Wow…almost 700 comments on our 100th post and we managed to bring out a gang of folks who’ve never really commented before.
Kudos. Canons to the right of them. Canons to the left of them.
And for the record, I largely expect all of you lurkers who came out of the woodworks to start commenting now. Change…that’s what Obama’s talking and he’s our Democratic Presidential Nominee. Change, it’s what’s for breakfast.
Two other things – 1) since so many of you do indeed live in the Washington, DC, area I’m going to try to kick off this DC Happy Hour. If you’re interested in coming, fill out this form with your name (it can be a fake name, knock yourself out Slappy McDufferman) and e-mail address so I can compile a list and send out an evite or something.
2) We kcufed up. Yes we. Oui. We kcufed up. I already said that. Luckily it wasn’t our fault, it was Jim Jones fault and you all know this. It’s always Jim Jones fault. And with that said (I will kill ninjas dead)…
The Richard Simmons Award for the commenter most likely to actually meet everybody involved with VSB.com, not in a dark alley (or maybe a dark alley, heh heh heh) and make sure that we’re staying up on our grizzly and give us hugs goes to Intellecutal Hedonist, who has managed to email us with interesting enough things and enough times to make us feel like she’s part of our family. She’s also the person who’s most likely to take it in stride that Jim Jones kcufed us up.
Funny the same songs helped us right our wrongs. Forgive we?
On to today’s post. We just saw the nomination of our first African-American Presidential Candidate. Wow. I honestly thought I’d never see the day. But I did see the day. Me and about 500 folks packed out a nightclub to watch it. By the way Champ, Bonequisha said hi and quit coming late on her child support.
Well the nomination got me to thinking about folks in my life that I’d LOVE to nominate for something. And since we had a gang of nominations (and one erroneous Republican cock-up) yesterday, I figured I’d keep the democracy alive and tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I dated a crazy chick. No, really. I mean she was bonkers. In fact, let me tell you how bonkers she was. She was so bonkers that though we never actually went on a date, we were dating. How in Sam Hill were we dating you ask? Good question. I know this because her parents told me that we were a happy couple and had been for quite some time.
Imagine my surprise. I hadn’t the foggiest.
Bottom line though, apparently I was dating a crazy chick. Just because I didn’t know it doesn’t mean it wasn’t so. It just wasn’t all-the-way so. Just so-so. So So Def.
Well every so often, this nutso broad runs through my mind and I’m prone to stifling a laugh at that situation.
In fact, if I was given only one chance to nominate a person for one award EVER, she’d be the person as I’d nominate her for Craziest Heffa To Grace The Face of Earth for her constant shenanigans and inability to take no for an answer.
I swear, I once told her that I never wanted to talk to her ever again. She called me right back to tell me that she only thought I was joking and that I couldn’t possibly mean it.
I keed you not.
So my good friends of VSB.com and newfound lurker friends who’ve been outed as of yesterday:
If you could nominate any of your past relationships or relationshipees for an award…what award would you present to them? In fact, it can be either good or bad. We all have somebody we can nominate da**it. I’ll save the good ones for the comments assuming I can get to them.
And by the way, the Ike and Tina Award for Most Punches Thrown in the middle of a Quiet Conversation goes to a couple I just saw walking down U Street, NW, in Washington, DC who I’d swear were completely in love if they weren’t beating the horse’s arse out of one another. True story. Even the cop was confused.
Give it to me baby.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
PS I ordered my shirt today. Did you?
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The “This never happens” award sponsored by Jiffy Pop and your good friends at Minute Rice
First, I have to say that tonight was such a historical moment and I was so happy to witness it. I never thought that I would see a day where we would have an African-American presidential nominee. It really brought tears to my eyes.
On to today’s topic, I have met those crazy types. Brings me back to ’96 when a man that I casually talked to asked my parents for my hand in marriage and we never went on a date (true story!). I was 18 and he had to be around 32 at the time.
“Brings me back to ‘96 when a man that I casually talked to asked my parents for my hand in marriage and we never went on a date (true story!). I was 18 and he had to be around 32 at the time.”
you were 18 casually talking to a 32 year old?
GO BARACK!
damn, a screenname containing three of my favorite things. good job
Honestly I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the past 6 years I could vote, I truly believed I must be crazy or in the twilight zone, until tonight. Forgetting all the policies, programs and other things for one second, finally someone at least understands the problems, feelings and frustrations that I AM GOING THRU!
As for the nominations, after watching the Big Red Machine spin tonight, I would like to nominate the GOP for the Camron “U MAD!” award
“As for the nominations, after watching the Big Red Machine spin tonight, I would like to nominate the GOP for the Camron “U MAD!” award”
what…you thought it was gonna be easy? naw…they’re gonna make him EARN this sh*t, lol
The Orange Jucie jones/eminem stan award goes to the dude that handcuffed me to the closet…….
The “most likely ninja to be going around playing happy hooker/reason I get routinely tested” award goes to the ninja who had all the “cousins”
The “makes me wanna lick the rapper” award goes to my husband!!! Who has stuck with me even with my BAC head game..
My husband also wins the Jay-Z BDS and ” Shut em down and open up shop” awards!! I think these are pretty self explanatory
I am giving out multiple “you might be young but you ready” Sweat kelly jackson pedophile of the year award to all the old a$$ men that use to offer to drive me home after majorette practice and sing Morris Day’s “Fishnets” to me..
And the Wesley Pipes quickest way to talk you’re a$$ outta some draws” award and also the Are you serious gold toofus, Rufus, and The T Paine buy you a drink/fell in love with a stripper/bartender award goes to all the random ninja’s I met while being a waitress/bartender at a seedy a$$ strip club…no I aint lying I don’t do VIP’s… I just bring beers and a set up and yes there is a two drink minimum no that doesn’t include drinking my bathwater, sweat or any other bodily fluid
the That aint nothing but an ultra perm/let your soul glo award goes to all the light skinned men with kinky hair that have s-curls that they try to pass off as their natural hair
you truly have a good man, girl! BAC…good man. LMAO!
“the That aint nothing but an ultra perm/let your soul glo award goes to all the light skinned men with kinky hair that have s-curls that they try to pass off as their natural hair”
i hate this isht myself…it ain’t natural if it’s greasy, f*cktard…
“The “makes me wanna lick the rapper” award goes to my husband!!! Who has stuck with me even with my BAC head game..”
i’m still mad, in principle, at BAC.
LOL you trying to make up for your slow start?? anyway thanks to GOODE I got a manual and some numbing mints…I might up the frequency a bit now….LMAO
you should have hubby send Goody Goody Gum Drops a thank you note.
oh I got a few more… The “Juneteenth Give us us free Ms Ceely” goes to the 2 house ninjas I work with that let our southernbelle boss do whatever the he-ll she pleases.. (they ,along with my boss also get the yall gone make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here” /bone thug mo murda mo murda mo murda award….Mr ouija are you with me…….
@Shay-d
Thanks for providing me with a hearty laugh before laying it down. Much appreciated! Beware of these mysterious “cousins” running around….Incest is running rampant out in these streets.
Mo murda mo murda mo murda!
i have a couple folks that could win that award too
The “Eddie Cain Jr Award” goes to the ex that started out great, dumped me when he started smelling himself, got hooked on drugs and then tried to holla at me a few years later!
…. nights like this I-I wish raindrops would fall-all-all-all-all…”
The “Eddie Cain Jr Award” goes to the ex that started out great, dumped me when he started smelling himself, got hooked on drugs and then tried to holla at me a few years later!
…. nights like this I-I wish raindrops would fall-all-all-all-all…”
***on life support***
I am crying, I’m laughing so hard…..haha!
–Sasha Two Pistols
The whole world is an ashtray to Eddie Kane.
Yeeeannngggg
The whole world is an ashtray to Eddie Kane.
That joint and
Aint nobody coming to see you Otis!!! from the temptations are some of my favorite movie quotes…
“nights like this I-I wish raindrops would fall-all-all-all-all”
this is one of the best lines in movie history
Speaking of Morning After. Does anyone else love Frankie B. the way that I do? Oooo-weeeee. Have yall seen him looking extra fresh in the white linen?!?! Frankie can get the ‘I will throw the D’s at the stage award’
I love Frankie B and nem…..
My Favorite? We Are One……Yeah he can definitely get the “aged like fine wine” award….
frankie is my man…i don’t care if he is old enough to be my daddy!
also thanks for the shouting out one of my favorite Fresh Prince episodes….I have television/radio tourette syndrome.. where I burst out into random song/slash television and film quotes and very rarely do they have anything to do with the current subject. glad to see someone else has the same disorder..we oughta form a support group and get recognized in the DSM-IV so I can qualify for ADA benefits….
Yes I definitely would be a patient. I break out with the most randome songs at the most random of times. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this disorder,
This is how my co-workers and I get through the day.
@Naturally….DANG I was thinking real hard on how I can give an award based on Eddie Caine..the only one I could have given was to my father and he is a musician and his last boss was a very famous soul singer that is trying to make a comeback… i would have given them the eddie cain/flash best male cat fight award but I couldnt remember any of the quotes exactly except for Eddie saying “you even trying to Riff like me” and I cant tell the story with out telling the who and the what so.. I
grrrrrrrrrl, the sad thing is I know that doggone movie by heart….
LOL I thought I did but I cant remember that scene now…it could be the severe writer’s block/insomnia I am experiencing hence all the posts at 1 and 2 in the morning CST time…
“The Quickbuss Sniper Award” goes to the guy I dated who broke up with me because his p*nis didn’t work. I’d say that on each of the five occasions we attempted to have s3x, it lasted no more than 30 seconds, followed by a- “…sorry”. I stayed with him through thick & thin, because I was all starry-eyed and ga-ga like Panama after seeing baby pandas with his girlfriend at the zoo. (i just made that last part up…i have an active imagination, remember?) Anyway, I was sprung. So, on the day of our first anniversary, this dude called me up and broke up with me over the phone…yes dude, over the phone. He also told one of my close friends at the time that he planned a celebratory evening of anniversary fun- movie, dinner, hotel, and making out (remember, that’s all we could do). So, up until the time I received this lovely phone call, guess who was in her apartment all day waiting to get picked up? -yep, moi. Then to top off the night, he stood on his roof and shot me through the heart with a semi-automatic and presented me with a box of everything i ever gave him, hence the sniper portion of the award. Suh-weet, huh? I eventually recovered via an organ transplant and learned to love again. Wow! that felt good! Thanks VSB! (btw, this was like a decade ago…so i should actually get an award for keeping my mouth shut & not posting this on a public blog when it happened.)
Moral of the story: never date a quickbuss with a large gun, they’ll get you every time…
Uhhh how did you get sprung off a ninja with bad s.e.x game? I mean I thought thats what got you sprung….
thats not always what gets you sprung, but 9 times outta 10…well, yeah. lol
I was really young….does this count? And if it don’t he had skills in other areas….Can I get my virtual hug now followed by a few lines of quickbuss male bashing? Gheesh! Goodie? IH? Luvvie?
girl you know I e love you and forgive you. You were young and I hope you learned your lesson. ok
**Hugging Patty Cakes, whispering in her ear, don’t do that ish again, ok, ok now run along**
btw
“like Panama after seeing baby pandas with his girlfriend at the zoo.” this made me all warm inside
Pattee(muhfuggin)Cakes!!! you went from this….
“I’d say that on each of the five occasions we attempted to have s3x, it lasted no more than 30 seconds, followed by a- “…sorry”
to thos…
“…So, on the day of our first anniversary…”
for some reason…this doesn’t match to me…I don’t understand how the two can possibly be connected!! I don’t have enough whistles to blow or flags on the play to throw! cheese and rice!! girl that right there is some LOVE…some ole ShadyLady’s BAC getting husband type LOVE…
***winks at ShayD..you know you my gal!!!***
I aint “studdin” you Goode…..LMAO that aint none of my sh!!!t there cause I puts it down in other areas know what I am saying.. I mean he getting some satisfaction but Ol Girl got the rolling stones action and still fell…I mean Was this Ninja like Boris Fine or something..was he whining and dining you millionare style or what?
bueller? Love from my vsb sistas, cmon now?! I was barely out of my teens….I’m gonna go.
I heart you, Pattycakes!! As long as you’ve learned yo’ lesson, I’ll overlook this one!
I was barely out of my teens….
PatteeCakes…(giving the big-sis-luv-u-much hug) the fact that you were in your early 20s give you a pass! I hope you have learned that QuickBuss is grounds for dismissal…for future reference he needs to go just as quick as he “came”!
***secret hand shake (w/ hip bump)***
boo, this kinda makes me sad…cause ninjas with no skillz should NEVER make it past the first bad time, much less to a first anny…the sweetness wouldn’t make it any better.
As a member of Phi Beta Quickbuss, I’d like to say that that brother does NOT reflect the thoughts and actions of us fellow Quickbuss men.
Don’t look down on us Quickbuss men, we run companies, are your doctors, your lawyers. We’ve achieved all of this with the free time that we have not being able to give you more than 20 strokes.
Phi Beta Quickbuss!!!!!
That’s All We Got!!!!
CTFU!!!!
“Phi Beta Quickbuss”
iDied!
LMAO!!! stop it! you know what, good for you declaring your membership loud and proud!
Phi Beta Quickbuss!!!!!
d-weezy! I hate you and love you all at the same time!
ok really ya’ll I wasnt going to say nothing (Lawd knows I wasn’t) but this is the GOSPEL according to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and the Letters from Paul… I know I’m going to the HOTSPOT way down south.
D-Weezy can you write me a script for an inhaler or nebulizer. something about your comment makes my airway less patent w/o any obstruction.
“Phi Beta Quickbuss!!!!!
That’s All We Got!!!!”
ok..this might be the funniest thing ive read all week
Real talk the boy got a gift
THE RICHARD SIMMONS AWARD?!? THE RICHARD SIMMONS AWARD?!? and on the morning AFTER history was made… I don’t know how I feel about that, it’s a mixture between how Tray felt the day after Ricky died when he’s sittin on the stoop with Dough-boy and getting picked last for the neighborhood kick ball game… I’ll have to let it soak in and see how I feel after I’ve eaten the Champ’s toast and had my cofee (your saving grace might be that u feel like I’m part of the family, but I have a feeling that Liz shaking her finger at u had something to do with that).
CONGRATULATIONS IH !) and you respond in true Richard Simmons rant form. lol I got to say it’s a lil ironical. lol
I feel like Rodney Dangerfield, “I get no respect!”
bahahaha lol
LOL I feel your pain IH….They either dont know, dont show or dont care ……about what goes on in the hood…..
I e-Love you!
I LOVE Richard Simmons and so does David Letterman. He has a man crush on dude that won’t quit.
“after I’ve eaten the Champ’s toast ”
nobody eats the champs toast
I did, and it was very DRY!
the “LIl MAMA I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FIXED YOUR FACE TO SAY THAT DUMB ISH” goes to dude I wat on a first date with, we went to see Daddy’s Little Girls-during the scene where the “woman’s intimate massager” is revealed in the medicine cabinet he turned to me and said, “I hope u don’t have one of those, doesn’t matter cause once u been with me u will never need one of those again!”
LOL
now THAT is smoooooth operator!
“I hope u don’t have one of those, doesn’t matter cause once u been with me u will never need one of those again!”
*throat punch*
you know, i have not TRULY woke up in the mornin til miss t has delivered a throat punch! i was waitin too, cuz i wanted to kick old dude in the neck myself….
Good morning everyone!
lol–Good morning Shatani.
Yes, I look forward to her larynx assaults daily as well!
Thanks Alise.
@ miss t-lee,
throat punch was when we were in the restaurant before hand and he COUNTED the change out his pocket to leave a tip!
If I had throat punched him each time he did/said something stupid, by the time we had gotten to the movie he would have had a tracheotomy
“throat punch was when we were in the restaurant before hand and counted the change out his pocket to leave a tip!”
Oh wow, and no home training to boot.
What a disaster.
The award for “Most Testicularly Challenged And Therefore Will Never Provide Me With The Life I’m Accustomed To Cuz I Grew Up w/My Daddy in The Home” goes to my EX-husband. The EX explains it all, much like Clarissa did in my youth. Thank you.
I love Sen. Obama. I am so happy that after 16 years of voting, I FINALLY get to vote for someone I truly, truly believe in. My heart is just full of pride.
“The award for “Most Testicularly Challenged And Therefore Will Never Provide Me With The Life I’m Accustomed To Cuz I Grew Up w/My Daddy in The Home” goes to my EX-husband. The EX explains it all, much like Clarissa did in my youth. Thank you.”
ummm…please expound
Let’s just say I was raised to never see my mama carry a heavy bag, change the tire on her own car, paint a room or contend with disrespectful negroes/bill collectors/government workers. I had a father who was the true head of our family. My Ex never had it, never saw it and was so resentful of the relationship I have with my Dad, couldn’t even learn it from him while we together. I had to dump that Zero and be my own Hero. Hmph.
But a sista is reviewing applications, fa sho.
sounds like you pops spoiled you
sounds like he was a father who set an excellent standard.
I concur.
I’m glad my Dad set such a high standard.
Sounds like he did. What’s wrong w/a man taking care of his wife and making sure his daughters settled for nothing less and his son provided the same? We weren’t rich, but we had a great life.
Okay did you marry in order to move out from under your father’s roof? That is the erra where those rulse were born out of. I got to say I’m proud of you for learning to deal for yourself.
Far too often expectations of people can lead to disapointment.
I had been “out from under my father’s roof” for almost 10 years by the time I married that so n’ so, living on my own taking care of myself and my children, quite well, I might add. I certainly didn’t marry to have to expect to try and raise a 30 year-old man who was scared of the world and couldn’t find his own a$$ w/both hands. I expected him to STEP UP and handle things like a man should. He either couldn’t or wouldn’t. I suspect both. Needless to say, I wasted a good amount of my youth when I was young.
Well congradulations on your liberation. And I’m truely sorry that things worked out w/ only one person growing and becoming a more successfull and productive person. This is a part of why the ex-fiance became the ex (real reason unequal yokedness). Its like you just got to accept people the way they are when you first meet them. If they are that somebody great. If not leave em alone. I wouldn’t say you wasted all you youth you made some pretty brown lil babies and I’m sure there were other +s while you were w/ the ex that made you think things could work out. So Salut to being an awesome parent.
BTW I first heard that quote ‘I ain’t got time to raise somebody’s 30 something year old kid’ in high school. It still cracks me up and is too fitting for certain situations.
**45th Anniversary Brunch of MLK “I Have a Dream” speech at Ebenezer Baptist Church***
That is not being spoiled! My dad was the same way.
“My Ex never had it, never saw it and was so resentful of the relationship I have with my Dad, couldn’t even learn it from him while we together.”
I’m glad that you kicked him to the curb! I can’t believe he was resentful of your relationship with your father. That’s a good thing, not something that should be resented.
Its a wrap. Obama is our next president. He looks presidential. He sounds presidential. He’s already claimed it. And it is done, amen. If McCain didn’t already have so much invested (like Cindy’s money) he’d vote for Obama too.
where was a I…oh yes…I would say the “Egomaniac Award” goes to my most recent ex. Who thought the sun rose and set in himself. We were going somewhere and I thought I was looking cute. (anyway you got to believe it to achieve it see Obama up top. )
Anyway he makes a comment like “why are all these dudes looking at me”. And then he turned and said oh…I guess they’re looking at you.
and his azz was black history two days after…to further cement his egomanical ways when I ended it he told me “YOU can’t end it. YOU don’t leave me. I leave you.”
lol
“Anyway he makes a comment like “why are all these dudes looking at me”. And then he turned and said oh…I guess they’re looking at you.”
you dated tyler perry???
nope but he was from pittsburgh, does that tell you anything?
“nope but he was from pittsburgh, does that tell you anything?”
you sure it wasnt pittsburg, kansas?
“you dated tyler perry???”
Champ, and who made you the Corner Human Resources when CLEARLY, you got a mansion built there.
remember Liz is having a special (padded, yet still cave like) corner built for him
Comeback: If McCain didn’t already have so much invested (like Cindy’s money) he’d vote for Obama too.
Cracks me up, and dang, that should be on a tee-shirt or Obama ad.
Go Obama!
Its true Kit. I need to write Barack-a-wear about a shirt…but my other barack-a-wear is on its way along with my VSB tshirt.
NEWS FLASH: McCain just selected a relatively unknown woman from Alaska to be his VP. I thought he’d go for the Homeland Security guy, Tom Ridge, especially since he’s so old and Ridge has name recognition and is popular with the conservative crowd.
Grandpa McCain just shot his campaign in the foot… or hell, maybe the head.
*dancing with joy*
Oh they got more tricks up their sleeve. Its about to be a real pony show …wait to the latino and black republicans start coming out the woodworks.
He’s gonna give it a good fight. He’s spirited and fiesty..and he gets if from his mama.
“Anyway he makes a comment like “why are all these dudes looking at me”. And then he turned and said oh…I guess they’re looking at you.”
Wow!
yeah thats called “my dumbas%s is stupid for staying so long, because people don’t just SURPRISE show you shyt like this award”…its a slow creep type burn..but I own it.
And he was a diva. And I’ve since decided that I like my vajay jay and I want to be the only one with it while in said relationship.
This is my first post, and I read VSB everyday. I really love this blog!!
But I would like to nominate that dark-skinned Kappa (4th time’s a charm) who thinks he is much cooler than he really is, who thought after 2 sexual encounters (see, not dating, just “kicking it”) he should introduce me to his parents, and some how his bedroom skills (or lack thereof) would convince me to want a real relationship with his bama a** the “Wesley Snipes Dark-Skinned Brotha with a Chip on His Shoulder and Delusions of Grandeur Award.”
” I read VSB everyday. I really love this blog!!”
welcome and sh*t
This is also my first post. Can we share this award? I too have a Kappa I’d like to nominate. He wasn’t bama but thought since he drove an impala (yes, I said impala) and had a degree that he was hot ish. Not to mention his little friend “thumper” the minute bunny.
*note to self: no kappas*
ummm are you from memphis? and was his impala grey? cause I think I ran across that ninja myself…..
Lol. No his impala is black and I’m in STL. Yea ladies stay away from the Kappas. Alphas are the way to go!!!
naw son…that was an alpha that locked me to the closet… Kappas just get on my nerve with that harlem shake/throwing bows/lookin in the mirror joint they do…..
Don’t forget the swirling of the candy cane……suspect to say the least. Or do they shout out “No Homo” as they twirl them over their nimble fingers.
hmmm…nimble fingers… maybe more ninja’s need to be twirling..
oh snap, i know a kappa with the thumper action…though he doesn’t drive an impala lol…needless to say, i don’t take those kats seriously. give me an alpha (or an omega for fun) anyday!
It is written in the Bible
Alpha ~ Omega
throw in an occasional Sigma for good measure, but no where is there mention of Kappa.
Stay away form the K, anyone who can’t sleep at night cause they too damn pretty is well not for me
LOL i like those chants though……I went to London to visit the queen…set it off in the background…..AWWW SHYT now!!!
Let me jump on the bandwagon…LOL!
The “Are You F@$%’in Kidding Me- Jack Rabbit Award” goes to this Kappa I messed with last year who, after 20 seconds passed out like he was the greatest. My response was “Are You F#$%’in Kidding Me….I have to go now!”
Yeah…it’s something about Kappas….. ladies BEWARE!
And an Honarable Mention to the one who had a pet bunny rabbit name “Hugh Heffner”…… Who does that??!!!!!
They are so wack!!! (And I would say “no offense if there are any here on VSB…but you need more people to convince me otherwise!!)
Maybe “bama” wasn’t the best word. B/C he’s from the A, the best way to describe him maybe “fake hood country, self-proclaimed grown a** man, who was callimg himself pretty long b4 Kappa, and who quotes T.I. and Outkast like they are a part of the Gospels.” Let’s just say, he wasn’t very worldly. Or anything outside of Atlanta or the South, really.
the “good luck chuck” award actually goes to…me, because four women ive dated since 2002 have gotten married within 24 months of me ending our relationships.
Holy smokes son! That’s bananas foster spring rolls in my epiglottis. If it’s any consolation the odds are against them if they got engaged outside of the second year of the relationship.
@ wu what you know about them banana spring joints from the PFChang?
That’s that what it do ain’t it. I love culinary creativeness.
and then they topped it off with that pineapple coconut icecream…
Awwweeee sheeeeiiiiiit! Please believe they rocked my world. After that I may have kissed the x-fiance but I was tastin the carmel sauce.
OOOOOH THAT’S THAT THANG!!
*Eh boo, ehh boo. You got a minute to date me? Dating you = training…but I’m trying to make it to the Olympics*
“because four women ive dated since 2002 have gotten married within 24 months of me ending our relationships.”
Daaang.
wow playa…
hey Champ “sidling over to the Champ exposing cleavage.”
Let us go on a couple of dates maybe some of that luck will rub my way
Lmfao…that is selfish, but funny
“four women ive dated since 2002 have gotten married within 24 months of me ending our relationships.”
You shouldn’t have said anything. Now all of these women are gonna want to date you to get married lol…
thing is, i have a history of attracting “relationship-ey” woman, so in none of these cases was it a surprise that they got hitched so soon. since i usually feel somewhat guilty after cutting things off, i do a terrorist fist pump every time i hear about one of them finding someone. one less candidate to slash my tires.
“one less candidate to slash my tires”
why would said candidates be slashing your tires, what kinds of things do you do to these women that they would want to retaliate in such a way?
Hello these people operate under chick logic there’s no tellin what they will do. Plus didn’t you read Champ’s comments first he ‘attracting “relationship-ey” woman’ then he is ‘me ending our relationships’ that is enough to be tarred n feathered in chick world. Right after they dye cast your man meat.
“man meat.” **dead**
you are acting up today
Don’t worry the man meat won’t kill you leave you in a catatonic like state but won’t kill you.
as a reformed property damager..uh no its very rarely just a break up its normally due to lies and deceit as well as gross disrespect……most ninja’s just pass it off as “crazy”
And the Sadomasochist Award goes too….
Envelope Please
*drums beating duhn-duh, duhn-duh*
And the Winner is…K.I.M.’s most recent ex!!!!
“first and foremost, I’d like to thank the almighty God. Next, I’d like to thank K.I.M. for allowing me to rough house her and say stupid shit to her in the bedroom because there is something sick in my head that gets sexual gratification from inflicting slight pain sex. Despite me being 6’1 and a solid 190 lbs and a relatively successful well respected man in Corp America, I CLEARLY felt emasculated; thus, the way to take my manhood and give somebody the business was to be an asshole in the bedroom. *And you know what, I don’t even care if she got hers!”
*Was that TMI?*
I’ve been on vacation this past week. So what that means is I have been drinking heavily and getting involved in all sorts of fun stuff that I am sure one day you all will get to read bits and pieces. The last 7 days really have been something special.
OH and I got a new tattoo. See it here: http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b133/vasbestbbw/2-3.jpg
I don’t even know what to CALL the award to give to DJ Haysoos Freak, but his crazy ass needs one. Hell I need one for actually drunk texting him at 7am on Saturday morning. (<–that drunk texting him? yeah that didnt work out real well)
I’ll have to think of some and come back.
“Hell I need one for actually drunk texting him at 7am on Saturday morning.”
already drunk at 7am? this may be a new record
that sounds like a hadys of a vacation.
no, I was still awake and still drunk at 7am from the evening before.
Si se puede!!!!!
I am so crunk, ya’ll just don’t know!!!
Jermaine Dupri and Rick James huh?
I’d like to nominate that Nigerian kat that I made get offa me mid-stroke for the “worst fcuk in history” award.
Aside from having a footer and not knowing how to work it, he kissed like he was trying to give me a tonsillectomy, and he also completely missed the “man in the boat” during the tongue action session. Felt like a dog licking on my ankle and ish.
It’s a no go.
I’d also like to nominate the crazy kat (sorry I don’t remember your name) for the “most likely to get maced if I ever see you again” award.
You started out like a nice guy. You approached me at my side hustle at the mall back in the day. Asked for the number, I gave it to you. Problems started when I got out of work and looked at my phone and you had called me 15 times in 3 hours. Red Flag #1. When I called you back the next day you started telling me of your crazy fantasy involving a girl kicking your arse. You even told me you bought me some steel-toe boots to help in the process. You’d also pay me five hundy as well. My brother is still mad at me because I didn’t allow him to pull a switcheroo on you. He wanted to split the money and kick your arse. LOL
I’ma think of few more I’m sure.
dang miss t, youre my hero!! i need to kick more folks out midstroke for that silly non-dickery!
my heart goes out to the poor neglected man in the boat!
I’m not believing that a Nigerian dude didn’t put it down. Its like saying a Mexican dude can’t mow his lawn.
Believe it. He didn’t.
I’m forever done with Africans for this sole reason.
awww man! one no-talent nigerian is gonna spoil the whole continent for you!??! thats a shame!
I know right? Ya’ll should tell him he let his continent down.
He did not put on for his continent. Booooo @ him.
I knew a Mexican cat who couldn’t cut grass. We called him X-man cause we figured he had to be some sort of mutant.
There goes his career in landscaping.
Not a mutant.. LMAO the things ninja’s come up with!!!
LMAO! Dang, a Mexican who can’t mow his lawn! I literally laughed out loud.
Girl, why was I screaming Si se puede at the TV last night? B-Rock had me all kinds of crunk!
You know we gotta be billingual down in here!!!
We went to a watch party last night and we was screaming in English and Spanish…lmao
i knew a crazy one like that…gave him my numerals, and that n*cca blew up my phone over a three hour period. i refused to call him back. i finally went ahead and chatted with him about two months later. that confirmed the crazy, and i wouldn’t talk to him after that. took about six more months before he finally stopped calling me.
“Felt like a dog licking on my ankle and ish.”
spit out coffee on brand new ergonomic smart keyboard**note to the Champ** your toast is really dry
Sorry ’bout your keyboard, but that was real talk.
I think he licked my thigh, he was nowhere close to the main ingredient.
REALLY! I want you to stop. LMAO!
Your posts should now come with a warning.
example:
CONTENTS OF THIS POST WILL MAKE YOU EJECT FLUIDS: READ CAREFULLY
“CONTENTS OF THIS POST WILL MAKE YOU EJECT FLUIDS: READ CAREFULLY”
This could go really well, or really bad.
yeah DOUBLE ENTENDRE was intentional
have I told you I liver you today?
Wu~u so silly, lets get a drink over the weekend?
Don’t lie to me like that w/ these Native American roots there will never be just ‘A’ drink. lol
What is it about Kappa having long schwongs but not knowing what to do with them?!?!?! That pi$$es me the fcuk off. It’s like if you’re not going to use it correctly, give it to the needy. Someone who will put it to better use mofo.
It’s so, so sad.
I would also like to give the Laurie Ann “Boom Kat” award to a former rapper boyfriend who was ALLLLWAYS listening to beats or imitating the beat using the boom kat method
I just choked on my tea.
Dang, that is bad as the dudes that walk around rapping all the time… ewwwww gross
aw honey he did that too… weak rapper face A$$ ninja….
“Old no-deal looking boy…”
Ol I wanna rock right now a$$ ninja…..
the Jodeci “Don’t talk, just listen”/Can’t fcuk a dumbazz Award goes to that young boy with the gorgeous skin, lovely body and low IQ (now, not statutory rape low…just really not bright) i was messin with.
i would say, you know who you are….but you probably don’t. *smdh*
“i would say, you know who you are….but you probably don’t. ”
lol…i just chocked on some misto.
You aught to be shame. You short bus pimp you. lol
Let me slide in here and comment because it seems that all the other lurkers have done so already.
Congratulations to all you Americans for finally having a candidate that you can vote for AND believe in. Watching American politics from north of the border has been ‘interesting’ over the past 10 years to say the least. I hope Obama will bring the change that he promises.
I’d give myself the ‘Lurking Canegress’ Award for daily reading but never commenting on the site. But now that I’ve commented I’m probably disqualified. Besides, I’m sure there’s at least one other Canadian reading here.
“I’d give myself the ‘Lurking Canegress’ Award for daily reading but never commenting on the site. But now that I’ve commented I’m probably disqualified. Besides, I’m sure there’s at least one other Canadian reading here.”
you know, next to philly, canada’s my favorite state
‘you know, next to philly, canada’s my favorite state’
you wrong but oh so funny shout out to the country of Africa lol
The “Don Cheadle’s flaring nostrils” award goes to the brother that I danced with at the Nas/Kweli concert Tuesday whose breath was so foul I think it straightened my afro in the back!
The “tippee tow” award goes to my House of Blues hookup…who got me into the aforementioned concert because he wants to “date” (see: taste) me and probably could too if it weren’t for that Pootie Tang pony tail!!
The “shouldaboughtahonda!” award goes to the truck runner, who I still swear spoke in tongues that made me see jesus!
The “I Used To Love HER” award goes to a man named MIC…
The “MySpace to MyPlace E-Swagger” award goes to every ni99a on MySpace that has come to my page “showing sum luv” in the hopes of e-ho-ing with me but would NEVER had said a word to me in person!!
The “computer love, in this club” award goes to my boy JayDubya…because he could get it in the club! duh!
“Pootie Tang pony tail!!”
LOL..dead.. ***dials 9-1-1***
Sa da tay!!
i just flatlined myself @ the Pootie tail…that isht don’t work for everybody, just Pootie!
@ Comeback Girl~how can you dial 9-1-1 after you die? That is truly a skill.
People do it all the time. Wasn’t my time and I stepped away from the white light. God gave me a bus pass ** see**.
Yeah and nobody faults you for giving this cat shyt all the cats on the list the nay-no my sister
you ma’am are a DAYUM fool! LMAO
tippee tow!!! lmao…hot damn mess!
Sadah-tay!
“The “Don Cheadle’s flaring nostrils” award goes to the brother that I danced with at the Nas/Kweli concert Tuesday whose breath was so foul I think it straightened my afro in the back!”
you know where to go
The “Don Cheadle’s flaring nostrils” award goes to the brother that I danced with at the Nas/Kweli concert Tuesday whose breath was so foul I think it straightened my afro in the back!
had you walkin around, half pressed, and half afroed out? bwahahaaha
I am dead. The funeral will be in the church’s chicken parking lot. Bring $5 for 2 wings and biscuit. *smh*
Okay this is my last award… I think…I would like to give the award for “Most likely to be the reason behind procrastination” award to VSB.Com…I have written more on this page alone than I have in the last month on my novel. I have also not completed my month end attendance and sales reports, and Right now I am up waiting for a 9:15 conference call because I was up all night posting to this site and I Know if I go to sleep I will miss it. I will also probably be listening to the call and thinking of awards to give out…..it can also be called the “wrong shyt for a ninja with an addictive personality to find out about” award
ooooh, i feel this one, girl! im sittin here RIGHT NOW reading instead of doint research for my dissertation! i love it here!
VSB got my vote!
true…on that note…I would like to create the “WARTHOGS GOT ME FIRED” award for the V the S and the B…for being my new e-home…where I chat with my e-fam and and e-kickit big willy style as opposed to you know actually working at work…who knew??? LOL How about you ninjas start a VSB job board, because I am about to be needing a new massuh!
Its because of this site that I have yet to complete Metal Gear Solid. You are getting in the way of my other methods of bullsh!tting. I still haven’t gotten to the other parts of the city in Grand Theft Auto.
You see this is why there are so many gubment workers on here. We got unions bytchs. Unless I Lutrel Spreewell my boss and he dies in my hands on the clock. I can’t get fired.
LMAO!!!!
WOOOOO HOOOOOO. LMAO ROTFL
“I Lutrel Spreewell my boss and he dies in my hands on the clock.”
I’m in two unions! TRY TO FIRE ME BEACHES!!!!!!!
HAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA!
*secret handshake*Daps IH*kisses the rings*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMEUqMLOCPk&feature=related
Hey peoples. I would give the “You look so dumb right now…take a bow” award to my ex. You put on a show, but now you’re crawling back. Not interested so keep it moving.
Oh, the “Nice Guys Finish Last” award goes to the nice friend who I didn’t pick. Your homie was an ass and I should have stuck with you. Sorry.
I’m sure I have some more.
“Oh, the “Nice Guys Finish Last” award goes to the nice friend who I didn’t pick. Your homie was an ass and I should have stuck with you. Sorry.”
lol…this award would suck.
Let’s see…I gotta give the “Really, N*CCA…KILL YO’SELF!?!” award to a few kats this AM:
(1) my most recent ex, for not being able to man up and do what needed to be done…I hear he’s having the same problems with the wife now.
(2) the ex-bus driver I used to mess with on the rebound…for thinking that his dack was gold and I was gonna fall all over him like other women had…
(3) my “friend” from college…who really is my friend, and whom i love dearly…for asking me to be his baby mama and give him the child to raise…cause we’d produce a genius…but he has “issues” with marriage and can’t commit.
Honorable mention goes to this dude I met last year from E-Harmony…who was looking for a wife to help pay bills, fcuk, and take care of his teenage (dayum near grown) kids. No dating, just interview, meet the kids, and move in, all in six weeks or less. Needless to say, I’ve sworn off online dating forever…
“Needless to say, I’ve sworn off online dating forever…”
Um why were you online dating in the first place?
curiosity, and because the kats in my area are wack. guess what…they’re apparently wack everywhere!
My homegirl was having a bad experience on E-Harmony as well. They kept setting her up with kats on the other side of the country. I was like, there isn’t any local men who are compatible?
I’ve never done the online dating thing, and this isn’t convincing me to try it.
so true! on and off line…it don’t matter…wack is as wack does!
Needless to say, I’ve sworn off online dating forever…
ok…ummm… I gotta clarify this…
online dating in a sense that you are PAYING (or enjoying a free trial) to be on a site that is specifically geared toward RELATIONSHIP building…YEAH scrap that sh1t!
online dating in the sense that you are on a social networking site e-meeting people that you might kick it with in real life…shouldn’t be an issue…
I say this because you can meet people that like what you like and just be cool…or actually decide you are interested in someone…there is no pressure to get married. lol… you can look at a profile and read about me sections/blogs in order to evaluate sanity before you even reply to a message…that doesn’t happen in the street…you may not know they study Santaria until date 3 or so…and by then, they have already stolen a lock of your hair!!!
I’m just saying!
“online dating in a sense that you are PAYING (or enjoying a free trial) to be on a site that is specifically geared toward RELATIONSHIP building…YEAH scrap that sh1t!”
free trial girl…i ain’t NEVA paying for that isht! too many free ways to meet wack ones. unfortunately, the commercials made me curious…trust, it only works for the 2520s…
And the award for Most “That Ni99a Ain’t Sh*t” Awards in a Single Post goes to………………………………
The Bitter Broads at VSB
“Bitter broads”
For real? It’s like that?
Hmph.
Hey… I at least gave my husband some prop awards… LMAO
I’m not bitter.
I’m stating facts.
The “I’m sorry I broke up with you two months ago, but I really trust your judgement so can you help me pick out a Valentine’s Day gift for my new girl” award goes to my arsehat of an ex-boyfriend.
And the “I now realize I’m stupid for helping him to pick it out, but I honestly thought it would be a show of friendship that would bring him back to me” award goes to my sorry arse.
The “I’m sorry I broke up with you two months ago, but I really trust your judgement so can you help me pick out a Valentine’s Day gift for my new girl” award goes to my arsehat of an ex-boyfriend.
an “arsehat”?? that soudns like an award in itself…a fool!
Yeah, “arsehat”, that is the new hotness on the boulevard!
ok really!
“arsehat” – Love it!
“that is the new hotness on the boulevard!” – LOVE IT more!
“The “I’m sorry I broke up with you two months ago, but I really trust your judgement so can you help me pick out a Valentine’s Day gift for my new girl” award goes to my arsehat of an ex-boyfriend.
And the “I now realize I’m stupid for helping him to pick it out, but I honestly thought it would be a show of friendship that would bring him back to me” award goes to my sorry arse.”
you need a hug.
or a strong ass shake
I got an ex-girl who should win the “best head EVER award”. *pouts that he let that one get away*
I have another girl who I nominated for the “I’m sorry I lied about being on the pill award”
*I almost killed her*
I have another girl who I nominated for the “I’m sorry I lied about being on the pill award”
*I almost killed her*
bwwwwaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa….dawg…are you typing from jail? Oz much? nah for real…that’s mad ckufed up! she def earned an award!
“Oz much??” just got added to my daily vernacular! im just sayin…
I have another girl who I nominated for the “I’m sorry I lied about being on the pill award”
*I almost killed her*
oh damn, lol
The “Unicorn-ball” award goes to the self proclaimed ‘entre-po-negro’ who had delusions of grandeur with failed foolish “business” ventures and the corniest, cheesiest business cards with mispellings and printed at home on flimsy paper… (damn the power of good sex… lol)
(I just wanted to say something with unicorn in it, because I have had unicorns in a comment for 3 days straight, i’m a dork)
corniest, cheesiest business cards with mispellings and printed at home on flimsy paper…
I don’t even know him and I hate him! (smfh)
Welcome to the 1st annual Monk Awards!!
insert *cheers and applause*
And onto the Relationship Category…
*And the Jay-Z “Can I Get An Encore” Award goes to…My ex senior year in college!! (insert applause) It’ll never happen, but sometimes I wish we could do it just one last time.
*The Biz Markie “Just A Friend” Award goes to my homegirl back in the ‘D’. She’s attractive, cool, funny, and my mom think we’ll make a cute couple but I could never be in a relationship like that with her. We just have too much history and know too much about each other…it’s better we’re just friends.
*The “Best Week Ever” Award goes to that special girl. *Monk points into the crowd* You know who you are.
Like the Roots, we’ll proceed to the VSB category…
*The “I Love Your Head” Award goes to…GOODENESS!! And no, it’s not your tongue rings…lol. I just enjoy your wit, humor, and ummm…brains.
*The “Gimme That Beat, Fool” Award goes to…Petey Jakes aka The Arsonist!! Sorry, homeboy but your love for music and vast collection, I’d have to run you for your IPOD. I know it’s bangers up in that joint.
*The “I Like Your Style” Award goes to…Genius Khan. I really enjoy reading your point of views and I think we see eye to eye on a lot of things.
*The “Keep It Trill” Award goes to…noneother than K.I.T. (Keep It Trill)!! I dig your insight and your blog is definitely award-worthy.
Thanks for attending this year’s Monk Awards!!
I like brains
Zombie much lol
that makes me think of Return of the Living Dead when the zombies ran aorund screaming for brains
BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS
it was a lil creepy. love that movie tho
ooh man I’m glad you got the referance. You hittin the happy hour when it hits? I feel like I need to meet the master of mamary massage and the Whodat of hood rich in person.
I’m thinking about it. I wouldn’t want to destroy any of your political aspirations due to your association with a delinquent such as myself. People fail background checks just cause they gave me dap.
lol you don’t know where I’m from son. I like to call it the real DC (dirty city). Shoot the brown paper bag that they refered to in the wire was north of down town in it’s hay day. and now the city is barely surviving on 30% of the population paying property taxes and that may be the buisnesses alone. N E way I’d rather just be the man standing next to the got dang man standing that called yo picalo player a mother father.
DAMN! I will never become a Dean of Students thanks Deviant
Smoochies, Monk! I didn’t even know you visited that often. Stop being a lurker! And smoochies again!
*The “Best Week Ever” Award goes to that special girl. *Monk points into the crowd* You know who you are.~Thank you Jimmy Early (Jimmy got, Jimmy got, Jimmy got SOUL! )
and Jimmy want some of yo chocolate cake… LMAO
that was my second choice for a quote. LOL!
shut up! rofl that is my fav part of that movie.
LOL I like when he was at the table talking about.. Who was the first to put glitter on my shirt and fall down on the stage screaming? LMAO
Shay-d you keep it up you gon end up seeing my M-town swagger ahahahhaaa
AWWW ninja.. you dont know nothin about the M-Town!!!! LOL
Girl what evuh my Mama was born in a house on the north side whu whu lol
**gangstuh walkin around cubicle yellin MAIIIIIIIINNNEE**
AWW HE-ll to the naw I graduated from Northside… gangsta walkin…walkin..keep gansta wwalkin…
MONK…when I read that…I just KNEW you were gonna go left with it…but you kept it right! lol…I am all blushing and sh1t! THANK YOU LUV! (curtsy) cuz I’m a laaaady! this has been the best week ever for the GOOD…ya’ll make me smile!
I would like to nominate you, MONK, for the “I’m-no-ho3-reng-gay-key-oh” award for standing up for the sistas in the video/urban modeling industry…It was so dope to see a brother support something that didn’t get him drawls…when it easily could have gone the other way! kudos!
Monk says:
“*The “I Like Your Style” Award goes to…Genius Khan. I really enjoy reading your point of views and I think we see eye to eye on a lot of things.”
Monk homey i just saw this. two awards in two days. i’m honored. …humbled even.
more importantly & btw, u know we do similar work. i thrive on the collabo. i get the best outta myself and others when i can argue and build in a fam type collabo. great minds think alike. i also believe everything happens for a reason and every rain drop that falls at my feet is for a reason and purpose that presents a potential life path. …ours for the choosing.
beholdeth he that sees beneath the deep wonderous and amazing things.
let’s twist hollywood into a pretzel fam. i’m in the A regular. we ain’t going nowhere so lets lettem know we here now.
SALUTE!
Okay one more …. The “Top Flight Security o’ da World” goes to a guy I know who tried to holla at my friend and put police officer on his myspace and facebook profile, but is just a rent-a-cop… smh… the troof ain’t in him
My first official post… wish me luck, lol!
The “O Rly? Side Eye” Award goes to an ex’s mother… who informed me that 1.) my complexion and her son’s complexion would make some really pretty babies (she was color-struck as hell) and then informed me that 2.) twins run in her family (and in mine, i’m a twin too) and that she wants grands before she got too old to play with them, preferably two kids at one time (like i could control that)…
mind you, i was 19 and in college and he was a month from turning 18.
The “D*ckmatized” Award goes to me… because that same ex had me so “head-sprung”(*wink*) that I overlooked the fact that he was a young-acting, needy mama’s boy/ex-dope boy with abandonment issues (is it possible for guys to have daddy issues? if so, he did.), whose only goal was to get me pregnant, then marry me, in that order.
so mad at “in that order”….and yes, men can have daddy issues too!
I’m so serious though.
It was one of the major reasons why I ended things… That, and the fact that he cheated on me and got his one-night stand pregnant.
ah, i see…you was effin with the Urban Johnny Appleseed! *smh*
“My first official post… wish me luck, lol!”
good job
This has nothing to do with anything here but I had to say it.
This dude in my office said he would vote for McCain cause he picked a VP that he feels is bangable. I think he picked a female VP to scoop up all those pissed off feminists that wanted to vote for Hillary just because she’s a woman.
I think he picked a female VP to scoop up all those pissed off feminists that wanted to vote for Hillary just because she’s a woman.
I agree.
my coworker and I concur with your statement Deviant!
which one the VP is bangable or McCains reasons for picking her
both
I just looked at her bio and I’ll say that she is not ugly.
She’s not hideous.
i agree. she has a bit of a “tina fey’s older sister” vibe going. she’d get cheesesteaked
some other guy here said he would f*ck her in the mouth. I’m guessing he approves of her.
or at least of her mouth.
**am very glad I don’t work at deviant’s job**
they keep the f*cking in the mouth to a minimum here. only during lunch hour.
@ miss kate~ you must not have an oral fixation
I agree. I was just saying that at work. The media portrays her like a mini McCain because of her views. But he picked her simply because she is a woman, and every person that still wants Hillary but doesnt really care for McCain or Obama, will possibly be swayed to McCain now because of the pick. Its SHULLBIT but its a sad sad reality. Politics, go figure.
the GOP knows how to do that politics sh!t. You gotta hand it to them. They have big ol platinum balls.
the GOP knows how to do that politics sh!t. You gotta hand it to them. They have big ol platinum balls.
with diamonds in them…I am so sad right now…I am worried about my boy B on this one now..fuggin haters have a more viable chance to steal his thunder…I hope the country sees through this phuckery! It’s obvious deception to secure some press…sort of like any chick actually “loving” Falva Flav!!!
I agree deviant.. I thought it was kind of a smart move actually……we have a lot of pissed off white women out there who were waiting on a reason to justify not voting for Barack
Exactly.
Its a genius move. They are douchebags but they are master politicians. But to be a master politician isnt being a douchebag a prerequisite? If I didn’t want to club them all with a jagged bottle I’d give them props.
Fa sho. The McCain pick was brilliant. Not only is she female and could get some of those upset Hil voters, she is also young and, being a gov from Alaska, she is a “political outsider”. Chick has a son on the way to Iraq so she can “empathize” with parents of soldiers. Having a kid with Down’s Syndrome will endear her to some. She has 5 kids, btw, so the working mother thing is in her corner. She’s a union supporter and could appeal to working people. No experience? Not really an issue I think for a VP. (ummm…Cheney! Dan Quayle. lol). And she is still conservative enough to not turn off die hard righties. I hate to give credit where credit is due but…the Republicans surveyed the landscape, saw a gap and tried to fill it. They’ve upped the ante. I am nervous.
He is sooooooooo effing thick like he thinks he can avoid the truth that is Obama. Mad shout outs to my brother the Kenyan blood runs strong given that we’re renown for marathons Mcain doesn’t/shouldn’t stand a chance/ in the way of change. I’m so fired up right now. How does he expect to fix your international image if he keeps on pulling Dubzies and mixing up countries. Word we don’t take kindly to stupidity.
“I think he picked a female VP to scoop up all those pissed off feminists that wanted to vote for Hillary just because she’s a woman.”
I concur. But McCain is so inconsistent. He gets on Barack for his lack of experience and his VP choice is a 1st term governor of Alaska? I’m puzzled by his choice. I see the choice backfiring on him…
he wants to cover his bases. She cancels out some of his negatives..old, out of touch with younger folk, no internet access, might die tomorrow, not feminine, non-bonable
now the fact that he could drop dead at any moment looks like more of a positive
It’s a smart move on McCain’s part in that he’ll snatch up some of Hillary’s supporters. She’s likely to get votes from mothers too because she’s a mother of 5 kids….I can’t wait to see the debates between Biden and Palin. Can there be a bigger gap in foreign relations experience?….
in the 04 elections, more than half of the married women who voted voted Republican. Of women with children, they split their votes evenly between Dem/Rep. McCain is trying to lock up the female vote which is huge.
Foreign exp. for a VP is not nearly as big an issue as it is for a Pres., which is why B went with Biden (a safe choice in my opinion that doesn’t fit with his inspiring message of change).
All this said, I don’t think it was inconsistent at all. He proved he goes against the grain, something he is always touting. I actually had to smile at the f*cker when I heard the announcement. She balances out his negatives.
This may not be good.
“The didnt I tell your a$$ I was abstinent, why do you keep asking, you know what stop calling me” award goes to M.
The ” ‘Left Eye’ Lopes I will burn your house down, you will be with me” award goes to DLJ for being a stocker-esque boyfriend in high school….yeah crazy stalker tendencies in high school, scary
The “Grrrrrrrr man on Waiting Exhale” award goes to TD for well you know.
The “Oh its so cute, tell him to come out of his shell, so my kitty can play with it. Look at the lil baby, look at it…” award goes to my ninja, we cool but I dont do baby turtles or baby anything.
The “12 Play-Welcome to my Sex Down-Body Rockin KNockin Da Boots” award goes to HIM.
The “You Tryna Help Ike” award goes to DC, unlike Tina it only took me one time to get hemmed up to know that that wasnt the life for me.
The “12 Play-Welcome to my Sex Down-Body Rockin KNockin Da Boots” award goes to HIM.
***blows whistle***
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOACH!!!!!!!!
FU.NI.BI. Mic-check one-Unicorn you are so incorrect but thank you for playing this round of Whose Award is it?
“Welcome to my Sex Down”
I still have this CD. lol
Link come back, dawg, come back!!!
Man….I have so many memories from that dayum CD….makes me wanna say, “Abstinence= Tried it. Failed. Whose next?”
You and me both.
you know once you pop, you cant stop!!! LMAO
I’ve stopped for a while now…l0l
I know mines got cob-webs and I think my hymen may have started to regenerate.
“I know mines got cob-webs and I think my hymen may have started to regenerate”
“I know mines got cob-webs and I think my hymen may have started to regenerate.”
Good to know I’m not alone in this.
We all we got.
I told Goody that when these troubled waters are finally soothed, there will be a LARGE plume of smoke like an atomic bomb has landed somewhere. You will see it and you will know that Abstinent Abcde has left the building.
Good loving, body rockin, knockin boots all night long.. ummhmmm…..
meet me in my bedroom for some Body conversation…mental penetration
all i wanna do is sex your body down….
slow rolling in chair humming…
whew girl….I need a fan, a tall glass of cold water and a vibrating chair…just for a second…I gotta rep my shirt right, woooo saaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh…I done gone this long without any kinda of penie-tration I can make it a little longer. But dat dayum Link, can do a sista in. I need to go pray…….be right back…
Sorry Can’t resist being the DA. **standing in front o U w/ hands in back pockets to make slacks tight n givin up the full frontal cck print** lol
Shouldaboughtahonda…whatshundadondidnow….get the behind me Satan…I shall not, I shall not be moved…can you scoot up a bit, there is a shadow and I cant really see it. LOL! Back to the prayer closet…
tippytippyhaveanothermaitaiUcanrideinmyhyundai&untiemybowtie as long as you can drive stick Yeah com on in the room cuuummm onnn in the roooom! lol
OMG what have I just done?
Gasoline tighty whiteys…kerosene body oil…Nike tube socks, pulled all the way up…waiting on the bus stop for the Hell bus to pull up. **I have a seriously need-psychological-help for my tighty whiteys and tube sock fetish** Might as well enjoy the view while I am waiting on you to board. LOL!
You shooot I got napalm palmade in my hair tiger wood chompers in for long lasting teeth gnashing and a key harmonica to make sure my whaling is on point. w/ a 10 foot lightning rod on a kite w/ the keys to Hades on the end of the string. Cuz I know I’m getting struck. *humming* sooon will be donnne Trouble of this world Trouble of this WOOOORRLLLD! Tightie whities n tubes hunh? Sounds like a Tumultuous Temptation for Tremendous Testimonyl over cotton undies. lol
Forgive me Wuda for I have sinned. I had naughty dirty Adina Howard-Luke-R Kelley-Link thoughts and I liked it. I even gave into my Tighty Whitey fetish and changed into my t-shirt and my granny’s. LMAO!!!!
penitent woman kneel for your absolution. And replace that t-shirt n granny’s for a sundress (Lord knows I can’t resist a spaghetti strapped sundress). I got my all white tubes tall ones like baseball players wear (3 stripes if you like) n tighty whities (got it tucked to the side in the elastic band cuz it hides it and feels good) planning on sliding through the hard wood floors of your mind all weekend long. Up sorry but play time is over only got 2 more mins on the plantation b4 the long weekend. lol Do it Jeeeeesus!)
i’d like to give the Magic Hands award to that brotha that had a sista callin God before the festivities even began! im startin to tingle just thinkin about it! le sigh…
I’m gonna le sigh along with you.
Whew…
***fanning herself***
***standing in the shower***
Hmmm….the Hannibal Lecter award goes to the guy that was kissin’ on me, there *looks down* and bit me, talkin’ bout broken skin a bit too close to the goodies. praise Him, I’m not permanently scarred or disfigured.
The, “nope, you don’t need to pass me my draws cause that’s how fast I’m leaving after that nonsense” award goes to C. Cool dude but no, I don’t want to play with you anymore.
The “jungle fever” award goes to…random white guys who’s name i can’t remember for trying to hide me from his white roommate who came home a little early one night when he was trying to get it because apparently, he wouldn’t take so kindly to me being in his house…yeah, left treadmarks soon as i was able to get out of there and never looked back.
the Hannibal Lecter award goes to the guy that was kissin’ on me, there *looks down* and bit me, talkin’ bout broken skin a bit too close to the goodies. praise Him, I’m not permanently scarred or disfigured.
I shed a tear for your nookie just now….he should be sniped!
Okay you are lucky my conference call ended before I read this joint.. What in the where in the world is carnem sandiego He=ll is going on? HE DID WHAT? where did he get that shyt from…. Girl you should have kneed that ninja in the face and then dropped the peoples elbow on his a$$
that shyt bothered me so much it gave me dislexia.. I meant Carmen Sandiego…
lol! i used to love that game. but anyway….yeah. i was in shock for a second like, this m*therf*cker just bit me! next thing i knew i was swingin’, kickin’, hittin’ whatever part of him i could reach and promptly showed him the door. i was a bit traumatized for a while and was not trying to let nobody put their lips nowhere near that area for awhile. *smh*
Not the peoples elbow!!!!!!!!! Buah!!!! I love me some Rock…mmmmmmm….
daaaang, not the people’s elbow!!! im lovin on the rock too!
I love everything on the Rock…well except that he needs to get back up to his WWF weight. LawdAMercy!!!!
He’s a bit too skinty now.
he lookin a little svelte, but he can surely still get it! now, whether or not he want it, is another story!
yeah he want it.. I see it in his eyes.. with his fine a$$…
I second that emotion! Just thinking about it pisses me off. He was really acting like he didn’t understanding why I was kicking him out.
I don’t know. Maybe some chick out there liked it. But I don’t know who she could possibly be. “It’s b*itches like you [her] that make it hard for women like me.” *wondering what First Lady Diamond would have to say about this*
I think we know she would bite his a$$ back from her recent actions…..LMAO I mean did you at least pinch the b!tch?
*dead*
You know I got my lick in girl. quite a few actually.
I am not a woman who can have somebody chompin’ on her bits and sit still.
Well I’ve been waiting for something like this……..
The award for Most Retarded Delusionary Fool goes to this ni99a I was playing scissors with who sropped this line after I exed him
‘Once you leave the best then you might as well forget the rest cause nothing comes close’
Well homie you weren’t so great cause I can rack up more points on my own.
Well I’ve been waiting for something like this……..
“The award for Most Retarded Delusionary Fool goes to this ni99a I was playing scissors with who sropped this line after I exed him
‘Once you leave the best then you might as well forget the rest cause nothing comes close’”
i’m mad he feel the need to add “cause nothing comes close”, as if the rhyme wasn’t enough
the “Miss T Lee – Put On for Ya City/Continent” award goes to that dude i was messin with that put me off B-more cats FOR LIFE! he’s a cool cat, but um, the nekkid olympics was “special” at best…
the “Miss T Lee – Put On for Ya City/Continent” award goes to that dude i was messin with that put me off B-more cats FOR LIFE! he’s a cool cat, but um, the nekkid olympics was “special” at best…
OMG! not the special “nekkid” olympics…that poor baby… I am laughing so hard I can’t breathe…I didn’t need an inhaler before my VSB ad1ckshun!
the “Miss T Lee – Put On for Ya City/Continent” award
I love it!!
The “I will get Ms. T-lee to throat punch you” award goes to the ninja with the “so called cousin” who caused me to be maced at point blank range by the police. I still have the top I wore in a zip lock bag, that I pull out from time to time when I feel like crying and choking simultaneously.
I would like to give R. Kelly the “Pied Piper of Freaking Babies and Being Acquitted Award” because that’s what he does.
And finally I would like to give the “Best Daddy” award to my dear Daddy, because even though you can act a plum fool when you want to, you always have my back, right or wrong. If I’m a thousand miles away and give the Batman signal you will be there in the blink of an eye.
“The “I will get Ms. T-lee to throat punch you” award goes to the ninja with the “so called cousin” who caused me to be maced at point blank range by the police”
Aw dayum. I’m sorry it came to that.
The “I will get Ms. T-lee to throat punch you” award goes to the dude that was kicking game to me on Sunday morning (who I gave my number to) and when we spoke on Monday (the very next day) he apologized for not calling cause he was busy with his “girl” who was delivering his 5th child…
Same dude also gets “the I will call my police officer friends on your rumpus” (fast forward 3 weeks later) dude called me wondering why I had not called him when I came back from vacation “I know you were back cause I saw you walking to your car outside your house”
Ummm and may I ask how he knew where you lived? That good good got him hiding in bushes and stalking you?
We met while he drove down my street on the way to Dunkin Donuts (around the corner from my house) for coffee and saw me get in my car. I was waiting for a friend of mine to show up cause we were late to go somewhere, and when he came back around I was still in my car taking out the trash in the car.
The “Pop-up – I need a Green Card -Video” goes to the first of my list of foreign datees. It started out as something admirable and then there was talk of citizenship (and marriage la la la). He surprised me at my dorm a few times… So what they want women to escort males in an all-female dormitory. If there’s no security, you get a lustful male creature standing (or lurking) at your door with a smile. …America’s melting pot has plenty of crazy people seasoning. I wasn’t adding to it.
“America’s melting pot has plenty of crazy people seasoning.”
and nuts. yup. nuts.
nuts
oh crap you sunk my battle ship. So wanna get married and get me a green card I’m environmentally friendly. lol
The “Sprinkle Me Baby” Award goes to Frankie, the brotha who invited me to his apartment in the middle of July in DC, no AC and fed me 16oz cups of water before the Horizontal Tango ensued so he could follow me to me to the bathroom and get off watching me pee. He actually hoped that I’d forget he had a potty altogether…IF you know what I mean.
I never talked to Frankie no mo’!
I can’t believe I just told ya’ll that story seeing as though I just got to VSB! Jesus, keep me near Tha Cross.
oh noooo!! not that R. Kelly – Im Gonna Piss On You award!?!!?? im LMAO at that one, cuz ive gotten that request as well…um. nah, son. theres no way, im doing that and then you touch me….no way at all!
I thought he was just being nice giving me all that water since it was hotter than Hades in his apartment. Oh no, that wasn’t nice…that was his nefarious plan unfolding, and I was none the wiser.
**Taking Pretty Brown Girl under her wing***
Welcome to the dark side, we serve snacks and red kool aid on Friday. Check in with Miss Patterson for the rotation on when its your turn to bring the snacks. Whatever you do don’t steal the Champs food, he gets real ornery when he doesn’t eat. You will be provided a mentor as soon as possible until then try to stay out of the corner and enjoy yourself. Oh and watch out for Big Buck and Genius Kahn, girl they will make you swoon and throw your panties at them before you even realize you ain’t wearing em anymore, oh and so will D*Stroy, but watch out girl cause he married.
Did I miss anything?
Have fun!
Thank you Intellectual Hedonist. I will most certainly take time to review the informational booklets and literature provided.
“Sprinkle Me Baby”
::singing:
Tama, Tama.
40 water
suga suga….that’s my sista….LMAO
and I thought I had some experiences!!! LOL your body… is a porta potty…..LMAO AWWWW Naw.. I miss Dave…..
“close ya eyes, show me yo face…..im gonna pee on it”
how bout my boy has that as his ringtone for when i call him! he know das my jam!
How about the remix? Poo, poo…pee, pee
Okay, I’d give the Invisible ‘Where the hell were you’ Man Award to and ex that used to stalk me so much he’d call me at the end of the day to ask what I brought from whateva store I went in[ I brought some hair gel, and pads nigga] *Dang*
and the I Hope You Break Your E’FFIN Fingers Award to the Are You F*@kin Kidding Me brother who couldn’t take the hint that I stopped calling for a reason after the first time (no need for failed repeats), but insist on TEXTING me after 12am askin am I sleep, cause he wants to come over and rub me (WTF) btw he always seem to have his work bag with him so he can stay the night, *me thinks he;s homeless or something* Yeah n**ga I’m too sleep for you!!
please advise-am I alone in thinking that TEXTING is not a new way to mack??? Its so impersonal!
I got another one.. I know I said earlier that I was through but I lied..
the PImp C Commemorative Iodine poisoning award goes to my ex who wanted to celebrate EVERY SINGLE occasion at Red Lobster and don’t let them have the endless shrimp promotion going on that ninja would start making shyt up to go….I like a cheddar bay biscuit as much as the next girl but come on!!!
HA! That is funnier than the sophist-a-rated date that thought they were doing something taking me to the Olive Garden, was bragging and er’thing…
I go to Red Lobster and Olive Garden all the time…my youngin’s love those places! We all can certainly eat there together and I don’t have to “put somethin’ on” the phone or Pepco bills cuz we wanted a family night out!
and the Shonuff/leroy green Catching bullets with yo teef ni$$a please award goes to….All the ninja’s out there that lie about their s.e.xual prowess and fall way short (literally) in the bedroom….
The “Fun Bag Deflator” award goes to a ‘Diddy-Bugs-Bunny looking boy’….
…dang this topic is fun… I can’t stop, it’s like that sh*t be calling me (c) Pookie….
The “Fun Bag Deflator” award goes to a ‘Diddy-Bugs-Bunny looking boy’….
…dang this topic is fun… I can’t stop, it’s like that sh*t be calling me (c) Pookie….
Dayum.. you beat me to the punch with that pookie quote!!! I have been passing out awards all day.. and adding face $ass to all my sentences.. very unprofessional..
I would like to nominate TAN for the Esther Rolle award cuz damn damn damn that body! This award has been justly earned through your obvious hours of sweating it out in the gym, benching like a man on roids, and the thousands of situps to get them abs Just. So.
That dark chocolate skin has me craving diabeetus. Even if it eventually leads to limb amputation.
LMAO.. I slick got a tear in my eye from laughing at this one….
I’d have to go with the Hot Grits/Keith Sweat Award… we’d have big arguments, which always reulted in us fighting, until i’d pour a hot substance on him… and then, he’d always beg for me to take him back… or beg for me to do something… just begging…
for consistency purposes you should rename your award the Al Greene/Keith Sweat Award… just a thought
very true… so let it be done… lmao
TOTALLY ON A TANGENT~~~
y’all are behaving so well considering our wonderful moderators are both AWOL! Has anyone noticed? Neither of them has posted since early this morning.
I’m new @VSB. I won’t start showing off for at least another week or so.
yeah I seent that too. it’s aight them cats been @ it for what 20 weeks strait. They like the rest of my gubment colligues tryin to stretch it into a 4 day weekend.
SLACKERS I say! SLACKERS!
you know at VSB we don’t duck out back doors, if you leavin’ give notice
I noticed but I didnt think I had built up enough credit to call them out……LMAO
OH SHYT CHAMP’S BACK EDIT YOUR COMMENTS!! I got warrents
stop being a punk
“OH SHYT CHAMP’S BACK EDIT YOUR COMMENTS!! I got warrents”
aiight. this made me LOL for like 2 minutes straight
Am I going to have to add as an award recpient to the Give us us free award, Wu? LMAO
LOL
Give us us free award goes to
drum roll please
Word I’m gettin an award today too?! I’d like to thank my ssa for not being able to take a woopin. Which led to my getting out of taking a woopin from the parents cuz they laughed so hard @ how I reacted. Which led to my xtreme respect for athority. uuuhm **get away from the wrap it up box** Jesus I love you you my savior. Shouts to God n the Holy Ghost for puttin all this together. Mama n Pop who gave me this nickname when the Wu Tang clan was still livin they city o God fantasy. Big ups to the cousins SUNSHINE!
LOL do you have also have an unatural fear of being anally raped? Thats what keeps Tom in line on the Boondocks….
I’ve never had a serious relationship, or anything like that, but I have “chilled” a lot with a few chicks, and one of them definitely recieves the “I Can’t Read Or Write That Well, But I Know I’m Fine” Award.
I actually feel bad about putting her out there like that, but she saw nothing wrong with it. She was 19 when I was 18(this occurred last year) and I met her on one of these social networking sites. I should have known from her first message* that she probably didn’t do that well in kindergarten, but it really didn’t matter to me because she was so fine and I reeaaaaaaalllllly wanted to smash.
The fourth or fifth time we meet, we go to a Thai restaurant. The waitress brings us our menus and gives us a few minutes to decide. She comes back and I give her my order.
“I’ll have Spicy Pad See Ew with beef”-N
“I want……umm….what’s this word. N-O-O-D-L-E”
*Embarrassment flashes across my face*
…
Now I know that everyone can’t afford to blow 120k on high school tuition, but……..come on. Noodle? Really?
*The first message she sent me was:
“Wot up secc dadi? How cen i git 2 no u?”
I usually got messages like that from 14 year old boys, so I was semi-used to it, but when i saw the pic, two things popped into my mind.
“[Cot Dang], I’m about to beat her [Super Mario Bros. 3] like I haven’t [played NES] in 6 years”
and
“Whoa….is she ret*rded?
I realize you are new~but that post has CORNER written ALL OVER IT!
and in case you were wondering, this (that she probably didn’t do that well in kindergarten, but it really didn’t matter to me because she was so fine and I reeaaaaaaalllllly wanted to smash.) is where I made that determination
Dang…second post ever and I’m in the corner….
I’m not lying though. She was like Kerry Washington fine…….
““Whoa….is she ret*rded?”
this is what put it over the top
Enjoy your stay, watch out for Goodeness, she bites and shes not S-L-O-W
You should have sent her the below text and made her read it outloud in front of you:
I AM WE TODD DID
I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID
V~cause I elove you I’m going to tell you Champ is on his way and no doubt going to send you somewhere.
Oh wow.
“Now I know that everyone can’t afford to blow 120k on high school tuition, but……..come on. Noodle? Really?”
yup. definitely corner worthy
Why do you usually get messages like that from 14 year old boys?
I was wondering the same thing.
Uh yeah, can you clear that up?
Because the site was trash and “DL” dudes also used it. That’s the only explanation that made sense to me at the time.
Not Really That Cold
I nominate u for naw fcuk that i’m giving u the award for the:
Def Comedy Russel Simmons: (with the lisp) “God Bless You and Goodnight” Award.
it’s over! the show is over there is nothing left to see here on this topic. u just wrecked the frickin house. who’s gonna go on after this? Bernie Mac (god bless his soul) would not attempt to follow this. pack up, gon get ya sh*t, u aint gotta go home but you gotta get the hell outta here.
nice splash homey. you should consider writing comedy and if u can perform, go 4 it. the whole story was a steady progression of HIGH fuc*ery. building BUILDing BUILDING!
from waht i gather ur young. (or maybe it just happened when u were young) but u need to really search inside urself and see if this is a direction u’d want to go. entertainment, comedy etc. maybe we can collabo.
somebody cut the lights off. …and enjoy ur Labor Day weekend.
(cue “CHEERS” music) sometimes u wanna go, where everybody knows ur name…
Not Really
did u smash the “Short Bus Queen?”
that’s all i need to know for conflict resolution in ur story.
lemmeknow.
Thanks man. I’m looking to go into medicine though, but I guess comedy could be my side-line hustle. I’m 19 and yes, I smashed the Short Bus Queen dozens of times before I really couldn’t take it anymore. She was good at that I guess…..
shaking head and signing….”what about the children”… this whole post makes me extremely sad…
I must admit that it was definitely a bad judgement call on my part. I really do feel bad about it, but it did happen and I don’t see why I should sweep it under the rug as if it didn’t. I was more promiscious than the majority of my peers, but since then I’ve grown, matured and stuff. So please don’t be ashamed of me:(
LOL.. Okay. as long as you have matured and stuff. but I will still be praying that my daughter does not run into someone like you…..
thanks to this post she will not have any websites or phone access till she graduates from college..
if “crushspot” shows up in her browser’s history, you have the right to assume that something is going down…lol
The Robin Givens award for falsely accusing a big dude of assault with no marks to show for it goes to………….This crazy heffer I dated a few years ago. We only had sex once, and exactly 7 days later she claimed she was pregnant. I did not believe her and she cursed me out for a week solid for not caring about her and my “child”. 14 Days after the sex she called me claiming she had just gotten out of the hospital for complications with a miscarriage. And then she told everyone that she had that miscarriage because I had beaten her and kicked her several times in the stomach. Aside from the fact that the only time i had ever touched her was the one time we had sex, if I had really done something like that she would have been in the hospital for more than a miscarriage. Then after 7 more days she told me she lied about the miscarriage and was still pregnant. Needless to say I ran far far away. And no baby ever came….of course.
Where did you pick this chick up at? The zoo?
“the zoo?”
ROTFL! Wooo HOOO!
Wow. You musta threw it on her something serious.
dang where you dating old girl from Next Friday? LOL where did you find her at?
This chick should get the Charlie Brown Blockhead Award for thinking ANYBODY would be dumb enough to go for that tomfoolery! WTeff??? She sounds like some high schooler who thinks she can get over like that cuz she got a B+ in biology.
The “They Should Come with Warning Labels” award goes to…it’s a tie. The educator with a penchant for tranny porn and the muscular salesman with erectile dysfunction who beat off in his car in front of my parent’s house.
The “Men Don’t Make her crazy…she’s really crazy” award goes to an ex-friend who, after being told to not contact me sent me 10 text messages in 30 minutes! When I told her she was close to getting cussed out screamed “yaaaay” and then proceeded to tell me I was evil but ended with “have a good day.”
The “He is a great guy…just not for me” award goes to the hog riding, Mr. St. Louis now holding it down in L.A. Brotha is fyne, worldly, hella smart. But after two years, it just wasn’t there. He was a bit possessive. But some women like that!
The “Why did I sleep with a DJ” award goes to Mr. Ecuador. Fine as he!! but after 6 months of not returning his calls he still calls me.
And, finally…
The “He Takes My Breath Away” goes to Cat Daddy.
can we give her the h* sit down award?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6p-3kVlX8
I am literally seeing red….I wanted to latrell sprewell this chick
@ NOT REALLY THAT COLD…
I really wanted to keep the corner 21 & up for liquor license purposes…but the comment about the line leader o the short bus has landed you a VIP pass… ***drawing big black “X” on ur hands*** welcome and sh1t… this is where all the cool kids wait for the Devil Express…you know, down there it’s NOT REALLY THAT COLD either…
I kind of figured that I was going to take the shiny red number nine to that place of eternal damnation…but this is mild compared to some of the other stuff.
When I grow out my new facial hair, I look around 21, so it’s all good from the outside looking in.
Damn. Will there be aVIP room for people born before Thriller wad released? And by ‘VIP room’, I mean a place with comfy seating, where the music isn’t too loud, and a bunch of kids aren’t dancing hard??
hmm..I didnt know VIP was synonymous with fuddy duddy room…..LOL jk
VIP was my nice way of saying it. It didn’t make me feel so…uh…older than 25.
Darnit, what took me so long to get here. This is great.
I hate one of my ex’s with a passion and finally told him that I was dead. Instead of remembering that I was dead, he decided to call me on my birthday.
I’d like to nominate him for “The Idiot who Calls Dead People on Their Birthday” award.
Thank you.
Let me get this straight. YOU informed him that YOU were dead and then YOU answered the phone when it called on your birthday.
Is heaven a local or long distance call?
It was one of those relationships, where I was head over heels and he just wanted to give me head in my heels. He wanted to wear my bra and heels… I promise the expression on my face was priceless. So I have to nominate him for the “You’ve got to be Cfuking Kidding Me”Award.
OK ya’ll suck for having a happy hour in DC since I cant attend… but take a shot of something for me and then post a pic of your “take a shot” face since that’s the labor day challenge…lol
http://drunkenstupidlove.wordpress.com
…a few ladies and I decided to compile some of our wildest dating stories…I surely couldn’t nominate just one of those fools…
The “Surprise Your S*** Does Stink” award goes to one of my exes. He’s so doggone conceited, he thought he could do whatever he wanted and I would remain with him. He couldn’t believe I had the audacity to break up with him.
He also deserves the “You’re Not As Good as You Think You Are” award too.
It feels good giving out awards. LOL
The “Shatter my Confidence in the Do-Right Man” goes to the brother back in college that told me for months he was ok with a celibate relationship, but after the first night he slept over and really realized we really weren’t going to have sex, dumped me giving me the “its not you its me” line.