Every morning when I wake up, I brush my teeth, take a shower, get out and proceed to applying lotion (Palmer’s) in all the places on my person that could possibly be exposed to the elements. Specifically, I apply lotion on my arms, legs, face, neck, feet, hands, etc.
My girl does the exact same thing I do when she wakes up in the morning, except her Lotion Application Process is a wee-bit more involved. Hell, I just officially named it and gave it capital letters. She pulls out two different sets of lotions and basically douses herself in them making sure to cover every nook and cranny. It’s a program that takes no less than 5-10 minutes for her to complete every morning. I mean there are two different lotions, phases if you will, so it’s bound to take a while to complete.
Now, in nearly every relationship where the two partners are wont to end up in the buff at some point in the same space at the same time, the lotion observation will take place. And it usually comes from the woman reminding us that we missed a spot.
She is usually wrong. You see, much like pedicures, men tend to do what’s necessary for survival. The reason we don’t get pedicures (aside from looking like a funboy) is that largely, they’re not necessary for survival. As long as your toenails stay trimmed you’re in the clear. With lotion, similar logic applies. Plus, most of us men aren’t exactly contortionists. Sure we love watching you all bend every kind of which-a-way in order to lotion your back, but we’re not going to do that.
Back to survival for a second. Us menfolks recognize when our skin is dry. Of course you have your dudes who couldn’t care less but I guarantee you that this is a decision they’ve come to over time because in any Black household, two things were always present: lotion and Vaseline. It’s a bet that your mother probably lotioned you up to high hell at some point and vaselined you down similarly. Mothers do that.
Anyway, men wear lotion and stay hydrated because it’s patently noticeable when we’re not. And you can’t bag chicks that way. You especially can’t get a chick nude if you look like you work at Popeye’s – as a piece of battered and floured but not yet fried chicken. It’s just not a good look under any circumstances.
Women, being the soft and hopefully fluffy creatures that they are, tend to have a whole beautification regimen intended to keep their bodies feeling and smelling good. Men like this so it’s also about survival but in a different way. Sure you do it for yourself, I know, but looking and feeling good projects to other people and thereby increases your life chances. Survival of the fittest.
Plus, I guarantee there isn’t a man alive who would be okay with dating a woman who constantly looked like she woke up, took a shower, and then rolled around in baby powder for 3 minutes. Would he hit? Possibly, but you can’t keep a man that way. Do we care about if your draws and bras match? Nope. But we do care if you feel like a woman. A woman is not supposed to feel like a brillo pad. I shouldn’t be able to trace out California in your skin.
And maybe you shouldn’t in mine either, but if I’m a little ashy in places that nobody’s generally going to see during the course of a regular day – except you, my boo, of course – you won’t question my manhood. You’ll just rub my back with lotion and then I’ll rub your back. Kiss me and I’ll kiss you back.
scooby doo and the legend of the vampire online
Pour lotion on me.
And of course, if you slap then I’ll slap you back.
If you, the woman doesn’t, well, you’ll feel rough and we might send you home a little early to go think about what you did wrong.
rise of the dead movie download I keed. I keed.
Fortunately for me, my body stays plenty hydrated (and my momma is white) so perhaps my lotion needs aren’t the same as my homey D’Shankweyon or Babatunde. However, as a man, lotion is only required in places that might get exposed to air that might crack my skin.
It was written.
My good hydrationists of VSB, what say you? What side are you on?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
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{ 291 comments… read them below or add one }
I think you should lotion every part you can reach on a regular basis.
That said, I understand that, when in a hurry, you may lotion only the important parts. He!!, if I am running late, I only hit the hands, knees, elbow, feet and butt with lotion. I don’t get ashy…but I do get dry. But I make sure that this quickie application is not the norm.
Also…you put the Palmers on your face, too????
@iloVEGrits, of course I put Palmer’s on my face. up until this comment, I hadn’t the foggiest idea that i shouldn’t.
plus, what ELSE am I supposed to do. i ain’t using more than one lotion.
that’s equivalent to lotioning my back or something.
basically, if i have more than one lotion, i’m firmly into regimen category.
and gangstas don’t have lotion regimens.
@Panama Jackson,
Can’t you at least use your girlfriend’s face moisturizer? I can’t believe she lets you put Palmers on your face.
@V Renee, what can she say though…my skin is clear and i’m sexxy. i do it like i’m doing it for tv.
@Panama Jackson, I used to use palmers regularly on my face. You’re good as long as you wash it off at night to open back up those clogged pores. LOL
@El,
yea my face dont need lotion i use after shave cream tho
@El, my pores seem to be doing well. heck, i’ve been using palmer’s on my face for at least…17 years now??? lol. and nobody’s ever said, hey PJ, your skin could use some help.
except that one lady trying to sell me some sea salt at the counter in the mall. but she was like serbian or something so that didn’t count.
@Panama Jackson, LOL, not the seasalt
When I was in Kenya with my friend in December, I was constantly on lotion patrol. Both he and his cousin would have ash on their heels and ankles. How do you miss this? I’d have to order them back indoors and make them moisturize properly.
@iloVEGrits,
ashy heels and ankles disgust me. Almost to the point of being a deal-breaker…. kind of like bad breath or teeth — inevitably my eyes will be drawn to your dangerously ashy feet, and you will notice the look of disgust/horror/contempt on my face. lol
@Selah,
“you will notice the look of disgust/horror/contempt on my face.”
Them fools got the raised brow. lol.
My girl had to have a sit down with her hubby back when they were dating about moisturizing. He was using lotion that wasn’t able to penetrate his dry arse skin and going out looking ashy and whatnot.
@iloVEGrits, you know, i can understand the moisturizing convo. if you are ashy you’re asking to be lectured.
but you know what convo i don’t get? why does every woman think she needs to convince her man to exfoliate?
why?
exfoliation is a direct assasination attempt on our manhood. i have no idea why, but it just sounds uber metro.
@Panama Jackson, I have been reading the blog for a while but I have yet to comment. This posting is hilarious. My boyfriend and I always have this debate about lotion and exfoliating. It’s all about taking care of your body. Everyone has dead skin cells, even if you can’t see them. It’s ok to remove them!
@its_ty, yay for delurking!!!
@Liz, Yes, I’d like to thank sweet Baby Jesus, my momma…oh, wait. This isn’t the part for the speech, huh?
@its_ty,
That’s what baths do. If you’re not removing dead skin in the bath, upgrade to something with a rougher texture.
@its_ty,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@its_ty,
Welcome!
*missed high five, smacks self in forehead*
@its_ty, yes welcome.
and like kamakula said…ain’t that baths are for? i take a shower and wash my face and scrub extra hard every other Tuesday. shouldn’t that take care of the dead skin scrolls?
@Selah, “my eyes will be drawn to your dangerously ashy feet, and you will notice the look of disgust/horror/contempt on my face”
My last ex always had ashy feet and it would drive me crazy. He didn’t care, so I would put the lotion on his feet for him. He was always on point when it came to looking good, except for ashy feet…..
@Leila,
He just wanted you to rub on dem toes!
@THE DUTCHESS,
hell yea those rub downs done made me miss a whole lota events
@Leila, i’m confused though. like ashy feet stand out so much it would negate all the other looking-good qualities that exist to me. like if a chick was a dime until her feet, she’d automatically lose a solid 4 points. you can’t be superfine and have Feets of Flour. you just can’t.
@Panama Jackson,
hahaha ninja said “feets of flour” feet lookin 300 yrs old n shiiii
@iloVEGrits, LOL. I am trying to train my 8 year old son now!! This boy sits and lotions the front of his legs and then stops at the ankles and then he wonders why the back of his legs are all itchy, dry & peeling like paint.
@iloVEGrits,
OK so I am now known for being on the ash patrol: friends, family, children, people who’s names I don’t know. (I accidentally embarrassed a friend of a friend once by pointing out his ashy knees and tossing him some lotion outside a party– just cuz you Indian didn’t mean your mama didn’t teach you not to have grey ovals on your limbs. You dark enough to show). I always carry a small bottle of lotion with me, mostly for other people. I hate seeing ashy knuckles. Period. Feet, knees, elbows, I can sometimes forgive if it was raining or in the winter or something. Forgive if I point it out and you fix immediately. But I get offended to see people with ashy hands. period. I don’t care if you immediately lotion up and then shine them the rest of your life with shea butter, I will never forget. However, my real point, is what do you do with the menfolk who REFUSE to moisturize in any way shape or form. My older brother, and a classmate have an aversion to lotion that has to be pathological. They swear every lotion makes them feel greasy (which is somehow worse than feeling cracked and dusty) and will not lotion without a 10 minute argument. And then if you let them self apply, the pour out the smallest drip drop to fix a worldwide problem. Lotioning up one knuckle when they look like they been diggin in a chimney to their elbows. What to do?? seriously, any suggestions.
@willnotbetelevised,
yea back in tha day moms used ta be hard core about ash all like hell naw yall will not be embarassin me she wasa pro i recognize that now
@willnotbetelevised,
LMFAO Sounds like you got a V for Vendetta against ash!
@willnotbetelevised, you should film one of those informercials about kids needing your help and waht a dollar a day will do.
except you film ashy kids and show them what a dallop of lotion will do.
and run the Notorious B.I.G. saying , “i went from ashy to classy” on a loop in the background.
and THEN get a Biggie impersonator to say “…with Palmer’s Cocoa Butter lotion.”
instant streed cred.
What blatherskite. I use family dollar baby lotion most of the time unless its pay day and feel up to buying the real version of baby lotion. It takes me all of 2 minutes tops to slather up. For the life of me I cannot fathom it taking any longer….unless your a 300 pound woman or man…then I can see it taking longer.
My skin is soft. Never greasy. I smell like a person not a bottle of lotion and my lotion lasts longer than 2 days.
and thats that….cheers
@buboniccalypso,
“all of 2 minutes tops”
yeah a full body application shouldn’t take much longer. unless of course you are massaging yourself.
@iloVEGrits, or “massaging” yourself.
lol.
@iloVEGrits, I think any lotioning over 4-5 minutes should be labeled as “ME TIME”.
@iloVEGrits,
@iloVEGrits, the only time im massaging lotion onto myself is when I am applying Sunblock lotion…skin cancer isn’t sexy..I will spend a good 10 minutes lathering that in…but thats about it….and thats all about being practical and safe.
Now if someone else wants to massage lotion onto this body (a sexy tall lite skinned man for example)…then thats another story.
@buboniccalypso, you know, i once tried some Dollar Store cheapo lotion. i felt dirty all day long. skin felt all heavy, like i was carrying around a car filled with the fatboys.
also, i once bought dollar store air freshner. such a bad look. it didn’t mask anything. just sat in the air WITH the foul stench. had the bathroom smelling like sh*t AND air freshner.
i guess my main point is that me and the dollar store’s don’t mix.
@Panama Jackson, Im not vouching for Dollar Store lotion…just Family Dollar Baby Lotion…it works..for me. I have tried dollar store brands in college during my jobless…living off a refund check for a whole semester days…and it does suck…I don’t recommend it.
In any regards all lotion contains some form of alcohol so unless you’re willing to splurge and buy some straight Body Butter or Coco Butter from your local African Store out of the barrel….I wouldn’t vouch for it either.
I do completely endorse the pure coco Butter from the barrel…for those of you that live in Pittsburgh and cant eff with the family dollar knock off Jergins Baby Lotion…. Jamil’s on Penn Ave in East Liberty sells the Coco Butter.
Cheers.
oh and the whole body butter thing…ive found some at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx on sell from the Body Shop and other lotion-body spray-soap frenzy like shops and many do not contain alcohol but Im NOT recommending those to you mofo’s y’all the type to go through a whole tin within 2 days with all this massaging and lathering of body parts….hott mess. Never seen or heard of such ash that would warrent such a thorough lotioning of body parts : /
Gotta stay moisturized!! I learned that if you put on some olive oil while you’re fresh up out the shower and still damp then your body will be super soft and stuff….. and i’ve
learnedheard that the mens like that lol@Selah,
Yes, gotta stay moisturized. The key to soft skin is also exfoliation. You can slather on all kinds of creams but it can only do so much if you’ve got dead skin. A body scrub every now and then is a good thing!
@iloVEGrits,
preach that word!!! teach the masses!!!!
@iloVEGrits, yes ma’am!! body scrubs and Ped eggs…. they should be staples in the “get ya body right” routine
@Selah,
I use a pumice stone instead of the Ped egg. lol. But I had someone call me high maintenance cuz I told her I pumice my feet in the shower. I was like “you mean the only time you do it is when you get a pedicure?” lol. By being consistent and maintaining at home, you won’t have any ‘feet emergencies’ if you are called to wear an open shoe. lol.
@iloVEGrits,
“By being consistent and maintaining at home, you won’t have any ‘feet emergencies’ ”
I swea’ fo jesus you sound like me! Now if only I can get my mom to listen. LOL
@iloVEGrits,
I believe a pumice stone is essential in every shower. There is something about dead skin on feet that blows. specially when this here stone is $3!
@THE DUTCHESS,
how yall do that in the shower yall hella flexible or got balance like a ninja
@iloVEGrits, can you imagine your man telling you that he’s going home to do a “body scrub”??
i’d clown my homeboy to the nth degree, but i can’t imagine a dude telling his newly minted girlfriend that, “yeah, sorry, we can’t do it tonight. thursdays are the days i exfoliate so that i can be right for you on Friday.
by the way, can i borrow that peachy peach mango scented lotion you got right there?“@Panama Jackson, you can still be a “Man” and exfoliate. What you do in the shower is no one’s business. If your momma showed you how to use the pumice stone and that is what you do, then so be it. If you come a cross a female that finds your caring about your body as “unmanly” then Puck her. I appreciate it when a man’s feet doesn’t feel like industrial strength sand paper.
like my e-twin (overit) my skin is mad “siddity”. i cannot go without or be using any ol type of lotion–that would just be outta order and i’d break out, dry out or be diddy’d out (read: look greasy as hell). i appreciate the important protective organ that is my skin, so i like it to be smooth, hydrated and smelling fresh. like VEG i promote skin moisturization at all times. “uhhhh skin cream anyone??”
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
“my skin is mad “siddity””
Ditto. My skin and hair are picky as all get out.
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
Lotioning is fun. I don’t know how men manage to turn it into a chore.
@Me fail english?, on the scale of things that i consider “fun”, putting lotion on has to be at or near the bottom. mostly b/c who thinks of putting on lotion when they’re thinking of fun things to do?
not I!
@Panama Jackson,
lotioning can be fun. especially when you have some one to lotion you up.
my ex used to only lotion the “parts that show”. i refused to let him rub up against me his dry skin (is ash contagious??) so i lotion’d the parts that didn’t show. we def had FUN getting ready in the mornings.
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
“ill be late for thattttttttttttttttt” lololol
@BLUNTBLAZER, good one.
@Panama Jackson,
Meh. I just like having an excuse to feel on myself. I’m a 12 year old boy. I keep lotion in every bag so even if I forget to transfer my wallet when I change purses, I’ll never forget the lotion. I have some in my car, the desk at work, the bathroom, the bedroom…
@Me fail english?, “I’m a 12 year old boy” would definitely make for an interesting t-shirt.
as long as michael jackson ain’t wearing it.
@Panama Jackson, Damn, you went there.
@Panama Jackson,
wow. what are the odds you said this TODAY of all days…
i aint know!!!!! i ain’t know!!!!!!
Touchy subject…literally.
Personally, I don’t use lotion every time I hop out the shower. I may take a shower in the morning or at night so it kinda depends. Full disclosure: I mix a lil’ bit of baby oil in my lotion (No Metro) to add an extra glow to my skin in the morn. However, hopping out the shower at night, I’m not doing that…don’t need the oils and shyt on the sheets unless it’s intended.
With that said, it’s more like a day-to-day thing for me. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t…it just depends. Maybe I hit just arms and hands, other times not even that. If I’m seeing my gal and the potential of getting naked is high, then of course, I’m not tryin’ to cut her with dry ass toes.
I do keep a little thing of lotion and hand sanitizer in the car and I think all should.
@Monk,
a lot of my girl friends mix baby oil with their lotion. my skin is sensitive so i’m actually afraid to try. a “glow” on you would easily look greasy on me. i just stick to lotions that don’t require a chemistry degree (which i actually possess), a protocol and multiple reagents to keep my skin’s sexy preserved.
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,i’d put money on the fact that this is the only sentence in the English language to use protocol, reagents, and sexy in the same sentence.
@Panama Jackson,
it’s a gift
@Monk,
“With that said, it’s more like a day-to-day thing for me. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t…it just depends. Maybe I hit just arms and hands, other times not even that.”
—————————————
You know what? I take back what I said below about a man needing to lotion everyday like clockwork. As long as he knows how and when to keep ash marks at bay. This here will suffice.
@charli skipper,
yea jus make sure the knucks aint silverish
@Monk,
“I mix a lil’ bit of baby oil in my lotion (No Metro) to add an extra glow to my skin in the morn”
This is a good look.
@miss t-lee, see i would NEVER ever even think to do that.
and the only reason i ever started using Palmer’s was b/c my mom had some, i put it on, and all the chicks at school (this is like 8th grade) wanted to take a bite of me talking about, “you smell like vanilla”.
yeah, i
dodid it for the ladies.@Panama Jackson,
Yeah…it’s like killing two birds with one stone.
And stop using that Palmer’s on your face…that ish is too heavy for facial use. It does smell good though!
@miss t-lee, I agree. Get some facial lotion that is at least SPF 15 as well.
@miss t-lee,
You’re right about not using Palmer’s on the face. It’s best to use on the body, I use it sometimes instead of Vaseline.
@pinksghetti, y’all keep missing the point. if i start using more than one skin care “thing” then i’m effectively becoming a woman.
that is not a good look. so it’s either Palmer’s or nothing.
@Monk, glow though…….
moisturizing is key – south africa is particularly dry (unless you’re in humid kwa zulu natal) so if you and lotion aren’t friends… it shows. not flattering. at all.
my moisturizing kit consists of:
l. body lotion
2. moisturizer (for face)
3. hand and nail cream (applied liberally thru-out the day, after washing hands)
this basic everyday regime is supported by bi/weekly:
1. face gel to give sin an extra moisturizing blast
2. pedicures to ensure that the mootsie’s are smooth and supple
3. loofah or exfloliating scrub to make sure the body is the same.
one little habit that’s sooo particular to black people here is mixing body oils, moisturizers – so you’ll have your lotion and basic lotion, and mix it up with some glycerine to give it a bit more grease (sometimes the lotion doesn’t cut it)
a friend travelled to india and got me a jar of lovely coconut oil – so now i mix that with aqueous cream or vaseline and slather on…
i could go on about my hair moisturizing regime, but i believe todays brief is about skin… so i’ll conclude here…
@superwoman,
coconut oil is a miracle oil. Great for the hair, is a natural exfoliant. Sigh.
@superwoman,
i think it’s key to separate body lotion from face moisturizer. def don’t put regular lotion on your face!!! my pores would stage a coup against me!!
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
“my pores would stage a coup against me!!”
I KNOW! That’s why I had to ask PJ if he put the Palmers on his face, too.
@iloVEGrits,
yes girl that mess is thick! just causing all kinds of clogs and backups.
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay,
I can’t even put Palmers on my body, it’s so greasy. lol. I am getting a pimple just thinking about putting it on my face.
@iloVEGrits, thing is, for all intents and purposes, my face is very clear and doesn’t feel in the least bit clogged up or anything (or at least what i’d presume clogged up to feel like).
i rarely have face issues. i got good face, that whole 3 thing notwithstanding.
Yeah, I figured you probably just have clear skin. I have a friend with super clear skin, who washes her face with DIAL SOAP.
Which would send my poor face into a mutiny.
@8th Wonder, i got it from my momma.
@superwoman,
dang, i didn’t realise things were so dry down south. in nigeria (at least in lagos) most mofos can get away without lotion – i’m pretty certain my dad hasn’t been lotioned since the age of 5 and he’s never ashy – but i stays silky smooth always
and coconut oil is really that good??? i need to get on that.
@superwoman,
I am happy not to be the only one with crazy moisturizing regimens… Lol!
I’on know about y’all, but my skin is über sensitive, but has dry-like tendencies, so I’m a fan of the two Johnson’s . That oatmeal baby lotion is the ish, and when I’m extra dry, I like the Baby Oil Gel- works wonders in the winter!
…by the way, is it just me, or does the lavender stuff make you sleepy too? I know it does for babies, but why is my skin receptive to it?!?
@Beez, “…by the way, is it just me, or does the lavender stuff make you sleepy too? I know it does for babies, but why is my skin receptive to it?!?”
I’m always sleepy so I couldn’t tell the difference but that stuff smells so dang’on good.
@Beez, this is how much of a dude i’ve been in my life. for the longest time i couldn’t understand how lavender could be both a color and a scent.
hell, i didn’t even know what scent lavender was until i accidentally bought some lavender dish washing detergent. i was like, oh, this is lavender.
smells like teen spirit.
@Panama Jackson,
dude I only recognize 10 colors and i thought lavender was lite purple but chicks dont believe me
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Its both. Those chicks need to go back to school.
@Panama Jackson, lmao @ “smells like teen spirit.”
that was my 1st deodorant the one with the green top
@Satya,
Me too! I liked the purple one! I did recently see it in the stores, and when I sniffed one, it did not remind me of fond memories of years past. In fact, it smelled like stale candy.
Oh yeah, Eucerin for the neck, since I gots the eczema, and everything literally breaks it off.
Working on the whole regularly moisturizing my face thing, since I’m nearing the mid 20′s and can’t expect for the youthful glow to stay, though I still look 18.
@Beez,
“can’t expect for the youthful glow to stay”
Fight wrinkles before they start. But be careful, a heavy cream will make your face sag. lol. Use something light, oil free and protect your face from the sun.
That is all.
@iloVEGrits,
Thanks! *stuffs that away for future reference*
@Beez,
Eczema runs in my family. Have you ever tried this stuff called “Lac-Hydrin” White bottle, green label. It’s like $13 but works very well. It can make scales feel like rose petals. Also, Aquaphor (a more hydrated vaseline type substance) works well over night. Do you use a humidifier in your room at night?
@Me fail english?,
I hadn’t heard of either of those… and I’m working on the humidifier thing. I’m a light sleeper, and sometimes that mofo annoys me.
@Beez, i was introduced to Eucerin due to my daughter. man that stuff works miracles. dried skin better watch its back when Eucerin is around!
that was so corny.
@Panama Jackson,
Admitting it is the first step.
@Panama Jackson,
It just may be a commercial pitch one day. Kind of reminds me of the bugs that shout RAAAAIIIDDD?!?!?!? before they check into that roach motel in the sky.
@Beez, do you ever wonder if they tried to make those commercials with real roaches and somebody just yelling “RAAAAAAAAAAAAID” as voiceovers, except PETA caught wind and threatened to throw paint on the Raid factory so they just drew some cartoons?
i wonder this on occasion.
@Beez, I haveeczema too and I found Aveen with the oatmeal is the business for the cold\cool months and I can use any lotion during the Summer as my skin gets oily. And Aveeno moisturizer with SPF 15 for winter… still looking for a good moisturizer for Summer
@Satya, Cosign on Aveeno products if you have eczema. Mine used to be extreme as a child and Aveeno was the only thing that didn’t irritate and actually calmed the inflammation. I haven’t had a flare-up in years but still use Aveeno religiously.
And yes, men, it is important to use a facial lotion as well as facial cleanser (Dial soap and Vaseline on the face? Yikes!!). And while you’re at it, you might want to go ahead and use a separate towel to wash your face vs. using the same towel you use to wash your ass and other body parts… Think about it…
@MissJ82,
“And yes, men, it is important to use a facial lotion as well as facial cleanser …. you might want to go ahead and use a separate towel to wash your face vs. using the same towel you use to wash your ass and other body parts… Think about it…
”
Reminds me of an old Clearasil (or somebody) commercial where 2 guys would discuss soap, and nonchalant dude is all “you have soap for your face?” and good guy is all “you wash your face with the same stuff you wash your armpits with?”
I say get what people see and get what feels uncomfortably dry. Whether it’s your crotch, chest, underarms, even your damn crack or your junk…if you ain’t tryna feel that agonizing friction, lotion that beast before you dip up.
Also, ain’t nann wrong with keeping a little travel bottle slightly larger than a ChapStick handy somewhere: in the whip, in the briefcase/backpack/satchel, or in ya pocket! Comes thru in the clutch after hand washing.
BTW, everybody male or female needs to get their hands, ashy or not. Shaking or holding some rough *ss hands is just wild as hell.
And why does son in the pic look like Taz from Sa-Ra?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, he does look like Taz doesn’t he?
guess he got that lightskint boho big hair thing on lock.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
2 things to always have on your person: little lotion, chapstick! educate the people
I must say…topics like these get females open like when guys talk football. Going to the beauty supply joint or those counters at the department store must be like pr0n to them.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Going to the beauty supply joint or those counters at the department store must be like pr0n to them”
lolol. For some, it is. But I had to learn the hard way that a lot of stuff doesn’t work for me. So I grab what I know and dip out.
@iloVEGrits, girl me too… I am XXXXTRA sensitive… so the soaps and lotions that touch my body are the few, the proud!! LOL
@iloVEGrits, Me too… if you are not using the right stuff, eczema can make you look like you’re about to crack.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Going to the beauty supply joint or those counters at the department store must be like pr0n to them.”
No.
We don’t believe you, you need more people.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
It’s not quite like pron. Close, but not quite.
That’s alls I’m saying.
Thank you and good night.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, I will mildly agree that a certain euphoria comes over me at Sephora.
@Kindred Smile,
Cosign!
um….everybody needs lotion! i don’t have a problem with a man’s lotion process not being as involved as mine. in fact, that might make my wonder. but any man i have custody of–no matter what shade of the spectrum–must accept the lesson that lotion usage is not seasonal or optional.
i remember the “lotion observation” i got from my last boyfriend. actually, i was kinda offended when he just busted out wit some, “why you use so much lotion!?! hurry up!”
um…….face lotion, coconut oil, foot lotion, and throw in a little Dove anti-aging body lotion for the girls on the side: it’s a process, boo.
@charli skipper,
lmao @ “but any man i have custody of”
@charli skipper,
Word! Even if you don’t get ashy, if I can distinguish one skin cell from the other, or you even get “tight” its time to slather up and relax.
@charli skipper, you know, i have to wonder if either women are over doing it men are just painstakingly underdoing it…ashiness aside.
like are men and women’s bodies THAT different, when exposed to the exact same elements that their skin needs are different?
like whycome i can use 1 lotion (that i’m apparently misusing on my face) and my girl uses 3 (found out about another one this morning) and we end up at the same result.
i know different people are different, but is all the lotion stuff necessary? or do you all just feel better with it?
@Panama Jackson,
are you saying you and your girl are simply both ash-free or are your hands as baby soft as hers?
Honestly, I appreciate smoothness in a man but if he is as soft/softer skin than I, I’m putting him outside in the elements to toughen up. I feel if you are a man with baby soft hands, you aint done a day of real work in your life. How you gonna change a tire or mow the lawn in them delicate gloves?
@willnotbetelevised,
thas wha im sayin even if you use lotion in the mornin afta workin a whole day+ washin ya hands 9-10 times a day ya hands aint gone be shiny and ill be damned if ima lotion up 5-6 times a day fuq it catch me in the mornin thas when i be shinin
@willnotbetelevised, well we’re both ashfree but hers is due to her insane regimen, but i wonder if she NEEDS to do all that in the first place or maybe i’m just blessed with hydrationalized skin or something.
and no my hands aren’t baby soft. i used to slap trees. my hands are gangsta.
when i was younger, though, i thought you only put lotion on the parts that showed. putting lotion on your stomach and behind? i didn’t know you could do that! (when i was a child, [read: teenaged] i thought as a child) so i would just feel shame (even though i was perfectly alone) when i undressed and you could see the demarcation line between my glowing, exposed-all-day skin and my flaky, paper white, ashy hidden skin.
the first time i saw my college bff lift her shirt and tug her pants down to lotion those areas before we headed to class, i had my lightbulb moment! haven’t looked back since. lol
@charli skipper,
and don’t try to act like i’m the only dumba*s one that didn’t realize to just put lotion there on my own….my momma never taught me that part. i followed all the rules, damnit!
@charli skipper,
“the demarcation line ”
This is why I lotion my butt and the area just underneath so religiously. A dark booty, which I believe is caused by friction, is not the business.
@iloVEGrits, LMAO not booty dark. Maybe that’s what Champ was talking about when he said that light-skinned women have grayish private parts. (No, I haven’t forgotten.) He was prolly just chexin ashy catfish
@Kindred Smile,
*snickering*
I ain’t forgot that ish either…I’m still slightly disturbed.
@charli skipper, i didn’t know you could do that! (when i was a child, [read: teenaged] i thought as a child) so i would just feel shame (even though i was perfectly alone) when i undressed and you could see the demarcation line between my glowing, exposed-all-day skin and my flaky, paper white, ashy hidden skin.
i feel like i know so much about you right now its scary.
@Panama Jackson,
lol
I’m sorry
i cant believe that you wrote a post this long about applying lotion….
I dont know whether to be disgusted or impressed…..
imma go with disgustingly impressed…LOL
but imma still put my two cents in!
lotion it should def be applied to all visible skin… but I dont apply all over either.. I use a little bit of that neutrogena sesame oil at the end of my bath/shower all over, pat dry…. and then lotion the spots…giving extra concentration to hands and feet…voila!
@shay_d_lady, I love their sesame oil.
@shay_d_lady,
that sesame oil is the business!!! i need to restock. my skin totally quit me when i moved to chicago though. suave does not work above the mason dixon line. especially in the winter. it’s so damn dry up here. aveeno is also my close personal friend.
@SouthernGirl,
Suave?
Oh no…that ish is like 99.5% water. It doesn’t even feel like I put anything on, and I’m back ashy in half an hour…lol
@miss t-lee,
lol. back home in new orleans it worked fine. maybe because it’s so humid? you def don’t need anything heavy down there. me no know.
all i know is i got up to chicago and was looking like i stopped in somebody’s kitchen and dipped my elbows in their flour.
@SouthernGirl,
You might be right.
@shay_d_lady, disgustingly impressed huh…
well i’m not sure whether to be offended or appreciative.
how about i’ll just go with sexxy.
@Panama Jackson, well i’m not sure whether to be offended or appreciative.
how about i’ll just go with sexxy.
LOL…. aight….
@shay_d_lady, I STAN for neutrogena sesame oil. I put a few drops in a warm bath, and when I get out, smooth, no lotion required.
@shay_d_lady,
ima hafta try this sesame oil stuff. sounds silky!!
@Gem…BeThatAsItMay, ima hafta try this sesame oil stuff. sounds silky!!
Girl get you some immediately!!! its like a light weight baby oil.. it makes your skin soft without making it shiny as hell…
I have to buy it and hide it because my husband in all his 6″3 225 glory has decided to jump on the moisture bandwagon and be using all my good stuff!
@shay_d_lady, sidenote, the best nicknames from the 70s all have the name Silky in them.
just call me Silky Jackson, or Alabama Silk E.or Silky P.
just don’t call me Sheen.
Good soap is essential to smmmmmoooth skin! O-K-A-Y!
@THE DUTCHESS, Exactly. DOVE is thee bizness.
@Nicki Sunshine,
IRISH SPRING lol
@THE DUTCHESS, T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U.
spelling is our friend.
*ding*
@THE DUTCHESS, O-K-A-Y!
make the trap say AYE!
sorry… I couldnt resist
wait, wait!!! how could i forget to add my congratulations to you guys on the AMAAAAAAAAAZING performance your team put up last night – THEY DEFEATED THE SPANIARDS!!!!!! THE SPANIARDS!!!!!!!!! TWO-NIL!!!!!!! amen!!! heeeeey, CLEARLY this is the year for the underdog, it’s unbelievable!!!! no one would ever have thought that an american team could beat the mighty spaniads at football! but look!!!! just look!!!!! here we are! my heart is still aflutter when i think about it….
and now the spaniards, world champs, are going home coz they’re knocked out of the tournament! and everyone thought it was either the italians, the brazilians or the spaniards who’d take the trophy – and the only ones left are the brazilians!!!!
tonight south africa plays the brazilians…. o dear. they are going to slaughter us… it’s gonna be a massacre, that phenomenon known as kaka is a demon on the field…. ah well, we put up a good fight. mandela blessed our boys yesterday, and wished them the best…. the rest is up to god. let us pray, brothers and sisters….. amen.
@superwoman, i get this excited about post-it notes.
everything else is just blah.
@Panama Jackson, i get this excited about post-it notes. I hope only the accordian style joints….LOL
@shay_d_lady,
I need my NFL
@Panama Jackson, madness.
we’re in the second half, and south africa and brazil are still drawn – zero all. unbelievable. almost as good as a victory…autious ‘woo hoo!’
good night.
My lady is boho as h3ll so I’ve always got some new experimental lotion or lotion products to use. It’s usually in some odd container, some odd color, or some odd consistency. Right now, Coconut Oil….like organic/raw/untreated/whatever you want to call it, Coconut Oil is the bidness. Hair and body, same oil. Works pretty well. Damp, right after the shower.
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
This is Lebron’s last shot at a title in Cleveland. If he doesn’t win next year he will be playing for the Brooklyn Nets.
@Humble_One,
Everyone keeps saying that, I don’t see him leaving Cleveland to start all over again.
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq, its not really starting over again if he ends up on a team with the proper talent around him.
he got everything he could get out of that team he had this year. everything. without lebron james, that’s a lottery team.
perspective: there’s no way in hell or on any other team that mo williams could end up being an all star. lebron made him better than he is and convinced him to overachieve.
when you’re 2nd best player’s name is Mo, there’s trouble in paradise.
@Panama Jackson,
exactly…talent. There isn’t a team in NY or NJ with enough talent to make that move worth anything. I think he’s brought the Cavs too far in terms of notoriety, playoffs, heck, he’s uplifted the city. I can’t see him just bouncing on what could be one of the illest legacies in sports. Yes, it’s early. But lets say he stays in Cleveland and wins a couple rings…that would be incredible.
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
Can shaq handle Dwight tho
He was talkin hella salty to dwight
didnt shaq get sweeped by The dream in his first finals? he need to check himself dude 37 now Lebron needs a scottie pippen like side kick
Golden State Warriors baby
I think you should lotion every part of your body (men too)… dry skin itches. One of the quickest things for a woman to do is apply baby oil gel while in the shower and pat dry once she gets out.
Warn your men that the bathtub might be slippery- one of my girls almost killed her man by not. lol.
But like most men, mine never lotions his back (someone told me to beware of a man who’s back is moisturized- hinting that another man applied it.- HOGWASH!). Whenever he’s with me, I lotion his back and play it off as a massage. lol.
@Nicki Sunshine,
There are men that moisturize their back?
@Humble_One, LMAO. I’ve never seen one. I do moisturize my man’s back when I’m with him. Just because.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I think they likey when we do that for ‘em too.
@Cheekie, It makes massages so much easier when they are moisturized.
@Cheekie,
hell yea im gettin one on friday my girl loves my back/shoulders/neck/arms and it feels so good afta you lift weights. Baby oil for the back is great.
@Humble_One, right, i don’t even think about that. i can’t see it. it doesnt exist for moisturizing purposes.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I use the Oil of Olay “in-shower” lotion and it works like a dream. In the summertime I don’t even do my dry lotion routine cause Im so soft.
@Me fail english?, Girl, I absolutely cannot stand you for this!!! My skin is so sensitive that when I use any products but Dove in the shower, I get rashed up something gross on my neck and arms. Eevn the baby oil breaks me out. so just have to lotion those parts!
@Me fail english?,
i’m a huge fan of olay body wash. ima hafta try this in-shower lotion too!!!
*writing on shopping list*
@Me fail english?,
my moms got oil of olay erythang i mean she should buy stock in tha shiiii i mean she got erythang they made/make/shiii that aint even came out yet
Lotion and deoderant are a must all year round. I actually wear 4 different lotions. One for my body (palmers), one for my feet (baby oil gel), one for my face (Johnson and Johnson moisturizer) and lasty perfume lotion for my hands. So, yes, lotion is a must for men and women. I do think men can get away with only using it on ther arms, legs, a$$, feet and hands only.
@El, i kind of wonder how you end up getting to 4 different lotions. were they added gradually over time. like one day you realized your feet weren’t getting the proper glisten they deserved so you tried an additional lotion?
walk me thru the Lotion Addition Process.
@Panama Jackson, LOL. Well, if you really want know, then I’ll tell you. It all started on a hot a$$ day in Tallahassee Florida when my face started breaking out. I am extremely vain and called my mother immediately (after the 5 bumps were there for a week) and demanded I come home for a dermatology appointment. At the time, I only used Palmers for all body parts. I got stuck on Palmers after a fight in the 7th grade when I had to be called scar face for about 3 months.
Anyway, back to the subject, I ran home (ATL) to see a dermatologist. He informed me that I should use nothing but a mild soap on my face and a light moisturizer: NEVER LOTION. He also told me each part of the body requires different moisture levels… LOL, so my lotion count went to 2 in1997; Palmers and moisturizer.
Then in 1999, I started noticing my feet were hard from wearing cute shoes and boots while regularly walking up the 7 hills on FAMU’s campus so I started using Vaseline to maintain the moisture and prevent the smell from lotion and sweat. In 2003, when I started dating this guy (present bf), his body used to glow in the candlelight but he wasn’t greasy. I was AMAZED. That is when I discovered the baby oil gel! PURE GENIOUS (located on the baby aisle at all grocery stores!) I mean It acted like Vaseline and baby oil. Not too thick and not to oily, It was just right for my feet! *** grinning*** so now my lotion count was up to 3.
Finally, I don’t like to wearing perfume everyday but I do like the scent so I started using perfume hand lotion in 2004. So there you have it…. NOW YOU KNOW! I use four lotions daily. Feet, hands, body and face. I wish a n(gga would say something smart!
@El,
Something smart.
. That’s the best I can do.
I do agree that baby oil gel goes hard, though.
@Beez, whatever. LOL!
@El, well, thank you. i’ve just been educated.
@El,
lotion on the a$$ i cant see myself doin that lol jus thinkin bout it makes me think of a ashy larry episode lol
@BLUNTBLAZER, LOL, I am scared to ask… you gotta put lotion on your butt. I would hate for you to have a dry behind and be out in public scratching it all the time *side eye*
@El,
yall must have some dry a$$ skin i neva had that problem lol skin so ashy it itches? really that happens
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Yes it happens. lol
@miss t-lee, Thanks for backing me up, he had me thinking I was crazy.
@BLUNTBLAZER, uh yes.
@El, yeah, i don’t lotion my butt and i aint out there itchin’ up a storm
might not be ash that’s causin’ the itchies.
@Panama Jackson, shut up PJ… you made me go there!
Ladies (& Gents if you care..) my new love of the summer:
PALMER’S COCOA BUTTER FORMULA Moisturizing Gel Oil SPF 15 :
I kill like 5 birds with this sucka
1. It’s Palmers Cocoa Butter, the national lotion of ninjas everywhere
2. It’s an oil, so I get that shiny leg look and it spreads well
3. It’s a gel so I won’t spill it all over my bathroom floor and possibly bust my tail
4. It has SPF 15 so I don’t have to apply a second sunscreen
5. Still has the cocoa butter smell (yet a little lighter) that I love…
I shower, apply, air dry a bit, lightly towel off and I’m done!
@Numbah 5, this is what I use on my body now, with the exception of my chest and back which need something not as greasy. Stop giving away lotion secrets. lol
@The Queen,
..but see, I must shout it from the rooftops cause I love it so…this is from a broad that HATES to lotion up…anything that saves some steps is a keeper!
@Numbah 5,
I have some of this…it goes hard!!!
@miss t-lee,
neva heard the phrase “it goes hard” used to describe lotion interesting
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Sue me…I’m from Texas.
I use that phrase to describe every thing that is right and good about the world.
If I told you my moisturization regimen I’d have to kill you.
Seriously…it’s been documented that I have a lotion addiction and I’m obsessed with being soft. It’s that dayum serious.
I’ve spoken about it here before on VSB. (things I stan for).
I’ve got no less than about 20 bottles under the sink of various lotions, oils, creams/cremes, body butters (shea, cocoa, etc.)
You can call me many things, but you can’t call me ashy…lol
I appreciate a man who does the bare minimum though. Long as your elbows and feet aren’t crusty we’re good.
@miss t-lee,
I think you’re continuously building up a Stan-Like following by posting the things you do.
That is all.
@Dante_Alexander,
Say word?
*blushing*
@miss t-lee,
u know what you doin….
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
*coy smile*
I don’t know what you’re talking about sir.
@miss t-lee,
I will neither confirm nor deny that Dante Alexander is a Miss T Lee Stan. I cannot in good conscience give that sort of assessment based upon the facts as they’ve been presented of me, and be mindful that my comments are in no way, shape or form representative of Dante Alexander at all.
See you at the barbecue.
hmmm.
@Dante_Alexander,
This was a fantastic disclaimer.
@miss t-lee,
“you got to love the CRUST of a muh’funka” shout out to Chris Rock.
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
Now I gotta find this on youtube so I can laugh real quick…lmao
@miss t-lee,
“I appreciate a man who does the bare minimum though. Long as your elbows and feet aren’t crusty we’re good.”
Elbows need extra TLC, most definitely. My cousin loves some soft elbows (probably because his are crust factories)…he always goes around feeling all the girls elbows like, “Gimme some elbow love”…and he’s one of those that sucks on his fingers and has to always rub on something simultaneously. Hella annoying.
@Cheekie,
“he always goes around feeling all the girls elbows”
Oh ish!!!
My older brother does that …lol
@miss t-lee,
LMAO…I’m glad the dysfunctionality is at least spread around a lil’ bit. I was prayin’ I wasn’t the only one who had someone like this in their fam.
@Cheekie,
hahaha
@Cheekie,
The visual I got from this was hilarious
When my ex moved in with me I was shocked at the lengths she went through with lotion. When she puts lotion on she puts it every where the sun shines and doesn’t shine. It’s basically a moisturizing ritual. The only time my skin is dry is during winter. I started to carry hand lotion around because soaps in bathrooms will dry your skin.
Having recently shaved my head bald…Ive come to appreciate not having a dry, ashy head.
Anyway, growing up I used to protest lotion hard..until like 8th grade when I realized that the females liked the scent of Johnson & Johnsons Baby lotion…those times have passed and Ive moved on to better lotions, but Im still picky. I HATE think lotions that feel like they leave a film on your body…come to think of it, I dont even know what brand I use, I just know what it looks like in the store when I buy it.
Eh well.
I do try to cover my whole body (middle of the back excluded) unless there’s a young woman around at the time who can handle that for me.
@Mr. Mister, i have a bald head too and i still just use the palmers for it. i also have naturally oily skin so even if i didn’t put lotin on, my head would be shining like the top of the chrysler building (bigups to LOA).
@Panama Jackson,
jus cut my hair to pops my colla to all the fellow bald heads
@Mr. Mister,
“Having recently shaved my head bald…Ive come to appreciate not having a dry, ashy head.”
Good for you. You don’t wanna look like a eraser on a brand new number 2 pencil. You know with that chalky white stuff at the top before you use the eraser? Ew.
@Mr. Mister,
Ug I hate the smell of baby lotion or baby oil. I hate J&J for the fact I smell it on grown people. Mebbe cuz I swear it smells different on grown follk than it does on babies. Still please don’t sit near me on public transportation if thats yo’biz. I’ll let you know my routes and everything.
But I’m mad sensitive to smells anyway. Lavender gives me an instant headache. I have to watch getting lotion from friends who insist on the scented lotions. I’ll lotion my hands after washing them and then wonder I why I have this killer headache an hour later.
@willnotbetelevised,
smell this fart real quick then wit ya sensitive a$$$ bwhahahaha
ahahahhahahahha why you gotta call out babatunde though? nigerians STAY moisturised. though not all of them stay deodorised…
i say everyone should stay fully lotioned up at all times, but i don’t a dude using my body shop mango body butter. only one of us can smell fruity in the bed (and if you smell flowery, you’ll be sleeping on the pavement.) embrace that palmer’s cocoa butter. things are always more fun when people are moisturised… kinda like a slip-and-slide.
@puff, when i was in college, i accidentally grabbed some of my sister’s conditioner and walked around all day smelling like a damn arboretum.
i felt so gay. NTTAWWT.
*Picks up Mic while fighting off security*
SHEA BUTTER, BAMAZ!!! Nuff Said! Moisturize!
*Runs of stage*
BTW…women with ashy feet, no matter how cute they are automatically get reduced to 3′s. I went on a date one time with a woman with ashy feet. All I kept thinking about was CVS and a bottle of Trial size lotion for them ashy joints!
@CPT Callamity,
Ashy feet aren’t as bad as rough heels. I remember one chic had heels so rough you could strike a match on them.
@Humble_One,
*cackled gafaugh*
@Humble_One,
This is why I’m an anti-flipflop activist. I’ve seen the absolute worst in people’s feet and won’t stand for it anymore. BTW…there is an APB out on Oprah to get foot surgery ASAP!
http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l30/haley-o/Cheaty%20Monkey/1179406532oprah_feet1.jpg
@CPT Callamity,
Corey Holcomb said she goes to regular doctor for her body, but a vet for her feet.
@CPT Callamity,
*Picks up Mic while fighting off security*
SHEA BUTTER, BAMAZ!!! Nuff Said! Moisturize!
*Runs of stage*
too funny
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
yea my dad brought some real shii back from africa neva tried it tho might havta check it out
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Check it out. It works wonders… Dissolves quick too, and makes your skin feels extra soft.
@CPT Callamity,
I love shea butter for the tootsies. Keeps em shining and helps that pedicure in the winter. But watch out on hot days. I over moisturized one sunny summer day and allasudden i felt like my sandaled feet were in a deep fryer walkin round manhattan. Hadn’t realized my seasonal crossover yet.
@willnotbetelevised,
French fried feet doesn’t sound good at all…
i personally am an avid cocoa butter user. you can put that sh*t urrwhere: arm, leg, leg, arm, head. word to the palmer’s jar.
i once dated a young lady who had the most cumbersome lotioning routine, it took her at least 15 minutes…i once made it through an entire episode of the daily show on dvr (read: 22 minutes and some odd seconds)
needless to say, her routine was quite annoying…until it was sexy time. her skin was sofTer than muffins fresh out the oven.
@Carver The Great!, yeah, but didn’t you have to wait 15 minutes just to get to sexxy time? lol. that’s not the business.
Is it called moisturizing or greasing?
@Humble_One, my girl calls it lotioning which i’m pretty sure isn’t a word.
@Panama Jackson,
Lotioning is a word, and I am sticking to it! LOL
@Ms. T,
I’m of the principle that once you’ve reached the advanced level of your language, you can start making up words. Same with grammar. You can break the rules if you master them.
I find this topic interesting, only in that I don’t put lotion on anything other than my hands, and face daily, and on occasion I’ll hit the elbows and ankles as needed. Ankles only applies when I have on hoop shorts and ain’t bout to go hoop, btw. And only with low tops. That’s just me. Plus, those are the ONLY spots I ever get ashy. I’m a light skint ninja, so nothing really dries out this a way. Bless massa for that one. My brother, however, perhaps only two shades darker than I, cannot vacate the shower without going through what can only be described as an audition for the Cirque du Soleil. I laugh every time I see it, but he says it is necessary so he doesn’t burst into flame.
My lady friends, however, particularly after a robust coital session will tend to shower the next morning (post wake and shake) and go through the same process you spoke of. I have no problem with this, because I like the feel of a smooth woman. Just as I expect her to shave accordingly, I expect her hands NOT to feel like she’s been a Shaolin monk all her life crushing stones in a heated wok. It’s also sexy when a foot is all of similar shades and the ankles and soles are as smooth as a baby’s arse, even though I despise feet and if they come anywhere near anything other than the side of my werewolf-esque leg, I’m throat punching all indiscriminate like. But it should be a nice lookin appendage, is all I’m saying. Wear something on the ankle too. I like ankles. Like a Puritan.
@Dante_Alexander,
particularly after a robust coital session
either I have the heehee’s today or you cats is funny then a mug….
@Saule Wright is happy the Cavs got Shaq,
Explain to me why a twizzaaat is darker than the rest of a body, when it sees the LEAST amount of light.
Just… TRY to explain that to me, please.
I thought this last night, and I am REALLY distrubed by it today.
Back to topic… You got the heehee’s, and we all funny then a mug. Makes for a productivity rating rivaling most Mafia Run Construction Sites.
@Dante_Alexander,
“i like ankles” is either a tshirt or a cautionary tale. i’m not sure which one.
its funny either way.
@Panama Jackson,
It’s both.
I wore it in Amish country, and got ran out of town for showing pron.
I wore it at the Fireworks in Detroit, and everybody thought I was crazy. It worked. Nobody yanked my Carti’s off my face. Go fig.
@Dante_Alexander,
“Wear something on the ankle too. I like ankles.”
lol…wtf. Like an ankle bracelet? Or actually directly on the ankle, like an ankle piercing or something? Wow, the latter disturbs me so much. Does this exist? God, I hope not.
@Cheekie,
I certainly don’t mean a “Cosby Sweataaaah”. I just want a nice ankle bracelet or something. But don’t wear one of them conch joints. “It was cool when we were in jamaica, baby, but now you done had that thing on non-stop for the last three months, and it’s growing cheese. From the smell of it… the Bleu kind.”
I don’t wanna have that conversation. Surgical steel, sterling silver, or nice golden with diamonds would suffice.
But I ain’t buying it. Gold diggin arse betch.
@Dante_Alexander,
LOL @ “cannot vacate the shower without going through what can only be described as an audition for the Cirque du Soleil.”
dead @ “I expect her hands NOT to feel like she’s been a Shaolin monk all her life crushing stones in a heated wok”
side note from the grave: i LOVE cirque du soleil. alegria is coming to pa. i pray fo’ gawd that i get to see it!!
I am horrible, my moisturizing regime depends on what I am wearing. I sweat quickly so if I am wearing pants I am not lotioning the top of my legs I will lotion the parts that shows. I like Jergen’s and I catch the face, arms, hands, feet, and calves down just so ash won’t show. Now if I am wearing a dress or having company then I will do the full body lotion.
I just can’t do fifteen different lotions, that is not in my makeup! But I do make sure that no one can see my ash!
@Ms. T, But I do make sure that no one can see my ash!
and i think thats the main crux of my man argument. if nobody can see it, it doesn’t exist, and therefore, all’s well in Denmark.
@Panama Jackson,
Til Burnam Wood meets Dunsdinane…
That is a euphemism for all you literati out there.
You’re welcome. You’re ALL welcome.
In H.S. Swimming was my sport cuz I loved getting in the water. Plus it’s a free natural endorphin high. But that Cl will dry you out faster than a gale forced -1000 degree wind. Speaking of cold wind. Swimming season is in the winter. I got hooked on cheap cocoa nut smelling lotion. To this day I love the smell of cocoanut. In my trap star starter kit (aka my 2000 buick lesabre) I got no less than 15 cocoanut and wild cherry air fresheners.
Yeah In warmer climates hm I found out lotioning wasn’t so necessary as I’d probably be sweating that onto errthang I touch.
yeah cracked skin is soooo not cool. Plus I got oily skin anyway. Somebody said I need to exfoliate more. pssschchcht. I hardly use the stuff. On exposed parts yeah okay. But it depends on what I got to do. If I’m going fishing I ain’t even washing sh*t. If I’m going to do some laborious chores nay no mah brotha. If I’m thinkin of seeing some hotties and them seeing me. Oh yeah. I’m thinking of trying to find some cocoa nut oil or something. I think I read somewere that you can put this stuff that looks like shea butter in your hand and it melt into an oil. (sounds like lotion’s answere to foir gras).
@WuDaMan,
“I think I read somewere that you can put this stuff that looks like shea butter in your hand and it melt into an oil. ”
That would be shea butter.
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
but they said it smells like cocoa nut. I want cocoa nut smelling stuff. *bratty crossed arms pouting*
@WuDaMan,
Shea butter has a nutty smell.
It doesn’t smell like coconut though…maybe we’re talking about two different things.
@WuDaMan,
btw good post Panama. I especially like the use of the adjective patant. Great mother fuhcking choice mother fuhcka. I also like how you guys redecorated the page’s lay out and how the Tags section no longer subliminally says sehx the champ.
@WuDaMan, well thank you sir. every now and then i have to attempt to validate my VSB moniker since on so many occasion ninjas try to question my gangsta.
@Panama Jackson,
Don’t preguntas that smart brotha’s gangsta he’ll stab an ant. lol
@Panama Jackson,
good reference to the Digital Underground track”kiss you back” thas my shiiiiii i been knockin it all last week and freaks of the industry and HUMPTY DANCE
@BLUNTBLAZER,
oh snap sehx packets a dollar for two just tell me how many for you this time. and underwater rhymes. Yeah
@WuDaMan, yea thas wuz up i miss that old skoo shii i dont buy new music anymore
@WuDaMan,
“and how the Tags section no longer subliminally says sehx the champ.”
LMAO!
Lotion is a must. Enough said. I’m super light skinned so the likelihood of you seeing me ashy is slim to none, but I know it’s there! Ash/dryness is not sexxy.
And white people should not be exempt from lotion applying responsibilities. Some of the ashiest, cracked-est, take-one-more-step-and-I-swear-I’ll-bleed heeled-est, I have ever seen have been on white people. That could have easily been avoided if lotion application was a part of their daily regimen.
@This Just In…, yeah, you’re right. white fox need it for health reasons just as much as we need it for aesthetic reasons.
that way we can all get along.
I have dark skin so lotion (I actually prefer body butter) is ESSENTIAL for me. Not to mention it helps preserve your skin and keeps it from aging. It doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female, looking like you just finished a shift at the Krispy Kreme factory is not cute.
@Voiceofreason, see i dont even know the difference b/w lotion and body butter.
i embarass me. i embarass myself.
@Panama Jackson,
Body butter just has a thicker consistency.
“You see, much like pedicures, men tend to do what’s necessary for survival. ”
Ah, so Darwin’s theory of evolution mentioned that homosapiens should own 300 pairs of shiny kicks in order to survive? *strokes chin and grabs monocle* Hmm. Interesting.
Sidenote.
This:
“Fortunately for me, my body stays plenty hydrated (and my momma is white) so perhaps my lotion needs aren’t the same as my homey D’Shankweyon or Babatunde”
Reminds me of the actor with the most fabulous showbiz name in Hollywood: Obba Babatunde. You know that cat that shows up in every damn film a la Jenifer Lewis? If not, IMDB that mofo and you’ll remember.
Back to regularly scheduled programming.
As for lotioning up, I really favor that Neutrogena Body Oil. It moisterizes enough where you don’t end up looking like Powder in the middle of the day. It’s always sold out at Nordstrom Rack because folks know what’s up.
That Shea It Isn’t So Shea Butter at Bath and Body Works is pretty decent, too. I use that more in the winter, though. A bit too thick for the summer.
As for whether I think men should put lotion even in places covered by clothing, I’m goin with a hearty yes. They say Black don’t crack, but if you don’t lotion up, you will eventually look like a human earthquake with all that dry arse skin. Just because you don’t see it most of the time doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken care of.
@Cheekie, Ah, so Darwin’s theory of evolution mentioned that homosapiens should own 300 pairs of shiny kicks in order to survive? *strokes chin and grabs monocle* Hmm. Interesting.
um…yeah. duh.
Everyone should embrace not only the lotion process, but the exfoliation process as well. The same way you work out you whole body, you should lotion your whole body. No one wants to rub against some Fred Flinstone feet in 20 years. Don’t lotion and scrub them regularly and that’s what will happen.
I keep my pumice stone in the shower for my in between visits to get a pedi.
You should also use a different soap for your face, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms.
I don’t understand your lotion ideology LOL. This is your skin…. a part of the body!! You should treat every part the same LOVING way. Lotioning only the parts that show is like brushing only your front teeth because those are the ones people see when you smile.
I am sooooo glad that some men have gfriends & wives that actually love them and will find a way to incorporate WHAT IS RIGHT into your lives without yall knowing it LOL. If your girl is making lotion a part of your love making it aint because she is trying to spice up your relationship…it’s because you are ashy!!!
I recently “convinced” a friend to get a pedicure because I told him that nail technician gave a really good foot and leg massage (which they do) and because he is athletic it would loosen up the muscles & relax his feet for his next workout.
He enjoyed the massage. I enjoyed looking at his feet for the next couple of days until the morphed back to rough & UGLY. I think must have felt a way about having nice looking feet and rubbed them on the pavement or something to scuff them back up because it was short lived!!
@Yaa, don’t judge me. only God can judge me!
I drink about 96 ounces or more of water daily and do not necessarily need to lotion. However I do moisterize nightly with 100% shea butter and I do exfoliate with homemade papaya &lemon apricot seed scrub at least twice weekly. I also take milk baths once a month. This routine has kept my knees and elbows at all one uniform color with the rest of my chocolatey skintone. I must say it’s very nice look being all one uniform color without the need of airbrushing. I think my skin is one of my very best features and love it dearly. My future man will be very please with all my hardwork whenever he decides to show up.
@Blue Skyez, maybe thats part of my success too, i drink water like no other beverage exists. its pretty much all i drink.
@Panama Jackson,
Water does work wonders… because I’m known to skip a day or two of lotionning…. But I usually go with the heavy machinery at night (shea butter+ palm kernel oil + Jergens shea butter…. all mixed up together
)
” Sure we love watching you all bend every kind of which-a-way in order to lotion your back, but we’re not going to do that.”
I’m a bigger fan of her moisturizing her “lower back”, the calves, then the ankles. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. G*d bless the morning.
That does sound rather delightful, lol!
My moisturizing regimen consists of Shea Butter scented Vaseline (previously Baby Fresh scented) all over my body, excluding my neck, face, and back . . . thin layer in the summer, thicker layer in the winter. And since my skin gets so dry in the winter, I normally add Neutrogena moisturizing cream to my face. I try to do the minimum that’ll keep my skin soft.
I must admit I sometimes slip up on the lotion department. I try to always use baby oil after I bathe. Also lately I’ve been using Vaseline more than lotion. It gives you a nice sheen. But not too much or else I’ll look like I’m ready for oil wrestling. My legs and feet get the most attention and my arms and face (this is my driest area). I’ve never lotioned my back or stomach but I do baby oil them.
@pinksghetti, you know, i use the word, but for real though…
…what the hell is a sheen?
Oh and I constantly put Vaseline on my hands after I was them because soap (especially work soap) makes my hands look like I’ve been digging through the Sahara with a bag of flour.
@Panama,
Please tell me D’Shankweyon lives in DC. **hopes for a meeting**
I’m an avid moisturizer. I definitely moisturize areas that won’t necessarily be exposed to the elements. I use the following: face cream, body lotion, foot cream, cuticle cream. (but I’mma look into that cocoa butter gel. sounds special) Even the stuff I use on my hair sometimes is called lotion. And I must have a tube of hand cream at all times.
Although I like a moisturized man I do not want his “beauty” regimen to be anywhere near as time consuming as mine. Men moisturizing their thighs isn’t really sexy to me.
@Ms. Hall,
re the cocoa butter gel…it is special!
@Ms. Hall, yep, he lives in SE,right off MLK by the big chair.
DAM I kinda feel like I sparked the Lotion debate. lolol. even if i didnt ima believe that i did.
Me I only use baby lotion in tha pink bottle (actually thas tha only thing i own thas pink) cause my son can use it to and its safe. Plus i never really had dry skin.
At work you cant wear shorts so M-F I only hit up the arms/hands if needed.
If im going out to to a function with shorts on then fo sho you gotta hit up the leggs and the knees and the ankles as well as the hands and arms. Neva do the face cause if its hot you gone sweat and sweat+lotion= feelin greasier than tito jackson and I dont wanna feel greasy jus not ashy.
I admit to using multiple types of lotion, and taking forever. Some types of lotion are for thick, drier patches of skin (used for feet, ankles, elbows). Some are meant to make your skin glisten in the sunlight just right so it accentuates your curves (legs, stomach, butt cheeks). Some is just basic all purpose lotion for the less important parts (arms, backs). And there’s the specialty face lotion with extra SPF in it, so you don’t have a peeling nose.
Do not hate on my beauty regimen. After all, it could be loads of facepaint/makeup and not lotion.
@chaoticdiva, very true. and makeup is not the business. well, overdoing the makeup isn’t the business anyway.
it’s bankruptcy, GM style.
WTF?! I got a pimple on my arm!!! No puncture point like a bite or anything. A mf’in pimple! I think I’ve had like 2 pimple in my whole life prior to this and they were both on my face. Now, an arm pimple??
@Me fail english?,
LMAO…how does this happen?
@Cheekie,
That’s what I’d like to know!
@Me fail english?, you know, today might have been the most informative look into The World of the Very Smart Sistas.
i know so much now.
@Panama Jackson,
Are you gonna use this new found info for evil?
This is a funny topic! I read it this morning and kind of forgot about it, thinking it was a bit of a stretch (sorry), but I’ve been thinking about it and it makes sense. This should be some sort of litmus test.
I had to give the last guy I dated a super-sized bottle of lotion for his ashy hands and feet (good gawd them feet!) He’s african but his skin would be white since he never moisturized. That fruity smelling watery mess wasnt doing the job, so I hooked him up with some Cocoa Butter Vaseline Intensive Care. His next girl can thank me later cuz his ashy a** was def. upgraded that day.
The guy before him was way more concious of his skin. I knew I’d made a friend for life the first time I went to his apt and he had the same moisturizer I carry in my purse.
Also, the Palmers Cocoa Butter Formula (not the gel or cream or stick, but the formula) changed my life.
Great Post!
@Dom,
His next girl can thank me later cuz his ashy a** was def. upgraded that day.
*loud laugh*
@Dom, This is a funny topic! I read it this morning and kind of forgot about it, thinking it was a bit of a stretch (sorry), but I’ve been thinking about it and it makes sense. This should be some sort of litmus test.
so you wrote me off at first…THEN you realized the genius that is Panama Dontavious Jackson!!!!
harumph. the nerve of some people.
My regimen is pretty extensive. And I’ll admit that’s just because I like “products” and rubbing them on. I was blessed with PERFECT skin. Don’t hate me. However, my love for products has made my body care routine quite timely, begiining with the shower. At least twice a week it includes an exfoliation with organic cherry lemonade sugar scrub. Smeels good and its edible not to mention what it does as far as buffing the skin. Followed by your normal wash with the dove creamy oil bar, and lastly the dove creamy oil body wash, unless I have “plans” then it may be one of any assorted flavor bodywashes depending on my mood. Exit shower,
Drench skin in either jnj lavender baby oil or jajoba oil hair and skin oil. Allow that to absorb while brushing teeth.
Now, nivea q10 skin firming on breast and thighs, and a combo of vaseline and eucerin on arse feet elbows and knees and then a basic lotion errwhere else. (All in moderation)
I don’t know if its genetics or the extensive slathering of products, but anybody who has touched my skin,/shook my hand, has stated that I have the softest skin ever.
Funny thing is I do nothing to my face. Unless I went out, I prob had on lil/no makeup so I wash face with…WATER. Lol. And generally moisturize it with the cheap hand lotion in the bottle on the sink when I remeber. My girlfriends HATE me.
I like my men to take good care of their skin as well. The vaseline lotion. Combo is something I picked up from an ex. He had beautiful skin!!! Hmmmm, wonder what he’s doin these days…
@treble, I was blessed with PERFECT skin. Don’t hate me.
so what you’re basically saying is that you have perfect skin and everybody else who’s hating can go kick rocks…that about the gist of it?
Whenever I comment this late I feel like I am extra (not fashionably) late to the party
my lotion regimen varies on the season. In the winter I use palmer’s on everything except the face and neck.
The summer I use Johnson & Johnson creamy baby oil on everything except the neck but first (in the shower) I use the baby oil gel (especially after shaving my legs).
On my face I only use Aveeno calming lotion.
And I only ever use Dove soap, I have since I was a child.
I also have the scented lotions from Bath and Body works and the body shop, and those only go on arms shoulders back of the neck , sometimes legs.
Yes its a routine, but like PJ said, men love when we feel silky smooth and smell wonderful. Though I must say I get the most compliments when I am just wearing the Johnson & Johnson creamy baby lotion.
I am in total agreement that everyone needs to keep a small lotion in their hand bag or car. I usually have palmer’s or in the winter Neutrogena Hand Cream (this is the bomb).
@Intellectual Hedonist, it’s okay. somebody has to the be the last one to the show.
LMAO @ two lotions…….
hahahaha I use palmers coco butter mixed with baby oil on my legs and asse*ts, I use Milk lotion or some other nicer lotion on the core of my body, and then on my feet yet another LOL..
I love being a girl
Oh yes when its like 1000 degrees out like it will soon be consistently…… I use J&J baby oil all over, cept the feet still get lotioned
Love and Peace to the Jackson family, Michael was the baddest thing to ever be on tv
Yes big ups to the Gloved One…. a man who had to keep with the sunblock. (Seriously, no melanin = a shoe in for skin cancer)
I really dont have an ash factor until winter, then Im all about the Johnson & Johnson creamy baby oil right after a shower/shave. Otherwise Aveeno…