i’ve had a t-mobile sidekick for almost 6 years now. purchased during my pretentious piece of sh*t days, i reveled in the fact that i had the coolest toy on the block, a device that, from winter 02 to maybe the summer of 03, was actually a virtual panty-dropper
***editors note: the champ realizes that the aforementioned sentence says more about the moral quality (or lack thereof) of the beautiful fools he chose to bag back then than anything else, so you dont have to remind him. end of editors note***
along with the wow factor, i had justifiably practical reasons for owning a kick. i didn’t own a pc or a mac at the time, so all my web surfing, instant messaging, and blog updating came from my phone.
today, despite the fact that there’s at least 25 different phones that are more user-friendly, more aesthetically pleasing, and more practical than the sidekick, i haven’t changed phones. sure, they break once every six weeks, have the battery life span of a gnat, and occasionally allow shower mist to give em irreversible water damage, but because t-mobile has been so good to me, i’ve remained loyal.
this last paragraph could potentially be a perfectly snarky pro t-mobile advertisement…if not for the fact that it was complete and utter bullsh*t
i still have a sidekick because i was bullied by a middle aged indian woman into signing a completely inane lifetime two year contract last year, a perfect bookend to the original completely inane two year contract i signed in 2004. i still have a sidekick because i don’t want to kick up the 300 to break the contract, and even if i did, right now i honestly don’t want to go through the hassle of letting everyone in my address book know of my new phone number and email address. i still have a sidekick because i hate my other f*cking options, loyalty be dammed.
my unfortunate phone situation is actually a perfect analogy for a phenomenon ive been thinking about lately…eventually manifesting in the form of a question i posed on the hostess’s blog some time last week:
i’ve heard many black women profess loyalty as their reasons for sticking with black men and not entertaining the though of being with an “other”, but many times these same women also profess that they’re not physically/sexually attracted to the others and don’t feel as if the others are attracted to them.
so, if someone feels as if they don’t have any other realistic options or choices, can they really take the moral high ground and cite loyalty as their reason for “sticking it through”?
how can you measure the loyalty in someone who doesn’t feel as if they have any favorable choices? can a guy making 40 a year profess “brand loyalty” when leasing a camry, when he knows damn well that if he was offered a bentley coupe for the same price, he’d sign that contract quicker than a crackheads heartbeat while pulling out his wang and pissing on the hood of his old toyota
i’m not suggesting that every black woman who pulls the loyalty card is optionless. sh*t, i’m not suggesting that any black woman is optionless, but many times their reasoning for said loyalty blantantly contradicts the idea of loyalty itself. if you honestly feel that black men are the only ones who can please you sexually, then really, how “loyal” is it to exclusively sleep with brothas? if you honestly feel like the brads and chads of the world aren’t attracted to you at all, can you really take the racial (and morally ambigious) loyalty high ground?
that’s it. talk amongst yourselves while i scour the net for ways to set fire to the t-mobile headquarters in bellevue, washington break my sidekick contract. hopefully they have some type of “loyalty clause” that allows me to get out for free.
—the champ
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{ 325 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve been saying this for years. In 2008 if black women wanted to date white dudes in large numbers (I do acknowledge that the number is definitely increasing) they would be doing so. Black women, especially high level, high quality black women, do what they want when they want with whom they want. They’re totally in the drivers seat. If and when a black woman is attracted to an white dude, she’s gonna try to bag him. Loyalty to black men is marginal.
We’ll only try to bag him if we think we have a chance of getting him. Too many Black women, however, on some subconscious level, do accept that they are the lowest echelon of attractive in America. As a result, that white man they’re checking for wouldn’t want them because that white man has the option of Becky AND Ming-Lee.
i knew i wasnt the only one who thought that…
“Too many Black women, however, on some subconscious level, do accept that they are the lowest echelon of attractive in America”
interesting point. whose fault is that, in your opinion?
I don’t see a direct FAULT line anywhere. But I wish Black women would wake up and see that we are hot. What’s saddest to me is when I hear a BLACK woman say that the standard of Western beauty is based on white women because this means, on some level, if she doesn’t have any anglo features, she’s saying most won’t see her as beautiful. And it makes me question if she thinks she’s ugly because she’ll never measure up to what SHE has labeled the standard of beauty. Follow me??
I hear that! I think we as Black women are some of the most beautiful humans on the earth. And I”m not only saying that because I am black, but what other ethnicity has the varying shapes, sizes, skin tones, hair textures that we have and can still pump out some hot chicks? Exactly, we definitely need to realize our beautiful potential and love ourselves for the exotic queens we are and stop listening to Vogue, Cosmo and Glamour about what’s beautiful!
–Sasha Two Pistols
“Follow me??”
i do. you’re preaching to the choir
I think Black women are more beautiful than anyone else, point blank, period. But I also KNOW that most other people don’t realize or choose to acknowledge the beauty of Black women accordingly. So, hypothetically, if I were in to a White man, my first concern would be “but he might not like Black women”. Which is a valid thought, because most people don’t date outside their race.
“But I also KNOW that most other people don’t realize or choose to acknowledge the beauty of Black women accordingly”
i think this attitude is a bit defeatist. i mean, obviously i cant speak for you and your own experiences, but even today theres many women here whove stated that they get compliments from non-black men all of the time. whether its sincere or not is a different story, but the base appreciation is there
I agree with Champ. I have seen pictures of you. White men like you. You just don’t expect them to. But it is all water under the bridge cus you don’t want them anyway. So it doesn’t really matter.
“Too many Black women, however, on some subconscious level, do accept that they are the lowest echelon of attractive in America”
This is really sad to me. I grew up thinking that black women are the most beautiful and this was instilled by my mom growing up. She always taught me and my sister that we were beautiful inside and out.
Me too.
But the more and more I talk to different ladies, I’m finding out that this wasn’t instilled in them. Sad.
I grew up thinking all things Black were wonderful. Hell, I only had Black dolls. I remember someone gave me a white doll and my mother took me and the doll to every Toys R Us in the area until she found one with the Black version of the doll. Without nary piece of receipt, she convinced them to make the exchange. She never said white was ugly but she damned sure made sure I understood that Black was all the hotness.
I absolutely agree…I never felt unpretty because I was black. Despite all the contrariness around me growing up (being around mostly YT’s, especially) I never felt like being black was a disadvantage. Go figure…
Guess I’ll have to be the voice on the other side. I did not think that I was beautiful growing up, primarily because of my afro-centric features. I was the only black girl in my school and despite my mother telling me that she thought I was beautiful, that was NOT the feedback I was getting from my white class mates. Once I heard, “black people are ugly, well, except Whitney Houston.” Again, my mother did everything she could to make me feel beautiful, she bought me dolls that looked like me ect…but the second I left the house the world told me otherwise.
I’ve come a LONG way from those days. I feel beautiful and I know I’m not generally unattractive, based on the feedback I get from black men. However put me in a bar where I’m the minority, and the feedback won’t be the same. I’ll get some random hello’s but, it won’t be the same as if I were in a mostly black bar. It is what it is.
“I’ve come a LONG way from those days. I feel beautiful and I know I’m not generally unattractive, based on the feedback I get from black men”
what was the root of your change in thinking?
I wish I could say something ultra-empowering; however, the reality is I started to believe it when others started to. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder…I’d say I hold it most of the time; however, it serves as validation when I get positive feedback (aka holleration / compliments).
“I’d say I hold it most of the time; however, it serves as validation when I get positive feedback”
its funny how that works, how confidence breeds success, which in turn breeds more confidence
i feel the exact same way; its not that i dotn think im beautiful, i just couldnt see a white guy thinkin im beautiful cause he probly likes extra Anglo lookin chicks and i look extra african… the brothas show me love, but i dont even look at the YT crew cause i dont think i would suit their tastes at all unless they were overcompensating…
at the same time, there are black men that wouldnt touch me with a 10 foot pole because im not an europeanized african female. thats another thing that makes me break it down to tastes.
i dont take it personal cause im not necessarily attracted to white men or asian men or even light skinned black men, and thats not cause im a racist, its just cause i can appreciate a chocolate brotha maybe more so than the next chick….
Too many Black women, however, on some subconscious level, do accept that they are the lowest echelon of attractive in America.
Where does that come from and how can it be changed? Black women are SO NOT anywhere NEAR the lower, lowest, bottom or even the middle echelon of attractiveness.
“Black women are SO NOT anywhere NEAR the lower, lowest, bottom or even the middle echelon of attractiveness”
Thank you Cheryl! I completely agree. Beauty comes in all shades.
We aren’t. We’re the hotness. Ask anyone. LOL But some of us (not me) believe we are. I’m telling you. Next time you’re at the salon, the women’s group at church, etc. bring it up and see the responses you get.
yeah, black chicks rawk.
sounds like a my new band name on Rock Band!!!
*doing air guitar*
…except it sounds like some girl power, ya-ya traveling pants bull malarkey, so i shall stick with my current band name, “lovely cricket”
to me it sounds more like some intentionally ironic name some deplorable emo group would use, just to throw everyone through a loop
@the champ:
like the group “black kids” which has two black kids and three white kids in it? i still dont understand their moniker.
Right! And their song is called “I Wont Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You”! I am sooo confused. Young Black Teenagers 2K8, I suppose.
ok let me hop in this circle jerk of genuine admiration and attraction for the beauty of “black women” by screaming YOU ARE THE SH*T!
don’t u see that women across the planet are going to great extents to mimic ur features and that men across the planet covet ur beauty if not treasure it openly. day after day the new definition of the “exotic” woman (that rare sh*t) means adding features that are common to a black woman (lips, hips, color etc) and replacing those which used to be the eurocentric standard. (no lips, sucked in hips, pale etc.)
this transition hasn’t reached its apex yet but i clearly see it coming as everything else “people of color” becomes increasingly popular across the globe.
meanwhile F*CK WHAT U HEARD. love urself 1st. find value in u and don’t let others dictate what u should appreciate. it all starts with u. if u looking for someone else to determine your worth, build ur belief system, reinforce ur attraction or cast away ur doubts then that’s where ur f*cking up. all power comes from within.
i’m not being paid to gas u or patronize u. i don’t need expect or require ur approval, thanks or belief.
i’m welcome.
“i’m not being paid to gas u or patronize u. i don’t need or require ur approval, thanks or belief.”
Did you just have a meeting with Maya Angelou???
““i’m not being paid to gas u or patronize u. i don’t need or require ur approval, thanks or belief.”
Did you just have a meeting with Maya Angelou???”
this actually sounds a bit more nikki g-ish
I think it’s some old latent slavery bullsh!t…
Wow I never considered Black women as being the bottom rung of attractiveness…I always thought we were at the top. Since forever ago with “others” getting the padded skirts to get the illusion of a backside and the corsets to get the illusion of shapeliness to now with “others” obsessed with getting tans or booty implants…
I always look sideways at Matt’s trying to holler because a lot of the time it’s for a stereotypical reason…and I just can’t down with pink peen (LOL)…I couldn’t date outside my race.
Loyalty to black men is marginal.
I still love your screen name…it tastes good to say…but I think my propensity to agree with you is marginal. Although I know sisters that are EEOD (like myself if the right one tries me) there is still an underlying conditioning in my subconscious that dictates that I will have a strong Black king for a mate and happy brown babies… the older I get, the less I feel that the king in my life HAS to be Black…but I can’t lie, I would prefer it!
Dont even try it Champ….all cell phone companies are with the same bullsh!t….I am with cingular for the same reason!! The best thing to do is buy a refurbished or used phone until your contract is up…but just based on the options available here in the big TN…T mobile and sprint have the best plans but sprint be on some bullsh!t when it comes to their billing…there is always some extra involved…roaming down the street from your house and sh!t like that…Cingular also lies about those dropped calls. I drop more calls than my sister’s cricket which is nothing more than glorified house phone!!!
Okay that’s off my chest on to the topic. I totally agree.. You cannot consider yourself loyal if you are not overcoming temptation. It’s easy to say you are loyal if never tempted or if you believe you have already reached the best of your potential. The true test of loyalty is when chips are down and equal or better opportunity presents itself you stand strong. I am loyal to progressive car insurance because when I was under 25, 3 wrecks, 100 speeding tickets, they covered my sports car for about 150 dollar’s for full coverage! so now that I am older, wiser with a much better driving record I rolls with them even if I could save 15% elsewhere. . I am loyal to my husband because he loves me and I love him. I have had ex boyfriends, co workers or whatever make advances and some of these guys are more attractive, make more money, drive better cars etc but I stay with him against all temptation. I am loyal and faithful.
*this does not mean be a dayum fool. I mean if I could get me and my husband’s car insured for less than 100.00 bucks a month full coverage, loyalty be da-mned! If my husband cheated on me, hit me, continuously used, abused and neglected me….then I am loyal for staying and being faithful but there are plenty of loyal da-mn fools.
“I am loyal to progressive car insurance because when I was under 25, 3 wrecks, 100 speeding tickets, they covered my sports car for about 150 dollar’s for full coverage! so now that I am older, wiser with a much better driving record I rolls with them even if I could save 15% elsewhere. ”
This sounds like my love affair with Progressive. That’s why I’m still with them after 9 years…lol
i’m a happy progressive customer too! It seems like every time i turn around my insurance is going down Now Geico on the other hand…the gecco is cute and all but they gets no love from me…one (huge) ticket and they lost their damn minds.
I got my whole family dropped from Geico when I was 19. I had 2 accidents w/i 2 years plus multiple tickets and they dropped all of us. After that my Dad forced me to get my own insurance, and hence my love affair with Progressive was born. lol
Progressive rocks! Student discounts and good driver incentives make my insurance awesomely affordable…good times!
“Student discounts”
Word? I’m gonna hafta put in a call, I didn’t realize that. Good lookin’ out.
I love Liberty Mutual…I get full coverage with a $100 deductible and renter’s insurance for 125/mo and I needed an SR22 when I came on board with them…
FYI there are also college graduate and single mom discounts…
That’s correct Shad. In relationships be true to the fellow who has proven to be true to you.
“You cannot consider yourself loyal if you are not overcoming temptation”
exactly
Progressive Insurance needs to pay ALL of yall for the free ads.
Where do I sign?! LOL
“Progressive Insurance needs to pay ALL of yall for the free ads.”
product placement/mention muchy much?
I have progressive too, since I was 19. I always wondered if this was “grown woman’s insurance”??
LMAO!!! I love that commercial.
I’m not sure either ComebackGirl.
“The true test of loyalty is when chips are down and equal or better opportunity presents itself you stand strong. ”
Say it again.
Champ, you must not be keeping up with the news. Lawsuits are being won left and right by people in California suing cell phone companies over early termination fees.
Likely, you could talk you way out of it dropping the words class action lawsuit, california, and mr. squiggles here and there.
“Likely, you could talk you way out of it dropping the words class action lawsuit, california, and mr. squiggles here and there.”
i’m terrible at arguing though, so i might hafta recruit someone to do that for me
2 things:
1. I also own a Sidekick. I actually spent a good deal of time online tonight trying to decide between upgrading my phone, switching to another service or just copping an iPhone. I love the SK because I NEED to get my email, AIM and web on the go. I’m dependent on it now. Too many other phones in T-Mobile’s cache are lacking those things. I’m iffy on kicking out the termination fee, too. I’ve dropped it more times than I can count and that little upper left piece is coming loose. Ugh. I need a sexy phone (Hay iPhone!). The SK is feeling too bulky and unwieldy.
2. Ok, now to the POINT of this blog post.
I have never dated a white man. Not because they’re not attracted to me and not out of some sense of loyalty. It’s not my “duty” to only date Black men. I don’t date white men because, while I see white dudes who are good looking or handsome, they’re not ATTRACTIVE to me.
I see a foine brotha and I’m likely to pass out. Swoon. GOTDAYUM and all that. Thinking NSFW thoughts and telling my girls about it later.
I see a good looking white man and I’m like, “Oh, he’s cute.” No warm fuzzies. No tingly feeling. No swoon. Nothing to write to the Motherland about.
I think loyalty is a stretch and saying you are loyal when you really mean you have no choice is down right dumb.
Ahhh, well said, I feel the same way about black women.
“Ahhh, well said, I feel the same way about black women.”
me three
I definitely agree. I will admit that the David Beckhams of the world are fine as hell. But nothing beats seeing a beautifully confident black man. Sorry it’s just no comparison.
Yes ma’am.
i agree with your second point (no beef with your first, i just own a blackberry) – i’m not as attracted to other races as i am to black men. the “panty drop” reflex just doesn’t kick in as fast with brad pitt as it does with idris elba.
however, something else motivates my not dating white men – the thought of my parents’ faces if i came home with one. i know it’s all “it doesn’t matter what race/colour/dick circumference he has as long as you love each other” but with the traditional ass african parents i have, i’ll probably get sent back to my village quicker than you can say “arranged marriage”.
i have even fewer choices than i thought, apparently. le sigh.
I agree with you there. I know my family wouldn’t care if I brought a white man home, hell my mama has told me since highschool that she knows my husband will be white. Only thing is I”ve never dated a white man, go figure! But first I would just worry about how my family would be around him, cause my grandma is old school and she’ll be up in Sam’s calling them “crackers” and I have to say, “Uh, we’re in public”–to which she would respond, “Sh*t, I don’t give a damn about them crackers”. Gotta love Georgia!
And secondly, not all white families are open to the swirl love, so if his family is side-eying me, I can’t deal with it. I don’t have time to give a Black History lesson to grown ass people who need to grow up and realize that we are all in this world together.
But if all those facets do come together and work, I would definitely date a white guy. But honestly, my allegiance and heart will always be with a black man. And someone said earlier they just don’t have that “panty-drop feeling” with a white guy and its true. Give me a tall, strong, brotha who can wear the heck out of a suit, and its ova!
–Sasha Two Pistols
sent back? my dad is continually trying to arrange something. The funny thing is it’s always with the same girl. If he’d switch them up, he may actually run into one that I’d be interested in.
“The funny thing is it’s always with the same girl”
lol…this actually is funny
“1. I also own a Sidekick. I actually spent a good deal of time online tonight trying to decide between upgrading my phone, switching to another service or just copping an iPhone. I love the SK because I NEED to get my email, AIM and web on the go. I’m dependent on it now. Too many other phones in T-Mobile’s cache are lacking those things. I’m iffy on kicking out the termination fee, too. I’ve dropped it more times than I can count and that little upper left piece is coming loose. Ugh. I need a sexy phone (Hay iPhone!). The SK is feeling too bulky and unwieldy.”
dude we are literally going through the same thing. i’ve been waxing philosophical on getting rid of my SK but whats the better option? for one…T-Mobile’s plans are the best out there. point blank. period. 1500 daytime, unlitmited nights weekends for 49.99???? you can’t beat that. (it was a promo thing by the way…i called on the right day)
i keep thinking about getting an iPhone, but man, their plans BLOW ARSE. we need to start a group: Folks Considering Chucking Their Sidekicks But Don’t Know Where To Turn…or
FCCTSBDKWTT for short.
We could really talk all day about this.
i’m sure we could. shucks, i STAY on other cell phone providers websites daydreaming about the day i’ll own a phone that makes me feel like a shiny happy people holding hands.
then i look at their cell phone plans and throw paper clips.
“we need to start a group: Folks Considering Chucking Their Sidekicks But Don’t Know Where To Turn…or
FCCTSBDKWTT for short.”
***the prevailing word world outreach center***
I too am a member of FCCTSBDKWTT. *hanging my head in shame.*
I had a chance to get out when my phone broke earlier this year. I got another sidekick due to no one else having a plan that excited me. Now, I am locked in for 2 more years…and why does the camera still suck? It’s 2008.
I am stuck in the endless cycle that is T-Mobile.
“and why does the camera still suck? ”
can someone please answer this for me as well?
Hi, My name is Mimi and I am a FCCTSBDKWTT! :/
I agree…there is a Google Tmobile phone coming out that I have my eye on…The co-parent ran the AT&T bill so high that I couldn’t get an iPhone if I was blowing the CEO of Apple!
Goddy if u were blowing Steve Jobs u’d better get more than a credit on ur AT&T account and an iphone. if u get next to him let me know. i can coach u thru it.
luv to luv u Goody
“Goddy if u were blowing Steve Jobs u’d better get more than a credit on ur AT&T account and an iphone.”
yea, i figure she’d at least be able to squeeze free iphones for every vsb-er out of that arrangement.
or maybe goodygoods head skills are only at the “10% off” level. hmmmm.
see sh!t like that will get YOU in the corner…chid I will have you curled up in the fetal position calling your own name…let’s not behave this way, sir! you don’t want none!
***no-homo***
if u get next to him let me know. i can coach u thru it.
I actually think I might like that freaky sh1t…but I digress…strictly typed in jest…GK you got to know that she blows Jobs the best…LOL
“I see a foine brotha and I’m likely to pass out. Swoon. GOTDAYUM and all that. Thinking NSFW thoughts and telling my girls about it later.
I see a good looking white man and I’m like, “Oh, he’s cute.” No warm fuzzies. No tingly feeling. No swoon. Nothing to write to the Motherland about.”
Right, right…but I wouldn’t rule out the YT if he came correct and the brotha did not lol…
“the YT”
YT?
YT = White. Get with the program, Champ
its not my fault. i didnt get a chance to finish my toast this morning
I thought it stood for Whitey. I said it out loud, and that’s what it sounds like. lol Please know that I don’t work in an office where I need to be saying YT out loud repeatedly to get it.
I definitely thought it stood for Whitey. Y’all must can’t read out loud good.
“Please know that I don’t work in an office where I need to be saying YT out loud repeatedly to get it.”
lol at the image of the queen at her desk whispering “yt” to herself over and over again
the queen at her desk whispering “yt” to herself over and over again
bwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhha I dropped my cell on the floor laughing at that visual…good thing I got insurance on it!
YT = 2520
…the 25th and 20th letter of the alphabet.
do the hustle put ki’s in the street. jig.
Champ, Aside from:
1) some folks in love and avoiding tempting, legitimate options (as opposed to imagined ones) to do a partner trade in, and
2) the way many parents feel loyalty toward their kids,
we are generally only as loyal as our options allow us to be.
This was a brilliant use of logic and the truth at the same time.
“we are generally only as loyal as our options allow us to be.”
My daddy says this all the time. Is this a southern/Michigan thing??
This goes to my belief that most Black women don’t believe white men are seriously an option. Either they have been conditioned to believe white men don’t want them (which, dammit they sure do) or that there’s some nasty master-slave paradigm at work if they get with a white man. BTW, I didn’t make this up. These things are true because chicks are set to Super Share at the hair salon.
“we are generally only as loyal as our options allow us to be.”
My homeboy says this all the time…lol
“we are generally only as loyal as our options allow us to be.”
see, i actually disagree with this. i think that we (humans) can be loyal, extremely loyal, but it can’t be measured or cited unless there are realistic and favorable options on the table
Champ when it cums to dating our options are as real and favorable as we make them even against all odds.
you know, this falls in line with my thinking that:
the only chicks with commitment issues are the ones who are attractive (read: have options). busted broads with commitment issues need Jesus.
“the only chicks with commitment issues are the ones who are attractive (read: have options). busted broads with commitment issues need Jesus.”
I’m dying laughing over here! LMAO!
I SO AGREE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!! I have the same logic about attractive men and commitment issues…either they are not cute…or they have a small tallywhacker…either way…nothing I am trying to commit to…lol
“This was a brilliant use of logic and the truth at the same time.”
thanks for the compliment, btw
Champ, I think you missed my words “Aside from” and misunderstood my point, b/c you disagreed and said you believed people “could be extremely loyal, but it can’t be measured or cited unless there are realistic and favorable options on the table.”
I do too, and note that I was very specific in my comment when I said:
“Aside from some folks in love and avoiding tempting, legitimate options…. most folks are as loyal as their options.”
So yeah, this takes into account your correct view that loyalty, can only be measured under specific circumstances.
Panama & Others: I didn’t mention a thing about attractiveness, nor was I gender specific.
We all know folks who ditch their partners for someone who is attractive only to them, and we wonder WTF?
This is particularly notable when wealth is abundant between two partners and thus isn’t an issue, and the race is the same, but Partner A is visually plain or downright ugly to anyone but their mother, and Partner B is handsome or pretty, and both families are secretly overjoyed when the kids resemble B.
In this case, B found the beauty or attractiveness inside of A, and chooses passes up legitimate offers and temptation from others.
@ Hostess – I ain’t from Michigan, but by dad is from the midwest, and my mom from DC where I grew up. I think he passed along this observation about people only being as loyal as their options, but it’s clear in brand loyalty, ie, finding a better box of cereal…. although I still eat Captain Crunch from time to time.
duly noted.
**which is my way of saying. damn…that was some thorough sh*t. i have no response”**
Any black man who can say that he has NEVER desired a white or Asian or Latina woman is a Damn LIE. And any Black woman who can say that she has NEVER desired a white or Asian or Latino man is a Damn FOOL. I can say that I want and date other races.
The sooner black women start realizing and exploring our options the sooner black men may realize how nice it WAS to always have women who wanted and saw the good in them, despite what society, statistics, and Fox news would say.
Or I could just be crazy…
“Any black man who can say that he has NEVER desired a white or Asian or Latina woman is a Damn LIE. And any Black woman who can say that she has NEVER desired a white or Asian or Latino man is a Damn FOOL. I can say that I want and date other races”
some unsolicited advice: don’t mince words the next time you comment. its okay. you don’t hafta hold back here.
“don’t mince words the next time you comment. its okay. you don’t hafta hold back here”
I was thinking the same thing lol
LOL!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAH!
Yeah, no. I wouldn’t say I am a damn fool or even a regular fool. I like what comes natural to me and that is a man like myself- Black and proud. Have fun tasting the rainbow but don’t expect us all to do the same.
Ur right its not for everyone, but blind loyality leads you nowhere and when people start questioning your reasions. Just like this post is doing. When it is not appreciated or reciprocated, your loyalty is seen as , you just not having other options. Even if that isn’t the case.
Shay-d-lady Keep(s) It Trill in saying:
“You cannot consider yourself loyal if you are not overcoming temptation. It’s easy to say you are loyal if never tempted or if you believe you have already reached the best of your potential.”
And…
“we are generally only as loyal as our options allow us to be.”
Both of you are on point.
About the whole cell phone thing, my blackberry is essential to my survival and with a 4G memory card to store a lot of my music, I’m in no need (or desire) to switch to another phone. Many phones have the same capabilities (or better) but I’m sticking with this muthafugga right here and I’m not even looking for another option.
I so just got a Blackberry after being having a preference for Motorola phones for years…I’m in LOVE lol!
Yeah my crackberry is by my side day and night….I never realized how much I would actually utilize the features until I got it.
I’m a fan for life.
ok dammit im endorsing the i phone for the true birth and grandaddy of real hand held computing.
u like it u want 1.
…and when it cums to me.
u like it u want some.
take a number.
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whooooo!
In reference to the black women comment…did you ever stop and think about preference? Just like there are black men who prefer light skinned women, or whatever have it, there are black women who prefer brown men.
But I will agree that there’s nothing wrong with trying something new.
“In reference to the black women comment…did you ever stop and think about preference?”
this is actually my point: in many case, its preference, not loyalty. theres a huge difference between the two.
yeah Champ there’s a distinct difference between preference and loyalty. (as it relates to ur post)
…and an unfathomable chasm between intelligence and formal education.
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooo!
AWWW Champ you finally posted the dreaded loyalty topic. My take on the loyalty card many Black women pull when it comes to their preference for dating Black men has mostly to do with self preservation. Black men are viewed as the ultimate protector and the epitome of manhood. As a Black woman I desire to build up my communities and I believe that part of that includes marrying a Black man who is on point physically, mentally, economically, and spiritually. My belief is that if I were to marry a man who fits those qualifications, we would pass on those positive attributes to our children; thus improving the Black community from a social and economic standpoint. I also feel that by marrying a Black man, my chances of success will dramatically increase because my partner will be an individual who understands my struggles in this society and can relate to the challenges I have to deal with as a Black person. On the other hand if a Black man was some lame thug who was frequently in and out of prison I’m pretty sure not too many Black women would be heart broken if that convict decided to date a White woman.
Speaking from my own experience, I know men of other races are attracted to Black women. I’ve been courted by Non Black men who may have made excellent partners, but at the end of the day, I’m more attracted to Black men. My belief is that when it comes to dating, many Black women are frustrated with Black men because we are always looking out for their interest and needs but the same consideration is not returned. It’s also even more frustrating when it comes to interracial dating. Black men are so quick to dismiss Black women for whites and “others” while many Black women are willing to stay single than date outside. The pain goes even deeper when Black men, who are supposed to have our back, are disrespecting Black women worst than the rest of society.
I also want to add that I think Black women should start exploring their options even if they do have a preference for Black men. Find a nice guy who is supportive and will make a quality husband and father. Call me traditional but stop settling for shit and putting up with bs guys. We all determine how people treat us, especially in relationships.
Chick, this isn’t genetic mating and gene preservation on the Serengeti. ‘
“I were to marry a man who fits those qualifications” and
”thus improving the Black community from a social and economic standpoint
Trust, the man that you want, will opt for the woman who can simply say
“I want someone that makes me happy and who I can make happy”
I agree…while this all sounds good in theory, at the end of the day I am not looking to save my race through my dating choices, I just want to be with someone who completes me **sigh**. I think black women are definitely selling themselves short looking for our black prince charming…and we can blame nobody but ourselves. Brothas are not cheating themselves on what life has to offer, so why are we?
“I agree…while this all sounds good in theory, at the end of the day I am not looking to save my race through my dating choices”
This is very true. There might be better more efficient ways to our said salvation, limiting life choices and partners-isnt one.
Are you a brother who gets mad when people challenge your choice to date White women? You reek of that.
Please don’t criticize those of us who have a greater loyalty to the community because you don’t.
Not a man hun, I am a Black Woman. I criticize her for the over calculated reasoning and pageant coached comment. How is she going to help the Black community when she won’t even be able to get a Black Man in the first place. That type of checklist and extreme expectation is enough to chase away the most Loyal of brothas.
@ Uh huh That’s Right: LMAO at your saying this isn’t genetic mating and gene preservation on the Serengeti.
@ Sister Toldja: I do know one black guy who deliberately made the choice to not date white women, and he confided it was really hard turning down one in particular when he found himself attracted “to a pretty, really nice white attorney” who was really interested in him. He’s the kind of guy who has always had an eye for the chocolate sistas, but he liked this woman for her personality. Still, he felt strongly about the issues that you stated.
I will say, however, he’s a rare breed in my experience, as most black men are men first, black second.
Interesting comment. I was in NYC this past weekend and saw more white dudes with black women than I have ever seen before. I checked my calendar and it didn’t say opposite day, which perplexed me a bit. I think black women are starting to “expand their horizons”, as I continue to hear more of that “there aren’t that many good Black men out there” jibber jabber. Though I’ve dated at least 5-7 flags from the Olympics over the years, I couldn’t see ending up anywhere else than with a nice brown/black/however you wanna see it wife. Word up.
I have been seeing it a LOT in NYC too, especially Brooklyn. But nowhere near the levels to which I see the reverse scenario. I’ll say this, while I don’t love it, if there is balance (meaning Black women are doing it as much as Black men), then I guess that’s cool. I can’t expect everyone to share my notions of Black solidarity (nor can the people who marry “out” expect the community to improve as a whole, but they made their choice), but as long as it’s not just sisters getting rejected, I can cope.
I’ve dated at least 5-7 flags from the Olympics over the years
SLIM…you’re killing me…quite clever!
“My take on the loyalty card many Black women pull when it comes to their preference for dating Black men has mostly to do with self preservation’
is this self-preservation or racial preservation? (or, in your opinion, are they the same thing?)
You know I’m not sure. On the surface it does appear to be racial perservation but deep down I think women took out for their own best interests first.
I think it is both. Sisters care more about the race as a whole than Black men. Black men care mostly about the improvement of the lives of Black men, so dating or marrying another race doesn’t challenge their notions of Black solidarity the way that it would challenge a sister’s.
I also think that White men have been far less agressive in persuing their attraction to Black women than their female counterparts have been. Also, as the Black woman is regarded to be the least attractive group of women (not by merit, but by the oppressor’s need to keep his woman at the forefront of beauty to enforce the notion of White superiority/because White people control media), White men are less likely to step outside the box. Plus, Black women are less attracted to White men. Where Black men are more than happy to forget the lynchings of their ancestors over White women, Black women have a harder time reconciling the master/slave relationship with White men in the past.
Black men and women have very different values it seems.
“Sisters care more about the race as a whole than Black men.”
do you think this is exclusive to the american black community, or that maybe women in general across cultures are more culturally and racially “loyal” than men are?
“Sisters care more about the race as a whole than Black men.”
do you think this is exclusive to the american black community, or that maybe women in general across cultures are more culturally and racially “loyal” than men are?”"
Speaking from the point of a Nigerian woman, I think women are more culturally loyal than men. In Nigeria, the 2 biggest ethnic groups are Igbos and Yorubas. I’m Yoruba, and I see a lot more Yoruba men choose Igbo women than I see Yoruba women dating Igbo men.
that was the biggest worry my ex had. . . until we found her parents didn’t mind as much and my dad was the traditionalist of the bunch.
I agree with this assessment. However, I think this stems from the world’s societies in general being patriarchal. Men have predominantly always had the power of choice.
“However, I think this stems from the world’s societies in general being patriarchal. Men have predominantly always had the power of choice.”
good point
I can only speak about African Americans when it comes to that, and I feel that it comes from the fact that sisters have been charged with helping to uplift, support and nurture the Black male as well as the women. Where as Black men got so caught up in trying to remasculate, they completely left our issues by the wayside.
Muse u inspired me with:
“Black women are frustrated with Black men because we are always looking out for their interest and needs but the same consideration is not returned.”
well i’m sure u didn’t mean “always” or even most of the time because surely we both know of many instances where consistent acts of selfishness by black women reveal themselves.
Robin Givens
that girl at the braid shop
ur uncles wife
the preachers wife
ad infinitum…
wait is that Captain Obvious i see. behold it is he.
men can also be selfish but u’ve already described that. excuse my redundancy.
wit my smarmy azs.
i’ve got a pity party to go, u should cum. u could do a thesis on the brothers there who are sometimes sorrowful over their loyalty, i mean preference for black women. we’ll be holding hands and watching sportscenter. …and at half time we weep or i mean let the stripper in. (she’s alien by the way, green)
glimpses of my countenance are sure to infuriate thee.
glad to hear u encouraging urself and other sisters to open up and consider being in a relationship thats healthy and happy even if it is found outside of 100% pure blooded black men.
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whooooooo!
Firstly,I’d like to cosign every word Muse typed.
Secondly, I’m not sure what wildebeests you had this conversation with, but I am a Black woman, and white men approach me about three or four times more often than Black men do.
Which brings me to my main point. I happen to be more attracted to Black men than I am other men (including white men) by far. As Muse indicated, a good Black man is the pinnacle of masculinity to me and many Black women. For whatever reason (cough-self-hate-and-brainwashing-cough), Black men do not have nearly as strong a preference for Black women. Honestly, it doesn’t make objective sense when one considers how much “better” Black women are doing than Black men.
But, despite the deprecation of brothers which goes on in America, Black women still idealize you. We COULD be happy elsewhere if we “stepped out” on Black men, but we choose you. For many of us, it is you or nobody. To me, that is a social statement more than anything else. It doesn’t speak to a lack of options for Black women. It speaks of loyalty taken to an extreme.
Don’t discount that loyalty.
In case you haven’t noticed, the
“Loyalty” has been Discounted and is still dangling from the Sales rack…
Nobody is buying that Sh*t.
Some things must be taken away before they are appreciated
Ok, three strikes and you are outed. CLEARLY, you are a Black man with serious issues with Black women! Who hurt you?
sis…you are so funny…(((hug))) and on point and sh*t!!
Sister Toldja.
I am not a black man… I am a Black Woman. Didn’t realize there would be a question of that. Read my statements again with that in mind .. I was being blunt not tryin to be offensive. ..
I stand by what I said
Our “Loyalty” has been Discounted and is still dangling from the Sales rack…
Nobody is buying that Sh*t.”
I know that black women have been neglected. But we stand by. I don’t even listen to rap, watch fox news, VH1, BET, or MTV because of the images. I am disappointed in black women, for putting up with it. Now when you see a black man stroll by with a white woman tell me if you still think those “loyal thoughts” .
And I must say I love your Blog.. LOVE
In case you haven’t noticed, the
“Loyalty” has been Discounted and is still dangling from the Sales rack…
Nobody is buying that Sh*t.
this sh*t was a fuggin RIOT! I love it! I agree that thigns have to be taken away in order to be appreciated, in a “don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” sort of way…but I am tired of being responsible for teaching that lesson…it means more when you had a birds nest on the ground and it’s taken away…you have to completely start over…but dammit…it gets old!
Thanks.
I liked how you framed it as a choice.
It’s more of a compliment, in my opinion, to say I choose a Black man rather than I’m just blindly loyal to Black men in general or I have no other choice.
two things
1. “I’m not sure what wildebeests you had this conversation with”
this made me choke on my toast
2. this statement:
“We COULD be happy elsewhere if we “stepped out” on Black men, but we choose you. For many of us, it is you or nobody”
and this…
“I happen to be more attracted to Black men than I am other men (including white men) by far”
contradict each other.
while you’re saying how happy you could potentially be if you “stepped out”, you also say that you’re not attracted to men of other races, which basically means that you wouldnt be happy (or would be forced to drastically alter your perception of attractiveness) if you stepped out.
Saying that I am more attracted to Black men than other men and saying that I could be happy elsewhere are not contradictory statements.
There is nothing wrong with altering one’s perception of attractiveness. Attractiveness is not a static factor. At a macro level, societies do this all the time.
At a micro level, it is important to realize that initial attraction is not the end-all, be-all. My longest relationship was with a certain brother whom I was not initially attracted to. After several months of dating, you couldn’t tell me that this particular brother wasn’t the sexiest man alive. Many times, when women fall in love, our physical tastes become keyed to the object of their attraction. While I scrunch my nose at blonde hair and blue eyes now, were I to fall in love with some white man, either of these features could be among the physical traits I most associated with his person and, thus, found most attractive. I am, after all, so attracted to you (as I alluded to in my previous post with my statement about “masculinity”) because my preference for your dark skin, your noses, your hair and your speech patterns was shaped by the man I first loved and felt comfortable with–my father!
With time, however, you can learn to love and respect anybody [within reason] and be better off because of it. That is why arranged marriage has sustained post-feminism in certain cultures and American subcultures: the recognition that the most lasting relationships are, yes, built on mutual respect, but definitely BUILT from there.
With this in mind, loyalty is the ONLY reason we haven’t stepped out on you. Just because we speak your praises doesn’t mean that we have been struck immune from happiness that can be found elsewhere.
great reply. i stand corrected. just one thing though…
“With this in mind, loyalty is the ONLY reason we haven’t stepped out on you. Just because we speak your praises doesn’t mean that we have been struck immune from happiness that can be found elsewhere.”
…you should probably change “we” to “i” in this paragraph.
Jen says in part:
“With this in mind, loyalty is the ONLY reason we haven’t stepped out on you.”
Jen all of ur response to Champ was cogent as the f*ck. i likes!
Salute!
“…ONLY” reason huh???
LOL!
…however i’m not sure i need the loyalty of any woman when it cums to what race a woman will date. respect, admiration etc. moreso. just because i’m black doesn’t mean we’re going to hit it off or even be attracted to one another enough to get to know or carry on.
to all women;
get to know me because you are attracted to me in some way and keep ur first rights of refusal, thank u but i don’t need it.
i know. u can’t wait for “something” to be taken away from me to show my black azs what’s really good.
well:
i’m the answer to: what’s really good?
love urself
Main ? here is…where do you live and hang out? I find that black men are WAY more aggressive in approaching women. I can go to the grocery store, club, mall, bookstore ect and have a black man say something. I know I’m half-way decent looking…perhaps I’m not attractive to white men if they are not approaching me with the same fervor that black men do.
I’m always curious when black woman says that white men approach her more than black men, primarily because I have the perception (based off of experience) that black men are more aggressive when it comes to approaching women.
I live in Texas, but had the same experience living in New York, two places that are like apples and oranges. I have no idea why some Black women are approached more by white men than others, but locale hasn’t made much of an impact in my experience.
If we should be dating based on how much better black woman are doing than black men, wouldn’t it make sense to look at how much better yyy women are doing than black women too?
I didn’t quite say that. I think Blacks should stick together as much as they can a) because nobody understands us the way we understand us and b) in order to retain the Black American middle class.
What I WAS kind of hinting at is that there is no shortage of eligible Black women for similarly positioned Black men to date. It seems odd to me, then, that Black men would seek companionship elsewhere when so many of their own similarly-positioned women go unspoken for.
I disagree with both points a and b slightly.
My thing with point a that you’ve mentioned and others here have as well is that you are referring to some black experience that I (and I think many other black people) would never understand any more than you feel the most devoted/studied/etc white guy would understand.
Yet I (and the phantom people I referenced) are black too. So I have a hard time coming to grips with that sentiment because it excludes me (despite seeming to only exclude non-blacks).
As for the second, given the “one drop of black blood rule”, the black middle class can only continue to grow. I mean, it follows that unless that rule is abolished, eventually, everyone would be black – and this by the way is kinda hilarious to me.
Firstly, I’m sorry you may not have been a part of the full breadth of the Black cultural experience in this country, and if this is so, then that point does not apply to you.
Secondly, I think the one drop rule is dying. As the percentage of the American population that is white shrinks, it will become increasingly harmful to white privilege to keep whiteness such an exclusive thing. As time progresses, multiracial individuals will no longer be viewed as “Black” within white society, but will instead be a part of a different ethnic group which will increasingly have experiences that are very different from members of the Black middle class. This new class of multiracial people will move more quickly into assimilation with white America than Black Americans. If marriage rates among Black women continue to shrink, then this will worsen the tenuous nature of Black wealth in this country, and the Black Middle class will also continue to shrink. The Black underclass, which has been a permanent fixture in this country, will (contrastingly) continue to grow.
But, that is sort of a sociological theory, and getting into it would get us way off subject.
Hmm, my point is that almost nobody is a part of the “full breadth of the Black cultural experience in this country”. There seems to exist some myth of a hardcore streetwise dude who father died in jail who drives from his Wall street job in a pinto back to his grandmother’s house in the ghetto where he lives in the back room of the basement.
That is quite the exaggeration, but my point is that black people can’t have a monopoly on understanding the “black” experience. It is impossible because there is no unified black experience. So, women who don’t date outside their race because the person cannot “understand” what they go through will have the same issue with plenty of guys within their race. (I’m not necessarily saying there is something wrong with this).
I’m sorry, but the idea that there is no such thing as a Black experience in this country is laughable. No, the experiences of individual Black Americans are not identical, but they share common threads. Again, if you had no exposure to Black people and our culture growing up, then I’m sorry. But the rest of Black America shares quite a lot, and what you describe in your first paragraph is not the essence of that bond.
Jen…
“No, the experiences of individual Black Americans are not identical, but they share common threads. Again, if you had no exposure to Black people and our culture growing up, then I’m sorry.”
You seem to use Black people and Black Americans interchangeably. I do agree that there are shared experiences of Black people. However, there are Black people in America, who were born here that don’t have the essentialized “Black experience” that you are alluding to– namely American-born children of African and Carribbean immigrants. You seem to be referring to the historical legacy of slavery, Jim Crow, Reagonomics, etc. Some of second gen-ers share these experiences some of us don’t. I don’t think it warrants an apology. In fact, the apology is kinda condescending. I’d invite you to be clearer with your terminology.
“What I WAS kind of hinting at is that there is no shortage of eligible Black women for similarly positioned Black men to date.”
this depends on how you define “eligible”.
Hopefully, pretty similarly to how you do!
Single, intelligent, educated, community-minded women who also happen to be quite beautiful.
“if he was offered a bentley coupe for the same price, he’d sign that contract quicker than a crackheads heartbeat while pulling out his wang and pissing on the hood of his old toyota”
LMAO! I understand why black women are loyal to black men (noone else compares) but I want to know where these women live that they feel like men of other races don’t want them? In my experience, I’ve never been to a place where black women were not wanted by men of other races. I was raised in Upstate NY and spent a few years in DC where I was pursued just about equally between black men and men of other races. I just moved out to Seattle this summer and things are different here. You will see a lot more black women with men of other races (especially white) than you will see them with black men. I think it’s because the white men are more aggressive here than the black men. Since I’ve been here, I’ve gotten approached by a lot more white men than black men. It’s one thing to be loyal to black men because you want to be loyal, but black women should not feel that men of other races don’t want them because that’s so far from the truth.
“but black women should not feel that men of other races don’t want them because that’s so far from the truth.”
i agree 100 percent
Yeah I have to refute this whole “White Men Don’t Want Me” stuff. I think for the die hard loyalists, it might just be the law of intention. As in, that which you won’t see, you don’t see (can I get a hallelujer!!!).
White men game is rather ***different*** and sometimes more subtle and stealth like. But its game just the same. I was at whole foods having a cell convo wit my mama about chicken stock and chicken consomme. And this white guy came over and was like ” Excuse me, I overheard the conversation with your mother about stock and consomme. You can make your own chicken stock if you have the time. Let me show you what you need.”
I mean brothas don’t have this kind of culinary game. If you don’t believe me…whole foods ladies…don’t play.
I dont know now that might be a culture not racial thing. Cause I know plenty of dudes that jumped on the culinary bandwagon in college to get some chicks. My best friend started cooking solely because he was like sh!t I can cook shrimp and lobster at the house for half the price, the bed is right over there… and he loves to pick up chicks in the grocery store with his ‘helpful hints” LMAO
“I dont know now that might be a culture not racial thing. Cause I know plenty of dudes that jumped on the culinary bandwagon in college to get some chicks”
Where is this, cause in the DC area black men are just playing in the produce, lallygaggin over lettuce.
“Where is this, cause in the DC area black men are just playing in the produce, lallygaggin over lettuce.”
lol, as much cooking related shit that you talk, at the vsb bbq, you definitely need to bring some samples
“lol, as much cooking related sh*t that you talk, at the vsb bbq, you definitely need to bring some samples”
if the spirit moves me…Im going to do a youtube love cooking channel. Stay tuned. Check your local listings and write your affliates.
you know this is news to me all this jazz about white men not wanting black women… i mean, look at paul wall! he’s white and married to a black woman!
on a more serious note, i think that society is going towards more of a “melting pot” approach… i have never seen more interracial dating ever then i have been seeing recently. and it’s not just black men with white women… more black women are with white, indian, and asian (why i don’t know…must be the sushi thing) men then ever.
i used to be a non supporter of all this but you gotta get love where you can get it.
“i mean, look at paul wall! he’s white and married to a black woman!”
Exactly.
” mean, look at paul wall”
I am feeling EVERYTHING you saying. But ummm I hate to tell yall this, but Paul Wall isn’t REALLY white. I’m talking Bradd Pitt, George Cloony white..not dipped in the blood of hip-hop, soul, jazz and funk white…hence the reason Teena Marie and Michael Franks…they all got irrevocable Life passes.
“I am feeling EVERYTHING you saying. But ummm I hate to tell yall this, but Paul Wall isn’t REALLY white. I’m talking Bradd Pitt, George Cloony white..not dipped in the blood of hip-hop, soul, jazz and funk white…hence the reason Teena Marie and Michael Franks…they all got irrevocable Life passes.”
someone needs to make a list of “white, but not really whitewhite” celebs
“someone needs to make a list of “white, but not really whitewhite” celebs”
I can help make that list.
I was thinking the same thing…I braided Paul’s hair (back before he blew up) and biologically I don’t think the boy is caucasian either…his hair was like a wool sweater…I am talking ate up my French manicure type sh!t…lol…he gets a pass for real…LOL
LOL!!! Yeah…I think he’s got Brown family members, somewhere back in the lineage. Maybe 3 or 4 generations back.
Michael Franks has a irrevockable “black man” pass?
GTFOH!
do u kiss ur mother with a mouth like that?
u can’t give good cranium with a mouth like that.
write that again so i know i understand clearly.
Michael Franks?
…a “black man” pass?
I hate comments like that because when the reverse is applied “acting” white…we get mad and defensive and make statements like why is being educated and not breaking verbs considered white when you perpetuate the stereotype by giving “black passes” to white people that reinforce the ghetto stereotypes…..
“look at paul wall! he’s white and married to a black woman”
Yup! Paul Wall, Robin Thicke, David Bowie, Robert Deniro…..
Don’t forget the kat who plays Karev on Grey’s Anatomy.
He’s such a cutie!
True. And Robert Deniro’s wife is black and they have children; Wolfgang Puck just married a woman from Ethiopia in the last few years; also George Lucas is dating the black woman from Good Morning America who gives financial news……so we really are seeing it more and more with black women dating men of other ethnicities….I say more power to ya!
Girl stop…I’ve been saying I need to stop into Whole Foods…lol…
honestly i dont think the term loyalty can reallybe applied to dating within the race. You are a black person so there has to be something in you that draws you first to another black person. I dont think its loyalty, its comfort, self love, self preservation, animalistic attraction. I think this is the same with any other race. That is why I have more of a problem with men/women who ONLY date outside the race as opposed to men/women who do not date outside their race. I also hate to hear women say that they need to date outside the race because their options are limited and then the go get an old average a$$ white/other that still does not meet all of the bullsh!t you were trying to hold the brother too…
“then the go get an old average a$$ white/other that still does not meet all of the bullsh!t you were trying to hold the brother too”
I don’t see this happen too much. Most black women that I know give brothers so many chances and put up with a lot and stay single because of their preference of being with a black man. If anything, I think this happens with more black men who date women of other races. I’ve met a lot of black men who have such high standards for other black women (she has to be a dime, cook, clean, etc…) but then drop these standards when they start dating women of other races.
“then the go get an old average a$$ white/other that still does not meet all of the bullsh!t you were trying to hold the brother too”
I don’t know. The Black women I know who have married white men dated men (race aside) and those dudes aren’t white average dudes. As a matter of fact, the whites who step to me are ALWAYS on some over-achieving type stuff. I tend to feel like white men believe that in order to appeal to Black women–who could have Black men–they have to be kinda the shyt. They know they’re competing with Black men who they believe have an advantage–being Black.
I totally agree with this…
That is all.
co-signage
“That is why I have more of a problem with men/women who ONLY date outside the race ”
Agreed Shady. If you date both inside and outside of your race, fine, your choice. But to purposefully NEVER date people of your race seems a bit off, odd and unnatural. I have a feeling a lot of people that exclusively date outside their race are active BABs.
“I have a feeling a lot of people that exclusively date outside their race are active BABs.”
I agree to some degree. Some people have had horrible relationships within their race and have looked elsewhere as a result. Other people have been raised in a predominantly white/hispanic/black/etc. are more likely to date that way simply because that is what they know. Going out of the comfort zone can be real rough for some folks.
“I have a feeling a lot of people that exclusively date outside their race are active BABs.”
many are, but not all.
“But to purposefully NEVER date people of your race seems a bit off, odd and unnatural. I have a feeling a lot of people that exclusively date outside their race are active BABs.”
Yep. This is like my homegirl back in HS who only dated white dudes. We were all baffled, and she since married and had some children. I don’t know, it seems weird to me.
Her children are gonna hate themselves. OH GOD! Have you read that anonymous blog from that lady from Portland who married some underachieving white man and whose children hate themselves? She talks about how she feels pride at her children’s white features and, in one entry, discusses how they refused to play with a Black child at the pool because he was Black. I wanted to cry.
As a matter of fact, I think that this type of woman is what the above poster is talking about. Black women who ONLY date white men very frequently get on some “I will date raggedy, below-average white men” shit. One mentally ill, mixed-race sister I knew a couple of years back immediately comes to mind. She said she would never date a Black man, but dealt with physical and emotional abuse and even rape from white men. I will never understand…
“Her children are gonna hate themselves. OH GOD! Have you read that anonymous blog from that lady from Portland who married some underachieving white man and whose children hate themselves? She talks about how she feels pride at her children’s white features and, in one entry, discusses how they refused to play with a Black child at the pool because he was Black. I wanted to cry.”
Oh wow. No, I haven’t read that blog before, but that is truly sad.
thats the exact type of person i was referring too
“But to purposefully NEVER date people of your race seems a bit off, odd and unnatural.”
oh ForReal?
what ever do u mean “unnatural?”
u know i’ve heard that making an argument based on how “natural” or “unnatural” something is, is lazier than Shaq’s mouth full of peanutbutter giving a graduation speech at a Devry University honorary doctorate bestowing. i mean i’ve heard. heresay u feel me…
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooooo!
What is the difference between only dating another race and only dating your own? They are one in the same( ok, very similar). I understand having a preference, but to count out the ‘other’ under any circumstances is kinda silly.
I prefer dark meat over white meat.
“I prefer dark meat over white meat.”
**congrats to todays winner of the monk sponsored daily “unlongwinded comment of the day”**
1. http://www.cellswapper.com/ get out of your cell phone contract and avoid the fees (and port your number over to your new carrier)
2. while i am willing to be loyal to black men; living in america, i am actually more loyal to my countrymen first then black men , other races third. so when my ex and i were out and some dude walked up to me while he was in the bathroom to ask me why the hell i’m with some “indian” dude, i was quick to curse him out, cuz me ex and i are from the same country, same culture. off the bat, we have more in common than me and you!!
but i unless i live in a city that is full of a west indian contingent, i’m sh!t outta luck. as far as other races go, i also agree about white men, a lot of them are cute and a lot of them are sexy, but not really really ppl i’m attracted to. and when they ARE sexy, i automatically think that they are just looking for a lil skinny becky, which is opposite of me.
thanks for the link. i’ll check it out later
oooooooooooOoooOooooOOoooooOoOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO deOOOO deHAAAAA deHoooooo hahahaah I been wanting to do that since I got here. I hate the contractual forced loyalty of the cell phone sittuation boooooo at&t. I went out to the suburbs this weekend and all I saw on my screan was network search booooo mutha fugggin booooo. & only in the living room of the new apt do I get reception @ the house booo. & I don’t blame you for not wanting to get rid of the ole sidekick. I thought my world was ending when I (not even a month after moving to a new city for a job and a fiance she too fell to my cellies fate) lost my phone. All the music txts private vid um you get the point… I should have known something when I got the mfer that something was up cuz they wouldn’t insure the krzr. So I went back to the store they like they don’t sell that model n e more. So my loyalty hand is being forced. Plus errbody keep damming motorola’s battery life to hadys. So I’m off to see when I can get a sony ericson. Can’t be too bad they sponsor current tv or @ least some competition that they had. Moral of the story stressed out people loose things. PROTECT YA NECK! (everybody but you Jim Jones)
“oooooooooooOoooOooooOOoooooOoOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO deOOOO deHAAAAA deHoooooo”
vsb.com: inducing seizures since 1913
lol @ least they get to take a nap afterwards. & from what I hear it’s that good sleep.
I agree Champ. I am loyal to character.
I have dated black, white and asian-mix and would have married either had the circumstances been right. I married black because the man that just so happen to get me got me.
If something does not appeal to you then really can’t be considered an option or temptation. Loyalty is strictly when you opt to remain despite other affordable and obtainable options.
During a tedious tiff my then boyfriend (hub) stated that he was with only me because that’s what he chose to do. That’s good to know. However, I didn’t fail to let him know that I had options also. And I was very tempted to call a name or two. But that would have just make a small matter much worse.
“If something does not appeal to you then really can’t be considered an option or temptation. Loyalty is strictly when you opt to remain despite other affordable and obtainable options.”
exactly
Raqui spits:
“I married black because the man that just so happen to get me got me.”
“If something does not appeal to you then really can’t be considered an option or temptation. Loyalty is strictly when you opt to remain despite other affordable and obtainable options.”
melikes Raq.
u sure u weren’t doing a black man (ur husband) a flavor and just being loyal because he was black?
don’t do me any flavors like this?
it’s like threatening;
i could have been with so and so of so and so race with such and such but because of my loyalty to black men i’m rolling with u instead.
do urself [the woman who wold do this] a flavor and choke on a fat babies member.
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whooooooo!
I think that preference is being disguised as loyalty these days. It may be all talk, but I’ve never met a black women that hasn’t said “Now that’s a ______, that would get it” about a guy that wasn’t black. Black men are loyal to their D, so you ladies might as well just be loyal to your V and get what makes you happy.
“Black men are loyal to their D, so you ladies might as well just be loyal to your V and get what makes you happy.”
I agree. Why does choosing a black man over all others, become a African American Studies project. Of course I have my preferences of ultimately being with a black man, but it won’t be to my detriment.
I will always believe I have options because when you don’t, you make really bad life choices. So here I am NOT gonna seek the love I want and deserve, because I need to help cultivate lofty ideals of black love?
Black women sometime perpetuate the very stereotype we fight against, I refuse to be a martyr too.
“Why does choosing a black man over all others, become a African American Studies project?”
word.life.
“Black women sometime perpetuate the very stereotype we fight against, I refuse to be a martyr too.”
good point
“Black men are loyal to their D, so you ladies might as well just be loyal to your V”
LOL
… and he loves to pick up chicks in the grocery store with his ‘helpful hints” LMAO
Yeap, the Grocery Store is where it’s at. at 2-3am on a Saturday/Sunday you can find me at club Pathmark
i ain’t gonna lie, back in high school, me and my best friend used to roll to Wal-Mart late as hell and pick up chicks in that mug. you’d be surprised how hot some of the late-night shoppers are at Wal-Mart.
“i ain’t gonna lie, back in high school, me and my best friend used to roll to Wal-Mart late as hell and pick up chicks in that mug.”
in high school?
yep. in high school. i used to ummm…steal my parents car at night and go boink my girlfriend and try to sneak it back in the morning. other nights, i’d pick up my boy and we’d roll to wal-mart to get chicks.
i’m sure my parents knew i was taking the car…but i had a 4.0 gpa and played sports and was a thespian. i was like the model kid leading the double life…plus, i never WRECKED the car.
my parents were very trusting…so i made sure to never screw them over by involving the law.
who knew walmart was the best place to bag teenage chicks. i always thought it was wendys.
If you are speaking truth, you were the PERFECT teenager, Panama.
Well, apart from the grand theft auto part.
i’m speaking the total truf luv, the total truf.
shyyyyyt Jack:
“you’d be surprised how hot some of the late-night shoppers are at Wal-Mart.”
dam highschool and when not drunk and hung over check early 7, 8ish Sunday Morning.
oooooohhhhh weeeeee!
over in the toiletries section, toothpaste, lotion. u know next to the facial care and dainties isles.
the stories and the love i’ve gotten on isle 15.
ummmh ummmmh umph….
Lol at u bashing the kick. Im on my third kick with the latest being a lx, I love it. Always been a kick fan because of the simplicity of typing, texting, emailing, and im.ing. But anywho back to the post.
I don’t see it as being loyal so much, its laziness. Fact remains that a lot of women are content with staying with a man for fear of being alone or because of convienance. Some women don’t know how to cope without having a man in there lives so in turn they stay or become loyal to someone who they know they don’t have a future with. Maybe its fear. I have a few friends who are going through this fear of flight syndrome. Once a man knows u won’t leave because of the kid(s) or fear of struggling to pay all your expenses by your damn self, u become a yoyo. Jmo.
My advice to these friends always know ur self worth and never settle if your not happy.
“Lol at u bashing the kick.”
lol…i wouldnt call it bashing. more like constructively snarky criticism
“…its laziness.”
I agree 110%.
Great post Champ; i typically duck and cover when i see the black man’s hat coming but i think today will be cool.
I think like tends to beget like. Most people date the race that they are most familiar with, feel most comfortable with and saw the most of growing up..and that tends to be their own race. It makes sense. I believe dating exclusively within your race has less to do with loyalty and more to do with familiarity, convenience, and fear of the unknown. Not to mention, everyone gets a picture in their head of their future family at some point, and that picture can be hard to shake. For a lot of brown folks, that picture includes other brown folks.
About the sidekick: I used to have one too, i loved it at first, but it felt like holding a porkchop up to my face and it took up too much space in my little purses. I still have a tmobile phone and service now, but i HATE tmobile and i’m trying to move on.
“but it felt like holding a porkchop up to my face and it took up too much”
lol…i know the feeling. talking on the kick basically kills all peripheral vision
I’ll respond just as I did on my blog:
NO!! No they can not. I have seen lots of Black women say they weren’t attracted but let a shirtless David B. come on TV and the humidity in the room rises significantly, if you get my drift. In those cases, I call SUPER BULLSHYT because it’s not that they aren’t attracted to white me. It’s more likely these women don’t think white men would want them.
Voila!
totally agree.
for the record, david beckham is fine as hell… hehe
I concur.
He’s fine!!!
David Beckham can get it. In church. During Service.
“for the record, david beckham is fine as hell… hehe”
when did david beckham become to go-to person when discussing caucasian male “fineness”? is he another victim of the bandwagon?
Nah…he’s been fine. I just think a lot of Black women are just now finally paying attention.
He’s fine and all, but I would need him not to talk. His voice is not the business. I’m not even talking about the accent either, it’s just not right.
“let a shirtless David B. come on TV and the humidity in the room rises significantly”
Hostesss, David Beckham is hot!!!
Everyone has a preference. I prefer American Black men but I’m open to dating other Americans. I prefer Americans over men from other countries because of the vast cultural differences.
Champ why is my original comment being held for editing. There was nothing profane or out of the way in the entire comment. What’s the problem?
i know you asked the champ, but let me speak on comment moderationating right quick…
it’s the republicans.
thank you.
seriously though, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason why some comments get held for moderation while others don’t. shucks. i’ve had one of my own comments get held and it said: i love my mama.
we’re working on that…let me rephrase, Liz is working on that as The Champ and I know jack-spitz about the technical character of the matrix. we just show up to work, dun-dun.
word to shawty lo.
Thanks Panama. I was wondering.
shhyyyyyyyyyyyt Jack:
“it’s the republicans.”
or
Jim Jones
or
Chuck Norris
1 or some combo of all are responsible for all lifes ills.
As far as the white black thing goes, do whatever makes u happy. There are some fine white men out there that I joke about, but my preference is all varieties of chocolate.
amen to that… well maybe not so amen… some of those stereotypes are true, that’s what i heard anyways… i’m not a supporter of having bad sex when you’ve been forewarned
“some of those stereotypes are true, that’s what i heard anyways”
lol, i’m sorry but i had to chime in. you cant co-sign on the truth of stereotype if all you have is hearsay.
well not all of them were hearsay… they weren’t all “felt”say…lol…
no offense to any asians that are reading but i’ve seen their stereotype materialize into truth…
“no offense to any asians that are reading but i’ve seen their stereotype materialize into truth”
lol, ok. point taken
White is a chocolate also.
LMAO Raqi! Good one.
but not really.
first off… wooooooooooosaaaaaaah my dear champ… everyone knows the only way out of a contract is to either bitch horribly, report the to the BBB for sexual harrassment, or pay… the second worked for getting me out of my la fitness training contract (i promise there was some harassment going on)
but you know, i totally agree with you here… my question is this, if you decide to toy around with other races to confirm that black men are it for you, does that jeopordize the loyalty factor too?
“…if you decide to toy around with other races to confirm that black men are it for you, does that jeopordize the loyalty factor too?”
Nope.
“report them to the BBB for sexual harrassment,”
say what?!??!?!?
“report them to the BBB for sexual harrassment,”
say what?!??!?!?
yeah, i need to hear this story too
me 2. My homegirl was just telling me last night that she’s tryna get out of her gym contract.
This story could be beneficial to her as well.
it’s such a traumatic story **wiping tears away**
just kidding of course… well my company had a corporate membership with la fitness so after i joined with my company, i also started training. well needless to say, they did a whole lotta lying to get me to sign the contract, including telling me that i could cancel at any time…
well the guy that signed me up was always staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable in addition to the fact that the guy that i trained with slapped my ass on a couple occasions citing that he needed to get a better picture of what he was working with… gross…
anywho, i tried to get out of my contract and they told me it was impossible unless i talked to the regional manager… i tried to contact him for like a month and finally i reported them to the BBB and low and behold i got that call from the regional VP!
“the guy that i trained with slapped my ass on a couple occasions citing that he needed to get a better picture of what he was working with… gross”
did this guy’s name happen to be “jim jones”?
lol…nah… no jim jones… ed to be exact… it was kinda weird cuz he would talk dirty to me while we’d train… he was an ex-con
“it was kinda weird cuz he would talk dirty to me while we’d train… he was an ex-con”
i’m sorry but this is just funny as hell, lol. now i’m imagining you working out with the character charlie murphy played in the chappelle show’s “real world” skit
WOW!! Gym contracts are like signing your soul to the devil. There’s a reason why I only go to Bally’s when I can get those young free passes.
OMG they really are… now i’m with Crunch…
Yep I’m steady tryna get released from 24 hr. Them hoez done had my contract on hold for dayum near a year, and won’t let me out.
I think I’m gonna have to go with Plan B.
ladebelle says:
“in addition to the fact that the guy that i trained with slapped my ass on a couple occasions citing that he needed to get a better picture of what he was working with…”
some jobs are just HARD.
jiggle jiggle dangle dangle ;}
What is a knat?! LMAO!!!!
Loyalty, schmoyalty.
I guess I’m not loyal, I’ve dated outside of my race. Not white though, as I’ve told ya before, I don’t do the pink meat. I never put much effort into thinking a white guy would like me, because I’m not even attracted them. I’m talking about IRL white guys, too, not David Beckham, or some other celebrity.
Do you get extra points for being loyal? I don’t know. I love my Black men, with the Hispanics running a very close 2nd. I gotten some ish from Black guys about dating outside, but I just give them the STFU look, and keep it moving.
What is a knat?! LMAO!!!!
an insect indigenous to central pittsburgh and it’s eastern suburbs. it tends to congregate around streetlights, misty grass fields, and sleepy bloggers with occasional spelling issues
I see….lol
yo I think that is supposed to be gnat.
Love is color blind.
but the color purple just wanna be loved.
Trust. T-Mobile is the lesser of the other evils. I’ve had Cingular and Sprint and was constantly getting RAPED with my phone bills…. Those minutes were disappearing QUICK.. my bill was NEVER under $200 with Cingular. Ridiculous.
Back to the subject???? Someone who has no other choices CANNOT claim they are loyal. YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICES! And since some people feel like they can’t be single, they simply “settle” for what is deposited into their laps.
I love black men, but since the black men don’t always love me, I’m mulling over going to an “other.” I know one thing, if he’s white, he needs to be a Robin Thicke white boy… smooth and sexy… none of that Mr. Boston or Eminem stuff here.
Mr Boston was the biggest mystery to me on I love NY. And that’s not saying much but still, he was just NASTY (and she let him fix her food?!)and he had beady little eyes, what was the appeal?
“I’ve had Cingular and Sprint and was constantly getting RAPED with my phone bills…. Those minutes were disappearing QUICK.. my bill was NEVER under $200 with Cingular. Ridiculous.”
You too? That’s why I had to duck out with early termination after 7 years.
I know. And Justin Tim thought he was going to bring Sexy back. Robin Thicke is the ultimate light sexy. That voice…
RT could get it LOL…
Mr. Boston is the epitomy of corny white dude. And that is NOT one I would consider bringing to the annual bbq.
If I choose to be with a Ytie, he needs to have swagger so people can be like “well he ain’t a brotha, but he is sexy”
As an aside, I’m watching The Hebrew Hammer and this shyt is funny!!!!!!!
great movie. must see
“As an aside, I’m watching The Hebrew Hammer and this shyt is funny!!!!!!!”
word?
Why be loyal to those who aren’t loyal to you?
Good question.
BTW, you didn’t link to the actual post that you commented in. But I would love to hear what the readers of VSB.com think about the following statement:
“[White men] already get everything. Why do they have to have our women too.”
I still haven’t been able to chat with the Black man who said this so that I could get a clearer picture of if he was serious or joking.
you lie. a black man actually had the nerve to pull that one out of his ass? *smh*
where do you get off throwing me evils for looking at a white man while out the corner of your eye you’re checking out the asslessness of sum yung ho? i’m not hating on black men who date outside of the race (as long as it’s not an exclusive thing), so please don’t do the reverse.
sidenote – the idea that the white men “have” us sounds like we’re possessions and doesn’t quite sit right with me. i really might have to have a conversation with this fool.
Why yes. This came from a Black man. One who, on paper, seems to have everything he wants. He has a great woman, child (from previous marriage) and is a medical doctor. He’s attractive. He speaks in full sentences. Also, his statement made me kinda feel like he was saying Black women belong to Black men.
“He speaks in full sentences.”
full sentences are overrated
So fragmented sentences are whats hot in the streets?
‘So fragmented sentences are whats hot in the streets?’
yes they…
…are
“where do you get off throwing me evils for looking at a white man while out the corner of your eye you’re checking out the asslessness of sum yung ho?”
*cries*
“[White men] already get everything. Why do they have to have our women too.”
he had to be joking. look, i’m lightskint, and i STILL don’t feel threatened by a single white chap out there in regards to Tinted Women Procurement. any brotha who feels that way needs to be Drop Squaded…
…or simply has no game, whatsoever. Forget game, he has no bass in his voice and is suspect to everybody.
Drop Squaded…
No you didn’t!!!! LMAO!!!
co-signage with PJ…that type of statement REEKS of b*tcha**ness!
“I still haven’t been able to chat with the Black man who said this so that I could get a clearer picture of if he was serious or joking.”
for his own sake, i really, really, really hope that he was joking
I feel for all of you humans that are forced to sign contracts. My sister works for verizon so I get unlimited everything and yearly upgrades. I’m loyal to verizon as long as she works there. I love my Voyager. yay Verizon!
I have tried just about all flavors. Foolish are those that say they will not. I am with one of the dark ones now just because she is the coolest of them all. When a woman goes half on a PS3 with you you have to give her your full attention.
“When a woman goes half on a PS3 with you you have to give her your full attention.”
bwahahahahahahaa i hate that my logic works in the exact same way.
I would think every man’s logic works that way.
except i’m a girl… i’m trying to get this sony flatscreen right now so i might need to start looking out for a dude asap – be like i’ll cook you dinner and provide “dessert” at least three times a week in return for help with those down payments…
just 3?
we need to get a bigger tv too. We have to kill mutants and destroy property on a bigger screen in oder to admire the vastness and detail of the destruction
i’m a college student – i gotta work with a limited budget and when i have no class. but if dude threw in an xbox or something i might be willing to upgrade to 4.
” I am with one of the dark ones now just because she is the coolest of them all”
one of the dark ones??? So you found her on Star Wars???
LOL
I meant dark as in highly pigmented..high melanin content. I don’t think she is a Sith Lord. I havent seen the Emperor sulking around the crib lately.
“I meant dark as in highly pigmented..high melanin content. I don’t think she is a Sith Lord. I havent seen the Emperor sulking around the crib lately.”
That was the dorkiest comment of the day. That is all.
It can get dorker. I can start talking about Laplace transforms or open system steady state steady flow equations. I feel the urge to pull out an imaginary number. Normal force all up in that a$$.
“I’m loyal to verizon as long as she works there.”
LOL Deviant. Now that’s a good example of loyalty. We’re only as loyal as our options.
Ironically, I seem to attract more other men than brother men. It’s not like a sister is passably white girl fine so I don’t really understand the allure. I can’t speak on the sisters who believe that “they” don’t find “us” attractive. I used to feel anxious initially with men of other races because I feel like they secretly want to live out some antebellum S&M ish. People make a lot of excuses for their own short-comings and are honestly insincere in the very words professed. This is not an issue of loyalty. They deny before they can be rejected to justify complacency: “but many times these same women also profess that theyre not physically/sexually attracted to the others and dont feel as if the others are attracted to them”. I just couldn’t get down like that.
“I used to feel anxious initially with men of other races because I feel like they secretly want to live out some antebellum S&M ish.”
i actually do feel this way about white guys that ONLY date Black women…like its some fetish type ishkabibble.
though i can admit to my own double standard here. a black woman who has given up on Black men and is actively seeking out white men doesn’t really give me as much pause…i figure she’s just fed up and has lost hope. generally she needs Barack Obama, he’s got the audacity of hope.
that was stupid.
“i actually do feel this way about white guys that ONLY date Black women…like its some fetish type ishkabibble.”
i do feel this way sometimes, especially cos i seem to see white men get with the darkest skinned, most african-looking women they can find… (this is probably a skewed viewpoint as a result of living in africa)
jungle fever – driving 2520s undercover wild since 1558.
black women who have given up on black men need, “the audacity of hope P?
they need Buddah or some deity.
u is be stupid dough.
oh and btw, u bama. LMBAO!
em my brother always say:
“When the lights go out, we are all the same.”
“i mean, look at paul wall! he’s white and married to a black woman!”
HOLD UP!! Paul Wall is white? I thought we has just very light skin
Paul, boo, is a YT.
he was assimilated years ago but he is a white guy
HOLD UP!! Paul Wall is white? I thought we has just very light skin
You can’t be serious right?
Wow.
Eff yo couch, well EFF yo TV for having such dark contrast.
Paul Wall is a Caucasoid.
“Eff yo couch, well EFF yo TV for having such dark contrast. ”
okay….this is funny.
I just had a thought, why do we (myself included) even get mad or affected by who someone else chooses to date, if someone has a close-minded view about dating only a particular race that happens NOT to be yours that wouldn’t be someone you neccesarily would want anyway. Just date who you like, sh*t there is somebody for ER’BODY, ya dig?
I always thougth that was stupid. Who cares who other people date? You should only be concerned about your own preferences
“I just had a thought, why do we (myself included) even get mad or affected by who someone else chooses to date, if someone has a close-minded view about dating only a particular race that happens NOT to be yours that wouldn’t be someone you neccesarily would want anyway”
good question
For some people they take shyt too personally. Some Black dude decides he only wants to be with non-Black women, some Black women feel like he personally rejected him. But lemme put y’all up on a secret about people who choose to specifically avoid romantic relations with people from their race. Eh, I’m really only talking about the Black men who aren’t trying to hear being with a Black woman. I’ve done the research and it all panned out that these men aren’t men most Black women would want anyway. So let them go off into the non-Black world and do them. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me. I wouldn’t want to be with a man who is with me just because I’m Black.
I once had a frociate say, “Why should we suffer and limit ourselves to just being with Black women.” I have remembered that a decade later. I wonder if he feels he has played himself short by marrying a BLACK woman. I wonder if he believes his BLACK daughter can only be with a Black man if that Black man SUFFERS and LIMITS himself to Black women.
That should have read:
Some Black dude decides he only wants to be with non-Black women, some Black women feel like he personally rejected THEM.
I’ve done the research and it all panned out that “these men aren’t men most Black women would want anyway. So let them go off into the non-Black world and do them.”
I believe this as well.
“But lemme put y’all up on a secret about people who choose to specifically avoid romantic relations with people from their race. Eh, I’m really only talking about the Black men who aren’t trying to hear being with a Black woman”
hello somebody…if you’ve been “fortunate” enough to be their social experiment…you’ll know the conversation is TOTALLY different. For a man to completely exclude you (save experiment) you know he’s wacked the he$ll out from the “bo-ginning”…its not even a loss…its a self select yo azz out of my dating pool…ASAP.
“self select yo azz”
this is actually the name of the chain of supermarkets i was thinking about opening in western pa.
Self Select Yo AZZ supermarket and Deli is already a chain i own that started in Ohio and then moved to New Castle Penn and beyond.
so i’m suing if u try it. i’m letigious like that.
LOL!
Can I make a minor suggestion to you both??? It is not prudent to name a place of business that sells food—any iteration of azz. Unless you got some homeopathic remedies for ye$ast infections or hemorids.
I see nothing wrong with this statement: “why should we suffer and limit ourself to black women”.
That’s like saying “why should I suffer and limit myself to McDonalds”. Just because I then decided to go and get a Big Mac doesn’t mean I’m not undergoing some deep psychological struggle.
The statement is about having a choice, not necessarily what those choices are.
In the context of the discussion–which was written; therefore more thought out than verbal communication–use of the words ‘SUFFER’ and ‘LIMIT’ bother me. First, to only have Black women is something uncomfortable which means it causes suffering. It’s on some ‘sad is the man who only have Black women to choose from’ type shyt. Second, the use of ‘limit’, IMO, denotes that to chose a Black woman means you have limited yourself because if you did open up your options, she’d be the last he’d choose.
Here’s what’s funny…I like how Champ used the analogy of the Sidekick. I would say that I am lady of preferences…meaning, there are certain things I prefer, but I do not rule out other options if they present themselves. For instance, I am a purse whore…and since I was old enough to feen for them, my preference was Dooney and Burke bags. In recent, the designs/styles haven’t appealed to me as much, and I’ve switched to a competitor. My first love will always be D&B, but until they get it right, I don’t rule out other options.
That’s the way I feel about black men. I have a preference for bald, chocolaty brothas with strong muscular legs. Yet, I’ve dated all kinds (including a Brad…actually, his name was Doug but I digress). For me, it’s like, I have a preference, I have options, and yet I will always choose whatever option is best for me at that time, whether it meets my preference or not. Loyalty…smloyalty…
“Loyalty…smloyalty…”
this would be the perfect title to my autobiography
I havent read the comments yet…
I just switched to the TMobile Dash from “Sidey” (Sidekick II)..he was my loyal pet for 4 yrs and then one day, without warning, he died, wouldnt power up or nuffin…so we (me & ABCDE) made a little casket for him, said a few words over the “body” and moved on…it was an awkward transition to D(dot) and I’m still boycotting the blue tooth movement, but I love being a T-Mobilian! where else can u have a hellafied past due phone bill and still receive calls & texts!
u cant make any calls or send any texts, but so what ni99a pay ur sh*t…
As for the loyalty phallus-see…I am only as loyal as my options…. I’ve dated dudes that were Black and something, but never had the chance to date a true muggle…I also am of the opinion that the disparity in what is typically desribed as the post-colonial standard of beauty and banging-ness criteria in Negronia play a major role in what is and is not attractive. I dont have trouble meeting men of various races…but real talk…men are men regardless of skin…same sh*t different day…
“where else can u have a hellafied past due phone bill and still receive calls & texts!
u cant make any calls or send any texts”
hmmm. good point. this is something i forgot to consider
I remember having this convo with a sista, and remarked,
“So you couldn’t handle s$%^king a pink d#$@%^k?”
^^Edited for other corporate slaves.
I think she threw up in her mouth a little @ her own little visualization.
So in reality, there is no loyalty.
So you’re right, She dates black, not because others don’t find her attractive, but because she finds no other men attractive.
But given the profile that many black women want, it’s easy to see where she might entertain others.
“I think she threw up in her mouth a little @ her own little visualization.”
i think i just did too
thanks WIA—for yet another reason why I can’t do the pink meat…lol
When it comes to loyalty & jobs–your loyalty should lie with you. Being loyal to one company these days don’t make sense because companies will lay you off without thinking twice about it. If a better paying job comes along, you better jump on it and forget company loyalty. Look at yourself as a corporation and you’re just moving your company to another locale
“When it comes to loyalty & jobs–your loyalty should lie with you. ”
this analogy works on a surface level, but i dont think you can compare relationships and occupations in the same light. if thats the case, we should always upgrade for someone smarter, better looking, etc, when given the opportunity
Well, I obviously have different views on what white men are attracted to because they luv me and I am definitely a sistah with no cream or additives.
“Well, I obviously have different views on what white men are attracted to because they luv me and I am definitely a sistah with no cream or additives.”
no cream? damn. every chick needs a bit of cream
Another entertaining blog.
Now I had T-Mobile first then US Cellular and now Verizon and I got out of the contracts for free. How? Simple. At the end of the contract, bounce. Thats all there is to it. You mentioned somethin else about a new phone number. Wrong again. I have had the SAME number since I ever had a cell phone. Most companies have a copying device and transfer your address book to your new phone no matter what contractor you were with prior. I hate seeing those “need new numbers, got a new phone” bulletins and stuff. It’s silly really. Ask them to copy your info. Verizon’s system even transports your pics from old phone to new phone. And it’s free of charge. And only takes a few minutes to do. Who dare pays $300 just to bounce out of a contractor. Not me ever. ha
As for the purpose of this blog lol………I’m just not attracted to “other”. Call it a fallacy on my part, whatev…but it’s just my personal preferences to keep my brothas.
That is all…
duly noted
**inside info**
To easily terminate contract, you can also file a complaint with the FCC-you however should site your grievance related to coverage in home area, dropped calls, interference (and they should be habitual). The suggested remedy that you should make is early termination of contract.
Wireless carriers take these complaints VERY seriously (and for good karma make them TRUE) from this regulatory agency which provides them spectrum. I get these sometime relating to rf coverage and i have to jump to help answer and fix. They make me nervous. And sometimes I itch-because fines could result in frequent violations. Companies have I think 45 days to answer.
wow. thanks and sh*t
Not that cream silly! Jus sayin im dark skinned! LOL
If you want to get out of a contract, try some of the methods featured on The Consumerist:
http://consumerist.com/consumer/apple/6-ways-to-cancel-any-cellphone-so-you-can-get-an-iphone-272305.php
number 6 says “DIE”!!!
WTF??? this is terrible. is faking your own death worth an iphone.
LMAO @ #6 “Die”. Well iDied laughing
There’s this cute white boy at the J.O.B. I’m presently putting the mack down on….if things go my way, I will be rescinding my loyalty and returning my card back. Stank you very much.
It’s hilarious how half these responses are cell phone grievances, and tips on how to get out of contracts early.
VSB: helping consumers scheme since 1913.
As a Black woman who has dated a variety of people (race, shade or gender be damned) I have found it beneficial to take folks on a person by person basis and to be open to an individual’s wonderfulness, attractiveness, etc regardless of any preconceived notion or expectation.
I think that many Black women expect to be in LTR with Black men, and are simply holding out, not out of loyalty but because they think they are supposed to.
I believe it will take a huge shift in perspective of Black women to (in large numbers) feel comfortable dating other races of people for a whole host of reasons.
I date black men, of the larger persuasion, because I don’t find men of other races [read: white dudes] or skinny dudes attractive. And I have a down-low aversion to light-skinned black men, but I don’t put it out there that often because it makes it hard to explain away my high yella son. Impetuous youth: I had it. *sigh*
Now, with that being said, I stick w/a dude in particular when I know I should be cutting my loses and bouncing because I HATE CHANGE! I am lazy and never want to start over, and as I’ve gotten older, this has gotten worse. So I stay single or “loosely connected” to my favorite guys just to avoid all that “brand new” crap that I’m SURE I was totally over 6 yrs ago.
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