I don’t know about you, but one of the things that makes me so sexxy is my ability to espouse movie quotes rather quickly and appropriately. In fact, I’m so fly with it (look how I did it) that I will often speak in movie quotes if the ability permits. That and Jay-Z quotes, but that’s a whole other post altogether.
And since VSB is for the children, I figured I’d share a few quotes from three of my favorite movies that make the world a better place for me, which clearly makes it a better place for you.
Koonu: When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons,’ and bail. (forgetting sarah marshall)
If that isn’t a personal mantra, I don’t know what is. Unless of course the lemons are a chick you knocked up who’s calling you at like 2am to tell you some sh*t like, “Kaine, I’m pregnant.” By the way, telling her that you put the jimmy on extra tight will NOT make her go away. Trust me. Not that I know from experience or anything.
Jay: Now you’re being condescending, see? You’ve been warned, ‘aight? Now, let’s move forward amicably.
Smart Tech Customer: Well, ‘aight, check this out, dawg. First of all, you throwin’ too many big words at me, and because I don’t understand them, I’m gonna take ‘em as disrespect. Watch your mouth and help me with the sale. (40 year old virgin)
This is just funny to blurt out in the middle of a crowded theater after somebody says, “excuse me”. If you are at a Black theater, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT say this out loud as all Black people know that it is disrespectful to feel disrespected which just may increase the murder rate by 3. Just remember, disrespect is the number one killer of black males from birth to death.
The more you know.
*ding*
Cal: Okay, okay, it doesn’t matter if you’re ugly as f*ck, or you’re ugly as sh*t. It’s about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist. (40 Year Old Virgin)
Kind of like the Panamanian’s personal credo, you know, being a 3 and all. Confidence and bullsh*t will get you everywhere in life. Looking like the lovechild of gizmo and Roseanne Barr, on the hand, will not.
Prince Akeem: Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem? (Coming To America)
Not just New York…like EVERYWHERE. As long as I keep this in mind, I’ll have a clear mind and a full heart. And I’ll possibly win a Texas high school football championship in Dillon, Texas.
[while Prince Akeem is getting a bath]
Bather: The royal penis is clean, your Highness.
Mostly because what man DOESN’T want to hear this. I kind of keep this one around as a hope of mine. Even better if the one cleaning the royal peen is Garcelle Beauvais.
Maurice: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now… now I’m washing lettuce. Soon I’ll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I’ll make assistant manager, and that’s when the big bucks start rolling in.
I actually use this one any time I meet an aspiring young brotha of any circumstance. I remind him that if he works hard enough, that one day he’ll make it to fries. Coincidentally, my brother just got promoted at his job and what did he say when I asked him about his promotion??
“Soon I’ll be on fries, then the grill” Of course he’s in prison so it’s the federal lockup kitchen. But it’s a start and hey, optimism is optimism.
Morris: His mamma call him Clay, imma call him Clay.
I make sure to say this at least 3 times a week. This might be the one quote that you can easily bring up in the middle of any conversation that includes 2 ore more Black people. It’s like knowing how to play Spades.
Prince Akeem: Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?
Only because I tried to get a chick to bounce on one leg once for me. She didn’t bite…initially.
Annnnnnnnnd cut.
So good people of VSB, what are some quotes that you love and use in everyday life?
Sharing is caring.
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Related posts:
- Great Shower Sex, Relationship Karma & More Sh*t That Only Happens in Movies
- three great things to do if dateless on valentines day
- How To Be More Attractive Than You Actually Are In 700 Words Or Less When The Rainbow Isn’t Enough
- six most important black movies of the last 30 years
- Superbad: 5 Movies That Aren’t As Funny As You Swear They Are
{ 364 comments… read them below or add one }
“I don’t need no ashtray, the whole world’s an ashtray to Eddie Kaing”
I say this everytime I get in a evil mood and want to let the world know I run this. Nuff said and sh*t.
Quotes from Coming to American I use –
When somebody is at my front door I always yell out “You may enter!”
When somebody tells me some bullshyt “Who told you that?”
Quotes from the 5 Heartbeats I use –
When taking off my boxer and revealing mini-me I usually say “ZANGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!” with the drunk/coke head Eddie Kane voice!
When I trying to get the draws (GTD – shout out to my favorite Martin episode) I get in my drunk Eddie Kane voice again and sing “Night’s like this I’d wish you drop them drawwwwwwwws”
How could I forget my other favorite Coming to America quote… I usually use this one when I’m getting clowned by a group of ninjas:
“eff you eff you eff you…who’s next?”
@eff yo couch,
King: “MY SON WERKS!?!”
James Earl Jones is a fool…
@Toussaintthefree,
i always thought he talked like that asa joke when i was lil but das jus how he sound
@Toussaintthefree,
My favorite from King Jaffe Joffer is “LET THEM WAIT!!!…i am talking to my son…”
“You’s a real ninja boy…ol green eyes gonna miss ya”
I am from the thought that if its more than 2 lines its too much and makes it look like your trying too hard and it just turns into a monologue.
Hmnmm, movie quotes for life, eh?
So far, all I can think of is something from the most quotable movie ever, Robocop.
Morton: That’s how you do it in the big leagues, Johnson, you see an opening, you GO for it!
Johnson: Better watch yur back, Bob. Jones is gonna come looking for you.
Morton: Oh, f*ck Jones. He fumbled the ball, I was there to pick it up.
Johnson: Too bad about Kinney, huh?
Morton: That’s life in the bg city.
The moral. Sometimes you gotta get yours and be heartless about it in the process. The next ninja will with the quickness, why shouldn’t you?
Much more to come, I am sure….
The only movie quotes that count are:
“Welcome to the real world, Neo” – Morpheus
and
“You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world” – Tyler Durden
my favorites…\
What is that velvet? (coming to america) this could be in reference to something extremely hawt and trendy or something ridiculous… It was also perfect during the “velvet sports coat” club phase…
Meet me at the designate spot, at the designated time and I will gladly designate his a$$
Who’s the Master?
whos the baddest mo fo low down around this time?
singing “dirtty boooys” I found em I found em
you aint my brotha
(all from the last dragon) and good for just randomly interjecting in conversation when I have become bored with the random topic
@shay_d_lady, LMAO@What is that velvet?
I use that one all the time when my wife shows me some clothes that look wierd!!!
my favorites:
1) “Yes I think they deserve to die. AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!” from A Time to Kill.
Me and my momma say this at least once a week.
2) “The Temptation’s ain’t nuthin’ without David Ruffin!” Sometimes I just need to let you know that without me, you ain’t sh*t.
3) From the illustrious Jackson 5 movie:
“Joe Jackson, you a liar and a cheat! And I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you no mo’ !”
*exhale*
*pregnant pause*
*sad face*
@charli skipper, I personally like the quote when ruffin says
the temps without david ruffin aint nothin but a band lookin for a david ruffin.. or something like that
LMAO at least once a week when I am about to “quit” my job I say this
@charli skipper,
1.) Heck yes! I love Sam Jackson!
2.) Co-sign. Sometimes you need to let people know how VIP you are.
3.) I just don’t know how Joe Jackson is gonna make it in to Heaven.
@charli skipper,
I hope you say #1 just as loud as Sam Jack with the crazy eye look.
@charli skipper, “2) “The Temptation’s ain’t nuthin’ without David Ruffin!” Sometimes I just need to let you know that without me, you ain’t sh*t.”
LMAO,
“Ain’t nobody coming to see YOU Otis”
@Omar,
I came in here to post some Temptations movie quotes.!!!!!
“Ain’t no body comin to see you, OTIS!”
“Yall ain’t nothin, with David Ruffin. Yall just a group in SEARCH of a David Ruffin!”
‘I knew they’d want us back. “We the voices.”
(Talk bout Tammy Terrel at the motown picnic)
“Go get that b!tch.”
And when Paul is drunk singing For once in my life. . .*tear. “Won’t someboooDdy hear my pleeeeeeea!!!”
Oh Leon. You slay me
@AngelicNastyness,
“Oh Leon. You slay me”
“You fake Temptations without David RUFFIN!” The way Leon flails his arms about and such as security drags him away is FIERCE.
“David Ruffin and uh…what’s they name?” LMFAO. He was THEE David Ruffin.
@charli skipper,
i love that joe jackson quote.
i like to burst it out randomly when i’m in the supermarket, standing next to a random man.
fun.
@charli skipper,
” From the illustrious Jackson 5 movie:
“Joe Jackson, you a liar and a cheat! And I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you, I don’t want you no mo’ !””
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. NO ONE knows how to deliver a line like Angela Bassett. I love when Joe was about to whoop one of the kids and Angela’s Katie just shut him down all, “What are you going to do- ask them to go out, get a switch, and bring it back here so you can beat them with it? Go to bed, Joseph. Go to bed!”. The way she said it kilt me.
Dude with the beard: “Tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon!” The hangover
funniest line in a long time
…… and I’m just a-waitin for the Color Purple quotes to start bein slung every which a way. lol
@Selah, LOL I just posted my favs
@shay_d_lady,
lol! yep I jus saw your comment. can’t escape that movie. lol
@Selah, Dont kill me, but I might be the only person who really disliked that movie
@Peysonic Temple,
*adam’s apple punch*
That’s the sub-category of a miss t-lee punch.
@Cheekie,
*laughing at the sub category*
@Peysonic Temple,
See, now look – ya went and got adams apple punched… you should know better than to say that around a grip of black folk. lol
@Peysonic Temple, I don’t know if I can like it or not, I’ve never seen it.
BBMo is sad for your lifespace.
Life ain’t complete until you see Celie put them two fingers up and curse Mister.
@BlackBerry Molasses, ehhh, I’ll get around to it eventually. There’s a lot of ppl who haven’t seen Star Wars and have managed pretty well too…
1. Waiting to Exhale
“Well guess what John, you’re the muth@fuckin improper influence. Gitcho shi!t, gitcho sh!t, and GET OUT.”
2. Friday after next
Uncle Elroy: Ya’ll tired of eatin’ that barbecue from up the street? Where they give you more sauce than they give you meat? Then bring your big ass down to Bros. Barbecue, 15837 South Crenshaw Boulevard, that’s right off Manchester. Bros. Barbecue, tastes so good, make you wanna slap yo’ mama! Don’t it, Willie?
Mr. Jones: Yeah, boy! Hey, mama?
Grandma Jones: What the hell you want, Willie?
[Willie slaps her]
Uncle Elroy: Ain’t but one location, so it’s nearest you.
&
Day-Day: Manage to line that wolfp***y up
Ms.Pearlie: Don’t worry bout b!tch I know somebody like it
&
Money Mike’s dialogue in its entirety.
3. Color Purple
The whole effin movie.
4. 40 year old version
Mr. 3 I’m co-signing the FYOV. I like the rest of that scene between Jay and the Smart Tech Customer.
Jay: You was looking for yoself a ninja now you got yoself a ninja.
@Nola Darling,
This whole movie is full of quotables like the scene where they looking for girls.
“Now you, with your peripherals, find a hot chick”
” I see a ficus”
“dawg if you tryin to tell a joke, it’s not funny”
@A-Town Genius,
“She was a h0e, FA SHOW!!”
@A-Town Genius,
That momophuka said a ficus. LMAO! I can’t breathe!!!!!
Also, in the spirit of yesterday’s comment section, and even though this isn’t a movie-movie, I have several favorite quotes from this piece of art right here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toRLQ8ZXxZg
4) “Listen to me. This is a werd of encouragement! Um…These people on the world wide web–they is cruel! They is evils and stuff!! They will lie to you and say they is yo’ fans and they love yo’ videos and stuff, but really they just wanna see yo’ a*s act a fewl.”
lol. icried.
@charli skipper,
THis clip is hilarious! One of my fav youtube videos is Dear John Witherspoon. Do you love New York? He says that she looks like 9/11 the day after. He goes off for a solid minute.
NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYcz0pWyv_o&feature=channel
@Nola Darling, theme from the Dear John TV show FTW!
aint nobody coming to see you OTIS!
(the temptations)
The color purple
Till you do right by me…..
its gone rain on yo head
you told harpo to beat me
“on top of me”-randomly during se.x
I gotta go to schoool-when Im in a hurry…
And not if he my man! You just a big ol heffa. Ha Ha Ha.
Oop, time to go-especially good in place of ” shots fired”
naw miss sofia naw…..when someone has done something stupid as he.ll
you shole is ugly….
oh and the scene where the paw was sitting the porch with mister
and he says
msiter-all her children got the same daddy I can vouch for that
paw-you cant vouch for shyt
hell she brought the population of xxx to an alltime high… LMAO
and I heard she got that nasty woman’s disease….
and just because they are awesome
You a low down dirty dog, that’s what’s wrong. Time for me to get away from you, and enter into Creation. And your dead body’d be just the welcome mat I need.
All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men,
The jail you planned for me is the one you’re gonna rot in.
@shay_d_lady,
I knew it! lol the Color Purple is somehow stocked with a Ginormous amount of quotes that can be applied in everyday life, even when you’re not getting beat on or physically or verbally abused. lol
@Selah,
co-sign
@shay_d_lady,
The color purple is full of quotables for life…
My father is an @$$hole and I regularly tell him “’til you do right by me” complete with two curved fingers pointing at his face. I resolved my daddy issues a long time ago, but this quote has been substituted for “see you later, i love you” since I was 16 or so…
Also, “you betta bash Mister’s head open and think about heaven later” holds a special place in my heart.
And lastly, my boss calls her SO “Mista”, not as a color purple reference, really on some personal stuff thats kinda sweet…but every time she says it I think “M.I.S.T.E.R. period.”
@shay_d_lady,
LOL! Bless you… I’m starting to think this is like a pre-requisite to being Black, growing up in the 80-90′s, etc. I know countless women who ALL can quote this movie verbatim. Gotta love it.
Bond.
A few I like to spout:
From Legends of the Fall. I use it to convince myself that I AM LEGEND:
“Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends.”
From Color Purple (when referring to a skank):
“I hear she got that nasty women’s disease”
When I’ve had a hard day (again, from a Color Purple):
“All my life I had to fight.”
I used this quote on my nephew. My brother yelled “Ninja…quit watching the Wiz”
“If we know ourselves, we’re always home, anywhere. “
@V.E.G.,
“From Color Purple (when referring to a skank):
“I hear she got that nasty women’s disease””
You can also refer to this when trying on a pair of shoes after someone just tried on the same pair.
You have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka (purple rain)
Let’s have some action! Let’s have some more a.s.ses wigglin’… I want some perfection! (morris day purple rain)
when its time for action.. its actually a great end to a motivational speech
Nobody digs your music but yourself! fat guy club promoter….
One I wore out, years ago.
One truism in my life my friend…when that jones comes down, it’s a mutha *ucka.
@V.E.G.,
“Let me see your wallet. Cause it’s got to say bad mutha****a”
Classic. Good eye VEG.
Bond. BlkBond.
Leah: Juno?
Juno: No, it’s Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
I always say that when instead of saying “hello” (or its equivalent) people ask if it’s me over the phone… like my number isn’t already stored in their phone *rolls eyes* lol
@Selah, hahahahaha!
I laughed for 3 min straight when she said that! I had to pause the movie…too funny
@CoCoPuffs,
LOL. and then I realized – The Bone Collector starred Denzel, not MF. *made me laugh even harder*
Love jones: a cheese omelet! You betta put your name on that, that’s better than michael Jordan’s comeback!
Coming to America: sexual chocolate! Sexual chocolate ladies and gentlemen!
Crooklyn: 123 the devil’s after me!456 he’s always throwing sticks! 789 he misses everytime! Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah amen ! (the kids choir sung this at my church once. Hella side eyes)
Crooklyn: what you talkin bout? I ain’t no puta! I ain’t no puta! I’m connie! I keeps my panty clean!
@Trin-trin,
lmao, the kids choir? is that a real song?
two words: BLAZING SADDLES
so many quotes it’s hard to pick
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071230/quotes
@T. Troy Stewart,
Dock that chink a day’s pay for napping on the job.
@T. Troy Stewart, “You’ll of course have the decency not to tell anyone I spoke to you.” “Of course!”
@T. Troy Stewart,
blazing saddles is hilarious…
talledega nights
The room’s startin to spin real fast… cause of… cause of all the gayness…. ricky bobby
Does that blow your mind? That just happened-ricky bobby when I have done something awesome which is all the time…..
Man, I gotta lay off the peyote-Ricky’s daddy… very appropriate when I forget shyt
Problems? I don’t want to hear about your damn problems! My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle, My dog just threw up somebody’s finger, That’s a problem-random dude on the bus
Here’s the deal I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence-ricky bobby
I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life. -carl naughton jr
I am rasing sons, if Iwanted sissies I would have named dr quinn and medicine woman (this one aint exact wording but hey close enough)…..ricky bobby
shake and bake!
@shay_d_lady, I love Talladega Nights!
She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee pants all day. I’m still sittin in my dirty pee pants. -Texas Ranger
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin there in your ghost manger, just lookin at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers. -Ricky Bobby
@shay_d_lady,
lmao i say “that just happened!” too!!
“But Miss Scarlett, I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no babies!”
Gone with the Wind
used (less than an hour ago) to describe a normally quite vociferous ghetto chick who is all of a sudden real nice and respectful when white people show up. i love my people but, FYI, “we’s free!” (amistad, right?)
I have a de-favorite quote from Waiting to Exhale. When Angela Bassett’s husband walks into the room to tell her he’s going to the party with his mistress: “She [and Angela Bassett is like "She!?"] She doesn’t wanna be alone tonight. And I figured, why should she be?”
B*tch! Any man anywhere in my proximity is getting cussed the hell out just for GP. because that takes me to a place. Hell, it could be my daddy. “huh. Who the hell is SHE, Daddy!? Men. Yeah! That’s how yall do!!!!! Some d*mn ‘she’…”
@charli skipper,
Deep breath girl, deep breath.
um….cleary this was supposed to be a reply to Nola. But, whatever.
@charli skipper,
why are all my replies becoming separate comments?! i’m devastated.
and very sleepy….
DAMN DAMN DAMN, two of my favorites were already named, but I’m naming them again!
1. Aint nobody coming to see you, OTIS!
2. Get yo sh*t, Get yo sh*t, and get out!
Ahhh yes, that’s the stuff. Here are some other faves:
1. I coulda had a V8 (waiting to exhale)
2. Everybody slippin, dippin, falling in love and sh*t, falling in love ain’t SH*T! Somebody talk to me please,about how you stay there… (Love Jones)
3. I am from Detroit, MOTOWN! So you can watootsie your monkey ass back to AF-RI-CA if you want to! (School Daze)
@8th Wonder,
Props on the “School Daze” quote. I need to reincorporate that line into my daily lexicon ASAP.
@8th Wonder, “Everybody slippin, dippin, falling in love and sh*t, falling in love ain’t SH*T! Somebody talk to me please,about how you stay there… (Love Jones)”
Word.
@8th Wonder,
Also: “I’m bout to break it down, so it can forever and consistently be brokkkkkkke”
I love that movie.
@Dante_Alexander,
Me too. Here’s another of my faves:
Wood: Its so easy to think that all brothas want to do is bone. Sometimes you just wanna hug, cuddle a little bit. You know, scratch my back, I’ll rub yours. Ain’t you progressive enough to understand that?
Sheila: N*gga, I got your progressive.
@8th Wonder,
There are many…
“Just get up… and walk away”
“Try a breathmint, and a Visa”
“When that Jones come down… It can be a muthafucca!”
“You stompin up and down the street like somebody done stolt yo fuggin bike”
“That’s a fumble” (But this is MUCH funnier when you actually do the movements.)
@Dante_Alexander,
I’m gonna get some muh-fluckin Toasted Oats!
@Beez,
Jeebus Cripes… I can’t believe I forgot that one.
That’s my favorite one…
@Dante_Alexander,
Nina: This isn’t like, a working…hearse…is it?
Wood: Nah, ain’t been no dead muf*ckas in there since I bought it.
We can do this all day.
waiting to exhale
what have you done, besides screw him, that makes him want to take you home to meet his momma?
grrr?
Oooh, I forgot one that I use at least once a week:
Every night, I gotta prove my love! (5 Heartbeats)
This was a great post – here’s my contribution:
1.) Coming to America, Prince Akeem: “No chemicals, just fruits and berries.” I use this one anytime someone asks me about anything with my hair. However, when someone with “good hair” starts talking about their hair I say “That ain’t nothing but a Ultra Perm.
2.) The Temptations, David Ruffin: “Ain’t nobody coming to see you Otis! You WISH you could work it like I do!” So true, sometimes you have to tell people they’re not the center of the world.
3.) The Watchmen, Rorschach: (Let me say first of all, I’m a baby comic book nerd. If you’ve never read the Watchmen you should – its crazy and Rorschach is a gangsta. Think Ledger’s Joker times 5.)
a.) “This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the wh*res and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”" (I don’t necessarily use this one everyday, but I love the quote.)
b.) None of you understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me. (Sometimes you gotta let people know you’re the craziest, most gully person in the room.)
c.) Even in the face of Armageddon, never compromise. (You gotta stay true to you – even when stuff is going h*lla wrong.)
4.) The Hangover, Alan Garner: “I can’t believe he parked here. I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese.” That’s just funny. And: “I tend to think of myself as a wolfpack of one.” That’s funny and I do think of myself as a wolfpack of one!
5.) The Color Purple, (best movie ever) Ms. Celie: “Did I ever ask you for anything?! Did I EVER ASK YOU FOR ANYTHING?! No! I never asked you for nothing! Not even your sorry-a** hand in marriage! NOTHING! I never asked you for nothing!” That line and pretty much that entire scene is off the chain.
And finally – even though it’s not from a movie:
Chappelle’s Show, Racial Draft, White Representative: “You got yourself a Got D*mn deal, Rondell.” I use this ANYTIME, I’ m bargaining for something or agree to something.
That’s what I’ve got! Of course there’s a tons of loveable usable quotes but these are a few of my faves.
@Madame Zenobia, oh man #4 there were too many quotes to chose from that movies…major co-sign on that one!!!
@Madame Zenobia, speaking of the Racial Draft, I always use the line “tough luck nig!a, there’s always Fubu”
@T. Troy Stewart,
And I always say, “Goodbye fried rice, HELLO fried chicken!”
@8th Wonder,
lmao i love that line too!
@8th Wonder,
I’ve been waiting my whole life to say this….”Fah Shizzle!”
@8th Wonder, “And I always say, “Goodbye fried rice, HELLO fried chicken!””
you ah ROO!
@Madame Zenobia, Silky Johnston was hilarious:
What can I say about that suit that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan; It looks bombed out and depleted.
I’m very upset about what you said about my coat. I made it outta your mother’s pubic hair.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“The next muf*cka that says something while I’m talking, is getting shot…”
I also use that once a week. Can’t remember the name of Ice-T’s character, though.
@T. Troy Stewart, Quite chilly.
@T. Troy Stewart,
T. Troy Stewart – I don’t even know you and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you!
@Madame Zenobia, I love he Watchmen!!!
@Madame Zenobia,
i always loved to say after i’ve been embarrassed, “real mature rondell”
@Madame Zenobia,
First time commenter…and i pressed the reply button just to cosign on that Rorschach comment “None of you understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me!” Full marks, madame….full marks. i really need to start working that into the day-to-day playbook….
@inkspot, welcome!!!
@inkspot,
Welcome to the competitive world of VSB posting!
Watchmen is absolutely the truth, Rorschach is that dude. How’d you feel about the movie?
@Madame Zenobia,
“2.) The Temptations, David Ruffin: “Ain’t nobody coming to see you Otis! You WISH you could work it like I do!” So true, sometimes you have to tell people they’re not the center of the world. ”
When Ruff said “Ain’t nobody comin to see you Otis”, I wish the word “treated” had been invented back then because that was the perfect moment for that. He was thoroughly and ceremoniously TREATED!
Otis even had to lean back a little bit because he was so salty.
@Madame Zenobia,
Since we adding tv:
“Leonard Washington don’t get buck naked for nobody.”–World Series of Dice.
“Oooh, I was just supposed to take out the trash, she gon’ kill me”–Ashy Larry, World Series of Dice.
“Sorry I’m late, I got caught up in some poonanny”–Tron, Different Justice Systems sketch
“No, Katie can stay”–Mad Real World.
@Big Man,
Can we add
“Breeaaaasst Miilllk… you make my daaaaaaayyyy”
@Big Man,
“I plead the fizith!”
@Madame Zenobia,
If we goin Chappelle quotes I could do a whole comment thread on that one myself.
“He ICE GRILLED me. I don’t know why he was mad. We both know where he got that shirt from and it damn sure wasn’t the men’s department.”
Dead
“Do something to make me feel good”
“I got something to make you feel great”
The end of @layer’s Club…for some reason makes me laugh every time lol
@LusciousG,
Also, anything Dollar Bill said in the movie.
Actually, come to think of it, anything Bernie Mac ever said is a quotable. Especially in Cameos
“Fcuk em! Fcuk em up against the wall! Wit handcuffs on!!!” (House Party 3)
“Oooh! Oooooh! I remember you! used to call you Jawbone! (Also HP3)
“I’m bout to get my Jinn-Singgg…” (How to be a Player)
@Dante_Alexander,
You can’t forget Dollar Bill’s best quotes in Player’s Club:
“Blue, if I raise up it’s gon be trouble, trouble…now walk it off.”
or
“Welcome to the strippin game, potna…you ain’t nuuTIN…all you do is spin reCORDS, that’s all you do. Who you think you is…DJ Quick? Huh, Kid Capri?”
“I tell ya whatttt…you betta get on back out there and git out my faccccce…befo ya git swoll.”
@AkShone,
Like I said… Bernie Mac in a cameo was the KING.
A close second would be Samuel L. Jackson’s hairpieces, but you can’t quote those, only stare in awe.
@Dante_Alexander, for instance ….
“Shut-the f*ck-don’t say nothin’!”
Very useful Bernie Mac quote…hard for me though, since I try not to curse.
“Eat the cake Anna-May”
” I’ll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. ”
“McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?” – Superbad
“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men, but I ain’t never thought I’d have to fight in my own house! ”
“You told Harpo to beat me?”
“I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I’ll kill him dead ‘fo I let him beat me.” – The Color Purple
@NiazDad, I can’t believe i forgot about this great movie:
“Don’t nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window.”
“Every time I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator. Eatin’ up all the food. All the chitlins… All the pig’s feet… All the collard greens… All the hog maws. I wanna eat them chitlins… I like pigs feet. ”
“Aw, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. God. Oh, I’m hurt. Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. Oh, I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks”
“I got mind control over Deebo. He be like “shut the f**k up.” I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.”
“Break yo’ self Fool! ”
Save the best one for last:
“DDDDDDAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNN you just got knocked the fuck out!!!”
@NiazDad,
Yeeessss! I do got mind control over Deebo! Speaking of which:
“No sugar? D*mn. Y’all ain’t never got two things that match. Either y’all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger.”
“Why you always bringin’ up old sh*t?”
& from Next Friday:
“It’s Pinky, ni**a! Don’t say a word! Shut up! Before I bust a cap in yo’ ass. Now what’chu been done wit’ Day-Day and Roach? ……SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Now, who sent you?……(stomping around) SHUT UP!”
@Madame Zenobia, Oh man…that is like the best part of the Next Friday..LMAO
@NiazDad,
The Lord is my Shepherd, He know what I want. Miss Parker! Miss Parker.
@NiazDad, “You want some of this too old man??!”
*pause*
*points*
“….NO.”
@NiazDad,
I love the McLovin Irish R&B singer quote!
“Eat the cake Anna-May”
Oh yes! Just eat the cake Anna-Mae, please! It was a simple line of desperation and surrender…that line is my love.
@Cheekie, Yea got to love it!!!
From Silverado, Danny Glover’s character Malachi says, “That ain’t right and I’m tiiyed of what ain’t right!”
From one of those Eddie Murphy Clump movies, “Hercules! Hercules!”
Halle Berry in Boomerang, “Love should have brought your black a$$ home last night!” Cue the Toni Braxton tune
From Chappelle’s show, “Does Wayne Brady have to kill a b*tch?”
And my favorite from Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, Sidney Poitier saying, “I mean you all can DO the Watusi, but we ARE the Watusi”
@OneChele, HaHa, any time I’m excited by something mundane (a sale at walmart, per se) I say “Hercules, hercules!” with the clap. I know people look at me weird. Also if I tell people not to use the bathroom “for a good 35-45 minutes”… 2520s mostly, they also look at me weird. More of these quotes need to be worked into my daily lexicon, the more obscure the better.
OK, clearly all my Color Purple favs have been mentioned, as well as my Waiting to Exhale quotes, I especially like telling people “YOU’RE the motherfu**in’ improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out!” I think I said this on VSB last week, lol.
My brother and I used to always quote 2 lines from Malcolm X movie, the line where the police captain says “That’s too much power for one man to have”, and our favorite: Jumping up at random times shouting “I.am.Mal-colm.Egg-eess” it truly brought us joy.
Napoleon Dynamite is great for quotables, I love “Eat the food!” and responding to how your weekend was with “I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Gosh!” is always great.
The following Friday quotes do not necessarily need to be in context: “You aint got to lie Craig, you aint got to lie”, “he gon cry in the car”, “Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey”, except I substitute money with food. I don’t play about food. Also, the whole “Y’all ain’t never got two things that match”, and I stay telling people they are “fu*king up the rotation”. One of my fav exchanges in the movie:
Smokey: Yeah, I got your money. And I don’t appreciate you sendin’ your punk-ass, busta-ass, jerri curl wearin’-ass friends down here to shoot at me and my homies. They’d like to got dealt with.
Big Worm: First of all, don’t be callin’ here like you some straight up G, cause I’ll cut ya balls off and hand ‘em to ya, patna. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it’s the principal. There’s principalities in the whole thing.
Having principalities is important, irregardless of the situation. Like, interrupting folks when they are clearly tryna conversate? Not an ounce of principality. And you know this, man.
Last not but not least, the line that cracks me up to this day: “I got mind control over Deebo. He be like “shut the f**k up.” I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.”
@overit., lmao at my use of quotations, I’m tired and literally have one eye closed. I just had to comment before the swarm.
@overit., how you gone forget the most memorable of all malcolm x quotes
“get yo hand outta my pocket”
I actually said this in an office meeting, when they were trying to set us up with th okie doke on some no more bonuses is a good thing bull
only 1 person got the ref..everyone else looked wierd cause I was sitting in the corner so no one was near me. but oh well they think im crazy anyway
@shay_d_lady, OMG, girl, i was tired. that is THE line, lol. i actually yelled this out in a dc movie theatre once, the projector just stopped working and it was pitch black. my bff and i decided to bring the comic relief. it was hilarious!
@shay_d_lady,
The visual of you isolated in the corner in the back of a meeting, muttering that, while people look at you funny has made my day.
@shay_d_lady,
YES! “Get you hand outta my pocket” is THEE quote to say in a crowd.
I secretly wanted to do this at the Taste of Chicago, but it’s too dayum hot to be riling up folks.
@overit.,
lmao etwin you’s a daggone fool.
oh, and how could i forget the movie with some of the best lines ever!:
“maaaaaaaaaarrcus. i’m not wearing any p**ties.” [triflin! yet endearing.]
“Love shoulda brought your a*s home last night!” [exact-ly.]
“When I seduce you…if I decide to seduce you….don’t worry. You’ll know.” [bow bow bow. and how could she possibly be a chick you need to avoid? surely you jest.]
@charli skipper,
my FAVE quote from boomerang, spoken by big head bubble-butt herself:
“some muthaf*ckas are so blind they can’t see a good thing when it’s starin them in the face! why don’t you just leap ya black @$$ off the ledge the ledge then? f*ck you!”
@charli skipper,
“maaaaaaaaaarrcus. i’m not wearing any p**ties.” [triflin! yet endearing.]
YES! Bonus points if you — like me — can do the Eartha Kit purr. I’ve been imitating her since I was a shorty. Which is…sad.
@Cheekie,
lol!
A couple…
All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for no one – Tony Montana, Scarface
A guy told me one time, “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.” – Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro) Heat
@Maximillian,
random: It’s a substance abuse problem, brotha. Where is your empathy?
Hanna (DeNiro): Empathy was yesterday. Today you’re wastin my MF’in time.
@Maximillian,
Yes, that De’Niro Heat quote is classic.
@Maximillian,
That Heat quote is words to live by. Good look. ***e-pound***
Bond.
Not a movie, but “you ain’t got no job,man” from Martin…I say this at some point to people who introduce themselves with their title, especially if I’ve had a drink or two and your profession has nothing to do with the conversation.
“Number 69 garlic chicken with rice” from Brownsugar…just shouted randomly. If my BFF is with me, we will do the complete rhyme. We may even finish up with “the ho is mine”.
“When life turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world.” from the Lion King…sometimes you have to do your own thing and be confident in the fact that it will work even if nobody else believes it.
“You’re too old for this club, not the earth” and “I would tear that ass up” from Knocked up…Actually random parts of the bouncers speech from that movie.
“All babies want to get borned” from Juno. That lines just crack me up and when I see a bad @$$ kid that I think should’ve been aborted, I chant this to stop myself from choking their parents.
“That boy got stretch pants” from Roll Bounce, used to describe the skinny jean epidemic that has plagued our society as of late.
@I was wondering…..,
I forgot “Naw, F#&k that!!” from the “When keeping it real goes wrong” skit of Chapelle Show.
@I was wondering…..,
“I don’t like with when people play on my PHONE!”
@I was wondering…..,
you and your BFF sound like me and my brother–we quote Brown Sugar, esp the Hip Hop Dalmatiasn lines, ALL DEE TIME!! we have conversations in quotes and leave each other vmails in Brown Sugar-speak.
@Gem of the Ocean,
“The H* Is Mine” is a hip-hop CLASSIC.
@BlackBerry Molasses,
It is. What make sit so great is that it would probably dominate the charts in real life.
I’m first in liiinnnnnnne….
@Cheekie,
gotta get her. gotta get her. gotta get that b*tch
“that was ridiculously whack….”
“be out then!”
lol
Not a movie, but “you ain’t got no job,man” from Martin…I say this at some point to people who introduce themselves with their title, especially if I’ve had a drink or two and your profession has nothing to do with the conversation.
“Number 69 garlic chicken with rice” from Brownsugar…just shouted randomly. If my BFF is with me, we will do the complete rhyme. We may even finish up with “that ho is mine”.
“When life turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world.” from the Lion King…sometimes you have to do your own thing and be confident in the fact that it will work even if nobody else believes it.
“You’re too old for this club, not the earth” and “I would tear that arse up” from Knocked up…Actually random parts of the bouncers speech from that movie.
“All babies want to get borned” from Juno. That lines just crack me up and when I see a bad @$$ kid that I think should’ve been aborted, I chant this to stop myself from choking their parents.
“That boy got stretch pants” from Roll Bounce, used to describe the skinny jean epidemic that has plagued our society as of late
@I was wondering…..,
Ohhhhh sheet! Roll Bounce had my dyin when he bust out:
“SWEETNESS! LET’S DO THISSSSSSSSS!”
@I was wondering…..,
I love you for also using Lion King quotes in your life.
“I laugh in the face of danger…HA.HA.HA-HAH!”
@Cheekie, I quote Lion King, ALL the time!
@shri fry rye,
*hugs you*
@Cheekie,
The one I use is “I despise guessing games”
Anytime somebody says guess what to me… Anytime
@A-Town Genius,
By the way, Scar was 140% gay.
@Cheekie,
Oh I know. He stayed off by himself with a bunch of hyenas. I ain’t see him bag one lioness through the whole movie.
I have lots but it is late\early so I will come back.
Color Purple “it`s goin rain on yo head“. I use
This often when somebody about to do some dumb sh•t that I warned them not to do.
Color Purple ”I said fine wit me”.
Silence of the Lambs “What did you see clarice?”
Silence of the Lambs ”it puts the lotion on it`s skin” My kids have no idea where this comes frrom
But crack up when I say it to them.
5 Heartbeats ”nights like this I wish that raindrops would fahahahahall”
Coming to America ”why does she always get the good ones”
Me and my friends use this when one of us is approached by the worst looking dude in the club lol.
Players Club ”make that money don’t let that money make you”
@yaa,
“Color Purple ”I said fine wit me”. ”
Oprah has defined the way to deliver statements. Because of her, I don’t just say “Hell naw”, I say, “I said hellll naw”. Even if I just said it the first time, I say ‘I said…”. lmfao
A Soilder’s Story…
Master Sergeant Vernon Waters: “You know the damage one ignorant Negro can do? We were in France in the first war; we’d won decorations. But the white boys had told all them French gals that we had tails. Then they found this ignorant colored soldier, paid him to tie a tail to his ass and run around half-naked, making monkey sounds. Put him on the big round table in the Cafe Napoleon, put a reed in his hand, crown on his head, blanket on his shoulders, and made him eat *bananas* in front of all them Frenchies. Oh, how the white boys danced that night… passed out leaflets with that boy’s picture on it. Called him Moonshine, King of the Monkeys. And when we slit his throat, you know that fool asked us what he had done wrong? ”
Master Sergeant Vernon Waters: “Them Nazis ain’t all crazy. Whole lot of people just can’t seem to fit in to where things seem to be going. Like you, CJ. See, the Black race can’t afford you no more. There used to be a time, we’d see someone like you singin’, clownin’, yassuh-bossin’… and we wouldn’t do anything. Folks liked that. You were good. Homey kind of nigga. When they needed somebody to mistreat, call a name or two, they paraded you.Reminded them of the good old days. Not no more. The day of the Geechie is gone, boy. And you’re going with it. “
@Srgt. Vernon Waters,
This whole movie was fantastic.
The movie Tombstone.
Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday: Sir I have not yet begun to defile myself.
@Trillionaire Wood, Val Kilmer killed in that role.
@Trillionaire Wood,
“I was just kidding , Doc. I got a lotta friends”
“I don’t.”
@Trillionaire Wood,
“I’m your Huckleberry”
We are the Time-Haters. We’ve traveled back in time… to call ya a cracker.
At the end of the day: “Give us FREE!”
When driving: “Light speed is too slow. We’re going to have to go to… Ludicrous Speed!”
Another way of telling folks that they need more people: “You ain’t got to LIE Craig! You ain’t got to lie!”
When saying goodbye “You and me, us never part.”
(all the previously mentioned The Color Purple quotes)
F*ck everything: “Life is BULLSH*T, Miroki!”
Just to be an ass with my man: “No, no, NO! God put our mouths on our heads for a reason, NO!”
“Sa da tay!”
Randomly Singing “I have no legs! I have no legs!”
@blackberry molasses is going to work today…
I forgot:
Lusting after cars/men: “I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.”
@blackberry molasses playing hooky from work,
Randomly Singing “I have no legs! I have no legs!”
Yes!!!! LOL
@blackberry molasses playing hooky from work,
“Randomly Singing “I have no legs! I have no legs!””
YES! Skateboards are the new wheelchairs. My cousin and I used to TRIP over this quote. You just brought me back to the golden days.
“GO…GET TO THA CHOPPA!” – Arnold S; Predator
Not a movie, but love the quote: “Respect my authoritah” – Cartman; South Park
@Brotha Tech,
lol @ Cartman. I love that quote
@Brotha Tech,
Respect my AUTHORITAH!!!!!
OMG, I say that at least once a week.
@yaa
“It puts the loition on it’s skin” – me and the wifey say that to each other when one of us is ashy. We die everytime one of gets caught!
@Brotha Tech,
LOL that’s cute
That was def the best acting he ever did, well that and Jim Morrison from “The Doors”
@Stix, that was meant to be in reply of “Trillionaire Wood”
“Badges? We no need no stinking badges!” – I got it from Blazin’ Saddles, but it’s been used so many times in so many movies, that I’m not sure where it originally cam from!
Oh and this one:
“I got mind control over Debo. He be like “shut the fcuk up!”; I be quiet.. but when he leave, I be talking again”
@Brotha Tech,
We also use “yeah wel yeah… she blacka then a mufugga too” as often as possible…
@Brotha Tech, Debo’in is a word me and my friends use when somebody trying to convince you of their bs LOL. One of my friends has the gift of gab so we constantly find ourselves telling her to stop “DEBO’in” us!!
Ya’ll already took all my Color Purple and Coming to America quotes…so I’ll co-sign those.
“I love my son, I love my dead ghey son!”~Heathers
“My doctor does not want me doing anything that involves balls flying at my face”~ Clueless
“Don’t you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby”~Talladega Nights
“It’s niiiice”~Borat
“She passed the door test.”/”I thought her name was something exotic like Monique or Danielle”~A Bronx Tale
Any quotes from GF1 or GF 2
And my personal favorite ( my sister’s too…lol) This gem from Joe Pesci in Casino.
I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I’ll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and… walk in and see and, uh… if you don’t have my money for me, I’ll… crack your fcukin’ head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I’m comin’ out of jail, hopefully, you’ll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I’ll split your fcukin’ head open again. ‘Cause I’m fcukin’ stupid. I don’t give a fcuk about jail. That’s my business. That’s what I do.”
@miss t-lee,
“My doctor does not want me doing anything that involves balls flying at my face”~ Clueless
Yes, Clueless has endless quotes. Anytime someone says something mean to me, I say, “That’s way harsh, Ty” regardless of their actual name.
And I loved Bronx Tale when he assumed Jane had an exotic name with his 50-syllable arse name. lmao
I also randomly bust out into the Borat accent at times.
@Cheekie,
More Clueless gems of the top of my head
“He’s a cakeboy!” (which my brother still says to refer to the ghey persuasion NTTAWWT)
“Always have something baking when he comes over”
“Did the death of Sammy Davis Jr., leave an opening in the Rat Pack?”
“This is an Alaya, a totally important designer. And I will totally shoot you in the head”. *whining*
The Bronx Tale line straight killed me. Poor C…lol
@miss t-lee,
I think I watched Clueless everyday from ages 13-15.
“I was surfing the crimson wave! I had to haul ass to the ladies’.”
“Lucy’s from El Salvador! Its an entirely different country! You get mad if someone thinks you live below sunset.”
“Why am I even talking to you? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”
@8th Wonder,
“Lucy’s from El Salvador! Its an entirely different country! You get mad if someone thinks you live below sunset.”
“I am NOT a mexican!!!!!”
*sniggling*
@8th Wonder,
LMAO yessssssss!!
“you know i don’t speak mexican”
@miss t-lee,
Oooh, you sparked my mind with Joe Pesci
“You think that’s funny? Do I amuse you?”—Goodfellas.
That line was nasty.
@Big Man,
Oh mayne…Joe had plenty lines in Goodfellas, Casino, hell…even My Cousin Vinny, and 8 heads in a duffel bag…lol
@Big Man,
“You think that’s funny? Do I amuse you?”—Goodfellas.
I loved when Joe Pesci was stabbing ol’ dude in the trunk repeatedly. He was killin’ him dead!
But yeah, the “How am I funny” spiel is a classic. He had Henry lookin’ salty as hell. I loved how everyone got silent…it was so tense. lol He’s a fool.
“Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels.”
“You motorboating son of a bitch!”
-Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers-
@Brandon St. Randy,
The Kings of Improv right there, I swear it.
@Brandon St. Randy,
Wilson brother, when he and Vince mend fences but then vince tells him he’s engaged.
“Get out.”
What?
“Kindly. Leave.”
I say this often when someone says something suddenly inappropriate.
things i actually say from the anchorman….
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch.
Take me to Pleasure Town.
60% of the time it works, every time.
I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.
I use at least one of these quotes everyday, and it’s usually completely out of context, which it makes the quotes even funner…yes I said funner….
@N.I.A. naturally,
Yes, I was waiting for someone to say Anchorman. I’m also a fan of
“I’m throw something out there. If you like it, take it. If you don’t, just send it right back. ”
-(I use this religiously, whenever I propose soemthing. Situatuins vary; from what time to meet up to go out, or whether or not to go to my place for drinks after a date, to where to go to eat for lunch with co-workers. It applicable to anytime you want to make a suggestion)
“Baxter, you know I don’t speak Spanish, English please”
-(Whenever someone is talking nonsense)
“I’m not even mad, THAT’S AMAZING”
-(in reference to baxter eating a whole roll of cheese and pooping in the refrigerator. Instead I use it whenever something dubious happens, yet I find my myself fascinated. For example, whenever I hear someone say they’ve actually watched any episodes of “Tiny & Toya” on BET or anything on BET for that matter.)
@Carey G,
I use #3 all the time. lol! Anchorman is full of the greatest quotes. love that movie!
@N.I.A. naturally,
I have also been known to say “… I mean that thing is Goooood. I wanna be friends with it” about random sheet throughout the day.
@N.I.A. naturally,
I like to greet friends with, “Como esta, bitches.”
@8th Wonder,
YES!
@8th Wonder,
Its Always Sunny?
@Dante_Alexander, one of the funniest shows on television.
Also one of those shows and movies that make you wish there was a Black counterpart.
@N.I.A. naturally,
lmao Anchorman quotes are the BEST!!
@N.I.A. naturally,
“There are thousands of other men I should probably be with but I’m 72% sure that I love you!!”
I lurrrrrvvveesss Anchorman!!!
@N.I.A. naturally,
Usually when I find something good I use this one
“It’s got bits of real panther in it so you know it’s good”
Coming to America, Reverend Brown after the announcement of the engagement, “He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho, YES, He helped Daniel get out the lions den, Yes, He helped Giiiiiiliiiigaaan get off the I-land”
Step Brothers, The sister in law talking to Will Ferrell’s character, “I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my v*gina”
I’ve used this line at least twice this week already!
@Complex Simplicity, that’s a woman I’d like to meet…I think.
Man i was waiting for Tombstone to pop up, that movie is my sh!t. i can quote the whole thing.
‘Why Johnny ringo, you look like someone just walked across your grave.’
‘Im your huckleberry…’
It’s my birthday! Yay!!!
Um….that’s all I got. lol. Most of my faves have been posted already. I’ll try to think of others as I sit at work. *sigh* Although they did get me cupcakes at the plantation.
Oh, and ‘my office hours are from nine to five.’ *dangles ungrateful coworker out of second floor window*
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
happy birthday
@Liz,
thank you!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy Birthday chick!!
@miss t-lee,
thanks lady!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy Birthday!!!
@N.I.A. naturally,
thank Y.O.U.
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy Birfday, girlie!!
*does the Leo foxtrot*
@Cheekie,
leos rock!!! *does jig* thanks!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy Birthday!!!!!
@Happy Meal,
gracias!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy Born Day!!! **Special Edition SG ONLY Diva Dust XO ™**
@BlackBerry Molasses,
i feel so special and sh!t. thanks!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
Happy B-Day!
@BlkBond,
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody,
sooooo sorry– i missed this before. but…
FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Gem of the Ocean,
gracias, chica!
@It’s SouthernGirls Birthday!!! *gold stars* for everybody, Happy Bday!
@shri fry rye,
From Friday
“My neck, my back, my neck and my back.”
‘Whats up big PERM…i mean big worm”
“He think he a mac..Macaroni.” seriously, who wrote that into the script.
Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When he here, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin’ again.
From the Office: That’s what she said.
From Chappelle show: Eff yo couch
The entirety of the West Side Story, the Labyrinth and Princess Bride
I have also been known to start singing the Soul Glo song for no reason. It’s a great ice breaker in the right company
@Captain Morgan,
““He think he a mac..Macaroni.” seriously, who wrote that into the script.”
An ignant genius.
@Captain Morgan,
“and Princess Bride”
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
@miss t-lee, YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!
I still quote that sh*t.
Billy Crystal had some of the best lines:
Fezzick : “I’m part of the Brute Squad”
Miracle Max: “You ARE the Brute Squad.”
“He’s only MOSTLY dead!”
@BlackBerry Molasses,
Yeah my lil brother and I used to say that all the time, play fighting in the backyard…lol
@miss t-lee,
Miss T-Lee…. I may develop an e-crush with you. First you understand the coontastic contagious melody of OJ the Juiceman, then you quote one of my favorite childhood movies. Could it be…?
(Plays Maxwell “Maybe”…)
Bond. BlkBond.
P.S. AYE!! AYE!!!!
@BlkBond,
LOL! You are hilarious. Let’s just say I appreciate all forms of ridiculousness.
Aye!
(You heard “Gettin’ Money”?)
*snickering*
@miss t-lee,
LOL! You know I did. My brother bought that one to my attention, lol. Now we have started to drag out the word ‘hundred’ to ‘hunud”. Convo example below:
Bond to Bond-Brother: What’s going on in Dallas?
Bond Brother: Nothin’ but them huuunuds..(laughs)
Bond: AYE! AYE!
LMAO..!!!
Bond. BlkBond.
@BlkBond ,
Niiice.
@Captain Morgan,
ooooh, i lurve the princess bride.
never go against a sicilian when death is on the line!! a ha ha ha *dead*
you can die too for all i care!!! as yooooooou wish…oh my dear sweet wesley what have i done?!?! *tumble down the hillside*
good luck storming the castle boys!!!
ROUSes? I don’ t think they exist. *attacked*
we are men of action. lies do not become us.
to the PAIN!!!
oh, i could go on and on….
I never thought about how hard it is to quote things off the top of my head when you actually ASK for it. I can do it all day in casual conversation (same thing with the Jay-Z lines… P, we need to rap a taste about it), but actually thinking of sheet to type here today that I use often is hard then a mugg. But I shall attempt.
Other than the aforementioned “I’mma take em as disrespect” quote from “40 Year old Virgin (and the accompanying [Clap clap, clap clap] BOTH ‘ALL NINJAS!!), I could quote many of those movies ad nauseam, because they are full of quotables. However the trick to any good usage of quote-tasticness is the ability to say a line from an obscure movie that everyone may have heard of, but nobody remembers lines. Like Black Spring Break: The Movie.
Speaking of that movie, one of the best lines ever comes from therein: “Southboy… You bout to go to the IN-Eff-Ell. Ain’t no chick you meet from now on gon be no lady! They gon be nothin but a money grubbin, gold diggin, foot draggin arse beetch!”
Cam’ron: “You ain’t even peep how I put my leg up” (Paid In Full)
Cam’Ron: “Whole cake, b.” (Paid In Full)
Jay-Z: “I… I meant kidnap the beetch” (State Property)
Dame Dash: “Its a high probability that she MIGHT come back pregnant, cuz she’s kinda cute, and I’m diggin her feet.” (State Property)
Tom Hanks: “So I said… That’s good!!… One less thang.” (Forrest Gump)
John Travolta: “Know that! Thank You! Next Question” (Face/Off)
Chazz Palmentieri: “Whattayagonnado.” (Bronx Tale, but really any mafia movie… They all fooking say “whattayagonnado” at some point)
There are a MILLION more of these, and it’s actually hurting my brain to acces old files that are buried on the ‘ol hard drive. I tend to pull quotes and what not out my arse in my posts here, so hopefully a couple of your posts will jog my memory banks and I can put a couple more up.
Great fooking way to start the most irrelevant day of the week off. I thank you, kind sir.
@Dante_Alexander,
“Chazz Palmentieri: “Whattayagonnado.” (Bronx Tale, but really any mafia movie… They all fooking say “whattayagonnado” at some point)”
Bascially…lol
@Dante_Alexander, People really sleep on State Prop and State Prop 2. Rocafella made some funny arse movies
@Peysonic Temple,
El Pollo Loco is one of the greatest characters ever created, along the lines of Uncle Rico and Rob Schnieder in Adam Sandler movies.
@Peysonic Temple, “Rocafella made some funny arse movies”
This is the truth . . . I am trying to remember the scene when Camron was talking to Mekhi Pfifer’s little brother . . . we used to rewind that part OFTEN . . . trying to be cool wit little man then went in on him for having a big @ss head.
@IVR,
Paid in Full.
“Wassup lil man?”
“Wassup!”
“Yeah, you need to get that lil ninja a medallion for that big arse head”
@Dante_Alexander,
That Dame Dash line is a classic! I had forgot about it but right back into everyday conversation it goes now. Thanks
The Golden Child
‘I SHOULD BE PURGED! PURGE ME! FOR I HAVE WRONGED MY DEAR BROTHER NUMPSE!’
My newest favs. from The Hangover *spoiler alert*
actually anything the bearded guy said. Yeah everything he said in the movie killed to me.
@WuDaMan,
sombody should have something from Gran Torino up ins.
@WuDaMan,
& I thought Funny People was good so was 500 Days of Summer. But you didn’t hear that from the kid
@WuDaMan,
Yo the song quoting is toooo easy though for a blues fan though.
@WuDaMan,
I cracked the hell up when Clint’s character called that little kid, “eggroll”. I was on the FLOOR.
@Cheekie,
Yo Clint went off in that movie. He cold pulled a real to life south park no slapstick character. Motha Effin Geinious.
@WuDaMan,
“the time has come for everyone to clean his own backyard”
Not only is it a great Cypris hill line. It is also a line be for someone gets blugeoned to death in the remake of “kiss of death”
The Hangover: “We’re not going to leave a baby in the room. There’s a F*KKIN’ TIGER IN THE BATHROOM!”
@SouthernCharm,
OMG, I love that movie. We are looking to recreate it for my BFF’s bachelorette weekend
@SouthernCharm,
“HEY CARLOS NOT @ THE BREAKFAST TABLE”
LMAO!
@SouthernCharm,
Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon.
It’s not illegal, it’s frowned upon, like… masturbating on an airplane.
A few quotes from two of my favorite movies
“That n***a wanted the honey, all we wants is the money”
“What the fuq is this? I got too much money for this ish.”
“It’s time for you to start paying some dues n***a”
“All b*****s are the same, just like my h**s I keep em broke. Wake up one morning with some money the subject they go crazy. You know I keep em looking pretty and all that but no dough.”
“When I get a b***h I got a b***h”
“This ain’t the first time for you trick”
“Now you don’t get me my money TONIGHT. I’ma put that young girl of yours on whores row.”
“I’ma rich n***a. I got lawyers. Ya beat walking muthafuqa”
oh how can I forget 1 of my favorites
Lean on me
Im the HNIC…-joe clark
_and contrary to popular belief IM the HNIC- the superintendant
it kills the brain cells son, it kills the brain cells…
if you wanna kill ya self, do it expeditiously son… Joe Clark
I dont have to do nothing but stay black and die-joe clark
@shay_d_lady,
“Expeditiously!!!” (I’m sure I spelled this wrong…lol)
“They used to call me crazy Joe, now they call me batman!”
Let me just say that I love love love that you started this post with a quote from forgetting Sara Marshall. I heart that movie and my bff and I send each other random text messages quoting different scenes from that movie.
but here’s a close second favorite…
“I bet I could collar up some of them greens, yeah, some crawfish out the paddy, yo’! Ha! I’m makin’ some crabapples for dessert now, yo! Hell yeah, ha!”
(Robert Downey Jr.; Tropic Thunder)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRlYm3-yJak
@MilkandCookies,
You never go full retard
@WuDaMan,
That was some legitimate advice for actors vying for an Academy Award.
Also, biopics…do those biopics.
Raji (Vince Vaughn) from Be Cool:
“Stop hatin’, start participatin’. Come on, twinkle twinkle, baby, twinkle twinkle. Wanna take a shot at me kid? Do it.”
“I’m just sayin’ if that’s what this is gonna be, it’s gonna be that. ”
“Once you turn f_ggot, you lose all the self respect. You’re not wired right! ”
Chili Palmer: “Dabu.”
Dabu: “Player! “
@Mr. Mister,
My favorite from this movie Be Cool is when Vince Vaughn says
“I’m throwin a party West Coast gangsta style.”
@Mr. Mister, if you liked Be Cool, you love the movie it was based off of – Get Shorty
Ray Bones to the limo driver after he arrives in LA to look for Chili Palmer:
“They say the fcuking smog is the fcuking reason you have such beautiful fcuking sunsets”
Cheekie’s Quotables (just a few):
The Color Purple: “Until you do right by me, everything you even think about is gonna fail”. Sometimes I wanna say that to The Man whilst doing the two finger curse. But, Imma have to have $200,000 in the bank first. I’m gettin’ there…
Goodfellas: “Business bad? F*ck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? F*ck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning huh? F*ck you, pay me.” I want someone to owe me money just so I can tell them this. But usually, the person that owes me money is my aunt or something and I respect my elders and ish.
As Good as It Gets: “It’s not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. ” I never knew what the eff that meant, but I LOVE this quote. It makes absolutely NO sense yet it makes complete sense. It’s all in the delivery (Jack Nicholson).
The Temptations: “Treats, Baby”. This was said by the cocaine pusher Ruffin was hanging out with, Flynn. I always say this when I have some goodies. Foolishness.
When Harry Met Sally: “You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance. ” I say this to the Mama all the time. She is a DIVA, but she plays the humble role well. But, that classy lady used to shop at Saks and ish on the daily with older men’s money. She know she high maintenance.
@Cheekie,
i said that Goodfellas line when we were told back in December that we will not be getting pay increases this year…i’m still pissed about that, too. F@ck you, pay me!!
@Cheekie,
Goodfellas: “Business bad? F*ck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? F*ck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning huh? F*ck you, pay me.”
I say this ish all the time. Whether or not people owe me money. Whether or not its appropriate. Its just so cold blooded.
Some random: “OMG I broke a nail!”
BBMo: “F*ck you. Pay me.”
@BlackBerry Molasses,
“Some random: “OMG I broke a nail!”
BBMo: “F*ck you. Pay me.””
AHAHAHA! Love it.
@Cheekie,
That cocaine pusher was hilarious!Wit his treats!
“We gone be friends, real good friends”
That line was 47% gay
@AngelicNastyness,
“We gone be friends, real good friends”
That line was 47% gay
LOL….sholl was. Whenever he says that, my niece says, “Not with that too-little hat you’re wearing”. HAHAHA!
That line was hella pervy and suss.
A couple of lines from the best movie of the YEAR (The Hangover)
“Hey this is Phil, leave me a message, or don’t – but do me a favor, don’t text me, it’s gay.”
“Rainman took over a casino, and he was a retard”
“She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”
“Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.”
That movie is filled with awesome
@Brotha Tech,
Make sure you pronounce ‘retard’ the correct way… according to dude with the beard. The ‘e’ is short vowel.
That killed me.
i have a few fave movies i like to quote from, like Anchorman, Coming to America, The Color Purple. and sometimes i say quotes i didn’t even know i remembered — then i spend many minutes figuring out what movie i just quoted.
a few every day quotes:
~if i run a stop sign/light… “i totally paused” (clueless)
~anytime i dont understand what’s going on… “when in rome…” (anchorman)
~if some one sees eye to eye with me or engages in my foolishness… “see? now you’re sh*ts comin out” (boomerang)
~when i dont agree with some one’s taste in something… “yeah, good and terrible” (coming to america)
~when i’m home and my mom is ignoring me… “mom! the meatloaf! i never know what she’s doing in there” (wedding crashers)
~when some one stumps me or proves me wrong… “nobody makes me bleed my own blood. nobody!” (dodgeball)
~some one does the sign for loser with their fingers… “L is for LOVE!” (dodgeball)
that’s all for now
@Gem of the Ocean,
god i love the Bleed my own Blood quote…
reminds me of the quote from the Goods
dj Request is asked to play a song, the background music gets dark and he says,
“many times they will test you…but nobody ever tells Dj Re-Quest what to play!”
@Gem of the Ocean,
That bleed my own blood line is a Simpsons quote actually and parodied in the movie.
@Dorian G.,
Wow, I didn’t know that, and I consider myself to be a Simpsons connoisseur.
@8th Wonder,
Yup http://bit.ly/QQvZt
2:50 mark
@Dorian G.,
Bless you sir.
@Dorian G.,
i don’t watch nor like the simpsons so i got the quote from DODGEBALL. and i say it with the voice of White Goodman.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Are you now or have ever been a member of the Communist Social Party?
On a side note, I have found that I quote pr0n extensively, and I actually don’t know how healthy that is.
But like, seriously, Wesley Pipes and Justin Slayer and Mr. Marcus have some of the funniest sheet ever said on film to their credit. I mean, I’ve blurted out “Its byootifool” in that trademarked lisp of Mr. Pipes many a time in reference to things as mundane as a piece of chicken on my plate. And I do so proudly. It also makes it EXTRA hilarious when you whip out a line from Bootytalk 64 and the random dude across the room hears you and busts out laughing.
its like a secret society.
@Dante_Alexander,
LMAO!!!!
*cause I’m in the secret society.
@miss t-lee,
Word.
In high school the football team used to yell out “High one, Beat Hand” and give each other high fives. It’s actually quite disgusting when you think about it, but no different than a blood in blood out style cut my hand first handshake, I guess.
*Gives miss t-lee high five with beat hand*
@Dante_Alexander,
LOL!!!!
“Get nasty with it.”
@miss t-lee,
“Uggh… yeah… Put that head down. No… Arch that back and put that head down… ugggh. Yeah.”
Word.
@Dante_Alexander,
*CTFU*
@Dante_Alexander,
smh. . .I’m ashamed to say I’m in it too:-/
@Dante_Alexander, all we ask is trust.
Lol Still.
When Will Ferrell sings for the first time
“…talking bout love, LURV, LOVE…”
When the father talks about how he used to want to be a dinosaur when he was a teenager, he son says
“But your human, you could never be a dinosaur”
“The fucking catalina wine mixer”
-stepbrothers
Now i just saw “The Goods” and this is how i the phone
“I’m Don ‘the Goods’ Ready, and i move mutherfucking cars.”
my favortie line of the whole movie is when ving rhaymes says
“i haven’t been home in a year and a half and im 90% sure i left my front door open”
-the goods.
Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you’re more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em floories.
Alan: Or rapies.
I almost cried when he said this one too:
Old Man: This is one sweet ride.
Alan Garner: Don’t touch it. Don’t even look at it. Don’t look at me.
[the old man walks away]
Alan Garner: That’s right. You better walk on. I’ll hit an old man in public!
1. From Glengarry Glen Ross. To use whenever I’m in a crappy mood and want to take it out on some unsuspecting individual.
Dave Moss: What’s your name?
Blake: F*ck you. That’s my name.
Blake: You know why, mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That’s* my name.
2. It’s not really a quote, but whenever I do something outstanding, something bigger than my body. I silently chant “Rudy. Rudy. Rudy.”
It makes me happy. Just like that movie.
@GiGi, Alec Baldwin’s best role. He ripped that movie and he was only in one scene. Great cast in general though.
From my favorite movie, Devil’s Advocate. Hopefully this quote doesn’t land me an express ticket to hades.
John Milton to Kevin Lomax: I want you to be yourself. Y’know, boy, guilt is like a bag of f*cking bricks. All you gotta do is set it down. Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it? God? Well, I’ll tell ya, lemme give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He’s a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives this extraordinary gift and then, what does he do? I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel-he sets the rules in opposition. It’s the goof of all time! Look. But don’t touch! Touch. But don’t taste! Taste. Don’t swallow! And while you’re jumping from one foot to the next, he’s laughing his sick f*cking ass off!! He’s a tight ass, he’s a sadist, he’s an absentee landlord!! Worship that never.
Al Pacino’s the greatest.
@Monk,
“Because, my boy… the law puts us into everything. Did you know, there are more lawyers in law school than lawyers walking the earth? We’re COMIN OUT! GUNS BLAZIN!”
@Dante_Alexander,
Fa’ Sho…
Bond.
Lean on ME:
You smoke crack, don’t you, boy? Don’t you smoke crack?
We don’t want a good principal, we want Mr. Clark.
Mr. Clark is not only Eastside High. Mr. Clark is like a FATHER! He’s the only father that people who don’t have fathers know! You don’t know a thing about Mr. Clark!
Mr. Clark doesn’t care about you cause you don’t take care of your responsibilities.
“Some muthafathers are so blind they don’t know a good thing when it’s staring them in the face. Whyon’t you just leap yo black arse off the ledge then, fcuk you!” (said in a run on sentence kinda way)
–Tisha Campbell’s rant to Marcus Graham from Boomerang. Havent said it, but have wanted to say it to a few individuals..
@Chris,
D*mn, GOOD catch! I’m off my game…
Bond.
“Effie we all got pain!” (Dreamgirls) I sing it to my moaning and complaining beggin relatives
When something outrageous happens…I usually say “Oh my sweet 8lb, 6oz baby Jesus!” (Ricky Bobby)
And this isnt’ from a movie, but when something is straight horriblicious, I’ll hit you with the “I wish I had more hands….” (Dave Chappelle)
@K to the…,
Oh and of course when giving foolish advice, “60% of the time it works…everytime!”
I also use quotes from Pulp Fiction in my everyday life. These are my faves:
1. Don’t talk to me about foot massages. I’m the foot f*ckin master.
2. Man you best back off, I’m getting a little pissed here.
3. What ain’t no country I ever heard of. They speak english in what?
4. You feel that sting? That’s pride f*cking with you.
5. I wouldn’t go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What’s the n*gga gonna do? He’s Samoan.
@8th Wonder,
Have I told you lately that olive juice.
What’s Fonzie like Honeybunny?
Pulp Fiction contains some truely superior cursing there whithin. Matter of fact only one off hand that has a better line would be in Blade II I think it went
Listen here sh*t kicker you are about one c#nt hair from being f0cked to hill billy heaven.
I may be mincing two different quotes but it still sounds great.
@WuDaMan,
“Have I told you lately that olive juice.”
You, my friend, get cool points for referencing “olive juice” and reminding me of another quotable “The Other Sister”.
“I can’t, Mother! I can’t paint! I can’t ride a horse and I can’t dance! But I can love! And I love Daniel.”
@Cheekie,
I loved that movie.
Especially the interestingly awkward ‘first time’ when they had the marching band music playing? Cringeworthy and cute all at the same time.
@WuDaMan,
Olive Juice too, Wu Boo!
@8th Wonder,
ooh what a dirty martini
dirty dirty martini
shake your hair
everybody look away there’s there’s nothing to see her
Ocho is this gonna be like the white snake video? There’s gonna be animal noises.
@WuDaMan,
“Is this really happening?”
“I’ve never heard you talk like that. I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm.”
LMAO!!!!
@8th Wonder,
And my all time favorite Pulp Fiction quote
“My!!!! This is a TASTY burger!!!!”
and 2nd
“Naw, I’m pretty fcukin’ far, from alright”
@miss t-lee,
“Does he look like a B*TCH? Then why you tryna f*ck him like a b*tch, Brent?”
@8th Wonder,
*cackles*
@8th Wonder,
D*mn!! That movie has some of the best dialogue ever written. It is Quentin Tarantino’s opus. Good look fam’.
Bond.
Let her go. Another Quaalude, she’s gonna love me again.~ Tony Montana
Perfect for all occasions
@CrissieD,
yea Hafina !!!!!!!!!! Hafina!!!!!!!!!!!! (head butts a mini mountain of coke)
Juno: Ummm, hi. I’m calling to procure a hasty abortion.
Juno: Bren…you’s a d!ck…I like it!!
Dude in the store: So, what’s the prognosis Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?
Anchorman….the ENTIRE movie….
40YOV…
Jay: whoa whoa whoa, I ain’t nobody’s ni99a!!!
Customer: You somebody’s ni99a wearin that ni99a tie!
Hangover…
(when Mr Chow throws alan’s bag)
Hey!!!! There are skittles in there!!!!
Mr Chow: Toodalooo mutha fu@&aaaaaaaaasssssssss!!
Mr Chow: It’s funny because he’s fat!!
Phil: Would you please put some pants on…I feel weird having to ask you twice!
Phil: Jesus…he’s like a Gremlin…comes with instructions and shite!!
I could do this all day….LOL!!!
A few of my favs……
“There is much to be learned from Beasts”..Bram Stokers Dracula circa 92
“Because you have been down there Neo, you know that road, you know exactly where it ends. And I know that’s not where you want to be.” ….. The Matrix
” There are no coincidences… only the illusion of coincidence.”
V for Vendetta
“Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it could make you sick.” Spiderman 2
I scrolled through waitin for someone to post about one of my all time- favorite movies.
“Come on eat the cake. See that? I ask her do something she won’t do it. White man ask her to open her mouth she sing all got damn day long.”
“If you f*$k up a step tonight, you’ll be frying fish tomorrow ”
“Yeah you sorry. you about the sorriest mutha f*cka I ever seen.” -Anytime anyone says they’re sorry
“Nah it “cool”. It ain’t cool till I say it’s cool.” -When people forget who runs ish.:-)
My man Larry had MAAD quotables. Just sayin regular ish with that inflection in his voice made it funny.
When they were in court and the judge says:
“Please instruct your client to remove his sunglasses this is a courtroom.”
Ike: “ooh-ooh you ain’t got to instruct me to do NOTHIN.”
Ike:”She don’t hold me like you do. I can’t even talk to her. You the onliest one I can talk to.”
Ike: What you don’t know the words?
Tina: Of course I can remember the words Ike, I wrote it!
Ike: Right.You wrote a mufkin song and can’t even remember the Got Dam words?!
@AngelicNastyness,
Ol’ Larry does know how to deliver a line.
I love when Tina slams his car door and breaks the window glass and he’s all,
“Now look what you done did, you gone and messed up a nice automobile”.
LMFAO. He was salty as hell. Who TALKS like that? It was so great.
@Cheekie,
I often wonder how long it took them to do those scenes, because I would have been struggling to keep a straight face. Can’t NOBODY deliver a bitter ass line like Larry.
Oh, and another one when Tina dyes her hair and all her hair comes out and one of the backup singers turns to the young beautician and says, “Now you KNOW you need an as*-whoopin’!”. I love that line. Because, it’s true…she did know.
@Cheekie,
That scene slays me every time..
@Cheekie,
Exactly. I’ve always watched “what’s love got to do with it” as comedy….I mean, I can’t help it. Between Fishburne’s over the top performance and that script?
Comedy gold…except for the domestic violence part and all.
@Cheekie,
How could I forget that scene.
“Come on’ Ann, now I done gave up that narcotic!”
@AngelicNastyness,
*cracking up*
Larry is a treasure to dialogue.
@Cheekie,
What about his assistant (or whatever)–the guy from Boston Public?? While Tina was recording “Nutbush.”
“Turn the volume down on that shirt. And gimme ya glasses so I can look at the ugly mf!”
Kills me every time.
Most of yall be watchin some bootsy L7 movies lol “fried green bannana”watchin ashs lol
Friday quotes
“you got knocked the fuq out” lol
“you aint put ends on this maaaaaaan”
“smoke dogg baby been smokin since i was 2″
“dont nobody go in the bathroom for bout 30, 45 min”
“she need some yung meat”
Menace Quotes – rubbers on extra tight= aint my kid lol in the menace book of law lol thought u knew
“Come on ninjas!!!!!!”
“you actin like a bish right now”
Belly
“you kno how bishes be lyin…….listen………listen……..”(cue up jungle music)
“i dont kno no fuqin ________(insert chick name here)”
my all time fav
from boomerang
“BANG, BANG, BANG” lol
“coooooooordianted”
@BLUNTBLAZER,
*DYING* @ “fried green banana”. Ain’t no one like you, Bluntblazer. lol
@Cheekie,
lmao indeed. no one like BB!
@Cheekie,
aint that a movie chick’s watch or sumthin?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
It’s called “Fried Green Tomatoes”.
You’re welcome.
@miss t-lee,
*still dying*
@BLUNTBLAZER,
My mother slapped me once for looking at her, and asking her if she thought she was Ron O’Neil or something.
The Mack:
35,000+1+6 means 7…$35,000 and 7 right? muthaf*cka can u buy that?!?
“You know the name of the game, your ***** chose me. Now we can handle this like some gentlemen or we can get into some gangsta ****.”
Do you know any n*ggas with b*tches in Hawaaaaaaii?
“Hey, I don’t hafta take this! I’m a rich *****! I thought you paid these pooh- butts off! You beat walkin’ mother****ers!”
“I aint runnin cus I aint no muthaf*ckin track star.”
“Stick yo self Tony! Stick yo self!”
@BLUNTBLAZER,
It’s the utter sincerity of your foolishness that I adore. lol One of a kind
@AngelicNastyness,
LOL…same here. That nicca is SO sincere.
“Way to think it through Frank, you get one vagina for the rest of your life” -Vince Vaughn in Old School
*Throws up hands* “We’re not knocking?” – Craig Kilborne in Old School
“Its so good…whe…when it touches your lips…its so good!” – Will Farrell in Old School
@Dorian G.,
Earmuffs billy *&%^$%%
‘Cause Brent don’t fit in the glory hole and that’s why we all love Brent! ~ Peter Griffin
Not from a movie but again perfect for all occasions.
From the amazing Juice, which my brother and I used to watch EVERY night one summer
Pac or Bishop “You gotta snap some collars and let them motherfuckers know you here to take them out anytime you feel like it! You gotta get the ground beneath your feet, partner, get the wind behind your back and go out in a blaze if you got to! Otherwise you ain’t shit! You might as well be dead your damn self!”
Q: ” Bishop, you’re crazy!
Bishop: You know what? Last time you said that, I was kinda trippin’, right? But now, you’re right. I am crazy. And you know what else? I don’t give a fuck. I don’t give a fuck about you. I don’t give a fuck about Steel. I don’t give a *fuck* about Raheem, either. I don’t give a fuck about myself.
this is the best part coming up
Look, I ain’t shit. And you less of a man than me, so as soon as I figure you ain’t gon be shit, *pow*! So be it. You remember that, motherfucker. ‘Cause I’m the one you need to be looking out for… *partner*!
This right here is the perfect line while playing PS3
Bishop: [to Steel at the video game] One, if I lose, I’m gonna beat that ass. Two, if I lose, I’m gonna beat that ass. So pop two quarters in, pop tart, and let’s get this game on, I’ll be gettin’ that ass!
“My name is Dashiki. That’s swahili for doggy style.”
–Don’t Be A Menace While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood
Plus I constantly use quotes from Martin.
American Pimp:
“The Green is for the Money, The Gold is for the Honey”-The Bishop
“I ain’t never took no square b**ch no where…and I don’t buy dreams. I sell’em”–Sir Captain
Kenny Red on the phone in the barbershop:
“Here go the b**ch right here…Hey B**ch! I already know what you gone say, b**ch, I already no problems..and I already told you you was gone be able to get it. Look B***h, the only thing you need to do is: Handle my bidness, get my money, don’t give me know problems, and everything gone be alright”
Kenny Red on Pimpin’: “Well, I wanted an easy job”
Kenny Red on why prostitutes needs a pimp: “If a b**ch don’t get no instruction she gone be headed for self-destruction, youknowhatImsayin’!!”
Rosebudd on growing his nails out: “Revlon bought my nails…they al used to grow long like that. Cause all I did was count money and touch b**ches. Talk ish and swallow spit”
Kenny Red on marriage: “It ain’t Matrimony it’s Mack-A-Roni!!”
Kenny Red on representing the pimpin’: “I represent the pimpin’ all across the nation: From the state capital, to the nations capital, from the pineapple to the big apple”
Bishop Don Juan’s Mother: “When he was pimpin, he never came home like he’s pimpin’. He always came home as a good…nice chile”
RJ: “Love don’t mix with this pimpin’!! what the hell you talkin’ bout!!”
RJ on international pimpin: “It’s gone be from ‘Frisco to Maine, all the way to Spain”
Kenny Red on the new pimps: “I don’t know if these n***az wanna be killas, gorillas….but most of these n***az look like godzilla”
I could go on all day.
Five Heartbeats:
“My office hours…”–Big Red
“Wha wha…what color you want?!!”–Big Red giving the boys their Cadillacs
“Stealin’ my moves…n***a even tryin’ to rift like me!!”–Eddie King Jr…the legend
“Y’all sure y’all wanna hang, wit’ old Eddie Kang”–Eddie King
Galaxy Quest:
“Never give up. Never surrender. alalalala…”–Bond family inside joke
Risky Business:
” Time of your life, eh kid?”–Guido to Joell
Closer (arguably the greatest and realistic relationship movie ever made):
“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But it’s better if you do”–Alice
“I don’t want to lie. I can’t tell the truth. So it’s over”–Alice
“You don’t know the first thing about love. Because you don’t understand compromise”–Larry
Dan: You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram.
Larry: Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Go f**k yourself you writer! you liar!
That’s it for me…for now.
Bond. Blk Bond.
@BlkBond,
pimps up 4shigggity
@BlkBond,
I salute you for breaking out American Pimp.
Damn you quoting documentaries.
Bond goes hard in the netflix
LMAO! Reading the comments section makes me want to run to Blockbuster (I don’t have Netflicks) and catch up on my movies…there’s so many on here that I’ve never seen…..
Most of the movies that I have seen that I quote have already been mentioned…don’t think i’ve seen Office Space quoted here though…..love that freaking movie…some quotes:
“We need to talk about your TPS reports.”
“The thing is, Bob, it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care”
“We get caught laundering money, we’re not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We’re going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison. ”
“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler” in the meek mumbling Milton voice
“I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We’re looking up “money laundering” in a dictionary.”
@klysha,
I love Office Space because it features one of my favorite all time songs. That, and it was mostly filmed here in Austin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rL9ihXiFAko
@klysha,
Oh, how could I forget Office Space! We make references to it here all the time at work. When we had the huge layoffs, we tried to lighten up the situation and threaten to burn down the building. And we’re always trippin’ over Milton being moved around to make an easier transition. LMFAO @ him still being on the payroll after being let go. That’s America, right there for ya.
Martin– Damn, Gina!
Doc Holiday/Tombstone– *It’s true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.
**AND YOU.. music lover!! You’re next.
Coming to America– *You must be outta yo gotdamned mind!!!
**What is that, velvet??
Trading Places– This is Persia! This is Persia!
40 Year Old Virgin–Do you know how I know that you’re gay
Dave Chappelle– 1-2-3-4-FIF!!
HavPlenty–*Do I look like a french fry? Do I look like a biscuit? (person answers no)
Then why are you trying to play me like a side order?
**You can choose to fcuk with that… or not.
The Count/Sesame Street– if a number is mentioned during convo, we must repeat it as in “4… 4 skirts…AH!! AH!! AH!!”
Eddie Murphy Raw-impersonating his father– Lilliannnnn cannot go outside. Lilliannnnn cannot use the phone!
Mia/Pulp Fiction in the bathroom ‘powdering her nose– I said gotdamned!!!
WHOLE MOVIES – HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART 1. BLAZING SADDLES
@Chantal7399, i KNOW i’m all late.. but Hav Plenty has to be one of the best B Movies.. ever made!! KUDOS for quoting it.. i’d forgotten all about it..
the letter that Lee wrote made me cry…
Do you have a phone bank, where I can return my pages?
@Jenny,
Uhm you probably get this a lot. Did Julius Caesar live here?
Since we’re doing TV
Anything that has even been said on a Boondocks epipisode. Period.
Especially:
“You ain’t sh!t without me. You without me equals sh!t. Now let me borrow yo’ car.” – Used interchangeably with the David Ruffin quotes
“Man, he’s good. Do you have his card?. . . Did you wash your hands?”
“Maaaan, F*ck BET” anytime siomeone references BET
“The f*ck YALL lookin’ at?”-Ed Wuncler the III – Whenever folks give me the side eye.
“The fam ain’t eatin cheddar biscuits but this random braod eat cheddar biscuits.” I substitute whatever food item I’m eying at the time, for biscuits.
“That’s very not gangsta, Ganstalicious.”
“You gonna pay what you owe, Santa”
And sometimes i just break out into Tom’s versions of “Make the Music with your mouth” or “Let it Burn”.
@AngelicNastyness,
I could quote boondocks all day, omg!
“AND, If R. Kelly goes to jail, I’ma piss on your cat!”
@8th Wonder,
We could have a battle royale on Boondocks quotes, fam.
CHALLLAaaaNGE!
(^ from that episode of the Cosby’s when he gets into the tap dance challenge wit Mr Sandman)
@AngelicNastyness,
LOL everybody knows where Challlllaaaaange comes from!
Well, if they were Black and living in 1988.
Anywho, challlaaaange on!
Its your turn.
@8th Wonder,
“What’s the matter, little Mulatto gal?” – Uncle Rukus
“Praise White Jesus”- Uncle Ruckus
“The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence” -Gin Rummy
“Oh yeah, I’m goin’ back! And I’m takin’ all y’all with me in a first class cabin on The A$$-Whuppin Express!!” -Stinkmeaner
I’ll leave his whole block filled with hot brass if I have to! And you know why? Cause I.JUST.DON’T.GIVE.A.F*CK!! Y’all sho you don’t want no breakfast? I got English muffins and peach jelly.”- Gin Rummy
@8th Wonder,
“Woah, this must be like crack feels like”- Riley
“Ew, Ms. Dubois, yo peach cobbler look like throw up.” (I say this at work potlucks often…)
@8th Wonder,
“Hey Robert, Id offer to help you wit your bags, but you’re a coon.” -Uncle RuKoo it’s French
@8th Wonder,
“I don’t think black people should ever use racist words when describing other black people. And if you do, then you’re a Sambo, and a Coon.” -
Bill Cos –
*does the cosby dance, yea that one
@AngelicNastyness,
My consistent Boondocks line:
Jail n*&*a, you gay!
@AngelicNastyness,
Okay clearly worked effed up my challenge, lmao!
You win by default, son!
@AngelicNastyness,
Uncle Ruckus talking to Jasmine on the Santa episode:
“I would expect that from a heathen niglet like Riley, but not from a good Mulatto like you.”
That is easily the greatest line of all time. Ever.
I am the movie quoting queen! Let’s see….I often end my morning Facebook statuses with a line from Coming to America: “I AM VERY HAPPPY TO BE HERE!”
or Samuel L. Jackson’s quote: “Who the FUCK is THIS asshole?”
Love Jones: “Everybody running, skipping and fallin in love and shit. Somebody, tell me how to stay there!”
When I get a call or text from a “blast from the past”, I think, “Hiii Dave! Haven’t seen YOU in awhile!/Dirty muthafucka!” (Dave Chappelle STD skit)
Another I use is, “You are cold as ice!” from Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories-Rick James
One of my favorites that’s slept on is from He Got Game. The guy in the hallway says to Denzel, “Dammmmmmn! Do you know me? Do you know my lady? Cuz you shole looking with whole lotta fuckin Fa-mili-ARITY!” Hilarious!
@Southern Lady,
“Another I use is, “You are cold as ice!” from Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories-Rick James”
I love this, mostly because I love me some “Fire and Desire”. Rick James says “You. were. cold. as. ice.” so effectively. Adds some punch to each word. lol
“A MF did time for what that MF does everyday.” (Heat)
“MAX, I DO THIS FOR A LIVING.” (Collateral)
“E ching, sh!t happens you gotta roll with the punches.” (Collateral)
“Some MFs always gotta ice skate uphill.” (Blade)
“For the next 24 hours all your thinking privileges are revoked.” (Gone in 60 Seconds)
“I know what he’s slingin.” (Fast and the Furious)
“Buckle up because Kansas is going bye bye.” (The Matrix)
“You were using me as bait!?
“Get over it.” (Blade)
She don’t want you anymore. Can’t you get that through your greasy head!” (Coming to America)
@Stank-0,
“I got lucky with the lights.” (Collateral)
“Catholic girls are the biggest freaks.” (Boyz in the Hood)
1) “What the hell I’ma do with 2 mo’ kids?” (whats love got to do with it)
2)”Court Order? I don’t give a damn about no court order”
3) “I heard that girl got you pu$$y whooped, you gotta flip it, and whoop that pu$$y” (both from Boomerang)
lol..my boyfriend and I ALWAYS quote lines from movie and tv shows..now I know we’re not alone
Oh yea…
“I got milk, water, Kool-aid, stawberry soda. I’ll get you some strawberry soda.”
“Nobody want ya punk-ass bike,cuz”
(from Baby Boy)
What no Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Classic.
“I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food
trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster
and your father smelt of elderberries!”
Maybe it’s that I mostly watch action movies…maybe it’s that with the flicks I’ve seen after age 18, I’m usually one and done…maybe it’s that most of my everyday quotables came from rap songs…or maybe it’s the “try not to curse” factor. But I didn’t have much for this one today.
“THIS IS SPARTA!!!”
I use that when I have just done or am about to do some unbelievable $hit
When Nettie tells Mister in the Color Purple -”I Gotta Go to School!” and “It’s Gon Rain On Yo Head” …Color Purple.
He Got Game- “Jesus, I have read all about…those high school sweethearts who get left behind. I have seen that movie many a time”
and finally
Dude Wheres My Car-”Needs More Lubercation!”
The whole movie “The Wiz” can be used in everyday life! Ughhh I LOVE that movie… well the soundtrack at least (You can’t win, Brand New Day)
P.S.- I will be forever indebted to this blog for the mention of Dillon Texas. lol I have an unhealthy obsession with that show!
Carry on…
How High.
Girl: Uh-uh! What is that?
Ivory: It’s the mark of Buddha baby.
Girl: The mark of what? It looks like someone took. a. dump. on. your. faaace!
I don’t know what has been written (the list is too long) but here I go…
“Break it down so it can forever and constantly be broken”
love jones
“Frankie gonna blow up the bank (ugh) Frankie gonna rob the bank” Set it off
“My pinky toe you dirty mutha”; & “Jr! JR!. D@mn, junior deader than a Muth***a”
Ray: “so how was your date”
Quick: “i killed her”
Ray: “Oh, you tore the P*** up didn’t ya”
Harlem Nights
“I’m a Ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost”
How High
” Nobody makes me bleed my own blood”
Dodgeball: story of an underdog
and a bunch from Wedding crashers, 40 yr old virgin, Anchor man…
I want to post something but at this point no body will read it.
<<>>>
@Sheletha, I thought the same thing but did it anyway
OK im all late on this..but here goes.. I love that line in that Dave Chappelle movie Half Baked when the dude goes:
F*** you! F*** you! F***you! Your Cool! F*** you! and im OUT!!!!
Id love to say this to my co-workers when I make some serious cash and dont have to work anymore!!!!
My name is Inigo Montoya…you killed my Father…prepare to die.
“That’s no ordinary rabbit! That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!”
Just recently seen that movie and I couldnt stop laughing when dude stomped his foot and said “sexual chocolate’
I know this comment is hella late, BUT…
I have to throw some Sgt. Lincoln Osiris from Tropic Thunder in there….
“Y’all might be in for a treat….back before the war, I was a saucier back in San Antone…why I bet I could collard up some of these greens, hah….get some Craaaawfish out the patty…crabapple cobler, HELL YEAH!”
“WHAT THE F**K? DID YOU JUST SAY LANCE? So when you wrote “I Love Tha Pussy” were you thinking of dangling the dice on a man’s head? Everybody’s a little gay sometimes!”