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- hey hun. judge judy is about to come on. can you be done in three minutes?
while we’re quick to chalk these annoyances up to anything from pms to regular, garden-variety female craziness, they’re usually just there because they care.
1. regularly call you to talk about absolutely, positively, nothing
typical phone conversation between a guy and his girlfriend
her: “hey”
him: “whats going on?”
her: “nothing much. just sitting here at work, thinking about wallpaper, appliances, and jews. oh wait, did i tell you that i walked past like five mailboxes today??? five!!! in one day. can you believe that?”
him: “thats crazy”
her: “i know right? i think that broke my all-time record. oh, i almost forgot: i called to tell you that i just found that pencil i was looking for last weekend. don’t you know it was in the pocket of my peacoat the entire time?”
him: “word?”
her: “yeah. well, anyway honey, i gotta get back to work. i’ll call you back in about seven or eight minutes”
thing is, even though these relentless convos are more annoying than cat farts, you put up with them because you realize that she does this because she’s into you, and that her not feeling a strong need to give you a play-by-play of her daily minutiae means that she’ll probably soon be on to tnn¹
2. occasionally get mad for no apparent reason
beware if this is a regular occurrence, though, because you dont want her going all “jilted NFL girlfriend”² and sh*t on you.
3. subtly hate on women she thinks you’re attracted to
typical conversation between a guy and his girlfriend
him: “so who else is planning on going to the bbq?”
her: “the usual folks. kim and her crew, tonya and her man, kiesha, her boyfriend, nicole, tracey and her husband. you know, the regulars”
him: “cool. i havent seen nicole in a minute. she’s still teaching that yoga class, right?”
her: “yea, she is. she actually had to sleep in the studio for a couple weeks because her condo got infested with bedbugs”
him: “word?”
her: “yeah, and i dont even know if she got completely rid of them”
4. clean your sh*t without you asking
yeah, i know, i know, i know. how the hell is someone cleaning your sh*t without you even asking annoying?
while i agree that this sounds good in theory, try waking up one cold december saturday and not being able to find the sweats that were laying beside the bed because your girl decided to put them in the washer because they smelled funny, and then try spending the next 50 minutes trying to heat up because your anemic ass gets chilled easily, and then come back and tell me how un-annoyed you are then.
thing is, a woman will only do something like this if she’s truly into you, because even implying the word “clean” around a chick who’s lukewarm on your ass is a worse idea than the my touch³.
5. be brutally honest and kind at the same time…during sex
its annoying because, well, its just annoying as hell to hear “hey, its probably not going to happen for me tonight. its been a long day and i just want to go to sleep. its ok, though. don’t worry about it. you don’t have to stop” right in the middle of your most furious strokage, but its also endearing because her brutal orgasm honesty lets you know that she probably definitely wasn’t faking it the other times.
plus, if you didn’t completely lose your erection after she told you she’d rather play tetris on her blackberry instead of even attempting to climax, you can still finish. how cool is that??
anyway, vsb, i’m sure i’m missing some. can you name some other annoying-ass (yet endearing) things women (and men) only do if they’re truly into you?
¹the next n*gga
²seriously, when did “girlfriends” replace the police as the leading cause of a black man’s demise? can anybody tell me? did i miss a meeting or something?
³”hey, we want you all to know that we’re currently selling a much, much worse, but more expensive version of our best product. any takers?”
—the champ
Related posts:
- sh*t i just don’t get about women
- 10 things women obsess over that guys could really give two sh*ts about
- lost in translation: what men usually hear when women are talking to us
- mercy, mercy, me…please?: the four cruelest things women consistently do to men
- sadie’s suspect: four reasons why women shouldn’t pursue men
{ 217 comments… read them below or add one }
lmao @ plus, if you didn’t completely lose your erection after she told you she’d rather play tetris on her blackberry instead of even attempting to climax, you can still finish. how cool is that??
champikins, if your current gf has ever done anything remotely close to this, i have to give her a hi-five next time i see her. that is freaking hilarious. and knowing the 2 of you, definitely believable LOL. awww i love love.
anyhoo… the list is on point. def some signs that a woman is into a man even if the man thinks its annoying. i can’t think of anything else to add. then again, im struggling trying to finish this last application and im pretty sure ive read the same personal statement 5 times. *head spinning*
good night folks!!!
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
I got a feeling we in the same line of work because I’m reading apps too! LOL
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
champikins, if your current gf has ever done anything remotely close to this, i have to give her a hi-five next time i see her. that is freaking hilarious. and knowing the 2 of you, definitely believable LOL. awww i love love.
hi-five deez
@The Champ,
Wouldn’t that be painful?
Right off top?
Pop over.
More later.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
You mean showing up to your house unannounced? Naw, I don’t do that. That’s disrespectful. I try no to do anything I don’t want a person doing to me.
@legitimate_soul,
Same here. “Showing up without notice is a no-no” is probably one of the things I was raised on right along with “cleaning behind your ears”. My mama would make even her youngest and most fave sister feel
like a Jehovah’s Witnesshella salty in -3 degree weather standing outside ringing the doorbell for showing up unannounced. Think I can’t do that to a man? lolSo, nah, I wouldn’t do that either.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
surprisingly, ive never had to deal with the pop over, but i could see how that would suck, especially if any of my legions of imaginary side concubines were laying around
So my phone at work keeps track of missed calls, incoming calls and outgoing calls and I know when my wife is feeling good about us when her calls reach double digits during the day, One day no lie she called me 16 times. 16!!!
@Jaybilal, yeah, I think even as a spouse, calling that many times is a little disturbing. The least one could do is not leave a message every single time.
@Jaybilal,
lol, thing is, even though that sounds crazy, i can totally see that happening.
but, one big advantage of the advent of the text message is that sh*t like this can be avoided now
LMAO.. all of these are true
except I tend to combine the random conversation and occasionally getting mad.
ill call my hubby at work after all my g chat buddies have gotten off and gone home and he does that.. okay, Word? aww.. and then i get mad cause he aint got shyt to talk about. when i called him and I dont have shyt to talk about…
I love him soo…
coincidentally that’s the topic of my blog today…lol
check it out
@shay-d-lady,
“and then i get mad cause he aint got shyt to talk about. when i called him and I dont have shyt to talk about…”
I’m gonna go ahead and admit I’ve done the same thing too.
@MzKang,
hahhaaa…me too. He’s on the phone like “mmhmm, for real, yup, naw, ok baby” repeat x 5 before I hang up.
@shay-d-lady, GUILTY!!
After a long day of work–boss is a d!ck, 2 hour meetings and sitting next to the flatulent chick with bad breath– and I get home with my joing smelling like pickled pork she will still give me some brain, albeit she will be handling it like its a radio active weapon. But she is willing to do it nonetheless.
How is this annoying? It’s annoying because the because i know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection
@xave,
How is this annoying? It’s annoying because I know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection
***DEAD***
Women, please… you heard the man!
@xave, Its late. Sorry.
After a long day of work–boss is a d!ck, 2 hour meetings and sitting next to the flatulent chick with bad breath– and I get home with my joint smelling like pickled pork she will still give me some brain, albeit she will be handling it like its a radio active weapon. But she is willing to do it nonetheless.
How is this annoying? It’s annoying because i know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection
@xave, Umm… why dont u jus go for a quick rinse and avoid the stankface?
@Luvvie, This is supposed to be a spontaneous thing. Maybe I just like to see how tough she is. lol
@xave, I just threw-up in my mouth.
@Yeah…SO?!,
uhh yah me too lmao
that’s love.
@xave, I just thought about it. She could maybe try making it sexy and giving you a bath first and then hooking you up. That way you get pampered in more ways than one and she doesn’t have to handle it like she’s diffusing a toxic bomb.
@Hershey’s Kiss,
You’re a better lady than me girlfriend, thinking of way to make it sexy…lol
I don’t think grown arse kats should be shoving their jank in anyone’s face when they know they smell like bbq corn nuts and onions. Bathing? Um…no.
@miss t-lee, LOL! girl I can’t say that I am. I was just trying this thing called being objective. If I was really into a guy then I perhaps would do this on occasion, but I can’t claim every time. I’d more than likely just tell him to go take a shower real quick before hand. Otherwise, it’s better luck next time.
@xave,
lmfao @ “how tough she is”.
@Cheekie, It prepares her for the casting call for survivor lol
@xave, ummm
I wish a ninja would come home smelling like pickled a$$ trying to put his Dyck in my face.
that aint cute, that aint funnyand thats nasty and disrespecful.. if you t hink your shyt aint right you suppose to be like
hold up …and go handle that
thats some bullshyt
@shay-d-lady, It’s not like i asked lol! She knows you work in a high pressure, super competitive environment and she is trying to be sweet. lol
If you work a 14 hour days your a$$ will smell like it fermented…
I will get her a Haz Mat suit or something. lol
@xave, LOL! A Haz Mat?!
@xave, “How is this annoying? It’s annoying because i know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection”
THIS SH*T RIGHT HERE NICCA!!!
@BigBuck, You know it’s true! She is going to do it like she is diffusing a bio chemical bomb. lol
@xave,
“How is this annoying? It’s annoying because I know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection”
*special Holiday edition throat punch*
@miss t-lee, thanks, cause he needed that (even if he dont know it)! I wish a reggin would!
@melekaj,
Okay?!?!?
@miss t-lee, “*special Holiday edition throat punch*”
I laughed so hard I tinkled a little!
@BigBuck,
Sorry…
@miss t-lee,
“*special Holiday edition throat punch*”
AHAHA!
So, is this throat punch equal opportunity? Kinda like Virgin Mobile’s Chrismahanukwanzakah?
@Cheekie,
Yes ma’am.
You can even throw in Winter Solstice too.
It’s all encompassing.
@xave,
*blank stare…slowly blinking* O_O
@Smiley Face, Hey… If it was up to me I would tell her not to… but it’s not up to me its up to him
@Smiley Face, Hey… If it was up to me I would tell her not to… but it’s not up to me its up to him little X just won’t say no. plus if she insists i must oblige her.
@xave,
How is this annoying? It’s annoying because the because i know my joint smells like i ran a full court, and her obvious facial expression makes it hard to sustain an erection
i feel like pulling a bill simmons here and saying “yup…and these are my readers”
@The Champ, LOL… I may have to invest in the So Fresh and So dry things.
1. regularly call you to talk about absolutely, positively, nothing
2. occasionally get mad for no apparent reason
3. subtly hate on women she thinks you’re attracted to
4. clean your sh*t without you asking
5. be brutally honest and kind at the same time…during sex
And this is why I can’t date just anyone. My thoughts, in order . . .
Clingy, unstable, insecure, overbearing, and insensitive/manipulative. Maybe I need to put that call into Dr. Phil after all.
They become your parole officer/mom/career counselor. Things quickly go from, “Hey how you been, you want to hang out?” to “So did you actually go to that restaurant last Thursday with Brian and em,” or “Did you call so and so to fix your whatever,” or “I think I found a job that suits you better.” Extra attention is great . . . until I start feeling that you think my life was on the verge of collapsing and you’re the one to fix it.
@An Island,
And this is why I can’t date just anyone. My thoughts, in order . . .
Clingy, unstable, insecure, overbearing, and insensitive/manipulative. Maybe I need to put that call into Dr. Phil after all.
Get you a girl who knows the rules to the game, a good uffk buddy perhaps, forget the Dr.Phil. lol. You hit the nail on the head for me, but I think i can deal with everything on that list except the calls.. nothing worse than a female(*shots fired*) calling with nothing to say.. just wanna talk herself away.
@An Island, lingy, unstable, insecure, overbearing, and insensitive/manipulative. Maybe I need to put that call into Dr. Phil after all.
only if done in excess… you have never been bored and decided to call your boo up?
never?
you aint never had a bad day and got frustrated over some small shyt… dayum this ninja aint use the twist tie on the bread and tied the dayum ghetto knot to tight….or they didnt wipe the toothpaste off or something like that?
I think he’s just pointing out the occasional things that will happen when your comfortable in a relationship with someone that your feeling….
@shay-d-lady
No I feel you. I’m just sayin that this behavior can start EARLY in relationships (even before one really begins — except for 5) and it just annoys the fcuk out of me. You start doing that shyt before we get to date three and you gotta bounce. As far as SO’s go, this is just part of being with the person that you’re most comfortable around and who feels the same about you. But she’s gotta show me a lot before I want 10 texts a day, much less 10 calls.
@An Island, But she’s gotta show me a lot before I want 10 texts a day, much less 10 calls.
aww hell naw.. I agree with that….10? I probably call my hubby 2-3 times a day.
1 in relation to an actual need.
1 to to talk to my daughter when she gets out of school
and then the 1 random im bored joint…
@shay-d-lady
I just looked back at the post, and it’s funny ’cause my response just shows where my head’s at. This is all crazy shyt if you’re in a short-term/new relationship, cute but annoying for long-term ones. I’ll take a step back and let y’all lovebirds run the show today.
@An Island,
F*ck Dr. Phil maybe we need to go to Dr. Drew Pinski. He’s the best. Maybe the women should go too cause its usually something wrong with you and not them. (In their mind) They’re just Caring for you. LOL!
@Drake Obama
I can’t lie, “Sex Rehab” is a good show. I need to steal his technique of shooting people’s shyt down while acting like he really really cares. It would make the ultimate break up technique.
@Drake Obama,
its funny you mention dr. drew, because i think “loveline” (the mtv show with dr. drew and adam carolla) is the closest approximation to what we’re trying to do here
@The Champ,
I see where you’re coming from and have similar interest myself. Good luck to your team and Happy Holidays.
@An Island,
And this is why I can’t date just anyone. My thoughts, in order . . .
Clingy, unstable, insecure, overbearing, and insensitive/manipulative. Maybe I need to put that call into Dr. Phil after all.
lol. thing is, this is all true if its someone you just started dating. if you’re in relationship, though, its kind of expected
@The Champ
Yeah, it took me a second but I figured out that this post is for the “one month and over” crowd. Seeing as I don’t have a “winter boo,” I’ll let others speak on their current situation, or let others reminisce.
@An Island,
the “one month and over” crowd
That’s still way too early for allathat to be happening..,
We are talking relationship- relationship here. Lol! Not “dating”!
ps: I just had my first “I’m bored and want to talk about nothing” call of the day. It’s life.
@Sula
Anything longer than a month = Forever
I’m a simple-minded man. I can’t wrap my mind around the size of the universe, don’t know how to fix the health care system, and can’t understand how so many people are in long-term relationships. I know my limits, now you know mine too.
other things i do.
Cook new foods that he doesnt like because I want him to expand his horizons..
although he frowned up when I made that salad with grilled chicken, toasted almonds, cranberries, and blue cheese…and then he F!cked it up..lol
I choose chick flicks and musicals on my video rental day (we have to do separate days or else we would probably get divorced..)
badger him to go to the doctor….
wake him up when I get off work… when he’s dead asleep and snoring….and asking something mundane like
what’d yall eat for dinner?
and then getting in the bed and putting my cold feet on him..lol
@shay-d-lady,
he frowned up when I made that salad with grilled chicken, toasted almonds, cranberries, and blue cheese…and then he F!cked it up..lol
I would have too. I love salads like those.
@shay-d-lady,
tee hee hee
*raises hand* guilty
@shay-d-lady,
Oh Ok, when you like a man you stress test to gauge how much he likes you back by annoying the hell out of him. LOL! Does this give you the reassurance you want/need to continue loving him? FUN-E!
@Drake Obama, YES.
@sxyscientst,
You too? Potentially dangerous and more than likely insecure. LOL!
@Drake Obama, nah…its all fun and games (until some1 gets hurt)! If dude spazzes on me cuz I wanna tickle fight he FAILED! Annoyances can bring out the inner Ike in some dudes. U wanna know these things early.
@sxyscientst,
wake him up when I get off work… when he’s dead asleep and snoring….and asking something mundane like
what’d yall eat for dinner?
and then getting in the bed and putting my cold feet on him..lol” Shady
If you think you need to purposely shower your lover/s.o. with annoyances at the most impactful times to see how much he likes you back then you might need mental therapy. Insecurity.
If you do it to illicit a response or lack thereof to gauge if he has Ike tendencies, and you think it’s Fun then you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place and/or you might need mental therapy. Lol!
@Drake Obama, If you think you need to purposely shower your lover/s.o. with annoyances at the most impactful times to see how much he likes you back then you might need mental therapy. Insecurity.
If you do it to illicit a response or lack thereof to gauge if he has Ike tendencies, and you think it’s Fun then you probably shouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place and/or you might need mental therapy. Lol!
Sounds like Emotional Terrorism to me. The U S doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists, & neither do I.
@Drake Obama,
umm….
so I take it your not in along term relationship, huh?
@shay-d-lady,
I am. Although I’m not sure what you consider Long-Term? Does your comment Only apply to Long-Term relationships?
@Drake Obama, yes.. it does… in my case…
@Drake Obama, I mean I cant say I ever really gave a dayum about a dudes vegetable intake, cholesterol and shyt before now..
you know these are things you do because you love someone not..just some dude im kickin it with (well except the phone shyt and cold feet)
@Drake Obama,
Oh Ok, when you like a man you stress test to gauge how much he likes you back by annoying the hell out of him.
lol, seems like it, huh?
@shay-d-lady,
Dead @ cold feet…I STAND ACCUSED!
@shay-d-lady,
Oh my god, Shay! You are the patron saint of real relationships. Lol!
I am so guilty of all of the above. My dude has a limited number of vegetables he likes to eat… leave it to me to sneak spinach in everything I cook… At first, he was rolling his eyes, now when I make mac and cheese with no veggies in it he complains. Pfft, men!
@Sula, I gotta try adding veggies to the mac and cheese..
i add it to all the pasta dishes and sides…
you should have seen his face when I put that zucchini in the angel hair pasta i make..
but it was delicious…he ate the h.e.ll out of that too.
@shay-d-lady,
i’ll f* ck up some fried zucchini
i’ve personally not indulged in any of these behaviours in order to show a man i’m interested (my new tactic? just tell him straight up), but numbers 1 and 5 are pure hilarity to me.
one thing i’ve experienced recently is having a man remember with startling detail what i wore on a particular occasion (ie better than i remember myself)… apparently that’s a cute way of saying he’s interested. it just kinda creeped me out. but he’s cute so… *shrug*
@puff, I dont think you do it to show your interested.. i think these are just habits that might occur if and when your interested..
@shay-d-lady,
le sigh. these finals are stopping me from reading properly. same still applies though…
@puff, I have to say I co-sign on this with you. Don’t get me wrong, In addition to telling you how I feel there are things I do to show it, but it ain’t none of these.
@puff, be careful! I went out with a guy who remembered what I wore on occasions before we were formally introduced. It culminated with him in the bushes outside my house whispering my name and me getting a restraining order against him!
@sxyscientst,
hahahahahaha damnnnnnnnn =/ i shall proceed cautiously then (and with pepper spray)
@sxyscientst,
lol, yeah. this does sound like it should be filed under “signs he might be a stalker”
So this is not the first time I’ve heard of all these things that women do and this is not the first time that I’m left thinking the same thing. There are women who actually behave like this? I am really starting to question the whole transgendered theory cause the more I live the more I’m starting to think that I may be dude in a woman’s body because none of this applies to me–well perhaps #5 and the kindness actually depends on the variation of like I feel for you. And I honestly don’t know any women who behave like this–or at least admit it to my face. What’s even more funny about this list is that every one that you mentioned was what I had to deal with in my marriage. My ex-husband was the female. He would even ask me at random moments, “What are you thinking right now?” and get mad that I’d give him the dumb face because I would say nothing and actually mean it.
@Hershey’s Kiss, girl stop frontin’. you know you engage in all this annoying but adorable behavior.
@xave, LOL! I’d really own it if I did, but I don’t. I never have. First off, I absolutely HATE the telephone so I’m not going to call you at all. I feel like being mad takes a lot of energy so I’m definitely not going to use all that energy up on nothing. I have no reason to hate on another woman–even if you think she’s hot. I’ll probably just co-sign on it with you. I’m sure as hell not cleaning your stuff. If it’s on the floor it’s staying there til you put it somewhere else. Reason being, I recognize that if I start that habit it’ll be expected of me 20 years from now. Nope, if you want me to clean I will, but if you don’t ask, ain’t happening. Trust me, my ex would tell you. At one point he even told me he felt like he was a girl married to a man who was indifferent to her (his own words).
@Hershey’s Kiss,
If it’s on the floor it’s staying there til you put it somewhere else. Reason being, I recognize that if I start that habit it’ll be expected of me 20 years from now.
Does that part not sound a lil bit trifling to you? U dnt have to be anyone’s servant, but being nonchalant to certain tidy injunctures such as dirty clothing or random stragglings that could be disposed of, is that not kind of trife.
@The Hallway, Actually, not at all. It’s one thing if you’re my husband/SO and we share the same space. Then I’ll definitely clean and move things and I’ll even give you the courtesy of telling you where I placed/stored them. But if we’re just dating and I’m in your space . . .I’m not doing it. I don’t feel I have the right to come into your space and start moving your stuff around. If you like your stuff on the floor, then I love it. Cause really in that case, who is the trifling one: dude for leaving his stuff on the floor in the first place or me because I’m leaving his stuff exactly where it is?
@Hershey’s Kiss,
There are women who actually behave like this?
lol, im surprised to hear that there are women who dont
@The Champ, I told you, I really think I just may be a guy trapped in a woman’s body because I don’t seem to behave like the “average”/”normal” woman. I usually hate most of the lead women characters in movies and I tend to identify with the men. It’s not always, but in a lot of cases. And I tend to attract men who have more feminine traits and actually behave as you described in this particular blog and it drives me nucking futs! Go figure.
when you get included in all her life decisions… buying pads, tampons, emails all sort of stuff she plans on buying at work. I don’t mean lingerie either. I’m talking about the new drapes for the living room, new soap for the bathroom and sheets.
when you somehow arbitrarily become her girlfriend…
@xave,
lol cute list.
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean, I know she does it because she’s happy and comfortable, but i start questioning my own sex appeal. Like am I that guy? the guy that she shares pantie anecdotes with… my dad would be disappointed lol.
@xave, Boy stop trippin… who doesn’t like picking out window treatments? :-/
@Yeah…SO?!,
any man with functioning testicles
@Deviant, word up! “Hey babe, what do you like teal or lavendure?” in my mind I’m like i don’t even know the difference! And then if i say i like one she goes with the opposite.
SMDH.
@xave and deviant, I was being facetious… we know ya’ll don’t give a f*k… but it’s sweet when ya’ll participate anyway.
@xave,
Hilarious but oh, so true! Lol!
@xave,
Damn, homie, are you married?
Cause, I didn’t realize when I got married that I became Girlfriend Number One. I thought my wife would stick to asking her friends about these mundane issues, but nope, nothing it too trite or banal.
However, what I’ve found is that if chicks come to you with random ridiculousness, and you tell them they can handle that themselves, they take that as a license to start making massive decisions without your input. Yeah, I don’t care what color the new bedspread is, but if you’re going to commit the entire family to spending the holidays with your momma and them, then I want to know. Seems like women struggle with this concept.
@Big Man,
Yeah, I don’t care what color the new bedspread is, but if you’re going to commit the entire family to spending the holidays with your momma and them, then I want to know. Seems like women struggle with this concept.
LOL
@Big Man,
Its all the same to them. Its that crazy thing in them.
@Big Man, Not married yet but you learn the art of actively not listening… gets you through the day.
Lmao this stuff is too true,
I got one, When your girl is sleeping on you an she drool on your chest or sleep wit her hands in-between her legs, smooch on your face. Gross i kno but, that mess is adorable
@Mr. Gundam,
lol the sleeping with the hands between the legs is soooo me!
@Naomi,
me too! I’m so overgrown, sleeping in the fetal position w/ my hands between my thighs is the best way. And it makes you built in spooning-ready. Yes, thugs spoon. :-p
@Luvvie, exactly on the thug spoon -hands between thighs…
and then your hands are all warm so when you roll over you can hit him with the mr miyagi massage…
plus a lot of times when you are trying to cuddle your arms and shyt be all in the way..
so if y ou do it right your arms will be out the way and he can still grab a few hot spots..
LOL
@shay-d-lady, What’s the Mr. miyagi massage???? just to know the reference
@all the ladies,
im with yall!!! and like luv-duv said, its prime positioning for comfort solo or with a spooning buddy.
damn. winter has not been good to me. i cant remember the last time i spooned. *single tear falls from eye* sadness.
@Mr.Gundam
you remember when the karate kid hurt his leg at the end and Miyagi did that thunder clap and rubbed him back to good health?
lol thats the reference.. basically just a fi! a$$ massage with warm hands…lol
@Naomi, Now this I can actually co-sign! Sleeping with the hands between the thighs is so me.
@Mr. Gundam, lol @ sleep wit her hands in-between her legs,” My significant other’s place is a bit chilly 9he’s a dude that only has comforter on his bed) so i slept with my hands bet my thighs. at first he thought thought i was getting the party started
@Satya,
“thought i was getting the party started”
My former SO use to think the same thing then proceed to ask if I needed him to do that for me.
Wow @ all of us that sleep like that. Why is that such a comfortable position to sleep in?
@Mr. Gundam,
Ditto on the sleeping with hands between legs and the fetal position. It’s instinctual when it’s really cold.
@Mr. Gundam,
Yep sleeping with the hands between the legs is the position I fall asleep in on the regular.
@MzKang,
Co-sign. I thought I was the only person who does the hand tuck, lol. And yes, it does make you spoon (and fork) ready.
@Mr. Gundam,
GUILTY!!!..I can’t help it *blush* sometimes he is my haven and I get comfy and I’m out like a light…when I wake up he’s staring at me laughing, lol
Here’s an annoying thing I have done: Take care of you, but talk sh*t about you taking better care of yourself and not doing stupid ‘ish to make yourself sick. In one breath, I am quite nurturing but then I may fuss a bit about you ordering 2 milkshakes when you know your azz is lactose intolerant! I’m trying to tell you now why you “feelin it” because next time we go out, you not gonna remember this pain and do it all over again. Yeah you grown, but your grown azz is doubled over and I hate to see you in pain. It bothers me you are feeling bad. I want you feeling as good as possible.
@legitimate_soul,
me tooooo! lol my ex has the worst immune system in the world, and i swore up and down it was because of his diet. So while I’d be taking care of his sick butt, I’d be on him about the food he’d been eating and how he never drunk water. lol. It annoyed the ish out of him.. but hey. at least i was taking care of him. me loved him long time. lol.
@legitimate_soul,
good one!!!! i def can be the nurturer/nagger when it comes to a dude taking better care of his health. esp when he tryna eat ish he not ‘posed to! my ex used to act so irritated but i could tell he loved being waited on a bit extra than usual.
@legitimate_soul,
LOL…me too! Fussing and cooking at the same time, talking bout “This don’t make no dayum sense, got me in this kitchen cuz yo azz don’t wanna eat right and sh*t. I betcha next time you won’t eat that mess hmph.”
He’s sitting there trying to look remorseful but ain’t b/c he knows I was going to cook anyway! LOL
@legitimate_soul,
I hear you on that. My wifey turned situation continues to get on my ish for over drinking and not having been to the doctor in 8 years. However she will always have the gatorade, and greasy food ready for me the next day.
@legitimate_soul,
The nurturing is appreciated, except for when she doesn’t know when it’s going too far. Case in point, my most recent psycho ex and I were chillin in my favorite eatery on Galveston Island when I request my first refill of tea. Because they didn’t serve pre-sweetened tea, and she knew I would add 8 – 12 packs of the white stuff, she took it up on herself to tell the waitress nevermind on the tea…bring water instead. WTF?! I’m a grown-ass man, I’m paying, and I want TEA. In a more tactful manner I explained this to the waitress. She brought water…tip be damned.
I don’t understand this whole womanhood united stand, but whatever.
PSA: The New England Journal of Medicine indicated studies have shown that consuming sweets does NOT CAUSE diabetes. Take your hands off my TEA and let me be, but thanks for caring.
@Caballeroso,
^Now see, I do NOT agree with that. I’d be quite salty if I’m expectin’ sweet tea and someone brings me water. I am not about removing choice from any adult. My fussin’ only comes out when they make themselves sick from simple neglect and really dumb stuff. I could give a dayum about sweet tea, cause I’ma sit there and drink it right with you and prolly have some cocktails too!
@Caballeroso,
She must have thought you were 2 and incapable of making a decision for yourself.
Wow…that chick has some ovaries on her!
@legitimate_soul, LOL. I do the same. If I have had to come over, bring you meds, look at (& wipe) snot all day, possibly infect myself, cook, clean and serve you all day I have totally invested in your health. You will continuously hear crap from me. I will treat you like one of my children!!!
Both of the conversations between the guy and his girlfriend are so freakin funny!!!
Something that I do that’s annoying (yet endearing) is hit {no NFL girlfriend} my SO if I’m excited about something. I ONLY do this with a SO and have been told it’s a tad bit annoying at times but it’s understood that the hit or hits are “love taps” and never meant to harm.
@Made In Hawaii, yeah, I’m a love tapper too. Never realized it til the SO said it caught him off guard at first LOL
@Made In Hawaii, Yeah what is the hitting about? Almost every woman I have dated does this. I think it has to do with the fact that I am gigantic and therefore can take the hits, so they think its fun. But I don’t care if it hurts or not, my mind switches to an agressive mode that I have to manualy switch off. That is the annoying part. Men spend their whole lives developing an auto defense mode that activates upon being struck by pretty much anything. Don’t believe it? Hit any guy you know in the face with a cotton ball and see if he doesn’t try to throw it back as hard as he can! I have become somewhat immune to it over time, but it is a little annoying to have to constantly un-slip the dogs of war.
LMBO! This list had me rolling…
“plus, if you didn’t completely lose your erection after she told you she’d rather play tetris on her blackberry instead of even attempting to climax, you can still finish. how cool is that??”
Keeping him at home and happy. If it’s like that on a regular, there needs to be some discussion because something ain’t keeping her happy in that department. I’m just sayin…
I fall into #1. I’ll call with nothing to say just because sometimes I just want to hear his sexy voice, oh and because I care. Though I don’t call multiple times in a day.
To add to the list, constantly talking to him about taking care of himself, getting enough rest, eating right, etc. etc. It can come across as nagging, but I obviously care if you are alive or dead.
@MzKang,
I’m just sayin…
please expound and sh*t
something that i do when i’m really digging someone is to tell him my jokes. deep down i know they are lame, but i think they’re hilarious! so i usually refrain from from telling just any ol’ body. but if i’m into him, i keep the jokes coming.
@Naomi,
I do the same thing!! The lamest of jokes are saved that the person I’m digging.
This list had me laughing at 5:22am when i know i should be studying for my final!
@Naomi,
ah yes. who can forget the contrived attempts at humor? seriously, listening to some women tell jokes is like watching a baby playing with a iphone
i wake beau up to talk to him if i can’t sleep. and i ask about his family and friends, and make sure he’s touching base with them on the regular. and i actually go out of my way to cheer him up which is a miracle because i’m a notoriously moody b-i-… funnily enough don’t think i’ve ever done that for anyone else.
@kmplx,
i wake beau up to talk to him if i can’t sleep.
lol, this should be grounds for a spanking
@The Champ,
Hold on I got one more,
This is for people in good relationships: When u and your SO is trying to have “Baby-making practice” or right in the middle of it and one of yall makes a joke that is damn funny it ends up killing the mood.
In your fav position both of you cant stop laughing cus you said “do the boot do!! do the booty do!!!!”
Lmao
@Mr. Gundam,
“When u and your SO is trying to have “Baby-making practice” or right in the middle of it and one of yall makes a joke that is damn funny it ends up killing the mood. ”
Yep…this is great, and hilarious.
@Mr. Gundam, LOL…yessir, lol
@Mr. Gundam,
Hilarious!! Good one.
Ok so after 4 attempts to add my 69 cents to this topic; 2 ending with my router calling me the N word, 1 Internet Explorer error, and 1 time typing it all out just to accidently hit the back button on my mouse and loose it all, I will just say…….COSIGN….and sh*t.
Yeah Iam too lazy to rewrite what I said before. Don’t judge me.
co-sign cooking new stuff, badger him to go to the doctor and put my cold feet on him. as per ms. wendy williams you’re a friend in my head! lol
@Rapture,
yes on the cold feet!
She’s into you if she underpins the majority of her life’s happiness on the status of your Relationship.
She’s into you if she wants to grow or style her hair in a way she thinks will please you. When things go south she’ll usually cut it but if she grows it out she’s digging somebody and hopefully it’s You.
She’s into you if she transfers the responsibility of what she chooses to do for you To you. It may be something that you really didn’t want or need. Later she might attempt to send you on a guilt trip when she reminds you that: The only reason I did thus and such is because (insert why she did something For You but maybe more to make her feel better)
She’s into you when she allows you to do something you like without interruption but you have to schedule it first.
She’s into you if she buys you things that enhance her image.
@Drake Obama,
***filing under “comments that seem like they belong to another, closely-related entry”***
Yep this list is on point.
I’m definitely not cleaning or cooking for some random kat, just not gonna happen.
I forgot to add, my homegirl has a mytouch and she hates that mofo, I’m glad I got the comeback…plus it’s purple and it’s cute.
@miss t-lee, yup. Dee doesn’t cook unless she DIGS you.
It’s funny because #2 happened last month. It was all because in the middle of the night while I was asleep I rolled away from her and had my back to her. I woke up to her angry because she couldn’t sleep since I wasn’t holding her. Of course it didn’t help that I asked why she was angry over bacon.
#4 was a threat to me. We’re at the point in our relationship where I was willing to let her be at my place without me being there so of course she hit me with “As soon as you leave, I’m cleaning up this place” which in turn to me sounded like “When you leave I’m molesting the hell out of your home organization.”
I think she’s into you when she starts buying you things. Sure it’s cool that she picked you up a tie that she thought matches your eyes, but that’s just the tip of the matching outfits to the family dinner iceberg.
@D-weezy,
“I woke up to her angry because she couldn’t sleep since I wasn’t holding her.”
Hmm… methinks my man found this blog. lol
@D-weezy,
” It was all because in the middle of the night while I was asleep I rolled away from her and had my back to her. I woke up to her angry because she couldn’t sleep since I wasn’t holding her. ”
I don’t get how dudes do this. Trying to fall asleep and hold a woman in bed is mad uncomfortable. My ineptness at this is one of the reasons my last relationship ended.
@Humble_One,
Once my arm goes numb, I’m done.
@Humble_One,
I don’t get how dudes do this. Trying to fall asleep and hold a woman in bed is mad uncomfortable
this only works if you’re extremely tired. like “could fall asleep with a cat sitting on you neck” type of tired
@D-weezy,
“I woke up to her angry because she couldn’t sleep since I wasn’t holding her.”
Haha, that reminded me of when I woke up angry at my ex because I had a dream that he called me a b*.
YO cosign with you, 2009 has been a year filled with ni99as being ruined by they women.
Chris Brown, Arturo Gatti, Steve McNair, Tiger Woods, Chris Henry…
Thats one helluva list.
@Dorian G., Uh you can take Chris,Steve(R.I.P) and Tiger off this list… “you brought dis on yo’seeeeeeeelf”!
@Yeah…SO?!,
LOL I mean anyhow you slice it their downfall can be DIRECTLY tied to a woman.
@Dorian G., Yeah nevermind they made HORRIBLE decisions…- niqqas *smh*
@Yeah…SO?!,
If they ain’t meet said women, they wouldn’t have met their demise. Not saying they didn’t make poor decisions but still its kinda jarring when you think about it.
@Dorian G., ok… I’ll let you have Steve… but Chris and TIGER(seriously – Tiger?)– GTFOH
@Dorian G., actually more like ruined by their OWN doing……..
@OrangeStar616,
Exactly!
“your most furious strokage” You dudes are a fool for that one!
Oh and that whole “jilted BFL girlfriend” thing is $%*# up! Too soon man, Too soon.
@David,
welcome and sh*t
all those were good and true for the most part every woman is diff and every individuals Love style is diff how they show and how they best receive it..the Five Love Languages is an excellent book for couples and just folk in general.
I’d like to add, I write for him when I am into him, I share my thoughts, feelings creatively thru unexpected lil delights like personalized cards and poems etc……haven’t written to that degree in years tho LLS
@OrangeStar616, I’m the same way and like you, it has been a while since I’ve been inspired to put pen to paper for somebody. But forget Hallmark, writing for you is definitely one of my things I do to show much I care.
I’ll find some way to be interested in the things he’s most interested in…like for instance Mr Mister is a musician so one time I found some sheet music of some songs he likes, now I don’t read music but *shrugs* so anyway I sent him some music but…..for a guitar..Mr Mister plays keyboard…lol…he thought it was cute and laughed his azz off, after I was finished blushing I had to laugh, too. He stills brings out his guitar music every now and then and I still laugh at myself.
@Smiley Face,
*snickering*
Too cute, you tried!!!
@Smiley Face,
Yeah this was a genuinely fly attempt that Failed but didn’t. I Like! ( :
I get whiny if I really want him to do something… sometimes it works- sometimes… it doesn’t :-/.
@Yeah…SO?!, ok… so maybe whining is just annoying- who knew?(rhetorical :-/)
Unrelated issue once again, what’s the deal with the pictures in the corner of the message box? How do you do that?
@BigBuck
http://en.gravatar.com/ – This should do the trick
@BigBuck,
lol, i have no idea. i was wondering that myself
“thing is, a woman will only do something like this if she’s truly into you, because even implying the word “clean” around a chick who’s lukewarm on your ass is a worse idea than the my touch”
Hey!!! Why you hating on My Touch? It’s a good phone, could be better, but it’s definitely not the worst idea for a phone that title is held by Sidekick.
Endearing things a man does when he is into as I am experiencing now. He keeps calling you almost everyday abd dating you after 8 months even when you give him nothing sexual at all and only kissed him once i that 8 months. He is totally willing to wait for you till whenever even though he could tell you are only lukewarm about him, he still has hope. How cute. I hope he is getting his kicks elsewhere cause I don’t care.
@Blue Skyez,
He is totally willing to wait for you till whenever even though he could tell you are only lukewarm about him, he still has hope. How cute. I hope he is getting his kicks elsewhere cause I don’t care.
LOL! You had me right up til the end.
@Blue Skyez,
“He is totally willing to wait for you till whenever even though he could tell you are only lukewarm about him, he still has hope. How cute. I hope he is getting his kicks elsewhere cause I don’t care.”
….and the “That’s F*cked up Award” goes to……(drum roll)….Blue Skyez.
@Blue Skyez,
Hey!!! Why you hating on My Touch? It’s a good phone, could be better, but it’s definitely not the worst idea for a phone that title is held by Sidekick.
because the my touch is nothing but a g-1 without a keyboard. its like if north face just started selling hood-less parkas, but charged you a higher price for em
@Blue Skyez,
Okay I am late as hell, *but I don’t care*, LOL… Just wanted to cosign on the “that’s fu(ked up” sentiment. *reallydoe*
HILARIOUS!!! The random pointless calls definitely are annoying. I will confess that I have been on both ends of that call.
What annoys me:
*Forcing me to cuddle during a soccer game. Soccer isnt an American fav for a reason!! Turn the station to a REAL football game.
*Calling me into the bathroom to keep him company while he showers. It would be fun if I were joining him in the shower but NOPE he just wants me in there so he can chat. I sit there in his semi-clean bathroom thinking about the mold spores I am inhailing & how my make-up will be all runny when I leave out.
*Cooking me up a pot of ‘scrap meat’ stew. He calls me all excited about some stew he’s cooked just for me & there is always a strange cut of meat involved (cow’s foot, chicken feet, turkey butt etc.)
*Wanting to have a major convo in the morning. I am not a morning person. I dont want to chat in the morning. I just want to slam stuff, curse & rush out the door like a mad woman. Good morning Sweetie my a$$.
@Yaa,
sCRAP meat stew…..lol.
@Yaa,
*Wanting to have a major convo in the morning. I am not a morning person. I dont want to chat in the morning. I just want to slam stuff, curse & rush out the door like a mad woman. Good morning Sweetie my a$$.
I knew it wasn’t just me. I had to give mine a start time to stop him from calling me when I’m getting ready for work. One, I’m getting ready for work, I don’t have time to chit chat with you; and Two, before 9am is too damn early to be calling anybody. Three, I really don’t give a shyt that you wake up at 6am every morning with no alarm clock (why? is this something to brag about?) and at work by 7:30, you chose that shyt, I didn’t. Call me after 9.
If I ask you what you want for dinner…that is like the neon flashing light atop the Hubble! And you’d BETTER have an answer, otherwise I get offended…lol!
If I’m willing to part with some fund~age on one of your essentials (go 1/4 on a utility and whatnot), it’s time to lock me down, because you’ve jumped 7 of my 10 finely constructed emotional walls…
If you find me in your nether regions prior to a shower without the dramatic eye roll and deep sigh, it’s time for you to change your last name to mine!
If I come up with more…I’ll comment later…lol
@Tenchi,
If you find me in your nether regions prior to a shower without the dramatic eye roll and deep sigh, it’s time for you to change your last name to mine!
oh gosh
I will admit to being guilty to #2, #3 and #5. But it’s just because I’m really into him …
can you name some other annoying-ass (yet endearing) things women (and men) only do if they’re truly into you?
Stare at you while your driving or just minding your business
Its been said before but call you without ish to talk about
Cuddling for hours without moving. I don’t understand how women can lay on top of you for hours and not move. When you try to move or switch positions she wants asks “whats wrong” or “where are you going”
@Humble_One,
Stare at you while your driving or just minding your business
Cosign…my SO does this while we’re eating! Initially, I’m side eyeing dude like, “da hell man?!” But I eventually reached the understanding that there is something irresistibly seductive about the way food enters my mouth…
(apparently)
I listened to yall talkin’ on the podcast, and Champale you DO have an accent. But it’s not Philly – it’s more Valley Girl + Nova Scotia. (i.e. ya sound like an Abercrombie and Fitch wearin’ white boy) Still love ya though.
@RedBeanzNRice on a Diet,
“But it’s not Philly – it’s more Valley Girl + Nova Scotia. (i.e. ya sound like an Abercrombie and Fitch wearin’ white boy) ”
Ok, I need to hear this, ASAP. lol
Gotta catch up on them podcasts. I’m gettin’ there, I’m gettin’ there…
@RedBeanzNRice on a Diet,
love deez
@The Champ,
Ok, Carlton Banks.
*dying* @ the convo for number 3. It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true. It’s so damn true.
The Mrs. does the nagging ’bout my health; called me at work with a mouth full of nothingness to share; and she has sonned me with the “You did your best, now finish up so I can get some sleep” jawn too! So allow me to add (’bout to get maad personal):
Stays on me about exanding my side-bidness and doing more jobs (I install TV’s and sh*t) but gets mad when I am out all night doing more jobs.
Asks me for my opinion on a situation she needs help with, but when I give her a ‘cut & dry’ or “black & white” choice that will resolve her situation, she always says “it’s not that ‘cut & dry’ or ‘black & white’ when I CLEARLY just outlined why it’s just that.
Basically, her indecisiveness SLAYS me more than regular chicks slay black athletes careers/lives. (too soon?)
@Brotha Tech,
“Basically, her indecisiveness SLAYS me more than regular chicks slay black athletes careers/lives. (too soon?)”
Dayum…
Too soon. At least give it 72 hrs. next time..lol
@miss t-lee, uh yeah, co-sign
@Brotha Tech,
Women never, NEVER want you to provide solutions for their problems. NEVER.
They want you to listen like you care and then co-sign whatever decision they are going to make. Or, they want you to take over the whole problem as your own and take it off their hands.
They do not, I repeat, THEY DO NOT want constructive criticism. They do not want detailed plans on how to find an equitable solution. Providing those two things will only make you get involved in a fight you never intended to have, and force you to endure at least two days of desert d*ck.
Never engage them in this manner.
@miss t-lee
@Yeah…SO?!
I figured as much lol! Try this:
Her indecisiveness SLAYS me more than spiteful ex wives/baby mommas slay a black athlete’s W2 statements? (tax season is upon us)
@Brotha Tech,
Better.
@miss t-lee,
lol @ this exchange.
@miss t-lee, muuuuuch better…
I am guilty of calling for no reason. One thing that will really let you know I’m feeling you, but will more than likely annoy da h*ll outta you is inviting you to my family functions.
@Sane,
only if momma can’t cook
@Sane, I love going to family functions if I am feeling her like that. If anything you will be the one annoyed because your mama will like me too much and start taking up for me after that! LOL!
Brotha Tech: I am guilty of what your girl does. Usually when I do that, I just want my man to LISTEN whilst I get said problem off my chest and not FIX the problem for me.
and yes.. too soon, dude!! lol (well, not really, but.. )
@SistaGirlMom,
welcome and sh*t
I can’t stand when the new guy (because it is ALWAYS the new guy) shows up where I’m hanging out with my friends. What the hell you doing here?
@becoming a better me,
welcome and sh*t
Keeping me in the crab claw while sleeping. The crab claw his when,not only his arm is wrapped around me, but his legs as well. Not sure how he manages to do this. I’ll go to the bathroom on purpose, just to break free..only for him grab me again.
@La Bakir,
lol, sounds like he’s practicing mma moves on you
LOL! So, true! I call for nothing all the time…..Seriously, don’t get too annoyed with us gentlemen. We miss you and just want to hear your voice…its that simple. We love you.
Ha! I got the picture thing going! Thanks Brotha Tech!
@BigBuck
That’s what I do homie!
@Brotha Tech, I am an IT guy myself but somehow I never heard of this Gravatar thing, it’s cool though.
Definitely co-sign #1.
Over the summer I had a girl call me and the
monologueconversation went over 45 minutes with me saying literally nothing except “Uh huh,” Oh word,” and “Yeah.”I ended up putting her on speaker and sitting the phone down while me and my boy played a couple games of FIFA or something.
Co-signing this post…fa’ real.
I like the way that you made fun of us in an endearing way! I think.
“subtly hate on women she thinks you’re attracted to”
co-sign
My girl especially likes to knock any women she knows I was talking to before we got together.
“She wears too much makeup. She;s cute if you’;re into the porn star/Pam Anderson vibe.”
“She needs to put up a new Facebook pic. That one makes her look a little flat and I can see her pits.”
“I’m glad you found me. You needed to upgrade baby”