@The Champ,
“this was actually one of the five funniest moments of my life”
Mine, too. Been waiting to use that on someone.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
The devience
@iloVEGrits,
Genius Khan can be found on Twitter
@geniuskhan
That you called Toldja & Luvvie out is hilarious …
Thus, the lists I’d want to see is:
_10 Surefire ways to get hate mail from Sista Toldja …
_10 Things The Kobe Puppet Said to LeBron’s Puppet After the Finals….
the ones i don’t:
_Things a Straight Man Must Do to Fit In At a Gay Bar…
_10 Reason Why I’d Be OK to Push Keri Hilson in Front of A Bus (Never OK, period.) …
Congrats on the 300/100K
@thismayconcernyou,
10 Surefire ways to get hate mail from Sista Toldja …
lol, sista t never actually sent us any mail. we just enjoy the jab and sh*t
btw, i think they have a couple post-finals puppet commercials showing now
@The Champ,
I saw the Montel Jordan/Kobe celebratory one … I’m kinda of sick of them though …
hmmm a few topics I am curious about are:
1)why church women are so freaky? With special attention to the pastor’s daughter.
I maintain its a rebellion thing but it has to go deeper than that.
2)why does ving rames keep playing fruity roles?
3)what is the meaning of life j/k(unless you know of course lol)?
4)Are ninja athletes really the only ones getting caught doing illegal stuff when 2520s are out there doing stuff too?
@Double J,
2)why does ving rames keep playing fruity roles?
You mean there’s more than Holiday Heart????
@Voiceofreason,
I now pronounce you chuck and larry he was a gay firefighter. I think he is silently screaming for a way out of the closet. lmbo
@Double J,
I think you might be right.
@Double J,
4)Are ninja athletes really the only ones getting caught doing illegal stuff when 2520s are out there doing stuff too?
please expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
I think the ratio of athletes being prosecuted isn’t realistic. The amount of ninjas vs the amount of 2520s(the 25th and 20th letter of the alphabet = yt)
Its like it is open season. For instance Michael Vick got a year for do fighting and there was a hockey player that killed someone drunk driving and didn’t get prosecuted by the state because the family didn’t press charges. I am saying what the h.e. double hockey sticks is that(yes I used that corny line on purpose lol )
@Double J,
michael vick got a year for running an organized crime business and lying to the feds about it for months. the dog fighting really didn’t have much to do with it.
but, to your point, are you saying that black people caught doing crimes shouldn’t be prosecuted?
(btw, i know what 2520 means, lol. thanks anyway though)
@The Champ,
The point being that ninjas crimes are more publicized and are more likely to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Also even if Vick didn’t lie he would have gotten the book thrown at him unlike our Anglo Saxon counter parts. Not to say he shouldn’t have been prosecuted because after all justice is blind. At least that’s what they say.
lol my bad about the 2520 lesson then and sh*t
@Double J,
i see what you’re saying, and you have some truth, but using mike vick is a bad example. his case was publicized because he was one of the most famous athletes on the planet, not some off-brand hockey player. if tom brady was accused of doing the same thing, they’d probably create a new espn channel just for that coverage.
also, as far as the book not being thrown at him because he was white, i’m assuming you haven’t heard of the donte stallworth case:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?prov=ap&slug=ap-stallworth-pedestriankilled&type=lgns
cliffnotes version: he killed a pedestrian last year while driving drunk, but because he was cooperative with the family and the law, he’s only serving a 30 day prison sentence
again, i do agree with the fact that we (black men) are usually dealt a bad hand when it comes to justice, but these are horrible examples to try and prove your case
@Double J, in response to number 2
i’d like to throw out the list of Bamboozled: Where the F*ck Did Ving Rhames Get that Accent List
@Panama Jackson,
where is he from anyway?
@Double J, motherf*cking Harlem. his momma’s name? Reatha. his daddy’s name? Ernest.
he clearly ended up with that accent after trying to convince people that he should be taken seriously considering some of the horrendous roles he’s taken.
@Double J,
“2)why does ving rames keep playing fruity roles?”
Because he pissed God off when he did the Young Joc’s motorcyle dance with Tom Cruise on BET?
@Cheekie,
Or maybe he walked past a field of the color purple and didn’t stop to admire it. So the Big Man scowled upon him and smited him w/ fruity roles. *shrugs shoulders* IDK
@”Thuggie” Luvvie,
1. Its “smote” not “smited”
2. You ain’t no thug.
That is all.
@blackberry molasses bailing on a boring conference session,
I like smited better. I stand by it.
@Thuggie Luvvie, actually you can your either
@Thuggie Luvvie,
*deeply considers this*
Hmm, that may be true. You’re onto somethin’.
I Can’t really think of any topics I don’t want to see on here, per se, but here’s a few I would like to see the VSB/S’s tackle:
*Top 5 Ways To Know If You’re Woman Is On The DL – We always here about down low dudes, but it’s definitely not exclusive to one gender. I know some men don’t mind if their woman is a “little” gay…I, for one, do.
*Key Ways To Make Your Relatonship Recession-proof – “Money breaks groups up like the Five Heartbeats” and it does the same for a lot of relationships/marriages. (Note: I’m not sure if this has been covered in length already)
*Why VSB.com Should Ban Any References Towards Unicorns, Albino Roaches, Luvvie’s Rice Obsession, and Midget Clowns – this is pretty much self-explanatory.
@Monk,
“*Why VSB.com Should Ban Any References Towards Unicorns, Albino Roaches, Luvvie’s Rice Obsession, and Midget Clowns – this is pretty much self-explanatory.”
So whatcha want us to talk bout, Monk? How come light-skinded (yes, skinded) dudes ain’t been in since acid wash jeans were the rave? Just wondering…
@Thuggie Luvvie,
girl sip that palm wine and sat down in the corner
@Monk,
*Key Ways To Make Your Relatonship Recession-proof
i actually plan on writing something along those lines tomorrow.
@Monk,
“*Why VSB.com Should Ban Any References Towards Unicorns, Albino Roaches, Luvvie’s Rice Obsession, and Midget Clowns – this is pretty much self-explanatory.”
I don’t think I wanna live in a world without Luvvie’s rice obsession. Or rice. Or Luvvie.
@Cheekie, LMAO I’m mad Luvvie came last
@Kindred Smile,
Girl, you know I saved the best.
@Kindred Smile,
I’m mad Luvvie came last
she’s used to it
@The Champ,
*snarls* iHatechu!
@The Champ,
*DEAD* @ Champ goin hard on Luvvie today.
Hmm. Pause. Quick, Luvvie jump on the above statement! lol
@The Champ,
“*DEAD* @ Champ goin hard on Luvvie today.”
Well he can’t “go hard” on or with nothing else so…
Tee hee
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Haha…I expected nothing less. You’re my she-ro.
@Cheekie,
*HUGS Cheekie*
As the saying goings: Congratulations and sh*t!!! Great site.
Fine Specimens from Jerseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey include:
Tawny Cypress — Hot and was in Heroes season one (Ali Larter is from Jersey too btw).
Lauryn Hill — Before the steep decline
Whitney Houston — Ditto (some would say)
Teisha Campbell
Vida Guerra — There’s some black in there, and if not . . .
Keshia Night Pulliam
Queen Latifah — Technically, she’s a model, I think.
Rah Digga
Damn, that was harder than I thought. But here’s how I know I can get a formal apology . . . I doubt J.D. WILLIAMS (Bodie) would appreciate you trashing his home state girls!
@An Island,
Rah Digga is alright but she is not fine. Plus with that deep voice she could be Barry White in the dark.
On time for flipmode though
@Double J, i’m with you. Rah Digga’s voice is deeper than mine.
and my voice ain’t undeep.
@An Island,
lol, yeah…you probably should have held off on that list.
@The Champ,
Yeah, I just wanted to go down swinging.
But we do have a couple nice 2520′s [swinging even more frantically as I'm getting stomped out].
@An Island
A couple more, but clearly not enough:
Natasha Bradley — Who sang “Sidekick” which has a Lil Wayne remix.
Brianna Frost
Antonique Smith (played Faith Evans in Notorious, Faith is from Jersey too btw)
That’s all I could find, I give up.
@An Island,
“Teisha Campbell”
No.
@miss t-lee,
“No.”
Ditto.
@An Island, yeah dun son. you’ve got some pretty questionable shots on that list. whitney?? i mean, lots of people WERE fine. but this ain’t longitudinal…this is cross sectional.
we need point in time. young rudy is lookin’ good, i’ll give you that.
and you know what, i’m going to have to give her credit for getting finer as the days go by. when we were in school together in Atlanta, she wasn’t really that fine to me, she was just, Rudy, so of course she was alluring in that regard, but she wasnt exactly stopping traffic or turning heads b/c of her looks.
everybody just wanted to bang rudy.
@Panama Jackson,
“everybody just wanted to bang rudy.”
And did they? I’m curious…
Oh & Rudy looks decent. She jus needs to get them over-big veneers she gots in her mouf. They looked a mess in “Madea goes to jail”.
@Thuggie Luvvie, i can’t say that Rudy got ran thru or anything. i have no clue. from what i know of her (we had a few classes together, can’t call her a friend or anything) she was a respectable woman of Spelman College.
now about that OTHER alleged habit of hers…lol…
well.
@An Island,
“Teisha Campbell”
Um, she got her head stuck in a headboard.
@Cheekie,
LMAO! Somethin about her face isn’t totally right!
@An Island,
Lol. This list is terrible.
@Me fail english?,
It’s kinda pathetic, yeah. I’m actually starting to think I could come up with a better or at least equal list for North Dakota or another random state like that . . . seriously.
@An Island,
haha. Jersey def has fine women. I know cuz two of ‘em were on my dance team. Now fine famous women…
Ur right, North Dakota would’ve been a better list.
@Me fail english?
The more I think, the more I’m (?in denial?) convinced there’s gotta be some north Jersey women claiming NYC, and south Jersey chicks claiming Philly. There’s just no way there aren’t a lot more. No way.
@An Island,
I’m sorry, but this is a sad list.
@Voiceofreason
Ugh, the Champ set me up on that one.
@An Island,
Don’t fret. He’s good for doing ish like that.
Potential VSB Topics
* Top 5 Lies VSB tells us – Number 1 should be that they are having a BBQ……
* Top ways to outsmart a stalker
* Why the revolution will not be televised (FREE GENIUS KHAN) ::snickering::
* Why VSB should never do a post like the post that shall not be named again
* Best ways to piss off a co-worker without getting fired in these TET (wkcite Hostess) / How to stop yourself from Latrell Sprewelling a coworker because they pissed you off
* Best Jay Z lyrics/best Jay Z lyrics that correlate to different situations. i.e. Let’s say you think you got a bad azz chick, that seems like a “good girl” = Jay Z lyric “How she say Jay you can call the house for me?
There’s no respect at all
You betta check her dawg
She keep beggin’ me to hit it raw
So she can have my kids and say it was yours”
* Why the line between R&B and rap keeps getting blurier and blurier
* top 10 (no more and no less unless it’s a 2 disc special edition) songs that would be on the soundtrack of your life
@V Renee,
* Top 5 Lies VSB tells us – Number 1 should be that they are having a BBQ……
hee-hee!!
@miss t-lee,
I’m just saying……hehehe.
I think that if I keep talking sh*t, I may not get an invitation. Thank goodness Im not scared to crash a party.
F*ck an invitation!@V Renee,
I’mma hafta have someone to talk ish with.
If you don’t get an invite you can be my +1…
@miss t-lee,
Thank you!!!!!!! It’s much appreciated. If you need me to, I can help hand out throat punches…..
@V Renee,
I’m always looking for an apprentice.
@V Renee, just for your information,we actually are trying to put one together. forever.
lol. word.life. but b/c there’s a gang of you knuckas spread out all over the place, logistics is a mothertrucker. but, we’re working on it.
tytfvm
@Panama Jackson,
Yall actually ARE planning the VSB BBQ FINALLY? I don’t believe you. You need a troop of more people, including WuDaMan’s favorite butcher (cuz I know he got one), Champ’s hat maker (cuz I know he needs one for his special head shape) and Monk’s umbrella holder (cuz you know light skint folks sunburn easy).
@Thuggie Luvvie,
you’re right. i’m also bringing your comb constructor to help co-sign
@V Renee,
“* Top ways to outsmart a stalker”
I betchu Shay-d-Lady got a story bout this.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“I betchu Shay-d-Lady got a story bout this.”
I’ll put in $20 on that bet!
@V Renee, * Why VSB should never do a post like the post that shall not be named again
i will and i can. and when in Sam Hill did you all come up with this “post that shall not be named” malarkey. lol. in terms of actual substantive, meaninful commentary, it just might have been our most successful post…its just too bad i couldnt comment at the time or it would have gotten UUUUUGLY.
some motherf*ckers get real flagrant with the lips over the ‘net. but i can to.
and interesting enough, we could probably do a VSB: Behind The Blog Post series on stuff that happens behinds the scenes.
like the GK thing…word.life. i was wondering what happened to him too…hell, i wasn’t even sure what he was talking about…
but the “post that shall not be named” man…there’s a 2 month long saga going on behind that blog post that involves the FBI, internet security, and just uber d-bagery that i’d love to go into detail about, but i’ve been legally advised against doing
@Panama Jackson,
See you can’t say sh*t like that and not expect nosy people (like myself) to not
wantneed to know more information!I kid I kid about the post. It definitely got discussion going and people up in arms (literally).
@Panama Jackson,
That post was scary, funny and annoying all at once…and then there was part two.
I wasn’t here in the GK days but I read the post linked by Luvvie and all I can gather is that dude started spamming the boards on some talking to himself type ish??? Not for nothing, but I mighta banned him too. Just to see if he’d go all 4chan anon and bomb the site. heh heh
@Me fail english?,
On the same token, there’ve been other folks who did whole threads of talking to themselves on VSB. GK hasn’t been the only one. So I also wonder what happened. I saw the backend of it and also wondered where his comments went.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“On the same token, there’ve been other folks who did whole threads of talking to themselves on VSB. GK hasn’t been the only one”
lol, thats like saying “there have been tons of cats who build stuff as hobbies. the unabomber wasn’t the only one”
when you write 50 nonsense comments to yourself in a span of 20 minutes, i’m sorry but its spam.
but, to set the record straight, he was never banned. his comments just got sent to moderation, and he went ahead and banned himself.
@Panama Jackson, Ok WTH was that post about? I’m still fresh meat around here.
@ChiChi,
SILENCE! We must never speak of it again……..
…..unless you insist. P made a post enlightening us all as to where women should fall on a scale of attractiveness, with ratings ranging from 1 to 10. Aside from discovering P has insanely high standards (I think Queen Nefertiti topped out around 4…with 1 possible) there was, what some posters inferred to be a color bias. Our more “fluorescent” sisters fell at the top of the scale while the bottom was stacked with brownies.
and. all. hell. broke. loose.
People started attacking each other’s looks, debating freedom of expression, e-stalking family members, I think Brick killed a guy! I mean ish got really funky up in here, B!
And then there was part two…so you see, we can never speak of this again.
@Me fail english?,
“…I think Brick killed a guy!”
i literally laughed aloud at this
@The Champ,
me 2..dayum!!
@The Champ, did you and I have a sidebar about this, this is all vaguely coming back to me
@Me fail english?,
and. all. hell. broke. loose. .
Did it ever!?!?!? I was so shocked and amazed that it blew up like that! Especially considering the f*ckery that goes on daily around here.
I’m just glad we can laugh about it now
and possibly get people locked up.@Me fail english?,
“and. all. hell. broke. loose.”
Hee. Great summary. I was still fairly new (well…to commenting) when this happened and ya’ll shoulda seen how dilated my pupils were when reading the comments. I didn’t add much due to the sheer shock of it all. Instead of speechless, I was typeless. Trauma.
@ChiChi, yeah, Me Fail pretty much summed it up. it was part comedy and part intentional lightning rod. i wrote that joint with my girl and her mother sitting in front of me and said, “i think i’m gonna put light chicks at the top and see what happens”. true story. though i will say, i didn’t see folks coming at me so hard. were my standards on that list a little high? yes and no. for one, i place celebs in a different category than i do non-celebs. i’ve met non-celebs who i think look better than any celebs i can think of. but i was using pop culture references, something that i think got lost in the whole piece. which kind of annoyed me actually.
i also think some folks juxtaposed my list onto their own personal feelings or philosophies and decided that PJ is the most unrealistic f*ck out there. granted, the post was crude as hell – i made some pretty jackarseish statements, but that’s what i do – but folks just got bent out of shape like a mug. some people saw the comedy some people took it oh so serious.
and the thing is, at that point, i couldn’t comment b/c of my job. our site was/is banned. so the NEXT day, i wrote a 1500 word response to the comments, etc.
thing is, some people took things a wee bit too far taking shots at my crown. and i didnt appreciate that and in some ways, my inability to comment on the posts during the day was a Godsend b/c i would have hurt some feelings, for sure and possibly jeopardized the future of this website. and some folks decided to let us know that they weren’t ever coming back…over that post. LOL.
also, that’s how one of my aliases at the end of my post became: GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3.
some chick called me a 4, but did it anonymously on some b*tch sh*t. i really take issue with anonymous commenters on b*tch sh*t. its the ultimate in b*tcha**ness. i can deal with folks taking shots at me, but dont hide behind the screen. anyway…
…there’s a WHOLE 2 nearly 2 month saga that followed that post that I haven’t alerted anybody too on this blog outside of my comrades. let’s just say a whole lot of f*ckery came into play. the kind that puts people in jail.
i love the internet.
Happy 300th posting.
I’ma cue up some screwed & chopped for ya…
@miss t-lee,
(2520) Coworker chick to coworker dude, a few minutes ago: “Wakeup, boo. You got some syrup in your Snapple this morning?”
Just inappropriate. As was my laughter at her expense.
@Nikiloveli,
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
She pronounced it “Seerrup.”
@Nikiloveli,
Sounds like my grandma…lol
Just a few that popped into my mind off rip that should never see the light of day:
1. How to alienate normal people from your sheer greatness: The Black Greek edition.
2. How to REALLY fit into a 2520 world: your guide to low-rise man-jeans, thong flip flops in winter, and heroin-chic.
3. What we know about Barack and his family but won’t tell a 2520… Top 10 secrets every black family has.
4. Why Jim Jones is the next Martin Luther King, Jr.
5. I want to marry this chic before she has kids, but I don’t want to be a pedophile: Top 10 places to find childless PR chics over the age of 18.
I’m sure if I think of more, I’ll chime back in…
Oh and *Top 5 Ways To Know If You’re Woman Is On The DL – We always here about down low dudes, but it’s definitely not exclusive to one gender. I know some men don’t mind if their woman is a “little” gay…I, for one, do.”
I’d like to see that, too. But for the exact opposite reasons you do. To each his own, though. It’ll be purely for educational purposes, I swear.
@Dante_Alexander,
3. What we know about Barack and his family but won’t tell a 2520… Top 10 secrets every black family has. .
This is a great one.
@V Renee,
I agree.
@Dante_Alexander,
“3. What we know about Barack and his family but won’t tell a 2520… Top 10 secrets every black family has.”
One of these secrets include “After a good session of the southside slippery slide, we may fist bump to say ‘KUDOS. You rocked my world, babe!’”
And umm… we settle marital discord over a heated spades game w/ our BFF married couple
Yes. The 2520s must NEVER find out
@Dante_Alexander,
4. Why Jim Jones is the next Martin Luther King, Jr.
you know…a few years ago, i would have taken this challenge. hell i wrote a post back in 2004 defending George Bush vs the NAACP.
basically, i used to defend evil.
@Dante_Alexander,
5. I want to marry this chic before she has kids, but I don’t want to be a pedophile: Top 10 places to find childless PR chics over the age of 18.
this definitely has potential. my number one would be “buffalo, NY”. i think that city has more puerto ricans than puerto rico
Topics we won’t see on here are:
1.Reason why men will never wear Hammer pants, biker shorts or jeans with big holes in them again
2. Why no one (except those I’m scared of )hates pizza
3.The joys of flossing
4.Best ways to highlight your hair
5.What is the proper way to sip afternoon tea
VSB future topic (some may have been one at one time)
1. How to save the music industry from itself
2. Why come men and women can’t see eye to eye more
@pinksghetti,
“1.Reason why men will never wear Hammer pants, biker shorts or jeans with big holes in them again”
Girl, I thought you knew Champale rocks the Hammer pants! That’s all that can accommodate his freakish bowed legs and pigeon foots. Po thang.
“My beat is ever boomin’ and you know I get it started – get it started!” Hehehe
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Lol! Wouldn’t it be cool if he could some how rock biker shorts that look like Hammer pants. But it would be impossible since that seem to be on the opposite end of the fashion spectrum. Maybe he can wear the Hammer pants and put holes in them.
@pinksghetti,
2. Why come men and women can’t see eye to eye more
which eyes are you talking about?
@The Champ,
*gasp* Was I just high-sided by Bo-legged Lou aka Champale?
*psedo-tears are rolling down my cheeks as I type this* That hurt, Champale, that hurt.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
I mean damn – I couldn’t get no “hammer deez” or nothin’? That’s IT! I’m going on strike! (for like 5 minutes)
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
i forgot champale was one of my pseudonyms. i thought you were referring to your twin.
@The Champ,
“i forgot champale was one of my pseudonyms. i thought you were referring to your twin.”
Ok, I’mma go ahead and let that one slide (mainly because I’m laughing too hard, and I don’t have a retort) but I’ll get yo ass next time!! lol
@The Champ, I’ll get yo ass next time!!
OOOOOOoooo! Red Beanz said ASS!!!
@The Champ,
The left eye for women and the right for men. Sort of a tango effect, lol. Naw, I’m thinking it seems when it comes to men and women we get in long discussion on how either men suck or women suck or how other races of men or women suck less than men or women who are our color. It can be annoying (I don’t see it on VSB but on other “less refined” websites, it can be annoying).
Happy 300th vsp.
@WuDaMan,
Oh, snaps, yeah…Happy 300th ya’ll very smart brothas! Many more and he’s a jolly good fellow that nobody can deny and so on…
What I really wanna see is the full list of VSB t-shirts. There has to be at least 20,000 of those out there.
@Peysonic Temple #69,
I wanna see those too. I think Champie said he was keeping a list.
Ugh. I ain’t been on here in two days (I took off of work) and I’ve been shaking and white foamin’ at the mouth. That ain’t cute. But, I’m back. ‘Cuz I missed you fine folks.
Topics that probably won’t be discussed but I secretly want to read about:
- The E! True Hollywood Story of Champ and Panama (in blog post form)
- Top 10 Places to rock Crocs
- Top 13 Songs that Make Shorty Drier Than A Carmex-Desperate Lip
- Why Beyonce Is Nothing to Hate On
- The Shucking and Jiving Chronicles
Et cetera.
@Cheekie, you know, i had the idea a long time ago of letting somebody just do a straight, no-chaser interview of The CHamp and myself so folks could ask any and every question they wanted and we’d ahve to answer. that’s be the E! True Hollywood Story right there…
you have some good topics…i’ll take them into advisement. and we’ve written about Beyonce…
@Panama Jackson,
LOL…yeah I read the Beyonce post. It’s infamous in its infamy. Which is why I switched it up in terms of opinion…ya’ll chose to go the other way and the internets exploded. lol
“Top 10 Places to rock Crocs”
A kindergarten or pre-school classroom. That’s it, because anyone over the age of 6 who wears those things looks like a jack@ss.
@Voiceofreason,
Or nurses. I gave passes to nurses. But they need to change those joints if they’re not wearing scrubs.
Still, though, my hate for them is so fiery, that I REFUSE to buy my baby nephew some and will throw a tantrum if I ever see them on his feet.
@Cheekie,
True. They were made for doctors and nurses so they could easily clean up their shoes if fluid/liquid spilled on them. Then somebody decided to put holes in them and market them to the general public.
@Voiceofreason,
Are you telling me those aren’t garden clogs? What are the specific differences between Crocs and garden clogs?
@Nikiloveli,
I could be wrong, but I don’t think there’s a difference.
@Voiceofreason,
Then it’s settled. Unless you have pinking shears, a syringe, or a juice box in your hands, there is just no good excuse for Crocs.
@Nikiloveli,
“Unless you have pinking shears, a syringe, or a juice box in your hands, there is just no good excuse for Crocs.”
Why did I just picture BBMo walkin’ down 8th avenue rockin’ that look in broad daylight on her way to the grocery store? Shears and all!
@Nikiloveli,
“Then it’s settled. Unless you have pinking shears, a syringe, or a juice box in your hands, there is just no good excuse for Crocs.”
So let it be written. So let it be done.
Seriously, though, I will die (DIE I tell you!) if I ever see those “shoes” grace the catwalks.
Congrats on the 300th post VSB!!! If I thnk of a topic, I’ll come back later and share. One thing I’ve always wanted to see on VSB is an “advice day” where you the Very Smart Brothas would give advice or answer letters from us.
@Eff yo couch, preciate it hombre…we actually respond to emails that are sent to us. we generally get quite a few emails from people with questions…
we keep it gangsta.
@Eff yo couch,
yea like a negrodamus deal lol
Congrats and shyt VSB! Keep up the good work!
Happy 300th VSB.
The comments keep me coming back. Ya’ll nigras/negras is crazy.
Taking a break from conference boredom to say CONGRATUMALTATIONS on the 300….
THIS.IS.VSB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (100 cool points to the person who cites my randomness)
Looking forward to more tomfoolery.
**Special Edition 300th Post Diva Dust ™**… you knew it was coming!
congrats on the 300th post. I started commenting at like post 250ish or something. I most go back and read the prior 250.
Topics I would like to see if they had not already been done:
1) Whats in a name: Names a man can call you that tell you the significance of your relationship. ( i mentioned this yesterday).
2) 10 Reasons Why Truly Nice Guys Make Women Feel like The Sahara Desert.
3) The Untouchables: Reasons Why Virgins Over 21 Rock or Not. I would love, LOVE to see this!
4) The Azz Spectrum Defined: From Buffy to Nassotall.
5) How to Score A Sugar Daddy or Mama.
Thats all I got for now….
I do know what I do not want to see…let’s give everything a chance y’all!
@Blue Skyez,
“3) The Untouchables: Reasons Why Virgins Over 21 Rock or Not. I would love, LOVE to see this!”
Oh yes, me and the other 3 people are most rare indeed. And even rarer are those of us choosing this option not because of religion, but because of love. Which, I’ve never experienced…at least not on MY side. Bogus, I know.
And I’m falling in love with the term “The Untouchables” (I adopted “Tina Tightstuff” over at Three Ways), but yeah…The Untouchables. Like we’re Al Capone-esque gangstas and ish with our tightness.
@Cheekie, Girl, my bff is still one (urrrhhh….as far as penetration *Snicker*) and she’ll be 25 in a few months.
I would be one too if I hadn’t FIL. *Awwww…* LOL
@ChiChi,
What’s FIL?
@ChiChi,
I co-sign Voiceofreason’s question.
And I’ll be 25 at the end of July.
@Cheekie,
Well hot d@mn….maybe unicorns do exist!!!!
I kid I kid
@V Renee,
There’s another nickname I’ve heard given for the virgines across the world. lol
@Voiceofreason,
I want to guess fell in love???
@Ms. T,
Oh! Good answer, Good answer! That makes sense.
Survey says…
@ChiChi,
yeah what is FIL? Fallen in Love?
@Cheekie,
There’s NOTHING wrong with waiting. I waited for an extremely long time, and I kinda still wish I never started. I’ve never experienced love either. I was waiting for love, but I figured I’d be too old to be Virginian if I ever found it.
@Voiceofreason,
Thanks for the kind words. Honestly, even though I’m a virgine (said in Borat-voice), I’m not a prude of any sorts. So, I’m not one of those annoying virgins…let the record show. Heh. But, yeah, I’m waiting for love; however, I am being realistic about it. Because like I said, I’ve been on the OTHER side of love, so what if the same thing happens to me and I give it up. Would be heartbreaking, but hey, live and learn. So, I’m open to the uncertainty of it all, but I’m hopeful.
@Cheekie,
awww you guys give me hope! I’m only 22 so I could totally wait some more.
@Cheekie,
“And even rarer are those of us choosing this option not because of religion, but because of love. Which, I’ve never experienced…at least not on MY side. Bogus, I know”
So NOT BOGUS. I am also waiting for true love. This response has usually has people given me wide-eye stares and forehead touches. Man are we really that rare? I have about 2 other close friends who share my same sentiments.
@Blue Skyez,
I know! And to just to clarify, I didn’t mean it was bogus to wait for love, it was bogus that I’ve never experienced it but have had ninjas fall for me.
http://stuffblackpeop1edontlike.blogspot.com/
Congrats on the 300th post.
@Paul,
welcome and sh*t
The VSB banning of GK is news to me.
@Liz,
lol, lemme find out he was never actually banned
@Me fail english?, pretty sure he wasn’t….and he def was never on my list.
Since we get a ton of comments and also attract the crazies every now and then, sometimes the spam control here goes haywire (as some of you have experienced), and when I have to sift through things to solve mysteries re: comments, mistakes are made. But an intentional ban of GK? Never happened as far as I know, and I don’t think P or Champ could ban anyone even if they tried lolol.
@Liz, low blow Liz. low blow. and once i figure out how to do anything aside from post blogs…its a wrap. i’m banning all kinds of people.
just call me pBanner. the “p” is silent.
@Panama Jackson, LOL! I’m just sayin–it couldn’t have been ya’ll!
MY TOP TOPICS
Clothes- When to know what to wear how to wear it and when to put it back on the rack. /Sometimes I wonder why friends let friends go out in public the way they do. I saw somebody that had no business wear booty shorts yesta day. I kno its gettin hot but dam.
War On Drugs- Is it worth it? Should we legalize some stuff we ina recession we could use the extra bread.
Credit Cards- Does anyone have good credit anymore? I have a few in my wallet just for decorations and to scrape ice of my windshield in the winter and ill pull a *in my asian voice* “bennie dont live heaaa wong numba solly” to a credit agency ina sec
Girls- Is it easier to turn a good girl bad or a bad girl good? Ive been tryna answer this for ever
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Credit Cards- Does anyone have good credit anymore?”
When I applied for a mortgage loan a year ago, my credit score was 761. Count it out SNITCHES. Seven. Six. One. Higher than the “excellent 725″ score on those bootleg credit score ad banners. Whoo! No idea what it is now, but I’m pretty decent with my credit. I’m sure it ain’t that far off from what it was then.
Mama didn’t raise no fool, I always pay my bills on time and pay over the min, etc and I told those hungry arse credit plantations to sit down during college (trust, it wasn’t easy). I try to tell younger folks in the family to avoid it…those mofos won’t QUIT. Settin’ up tables and ish. Go the hell away. Now. Effing leeches.
@Cheekie, most colleges and universities do not allow them on their campuses anymore. or if they are there can not rent space in their sutdent unions…
@Intellectual Hedonist,
Really? That’s great to hear. I gotta check if that applies to my alma mater nowadays. Because, wow, those were some annoying folks.
@Cheekie, some of it was in response to a (couple of years ago) news show on students that had commited suicide over 20K in credit card debt… made me think damn I shouldve killed myself after grad school with my student loan debt. anywhoo
@Intellectual Hedonist,
*gasp*
Oh my God…Wow, I need to read up on that story. Thanks!
@Intellectual Hedonist, of course you know it was some 2520
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“of course you know it was some 2520″
LOL…yup. When I read your comment, you know who I had pictured in my head. You know. lol
@Cheekie,
B of A had hampton uni sewwed up
@Cheekie, you just wanted us to know how good your credit is. we ain’t jealous!!!
*going to freetriplescore.com to see if my credit made it out of the 400s yet…i was gonna pay back that 87% interest loan i took out for that stereo…i really was!*
@Panama Jackson,
Guilty.
Seriously, though, to humble it up a bit. That score is the product of mooching off Mama for years. It’s lovely being the youngest. lol
@Panama Jackson, 400s
dang. I thought mine was bad
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“I saw somebody that had no business wear booty shorts yesta day. I kno its gettin hot but dam. ”
I feel ya on that one. Ain’t enough “hot” in the world that should make a wildebeest go outside rockin’ booty shorts. Especially when the booty extends to the back of her knees. (A visual that is forever etched in my mental *sighs*
)
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
or shirts i mean spandex should have a weight limit.
tight shirts + rolls= lunch on the concrete i mean 4real tho do they look at themselves and think wow I dont look THAT fat in this? naw they proly got the circus fun house mirrors or sumthin lol but shiiiiiiiii rolls over rolls is not the bizniss it makes me sick.
thanks for the congrats everybody. ya’ll are our inspiration, the wing beneath our wings and sh*t
@The Champ,
“the wing beneath our wings”
sub-wings, so to speak?
err…thanks
@The Champ,
Now I’m wondering if Champ can do a mean Bette Midler impersonation.
@Cheekie,
LOL that’s exactly what i was thinking!
@The Champ,
we’re glad we could be that for you. many many congrats and just make sure you keep our daily “inspiration to not slit my wrist while i waste my life away at this God forsaken job” coming. Thanks for the laughs!
Congrats on the 300th VSP P, Champy and Liz….
So glad I e-met the Champ days before VSB launched, yall have brought the levity to my life that it has needed in the most h3llish stressfull times and allowed me to talk about fam and friends that have yet to discover you(read I refuse to tell about so I can continue talking about them), and at times provided me with great conversation topics to talk to my road dog with as we road tripped up and down 95 (since Jan I have put about 12 thousand miles on my car)
Keep it going with the IGnance, tom foolery, and the glitter.
now for a list I would like to see..
Top TenHook Ups That Have Taken Place Since the Inception of VSB…
and dont even tell me it aint happened. (Talk amongst yourself but outloud)
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“Top TenHook Ups That Have Taken Place Since the Inception of VSB… ”
HA! Yes!
Now THIS is what I’m talkin’ about. If ya’ll want dynamic blog posts, THIS. IS. IT.
*ding ding ding ding ding*
::ANNOUNCEMENT::
Today I learned there is a such thing as salmon bacon.
::THAT IS ALL::
@WuDaMan, I knew you were going to post this on here
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“I knew you were going to post this on here”
LOL…that’s sad and incredible at the same time. Really delves into the true nature of Wu as a “person”.
@WuDaMan,
LMAO! U will not call us all to the town square for an announcement bout the existence of salmon bacon. You’re the VSBer that cried “BACON”
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I’d rip off my vsb t and scream it @ the top of my lungs till I passed out from exhaustion.
@WuDaMan,
*mouth dropped open a la Sebastian in The Little Mermaid*
Who ARE You, Wu? For real. I cried laughing and plain ol’ cried because of this announcement.
@Cheekie,
What can I say, ‘I’m the Kanye West of the food world, I’m the Jay-Z of your taste buds, I’m the one you wanna store up inside you for winter Cheekie.’
@WuDaMan,
*dead and gone* I need everyone to rock Dereon Chanclattas w/ gold glitter on the sole at my funegro If you REALLY love me, you will find a matching jumpsuit w/ embroidery and a giant sequined clutch.
This is my last will & testament.
@WuDaMan,
Oh my…
I am DONE. Well done. I am more well done that a withered piece of steak that wasn’t butterfly cut.
@WuDaMan, *humming*
going off to compare blt dlt and a slt
that’s pork bacon lettuce tomato
duck bacon lettuce and tomato
and salmon lettuce and tomato
@WuDaMan,
“duck bacon lettuce and tomato”
The hell? I know about turkey bacon, but DUCK bacon? What schizophrenic meat pushing mogul came up with that idea? That’s pure and unadulterated insanity.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Cornbread,
Actually duck fat is one of the tastiest fat there is.
(ok, I think I’ve stayed at the office way too long)
@WuDaMan,
There’s duck bacon? OMG if that’s true, my life is now complete and i have found the missing link!
@WuDaMan,
You see turkey bacon is like balogna to me and beef bacon although good heck let’s throw it in the mix
@WuDaMan,
Salmon Bacon?
‘da hell? You’re joking right?
@miss t-lee,
Also, I’m wondering what part of the salmon could bacon possibly come from…
@WuDaMan, I’m just perplexed. I didn’t know a salmon was fatty enough to make bacon. I don’t know how i feel about this. I mean… if it looked and smelled good I would try it. is it cut and paste bacon? how do they do it?
@pgh muse,
It’s weird, right? I mean, if it is fatty, it’s that good omega-3 fatty. lol
http://www.urbandaddy.com/mia/food/6144/Brekfish_Salmon_Bacon_The_Latest_in_Bacon_Technology_Miami_MIA
http://www.dartagnan.com/item.asp?item=PSMBD002
hm
@WuDaMan,
I’m upset that they used the term “bacon technology”.
It really shouldn’t take all that to make bacon…dayum.
@WuDaMan,
Ok, it’s 9:08pm… I’m still at the office, but this, I say this just made my day!
You are hilarious, Wuda!
Wu’s post of his recent discovery of salmon bacon begs a top ten list (that I would not want to see)
Most ecclectic food items eaten by Wu in one sitting
@Intellectual Hedonist,
*evil maniacle laughter*
Ok, so in honor of the 300th post, I’ve finally remembered that I’ve been dying to ask this for the longest and I haven’t been commenting long enough to find out way back when:
In the VSB tagline, “Where Our Favorite CP3 Wears a B-Cup”, what the eff is a “CP3″? I feel like I’m missing an arm due to not knowing this info. Like I need this term in my lexicon to reference in the future or something.
@Cheekie, She’s a WNBA player… forget her real name. But i wanted to know too when i first got here. So i googled it
@pgh muse,
I tried googling it and came up with weird abbreviations that had nothing to do with nothing. And I thought my Google skills were better than that. I was humbled like a mofo.
@Cheekie,
CP3 is Candace Parker, who is a dope hooper. She wears the #3 and is indeed a member of the IBTC. Well, she’s preggo now so that may have changes.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Ahhh…all makes sense now. I had no idea she was referred to as that. Learn somethin’ new everyday. Danke.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
She’s fine, she can hoop, but she’s also preggo with a retards baby. Please note that, too.
However, he’s a retard with a multi-million dollar contract, so whatever.
@Dante_Alexander,
“She’s fine, she can hoop, but she’s also preggo with a retards baby. Please note that, too.”
He does look like he’s missing a few chromosomes.
@miss t-lee,
or he got too many lol
@WuDaMan,
*spits out hypothetical drink*
HAHAHA…That mofo got 67 chromosones. And yes, she is the poster child for “Why She Wit Him?”
@WuDaMan,
I forgot about that too…lol
@Cheekie,
I believe it references Chris Paul too. If I’m not mistaken. But I could be.
@V Renee,
Yeah, I just saw that on Google. Probably why they (they, being the VSBers) say “favorite”. Well, hopefully… lol
@Cheekie,
I hope Chris Paul ain’t got a B cup…lmao
@miss t-lee,
Hee! Exactly.
@miss t-lee,
H3ll I dont know. Maybe he wears his gf’s bra from time to time.
hehehe
@Cheekie, I’m so glad someone asked this because I have lost hours of sleep pondering what that could mean
wow. 346 comments though? cotdamn.
i’ve not been here in a while but this was hilarious.
glad to be back.
and glad to see you all are still stoooopid. lol
“unforced or accidental gayness”
I shoulda never gave you visible tags.