Very Smart Brothas » drake

Why Kanye Matters so Gotdamn Much

The Champ — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:02:50 +0000

Panama: so i know a lot of women who absolutely love kanye west and i can honestly say i dont get it. like i cant tell if they want to be with him? or if his swag is attractive to them or what…

kanye being an attractive human being is an oddity to me

Champ: i think they like what he produces and what he’s capable of producing more than anything else

the art more than the artist

i mean, i guess that explains why guys like paul mccartney and lyle lovett have had their pick of beautiful women

the idea of kanye matters more than he does

well, not more, but just as much

women love big ideas and potential more than they love us, lol

and kanye is a big f*cking idea

Panama: that is true

Champ: but yeah, you’re right. he’s a sex symbol who women don’t seem to want to have sex with

its weird. i’ve never believed any of the “kanye’s gay” rumors, but i have a hard time believing he was sleeping with amber rose, or anyone for that matter

Panama: good point

Champ: but, he’s also admitted to a porn addiction, and i’ve heard from a few sources that he’s not particularly shy about whipping it out in public, lol

Panama: apparently a lot of guys aren’t

i’ve had chicks tell me numerous times of dudes i know who they’ve been with on some one-on-one hang shit and dude will just pull his shit out

Champ: i knew a guy in college who’d hand women business cards with a pic of him holding his wang

i always wondered who took those pictures for him

Panama: lol

Midway through our latest podcast, I made a completely extemporaneous remark about Kanye West being one of the most important black people in the world; a statement so extemporaneous and unexpected you can hear the shock in my own voice when I said it. This surprise was largely based on the fact that I didn’t believe a single word of what I had just said.

But, because the verbal edit button–a device allowing you to delete reckless things you’ve said before anyone actually hears it–hasn’t been invented yet, I went full speed ahead, citing Kanye’s pandemic effect on our culture as proof of my statement’s truth. Surprisingly, the more I spoke, the more I realized this theory wasn’t that far fetched. Culture–the way we behave, how we interact, and what we believe–f*cking matters. And, regardless of how superficial you consider their particular contributions to be, our living and breathing cultural determinants–our Jay-Zs’, our Kardashians, our Beyonces–f*cking matter too.

Kanye, his brand of unabashed and simultaneously insecure self-confidence, and the art this volatile mixture created, has done more to spearhead this current era of hip-hop androgyny we live in than any other entity. Ironically, this makes him a bit of a throwback. His visceral emoting and occasional bouts of hyper-heterosexual aggression hearken back to the 80′s, when lascivious and sexually ambiguous performers such as Prince, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Boy George ruled the airwaves. I’m not suggesting Kanye is in fact bi or homosexual, but his particular type of emotiveness is unlike any we’ve seen in hip-hop, and by osmosis he’s helped to pave the way to mainstream acceptance and embrace for (among other things) Drake, skinny jeans, Lady Gaga, Rhianna, blazers, Nicky Minaj, eyeglasses, B.O.B., blogging (yes. blogging), Lil Wayne, frohawks, and Twitter.

Despite all of this, I’ve always wondered what exactly it is about Kanye that allows him to wield such a cultural influence. How the hell does this tiny guy from the Chi have so much power? While his persona is (somewhat) original in a hip-hop context, the characteristics contributing to this persona are completely unoriginal. His critically lauded sample-heavy and soulful production is somewhat of a copy of music the RZA was making in 1995. While he’s definitely improving as a rapper, he’ll never be confused for a “natural” like a Nas or even a Scarface. And, by the time “The College Dropout” was released, the emotive eccentricity and eclecticism he’s known for had already been “done” (and, arguably, done better) by Andre 3000. He’s basically an HD compatible betamax.

The insane buzz over his two relatively underwhelming new singles (“Power” and “Hear Me Now”. Although, I have to admit I love “Hear Me Now” and the “Power” remix) have helped me figure it out: It’s not Kanye himself as much as it’s the idea of Kanye–and what we think he’s capable of–that matters so gotdamn much. This explains why each of his albums (even the sucky ones I eventually allowed to grow on me) are cultural landmarks even among those who love hip-hop but hate him and/or his music. This helps me understand how we’ve allowed a man who has made entire albums based around the idea that college is a sham and publicly admitted to not reading books (ha!) to be the de facto musical spokesperson for the young and college educated African-American. This even explains why (many) women are completely infatuated by him despite the fact that they probably wouldn’t sleep with him if given the chance.

With Kanye, it’s not so much about who he is or what he’s accomplished as much as it’s who we want him to be and what he just might do. While he has definitely produced, the power we’ve given him lies in the fact that his otherworldly range of personality makes him potential personified, and this makes him completely unstable and completely impervious to prediction—exactly like culture. He’s a living and breathing cultural cipher for our Id’s and expectations (whatever they might be), and he matters so gotdamn much because we need him to.

—The Champ

***By the way, If you haven’t done so yet, check out “The Black Blog Tea Party“, The Champ’s latest piece at Clutch Magazine***

The VSB Files–Episode 005: Montana Fishburne, Kanye West, & Intimidating Women

Very Smart Brothas — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:16:55 +0000

What’s up everybody!

We’ve decided to bless you with another episode of the VSB Files. Join Panama Jackson, The Champ and Liz as we talk a little bit about what’s on our minds. Some thangs we cover in this episode:

Jersey Shore & Guido Game
Cartoon Game
Montana Fishburne & Spotty Butt Problems
Is Kanye West the most important black person of ALL TIME?
Women and the men who are intimidated by them: fact or fiction?
Our Black Weblog Award Nominations: VOTE VOTE VOTE!! You have until Aug 31st to get your votes in!
Why P is gay
SXSW ’11 – Hater Blocking 101: Help send Panama & Liz to Austin so we can impart our wisdom on Haters. PLEASE VOTE VOTE VOTE (short and sweet sign up here). You have until Aug 27th!
VSB BBQ: Some plans and brainstorming

Download: (right click > save as)

10 dating and relationship tips from drake

The Champ — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:01:40 +0000

: drake wants the ladies to be careful. sparkle and r.kelly

the champ met with recording artist drake for brunch yesterday to discuss the budding megastar’s new album and upcoming tour. over mango and pheasant omelets and mimosas, the toronto native also talked about the obama effect, jamaal magloire, and how gay it was going to read when champ included the part about them eating mango and pheasant omelets together in this piece.

as they left brunch and walked to a nearby apple retailer to stand in line for the iphone4, drake brought up that he was a longtime fan of verysmartbrothas.com (“ya’ll dudes got soul for real. candy rain“), and offered a few dating and relationship tips for the vsb readers.

***before continuing, please be advised that drake has a bit of a, for lack of a better term, “unique” way of phrasing his points where he follows each sentence with an unrelated word that further articulates the main point of the last five or so words of the previous sentence . if this is too confusing to understand, that’s okay, because you shouldn’t be taking relationship advise from 24 year old canadians anyway***

1. “unless he puts a ring on it first, never let a dude beat it in the whip. chris brown”

2. “trust me, ladies: if you please your man in bed, he’ll stay locked down. kwame kilpatrick”.

3. “a man should always pay for at least the first three dates. if he doesn’t do this, cut him off and don’t look back. beltway drivers”

4. “meeting people and dating is hard work. but, once you get past that, relationships themselves should be super easy. delta chicks”

5. “a little first date nervousness is cool, but make sure to relax. have a drink if you need to. you don’t want to be all sweaty and smelly. pau gasol”

6. “be a man with a plan. nobody wants to be with a dude who can’t make up his mind. tyler perry”

7. “ladies, accentuate your assets. if you’re funny, tell jokes. if you’re cute but not that bright, smile and wear short skirts. sarah palin”

8. “ladies say they want the truth, but really they just want to hear what makes them feel good. honesty is cool sometimes, but for the best results just tell them want they want to hear. black churches”

9. “if he asks you how many people you’ve slept with, leave without a word or lie about the number. tony hayward”

10. “the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.”

as they parted ways after leaving the apple store, drake offered one last piece of advice.

“always remember: hold on to your dream, but don’t let your dream hold on to you. christina milian.”

—the champ

Random Musings The Day After My Bornday

Panama Jackson — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 04:03:35 +0000

After a week of hateration, holleration, and the eternal search for danceries, I’m wiped out. With that said, it’s Friday, I ain’t got no job (EXTEND UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS) and I ain’t got sh*t to do.

By the way, I’m totally lying about being unemployed. Sorry Ms. Jackson.

Anyway, because my brain isn’t working right now in a coherent fashion, I figured that I’d break down my mental and discuss a few things that have been on my mind for at least the last 15 minutes.

- I’d like to thank everybody who wished me birthday wishes yesterday. That was beautiful. If you knew what kind of month I was having, you’d know that my birthday wasn’t exactly something I was looking forward to celebrating. Hell, even the day started out rocky for me. If the way I brought in this year was any indication of how the year is going to go, well, I could be in a very f*cked up mood for a very long time. But all the well-wishes from people I don’t even know really made me feel better. And welcome to all those commenters who dropped their first comment on a birthday well-wish to lil ole VSB P the 3. If I knew you, I’d buy you all shots.

Lucky for me I don’t know most of y’all. But DC, we’re gonna get together real soon. Like real soon. But straight up, from the heart, I really appreciate all of the shoutouts.

-Drake’s debut album, Thank Me Later, leaked the other day. After all the leaks, I was pretty much done on this album. But after listening to it as a whole product, I get it. Drake made an album, not just a bunch of hot singles. If you’re looking for “Forever” or “Money To Blow” you will be disappointed. This whole album sounds like “Successful” meets “Unthinkable”. And it makes cohesive and perfect sense to me. Is it a classic album? Not at all, though it depends on your defiinition. People will be talking about this album for years. So he’s right, we all just might thank him later. Which we’ll have to do since most of us will be cursing his ass out for making us shell out our hard earned money to buy an album that sounds like one big ass tuba note from a guy that looks like a smiling Eeyore. Oh and by the way, listening to this album in my car made it sound THAT much doper. “Unforgettable”, “Show Me A Good Time”, “Light Up”, “Miss Me” are all tracks to look out for. Or you could just listen to successful on repeat 14 times and save yourself the trouble. Thank me later.

-I saw the movie Just Wright the other day. Good movie, but gotdamn was it predictable. We come down on Tyler Perry for his predictablility and inabilty to employ subtlety into his movies. This movie had NO subtlety whatsoever, but I enjoyed it just the same. You should go spend your money on this movie. Common did a good job doing nothing more than being a lightskint rapper from Chicago who just so happened to be playing a 5’6″ All-Star ball player who somehow is the best player in the league. But ya know, it’s always good to see the underdog get their man. Queen Latifah is definitely the underdog. She’s the kind of leading lady I’d never really want to sleep with. Anyway, Just Wright was a Tyler Perry movie with out Madea, bad writing, ridiculous plot twists (if they are even remotely possible at all), Kimberly Elise as a sexxy woman, or Tyler Perry as a straight man involved. But…it was enjoyable. Like yo mama.

-Lakers in 5.

- This is hands down my favorite commercial of at least the last 10 minutes. While I’d never buy a Kia, I do appreciate the hardwork these hamsters are putting into the game.

I know at least two people who remind me of hamsters anyway. I call them Shellack and Doowop Underroo. But Bob when we’re at work.

- Shoutouts to the homey The Champ who was at the Modern Day Matchmaker Event Live joint in New York City last night and is probably partying as this posts. He’s holding down the VSB brand. Hopefully the NYC contingent got to kick it with him. If not, you can just hop on Diddy’s Last Train to Paris.

-I’m still sexxy. And I always will be. So to that chick who wrote me that email calling me a self-centered d-bag who couldn’t bag a woman if I used Boris Kodjoe’s face….stop being mad that I CENSORED your mother. Thank you and good night.

Those are my random thoughts on a Friday, what you got?

And remember, sharing is caring people.

And yes Virgina, I had a drink.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Great Expectations, Pt. II: The Weight Is Almost Over

Panama Jackson — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 04:00:54 +0000

A long time ago, I wrote about Drake and the lofty expectations that had been placed upon him by nearly everybody who listened to hip-hop because of his “single”. He managed to become one of the few rappers that women loved (even if erroneously) because of “Best I Ever Had” and his mixtape jacking artists like Lykke Li and and men respected by putting those songs softer songs along side songs with Bun B and Lil Wayne – “Uptown” is as dope a joint as you’re gonna get these days – to insanely successful results. Drake leapfrogged everybody as the next big thing and didn’t really disappoint. He became a standout on every song he was featured on, so much so that Lil Wayned quipped on “Money To Blow” that Cash Money/Young Money would be “alright if we put Drake on every hook”.

And now the wait is almost over. His album is scheduled for a June 15 release.

Yay.

And I couldn’t care less at this point. Sure I love the joint “Over” but I swear it would be better as a Lil Wayne song. It even SOUNDS like a Lil Wayne song with Drake rapping on it. The beat is insane as evidenced by damn near every rapper du jour jacking the beat for their own projects. If anything, Boi-1da is going to get A LOT of work because of that joint and working with Drake. (He’s reportedly doing beats for Eminem, Drake, Big Boi, etc.) But since “Over” dropped, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve heard it on the radio. And he’s had other alleged songs from the album hit the net like “Miss Me” and it’s aptly titled because he can pretty much miss me with that one. I heard a song with The-Dream that sounded underwhelming as all hell too. Granted, it’s only three songs but I’m already disappointed.

Re-read that last sentence. I’ll wait.

*rock smoke break*

Three songs and I’m feeling like Drake won’t live up to his hype. Which is unfortunate because you know when folks are doing well, the haters come out in full force. People have been waiting for Drake to fail since he got going. I actually hope he doesn’t and that the first three songs aren’t fully indicative of the possible mess of an album he has on his hands. So Far Gone worked as a mixtape because it was just that. He didn’t have anything to lose so you do what you feel. Albums are a different ball game. That’s your official stamp. That’s what folks are going to pay for. Great expectations are sometimes, but rarely met.

Then we have this other guy, B.o.B. aka Bobby Ray.

Have you heard of him?

I’d bet a majority of you haven’t. Yet he’s getting all the same features as Drake – Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, Bun B, etc – and making the best out of those connects. His first single, “Nothing on You” featuring Bruno Mars went platinum on iTunes and is a HUGE hit on pop radio and urban formats. About four of his songs have leaked and they all sound dope and different from what I’d expect…

…because I didn’t have any expectations. So I’m happy. I wasn’t anticipating B.o.B.’s album and so I’m good with what he’s putting out, because it’s good. Yet Drake is putting out music that might be the best song on other artist’s albums and I’m not feeling them. Better than the rest isn’t necessarily good; it’s just better.

If anything, it says a lot about where Drake is in the game at this point. The only other people having these problems are 50 Cent, Eminem, and Dr. Dre. And possibly Andre 3000. Lil Wayne seems like he doesn’t give a flying f*ck one way or the other.

While Drake will always manage to be lightskint and will curry favor for that reason alone with some people, I truly wonder if he’ll live up to the hype. He is probably the only artist save Eminem and Lil Wayne with an album that EVERYBODY, haters and lovers alike, will be checking for. I’m now more excited for B.o.B.’s The Adventures of Bobby Ray (April 27th) than Drake’s Thank Me Later (June 15), and it probably isn’t even fair. But B.o.B. is delivering.

So my question is this: can Drake even live up to the hype or does he have to deliver the 2010 version of Thriller? Or Confessions? Or Get Rich or Die Trying?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

how helena andrews (and every other successful and lonely young black woman) can improve her luck

The Champ — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 05:01:40 +0000

i’ve never met helena andrews, and i most likely never will.

but, after reading “successful, black, and lonely” and watching the corresponding video, i can say that i’ve known, dated, slept with, talked to, discussed, consoled, admonished, sympathized with, and theorized about her my entire adult life.

i also know that her washington post profile will probably spawn a nation-wide discussion about the perpetually single successful black female of the saks fifth serengeti, and that ms andrews and her upcoming memoir (“bitch is the new black”) will be dissected, debated, and dichotomized more times than drake’s appeal.

admittedly, i don’t know exactly why ms. andrews herself is single. her lonely lot could be due to anything from bad choices, bad luck, and bad timing to haughtiness, hopelessness, and halitosis. but, i’ve known enough of her doppelgangers to have a pretty good idea of a few things she might be able to do (or stop doing) to improve her fortune:

1. change

i know suggesting that someone change themselves to better their romantic circumstances isn’t the most politically correct thing to say, but i can’t continue to ignore the pink and green elephant with the “she’s (the helena doppelgangers) probably just not attractive enough to the men she’s most attracted to” sticker on his ass that always seems to show up when having this discussion. mind you, this isn’t suggesting that she’s (or any other helena doppelganger) unattractive or undesirable, just maybe not attractive or desirable enough to the type of guys she fancies.

having stringent standards is fine. you can’t tell another person what they should or shouldn’t be attracted to. but if the sticker on the elephant’s ass is true, you’re left with two options

a) wait and hope that one of those men will lower his standards and take a flyer on you

b) find out what kind of women those men are most attracted to and do your best to mimic them (basically do everything lil kim has done since 1996)

2. realize that our grass isn’t that much greener

a latent underlying theme in the successful but single young black woman discussion is that black men with similar “qualifications” have a much, much easier time navigating the dating and relationship game. since the ratio (and nature) is in our favor, we can apparently pick, choose, and discard indiscriminately while black women are passive subjects to our random whims.

while the numbers definitely do favor us, the only ones able to truly take advantage of this imbalance are those in the top 5 to 10% (who’d get what they wanted regardless of the ratio) or those trying to run through and rack up as many different women as possible. for the rest of us, the process of finding an available, attractive, and compatible mate can be just as baffling, confusing, frustrating, disheartening, and even occasionally depressing.

basically, this sh*t is hard as hell for all of us.

mind you, i’m not bringing this up to have a “your woes aren’t as bad as mine” battle with black women. but, knowing that your issue isn’t quite as unique as you think it is does wonders when trying to keep a positive outlook and limit the blame-gaming.

3. date out

to all the sistas who are deeply ambivalent about stepping out and trying “something old”, its really not that serious. if you’re lucky you’ll be on earth for approximately 80 years, and I’d hate for you to spend a good portion of that time sacrificing your own happiness for some romanticized technicolor racial loyalty.

do. you.

and don’t worry, you can bring him to the barbecue too. we’ll even make him a plate.

4. pay close attention to her

to expound: everybody has at least a couple women in their sphere of influence who are either happily married or seemingly never without multiple desirable suitors. sometimes these women aren’t nearly as attractive on paper as others in their group, but they somehow stay somewhat unaffected by the dating and mating issues plaguing their peers.

instead of clowning them for “losing their identity” and always choosing d*cks over chicks, pay attention to what they’re doing and how the hell they’re consistently able to produce “better” results i mean, if you wanted to be a millionaire you’d probably try to emulate other millionaires, right? how is this any different?

5. remember that you’re not entitled to sh*t

this is an especially hard concept to grasp (for women and men) because we’ve all been schooled that life is by and large an incentive laden meritocracy. if you work hard for four years, you’re (rightly) entitled to degree. if you do your job excessively well, you’re (rightly) entitled to a raise and (maybe) a promotion.

romance, on the other hand, doesn’t work that way. we’re all entitled to and deserving of a modicum of fairness and respect, but no one is entitled to be in a great relationship. its not supposed to happen. if it does? fine. if not, oh well. sh*t happens, and you’re probably not going to be getting any romantic entitlement refund checks in the mail

i know this sounds a bit discouraging, but realizing that you’re not entitled to romantic happiness has a funny way of fighting off the type of faulty (and self-defeating) mindset that could led to you saying something like this…

“He could be my winter boo. I need a boo. My life sucks. When your life sucks, a winter boo with his own apartment would be awesome to have”

…and wondering why you’re having dating difficulty.

6. move

it always amuses me when women move to ultra-competitive, ultra-cutthroat, ultra superficial, and ultra cold-hearted cities and then are shocked when the dating game there is just as ultra-competitive, ultra-cutthroat, ultra-superficial, and ultra cold-hearted. not everyone is built to live in atlanta or new york or l.a. or d.c., and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that to yourself.

the sports guy bill simmons put it best:

“It’s crazy to me how many women have trouble finding a decent boyfriend, yet they’ll stay in the same city for 10 years. If you were fishing in one section of a river every day, and you never caught anything, would you keep returning to the exact same spot, or would you try your luck somewhere else?”

7. learn the difference between wanting to be in a relationship and being in love with the idea of being in a relationship

when talking to helena doppelgangers about their relationship difficulties, you usually get the sense that they want the perks of a serious coupling (a warm bed, a ring, a date to the company christmas party, an answer to the “why aren’t you dating?” question they’re asked every time their mom calls) but aren’t willing to make the sacrifices needed to get there. so, even if they happen to meet their prince idris, they wouldn’t be ready for it at all.

plus, relationship minded men (and women) have a tendency to be attracted and drawn to who’s actually down instead of who’s just looking for a suitable mate so they can finally cross it off of their to-do lists

usually this is where i’d end the entry with some snarky summary or concluding series of questions, but i have to say that reading and writing about helena andrews has produced a bit more ambivalence than i anticipated, and i’m not sure exactly how to wrap this up.

maybe my ambivalence is just me reaching the point of “why successful black women are single” discussion fatigue. maybe she reminds me of too many of my friends to just be cool with offering the type of unaffected didactic advice/criticism/snark i’m used to, or maybe the fact that i didn’t even acknowledge the possibly of a 10,000 pound “she’s single because we (black men) need to step our games up” elephant standing in the room says more than this 1,300 word entry.

who knows?

i do know that if “bitch is the new black“, “bitching about bitchy black women” is definitely the new crack, and i think its time for us to find a way to kick this addiction.

—the champ

hay season: the people, places, and things that make me itch

The Champ — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:01:28 +0000

along with unusual virility, and a head shaped like the working end of a cruise missile, my parents passed an acute sensitivity to idiocy on to me. as i’ve grown older, these sensitivities have become so concentrated and pronounced that i can now honestly say that i’m seriously allergic to bullsh*t.

this affliction is extremely troublesome, as it causes me to start itching uncontrollably whenever i’m in the presence of or a witness to it. in fact, just last week i almost scratched my entire left forearm off when trying to listen to “ghetto techno” all the way through

anyway, because writing about bullsh*t can be very therapeutic and cathartic for me, i’ve decided to name a few more people, places, and things that have been making me itch.

black men who sound like white men trying to sound black (aka “the stu scott” or “the kappa”)

yo, champ. this blog is slammin'. word up.

the phrase “grown and sexy”

a term which is now just a three word euphemism for “drug dealers who launder their money through rim shops and the social services chicks and teachers who want to sleep with them”

grown women rocking pocket-less jeans

has officially replaced clear heels as the standard universal, “she’s probably a ho. nttawwt” uniform

soft chicken wings

there’s nothing more itch-inducing than ordering a dozen cajun chicken wings, but getting a dozen pieces of slippery meat with skin that looks like it came from the bedridden pedophile in seven.

coffee shops that don’t offer free wi-fi

every time i enter one i’m tempted to call up the manager and ask “they still make you?” like i’m chris rock

the “i can make your p*ssy whistle” line in drake’s, “best i ever had”

while i admittedly don’t mind drake as much as my vsb partner does, since when is a whistling p*ssy what’s torrid on the thoroughfare?

seriously, am i missing something here? what woman wants a stepin fetchit-ass p*ssy, and what guy would brag about giving a woman something that sounds like the premise from an episode of “tales of the crypt”?

the fact that i have great mobile internet service everywhere except my own f*cking apartment

i don’t know whats more itch worthy, the fact that i live in the only 900 square foot part of “the most connected community in pittsburgh” without good service, or the fact that i live in a 900 square foot apartment

not being able to grow a beard like black thought

***simultaneously filed under “some bullsh*t” and “things champ has said that are at least 84 percent gay”***

that’s enough therapy for me. people of vsb.com, what bullsh*t is making you itch right now?

—the champ

Great Expectations: Analysis & Debate on Drake's "Best I Ever Had" Video

Panama Jackson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:00:44 +0000

The most difficult position to be in for any artist is for everybody to be paying attention to what you’re doing. In the hip-hop/R&B/Black music community, right now, Drake is that dude.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do not understand dude’s buzz. He’s a good rapper/singer combo guard, but I’m just not wowed. However, I have to come to homey’s defense right now since it seems like everybody and their mama is upset at young Drizzy for his video for “Best I Ever Had”.

(Video is most not-safe-for-work-safe-for-work video ever.)

I love this video, despite itself.

Huh?

Glad you asked.

In this Kanye West directed video there is basically no point. In fact, the video doesn’t seem to have much in the way of a story or concept (though Drake did his BEST to give a bogus concept explanation to Complex magazine). It seems the video’s main purpose was to show boobs-a-floppin’.

Glory day.

As soon as I saw the video I knew the sh*tstorm was coming. Let’s run down the “problems” with the video, shall we?

- all the chicks are lightskint

- all the chick’s boobs are on display, pretty much throughout the video

- lots of gratuitous stretching, Rosa Acosta style shots

- no real point to the video, period

– lots of chexual innuendo (“take the D”)

- like most Kanye West videos, the video doesn’t relate to the song whatsoever

That’s a lot of fodder for discussion, but none of that is a good reason for it to be catching flack – hell it’s the general outline for most of today’s videos. The reason he’s catching flack is this: it’s the video for “Best I Ever Had”, the song that makes most women love the Young Angel. With this one song, women everywhere who pretty much don’t care for most of today’s rap found the one man who acknowledged the ladies and put them on a pedestal even if in other songs he referencing women as ho*s.

That, and that alone is his biggest problem. Women have expectations for Drake. A while back I posited 10 reasons why women love Drake, and though I didn’t mention it, this song is largely the reason. Women decided that Drake was the respectful savior to today’s generally exploitation heavy hip-hop while forgetting one simple fact.

Drake is still a man.

(I actually think the video is semi-genius; make the music for the ladies but make the videos for the men. Great Gatsby!)

Once the video aired, many women were up in arms (I’ve stayed reading message boards about this because the response befuddles me, from women AND men). How could Drake make such an “ignorantly, exploitative video”? How come there are so many boobs? How come all the boob-ers are light skinned?

Aside: I’ve often wondered if Black women would feel better if the exploitation was more diverse? A lot of the arguments about videos is that all the women are light, ethnically ambiguous to white looking women. If they were all darkskint, would that be better? Is exploitation more palatable as long as everybody gets their shot to be exploited? Methinks not. Then again, I didn’t think Jodeci would end up on crack.

From an artistic standpoint, the video adds absolutely nothing to the song. In fact, the video just comes across as some sh*t they basically decided to do on a random Wednesday, and because they could, they called everybody they knew and just started rolling film with a bunch of litebrite models. No harm, no foul really. And if it was anybody but Drake, this video would probably be written off as just another video that does nothing more than exist. Kind of like a Plies video.

But this is Drake, hip-hop’s wunderkid. He’s making music women can enjoy and appreciate without feeling like they’re betraying the gender. He’s not supposed to be like every other rapper out there. He’s wheelchair Jimmy for goodness’ sake.

Great expectations.

Poor guy, really. First he gives a sh*tty performance on the national stage on BET, now he’s giving the boob treatment to his “respectful” chick song.

Oh well. Score one more for mankind. I personally don’t see the big deal. Rather, I wonder what people were expecting? Aside from this one song, most of his other songs fit right in with the “regular rapper mold”. Plus he runs with Lil Wayne and Kanye – proprietor of the “Throw Some D’s” remix aimed at D-cups, not Daytons.

Perhaps, I’m being shortsighted.

download code name the cleaner online What say you?

Is the video backlash warranted?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

Smiley Face: 10 reasons why women love Drake

Panama Jackson — Wed, 27 May 2009 04:00:28 +0000

And you know what they say: B*tches love the smiley face.

(If you’re unfamiliar with that particular line from Boondocks and think that Panama is just haphazardly calling women b*tches, well, go kill yourself. Thanks. – VSB Management)

When Drake tells us on “Best I Ever Had” that his buzz is so big he could probably sell a blank disc, well, he’s not lying. I’ve constantly stated that I don’t understand dude’s buzz – and I don’t – but I can’t deny that it exists. Dude’s got more buzz than Lil Kim at a wet bar.

With two Bullets.

Now, I’ll admit that Drake has talent. He’s a more than able wordsmith with clever-enough punchlines. But is that enough to really build a buzz this huge? Not really, especially when you consider how many WOMEN are loving this cat. Not to be to much of jackarse (and much props to the women on VSB who are hip-hop heads), but women don’t usually break most hip-hop artists. At least they don’t create their buzz, anyway. Women may well be indicative of how well they’ll do in the marketplace, but Drake doesn’t even have a tangible product out yet. All of his material is on the net. Even his much lauded mixtape, “So Far Gone” (download link) is a web-only product. Slap me silly and call me Susan, but I don’t think there’s a huge amount of women on Datpiff.com.

I could be wrong.

And he’s from Canada. Home of the floppy heads and beady little eyes.

And yet, b*tches people love Drake.

So this got me to thinking, what exactly is it about Drake that has the internets AND the women going nuts?

10 Reasons Why B*tches Women (and other people) Love The Smiley Face Drake

1. He’s lightskint. Let’s be real, women have been waiting since Al B. Sure Ginuwine for another musically talented lightbrite to come onto the scene and Drake fits the description. And this one doesn’t look like he’ll beat the brakes off of anybody. Women tend to only want darkskint men to beat them. Light dudes are great for hair tips.

2. He makes nice music for women. Even his ignoranter songs (i.e. “Every Girl”) are really deferential to women in a respectful way. His mixtape mostly sounds like R&B with sing-rapping (i.e. Lykke Li covers, etc), tailor-made for women. Sure he’s acting all cocky and talking about taking women home, but he also seems like he’ll take you home…to cook for you. What a nice chap.

3. He’s a singin’ a** rapper. The difference between him and Kanye is that Drake can actually hold a note, on his own, without Autotune, and women love guys that can serenade them, even if he’s singing, “you’re the f*cking best, you’re the f*cking best…” I’ve always thought that singing curse words was hot. Apparently women think so too.

So basically, 2+3 =

4. He sing-raps about women, a lot. Like on almost every song. The key to getting women interested in your music is to constantly make songs about women. Drake does this a lot. Quit the cocky little f*ck, actually, though even when he’s talking about h*es on “Successful” it sounds more like he means “big hug” than, ya know, h*es.

5. Though cocky, he comes off as a complete herb when he’s not on the mic. Because of this, women think he’s sincere and genuine and will probably sleep with him and will wear t-shirts that say “Drake’s Boo” on them, before he even has an album out. Motherf*cking amazing.

6. He’s romantically linked with all kinds of hot women. The more women you’re allegedly schlumping, the more women you can schlump. That’s like the 8th law of physics or something. Word to that Nig Newton. Thus far, he’s got Rihanna AND Bria Myles. Match: Drake.

7. He speaks really damn well. Got to give him props here. The boy speaks like he reads books – for leisure. Most rappers sound like idiots savants. Women love a man who can talk that smart sh*t.

8. He can actually rap. As much as I don’t care for him, dude can put together some words. Though in all honestly, he sounds like Kanye without as much personality. Strange, most women don’t like Kanye that much unless they’re not cute or bald.

9. He’s humble. Ah yes, he doesn’t come off like he’s better than everybody else and avoids drama at nearly all costs. Then again, I’d hate to get into a fight around him. He looks like he’d run away and get shot and end up in a wheelchair. Oh, wait, that’s his TV character.

10. He also calls himself Young Angel. Every body has to have a Young pseudonym. Women like Young Angel because it sounds corny enough to be some sh*t a woman would give him. Trust me, grown men don’t refer to themselves as Young Angel unless they’re Mexican and from LA. But women love cornball sh*t like that so it works.

That, in a nutshell, is Drake.

And because of it, he’s so far gone.

Tell me people, why do you think b*tches women people love Drake??

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3