Sneilta.
I used to hate Sade. And forgive the fact that I don’t know where in Sam Hill the accented “e” is. Just pretend its there.
So once again, I used to hate Sade. Something about her voice used to drive me batsh*t. And when I say hate, I mean I wanted to stab squirrels when I heard her voice. In fact, I remember being surprised when I first heard “King of Sorrow” and found myself not convulsing.
Since women that read seem to like Sade, it was a difficult time for me. Mostly because if I thought your taste in music sucked, well, you had to go.
I produce music these days - mostly of the hip-hop variety but lately I’ve been delving into progressive rock and jazz fusion type stuff. I’m a big fan of sampling and do it a lot myself.
What this means is that I’ve started listening to music much differently than I used to. Not only that, but I started listening to all kinds of crap. If you come into my humble abode on the right day, you just may catch yourself listening to the Yonder Mountain String Band. And no, I’m not joking.
Let’s just say, I’ve learned to appreciate things I couldn’t appreciate before. And one of those things is Sade. Let me tell you, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Sade is a hip-hop producer’s dream. She has so much good music I don’t even know where to start. Heck, if I were to ever come across Sade in real life, I’d apologize to her for not fully appreciating her music in the first place.
I’ve evolved. Imagine that.
So what does this have to do with the price of rims in Compton? Nothing really. But what it does relate to is the fact that in our personal desires and relationships, we should all grow a little, gain a little perspective, if you will.
For instance, videos made me think that the best possible scenario was to get a woman with the body dimensions of Esther Baxter or Buffie the Body. However, perspective (and experience) teaches me that “fat ti^^ies turn to tear drops and fat a$$ turns to flab…”
All women go through their bad boy, thugged out, FauxPac phase, but a woman with perspective might realize that it’s not in her best interest to date a man who isn’t afraid of jail. In fact, if he’s not afraid of jail, you may just have TWO problems on your hand. Shucks, somebody might be calling him gorgeous on the side, and he might be happy about it, if you catch my drift.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Hell, at one point in my life I thought that every man should experiment with 8 women, an unassembled bookcase from IKEA, and three lightbulbs.
Come to find out, quantity really isn’t better.
On second thought, maybe I saw that in some pr0n.
The gist here is that perspective is a helluva drug. Pr0n stars may look hot, but in truth, they’re probably sizzling in more than one way and that’s just not a good look. It’s the kind of thing that makes you realize that the girl next door is really all you’ve needed, even though she may drive you half crazy, or make you feel like you’re on a merry go ‘round. That’s okay though because Wu-Tang is for the kids.
And so is Panama. Now, I don’t judge people by their music…solely. I’m a music snob but I’ve learned I to get along just fine with people who think Soulja Boy adds something to the canon of musical history.
So.
Being that most of us are pretty grown here, what perspective do you have now that you didn’t have when you were younger that helps you make better decisions? Hell, do you make better decisions than you did before? And this isn’t like what would you tell your younger self…nope…this is yourself that went through life without all that knowledge.
And Sade might be great, but she ain’t no Phyllis Hyman.
Word.Life.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
p.s. anybody watching the new 90210? Opinions? It seems way more kiddie than the first one to me…I’m entertained but I feel like an old a** man watching a kids show. mayhaps i AM an old a** man watching a kids show.
597 comments
“Since women that read seem to like Sade, it was a difficult time for me. Mostly because if I thought your taste in music sucked, well, you had to go.”
thats funny…thats a common thread among the smart men i know. my one buddy told me that its more about what you like than what you ARE like.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 9:49 am}
i actually think that the things you like are a good indicator of what you are like.
if you like cute cuddly panda bears, you may be a nice warm person. if you prefer tarantulas and khujo…well you just may be a jackass.
not definitively. just maybe.
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Deviant {September 10th, 2008 at 9:56 am}
Khujo was the dude from Goodie Mob. He was cool.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 10:07 am}
Wasn’t he the one that lost his leg or something?
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Deviant {September 10th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
yeah in a car accident. I hadnt heard anything about it since tho. Sad tho cause I liked Goodie Mob. Now CeeLo has gotten all weird on us. The only other cat Ive seen doin anything is Gipp.
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AkShone {September 10th, 2008 at 10:49 am}
A reunion album is in the works… hopefully, it won’t sound like World Party. Honestly, when I heard that cd it felt like a best friend’s betrayal. D@mn.
*Now listening to Soul Food…*
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 11:32 am}
World Party was disappointing, especially after Soul Food and Still Standing.
PrettyBrownGirl {September 10th, 2008 at 11:33 am}
VSB has THE most epic tangents.
Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:05 pm}
“VSB has THE most epic tangents.”
this is very true. but aren’t they entertaining though?
shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 3:26 pm}
Still Standing was the best
SADE IS THAT SHYT.. your love is king? Phyllis was good but dayum I mean you really didnt see that shyt coming? Nobody was on watch for her?
On to the topic at hand.. as an adult I have a healthy respect for peace of mind. Yes fiery make up to break up, break your windows and back breaking s.e.x has its time and place but that rollercoaster is for the young. I really enjoy day to day life minus the drama. I use to feel like I had to always be in the mix, in the now up on all the hot new ish…etc etc.. now I am like f!ck that new ish. I also realized that I am a smart mutherfugger and I dont have to prove it. I can listen to what I want, watch what I want and be as hood as I want and not have to worry about how I come across because guess what? Everything I do is what a smart mutherfugger would do….wanna get your lesson and get smart in school..get away from the in crowd….gettta close to god….
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 12:36 am}
Yeah, she was screaming for help…. Remember they used to say Sade’s music was suicide music too, but I really really didn’t see it, oh but that dang-on “King of Sorrow” makes me burst into tears….
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 8:56 am}
It definitely has its time and place, you’re not busting out the Sade to get the party started…lol
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 9:50 am}
you know, i’ve always felt that Radiohead was Suicide music. Everytime I listen to Kid A, great album that it is, I just start questioning life.
But man, Phyllis just had that voice…she’s one of two people (with the other being Donny Hathaway) whose voice ever made me shed a tear.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 9:55 am}
Sad, because they were both in such immense pain that resulted in their suicides.
You can definitely feel it in their music.
So sad.
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Deviant {September 10th, 2008 at 9:58 am}
Pain and suffering makes great art. Why is that? I’ll bet the dude that got beat with a hammer on the Philly subway can sing his a$$ off now…or at least recite a good poem.
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AkShone {September 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am}
“Pain and suffering makes great art. Why is that?”
Because everyone relates to it…sort of like Mary J. Blige’s “My Life” cd…which to me she could never top.
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WestIndianArchie {September 10th, 2008 at 11:47 am}
.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 6:49 pm}
“dude that got beat with a hammer on the Philly subway”
i find that story so damned disturbing…
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The Champ {September 10th, 2008 at 9:59 am}
“you know, i’ve always felt that Radiohead was Suicide music.”
yeah, i agree. “creep” might be the most underrated suicide song ever
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am}
I loved Radiohead back in HS. That beat/music was amazing, his voice was chilling, perfect depression jam.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 10:04 am}
But man, Phyllis just had that voice…she’s one of two people (with the other being Donny Hathaway) whose voice ever made me shed a tear.
I just posted something similar..its an amazing ability to channel that much emotion into something..its also got to be draining to always put so much of yourself into something you are putting out in the world knowing it will be criticized
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 10th, 2008 at 11:02 am}
Phyllis, Donnie, and add to that Sam Cooke. If they are in constant rotation on the ipod, you know I’m in a melancholy mood.
I’ve always loved Sade, “Love is Stronger than Pride” and “Kiss of Life” are my favs
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 11:29 am}
ooh…Donny Hathaway makes me cry (inside) everytime. in college i used to turn on the blue light and pull out the boones farm everytime i played one of his albums. and if my roommate heard me playing it she’d say “what’s wrong?!” (ok, so i made the boones farm part up, but you catch my drift)
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 3:45 pm}
..I swear we are twins….ditto ! daaaammmn
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Get Togetha {September 11th, 2008 at 3:10 pm}
Phyllis’s “Don’t Tell Me Tell Her” is a timeless classic.
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I always thought that Sade was talented, but I can only listen to her music when I’m in a certain mood so I don’t listen to it much…..
I make much better decisions when it comes to relationships. I know what to look for in a guy and don’t waste my time like I did when I was younger. I was definitely attracted to the bad boys in my younger days. I used to break up with the nice ones left and right because they bored me. Now, it’s switched. I’m really attracted to smart men, I find them very sexy. I like men with confidence and know how to carry themselves. It’s funny looking back on the guys who broke my heart when I was younger. I would never give them the time of day now.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 12:23 am}
i think im some kind of freak of nature cuz i was never a girl that was into bad boys at all…i always loved smart guys
maybe my bad boy phase is still yet to come?
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 12:31 am}
You may be one of the fortunate phase skipping unicorns….
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 12:33 am}
I dont know but I have always been torn between thugs and intellectuals…but when you find one that has both..a thugellectual if you will…you will never be the same.. I mean you can discuss books, world affairs, politics etc and this ninja got your back when it pops off? I meane he can wear a suit well and rock some gerbauds with the right amount of sag and some timbs? F!ck wit ya girl ..hmmm I think I am about to wake my husband up……
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Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 12:34 am}
Get it IN, Shayd!
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 12:38 am}
maybe this can be a non-BAC sitchyashun!
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:11 am}
maybe this can be a non-BAC sitchyashun! I am working on becoming more regular…especially since the added benefit is that regular head = happy ninja doing all the shyt around the house that I have been asking him to do for years…LMAO
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:31 am}
win/win!
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:37 am}
“regular head = happy ninja doing all the shyt around the house that I have been asking him to do for years”
It is my belief that if we as women stayed on our knees and perpetually gave head,we’d rule the world. Men would be powerless…would do all our bidding, good and bad.
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Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 1:40 am}
“It is my belief that if we as women stayed on our knees and perpetually gave head,we’d rule the world.”
Perpetually giving head?? We’d be some lockjaw-having and ashy-kneed rulers! Ruling with one word on a dry erase board and a knee bandaid at a time.
V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:46 am}
Um…sweetie…if you practice often enough you can do it for long lengths of time with no jaw tightening.
And put a pillow on a floor.
puff {September 10th, 2008 at 1:47 am}
men didn’t get to rule the world eating the vajayjay all the d*mn time, so i’m not sure if this would work….
plus i hate giving without getting.
and i co-sign with luvvie, ashy ass knees and a white encrusted mouth are not the biz.
Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 1:49 am}
Ummm DAMNAT!! There is such a thing as giving TOO much head. Practice won’t keep ur jaw from creaking. Whatcha gon do? Greeze it up??
Sorry. on this one, I’ll sit it out. Staying on my knees to “rule the world” ain’t power cuz I’m working HELLA hard. lol
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:51 am}
ummmm I am not quite to the point where I am ready to co sign on perpetual head giving….ruling the world or not..I mean would you really be ruling the world or is that some type of sick conundrum…..
V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:52 am}
“ashy ass knees and a white encrusted mouth’
y’all ain’t doin it right.
V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:53 am}
You ladies have killed the movement before it even got off the ground.
We can always go back to hoping men will change…
Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 1:54 am}
The movement will NOT be FELLATIZED!! We need to go to the drawing board and come up with a better solution.
shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:55 am}
“We can always go back to hoping men will change…”
yes because that has worked out so well to date…
puff {September 10th, 2008 at 1:57 am}
i actually had a discussion on another blog about how women should pull a modern day Lysistrata to even out the playing ground with men
V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:59 am}
Can I get a t-shirt?
The movement WILL be FELLATIZED!!
miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:17 am}
y’all just don’t want me to get no sleep. i’m dead over here. and who said you gotta be on your knees to give head…i’m just saying.
Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 2:19 am}
Being on the knees keep the neck from hurting b/c having to hold urself up while in a horizontal tangle will lead to a neck crook. They need props to make it all more convenient. Like a neck holder thingimajiggy or a knee proctector. Well… I guess knee pads will be ok.
puff {September 10th, 2008 at 2:21 am}
@ miss patterson - co-sign! i like sitting on an armchair with a drink on a side table to keep my throat from getting dry…
shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:30 am}
im definitely a fan of sitting while he stands….i AM doin all the work, the least i deserve is to be comfortable!
although when the knees buckle i might have to dive out the way
miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 3:26 am}
“Like a neck holder thingimajiggy or a knee protector. ”
@Luvvie, ya know you should pitch this idea to Doc Johnson…lol. can i get a piece of the profit? cuz i got student loans out the a$$! [LOOK MA! NO HANDS!]
or you could always just lay on your back, a little pron-esque, but it works. [ok, i'm going to close my computer now, this whole thread is just wrong]
shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 3:29 am}
i love miss patti takin the moral high ground like she didnt contribute! lmao
Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 3:30 am}
“you could always just lay on your back, a little pron-esque, but it works”
Oh nooo!! What if he gets too excited and thrusts it in my throat? Death by d*ck asphyxiation is NOT a good look!
puff {September 10th, 2008 at 3:37 am}
d*ckphyxiation…. and with that i’ll have to call it a night. y’all have worn me out.
V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 4:00 am}
“What if he gets too excited and thrusts it in my throat? Death by d*ck asphyxiation is NOT a good look!”
Luvvie: you have to go for it with gusto. Deep throat is popular for a reason. lol.
You ain’t a kitten and it ain’t a bowl of milk: you ain’t supposed to lap at it.
sit, stand, kneel, lie…find a position you are comfortable in and tear it up.
The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 8:19 am}
““What if he gets too excited and thrusts it in my throat? Death by d*ck asphyxiation is NOT a good look!””
LOL
pen!s power can kill you!!!! but pu##y power will set you free.
The Champ {September 10th, 2008 at 10:01 am}
“Ummm DAMNAT!! There is such a thing as giving TOO much head”
i guess you wanna stay in the corner forever, huh?
genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:31 am}
Veggie teaches:
“It is my belief that if we as women stayed on our knees and perpetually gave head,we’d rule the world. Men would be powerless…would do all our bidding, good and bad.”
veggie u conspire to uslurp mens power. this is dastardly manipulative, premeditative, maniacal with malicious intent.
many powerful men throughout history have fallen prey.
watching u….
Intellectual Hedonist {September 10th, 2008 at 10:40 am}
ok really! u vampires are taking all the fun out of responding. The movement died before it got off the ground.
I agree with the saintly miss p~you aint got to be on your knees all the damn time. There are ways around the ashy knee look and I agree that too much brain or brain on demand is not a good thing u got to keep him wanting more without keeping him wanting. Its a fine balance
suga {September 10th, 2008 at 1:50 am}
Yeah, I’ve never been into bad boys other…minus the lil relationship I was in when the ex was shot 9 times…and survived. Other than that one incident, I’ve always been with squares.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:56 am}
i find computery types so friggin adorable! i always say, im just lookin for a good natured dork…lol
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 2:02 am}
Yeah. I like the sexy dorky boy. My first and only thug boyfriend was my H.S. prom date. Gave that dude 5 yrs of my life. 4.5 years too many. II faked transcripts so he could follow me to college. He flunked out the first semester.
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Erika {September 10th, 2008 at 6:54 am}
Touche! I used to hate the nerdy boys in high school. I now have an appreciation for men with big brains versus big muscles.
Also, “Is It A Crime” and “Never As Good As The First Time” are my faves. I keep The Best of Sade in my car for those crazy hellish workdays when I need to de-stress on the commute home.
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puff {September 10th, 2008 at 2:04 am}
your ex wasn’t called curtis jackson, was he?
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suga {September 10th, 2008 at 4:42 am}
He was Curtis Jackson, before Curtis Jackson was Curtis Jackson.
In other words, he’s who inspired 50 Cent. Or at least thats what he likes to think.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:53 am}
LOL many men.. wish death pon me…..
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eff yo couch {September 10th, 2008 at 8:56 am}
Sounds like you used to date 50 Cent
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 8:57 am}
I think it’s good you didn’t have a bad boy phase…lol
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 6:53 pm}
i feel like ive missed out on valuable living! i also lament never having had a drug phase either….i may save that til im real old. i dont think theres a better time to get hopped up on goofballs!
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MsSula {September 10th, 2008 at 3:15 pm}
I have never been the “bad boy” type either… I think I’m plenty bad my damn self is why.
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I also am learning way better money management skills. The first of which is that money management is not refusing to check your mailbox and voicemail because you are behind on bills and spending the bill money on a brand new outfit and shoes for the club..as far as men go I have also learned that it is way better for me to calm down when I am upset and step away from it and then come back to it. This tends to prevent name calling, throwing shyt and the words “ya mama” from being uttered. I also understand truly what unselfishness is and how important it is to a relationship and sacrifice and compromise should not always be the responsibility of one party. I also understand now that a relationship is as much about what you will not ask the other person to do as it is about how much you are willing to do. Meaning I should never ask you to compromise your morals and beliefs for my sake and vice versa…
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genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:22 am}
Shayd has an epiphany:
“I also understand now that a relationship is as much about what you will not ask the other person to do as it is about how much you are willing to do.”
…that’s what it is. experience teaches this best. selfish motivations run rampant in relationships and at the beginning of the night we wouldn’t be there if not for selfish reasons. gotta figga where to draw ur lines and to be considerate.
good 1.
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back on topic though….i never liked sade when i was younger…but as i grew up i started to really really like her voice. i find it soothing.
um…perspectives? i dunno…i cant think of anything that i once valued that i no longer value (or vice versa), i’ll have to think on that one for a bit…
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There are too many women naming their children something that equals “The position has already been filled”
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:08 am}
There are too many women naming their children something that equals “The position has already been filled”
I know I shouldnt but…..what r u talking about?
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 1:28 am}
…the children blessed with names like Jennifer, Joyce, and James will get jobs faster than equally qualified children blessed with names like Ja’cquanetisha. It isn’t fair, but then, neither is paying taxes, depending on whom you ask.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:49 am}
…the children blessed with names like Jennifer, Joyce, and James will get jobs faster than equally qualified children blessed with names like Ja’cquanetisha. It isn’t fair, but then, neither is paying taxes, depending on whom you ask.
I figured this, I guess I was aksing how this pertained to the topic.. and for the record I have one of those names, and a huge afro and I am one of the youngest members of management in my company, I also have been promoted 8 times in the last 6 years so sometimes its not just the name…its the attached resume thats falling short… I’m just saying.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:59 am}
i feel you…i think my name counts as such and in a few months they gon hafta call me doctah!
however, knowing some recruiters and HR folk has really opened my eyes…i mean, once youre in you have to earn your keep. but the reality is, the name is at the top of the resume. and most times, if the name is “too ethnic” they dont look past it…credentials be damned
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 2:26 am}
that’s all i’m saying. and on the flip side, my name and my phone voice always results in the double-take -and-stutter when i finally show up in the office…i always look them dead in the eye and say “yes, i know. i sound so much taller on the phone”. the responses have been priceless.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:32 am}
hahahah! nice! yeah, folks have definintely been confused after talking to me on the phone and seeing the big black chick with the fro show up….lol
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:29 am}
however, knowing some recruiters and HR folk has really opened my eyes…
This is true I know a lot of HR folks that instead of using the position to give people a fair shake they use all kinds of bull ish reasons not to hire them.. but honestly being a person that interviews and hires I have had way more people looked over for using Microsoft word resume wizard than because they had an ethnic sounding name. In fact I have never actually heard or witnessed this but someone looked over because they used a sentence involving “via the use of” yes….
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:33 am}
um….i love my microsoft word resume wizard!! my resume is the hotness! betta ask somebody!
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 3:00 am}
my resume is the hotness! betta ask somebody!
LMAO maybe you should ask somebody? I mean our HR director straight clowned the microsoft word resume wizard joints.. called them juvenile and described them as a “my first” resume format. Fine for entry level jobs but anything else..at first I thought he was just being crazy but alot of people use criteria like this.. so again it could be the name or it could be that the resume submitted didnt do anything to combat the stereotype associated with the name. I believe the name thing was true in the past just like in the past natural hair was unacceptable but in the new millenium they using some new ish to seperate the masses.
shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 3:05 am}
lol…luckily i have asked somebody (several sombodies!) and the consensus is that it looks nice and is functional and gets the job done.
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 9:43 am}
lol…luckily i have asked somebody (several sombodies!) and the consensus is that it looks nice and is functional and gets the job done.
Okay…. I am sure your joint is the bomb, sugar pie honey bunch, after all they will soon be calling you Doctor..mr(s) MD……!!!!!
puff {September 10th, 2008 at 2:33 am}
oh dear. with my african a$$ first and last names, i should probably just catch the next boat home, start selling water on the roadside or something…
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:34 am}
you know, the clearly foreign names have a better shot than the overtly “ghetto” type names. they will assume youre smart if youre African….for a time i used my first initial and my African middle name and it always sparked conversation…
Leila {September 10th, 2008 at 9:43 am}
It depends on the company and location too. In a big city, it would be different than a small city. Bigger cities are more used to diversity. I was living in China last year and a lot of them use Western names like Jennifer and Vickie to make them more accepted with western culture.
The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 11:19 am}
“I was living in China last year and a lot of them use Western names like Jennifer and Vickie to make them more accepted with western culture.”
This bothers me all around. Why can’t we take the time to get errybody’s name right. “Whats in a name????”Thats the sweetest sound to someone’s ears, their own name.
The Champ {September 10th, 2008 at 10:06 am}
“…the children blessed with names like Jennifer, Joyce, and James”
i’m sorry but i aint hiring noone named “joyce”.
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 10:56 am}
It is kinda like the image that the name Shirley gives you….
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:08 pm}
when I hear Shirley, I think of two people:
1) big shirley from martin
2) shirley massey, the former first lady of morehouse college…she was loved by all morehouse men (and i mean that in innocent terms,btw)
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 11:38 am}
uh, please explain, Champ?
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Yeah in this world of crappy music, subpar voices and mediocre performers, I appreciate a voice like Sade’s. Listening to her is like listening to a cool ocean breeze while sipping lemonade and watching packing men in boxer briefs.
Long story short: It’s a relaxing experience.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 12:39 am}
i couldnt have put it better myself! le sigh…
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:22 am}
you ain’t lying about those packing boxer briefs. damn…can we just have a moment of silence followed by a slow clap for the brothas out there who wear boxer briefs (and fill out the back rather nicely)? i believe they were made for the brothas.
(…..) ok, back to the topic…
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:36 am}
oh, i love a man with a cute booty in them boxer briefs! they hug the junk ever so nicely…
i need to take my rump to bed! lol
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puff {September 10th, 2008 at 2:45 am}
mmmm…. yes indeed. they might be a lil metro but when the booty is tight, it’s all alright.
now when ol boy starts wearing skinny jeans over the boxer briefs, there might be some problems…
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:51 am}
you ain’t lying about those packing boxer briefs. damn…can we just have a moment of silence followed by a slow clap for the brothas out there who wear boxer briefs
Girl..you said something right here….
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 8:58 am}
I 2nd that.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 9:56 am}
wow….hella descriptive. clearly for the women, but hella descriptive.
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Dorian G. {September 10th, 2008 at 9:58 am}
Damn so you got my pic huh
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Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 12:24 pm}
No I didnt, Dorian. Ur “mo’ people” didn’t make it to my inbox.
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Ahh Phyllis Hyman, I heart you Panama… but anyhoo, I have learned to stop putting people in boxes, for example not dating someone because they didn’t fit this predetermined checklist (type) I had as far as appearance, occupation, etc….. I have learned now that a nice person is a nice person and apparently judging from the choices I made in the past that I need to not have a type, bc the sh*t I was doing before aint working one little bit… I may have missed out on some winners…
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 12:42 am}
have learned now that a nice person is a nice person and apparently judging from the choices I made in the past that I need to not have a type, bc the sh*t I was doing before aint working one little bit… I may have missed out on some winners…
I gotta co sign… If i would have stuck to my dating “rules” I would have missed out on my husband most women can define their dream man physically and materially but fail to define character, personality and how this man will treat them. Come off them “types” and just look for a real man that takes care of business, shows personal responsibilty and knows how to treat a woman.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 9:00 am}
“I have learned to stop putting people in boxes, for example not dating someone because they didn’t fit this predetermined checklist”
This is good.
One of my close guy friends finally got married last year after he got rid of his ridiculously long checklist.
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Leila {September 10th, 2008 at 9:47 am}
I concur! I met a guy last year who was completely opposite of my type and I wouldn’t give him a chance at first, but it turned out that we had a lot in common and really hit off. He seemed like the party-type kind of thuggish type but he turned out to be a really smart guy, has the most positive outlook on life, very spiritual, runs a mentoring program for young boys, and really liked me for myself. It changed how I looked at men and learned to be less judgemental.
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I think Sade and Phyliss can’t really be compared really. They both were/are really contemplative great vocalists. But Phyliss just sang with more pain. Most of her songs to me were about unrequited tragic love. And I think thats how her real life played out too, she sounded always defeated to me even when I was kid listening to her. “Old Friend” live has her ballin on stage.
Sade has some sad songs also but they seemed alot more hopeful. Even “Maureen” about a friend who dies, seems inspired and upbeat. Less like I wanna kill myself.
vocally they sound TOTALLY different.
ill answer the other question later on in the morning
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PBG {September 10th, 2008 at 7:39 am}
I agree 100% w/The Comeback Girl’s assessment here. I remember being a young teen discovering Phyllis Hyman’s music and it scared me and I didn’t understand why. But Sade felt good, even in her sadness. “Maureen” was my jam.
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The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 7:54 am}
“I remember being a young teen discovering Phyllis Hyman’s music and it scared me ”
VEG writes you can only listen to Hyman in 30 minute intervals. I agree. Its still great music. After P’s post I went to youtube to listen to “Living all alone” and I had to give myself a dam#n pep talk right after. Her music is muy affecting.
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PBG {September 10th, 2008 at 7:58 am}
I know my limits, and there is no way in hellz I could listen to Ms. Hyman for even 5 minutes at this point in life. I’m volatile n’ shyt.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 9:02 am}
“Living All Alone” is my favorite song by her, and yes…it’s maaad depressing.
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am}
I could be crazy happy and if I hear “Living All Alone” I tear up.
Listening to it now. lol.Got a lunch meeting…hope I can pull it together before then.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 9:37 am}
Phyllis reminds me of Donny Hathaway..they both have so much pain in their music.
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The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 9:53 am}
Donny H is a saint to me. I’d like to believe that he didn’t jump…maybe he fell asleep on the ledge. or worse yet, maybe somebody frightened him.
i refuse to believe he committed suicide.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 9:58 am}
you and me both…quite honestly, i get pissy sometimes when i think of him committing suicide. i take it personal for some reason….
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 10:21 am}
I think a lot of people refuse to believe it.
The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 10:22 am}
i also hate when people spell his name wrong like GK did below. But Imma let it slide, cause he already wrong on the Michael Franks tip.
genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
Comeback and P; …and we haven’t heard a voice near like Donnie’s since.
ahhh to be young black and gifted.
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8th Wonder {September 10th, 2008 at 10:53 am}
That song gives me chills.
That and “Someday we’ll all be free.”
Where’s my ipod….
Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:01 am}
you know, when i wrote that down, i figured somebody would say this. and it is apples and oranges in terms of their vocal stylings i agree.
for me, and i suppose i should have said this, as a personal taste, sade just aint on phyllis hyman levels.
i’m the kind of person who appreciates a little pain in their voice…painful voices or just beautiful voices - david ruffin, sam cooke, marvin, teddy p, donny, phyllis, amel larrieux (don’t sleep), pre-rehab mary (mary on coke was the bestest)…
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am}
pre-rehab mary (mary on coke was the bestest)…
I have this conversation with my friends all the time…the pain was in her voice.. she is not a traditional vocalist and when she was cracked out she was enduring so much bull shyt that you could tell her music was all she had left.. same with Natalie Cole…never the same after they became shiny happy people.. not saying that they should go back to using crack….just saying.. hell nevermind…
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8th Wonder {September 10th, 2008 at 10:55 am}
I have to agree, though. Shiny Mary blows me.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 6:59 pm}
i agree with what someone else said…mary is never gonna be able to top My Life. that is her best record to date…
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genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:09 am}
amel larrieux is beautiful and has an excellent voice, i mean phonomenal. i got a theory for her azz to groove to.
bet it up…
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 10:15 am}
amel larrieux is beautiful and has an excellent voice, i mean phonomenal. i got a theory for her azz to groove to.
-yes she just has a beautiful voice.. point blank period
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The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
” pre-rehab mary (mary on coke was the bestest)…”
LOL..
I like pain too. But I like my pain triumphant. He left you, he prolly aint coming back and if he does come back… it won’t be for long. Hyman sings “old friend is so nice to feel you hold me again, and it doesn’t matter where you have been.”
YES IT DOES PHYLISS it totally matters where his @zz has been. I knew this when I was 7.
dust your @zz off and get on with the business of being happy and shyt.
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 11:01 am}
“YES IT DOES PHYLISS it totally matters where his @zz has been. I knew this when I was 7.”
Girl…this cracked me up. You were quite the astute 7 yr old.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 10:20 am}
“marvin”
He will always be my guy!!!! He was singing with raw emotion. No matter, what the song was.
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 10:46 am}
“david ruffin, sam cooke, marvin, teddy p, donny, phyllis, amel larrieux (don’t sleep), pre-rehab mary (mary on coke was the bestest)…”
Everyone you listed is on my all time fav list, save for Mary.
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okay, i thought of something!
ive come to the realization that i need to truly embrace selfishness…i havent fully done so yet, but im working on it. by that i mean, i generally will put other people’s feelings ahead of mine a good amount of the time. but those days are soon coming to an end. and this is in the realm of relationships and dating and such….its a hard habit to break though. really hard.
things like, worrying more about whether or not he liked me than about whether or not i liked him. or going along with stuff that i KNOW aint gonna end well so that i dont hurt feelings. things of that nature. but im trying to embrace the “im gonna get mine” attitude a little more…cuz if i dont get mine, aint nobody gettin it for me!
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 1:30 am}
oh, co-sign on that, sista…who else is going to look out for you if you don’t do it first?
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:27 am}
yes, ditto on the selfish tip. i too have learned in the past few years to ‘do me’ (sounds like a self-help book affirmation) instead of being johnny on the spot for every undeserving ninja who cracked a smile.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:31 am}
instead of being johnny on the spot for every undeserving ninja who cracked a smile.
are you willing to be Johnny on the spot for a deserving ninja?
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:39 am}
i am…part of being a deserving ninja is reciprocity, so i dont think i have a problem with that…unless theres some angle im not seeing. i know shayD loves a trick question!
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:48 am}
i know shayD loves a trick question!
Why you say that? LOL no I was just wondering. You cant settle for being treated as less than or forcefully having your needs become second place but once you have found that guy you have to be willing to be unselfish and put someone else thoughts and feelings before yours. A lot of us are either to selfish or to unselfish and never quite recognize that 50-50 most often refers to this dynamic when talking about relationships..IMHO
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:37 am}
yeah, im starting to take my own advice…cuz i spend all day telling people that they need to take care of themselves and make sure their needs are met otherwise they will be useless to the folks that they are trying so hard to be there for….
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 3:13 am}
“are you willing to be Johnny on the spot for a deserving ninja?”
yes, i am willing. i think shatani put it best: it’s about reciprocity. i have no problem making myself available (emotionally, physically, mentally) to a person who is willing to make themselves available to me in the same way. plus, i’m a giver by nature, so this is not an area that i’ve ever been able to completely shut off. however, i will continue to be more judicious about it until the right person comes along.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:05 am}
i actually think more people need to concern themselves with their own affairs more.
sad but truism - people rarely do things that aren’t in their own self-interest.
I have a whole spiel on this, but i’ll save it for another time.
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 11:43 am}
new post from Panama! do share soon, please.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:10 pm}
i’ll have me people call my people and make that happen.
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devessel {September 10th, 2008 at 2:18 pm}
(e-smooches and faerie dust from the Hill)
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 7:01 pm}
i cant wait to hear your spiel…i spend my days giving that spiel to people, and rarely do i take my own advice! and thats just another example of me doing it again!
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First off, I have always loved Sade: PJ I’m glad you finally got on the bandwagon. Phyllis, though, speaks to me. Though her ish does make you wanna jump out the window and should only be listened to in 30-40 minute intervals, it is gutta and real and raw.
Now…lessons learned:
I have learned to say no to a proposal. Just cuz a dude bought a ring and got on one knee does not make you obligated to say ‘yes’. You save him and yourself lots of embarrassment by saying ‘no’ upfront.
I’ve learned that if you ain’t clicking spiritually, mentally AND physically then you ain’t really clicking and to call it a day.
I’ve learned to not drag out relationships for two,three years just cuz he’s good on paper.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 12:56 am}
i can see now that i need to work on learning your last two lessons!
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 12:58 am}
Don’t waste yo good years.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:26 am}
ive developed a really bad habit of settling. REALLY bad…but i came to the realization that i need to actually stick to my standards cuz all this being disappointed by someone that shouldnta had me in the first place is gettin played out.
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:29 am}
You are way too young to be settlin (if you define settlin as someone who has no goals, no hobbies, no real personality, kicks puppies). Hell, even my maw maw ain’t settlin for the ol’ dude who works part time at Winn Dixie and doubles her bags without her asking for it. (at least he has a job).
This life is too short to be layin up with somebody you wished was dead.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:35 am}
lol…i did have a dude tell me that he likes to torture cats and couldnt see why that was a problem for me. *blank stare*
but yeah, in the past ive been so caught up in “he likes me!” that i forgot to check if i liked him…then when i did check i realized the answer was: meh, not really. but still he liked me, and no one else is liking me…maybe this is the best its gonna get for me.
at this point, id rather just be alone to be honest….sometimes i think i should just start collecting my cats and preparing for lonely spinsterhood
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:39 am}
As long as you limit the cat collection to two you are are safe from the ‘crazy cat lady’ list.
R.I.P. Ali and Jack.
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 3:02 am}
This life is too short to be layin up with somebody you wished was dead.
Dayum
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 8:47 am}
Truer words have never been spoken, should not be bending over backwards (literally and figuratively) for a ninja that everyday you say things such as “that mf ain’t sh*t” or that you wish “would go play in traffic”, it is counterintuitive. word.
genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:04 am}
V dot u ever thought about who owns and why that store was named WIN(N) DIXIE when it was started.
hmmmmm. lemmeknow if u ever find out.
happy hog maw shopping.
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooooooo!
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:36 am}
“..AND physically”
girl, this is so important I agree along with the other two attributes (of course). for so long i thought it was noble of me to overlook unequally yoked libidos in a relationship or that it was shallow of me to want that physical connection. now?…uh no. it ain’t noble and it ain’t shallow.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:07 am}
this 30-40 minute interval is strange to me…
hell, i’ve had “be careful (how you treat my love)” on repeat for 8 hours before…i LOVE that song…and her voice is like a gift from a tea party with a unicorn, big foot, the abominable snowman, and michael jackson’s childhood.
and i’m with you on not dragging out relationships…that is the WORST thing to do ever…
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am}
“this 30-40 minute interval is strange to me…”
Phyllis be calling me to the light…only in short intervals, otherwise…
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MsSula {September 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm}
Those three lessons are the major ones I have learned as well.
And also that, no chemistry means there is no chemistry. It won’t get better (Cf. dragging a relationship for longer than necessary because he’s good on paper)
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I also think that I’ve learned that my pride is gonna be what ruins me.
And to just listen. Just cuz I don’t feel like talkin doesn’t mean I shouldn’t let him talk when he wants to.
And I’ve learned that if a man spends 2 hrs discussing his feelings with you you should take them seriously.
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Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 12:55 am}
*Jesus is Light & Love Tabernacle Baptist Episcopalian Church of God in Christ*
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 8:49 am}
*Jesus is Light & Love Tabernacle Baptist Episcopalian Church of God in Christ*, Inc., Ultd.
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:06 am}
And to just listen. Just cuz I don’t feel like talkin doesn’t mean I shouldn’t let him talk when he wants to.
And I’ve learned that if a man spends 2 hrs discussing his feelings with you you should take them seriously.
Girl let me be a witness!!
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:09 am}
If I’d have known then what I know now…
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:09 am}
“And I’ve learned that if a man spends 2 hrs discussing his feelings with you you should take them seriously.”
as much as women complain about men not opening up and telling you how we feel, you’d think more women would have realized this by now…
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 11:02 am}
“as much as women complain about men not opening up and telling you how we feel, you’d think more women would have realized this by now…”
I’m an emotional retard; took me 32 years to learn that lesson.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 7:03 pm}
yeah, we can be slow at times…
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I know this is going to sound like a crock of sh1t, but I have always had a really great perspective on things. Maybe it’s because I had to grow up pretty quickly and experienced a lot of things at a young age.
Well, I can think of one way my perspective has changed and it’s in regards to myself. I woke up one day and decided to stop being embarrassed. Now it hasn’t held up 100%, I’d say more like 88%. It DID, however, change my life and allowed me to just live without being bogged down by too many expectations, limitations and judgments from others. That’s what self-actualized adults do… they do THEM instead of listening to what everyone else has to say. Letting go of embarrassment was a very big step. Before, I spent a lot of time second-guessing myself, using the next (wo)man’s yardstick to measure myself. Wack.
90210, the new jawn, is lame as hell. This is coming from someone who once wore pajamas with Dylan and Brandon on the front (no lie). the show is no longer HOT and FRESH, what with Gossip Girl, The O.C., and The Hills around.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:01 am}
so, how does one go about letting go of embarrassment?
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Renee Raddick, Esq. {September 11th, 2008 at 12:13 am}
Just decide.
SOmething happens and think, “why do I even care what so and so thinks about it?” “who am I trying to impress here?” “do any of these people matter to my life/career/happiness?” “if I am going to be made to feel some kind of way, is this really a situation/are these people I want to be in/around?”
Just decide. It’s liberating. Think: “I don’t give a fluck.”
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:09 am}
Well, I can think of one way my perspective has changed and it’s in regards to myself. I woke up one day and decided to stop being embarrassed. Now it hasn’t held up 100%, I’d say more like 88%. It DID, however, change my life and allowed me to just live without being bogged down by too many expectations, limitations and judgments from others. That’s what self-actualized adults do… they do THEM instead of listening to what everyone else has to say. Letting go of embarrassment was a very big step. Before, I spent a lot of time second-guessing myself, using the next (wo)man’s yardstick to measure myself. Wack.
Co sign.. however I had to let go of embarrasment at a very early age….I was dayum near blind for years before anyone recognized it.. so I spent my childhood falling off of stages, missing the t-ball/wiffle ball, getting hit in the face with various balls..tennis, kick, dodge (this might explain my aversion to giving head… its the balls son!)…LMAO by the time I got to jr high I had gotten in way to many fights due to people pointing me out saying shyt like “aint that the girl that bust her a$$ so and so or fell on her face at such and such”
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:16 am}
“(this might explain my aversion to giving head… its the balls son!)…LMAO”
my plastic surgeon says i cant be involved in activities where balls are flying at my face! - Amber from Clueless
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Naturally Alise {September 10th, 2008 at 8:51 am}
“There goes your social life” -Cher from Clueless
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 9:34 am}
Still one of my favorite movies, now that’s a classic!!!
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Leila {September 10th, 2008 at 9:49 am}
“this is coming from someone who once wore pajamas with Dylan and Brandon on the front”
LOL!
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genius khan {September 10th, 2008 at 9:59 am}
Radd u can be my shield bearer and i’ll dub thee esquire.
just f*cking witya. …but why esquire?
titles of nobility and honor huh?
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 7:10 pm}
*cough* lawyer *cough*
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Renee Raddick, Esq. {September 11th, 2008 at 12:14 am}
Like Shatani said…All I need to be dubbed “Esquire” is a J.D. thank you very much.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:11 am}
“I woke up one day and decided to stop being embarrassed. Now it hasn’t held up 100%, I’d say more like 88%. It DID, however, change my life and allowed me to just live without being bogged down by too many expectations, limitations and judgments from others. That’s what self-actualized adults do”
word.boogie.
many of mi compadres have often wondered how i manage to live my life the way i do without much regard for how other people interpret my actions. and its not that i don’t respect other folks opinions, its just that i’m generally not going to allow your insecurities and mistakes to determine my happiness.
i smile a lot.
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WuDaMan {September 10th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
like when they asked Malcom do you hate 2520 he was all no I just love my people so much.
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Aaahhh…Sade’. Since I can’t put the accent mark over it either, I’ll use the apostrophe as a fill in…good enuff.
I used to have a tape of Sade’, EnVogue, Karyn White, Chante’Moore, and pre-crack Whitney Houston that sung me to sleep via my headphones (I’m not sure if they even had the term ‘Walkman’ back then).
Anyway,in regards to the question, “what perspective do you have now that you didn’t have when you were younger that helps you make better decisions?”
I’d have to say that although it isn’t always favorable, I’ve learned a LOT from dealing with women older than me. We all know how the dynamic of “women are more mature than men”, (my agreement with this is pending) but being taught a little bit of game and insight from an older woman (who’s not related) has NEVER hurt a dude. NEVER.
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 1:07 am}
@ Monks mix tape…wow..I had that same tape..have the mp3s on my computer now…you just turned me on…
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Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:15 am}
Karen Whites I’d rather be alone than unhappy and Chante Moore’s “bitter” are to of my favorite joints of all time.. I mean I hate your dog, ni$$a.. that’s some real shyt right there….
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The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 10:06 am}
Karyn White’s “The Way You Love Me” is still a hot as he#ll song even almost 20 years later.
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miss t-lee {September 10th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
Yes ma’am. I still remember that video.
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The Comeback Girl {September 10th, 2008 at 11:02 am}
I think sade and karyn have a lot in common those heffas don’t age AT ALL.
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On 90210: I refuse to dishonor the legacies of Brenda loves Dylan and Kelly loves Dylan by watching the new show.
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Luvvie {September 10th, 2008 at 1:16 am}
“On 90210: I refuse to dishonor the legacies of Brenda loves Dylan and Kelly loves Dylan by watching the new show.”
I sooo agree!! I laugh in the face of the remake, and ignore it as best as I can. No one can replace Brian Austin Green (first white boy I had a crush on) and the Ian Ziering (a bit close to Albino but still slightly cute).
Besides, Shannon Whatsherface invented “teenage angst and b*tchiness*. I REFUSE, I say! *slams fist on table dramatically*
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:19 am}
I cannot believe you had a crush on David Green! And Steve was soo not cute. He was showing signs of male patterned baldness in the first season.
Now Dylan…he was hot. And Brandon. I so wanted a white boy with long side burns. I grew out of that quickly, though, once I saw a pink penis.
[Reply]
shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 9:02 am}
i havent grown out of it! lol…well, maybe the sideburns.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:40 am}
i had a crush on brian austin green too! and a little one on ian ziering….i wanted to play all up in his curls! lol
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puff {September 10th, 2008 at 1:24 am}
i tried watching last week’s and this week’s episodes (yeah, i know) and the ish was garbage. the new kids can’t act, and their angst (omg! she totally just copied my essay and read it out loud in class! that’s so unfair!) makes me want to smack someone. and it hurts seeing tristan wilds go from baby gangsta to playing token black of the hills via kansas.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
yeah, it’s a bit of difficult watching this new one. it is entertaining but it just seems hella kiddie. perhaps b/c i was young as hell when the first one came on does it seem so juvenile now and it seemed grown at the time…
…then again, the fact that all of their teenagers on the first incarnation were actually damn near 30 probably helped.
hell Kelly now has freakin’ wrinkles.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:39 am}
im with you on that one, v-dot! i was always a brenda fan and thought she got a bad wrap! or is it rap? well, whatever, she got a bad one…kelly was the real b*tch!
and my very first gynecologist was named Andrea Zuckerman! it was sooo weird! lol
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:44 am}
“my very first gynecologist was named Andrea Zuckerman!”
That would have amused and weirded me out at the same time.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:50 am}
i found it difficult to take her seriously at times….lmao
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miss patterson {September 10th, 2008 at 2:46 am}
i haven’t watched the show yet, but i gotta peek at it for a second…i mean Tristan Wilds is on there! and d@mnit if he ain’t fine! um…did anyone watch the Wire and not lick their lips a few times during seasons 4 and 5??? (though i gotta wonder if he got made fun of by his former cast mates for signing this 90210 contract) and before I get any lip, he is legal.
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Cheryl {September 10th, 2008 at 9:39 am}
Tristan Wilds … hawt danged. I wanna have his babies.
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The Champ {September 10th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
“i haven’t watched the show yet, but i gotta peek at it for a second…i mean Tristan Wilds is on there! and d@mnit if he ain’t fine! um…did anyone watch the Wire and not lick their lips a few times during seasons 4 and 5??? (though i gotta wonder if he got made fun of by his former cast mates for signing this 90210 contract) and before I get any lip, he is legal.”
“Tristan Wilds … hawt danged. I wanna have his babies.”
so, when did vsb.com become a cougar breeding zone?
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 11:04 am}
“so, when did vsb.com become a cougar breeding zone?”
Young hawt boys: God bless ‘em.
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Panama Jackson {September 10th, 2008 at 10:17 am}
(though i gotta wonder if he got made fun of by his former cast mates for signing this 90210 contract)
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, you think they DON’T want that contract?? hell, none of them except Naymond is really doing anything else and he ain’t doing much…
at least killa mike is in our living rooms.
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hmmmm,ok P–cool post..lets see…music…lets say is a huge part of the chemistry for me in a relationship…I listen to music more than I watch TV-I can go days in a row– no dumb box…just melodies…Sade, P..well she is most womens staple for those times when a drink just won’t do…
@what perspective do you have now that you didn’t have when you were younger that helps you make better decisions?
– trust that little voice…
–never answer “that question” when he asks you, just smile instead-make HIM wonder
–everyone is not honest about their feelings- - (I was/am emotionally honest to fast & expected the same- most of the time it was game )
–just cause you love him- doesn’t mean he’ll love you back BUT its ok…
–timing is EVERYTHING, pace yourself.
–a good lover does not equal got mate..
– mama and daddy are ALWAYS right about him..and him too- LISTEN
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:29 am}
whats “that question”? i dont wanna answer it mistakenly!
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 1:35 am}
..only YOU know that one sweets…but its the one, that may change his opinion of you..thus you loose ground…in the beginning you are in control…by answering that question you take away what or who you can become at the moment with that person…men esp..are simple..your answer can change everything..
I learned this the hard way…
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 1:42 am}
ah, i see….the one that comes charging to mind is “so how many men have you been with?” lmao! men know they like to ask that question and dont never like or trust the answer they get.
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 1:49 am}
..thats one question- but depending on how old you are - most mature me dont go there- after a certian age- they don’t care @ the number- thus- dont ask….but you feel me…
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V.E.G. {September 10th, 2008 at 1:54 am}
I think once you hit 30 men stop asking that question. lol.
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:02 am}
well thats good to know….i think its a dumb question. and they never believe you whatever you say anyway…whats the point?!?!
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 1:44 am}
only YOU know what is…the one, that may change his opinion of you..thus you loose ground…in the beginning you are in control…by answering that question you take away what or who you can become at the moment with that person…men esp..are simple..your answer can change everything..
I learned this the hard way…
I have learned to avoid men that ask these “questions” as there is never a right answer its always a set up and these men (IMHO) are always looking for a way to disconnect especially since most often these “questions” involve how many partners or is it true that you f*cked fill in the blank..in my experience
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 1:57 am}
true- true..or it could be they just want to know. no motive …I’d rather a brotha ask then assume- I am pretty open person- which in turn makes the other person feel comfortable to open up as well..BUT as I have grown - I’ve learned to taper that ish…in other words some folks can’t handle my whole mocha fudge coco delicious truth ( shout out to all my dark skin sistas) before the get the entire picture of me -the mirky ish can thro’ brotha-in which case I dont want him anyway…case point…hold yo’ mule…dont give to much..
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shatani {September 10th, 2008 at 2:05 am}
woop woop! dark skinted girl in the place!
and yes, i find myself a bit too much of an open book when it comes to information, but i still manage to be a mystery to people. people know about me, but dont necessarily know me…
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southernabelle {September 10th, 2008 at 2:19 am}
heeeyydark skinted girl …Iol
but ..on the cool- as women –we give up the ghost to fast ! not just the panties..but our emotions and our past- I mean - what has that brotha done on date 3 to earn a kiss and 3 of your most horrbile relationship blunders ? Dating is about collecting data…once it’s been submitted…A judgement is instantly made…likeIsaid…keep it gangsta …smile and sip yo’ drink
Shay-d-lady {September 10th, 2008 at 2:23 am}
what that brotha done on date 3 to earn a kiss and 3 of most horrbile relationship blunders ? A judgement is instantly made…likeIsaid…
keep it gangsta …save some for later
EXACTLY
Um TI Said it best..dont be a groupie keep it movin homie you dont know me!
and also you might not have so much trouble with the “