r-e-s-p-e-c-t (when the big piece of chicken aint enough)
slowly but surely, straight men have become american culture’s whipping boys. the scapegoats for everything that’s wrong with everything, we’re looked at as the ugly elephant in the room scratching his nuts with his forearms, reeking of axe body spray while downloading porn and drop kicking kittens like jack black in anchorman, and i’m sick and tired of it.
yeah, i know. we’re pretty much responsible for every war, the holocaust, slavery, rape, the inquisition, the murder of Christ and big l, and pink tims, but we’re not as bad as everyone makes us out to be. we’re people too, with feelings and sh*t, and we’re sick and tired of taking sh*t from everybody else.
today i will name three separate culprits. three sources of our unrelenting agony and pain. three completely unrelated ways that all contribute to our ridicule, and hopefully by recognizing these we’ll be able to make some changes.
1. SITCOMS
it’s no secret that i’m a huge fan of comedy. from arsenic and old lace to bingo long’s traveling all-stars and catch-22, i have a great appreciation for sh*t that can make people consistently laugh. this is why it pains me deep within my loins to see how thoroughly dissed males are in every sitcom. think about it, seemingly every popular sitcom revolves around the same basic premise: men are f*cking dumb as hell. unhealthy, simpleminded, and senseless nincompoops who’d be utterly useless without our hot and witty wives to balance our utter thimblebrainedness out.
now, before i continue, i want to let it be known that i’m not complaining about the hot and witty wife part. cheryl hines, and kelita smith can complain about me not taking out the garbage any day of the week with their milfy asses. i know this formula is used because nobody would watch a show revolving around an attractive guy and his witless, clumsy, and unattractive wife, but damn…throw us a f*ckin bone. would it hurt to show one of these men with a brain or a spine? would ratings really plummet if jim belushi didnt walk around with mustard stains on his chin for 23 minutes each week?
again though, please understand that i’m not complaining about the unproportionately good looking and witty women part. i want to make that as clear as possible. its not my dream to turn on cbs one day and see idris elba and niecy nash starring in “baby hair and her baby“. i’d just like a little equality here. not full, but just a little. a smigen.
2. THE TOILET SEAT
honestly, out of all the gripes women have about men, this confuses and infuriates me the most. can somebody please explain this to me? how lazy does it make a gender look when you universally complain about something which would take less than a second to rectify? plus, its been researched at harvard that leaving the toliet seat up actually improves the airflow in the room and has a positive effect on your immune system.
for those still griping about the callousness and inconsiderateness of leaving the seat up, just think of all the potentially objectionable things we do and put up with, and never complain about:
sleeping in the wet spot
eating the, ummm, you know.
***seriously, i enjoy doing it, but, you have to admit, the vagina is one of the most intimidating looking substances on the planet. imagine if you had never seen one before, and the earth was invaded by a bunch of 8 foot tall vagina monsters. you’re telling me that wouldnt scare the sh*t out of you? a bunch of drippy, stretchy, flappy, leaky, multi-colored beings that spit random red substances at their whim? spielberg or eli roth couldnt even dream of something more frightening, but we still happily partake with our tongues a blazing and necks a crampin.***
kissing after fellatio
***someone, please tell me. what is it in your minds that triggers the thought “cool, i’ve just had my mouth on his meat for the past five and a half minutes…this would be a perfect time to kiss him!!! i’m sure he’s always been curious about the relish of semen, especially his own“? please, somebody, explain this to me***
four words: pantyhose in the sink
3. YOUR WEIGHT
from this point on, we will not take even a hint of blame anymore for the masochistic obsession you all have with your weight. it is finished.
of course, i know that women are judged to a different standard body-wise than we are, and i do realize that for many women, self-image/attractiveness and percieved self-worth have a direct correlation, but the only people who give a damn about a stretch mark on your boob or reserve hero worship for ultra-waifish chicks are gay men and other women. thats it. nobody else. we’re no longer to be blamed for anorexia, bulimia, siberia, rihanna, and any other eating related disease thats been invented in the past 25 years. its over.
this is a start. if these things can’t be rectified soon, we’re prepared to protest and boycott certainsh*t until our demands our met. i have a crew of n-words right behind me (insert phrase that rhymes with “go slowmo”) ready to follow my lead. be afraid, women. be very afraid.
—the champ
354 comments
I totally agree with you on the sitcoms. Anybody watched Every body loves Raymond??? It almost turned me off marriage!!!
For the toilet seat thing, I will even go one step further: who decided that the way it ought to be is down? The men can also be mad because women always leave the seat down! It’s a tad ridiculous, IMO.
So I’ll support the movement, as long as these two asides are kept on the list of negotiations:
- Eating, the ummm, you know.. &
- Kissing after fellatio… Come on, it’s sexy…
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:20 am}
“Kissing after fellatio… Come on, it’s sexy… :)”
i agree, but only if by “sexy” you mean “saddening”
[Reply]
jolie fatale {September 17th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
so what do you want her to do ? get up rinse out and come back?
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Peyso {September 17th, 2008 at 10:17 am}
I think there should be at least a five minute “cooling” period
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Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 11:20 am}
MAN LAW!
*bangs gavel*
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Deviant {September 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm}
I second
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:19 pm}
Dorian, Darling Dorian do me a favor~take that gavel and shove it…
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:47 am}
“so what do you want her to do ? get up rinse out and come back”
there are other parts of the body that can be kissed. its the shower towel theory, basically. you dont wipe your face directly after you wipe your ass, regardless of how “clean” you might be, right?
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Dom {September 17th, 2008 at 12:14 pm}
But its YOUR peen! I just dont get it. Most of the time its dudes who go in for the post-bj kiss anyway.
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miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 12:37 pm}
Exactly.
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Deviant {September 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm}
then kiss that dude. if the guy dont go for it dont do it. most guys dont like the taste of their own tool.
Fly Guy {September 17th, 2008 at 1:02 pm}
If dude is washing correctly and maintaining his cleanliness standards then there s/b no taste of tool.
- http://www.mrswagger.com
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm}
Thank you Fly Guy…ha!
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 1:30 pm}
Fly Guy teaches:
“If dude is washing correctly and maintaining his cleanliness standards then there s/b no taste of tool.”
i’m not saying i do or i dont kiss after. neither am i judging but dingy doot aside. is it ok if you tatse a lil pre-ejaculate in ur trap. (rhetorical) it may not be so FLY guy, if u taste a lil pre-cum on ur tongue. my ex had me on that pineapple juice to sweeten it up so if u taste a lil of that then u know its me. signature. (u are what u eat)
http://www.pimppimphooray.com
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm}
like i said before, i’m not worried about the “peen” as much as the “peen mustard”. i think i can honestly say that i wouldnt mind living my entire life without having to taste my own peen mustard.
[Reply]
Fly Guy {September 17th, 2008 at 6:52 pm}
LOL once you put it like that Champ, I agree. I’m not going in for a kiss after mustard has been guzzled down. I know a handful of cats who will go in for the kiss immediately after the mustard has been spit/swallowed and justify it with “well, its all mine so its cool.” Im just not there yet
AroundHarlem.com {September 17th, 2008 at 11:12 pm}
LOL @ its the shower towel theory, basically. you dont wipe your face directly after you wipe your ass, regardless of how “clean” you might be, right?
Actually, I use two separate things ……. LOL.
However, I do see the point you’re trying to make and I agree it should go both ways.
[Reply]
AroundHarlem.com {September 17th, 2008 at 3:37 pm}
“For the toilet seat thing, I will even go one step further: who decided that the way it ought to be is down? The men can also be mad because women always leave the seat down! It’s a tad ridiculous, IMO.”
I could care less about the toilet seat. I hope it gives me an edge in the dating pool …………. LOL.
[Reply]
***seriously, i enjoy doing it, but, you have to admit, the vagina is one of the most intimidating looking substances on the planet. imagine if you had never seen one before, and the earth was invaded by a bunch of 8 foot tall vagina monsters. you’re telling me that wouldnt scare the sh*t out of you? a bunch of drippy, stretchy, flappy, leaky, multi-colored beings that spit random red substances at their whim? spielberg or eli roth couldnt even dream of something more frightening, but we still happily partake with our tongues a blazing and necks a crampin.***
um…if anyone’s va jay jay is leaky and/or multi-colored, you need to get away from that very fast. unless thats what you like…A walking multi colored syphil-herpes death trap.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 8:51 am}
“um…if anyone’s va jay jay is leaky and/or multi-colored, you need to get away from that very fast. unless thats what you like…A walking multi colored syphil-herpes death trap.”
Really!!!lol
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:24 am}
“um…if anyone’s va jay jay is leaky and/or multi-colored, you need to get away from that very fast. unless thats what you like…A walking multi colored syphil-herpes death trap.”
mz. jenn and ms t, i have a good friend named “hyperbole” that i’d like you both to meet, because its obvious neither of you have ever met or heard of her.
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miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 9:45 am}
BOOOOOOO.
It’s a subject and a predicate.
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“be afraid, women. be very afraid.”
NOBODY IS SCARED OF YOU OR PANAMA’S ARMY OF BABY PANDAS…NOBODY!
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Mz.Jenn {September 17th, 2008 at 12:25 am}
lol…baby pandas
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:25 am}
please. i know all i hafta do to get you all verklempt is make a tiny AKA joke. you cant stand any heat, so get back in the kitchen.
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 9:53 am}
Signore Campeone, I already told you what I intend to do should the AKA bashing continue. You caught me at a weak moment yesterday, but I am regrouped so I say Bring it! I got you and your little dog too.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am}
my little dog?
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:20 pm}
reference to the Wizard of Oz/The Wiz
***smh***
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 4:34 pm}
“reference to the Wizard of Oz/The Wiz”
lol…somebody seems intent on dating themselves today
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PrettyBrownGirl {September 17th, 2008 at 4:39 pm}
What’s up w/you and the age-ist stuff, Champ? Was that AKA that hurt your feelings also in her mid-30’s?
I can’t keep letting you take jabs @ the 30+ crowd. You know you’re going to want somebody to vouch for you when you apply for your Club Card.
(Somebody has “mommy” issues. At least “big sister” issues. Hmph.)
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 4:47 pm}
“What’s up w/you and the age-ist stuff, Champ? Was that AKA that hurt your feelings also in her mid-30’s?”
everybody gets a jab from the champ, even old broads.
ok, ok…i’m sorry, lol. i couldnt pass that one up.
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 9:41 am}
hm they may be babys they may be pandas but by God they are bears and will debone you from the knee down.
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
first off, my baby panda will whip your baby panda’s a$$ 8 days out the week.
ol’ capital letter killer.
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:58 pm}
8 days? are you on a different calendar than the rest of us?
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call me a jerk, but um…i smell a reprint.
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Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 12:59 am}
Shots fired @ the Champ
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:27 am}
lol…shes right. this topic is 4 years old. it’s reprinted from my old website, with a ton of edits.
she’s still a hater though
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Ivy St. {September 17th, 2008 at 10:00 am}
*shocked and appalled* Not the CHAMP doing a repeat!
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Peyso {September 17th, 2008 at 10:20 am}
I hate to say it or sound like the hated “d*ckrider” but I must come to the champ’s defense. The champ can do as he pleases.
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am}
“I hate to say it or sound like the hated “d*ckrider” but I must come to the champ’s defense. The champ can do as he pleases.”
thanks and sh*t and reminding everyone, peyso
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The Comeback Girl {September 17th, 2008 at 9:34 am}
dam@n FOUR years???!!!!????
something is bound to be reinspired or reappropriated or remixed…just a tad…don’t you think so Miss Patterson?
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
i’m with you comeback…i’ve done it too…all the cool kids do it in fact.
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The Comeback Girl {September 17th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
P let the record show that that inspired thought I had at 9:34 EST came from a most sacred space across the street, with green aprons, cute baristas, and liquid crack steamed to a heavenly 180 degrees.
viva la Starbucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:36 am}
viva deez.
everytime you mention “the Man”, i shall mention deez.
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The Comeback Girl {September 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am}
coffee globalization is what keeps the world markets afloat.
The world’s great depression, will never happen because I had a latte, for real!!!
so……viva deez ovaries.
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 11:10 am}
you do realize that adding any word after “…deez” (aside from ‘nuts’) renders it less entertaining. woosah.
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:53 am}
“viva deez ovaries”
this is actually the title of the spanish version of the vagina monologues.
The Comeback Girl {September 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm}
“this is actually the title of the spanish version of the vagina monologues.”
…so if you had a vagina Champ…and that vagina was a tree, what kind of tree would your vagina be.
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 1:33 pm}
“…so if you had a vagina Champ…and that vagina was a tree, what kind of tree would your vagina be.”
hmmm…have you been in the corner yet?
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:23 pm}
…so if you had a vagina Champ…and that vagina was a tree, what kind of tree would your vagina be
LMAO!!!!
this tickled me so
Dom {September 17th, 2008 at 3:51 pm}
Pan, Now you can get the attire to match your favorite phrase!
http://www.thelifefiles.com/do-you-need-some-of-dz-nuts/#comments
[Reply]
Monk {September 18th, 2008 at 7:07 am}
Nothing’s wrong with a remix err’y now and then.
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“someone, please tell me. what is it in your minds that triggers the thought “cool, i’ve just had my mouth on his meat for the past five and a half minutes…this would be a perfect time to kiss him!!! ”
Well my sweet dear Campion, if its clean enough for our mouths why would you have a problem putting your mouth on ours? I mean you are clean, right? You bathe everyday, right? You wash your nuts, right? and sometimes more than once a day. So what is the problem?
Is it a little too salty for you?
Have some toast~ get back to me
[Reply]
Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 1:00 am}
This logic is ridiculous your honor. I demand the defense’s case be thrown out and immediatedly sentenced to 1000’s hours of community servicing me.
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 1:03 am}
“sentenced to 1000’s hours of community servicing me.”
Only in your dreams DG! Only in your wildest DREAMS!
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Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 1:35 am}
LOL
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puff {September 17th, 2008 at 1:08 am}
i’m gonna agree with the intellectual hedonist on this one. also my current - ahem - jumpoff is the one who initiates the kissing after getting some, so unless i just found an extra freaky dude, i don’t see nothing wrong….
…with a little tongue and grind.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 1:15 am}
***Wednesday Evening Bible Study, 7pm Ebenezer Baptist Church***
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Sister Toldja {September 17th, 2008 at 2:25 am}
Yay’men!
Seriously, we are adults having a shared experience. I wouldn’t hold the ejaculate in my mouth and kiss you before swallowing, but if you can kiss me right after you bless me, I can do the same.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:30 am}
“I wouldn’t hold the ejaculate in my mouth and kiss you before swallowing”
well, this is the key. sure, if you wanna take the time to gargle and swallow, then its all good. i’m referring to the seeded tongue kiss.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 9:44 am}
It’s called snowballing Champ (I had an internship @ a steel mill where they speak spanish, swearing, and dirty jokes) **shudders in disgust** Sometimes I wish I had someone to warn me like in old school “earmuffs” $@#$#%@@#4
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:55 am}
“It’s called snowballing Champ”
thats information i wish i could unlearn
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 12:37 pm}
I know earmuffs right? I apologize but after I learned what a strawberry shortcake was in ‘the aristocrats’ and that internship I’m numb.
Ivy St. {September 17th, 2008 at 9:55 am}
LMAO!! I’ll be there! Maybe we should save a seat for the CHAMP.
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
he might need a whole row for himself
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“sleeping in the wet spot”
LOL, I aint sleeping in no wetspot, that’s is a mans god given right!
right after “eating the, ummm, you know.”
“from this point on, we will not take even a hint of blame anymore for the masochistic obsession you all have with your weight. it is finished.”
I Understand where these women are coming from, I myself am 2 secure in myself to give a monkeys a** about my weight, but I’ve met men (straight men) who have a weight requirement…or limit should I say.
[Reply]
Leila {September 17th, 2008 at 1:00 am}
“I’ve met men (straight men) who have a weight requirement”
This is one area where white women have it tough because I’ve met a lot who said that their boyfriend/husband will leave them if they put on weight.
[Reply]
Dope Fiend {September 17th, 2008 at 1:26 am}
Yo, I am Queen Nefertiti reincarnated…as black as they come!
But I was talking about BREDDAS! Not some snowball dudes and their snowball counterparts…breddas, are talking about…she’s kinda “big”, “chunky”, “she looks like she likes food more than me”, etc. And these same breddas telling wifey she need’s to go gym on a daily basis.
When it comes down to it, most breddas are all about the big bootyd, small waisted female, with model legs and a pretty face.
Look no further than their bedroom walls/screen savers/secret porn selection.
[Reply]
Shay-d-lady {September 17th, 2008 at 3:09 am}
This is one area where white women have it tough because I’ve met a lot who said that their boyfriend/husband will leave them if they put on weight.
yeah I have a co worker whose husbnd recently told her she had to lose 30 pounds because he no longer found her attractive and would either leave her or cheat… I was like “WHAT” now this bytch at work on dexatrim, phentermine, and drinking slim fast nervous as a mutha fugga shakin and shyt waiting to go off, like a ticking time bomb…
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Shelia {September 17th, 2008 at 5:22 am}
“now this bytch at work on dexatrim, phentermine, and drinking slim fast nervous as a mutha fugga shakin and shyt waiting to go off, like a ticking time bomb…”
Dang. I feel sorry for her—at the rate she’s going, she’s going to kill herself and then he’s going to end up with someone else anyway.
[Reply]
No More Heroes {September 17th, 2008 at 9:31 am}
That may have been his plan all along.
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Dope Fiend {September 17th, 2008 at 9:45 am}
haha, STILL!
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miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 8:52 am}
This is a throat punch situation.
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Naturally Alise {September 17th, 2008 at 10:16 am}
*cosign*definitely a vocal chord assault situation…
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:15 am}
“yeah I have a co worker whose husband recently told her she had to lose 30 pounds because he no longer found her attractive and would either leave her or cheat”
now that’s a man who knows what he wants!
*looking around at trove of women staring daggers at me*
what??
[Reply]
Monk {September 18th, 2008 at 7:12 am}
Yeah, I see nothing wrong with this.
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:38 am}
“but I’ve met men (straight men) who have a weight requirement…or limit should I say.”
two things:
1. any guy that approaches and bags a woman, and then complains how she looks later on is a closet ***starts with “q” and rhymes with “beer”***
2. at the same time though, i can understand a person, male or female, being upset if their significant other gained (or lost) 60 pounds within six months of them being together. thats a broach of the implicit relationship contract everybody signs when you’re first together.
[Reply]
Ivy St. {September 17th, 2008 at 10:07 am}
Do expound a bit on this contract. Are there exceptions to this contract? Isn’t being in a relationship about inner growth just as much as physical or the lack there of in this case. Thats why a lot of women are so stuck on their weight. I’ve seen in many cases where women stay the same and the husband gains a gut. Isn’t this against the contract?!?!
[Reply]
Peyso {September 17th, 2008 at 10:25 am}
“I’ve seen in many cases where women stay the same and the husband gains a gut. Isn’t this against the contract?!?!”
I think this is against the contract. I’ve seen it too. I feel like if I go to the gym to keep in decent shape you should too.
[Reply]
Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
Nah it doesn’t work against us like that. This is one instance where the double standard works in our favor because as we gain weight it just means we have to make more money.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:32 am}
**blowing you a kiss**
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Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am}
Thank you boo
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm}
@ Dorian G~
**taking my kiss back**
I’m nobody’s “BOO”
I abhor that term
**walking away disgusted**
Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 2:39 pm}
I tried my best and I failed miserably, the lesson here: Never Try
- Homer Simpson
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:51 pm}
thank you would have been sufficient
Naturally Alise {September 17th, 2008 at 11:41 am}
Is there a wedding vow that goes “for richer and for poorer, for sickness and in health, for glutastic routundness and in shape” ?
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 11:51 am}
I think I’m gonna have that worked into my vows. Along with a bunch of other things…lol
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 11:58 am}
“Do expound a bit on this contract. Are there exceptions to this contract? I’ve seen in many cases where women stay the same and the husband gains a gut. Isn’t this against the contract?!?!”
you’re right. like redman, it goes both ways. it also does have a waiver for things that extreme sickness or pregnancy that could drastically alter your body. ninjas need to start reading the fine print and sh*t
[Reply]
“…straight men have become american culture’s whipping boys.”
Puh-leeze. This ain’t new. My white male friends been singing this ‘woe is the man’ song for, well since a long ass time ago. It’s so bad, they can’t even get enough straight-white-man points to fill up all the presidential candidate slots. Edwards knew his ass didn’t have a shot cus he wasn’t getting any legacy points for the whole white straight man thing.
Hush up all of y’all and go scratch, drink beer, and grunt!
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:54 am}
“Hush up all of y’all and go scratch, drink beer, and grunt!”
make me
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WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 2:59 pm}
giggle I love it when they think they are punnishing us. Shshshshsh they comin
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 18th, 2008 at 6:17 pm}
you are such a punk
[Reply]
“think about it, seemingly every popular sitcom revolves around the same basic premise: men are f*cking dumb as hell. ”
since the begining of time we women have also been type cast, either we are the smart non sexy chic, or the super hot dumb bimbo. I only need to point you in the direction of
Charlies Angels ~JILL (Farah Fawcett v. KELLY (Jaclyn Smith)
Gilligan’s Island ~ Maryanne (Dawn Wells) v. Ginger (Tina Louise)
Three’s Company ~ Janet (Joyce Dewitt) v. Chrissy (Suzanne Sommers)
all of these shows are the shows I grew up with, and these were the representations women on tv. Welcome to our world!
I blame Aaron Spelling and Merv Griffin
Damn if I didnt just date myself
time to go to bed
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:55 am}
so its my fault you picked the wrong decade to grow up in?
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:17 am}
ouch.
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:23 am}
yeah cause if you and P can blame Jim Jones for errrthing I can blame you that on a cool August afternoon in 1971 my mom decided to give some to my dad cause he left the toilet seat down. It’s all YOUR fault!
[Reply]
Peyso {September 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
LOLOLOL @ “decided to give some to my dad cause he left the toilet seat down. “
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:40 am}
but Jim Jones is at fault for everything. this is scientific fact backed up by 8 morehouse professors, three harvard professors and one scientologist celebrity. we tried to get some howard professors in on this, but they were too busy trying to figure out exactly what a freakey zeeky was.
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The revoluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttiiiiiiiiiiiioooonnnnnn will NOT be blogged!
*Throws up powerful straight man fist and bows head*
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Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 1:04 am}
LMAO!!!!
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Dope Fiend {September 17th, 2008 at 1:17 am}
hahaha! LOL
[Reply]
now that i’m done being a jerk, i will say this….i never looked at sitcoms as making men look bad as much as making women look bad. yes, the husbands are ignorant as all hell but the wives are usually nagging, too serious, and have temperamental libidos. but i do feel your pain Champ, they could make the men on these shows a little smarter and a little more sensitive.
secondly, i’ve never had a live-in so the toilet seat thing has yet to be a personal battle. i do however like the under part of the toilet seat to be clean because you all have terrible aim.
and weight…hmmm that one is tricky. it depends on if we’re talking about black men or white men. it also depends on if we’re talking about black men that went to Shadyside Academy (a mostly white prep school in the Burgh) or Westinghouse (one of the hoodest public school in the Burgh *ducking*). Typically, Black men don’t like chicken bones, they like meat. However, even within the confines of Black men’s definitions of ‘thick’ and their appeal to big booties, curvy thighs and tig ol’s i’ve seen a (straight) brother or 10 turn up his nose to stretch marks. in other words, i blame men. (lol)
And lastly, I’d like to add rappers to this list, if i may. I blame them for the trendiness of being corrupt, misogynist, callous, chauvinist, and contradictory. Why else would my underage cousins think it’s cool to call one of their female classmates a bytch for not putting out like a video ho, then threaten to cut someone for stepping to their sister for the same inappropriate behavior.
i realize i’m full of generalizations today. and to this i say, sue me.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:57 am}
“the wives are usually nagging, too serious, and have temperamental libidos”
…and this is a misrepresentation how?
[Reply]
miss patterson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:16 am}
See, this is why i dont like you Champ. smart @ss!
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 12:01 pm}
“See, this is why i dont like you Champ. smart @ss!”
by “don’t” you mean “really”, right?
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:18 am}
“And lastly, I’d like to add rappers to this list, if i may. I blame them for the trendiness of being corrupt, misogynist, callous, chauvinist, and contradictory. Why else would my underage cousins think it’s cool to call one of their female classmates a bytch for not putting out like a video ho, then threaten to cut someone for stepping to their sister for the same inappropriate behavior.”
hey hey, stop snitchin.
[Reply]
Monk {September 18th, 2008 at 7:21 am}
“And lastly, I’d like to add rappers to this list, if i may.”
We’re STILL blaming rappers for the behavior of other people?? I guess that never goes out of style, huh? I need to start tryin’ this shyt and see if it works.
“You’re honor, Ice-T and SugaFree provoked me to call that girl a bytch.”
Wonder if that’ll fly…
[Reply]
on your first point - i don’t watch sitcoms for their formulaic humour and stereotyping of characters which generally gets on my t*ts (will and grace is the only exception to this, but as none of the main characters are straight men, it doesn’t count).
and honestly, yes straight men are responsible for a lot of f**ked up sh*t. and yes, they pretty much get the best of everything. so it’s hard to feel sympathetic exactly, but take comfort in this: the boobies you see hoisted up in that victoria’s secret bra? done just for you. straight men get ragged on, but the vast majority of women still want your attention anyway.
– television sidenote: anyone watch the new episode of house? (mmmmm dr house could get it)
[Reply]
Dope Fiend {September 17th, 2008 at 1:28 am}
LOL! Dr House could definately get it, I was thinking bout that last night watching the promos.
I need to see that, still!
[Reply]
Shelia {September 17th, 2008 at 5:26 am}
Puff, House is an interesting show. His bed side manners aren’t good but that man can diagnois(excuse spelling)
an issue so fast.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 8:56 am}
– television sidenote: anyone watch the new episode of house? (mmmmm dr house could get it
He’s such an azzhole, but I find that attractive…lmao
Limping and all…lol
[Reply]
Lil'T {September 17th, 2008 at 9:22 am}
OMG! I thought I was the only one looking greasy at House - something about him weilding that cane is hella sexy. Ok, that may be t.m.i. - but y’all brought it up.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 9:58 am}
“OMG! I thought I was the only one looking greasy at House - something about him weilding that cane is hella sexy”
sounds like someone has granddaddy issues
[Reply]
puff {September 17th, 2008 at 10:47 am}
it’s the fact that i grew up watching all his english sh*t where he was this awkward, bumbling fellow and now he crossed the pond and got all cynical and moody and grew facial hair…
basically, he’s my boy next door who’s all grown and swexy now. and that cane seems like a mighty fun prop…
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:00 am}
“the boobies you see hoisted up in that victoria’s secret bra? done just for you.”
i’ll let panama tackle this, since he’s the resident wonderbra guru at vsb
[Reply]
PrettyBrownGirl {September 17th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
Oh my…I see nothing attractive about Dr. House. But then again, I am the one w/the crush on Tony Soprano, I guess I wouldn’t.
Ya’ll have fun w/the rude doctor. I’ll get my jollies w/the murderin’ mafioso.
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am}
“the boobies you see hoisted up in that victoria’s secret bra? ”
yeah, but what am i supposed to do when you unhoist them joints and i get punched downward by a wayward mammary gland that was being held upward against its will?
deception!!! deception!!!
GAMAWb
(grown a$$ men against wonderbras)
[Reply]
puff {September 17th, 2008 at 10:43 am}
yeah, but what am i supposed to do when you unhoist them joints and i get punched downward by a wayward mammary gland that was being held upward against its will?
thanks, i just choked on my water.
and for the record, i do not use a wonderbra - my joints do not require scaffolding/aerodynamic anti-gravity space technology to keep them upright, just gentle uplift and separation
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 12:02 pm}
hhhmmm **daydream grinning**
[Reply]
All in the Family was a great show (and I’m not white). Edith was witless, clumsy and unattractive. I’m not saying that Archie was a beau, but next time you run up on a re-run of the show, take a second and realize that it’s just the white version of Sanford and Son. Granted, Archie was depicted as an idiot in every single episode, but I’m just arguing the female part.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 8:57 am}
I love All In The Family…solid show.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:04 am}
all in the family might actually have been the most important show in the history of tv, especially when you consider the social and political ground it broke, as well as the numerous spin-offs it produced (including the jeffersons, and maude)
[Reply]
.
[Reply]
“seriously, i enjoy doing it, but, you have to admit, the vag!na is one of the most intimidating looking substances on the planet. imagine if you had never seen one before, and the earth was invaded by a bunch of 8 foot tall vag!na monsters. you’re telling me that wouldnt scare the sh*t out of you? “
And pen!ses look like cuddly teddy bears? Boy please. If a hoard of 8 foot d!ngal!ng monsters, invaded the earth with n*ts just a-swanging, we’d all be running for our lives.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 1:44 am}
dont forget to add the fact you have major forrest action going on around those boys (and by boys I mean NUTS). Cause though most men will complain if you don’t keep Valerie Vajay trimmed and neat they aren’t risking clipping on of the boys to keep themselves neatly landscaped.
Steven King should write a book about it
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:21 am}
Nah this screen play has Woody Allen written all over it.
[Reply]
Dom {September 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm}
Def. an Allen production. He already did “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask).” He might as well show his take on giant peen monsters attacking planet earth.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm}
and the Vaj sequel
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miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 8:57 am}
Really…ya’lls thangs ain’t cute neither.
[Reply]
eff yo couch {September 17th, 2008 at 9:13 am}
But a man that up keeps the trimming the ball sack regional area is labeled gay or a porn star
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 9:24 am}
I’m not saying full bald wax or anything, just some basic maintenance.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:06 am}
trim deez
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miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
hah!!!
That why the next chick you get with is gonna look like she’s got a gorilla in figure four thighlock…
hee-hee!!
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:19 am}
circa the evil kitten stare from the movie waiting. Frighteningly hilarious
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 12:03 pm}
“hah!!!
That why the next chick you get with is gonna look like she’s got a gorilla in figure four thighlock…
hee-hee!!”
i like gorillas
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:08 am}
thank you, I mean really when I gag it should be cause you (man) hit the nerve that sets off my gag reflex not because I have a hairball in my throat
**video safe for work**
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb2F-xAsDdw
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 10:13 am}
You feel me IH?! *daps*
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:25 am}
***soul sister dap to Miss T-lee***
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:41 am}
***soul sister dap to Miss T-lee***
is that giving dap to a chick while Bilal’s “soul sister” is playing?
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am}
“is that giving dap to a chick while Bilal’s “soul sister” is playing?”
This is funny…
kaliber {September 17th, 2008 at 1:03 pm}
me and my breakfast vanilla yogurt with granola: mad at that video! LOL
[Reply]
PrettyBrownGirl {September 17th, 2008 at 1:21 pm}
hair in my mouth during BJ=the most embarrassing PBG secksual experience.
At least I was married to the bamma @ the time. But still…manscape, please!!
[Reply]
kaliber {September 17th, 2008 at 10:46 am}
not at all — unless i am the lone representative of a contingent of women for that cause.
if i find myself in the ‘dome giving’ position and am confronted by all the foilage of the hundred acre wood beyond the zipper? Not.A.Good.Look.
(ugh. or smell)
one time *might* get away with just a warning but afterwards i’m inclined to say either you trim, i trim it for you or we all go to sleep. if its a choice between a tented sheet or me with pruning sheers vs his jewels — the clippers win.
if men perfer their women like pornstars why not reciprocate?
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 12:41 pm}
” hundred acre wood ”
Okay..I seriously just had to put my head down on my desk…lmao!!!
[Reply]
Naturally Alise {September 17th, 2008 at 12:45 pm}
All I could think about was Tigger bouncing his happy a$$ out of the “hundred acre wood”… I need a ventilator and quick!
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 1:48 pm}
Piglet!!!!
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 1:36 pm}
“if men perfer their women like pornstars why not reciprocate?”
who said this? i dont mind a little parm on the chicken, not at all
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 1:47 pm}
“parm on the chicken”
I gotta use this sometime this week…
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kaliber {September 17th, 2008 at 2:10 pm}
parm. on. thechicken.
i cant! omg
*falls dead* and would furthermore like to thank the academy.
with that i see someone being naughty w a whole raw scaly chicken doused with parmesan sake-out-of-the-green-can cheese.
**falls out again**
[Reply]
MsSula {September 17th, 2008 at 11:16 am}
Not at all gay or porn star.
There is nothing funny about choking on some stray curly strand of hair.
I promise.
[Reply]
8th Wonder {September 17th, 2008 at 11:56 am}
And by “ain’t cute” what we mean is “hella ugly”.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 12:42 pm}
ctfu
[Reply]
*getting up off my knees and deeply kissing “he that sleeps in the wet spot”*
I am a male advocate, so I will whole heartedly support this movement…it is about dayum time…but I would like to go on record as having voiced my extreme unreadiness and absolute abhorrence for this whole “anti-wet-spot-sleeing/post-dome-kissing” subculture you seem to have spawned here. I go on “lack of paycheck” leave for like a week and come back to check on you and THIS is what I come home to? (smh) my 2 points of contention are these:
wet-spot-itis: if you’re man enough to make your woman bring the “rain”, you shouldn’t mind sleeping in puddles…be proud of your accomplishment…honestly, I don’t mind switching places or snuggling together to avoid the spot altogether, but your absolute refusal to go the h3ll to sleep is a little, ok a lot, less than masculine…wet spot means you had sex…it’s one of those GOOD problems…get a towel, lay it in the bed and shuddafuggupni99a!
post-felatio frenching: I have NEVER heard (or read) such fooleywangedness in my life! I get men that can’t wait to kiss me, you know, after… and it’s always a deep, passionate, yomowfizmajikuhl type kiss…like a thank you for a job well done..lol…so enjoy my education, gimme some suga and shuddafuggupni99a!
(flashback) hmmm, speaking of which…I had a GREAT time earning extra special h3ll points Saturday…
but I digress…change that sh1t and I’m on board ahunnit percent..
**winks at “HTSITWS” and gets back to my “job”**
what? just cuz I don’t get a W-2 doesn’t mean I ain’t “putting in work”…lol… I kid, I kid… a little!
SI SE PUEDE!
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:09 am}
wet-spot-itis: if you’re man enough to make your woman bring the “rain”, you shouldn’t mind sleeping in puddles…be proud of your accomplishment…honestly, I don’t mind switching places or snuggling together to avoid the spot altogether, but your absolute refusal to go the h3ll to sleep is a little, ok a lot, less than masculine…wet spot means you had sex…it’s one of those GOOD problems…get a towel, lay it in the bed and shuddafuggupni99a!
see…i’m not complaining about the wet spot. the wet spot is fun, practically and ego-ly. i’m just saying that if we can do that without prompting, then ya’ll can deal with the damn toilet, thats all
[Reply]
Naturally Alise {September 17th, 2008 at 10:24 am}
return of the foolywang…. lol
[Reply]
Dom {September 17th, 2008 at 1:15 pm}
wet-spot-itis: if you’re man enough to make your woman bring the “rain”, you shouldn’t mind sleeping in puddles…be proud of your accomplishment…
LOL! Welcome back!
[Reply]
Waa waa. Men ruin the world, get all the privilges and then want to whine because TV makes them look silly. You sound like if a group of White men formed a group to protest the portrayl of the White man on Black sitcoms as White Mike and Bullethead. At the end of the day….advantage= y’all. Besides. we ARE smarter and if we could reign in our emotions long enough, we’d take over the word.
And the weight thing. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Men DEFINITELY have a lot to do with that!
PS- How do y’all end up with a wet spot during $ex? Is it from the rhythym method? Cause I always use condoms and have not experienced that. Sweaty sheets? Yes. Wet spot? No.
[Reply]
Master Sergeant Vernon Waters {September 17th, 2008 at 4:13 am}
Wet spot usually occurs when a woman’s vagina is highly lubricated…”the most beautifulest thing in this world”.
Props on the White Mike reference; I forgot about that character.
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 8:17 am}
Msgt V dub points out:
“Wet spot usually occurs when a woman’s vagina is highly lubricated…”the most beautifulest thing in this world”.
…is just like that. i get in ya. Keith Murray
yeh man!
[Reply]
Teacia {September 17th, 2008 at 9:23 am}
…that’s why you loving me, cause can’t nobody do it better. Keith Murray
[Reply]
miss t-lee {September 17th, 2008 at 9:00 am}
I gotta shout out your name MS Vernon Waters.
I love that movie.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
oh…and welcome and sh*t, msvw
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:11 am}
“Wet spot usually occurs when a woman’s vagina is highly lubricated…”the most beautifulest thing in this world”.”
***nodding head with silent and steady approval***
[Reply]
Peyso {September 17th, 2008 at 10:35 am}
I’ll show you how to get the wt spot……. lol jk.
*Only joking if you found it offensive* lol
[Reply]
Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 10:37 am}
No wonder you mad at men, you ain’t never got the wet spot treatment.
Its all so clear now…lol
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:40 am}
LMAO!
[Reply]
8th Wonder {September 17th, 2008 at 11:24 am}
Dorian kills me at least once a day, lol.
I can’t.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 12:03 pm}
“No wonder you mad at men, you ain’t never got the wet spot treatment.
Its all so clear now…lol”
***flatlining***
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 2:12 pm}
I told yall that bwyoy got a gift
[Reply]
Sister Toldja {September 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm}
Booo! I’ve had great floods of happiness from terrible men. I just don’t leave a wet spot. Is something wrong with me?
Chuckle.
Nah, I’m perfect.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 3:18 pm}
4 real show me
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 3:20 pm}
um yeah
———–> ***direction of time out chair***
you know where you need to go
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 3:33 pm}
Can I get a snack some cheetoos? flamin hots? Dreadnought IPA?
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 4:21 pm}
Time out means TIME OUT
no cheetos, no video ho’s, nothing. Sit in silence till someone, and by someone I mean me, tells you you can return
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 4:40 pm}
ummm…when are you and ms. p gonna really that you two don’t have any corner-sending power?
ya’ll are like the nieces at thanksgiving, who “help” with the meals by making cookies in your easy bake ovens
Dorian G. {September 17th, 2008 at 5:10 pm}
Chill son, don’t talk about my e-boo like that.
That was funny though lmao!
kaliber {September 17th, 2008 at 5:38 pm}
‘e-boo’! i love that… kinda like ‘work husband’
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 8:14 pm}
@Champ~you know what just like at Thanksgiving when the parents are out the room me and Miss P we handlin’ things around here. OK
Monk {September 18th, 2008 at 7:31 am}
Ouch.
[Reply]
@Toldja…in the corner, it has been my experience that “wet spot” is generated by the female explosion, not the male…I think it is typically a problem (if you can even call it that, lol) with “squirters”, g-spot 0rg@sms, and perhaps the occasional RKelly bed wetter…but that’s another blog altogether…lol
[Reply]
Teacia {September 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am}
“I think it is typically a problem (if you can even call it that, lol) with “squirters”, g-spot 0rg@sms,”
…consider me guilty as charged, however there is a SIMPLE remedy for the wet spot…a hand towel. yes i’ve been known to place a nice dry hand towel over the wet spot until it dries.
if said orgasm was massive(praying to sweet baby Jesus), then the full towel is brought into play.
either way wet spots are curable mishaps fellas…lol.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
and if by hand towel you really mean beach towel yeah count me in.
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:40 am}
Hedo says:
[to Tessh about dealing with wet spots] “and if by hand towel you really mean beach towel yeah count me in.”
is it like that Hedo? beach towel action? consistently? don’t play with me…. i am not to be f-ed with in this manner. tell me.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 12:00 pm}
even if she is playin I’m feelin more and more appreciated by the fantasy… I mean minute.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 2:35 pm}
once upon a time, I gave a quilted plastic lined mattress protector as a gift, to a man that I had been giving the business to. We laughed our a$$es off when he opened it. Then he promptly stripped the bed and it went to good use.
oh I’ve said too much
**walking away**
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 3:03 pm}
TAKE ME WITH YOU! oops did I type that aloud?
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 10:31 am}
Teesh u and that wet spot. don’t even worry about curing it, softness. i keep bath towels (not to be confrused with face towels) in a drawer next to the bed for such as this. ..and it aint nothing like feeling, seeing a wett spot thru panties. i thank the 30 yr. old Jesus and the baby Jesus for that. (bless me father for i have sinned) Lord knows i just wanna talk freaky nasty sexy right now until u wet urself. ur like a ripe plum about to burst and i jus wanna play so many salacious, lascivious, erotic, games right now. anticipate my love. don’t anticipate my love. exciting! calm urself. hmm…
thanks for the “appreciation day” even though yall may be doing it to later remind us how much yall do for us. and even with ur hopelessly romantic view of love and its youthful expectation. …and even though i dont usually have it for vertically challenged munchkins, i will always have a special place in my hard, just for you. big up to florida oranges and tangerines bursting with vitamin…
ok squirt back to ur mission.
luv u babe.
[Reply]
Teacia {September 17th, 2008 at 10:35 am}
that was disgustingly beautiful. *sobbing*
…you had me at “u and that wet spot.”
p.s. we’re not doing it to throw it up in your face later, a little optimism please. we’re doing cause we love you and sh*t…dang.
[Reply]
Teacia {September 17th, 2008 at 10:59 am}
“and even though i dont usually have it for vertically challenged munchkins”
…wait, did you just call me short?!?!? oooooh hell naw…naggas!
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:07 am}
Teesh recognizes:
“…wait, did you just call me short?!?!?”
talk of ur wettness was so gooood that u didn’t even recognize it. …and i’m sure ur so damp i wouldn’t even care. lol!
squeezably soft meets smooth and hard.
kiss urself
[Reply]
GOODENess {September 17th, 2008 at 4:52 pm}
ummmm….GK…I am short…you KNOW you love it…so retract your munchkins statement…lol…and I don’t even need to comment on the face towel vs beach towel discussion now do I?
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
damn. this entire comment is gonna make me get extra toast this morning.
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:25 am}
OR…get our site blocked in 38 countries and Guam.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:26 am}
did I miss something, is Guam not a country?
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:42 am}
nope, its just a US Territory. do da knowledge.
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:44 am}
IDK
thanks and ish
knowledge is power
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:02 am}
banned? i’ll get this site picked up by emerging superpowers and sovreign city states across the globe. sh*******t Jack!
Panama Jackson secretly known to some as Wiz Khalifa. get me the next video deal and we can break bread. this is my body, this is my blood…
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 11:33 am}
alien cultures just reported to have felt my vibrations on vsb in the next galaxy and the khan nebula. the khan is interstellar with it.
bout to hop in my u.f.o and get the f*ck outta dodge. what i care about ur whip and what u swerving. i didn’t even plan on doing this much posting. when i return from the ways of the wilds, we can debrief.
genius khan has left the galaxy…
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 12:05 pm}
“Panama Jackson secretly known to some as Wiz Khalifa”
PITTSBURGH STAND UP!!!
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 1:05 pm}
Wiz Khalifa effervescent.
genius khan evanescent…
[engages warp drive]
[Reply]
8th Wonder {September 17th, 2008 at 11:15 am}
If yall were gonna get blocked by the soft porn antics of GK, it would’a happened already.
No worries!
[Reply]
genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 1:08 pm}
Wondermous knows:
“…blocked by the soft porn antics of GK, it would’a happened already.
No worries!”
no worries indeed just wett panties. preferably of the sheer kind. puts u in a nice dress, feel good against ur skin for the pressin. the right time and place for the undressin and u can anticipate the stiffness of genius khan for the blessing…
luv u too 8th.
[Reply]
8th Wonder {September 17th, 2008 at 4:19 pm}
“luv u too 8th.”
Take the “too” out, and this would be accurate.
lol.
[Reply]
sisanda {September 18th, 2008 at 8:10 am}
“no worries indeed just wett panties. preferably of the sheer kind. puts u in a nice dress, feel good against ur skin for the pressin. the right time and place for the undressin and u can anticipate the stiffness of genius khan for the blessing…”
No u didn’t…**cough, cough**…That’s some good sh*t Mr Genius Kahn, respect to thee…but not the insidious kind, sensual sensibilty served to the boundries of corpius, blogg zion bows to thee VSB morpheous, red or blue condom gets you into the matrix, then to the matress where we can eternally trade trix…hahahaahah that was fun
[Reply]
WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
It’s making me glad I got up early for the chorizo n cheese omlet.
[Reply]
me and my husband have never argued about the toilet seat.. People really trip about this in real life?
[Reply]
Ivy St. {September 17th, 2008 at 9:59 am}
Yeah, who cares about the toilette seat?!? I don’t! just remember to clean up your shaving from around the sink and please NO TOOTHPASTE in the sink. Be a gentleman and clean up after yourself.
[Reply]
The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:17 am}
“please NO TOOTHPASTE in the sink. Be a gentleman and clean up after yourself. ;)”
this is a new one
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {September 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
not new, you must be one of the few that actually rinses the sink after he brushes his teef
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Monk {September 18th, 2008 at 7:40 am}
Separate bathrooms is a beautiful thing.
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Sitcom – to be honest it seemed like most of the sitcoms were in you guys favor. I have to admit I don’t watch a lot of the sitcoms that come on now because they don’t appeal to me. The only 30 minute sitcom I really watch is The Game on CW and I admit I do it because of the male eye-candy and the other shows—well they are lacking so I don’t watch them. The other shows that I actually do watch portray males as smart beings—you know like CSIs, Criminal Minds, The Unit & NCIS and I almost forgot House.
The Toilet Seat – there should be a compromise here (everybody just close the entire seat down…then everybody will be satisfied…lol); however in the middle of the night when a woman has to get up to use the bathroom and she’s half sleepy as is, the last thing she wants to do is sit down and almost fall in the white hole of a toilet seat—disgusting. That’s why some women complain about it being up.
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kamakula {September 17th, 2008 at 8:34 am}
If people are afraid of falling into toilet seats because they’re too lazy to put it down when half asleep, they shouldn’t complain about what happens when a half asleep guy is too lazy to put it up.
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WuDaMan {September 17th, 2008 at 9:51 am}
**sign language applause** coupled with **arsenio hall barking and fist pumping**
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Shelia {September 17th, 2008 at 11:24 am}
The truth is what it is. Some folks make it into a big deal.
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The Champ {September 17th, 2008 at 10:19 am}
“however in the middle of the night when a woman has to get up to use the bathroom and she’s half sleepy as is, the last thing she wants to do is sit down and almost fall in the white hole of a toilet seat—disgusting. That’s why some women complain about it being up.”
this is actually one of the relationship wonderlic tests. basically, if a woman is dumb enough to fall into the damn toilet, than she obviously isn’t worthy of a guaranteed contract
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:28 am}
and the chuuch said, ‘yay-men’
seriously, do none of you actually LOOK before you leap??
Shay asked if people argue about this, but hell i’m more surprised that women actually don’t pay any attention…
the hell do y’all do, walk backwards the whole way??
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Shelia {September 17th, 2008 at 11:26 am}
I can’t answer for all but you guys want to know why it’s a big deal–so I broke it down for you.
If you have brothers, you know to make sure the seat is down. Those habits are hard to break even when living by yourself.
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No More Heroes {September 17th, 2008 at 10:31 am}
Thats some BS anyway. When im sleep/drunk/both, and the toilet cover is down, i dont just start pissing all over it, i put it up, then proceed to piss in the trashcan next to it
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Panama Jackson {September 17th, 2008 at 10:43 am}
“i dont just start pissing all over it, i put it up, then proceed to piss in the trashcan next to it”
this made laugh so hard i had to close my office door. i laugh b/c its true.
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genius khan {September 17th, 2008 at 10:50 am}
No Mo recalls;
“When im sleep/drunk/both, and the toilet cover is down, i dont just start pissing all over it, i put it up, then proceed to piss in the trashcan next to it.”
(in a Denzell tone) my nig*a… so rebelious. …and nasty. my roommate used to do this overseas when he was drunk. i used to call him “the man with 12 brains”
salute!
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you are a fool everyday, even on Wednesdays.