a running joke with panama and i is that i’m a diplomat. not in the jimmy carter or freaky zeeky sense, but the guy who always tries to play the mediator, extinguishing proverbial fires whenever needed (if p’s the yin to my yang, i guess this would make him the arsonist. or not. damn. this worked much better in my head. forget i even said it.).
depending on your point of view, this can be described as either “grounded” and “level-headed” or “non-confrontational” and “passive-aggressive”. in theory, relationship-wise, this should be a great quality for someone to possess. who wouldn’t want to be with a person they know probably isn’t going to argue, is basically always optimistic, and will always attempt to find the most practical solution in any situation, right?
well, if you informally polled each woman that i’ve been at least somewhat seriously involved with, they’d probably all say that this (along with the “night whispers”) was easily their least favorite part of me. the same ingredient in my blood that allows me to be “diplomatic” can be a serious relationship irritant
i’m the guy who seriously might just fall asleep while my girl is having a “passionate” and “intense” discussion with me in bed.
i’m the guy who strongly feels that if someone is able to make me show emotion, i’ve lost (admittedly though, i have no idea what would represent “winning” in this case).
i’m the guy who’s heard some variant of “you know, i had no idea you we’re even attracted to me, at least until after we had sex on your parents porch” at least 10 different times.
i’m the guy who’s broken up seemingly out of nowhere with at least two different people after getting finally fed up with issues that i could have very easily nipped in the bud, but instead chose to stick my head in the proverbial sand and ignore em, thinking they would go away.
this is a part of me that i’m consciously trying to work on, the biggest personal quality that i currently take off the table
so, grown and slutty sexy people of vsb.com, on your relationship resumes, which attributes would you list in the “negatives“, “work in progress“, or “damn…i’m f*cking nuts” column? don’t be shy or scurred. we’re all family here and sh*t
—the champ
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{ 337 comments… read them below or add one }
First of all, after all this time I have known you (and shared TMI with you) I have always been surprised as to why a lady you were courting would not like such a nice young fellow as you. but now that you explain it, I guess that could make sense. LOL.
Anyway, since you’re feeling hoest and open, I will follow suit. *closes eyes*
negatives:
I have bouts of low self esteem more often than I probably should, over the dumbest stuff.
work in progress:
I just don’t care all that much about dating anymore. Apathy, much?
damn….I’m f*cking nuts:
I overthink every situation that potentially involves me and the opposite sex.
But you knew this already!
“I have bouts of low self esteem more often than I probably should, over the dumbest stuff.”
Liz, you’re not alone on this one.
“But you knew this already!”
i did, lol…but i thank you for sharing and shit
Liz you are right on the money with “damn….I’m f*cking nuts:
I overthink every situation that potentially involves me and the opposite sex.”
I do the same thing, and I try not to every time, but somehow I just can’t help it. I tend to overthink situations and try to find the deeper meaning in things that people say, instead of just listening and relaxing–I guess the journalist in me is always trying to decode what someone is saying to me. I can’t help it, you can’t take everything at face value these days.
Yeah, the only thing that keeps me from doing this so much is to get distracted by other things (work, family, life). The more idle time I have the more I am overthinking something about some guy lol. It’s all good though, I am coming out of it slowly but surely. I think it’s my apathy taking over.
@ Liz…”I overthink every situation that potentially involves me and the opposite sex.”
I don’t think this makes you nuts. It’s too common to make you nuts. Funny, men always say we do this but no one ever has a solution on how to stop.
“Funny, men always say we do this but no one ever has a solution on how to stop.”
dont overanalyze. stop inventing lines to read between. we are really not that difficult to figure out.
“dont overanalyze. stop inventing lines to read between.”
Hmm…I will ponder your statements the remainder of the afternoon and the rest of the evening to determine their deeper meanings and how each is manifested in my life. Then I will respond tomorrow. lol
Naw, but actually…that helped.
LOL! @ QUEEN.. Now that was a clever-@ss response! HAAA!
“I overthink every situation that potentially involves me and the opposite sex.”
Isn’t that called “being a woman”?
Wow, I should be in bed.
One of my negatives would be that I’m very guarded and/or cautious. Very. The few guys that I’ve been semi to seriously involved with couldn’t really say for sure how I felt about them (good or bad).
I’m working on this whole being more relaxed/open thing.
This is so me! So many guys have told me to loosen up.
arrrgh…working on it too
Were you always this way?? Or do you remember any dudes where you just let it all hang out?
Uuuum, once. And that took a couple of years to happen. But the sad thing is, he was an azzhole so it was a waste anyway.
Wow. That is me to a t. That and overanalyzing everything is a very frustrating combination. I’m working on it though.
This one is hard … pretty damn close to perfect (does arrogance count?).
Uh … well … naw … perfection!
how ’bout, you’re a liar?
LOLLLLLL. JK
My negative would be I have relationship A.D.D. – can’t focus on one female for that relationship… and I’m selfish.. only when it comes to what I want long term.
There ya go….
Actually … this I can agree with. I’ve definitely talked about my relationship ADD before … maybe just haven’t found the prototype yet.
i couldn’t have said it better myself!!! i can’t keep still in a relationship long enough for it to truly fester or grow!! if i see something i don’t really care for in the person, i’m gone and most of the time it’s without notice!!!
i also suck at showing emotions!! when you have none, how do you show them?? it’s not that i don’t care, but i know i do not care about the issue as much as you and won’t get my knickers in a knot like you will!!
i’m not too big on PDA!! its just not me!! doesn’t mean i don’t like you, but i hate when other people are doing it, so why would i be a hypocrite??
i like my space!! we don’t have to be around each other 24/7/365/366 in a leap year!! i will grow tired of you even more quickly than normal!! its as if you lit the candle at both ends; the light, which may be bright, will last but so long!!
i’m not the conventional romantic guy!! you’ll get flowers, candy, gifts, etc. (and not just on V-day or B-day), but don’t expect too much!! you will be disappointed, and then we will have to refer to the top paragraph again, as well as the next one!!
i’m non-confrontational!! i don’t want to fight about it, argue about it, whatever!! mainly, i’m tired of proving you wrong; so therefore, i will let you bask in your ignorance (all while standing 2ft back and 3ft to the right, so as to not be guilty by association or proximity)!!!!
i have no concept of time!! i have 5 watches and a clock on my cell phone and in the car, yet it does not mean that i will be on time!! if it is after the second date, you should know this by now, so get over it!!
there might be a few more but i’ll let this be it for now!!
@Don. I feel you on that “time” stuff. I’m getting much better at it though. As far as PDA goes, it would be nice if I had more of that in my life. I’m all about feeling validationand I think PDA gives you just that.
I wont my man to boast and brag about the fact that I belong to him. Now, don’t grab my A$$ and try to bone me in front of everybody. (I said ‘bone’ LOL!) But, hold my hand, touch my lower back, put your arm around me, lay up under me, DAYUM! I’m getting mad now
@ el….its not that i won’t brag or boast about the relationship, but i won’t be the people on the blanket in front of us watching e.t. at screen on the green!! we can touch for a little while and hold hands for a sec, but when i let go, don’t take it the wrong way!! either my hand has cramped up, your palms are too sweaty or whatever, can i please have my hand back for a sec!! God gave it to ME, so can i have it back for a sec??
“either my hand has cramped up, your palms are too sweaty or whatever, can i please have my hand back for a sec!! God gave it to ME, so can i have it back for a sec??”
LMAO!!
@Don.You can only have it back for a sec. Wipe it off or shake it off. Do what you need to do to get comfortable and then resume holding hands. **ROLLING MY EYES AT YOU**
“i have no concept of time!! i have 5 watches and a clock on my cell phone and in the car, yet it does not mean that i will be on time!!”
you know what, i’m surprisingly anal about time. this has also been an issue in relationships before. one woman actually got mad at me for actually calling her at 12 (like i said i would) instead of assuming she’d need an extra minute or two to get “ready for the call”
i tried to be punctual, but then i wondered as to why should i be on time or early for someone who will still be another 20 minutes in the mirror trying to get ready!! i might as well take my time, she is!!
I’m with you on this one. I am the girlfriend that is fine seeing her man 3 times a week. I need my space for me time and other folk time for the other 4. I can’t be under someone’s nutsack cuddling 8/25/367. DamnAT. I got shit to do.
“I can’t be under someone’s n*tsack cuddling 8/25/367. DamnAT. I got shit to do.”
F-ing HILARIOUS!!!!!! LMAO! !!!!!!!!! (the word n*t sack really put this comment over the top)
*Wednesday Evening Prayer Service*
For real…give me some time to miss you dawg.
I was in a long distance relationship for 3.5 years while I was in college and I enjoyed seeing him twice a month b/c I had ample time to miss him.
yes….give me time to miss you!!! i was in a long distance relationship with a woman who lived in l.a. and while we enjoyed our two weekends out of a month visits to each other…we fo’damnsho enjoyed the time we spent apart (or at least i did
)!!!
@ Ethan. Must be something about your name starting with an “E” I get that “selfish” label A LOT.
@ Elenda It might be.. i’ve been that way for a long time.. unless it comes to my kids..
wow…you gettin’ all personal and ish Champ. Here goes…
I’m the girl who remembers everything. My memory is like a sponge. In a relationship this is a good thing because I remember birthdays, your favorite foods, your likes/dislikes, anniversaries, traumatic occurences in your life (so you never have to RE-explain to me why you feel sensitive about certain things), what you’d like for xmas, what you like in the bedroom, etc.
However, I also remember the time you were late to pick me up on new years eve, the story you told me about that girl you dissed just a month before you met me, the sexual details of all of your past love affairs that you casually shared with me when we were first dating, and everything you ever said to me out of anger that hurt my feelings. I dunno, perhaps it’s the writer in me but sometimes I wish I didn’t have such a good memory…and I’m sure the guys I’ve dated at one time or another wished the same. “Get over it!” is a popular sentiment expressed to me by the opposite sex…and I remember all the times they said that too. (i feel so exposed now)
Girl! This flaw should go in my “work in progress” column. I am doing my best to work on it, but yeah, I will remember EVERYthing you ever did to hurt my feelings :-\
Girl, memory like an elephant. I feel you!
@Miss Patterson. Dudes WISH I could remember half of the stuff you do. “What, when did you tell me you hate wearing the color black?” “Oh, you are alergic to tomatoes, my bad, more for me.” “Oh, you have to work today, my bad, I forgot” LOL!
LMAO Elenda. I’m bout that senile too.
Elenda, you, myself and Luvvie just don’t give a shit. it’s not that i cant’ remember, it’s that i’m not trying to remember all that trivial shit. my friends say i got alzheimers and i tell them: betya i don’t forget my way to the bank. shit is so piscomous. i had a standing joke with my ex. i would ask her: what’s your name? do i owe you anything?
I’m bossy…I’m the first girl to scream on a track…uhh…not so much bossy as extremely opinionated and I have a tendency to be manipulative…I’m working on this. I can be a kinda a bully…this is why I need a man with very few punk tendencies (I’d still need him to be kinda a punk about some things) to keep me in check.
I’m a damn show-off…I looove being the center of attention. This is not going anywhere…I need a man who’s cool with this (I think that makes him “B” and I’m an “A”) cause I need every single foot candle of the spotlight…in public that is. It’s kinda like the Sasha/Beyonce doppelganger…on stage that girl is a beast (uhh, thundergoat right Champ?) but off it she seems the sweet little doting wifey to Jay-Z.
I’m growing more and more selfish everyday that I’m single…sigh. I’m only generous now out of obligation to maintain the balance and keep from becoming a self-centered prick…not cause I really really wanna give but because I don’t want people to think I’m an ass. Does this make me an ass? Just kidding, I DO like giving…it’s just easy to forget to think of others besides me lol…okay I will quit now.
“I’m growing more and more selfish everyday that I’m single…sigh. I’m only generous now out of obligation to maintain the balance and keep from becoming a self-centered prick…not cause I really really wanna give but because I don’t want people to think I’m an ass.”
I’m so there. Additionally, I’m intolerant and extremely judgemental. I mean even the good guys can’t get a break. Once one finally breaks through that hard outer coating to dating me I can be extremely indifferent. I shall overcome…
“I’d still need him to be kinda a punk about some things”
what things?
oh, and, you know, i don’t know if we can call her the thundergoat anymore, lol
Screw giving. Giving is for punks!
@Treezy. TWIN? Is that you? Man, I am the attention-getter too and the longer I am unmarried the more selfish and stubborn I get. Oh, and I am also sooooooooo competitive.
Treezy waxes Kelis-ish: “I’m bossy”
khan waxes jigga-ish: “Im so Bossy, bit** get off me, trick get off me, you cant get shit off me. i’m so flossy, no sixes all squeezed, laid back, maybach, don’t even talk to me.” (yawning bitches)
So I thought long and hard about this one(the time it took to read the other 6 comments) and I have to say that I’m that HOTNESS!!!
Trying to get better with the dismissive and indifferent thing but men seem to use it as encouragement to do better than the next guy…so I’m not really sure why I should change it…other than knowing that I should.
I am entirely too rational though…the thing that makes a man fall in love with me is the same reason he leaves. No man likes to be reminded of how irrational he is all the time, and since I have a correlating example for errthing, he rarely proves me wrong. In other words, men find it hard to argue and win with me, so after a while they don’t even bother, which eventually leads to indifference. *sighing* Curse my analytical skills.
I am learning however to just let a man be right from time to time without poking holes in his theory…its evolution at its finest.
But all in all I’m that hotness…the fellas LOVE me!!!
“In other words, men find it hard to argue and win with me, so after a while they don’t even bother, which eventually leads to indifference. *sighing* Curse my analytical skills.”
you know, maybe its not about arguing and winning. most men (at least men that i know) don’t like to argue at all, regardless of who’s winning or losing or whatever.
I’m sure you’re right, but I’m not the type to sit around and let things fester. I express my dislikes about something so that he knows not to do it in the future. I try to extend the same courtesy to him, but if my request seems illogical we go into the rationality behind it debates.
And of course I see logic in my requests so we normally go around and around until I either say the infamed “nevermind,” or he does…and minues later I digress and am over it. He however is still heated and hates that I can brush it off after making a big deal about it in the first place.
Either way I know my flaws and although I don’t get into screaming matches I do express my discontent more often than I probably should.
“although I don’t get into screaming matches I do express my discontent more often than I probably should.”
Ditto, and I’m still not convinced this is a flaw. I think festering, unspoken issues and resentment is worse than putting it out there. If it’s not out there, how is it ever gonna get fixed?
I feel that way too…but apparently we can let some things slide. That is a lesson I’m learning as we speak.
Frequently expressing discontent = Nit-picking
Nobody likes a nit-picker.
“Frequently expressing discontent = Nit-picking
Nobody likes a nit-picker.”
***passover***
Oh I forgot the damn i’m fucking nuts:
Even when winning is illogical and comes with no prize, losing is still not an option…yep that logic is definitely the crazy in me.
Same here. Way too rational for some people.
Family, huh? The same kinda family that’s gonna whisper among themselves about me until I return to the table???
Negatives:
I love hard. I’m willing to let my guard down and show a guy exactly who I am… He may not like me, but at least I don’t wait until the 5th month to reveal my vanity and my burping habit.
I tell the truth and nothing but…we’ve already run into the ground that men take the word of women a little too seriously. I like my blunt honesty and if I’m a little too tactless for you, ummm… well?
Work in progress:
“When I need attention I tend to nag…” and pout (a little)
Damn I’m f*cking nuts!:
I into love in the fastlane…I fall hard and I fall fast. That’s scared away quite a few guys.
Feelin the ‘Flaws and All’ reference. Love that song.
“Family, huh? The same kinda family that’s gonna whisper among themselves about me until I return to the table???”
“I love hard. I’m willing to let my guard down and show a guy exactly who I am…”
Yeh, I’ve had problems with this in the past too. I find that it’s really only a negative if it’s NOT mutual. One way to curb sprung-ness is to fake indifference…i’m kidding that ish don’t work.
@Miss P. “Yeh, I’ve had problems with this in the past too. I find that it’s really only a negative if it’s NOT mutual. One way to curb sprung-ness is to fake indifference…i’m kidding that ish don’t work.”
It does suck when it is not mutual; however, for some dumb reason, I never change or match my mate. I still tell it all and it always comes back to bite me.
@Vitamin Be. I thought I was the only one left that falls hard. I have know idea what the “wall” is or how to use it. I will tell everybody EVERYTHING I am a open book. Who cares if you know what I did last summer? So?
what’s the “wall”?
@Miss Patterson. It’s an invisible barrier that people put up to keep others from penetrating their thoughts or inner feelings. When people say “I have a problem letting people in” they really have a wall up blocking someone from entering or getting close enough. It’s a defense mechanism.
oh…duh! i feel silly that i even asked that question. oops.
I don’t know why men get all nervous and start lacing up their sneakers when all I’m doing is EXACTLY what they ask for….i.e. “All I want is a girl to open and honest with me…”
Sidebar: why do men ask for stuff they really don’t want? I’ve had guys tell me that they want to wife me, talking all that good stuff and when I start acting like and expecting the behavior most women I know equate with the wifey title, yall start acting nuts saying we’re moving too fast.
(Last post before i go on vacation for a week…)
My biggest issue.. always being labeled the “sister-friend-homegirl- type” instead of the girlfriend-lover- type..lol
I dont know why it keeps happenening that way..i guess i give off that vibe..lol
All i know is that its annoying..
Ugh maybe i need a makeover..lol
Do they make a tv show like Made (on MTV) for 30ish people?? lol
“Do they make a tv show like Made (on MTV) for 30ish people?? lol”
*another pending vsb.com project*
my biggest flaws for sure are that i’m a slob, i can be a bit self-absorbed (i’m an only child), i’m judgmental. i’m an introvert. and i have some life-long mental health issues that i’m just now figuring out and learning how to recognize and manage.
Good one, i’m not the neatest chick in the world either. And as an only-child i’m not selfish, but I do look at everything from a ‘how does this affect me’ point of view. I don’t do it to others detriment, but it’s a consideration. But really, sometimes i think the only-child thing gets a bad rap…aren’t most people like that?
But really, sometimes i think the only-child thing gets a bad rap…aren’t most people like that?
Nope, just us only children. Growing up, it was all about us. I used to say ‘I am not selfish, I am just used to having certain things a certain way and dont see the benefit and compromising on that.’ My thought process was, ‘I’m covered. I got mine. Dude, get yours.’ Now, I just say eff it, when it comes to certain things..I am selfish and I am ok with that.
well, i tried LOL.
I don’t have (much) of a problem compromising, but i notice that when I do make a particularly large compromise, i do feel like someone needs to give me a medal or something, or like they ‘owe’ me. That can’t be attractive
lolol. I am the same way. You need to acknowledge that I made this compromise. Can I get a thank you or something? lolol
“i notice that when I do make a particularly large compromise, i do feel like someone needs to give me a medal or something, or like they ‘owe’ me. That can’t be attractive”
lol…yeah. this can get someone “benchwarmer” status really quick
LOL…damn! I think almost always having to make huge compromises on things that are important to me is a sign the relationship isn’t for me. of course, i just started believing this a few months ago so we’ll see how that goes…
ForReal, This is a great one…I’m the exact same way.
I have been hanging it over my wife’s head for years that:
1. I pay all the bills
2. I didn’t go back to school so that she could finish her PhD and not have to live like a student.
It’s almost like I make sacrifices just so that I can be like “See how good of a man I am? You betta recognize, fool!”
Thanks ForReal for making feel like a true sh*thead.
LOL…i do what I can
I’m sure your good qualities far outweigh your bad…i know mine do
Yay!!! You’re back!!! *Pulling out the streamers*
welcome back D*Stroy!!!
@D*Stroy…damn baby…you SHOULD feel like a sh*thead for that…(making stink face and nodding) good job ForReal…(chest bump)
My biggest issue would have to be my temper. I have much better control over it in my older years of course now, but usually when I’m in a relationship…that person knows the button to push to get me to snap off… then folks wanna label a sistah “crazy” for it. Go figure.
Negatives:
1. Temper
2. Mood swings w/out explanation
Work In Progress:
1. My spoiled rotten behavior
2. Being anal
Damn I’m f*cking nuts!:
1. Have smashed a couple windows and destroyed private property in the past for someone lying about cheating on me – so I guess this could be labeled as “crazy” tendencies when provoked.
“1. Have smashed a couple windows and destroyed private property in the past for someone lying about cheating on me – so I guess this could be labeled as “crazy” tendencies when provoked.”
**making mental note to never date redbone honey**
@ Champ. LOL. As soon as I read her name, I knew she was psycho. No offense Red but any and everyboy I know who has “red” in their nick name has a bad a$$ temper. But it’s all good. **Hug yourself**
“No offense Red but any and everyboy I know who has “red” in their nick name has a bad a$$ temper.”
i’d agree with this
Destroyed property?? Hot damn! You mad huh? (Shoutout to Saaphyri)
@Luvvie. You are a hawt mess. Not the shout out to Saaphyri!!!! LMFAO.
My positive trait is also equally my negative trait. I am an extremely passionate person. The same workings that make me hotter than a scotch bonnet on a hot tin roof in Atlanta on a dog day afternoon also makes me as stubborn as mule.
I am working on not worrying so much. It’s habitual since I was a single mother for so long but it is the one biggest thing my husband hates. I am working really hard on this because I don’t want to drive him away because I can’t just let crap go and let him handle it.
“I am working on not worrying so much.”
me too. i’m a constant worrier, which is strange because on the exterior i’m usually poker faced.
i feel this…like right now i’m buggin about a tiny mistake i made…and though outwardly i’m calm, inwardly…different story.
I’m a constant worrier too. Trying to work on it!
according to Panama and multiple ex-boyfriends, I’m “too smart for my own good.”
(dude logic if I ever heard it..)
basically this means: I am smarter than you boyfriend. I will easily recognize inconsistencies in your story. I will know when you are lying. I will probably be able to prove it. and.. I. Don’t. Forget. Shit.
this applies to all 3 columns:
It’s a negative, but I’m a work in progress, but it definitely sometimes makes me realize… damn I’m fucking nuts.
“too smart for my own good.”
(dude logic if I ever heard it..)
what this basically means (translated in “dude speak”) is that, “i know you’re smart, but you dont hafta take every opportunity possible to remind me of it”
Negatives: I love engaging in debates (not arguements) maybe too much. I do it to the point when even if I’m in agreeance with the person I’m debating, I’ll still play the devil’s advocate just to make things more interesting.
Work In Progress: My inner-asshole tends to bear it’s ugly head at inopportune times. Although I have accepted my asshole, I’m working on controlling the timing of which it emerges. Not during times when I should be showing my sensitive side.
I’m F*ckin’ Crazy: Can’t think of anything at the moment.
“Although I have accepted my asshole, I’m working on controlling the timing of which it emerges”
“accept your inner asshole”
hmmm…i dare someone to come up with a better t-shirt idea today
I’m in touch with mine…I wanna shirt for real!!!
Love it mayne!
at least a quarter of my paycheck is going to be spent on vsb t-shirts. Lord help me…
a quarter?!?! Damn I might have to dip into my shoe budget.
I’ve already decided that I’m going to spend all my money on VSB tees, thenwrap them around my feet and use them as shoes. Beat that!
“I’ve already decided that I’m going to spend all my money on VSB tees, thenwrap them around my feet and use them as shoes. Beat that!”
this made me choke on my cheesecake and fries
For some reason, I am attracted to guys who are in touch with their inner asshole. Especially the sarcastic ones. Maybe that needs to go in my ‘Damn, I’m Fucking Nuts’ column?
You and me both Suga. You’re not alone.
@Suga. Add arrogant to the line up and I just might steal the man you are attracted to!
I am an asshole, and I am ok with that
“I am an asshole, and I am ok with that”
i’m thinking we can have an entire line of asshole-inspired t-shirts
I’d rock EVERY last one of em. On Sundays. And DARE the ol’ church ladies to say sumfin.
Negatives:
*Slightly jealous at times (I guess that could be a work in progress, too!)
*Tend to read in between the lines when they’re aren’t any lines present
Work in progress:
*Tend to put more into a relationship than I get in return (from now on, it will be 100% from you and 100% from me!)
*Not following my gut feeling, due to fear of “messing things up”
*Understanding the communication gap between men and women
*Wanting to be the center of his universe when I am present
Positives: (even though you didn’t ask for them-lol!)
*For lack of a better term, I’m a “ride or die” chick. “Through the goooood times and baaaaad times, I will always beeeeeeeeee, always be right there! Heeeeee!” LMAO-what song is that, vsb???
*I like to do the little things that makes him smile-send a “just thinking of you card,” drive up to his campus on a random weekend to surprise him when I know he would have been “bored as hell” if I hadn’t.
“Tend to put more into a relationship than I get in return (from now on, it will be 100% from you and 100% from me!)”
you know what though, i’m come to realize that people have different 100 percents in this regard. some people just love harder than others, and might just have a deeper emotional capacity
That is true, but I look at it as, “are you putting in work?” Are you making an attempt to make this relationship successful? Are you making a conscious effort to communicate with me, to spend time with me, or just let me know you give a damn? Am I doing the same? Feel me?
“i’m come to realize that people have different 100 percents in this regard.”
Dawg, did you just make that up? It sounds like what you’re saying is some people don’t like to be vulnerable…put their heart on the line…take a risk…put their balls out there.
“Dawg, did you just make that up? It sounds like what you’re saying is some people don’t like to be vulnerable…put their heart on the line…take a risk…put their balls out there.”
its not that, its just that some people just dont have as much to give as others. i mean, people have different levels of intellectual capacity, so it shouldnt be hard to believe that emotional capacities can also vary
Word!
Can You Stand the Rain, New Edition
Work in progress:
*Tend to put more into a relationship than I get in return (from now on, it will be 100% from you and 100% from me!)
*Not following my gut feeling, due to fear of “messing things up”
Ding! Ding! Ding! This is sooooo me.
I’m persistant and don’t like to let things that matter go. Good in general, bad in relationships when I just can’t stop talking until I feel my point has been heard, understood and (if it’s really crucial) agreed with.
In the past, I’ve dealt with a guy that had 75% of what I wanted, but 25% was * way* the hell off, so instead of leaving I hung in there trying to change the 25% into something I could live with. Lesson learned: next time if crucial things are missing, just fucking leave! It aint gotta be all wrong to be wrong for you.
I’m sensitive. When I love you, and I beleive you love me, you can hurt my feelings way too easily. My expectations for those that I love and that claim to love me are high…as they should be, but sometimes I wonder if they are too high. I know rationally no one can be nice all the time and even those that love you will hurt you, but i’m working on acting as if I believe that.
Champ, I feel you on the dilpomacy tip, i’m the same way but it manifests itself differently in my relationships. To me , it’s diplomatic and fair to give people the chance to fix what’s wrong before its too late. My problem is just that I’ve given too many damn chances in the past.
Damn…now a chick is feeling all exposed and shit!! LOL
“Damn…now a chick is feeling all exposed and shit!! LOL”
lol…thats okay. we’re not looking
(well, i am…but i wont tell anybody what i see)
That’s alright, i’ll let my inner exhibitionist out for ya
@Champ. “now a chick is feeling all exposed and shit” You slept on that one! That is my shirt. Please make it and put it in the mail today. I will kickstart the t-shirt promotion campaign.
)
Oooh-Oooh…
“negatives“ I’m aloof. Unless someone asks me out, using the word date, in my mind, it’s not a date. Not only that but if the relationship is tanking, I don’t see that either. LOL
“work in progress“ Emotionally, I’m can be a flat line. Most women have emotional ups and downs. this confuses men because I don’t generaly get upset, cry and all that jazz so they think I don’t care. So I’m tryna be more emotionally expressive like all those other chicks. Sometimes I pinch myself so I can tear up.
“damn…i’m f*cking nuts” Something happens to me when I’m in a car and it’s time to park. EVERY arguement I’ve had in the last 5 years was when we were in a car and one of us was parking.
“Something happens to me when I’m in a car and it’s time to park. EVERY arguement I’ve had in the last 5 years was when we were in a car and one of us was parking.”
this is, ummmm, unique (read: “special”). maybe something about backwards movement triggers that.
When I’m driving, I hate for people to tell me how to do it. That being said, I hardly every drive men around. When I do, they always want to tell me how to park–like I wasn’t raised in Motown and haven’t been driving since I was 6! Then when they are driving, they want to park 17 blocks from where we’re going. I don’t wear walking shoes. OR we valet when there’s perfectly good free parking! Free parking across the street or valet? You chose valet! That defies logic. I’m getting heated just thinking about it.
@Hotness. LOL at your a$$. You are too funny. Okay, I hate when people critique my driving too. Hell, I put out the disclaimer:”I can’t drive” just so my passengers will STFU.
Dang,I know it’s bad to cross over 3 lanes after passing everybody at a 90 mph speed to cut off the line to get off the exit but it give me a rush so STFU and let me drive. DAYUM!
Ha!! You called me HOTNESS!!! Hee-hee!!!
@HOSTESS. Sorry, I was read Teacia’s response and she used hotness like 3 times and I got confused. LOL. Forgive me.
@hostess: Are we related ? seperated at birth. Because I can relate .. and I am told the exact same thing.
Another character flaw for me is:
I am a GIVER.. I GIVE and GIVE and give.. and try to fix people. I find the men that I can fix and once they are fixed.. I’m done.. (does that make me crazy?)
Relationship Resume
Genius Khan
You wanna be where I’m @
3rd planet from the sun 00777
swankswayzeIII@everywhere.infinite
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Creative leader who possesses intelligence, wisdom, understanding, prudence and knowledge. Excellent verbal and non-verbal communication skills. Very sensual , sexual and passionate. Benificent, persuasive, compelling charismatic and magnetic personality. Very adaptive to change and maintains composure under pressure. Will power on swole. Diplomatic and perseverance game on tilt.
Modus operandi/mantra “I aint scared of you MF’ers!” Mac Man
NEGATIVES
My greatest strengths can often be my biggest weaknesses.
WORK IN PROGRESS
Mastering my inner self (my mind)
“There is nothing truer, than that the quality of thought which we
Entertain, correlates certain externals in the outside world. This
is the Law from which there is no escape. And it is this Law,
this correlative of the thought, with its object, that from time
immemorial has led people to believe in special providence/divine direction” Wilmans
DAM IM FUCKING NUTS
I don’t negotiate with terrorists. Stealthy, poker face you’ll never see it coming: most people have graduated steps in chastisement accompanied by corresponding consequences/punishment.
i.e.
verbal warning/follow-up tounge lashes
letter of counseling/blow off date nite
letter of reprimand/reduction in we time
article 15/mandatory loss in rank and grade,
court martial/pending permanent seperation)
MY OPERATING PROCEDURES
I might advise you (verbal warning etc.) but forego the smaller consequences/chastisement and employ NUCLEAR OPTIONS when the charges have built up.
Yeah I know, start early hate me now.
next time you apply for a job, you should just send this resume in instead of a real one. you’d probably get an interview (or arrested) just on gp
Champ a lot of the language that u read is from my resume and it’s pretty crazy anyway.
@Genius. You are officially a nut. You actually wrote “article 15″ on a civilian blog. I love it. Are you in the military?
No, Elenda I’m not in the military although i did spend a short time in it. I operate on a level like the military, the mob, mercenaries, or say a sovreign nation, so the people who actually LIVE this life see everything else as civillian.
lmao this man said “Benificent”
lol
I love that word Beneficent… Genius really is benificent and magnanimous too
I can be jealous and extremely selfish at times, too independent, and I think I’m bad and I know it.
Everything else is a work in progress.
I do little sweet things like leave notes in your car, bring you lunch, and other little things just for the hell of it.
“…bring you lunch…”
doing this is a definite point-getter
I love doing the sweet unexpected things.
I once sent a man flowers to his job with a hand written note (that I had to mail to the florist a week in advance, because said man was 1000 miles away)
“I once sent a man flowers to his job with a hand written note (that I had to mail to the florist a week in advance, because said man was 1000 miles away)”
otherwise known as: ***the residual effects of “ldgp” (“laying damn good pipe”)***
WRONG! But thank you for playing. To date he has not laid pipe.
Great Topic.
My Negatives: 1. I suffer from a severe case of Only Child Syndrome. Call it selfishness, call it spoiled, call it what you like.
But I like what I like, the way I like it when I want it. I wont ask you for it, just know I am going to get what I want.
2. I am also territorial. I can not share my space for extensive periods of time. I must be left alone at some point and I need daily silence.
3. I am not Suzy Home Maker. Not by far. There will be food, laundry and the house wont smell. This is all I can promise.
Work In Progress: 1. I am a control freak. It is very hard for me to sit back and go along with the ride. And even if it appears I am, you can rest assured I already have a contingency plan.
2. I am learning to master the art of knowing when to shut the fuck up. I am realizing I dont need to share my every thought.
I’m Fucking Nuts
1. I can have intensive mood swings. I can be friendly and open one minute and completely shut down and ask you to stop talking to me the next. I will simply look at dude and say ‘I dont want to talk about this anymore and walk away.’ And I will then pretend like the conversation never happened. I wont be upset or angry, but as far as I am concerned the conversation never happened.
2. I never lose my temper. I am like my father and uncle in that sense. My aunt always says that scares her about us cause you never really know what is going on in our head. She said, ‘Those are the type of MF’ers who will either snap one day and kill your ass or will slowly plot your downfall.
“There will be food, laundry and the house wont smell. This is all I can promise. ”
for some reason, this is hilarious to me
“She said, ‘Those are the type of MF’ers who will either snap one day and kill your ass or will slowly plot your downfall.”
You’re Auntie is right…these type of people scare me…for real!!!
I’m with you on the control freak thing. “Fail to plan, plan to fail” is my mantra. While I do make every effort to take the other person’s opinion into account when planning something, at the end of the day I won’t feel it’s right unless I do it myself.
The only exception to this is in the bedroom – that’s the only place I completely surrender.
Exactly. I take direction like a mother in the bedroom. But as soon as we finish, I am back to thinking I run shit. lol
Oh my goodness, you are a woman after my own heart! I too am an only child and struggle with the idiosyncrasies you mentioned above (except #3, I am a total Martha Stewart type)…..
Co-sign #1- I WILL get what I want (although I rationalize this by saying that I don’t ask for much and I deserve the things that I get). Like you, I’m all about getting it for myself. That means I get it when I want it and I don’t have to feel indebted to anybody…..
Co-sign #2- Sometimes I just do not want to be bothered! Don’t get me wrong, I like people in general…but sometimes it just requires to much energy to be around people. As crazy as it sounds, it can be draining and exhausting. So I need my solitude each day.
Co-sign #3- Yes, I am a control freak too…..although others don’t know it because I try to “be easy” and hold it in. My boyfriend thinks I’m especially picky and anal about many things, but I assure him “I hold back half the things I want to say, If you could only be privy to the running commentary in my head!!” The control issues relate back to needing solitude…when I’m alone I don’t have to worry about compromising or freaking out because things aren’t “just so”….
Co- sign #4- Yes, I am slowly learning how to hold my tongue as well. I used to always need to have the last word (control freak!), but now I have learned to let things go….which relates to my next point because people (my boyfriend) see this as “shutting down”….which it might be……
Co-sign #5- I won’t admit to mood swings per se….but when I am done talking, I am finished. My tag line is “The bottom line is XYZ, and that’s all I have to say about it.” After that, get out of my face, I do not want to see you, touch you, or talk to you. Conflict makes me physically tired, so chances are, I will detest the sight of you until I take a nap. I really need to sleep in order to get over stuff…I guess slumber is my reset button…..And like you, usually I am not angry at the situation or topic, just more irritated because someone invaded my precious personal space with foolishness and now I want to be alone.
Co-sign #6- Finally, as crazy as I sound, I do not lose my temper either. As a matter of fact, most people describe me as the happiest person they know. That’s because when I don’t want to be bothered, you will not see me! Even in arguments, I may go back and forth with you, but I will do so in a diplomatic fashion before giving up and saying “you’re right” just so I can take the aforementioned nap. People often complain that they “cannot read me” because I am so calm……I love this because I’m a control freak (see number 3).
Despite all this, I am an amiable person (no really…lol), very few are affected by my issues. I am the one who has to deal with the inner turmoil….just pray for me, I’ll pray for you!
Alas,*sigh* I have found my emotional twin. I’ve missed you so… Finally someone who gets me and wont ask me to explain myself. Come give me a hug girl….
Sleep is my solitude. Let me sleep when I want and our relationship will be much easier.
~”I may go back and forth with you, but I will do so in a diplomatic fashion before giving up and saying “you’re right” just so I can take the aforementioned nap.”~
This is my Trump right here. As a teenager, I would tell my mother ‘Ok mommy you are right. I am wrong. Are we done here?’ Drove her nuts! People usually think I am patronizing them when I say ‘you know what, you are right. And I am done with this conversation. Please stop talking to me now’ and walk away’
~I am the one who has to deal with the inner turmoil….just pray for me, I’ll pray for you!~
Done!
hugs all around!
Kalia, this was some very introspective sh*t! Feelin’ you, boo!
Oh yeah, sleep definitely resets me too… I HATEpeople who wake up angry! It just can’t be that serious to spend eight hours in slumber, dreaming of gum drops and treasure-trolls…and STILL wake up pissed off! I mean c’mon!
i agree, something about “gum drops and treasure trolls” that tenderizes the heart…..LOL
@Kaila. Dayum you need a nap too? Men just don’t understand the power of the nap. After the “reset” you really are all good and can move on with your life and the relationship. Sometimes naps can be subsituted with a good meal or a movie but all in all it is still a reset.
“Sometimes naps can be subsituted with a good meal or a movie”
Or good s*x! That can “reset” the hell outta that @ss!
“Or good s*x! That can “reset” the hell outta that @ss!”
***mt. ararat community day at mellon park***
These crazy @ss church references are hysterical!!!!! I can’t stop laughing at this sh*t!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My damned face hurts.
“Or good s*x! That can “reset” the hell outta that @ss!”
That gets a “fa sho” from me.
**mt ararat…
u stupid and naming names. LOL!!!
Good sex usually leads to a good nap, I get my reset twice.
My current habit is to compartmentalize my life and focus on one or two things to the near exclusion of everything else. Depending on how important or time critical it is, I can spend days to almost a week at a time on one project 14-18 hours a day. Essentially, I disappear off the radar for days at a time. (Well not really, you’d KNOW where I was). For some people, that can be an issue.
I have limitless patience for hearing new things. My patience for hearing the same story many times in the same day is pretty small. I’ve not yet fathomed why some people feel a need to tell me exactly what went wrong over and over again as if somehow I’d get more information each time. Unless I asked to hear it again, I probably don’t need to hear it again, especially if you’re asking me for help.
I’m not afraid to disagree. Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean I’m your yes-person. If I disagree with you on something, I will not bend just to do so. I like when you’re able to show me when I’m wrong and I love when you realize that my disagreement with you on something does not necessarily mean I have something against you.
By the time I’ve met you, I probably have several good friends of the opposite sex. They’re not going away.
I’m not going to get mad enough to yell or hit you. Even if you think I should, even if you hit me. I think I convey enough through my face and voice to not have to resort to those tactics to get my point across.
In any case, my solution to all this is just find someone where these things won’t be much of a problem
“My patience for hearing the same story many times in the same day is pretty small. I’ve not yet fathomed why some people feel a need to tell me exactly what went wrong over and over again as if somehow I’d get more information each time.”
i’m the exact same way. i’ve actually just walked away in mid-convo because of this before….which is extremely effing rude, lol.
damn. i’m an asshole
i concur with you both. i had a guy, just the other day, tell me the same story about his son. Fam was too hurt when i just walked away in mid-story!!
IT’S MY LIFE TOO B*TCH!!!
Its My Life Too, B*TCH!!
LMAO
-Please add this to the VSB.com t-shirt list. I can apply this to so many aspects of life
Side Note-I cant stand for co-workers to tell me about their children over and over. All I keep thinking is, Please tell me how this effects me and why I should give a shit? (Guess that is my inner asshole)
OMG. And if they don’t have kids or those kids are older, they will tell you about their fugging dogs. I don’t hate dogs. I hate their owners.
@AO. Thanks for BEATING the “inner a$$hole quote” today. “It’s my fuc*n life 2 b**ch” is tooo classic.
Uh uh…I stop people when they start repeating things they’ve already told me…can’t STAND broken records!
This is another negative of mine. I once stopped a friend from telling me about the day she found out her mom had breast cancer because we’d talked about it twice AND I was there.
I also tune out when people in church testify over and over again about the same miracle that happened in their lives. It was wonderful to hear the first time, not so much the 16th.
“This is another negative of mine. I once stopped a friend from telling me about the day she found out her mom had breast cancer because we’d talked about it twice AND I was there.”
LMAO!!!!!!!!! This made me laugh so much…See you in hell!
What is even funnier about this.. is that you put the “AND” in capitals as if to illustrate just how egregious your friend’s offense truly was. LMAO!
Guess who’s bizzack…sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Quick catch-ups… First–Happy Belated B-day Miss Patterson. Second–Congrats VSBs on all the success (ie recent media clips and astronomical response #s)…you guys are killing this blog game. Early.
Back to the issue at hand:
Negatives: Too flirtatious. I’m a jokey-joke type of guy so I have been frequently accused of being too flirtatious. This is a characteristic that does not fair well in marriage (trust me). For example, I recently made a joke with a real estate agent who was showing me a house. She was young, attractive and a societal menace behind the wheel (she intentionally drove the wrong way down a single-lane one-way street when coming to meet us). As we were parting ways, I half-jokingly said something like “try to stay on the right side of the road. ha ha” As I entered my car I felt an intense heat on my neck and it was coming from the passenger seat.
Wife: What the hell was that supposed to mean? “Stay on the right side of the road??”
D*Pain: What?
Wife: Nah, n*gga… don’t play dumb! Why you always gotta joke with e’rybody? You play too damn much!
Working on: This is actually negative as sh*t too but oh well… sometimes I prefer to just lie instead of deal with the nuclear fallout that accompanies the truth. I guess I sort of feel like if my wife is going to overreact on some “Altered Beast” sh*t (Sega Genesis circa 1989) than maybe its best to blatantly lie about the inconsequential sh*t. I only started this foolishness once I got married. I think I realized that there is no prize that is more coveted in marriage than peace in one’s home…at any cost. I know it’s a bad look…but I’m workin’ on it y’all.
*hangs head in self-loathing shame*
I’m F*ckin’ Crazy: Don’t wake me up in the middle of the night to argue. I can not be held responsible for my actions and the vile filth that will ooze out of my mouth (along with my morning breath) all to get my point across. I mean I might even throw myself from a two story window to convey the point that I don’t want to be bothered at the crack of dawn about nonsense.
damn…welcome back and shit. you had cats worrying and shit, and i think at least 3 of the women here were gonna hire a bounty hunter to track you down
LMAO! My bad…would you believe these muhf*ckas at the job actually expected me to earn my paycheck for the last couple of weeks…the nerve of some people. In any case I’m back like I never left!
“would you believe these muhf*ckas at the job actually expected me to earn my paycheck for the last couple of weeks…the nerve of some people.”
dammit. don’t you hate when that happens?
Glad you’re back ’cause I missed you! I can’t believe you were working. I just saw a pig fly by my window.
LMAO! Is that how you welcome somebody back into the fam?! With sarcasm and obnoxiousness?! Seriously though, you guys are the best! Thanks for the warm reception.
You know how sarcastic I can be (guess that’s one of my flaws). But if I didn’t have so much love for you I wouldn’t have bothered to say anything!
D*Stroy aka D*Pain ~missed you. Glad your back
I.H., thanks! AND on another note, I have been reading some of your posts during my sabatical, and I am definitely feeling your perspectives!
*hangs head in self-loathing shame*
No self loathing allowed here buddy! Keep it moving.
Yay!!! *high kicks* Hey, are you coming to the VSB BBQ? It’s been adverstised on BET and WAMO for the past 2 weeks…take notes. You and the Mrs. gotta bring somethin’ though…
“BET and WAMO”
LMAO! Love the WAMO reference.
ummm….so, this was a joke? there’s no VSB BBQ?
Not yet at least. All this BBQ talk makes me hungry.
***pending***
Are you serious about a VSB BBQ???
I feel like you are pulling my leg… but if not, that is a super-dope idea!? Also, if you are NOT lying to me in an evil effort to make me look like a fool, where and when is it? ‘Cause you know you’re boy don’t miss out on BBQ!
ok…so it was a joke. but i’d love for one of the brothas to host one…even though there’s a part of me that thinks it would start out all cool & shit with water balloon fights & endless comfort food and end with everybody throwing punches and a visit from the po-po.
p.s.- thanks for the belated bday wishes!
The throwing punches would come after someone said someone else was cheating at spades **rolling eyes** you forgot to add someone would get obnoxiously drunk and start hitting on all the women.
um, the way this site reads from day to day, I think some of the women would get obnoxiously drunk and start hitting on all the men. lol
*ducks objects thrown by offended VSB women*
@Queen…somehow…I don’t think we (VSB.com sistas) would have to be obnoxiously drunk for that….maybe tenaciously tipsy…or ballsy and buzzed…me thinks seriously sober..and it would be ON like POPCORN!
LOL…except for the un-single…that is…committed d!ck tastes funny…lmao
@Good~you know I read this (Queen’s comment) and was like, hmm I wouldn’t need a lick of LQ. Most times don’t need liquid courage. kudos!
damn, girl. Just put my nuts on a table and hit ‘em with a hammer why don’t you. I was really hyped too. Now, I just look like a thirsty-@ss VSB BBQ groupie. Thanks!
But while we are imagining …I think that the VSB BBQ would turn into something like a Luke Video. Booties glistening and clappin’ everywhere.
I forgot to mention that in my excitement at the prospect of this phony bbq…I began thinking of what to wear. I ultimately decided on showing up in my Easter outfit (possibly with white patent leather shoes). Thanks for ruining a perfectly good outfit.
sheeet I went out and bought new shoes yesterday to wear to the faux BBQ
“I ultimately decided on showing up in my Easter outfit (possibly with white patent leather shoes). ”
I snorted when I read this.
Welcome back! The fact that you had decided to wear your Easter outfit with white patent shoes to what you anticipate to be a Luke-esque BBQ…you need more extracurriculars man. But I give you 10 points for making me laugh this hard at work. Thanks!
Does this easter outfit include a tight vest, as ALL easter outfits should?
@ Luvvie…I see my outfit has piqued your interest…with good reason too. Here are the details… this outfit is an ice-white and vanilla creme three piece suit with A 3/4 length, 10 button jacket with bell-bottom pants– (no cuffs)! Cream socks and white patent leather shoes (which helps to emphasize the color contrast and attention to detail)! But just to throw you off and stay true to Easter, I would rock a pastel green vest of extreme tightness which would highlight my athletic build. HOLLA AT YA BOY!!!!
Ur outfit is shonuff CASKET SHAAARRPP!!!
Yay!!! *high kicks*
I hope you stretched before High kicking
Good to see you back, fam.
What’s really good, Akshone!
Thanks! It’s good to be back…I feel like I have been intellectually and comically deprived.
Yep…vsb.com be dat crack.
*Say no to drugs kids*
“vsb.com be dat crack.”
eff a t-shirt, this might be our new tag line
@D*Stroy. Welcome back, I guess. Your mate will force you to lie. Something as innocent as bumping into and X and his wife at Walmart can happen and you lie just because you don’t want to hear the questions from your mate. Been there, done that.
Exactly, Elenda! I would prefer to tell the truth about the incident b/c it is inconsequential… but I damn sure don’t want to hear “Do you still love her?”
@D*Stroy and those damn questions come straight out of left field. Seriously, if I still loved the mf I wouldn’t have even brought up the fact that I saw them. *** rolling my eyes hard*** Your mates’ insecurities and lack of understanding MAKE you lie because you love them. And, yes, THEY make you lie.
LMAO!!! I’m going to tell that to my wife…”Damn girl! Don’t you know I lie to you cause I love you!?! You think I’d lie to just anybody?!”
@D*stroy. LMAO. You bed’NOT tell her that if you want to stay married. Just keep it a secret. Just know that I (a female) understands and can relate. Telling her that would be like telling a wife, “I hit you because I love you.” It’s true but it doesn’t make sense nor sound right when you put in on paper or say it verbally
first…(well second cuz I already did this)
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY DDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I was one of the ones that was gonna chip in on the search party that Chamo mentioned…next time you have to actually (GASP!) work at work…check out with a ni99a…dang! we thought you were fired…or fathered…or some other appropriate situation beginning with an “F”…
ok..now for my comment on your comment…ummm…joking about driving on the wrong side of the street is NOT flirting…I mean had you said “make sure you drive on the right side of the street when you pick me up tonight”..yeah…but there should have beeen NO hot neck-age for that statement…(shrugging) but she’s pregnant, so we will attribute it to hormones!
lying…(crickets chirping) I can’t believe I am goign to type this and leave in cyberspace associated with my name, for others to read for eternity) but…I prefer to think of it as “choosing your battles”…some ish just ain’t worth it…ex..
she asks, “baby, do I look fat in this dress?”
you WANT to say “I will go with YES for 2 hunnit, Alex, I mean you were chubby when you put it on, is it a magic dress?”…
but you actually say, “no baby…you’re beautiful”
now if you are lying about why the sun beat you home…i.e. “out with frat bruhs” instead of getting head from the aforementioned real estate agent (causing YOU to drive on the wrong side of the road) then yeah you’re lying…otherwise…call it…ummm…diplomacy…yeah, that’s it…diplomacy!
waking up in the middle of the night to argue? really? who does that? IF I am going to wake you up in the middle of the night…there will be cussing involved…but the good kind (wink)
(hug…dap…soul brother number 5 secret handshake)
D! D*Scroy, D* Pain, D* Test, D* Mayne, D!
welcome back fella.
Thanks Genius!
I’m going to sound straight up “sucka” on this, but, oh well!
My biggest thing…is, “time”. My lady and I both do the “corporate-lifestyle” during the week, and come the weekend, I want to chill. Not saying I don’t want to politic, and hang with friends, but there are limits. Sometimes, I just want to do the one-on. Fa’ real, quiet lights, cool Martin’s, yeah I said MARTIN’S!!!!! (i refuse the martini naming convention!)
Holla!
sidenote: i think i missed the entire point of this!! my bad.
“sidenote: i think i missed the entire point of this!! my bad.”
thats ok. you can always try again
AO, I like the masculine spin on the martini. I’ve always felt a little funny about ordering one in public (even though I really like Apple “Martin’s”).
Next time I go out for drinks I’ll do that…well, probably not, but I’ll be thinking it (lol).
*Looking for the bartender…Corona, please!*
“I’ve always felt a little funny about ordering one in public (even though I really like Apple “Martin’s”).”
LOL! I have an uncle that love “Martin’s” too. He’s the bartender during family gatherings so he just makes them himself. You will never see him order one while out.
Hmm, your uncle is on to something…I may have to try this. You mean, I can drink Apple Martin’s on the side AND get tips for making them for the lovely ladies?
*Now pulling out my bowtie and matching cummerbund*
it’s ok that you missed the topic…MARTINs should get you a few cool points…
Negatives:
•Can be aloof as hell
•Super emotional, but keep it locked down so as to not appear weak and/or irrational
•Need alone time like DAILY…too much closeness makes me chafe and I feel like I need to get away
Work in progress:
•See first two ABOVE
damn…i’m f*cking nuts
I can’t say there’s anything makes me crazy…I mean, I’ve never felt the urge to bust out a car window or throw paint on somebody. Crazy for me might be deciding that a perfectly good guy who just happened to like closeness and being near me was not cool and breaking up with him…then realizing a few years later how crazy I was for doing that. Crazy might also be being attracted to an equally aloof man…and neither of you refuse to be the person that breaks first.
“Super emotional, but keep it locked down so as to not appear weak and/or irrational”
do you have acid reflux?
on the serious tip…yes, i do suffer from it occasionally. part of price one pays for holding stuff in.
yeah…i have it too. even was on nexuim for a while
well at this point in life i have died inside, so dont expect me to trip when you wanna show your ass cause you want attention. also, dotn expect me to call you every day (or even at all) unless we are about to go hang out somewhere… dotn expect me to tell you you’re the man after we bone, or even let you know my worst fears. i am robot.
on the flipside, i am a barrel of fun, and ima good listener. im working on my attention span for the most part, and i must say, im doing pretty well.
what makes me crazy is the fact that i like to try people because i always think somebody is trying me. also i dont usually believe promises, so if your one of those guys that thinks showering me with promises makes me attracted to you, ur sadly mistaken.
this sounds more like a rant. lmao
‘well at this point in life i have died inside’
This made me sad
Me too, i almost couldn’t get to the rest of the comment. But i did and i feel it. Sending you an *e-hug* shay
Yeah, i know you are a robot and don’t need it, but there it is anyway! lol
sorry. i have officially lost touch with the fairy tale-seeking princess within. shes still here, but somewhere buried so deep that its almost impossible to reach her. like she’s at the bottom of a well. *shrug*
I have been there. It sucks. But you have to try to fight the BBS. Because if you dont you could end up like so many others And trust middle aged, bitter and alone is not a good look.
But I am gonna give you some cyber love like ForReal. ***Smooches***
I’ve been there too. Trust me…she’s definitely still in there. You just have to find peace with whatever happened and she’ll return. Life is too short to live pissed off.
lol, i wouldnt call myself pissed off, cause i can still have a great deal of fun, but i just lost the ability to emotionally attach.
“she’s at the bottom of a well.”
DAMN! like that chick in the ring? that’s eff’d up!
this whole comment made me sad too…internal death seasonal at best… I hope…but if you really are robot…reset yourself homie…CTRL>ALT>DELETE that azz!
lots of e-love from the “better not bitter” clique…it’s easy to become numb and cynical…but you’re ability to have fun means there is hope for you…
cum-by-yah…
I died inside when I read that she “died inside.”
That is really saddening.
Hugs to Shay…I can feel your pain.
ditto…here’s some more hugs. don’t be dead inside shay. except that i’m with you on the promises sh*t, so unnecessary.
My negatives (you should really ask my ex’s for a more accurate answer:)…..
I’m ambitious and this creates obstacles when it comes to relationships because I commit to different projects and they take up a lot of time.
I have high expectations and little time for BS.
If I feel strongly about the topic, then I will argue about it until I prove my point. I usually let the little things go.
I’m too passionate apparently. Although, if I’m going to be committed to a relationship, I don’t understand how you can go half way about it. When I fall in love (and so far I’ve only fallen in love once), I fall in love hard and give it my all. This is my approach to everything in life. I won’t waste my time unless I’m passionate about it.
you know, i think you cheated. none of these are true negatives, lol. its like the common interview ploy, where you try to spin a negative out of a positive attribute. maybe we do need to ask those bf’s
Almost every one of the replies is like this, have you noticed? lol
Man, it feels good reading about everybody else’s flaws! Let it all out people!!!
Here’s what’s wrong with me:
-I am emotionally retarded sometimes. Some people like to describe it as “acting like a man.”
-I can go from super cold to very warm with almost no warning.
-I am slow to trust
-I argue/debate VERY well and this causes others much frustration
I guess that’s it.
“I am emotionally retarded”
read: “i am a woman”
jk
or not.
you suck…or not…
I’m too independent. Because I subscribe to the notion that there are two people in a relationship not some crazy amalgam of personalities, I can sometimes seem more distant and uncaring that I actually am.
I’m the guy who won’t call you because I’m working late, writing one of my many different projects, or sleeping because I work and write too much.
I’m the guy who is fine if I see you 2 to 3 times a week, because I don’t think proximity = intimacy.
I’ve only been in one real relationship because rather than foist this kind of … oh let’s say “unique”… way of being on people who respond conventionally to ideas of relationships, I know better than to try to talk anyone into thinking that calling you only 3 times a week means nothing other than the fact that I have a lot going on and I also just don’t like the phone very much.
I will say that I’m a bad man and this rule applies to everyone (my mother constantly reminding me to call more often…shoot me now, i’m a bad man)
“I don’t think proximity = intimacy”
ditto
We would get along. Like I said, I don’t like being under nutsacks all the time. 3 times a week is plenty US time.
you had me at “amalgam”…smh…then you threw in…
“I’m the guy who is fine if I see you 2 to 3 times a week, because I don’t think proximity = intimacy.”
and I died and went to heaven @ “foist”…
a BAD man…but maybe in a GOOD way…
Negatives:
I like to do what I want when I want to
Surprisingly, women seem to have an issue with this.
You should stay single.
Point blank.
I dont see the problem
LOL Of course, YOU wouldn’t.
In relationships I tend to be to go with the flow-ish. I sometimes think that I get over things too quickly so there won’t be a whole lot of arguing and what not. I need to work on that.
ONLY in relationships do I have this issue. I have NO problem speaking my mind any other damn time.
I tried to edit but I ran out of time.
I am also rather emotional, but attempt to keep it under wraps so I won’t be labeled emotional. I tell myself I am so unique that people won’t understand why I feel the way I feel. I know its not true, I’m just damn emotional.
I guess my flaws are that I am entirely too awesome for most people to deal with. My presence makes other humans feel like titmouse when I grace them with my greatness. Also I am too humble.
LMAO!!!!!!!!
LOL. Somehow I expected no less Deviant.
I tried to keep my mouth shut but I have to speak on this. You? Too humble? This quality is completely unacceptable…humility is not tolerated here at VSB.com. Tap into your inner arrogance quickly before you are sent to the corner.
In fact…just go to the corner until you shake off this disgusting humility.
You are correct. I must rise to assert my dominace of all things in my radius of influence. All the other humans must realize that my awesome is more awesome than your awesome is on its most awesome day.
Thats so fucking awesome. I am in awe of my own awesome. Awesome.
YOU are truly Magnanimous (that is my word for the day)
magniloquent, even!
D,
For real though…I am very interested in hearing about you’re shortcomings as it pertains to relationships. No sarcasm. No “awesome” rants (which was really hilarious btw)…I just want the real Deviant and the idiosyncracies that have proven to undermine your relationships.
If you don’t want to give up the skinny… I am willing to take a stab at what they are based on what I’ve drawn from your comments over the last couple of months…if you don’t mind. Holla at me.
Only ’cause you asked so genuinely…
I’m very determined (read: stubborn). I want what I want when I want it.
I avoid conflict like the herpes. (Translation:When I’m upset or angry about something, I keep it to myself because I really don’t wanna argue. and then I’ll be pissy because you’re continuing to unknowingly piss me off.) – I’m working on this…
I’m very nonchalant (Translation: I don’t give a f*ck.) This is bad because there are some times when you should give a f*ck. Especially when it’s something the other person gives a f*ck about.
I’m very observant and overly analytical. (Translation: I catalogue every unanswered call, text message, and other seemingly insignificant occurrences and string them together to form “worst-case-scenario” action plans. You know just in case.
I don’t trust anyone. Not even my Momma. (That’s an exaggeration). I’m suspicious of everyone. Even myself. I think I may have undiagnosed paranoia – This may need to be filed under “Damn, I’m F*cking Nuts.” – I’m working on this too.
Wow…never expected you to be an avoider of conflict. I would have guessed you to be the type to quickly engage in conflict. interesting.
LMAO!!
heh, heh, heh, Deev’s…
Damn I like all this self reflection, it’s kinda therapuetic so here goes:
Negs:
I’m a control freak and way to independent. I seem to be unable to trust someone enough to handover the reins of my life to them. I would rather do it myself and get it done right the first time.
Very hard for me to show emotion and I don’t like a lot of touchy feely-ness. I love you but why I gotta hug you…no I don’t want to cuddle…damn!
The more you try to get my attention the more I ignore you.
I have a memory like a venus fly trap…I forget nothing and don’t know how to let sh*t go
I like A LOT of space! Why do I have to call/see you everyday. This mixed in with my no show of emotion which leads folks to believe I don’t love or care about them.
Work In Progress:
My smart ass mouth and heavy sarcasm. I also suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.
My very very quick temper
To stop challenging men.
Trusting….this is a hard one since 85% of what I hear is BS
F*cking Nuts:
I am vindictive and vengeful…period
Ok I’m scaring myself reading this.
I’m actually a pretty down to earth person who speaks her mind and cuts through the crap. I get hurt very easily which is why I am the way I am.
“I am vindictive and vengeful…period ”
**making mental note not to steal sob’s mustard at the vsb.com bbq**
Negatives:
1. I am sarcastic all day long
2. I am too trusting, I inherently trust everybody (until you give me reason not to)
3. I fall in love hard and fast (its the only way I know how)
4. I require a lot of individual attention (blame my dad and my family for that matter, I am the only female child of a favorite son, I was doted on A LOT)
5. Not aware of my own sex appeal (so I have been told by many men and women)
6. I love physical displays of affection, giving and receiving. Poor personal boundaries
Work In Progress:
1. I sometimes come across as condescending cause I’m smart and sh*t
2. Im a storyteller, everything has back story and I like to tell it.
3. I like to talk, about anything and everything
Damn I’m f*cking nuts!:
I’M NOT NUTS AT ALL! Ask my psychiatrist
“I’M NOT NUTS AT ALL! Ask my psychiatrist”
This is made me choke on my spit.
IH…with the execption of negative #5…we are the same ninja!
I FUGGIN LOVE YOU, GIRL…
and I don’t think #5 is really true…I think you know you’re hot-fiyah and you play it down to seem more approachable…you ain’t never “typed” nothing slick to a can of oil…game peeps game…I am going to try that whole “I didn’t even know I was sexy” angle and see how it works…might be kinda hard though since the last four digits of my cell # are SEXY (7399)… *shrug* gonna try though….grasshoppa out!
YO! I am so damn late, but this is MEEEE!!!! Wow.
Especially how everything has a back story. My current boyfriend is NOT pleased with this as most of the stories relate to an ex or some random dude I dated. But these stories be the shit AND MUST BE SHARED!
Well, I suppose as the arsonist, and co-conspirator here, I should throw my hat into the ring. This is fun especially since my girlfriend reads this site as well.
And though you probably can’t tell, The Champ really is the diplomatic of us two. I’ve had to stop setting fires though for the good of mankind, but generally, I’m all about: Burn bitch, burn.
Negatives: Instead of dealing with issues I just bury them until it gets to a point where I don’t even know why I don’t like a chick anymore. I just know that she doesn’t make me happy like she used to and I have no idea where shit went wrong. The only thing I do know is that she ain’t for me. It’s actually completely terrible to be this way.
I hate getting bored. Hell, my boys have told my girlfriends to make sure that I don’t get bored. Once I get bored then I’m pretty much viewing you as a painted white wall. So much potential, but for right now, you’re just a white painted wall with no pictures on it.
You know what, clearly my biggest negative is the fact that once I’m done with you, I’m totally done. If I break up with you, generally, we’ve exhausted all the love possible in our relationship. I stay until I can’t.
Another negative I’ve had is that I’d trump up chicks I was interested in into people they could never be. They were all fantasy versions of themselves (which of course they appreciated) but at some point when I got to know them, I became disinterested. That shit is very unfair. You should always let people be who they present themselves as. Essentially, I was on some uber-hopeless-romantic shit placing undeserving people on pedestals that didn’t even really exist. This is bad b/c everything that goes up, must come down. And at the point it came down, they might have been totally enamored and I’m indifferent. Unfair much? Yerp.
Work In Progress: my current girlfriend knows this one first hand. Despite being all about communication, I tend to suck at communicating how I feel about stuff at times. Mostly because I really don’t know how I feel, but it comes off as if I just don’t care or don’t have any feelings about shit. Truth is, I just havent’ figured out how to deal with my feelings but instead of properly communicating that to the person who needs to know most, I just revert into myself and leave them hanging. This? Is totally fucked up. I’m working on it. I know it’s a problem.
F*cking Nuts: I don’t really have anything like this to speak of. I’m too sexxy for that shit.
lol i believe in setting fires also. most of them are usually very brief and close to my face.
i walk around with two lighters in my pocket usually. for figurative and practical reasons. (im not playin. I keep three in the car lol)
anybody with communication issues though. I seriously suggest anger management. that shit worked for me. I aint perfect (yet lol) but im WAYYYYYYYY better than i used to (ask my mamma, not my ex… she dont pay attention). take that shit for how ever long it takes. Even if you dont have a problem being pissed off, or you dont think so. if you feel like youre a bad communicator or if you feel like your message gets lost in translation some where. Go to anger management classes. a big part of anger management is communication.
Shits a big help. They teach you how to actually figure out what it is that youre going through. (instead of sayin.. i think i feel like this and beign wrong and fucking up other peoples lives n shit lol)
such as, things like sadness, fear, anxiety are primary emotions that lead to Anger, which is a secondary emotion.
So usually, you will be able to figure out the first emotion and address it before you get to the part where you cussin somebody out. OR… ignoring them, being disinterested all of a sudden, or being a bitch for no gotdamn reason, or forgetting why you even liked they ass in the first place, This has happen to me TONS of times.
I dont feel bad about that shit though. and nor do i think its unfair. Usually it was my mistake and those people fucking sucked from the get.
lol
I am trained in “interpersonal communications” and I suck when it comes to communicating with my partner when I’m not happy. That, my friends, is IRONY. lol
damn P…that’s some deep shit…and here I was thinking you were just another pretty face…lol…
I get blamed for that “no feelings” ish too…but really I am just trying to figure out how I really feel before I say something…I have learned to issue a disclaimer…”time out…I need time for this to marinate…”and then I gather my thoughts and go in swinging!!!
that pedastal shit is real eff’d up…nobody can live up to the person you have imagined them to be…(except Erykah and Jill, of course)…smh…
but I am proud of you for digging deep and shit…this was one of the best ones to read…
(giving you elbow dap, cuz I don’t know where your hands have really been)
Self reflection…good topic.
Negatives:
I’m very nonchalant and that does not go over well with women. It’s not intentional, but derives from my introverted nature. To open up to a woman, I MUST have a level of trust towards her. I’m a listener/analyzer, almost to a fault because I compartmentalize information that is given and make an assessment as to how or if I want to pursue things; whether it is women, career, friendships and life…and that doesn’t always work out for me.
Work in progress:
Aggressiveness. Due to me being laid-back, I tend to be less aggressive than I need to be…unless I’m at an 85 – 100% confidence level; I tend to talk myself out of things that I probably would have been successful at…especially when it comes to women. My bouts with aggressiveness are similar to that of a metronome.
Damn….I’m f*cking nuts:
Selfishness…in my past relationships, even though I’m great friends with all my exes these women say the same thing, “You do what you want to do, without regard to anyone’s input…you trust you.”
It’s true and not that I’m a control freak or don’t have the confidence in others and value their opinion…it’s just in my mind I’ve analyzed the situation and I go with my personal assessment. Yes, I’m nuts and have to work on this.
I do feel my positives out weigh my negatives though.
“I’m a listener/analyzer, almost to a fault because I compartmentalize information that is given…”
this is me in a nutshell
Negatives:
1. I get too emotionally involved too soon.
2. I proclaim loyalty to men who are not deserving.
Work in Progress:
1. Letting men grow on me over time as opposed to being “all or nothing” from the start
2. Allwoing men the time to prove themselves before I give too much of myself.
Damn…I’m f***ing nuts:
I’ll pull out the eggs and serve breakfast on your house/car/person QUICK!
“I’ll pull out the eggs and serve breakfast on your house/car/person QUICK!”
hmmm….maybe this wouldn’t occur if you didnt do this…
“2. I proclaim loyalty to men who are not deserving.”
This is true. Food for thought. Working on it though. Def. been deleting some numbers out the phone recently.
Anywhoo, thanks for the topic. This site really makes me think about myself more critically. I just started reading wed and Im already trying to catch up on some of the old posts.
WAIT…was i supposed to have 3 columns of stuff i.e. effin nuts, work in progress and negatives? because if that’s the case I”m going to need to see your license and credentials and then i expect a full analysis of my pathologies.
Another negative for me.
Unlike most women, I suck at verbally communicating my feelings. I am not going to sit down and have a long ass drawn out conversation about an incident. To me it is real simple, ‘I didnt like that. Please dont do it again.’ That is it. No need to make an event out of it.
Oh and I only do Absolute induced Public Displays of Affection. Please stop pissing on trees.
“Please stop pissing on trees.”
introducing june’s winner for non-sequitor comment of the month, suga&spice
alright… i cant help myself. lol ive looked at some of the linked pages in these comments…… lol lol
its hard to believe that some of the people that left comments have the audacity to have some of the issues they have; in accordance to what they have to bring to the table on any and every level that they have on public display lol.
i think peoples misinterpretations on what they have to offer, inspire post like the champ have been posting all week lol…. lol clearly.
Me myself though, I go talk to a very nice white lady every week and talk about my crazy and how to fix that shit. Not to be with another person tho. For me. Because…. sigh… my issues are getting in the way of me making more doe, lol fuck the dumb. Happiness in another person is relative! lol
“i think peoples misinterpretations on what they have to offer, inspire post like the champ have been posting all week lol…. lol clearly.”
i’m surprised nobody touched this, lol. i think people were just generally burnt out from the last couple of days here.
you make a good point though
Bossy.
Impatient.
Love to overanalyze.
Working on all three.
I don’t bust up windows or key up cars. I’m not going to jail for no dude. None of ya’ll is worth all that. Plus I’m cute. I’d get worked over in prison.
i’d definitely approach any woman wearing a “too cute for prison” t-shirt.
Oh, I forgot one thing…I can be seriously interested in someone, and pretend like they’re not even alive. I’d love to tell them, and yet something else kicks in and I act completely opposite of the way I feel. I have no idea why this is…
Yeah, we need a cure for that… I can openly flirt when I have no interest in a man, but when I’m really feeling him, I clam up.
It’s always comforting to know you aren’t alone in your craziness…good ish today.
And self-reflective and self-aware men *really* turn me on.
Just wanted to put that out there
“And self-reflective and self-aware men *really* turn me on.
”
Just wanted to put that out there
Hmmm, I’m so perfect, this is a hard one (LOL)
1. I’m spoiled and have a strong self-entitlement problem
2. I need to be in constant communication with my mate (if 5 whole hours go by and I haven’t heard from him, I feel unloved)
3. My timeframe (married by 30 and have 2 kids by 32).
4. I shut down regularly (I will ignore the hell out of my mate at any moment and won’t say why for almost a week)
5. I lead when my mate wont (which causes me to complain and nag)
you suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i mean that in the most loving way i possibly can!!!!
you suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i mean that in the most loving way i possibly can!!!!
LOL!!!!
@Don. Why I gotta suck?
Elenda i’ll show your crazy, crazy.
It’s great to know that here at VSB, we all have issues together…here’s my short-list.
*My negatives are all my works in progress…maybe that’s why I overthink everything?*
1. I am a closet control freak (so I thought.) I don’t care about controlling anyone else but best believe I have all types of backup plans to protect myself and make ish work out. I just feel safer this way. Now that I’m pregnant, all this goes out the window because I have absolutely no control over my body. I’m quietly freaking out people.
2. I am not physically aggressive enough in relationships. I’m rarely initiating…granted, I will never say no and will quickly pick up on a hint…but otherwise, we will sit there and stare at the wall. If I do take initiative, it will be me tapping you on the shoulder like, um, we should have sex right? lol (I am soooo embarrassed to write this. Clearly, I need to tap into my inner vixen.)
3. I don’t hold grudges or remember half the stuff I should remember in relationships (birthdays, your exes flaws, why I was pissed at you yesterday.) My memory is sucky and all of your past…I truly don’t care most of the time. I care about you but your old chicks, totally not in my mental rolodex, until it affects us. As a woman though, this stuff would be helpful to know at other times. Darn my easy going nature.
4. When I lose interest or get bored (which usually happens pretty quickly), I’m done. And I don’t want to explain why I’m done. In fact, the sight of you will start to nauseate me…adios homie. It’s been fun…well, I’m sure it was fun but I can’t remember any of the fun stuff now. lol
5. When dating…well, let’s be real…I’m a damn G. lol As soon as I fall in love, I overanalyze, can’t explain myself, get nervous. It’s ridiculous.
6. I’m selectively jealous. I could care less who you flirt with until you become my man…then all that becomes completely uncute to me. Granted, I’m not “cut a chick “jealous…but I don’t like it…then I’m over it. (see number 3.)
*Nuts*
I’m really not nuts…I’m not gonna stalk you or even try to convince you to be with me.
Here’s something irrational I do (it’s the only thing too lol)…I don’t like when you put limits on me in our relationship. Like if my fictitious husband told me I couldn’t drive his car…like why not? Even if I have no desire to drive it, I don’t like being told I can’t. It hurts my feelings but Ima be over in it an hour or 5.
@Queen. I think number 2 is commom among alot of females. My friends and I discuss regularly how men could get “it” more if they would NOT wait for us to initiate it. LOL.
Right…just assume I want it all the time. It’s so simple. lol I jest but I meant every word of that. *blushing*
It should not all be the man’s job though although it’s so much more comfortable and reassuring that way. I’m a changed woman, already tapping into my inner sexxxy. (The 3 x’s were both appropriate and Panama inspired.) I can feel the power.
HA! So true. The bum in me is like “why do I gotta get it started?” while I sit there thinking “damn, when is he gon reach ova?? dang!”
Elenda nem wishes: “My friends and I discuss regularly how men could get “it” more if they would NOT wait for us to initiate it. LOL.”
be serious, don’t most men do most of the initiating most of the time and don’t most women fall back and wait on them to do so?
yeah what your friends don’t tell you is that when they are manipulating a man and d**k teasing him to do it they might end up calling it attempted rape….. in all 50 states and most of the commonwealths.
some men don’t maintain composure very well after a thorough teasing. ok i know all women don’t do this but too many do. i’m not that dude and there are many who are like me im sure just as there are many women on both sides of my example. i’m usually doing the coochie teasing but watch what you’re doing peoples. that’s just one black man’s opinion.
@Genius. The friends I speak of are married or shacking up. So I think your comment does not apply. Your “teasing” senario applies to people who are “dating”. I am sure husbands and boyfriends rape their mates but I don’t know of any of those instances.
“It’s great to know that here at VSB, we all have issues together…”
For real, it’s like a big ol’ group hug.
*exhale*
You guys need to start posting every other day so I can get some work done ………. LOL.
I’m spending waaaaaayyyyyyy too much time on this blog.
You guys need to start posting every other day so I can get some work done …
I second that. I have done nothing but VSB all day/week (except that one day I was not at work)
We should make a rule that says: if you get fired because of incessant VSB blogging, you must disclose it (and the details surrounding said termination) to the group! That would both suck and be awesome, simultaneously! (Side Note: Is it still cool to say “awesome” considering the year and demographic? Oh, f*ck-it!)
…I just hope its not me! LOL!
I saw awesome all the time. I don’t care if its no longer cool. The word awesome is AWESOME!
I’ll second that. Along with wack, awesome will never get played out in my vocab.
**co-sign**
I used “wack” aorund my 18 year old nephew the other day and he said I was dating myself to which I retorted. “you’re wack”
I’m also a fan of “wack”. In fact, half my vocab is prolly considered uncool.
word…I still use “wack”, “awesome”, “dope”, AND “fresh”… and my BFF and I are on a personal mission to re-institute “bunk” into modern day lexicon!
negatives:
I am often too honest. Meaning i tell it like it is even if i know your feelings will be hurt.
work in progress:
I can be very quick tempered sometimes. Working on it….
damn….I’m f*cking nuts:
I have multiple personalities, and I switch between them at random.
“I have multiple personalities, and I switch between them at random.”
But of course, you’re a Gemini…see, i told you I remember everything. sue me.
You’re good!
No offense BigBuck… but I think that you need to work on not deflowering preachers’ daughters in the church while on boxes of bibles. Just throwing that out there. *I don’t forget sh*t either*
don’t mind me that’s just the jealousy talking.
LOL! Shhhh! Don’t repeat that too loud!
Oh he’s a Gemini—that explains plenty now…:)
Oh really? What does that explain exactly?
The split personality thing.
I’m on the gemini/cancer cusp…so I understand.
Oh yeah, it can be a little annoying but it can also be very useful in certain situations!
Negatives:
I’m too fat. I moved way past thick a couple of years ago. (I’m working on reversing the situation.)
I’ve been told that I could be more enthusiastic when showing my interest in someone. (I’ve often thought to myself, give me something to be enthusiastic about. [Response was from a Diva Dude ......... LOL])
Too direct. A blessing and a curse at the same time. (People say they want honesty but few really appreciate it.)
Arrogance? (I like to call it confidence.)
Veeerrrry low tolerance for the BS that appears to be a part of most normal relationships. (I haven’t decided if my guidelines are too stringent and the other parties involved have valid complaints or not. Decisions are made on a case by case basis.)
“I’m too fat. I moved way past thick a couple of years ago. (I’m working on reversing the situation.)”
I don’t see being “way past thick” as negative. If you want to lose weight, that’s cool. But it has nothing to do with your personality.
True, the weight has nothing to do with me as a person, but its beginning to stress me out which makes me less fun.
I’m not happy when I’m stressed.
And when I’m not happy, I’m not a nice person. I get irritated very easy and my tolerance level for BS becomes even lower.
I am with 2degreez on this….although your explanation holds mahor weight in the validation column (no pun intended)…and how come when I was reading this…all I heard was Bruce Banner saying “don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”… lol
LOL …….. Actually, I don’t say much when I’m angry. Just “the look” with a couple of choice non-profane words …… LOL.
I remember when I was young and would get into it with my mother over something …. of course I never said anything inappropriate, but apparently I had this “look” that would make her irate.
She would be like “who the hell to you think you are looking at me like that”.
I used to be like what are you talking about. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that “the look” is enough to stop grown people in their tracks.
“I’ve been told that I could be more enthusiastic when showing my interest in someone. (I’ve often thought to myself, give me something to be enthusiastic about. [Response was from a Diva Dude ......... LOL])”
If it was from a DivaDude that makes it null and void. LMAO
Positives:
I love to love and be loved ..sometimes this gets me in trouble because I’m so wrapped up in the idea of love that sometimes I can’t realize…wait a second this relationship is bullsh!t!!
I’m very calm go with the flow type of person …a lot of people I have come across love this about me ..I don’t get all hung up on shit like a lot of other people do
If I’m yours at the the moment then I’m yours ..I’m a one women man ..all the extraness is not necessary to me
Negatives
When I’m interested you will probably never know, I don’t know why but when I like someone I completely ignore them ..I guess this relates to the whole low self esteem thing for no reason at all sometimes.
I let things fester ..I am sooo not big on confrontation ..so even with my girlfriends I just let things go until I can no longer take it ..and I decide to let things go
My friends call me Ms. Analytical ..I’m a very go with the flow person but at the same time I can over analyze ..and look for hidden meaning in EVERYthing..
Damn I’m really not that effing nuts …I haven’t been pushed to that point….yet
“When I’m interested you will probably never know, I don’t know why but when I like someone I completely ignore them ..I guess this relates to the whole low self esteem thing for no reason at all sometimes.”
Yep, I said something similar above…I’ve done this since I was a little girl and had a crush on a different boy every year. Heck…I’m doing it now…there is this man I’m interested in that I probably won’t ever tell LOL. I don’t think it’s self esteem per se for me…it’s more indecisiveness as to whether I wanna be bothered…and whether the person is in any way like the way I portray them in my head.
“I love to love and be loved” me too!!!
and rubbed too, I love to rub and be rubbed (get your mind out of the gutter) rub = caress, it speaks to the whole touching thing, that apparently a whole lot of you can’t stand
LOL..yeah I’m super affectionate and luckily my men have been too. But around here we’d seem to be in the minority.
” and rubbed too, I love to rub and be rubbed (get your mind out of the gutter) rub = caress, it speaks to the whole touching thing”
….Lol I concur
” that apparently a whole lot of you can’t stand”
….Yea I’m definitely a work in progress
I haven’t read the comments cuz Im off today and checking my e-crack from phone…(can’t reply to replies from my phone, so why torture myself) but I did see D*Stranger as I feverishly scrolled past my peoples’ shortcomings… (@D*Stroy…heeeeeeeeey baaabaaaaaaay)
so (taing deep breath) here I go…
I talk too much…- I am a communicator, I dont expect u to read my mind, if I dont tell u, u wont know! and vice versa… if something happened or is on my mind (once I internally decide if it’s worth bringing up or not) I will make my feelings known…and I expect the same…
I am perceived as a flirt – apparently eye contact, active listening and a genuine smile during a random conversation with anyone (male or female) means I am shamelessly flirting and may as well put the boyshorts directly in their hands!
I NEED my space – not MySpace, but time w/o my SO. I believe balance is important and we dont have to be each others shadow… I am also an active mother and my son deserves my undivided time and attention…
I enjoy/appreciate thoughtful romantic effort – not a dozen roses everyday or anything grandiose like that…(I dont even like roses) but something small like a dope superman keychain to match my truck (I have removed all Ford logos from my truck and replaced them w/ the super “s”) or a
text msg… “the smallest acts of love and kindness make strong appeal when bound together” but dudes dont think that much about the sweet side of courtship…
(shrugging) thats the major ish…Im sure there is more…but those are the ones that have been brought to my attention…
Goodeness!!!!!!!! I was wondering when you were going to drop jewels on this post!
Posting on VSB via cellular phone is some real ride-or-die sh*t! Much props for that!
Oh yeah, I definitely feel you on the flirting bit. Why they mad at us cause we know how to be social and sh*t! lol
That truck sounds effin fantastic – do you have a name for it?
her gubmint name is “Peanut Butter Jones” because she is tan in color…but her stripper name is “SuperFord”…
…I guess naming my truck (and giving it an alter ego) could go in the “eff-ing nuts” category)
oh yeah…and since I AM WHAT I WANT in a mate…I usually give more than I get in a relationship…
“tell me who Ive got to be…to get some…reciprocity…..”
Negatives:
* When angered, I have a slow recovery time (working on this)
*I am anal; I can compromise on a lot of things but some things are non negotiable
*I am strong-willed, so I tend to try and do everything for myself instead of allow a man to help… I think that it is due to trust issues (working on this)
*Have trouble displaying affection in the beginning of relationships (also working on this)
Work in progress:
*See above
Effin’ nuts:
*I’m very playful. I love to bust out in song at random moments, quote misc. movie quotes (jokingly in conversations) and laugh a lot.
cheater!!!!!!!
Cold Blooded…how did I cheat?!?!
Monnie, I think we are personality twins. All the things you listed made me think I accidentally made a post and called myself Monnie.
I think that it is a generational thing…
Positives:
*My eyes are AWESOMELY catty. Dudes dig it.
*Extremely loyal and ride or die-ish. “Whatcha need babe? I gotchu!” (well with reason. I ain’t paying your phone bill cuz u spent ur money on the new Jordans that just came out.)
*GREAT listener
*I’m small so I’m easy to pick up
Negatives:
*I’m pretty passive-aggressive, especially when pissed. I’ll clam up and not say too much and when asked what is wrong, if not ready to divulge, I’ll say “nothing”.
*I can stay mad even after “accepting” the apology given to me.
*Overanalytical
That’s all I can think of for now. Shoot, its Friday at 3pm and I’m ready for the weekend.
socially awkward and narcissistic…Honestly, I am really not a fan of homo sapien. These qualities, and my general dislike for humans have made any prospects of a love life impossible. interesting topic!
LMAO @ not a fan of homo sapien. My first chuckle of the day goes to you.
YEah…. everything you mentioned is ish that I hate about men… but at least you know it and are working towards fixing it. I talked about this a lil on RBW this past week. My problem is I dont really want a relationship.. but I want a man, or men if you will to want to be in a relationship with me. So that when I am ready I can just jump right into one because I know they are waiting on me and not the other way around like most relationships go where its the female waiting on the man to finally say he will commit. So I guess that’s my complex… not letting any guy get too close… keeping them at arm’s length…
and I love your blog VSB… I’ve never said it before and dont even always comment… but I love love love your spot
I’ve read and re-read all of the comments and I’m grateful for all the honesty(it makes me seem less crazy)!
So I’m going to park myself on Front St. for a min and be self reflective.
Negatives:
(dang ya’ll)
* I’m a dreamer! I will usually visualize a guy as my husband, see us making moves together..the whole nine b4 i’m 100% sure about him…ugh!
*I hold a lot in…when I’m upset I also become silent until I’m fed up and then I’m done. I don’t argue w/u(I hate confrontation), I’m just done!
*I’m battling this self image crap too! I’m a big and I think sexy woman who’s losing weight SLOWLY(AHHH!). Sometimes it’s really hard b/c I feel like I get no attention at times. What’s up w/that?! Am I sending out some crazy vibes?????
I know…I need to calm down!
*I can be very non-emotional. My theory after being hurt is….It’s better to hold my feelings in than to display them only for them to be crushed!
Working on that:
Please refer to above list!
In addition;
*I’m trying to focus on my career goals right now. I try to stay mentally busy so I won’t have time to over analyze anything or anyone.
*Being patient enough to wait for the right person to occupy my space
Effin’ nutS:
You tell me!
Sometimes I sure as hell feel like I AM!
(exhaling) I feel better now…
I don’t give women a chance…as soon as I see one small thing that I don’t like, I automatically put them into the “I’d never wife her, but I’m not gonna stop trying to cut” category…which is doomed from the start
If we argue about something I deem retarded, I’m out
If you are more than 10 minutes and 32.2 seconds late for us meeting up somewhere, I’m out…I don’t give a kcuf about traffic or you getting lost lol.
I guess I’m an a**hole…yeah that sums it up