for the last month or so, an article titled “the black male privilege checklist” has made its way around the blogosphere, sparking discussion, inciting debates, and wetting more womanist mesh panties than free patchouli night at trader joes.
in it, the author lists 100 different ways that black males are at the beneficial end of intraracial gender privilege. this was a good concept (in theory), but the execution fails when he continues to add inconsequential sh*t to stretch the list to a more buzz-worthy “100″.
***example: #86 on his list “as men, we’re able to make exciting splashes when we urinate, as opposed to women who are stuck with boring peeing while sitting“. okay, i’m totally making this up. but you get my point***
also, what the author fails to admit is that we ALL benefit from some sort of privilege. whether its “pretty girl privilege”, “dark-skinned guy privilege“, “big d*ck privilege”, “big booty/little waist privilege“, “smart person privilege”, “inheritance privilege”, “token black privilege“, “no-kids privilege”, “squirter privilege”, or “i know my dad and i celebrate father’s day privilege“, the majority of us can name an advantage we have over many of our peers…and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
when the topic of privilege and double-standards is brought up though, males are inevitably painted as the bad guy, or at least the only beneficiaries…a statement which couldn’t be further from the truth.
for instance: a couple months ago, professional sambo rapper yung berg was (justifiably) railed across the coals for making that inane “pool test” statement dissing dark-skinned black women, yet many black women openly state their preference for darker-skinned males without rebuke, hurting the feelings of many of our lighter-skinned brethren, including our own p the arsonist. if i wrote an entry titled “top 5 reasons you can’t let a fat chick meet momma…even if momma’s fat too”, i’d probably hafta hire an intern just to deal with the hate mail i’d receive, but it is perfectly okay for a woman to state that she wouldn’t date a man under six feet tall, a statement which eliminates roughly 60-65 percent of the black male population since the average male height is 5’9”.
from hair texture and height to skin-tone and wang size, women are allowed to freely state physical preferences that openly eliminate many members of the opposite sex, characteristics that the guy has completely no control over. yet, a black male can’t even openly admit to being more attracted to women whose skin is a half shade lighter than theirs without getting verbally sodomized by feminist adebesis.
i guess you can say that this dynamic is a symptom of the fact that since at least 92 percent of what they say is bullsh*t women are generally given more latitude with their words than we are. maybe being able to openly eliminate prospects without rebuke is a by-product of them being socialized to openly express their feelings more freely and us being socialized to listen to and accept them regardless of how jejune they might be.
who knows. all i know is that someone needs to stand up for the short smart brothas out there too since they can’t stand up for themselves. well, they could, but does it really count as “standing up” if you can’t see over anyone’s shoulders? nevermind. don’t answer that. and, since i am the champion and sh*t, i nominate myself for the job.
—the champ
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{ 340 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m mad that Adebisi has made yet another appearance in this blog.
Still though Champ, based on discussions that have gone on in this blog, your dudes get flak for skin tone preference is going to come across as weak.
Adebisi (and Jim Jones) must be referenced at least once a week on VSB. It needs to be added to the official VSB commandments.
…and unicorns… *wink*
I was going to add Unicorns and Throat Punches but I wanted you to advocate for your own mythical creatures
e-hugs and sh*t
The thought of unicorns make me want to sprinkle glitter everywhere. I love glitta!!
how bout the thought of a unicorn that will throat punch anyone that has it comin?
*imma go ahead and assume youre not talkin about mariah carrey’s super awesome movie Glitter*
No my love for “glitta” has nothing to do w/that shameless, perpetual pop-tart Mariah Carey (note to MC: “You’re 40. Act like it, for the love of Mike!”).
As a former preschool teacher, I know that any and all art projects can be enhanced 100% by the addition of multi-colored GLITTER!! Glitter makes everything magical…
“The thought of unicorns make me want to sprinkle glitter everywhere. I love glitta!!”
i’m hoping that by “sprinkle” you meant “pass” and by “glitter” you meant “gas”, because, although vsb.com is a no-glitter zone, farting is allowed and encouraged
*Sprinkles glitter on your head*
*Sprinkles glitter on your head*
**sprinkles something on your head, and it definitely aint glitter**
*kicks you in the shins*
I think that unicorns should be daily
“Adebisi (and Jim Jones) must be referenced at least once a week on VSB. It needs to be added to the official VSB commandments.”
its already there actually, under the subheading “symbols of evil”
Under symbols of evil, i vote that We add Tyler Perry, for what should be obvious reasons, and Michael Jordan for making it cool to sell out, $100 dollar sneakers and sticking the Bullets with Kwame Brown among other offenses.
michael jordan as a terrible nba executive is one of the more underrated and underreported truths of the 21st century
Let’s not forget about that baseball career.
That’s the wizards to you!
Under symbols of evil, i vote that We add Tyler Perry, for what should be obvious reasons, and Michael Jordan for making it cool to sell out, $100 dollar sneakers and sticking the Bullets with Kwame Brown among other offenses.
I dont agree.. Tyler is not a good writer but he is a good business man and has created amulti million dollar empire doing it his way, whether you like ot or not and he at least seems to be attempting to try and improve and branch out…
Michael Jordan is/was a terrible executive fine but why did that make him a sell out?
“Michael Jordan is/was a terrible executive fine but why did that make him a sell out?”
i think she’s referring to the michael “i’m the most famous athlete in the world and cats are getting killed for my sneakers, yet i never speak out ever about any type of social issue” jordan of the late 80′s and early 90′s. the same jordan who remarked “republicans buy sneakers too” as a reply when someone asked him to denounce jesse helms
the question I then ask is why would you expect Jordan to speak out about social issues. He talks about basketball he promotes sports and atheletics in the hood. Thats what I expect him to do.
Now I have no defense of the Jesse Helms thing.. that did pi$$ me off and apparently I buried that so deep in my psyche I forgot about it….
Ok so I vote that the VeeEssBee fam get official rules which must include mention of Unicorns, Adebisi, Throat Punches, Jim Jones, e-Hugs, and Toast. Who 2nds the motion?
I second, really robert rules of order
I move for a rising vote…
“I second, really robert rules of order”
umm…i’m gonna need ya’ll to stop frontin like ya’ll are shamrock and stringer bell
as one of the presidents, i veto your bill.
i’m saying, what good is a democracy if everybody agrees??? lol.
I thought this was an unwritten rule of vsb and sh!t
“based on discussions that have gone on in this blog, your dudes get flak for skin tone preference is going to come across as weak.”
oh well.
me thinks the Champ saw Chris Rock’s special this weekend and was inspired by Chris’ tirade on tall people not belittling short people (double entendre intended)
Tall men are the SHIT!!! (I am 6’7)
Marry me.
*Loads a hate missile in the cannon
Don’t be like that sweetums.
@ Tallgent you may be 6’7 but you have small feet, and you know what they say about men with small feet. I wonder how do you keep your balance?
“Tallgent you may be 6′7 but you have small feet”
how do you know this?
Cause I know’d him, is that ok with you Signore Campeone?
do you know the footsizes of everyone you know personally?
I do not, however I have big feet (for a woman), so I compare his shoe size to mine and if its smaller than mine its too small.
How small are we talking?
he would be mad if I told you… lets just say small.
I am joking by the way. He is going to have my head on a spike for this.
*giggles*
Small…hhhhmmmmmm, no.
Well maybe when we consider how big your hole is!!!!!!!!
Wait, what?
U wish you knew
I have not, but I have heard.
Next time dont come at me.
If you come at the king you best not miss!!! (What show is that from?)
you aint heard nothing
“If you come at the king you best not miss!!! (What show is that from?)”
come on, man. you’re on a site full of wire-philes, lol. that question is too easy
“me thinks the Champ saw Chris Rock’s special this weekend and was inspired by Chris’ tirade on tall people not belittling short people (double entendre intended)”
you know what, i saw the first 10 minutes or so of the special, and had to turn it off (penn state game), so i didnt see that part you’re referring to. i did see enough though to say that i found the venue switching annoying
agreed. you didn’t miss much tho. i watched the entire thing and was completely disappointed. i had a few chuckles here and there but it didn’t have me laughing hysterically like The Office season 5 premiere. oh well.
yeah, it was kinda weak
Good to know I didn’t miss much…ha.
yeah, i wasn’t very much enthralled by it either. and that venue switch mess and the pleather jacket…
not.a.good.look.
hearing this disappoints me. i look forward to chris rock specials. now i need something else to look forward to
Ok so I saw the whole thing and laughed my a$$ off, I was also 5 jello shots and a strong Grey goose and Cranberry, and rum punch in….but I was lucid enough to think that Chris Rock must be a lurker on this site because one of the things he quipped about (which speaks to today’s topic) is that Black Men use their options regarding dating outside their race, and that black women do not and then in turn get mad when black men do not limit their options as black women choose to…Yeah and before you respond DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER. Cause basically Chris did say that all any man needs is a crease to stick it into…
but I was lucid enough to think that Chris Rock must be a lurker on this site because one of the things he quipped about (which speaks to today’s topic) is that Black Men use their options regarding dating outside their race, and that black women do not and then in turn get mad when black men do not limit their options as black women choose to
two things: 1. great minds think alike
2. why were you sitting around saturday night getting drunk to hbo comedy specials?
why were you sitting around saturday night getting drunk to hbo comedy specials?
My girl had a gathering at her house and we were eating and drinking and drinking and drinking while the men folk watched football and then the switched it to the CR special then switched it back. It’s not like I was doing jello shots in my living room all by myself, with HBO on. geesh!
and are you alluding that Chris Rock is a great mind?
“and are you alluding that Chris Rock is a great mind?”
i am. i actually think he’s one of the 20 most important americans of the past 15 years
The Champ {September 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm}
“and are you alluding that Chris Rock is a great mind?”
i am. i actually think he’s one of the 20 most important americans of the past 15 years
Yeah I love Chris rock.. and his special was funny to me.. he has a very interesting way of looking at shyt.. I loved the whole black woman cant be vice president bit and the bit about using the word ninja and fa$$ot even though I didnt agree…
but P is right, that pleather jacket was mad disturbing
“i actually think he’s one of the 20 most important americans of the past 15 years”
dont agree but ok but a “GREAT MIND” really?
“dont agree but ok but a “GREAT MIND” really?”
yup. he’s a genius. his resume and his impact on pop culture speaks for itself
i agree. i own all of his stand-up routines on DVD, and in addition to being ridiculously hilarious, they are thought provoking. i was disappointed about this latest special mostly becuz it was mildly funny, lacking the “ROTFL” element i’ve come to expect from CR. but as always, he’s still insightful, politically incorrect, and witty–all the things i appreciate about CR.
Yo, TALK THAT SH*T!
This list is beyond absurd, I feel like this dude made this list to finally bag that chick he sees at the weekly poetry jam sessions he crashes to pick up women.
LOL!
I could get past the first few.
also the list is not things that are exclusively black male privelage, many of the things on his list are MALE privelage regardles of race
yep it is always “that dude” that tries to hit on me as soon as i step off the stage…. i hate that guy.
I couldn’t even read the rules. I was too distracted by how the author looks like “Snoop Dogg intern” (or attendant now. since he got a promotion) from “Scrubs”
Also, his name is Jewel.
Despite that, I was able to read the list, though I had to order new corneas first, as reading his name burned mine up.
::snicker::
i actually got into a discussion about this the other day with another blogger b/c i think the list is total bullmalarkey and straight pandering to women.
basically, dude pulled a McCain. i was told i was wrong and insensitive (or something like that). i find it hard to take stuff like that seriously anyway. it’s like saying to a woman, “i understand your plight. i’m different. i’m renaissance. i feel your pain. let’s have mind sex and get to know eachother better b/c i appreciate you…woman woman woman, special woman woman woman…”
get the f*ck out of here. we get mad at white people when they pull that mess so he gets no pass.
blogging for panties at its finest and most transparent. i’m glad i’m cooler than that.
If you can’t blog for panties then why blog at all… hee hee
Really?! They’re all in for the drawz huh?
Really?! They’re all in for the drawz huh?
good question
Really?! They’re all in for the drawz huh
no but dude most definitely is…..
I do it for the principles and the upliftment of the people. I do it so that men and women, alike, can come to a place for a deep and civil conversation about the differences that make us great. I do this for that little girl in Soweto and that young boy in Harlem. I do this for truth, justice, and the American way. I do this for Wachovia who’s stock has plummeted to penny status.
I do it for the love.
Panties are #57.
“I do it for the love.
Panties are #57.”
Oh, so you’re counting backwards from 58?
ctfu
“upliftment”
I scrabble challenge you, that is not a word
Yeah, we need to conversate about that word usage irregardless of what he thinks…. lol
*Shudders at “irregardless”*
I’m bout to take your unicorn away, keep playin.
“Yeah, we need to conversate about that word usage irregardless of what he thinks…. lol”
Pacifically.
@ 8th Wonder … my unicorn will gore you…. loyalty. so unthaw that ice grill please.
Loyal deez.
*Chuckles*
just cuz it aint a word doesnt mean it aint a word.
so true
The funny thing is in the interview on his page he comes across very intelligent, well read, and gives thoughtful insights. Then I read about 25 points on his list and there’s a bunch of cr4p in there.
you got to 25? I couldn’t get past 12.
You know Champ, there is nothing wrong with having certain privileges/benefits as long as other people aren’t exploited in the process. I had the opportunity to read through Jewel Wood’s piece of Black male privilege and I left with a sad realization that many Black men benefit from the exploitation of Black women. Sadly many black men aren’t interested in changing certain destructive behavior because at the end of the day it makes them feel manly and they gain respect from their peers, thus reinforcing certain behavior.
Ok but numbers 26 and 37 did make you physically lol right?
well, thats generally the case with any privileged group….theres no real incentive to change anything when its benefiting them.
“theres no real incentive to change anything when its benefiting them.”
I think this is a key point. With any type of privilege, what is the real incentive for the person with privilege to change? They like the things just the way it is. For example, I like the perks that come with being cute. Therefore, I won’t make myself appear ugly, just for the sake of being fair to those who may be unfortunate looking.
I’m not trying to trivilize things, but to be honest while I will admit that certain privileges are attributed to men in general, what’s the motivation for them to change. Some of the items on the list were fluff, and some are just “roles” that come with being a male, right or wrong.
“Some of the items on the list were fluff, and some are just “roles” that come with being a male, right or wrong.”
in a nutshell. i mean, including stuff like “men can hoop topless” on the same list that brings up important things such as misogyny trivializes the entire list.
Like if some one has a top 20 best rapper list but then nulls and voids the entire thing by saying Jim Jones is the best lyricist in the game….
“You know Champ, there is nothing wrong with having certain privileges/benefits as long as other people aren’t exploited in the process.”
although “exploitation” is a relative term, i dont disagree with this.
Double standards ROCK!! They’re like the new ‘opinion’ and ‘a** holes’, every body has one.
and they stink
yeah, double standards are whats hot in these streets.
for everybody.
just needed to point out the elephant in the room… that a preference for light-skinnededness carries a lot of fcuked up historical weight that some of the other preferences you mentioned don’t… it’s not an accurate comparison…
and to that I’d reply that even still, two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right.
“and to that I’d reply that even still, two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right.”
yeah…i’m not using the little kid “he did it, so i should get to do it!!!” cop-out. far from it. i’m merely pointing this out because someone can’t get all hoiler than thou about certain behaviors when they practice the exact same behavior themselves
i second this. saying that you have a preference for light skinned women/men suggests you have a massa complex in my opinion – however, this does not mean that the reverse preference (i.e. i don’t fux with a dude unless he’s so mandingo-complexioned all i can see is his eyeballs and teeth at night) is acceptable, but 2520s get on my t*ts so much i can’t help but not be as mad at that….
ironically, i’m not dark skinned, so i’m technically shooting myself in the foot/a$$ by saying this but oh well.
I dig your name, Madame Downer. U must be new. The Welcome Committee will meet you in 15 minutes to give you a tour, which will include the Corner, the Champ’s fuzzy rug, and the trophy case we keep all the VSB awards. Welcome!
so true! thanks for pointing that out, Debbie…you need COOOONTEXT to this argument, man Champ! come now!
“a preference for light-skinnededness carries a lot of fcuked up historical weight that some of the other preferences you mentioned don’t”
it does, but how is that any different from the woman who feels that a light-skinned black man is less masculine than a darker-skinned one, a statement many black women freely make without any type of resistance.
I mean, I understand that people are entitled to like or find certain things attractive in the opposite/same sex. But it is pretty sad when people limit themselves to a small subset of characteristics that are mostly trivial.
I won’t rule out being with a woman that may not know how to sing, but it surely is a plus!
thats because folks dont seem to know the difference between preference and pre-requisite.
I feel you on this one, Shatani. Amazing how the correct word can clarify a situation.
The triviality only exists in the minds of other people. Why should I force myself to like something I don’t just so that my “likes” are socially acceptable to other black people. Perhaps I’ve always been a rebel, but to me, I’m the only person who can ultimately call any of my wants trivial and those would be based on what I (<– imagine this in super caps) feel has influenced it, not other people wanting to project slavery psychoses and other things onto decisions that I make.
I agree, we all do benefit from some sort of privilege. Women openly state their preferences because male preference is widely known and accepted, regardless of how hurtful/unrealistic/dumb it may be. All day long women are bombarded with images of the “ideal woman” and only a small percentage of us fall into that category. So, why can’t we express our preferences too?
I am a dark skinned woman so I definitely know what it feels like to be devalued or ignored because of my looks (the ignorance never ceases with the skin tone issue). So, I do feel for the vertically challenged men, but they do not lose out on their male privilege just because they are short. I know a lot of short guys and they aren’t at home lonely waiting on someone to call.
At the end of the day, you can only do so much about the way you look. You just have to make it work for you. Just work your sexy.
There is only one size that really matters anyway
“I am a dark skinned woman so I definitely know what it feels like to be devalued or ignored because of my looks (the ignorance never ceases with the skin tone issue).”
Co-sign.
However, what we have learned from this board is that man’s preference isn’t really what you think it is. What I take offense to is that us black and minority dudes seem to take the brunt of the minority woman’s anger against the media when were arent the ones controlling the media either. That’s some white guy’s image.
Furthermore, regardless of if your “just letting your preference be known” this doesnt speak to the fact that you feel that you should be above the reprimand thatmen receive for stating them.
(I hope that was comprehensible)
One last thing, I’ll take all you dark skin beautiful womens in with open arms
You may have to steal them from Dorian.
“You may have to steal them from Dorian.”
sh*t, and me too, lol. i gotta warn you though, i played point in college so you’re not stealing sh*t from me
But you’re from Pittsburgh though, so that kinda negates any positive karma you had going there.
*shots fired*
I didnt play ball but being the starting defensive tackle has got to count for something
I’m tired of y’all athletes coming in here thinking you gonna flex on a brother. I won stepshows dammit! STEPSHOWS!!!
I won stepshows dammit! STEPSHOWS!!!
LMAO!!!!
that is a tshirt
I’ve won stepshows too, now take that
Challlenge!!
“Challlenge!!”
ummm…no. there will be no vsb.com sponsored all-male step show throwdown. no way. no how. no mccain
“ummm…no. there will be no vsb.com sponsored all-male step show throwdown. no way. no how. no mccain”
*B/C Champ forbids all male step off, I invite Dorian G to step off outside the confines of VSB. I wait for him to walk out first and the I slam and lock door behind him. ROOO to da GOOD bruhz*
hahahahaha
C’mon now, don’t bark up that tree, that tree will fall on you…
We all know how much y’all like jumping with your pants off around other men. All I have to do is play Atomic Dog and you will forget any sense you have and start barking around naked.
Besides women don’t like being slobbered on, in ESSENCE that’s what i’ve been told.
Ur correct young sir, my beloved atomic dawg is my weakness. and will run around barking but da Ivy League Bruhz will not be naked.
PS Champ told me that the girls in Pittsburgh do like to get slobbered on.
@ Peyso,
#69?
Really?
“@ Peyso
#69 really?
btw I have a weakness for da bruhs…”
I have a weakness for you too…..
And in regards to the number, I was nasty long before I was da Bruhz
Addressing the short brothas, a lot of times the short brothas seem to have more of a problem with it than the women, low self esteem and sh*t (is it bc they are lower to the ground? lol….), or some have some sort of Neopolitan complex… I know it is Napoleon, but I am craving ice cream, lol…
I’m 4’11″. Just about everybody is “tall” to me. I usually have a problem w/short guys because they act like such an a$$ off the break because they feel like they have something to prove. I really wish they would put that sh!t on pause w/me, because Napoleon-style bravado is WASTED on me. I’m stereotypically spunky enough for the both of us, playa…
Oh. Tall people scare me. I always think they’re going to fall on me.
Oh. Tall people scare me. I always think they’re going to fall on me.
i just choked on my half baked ice cream.
was it Neopolitan? lol
Neapolitan ice cream is chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream side-by-side in the same container (typically with no packaging in between).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neapolitan_ice_cream
dang it if you can’t find everything on wikipedia.
….
When we were kids we used to eat all the chocolate and vanilla. Used to tick my Mom off to no end…I still can’t stand strawberry ice cream…lmao!!!
Strawberry ice cream= YUCK!!
I used to love the sherbert that looked like the neapolitan ice cream, except it was REALLY raspberry, orange and lime sherbert. Now that was a delectable dessert.
True story:
When I was about 5 years old, my granddad fell on me when he was a lil’ extra saucy (I was spoiled as he.ll…always scootin’ around the house parties when I should’ve been in the backroom watching TV w/the other kids). Pop-Pop (RIP) wasn’t but about 5’5″, but as tiny as I was, he may as well have been a giant. He apologized to me for that for the rest of his life, LOL.
What? I know I’m not the only one here still carrying around baggage from childhood!!
This story is the best I’ve EVER heard. PBG, you rock!
Im sayin! had me laughin while i was brushin my teef! lmao
Again, my preschool teacher days have honed me into a masterful storyteller as well.
I wonder if that’s I chose to work w/the youngest children…no chance of any of the kids being taller than me. Hmmm….something to think about. *taps temple and winks*
PBG – This story was hilarious!
I’m glad you all were entertained by the tale of my childhood near-death experience.
Next time, I will recount when, at age 8, I almost drowned in a mud puddle down the street from the Frederick Douglass House or the harrowing day in 10th grade when I wandered right into the middle of a sidewalk gunfight.
This is why I dont short people!!!
You said u was 6’7 B, the only girl that’s not short to you is Candace Parker
And CP3 makes her first non-Champ or Panama-inspired appearance!
*confetti*
sadly, this occurs the day after her sparks were eliminated from the playoffs.
BOOOOOO P-money! I already made the reference to CP3 when referring to Puff and her tall self las nite.
Luvvie I noticed that too…yeah someone is slipping
Napoleon boo..lol and you’re right about those “short brothas” . The need a support group for real..lol
yeah the have all that testosterone packed in those compact little bodies.. Just waiting to explode.. LMAO that’s my theory anyway. I never really had a certain look or criteria based on outward appearance…I didnt really like light skinned dudes but that was more because most of them had bad skin in high school so it was more that I dont like bad skin than light skinned dudes.. I have always had a preference for a certain type of attitude or swagger though.. Dudes always had to have a little bit of an edge and be a little bit cocky for me to be feelin’em
Oh goodness…
My son is both short and light-skinned. What kind of future does my sweet baby boy have w/the ladies??
Dang…that’s what I get for wading in the shallow end of the gene pool. At least he’s smart and ambitious.
its not gonna pay off in high school, but he’ll be fine in adulthood…you know young gals (generally) dont appreciate the smart and ambitious til adulthood strikes!
ya know, you may be okay…when i got to high school, i was a solid 4’11″. my little sister was taller than me. (amazingly, that didn’t mess with my self-esteem). then one summer, i grew like 4 inches…then 5 more…and so forth…out of nowhere…
and my dad is like 5’8″ maybe, and my mom is 5’5″. so i got lucky perhaps…but ya never know…them genes from the whole family may kick in…
assuming everybody’s not under 5 feet tall.
Well, his father is about as tall as you are PeeJay, but my little brother is 6 feet tall. He had that crazy growth spurt in high school too. I honestly don’t see my boy-child growing taller than 5’8″. That’s OK though. He’s awesome anyways.
That’s why I’m angry all the time, thanks for helping me figure it out, I thought it was my dumb ex wife the whole time.
I saw this list of which you speak last week on Sister Toldja’s blog. I didn’t say anything in response. I honestly just wanted to think on it for a long time.
I totally get how some women would get all up in arms over the things listed as “black male privilege”. It’s just some mess going on out here that just ain’t right!
But I had to think about how hard it is out here on the boulevard. Especially for those of us born on or before January 1, 1978. I’m not telling any of my sistern to lower their standards. But nitpicking and trying to apply female logic to men is the wrong way to go.
I would DARE say that 95% of the problems that go on between men and women come from women’s refusal to see men for exactly what they are and respect it. They will never think or do like us. They’re not supposed to and I don’t want a man that does. We are DIFFERENT for a reason.
Refer back to that “puzzle pieces” comparison some astute VSBer used recently if you don’t get what I’m trying to say.
“I would DARE say that 95% of the problems that go on between men and women come from women’s refusal to see men for exactly what they are and respect it. ”
You know you are going to catch hell for that comment….hehehehe.
Very interesting observation. I can’t say that I agree or disagree. I’m leaning more towards agree though.
Catch hell? *shrug* I’ll take that.
I think that argument could swing either way, but I just figure women should know better.
“They (men) will never think or do like us. They’re not supposed to and I don’t want a man that does. We are DIFFERENT for a reason.”
i said this exact same thing a couple months ago, but in regards to women. basically, as much sh*t as i talk about chick logic and ms masochistic, i wouldnt want women to be any other way.
I just hate sh!t like this on principle. Okay there is a disparity between the races but like Champ pointed out there is privilege on both sides of the equation. I think this is some bullsh*t and only serves to divide and promote dysfunction between black men and women.. Most of the issues listed are issues of MALE privilege period that have been slanted. We live in a male dominated society, A society that currently sexualizes and objectifies ALL women including black women. Now don’t get me wrong black women definitely have more to deal with than white women but do we really need a “who has it rougher, black men or black women “issue right now? We each have different crosses to bear and each side has certain advantages and disadvantages but instead of hopin on the first bullsh*t propagandist male bashing or female bashing email and passing it around, posting it in your cubicle and testifying as if it’s gods own truth, how about finding away to lift each other up and finding ways to stop the serious issues of female exploitation and subjugation instead of wasting time on sh*t like this? Even if every single thing on that list is true So What.. what are we going to do now after the email has been posted and passed around? Is there really anything on that list that you were NOT aware of?
yeah, thats kind of my feeling on it…i mean, i cant say that the list is super duper false, but really who didnt know that stuff? now what? is it gonna stop folks from living their lives?
lots of folks like to point out problems without offering solutions….those people annoy me.
“what are we going to do now after the email has been posted and passed around? Is there really anything on that list that you were NOT aware of?”
I can’t even comment after your post Shady-D, that’s the ish right there!!
Very.well.said.
Why is The Man hatin’ on my comment? I didn’t even cuss!
*singing* we shall overcooooome….
also if I seem a little hot about this one its because I received this email over 20 times last week, seriously and every single time it had some bullsh!t caption that went something to the effect of
“A must read for all black women a black brother telling it like it is”…GTFOH….
I am also possibly a teensy tiny bit drunk.. Boys To Men Rocked the MidSouth FAIR
WHOOHOOOO!
I am also possibly a teensy tiny bit drunk.. Boys To Men Rocked the MidSouth FAIR
i’m so jealous you saw boys 2 men… and that i’m stone cold sober.
LOL and they rocked it..I am sad that Bass is not with them but they doin just fine without him… Wanya though has definitely been eating good during their hiatus…..
I was never a BoyztoMen fan. That preppy thing killed it for me. And Wanye was always a cheese burger away from being fat.
““A must read for all black women a black brother telling it like it is”…GTFOH….”
This usually means I skip right over it. As I did with this one…lmao
“A must read for all black women a black brother telling it like it is”…GTFOH….
according to the arsonist, the author was just pandering for panties…and it seems like its working, lol
according to the arsonist, the author was just pandering for panties…and it seems like its working, lol
of course he did, what else was his reason? I seriously doubt that he had an epiphany and was so disgusted by the privilege he has enjoyed his whole life that he felt compelled to write this list. Look at him, this is the ninja with the slick head that will come up to you in the coffee shop or book store….trying to look you all deep in the eyes saying, you know you are a beautiful black woman.. I just felt I had to come and try and get to know you..
GTFOH Lame a$$ ninjas kill me and women that fall into his trap pi$$ me off because in reality has no respect for women. I mean he has to think women are pretty stupid to write this list in the first place and what do we as women do? Prove him right by reading this shyt and dayum near c*mming all over yourself and acting like this is the coming of the new messiah…..
This is what I call blogging for booty.
Sadly some young scamp is falling for it.
Sadly some young scamp is falling for it.
shyt there are a lot of grown a$$ women falling for it too…
basically….which is a shame since so much of this list is retarded.
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
word? for real? and this is relevant, why? but it made his list anyway…
totally out for the drawz.
I only made it a couple points in. I couldn’t stomach the rest of his mindless drivel.
You’re (sadly) probably right but, SERIOUSLY?!?!? chicks are losing their religion over this sh!t?!? I’m sorry but besides the sheer tomfoolery of this list, I’m having a hard time looking at many of these things as privileges. Unfortunately accepted social behavior? yes. The way you were raised? yes. An advantage that males have over females based on gender bias? yes. But a privilege? No.
Maybe I need to talk to Webster again but (and I refuse to go back and look at that nonsense to quote it, so I paraphrase) the ability to threaten women with violence, get paid more than a woman for doing the same job and grab parts of my body in public are not privileges. They are sad behaviors and unfortunate truths of the world we live in. Let’s just try to be better people. As others have stated some of the things on that list, i.e. movie choices, sports and being able to play outside with no shirt on are not really even worth getting into. My biggest issues with the list were the ones that referred to men’s treatment of women as if they had the RIGHT to behave that way because of being a man.
“the ability to threaten women with violence, get paid more than a woman for doing the same job and grab parts of my body in public are not privileges. They are sad behaviors and unfortunate truths of the world we live in. Let’s just try to be better people.”
And THAT is the damn truth.
“My biggest issues with the list were the ones that referred to men’s treatment of women as if they had the RIGHT to behave that way because of being a man.”
good point
and on the short brothas point…
i’m a 5’9″ woman with a 6 inch heels fetish. i can’t come through looking like your 5’5″ a$$’s babysitter, this ain’t elementary school. i mean, dude doesn’t have to be shaq height, , but sometimes us taller ladies need to feel a little small and delicate, less giraffe like and whatnot.
Tall women don’t intimidate me, but that is mostly because women are all pretty much the same height when they lay down.
However, this is coming from someone that is 6′ and some extra change… (how much extra depending on what hard bottoms I’m wearing.)
Tall women don’t intimidate me, but that is mostly because women are all pretty much the same height when they lay down.
I just sprayed water over my computer screen.
“I just sprayed water over my computer screen”
you sure that was water?
“Tall women don’t intimidate me, but that is mostly because women are all pretty much the same height when they lay down. ”
J.R., that’s usually what short guys say–now don’t be stealing lines from the short guys. lol
And there’s nothing wrong with being short–only thing I don’t like is when a short guy has this Napoleon complex and tries to be super macho…super arrogant when he doesn’t have to be.
i was so gonna say that sheila! JR stealing lines from teh short fellas like, dang! they cant have nothin!
as a tall woman, i feel like them short women just be GREEDY! my girl is barely 5′ tall and all her boyfriends be over 6’2! now why the hell she need all that man for!?!? just greedy…
very greedy. lol
alright now…look here…it’s not being greedy. lol. ok, I can only speak for myself but I am an equal opportunity lover! it’s too hard out here to be saying, oh, you’re too tall. let me pass you on to my taller girlfriend.
Poppycock.
lol
THANK YOU!
I am 5 feet 11. I NEED those tall guys! I wish yall short heffas would go the hell on somewhere….there’s a 5’8-er out there with your name on it.
8th wonders [i mean dreams]:
“I am 5 feet 11.”
send pix shootfilm@gmail.com
don’t play with me, GK.
8th Wonder! Tell these tall gentlemen stop pursuing us shorties, with visions of gymnastic-esque circus tricks dancing through their minds. I’d say that tall men are checking for short women a lot more than we are checking for them.
I hate to admit it, but you have a point. Maybe it goes back to the opposites attract thing. But it always does my heart good when I meet a tall guy that wants a tall girl such as myself to make tall babies with.
Or maybe just hang out and get a drink, whatever.
Freshmen year of college there was a pack of pseudo midget chicks: 5’1, 5’2″. They got ALL the tall brothers on campus. Any chick 5’5″ and over had to choose among the shorter guys. Had me thinking tall a$$ men just preferred short girls.
Me: I’m 5’5″ and as long as you are at least an inch taller than me in my tallest heels (I wear heels ALL the time) we can talk. So 5’10 and up. lol.
“Tell these tall gentlemen stop pursuing us shorties, with visions of gymnastic-esque circus tricks dancing through their minds.”
git yo hands out my pockets!!!!
Dang Puff!! Can you dunk? Have you ever tried? Yes I’m foolish. But I’m picturing you in them 6 inch heels. If I could only count so I could figure out what height that makes you. *thinking in head. 6 + 9, carry the one, eff it*.
lol makes me 6’3″ – and i dunked once, and it was sexxy.
Yeah, math is for suckas! (and those that like to do stuff like, you know, count).
And OH SNAP! Didja get the dunk on tape?? I’mo call you Candace Parker Jr. (but I hope you dont do the baby hair like she does)
hahahaha naw girl this was back home when i was like 12, i was in shock that i did it though, running around yelling to my cousins “did you see that?!?!?!?!”
so you dunked a basketball at 12????? and you’re only 5’9”?
i’m sorry, but yeah…you’re gonna need a few more people
i did dunk – the post might not have been the height of a regular one, cos for whatever reason my cousins’ one was stunted, but i did dunk that b*tch.
damn champ, why you tryna kill a poor african child’s dream?
“damn champ, why you tryna kill a poor african child’s dream?”
damn, lol. when you put it like that, i’m sorry and sh*t. i dont wanna kill any african kid’s dreams
@yeah, champ. why you killin’ african kid’s dreams!?
ol’ imperialist somebody…
luvvie got baby hair privilege….
“i’m a 5′9″ woman with a 6 inch heels fetish. i can’t come through looking like your 5′5″ a$$’s babysitter, this ain’t elementary school. i mean, dude doesn’t have to be shaq height, , but sometimes us taller ladies need to feel a little small and delicate, less giraffe like and whatnot.”
Which is why the 5’4 guy who’s been tryna hollah has been getting the big brush off.
puff shares:
“i’m a 5′9″ woman with a 6 inch heels fetish.”
i have a fetish for 5’9 women who have a fetish for 6 inch heels.
fu*k people send proof.
shootfilm@gmail.com
do you need any more proof?
Hedo asks:
“do you need any more proof?”
show me what u got pur lady…
eh heh he…..woo genius baby, I can’t give it all away for free… not in these financial times.
wait, what kind of fetish?
I had never seen Jewel Wood’s list until tonight and it’s frankly amazing. Many of his points resonate with my experience as a black woman, and unquestionably does or will with many women of other races.
I don’t think about sexism much now that I’ve gotten older; it just is, the way that cats are cats and dogs are dogs. Evolution has designed us to behave and react in gender-specific ways that cross every culture on the planet, so rather than fight or complain about Mother Nature, it’s less stressful to accept it and maximize what you’ve been dealt with at birth, ie, gender, height, complexion, hair type, intellectual capacity, personal attractiveness, and class.
We cannot control the lens through which others see us; we can only control who we are what we want to become within the constraints of our social setting. To make sweeping demonizations about the opposite sex and rant about how ‘n*ggas need to change’ or ‘b*tches will do you in everytime’ is futile; energy is better directed at surrounding one’s self with people you get along with and respect you in love, friendship and work, and to maximize every God-given asset you were born with.
As the old saying goes, never judge a person by their family. This applies to their gender and race as well – and for my many fabulous, less tall brothas, their height. *wink*
“We cannot control the lens through which others see us; we can only control who we are what we want to become within the constraints of our social setting. To make sweeping demonizations about the opposite sex and rant about how ‘n*ggas need to change’ or ‘b*tches will do you in everytime’ is futile; energy is better directed at surrounding one’s self with people you get along with and respect you in love, friendship and work, and to maximize every God-given asset you were born with.”
great point
The Black Male Privilege list is just a clear example of an elitist attitude. Maybe Mr. Woods was having a bad day and decided to motivate himself at the expense of others, especially Black women. I don’t think that any man who truly had love and respect for women in general could even believe those statements to be true.
Secondly, Yung Berg is just an idiot. I am not offended by his light skin preference. He is entitled to it. However, as a dark skinned beauty, I want to slap that s%@t out of him for the dark butts reference. He needs to leave whatever he’s smoking alone.
Most of the people I know say that they want XYZ in terms of appearance and their SO looks nothing like that. When people say that they prefer this or that, more often than not, its just a wish list. Like owning Bugatti Veyron. (It’s probaly not going to happen.)
“The Black Male Privilege list is just a clear example of an elitist attitude.”
I’d beg to differ. Is it just me or has the word elitist become more popular since people have began labeling Barack as one?
But yeah, I think the privilege is just ingrained in people of both sexes. Even some of the best black leaders, and those who have really “done it for the community” have benefited from it. I don’t think you’d label those folks as elitist. Now this isn’t to say there aren’t men who have an effed up and skewed view of women. I just think that actual number is lower than people think (b*tches and h*e references aside.)
“However, as a dark skinned beauty, I want to slap that s%@t out of him for the dark butts reference. ”
but at least he gave us a reason to say “dark butts” in everyday conversation. my life is better.
Privilege, schmivilege. The list sucks, and the author shall now be called “Snoop Dogg intern” by me.
*I’m just being a rebel rouser (is that the phrase? Eh I dont care. Shall use it anyway). Why? B/c I’m bored*
heh heh – it’s ‘rabble rouser’, luvvie….but do your thing, anyway – you do it o so well!
“Privilege, schmivilege. The list sucks, and the author shall now be called “Snoop Dogg intern” by me. ”
i’m mad that i’m a huge scrubs fan, but the “snoop dogg” intern quip has gone completely over my head.
here ya go champikins: http://scrubs.wikia.com/wiki/Snoop_Dogg_Attending
yeah scrubs is the sh*t. i know a few sistas that can’t see what i like about it. …and secretly i think they question my blackness because i like it. i know its not a “white” show so to speak but… anyways im a sarcastic azzhole and so of course i love it. …thanks to Dr’s. Kelso and Cox. (and the writers of course)
Scrubs is one of the best shows on tv. I need to add more seasons to my dvd collection. Anyone who can’t rock with that brand of humor gets two thumbs dizown from me.
SHAME on u, Champ. How can you not know who Snoop Dogg intern is?? FOR SHAME!! Hand over ur Scrubs Fanclub card. You will get it back after you pass a trivia quiz.
shame, schmame.
he’s not an intern anymore…..
We all have preferences but unfortunately it seems that some folks try to belittle others to justify their reasons for having their preference.
“We all have preferences but unfortunately it seems that some folks try to belittle others to justify their reasons for having their preference.”
good point
That’s because there is a difference between a preference and prejudice.
You can like what you like, but you don’t have to be hateful or disrespectful towards those that don’t meet your “standards”.
I really tried to dig deep down in my yaya traveling pants spirit to find something to agree with regarding Champ’s post. And the only thing that resonated with me was trader joes. btw, why the he@ll are they giving out free patchouli, its not exactly whole grain tortilla chips and salsa.
i digress…
“also, what the author fails to admit is that we ALL benefit from some sort of privilege”
I really double dare you to find ONE privilege that a woman ACTUALLY enjoys which isn’t defined within a male construct. “pretty” comes from a man’s very subjective definition of what he finds desirable, which usually has an expiration date somewhere around 35/36. “Squirter” again is male privilege because its is rooted in HIS very own pleasure.
The “choices” that women get to make regarding height/weight/skin is still defined within male standards of virility. There are tons of studies that correlate a man’s tallness to his ability to earn a better living. Regarding the darkskinned “leon-azation” of black America. Darkskinned men started to become the cinematic ice cream WU tang flavor of choice right around the time (black and white) MEN brought more of these images to the big screen. Did Julie Dash, Mara Brock Akil, Shonda Rhimes have anything to do with Djimon Hounsou, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Tyson..etc’s claim to fame. Many more of these men truth be told started as models and have white (gay) men to thank for their rise and as a result the universal black women love.
“I really double dare you to find ONE privilege that a woman ACTUALLY enjoys which isn’t defined within a male construct. ”
how about the, “on average, i’m gonna live at least 10 years longer than he will” privilege, or the “because its not a taboo for me to admit to stress and seek medical and/or psychiatric attention to relieve it, i won’t have as great of a chance of suffering from hypertension” privilege?
thats an “occupational” gender hazard, again built and defined by men. At the next male bonding meeting, sports gathering etc etc. perhaps yall should tell each other thats ok to feel pain, express hurt, to seek outside help, to get the prostate checked when yall turn 40.
you can’t fault a woman from benefiting from her own self care. Not every male construct is going to have a long term upside. All personal choices come with a price.
“thats an “occupational” gender hazard, again built and defined by men”
nah. this is done to project a certain image in order to attract women. this isn’t a “created” construct as much as it’s a biological one.
again though…i’m not complaining. i’m just saying that everything that happens in the universe isn’t solely defined by and beneficial to men
“nah. this is done to project a certain image in order to attract women”
disagree. it is one of those things that men have generally decided to use to cope. I don’t think much of it is about impressing the opposite sex as it is as looking like a MAN’s man to your peer.
women do a lot of outside dressing and cutseying up for other women…but men do a lot of “bang bang” chest stuff for other men.
Champ, you need a hug?
you know it. come here and sh*t
*Sigh*
You done f*cked around and said the magic phrase.
I don’t know why but this little exchange reminds me of “From Here to Eternity”
I don’t know why but this little exchange reminds me of “From Here to Eternity”
ummm, i’m gonna need you to start making references to shit thats actually been released in the last 50 years, k?
I agree. This exchange was more like a love scene from baby boy or something.
I’m only off by 5 years. What difference does it make? Not like you leave the cave to see anything anyway
Dang Champ. You aint never told me to come hither and ish. I call FLAG on the play! Penalty is me pouting for 15 mins in the corner.
“Dang Champ. You aint never told me to come hither and ish”
yeah i did. you just don’t remember because of the chloroform
“how about the, “on average, i’m gonna live at least 10 years longer than he will” privilege, or the “because its not a taboo for me to admit to stress and seek medical and/or psychiatric attention to relieve it, i won’t have as great of a chance of suffering from hypertension” privilege?”
great point
I wouldn’t trade my “girl privilege” for “boy privilege” for all the wings in DC. Seriously.
i agree. I’ve mastered the art of having a vag!ina, im not sure what I’d do with my very own pen!is
I’d slap hoes with mine.
Probably why God didn’t give me one.
I would walk around with mine out all the time and act like I didn’t even know. You know like I was senile…LOL!
I’d slap hoes with mine.
Probably why God didn’t give me one.
Exactly.. Id stay with my d!ck on someone’s forehead LMAO sidenote
I had a friend that told me she had to break up with a dude cause she was sitting in the living room watching t.v. and he had been asking her to come in the bedroom. She was ignoring him and he came out and put his dyck on her forehead literally…..and said ignore it now.. now 1. I thought she might be lying but who would lie about that shyt and 2 while it is one of the most degrading things I have ever heard and said a lot about the type of relationship she was in.. that shyt was funny as Hell!!!!
“I would walk around with mine out all the time and act like I didn’t even know. You know like I was senile…LOL!”
im really about to pee on myself.
this is funny.
im not sure what I’d do with mine. Maybe just twirl it around waiting inline at the starbucks. Make it do ventriloquist tricks. It could also be like a magic wand.
LMAO!
Shay-D…why must I cry???
“Exactly.. Id stay with my d!ck on someone’s forehead ”
as far as the pu$$y vs the d!ck..the d!ck is always ignored..when is the last time a pu$$y had to be put on a dude’s forehead to get noticed..
“Make it do ventriloquist tricks. It could also be like a magic wand.”
WHY WHY?!?!?!?! I think I really ruptured a muscle laughing.
“and wetting more womanist mesh panties than free patchouli night at trader joes.”
*hatin* LMAO!
i was gonna say “…if womanists actually wore panties”, but i figured one jab was enough
sex and gender priveledge swings both ways. (male and female) a womans sense of entitlement (many times false and unfounded) is certainly the source of many a questionable double standard/hypocrisy. …and yes motivations for these assesments (both male and female) are important to understand. through selfish motivations to conditioning, many of the reasons and excuses are just self serving and self limiting belief systems.
“a womans sense of entitlement (many times false and unfounded) is certainly the source of many a questionable double standard/hypocrisy”
please expound, gk.
Champ wrote:
“when the topic of privilege and double-standards is brought up though, males are inevitably painted as the bad guy, or at least the only beneficiaries…a statement which couldn’t be further from the truth.
guess we agree. i’m not sure how much more u want me to expound having wrote what u wrote but in essence i’m calling PART of what u describe as [female] priveledge as it relates to double standards: “a womans unfounded/false sense of entitlement.”
i just like asking people to expound, thats all
“…women are generally given more latitude with their words than we are.”
Yeah but men are given more freedom with their actions. Women cannot date like men. Period.
My take on double standards is you have to get in where you fit in. Men have their allowances and we have ours.
Anytime I hear one of my female associates complaining about double standards, I always use one example. (It’s getting old so I have to come up with another one.)
But that example is: If my guy and I are just lying about and I go to leave the room and put on his t-shirt to do so, that’s just fine. In fact it is sexy. However, if he goes to leave the room and grabs my camisole to put it on, that’s not fine, it is not sexy but it is definitely suspect.
“You have to get in where you fit in.”
It seems like everyone should know this, but they don’t.
You’re right, a lotta peeps don’t know this.
“However, if he goes to leave the room and grabs my camisole to put it on, that’s not fine, it is not sexy but it is definitely suspect.”
that image made me choke on my toast and celery
I agree with the thought that women are allowed to say whatever and we are not, but men are almost allowed to do whatever we want.
Example: A sexually inclined man is a playa or g but a woman is a ho or jump off.
The worlds not fair and it won’t be anytime soon, you gotta get in where you fit in
-JM
MrSwagger.com
“The worlds not fair and it won’t be anytime soon, you gotta get in where you fit in”
in a nutshell
“top 5 reasons you can’t let a fat chick meet momma…even if momma’s fat too”,”
I can’t wait till you do this blog entry. I’m sitting here on my laurels waiting on it…cause you already know, I proudly put on for the fat chicks…lmao
I’m too tired to really tackle this topic today, cause I know you guys are just waiting on your chance to paint us into a corner.
Carry on.
“top 5 reasons you can’t let a fat chick meet momma…even if momma’s fat too”, I can’t wait till you do this blog entry. I’m sitting here on my laurels waiting on it…cause you already know, I proudly put on for the fat chicks…lmao”
i was being facetious, of course. my list would only have 2 reasons, lol
::snicker::
““…women are generally given more latitude with their words than we are.””
i totally disagree with this too. If a man ain’t sayin much its because he’s DECIDED to, not because society tells him he CAN’T. I can think of tons of men who NEVER mince their words ever: Steve Harvey, Joe Biden, the writer of the checklist references Joe Madison (on WOL -CahtyHughes’ radio station) that man could hurt your feelings just by saying, hi, Hard Ball’s Chris Matthews, Newt Gingrich, Bill O’Reilly, etc. etc.
black and white…Im sure some people will say that these men are paid to give their opinion but I can go back to alot of men on both sides of my family too. The quiet/muted one’s have CHOSEN not to say much, not because they don’t feel powerful or assured in what they have to say. Refusing to do something is just as powerful as actually doing it.
thing is, ive never disputed that men are allowed to express anger and opinions. my point is that, theres alot more that goes into being human than that, but if a black male openly expresses a feeling of hurt or weakness or depression (emotions that affect us just us as much as they do women) we’re likely to be branded as soft because it doesn’t jive with the hyper-heterosexuality that black men are always supposed to project
Lifted from that list…
“17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring that my wife or significant other be a virgin.”
I’m extremely guilty of this one. The ultimate double standard. See http://threewaystotakeit.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/the-double-standard-of-men-and-women-part-i/
But yeah, women do get away with saying a lot. They can talk all about how they need that big thang, how they need the marathon man, how they need that 6 footer, how they need that pretty pretty dude, or muscular dude, or whatever. Let me start sayin the same publicly and I am the new misogynist. Then again, we do really get to do what we want.lol.
seriously though, although i wouldnt wanna wife roxy reynolds (ok. maybe i would. bad example, lol), i’m not checking for any virgins either. after a certain age, the goal is to have good sex, not to be the first to stick your flag on the moon.
“roxy reynolds ”
I’m mad at myself for knowing who that is…lmao
Don’t be mad – that girl is HOT. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..lol.
At this age, if you find a chick with the V-card you’re more likely to ask questions to find out if something is wrong with her.lol. I’d rather just have a chick with a respectable number of pummel partners. I won’t provide my definition of respectable.
“I won’t provide my definition of respectable.”
Please do…
Dorian’s list of privelege
I have the privelege of being attracted to beautiful women and not being looked at as weird.
I have the privelege of bench pressing more than the opposite sex and not feel ostracized.
I have the privelege of having facial hair, and not being looked at as a freak
…add on
i have the privilege of having testicles, which also gives me the fun privilege of naming them.
what are their names, I am curious as H3ll
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
–dolly parton
as a woman I have the privelage of not knowing how to change a tire, oil, etc and pulling up to the gas station and having someone do it for me
I have the privelage of not being racially profiled driving a black impala with black tint, rims and a bumping system bumping the new TI CD….I got proof too.. My husband gets pulled over all the time in my car while driving the speed limit with his seatbelt on but me, I speed no seatbelt etc and have yet to get pulled over.
I have the ability to report being raped and while my past might come into question my sexuality never will
as a woman I cannot control being objectified and sexualized but I can use this to my advantage… I also control (if I chose) when and how we have s.e.x in our relationships.
oh I also have the privelage of getting pi$$ed at a guy, f*cking up his shyt and still being looked at as the victim
I also have the privelage of getting mad and actually hitting a dude and in most cases not have to fear getting hit back or a domestic battery/assault charge…..
I have the privelige of dangling carrots such as possibility of sex to get free meals, drinks, movies, get help moving, etc..
i think you need to refer the Comeback Girl to your list…
KihsannAllah
“i think you need to refer the Comeback Girl to your list…”
you never would believe this but I CAN READ LOL. additionally not changing a tire, oil etc. Is personally something that I would NEVER EVER do anyway (so for me personally its not privilege to NOT do something I would never consider in the first place, particularly on a car where my spare is underneath my car AND re an oil change I wouldn’t even let my uncles/cousins/father touch the hood much less the engine.
Additionally while I have never been abused by a police officer, I have felt like “do you own this car” while traveling to VA was unecessary given the name on my registration matching my driver’s license.
Priviledge to me implies that one has it better off than someone else do to a sheer lack of effort and thusly able to use said advantage to garner something of value. I honestly don’t see where this is the case. All the superficial stuff…is all very subjective and kind of temporary (even with secret potions and elixers. IMHO.
i have the priviledge of doing the simple things to raise a child( bathing, cooking , tutoring) and be considered father of the century..while a woman can do the same things only because she’s suppose to
i have the priviledge as a black man to sing a whole N.W.A song in the club and not have to censor ni&&a
i have the priviledge to as a tall man to date a girl 5’2”(my wife) or a girl 6’2” and still feel manly
I can see your point about the double standard. I was thinking about that too. I’m cool with people having their preferences. If I don’t fit what a guy wants, then I don’t want him. I have my preferences too. A big one is that I won’t date a guy who does not like sports. I know it won’t work out because I’m a huge sports fan.
“If I don’t fit what a guy wants, then I don’t want him.”
see how easy that is?
I agree that the list is too long and lists some bullshyt things. However, the reason that black women can [sometimes] get away with stating certain preferences is b/c black men don’t really care.
Generally men’s self-worth does not hinge on how the opposite sex views them. One dude stating his preferences on the internet can have a whole heap of women up in arms. It’s like a personal slight to every woman who don’t fit whatever mold he wants. I know that dudes react this way too, but women are far more guilty.
“Generally men’s self-worth does not hinge on how the opposite sex views them”
i have to disagree with this, philly. in our community, for many of us (men and women) masculinity is solely defined by how many women you’ve bagged/f*cked, which definitely does affect your self-esteem/perception of self-worth
“in our community, for many of us (men and women) masculinity is solely defined by how many women you’ve bagged/f*cked”
Amonst men this is true. Women don’t define a man by how many he’s f*cked. We don’t want a h0, lol. In terms of general preferences, dudes generally don’t get up in arms over some chick preferring a certain complexion, height, etc. I just don’t see dudes reacting the same way that women react when a man says those kinds of things. Women take those comments more personal.
“Women don’t define a man by how many he’s f*cked”
maybe not, but in our community, masculinity is often defined by how physically attractive you are and how big your wang is, a truth that goes against this ***”Generally men’s self-worth does not hinge on how the opposite sex views them.”*** statement
“maybe not, but in our community, masculinity is often defined by how physically attractive you are and how big your wang is,”
I am going to have to disagree with this one. If you were to ask most women to do a rank of what qualities were more important in a man (i.e. wang size, sense of humor, conversation, attractiveness, job stability, etc.) wang size/physically attractiveness is typically not ranked as high as guys may believe they are. Despite all of our talk, if a guy satisfies them in all other areas, they will make peace with a small wang.
And we all know that ugly guys get bangin women on the regular…..
“I am going to have to disagree with this one. If you were to ask most women to do a rank of what qualities were more important in a man (i.e. wang size, sense of humor, conversation, attractiveness, job stability, etc.) wang size/physically attractiveness is typically not ranked as high as guys may believe they are.”
i’m not disputing this. i know that ugly, lil wanged men get ass too. my whole point is that many men tie their self-worth into how women perceive them just as much as many women do, thats all
“my whole point is that many men tie their self-worth into how women perceive them just as much as many women do, thats all”
in the words of Katt”b1tch its called SELF esteem”
i don’t want a man-ho either…actually the thought turns me off completely. plus i thought according to the vsb commandments men (or women) shouldn’t be sharing their s3x number anyway. i say keep that ho-ishness to yourself, and let me see your test results. lol.
Oh, this is a good topic – and I feel like wastin’ the man’s time…
The Privelage of Preference vs. Pre-requisite: Shatani mentioned this ealier, and I think she was on point. A preference is just that – what you prefer, not what you’ll accept and love. The only people who really have the power to make a pre-requisite out of a preference are very wealthy or powerful. That may be why most ballers would not put a ring on the finger of a girl darker than Halle Berry. However, that pre-requisite often comes back to bite them in their wealthy arses. See: pretty light-skinned thang that I have made wifey and is now taking me for all of my dough that allowed me to get her in the first place. Why oh why did I skip college to go right into the league? Damn!
MY TAKE: God sends you who you NEED, not who you asked for. If you can’t look at your SO and think “Gee, she/he doesn’t fit my ideal mate list, but strangely enough I’m happy as a clam.” you are probably with the wrong person. Seek help.
Soooo…..why be upset when someone expresses a preference? It has about the same validity as any statement by G Dubya.
That color thang has got people stuck on stupid, though. The way I see it, being brown only keeps me from: a)being the play thing of a wealthy (for the moment) man, b)being a video vixen and c)being with a man who is color struck. Not a bad deal in my book.
I’ve got other opinions on this list, but I’ll share later. Dang boss is coming around the corner…
“I’ve got other opinions on this list, but I’ll share later. Dang boss is coming around the corner…”
did you mean “boss” as in “your boss” or “boss” as in “the best female gangsta rapper of all-time”. i’m hoping its the latter, even though i’m not sure how i’d feel about that boss lurking around corners and sh*t
The Boss was good. I hope she’s okay…I heard she was really sick as for late. (kidney troubles or something)
You ain’t right, Champ. Loco en la cabeza, lol.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women
there is so much wrong with this. for instance, WHY? now that is something i need some context and explanation for.
for instance, i went to an HBCU, and in my first day of “Exploitation 101″ i was very much disappointed that I didn’t learn how to exploit black women at HBCU’s but the class was about the exploitation of women in general, which as you can imagine, didn’t help me out much…
…at my HBCU. I mean if i can exploit women anywhere, which is totally great, then my HBCU just falls in line with life…
however, apparently, the mere fact that i attended an hbcu means that the opportunity to exploit a black woman is increased and honestly, i feel personally slighted that i didn’t get the opportunity to exploit black women WHILE i was there by virtue of being there. i just went to strip clubs. who knew i could just make it rain on them ho*z in class?????
f*ck me. wasted opportunity.
Yeah, I really wish he would have expounded on that.
But then again, his name is Jewel…so I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway.
Jewel? ctfu
This is why this kat needed a list.
He also needs some more people.
A lot more.
Like Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium capacity.
I heart you.
Thanks chick!
P, sounds like you just weren’t up on your “let me exploit you” game. Don’t be mad, playa.
P.S. – when are you gonna get that DC happy hour on? Have I missed something?
I’m working on it. Just locking in a date. The Economy is messing me up! Kinda.
PJ what are some of the dates you are looking at, I may have to feign illness so I need to plan accordingly
i’d like to do it in the next few weeks on either a thursday or friday (thursday might be easier for my schedule)…
a friday would be easier for me…just my .08
Blame it on the rain, Milli. Don’t you know that real g’s don’t let brokeness stop them from spending money?? Seriously, though – aim for a payday, playa.
I don’t understand men and it makes my head hurt. Abiding by the laws of courtship (most of which I learned on this site) is like me consistently engaging in an arm wrestlng match with shaq, with the unrealistic expectation of winning. My double standard gripe for the day: I hate that men set the pace of all intimate relationships. I’m going to go back to work now and sigh. “le sigh”
“I hate that men set the pace of all intimate relationships. ”
LOL!
Cuz we’re the ones that decide when we’re getting the booty.
Oh really?
Someone’s sarcasm meter needs a tune up
Tune deez.
damn, ms p. do you need a hug too?
i encourage both men and women alike to indiscriminately discriminate on others at least once a week. what’s the point of having priviliges and preferences if you don’t take advantage of them once in a while?? unleashing your inner prejudices is fun!! admittedly, i’m particuluarly superficial on mondays and i take that time to appreciate all the ways in which i benefit in this world, further allowing me to determine who is worthy of my affection–even friendship–based on my list of “desirable traits”. those who fall short have to try and reach me on my more sympathetic “have pity” days, which are typically on the third thursday of every month.
now its time for my Starbucks break….
“i encourage both men and women alike to indiscriminately discriminate on others at least once a week”
why limit it to once?
you don’t have to–that’s why “at least” precedes the “once”. for me, it can go on all day every day. but usually i have to take time out of my own vanity to actually work on finding solutions to other people’s issues–damn brain research takes up all my time…
“i encourage both men and women alike to indiscriminately discriminate on others at least once a week”
why limit it to once?
my closest friends are males.. it has helped me tremendously in life.. especially since they represent both extremes.. 1 aint shyt but I love him and the other is the “husband” kind… it helps to get unbiased info and a lot of times when my husband has pi$$ed me off with his male logic my friends help me to understand (not agree) but understand where he is coming from and defuse the anger.
“indiscriminately discriminate on others at least once a week. ”
I do this all the time, when people (those that actually have the nerve to say something) say something to me about me discriminating, I actually tell them I don’t discriminate, I treat everyone withe the same amount of disdain and as if they were all equally beneath me.
“those who fall short have to try and reach me on my more sympathetic “have pity” days, which are typically on the third thursday of every month”
I e-love you and I am going to implement this into my life and call it Gem of the Ocean day, so when I am especially nice to those people they have you to thank for it.
It is done!
“…I actually tell them I don’t discriminate, I treat everyone withe the same amount of disdain and as if they were all equally beneath me.”
i <3 you for this line of thought–it’s like we share a brain. i too have to tell people constantly “i’m an equal opportunity discriminator. anyone unlike me is liable to catch it.”
——————-
“I e-love you and I am going to implement this into my life and call it Gem of the Ocean day, so when I am especially nice to those people they have you to thank for it.”
lol you are so silly for this! but really, i find that it does the atmosphere around me some good when i take a moment from being vain, humble myself, and find compassion for humanity. even people “beneath” us need love to.
“people “beneath” us need love to”
this taken any way is too funny. TRUE and FUNNY!
id like to know why P didn”t take any special offense at the starbuck pit stop.
I read to like 29. My face was all screwed up reading the list. Maybe its because I’m not a man … but I read that and felt violated. Like dude hates women.
Maybe I’ll read it tomorrow when I’m not sleepy and hungover.
“Like dude hates women.”
I’m glad it wasn’t just me, I was picking this up as well.
I felt the same way about that list. Like there was something terribly wrong behind it. It made me feel as if the author’s motives were impure.
I said that earlier.. I mean some of that stuff on the list.. he has to have serious issues with women
I wonder what privileges VSBers would say they get…i.e. tall man privilege, skinny girl privilege. etc.??? Would be an interesting exercise to have folks list what they perceive to be their privileges. OR if they feel like they DON’T benefit from them at all.
come back tommorrow, lol
I’ll be here first thing. lol.
i don’t really feel like i have any advantages. Some of it has been just being in the right place at the right time. Others have been things I’ve had to negotiate. The rest is me being me.
“i don’t really feel like i have any advantages.”
not even after a hit of Starbucks?? i feel 5th element-ish, Supreme Being-like after a Pumpkin Spice Latte. especially on a Monday.
“not even after a hit of Starbucks??”
yeah i take that back, then. I do kind of feel superhero-ish after a good hit of the joe.
I think this Jewel character got beat up by a girl in the 2nd grade and had his rear whooped by his younger sister on several occasions. I think he wants to commit violent acts against women because of this and he does not know of another way to assert his “manhood”.
As for preferences, I think a man’s “preference” for a light skinned woman is laughable issue. Many men claim to have this “preference” but date women who don’t fit into the category all the time. Because it is exactly what they call it, a preference. However, women say they have a “preference” for a tall man when it is in fact a requirement, not a preference.
lol at “rear”.
yup, i’m a 4th grader
It’s my first visit to the site, and I ‘ve definitely enjoyed my perusal. It seems highly entertaining with uneasily swallowed truth so I will definitely return.
We all possess a trait, be it physical, financial, material, that earns us certain privileges. I know smiling at the Starbucks guy will get me an extra shot of caramel in my Frap and maybe a slice of pound cake to go with it. So I show all my pearly whites.
and yet another who <3s the ‘bucks!!
*many black women openly state their preference for darker-skinned males without rebuke, hurting the feelings of many of our lighter-skinned brethren, including our own p the arsonist.*
as a light skinned brovah, I’m crushed about this. I’m an empty shell.
Please Champ! how many times you seen that same sista that says she only dates dark ,bald brothers over 6ft., up in the mall holdin’ hands with a dude that looks like Danny DeVito.
Oh, and I KNOW you know that brother that says he only dates women that look like Rhianna, with a BBW from Monster Island walkin’ around with keys to his crib! Ha!
many black women openly state their preference for darker-skinned males without rebuke, hurting the feelings of many of our lighter-skinned brethren, including our own p the arsonist.*
**don’t get mad my light skinned sistaz and brotheren**
the reason your tone , although beautiful, is pushed away in today’s society is because of years of arrogancy portrayed on tv
and in real life
in movies the “light brotha” is the “fine brotha” with the vain personality i.e shamar moore, terrence howard , billy dee
and they vanilla woman with the long hair is always the stuckup ones i.e whitley gilbert,
to break this trend, know that you are beautiful but dont let the beauty take over you
its because skin color has so many undertones than other preferences like height, weight etc.
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