I have a theory.
It is a good and right theory. My theory is biblical.
The theory? Glad you asked.
Panama’s Theorem 1.1: Most women aren’t who they say they are when you begin dating them.
Sidenote: I’m well aware that many men wish death up on me misrepresent themselves. However, there is one major difference. Men are maliciously and deceivingly misrepresenting themselves in attempts to procure nudity; women ACTUALLY think they are the people they say they are.
Oh go ahead. Say I’m wrong. Say you, say me.
Fellas, think back to when you started dating that lovely young lady who told you she appreciated her space and hated dudes that smothered her. Then think about the fact that she’s at your house everyday and is constantly cooking mashed potatoes. And what happens to mashed potatoes?
They get smothered with gravy! See, I can’t make this up.
Or think about the chick who said that she didn’t mind her man watching sports all day on Sunday because the way she saw it, she needed some time for herself anyway and Sundays are just as good a time to prepare for the week as any other day.
Then realize that your Sundays don’t belong to you because all of a sudden she ALWAYS has something she wants to do or needs you to do which crosses right over into each and every football game.
Hmm…you know this woman. Brotha, you’re dating her right now.
Keep in mind, I don’t think women are actually doing this on purpose or that women are evil liars fixated on making men’s lives hell. Heavens no. I think it’s just a fact that women are very familiar with who they want to be as people and companions in a relationship. And that’s admirable. Or at least it would be if they were actually able to keep up with the ideal mate they are in their heads.
Most men don’t even try to keep up with the façade if they can sample the goods in short order. He might start out as a multi-millionaire oil tycoon at midnight and by 9am he’s a broke, short-order fry cook at McDonald’s again. He just happened to be good at selling the fantasy you needed for the moment to meet his end-goal. What a bastard. But see, he’ll give up the ghost at some point because he’s achieved some goal, warped as it may be.
Men are basically evil when it comes to procuring nudity. Don’t trust us them.
But a woman, oh a woman, will lead you to believe she’s this understanding, accommodating, hi-fiving companion when she’s really just a woman deep down inside all of that…and STILL won’t cop to misrepresenting herself.
You know, it’s a damn shame women aren’t wrong about the right stuff. Like she says she can’t cook a lick but you find out she’s Rachel Ray in the kitchen. That just never happens. Or she tells you she’s not into anything kinky or freaky and you come to find out she owns every porn series known to man and is on a one woman mission to accomplish every move she’s seen with just that one right man.
Hmm, that last one may be a bit iffy. But you get the point.
Basically she’s the most honest, observant, and self-aware creature on planet…except the total opposite.
Oh well, keep her.
-PANAMA
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{ 129 comments… read them below or add one }
!!!!
But I really do think I am that chick who has better things to do than be up under some dude. For real, give me my space.
And thanks for the reminder: I don’t trust nunna ya’ll! *points at all men*
Disclaimer: My honey LOVES me and my time spent with him!!!
I’m the one saying…not tonight, maybe tomorrow we can share a bed again.
What kills me is dudes “assume” women are the “clingy” ones when in all actuality, a lot of you male species are territorial and just as clingy (if not more). Let your woman tell you she can’t see you on two nights in a row because she has plans to have spa days and girls night with her friends….you’d be a little salty that you didn’t take priorty. Ya know? Make sense?
Believe it or not…after the first couple or so months of every day smothering…women do want their space.
I am sure Panama is illustrating his point through the use of the more extreme examples of his argument. However, when looking at the core of the theory…
*clears throat, whispers in small voice*
I have been this chick.
don’t feel too bad…you’re not alone.
EVERY chick is “that” chick.
Quote from the champ: “EVERY chick is “that” chick.”
Not sure WHO you been dealing with, but I can’t imagine you’ve dealt with EVERY woman in the world to say that every woman is that chick. Contrary…there a MANY women who are NOT that chick and don’t care to ever be that chick.
Generalizations are the worse. lol.
question: what does “that” chick mean to you?
Ya know, generalizations are the worst, however, I’m sticking with this one.
It’s held itself to be true on every conceivable occasion. And it’s not always in some negative manner either. However, facts are facts.
Sadatay.
Query:
How do generalizations come to be?
Just asking….
Men lie, women lie…numbers don’t.
*I just always wanted to say that*
I do aree with the theory because when we lie, we KNOW that we’re lieing. However, I have had numerous experiences with women who have really misrepresented themselves and stuck by their false, made-up selves until I actually call them on it. I hate it when some women claim to be “Drama-Free” when in actuality they are drama queens.
Yes Damnit! I admit it. We women are flawed. And yes sometimes when we see that you and I may have the potential to for greatness we may try our best to be on our best behavior. That isnt necessarily a misrepresenting of ourselves, we just know that once some guys see the slightest sign of imperfection they will head for the hills. Am I guilty of it? Probably so. Early on in a relationship I may cook for a dude on the regular basis, but once work & life in general picks up you will still be eating but baby it maybe Popeyes or Subway. I have things to do.
Am I the chick who smother’s her man? Hell NO! I suffer from OCS, Only Child Syndrome. I dont do well wtih sharing my space. So that is one thing a dude never has to worry about where I am concerned.
at the risk of sounding like an insolent 5 year old. You started it! LOL Sometimes women think they are game tight until they get caught up and THAT girl emerges, the one that we loathe..nagging, insecure, and illogical girl. Sometimes, we don’t think we have it in us until we become vulnerable to you PWP (people with penises), and you get all under our skin. It becomes quite the state of quandary. I think sometimes, that is why women say “I don’t like who I am with him”. It often shocks us just as much as you guys. So, I argue that sometimes, this behavior is the reaction to emotional nudity. Some of us hate it!
really Diva? “y’all started it?”
that’s the best you got?! LOL.
yeah, the diva’s slacking a bit. i’m slightly disappointed.
LOL, I hate you both *sticking tongue out*
I totally agree with this statement…
It just takes the wrong PWP (I love this term!), the wrong conditions, and the wrong time to have an otherwise confident and mature woman “flip the script” and unknowingly become the woman she originally thought she would never become.
See my problem with this is that it falls straight back to, women are just fine until a man comes into the picture and screws her up…
And um we ALL know that ain’t always the case. Add up the daddy issues and mommy issues and all the non-sense she picks up at home, etc. and then perhaps. But let’s not bullshit ourselves into really thinking women are fine until men ruin them.
Granted, I know that’s not what you’re saying in full Datalore, but it’s the next step.
LOL @ you predicting Datalore’s next step. reminds me of what Jill Scott said on her last album:
You have managed to turn me
From a woman of substance
Into a brick flying, calling too damn much
Crying and crying, spying way down down low
With flats on
From the opposite side of the bar
Easy-Off loaded on top of your car chick
I never intended to be this chick
Groping at smoke for her mind
Or the readily dissolving remnants of it
after being chased I’ve been dismissed
As just an object, something to play with
You have managed to turn me
From a woman of substance to this
now, of COURSE we have to take personal responsibility, not shirking that at ALL, at the same time, I felt the need to interject that sometimes it’s reactive to what happens in the dynamics of a really intense (probably unhealthy) relationship. We have all been there, and hopefully learned our lessons. Not to point blame, just shedding light on what goes on in our heads/hearts..we ain’t a fan of that shit either, trust.
Lady Jill is deep…
… and also CRAZY!
Throwing bricks? – too dangerous
Easy Off ? – that’s just wrong
I personally have never engaged in any stalker type activity that could get me arrested.
Maybe I just never met anybody I cared about that much?
ok , when I said we have all been there, I did’t mean literally THERE with the lyrics of throwing bricks/easy-offing property..but I have done my share of irrational shit, and I learned my lesson.Yup
I was being facetious. I would HOPE that none of the SASIWs up in here have taken Easy Off to some Brothas car…
There are far more devious ways to be vengeful that won’t involve the authorities… I’m not going to post ‘em cause revenge is NOT a good look people.
Everybody love everybody!
ooh wise diva, THAT’S IT EX-DAMN-ACTLY. i have nothing to add other than “i cosign WD.”
(and since i know i tend to morph into a needy a** broad in relationships, i am trying my best to avoid them.)
Is avoiding relationships really going to solve that problem?
Why not work on what makes you “needy”?
I agree, there is nothing worse about a person with issues than the idea that they can solve those issues by completely avoiding the situations that expose those issues. If you had a B.O. problem and people kept telling you that you stink, would you avoid those people or would you simply wash your ass?
don’t folks advise recovering drug addicts to avoid people and situations that might make ‘em fire up the ol’ crack pipe?
seems like a similar concept to me.
Yeah but they’re also supposed to be working on the reason for their addictions…
Going cold turkey isn’t really effective if the minute your in that situation again, you revert back to your old ways…
and if i never get in that situation again, i won’t revert.
perhaps it doesn’t “solve” the problem. but it does keep it from recurring, which is fine by me.
The beautiful part of it all is that we need each other… It’s just that men as well as women have very strange ways of expressing that need. The first step is admitting that the need does in fact exist.
“The beautiful part of it all is that we need each other”
lol…depending on your world view, any adjective from “best” to “crazy” to “worst” could be used in this sentence before “part”.
personally, i would have used “heavy”
“women ACTUALLY think they are the people they say they are”
Maybe this is because many women at some stage of their lives (sadly, some never grow out of it) feel the need to be the woman they think the man they’re with wants… i.e. NOT HER!
And, although two wrongs (his millionaire status, her easy-going nature) don’t make a right and the whole decietful game is really just for fools, it serves men right, to be honest.
I mean, how many men claim to want a strong, independent woman… but really don’t? How else would you accont for the number of actual smart, attractive, strong, independent women out there who are single!? Huh?!
Admit it, men love the needy, clingy chicks that make them feel like they’re the centre of her universe.
What else would you have to blog about if there weren’t needy women in the world? Maybe strong, independent b!tch3s who won’t give a ‘millionaire’ a chance…
“I mean, how many men claim to want a strong, independent woman… but really don’t? How else would you accont for the number of actual smart, attractive, strong, independent women out there who are single!? Huh?!”
Here, here! *raises glass*
I’ll toast to that.
To play devil’s advocate, a lot of independent women don’t know how to be strong and independent without being dominant in the relationship.
And men like to be men. I’m not saying women have to bow down but we can bow out and let him play his role.
I call bullshit on this one. A lot of men truly say they want one thing, but then when they find it, don’t know what to do with it, or actualy do not want it.
i call bullshit on your bullshit.
The same could be said of the fairer sex.
But surely ‘role-playing’ is the problem!
Just ‘BE’ and let everyone else be! The sooner we all wake up to this, the better we might all get along.
Well, to throw some proverbial fuel on the fire, this statement:
“I mean, how many men claim to want a strong, independent woman… but really don’t? How else would you accont for the number of actual smart, attractive, strong, independent women out there who are single!? Huh?!”
Might this NOT give credence to the original point? If these women ACTUALLY showed up to be who they thought they were and claimed to be, i.e. smart, strong, independent women, then maybe they’d have men now. Perhaps, the man thought he was getting a partner in crime when all he really got was a daughter.
And no, a lot of us don’t really want clingy needy chicks. What I think happens is that chick-goes-clingy, then she tries to flip the script at some point which causes confusion and then somebody has to die.
OJ!!!! OJ!!!!!
Uh… yeah, no. nobody wants a “saran wrap” chick but some men and I stress some men do like the ego stroking they get from feeling needed.
There are plenty of men out there that want a chick that they have to rescue and/or take care of. I’m not saying this is a healthy relationship, but we do need to acknowledge its existence.
Oh, per-leez!
Most men seem to have some special radar that detects women pretending to be smart, strong and independent. When an actual smart, strong, independent woman actually crosses their path, they usually cross the street to escape and/or observe from a distance…
Or just want to be friends. That way, he gets to at least have some kind of relationship with an actual SSIW and can also seek her female perspective on the faux SSIWs he keeps dating.
Ask any SSIW you know personally or on this blog if she doesn’t know all about her best male friends faux SSIWs.
And so why isn’t he dating her…? Maybe becuase he prefers his women a little more insecure and maybe becuase, once he’s shown her just how much of a sucker he is for the wannabe SSIWs he feels too vulernable to be anything more than just friends.
And you KNOW that’s true! Kind of ties in with The Champ’s platonic friends post.
Re: why isn’t he dating her?
I absofrickinlutely agree. And for this I blame women. I’ve run into more women who don’t want to ruin their friendship than I have men. In fact, I’d be if we did a straw poll of men vs. women in this regard, way more men would be willing to try dating one of their friends.
OK so we at least agree on one thing. I’ve recently come to realise that I guys I’ve previously only held as friends are the most sensible source for date/relationship fodder and should be the first port of call.
Of course, being a SASIW they’ve confided in, they’re now scared sh!tless of me!
Um, not sure how this came to be up here. I was replying to your comment about fucking our friends…
Not sure how that happened. No matter how good of friends you are with a girl, you never give up anything that would scare you if the tables were ever to be turned. Your guy friends are slipping!
The word intimidation comes to mind.
SSIW tend to let everyone know that they’re SSIWs and it can be a little “put off”ish…
And it goes along to what The Champ said about being “frapproachable” – still LMAO at that…
Only insecure people get so easily intimidated by a woman who just happens to be SSI.
Society is always quick to lable SASIWs as b!tches and so, consequently, most people are quick to jump to this conclusion, rather than take every SASIW on a case by case basis.
Wendilicious,
Some SASIWs are bitches. And those are usually the vocal ones. So you can’t really blame society for that one.
And face facts it’s just a whole lot easier to generalize people that it is to deal with them as individuals – that’s just the truth.
But my point is this a lot of SASIWs list their “resume” when they first a man.
if you are truly a SASIW, it will show in your character.
*when they first meet a man
exsqueeze me
“How else would you accont for the number of actual smart, attractive, strong, independent women out there who are single!? Huh?!”
i have at least 25,000 words worth of answers to this one, but, for the sake of time, i will say this:
out of those four adjectives you named, for men, the highest premium is based on one of them. (hint, it starts with “a” and rhymes with “matractive”)
depending on your attitude and/or disposition, those other adjectives named can either enhance or take away from that “a” word, which, along with another “a” word (rhymes with “frapproachable”), are really the only adjectives that count.
is this making any sense?
LMAO
OK, I’m officially replacing SSIW with SASIW to incorporate the word that rhymes with “mattractive.”
Wow, that I could even leave it out, especially when I’m the one who listed the adjectives originally, just goes to show how men and women are on different wave lengths sometimes.
And I could also add “frapproachable” to my original list. Most men are scared sh!tless of “frapproachable” women because they think it’s too good to be true and so leave it alone.
And yeah, you almost make sense, though I’ll hold out for the 25,000 word I’m sure will appear on this blog in the near future.
“And so why isn’t he dating her…?”
“Wow, that I could even leave it out, especially when I’m the one who listed the adjectives originally, just goes to show how men and women are on different wave lengths sometimes.”
you just answered your own question
Men aren’t scared shitless of un-frapproachable chicks.
We’re scared shitless of women who look like they bite trees for fun.
Read again, hun. I said “frapproachable” not “un-frappoachable” women.
So I guess you’re agreeing with me that men ARE afraid/wary of “frapproachable” women because they think it’s too good to be true.
Actually, I’ll agree with you that I can’t read. But you know what I meant.
We’re not scared of frapproachable chicks.
Maybe she just didn’t know she’d like you so much. Maybe you’re just so awesome that the urge to be with you every waking moment is just overwhelming. Maybe you’re dicking her down that good…
Honestly, I can’t say I haven’t done it either. But I think like everything else about relationships, it’s something you have to grow through.
(You like how I said “grow through” in place of “go through, don’t you. I know. *sings Cleva*)
We all try to hide the “crazy” at one point or another. I think women are perceived to do it more because men don’t think anything they do is remotely unusual.
But you will eventually get to a point where you won’t even bother pretending.
*Note: Another thing women do is hide the fact that some of the things men do drives them batshit crazy. Which is a very big no-no. You can recognize these things because they are usually the first things mentioned in a heated argument.
After reviewing the supporting proof, I can not 100% agree with Panama’s Theorem 1.1. “Most women aren’t who they say they are when you begin dating them.”
I’m gonna jump out there and say that Theorem 1.1 is too extreme. (I’m now ducking under my desk to avoid imminent male attackers.) If the women you date weren’t who they said they were, I’m guessing you would stop dating them. Hey, I’ve dated a man that presented himself as a Justice Department manager…truth…he managed to deliver packages to the Justice Department mailroom, on a scooter. He was not who he presented…he had to go.
I will say that it is possible that there could be a few things that are not how they were originally presented to you through batted eyelashes…but these women are largely the same people. If they aren’t, you shouldn’t be with them.
Ok, I will admit, the majority of the time, I was the woman who wanted her space…97% of the time I was the woman who said wow, do I really need to see you two nights in a row? Don’t you have some friends to hang out with?
This was all until I met someone that actually didn’t get on my nerves. Lol I continue to be amazed that I can spend so much time with one man. Did I originally tell him I was a woman who likes my space…sure. I still do and I feel I still get my space. Plus, he wants to be around me as much as I am around, or so he says. Hmm, maybe he is misrepresenting himself. I will have to have that conversation later.
Person before love – Smart, successful, fun woman who loves a lot of her own space
Person after love – Smart, successful, fun woman who still enjoys her space but also enjoys spending a lot of time with her love.
See, same person…just a little change.
Ok PWP (I love that term too), I’m armed and ready…you can attack now…
I think we need to address how important this is because it leads into another conversation about why men AND women stay in relationships with people they wouldn’t be friends with.
You know the solution to this is very clear. We should fuck our friends.
“You know the solution to this is very clear. We should fuck our friends.”
Now that is indeed true. It’s the smartest and safest bet you can make. I actually think this was on the planned list of topics…cuz it’s SO relevant.
“It worked for me!”
-I sound like an infomercial.
But it’s true… Granted I took forever to come around but I’m glad I did.
I co-sign that. I think we need a T-shirt.
would the T-Shirt read, “I fucked my friend. Try it! It worked for me it could work for you.”
(Front)
Fuck Your Friends
(Back)
It worked for me!
We’ll have to work on a screen of some sort. A t-shirt just isn’t a t-shirt without graphics
LMAO! I love it, the double entendre and all
it took me a couple seconds longer than usual to catch the double entendre. maybe i need to stop drinking wine at lunch
(front) Once you go friend,
(back) You’ll never stray again
Okay. I’ve come across way too many men who did this to me — whether or not it was all just for the pussy, or for the sake of securing a relationship, it doesn’t matter (and trust me, most of these men did it for the relationship as much as they did it for the boobies) — so I don’t even know what to say. You’re generalizing a human thing and trying to say only women do it.
Well…duh. LOL. Nobody argues when people make valid points that have solid substantiation.
you know, i’m thinking “PWP” may not be the best acroymn for you all to use because if you just substitute penises for, ummmm, well, you know (starts with “p” and rhymes with “zussies”), it could very easily be describing a woman as well
Just when I fall in love with PWP, you go and ruin it for me. lol
PWP regardless is you use penis or pussy can still apply for a man. just putting that out there,
…or a woman
One of the few things I agree about in your post: Men are basically evil when it comes to procuring nudity.
Apparently you’ve been dealing with the wrong women–ALL women don’t fit into the category. If I tell a man XYZ, you best believe it’s XYZ. Maybe its because I’m too old to play those type of games; don’t know; but it is what it is.
You’re right and we definitely should do a post on what old chicks bring to the game!
LMAO…that’s just a joke since I clearly have no clue how old you are.
I’d like to go on record with the fact that I used the worst “most” in my theorem.
We definitely should do a post on what old chicks bring to the game!
Panama…no offense taken, I’m proud and blessed to be 39 and it does sound like another blog post…I might have to do that one next week.
Did you guys just change the layout or did I just entered the twilight zone…
twilight zone.
*snicker*
Truer words have never been spoken. I find women will tell you up and down about how their the greatest and are quick to deny any bad things on their part, but its never true.
The most common one I hear is “I’m (or was) the perfect girlfriend.” but scratching a little beneath the surface shows trends of jealously, neediness, and all the classics. Damn shame …
Wow… Somebody’s brooding…
What are “the classics”?
Ah yes … the classics. The “stereotypes” (I use quotes because their mostly true) that most men have complained about and are often heard in the barbershop. Complaints of neediness, nagging, jealousy, and all that good stuff.
Consult your nearest male barber for a more complete list.
I thought this was my local “barbershop”.
*raising hand*
What happened to the layout? I mean…yellow is nice and all…
I knew it couldn’t have been just me.
along with providing the sexy, verysmartbrothas.com also likes to perform random psychological experiments on its readers
make sure they are legal.
i guess we’ve entered the “every comment is a potential double entendre” point of the day
well if Panama’s theory holds true, do men think that women should go around advertising the fact that they are actually low self-esteem having chicks, with some crazy in them? Like would that really get me laid (just asking?)
I guess my point is if “Most women aren’t who they say they are when you begin dating them” kind of implies that a man’s perception of who we are trumps our own – am I overanalyzing here?
Wise Diva,
I think we’re missing the point that men think most women are a little crazy anyway. Hiding just makes it worse.
And no you’re not overanalyzing, you’re just thinking like a woman.
“And no you’re not overanalyzing, you’re just thinking like a woman.”
this could be a t-shirt too
I’m starting to think I’m in the wrong business…
Hmmm I dunno SB’s, I think Im pretty self aware and honest with my shit…..and I dont mind being called out on it when and if I do otherwise. So Im feeling sorta ify about this subject at hand.
You know why we misrepresent ourselves…In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH” (Col Jessep from A Few Good Men). Its why push up bras and makeup was invented. Because for the most part. You don’t want to know the truth.
Maybe we don’t want to know the “truth” but sure as hell want to know some semblance of your reality.
That’s actually a good segue into tomorrow’s post which is going to bring the pain like Method Man in the mid-90s.
… let’s go inside my astral plane…
and, push up bras are evil. i wrote an entire post about this some years ago about the intentional deception that is the push up bra.
if you show up as a C-cup and leave as an A…just don’t even call back. Your inflationary tactic is not appreciated!
You have no idea how many men I have not dated a second time because they could not handle the truth. And nothing crazy or drama filled, just plain this is where Im going and would like to be, and I need you to be a man and in control, “Can you hang”? I guess their answer is “NO!” So never mind the dumb I cry for no reason the day before my period, or I can cook but don’t, and walk around my house in flip flops and tee shirts with my hair up… I can understand your thinking that some women tend to misinterpret who they are innately. I can not speak for other women, I know I do my darnedest to not misrepresent who I am, like I have said before in part because I dont have time for the B.S.
misinterpret should be misrepresent
AND…a-ha…you admit it. yall misrepresent y’allselves.
Hmm…is y’allselves not the most country word ever? I mean really.
ok Country boy…I admit that there are women out there that do so and set out to do so, but I think that for the most part most women do not. It’s an evolving thing.
y’allselves IS quite ‘bama
2 years in the DMV and I still can’t get used to that term.
Ana,
Men may not want to know the WHOLE truth about who you are but being misleading about it is not a good look.
I mean I don’t ask where my food comes from but if you tell I’m eating chicken it damn well better be chicken…
I get that… Im not saying that I misrepresent who Iam.. I do understand that there are women out there that do that.
I know there are women out there that do misrepresent themselves, I however am not one of them. Maybe I am a little too forthright.
i tend to agree with panama and here’s why: most women will tell you that’s not me, i love my space, i’m independent, i won’t be clingy, blah blah.
but a lot of this conjecture and theorizing goes out the fucking window when you meet a man that makes your panties wet. and ya’ll get down with the get down. on. the. regular.
then we want to lock you down. even when the games on.
Now that’s what I’m talking about!
I don’t know about when the game is on though. I respect the sports. But if it’s not YOUR team, all bets are off…
see, this is why i don’t talk shyt when dating b/c i don’t want a man’s expections to be too high LOL.
LOLOLOL.. This is why I tell every new guy when that first sex conversation comes up..’Dude, you dont want to sleep with me. It will be a waste of your time. I am lazy and boring and you will be disappointed.’ But for some reason it seems to just make them try harder. LOL
I’m going to try that from now on.
Word. I’ve found that when you tell a dude your negative traits straight up, they act like you don’t mean what you said. Or they think they can change you. Like when I say. ” I’m a brat. I whine when things don’t go my way, and I’ll cry at the slightest offense. I have a hard time trusting people and relying on them when I need help, we leaves me often times isolating myself instead of seeking refuge and advice from the person I’m in a relationship with.” The biggest response I get is: “I can handle that, you just need a REAL MAN to help you grow out of that. ”
I mean, that kind of thinking is fine and dandy, but if you know in your heart of hearts that what you mean by being able to deal with it, is expecting me to suddenly change the minute we’re committed to each other, then you’re bound to be let down.
Bottom line is, as much as women front, men don’t want to hear about your flaws and negative traits up front, and when they do, depending upon how much they like you ( or want to sleep with you ) they’ll brush it aside.
Too much truth in one post. The mind, it shatters.
Co signing on “what the old chicks bring to the game” cuz..as a “old chick – 38″ I really dont have time to pretend and play games with men or anybody. I am what I am and I want what I want. If you can get down with that cool..if not..kick rocks!! lol
*Most* of the responses I see from the ladies are only reinforcing what Panama was saying. Most of y’all recognized yourself in this theorem and instantly went into the same defense. The woman that says”I am not like that” when she really is, is not different from the one that says “I am like this” when she really isn’t. There isn’t really a way to defend against this arguement because it is rooted in the subliminal. By Panama’s Theorem 1.1 you are all expected to say you are not like that because you THINK you are who you WISH you were. Even if you truly are not one of these women, it is futile to make an arguement, because that just makes you look like you are falling in line with the generalization. So just let this one go ladies. I know it’s hard, but I think this is one of the times when it is best for everyone to just accept that Panama (and all men everywhere) has finally got one on you that cannot be disproven.
my responses was not to refute the generalization per se, I wanted to offer insight into the “why” which, I am completely aware that some men don’t give two left nuts about, but still, I had to say it anyway, LOL
Gah. Old chick in the game post scares me. I am young. Don’t want to BE the old chick in the game but fear I WILL be lolol.
I ride with a lot of this, but I also think it’s subconcious. In your mind, you ARE a great cook. It’s just that this new recipie didn’t come out so well. You ARE athletic, it’s just that running isn’t really you. That’s why I don’t engage in a lot of “I tend to be a blah, blah” or “I’m the type of woman who wah, wah, wah.” Why don’t we just talk about music or film or poltics and you let me SHOW you what kind of woman I am?
C to A cup? That is just wrong! BWAHAHAHAH!
Re: the independent dynamic sister. Cats are just faking on us. Most men are “frightened by what they need” and “controlled by what they want”. They “recognize the light and can’t handle the glare” and many other song lyrics of relevance.
But what about when the last 10 recipes didn’t turn out so well? Or Running, walking, swimming , biking, volleyball, soccer, and basketball aren’t you? I know you weren’t being literal Sister, and i know there are exceptions to all rules, but my point is what about the ones who really don’t have any of the qualities they claim?
I’m agreeing! I’m just saying that the women aren’t usually trying to lie, they are describing who they think they are or who they want to be. Hence me saying I don’t like talking about myself that much, I rather show you.
Ok, I feel you. But if women every actually did show it, the Theory never would have been born.
* Tosses dreads, adjusts boobs and shimmys*
Well, honey, every woman ain’t me.
*Dramatic walk-off*
“Re: the independent dynamic sister. Cats are just faking on us. Most men are “frightened by what they need” and “controlled by what they want”. They “recognize the light and can’t handle the glare”…”
That was so on point.
As for me, I don’t like to talk about myself. I would rather you spend time with me and get to know me that way. I always hear “Oh, she’s mad cool” but never get the play from the guys that I want, they tend to go to the “women” that Panama described in the post. I think that it is too much realness at one time…
Well, I’m quite laid back in relationships, to the point of being indifferent. Always, in the beginning I am applauded for how easy going I am or how I have my own thing and am not the clingy type. HOWEVER, it always ends with me being the inconsiderate person in the relationship. Maybe everyone has that potential to flip the script and be that crazy person we didn’t want to portray ourselves to be. Maybe you realize you have a good thing and you can’t let go. You do everything possible to try to maintain. I haven’t met that brother yet to make me that crazy, needy woman. I hope I never will. I kinda like my cool.
I agree with a lot of what you said. Usually when you get an emotional prospect, people tend to “sell themselves”, which is usually exaggerating your good points, ignoring your bad ones, and pitching the possibility of what you could be one day.
Though I do stand by the fact that men usually aren’t trying to hear the bad stuff when you meet them. Men are guilty of idolizing their perception of a female they just met, as much as women do men that come into their lives.
of course, nobody (men or women) wants to hear bad stuff at first. i dont think p was trying to make that point. theres a difference between maybe glossing over some unfavorable qualities and completely fabricating good ones
This is hilarious! I’ll be back later. I’m far too sleepy. If I continue typing I might curse ya’ll out while throwing my bra at the screen… in protest.
* Tosses dreads, adjusts boobs and shimmys*
Well, honey, every woman ain’t me.
*Dramatic walk-off*
“Panama’s Theorem 1.1: Most women aren’t who they say they are when you begin dating them.”
If you put this on a t-shirt and sold it to the masses…I would cop like 30 and hand them out for free as that ish is the TRUTH!
LMAO!! This is TOTALLY true. Love Love Love the great observation!!
Relationships exist around mutual respect. I don’t want to hear any bullshit about men being prone to cheat and women not calling themselves out on their own baggage. Give respect, get respect, and the relationship will have a chance of being healthy.
Its almost like by saying men are assholes and shit of the sorts that it gives an excuse to cut up. No you cannot stereotype all men and no you cannot stereotype all women. Being an adult is all about knowing what your weaknesses are and growing from them…because you are working towards CHANGE….and for the better. If you are prone to cheat or act a fool in general, then maybe you need to invest that time back into yourself opposed to coupling up with another human being.
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