its a conspiracy. a c-o-n-spiracy.
you see, bobby brown was a prophet, a modern day nostradamus sent from God to warn us all of the merciless nature of the typical woman with his genius “don’t be cruel“. realizing this, the national council of cruel women siced a seemingly sweet-hearted whitney houston on him, stringing him out and making him lose sight of and forget his earthly purpose.
the very smart brothas at verysmartbrothas.com haven’t forgotten, though. taking the torch from grand minister brown, here’s the four cruelest things women consistently do to men
1. keeping friend-zoned guys around
not only are most women aware of the hapless friends they have who are patiently hoping for a never occurring opening, they have no problem with taking advantage of him once he’s in place…and giving him just enough of a tease of a potential opening to keep him there.
there are myriad ways that they do this, but my favorite is the wistfully nonchalant “i wish there were more guys were like you. why can’t i find a good man?” they’ll utter to the emasculated cat driving them to ikea so she can replace the bed her maintenance man just helped her break the night before
bastards.
2. asking loaded questions with no right answers
from “do you think i’m gaining weight?” to “do you find her attractive?”, women love asking men unanswerable questions more than fat asians love pumas. at this point, i either answer by repeating the question “why? do you think you’re gaining weight?” or just saying “jello”
3. flirting with happily attached men
seriously, i really think that they have clandestine national meetings underneath williams sonoma’s every other weekend to discuss which one of us are in a relationship (“at approximately 4:26 eastern standard time last sunday afternoon, james jackson of albany, new york proposed to his longtime girlfriend“), decide when and how exactly to attack (“he’s particularly vulnerable between 12:25 and 12:50 wednesday afternoons right before he has his lunch“), and delegate who’s going to be leading the charge (“kim, since he has a thing for leggy women and is particular about his cologne, we’re gonna need you to slide up to him in line at wendy’s this week and compliment his new kenneth cole black. he also has a thing for business women, so make sure to wear your bangingest pants suit. a slight french accent would be cool too, since he’s infatuated with haitian women“)
while this is extremely lecherous, it’s nowhere as bad as…
4. “the boyfriend”
the boyfriend is the name for the scenario that occurs when a man has spent an entire night talking to, laughing and dancing with, and getting to know a seemingly unbelievably compatible woman, only to be hit with the “hey, what type of movies do you like? i’m really into p*rn, tarentino flicks, scorsese, and old nba highlight films. i love spielberg sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.
bastards.
fellas, i know i’m missing a few. do you have any more examples of relentless cruelness you’d like to share? also, ladies, i need to know: why are you all so damn cruel? is it our fault, or did God just make you that way? is it nature, nurture, or the alcohol?
explain yourselves and sh*t
—the champ
Related posts:
- lost in translation: what men usually hear when women are talking to us
- sadie’s suspect: four reasons why women shouldn’t pursue men
- “is she cute?”: the one topic men and women never agree on…and why
- pants on fire: 7 things we (men) like much more than you think we do…even though we’ll never admit it
- two reasons why men are “better” at friendship than women are
{ 523 comments… read them below or add one }
the scenario that occurs when a man has spent an entire night talking to, laughing and dancing with, and getting to know a seemingly unbeliviably compatible woman, only to be hit with the “hey, what type of movies do you like? i’m really into p*rn, tarentino flicks, scorcese, and old nba highlight films. i love spielburg sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.
That’s why you should ask up front lol.
@Leila,
That’s why you should ask up front lol.
thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.
don’t try to justify your evil.
@The Champ,
don’t try to justify your evil.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! i am so killed!!!! you KILL me!!!
@superwoman,
i always write down and keep your comments in my pocket so i can look at them if im having a bad day.
@The Champ,
*slaps forehead*
Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.
@Cheekie,
*slaps forehead*
Not, upfront as in the very first statement you make to her, but when you are actively in conversation. Don’t wait all the way ’til the situation expressed in your post.
I agree with Cheekie, I usually ask within the first 5-10 mins though so I won’t waste any more time then i have to.
@The Champ,
thing is, women say that they hate when guys open conversations with that question.
That would be funny though…
Man: Psst…hey you, tell me something, you got a man?
Woman: Ehhh, nah, why?
Man: Sup, love, [pops gum and offers her one] how you doin’, baby, my name’s Champ, nice night, eh? How ’bout them Pirates?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
She’d probably say Pirates suck and keep it movin. If she doesn’t, then YOU should walk away.
@Leila,
“That’s why you should ask up front lol.”
Then we lose points for being presumtuous… We should be told upfront, you know he ain’t approach you to be friends.
@Omar,
i think they should just wear signs
@The Champ,
Hmmm. why would we get mad if you ask that? The question isn’t the problem. The problem starts when after I say Yea, I have a boyfriend, and the dude still keeps trying.
@Selah, oh you all get mad. you all are all like, “why for come you would just go straight there? you don’t respeck me enuff to even ask me how i’m doin’ or try to get to know me first? i’m a laaaaaady.”
yeah, something like that.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL I didn’t know we all spoke like that, too. I pretty much cosign everything Happy Meal said down there (insert arrow here)
It shouldn’t be the first question…. but it should be in the top few, i think. Cuz if not, the women have the right to spring that ish on you.
hmmm. Now that I think about it… I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)
@Selah,
I only say I have a boyfriend if after talkin to the guy for a while and I feel like he is a lame. Then it’s like NVM! I’m TAKEN! (which should be read as: TAKE YOUR LAME AZZ SOMEWHERE ELSE)
if he’s lame, why are you talking to him for a while?
@Panama Jackson,
lol@ the ESL bishes you be baggin. Who talks like that?!
But I actually feel more disrespected when I tell a guy I have a man and he’s like “so”. Da eff you think you are? And what exactly do I look like? Dont answer that or I will be forced to get “urban” and embarrass us both.
@Champ,
because I have yet to learn how to tell a guy nicely to keep it pushin. So I get trapped in convos I don’t want to be in, while “willing them away” in my head
@Champ,
Also, some men just dont shut up. No lie, I’ve had random guys talk my ear off and not ask for my number. I think some ppl just like to make speeches. I call them “older black men”
@Panama,
“why for come you would just go straight there?”
AHAHAHAHA! Who TALKS like that?! First: Stop hittin’ on third graders. Second: If it’s the FIRST thing you ask, then yeah, you’re rude and will get told. “Hi” is the standard first statement in human nature. Don’t jumpstart to a conversation statement right off the back…you gotta get her initial attention first.
I imagine the conversation going something like this with ya’ll:
*Panama walking down the street*
*Lady walks by Panama*
*Panama gawks*
*Panana jumps in front of Lady*
Panama: You gotta man?
Lady: *sprays mace*
@Cheekie,
*Panama walking down the street*
*Lady walks by Panama*
*Panama gawks*
*Panana jumps in front of Lady*
Panama: You gotta man?
Lady: *sprays mace*
This might be an even better plot and script than the one I wrote upthread…
@Cheekie,
you forgot the last part
*Panama then hits lady with haymaker as he tries to get the mace out of his eyes*
*Panama then goes to jail and sings we shall overcome as he’s being escorted away by police*
@Panama,
With your addition, I’d probably go see this play.
@SGPL,
Writing scripts is what I does.
@The Champ,
I’m going to agree with you on this one – 100%. “You gotta man?” is not a cool pick-up line.
In fact, your lameness will immediately cause your invisibility shield to drop into place.
@SexyCool,
I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend. If that’s part of your first questions, even if I’m single, I am walking away.
@sula is pro-socialism
“I agree. Can we make conversation? Can we share a few laughs? Does it have to be about the chase ALL the time? I would rather a guy talk to me casually than ask me if I have a boyfriend”
this really depends on when and how you meet. if you just happen to strike up a convo in the elevator, thats cool. but, if a guy meets a woman at a club type place where he’s already probably spent money getting in and maybe buying a drink or two, having great convo with cool, attached women isn’t the most efficient way to spend that time
@SexyCool,
yeah that “you got a man” line is so lame to me. I’d rather say “are you single”, idk, you don’t seem as desperate and when you ask a woman if she has a man, most automatically get the impression I want to be in a relationship with them. But if I ask if their single, then hopefully I give off the vibe that I want to get to know you more and see where it goes….
@Omar,
I guess every woman is different cuz I have no problem with being asked if I have a man early on. Dont get me wrong. It shouldnt literally be the FIRST question, before “How are you doing?”/”What’s your name?” but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.
Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!
Or worse yet, the dude who will actually try to convince you he makes all his friends by staring into their cleavage and asking them to dinner. Yup, GROWN men.
@Me fail english?,
“Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken. Ninja plz! What a coincidence, cuz I aint tryna be yo’ friend!”
*Dead* I must file this away for later usage
@Me fail english?,
“Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*”
After saying this do they say “…I’m trying to be yo’ ni**a”???
@Omar,
LMAO! That dude would get at least another 60 seconds of convo and a smile just for being soo….”ethnic”
@Me fail english?, Also, you’d be surprised how many full grown men will hit you with the “Well I aint tryna be yo’ man *smirk*” after you tell them you’re taken.
i can’t lie. i’ve said that to a chick before. it was true…i was just trying to hit.
@Panama Jackson,
Yeah…we’re familiar with that logic. *laughing loudly*
@Me fail english?,
but I dont wanna be the presumptuous one if a brotha is just making small talk on the train and I bust out with “I GOTS A MAYNE!!”. Cuz that would make me a douche.
lol, no. that would officially make you the funniest black female comedian in america.
don’t feel too good about that title though. right now it doesn’t take much
@Me fail english?,
“I GOTS A MAYNE!!”
I read this in the voice of Ashley “Smashly” Evans.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
love smashley! she’s the running joke in my circle of friends
@Me fail english?, yeah bein hit with the “ay guh…you got a man?” is not the business. and it happens. alot.
don’t you wanna kno my name? i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain…and don’t you think that affected my decision to continue a conversation with this guy? it did. similarly if i said my name is chasdizz but they call me throatcutter, you may wanna kno that before we get to if i have a man or not.
actually now that i think about it, i get a lot of out of order questions.
hmm.
@Chasdizz,
*doubled over laughing @ this whole damn post*
When I was younger I used to tell dudes I didnt like my name was”Bruce” in a tenor. I was the only one who thought that ish was funny.
@Chasdizz,
i met a dude named Meat once, complete with matching “MEAT” iced-out chain
how does one get the nickname “meat”?. actually, nevermind. thats probably a question i’m better off not knowing the answer to
@Champ,
he claimed it was short for Demetrius…but he could have been lying.
@Leila, Of all the times I’ve ever read an “LOL” on a computer screen, this one here:
“That’s why you should ask up front lol.”
…may possibly be the cruelest.
@Leila,
Actually, she’s right. You should ask up front. It doesn’t take a genius to do it.
Say, she’s wearing a scarf.
Guy: “Brr, it’s a bit chilly tonight but you seem to be generating heat here all by yourself”.
Gal: *giggles* “Well, I do my best”.
Guy: “I’m sure you do” *smile* “Though maybe it’s that scarf, your boyfriend has good taste”.
Gal: “Actually, I got that myself. I don’t have a boyfriend”
Guy: *score!*
OR
Gal: “Yeah, he’s that one standing over there”.
Guy: *that explains the burning sensation on the back of my neck*
OR
Gal: “Nah, my boyfriend found this to be too much”.
Guy: *Ah, that explains why it seemed too easy to chat with her*
@kamakula, hahaha, choose your own adventure!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I love you for the Choose Your Own Adventure shout-out.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
lmao @ choose your own adventure.
@kamakula,
lol, you should have kept it going
well, hell. i have nothing to comment about today. because i do all of these.
@charli skipp,
bastard
@The Champ,
bastard these.
i’ve waited so long to say that. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
@charli skipp, lmao, you have waited so long to say “these”?
@charli skipp,
*sigh* I can’t even give u complete props. It’s “DEEZ!”
@charli skipp,
these deez
@The Champ, thuggie luvvie, and overit
umm………you guys will not steal my joy today. Not Today, DEVIL! lol
@charli skipp,
I love how you got proper on Champ. *standing O*
And FINALLY, we got to witness Champ saying “these deez”. I predicted this way back when we had to ask Champie and Panda those questions. Miss Cleo can kick rocks. Make way for Miss Cheekie.
@Cheekie,
cheek deez
@Champ,
*puts on SARS mask*
@charli skipp,
Are we like related or something? lol…
@charli skipp, wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.
@Panama Jackson,
wow, admitted suckery. you don’t get that too often.
i do, but its…wait. nevermind
@The Champ,
*smh*
I don’t know why we ask the unanswerable questions. I do it unconsciously… but my boyfriend always says, “You ain’t gonna get me with that one…” He also knows to answer often with, “Girl you know you fine, hush up.” lol…
example convo:
Alise: Does this dress flatter me?
Boyfriend: Girl you know you fine.
Alise: How’s the weather?
Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine
Alise: What time does the movie start?
Boyfriend: Girl, you know you fine.
(smart man)
@Naturally Alise,
***taking notes***
@Naturally Alise,
LMAO!!! E’s smart indeed.
@Naturally Alise,
Yeah…yeah….like that….(**puffy voice whisper**)
Bond. BlkBond.
We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. Flipping the script:
1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.
2) Why do you answer a question with a question and think we don’t notice? “So where were you last night?” Men, “Oh did you try and call me?” FAIL!
3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?
4) Why are you smiling at me, making conversation, dancing and buying drinks when you KNOW you have a Jazmine Sullivan type girlfriend/wife who carries a Glock in her purse?
yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!
@OneChele,
1. don’t date gay men
2. don’t ask stupid questions
3. stop playin
4. we want to be saved
“yessir, this is why we wait until the fourth quarter of the game to tell you “we need to talk”, this is why we sometimes eat a steak before you come home and give you a hamburger, and this is why we changed the ringtone on your phone to play “Say My Name” every time we call and then we call you twenty times while you are out with your boys. We gotta fight fire with fire. Ha!”
bastard
@The Champ,
LOL at “stop playin”
@The Champ,
lol. Champ’s in rare form today.
@The Champ, wow, great answers.
she trippin.
@The Champ,
Well played
@The Champ,
“2. don’t ask stupid questions”
The above can be copied and pasted next to each each of YOUR numbers. And your final question.
Also: Don’t be stupid.
@Cheekie,
ALSO, very true.
@The Champ,
Bwahahahahaha…..
@The Champ,
“stop playing” lmao
@OneChele,
“We are cruel because ya’ll are mean. ”
DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“1) Why do you take a woman out four times then kiss her on the forehead and tell her she’s a pal. You could’ve done that day one so she knew she was in the friend zone.”
Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol
__________________________________________
3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?
“Hmm,” indeed! Men are selfish.
And thanks for the “Say My Name” ringtone tip. I’m going to change my “just a friend” boy’s to “I’m Bossy!” tonight.
@charli skipp, Wait. Are you me? Because this exact thing happened to me! This guy that I went to school with made a fool of himself trying to ask me out in front of a group of our classmates/friends. Said he had a crush on me/the whole nine. We go on a few wooooonderful dates and he makes no moves–I figure he’s a gentleman. Until after date 4, when he kisses me on the forehead…….um…..wait. what? HUH!? ouch *sad face* lol
i’m guessing it took 4 dates to realize…man, i spent all that time trying to get this chick and THIS IS IT?!?! forehead kiss off.
@Panama Jackson,
If the guy was all over you at first, then 4 dates into it, gives you nothing more than a forehead kiss… what does that tell you??
@Roger,
um…that you are mean? bastid.
@OneChele, girl i’m currently going through #3. NOW you want to just call and make small talk? Boy bye!
@melekaj, he wants to see you naked.
@Panama Jackson,
i agree. he wants to do the no pants dance
@OneChele,
Ok, you have described 1/2 of the turds that I have dated in the last year. Wow, apparently I suck at this dating thing.
@chaoticdiva,
why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something?
thats not maia campbell, is it?”@The Champ, “why is the image of you out at a movie or something with a giant turd stuck in my head? like, you’re sitting there eating popcorn, and he’s in the other seat, just sitting there, and people are wondering “why is she sitting next to that piece of sh*t? is she insane or something? thats not maia campbell, is it?””
LMBAO @ all of this foolishness right here.
@The Champ,
I’m mad ppl are talking about why she’s at the movie with shet rather than questioning the existence of a breathing, man-sized piece of shet.
Also, plz dont joke about Maia Campbell as she is a saint and we know how I get.
@OneChele, “Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm? ”
That is the dayum truth… they are forever coming out of the woodworks.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Seriously I’m gonna need a man to answer this one. Who the hell told yall to keep showin up like herpes?
@Me fail english?, Exactly… because it’s guaranteed to happen.
@Me fail english?, done and done.
we were bored and we’d like to continue trying to see you naked. so we figure, what the hell, its worth a shot. we aint’ doing nothing else and there’s no game on.
@Panama Jackson,
took the words out of my mouth
by the way, saying “took the words out of my mouth” to another man is 34 percent gay
@Me fail english?,
Why grown women need this explained to them is ridiculous to me
@Dorian G.,
Ya know, once I finished typing that I realized…”Wait. I know the answer to this. Why did I ask?” I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?
@Me fail english?, cuz pen*s is persistent.
“pen*s is persistent.”
this could definitely be a t-shirt, but i dont know who i’d market it to
@Dorian G., Me fail….
“I guess a better question would be why are they so persistent. At some point if Im not even answering the phone/text shouldnt you get MORE bored and move on to the next number?”
Men’s persistence is directly related to the amount of attention you retract (there’s an algorithm for this, I believe).
-If you always used to answer his calls after one ring and now he goes to voicemail, he will increase his calls by 3.
-If you used to invite him over for dinners, or otherwise suggest meet-ups and suddenly stop contact, he will increase his calls by 5.
-If you gave him the drawers and then subsequently called to keep in touch but were met with half-hearted “uh huh’s”, when you don’t call him for a month or more he will call, write, show up at your doorstep, apply for a job at your workplace and staple his photo onto every Essence that appears in your mailbox.
@Me fail english?,
herpes indeed.
with no valtrex commercial in sight.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Oooo!!! Really though!
@OneChele,
or worse, 5) suddenly abandon FWB/jumpoff protocol by consistently slobbing me down all up in the face like we married only to be talmbout how you to scared to try and get to know me? WTF?! What you really want from a ninja?!
@Happy Meal,
I applaud the use of any and all DMX quotes.
@miss t-lee,
lol I use it at LEAST once a week
@Happy Meal,
I paraphrased the “I’m not a nice person” quote in my post downthread…LMAO
@miss t-lee,
ya’ll have blood on your hands, cause there’s no remorse
@The Champ,
“Catch you on some cozy ish, running around here with chinese slippers and silk scarves on…”
*snickering*
@OneChele, 3) Why do you wait until we have given up on you and are into someone else to show us you are interested. Now I gotta man and you can’t live without me? Or do you just want what you can’t have? Hmm?
b/c we get bored too. and when we get bored we run down all the numbers to see if we can hit off any body we didn’t manage to poke before. its really quite simple. sometimes, you will get that call. and no, he doesnt want to be with you. he wants to see your pokerface.
@Panama Jackson,
and you say women are cruel…lol
@Happy Meal, that’s not cruel. she already got a man so its really just for sport. now it would be cruel if she LEFT her current man, we hit, AND THEN dropped.
now that’s cruel.
@Panama Jackson,
bastards.
And this is why when i see missed calls/texts from dudes from way back I don’t respond. He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.
@Selah,
He ain’t just tryna “catch up”.
oh, he is. just not in the way you’re thinking
@OneChele,
That ain’t so bad.
What about when women use feeler questions to manipulate you into doing stuff they want you to do. Example:
Woman: “What are you doing later?”
Man: “Nothing, chilling, watching the game.”
Woman: “It’s not the playoffs, right?”
Man: “Nah, it’s way to early for that.”
Woman “Don’t the games only get really good in the playoffs?”
Man: “Yeah, pretty much.”
Woman: “Cool…Um, I need somebody to help move out of my apartment tonight, can you help?”
That right there is wrong. ‘Cause if we try to cut to the chase and find out what you want, since we know you’re not really interested in basketball or our plans, y’all get all huffy and what not.
This is the worst female trait in the world.
@Big Man,
I have a co-worker who hits me with the “Are you busy?” only to ask me to do his work for him. Now I always say yes. Even when Im just sipping hot chocolate and filing my nails.
@Me fail english?,
i had a co-worker who’d get me with that to, but he was clever enough to make his questions so vaguely specific that i wouldnt catch on
“hey champ, do you have any plans for the second weekend in october?”
“nah”
“great. i just bought a new fridge, and i need someone to help me move it”
Four words:
Tight t-shit.
Erect nipples.
Yeah, I went there.
@Anechoic,
i was gonna add a pic like that to the post, until i remembered that we’re trying not to get banned anymore
@Anechoic,
Erect nipples disgust me. Well, unless……..nevermind.
@charli skipp,
Can I delete this?
@charli skipp,
LMAO!
@charli skipp,
Can I delete this?
depends
@charli skipp,
Also, can we pleaaaaaase talk about mackenzie phillips on oprah? WHAT is going on with the 2520 people?
@charli skipp,
No. That’s just nasty…I purposely avoided even watching the show yesterday…lol I read the article though.
@charli skipp,
you made me google her. and i am thoroughly disgusted. I mean come on! That was Fi’s mom on So Weird! Who knew she had them issues. SMH.
@charli skipp,
that situation gives another meaning to the phillips head screwdriver
@The Champ,
Yup. You’re definitely in rare form today.
@Anechoic,
“Tight t-shit.
Erect nipples.”
ummm It’s cold!
@Ivy St.,
It doesn’t even have to be cold for me…SMDH..high school was rough for me, lol
@Smiley Face,
two words
Molded cups.
@Happy Meal,
two more words…
don’t work
My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….
@smiley face
My mama ‘blessed’ me with these things, lol..only things that work are those nursing pads . I’ve even tried the bras with the daisies already in them, I can still see the outline….
***useless without pics***
@Smiley Face,
I am seriously not trying to be facetious, but what exactly is wrong with erect nipples? I mean it’s not like you want them to be ‘erect’, they are just that… I don’t know it sometimes feels like we are going out of our way for something that’s rather harmless imho…
@Sula,
Harmless maybe to you but it can be uncomfortable when you look up from the presentation you’re giving, wondering why your colleague hasn’t answered you and him staring directly into your chest or being constantly teased about your 2 sets of eyes, I can’t walk around with my arms crossed, lol..meh. When I’m not at work I don’t care but when I am, I prefer to keep my nipples to myself.
@Sula,
I gotta agree with Smiley. That ish is embarrassing. Thankfully it doesnt come up (see what I did there? haha) often.
@Anechoic,
“Tight t-shit.”
All I know is that I don’t wanna wear a t-shit, I wanna wear a t-shirt. The former sounds smelly and uncouth.
@Cheekie,
Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…
*logs off*
@Me fail english?,
LOL, Girl, my bad. I support folks keeping their jobs. Folks also includes ‘me’. This is all Champ’s fault.
@Cheekie,
its not my fault. the g-20 hysteria here s making me crazy
@Me fail english?, “Nobody wants me to keep my damn job. I dont know if its the jokes or Im still drunk…”
I know my boss is wondering because she just sent an email talking about mandatory work on Saturday and Sunday and I’m in here crakkin the fukk up like that sh!t is cool. LoL FUKKIT! LONG LIVE VSB! y’all muffukkas are hilarious
@Cheekie, taking a t-sh*t would be a neat trick, however.
Pfft. I don’t intentionally flirt with taken men…sober. And…and…and….nevermind.
@chaoticdiva,
bastard
@The Champ,
bastard deez. aoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooww!
@charli skipp,
LOL!
@charli skipp,
*Dying* @ “aooooooo… [to be cont'd]“
@The Champ,
Aww, you know I can’t help being a flirt. However, I don’t do homewrecking activities. And I’m indecisive. Because of this, I don’t keep boyfriends…I’m scared I’ll lose interest.
…ok, so I see I’m not really helping my case at this point, so I’m going to take the foot out of my mouth and find a book to read.
@chaoticdiva,
Aww, you know I can’t help being a flirt.
lol, yes you can. you just don’t want to
@chaoticdiva,
i do. sober and not. its good sport. i kinda do it as revenge for the 4 dates and forehead kiss. yeah i might be wrong but eh, they dont have to participate.
Women are considered cruel?
Thank you, I take that as compliment…
@h3avensent08,
bastard
@The Champ,
Is this gonna be your response to every woman’s post today? Who pissed on your toast?
I know, I know.
“Yes…bastard.” and “Toast deez”
@Me fail english?,
quote deez
@ champ…
Women aren’t cruel…men are stewpid!
1. you know you are in the friend zone…keep it moving
2. you may not know what to say but you damn sure ought to know what NOT to say
3. You like it and flirt back and where’s your ring?
4. Does it really matter? if i’m here all night with you then…
@Caramel Eclair,
“Women aren’t cruel…men are stewpid!”
I’d like this on a t-shirt in an XS. Please and thanks.
@Thuggie Luvvie, Give me one in a smedium… Please and thank you.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
YES, definitely a t-shirt!
@Caramel Eclair,
4. Does it really matter?
…more proof
@Caramel Eclair,
I find it hilarious that the men in the friend zone don’t quite get that the “friend zone” is a nice way of saying “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you’re not my type”. My friend zone guys generally have asked me out, and I’ve told them no, but they stick around anyways, because apparently I pronounce “no” like “maybe in a week I’ll be interested”… I’m always left wondering if I missed something.
@chaoticdiva,
(deadpan) – Apparently, we know the same dudes.
@chaoticdiva,
“apparently I pronounce “no” like “maybe in a week I’ll be interested”…”
I wonder this myself… Men are some persistent little creatures…
@chaoticdiva, i realize that on this here site we apparently get all of the (allegedly) “most sane” women in the world (somehow) who somehow never fall into the stereotypes we claim of women, but let’s not BS ourselves here either. most women do not just have these guys who REFUSE to take no for an answer (unless you’re in the club and that only lasts for say, 4 to 5 hours). when you all have men that just won’t go away its probably b/c you offer some glimmer of hope somewhere knowing full damn well that we’re looking for a glimmer of hope. you get mad when we refer to you all as just a “friend” but have no desire on having any conversation about feelings. women like having “friend zone” dudes b/c it allows them the companionship they want while they don’t have the boyfriend they want.
*and i know NONE of you all would dare do such a thing.
you’re lying.
@Panama Jackson,
I’ma give you this one. But I will say that those male friendships are those that I find safer to invest in. That said, I give and do as much to/for them as they do me….why? Because guess what? I actually consider them friends. I believe there are plenty of great black men out there but all of them are not meant for me. So as sordid as it may sound, they serve as pleasant reminders that there is a black man out there for me and I spoil them and remind them that they shouldnt settle for a woman, of ANY ethnicity that isn’t going to treat them at least as good as I do, if not better, cuz they can do bad all by themselves.
@Happy Meal,
Damn. That’s commendable. I’m mostly just a user. *shrugs*
@Happy Meal, so as to NOT be cruel, you keep these great men around as reminders that there are other great men (that aren’t the ones around you pining away for you) so that you can give some great man a chance b/c of the great man you have as a friend?
is that about right?
that’s like me saying, “girl, you’re so perfect, i hope i meet a chick like you so that i can get married and be the family that i know i always wanted. buck up kid, you give me hope for women out there. i dont want you, but somebody just like you will do just fine. just not you. you’re my friend and i don’t date friends, though i hope that the chick that i get, who’s of course, JUST like you will become my friend…thank you for beeeeeeeeing a friend and giving me hope. first Obama and now you! wow, how can a guy be so lucky!”
@Happy Meal,
I am with Me Fail here… Yes, sometimes I keep some guys around for fun… not on purpose though. It’s just that I realize it after the fact…
@Panama Jackson,
when you all have men that just won’t go away its probably b/c you offer some glimmer of hope somewhere knowing full damn well that we’re looking for a glimmer of hope
inglorious bastards
@The Champ, and @ Panama,
spare me! Ninjas do similar things all the time i.e. you’re great and all but i’m not ready for a serious relationship ….only to end up engaged and giggly 3 months later. Are you really tryin to tell me all your female friends ( if you have any) are people you don’t think are relationship material at all? i’m not saying my man friends are or are not perfect, I’m just saying I don’t think they’re for me… Either I see things in them that i dont want from someone i’m going to date, or we just don’t click like that….
just cuz i don’t want it don’t mean i gotta knock it
@happy meal,
the champ doesn’t have female friends, just women he slept with in different lifetimes.
@Panama Jackson,
I have coined the phrase “mind whore.”
This is what those dudes are to chicks. They provide all the mental stimulation of a boyfriend, which allows chicks to ignore the fact that the ninja actually laying pipe can’t remember their last name half the time.
Just like men have slores, women have mind whores. Unlike us, they can’t be honest with themselves about what’s going on, and like to pretend that we’re the ones who fooled ourselves. Of course, we men do say the same thing about our crazy jumpoffs.
It all works out.
@Big Man,
That’s genius. Good look Big Man. I have seen this process, and naming it has eluded me, however, your definition of mind whore will suffice.
Bond.
@Big Man,
Unlike us, they can’t be honest with themselves about what’s going on, and like to pretend that we’re the ones who fooled ourselves.
You know what I will have to agree with you.
@Big Man,
good point and sh*t
@Caramel Eclair,
This is all gospel truth. Some men refuse to acknowledge rejection. I had a guy “date” me for like 2 years when I was younger, without so much as inviting him over to watch the grammy’s. Sheeit, I was in college wit no dough and he just kept taking me to free, good asz dinners. What did you expect me to do?!?!
@Me fail english?,
“What did you expect me to do?!?! ”
Order the Surf and Turf
@Ivy St.,
With the Lobster Bisque.
@miss t-lee, this woulda got someone stabbed. not necessarily u but someone
@ Peysonic Temple,
LMAO!!!! Bring it!!!
@miss t-lee,
LMAO @ Peyso randomly turning around to stab another patron as I ordered the bisque.
Unrelated: I almost got hit with broken glass in Red Lobster one time. The girl who caught the brunt of the shards (an innocent bystander) had to get stitches. It was gross. But we kept eating.
@ Me fail english?,
That sounds like a hood azz Red Lobster…lmao
I’m *dying* that ya’ll kept eating though. Can’t waste pefectly good food huh? lol
“It was gross. But we kept eating.”
sounds like dinner at ivy street’s
@miss t-lee,
And my homegirls had the nerve to try to get the meal free for the “inconvenience” of being in the middle of the fight. I told their dumbasses you can’t keep eating and get it for free. You gotta act shocked and appalled…and dump the rest of the crab meat in your purse…
And I think ALL Red’s are ghetto. This joint was in Times Square, 2009. smh but lmao
@Me fail english?,
Wow y’all are evil.
@Dorian G.,
LOL
3. flirting with happily attached men
eh, i noticed couples like to just make up ish sometimes, i figured it spices things up. there is blatant flirting, but sometimes people assume based off the most benign conversation. womp.
@overit,
womp deez
@The Champ,
“womp deez”
Naw. Aif may get jealous.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
May your fro never grow.
@overit,
I call BS on this one too. You know how you’ll be standing next to a guy and a woman comes up and makes friendly conversation, and next thing you know, it’s all about “she wants me. See how she was flirting?”… Ermmm… no she wasn’t!!! She was talkingto you. Like a real chick. And, then of course you get hit with ye olde “Oh you didn’t pick it up as it was a bit subtle. But we men know when we’re being hit on”.
Please! Show me a woman who can’t pick up on the 25 hues and 567 permutations of flirting, and I’ll show you a man who just had a secks change operation….
@wanjiru, i call BS on your BS. if a chick rolls up on a dude, she’s flirting. y’all got too much pride to just roll up on a dude all willynilly and not flirt as to ensure he won’t play you.
women don’t take rejection well.
now, my sister is the type to roll up on a dude and just start talking. but she’ll flirt with a tree.
oh yeah, you know how we know most of y’all are flirting. you invade the F*CK out of our personal space..
@Panama Jackson, Mmm, this depends on where you’re standing. If you’re at a crowded bar, I’ll just strike up a conversation with you so that you’ll give me room to order my drink.
@overit,
I know some women who really get off on telling their significant others about the random dudes that hit on them throughout the course of a given day. I never understood this concept. It’s funny to me cause trust that they always tell us about the ones that tried to holla that they didn’t like. They don’t say shyt about the ones who they actually DO like.
@Monk,
They don’t say shyt about the ones who they actually DO like.
bastards
@Monk,
Um, that’s because they want you to KNOW that there are men that want them. Do not want YOU to get too comfortable or take them for granted. And women never tell you about the ones they DO like…why? So you can get pissed that they didn’t mind? Because you know you would be, lol.
@Lady Chi,
Word. why the hell would I tell you about my potential next man?
haha, j/k (sorta)
@Me fail english?,
LMAO. I know right.
@overit,
I agree. I’ve been accused of flirting with men, women, children, old ninjas, cats, all types of isht. No negro. Its called making eye contact and smiling. Ya kno? Like how regular humans communicate!
@Me fail english?, stop flirting.
@Panama Jackson,
lol. I used to work in sales. I think it sometimes just seeps into my convos as my way of making ppl feel comfortable around me.
@Me fail english?, so you admit it.
@Panama Jackson,
No.
I was not flirting with that Girl Scout. And I didnt plan on making my bf jealous buying those cookies. I really just smile, make eye contact and (try to) remember the names of everyone I speak to. It’s not my fault she thinks I’m sexy.
@Me fail english?,
the eye contact and the smiling messes me up every time. Just cuz I acknowledge your presence doesn’t mean I want to get to know that presence. Thanks.
@Selah,
stop playing
@The Champ,
LOL! So i’m supposed to what? Walk around with a frown on my face? Growl at men that I’m not interested in? i’m just polite sheeeesh.
@The Champ,
Stop acting brand new. Smiling at folks doesn’t equal flirting. If that were the case, the baby in the stroller thinks I want him to put a ring on it just because I acknowledged him. Smiling is acknowledgement. Smiling with bedroom eyes is something else. Ya’ll must decipher the two. Too bad.
@Selah,
Exactly! And then when we grimace we’re some “angry black women”. Smile, and we’re being frisky.
Everytime we move we lose.
@me fail english,
Everytime we move we lose.
which is why barefoot and pregnant still remains the best move
@Me fail english?, thank you! i wasn’t feeling that particular point cause i’ve had the same experience. i like talking to people, smiling, and i cannot tell you how many times my brand of communication has been interpreted as flirting/making moves.
@Me fail english?,
Word. This whole flirting business can get out of hand I promise. It’s almost like people expect you to mean-mug everyday. Can’t help it if I like to smile. Geesh!
@Me fail english?,
I’m still confused by this. I always assume a woman smiling is happy or that is just her demeanor. Then I get knocked for not recognizing a smile and a SMILE from a woman I don’t know.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
Yeah, I dunno the secret formula for when a smile is just a smile as opposed to an invitation to get my #. Im not even sure about the subtle differences in the signals I give off.
I just happen to be a woman who talks too much and smiles a lot.
I might catch some flack for saying this but after a certain … Say around 23-25ish and you still find yourself being put into the friend zone you deserve it! I think by the time every male has reached that age range, you should have been schooled to the game … Or at least part of it
@Eff yo couch, i think that works in theory. but you know, you can’t always be sure when you’re being put in the friend zone. hell, i’ve put chicks in the friend zone and not even realized it until i asked them to come clean my kitchen…
…and they did it and i was like, you’re such a good friend.
@Panama Jackson,
you can’t always be sure when you’re being put in the friend zone.
This verifies Eff yo couch’s theory… If you don’t know it, then you’re lame. End of story.
@Sula, verify deez.
@Eff yo couch,
Say around 23-25ish and you still find yourself being put into the friend zone you deserve it! I think by the time every male has reached that age range, you should have been schooled to the game
How so? I’m well versed in the game, starting pg in fact, and it still happens to me. (Though a lot less than when I was 20 granted) Unless your name is Pimpin Ken, It Can Happen To You (PSA voice)
@Tone Capone,
I think what’s complex about the friend zone is sometimes it takes a while for a dude to get friend zoned. I know dudes like to say “women know in the first 5 mins if they’re humping or not”. But that ish just aint true. At least not for me.
If it takes me til the 3rd date to figure out you’re a ho-bag, a whiner, or just fakin jacks (takin em back!) in general a potential romance can get banished to the FZ indefinitely.
@Me fail english?, well, the great I-N-I teaches that brothers that fake jax get laid on their backs. now, in the song they were talking getting clapped back and sh*t, but i’m gonna make it sound like women often sleep with dudes who are faking the funk anyway.
i really just wanted to shout out I-N-I b/c Pete Rock produced them and Grap Luva is my homeboy.
@Tone Capone,
Well in all honesty because you should know from early on whether or not you gonna be given a chance to get game action. Maybe not the first date or whatever, but seriously a month later you still ain’t so much as kissed her and she ask you to go grocery shopping with her because “its more fun with someone”, you in the friendzone buddy. Shouldn’t be happening to an experienced dude.
@Tone Capone,
welcome and sh*t
@Eff yo couch,
you know, i actually agree. all of my friend zone experience happened in college. once i graduated though, if i was feeling a chick and she wasn’t interested, then i just stopped dealing with her.
basically, you can still get “friend-zoned”, but you shouldn’t stay there anymore.
@The Champ,
Yes. I place this blame of the dudes post-undergrad. Alot of times, you may be filed in that ‘d*kc in a glass’ category. You get that 2:23 a.m. phone call that goes like this:
Me: Hello?
Her: It’s hot. I think my air is broke.
Me: You should call someone in the morning.
Her: I was actually hoping you could come over.
Me: How hot is it?
Her: I don’t have any clothes on.
Me: I’m on the way
Bond.
@BlkBond,
lol. This sounds like the beginning of a porn “plot”. I can hear the cheesy music now.
me new here… so what’s/who the 2520 people? been trying to deduce meaning from previous posts and shit but it is used often in many ways, shapes, forms…(section of DC? priviliged?, celebs, what? I wanna be informed!
@Caramel Eclair,
2520 – White folk
@Caramel Eclair, all sections of DC.
First of all, I’m mad that Bobby Brown has warranted any sympathy from the brotherhood or that he’s being crowned a prophet. Am I on the right website?
I don’t actively keep friend-zoned guys around, but if one happens to linger it’s usually his own doing. I make it plain when I’m not interested, and not in a cruel fashion. I could tell a story that involved door to door waffle house service at 3 a.m. from a ‘friend’, but I won’t. It’s too sad.
However, I am guilty of asking loaded questions, but this isn’t limited to men. I ask everyone loaded questions. That’s just what I do. I like to ask things I probably don’t want to know the answer to because I constantly dare myself to hear the answers to random questions from a person who doesn’t have their censor turned on. The problem is I usually shy from (i.e. quit) people who lack tact and/or diplomacy. This practice probably makes me a masochist, but it makes for good writing.
With regards to #3 and #4- attached men have cooties and women that dance/laugh/flirt while attached have cooties too.
p.s.- i like the word cooties.
Bottom line: There are a few misguided females who didn’t attend the good girl meetings, and who are misrepresenting the rest of us. *single tear*
@Miss Patterson,
Flirting is not bad. A simple smile can be flirting. People lust, its normal. Just as long as you don’t act on it.
*hopes comment brings Miss Patterson to the dark side*
@chaoticdiva,
mwaaa haa haa
@chaoticdiva,
I agree. Though I am not a fan of a woman flirting with my man. As long as she doesn’t cross the line of being ALL up on him and he starts giggling like the Champ at breakfast, then it’s alllll good . lol!
I think flirting is human nature and attached or not, it’s fun.
@chaoticdiva,
*hopes comment brings Miss Patterson to the dark side*
she’s already there
@Miss Patterson, “There are a few misguided females who didn’t attend the good girl meetings, and who are misrepresenting the rest of us. *single tear*”
SAY THAT
@Miss Patterson, First of all, I’m mad that Bobby Brown has warranted any sympathy from the brotherhood or that he’s being crowned a prophet. Am I on the right website?
Respect the Brown. He’s the 3rd most important man in pop culture since Henry VIII.
@Miss Patterson,
Door to door waffle house service?!? Who ARE these guys!!
See, this is why women think they can always have their way. These lames are messing up the game by spending change without getting laid (**Kenny Red Voice**)
Bond. BlkBond.
@BlkBond,
I’m intrigued also.
@Miss Patterson, please share the story. I wanna write this in my notebook.
@miss t-lee, hee, hee, hee….no.
@Miss Patterson,
*shakes fist*
LOL
It’s all good, I understand…you can’t be giving out all your secrets.
Either you got it, or you don’t.
@miss t-lee,
i wanna hear it just so i can think about waffles
Whoa. I think I’ve done all of these except knowingly flirt with an attached man (if he’s an ex and he’s got a new girl, I do flirt, he he, so I guess I’ve done that, too). Oh well.
If the guy is put into any of these positions, it’s his fault.
Especially the friend zone and mackin’ a woman all night only to learn she has a boyfriend.
Dudes you KNOW when you are in the friend zone. You know. She ain’t doin’ nuthin to you that you haven’t signed up for.
Re: “the boyfriend’: guys will never learn that women mostly go out to socialize, NOT get laid. So we will talk up someone all night with no thought of exchanging digits. While we are refreshed by convo with a new person, he is planning a way to close the deal. Y’all should know better by now. We can and often will talk to anybody. lol.
@V.E.G., “the boyfriend’: guys will never learn that women mostly go out to socialize, NOT get laid. So we will talk up someone all night with no thought of exchanging digits. ”
EXACTLY… because as Chris Rock basically said, we get offered the D everywhere we turn… what makes yours(“club guy”) so special?
@V.E.G., So we will talk up someone all night with no thought of exchanging digits.
if you’re in the club, this is wrong. you’re are intentionally violating club law. i should have implemented this in my own club, male and female club law violaters should be banned.
by monopolizing all my time b/c you’re enjoying the nice refreshing conversation, you are selfishly reducing the amount of time i have to meet somebody else who might actually be interested in talking to me once we leave whatever venue we’re at. you know good and well you’re not going to speak to me again, so why continue to speak to me now?
give us free so we can go find some other drunk chick to “get to know.”
@Panama Jackson,
Yall can get free on yalls own. Aint nobody cuffin you to the bar and makin you talk to the woman. I love how men make up these silent rules and just expect folks to not only read their minds, but comply with said rules.
New rule for the club: Whether or not you have the number, vacate the area by time the next song is on.
@Me fail english?, slow down kimo. first off, if we’re in the midst of an interesting converstaion that we’re both enjoying, why would i roll out? i’m talking to you for the length of the “get me bodied (extended play)” b/c i’m interested and you seem to be as well. so if we’ spend the old school segment talking and then i’m like, “you know, i’d really like to spend more time getting to know you” and you’re like…”naw, i’m good…my man wouldn’t approve” you are indeed a jackass.
ESPECIALLY since you know good and well what’s coming. you can’t possibly be surprised. you’re just enjoying the convo and don’t want it to end, which you know will happen if you say, “i have a man” if dude is decent – which he probably is b/c you’re talking to him so long.
why am i gonna free myself from something that seems worth of chaining myself too?
now, what would be funny is if he was, “oh girl, i got a woman too. i was hoping you’d be up for a cheating thing!”
@Panama Jackson,
You’re right. It would make me a jackass. I just dont get why it takes yall so long to get to that question. Esp. in a loud asz nightclub that’s not conducive to a long convo, no matter how good a topic.
Im just sayin the best way to avoid this is quit yer yappin. Even if Im really feeling a dude I dont want him on me all nite. Sheit, I even walk away from my boyfriend when we go out sometimes.
I wanna be free!
@Panama Jackson,
“so if we’ spend the old school segment talking and then i’m like, “you know, i’d really like to spend more time getting to know you” and you’re like…”naw, i’m good…my man wouldn’t approve” you are indeed a jackass. ”
Absolutely
“now, what would be funny is if he was, “oh girl, i got a woman too. i was hoping you’d be up for a cheating thing!””
Funny indeed . . .
@Panama Jackson,
that extended version is long as sh*t.
@Panama Jackson,
Hol’ up. I take that back. That does NOT make the woman the jackass. You got your agenda (to get the #) and I got mine (to run my mouf). Just cuz I got mines and you didnt, dont be salty.
@Me fail english?,
If you love how men make up rules, it’s because it reminds you of what you ladies like to do….
Takes one to know one.
@Big Man,
You started it! *points accusingly*
@Me fail english?,
1 song minimum for conversation purposes. Unless that conversation involves words like ‘snowballing’, ‘bukkake’, ‘me, you, and my girlfriend the Christina Milian doppelganger’
Bond.
@BlkBond,
word? bukkake though?
You caught that too Happy Meal?! LMAO
I wanna know how that just randomly pops up in a convo…ha!
@V.E.G.,
Whoa. I think I’ve done all of these except knowingly flirt with an attached man (if he’s an ex and he’s got a new girl, I do flirt, he he, so I guess I’ve done that, too). Oh well.
bastard
@V.E.G.,
this is all true. Game recognize game. Your font is vicious…
Bond.
@V.E.G.,
As usual, I wholeheartedly concur. Gospel!
Hold up! FLAG on the play, blastphemy and nukka you smokin’. Yeah, we women ALL noticed your “not so subtle” verbiage in indicating you men are the victims. Get the f*ck outta here with that nonsense Champale, cause you know damn well WE are the victims of your (as men) cleverly disguised game playing – whether you choose to admit it or not.
Thinking women are “cruel” is only a state of mind for the weak-minded man. WORD.
“Friend Zone” guys are only there because they haven’t realized that women LOVE to have platonic male friends. It’s not our fault that you put yourselves on the sideline when you coulda had a touchdown – your fault.
“Flirting with happily attached men” – so what. You have TWO heads, use the one that THINKS, and there will be no problems. See it, and don’t see it – bottom line.
“The Boyfriend” schtick only means your game was too weak to hold the attention of a potential mate/jump-off – again – YOUR fault – step it up.
“The Loaded Question” is a given, and it’s distributed evenly by BOTH sexes – just a silly game we HUMANS play. It’s lame and tiresome, yes I know, but it’s a fact of life. You see, curiosity killed the cat, but since there’s SO many cats in the world no one believes it, so the curiosity will continue til the end of time – ESPECIALLY the kind that can get you caught up, so as to put the REAL you out there. Hence the “loaded question”.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops,
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think PANAMA wrote this post, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops, what’s that supposed to mean, pork girl?
@Panama Jackson,
it means this post is on some flammable type ish. I mean Bobby Brown – a victim???? and well, you’re the arsonist.
hmmm. that made sense in my head.
@Selah, he is a victim. just think of how great he could have been if he’d never met Whitney and she hadn’t put that line of coke on his favorite Gem & The Rockstars mirror.
since then, every little step he’s taken has need to be towards rehab.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops, “It’s not our fault that you put yourselves on the sideline when you coulda had a touchdown – your fault.”
DAYUM that was a brilliant football reference.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Actually it was weak and barely sensible lol
@Dorian G.,
lol, yeah it was.
redbeanz and grits should leave the sports analogy making to the professionals
@Nicki Sunshine, yeah, i’m with Dorian, it was pretty terrible actually.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO. I heart you guys.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops,
“Thinking women are “cruel” is only a state of mind for the weak-minded man. WORD.”
Are you implying that there aren’t some women out there who are cruel? Sugar and spice and everything nice? Yeah, right..
@Monk,
everyone can be cruel. depends on the sitch. If you aren’t lame, you probably won’t elicit a cruel response. lol
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops,
“You see, curiosity killed the cat, but since there’s SO many cats in the world no one believes it,”
Now is it me? Or is it…
haha, this is very Panama-esque
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops, this comment has Republican written all over it.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops,
“Flirting with happily attached men” – so what. You have TWO heads, use the one that THINKS, and there will be no problems. See it, and don’t see it – bottom line.
wait…my other head thinks??? i thought it was just a cool place to put my glasses
@RedBeanzNRice w/Poak Chops,
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think PANAMA wrote this post, lol.
know deez
***i was gonna type “panama deez”, until i realized that it had the potential to create a new gay percentage threshold. ***
@V.E.G.
ohhhh! got it and thanks! and LMMFAO! tahehehe! now gotta go back and re-read all posts with 2520…(not! but thought about it…) thanks again!
@chaoticdiva
I know what you mean about “friend zone” This one dude was like crushed when I started dating sum1 else…but I had clearly said these words”I think we should just be friends” albeit they were folowed by I’m really busy, preparing to go back to school working on that CRNA and trying to work, and I think you’re a great guy, just not for me….apparently all he heard was “I’m a great guy and after you are done with all that i’m in there”…I felt horrible but I know I said “we should be just be friends” and there was no hanging out running errands and shit cause when called to do/ask those things I respectfully declined…but nonetheless I felt bad for some reason…but i’m sticking by my original statement…women are not cruel…men are stewpid!
@Caramel Eclair,
i’m also sticking with my original statement
bastard
@Caramel Eclair,
Oh, you are cruel. Is it really that hard to tell someone “I am not interested” or “let’s just be friends”.
Notice nothing else follows that statement. No, “because I’m really busy now, my mother just died, my uncle is sick and I have to take care of him. I hate people who do things like that because it shows that not only were they not interested at all, but also they have so little respect for me, they’re going to attempt to feed me white lies like I’m some little kid.
@Caramel Eclair,
Saying “Let’s just be friends, I’ve got too much on my plate” is really saying “If I didn’t have so much on my plate, we’d be more than friends” or “If we met a few months from now when I’m no longer so busy, it would work”.
Think about it, if you ask someone to take out the trash, and they say, “Not now, I’ve got a paper to finish writing” do you take that as “I’m never taking out the trash” or “I’ll take out the trash after I finish the paper?”
Damn, Champ, you gave these girls permission to really sling some mud…I’m seeing the ugly side of every VSS’s personality in this post.
What I got so far:
-The friend zone’s twin is stringing dudes along. Daring to still go out with his *ss just so he can spend cash on her knowing she’s already decided he ain’t in there.
-Not being afraid to get out of pockety in ways they DARE a male to around them. Being rude as hell texting on dates, talking on the phone in the car, drinking before seeing him, going thru his things, brutal honesty, leaving trash in his car, etc.
-Being a d*ck tease–pretty self explanatory.
-All that classic club sh*t, like dancing in a circle, the unpicked friends openly sizing the dude up, expecting the guy to buy her whole crew drinks and more…
-Going to the religious card when it’s convenient. An especially foul d*ck tease unleashed by chicks that have a thing for heaving, glittery cleavage.
-Pregnancy scares involving money–ask an athlete.
-Putting a man under conditional relationship pressures. These tends to be sex-related, e.g. you can eat her box no problem but only her man gets brain, gun to the head about marriage, withholding sex inside of the marriage, stuff like that.
Women can be type-foul when a man really thinks about it.
BTW, f*ck and that, I stick and move when it comes to the pick-up, the boyfriend/husband question is out of the way within 120 seconds of knowing her name.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“I’m seeing the ugly side of every VSS’s personality in this post.”
Don’t act like every VSB doesn’t have his own ugly side.
People are flawed and, if there aren’t any boundaries set, will do what you allow them to do to you. Even basically GOOD people will do this.
@V.E.G., i aint flawed. speak for yourself. i’m sexxy.
@Panama Jackson,
Boy..you a 3!
@Smiley Face, sexxiest damn 3 you know. lol.
@V.E.G.,
flaw deez
@The Champ,
From what I’ve heard, they already are…
@Cheekie,
Alley oop. ZING!
@Cheekie,
aw dayum!! bwahahahahahahaha!!
@V.E.G.,
When women start admitting flaws outside of the internet, I’ll start cutting y’all some slack. As long as y’all on this superwoman/God’s gift to man kick in real life, I’m going hard.
@Big Man,
“I’m going hard.”…no, not really, chances are, you won’t at all…
@Smiley Face,
SNAP!
@Big Man,
You need to meet more women. Basically, you need the republic of Malaysia worth of more people.
@Sula & Smiley Face,
xMe Fail
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“leaving trash in his car”
Haha. This isnt cruel, this is just dirty and shows lack of home training.
And I agree with VEG. Men string women along about plenty (is she getting the ring?, can she be more than his jumpoff? etc.). Dont worry, I place as much blame on the women in those situations as I do on the men in these situations.
We all get played/play ourselves/play others. Such is life.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
lol, damn. you got all serious and sh*t. this stuff aint just cruel, its grounds for assassination.
@The Champ, my current is generally warm when I write this stuff…but the fact stuff like this actually gets pulled by women on the reg needs to be told with the gravitas it deserves.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
alot of that stuff is a given (**shrugs**). There are a few stand up women, but by and large it is what it is.
This is not completely their fault though, there are guys who perpetuate this behavior (door to door Waffle house service?!?!), so it’s like in high school the freshman/sophomore from around the block who lets you make smoothies on her face…what is permitted becomes your reality.
Bond.
@BlkBond,
(door to door Waffle house service?!?!),
This tidbit is really grinding your gears, ain’t it? Lol!
Miss Patterson, please put a brother
and this sisterout of misery and just tell the story…@Sula,
Yeah, because I honesty can’t fathom a grown man so whipped he not only buying the food, he is waiting on the prep, driving to another place (likely he will not be long, lol) and delivering it, only to turn around and return to his residence singing “Why Must I Cry?” by Reh Dogg. Enlighten. Me. PLEASE.
Bond.
@BlkBond,
Not the Reh Dogg…hahhahha
@BlkBond, I don’t disagree and sh*t…
IT’s yaw’s (read: the menses) fault. j/k. And Bobby brought the crack.
#1: Some men just want to stick around and being the friend will do.
#2: Only unconfident women ask those questions and expect you to lie to them.
#3: Men have a knack for confusing everyday conversation and charm with “flirting.”
#4: If we upfront tell yaw that we have a man, the response is, “I didn’t ask you anything about him….” So we wait for the opportunity to come up.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“#2: Only unconfident women ask those questions and expect you to lie to them.”
LOL! I like to hear a man try to come up with an intelligible answer. The sweat and fidgeting of hands is quite funny.
@Ivy St., “LOL! I like to hear a man try to come up with an intelligible answer. The sweat and fidgeting of hands is quite funny.”
LMAO!!!!! They are so funny when they fumble… what about when they try to buy more time and say, “huh?” Or answer your question with a question.
@Nicki Sunshine,
LMAO! I love it. Though my bf has gotten better. He’s no fun anymore. He either pretends to not hear the question, notice the woman or just stays silent long enough for me to lose interest.
@Ivy St., He has adapted.. that’s too funny!
@Ivy St.,
sounds like a genius
@Nicki Sunshine,
it won’t crack… it was rock cocaine *side-eye* , lol
@Naturally Alise,
hahahhahahhaah
Why did my homegirl and I have a conversation last week about that? We were like “did I miss something or is Whitney talking that good BS talking about “rock cocaine?”
Call it what it was Whitney…
@miss t-lee, i didn’t see the interview, but i saw that particular clip and i was like uh…you mean crack? as in ‘crack is wack’? rock cocaine…GTFOH!
@Miss Patterson,
LMAO She went back on her own words!!!
@Naturally Alise, ***Showmedemreceipts*** lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
“#1: Some men just want to stick around and being the friend will do.”
Now that you mention this, I think some friend zone dudes jus be sleazy and deserve to get got. Why the hell are you steady circling my carcass waiting to move in for the kill? Effin vultures! I swear some of em are just waiting for a moment of vulnerability so they can swoop down on it. And for that act of prideless desperation I sentence you to a year’s worth of dinners, rides to wherever I go and maintenance of my car and home.
Court’s adjourned.
@Me fail english?, “Why the hell are you steady circling my carcass waiting to move in for the kill”
YESSSS! Waiting to be the crying shoulder/clean up man.
I see right through it. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
Im saying, dont tell me we ‘just friends’ then call me more than I call you, ask me to go to Maxwell concerts and dbl dates with ya moms. WTF is that!! (tru story)
Cant tell you how many times I heard a girl say “oh we’re just friends” about a dude then 2wks later they’re playing hide the sausage…..
My theory: We treat the girl we have the crush on wayyyyyyy better that the potential j.o.. Thus, we end up looking like the lame nice guy instead of cool, mysterious, cat that never calls….and we all know which one get the girls… hehe
@Tone Capone, I’ve been there with men. My experience says: Always go by what they say, DAYUM how they treat you/ act….
Dont’ fall for it!
@Nicki Sunshine,
YESSSS! Waiting to be the crying shoulder/clean up man.
i prefer to call it “the pinch-hitter”
@The Champ, LMAO.. it’s a sneaky ass role.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Willie D made a song about it called “Clean Up Man”.
Check, check it.
@Me fail english?, at least dudes just lie in wait…friend zone chicks will try to sabotage your current relationship.
i swear all women read “art of war” at like age 10. it comes with y’alls first training bra or something.
@Panama Jackson,
i swear all women read “art of war” at like age 10. it comes with y’alls first training bra or something.
i agree. i actually think it starts at the sandbox, when they ask for a bite of our ice cream sandwiches and then throw it in the sand.
@Panama Jackson, ***adding “art of war” to must read novel list***
@Me fail english?, lol, i love you. so true, so many of my guy friends have told me how they will stick around for a moment of weakness.
animals!
@overit,
yea those are the phone calls and texts I stop responding to…nobody wants to feel like they gon get pounced on if they stop at the watering hole for a drink..
@Me fail english?,
*high five*
If you’re willing to get into the jungle and hunt, then prepare to get offed by someone higher on the food chain. Badda bing.
@Cheekie,
If you’re willing to get into the jungle and hunt, then prepare to get offed by someone higher on the food chain. Badda bing.
Badda bang. The gospel is being preached from the mountain tops today.
@Nicki Sunshine,
…And Bobby brought the crack
And Whitney b0ught the cocaine…cuz she thought crack was wack…
@K to the…, LMAO!
1. You get stuck in the friend zone because I’m trying to be nice and not get labeled with the “Sista’s don’t appreciate a good black man” title. (An aside – I saw a part of Diary of a Tired Black Man movie and it is a tired @ss movie. ) And it’s always the extra-regular dudes. (More on that another day.)
2. Um. Yeah. Not my thing. Next.
3. Conversation and compliments do not equal come-ons (from men or women.) I have made it a habit to say to guys that I converse with randomly “I’m not trying to come on to you. I just wanted you to know that insert compliment here” (e.g. I think you look nice or You smell nice or I am digging this all over sexy vibe you got going on.)
4. I’m not going to spend ALL night talking to a dude if I have a man. If I don’t have a man, I’m not going to spend all night talking to an extra-regular dude who would automatically qualify for the FZ. (H#ll, even I am not THAT nice.)
@SexyCool,
“(An aside – I saw a part of Diary of a Tired Black Man movie and it is a tired @ss movie. ) And it’s always the extra-regular dudes. (More on that another day.)”
That movie was completely asstastic, and so over the top. They shoulda stuck with the “man on the street” interviews, that was way more entertaining.
@miss t-lee,
I couldn’t even watch the whole thing. It was a HAM.
@SexyCool,
Oh…c’mon chick. You gotta watch all of it. So you can be completely disgusted…haha!!
@miss t-lee,
I was thinking of watching that movie because from the trailers ALONE, it looks like one of those unintentional comedies where you’re laughing at the faulty/cheap production instead of whatever jokes they have in the film.
@Cheekie,
My homegirl rented it and she was so heated that she was like…you gotta watch this ish.
So I did, and I agreed with her, it was wacktacular.
I mean, it had some valid points, they were all lost on me. Whiny men turn me off as it is.
@miss t-lee,
lol. I never even heard of this ish. *hands in black card*
@Me fail english?,
It’s an indie film.
Google it, watch it, and report back.
@SexyCool, ““I’m not trying to come on to you. I just wanted you to know that insert compliment here” (e.g. I think you look nice or You smell nice or I am digging this all over sexy vibe you got going on.)”
Umm, how exactly do you ‘come on’ to men? If random comments about sexy vibes isn’t an invitation then what is…??
@Omar,
I don’t know, Omar. But oddly, it works.
@Omar,
Oh…and one more thing…just cause I think a dude is sexy doesn’t mean I want to sleep with him or even get to know him better.
H3ll, if I actually wanted to have sex all the dudes that I think are sexy, I would get ridden more than the #7 Downtown.
@Omar,
Umm, how exactly do you ‘come on’ to men? If random comments about sexy vibes isn’t an invitation then what is…??
lol, i was wondering the same thing. maybe her way of saying “i’m coming on to you” is random spontaneous fellatio. she might just be forward like that
@The Champ/Omar,
I LIKE complimenting guys that I think are sexy, attractive, have a nice smile, smell good and so on.
FOR ME, nine times out of ten, I just want to tell you THAT and keep it moving. I don’t want to know your name, how many kids you got, where you work, your opinion on Obama’s healthcare plan. I just want to tell you ya’ look’n good. I’m just expressive like that.
@SexyCool,
I agree. I give ppl compliments cuz it puts smiles on faces. Men are the only ones who get all crazy wit it. Tell em they smell good and they want the Axe treatment. FOH!
@SexyCool,
I co-sign. I do this to women all the time. In this day and age, I have began to insert the ‘disclaimer’ as noted above. People are so emotional, everyone is a star or sex symbol.
Bond.
@The Champ,
I’m not trying to come onto you, but the way you express yourself with such well thought out posts, outrageous humor and sht, and your engaging personality is sexy as h3ll to me.
@SexyCool,
thanks and sh*t.
you’re still a bastard though
@SexyCool,
(An aside – I saw a part of Diary of a Tired Black Man movie and it is a tired @ss movie. ) And it’s always the extra-regular dudes. (More on that another day.
you actually watched that sh*t? the trailer alone was cheesier than a yeast infection
@The Champ,
I was trying to be open minded. I got about 15 minutes into it and starting seizing.
@The Champ,
the trailer alone was cheesier than a yeast infection
*dry heave*
@miss t-lee,
“the trailer alone was cheesier than a yeast infection”
STOP! LOL
I’m sure men hate it
when their gf makes them watch movies that can be considered “chick flicky.”
or
Forcing them to Attend an event at one of their friend’s place that they dislike. I personally find this one to be the most humorous.
@Ivy St., i dont mind romantic comedies. usually b/c they have at least one hot chick in there specficially to keep men there.
10 extra points if the hot chick is jessica biel. she made “chuck & larry” rewatchable.
@Panama Jackson,
10 extra points if the hot chick is jessica biel. she made “chuck & larry” rewatchable.
and 100 negative points if the movie is “obsessed”.
@The Champ, that was a plenty terrible movie. and it wasn’t beyonce’s fault as every woman was saying. it was just a really bad movie.
period. it wasn’t enjoyable or well thought out. best part of that movie was the ending credits.
@The Champ,
I agree “Obsessed” was not the best movie ever. Then again Idris was making an appearance so I HAD to give it a try.
@Ivy St.,
Idris was the ONLY reason I sat through that farce of a movie. I’m just glad I watched it on bootleg at my homegirls and didn’t pay any money to see it.
@miss t-lee,
Yes ma’am!!
@miss t-lee,
“Idris was the ONLY reason I sat through that farce of a movie. ”
Cosigned by Cheekie.
“flirting with happily attached men.”
It’s safe!
@Ivy St., thats why i think the strip club is a man’s safe haven.
in most states, you’re not supposed to touch the chicks.
@Panama Jackson, strip club=human zoo
@overit,
BWAHAHAHA!
Instead of a sign that says “Please don’t feed the animals”, it’s “Please don’t touch the skrippers”.
@Cheekie,
lol, at the last strip club at went to, the dj actually TOLD us to fondle the strippers and, if your money’s right, you can do much more than fondle. mind you, this “strip club” was luvvie’s basement and the “dj” was a t-pain cd, but still.
@Champ,
*dead*
@Champ,
*Mr. Bill Face*
Shots fired!
@Champ,
LOL. Jerk! Im literally laughing out loud.
@The Champ
I had to come out of Lurkerville for that one.
D@mn! You went HARD. *daps*
**waiting for next bus back to Lurkerville**
@Champ,
iHatechu w/ the intensity of that “burning situation” u got since last time you “Deezed” that girl in the strip club.
@BBMo,
I was JUS’ wondering where you been. Oh you went to Lurkerville? How are the locals?
Miss ya, girl.
This is a great post. I think I’ve done all of them. Then again, I wouldn’t really call myself a nice person.
#1. First of all if you’re in the FZ, I let you know you’re in the FZ. If you choose to stick around, that’s all on you buddy boy. If you’re coming over to fix my car, move heavy furniture,
give me a foot massageand all that other good stuff out of the goodness of your heart, who am I to stop you? *snickering*#2. I love asking questions that there is no reasonable answer to, but then again…so do you guys. I never ask the “do I look fat question?” First of all I’m a proud team chunk member, my fat azz and I have been friends for a long time…I don’t need your opinion.
#3. Although I don’t seek out attached kats to flirt with, I’ve been told I am a flirt. Maybe it’s the way I talk, or laugh when I’m talking to you. I didn’t mean to give you false hope, I’m just being nice. You should be happy, it’s a rare ocassion that I even talk to kats I have no interest in.
#4. Going back to#3…if I’m attached, I won’t be giving out false hope, it will be known from jump that you don’t stand a chance and that I am taken…lol
@miss t-lee,
This is a great post. I think I’ve done all of them. Then again, I wouldn’t really call myself a nice person.
lol, this made me literally laugh aloud. thanks
@The Champ,
*curtsies*
@miss t-lee,
See, this is why we see eye to eye. AYE!
Bond.
@BlkBond,
LOL–scary huh?
Aye!!!
@miss t-lee,
If you’re coming over to fix my car, move heavy furniture, give me a foot massage and all that other good stuff out of the goodness of your heart, who am I to stop you?
Right? Right? It just wouldn’t be nice to deprive my fellow man from his god-given right to be kindhearted…
@Sula,
Yes ma’am.
What’chall mad about?
1. Man UP..you act you’re on rotation or something. Either keep your tail on the bench or become a free agent…very simple, I can’t make you do anything, you choose to stay there.
2. I grew u p with 7 brothers…I know how that game goes, lol
3. For real? LOL..”Nice Tie” means ‘nice tie’ not ‘I wonder how you’d look tied to my bed wearing nothing but that nice tie.’
4. Half of y’all don’t even pay attention to “I have a boyfriend” and I you do the inevitable “Can you have friends?” question comes about which leads your @zz back to #1..being friend zoned…see, it’s your fault, lol.
@Smiley Face,
“4. Half of y’all don’t even pay attention to “I have a boyfriend” and I you do the inevitable “Can you have friends?” question comes about which leads your @zz back to #1..being friend zoned…see, it’s your fault, lol.”
Scientific fact!!
I just got approached by this grimy looking nicca, asking for my digits. Naturally, I lied and said I have a boyfriend (how he know? I’m good at it.) and his response was — and I quote — “That’s ok, he ain’t gotta know ’bout us”.
What…in thee…F*ck.
HAHA. NEXT! Even if I were remotely interested in you, now I know what you’ll do to ME in the hypothetical future…in just a span of 10 seconds.
@Cheekie,
Exactly…I’ve heard that line too many times.
What I look like fallin’ for that ish?
@Cheekie,
What’s more, if you were even remotely interested in him, does he really think you’d just offer up that info? Move along!
@Cheekie,
For serious!! LMAO!
@Smiley Face,
For real? LOL..”Nice Tie” means ‘nice tie’ not ‘I wonder how you’d look tied to my bed wearing nothing but that nice tie.
thing is, “nice tie” is very similar to the swahili word “nicetay”, which is roughly translated to “i wanna ride you”, so you can’t blame an educated black man for getting confused
@The Champ,
o_O…boy… just …o_O
I personally can’t relate to being in the friend zone. I always answer questions straight up, because I don’t really care how she takes the answer. I’m not attached and I really don’t care if she has a man or not. As long as she doesn’t have a husband, not a hubby, a REAL HUSBAND, I could care less.
What I don’t like are women who come over at 1am, rubbing, grinding, etc…. then tell you they’re on their period. B*tch, get out.
@undressingHER,
yea that is kinda grimy
@undressingHER,
“What I don’t like are women who come over at 1am, rubbing, grinding, etc…. then tell you they’re on their period. B*tch, get out.”
AHAHAHAHA…That’s bogus AND gross.
And props to you for asking questions straight up. I can’t believe an adult man who has been through a lot of experiences with women, wouldn’t. If you don’t…then you should slap a Little Joker card on your forehead, for real.
@undressingHER,
What I don’t like are women who come over at 1am, rubbing, grinding, etc…. then tell you they’re on their period. B*tch, get out.
there’s nothing worse than the coitusless couch cuddle
This post is so on point!
@afterthought,
thanks and sh*t, afterthought
This post is hilarious to me, because I do none of the things listed…anymore. You see I know I may be a tad bit older than most of the reg posters here @ 35, with age comes experience, and hopefully with experience comes wisdom. “Life is for learning and the purpose is joining up with the Lord” to quote the wonderfully marvelous Mr.Gaye (RIP)…
I don’t keep random dudes around, altho that used to be all that I hung out with pretty much in my youth, but as I got older it became harder to maintian these friendships because someone either caught feelings, wanted to smash or just simply wnated to be more than friends…another reason by keeping so many roosters around, you may be blocking the chief rooster, males are territorial, he may look at you suspect for having so many cocks around, as he should LMAO
I never ask questions I really don’t want to know the answers to, just no bueno…..
I don’t enteratin happily attached men by allowing too much conversation or closeness to me person etc..just out of respect for his woman and myself. No need to give anyone the wrong idea just off being cool cause it can and does go that way…. no bueno
#4 is just stupid and is the reverse of #3..if I have a man I respect him in and out of his presence and ki ki-ing all like that with some dude isn’t exactly respectful..if you wouldn;t do it in front of your S/O that ought to be a clue…..
@OrangeStar616,
This post is hilarious to me, because I do none of the things listed…anymore
you’re still a bastard
@The Champ, LLS hey but even when I did do them, I think it was out of innocence and naivete not manipulation or malice etc..thats who Kerry Washington was in that role pictured above, a manipulator, very ugly and empty inside, a selfish user etc
@OrangeStar616,
Guess this is why lately I have been enticed by and with women a few years older than me. Co-sign completely.
Bond. BlkBond.
@OrangeStar616,
*shooting gold stars* all up and through this. and if i’m still a bastard, i’ll bee dat. i fux with redman anyway…
Fellas, I was told if you want to get out of the FZ then holla at the woman’s friend(s). It works. Regardless of what happens with the friend(s) you’ll definitely be out of the FZ.
@Kamala Jones, yeah he’ll be out of the friend zone and right on out of scope too LOL…….tricks are for kids!!!
@OrangeStar616,
Was such a guy ever in scope?
@Kamala Jones, not really but maybe you kicked idea around now its N/A LMAO
@Kamala Jones,
I would gladly donate some of my FZ’ers to my friends if they would take ‘em.
@Kamala Jones,
“Fellas, I was told if you want to get out of the FZ then holla at the woman’s friend(s). ”
This is cruel of YA’LL, but it does work in a lot of cases. SMH.
@Kamala Jones,
lol. This probably works well on the women who want what they cant have AND dont like their friends.
For me, however, you’d be even further off the radar than before! I guess its worth a shot though. My friends may like you.
Forms of cruelty that comes to mind:
The unappreciative chick. As B.Brown so eloquently put it, “you never say ‘thanks’, girl, that ain’t right.” If a brotha opens the door for you, pick up the check, gives you a compliment, or any small effort in treating you like a lady, the least you can do is respond with a simple “thank you”. Contrary to what some women believe, you aren’t entitled to these courtesies especially if you’re not carrying yourself as a lady. Even a friggin’ smile or nod is enough if a brotha don’t let the door slam in your face.
The ‘My ex did this and that’ chick. If it’s one pet peeve that I have, it’s hearing about things that your exes used to do for you. That’s just plain cruel and pointless. No dude wants to always be hit with random a$$ anecdotes about what your past n*ggas used to do. I could care less that your ex-drug dealing a$$ boyfriend used to take you on shopping sprees and throw you cash all the time. If it was so great, get back wit’ that n*gga. Oh, I forgot..he’s locked up. Let the past be the past. Miss me with that.
@Monk,
Secenario #1. She ain’t cruel. She is common and unmannerable.
When I say “Thank You” to a random dude who held a door for me, it’s not an invitation to converse. It’s just “Thank You.”
Oh…and you don’t get a cookie for holding the door – all you get is the acknowledgement of your courtesy. I get tired of folk (men and women) expecting to get a pat on the head cause they did ish they are supposed to do.
(Monk – forgive me for ranting, I think I’m suffering some post traumatic stress from watching Diary of a Tired Black Man last night.)
@SexyCool,
“When I say “Thank You” to a random dude who held a door for me, it’s not an invitation to converse. It’s just “Thank You.” ”
Truth. Ya’ll want us to be courteous and whatnot, but sometimes ya’ll take advantage of the nicenessness*. The courtesy is just that, simple, not “Thanks for opening the door for me, I now what you to break my back tonight”. No, it’s simply, “Merci beaucoup, now be about your business”.
*Yes, that was intentional. Shout-out to Eva from ANTM.
@Cheekie, i’m sorry, but if the Naked Man works 2 out of 3 times, then there’s no reason not to try at least once or twice to see if a chick will let you hit for opening the door for her.
@Panama Jackson,
I see you watch How I Met Your Mother.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m not knocking you for trying, but don’t knock us for you failing. YOU took the risk…own up to it.
@Cheekie, own deez.
@Panama Jackson,
“own deez”
Fine, I guess so. They’re reduced price anyhow…
@Cheekie,
*dying…dying…dead…*
@Cheekie,
LMAO @ his bargain bin…”deez”
@me fail,
*dying* @ “Bargin Bin”
@Monk,
The ‘My ex did this and that’ chick.
Word. I HATE this. If he did this and that go F with him and leave me alone. Why do some women women do this? I don’t care what that man man did for you.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
That’s the not-so-bright woman’s approach to gettin a dude to step his game up (financially, commitment-wise, etc). Nevermind that if you aint still with dude ‘THAT’ is obviously not enough to keep yall together.
This post cracked me up!! I think I’ve done everything on the list but flirt with someone’s man (that is wrong on so many levels!!).
Here is my p.o.v. —- YOU CANT MAKE ANYBODY DO ANYTHING. If a man is silly enough to fall for any of the things you listed then it is his fault. THE SAME FOR A WOMEN who fall for the things that men do to us. And for those that repeatedly find themselves in these positions….YOU LIKE BEING THE VICTIM and need to address what it is about yourself that keeps you back in these situations!!
I know that some women are vicious and conniving and will try to use a man for her own purposes. I can only speak for myself when I say that when I did some of the things listed it was a defense mechanism. (Keep a man in “the friend zone” to really see what he is about and not move too fast and get hurt. )
@Yaa,
Here is my p.o.v. —- YOU CANT MAKE ANYBODY DO ANYTHING. If a man is silly enough to fall for any of the things you listed then it is his fault. THE SAME FOR A WOMEN who fall for the things that men do to us. And for those that repeatedly find themselves in these positions….YOU LIKE BEING THE VICTIM and need to address what it is about yourself that keeps you back in these situations
while this is all true, its also true that you’re cruel bastards.
@The Champ, TRUE LMAO!
:::heels click in:::
Okay, I’ll stop
:::heels click out:::
@Sepia,
reading this comment just made me .9 percent gayer
@The Champ,
I also feel gayer having read this comment.
@Me fail english?,
I feel like Shirley Temple after having read it…which is gay.
@Cheekie,
i feel like i’m trapped inside of an easter bunny uniform
Aside (because of the pic): I just saw “I Think I Love My Wife” and even though I’m not the hugest Chris Rock fan and even though this movie probably had one of the worst movie endings in the history of endings, I really love that club scene when Chris’ character is dancing to “Laffy Daffy”. The dance he does cracked my ish up. I could not stop laughing. It’s so simple, too, the dance he did, but I lost it.
K, on to the actual topic.
“1. keeping friend-zoned guys around”
As if we have him chained up to a pole as a prisoner? (Ya’ll would like that, actually). No. The nicca has a choice. If he doesn’t like just being her friend, he should be MAN enough to say so. No one is emasculating him, but himself…for letting her.
“2. asking loaded questions with no right answers”
You know what, this is true. Cruel as hell. That’s why I’m of the mind that one shouldn’t ask questions they don’t wanna hear the answer to. But we do anyway, right? Mostly because of affirmation. I mean, it’s not like the lady is wanting you to say, “Boo, you look like the Montauk Monster”. Unless she’s a masochist. Or unless she’s looking for a reason to slap the sh*t outta you.
“3. flirting with happily attached men”
Ugh, I’m not this vindictive. I try to blow the “What if a chick was doing this to MY man? How would I FEEL?!” siren whenever I talk to a cutie that’s attached. Then again, there’s another layer to this. Vulnerable and pissed-off-at-their-woman-right-now-but-still-happily-with-her dudes sometimes take playful banter as hardcore flirting. They see what they wanna see. Hear what they wanna hear. Maybe not so much because they want to chop and screw her, but because he wants to feel desired.
“4. “the boyfriend””
Dayum, it really gets that far, though? Like you spend beaucoup time with her — seemingly DATING her — and then she ups the throws you the boyfriend card? Usually when a guy approaches me, I know his intentions right off the back and I let him know then and there. I mean, if it’s a college-type situation where I just happen to hang out with him, then still, the boyfriend convo has to come in there somewhere. I honestly don’t know how the man avoids it.
“also, ladies, i need to know: why are you all so damn cruel? is it our fault, or did God just make you that way? is it nature, nurture, or the alcohol? ”
We’re this cruel because God believes it’s your fault and He has brought us into nature with a cruel gene, nurtured us in order to hone our cruel skills and then provided the world with alcohol so ya’ll can deal with it. *Z-formation snap*
@Cheekie, Aside (because of the pic): I just saw “I Think I Love My Wife” and even though I’m not the hugest Chris Rock fan and even though this movie probably had one of the worst movie endings in the history of endings,
this was just a pretty terrible movie all-around.
@Panama Jackson,
it was. it had so much potential too.
@The Champ,
Yeah, it was a movie with a few good scenes, but I wouldn’t buy it. It could’ve been great, though.
damn… I’m a big flirt so I have a prob with 3… i dont think the problem lies with me flirting it lies with them flirting back… mmm hmm lol
@Eb, sorry, but if you put your boobs on a dudes back…he’s going to flirt back. there’s no way around it.
I agree with this post…but here’s mine:
1. The Bait and Switch – She starts off sweet, innocent…she seems really genuine…but once you get slightly comfortable with her (say after a month or two), she turns into an annoying and nagging harpie.
2. The Flake – She seems real interested and you make arrangements to meet up or invite her over. She gives you a time of when she’s going to leave and you get prepared for the meet up, she even calls to say she’s on her way…then she never shows. She’ll call you days later saying something came up. She thinks this is acceptable. This is why you should have backups for your backups.
@CPT Callamity,
“She gives you a time of when she’s going to leave and you get prepared for the meet up, she even calls to say she’s on her way…then she never shows.”
This means that you were her backup. #1 called en route and she called an audible. Sorry Charlie.
@CPT Callamity,
Damn. I think I’ve def been guilty of #2…and some may say #1 (but they’re all filthy liars!!!).
#1 aint really my fault tho. Everybody puts their best foot forward in the beginning. Once you start getting annoyed by ppl you start lettin it hang. Men do this too.
We thought you were all sweet and attentive at first. You promised you’d come to brunch with our volunteer group and meet my friends. But it turns out all you wanna do on Sunday is watch football with your friends. You KNEW you invited them fools over when I asked you bout brunch yesterday. Now you gon get brand new like “I’ont remember agreeing to that” You dont even make them use coasters and they ate up all the chips and dip. And HOL’ UP?! Did I just hear one of these fcukholes suggest that you tell me to fry up some wings??? I mean, how the hell you gon keep a game on in the living room and another one on in the bedroom? WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? Then when I wanna go online to occupy myself you kick me off for fantasy football?! We aint talkin bout the real thing….but fantasy football?!?!
FYL!
@CPT Callamity,
also, many times #1 and #2 are the exact same person .
@The Champ,
You know…you’re right.
@miss-t-lee
If a woman let me know that she’s not coming, even if it’s to go to her top choice, then cool. All I want is confirmation that she’ s not rolling through so I can pull out my own backups. I have no problem with the flake if I’m prepared for it. The problem comes from when you make plans and then the heffa plays David Copperfield.
@CPT Callamity,
I don’t know if I quite believe this answer. You may be of a different breed, but most kats I know would ask a bajillion questions as to why you’re suddenly not coming over.
I just think it’s bad form if you have to actually tell them that they’ve been bumped because your A1 called.
I’m just saying.
@miss t-lee,
I wouldn’t ask either. If you aren’t coming then you let me know to make other plans.
@miss t-lee,
I am a different breed…
I don’t need to ask you questions. I could assume, but then again, why worry about it? Again, if she calls and says “hey, look, I’m not going to be able to make it, something came up, we’ll have to re-schedule” then all I will probably want to know is “is everything aight?” I don’t care what you are going to do, just be mindful of my time and respect the fact that I have options too.
@CPT Callamity,
I can dig it.
@CPT Callamity,
Ok, I’ll admit I’ve been a flake a few times…. but, but…. ok, I can’t come up with any good reasons.
I have since changed though.
@CPT Callamity,
You get two strikes…not three to flake. I feel like more than one is intentional. I also have a hard time believing that an emergency came up 1 hour before we were supposed to meet up.
i know i’ve been hit with “the boyfriend” plenty of times in the past. i just respond with: “well good luck to you and your boyfriend. he’s a lucky man” and walk away. in my mind i’m like “this b**** knows i was feeling her. why didn’t she tell me this shit earlier?” lol
@Tunde,
What’s stupid is when you approach them and get them rappin and flirtin and when you go in for the kill they hit you with the “I gotta man” thing and you walk away like “aight then, peace” and all of a sudden she goes “wait” *grabs arm* “you can still give me your number though.” For what? So you can possibly have me around as a backup simp in case dude messes up? I fail to understand why chicks do this.
@CPT Callamity,
That chick is tryna cheat and not seem like a hussy. Either that or what you said. Haha, she aint slick!
@Me fail english?,
Exactly why I don’t trust em.
@CPT Callamity,
…evil lurks.
Bond. BlkBond.
@CPT Callamity, i would still take her number. game recognize game and she looking real unfamiliar.
fellas, i know i’m missing a few. do you have any more examples of relentless cruelness you’d like to share?
I got a few more for you Champ.
1) Giving it up to any negro with a pulse but when it comes to you she has to be in a relationship with you for her to sleep with you.
2) Dating the most irresponsible, lamest, non-character having men and having babies with them and not giving you a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd look. After life has kicked her in the @ss then she is sweating you like “I really like you. What’s up with us”?
3) Having an @ss like Deelishis or Serena Williams and won’t let a brotha get backshots. I wish I could put this chick on blast that did this. I just want to warn dudes before hand.
4) Putting a dude in the friend zone and not offering to hook him up with a homegirl thats better or just as good as you. Women always want to hook men up with a downgrade.
5) Thick girls with no @ss. This is one of the cruelest tricks. A sick hip to waist ratio in the front and a pancake in the back. You see her from the front and your mouth drops until you see the backside.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
I agree with everything you’ve said!!
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
I’ll *throat punch* number 3 for ya…that’s just incredibly evil.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong, 5) Thick girls with no @ss. This is one of the cruelest tricks. A sick hip to waist ratio in the front and a pancake in the back. You see her from the front and your mouth drops until you see the backside.
one of my boys gets completely offended to the point where he refuses to speak to people for the rest of the night when he sees thick chicks with no azz. it visibly pains him.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
lol, 1 and 2 can be cruel all they want because i’m running as far away from them as possible. 3 is just freakin lame. thats like buying a dodge challenger but never going above the speed limit. 4 is truly evil, and number 5 is G0d being cruel to them and us.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlo
Amen to number 4. Amazing how their conveniently single friend is always the one that can’t seem to attract a man on her own, is shaped like an exercise ball and only gets told she’s cute by her own girlfriends!
@CPT Callamity,
is shaped like an exercise ball and only gets told she’s cute by her own girlfriends!
thats if you’re lucky. she might be built like a garbage bag at wendys
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
You are a messiah for this list, lol.
1. I wrote a blog on this one. In the last 5-7 yrs, I am one of the top 3 victims of this illogical phenom in the western hemisphere. of the universe.
2. These women are laughable. I either immediately play them left, or make movies of them…
3. This is a serious violation. I had a girl in college from Indiana, who was like, “I don’t know you like that” and I’m thinking, “I was just in your mouth!”. Crazy.
4. I fall victim to this. I meet a BANGIN woman. She is either married or in a relationship, shows me pictures of her friends who are all JUST as bangin. Tells me she will hook me up with one, but as time continues she either (a) does not hook me up at all, (b) hooks me up with some buggerwolf who was not in the picture she showed me! What. The. F%^K!!
5. I dunno about that one. If she ain’t got a fatty, it’s likely she is invisible to me.
Bond. BlkBond.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
Meh…
re: #4, I bet my bf’s brother is tight at me about this. But honestly my bangin friends are taken and I refuse to help my homegirls cheat on a mate. If they do some slick isht Im not gonna runteldat…but I will not be an active accomplice in the fcukery. All my friends’ boyfriends like me.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
Why am I laying on the floor laughing my arse off? Bwahahaha!
Oh…wanted to come back and clarify MY Friend Zone perameters.
If you are in my Friend Zone it means the following:
1. I think you are ‘real cool people’.
2. I like your company and you are fun to hang out with.
3. I appreciate the fact that you can put words together to form sentences and sentences together to form thoughts. I love to debate and converse. You are perfect for both.
4. I’m not going to sleep with you – ever ’cause I ain’t digging you like THAT.
@SexyCool, 4. I’m not going to sleep with you – ever ’cause I ain’t digging you like THAT.
you need more people on this one. and this is why men are so persistent. there are way too many stories out there of folks married for 50 years on some, “i wasn’t paying yo daddy any attention like that. he was just my friend, then one day, it rained and i sat up and said, “i think i love that man”"
hell, its happened to me at least twice, where chicks who weren’t feeling me like THAT all of a sudden had an epiphany. next thing you know, they’re wondering why i’m not moving fast enough.
um, didn’t i just spend a year and a half trying to holler…you come around after i’m bangin’ half of howard and NOW i’m supposed to be moved to emotion.
get in line, ho.
^tell me that would’nt be a dope hook in a song?
@Panama Jackson,
Nine years later, I’m still not sleeping with Elliott. He looks too much like Fab Five Freddy and I am not attracted to him like THAT. (lol)
I’m about to spit 16 bars to make you get line
Cause negro, you think that if you put in time
You’ll win me over and I’ll come around
And I’ll be the fly piece you take out on the town.
You’ve got it all wrong and don’t even know
That when I said what I said I really meant “no.”
Now you saying everything is cool
And you like being my friend
You like just going to the movies
and sponsoring me with your ends.
You can’t get a feel
And would settle for a taste.
Now you mad at me
Cause you couldn’t face
That the truth was truth when I said it to you.
Now nine years later, what IS you gone do?
Drop that hook, Panama.
@Panama Jackson,
hell, its happened to me at least twice, where chicks who weren’t feeling me like THAT all of a sudden had an epiphany. next thing you know, they’re wondering why i’m not moving fast enough.
this is true. every guy here today could probably talk about a time when they were unexpectedly “unfriendzoned”
@The Champ,
meh…so you moved up in rotation..it happens, lol
@Smiley Face,
lol, so basically i was on a 10-day contract?
@SexyCool,
lol, thing is, if we’re interested in you and 4 is true, 1,2, and 3 dont mean sh*t
@The Champ,
Co-sign. That would mean that alot of these responses by the VSS are straight booty meat
Bond.
@smiley face
Girl what kinda hooders you got? j/k you don’t have to answer that
@Happy Meal,
LMAO!!! I get em from my mama!
@Smiley Face,
i poke fun but i so feel you…I get em from my Gramma…the heavy danglies seem to skip generations in my fam
@Happy Meal,
Now don’t get me wrong I ain’t walking around with door knockers, it’s just the ding dong bells ring off and on all day long, lol
I’ll admit if this is the definition of the ‘cruel’ woman, I am her. Every single one of your list items I’ve done. Here’s why:
1. I keep attractive, suitable, good-guy friend-zone guys around for the same reason you all keep hella fine, body-like-a-shotgun-wow-friend-zone women around: Break in case of emergency and because you always need a good looking person of the opposite sex around to make the others jealous. AND incessant and endless flirting makes for an ever enjoyable relationship.
2. What loaded question???
3. Hell, it’s great to see you all blush and behave badly. I wear peep- toe heels everytime I know I’m gonna see my attached homeboy. Why? He loves them and I like to keep my friends happy.
4. When I had the boyfriend problem, the reason remained the same: it’s fun to see you all get all excited and get the *blank stare*. LOL!
Quietly, you guys like allll of this attention. If you didn’t you would not blog about it PANAMA!……Do you men know how much you put us through? A few moments of cruelty won’t kill you and it sure is fun for us!!!! ROFL!!!! ….Maybe one day I’ll let up. Until then, where are my peeptoe shoes???? LOL!!!
@Daydreamer,
” body-like-a-shotgun”
Maybe this is a local expression, but I’ve just turned a shotgun around in my head a 100 times and I’m lost on how it translates into a nice looking body on a woman.
“4. When I had the boyfriend problem, the reason remained the same: it’s fun to see you all get all excited and get the *blank stare*. LOL!”
I’ve actually stopped mid conversation behind this one…
Her: Yeah, my boyfriend does that too.
Me: Word. Alright. Peace.
@Omar, LOL! The term stems from a Ne-yo/ Fab song. It think it’s more about the POW but still it means she’s a banger…..
@Daydreamer,
“I keep attractive, suitable, good-guy friend-zone guys around for the same reason you all keep hella fine, body-like-a-shotgun-wow-friend-zone women around: Break in case of emergency ”
DO men keep these types of women around? I’d say IF they have them around they are most certainly tryna make it do wut it do. Eff an emergency!
@Me fail english?, DO THEY?! Maybe it’s a NY thing? (but i doubt it) There have been plenty of times a guy I know will have a gorgeous woman at his side and when I ask if that’s his gf, he’ll quickly shoot the question down with a ‘Nah, she’s my homegirl. She’s like a sister to me.’… *side eye* Sister like hell….
@Daydreamer, If you didn’t you would not blog about it PANAMA!
actually, The Champ blogged about it.
i pretty much want to scalp chicks who do these things.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOW.
@Panama Jackson, I stand corrected…..
Soooo yeah @TheChamp….. you like it. Don’t front.
@Daydreamer,
you all keep hella fine, body-like-a-shotgun-wow-friend-zone women around
who the hell does this? and what the hell is a body like a shotgun? thin with a two-toned torso? loud and long-legged? black?
@The Champ,
I’m equally confused at the “shotgun” reference.
@Daydreamer
Breaker 1-9, please clarify…over.
@The Champ,
LMAO! I cant keep viewing this site at work!
@The Champ,
I hear shotgun body I think Olive Oil with big feet.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
Imma get fired!! Y’all stop it!! LMAO!!!
Dang I’m guilty of 3 out of 4 of these offenses….wow….I really thought I was a nice girl….I had no idea I was cruel
@klysha, It’s ok. I’m a nice girl too. I guess this is all about being nice. Keeping them at a distance but close enough where they feel needed and important. Works for me. *shrugs*
@klysha,
bastard
women aren’t cruel, guys are just…. soft. can i put this bluntly?
1. guys just want sex so much that they are willing to be friend zoned (in the hope of getting it).
2. guys secretly love answering those unaswerable questions because it means they get in our good books, make us feel pretty, beautiful blah blah blah… so that they can get sex at the end of the day.
3. happily attached men love it when women flirt with them, just not when their wives/gf’s are there. guys, please admit that you get a boost to your ego when a pretty woman flirts with you, the pride you feel when you can loudly say ‘I’m sorry, I’m married’ when you are at HER house and she is about to strip down into just her heels. Or, most guys wouldn’t even bother to say that they are married, therefore making the flirting woman seem like a hoe, at least girls have the courtesy to say they got a boyfriend!
4. dropping the ‘i love spielberg sometimes too, but not as much as my boyfriend does” right before he’s about to ask for her number.’<<< this is what I do when I don't wanna give my number to the guy because he has been friend zoned.
sorry for any spelling errors, i really can't be bothered to read what i wrote.
oh, and you should write a post about the four cruelest things guys consistently do to women…!
@Ramona, 2. guys secretly love answering those unaswerable questions because it means they get in our good books, make us feel pretty, beautiful blah blah blah… so that they can get sex at the end of the day.
i’m pretty 100 percent sure we dont secretly love answering those questions. we’re glad when we get them right, but we pretty much hate them sh*ts, across the board.
+1
@Panama Jackson,
Damn skippy. My gf tells me that I say the wrong thing. No, I answer the question pretty coldly. Don’t want to know? Then don’t ask.
I don’t ask her many questions, because I’m harder on myself than she will ever be. She can be crueler but I’m my own worst critic…and biggest fan, cheerleader, hype man, and co-signer.
There’s another one on my list (inspired by what CPT Callamity said)
-Blowing a man off and not playing it straight with him. Ladies expect dudes to be trained to know what’s up when they just do whatever the f*ck, not understanding that brothers didn’t all grow up in her f*cked up and real sh*tty world. Not feeling his views, tell him. Not feeling coming out with him that night or you ain’t coming, tell him. Not feeling him period, tell him. Was it something he said? Help him learn something. All that no call no text no show stuff is hella high school and speaks volumes about the female’s character far more than the guys.
And back on that friend zone thing for a second: He’s not in no damn friend zone, he’s in the associate zone, the ninja to take money from zone, when he should be in the he’s thru with money zone. Because you’re not gonna be real friends with this guy, he ain’t gonna be part of the close knit crew, you ain’t tossing him a beer out the fridge and watching the game with him, you ain’t sliding him one of your season tickets, you ain’t helping him out with a ride to work when the Ac is in the shop…you probably won’t even rap with him in the frank manner of a real friend that a man can appreciate. He’s not at arm’s length, he’s at leg’s length….unless you’re a midget, then it’s probably the same thing. You guys have no mutual use for each other, so he’s not a friend…you really want nothing to do with his *ss and won’t woman up and say that sh*t. And dudes are the lame ones…FOH.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
***shots fired***
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“And back on that friend zone thing for a second: He’s not in no damn friend zone, he’s in the associate zone, the ninja to take money from zone, when he should be in the he’s thru with money zone. Because you’re not gonna be real friends with this guy, he ain’t gonna be part of the close knit crew, you ain’t tossing him a beer out the fridge and watching the game with him, you ain’t sliding him one of your season tickets, you ain’t helping him out with a ride to work when the Ac is in the shop…you probably won’t even rap with him in the frank manner of a real friend that a man can appreciate. ”
I cosign all of this 200%. Seriously mofos say friends but don’t associate like they are friends at all. Men and women are guilty of this when they call someone of the opposite sex “friend”.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
If women could brandish the type of honesty that you prescribe in Paragraph #2 and if men could accept that ish without major ego bruising, then I would be all for it.
“you really want nothing to do with his *ss and won’t woman up and say that sh*t.”
For me to do that would be CRUEL. It would also be rude, tactless and liable to get a chick cursed out.
@SexyCool,
Actually you are wrong. This is exactly what we want. To me, the opposite is rude and tactless, saying one thing when you really mean another. Me and my friends don’t tolerate that kinda of BS from each other, so when someone plays that with me, it bothers me a lot.
@SexyCool,
Not really. If you say you’re not feeling a brotha…we’ll have a slightly bruised ego but at least we’ll know and can adjust accordingly. I know chicks who know they ain’t feeling a brotha, yet continue to accept calls and/or tolerate him being around just because she can’t open her filthy mouf.
@CPT Callamity,
Everyone wants it and nobody gives it. I’m sure you’ve known men who at least lied by omission to get smthg they wanted out of a chick. Or maybe they just were avoiding confrontation/hurting her feelings. Men are famous for that.
@Me fail english?,
Cosign. When dudes can start coming to chicks that they’ve been dealing with and saying, “Look, I appreciate that you’ve been letting me kick it with you these past couple of months and you’re a decent enough lay and all, but I’m really feeling Keisha and I’m going to start kicking it with her full time.” or saying, “I really think you’re just an average looking chick that I wouldn’t mind fckn til something better comes along.”
Then, I will start saying to dudes, “Marcus, you’re a really nice guy and all, but I’m not into slightly-round, extra regular dudes.” or “Kissing you is like kissing my brother and I would never let him put his tongue in my mouth so the chances of you getting with me like that are equal to Mr. Obama being elected Grand Wizard.”
@Dark Brown,
Say that!
Everybody gets a turn on vsb. I guess today it’s women’s turns to play the heavy
@Dark Brown,
Cosign. When dudes can start coming to chicks that they’ve been dealing with and saying, “Look, I appreciate that you’ve been letting me kick it with you these past couple of months and you’re a decent enough lay and all, but I’m really feeling Keisha and I’m going to start kicking it with her full time.” or saying, “I really think you’re just an average looking chick that I wouldn’t mind fckn til something better comes along.”
Then, I will start saying to dudes, “Marcus, you’re a really nice guy and all, but I’m not into slightly-round, extra regular dudes.” or “Kissing you is like kissing my brother and I would never let him put his tongue in my mouth so the chances of you getting with me like that are equal to Mr. Obama being elected Grand Wizard.”
i have to admit, this is a good point and sh*t
@Me fail english?,
I see your point…
…but I’ve become “instant badguy” for telling the truf. Some of you all KNOW you can’t take rejection as calmly as you think you can…
@CPT Callamity,
And a lot of you men can’t either. It’s like DarkBrown says – I really can’t say to one of you dudes that “I would rather stay home on a Friday night and pick lint from my bellybutton than go out with you.”
So, we try it the nice way AND THEY DON’T GET THE POINT.
(Phone Ringing on TUESDAY night)
SexyCool: Hello.
Norman: Hey, how are you?
SexyCool: I’m good.
Norman: I was calling to see if you wanted to check out a movie on Friday.
SexyCool: You know I am beat on Fridays. After being at work all week, I just wanna come home on Friday and put my feet up. But thanks for asking.
Norman: What about Saturday?
SexyCool: I’m sorry I’ve already got other plans.
Norman: Well, tell you what – if you wanna go see the movie on Sunday, call me, we can go to a late brunch and an early matinee.
SexyCool: I usually go visit my grandma on Sundays, but I will keep that in mind. You have a good weekend, okay?
(I swear before Big Baby Geezus that this was a real conversation.)
@SexyCool,
lol@ naming him “Norman”. I guess Lame-0 J. Lameington was too much to type.
But seriously, why dont the Normans of the world ever stop to wonder “If she likes me, why wont she suggest an alternative day?”
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Don’t get mad at me because you will NEVER see my O-face.
@Dark Brown,
LOL. I like you already.
Welcome
@Me fail english?,
Thanks for the welcome. My folk, SexyCool, turned me onto this spot.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Raises M249 to the sky and empties a whole belt!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“And dudes are the lame ones…”
Yup! You didn’t have to say all that other stuff to get to this conclusion. (Yes, I ignored the FOH part because it’s not valid…lol)
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
**Let the chuuuch say: AAAAA-MMMMEEEEEEN**
(**Does George Jefferson Dance**)
Bond.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
D*mn bruh. lol
@Selah, “Ac in the shop” part was too much?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“He’s not at arm’s length, he’s at leg’s length….unless you’re a midget, then it’s probably the same thing. ”
*dead*
2. asking loaded questions with no right answers
Whenever my ex asked me one of these questions I gave her to choices. Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?
4. “the boyfriend”
The worse thing about this is all the work you put in that was wasted. If you found this out earlier you could have moved on to more lucrative opportunities.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
“Whenever my ex asked me one of these questions I gave her to choices. Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?”
This is the equivalent of just coming out and saying the hurtful answer, only wasting more time and being passive-aggressively mean. Because by giving her those choices, she will come to the conclusion that you’re gonna give her the hurtful answer.
@Cheekie,
Pretty much. Maybe he didn’t like her and was being rude on purpose. *shrugs*
Girl: Baby, do I look fat?
Humble: Now do you want me to tell you youdon’t look fat, or do you want the truth?
Girl:
Humble:
@Me fail english?,
*cracking up at the smilies*
@Cheekie,
Hmm, the hope is she’d come to the conclusions that she should stop asking those questions.
Besides, why would you ask someone what is essentially a yes/no question when one of the answers could hurt you? To me, you are either asking a rhetorical question or you are deliberately pretending to be ignorant. I’m fine with answering rhetorical questions. . . the first five times. Once I start getting annoyed, then I start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you.
If you want a compliment, why can’t you just say, tell me what you think about me? Or tell me I’m pretty? Instead you ask a specific question where sometimes I have to think about whether to lie and make you happy, or tell the truth and make you mad – and the reason this is even more vexing is that we’ve likely had several arguments whose result was me being told that I should always answer questions with the truth.
@kamakula,
“Hmm, the hope is she’d come to the conclusions that she should stop asking those questions.”
Yup, I know where he’s going with it, I’m just saying it’s the same as just giving her the insulting answer. Only passively-aggressively. Being blunt is another way to get her to stop asking.
But, yeah, I agree with you overall that those types of questions shouldn’t be asked if you’re not prepared for the answer. Most women who ask that are fishing for a compliment. I’m just saying Humble’s “solution” is the same as just saying, “Naw, you look like a Yeti” only it takes longer.
@Cheekie,
Not to mention that you can’t get annoyed at her for not directly asking for a compliment if you’re not directly telling her “Quit asking me these questions!”
Two sides of the same coin.
@me fail,
As usual, you raise the greatest of points. Co-signage.
@Cheekie,
“This is the equivalent of just coming out and saying the hurtful answer, only wasting more time and being passive-aggressively mean. Because by giving her those choices, she will come to the conclusion that you’re gonna give her the hurtful answer.”
I didn’t ask that question like that to be mean. I started doing that because i got tired of women asking me questions and wanting to be told what they wanted to hear. When I would tell them the truth they wouldn’t buy it or blow me off. So I started giving the two choices on the answers.
@Humble_One aka $5 Footlong,
But, you see what I’m saying in that you’re not really giving her choices, you’re just colorfully giving her the insultful answer? She knows what she wants to hear, so making “the truth” the other possible answer, you’ve already outed yourself. Might as well just say the truth if that’s where you’re getting at. lol
@Cheekie,
I don’t think it’s an insult. How is giving the option of the truth an insult?
“I don’t think it’s an insult. How is giving the option of the truth an insult?”
Okay. So here is the question:
“Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?””
What she wants to hear = good
The truth = bad (which you’re implying that it’s the opposite of what she wants to hear by saying “or”)
She already know what she wants to hear (something positive), thus she knows what the truth is (something negative). Hence, you might as well tell the truth. lol
@Cheekie,
I see where you are coming from. I would phrase the question like that so I would come off as “keeping it real” instead of being seen as an insensitive @sshole. I see too many men tell women what they want to hear and I refuse to do it. Although now I that i am older I am more tactful in how I do it.
Men are gluttons for punishment… their modus operandi – kind of in a pain is pleasure thrill seeking way – when they
know for damn suresuspect she’s outta their league.1. One of the most common reasons why men allow themselves to stay in the FZ is because they CANNOT.ACCEPT.DEFEAT. Women generally want to be loved and appreciated for who they are. Lotsa dudes don’t seeeem to care if she previously stated you repulse her, need to come back when you’re on her ‘level,’ or ain’t tall enogh to get on that ride. If there’s a glimmer of a chance he can hit, it’s all bygones! He’ll convince himself and try to lure others into thinkin she knew he was the man all along and had been fightin temptation all along. OR he can recognize the forest for the trees and he should immediately disembark from this suicide mission.
2. Men should stop being dumb enough to answer dumb questions. He should immediately disembark from that suicide mission.
3..She’s either a superdedooper Insecure chick or a paid decoy. In both cases he should immediately disembark from that suicide mission.
4. Next time, ask yourself if she’s flirting or merely being cordial. Now ask again and be honest this time… 97.2% of the time, she’s just conversing. The other 7% or so of the time she is a skank. He should immediately disembark from that suicide mission.
@ Panama Jackson said to chele around 10 am,
“b/c we get bored too. and when we get bored we run down all the numbers to see if we can hit off any body we didn’t manage to poke before. its really quite simple. sometimes, you will get that call. and no, he doesnt want to be with you. he wants to see your pokerface.”
Giving away too many male plots, game. U acting real Steve Harvyish right now, even tho that shud be no woman’s guide to knowing black men. We cnt dropped too much knowledge, jus enough to keep the people(VSB) enslaved. “Black Dating: A Love Story”
@The Hallway,
VSS enslaved
I’ve got a question for you ladies. Why is it that when we do go out on a date or talk on the phone, its like you girls are giving us an interview off the bat. Like you women are the top prize and we have to earn it. Why doesn’t it work both ways? When i go out on a date with a woman, I am testing and seeing if your the right one for me also. Like buying a drink for a woman for a conversation. Why can’t the woman buy us MEN a drink instead. My time is just as valuable as yours honey.
I’ve got a question for you ladies. Why is it that when we do go out on a date or talk on the phone, its like you girls are giving us an interview off the bat. Like you women are the top prize and we have to earn it. Why doesn’t it work both ways? When i go out on a date with a woman, I am testing and seeing if your the right one for me also. Like buying a drink for a woman for a conversation. Why can’t the woman buy us MEN a drink instead. Alot of you women take that for granted. My time is just as valuable as yours honey.
@Roger “Like you women are the top prize and we have to earn it”
thats about right *shrug*, these days and times dayum near call for a background check, blood test and a polygraph….you betta be asking them pointed questions, in polite conversation of course (I’m like the police every seemingly simple question asked IS specifially to discern wtf is really going on)
@Roger,
“Like you women are the top prize and we have to earn it.”
Ya’ll put us there once you discovered the cooch.
As for # 2 I have developed this I’m thinking hard & I’m stumped face acompanied by a sound that goes “mrounghrorw.” It works cuz 1. it’s funny, 2. It subliminally says quit effin w/ me I’ll leave you in the cat section @ the pet store woman. Cuz it’s kind of a sound that scooby doo would make if he were a cat.
@WuDaMan,
SMH…
@Champ
Okay, statements 1 -3 can be summed up as the woman being an attention whore. It really gets me when guys think these type of traits are universally in EVERY WOMAN. That’s just not the case because I for one don’t do any of the things above.
I think some men want the really pretty, unattainable chick because
a.) they want a challenge
b.) it fuels their egos
c.) they really didn’t get a chance to know the real woman, just an ideal version they made up in their own minds.
d.) be the envy of their guy friends, which goes back to ego.
I definitely don’t keep men in the friends zone if they openly tried to hit on me or show romantic/sexual intentions that I know I’m not going to act on. I’ll be upfront with them, letting them know they don’t have a chance ( as blunt as that may be). But I leave it in their hands after that. If they can just be a platonic friend after that- then I’d know they are a good guy but most of the time- a guys ego is just to huge or in some cases fragile for that type of honesty from a woman; some even think I am just playing hard to get, what?
That is why some men get strung along by women. I personally think it is in male DNA to uphold extremely, sexually attractive women to a different standard than say the average woman. It is as if she holds more value and affords you a better status. When in actuality, you should be looking for things like emotional, financial and lifestyle compatibility.
But since men are “visual creatures,” and can’t be with someone they are not sexually attracted to from the get go- you’re f*cked.
Treat all women’s cruel actions as if they are unintentional.
And occasionally remind them how much you hate unintentional actions
They’ll tell you exactly when they means it.
Very interesting topic. Honesty is the best policy. There is always a difference between being rude and being real. As such, it’s best for both men and women to keep it real with each other. Ladies, if you have a b/f and you’re out at the club, be real with a guy who is clearly interested in getting to know you. The first words out of my mouth after giving my “name” are “I have a b/f”. Most men don’t even care. I have heard “what your man got to do with me” more time than I can count. Men, stop lying to women and telling them that you are interested in a monogamous relationship when you know you really just want to sleep with her. The world would rotate a lot smoother if people just kept it real. (SN: “name” is in quotation marks because I do NOT need stalkers looking me up on Facebook after I told them that I was not interested. lol.)
I guarantee that if a guy walked up to me, shared a nice conversation for a while, then said, “hey, it was nice talking to you” and then walked away WITHOUT asking for my number, I would not be able to stop thinking about him. And (I think) most women would agree that it would trigger some sort of “I have bad game” insecurity and we would be wondering why he didn’t ask for the digits for days. But that’s how men should play it… Introduce yourself, let the charm marinate, and then (somehow) make yourself visible to the sister again sometime in the very near future. This would work best in a regular happy hour spot, FYI. It’s how I met my husband.
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