we all know this woman.
she could be your closest friend.
your district manager.
your neighbor.
your mother-in-law.
your classmate.
your co-worker.
regardless of which role she happens to play, after spending some time with her, you have no problem whatsoever recognizing, examining, and outlining her problem; a problem so resonate that it effects her entire being, a problem that permeates everything and everyone around her, leaving those who’ve been in her fallout area left with no choice but to utter those same fateful six words underneath their breath:
“can somebody f*ck her soon, please????????”
from the “taming of the shrew” to “pre-early 2008 renaissance” condoleezza rice (btw, condi’s makeover from branmuffinhead to potential milf after several rum and cokes has to be one of the single most spellbounding stories of 2008.), the idea and existence of a woman universally thought to be in dire need of some d*ck is as old and dry as ***insert perfunctory joke about random vsb-er***.
(asexual no more)
although this may seem harsh, we all know a few chicks whose general demeanor and countenance would be legions better if, while they were pulling overtime duty at the office tuesday night, counting typos in everyone’s emails or some other excessively anal endeavor, some masked mandingo broke in, bent her over the trashbin in the breakroom, tied her hands to the blender, and blew her back out like bob backlund. if you don’t know any of these chicks, sorry hun. its probably you.
because we feel that a “satisfied” female populace makes the world much safer and much more fun, the champ has decided to give you all four definite signs that a woman needs some soon
she voluntarily works over 60 hours a week
i’m not referring to the person who has to work 12 hour days to put food on the table or to keep their business afloat, but nothing says “get her some serious wang, stat!!!” like a woman who’s a workaholic for no reason. if you interpret this as sexist or slightly misogynistic, hmmm….it looks like someone’s mouth needs some manmeatoh well. i’m the champ and you’re not. deal with it
everyone is always trying to hook her up with someone
when you mom, your co-workers, your ex-boyfriend, your neighbors, your girls, the people you know at church, the crazy mocha weekend barista, your nephews barber, and the family of that guy you hit with your car in 1998 are all always trying to “hook you up” with people they know, it has nothing to do with their altruism or their compassion or their loathe to see a “decent woman” by herself, and everything to do with the fact that your air of “coituslessness” is emitting from your body, infecting everyone and everything within a 20 foot radius, and they’re tired of it and ready for a change.
also, when this occurs, they’re usually three steps away from murdering you. its that serious
during “outings” with her girls, she keeps tabs on who does or doesn’t show up
i wasn’t aware that some women actually did this until a few years ago, when one of my exes informed me that she needed to go to this morning miniature golf outing her girls were having (she had some weird ass girls, btw), because she had missed the last one.
apparently, if she missed two in a row, one of the organizers of this outing would probably send her a snarky email/text “questioning her focus as a friend”
***btw, this “organizer” was also nicknamed “t-mac” because of her terry mcmillan stan-dom and her odd resemblance to tracy mcgrady.***
when i asked a couple women i knew about this phenomenon, they each remarked that this is common. at least one member of their circle of friends keeps mental event attendance tabs. this person is also usually the one who’s gone the longest without someone “poppin her pepsi can”
she’s a militant black woman who has recently (within five years) graduated from college.
if i were a mathematician, in this space i would have placed the results of an inferential statistical study detailing the correlation between ultra-dogmatic militantism and lack of non-solo induced orgasms. since i’m not a mathematician, i’ll just say that, without fail, EVERY ultra militant recent college grad i’ve ever known (and i’ve known dozens) changed her tune considerably after she got some consistent gotdamn. every. 100 percent.
i guess its tough to memorize and recite jessica care moore with a wang in your mouth.
people of vsb.com, its your patriotic duty to make sure that the sexless women in your life get some sex, that the wang-less get some wang, that the healthy backed get them broke before the end of the calender year. the world is counting on you. don’t let your people or your champ down.
—the champ
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{ 487 comments… read them below or add one }
*Stands up, begins the slow cap*
Clap……….clap…….clap…..clap…clap.clap
@Dorian G.,
boooooooo hiss
Go sat down somewherez.
@Dorian G.,
tee-hee @ the slow clap
@Dorian G., I see you on some bullsh*t.
@overit,
I think Dorian was clapping for himself because he made the first comment.
“i guess its tough to memorize and recite jessica care moore with a wang in your mouth.”
So funny and so true. I know a girl who was manless, not necessarily sexless. To be honest, any woman who desires to simply get laid can get laid by someone – it ain’t that difficult. There is always some trampy dude out there. But to get some on a consistent basis is difficult for some if there isn’t a resident back blower in the picture.
But back to ole girl: while manless, she was mean, mean, mean. And now she is with a man and is singing a different tune. She no longer goes off on people who say hello, she isn’t b!tching at the world just because…
@V.E.G.,
this is a success story and sh*t
@V.E.G.,
“To be honest, any woman who desires to simply get laid can get laid by someone – it ain’t that difficult. ”
now i’ve always felt this was true. however, why in Sam Hill do i run into so many women who SWEAR it aint that easy? or is it just that they don’t feel they can get schlonged by somebody they want.
which begs the question: is it better to get bad schlonged, or not schlonged at all??
@Panama Jackson,
Bad schlonged.
It’s a complete and total waste of time.
@Panama Jackson,
I would say hell Naw to bad D!! That just makes even more cranky than before… It aggravates the symptoms of lack of D cause now we’re 100x more frustrated……..
The thinking being why did I bother to shave,dress cook just for bad D when I could have handled the byzness myself with awesome results?
@malaika,
shave ok I get that but who says you have to get all dolled up and cook. I can get a sandwich on the way and who cares what you wearing.
@Panama Jackson,
because realistically speaking most men that believe they are blowing your back out are only tickling your insides..lol…not cause we’re that wide but because they are that little. NEWSALERT!!! All black men do NOT have big wangs…..
@Nia, yup
@Nia,
welcome and sh*t
I can’t speak for any other women, but “goodgotdamn” on a regular basis surely smooths out my rough edges. I usually can recognize my own lack o’ wang prickly-ness before anybody else does and remedy that situation before I offend too many people.
@PBG,
I usually can recognize my own lack o’ wang prickly-ness before anybody else doe
this is a great quality to have. good job
@The Champ,
Some of us are just gifted. And by “some of us”, I mean me.
Thank you.
oh, do I have a gf who really fits into the category of “needs some now”
i love her, but lawd if she didn’t piss me, my mama, my godmommy and my best friend off today. she channels her extra energy into ‘doing way too much’ and driving people nuts.
i’m trying to get her some quality d before i have to smack her.
@blackberry molasses,
um…can i be on the list for those youre gettin some quality D, too?? LOL
@shatani,
of course! I’m all for making my sisters smiley… it makes the world a better place.
#4
so sad but so damn true.
whats worse, is i dont see an end to it ever.
im too damn picky
im all high strung n shyt now…gettin some will at least let me relax a bit…among other things lol
@trin-trin,
“im too damn picky”
I completely understand girl.
@miss t-lee,
paralysis thru analysis!!!!
@trin-trin,
“whats worse, is i dont see an end to it ever.”
forever ever?
@The Champ,
i shouldnt say forever ever…but its very slim pickins where i live and im finna be here for the next three years for grad school starting january soo…and once school starts i aint gonna have time to dedicate to gettin a dude or a ho so…yeah i figure this dry spell may last a while
sucks 4 me
@trin-trin,
where do you live and sh*t?
@The Champ,
just moved to the bay area
i love cali but i miss the east coast
(and no i aint advertising to get hooked up im just lamenting in my misery lol)
@trin-trin,
(and no i aint advertising to get hooked up im just lamenting in my misery lol)
you sure? asking because i was about to hold an auction for your email address on ebay
@The Champ, LMAO.
@The Champ,
well, uhhh…in that case…break me off 50% of the proceeds and im all 4 it…
i mean, cuz if homie ends up bein a loser i should at least get some monetary benefit from it right???
Yes, I work with one of those women, she is one of those people that no matter how nice you are to her she still scowls at you, and she is a pretty woman by the way. I want to send her some wang in a bottle, by airway, via email, facsimile, Pony Express, telegram, telegrapah, two-way, snail mail, sattellite, bike messenger, and telepathy TODAY! Someone needs to knock the dust off of that, I’ll even give him some Pledge and a feather duster to help out, bc I’m charitable and sh*t.
some wang Pony Express could really be the business and just what the doctor ordered for girly…
and not pledge with a feather duster! lmao… i’d actually recommend the swiffer duster. but that’s just me.
@Gem of the Ocean, yeah feather duster is so 90s, swiffer is where its at! I love me some swiffer, I actually look for reasons to use it lol.
@overit, well i don’t think she has gotten any since the 90′s, so one step at a time, lol…..
@Relax, Relate, Alise, so you are talking a re-entry type program lol. She has been out the game too long so she needs to take it slow, and build up to a situation. I wish her all the luck lol. Hey, maybe you should take that on as a project, it might take away some of your hell point lmao.
lmao @ one step at a time.
i just put my mom up on the swiffer game. it’s a process, so i understand… good luck with your co-worker, Alise!
@Gem of the Ocean, “some wang Pony Express ”
I keep getting images of Ginuwine and his baby hair…I can’t.
*dead*
@Fly…,
“I keep getting images of Ginuwine and his baby hair…I can’t.”
nor should you.
@Fly…,
This visual disturbs me.
@Relax, Relate, Alise, you know Wang Express is one brotha/male away. For those who just want s*x, I can’t imagine it being difficult to find.
@overit, well I hope she finds what she needs so she can get some sort of fulfilment and stop taking out her lack of something, whatever that something is, on us…..
@Relax, Relate, Alise, you’re right. I don’t there is a reason, save for mental illness, that excuses being ugly to people. NONE. She needs to get that under control, and if the lack of D was so serious, so life altering, people should forgive her all her transgressions, no?
i don’t even think it’s that some chicks can’t find a brotha to serve them up right. i think it’s they don’t even realize how undersexed they are and therefore don’t know really what it is they need. and that’s where self-actualization comes in. the more you know… the more you’ll O….
ok it’s just too late for me to be up.
@Gem of the Ocean, “the more you know… the more you’ll O…. ” I’m sure one VSB/VSSer will nominate this for a t-shirt.
You’re right, but how do they not know they are undersexed? I do think there is truth to this though. I know a woman who is so anal, so ready for a fight all the time, and everyone I know says she needs some D. I feel sorry for her though, she has dealt with a divorce, a bout with cancer, is a single mom, can’t someone give her a D rain check or something?
@overit,
At least a D IOU, voucher, coupon, introductory offer, no APR,no money down, or sumfin!
yall are so foolish lol
@Gem of the Ocean,
the more you know… the more you’ll O….
overit was right. this is a potential t-shirt.
@The Champ,
Soo true that’s why the intelligent girls as quiet as they seem have a handle on it already. That’s why they aint got no time for triflin but they getting their degrees n shit.
getting O’s makes you more intelligent, well spoken and patient
lol
lmao you might be right.
“That’s why they aint got no time for triflin but they getting their degrees n shit.”<~~~ this for some reason reminds me of the skits from College Dropout.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
“I want to send her some wang in a bottle, by airway, via email, facsimile, Pony Express, telegram, telegrapah, two-way, snail mail, sattellite, bike messenger, and telepathy TODAY! Someone needs to knock the dust off of that”
the day’s first corner worthy comment.
i’m setting the over/under at 14
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
maybe she is too picky…cuz if she pretty she getting hollered at so she need to stop frontin-she aint got to marry the dude
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
maybe she is in a rut cuz she is too picky…cuz if she pretty she getting hollered at so she need to stop frontin-she aint got to marry the dude
even tho there are some VSB ppl who actually “know” me now (no longer just a cyber-gem but a real life pearl) i’ll go ahead and put myself out there a bit…
i have a few male friends who have decided i need to get me “some”. it’s like they feel sorry for me for whatever reason and in an attempt to throw me a pity party they plot out some ideal short-termed J.O./F.B. situation. and of course, some of them have offered their services (thanks guys lol). there has even been suggestions from them and my girlfriends (*giving Ivy the side eye*) for seducing an undergrad–i mean how desperate do i look/seem?!?! damn!!! it’s never that serious (or is it??)… anyway. aside from #2, i don’t exhibit any of the other symptoms Champers so delicately mentioned in his post.
i realize some good D could potentially change my life–even if for a moment–but i’m not interested in casual “relations” just for the sake of getting some pep in my step. i mean, that’s what a barista who makes my SB pumpkin spice latte is for.
seriously, do i really come off as some one who NEEDS to get tuned up to improve her overall aura and outlook on life??
@Gem of the Ocean,
PREACH. This whole comment was taken out of my head, implanted in yours, and shared with VSB, or it could be the whole e-twin thing. This part especially resonated:
“i realize some good D could potentially change my life–even if for a moment–but i’m not interested in casual “relations” just for the sake of getting some pep in my step. i mean, that’s what a barista who makes my SB pumpkin spice latte is for.”
*choir*
I do understand that good D can mellow someone out, but at the end of the day, not every woman who is going D-less is working 60+ hrs, raving, foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers. It is really easy to get someone to take care of the physical aspect of it, but there is more (to some people) that is to be factored, and when you weigh the pros and cons, choosing to find something lasting as opposed to a quick fix does not make one crazy. Personally, there are a lot of things I do that could be considered work, that take up my time,and might equal out to 60+ hrs p/wk, not cause I wish I was laid up with Tyrone and am looking for distraction, but cause I want to.
I think its all about mindset, s*x should never be the determining factor to how much zeal you have for your damn life lmao. If you get some great, if you don’t, you will live and quite possibly, still be happy.
ok, e-twin, this thought was totally a transplant from my brain to yours (thank you/you’re welcome). scary. anyway–i’m soooo on board with this comment!! so true my sista *waving church fan*
esp…
“I think its all about mindset, s*x should never be the determining factor to how much zeal you have for your damn life lmao. If you get some great, if you don’t, you will live and quite possibly, still be happy.”
while i am sometimes happy to indulge in random pleasures and “animal instincts”, i don’t think it’s necessary to make me who i am. i can be content without constant sexual indulgences. the only reason my guy friends know i haven’t gotten any is becuz i tell them, not becuz they’ve seen me “foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers” (lol). it’s not like they look at me thinking: “damn GEM is on some celibacy ish and is a raging b*tch as a result!! we need to break open the emergency D case and give it to her STAT!!”
aside from saving me a trip to the gym in this cold weather, i don’t really see how it could statisically enhance my current state of being.
@Gem of the Ocean, exactly. Can’t nobody tell me I aint happy, I stay smiling and showing my gunshot wounds (some of yall call them dimples…gay). I have SO many things I am doing, want to do, I’m all over the place, and its cause I’m on some renaissance woman type program lmao, every moment counts, and my legacy will not include my sexual exploits.
Not to get too off topic, but I think the problem also lies with how society views youth. I know I missed out on a lot of the sexual rites of passage my peers thought were a matter of life and death, but I really had other priorities. I knew that if I wanted to get on top of my art game, I’d have to put in mad work, I had a lot of other more serious issues I was also dealing with. To be honest, as crazy as it might sound,s*x was far down on my list of priorities. I’ve always associated s*x with a long term relationship, period.
I will say though, it always depends on you. If you feel you can’t function at your best without it,you betta get up, get out and get some. Personally, because its something that you can’t buy at the grocery store, I can’t set myself up that way. Perhaps I have issues being dependant? LOL.
if i HAD to share cortical space with anybody in this world (e- and real), e-twin, it’d be your thugangsta self!! i’m seriously going to google how you can have 1 ovary split/spliced in space, fertilized and implanted in 2 different mothers. it has to be possible. becuz we are a product of such scientific genius….
i was the same youth who felt s3x with dumba$$ teenage boys was just waaaaay overrated. i didn’t even like to share space with them in the halls, let alone some mysterious hidden location sneaking to try and get it in. i had other ish ta do. and i’m still kind of the same way. i’m not the type to take it however i can get it. i guess i’m a romantic in the sense that i want it all—the physical, mental, emotional connection. i want a WHOLE man, not just his goodgotdamn [piece].
@Gem of the Ocean, “if I HAD to share cortical space with anybody in this world (e- and real), e-twin, it’d be your thugangsta self!!”
Likewise!
I definitely thought that s3x with random dudes was overrated, and you are so on point. The reason is because I was looking for it all, the physical, mental, emotional and all the security that brings at like 13 lol. So you know I was looking at these hungry a$$ pre-pubescent lil boys like they was crazy. Plus, I was thinking 1/2 these men don’t give a goodgotdamn about ME so why give him a reason to hit just for some goodgotdamn lol?
@overit,
“I was looking for it all, the physical, mental, emotional and all the security that brings at like 13 lol. ”
Lol.
Personally, not thinking I’ve found these things have prevented me from settling down when presented with the opportunity.
But I don’t see nuthin wrong with a little sumthin sumthin in the mean time. But Gem is correct: expectations, going into it knowing what you are going to get, is important.
@ Vdot, I completely agree. I guess I should preface my comments with the fact that this is what worked for me, and also, I’ve known a lot of the broken, “I feel so used”, depressed types lol. Trust me, I love a woman who knows what she wants and gets it, without feeling guilty cause that’s partly rooted in patriarchy, but like you and Gem said, having expectations and knowing what you are going to get, is important. I just hate when women try to get into that game, then come out all regretful and sh*t lol.
@overit,
“I was thinking 1/2 these men don’t give a goodgotdamn about ME so why give him a reason to hit just for some goodgotdamn lol?”
True indeed.
@Gem of the Ocean & Overit
I’m ready for you two to get a townhouse together, do each other’s hair, share clothes and eat ice cream together straight from the carton while you talk about boys and nail polish and stuff.
now that’s just crazy talk, PBG!! there’s no way we’d fit each other’s clothes! i’d tear hers up and she’d be swimming in mine. we could probably share head scarves tho….
@PBG,
I concur
@PBG,
I’m ready for you two to get a townhouse together, do each other’s hair, share clothes and eat ice cream together straight from the carton while you talk about boys and nail polish and stuff.
pbg, you have forever sullied the masculine image of the very smart brothas with this wretched comment. if riley and springer were able to afford graves, theyd be spinning in them as we speak
@PBG, Gem is skilled in the art of exaggeration, she would fit in my clothes just fine, they would just accentuate all I do not have..smh.
Gem and I would be the best of roomies though, she’d do all the cooking though, I’d swiffer up the place!
i almost rarely ever overexaggerate. come on now!! you know me better than that!! lol ok maybe just a little…
but yeah, i’d cook if you’d be willing to be my test dummy for my new recipes lol
@Champ
Sully deez.
@overit,
I do understand that good D can mellow someone out, but at the end of the day, not every woman who is going D-less is working 60+ hrs, raving, foaming at the mouth, or cursing out innocent by-standers
this is true. many d-less women are just fine, leading upstanding lives and helping old women and young squirrels cross the streets and sh*t. this entry isn’t about them, though…its about the women who, for the sake of their own and everyone else’s sanity, needs a man as soon as f*cking possible.
these women do exist
@The Champ,
yup yup, they are not mythical creatures at all… word to griffins.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
…and gnomes
@SouthernGirl,
y’all are chasing the menfolk away with the menagereie of mythical creatures!!!!
**hides sparkly bag of Diva Dust ™ under her desk**
@blackberry molasses, lol. i couldn’t help myself. i will try to have more sparingly/appropriate uses of gold stars and mythical creatures.
@Gem of the Ocean, I’m with you on your thoughts regarding casual s3x. Back breaking bliss is only temporary; that high inevitably runs its course and then it’s back to looking for something that’s real. That’s what women are missing, something real. Plus I think that for most women it’s actually when they’re relegated to jump-off status that they begin to exhibit more angst, irritability and depressive tendencies. So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple. If more men would recognize this fact, and stop perpetuating this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, and that their wang is all they have to bring to the table, they’d have a lot less drama to deal with.
@Miss Patterson,
“Back breaking bliss is only temporary; that high inevitably runs its course and then it’s back to looking for something that’s real.”
This is crazy talk.
well damn. you bring up some great points, Miss P. droppin knowledge on ‘em. i dig it.
@Gem of the Ocean,
right?!?!
generally, if all a woman needs is a good deep d*ckin, then that can usually be arranged. i think its way more than that. veggie’s right! ive seen more women be awful when they are relegated to “piece on the side”status than if they had just left well enough alone…
too many men think they got the magic stick. i mean, unless that wand of yours can pay off some student loans, im pretty sure it aint all that…
lmao @ “too many men think they got the magic stick. i mean, unless that wand of yours can pay off some student loans, im pretty sure it aint all that…”
a mess!! but sho you right.
@Miss Patterson,
“So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple.”
you said it so much better than I could.
@Miss Patterson,
“this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, and that their wang is all they have to bring to the table”
I guess I’m fortunate enough to have not met many men who’ve perpetrated this ‘myth’. But, wouldn’t this be a myth (if it is at all, cuz I haven’t heard it. lol) that women are responsible for spreading and then making it real in their minds?
I mean, you gotta deal with a man where he his at that point in time (and visa versa) and if a dude isn’t willing to give more than the D to a particular woman is that really is fault? Or is it hers for trying to build something real with him when his actions show he isn’t ready for it, whether it be with her or at that point in his life?
@V.E.G., I think it’s both V. Sometimes women don’t show enough sense, especially when they are in love, and men will take what is given to them without question. Women need to show more sense, and men need to grow a conscious. Since most men, especially at certain ages, will not slow their roll to consider whether a woman is emotionally ready for all their awesomeness, women need to start using the logic God gave them.
@overit,
well said
@V.E.G., thanks. I try to keep up with your zentacular self;)
@overit, ditto.
I mean, you gotta deal with a man where he his at that point in time (and visa versa) and if a dude isn’t willing to give more than the D to a particular woman is that really is fault? Or is it hers for trying to build something real with him when his actions show he isn’t ready for it, whether it be with her or at that point in his life?
i think this is a separate issue all together. need we go there?? lol. but seriously, i KNOW there are many men who think all women need is a good back bending/breaking/blowing experience and they’re cured from whatever ailment, depression, lowered esteem, b*tchiness they are suffering from. and i think a lot of women believe this too. but let me tell you, i tried this “magic elixir” once before, and it had an infinitesimal influence on my life. nothing more disappointing than low achieving… nevermind.
so in reality, i guess it all boils down to expectations and requirements. what is it that you and your partner expect from the situation? what is it that you really need to get to where you wanna go/be? and if all parties are in alignment, goals can be reached. i suppose. idk.
@V.E.G., i hear what you’re saying and I agree wholeheartedly- the responsibility rests on both genders to recognize what he/she is bringing to the table and/or what the other person’s expectations are. I just think that no one should be mislead into thinking that good D is what they should settle for (so that they can ‘feel better’ temporarily) instead of what they want- the whole package. We’ve established here on a number of occasions that the genders are wired differently, so a man is fooling himself if he thinks that a woman is content with getting just a piece of him (both figuratively and literally) and that his piece alone will put an end to all her b*tching… [cue in Guy remix]
@Miss Patterson,
*singin* you can have a piece of my love…waiting for you…girl its true…
@V.E.G.,
If this comment was a 6’1 smart black man, I would marry it.
This whole “Cinderella” construct in the head of little girls have them expecting prince charmings on white horses with every single dude they meet.
We need a new set of bedtime stories for little girls.
@Miss Patterson,
:So, perhaps it’s not good d*ck that women are missing it’s love, pure and simple.”
i was being (somewhat) facetious with the d thing, but although these chicks usually just need to be a decent relationship, “damn…someone please get her some wang soon” not “damn…someone please get her ass someone to cuddle and watch movies with!!” is the prevailing thought in most of our heads after dealing with these unfortunate women
@Miss Patterson,
“this myth that their d*ck is some sort of magic elixir, ”
hmmm i have busted right thru this “myth”
@ Champ & Gem,
wow , this post reminds me of one of my fav movies “deliver us from eva.” i dentify w/the character in many ways (yes, overall i am high strung)…my guy and i are practicing abstinence, but he swears that once i let him in i will loosen up and he’ll have me wrapped around his finger….aoint know…..lol
@kalia,
probably that is defined in the VSB Oxford/Cambridge published dictionary as d!ckmatization.
It gets so good sometimes that your senses take temporary leave only to return after you unwrap yourself from the ceiling.
@malaika,
LOL…..so it’s like that, huh?? there might be hope for me yet!
@kalia,
yeah…that flick, as well as countless others, is actually based on “the taming of the shrew”
@The Champ, you know, the funny thing is we read that in highschool and i can not remember the story for the life of me (probably because i have only skimmed every reading that has been assigned to me from pre-k to grad school…oops). gotta love pop culture for being more memorable!
@kalia,
“…but he swears that once i let him in i will loosen up and he’ll have me wrapped around his finger….”
If that’s your particular kink, I say go for it. I ain’t mad @ ya.
@PBG, LOL……i meant figuratively
@Gem of the Ocean, *clears throat* LOL! I can’t believe you put your business out there. I am dying at my desk. As to you needing some, does anyone really NEED it? I don’t know. could you use some? Yeah sure, why not.
lmao @ “does anyone really NEED it? I don’t know. could you use some? Yeah sure, why not.”
exactly!!! i don’t have a shortage of potential. but most of them i’m not sure i want going deep sea diving to capture my oyster’s pearl…. we’ll see…
@Gem of the Ocean, ok only a woman would dare say coffee can sub for the D…look I drink but aint a bottle out there better than whats between a womans’ legs
And I cant see what wrong with casual relations.
As a whole we are NOT a marrying generation..fools shack up for yrs to realize the mistake maybe they should have just “did it for the season” but noooo he HAD to move in.
p.s. Condi–OMG!! she actually looks… well, great! and her HAIR is just… i mean… i’m… uhhh…. speechless. really. wowsers.
@Gem of the Ocean, I’m shocked @ Condi myself. Perhaps now that she is to be associated with one of the worst administrations ever, she decided to salvage the one thing she could, her fashon sense.
@overit,
I think Condi has always been fashion conscious. She wore some straight hooker boots at some high profile event…the pics were every where. And she WAS shopping at Ferragamo when Katrina hit.
Methinks she was puttin together a look she felt was appropriate for her gig (I mean, even Michelle O. was rocking sweater sets, something I think should be banished) while secretly rocking skinny jeans and peep toe platforms at home.
The hair is a different story…
@V.E.G., I agree she was putting together a look that fit her job, but I think there is a balance that most women in office do not meet. In their efforts to prove themselves capable, they forget they are women lol. The hair was the biggest slap to my face. WHY Condi, WHY? Is it cause she was raised by 2520s and never learned how to properly fix her hair, or what styles suited her? Actually, that can’t be it, I know her hairdresser is Black. I can’t call it.
@overit,
“there is a balance that most women in office do not meet. In their efforts to prove themselves capable, they forget they are women lol.”
So true, so true.
The hair…yeah. It was truly a national tragedy to see her busted hair. I think Condi’s hair was the worst thing about the Bush administration. I’m hoping she can get a new somebody to work on her ‘do.
I think Condi’s hair was the worst thing about the Bush administration.
oh boy do i agree. must we suffer economically, foreign relation-ally (i know, i know) AND visually?? i mean damn. give us a break!
@Gem of the Ocean, the Bush administration just looked raggedy, on paper, in person, from near and far, just a hot mess.
lmao yes indeed!
@Gem of the Ocean,
Exactly. Gas in Chicago was inching towards $5 a gallon, our international reputation was in the toilet, the deficit was reaching historical proportions, major corporations were folding. AND we had to look at that hair.
Overit said it best: the Bush administration just looked raggedy, on paper, in person, from near and far, just a hot mess.
@Gem of the Ocean, I wanna see how ya hair look when ya runnin all through the damn middle eat with 130 degree weather. She aint had no time for a wash and set (no homo, NTTAWT)
peyso—that’s why it’s so important to know your hair!! know what products and styles work on your hair in different conditions to keep it right. some one with lots of $$$ and hook ups has no reason walkin around lookin crazy on the home turf. NONE at all!!
@Peyso,
So according to your logic, all (black) women in hot, humid weather have busted hair?
I beg to differ. And most don’t have half the resources Ms. Rice dispose of.
She just wanted to look bushadministration compliant.
@V.E.G.,
Hey, Condi is on the job market now, so she needed to change stuff up.
Never know who she is going to interview with….
@Gem of the Ocean, regarding Condi…all I can say is it’s about time.
WHAT do you have against the aware Black woman?
@Jen,
honestly sometimes it just makes my dic soft.
@Deviant, “@Jen,
honestly sometimes it just makes my dic soft.”
LoL. . . damn!
@Deviant,
Enjoy your undereducated whitewashed children.
@Jen,
I never said I wasn’t aware of the plight of those of us who have more melanin than most. Just because I don’t want to be showered with awareness all day doesn’t mean I lack it. I’d rather not spend my time being the chior for someone to preach to.
I said, “enjoy,” sir!
@Jen,
why did I think of Fez when I read that
Fes = F.E.S. = foreign exchange student
@Jen,
good question
Remember that episode of $ex in the City when Samantha met that yoga instructor who was super $exy to her, and then she found out he was celibate, which was why he had soooo much $exual energy harnessed inside waiting to be unleashed, so it just made him walking $exuality on a stick, irresistable and desireable even.
That’s not true. I’ve been without relations for a while now, and in my opinion, it makes me more of a cornball than I actually am. When I have an active $ex life, that’s when I have an aura of sensuality, not when I’ve been pipeless for months.
That is all.
@Fly…,
Remember that episode of $ex in the City when Samantha met that yoga instructor who was super $exy to her, and then she found out he was celibate, which was why he had soooo much $exual energy harnessed inside waiting to be unleashed, so it just made him walking $exuality on a stick, irresistable and desireable even?
no
@The Champ, lol
@Fly…,
His was tantric and spiritual… so a bit different.
That’s probably why?
*chews ice cubes and exits post*
@charli skipper,
lmao!!
@charli skipper, Sonic sells crushed ice right at their little drive thru for cheap.
I TOTALLY can realte to her. I was her on so many levels… UNTIL I got some regularly!!! BUT now I don’t and I can feel ‘her’ coming back.
In short of placing a sign on my chest that says, ‘Free *****’, I’m doing my best to chose my JO (jump off) carefully. It ain’t easy dusting off old ‘good’ D. (I’ll never cut off spare D until I get a ring that seals the deal) It’s a recession all over!!!
Anyway, in the meantime, I’m keeping a smile and my short fuses to a minimum. Thanks for the reminder Champ!
@Daydreamer,
lmao…you aint neva lied. it sucks when you lose your “old standby”…sometimes i think i might like to get some regularly again. but then i think about the prospect of having to train new dack….man, i cant be bothered. i got thangs to do!
@shatani, Hoooonnnneeeeyyy say that thing! Who has time to train??!!!!! Speak girl, speak!
@shatani, exactly the point I made about men being celibate may not be what women want (and yea shorty said she had no problem being that guys rainmaker-yea well she wont be raining…this is one of those things esp in todays time sounds good but it aint)…when we go with out it its like holding your breath. It dont take long to want to get a LOOOOOONG, DEEEP breath out-you almost have to (wet dreams).
But yea whats the tell tale sign “she aint had none in a while” women dont have the equivalent of premature ejaculation..other than OD’ing on her reactions which doesnt upset me as PE would the women, there is nothing much for a man to lose if yall are celibate (she MAY not being into giving BJ or felation but she just might be).
But if we have been MIA with the gushy stuff yall dont like it..and thats the womens conumdrum. Yall want us to rock your world. But. The best male lovers have been with lots of women in their time. Repitition is the only way men can become better and consistent at sex.
Dont hate the player…hate biology
@temps,
yeah, i didnt follow that at all.
@Daydreamer,
no problem and sh*t
vsb.com: keeping women weened on wang since 1913
Question for Champ, if sexless women= combative, what does sexless man=? (Sociopath?)
Is this the reason men are running amok? Because there are so many women who NEED to be serviced (for the sake of the community), and so little time?
I am being serious here; the point of your post is that if you are going without sex, you need to get some and quickfast. How do you propose women do this? Are there any caveats? And can you concede that it is possible a woman is going sexless and is happy and not exhibiting any of the signs listed above?
@overit,
“he point of your post is that if you are going without sex, you need to get some and quickfast. How do you propose women do this?”
Say hello to a man.
@overit,
what does sexless man=? (Sociopath?)
Yep!
::snicker::
i second this lol
I am curious to the answer to this….
@overit,
sexless man= guy with a tired dominant hand who is low on tissues and lotion, yet still smiling
guys can be so indiscriminate when it comes to sex sometimes(jmo)…..fantasy vs. real, cuddy buddy vs. girlfriend, his hand vs. a woman’s body….at some basic level, i think it’s all the same to them (or at least enough for them to avoid a syndrome when they aren’t getting any)…..
@overit,
Question for Champ, if sexless women= combative, what does sexless man=? (Sociopath?)
two words: suicide bomber
i’m not even being facetious here. i read an article a year or so ago about how young, single men in countries that practice polygamy organizations are typically the ones drawn to organizations like al-qaeda, and the promise of the “36 virgins” in the afterlife is a huge part of the allure.
basically, these are men who aren’t getting any on earth, so they figure that the afterlife can’t possibly be any worse.
@The Champ,
OMG – I thought this myself. Especially the part with the 36 virgins. Git outta my head, Champ!
@Lil’T,
nope. its strange and comfy in there
@The Champ,
two words: suicide bomber
i’m not even being facetious here. i read an article a year or so ago about how young, single men in countries that practice polygamy organizations are typically the ones drawn to organizations like al-qaeda, and the promise of the “36 virgins” in the afterlife is a huge part of the allure.
basically, these are men who aren’t getting any on earth, so they figure that the afterlife can’t possibly be any worse.
OK,clearly someone watches Fox News with reckless abandon, without going completely OFF that opinion was not the one I was looking for. I say opinion because while I am resolute in my judgment, I enjoy hearing others points of view.
I’m not going to go into a history lesson here, nor will I lay out the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How of the Palestinian/Israeli conference, I will simply say that to equate the plight of Palestinians (suicide bombers or not) to the consequence a sexless life was irresponsible and just ill-informed. I might have even dismissed the comment as an attempt to be funny, but you killed that by declaring”
“i’m not even being facetious here”
Now, my question is this, in the article you read these men were young, single and residing in countries that practice polygamy. Did they mention these men are also born in refugee camps, sometimes down the street from their original home, suffer the indignity of occupation every day, have been castrated from their role as men and cannot move freely in the land of their forefathers without running into a checkpoint where they are most often dehumanized?
“basically, these are men who aren’t getting any on earth, so they figure that the afterlife can’t possibly be any worse.”
What are you basing this on? Was this also in that article? Do you really think that when a man is occupied, tortured, and has lived his life to the soundtrack of gunshots and his mother’s anguish, he is really thinking about getting some? I’m sorry but this whole answer just seemed extremely narrow and oblivious to the plight of people outside America. I am in no way, shape, or form condoning suicide bombing, but you must know that men and women who are recruited to engage in such acts, as well as people like Timothy McVeigh, are people who are on the fringe of society. The most dangerous man is one who has nothing to lose, and these people have NOTHING to lose, not a home, land, dignity, sanity or freedom. Instead of addressing these issues, people reduce it to a promise of 70 virgins (not 36). This is an attempt to ignore the real plight of these people, and the root of the whole crisis. It is sad that news outlets give airtime to the words of terrorists, and none to the people who suffer under both the terrorists, as well as those trying to defeat the terrorists.
This may have been long winded, but it could have been a lot longer, with footnotes and everything. S*x might be the be-all, end-all of life in America, but there are people in other parts of the world who are literally trying to survive, and s*x IS a luxury in that case.
@overit, what you just posted might be called a wet, moldy, stank blanket.
@overit,
here’s some text from the article i referenced
“…The surprising answer from the evolutionary psychological perspective is that Muslim suicide bombing may have nothing to do with Islam or the Koran (except for two lines in it). It may have nothing to do with the religion, politics, the culture, the race, the ethnicity, the language, or the region. As with everything else from this perspective, it may have a lot to do with sex, or, in this case, the absence of sex.
What distinguishes Islam from other major religions is that it tolerates polygyny. By allowing some men to monopolize all women and altogether excluding many men from reproductive opportunities, polygyny creates shortages of available women. If 50 percent of men have two wives each, then the other 50 percent don’t get any wives at all.
So polygyny increases competitive pressure on men, especially young men of low status. It therefore increases the likelihood that young men resort to violent means to gain access to mates. By doing so, they have little to lose and much to gain compared with men who already have wives. Across all societies, polygyny makes men violent, increasing crimes such as murder and rape, even after controlling for such obvious factors as economic development, economic inequality, population density, the level of democracy, and political factors in the region.
However, polygyny itself is not a sufficient cause of suicide bombing. Societies in sub-Saharan Africa and the Caribbean are much more polygynous than the Muslim nations in the Middle East and North Africa. And they do have very high levels of violence. Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from a long history of continuous civil wars—but not suicide bombings.
The other key ingredient is the promise of 72 virgins waiting in heaven for any martyr in Islam. The prospect of exclusive access to virgins may not be so appealing to anyone who has even one mate on earth, which strict monogamy virtually guarantees. However, the prospect is quite appealing to anyone who faces the bleak reality on earth of being a complete reproductive loser.
It is the combination of polygyny and the promise of a large harem of virgins in heaven that motivates many young Muslim men to commit suicide bombings. Consistent with this explanation, all studies of suicide bombers indicate that they are significantly younger than not only the Muslim population in general but other (nonsuicidal) members of their own extreme political organizations like Hamas and Hezbollah. And nearly all suicide bombers are single.”
@The Champ,
“What distinguishes Islam from other major religions is that it tolerates polygyny”
I won’t go into the fine points of why I dismiss this article, but in short:
The biggest hurdle for the Muslim world and Muslims to conquer is the culture vs. religion one. There are so many cultural practices that are against Islam, but for whatever reason, are seen as Islamic. This is a problem and really frustrating. The Islamic precedent for polygamy was to account for the handicapped, the ill, the “discarded” of society. Islamically, there are so many conditions that must be met to engage in polygamy, if someone were to really be following the letter, they would avoid it. Of course, men being men, polygamy is engaged in and they are most certainly not looking to take care of the women nobody wants to take care of. They engage in it to satisfy their own sexual needs in a way that will be accepted by society.
Polygamy is not practiced widely at all in Palestine, and anyone who is familiar with the Middle East knows this. If anything, it’s practiced even more in W. Africa. Its obvious the author of this article did not know this, but hey, we had Karen Hughes representing America to the outside world and if she could know so little about other countries, I guess this author could as well. Even in Saudi Arabia, where it is practiced the most, I would say it is the single digits. The scores of single women in Saudi Arabia prove this.
Has anyone taken the history and circumstance of the last 10 suicide bombers, or are we projecting our stereotypical views on a people, per usual?
Because women outnumber men anywhere (and it stands to reason that this is more the case in a conflict country) this author’s simple math of “If 50 percent of men have two wives each, then the other 50 percent don’t get any wives at all” is so 5th grade I could not find the energy to refute it.
The more realistic problem that prevents men from getting married in the countries is that of the excessive dowry. They put such a high dowry on marriage, when these men do not have money, they make it impossible for these men to marry.
However, polygyny itself is not a sufficient cause of suicide bombing. Societies in sub-Saharan Africa and the Caribbean are much more polygynous than the Muslim nations in the Middle East and North Africa. And they do have very high levels of violence. Sub-Saharan Africa suffers from a long history of continuous civil wars—but not suicide bombings.
So why is suicide bombing not prevalent in Africa?
Whenever you are in this extreme conditions, then you are pushed by extremists, you will act in an extreme way. It has little to do with the issue of s*x.
I do agree that a single person is more likely to become a suicide bomber, but that is because they are single. A single person anywhere will inherently take more risk.
my e-twin, the gangsta of knowledge.
i’m waiting for your album release party. i imagine track titles to be something like “Hamas, Ho*s, and History” and “I Slam You Slam, We All Screem for Islam” and “One Man’s Dimple is Another Man’s Gunshot Wound”.
of course, these are all working titles. we can tweek them as the debut date draws nearer. you can take over creative license, i mean i’m open to constructive criticism.
@Gem of the Ocean, DEAD @ these working titles, and here I am working on a trilogy:
“We all God’s seed”
“Fox News Lied”
and “Jesus Cried and Died, so why you actin a fool?!”
@Gem of the Ocean, actually, this is going to be a lot longer than I thought, “Hamas, Hos and history” is sure to be a hit.
“One Man’s Dimple is Another Man’s Gunshot Wound”. This will be my personal story to be aired on Lifetime.
that trilogy is gonna be tight dun son!!! OMG i can’t wait!! with our e-twin gang signs and e-twin crip walking choreography, your seuss rhymes, and your utter thuggishness, you album is sure to be a hit!! we gonna promo like a mutha!!
@overit,
MESSAGE!
well damn. my e-twin just wrote the intro of her dissertation on “Why Champers Should Just Keep His Trap Shut Since He Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About To Begin With…. Just Babbling To See Himself Babble”.
when can we expect to see chapters 2-3??
great point of view, e-twin. i think you pointed out a lot of factors that many ppl don’t realize or choose to overlook becuz they only see radical behaviors as just that–radical and irrational. yet, they are very rational when you think of the environments many of these “radicals” come from. sometimes we don’t bother to step outside of our little worlds to dig deeper.
@Gem of the Ocean, right. When you study this stuff you wonder why the basic root of the conflict are being ignored, is it to perpetuate the cycle of violence? We can see this in our own communities, we have a band-aid solution for a lot of these problems, but aint nobody trying to tackle the root causes of crackheadishness.
@overit,
And can you concede that it is possible a woman is going sexless and is happy and not exhibiting any of the signs listed above?
yea…i mentioned this upthread. there are mythical women who are single and sexless and happier than a puppy the day after christmas.
again, though…this entry isn’t about those chicks.
@The Champ, yeah I saw that. I appreciate it.
@overit,
Ahem. I believe this sister has made several noteworthy points.
yes, my e-twin is on point!! small head but fully functional cerebrum inside!!
@Gem of the Ocean, that’r right e-twin, peanuts are smart.
***btw, this “organizer” was also nicknamed “t-mac” because of her terry mcmillan stan-dom and her odd resemblance to tracy mcgrady.***
this right here? redonkulous! lmao!
@shatani,
yeah…her eyes used to bother me. i have nothing more to say about her, because she still scares me
Well I don’t like this post at all. (means I’m the sista that’s not gettin any) And I would thank you not to post topics of this nature, Champ. (stop callin me out damn it) Not all women fit this build (yes we do) and I’m discouraged that you would make such a BLANKET statement. (I need to be under some blankets wit a strong-back brotha) Now having said that, I’m done. (But not really cause I’ll be back tomorrow) I would just hope that the fine people here, including myself, have motivated you to stop making these generalizations of women. (even though this one is true)
@RedBeanzNRice,
Too funny!!! I ain’t mad at ya, RBNR. Not mad at all.
@RedBeanzNRice,
lol…this was funny, redbeanznrice. welcome and sh*t (i think)
@The Champ,
Ty kindly for the welcome and sh*t. Your site makes my day every day!
lmao!! the parenthetical statements are the best!!
p.s. red beans and rice is one of my favorite dishes. Killa K (VSB-er here in Pgh) threw down on some this weekend. yummers
@Gem of the Ocean,
Mine too! I’m gonna have to track you down so I can get a plate. This sista ain’t too proud to beg, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Yeah I was just thinkin how hungry I am right about now. So I’ma go downstairs to the Popeye’s Chicken.
@WuDaMan,
Wow. What? You live on the roof of Popeye’s chicken? See, that’s the kind of living situation I need – rooftop access.
@RedBeanzNRice,
There is a foodcourt downstairs from my building @ work.
@WuDaMan,
Oh. Sorry bout that. I just assumed everybody’s at home today like me, lol. Well, enjoy your lunch and the rest of your day. It’s my naptime, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Wow. What? You live on the roof of Popeye’s chicken?.
lol…this made me literally laugh aloud
hmmm….is it always true?? what of those of use who remain virgins? or those who have, up to this point, only had bad sex? are we REALLY missing something we’ve never had? or do we just go about our merry way because we dont know what we’re missing.
can a woman be in serious need if she’s actually never had what she “needs”?? i could see being irritable because you know that goodie-goodie does exist and you have indeed partook (partaken? aww hell, its 5am!)….but can you miss what hasnt been?
@shatani,
I just have a question? Are you truly virginal? No “handlin’ ” up at all on your part? I had my v-card til 21, but had been handlin’ thangs since about 14…lmao
Just wondering, because if you’ve truly never felt it, then you really don’t know what you’re missing, but if you have an idea…that’s a bit different.
“those who have, up to this point, only had bad sex?”
How would you know what bad sex is, if you’ve never had good sex?
…just wondering…
oh you know alright! *smh* trust me, i’ve known…
Holla.
Gem & 8th,
Your statements make me sad…everyone is entitled to mindblowing s3x…everyone. At least once…d@mn.
it made me sad too once upon a time… not every man is equipped to give it to a girl how she needs/likes/wants
@Gem of the Ocean,
say it again!
oh, and for the record…im not particularly virginal, and ive had some good sex. but mindblowing? nah…the type that’ll have me fiending? nah…
so, ive gone vast periods of time without it and been alright….some people hear about my last hiatus and their knees buckle! lmao (it was six years)
@AkShone,
you figure it out…you hear what its supposed to be like and realize what you got is sorely lacking!
@shatani, i feel you girl….i can’t miss what i’ve never experienced!! yearn, yes…but miss, no. so the way i see it, life only has to get better from here!
@shatani,
can a woman be in serious need if she’s actually never had what she “needs”??
why is the sky blue? why is water wet? why did judas rat the romans while Jesus slept?
@The Champ,
why is the sky blue? why is water wet? why did judas rat the romans while Jesus slept?
Thank you for quoting GFK so early this morning…lol
@The Champ,
stand up
you outta luck like 2 dogs stuck
I still remember in the video when he stood up as he said stand up
I love the 4th Chamber.
@The Champ,
that was one one GFK’s greatest lines!!! yezzir!!!
@shatani,
what i was meaning to say is that interestingly enough my pastor answered this question yesterday. Unless you were born with the ‘spiritual gift’ of being a eunuch, the answer is “YOU NEED SEX.”
sometimes he keeps it hilariously real.
@blackberry molasses,
I know I neeeded it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before I got it. But I wanted it to be right so I waited. ( more like my grandmother had me under her watchful eyes 24/7)
@blackberry molasses,
i like how its a spiritual gift! lmao
@shatani,
As a virgin, you’ve never experienced it… So you might not be part of the (very real) group Champ is talking about.
If you’re really a virgin, you’re moody regardless. Once that “glory gate” is broken, you’ll forever know what you’ve been missing, if you don’t get any after that.
@RedBeanzNRice,
the glory gate?
@The Champ,
“glory gate” conjures up images of pain and stampedes for me. Ouch.
@PBG,
“glory gate” conjures up images of pain and stampedes for me. Ouch.
*dead*
“glory gate” conjures up images of pain and stampedes for me. Ouch.
i cant say thats not what it was like! lmao…ouch indeed!
@The Champ,
The hymen.
Well I could be her but I know myself pretty well and when I know I’m heading there I get myself sorted.
JO’s have to be chosen carefully nothing like craving it then getting disappointed messes your mood more.
However most of these women never realize it AT ALL!!
making our lives miserable.
But there are those who change so drastically that even tho she’s trying to hide it the whole office knows who got some
not that I’m the type
@malaika wako,
But there are those who change so drastically that even tho she’s trying to hide it the whole office knows who got some
not that I’m the type
***inserting more people***
@The Champ,
I got armies behind me lol that enough more peoples?
@malaika,
who is “armies”, and when does one person constitute “more people”?
@The Champ,
me and the rest of my names lol I could have multiple personalities you know…
What people don’t realize is this goes for men as well, my friend was poonless (read as snappy nappy dug out-less) for like a year and he was like an old evil man, then he got some and he was laid back, even dressed better. So sex for everyone, man and women. Lack of sex is dangerous for us all and people without it can become very dangerous.
@J. McFly,
I agree. Everyone needs it.
@J. McFly,
I think guys are more aware of this affliction and want to do everything they can to cure it. I see more women in denial of this. I’ve never encountered a man that said this was not a problem.
@Deviant,
i agree and sh*t. how we gonna be in denial when most of us can’t even swim?
(ok…that worked much better in my head. trust me)
Womp.
I concur
@Deviant, exaclty we will never say we can do with out women or sex is overrated and all that. Now if a man is getting like a rapper on tour he may take a break and that break is dependent on how much he was getting.
Oh Champ – why do you and P Money love pushing the ladies buttons?? Hmmm? The song’s instructions were to “Loosen Up My Buttons” not just push them!!
When we say someone needs some D in their life….here’s what’s missing. GOOD D. I’m talking that out of control, how did that get broken, touch-o-brimstone, where are my damn panties kinda good. Not just some ole lower case d. I think that horrible “d” is responsible for more sour women than no “d”.
Soooo…..don’t just type about it – be about it! Gather the men you know, offer a few drinks and find the following information for your VSS’s:
Height
Shoe Size
Face pic
Body pic
Chexual Style
Perversions
Availability
VSS Rating
You could even add a nominal “finders fee” to the service. Ignore any pesky solicitation laws.
@Lil’T,
I think the fact that you even listed these categories is symptomatic of d!cklessness. All that crap is irrelevant.
My sweet Deviant,
If you can find 10 women to say that the aforementioned qualities are irrelevant in someone they want to slap bellies with, I will gladly mail you a money order for $10.
@Lil’T,
Height – really isn’t important. Some think it is. It isn’t. I can’t reach the top shelf and most every woman I’ve been with has been taller than me.
Shoe Size – this is fallacy and has nothing to do with anything.
Face pic – I know ugly a$$ dudes that stay knee deep in quality poon.
Body pic – same goes for this (speaking on men built like potato sacks).
Chexual Style – how will you even know this till after he has banged.
Perversions – how will you know this till after he has peed on you
Availability – I know this is/should be important but I know its not important to some as it is to others.
VSS Rating – why do you care what other girls think if you like it? Plus we all know women are not there to help you.
we all also know that what you guys say and what actually happens are miles apart.
…and this ^^^^…is keepin’ it real, lol.
@AkShone,
Yes it is…lol!!
@AkShone,
fabulous!!! deevs, you got a way with words!
“how will you know until he pees on you?” hilarity!
@Deviant,
I can concede the point about height – the biggest wang I evaaaaah saw was on a guy who was only 2 inches taller than me – and I ain’t tall. But he still wore a size 13 shoe and could palm my whole head. Just freaking e-normous.
….*blinking*…….
Anyway – I’m still waiting for 10 actual women to back you up that none of these things would matter in a sex partner. *old school jeopardy music playing*
@Lil’T,
I don’t expect nor do I need any women to back me up. I am my own more people. Like i said “we all also know that what you guys say and what actually happens are miles apart.”
@Deviant,
You can add PBG to your roster of “more people”.
I support your un-doing of Lil’ T’s list.
@PBG –
Wha..? How…?? Whyyeee, PBG??? Didn’t I save you a plate at the office Thanksgiving potluck?? I know it was stolen by my hefty co-worker, but isn’t it the thought that counts?
@Deviant,
I understand, Lil’ T and I thank you for the thought. I hope your portly co-worker chokes on the bones of MY chicken wings.
But right is right and Deviant is right this go ’round. I’m a chick through and through and even I that chick logic can be dangerous…or at the least, disruptive. We be doin’ too much half the time.
*shrug*
@PBG,
never let fat people get in front of you in a buffet line or ye shalt starve
@Deviant,
i know you dont need, but add me to the list too….the biggest wang ive seen was on a dude 5’7 (im 5’10) and couldnt have been more than 150 pounds! his feet werent big either…that stuff is all a bunch of nonsense.
big hands though…i like them for what they are! lol…i dont think they indicate anything down below.
@Lil’T,
I am one of his more people.
(Reached 10 yet?)
@Deviant,
Perversions – how will you know this till after he has peed on you
this made me spit out my brisket and gravy
@The Champ,
Bwuaaahahhahaahaa
It’s the mental picture of the airborn bolus of beef being trailed by weightless balls of gravy. ha aha hahahaha
@WuDaMan,
you can never go wrong with alliteration
@Deviant, once again aint a man out there gonna say theres a such a thing as bad puss..if the guys yall picking are lame then re-evalute what made you pick them. I cant answer for a man that struck out with women, yall picked him.
I sure as hell dont know what leads yall to think a guy is a great lay? Lemme guese the overrated height factor? You know just cause she gotta phatty doesnt mean she gonna get freaky at all…in fact as men sometimes we joke about it.
@Lil’T,
Chexual Style??
@The Champ,
“some masked mandingo broke in, bent her over the trashbin in the breakroom, tied her hands to the blender, and blew her back out like bob backlund.”
vs.
“some masked mandigo broke into her apartment, ran a warm bath with scented oils, sprinkled rose petals all over the carpet and massaged her tired feet in said tub before blowing her back out like bob buckland.”
Chexual Style.
@Lil’T,
I think I still prefer the 1st scenario…lol
@miss t-lee,
You and me both, Miss T-Lee.
“I think I still prefer the 1st scenario”
@miss t-lee, yeah me too. but my break room doesn’t have a blender. perhaps i can suggest this at the next departmental meeting. lol…
@Miss Patterson,
We don’t either…
but we do have a water cooler….lmao!!!
…I suggest using the coffee maker. It’s stable and you can make yourself a cup to nurse your broken back.
@AkShone,
See I almost typed the coffee maker but went with the water cooler instead…
I see freaky folks think alike…lol
well damn. i need to set up scenario #2…. sounds delightful.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Gem-Gem, it sounds the concept for a video for Joe or some other 90′s R&B cat, in which case…I’ll be asleep within a matter of minutes.
Ho-hum on that joint, girly! LOL!
LOL. good sleep is what this gem is missing!!
@PBG,
I don’t know, PBG – I’ve actually had scenario 2 done to me (minus the masked stranger part) and it was soooooooo on point. Then again, the right man can take you from scenario 1 to scenario 2 and back again…
@Lil’T, I am still dying laughing at “lower case d”…which sucks by the way.
@The Queen,
Thanks, Queen. Bad “d” is worse than no “d” anyday!
That’s one for me.
@Lil’T,
“GOOD D. I’m talking that out of control, how did that get broken, touch-o-brimstone, where are my damn panties kinda good.”
I co-sign, and don’t forget “Damn it, I ain’t got no money to be gettin this damn headboard fixed.”
I hope you enlighten us all to the symptoms related to the lack of ahem…relations…in men.
I’m just saying, equal opportunity over here in VSB-land.
@PBG,
lmao! *wating patiently*
@PBG,
Two words for you: black sniper. Do we need further evidence?
@Lil’T,
also terrorism. None of those guys gets any a$$
@PBG, who ever said VSB was equal opportunity?
@Panama Jackson,
@PBG, who ever said VSB was equal opportunity?
i’m thinking the same thing. ya’ll have ya’ll own blogs and sh*t, lol
@The Champ,
I guess you must continue to do whatever it is that gets you hits. Kudos to the VSB’s.
Can I send you a suggestion for a blog topic?
@PBG,
Can I send you a suggestion for a blog topic?
please do
@PBG, “I hope you enlighten us all to the symptoms related to the lack of ahem…relations…in men. ”
I can comment on this one here . . . being deployed twice meant going 4 months at a time without getting any . . . ( possibilities were there, but losing stripes/money for some rotten adulterous desert queen made me sick to my stomach ) . . . I will say that I was HIGHLY irritable every time even with the spank tank set up in the tent . . . I’m here searching these third country nationals and being a d!ck, which I normally am not . . . to me, a lot of the fun in having relations is the excitement/thrill of the chase, knowing that the next 4 months there will be absolutely nothing going on made me go crazy.
People start looking good that you would normally not pay attention to . . . subtle things like the shapely girl in the cafeteria that you can see the @ss through the uniform . . . lack of chach screws up your perception (mine anyway) . . . when I got back I was trying to nail down the first thing walking . . . I would like to think I was lucky that I valued money over getting it in because there were definitely people getting into problems because they were “dumpster diving” and having a little too much fun at the barriers . . . luckily I was only there for four months at a time. . . the army folks out there for 15 months + have to be going through it.
@IVR,
Desert Queen – I heard this term from my SO…he would co-sign on all your statements!
@Lil’T, “Desert Queen – I heard this term from my SO…he would co-sign on all your statements!”
It got so bad that we had to adjust scales. They say a man loses 2 points and a woman gains 4 in the desert. . .converting a 6 into a dime . . . I definitely don’t miss THOSE days.
@IVR,
When my SO described the situation and sliding scale to me my first thought was, “Sounds like the reverse of the DC metro area.” you’ve come to the right place to make up for the desert, lol!
” will say that I was HIGHLY irritable every time even with the spank tank set up in the tent”
Spank…
…Tank?
*blink*
@8th Wonder,
I had the same rxn e-twin… i just decided that its better to NOT KNOW.
@8th Wonder, “” will say that I was HIGHLY irritable every time even with the spank tank set up in the tent”
Spank…
…Tank?
*blink*”
Ahh, u know the spank tank, the sheet over the top bunk draping down so you can have a little privacy to do. . . whatever it is u do when you are alone . . .
@IVR,
hmmm….i’ve never heard of military goggles before. i might hafta add this to the glossary
@The Champ, “hmmm….i’ve never heard of military goggles before. i might hafta add this to the glossary”
Yeah bro, I don’t know any military person (ex or current) that doesn’t know about the desert syndrome. Maybe the spouses but they have their own syndrome . . . After a group deploys at a base, hit the club up and see the amount of women with ring shadows on their left hands. . . . so sad.
“some masked mandingo broke in, bent her over the trashbin in the breakroom, tied her hands to the blender, and blew her back out ”
*Reminds myself to somehow work this into tonight’s “me time” festivities.*
LOL!!!! I try dayum hard not to be that girl, and we all know one. Riddle me this:
I have a cousin who’s getting it on the regular and she’s still extra evil and b*tchy…what gives?
To throw ya’ll under the bus as well, some of you guys also emit certain behaviors (b*tchazzness) as well if you’re suffering from SBU (sperm back up) as I like to call it.These are also the same kats who swear up and down they don’t “handle” themselves. It starts backing up into your brain therefore making ya’ll just as flippin’ crazy.
You’re welcome…lol
@miss t-lee,
lol at SBU got to use it before tommorrow
@malaika,
Go right ahead…lol
@miss t-lee,
I have a cousin who’s getting it on the regular and she’s still extra evil and b*tchy…what gives?
some people are just bad people.
Wow…the ladies have taken this thing over.
Not all women who are lacking the appropriate dosage of vitamin D are b*tches, and not all women who are b*tches are lacking vitamin D…but MOST of the women who are constantly in an extreme state of b*tchiness are lacking vitamin D.
It may, or may not, be you…but if the shoe fits, buy an outfit to match.
He has spoken.
@Cornell Westside,
And it is a vicious cycle, bc the b*tchiness a lot of time hurts her chances of getting quality D (note I said quality)and the lack of quality D contributes to the said b*tchiness…. circle of life and sh*t….
@Cornell Westside,
Not all women who are lacking the appropriate dosage of vitamin D are b*tches, and not all women who are b*tches are lacking vitamin D…but MOST of the women who are constantly in an extreme state of b*tchiness are lacking vitamin D.
in a nutshell
hehe… he said nutshell in reference to vitamin D….
@Gem of the Ocean,
lol
Another thought. It is not that some good D is the Panacea or some sh*t. But some good O, whether self induced or helped along by an outside party can’t hurt. If I had to choose how to get my endorphins I would surely choose a good O every time.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I’m with you on this. Sometimes the path to O is through D, sometimes it’s through me….
ahhhhhh the pathways of life…
@Lil’T,
And when it’s through me, I don’t have the “man issues” to deal with after. Ninja’s looking for mac n’ cheese or loud snoring. Oh, and my soul remains in tact, which is better than everything.
@PBG,
Dang that pesky soul! It seems to get in the way of like, 95% of my fun….
So you’re saying I can sign you up to bring mac n’ cheese to the VSB holiday potluck?
“Dang that pesky soul! It seems to get in the way of like, 95% of my fun…. ”
Yeah, my soul is constantly standing in the way of my happiness, son.
@Lil’T,
Yes, I’m always good for bringing mac n’ cheese. You can put me down for that.
In a nutshell, Make Love, Not War.
Or in the undieing words of Jerry Springer, “Take Care Of Yourself…And Each Other.”
@Monk,
that was deep son
@Deviant,
this was deep and sh*t, which is why they call him the monk
@The Champ,
Yeah I want to thank him for stopping by and interupting his meditating and offer him some choice beer, beer recipies and beer ideas.
@WuDaMan,
Thank you kindly, WuDaMan. I will accept all three.
“some masked mandingo broke in, bent her over the trashbin in the breakroom, tied her hands to the blender, and blew her back out like bob backlund. ”
Inserts finger to half open lips here. Da**mit!
“during “outings” with her girls, she keeps tabs on who does or doesn’t show up”
This is me.. although I don’t flip out, I simply stop inviting. LOL.
Although I’m lacking the D (will be a year in January), I don’t think I’m turning into a hardass…. thank the bullet and the battery pack! My lack of pounding is all due to these wack arse candidates.. .can’t be just letting anyone into my Diamond paradise.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Although I’m lacking the D (will be a year in January),
You too?! *daps*
@miss t-lee, wow. just wow. not that anything’s wrong with that, lol.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
LOL!!! Thankx miss alise.
@Relax, Relate, Alise,
I had the exact same thought.
@miss t-lee, Daps back… yes, ma’am…. Sometimes I dang near want to call up an old mistake but I’m making it. LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
There’s been a few times this year that I almost called up an old mistake or two…lol
Stay strong chick!
@miss t-lee, I am trying!
@Nicki Sunshine,
hmmmmm. this…
“Although I’m lacking the D (will be a year in January), I don’t think I’m turning into a hardass”
and this…
“during “outings” with her girls, she keeps tabs on who does or doesn’t show up”
This is me.. although I don’t flip out, I simply stop inviting. LOL.
…dont match, lol. me thinks someone been spending too much time swimming in famous african rivers
@The Champ,
the niger river?
@Dorian G., nope. lol…the nile= denial.
@Miss Patterson,
sorry bout that i think i didn’t put on my sarcasm-lock before i replied
;-p
what she said.
@Deviant, LOL. Okay, so maybe I am a hardass, but that was waaaayyy before the Missing D. LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
I was referring to Miss P’s reference to d’Nile.
@Nicki Sunshine,
nicki boo, can we talk…for a minute?
@Dorian G., We shall.. you trying to get me off my hiatus? LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
relax boo, lets take it slow. trust me we’ll get there…
@Dorian G., “relax boo”
Well go’ne head and steer that ship then. LOL
The woman that you describe has another name in my book. She’s usually a member of the League of Unextraordinary Women until she gets a bit of that Vitamin D on a consistent basis.
@Slim Jackson,
who else, pray tell, is part of this league
@The Champ,
Any woman who is known to throw salt because her love life sucks in one way or another. You know, the chick who never has anything nice to say…even if she is getting Vitamin D.
This can be applied to men as well. They get just as cranky. My boss is a guy and his wife moved for a better job & lives 12 hrs away. He works 60-80 hrs/week (voluntarily) and even when he’s on vacation and drives all of us crazy. He’s the most anal person that I’ve ever worked for. He pulls me into a meetings regularly to bitch about the stupidest things. Now we just ignore him when he starts ranting. I blame his wife…
@Leila,
hmmmm, leila…i think you know what your next step should be.
@The Champ,
Nawww, son. If his wife took a job 12 hours away his stuff ain’t all that anyway. Then there’ll be 2 people walking around the office with scowls, lol!
@Lil’T, haha.
@Leila, it may affect men but not as much a s women. Shoot aint a dude out there gonna create a webstie or blog for men that are celibate, and even if so any dude up there would be seen as suspect (he’s gay) and furthermore men even the most non getting it dude NEVER denies the need for sex.
Kudos! I’ve recently stumbled upon this site and have enjoyed all the posts thus far. Keep it coming.
Back to this post..hmm, yeah. I hate the people that fall into this category. Men and women. Believe me, I’ve known a couple of uptight men that clearly need some to put their life in perspective. These people are always the ones who find the glass half-empty or overanalyze EVERYTHING! It’s like since they are not blowing or getting their backs blown out, they have to find something else to do, like complain. All I want to scream is: Just because you’re not getting some, don’t rain on everyone else’s parade. UGH! ok…I’m done now.
@Tootsie,
thanks, toots.
I can only speak for my own situation but things around my house are definitely smoother after the Mrs and I get some ‘alone time.’ I know better than to come to bed and fall right off to sleep after being away for three my three straight nightworks without puttin’ my back into it. On the same note, she knows that the last thing I’m interested after ‘that time of the month’ is idle conversation.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
have you read about that church where the pastor is ordering the married people in the congregation to each have sex for seven straight days?
@The Champ,
were you visiting my church this Sunday? I didn’t see you…
@The Champ, whut da cuff? i can see having them go on dates, or spend quality time together….but somehow, “well, pastor said we should, so lets get it over with before the keyshia cole show comes on” takes a lil spice out of the whole situation. sounds tedious…but i guess if it can make one couple cling to the celing fam like malaika suggested, then it might b worth it? can’t say, buddy
@kalia,
http://kdka.com/watercooler/pastor.sex.challenge.2.863639.html
@The Champ, thanks for the link. i see where he is coming from, i just hope he emphasized quality over quantity.
as far as him practicing what he preaches….tmi dude. i can’t stand when my pastor makes references about his $exual goings-ons with his wife..its like hearing your parents talk about doing it…..bad visual. but i guess parents and pastors are people too, lol.
@kalia,
Relax, sweetie. It’s ok to have s3x when married.
I like this pastor’s thinking.
@The Champ,
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/24/us/24sex.html?em
@Swamii,
good looks
Do men in relationships keep track of our cycles??? Cuz my SO starts the friskies as soon as he gets in the house after mine is over – and I haven’t even told him. Maybe it’s a 6th sense….
@Lil’T,
if they are aware and in tune with you then what you described above is completely natural. appreciate that he’s that into you. i do!
@Lil’T,
evil *bwuahahaha*
I perfer ovulating punannie but the worryfreeness of just before the seven up reddot comes by has it’s perks too. But then again it may be something in my genes. My Dad post coitous would tell my Mom to go eat a seak (for his growing boy) or a salad (for his new little girl). And was right every time. smh the gift and the curse
@WuDaMan, and why did he share this with you?
@Peyso,
You would be surprised at what parents will tell you – just to see your eyes pop out of your head, it seems.
My mom told me what song I was conceived to.
Haven’t been able to listen to the Gap Band quite the same since.
@8th Wonder,
Better the past than the present. (giving mom the side eye)
I weep for you.
@Peyso,
even scarier my Ma told me this. *hanging frowned head* He tells me how he guesses his blood pressure cholesterol & sugar numbers @ the Dr.’s office.
my ex knew my cycle too. i had serious mood swings back in those days. sometimes when we’d be talking, he’d look at his watch (which also had a calendar) and say “oh i didn’t realize it was day 2 already” lmao.
and then there were the tummy rubs for the cramps. he was a good at taking care of me…
@Gem of the Ocean,
I’m mad that you’re describing this man as an ex. Tell me he moved to China and started dressing as a woman or something…..
girrrrrl. he had more baggage than a Boeing 747 could transport. and i didn’t/don’t need those kinda problems *smh* had to let him go.
@Gem of the Ocean, gotta love the tummy rubs. warm laptops work too, lol
i’ll def keep the laptop (or would it be tummy top??)in mind when the time comes again. thanks!
@Lil’T,
It’s pheromones. We emanate different ones during different times of the 28-day cycle (or however many days yours is in particular). They can tell. They may not know they can tell, but they can.
Where do you think the saying “got his nose wide open” came from??
Biology is a powerful thing, I tell ya. Folks need to stop denying it out here on the boulevard.
@PBG,
They can tell.
Plus if you’re with someone long enough, patterns develop, and they know when the visitor is in town.
@PBG,
That explains so much.
@Lil’T,
Do men in relationships keep track of our cycles???\
yup. we’d be nuts not to
Champ, a few things….
1. Condi is not a MILF, since she has never had kids. Maybe a BWNKILF (Black woman, no kids….)
2. We assume Condi gets none, but you never know. The betting money around here is on her dating outside her race, and waaayyy upscale. She has attended a state dinner with a brotha on occasion.
3. Also, all the times I have seen her, she has been pretty serence, etc. She is not a lunatic, which suggests she is cooled out, maybe not on the regular, but enough such that she has not bombed Iran, yet……
@Swamii,
1. Condi is not a MILF, since she has never had kids. Maybe a BWNKILF (Black woman, no kids….)
yeah, i know. thats why i said “potential”
@Swamii, “We assume Condi gets none, but you never know. The betting money around here is on her dating outside her race, and waaayyy upscale”
Wasn’t she dating some Canadian politician? I remember seeing it in the news a while back…
@Leila,
I thought I read she was dating some Black dude who was an exec. for the NFL a while back…IDK.
@Leila,
Look like she might get around a bit, thus the cool, collected demeanor in dealing with our enemies.
Then there was that old GWB rumor, too.
@Swamii,
Now, I don’t know this for sure, but I was under the impression that Condi was playing for the other team…which was in direct correlation as to why she didn’t get the nod for the VP candidacy for the Republican party. I remember a story about her paying the mortgage of her estranged female lover and once the GOP found this out and put two and two together…well, you know how the Republicans get down and their stance on this kind of thing.
…but then again I could be suffering from information overload.
@AkShone,
Sounds like we need to do some research on this, because I have a feeling we have not seen the last of this “potential MILF”, not by a long shot.
@Swamii,
Condi Rice has been strongly rumored to be a gay woman. She does date men, but was rumored to be out at Stanford. This orientation was generally understood by correspondents who covered her at the State Department. What was also not widely known was that she was McCain’s first choice, not Sarah Palin. The McCain Campaign was high on Condi as the first choice before Sarah Palin, but the hideously inept Republican National Committee blew a gasket over the possibility that she “might” be gay, so McCain picked the white girl with no experience save two years as Alaska’s governor. Says more about McCain and his staff than it did about Rice.
When you’re three touchdowns behind in the fourth quarter, you pick the smart black woman to run with you; whether she’s gay or not is immaterial. It would have kept McCain in the game-but McCain’s people were stupid. Rice, it was reported, actually wanted to run with him.
Rice herself actually has denied being gay to Elizabeth Bumiller, so the jury is still out on this. If she is gay, she’ll simply have to settle matters by coming out herself. Her private life remains shuttered-she may do this for political reasons having to do with her effectiveness as Secretary of State. She deals with some of the most mysoginistic and homophobic cultures on the planet, and were she to become publicly gay, her effectiveness might come to an end.
This will change once she reenters public life as a “private/public” person in 2009. We will see more of a “new Condi” then.
Everyone needs a healthy dose of the good stuff. I have a co-worker who is always sampling her lunch (prior to the beastly throwdown), and is always stopping to say “Umph, that was better than sex!” What? I love food and all, but please! I have never had a delictable lasagna, that was better than any of the worst sex I ever had, let alone the good stuff. I hate to do it, but I might have to call the authorities on that one.
@Mme. Editor-in-Chief,
I feel you on this one – we just had a little party at the office and someone brought in a “Better Than Sex” cake. Now, the cake was damn good, but I was eating it thinking to myself “No, not better. Not by a long shot.” lol!
@Lil’T,
I too, have had this cake.
And it’s nooooooo where close. Matter of fact, they should rename that ish. I wonder, who finds this cake better than actual “cake”. Like…seriously? I wanna have a long talk with them and let them know that he/she ain’t been putting it down for you if you find solace in this cake.
False MF advertising.
@miss t-lee,
Bwahahahahhahahahah!!! I SOOOO feel you on this one. It’s just some ole cake, dangit! It’s not the D!
@Lil’T,
That cake needs more people. Betty Crocker and Duncan Hines ain’t enough. They need more.
@PBG,
what about the Pilsbury Dough Boy… does that cake have enough people now? *snicker*
(ain’t no cake better than s3x. had this cake before. it was better than… an oreo cookie.)
@blackberry molasses,
Add the Pilsbury Dough Boy, B.Smith and the Ghost of Julia Childs and I may be inclined to believe.
@Lil’T,
I’ve had this cake, and I like it, but who is the deprived crotchmonger that came up with the name? It is so not better! So not!
@Lil’T, yea I agree someone up thread said her starbucks coffee (I drink doppio machiotos)could suffice for the pep in her step she would get with good sex…W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R!!!!
@Mme. Editor-in-Chief, I agree with you but will say that chocolate comes close:)
Am I the only woman who is not a chocalate lover??
@V Renee,
No you’re not. I am SOOO not a chocolate lover. Chocolate lovin’ is a mass delusion started by the media. I’m not buying it.
@Leila,
It depends on what kind of chocolate your talking about. Chocolate man or chocolate bar? Clarify?
@Mme. Editor-in-Chief,
The only time that anyone can ever make the argument of food being better than sex, is if a person is starving to death. If you rescuse someone who has been held hostage, I’m sure he’s going to choose a steak before some p***y, 9 times out of 10.
Since those circumstances don’t apply to VSB readers, you’re right. Sex is WAY better than a slice of cake.
@ListenToLeon,
honestly, i wouldn’t even wanna try a piece of cake that would be better than sex. i dont scare easy, but the thought of coitus cake scares the f*ck out of me
i dunno, the way my aunt makes this cake (btw, she is the bomb @ss cook, and baking is her specialty) is d@mn good. it’s super duper moist, with chocolate, caramel, marshmellows, and all sorts of ooey gooey goodness baked into it…
so, i’d say while it may not be better than the upper case “D”, it’s d@mn sure better than some ol little “d”
@A Plus, yea okay I’ll bang shorty that aint all that while dude eats your cake…and againg the way some of you women make by law yall should just get good D…I say what made yall choose the duds in the first place? I get the feeling it was a materialistic reason: car-jo-both or hi spad or clothes or all four.
I’m back on my quality vs. quantity point. Almost every woman has scrapped her standards to end a dry spell – only to say to herself (and her friends) “I could’ve had a V8″. You’re supposed to break your fast with a feast – not a mcnugget.
@Lil’T, There isn’t anything worse than bad sex. I’d rather get none than something bad.
@Leila,
I’d rather get none than something bad.
You dayum right.
All or none…lol
@miss t-lee,
I’d rather get none than something bad.
you know, this was actually the original title of “family matters” before the producers thought it would be too confusing
@The Champ,
You’re killing me…lol
NM
lmao … great post… I will try to do my part to help society out… Why you had to put Conde on blast like that though… how you know she aint getting no “wang” like you like to call it… I nominate you to be the one to give her some if she aint…lol
@Eb,
lol…i didnt say condi wasn’t getting any. i just said that seemed to be the consensus. for all i know, condi might have been getting the purell treatmeat 3 days a week for the last decade.
and, ummm, regarding your nomination: i’m good. thanks for the thought though
I agree with the Champ on this and believe it is my duty to help the masses as much as possible. However I will only be breaking the backs of those who are size 14 and up. I’m sure someone will take care of you skinny chicks, but if not so be it, you should have hit the buffet.
If you fall into this category and you need some help, get at me!
And remember, I’m doing this for the people, cuz that’s how I do!
@BigBuck,
See…this is why I love you dawg…lol
I was just in the H two weeks ago too…
@miss t-lee,
You should have let your boi know! A closed mouth doesn’t get fed……manmeat! LOL!
@BigBuck,
Ha-haa!!!
oh gosh, lol
OMG you sound so much like one of my boys who offered his “services” to me. lol we do appreciate you helpin the masses!! cheers to you, good sir
For the s.e.x-less, I suggest going to the “mythical” pron bookstore that Comeback referenced a few posts back, and backing it up on a uniforn horn……especially if you’re an animal lover.
Also, has it been confirmed that Condi is NOT g.a.y (NTTAWWI)?
@V Renee,
Also, has it been confirmed that Condi is NOT g.a.y (NTTAWWI)?
i dont think she is. i never have.
Condi does look better now than she ever has. Someone must have pulled her to the side and gave her a style intervention!
@ListenToLeon,
you know, she just seems happier when you see her now, like a giant weight’s off her shoulders. she actually looks….soft
@The Champ, “like a giant weight’s off her shoulders”
his name is george w. bush
I have noticed that some of these women act like they are scared of d**k or they front like they don’t like d**k.
@Humble_One,
Thats what you do when you cannot/don’t have something. You convince yourself that it is unimportant or dont need it, or you just straight up run from it. People fear what they dont understand.
You are absolutely right. I am scared sh*tless of bad d*ck. Also, I don’t like (bad) d*ck.
heh.heh.
@Deviant,
Very good point Deviant.
I would like to dissent in part and concur in part.
Good sex with someone you care about and who cares about you is a real mood-lifter.
Mediocre sex and casual sex do little to nothing to lift the female spirit. For the vast vast vaaaaaast majority of women, mediocre sex is a chore. This cannot really be debated. And studies indicate that while men who have casual sex are less likely to report depression, women who have casual sex are more likely to do so.
I would also like to note that this description of a masked Mandingo tying up an anonymous woman and “bending her over” sounds curiously like rape, an endeavor which I cannot endorse knowing its correlation to later reports of post traumatic stress, depression and, occasionally, suicide.
How sterile of us as women to endorse this sort of behavior as potentially endorphinous.
Our poor daughters.
@Jen,
Normally I agree with at least 75% of your posts – but not on this one. You’re not differentiating b/w a horribly violent aggressive act and a fantasy, which cannot be politically correct or even made sense of. The libido wants what it wants.
Does casual sex make women depressed, or do depressed women have more casual sex? Is casual sex the marker of a depressed woman?Sounds like chicken and eggs to me. Either way….
*hands Jen a cup of chamomile with honey and a warm, fuzzy blanket*
@Lil’T,
I think that women who are depressed have casual sex as an effective means of self-medication.
I also think that otherwise happy women who attempt to adopt lifestyles not meant to women are driven toward depression due to their choices.
A lot of women disagree with the latter statement, but whatever. Keep sipping that kool aid.
@Jen,
“adopt lifestyles not meant to women”
Which lifestyles would these be? And who’s say is it that they are no good/for women?
Having casual sex has physical and emotional consequences for women that the lifestyle does not have for men. If you do not know what they are, you may google them or, better yet, do some academic research at your local public or university library.
If you, like countless other Americans, choose to irresponsibly endorse these detrimental lifestyles to our women, then, IMO, you’ve made more of a moral choice than a rational one.
That is honestly all I have to say about that.
“Having casual sex has physical and emotional consequences for women that the lifestyle does not have for men.”
Says who? That’s my question. Who is this great authority on what roles/lifestyles are gender dependent?
And why do people always suggest that you go on a wild goose hunt for information they already possess? John McCain much? If you know, why not just tell me?
Your comment has been filed ***MORE PEOPLE NEEDED***
We both know I’ve sold you short, here.
I’m perfectly willing to admit that.
But, once again, I would be more willing to engage you in fruitful conversation if I weren’t hopelessly convinced of your hopeless idiocy.
But I’ll tell you what.
Should I ever be raped in the future, I’ll be sure to remove the stick from my @$$ and enjoy the realization of what is very clearly the fantasy of any woman who isn’t a prude.
I hope you’ll do the same.
i actually agree with you on the Dev. i mentioned my new book “The Pleasure Center: Trusting Your Animal Instincts” a few posts ago, but it’s soooo relevent now too. it’s certainly ok and natural to want and engage in casual sex. satisfying a desire and pleasure you have is good for the BRAIN (pun intended any which way you please). yes—this prude neuroscience student said it!!! you heard it hear 1st folks…
now, if you’re a weak or delicate minded/spirited individual, you are likely indulging in casual sex instead of seeking something more fulfilling (i.e. a committed, loving relationship) and that’s not a good substitution. becuz it’s likely not just the good D you want, it’s the WHOLE person. and then you’re mad, sad, and destroyed when your casual sex partner won’t/can’t give you more of what you crave—attention, love, loyalty, true intimacy, spiritual fulfillment, etc. this is when things such as depression, lowered self esteem, etc come into play.
but grown a$$ ppl need to know how to make grown a$$ decisions and recognize what they want from what they need and what they’ll accept from what they require. ppl who don’t do this just land themselves into unpleasant situations and become unpleasant ppl in the process. much like the women Champer’s post is referring too.
and really, i don’t think it takes a brain nerd to figure this ish out. we’ve all seent it with our own 2 eyes (and if you’re so in tune, maybe even with your 3rd)
@gem,
i have nothing to add, other than the fact that “champers” is a decided upgrade from “champie poo poo”
carry on
@Gem,
This is why you are a gem. (I’m sorry I missed you when you came through DC)
I mean….seriously.
I’ll be passing out chill pills in the lobby for those who need them. Filtered water is $1 extra.
@Gem –
There is nothing weak minded about a woman’s desire for a committed, loving relationship.
It is kind of a biological necessity.
That said, I think you are definitely right about people needing to learn to distinguish what they want from what they need. However, I think the fact that this has been lost on this generation is the reason that casual sex among women has become its default norm.
And again, you’re right. We see women get their little feelings hurt in these types of relationships all the time. Yet, we broadly endorse them.
Why?
@Gem – I guess, more precisely, I am asking if you really think that the vast majority of women in casual sexual relationships wouldn’t rather be in committed, loving relationships?
Champie: i don’t call you Champie poo poo, so get it right. thanks
Lil’T: thanks, you’re a gem. no wait, that’s me. lol… anyway, sorry i missed you too. there will be other times… i’ll be back in the district for NYE!!
Jen: i never said women who want committed loving relationships are weak minded. please read again. i’m talking about women who want those type of relationships but settle for everything but (i.e. good D), and then become emotionally torn becuz they aren’t fulfilled. perhaps it’s less weak minded than weak willed. either way, it’s a problem and women have to know how to take care of themselves holistically and make it clear to men what they need and want, as you mentioned before….
additionally, idk about endorsing relationships where women get hurt. but i do know there are plenty of women who enter casual relationships and come out unscathed and in tact, likely becuz they know what they want going into the situation. as higher cognitively functioning primates in general we internalize our external cues and stimuli very differently. it’s our responsibility to understand the consequences of our actions on mind, body and soul.
Jen…”I guess, more precisely, I am asking if you really think that the vast majority of women in casual sexual relationships wouldn’t rather be in committed, loving relationships?”
good question but honestly i don’t think that’s relevent to the topic at hand. regardless of whether or not women want to be in committed loving relationships, casual sex isn’t always a SUBSTITUION for them. sometimes women just want some good D time in between time. esp the go-getter, career climbing, degree seeking, independent woman on her grind who may not be willing to put in the time, energy, and commitment a solid relationship deserves at certain points in her life. and if she feels comfortable being sexually satisfied outside of the confines of a relationship, then i think that’s her perogative (like Bobby B) and she should be entitled to such casual sex if that’s what she’s decided is best to suit her needs/wants.
@Gem…
we really fundamentally disagree.
While you think the question I’m asking is is irrelevant, I think it is the one that matters most because it has laid the groundwork for our generation’s social conditioning. That’s why I kind of unthinkingly skipped over a premise in my initial response to your comment.
I will clarify further, here.
I think that the primary reason that casual sexual relationships are endorsed by people at our age and education level is that we, as a social group, have been taught to and have decided to pretend that they are a fitting substitute for the committed relationships that most women desire.
I frequently refer to this as the “University” view of sex and relationships. I strongly believe that it is misfounded.
These sorts of relationships are only ostensibly convenient. They are largely entered into by women because they are easier to come by than committed relationships within a social group wherein marriage and other forms of commitment are postponed for various forms of personal growth.
And we end up with a bunch of single, well-educated, depressed, superbly-traveled, medicated, deeply-confused women who wonder where they went wrong when they were doing all the right things.
Jen–we can agree to disagree. i hear where you’re coming from, but i don’t think the answer is so cut and dry.
that being said, i don’t think women entering casual sexual relationships are putting themselves back even if a committed relationship is what they want. settling for a man who isn’t worth your time, energy, or love is what many women really want (whether this actually happens or not) to avoid. and why not be open to casual relationships in the mean time?? i’m not saying ALL women SHOULD and DO do this, but i don’t see why it’s a problem for those who do. are we to be single, lonely, and sexually unfulfilled just becuz we WANT a committed relationship but yet can’t find one?? i don’t think that makes sense.
but like i said. we can agree to disagree. i’m not trying to change your mind, becuz i think it’s already made up. i just think we can’t box women in and try to control their sexuality when it’s really in our “human” biological nature to indulge in situations that allow us to do fulfill our sexual desires.
@Jen,
I think you are making some really big generalizations in your argument.
“casual sex among women has become its default norm.”
I don’t think this is as true as you’d like to believe. I’d like to believe that most people are looking for a genuine connection with their sex partners until their convinced otherwise.
And how are you so sure that “committed relationships” are what most women desire? And when do these desires come into play? Are they lifelong desires? I don’t think that this functions well as the blanket statement it appears to be in the context in which it was used.
I think you mistakenly identify what you desire for yourself and maybe the birds you flock with to be true of all women and that simply isn’t the case.
Not all women use sex as a substitute for love. Sometimes they just want to feel good. And say what you will, sex (when done right) makes you feel good.
Maybe you’re pulling off past experience or observation of people you know but those experiences aren’t representative of all women.
Deviant, how many times do I have to tell you that I think you’re an idiot before you stop responding to me?
@Jen,
As many as you’d like…
Your declaration of my supposed idiocy does not make it fact. Nor does it compel me to resist the urge to point out the error of your ways.
i think it’s terribly unfortunate that we (i’ma just go ahead and make it collective) must resort to calling ppl names becuz some one disagrees with us.
aren’t we entitled to our own opinions?? how do you learn and grow intellectually when your thoughts are immediately dismissed and belittled??
not to get in the middle of things, but i think it’s a bit ridiculous for us to treat each other with such little respect and disregard. what happened to polite and considerate debate?? i mean damn.
@ Gem
I will happily share a minority opinion and occasionally cosign with a kindred spirit. I enjoy hearing the opinions of intelligent people who are able to voice their opinions intelligently–ESPECIALLY when they conflict with my own. Intelligent people impact my thinking on a daily basis.
Some people are not so rational.
And that’s fine. I guess. But, let “us” be clear.
I am calling Deviant an idiot because I believe s/he/it is one, and s/he/it has gone out of s/he/its way to lose my respect.
I do not pretend to be above ad hominem when it has already been thrown at me. Once they’ve closed the door on “polite and considerate debate” and opened the door for that grade of “honesty”, I will tell ugly people exactly how ugly I think they are–with relish.
And, at that point, the uglies (DEVIANT, TO BE CLEAR, THIS MEANS YOU) ought not have anything else to say to me. I certainly won’t have much more to say to them than a casual and very intentionally disrespectful insult and the occasional “please go sit down somewhere”.
@Jen,
It’s hard to imagine you happily doing anything.
@Jen,
Damnit, J – you’re making me agree with Deviant. Why?
Someone call a medic I think Jen just drowned.*
@Jen,
Are you serious?
“Mediocre sex and casual sex do little to nothing to lift the female spirit.”
You’ve been looking for dyck in all the wrong places. Any woman who knows what she’s doing can have a very satisfying romp with the most mediocre man and be quite pleased with herself for no other reason than she got her jollies.
I’ve known women who went so far as not allowing their dyck donor the privilege of speaking to them during the act because it would “ruin the moment.”
“this description of a masked Mandingo tying up an anonymous woman and “bending her over” sounds curiously like rape”
It seems to me that you may be one of those people who has never allowed themselves the pleasure of truly enjoying something sinister. There’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy now and then. You need to go ahead and let your hair down.
Your panties are in such a bunch that it’s cutting off the blood flow to the pleasure centers of your brain.
“How sterile of us as women to endorse this sort of behavior as potentially endorphinous.”
The only thing sterile in here are your Bartholin’s glands.
“Our poor daughters.”
Are you a mother? If so, I sincerely hope that your neuroses isn’t genetic.
Oh yeah… Jesus loves you.
* I think she confused this waterbed of a statement for a wet blanket.
a) I “look for dyck” (God pity you) within the confines of a committed relationship. And there is nothing wrong with that.
b) The Mandingo bit was not a role playing fantasy, but a joke about rape. And if the feminist theorists were ever right about anything, they were right about the fact that RAPE ISN’T FUNNY.
c) I am a mother, actually. And my daughter will not only be well-educated, but self-aware enough not to think that rape is funny or that random penises are useful mood-enhancers.
You really seem to be taking this comment very personally. I would strongly suggest therapy in order to minimize the chances of your curse becoming generational.
@Jen,
Wow. You seem to be too much of a prude to enjoy the witty banter the goes on at VSB.
I don’t recall saying rape should be a source of humor. I think that stick up your arse needs to be removed. It seems as if you’re looking for a reason to be offended.
I am “personally” saddened to know that you are passing along your stick-in-the-mud’ness on to your daughter. As far as all the other stuff, it’s the phucking internet. As much as I enjoy it, once I hit that “X” in the corner it’s over.
And in the words of a great poet, “… Dyck in your life. (That’s what you need girl) Dyck in your life.”
You may think I’m a “prude” and a “stick in the mud,” but allow me to take a moment and state the obvious.
1. You obviously know nothing about my sex life.
2. I obviously think you’re an idiot.
Do with that information what you will.
1. True. But based on your comments, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to.
2. That feeling is mutual.
Absolutely nothing.
@Deviant, “Any woman who knows what she’s doing can have a very satisfying romp with the most mediocre man and be quite pleased with herself for no other reason than she got her jollies.”
ummm, i think you need more people for this one.
ladies, am i alone? i mean, i have skills, but i can’t get off on no mediocre wang
@A Plus,
He needs waay more people.
Capacity of Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium type people.
@A Plus,
He lives in a world wherein women are totally responsible for terrible sexual encounters, women who don’t fantasize about rape are prudes and casual sex has nothing but the most ideal physical and emotional effects upon women.
@Jen,
lol
I recently saw Aisha Tyler live. She had this one joke where she talked about how her hubby is all about not spanking and she is. Well what type of punishment do they use time out. She said she puts him in time out when he doesn’t perform well. Aisha; ‘now go stand in that corner naked and think about what you didn’t just do. I’ll be downstairs watching lost.’ lmao
“He lives in a world wherein women are totally responsible for terrible sexual encounters, women who don’t fantasize about rape are prudes and casual sex has nothing but the most ideal physical and emotional effects upon women.”
@Jen,
Do not misconstrue my words/sentiments to your own twisted ideals.
And yes, women are partially responsible for bad seckual encounters, because it takes two to tango. And if you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop (which most women don’t) or you can open your mouth and make some much needed changes (which, again, most women don’t).
I said you were a prude. That was for you and you alone. And what is for you is for you…
And like most things, when done right, casual secks CAN/MAY/MIGHT have positive effects on PEOPLE.
And your “He” should read Deviant. I defy your preprogrammed gender roles.
@Deviant & Jen
This entire exchange disturbed the h3ll out of me. I would’ve commented earlier, but my infants and I were dealing w/acute cases of the “Monday Blues”.
As were some of our VSB’s/VSS’s. *side eyed*
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father,
We humbly come to You again in prayer. Prayers for unity, compassion, understanding and tolerance. Guide our thoughts, actions and words, O Lord, as to have them be pleasing in Your eyes. Inspire us to make every possible stride to show one another the grace and mercy that you bestow up each one of us everyday. Remind us daily that we are all beautiful, fluffy little sheep in Your Mighty flock, and not the ugliness of the world. Let our actions in the blog and everywhere else be indicative of the Love that is You. Dear God, have us shine that wonderful light in every circumstance, since it just may be my or my fellow VSBer’s personal destiny to show a person Your greatness, because they may never see it any other way. Thank You, Omnipotent One, for this blog of intelligence, humor, friendship and even respectful disagreements. Bless the writers, the moderators and the commentators.
In the precious name of Jesus, Our Tiny Infant Savior we ALL pray.
Amen.
*******glitter*******
My work here is done.
@PBG,
How come every time somebody says something ugly to ME, folks want to toss Jesus glitter on my behind??
Can we please turn to the scripture for a moment?
Jesus said turn the other cheek, but very astutely only provided us with sets of two cheeks. He said give the coat and the shirt off your back, but even Jesus didn’t skin himself alive for anybody. I can’t be nice to every idiot forever. Jesus understands!!! He stayed calling people “fool” all up and through the New Testament.
@Jen,
Please don’t get me wrong just because I believe in the power of glitter and I’m a praying woman. Please.
I offer that prayer to the good Lord above for the entirety of this blog and all of those who frequent it. I don’t like discord and don’t see any real reason for it. I believe that Jesus is The Healer and can cure WHATEVER ails us. I have no faith in (wo)man, but rather what God can do through us, in His infinite wisdom.
I am as strongly opinionated as anybody else here, but time, experience and the wisdom that ultimately comes along w/living awhile has taught me that niceness goes a long way (depending on exactly where you’re trying to go) and I don’t need to belabor my points to anybody, just because I have them.
Now, you handle things how you see fit, Miss Jen. If you want my opinion, I’ll give it to you…just get ready, because I tend to bring the heat. But until then, I will CONTINUE to toss glitter here there and EVERYWHERE and remain prayerful enough for all of us. Not a one of us needs it any more or less than anybody else.
OKAY, FINE. I will embrace the glitter.
@Jen,
And no Jesus didn’t skin Himself alive for anybody.
He “just” went to Calvary and died on The Cross. For EVERYBODY.
That’s been more than enough for me for quite some time now.
@PBG,
Hey Girl. Hey. Girl.
I think it was during that e-prayer that I riggity realized that I liggity e-luuv U.
@PBG, I eluv you 2..may this VSB creative space rise higher as a result of respectful dissent.
i think getting the O-face and having a great sexual encounter are 2 different things. to me, bad sex is some one who doesn’t take the time to find out what pleases their partner. if you are just in it to get your own rocks off, then there’s a problem. if both ppl aren’t being satisfied, it’s not good. imho, of course. i’m certainly no expert, and my experience is limited, but i’m not gonna settle for some random dude with mediocre “D” just so i can do all the work and bring my own self to the mountain top, or climax, if you will.
i* am frustrated and tense and ready to take it out through sexual relations, yet i have to exert the most effort and energy to get this thang crackin?? i.don’t.think.so! not.gonna.happen!
* “i” meaning any woman in this predicament.
@Gem of the Ocean, LMAO @ “bring my own self to the mountain top”.
This is a travesty. Mountain climbing is best done with the proper gear, people, and with the sole goal of making it to the top. I do agree both people need to be about pleasing the other. If anyone wanted a one-sided love fest they could faciliate that for themselves lol.
@A Plus
I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I will admit that I can get my jollies off to mediocre wang. I know what to do to make the most of situations like this. Now in the future, if the wang does not improve despite constructive criticism, it may be time to bounce.
hehe… time to bounce on or off?? just curious…
::chuckling::
@Gem of the Ocean,
You are in rare form today, Miss Missy! You may have to spend some time in the corner! The Prayer Cubicle and “The Other Corner”. LOL!
@V Renee,
Thanks for being my +1… I think women need to take more responsibility for their O’s and not expect the man to get them to the “peak.” Mostly because he may not know how. Men do not come pre-equipped with the location of the clit-or-miss/gspot of every woman in existence. He will only do what you let him get away with. You want him to slow down/speed up/be gentle… you gotta open up your moth and SAY SOMETHING. Otherwise, he’s just gonna “bang bang bang” like John Witherspoon and be out.
i agree with you both (Dev and V). but mostly in a working relationship. but in a casual sexual relationship?? it seems like a bit much to work with some one like that. i guess i don’t see the appeal in putting in all that work for some good yet occassional D. idk *shrugs*
@Gem of the Ocean,
When you go out to eat do you let the waiter bring you whatever? No. You know what you like and you order accordingly.
Why should sex be any different?
Now you shouldn’t get all Ann-Marie Johnson in Strictly Business but you should be assertive about getting your needs/wants satisfied.
@Gem of the Ocean, so you want an unknown thing to know what you want because after its just casual?
I say state the request and see if Dude gets close to it …he aint your man so no he doesnt have to nail it but he ought to be given the chance…I just cant see you saying you want me to to do something but I didnt and you didnt ask cuz you assummed I knew how YOU get down. (suppose you into toys how the hell woul I know if I havent seen any around and you dont bring it up?)
And furthermore how is this “work”. Its men that -after 8 or 12 hrs of work sometimes physical-that lift yall up, toss yall around, those various positions yall love rival any move on the court or football feild.
Women have no physical sexual equivelant to blowin a back out-shit leaves you worn out..so I dont see how asking questions is work…yea yea reverse cowgirl and riding me,what ever thats nothing compared to really having to WORK to put you to sleep.
Gee now yall too lazy to play devils advocate when it comes to sex!!!!
I guess your man won’t be asking you to role play anytime soon (NTTAWWT).
@V Renee,
::snicker::
@Jen,
you had me at “bending”
@Jen, do you really think that The Champ would actually suggest something as a violent and tortuous as a rape scenario as some kind of cure all to a woman’s poor demeanor or a remedy to depression? Think about it. That accusation is taking what is clearly a light-hearted approach to fantasy and making it into something despicable and grotesque. Rape is not about sex either it’s about control & power. A playful sex fantasy doesn’t even factor into that equation.
@miss patterson,
No. I do not think he was advocating the rape of irate celibate women. I think he was joking about the rape of irate celibate women. I do not think this is an extraordinary interpretation of the post, as I have heard similar jokes countless times before. They are pretty typical, actually.
However, I have never heard anybody make a fantasy/role play joke about irate celibate women.
Ahem.
And, I’m sorry, but rape is typically about control and power…of a woman’s vagina. It bothers me when people try to completely remove the obvious sexual elements from rape.
Again, another unpopular opinion.
@Jen, actually rape is not power over a woman’s vagina. it’s only sexual in that it is through the act of sex that this power is attained. rapists don’t seek out their victims based on their sexual prowess or level of horniness. same with pedophiles. they want to control, period. they’re sick. i’ve studied this topic extensively and with victims of rape. trust me, the worst thing a woman can do is associate rape with her sexuality, prowess, and vulnerability. it is of course natural to do so because it is your vagina that was directly violated (among other things) but the fact is the act of rape is much deeper (both psychologically & physically) than that.
@miss patterson,
I’m familiar with the theories you are referencing.
I still very much disagree with the broad removal of sexual elements from rape. Humans are sexual beings and sometimes, rape is about sex. I think this is especially true of less violent acquaintance rapes and also of certain prison rapes.
Again, I know mine is an unpopular opinion.
i feel like this is an episode of Law & Order: SVU. you are definitely on point with your analysis of rape, Miss P. this is also something i’ve studied and read up on. thanks for sharing
@Gem of the Ocean,
I thaught rape was about rage.
*shrugging shoulders*
@miss patterson,
I agree w/your statements 100%.
@Jen,
I know what I like, and I know I’m not wanting to be raped.
Thank you and good night.
P.S. Y’all may not like what I have to say, but I see it gets you talking.
i think the point of this entire site is to get ppl talking. it’s not ideal for us all to think and feel the same about any given topic. educated ppl are brought to their intellectual best when they can have respectful discourse. and when disagreeing on certain issues can still progress and move the conversation forward, while simultaneously educating those around them and being educated themselves.
if none of this happened, Peej and Champikins wouldn’t be acclaimed as very smart brothas at all.
@Jen
I think most of the time, people are just struggling to get the wet blanket off of them. They hope that maybe they can talk their way from up under it; it can get rather hot, mildewey and rank.
So many mentions of bad dic..why does no one bring up the existence of bad pu$$. Its out there. It happens.
@Deviant,
Yes it does exist. I have experienced one too many times. The funny thing is that a few of them thought they had sunshine b/w their legs.
@Deviant,
Oh, we know it’s out there, and we don’t want it to be us. Many women work haaarrd to make sure they don’t fall into that category – why do you think there are so many freaky exercise classes? Belly dancing, pole work-outs, do-it-all-the-time kegels, high heeled cardio (and this is all stuff at the local community center), b/j lessons…you name it, it’s out there. Did you think we were watching pron just to get our rocks off? Research, homie. Research.
@Lil’T,
That’s what’s wrong with our society. We’ve lost the patience for the “trial-and-error” method. No one bothers with constructive criticism anymore.
@Deviant,
Women who do too much “trial and erroring” end up with no walls. Best to let Roxie Reynolds show us how it’s done.
P.S. – If Karine Steffans came out with a for realz “instructional video”…I’d buy it. Because I’m dedicated to professional development like dat.
Deviant: The New Generational Curse (I’m sorry – couldn’t resist….lol…)
@Lil’T,
In the scientific community, “trial-and-error” is not the equivalent to repeating your mistakes. I’m merely suggesting that should you encounter some bad secks, there should be some sort of mutual critiquing process upon which you revise your approach and try again. So you’re not out there trying again with out realizing what went wrong in the first place.
@Deviant,
Do you have the heart to tell some girl who just gave you some that her stuff wasn’t good? And if you did – how?
@Lil’T,
I gots to admit I B’ed up on that. I couldn’t do it tell this lil woman who just shared her holliolie w/ me that it was looser than a left turned lugnut. Prolly cuz she more than made up for it w/ the brain.
bibbity bobbity boo
lmao @ “I’m dedicated to professional development like dat.”
that was great. you made my day, thanks!
@Lil’T, Because I’m dedicated to professional development like dat…iDied.
On my lunch break I heard that this woman is reportedly having orgazms when she does jumping jacks…maybe her secret will help those with dry spells?
@The Queen,
Her “secret” is probably a pocket rocket. If jumping jacks could give you an “o” there would be no such thing as an out of shape woman.
I hate to agree with this list…. but I sadly do.
The world would be such a glittery, diva-dusted, full of unicorns and baby pandas place if more people had s3x on the regular…
@mssula,
lol…why do you hate to agree?
@The Champ,
Because it bothers my inner feminist…
@mssula,
Why? Is your “inner feminist” against getting some?
Wow, I’m so outta the loop. I’m still the kid who plays “I Never” and never gets to take a shot!! Imma get something one day!
By the way fam, as of Saturday, I am 23. Hooray for November birthdays!!
@Beez,
happy belated birthday and sh*t.
before you blow out the imaginary candles on your belated birthday cake, would you mind translating this…
“Wow, I’m so outta the loop. I’m still the kid who plays “I Never” and never gets to take a shot!! Imma get something one day!”
…to american for me please?
@The Champ,
Hey ‘I never’ is a drinking game. Where people sit in a circle and say I never (insert act here) and if you have done the (inserted act) then you take a drink. But you know drinking games you prolly got to be enibriated to remember how to play in the first place.
Happy B – lated B – day Beez
@Beez, LMAO, I understood what you meant, its not a bad thing, and you are not a kid, you a grown ass woman!
Happy Bday!!
*holding out glass of butterbeer to you, clink*
@Beez,
Happy Belated Beez!! Scorpios RULE!!
@Beez,
Yay! Sunday marked my 10-year anniversary of surviving natural childbirth. My son is finally in the double digits!
@Beez, happy belated birthday Beez!
@ everyone:
Thank ya kindly! I appreciate it!
Wow, this is an interesting topic today. And, regretfully, I have to nominate myself as a chick who is in MAD need of the “D”….lol!
Yes, I’m Sasha Two Pistols, and I have a problem.
The first step is admittance, is it not?
@Sasha Two Pistols,
Heya Sasha.
And of corse you have to admit you need it. How can you fix what you don’t think is broke. My advice would be to rub one out on the reg. I hear it keeps you ready to say Oh… knahmean.
@WuDaMan, Yeah I “khahmean”, lol.
@Sasha Two Pistols,
Girl, you got TWO pistols. You can use em to get you some “drive-by” D.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Haha, yeah you write about that. But I just don’t want some drive-by D.
@WuDaMan,
your sage advice nearly KILLED me.
@blackberry molasses,
What You Mean BBMo? I’m trying to help people live happier not die. giggle giggle
uh…. where do i sign up for some back breakingness?
This is funny because I was thinking this when I was sitting in church yesterday, observing all the old ladies who were a lil’ too intense at our church meeting. I was like when is the last time somebody, licked that ___? And lawd, will that be me somebody? Please no!
Hmm.
Not so much “edgy” as misogynistic. Goodbye, gentlemen.