On Friday, I possibly did one of the stupidest things I may have ever done in my life. I watched a 2:31 video clip of a photoshoot interview with Shawty Lo, Gucci Mane, and OJ Da Juiceman (watch at your own risk).
It was the most painful video I’ve ever watched in my entire life. OJ Da Juiceman? Well, he didn’t say more than 10 words during the entire clip and I’m almost sure that 9 of them were “aye!” I probably don’t need to explain to you how bad Gucci Mane and Shawty L-O were. Hell, their names are Gucci Mane and Shawty Lo.
Now being the thinker that I am, and since the subjects of the video were SO sparse on words (the actual interviewer seemed like he was pulling teeth trying to get ANYTHING out of the them) I started coming up with my own questions for them. In fact, my girlfriend and I came up with all kinds of questions for those dimbulbs. I mean hell, interviewing people can’t be that hard right? And if you have the right subjects, well all kinds of hilarity should ensue. So then I got to further thinking, if I could ask any rapper, celebrity, or ANYBODY any question, what would I ask.
Hmmmmmmmm…
OJ Da Juiceman…is it actually pronounced Juiceman or Ju-man? You see, much to my own detriment I can read and I’ve noticed that you spell it in a way that would imply that you pronounce the “-ce” part, yet I’ve never actually heard you say that out loud. I’d like some clarity on just how to pronounce your name, Mr. Im-From-Concentrate.
Also, just what in the f*ck does “booming” mean? In nearly every verse I’ve ever heard (and there have been at least 12 too many verses that I’ve heard of yours) you mention “booming”, yet context clues defy me so I actually have no clue what in the f*ck one does when one is “booming”. Is it similarly mispronounced (see: Juiceman) and really is “brooming” as in your sweeping away the rest of the haters in the game? Just wondering Mr. Juiceman…or Mr. Ju-man.
Jay-Z: Given that Beyonce seems to have the personality of a brick of cocaine, what exactly keeps you there? Looks fade over time hombre and I’d bet two weeks salary and some Crisco that she hasn’t read much in the past, oh, 27 years. I guess what I’m really asking is, what do you talk about?
Amerie: Has anybody ever told you that could actually sing before? No dis, but you generally sound like when it sings it hurts. In fact, when you sing, I’m often reminded of when I had pneumonia. That’s it, you sing you like your lungs hurt. And maybe that sounds good in Alaska…oh there I go judging again.
Gov. Mark Sanford: Did you ACTUALLY think that you were going to get away with skirting to the Argentinian countryside with a woman and telling everybody else that you went hiking or some such other sh*t? What were you really thinking? You can tell me, I’m just curious as to the general f*ckery that was going on in your mind.
Ciara: How is that you manage to look like both a little boy and a woman at the exact same time? Do you do it on purpose? I’ve always wondered about this, except when you shot the video for “Oh” because you looked great in that video.
Marion Barry: Do you have a personal scandal stopwatch or something? When it counts down to zero you know its time for you to do some other retarded sh*t? Oh, and how can I get in on this “never pay taxes but never go to jail” hustle you have going on?
Fruit -of-the-Loom Grapes: Do you ever wish you were the apple?
The Rest of the Jackson 5 (and Randy): Did you all ever honestly assess the fact that if not for Michael, you probably never would have made it out of Gary?
Blackademics: Which death would have been better career wise: Jay-Z after The Blueprint or Nas after Illmatic? Jay had more albums at that time but its the point where everybody knew him, but Nas is STILL viable because of Illmatic. Just wondering.
Mr. Big Stuff: Just who do you think you are?
Those are a just a few of the questions that I’d ask celebrities if I were to get the opportunity. What questions would you ask of celebrities of you could ask them anything under the sun and they were guaranteed to answer?
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
PS – Don’t forget to vote for us for the Black Weblog Awards (or nominate us…or whatever). I do believe this is the last week you can vote or nominate or whatever. We appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do so for the people. In fact, the people appreciate you. We, the people. On some Eagley Eye sh*t.
Also, if all goes well, we just might have something new and dope for you to partake of coming up very soon here at VSB. It looks promising. Then again, so did Mark Ensign’s marriage (and employment practices), and we all see how that one worked out.
Related posts:
- How to Answer Questions So That I’ll Never Call You.
- ole’ faithful: the people, places, and things that never disappoint us
- Ya Unnastand: Things Black Folks Do That White People Don’t Understand
- “Will you ask to bite my burger even if there’s still food on your plate?” and 5 More Crucial Questions Men Need to Start Asking Before We Decide to Commit
- kobe and me: why we root for people to fail
{ 371 comments… read them below or add one }
#imprisongucci Please make this a trending topic on twitter. The youth need to learn about accountability. T-shirts coming soon. Please also petition the Fulton County DA to keep dude in there as long as possible. I don’t want harm to come to Gucci. Just a little time so he can reflect and perhaps think about changing his behavior. Aye!
@Brandon St. Randy, OKAY!
@overit,
dam Brandon sound like a hater wishin jail on another man
@BLUNTBLAZER, I can deal with that. That’s one of the problems that plague black people. We have no standards. We accept and tolerate anything. We even celebrate degeneracy. And then we hide from responsibility by calling anyone who disagrees with us a “hater.” It is what it is. But at the end of the day, if you have a son, what do you want him to learn: That if he behaves irresponsible, there will be no consequences and people will glorify him? Or that he’s expected to behave like a responsible adult or people will shame him?
@Brandon St. Randy, seems like according to conflicting “celeb news reports” (of course this assumes that you think nicki minaj is a celeb) it seems your goal has been achieved.
or hasn’t been.
like i said, the news reports of gucci mane’s return to jail are conflicting. like a lil wayne verse set to mozart with a max roach drum break behind it…on a tuesday.
@Panama Jackson,
gucci lawyer said they workin it our gucci is free for now YEAAAAAAAH pu$$y lol thas my nig
OK, I have a feeling the comments are going to get good and ignant. This is probably the closest I’lll get to my dream of writing Vibe’s 20 Questions. A few of mine:
Soulja Boy Tell Em-What exactly are you supposed to be telling us?
TPain-Does the money really make looking…like that, easier to deal with?
Anthony Hamilton-What do you with all the donations people give you because they think you’re homeless? Please tell me you actually give it to the homeless. If not, rude. ps) LOVE your voice.
Ja Rule- When you think of your career, does the angel on your left whisper “its murdaaaaa”, and does it drive you crazy?
Miley Cyrus- Will you really holla @ Lil Wayne in 3 years?
I know I have more pressing questions, but they usually are born out of passion, like if I was watching that Juiceman (lmao @ Ju-man, shoulda asked him what he does for shabbatt dinner)video, I’d probably have a post out of it too.
@overit,
Soulja Boy Tell Em-What exactly are you supposed to be telling us?
lmao GOOMH etwin!!!!!! i soooo thought the same thing. like that lil niglet always talm bout some “soulja boy tell em” but aint really say nothin at all.
@Gem Possible,
co-sign
@overit,
Soulja Boy is telling us why he’s a swaggalicious coontastic bojangler. That is all.
@thismayconcernyou,
I love the wordplay here: “swaggalicious coontastic bojangler.”
Just made me swoon, you did.
@thismayconcernyou,
why the spaces it should be jus one complete word
@overit,
Soulja Boy is such a waste of what is actually a cute lil boy. So unfortunate.
@V.E.G., on that note, how is it rappers his age of back then managed to look and carry themselves like like grown men? Cats like Rakim, De La and Tribe were doing their first albums all 18 and 19, could have easily been like 25. Soulja Boy looks like he could still be in middle school.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
thats his target audience
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, that is true. when Chi Ali first hit the scene, he sounded like a 14 year old, but was acting like a grown man.
free chi ali.
@Panama Jackson, LOL, omg flashback. in elem school when people would say “who do you think you are” i’d always respond, “chi ali, a supastar”
@overit, LMBO. Great questions.
@overit, I heart you right now. Writing the 20 Questions was my dream too!
@Dorchester’s Daughter, apparently dreams deferred happen to VSB, lol.
@Dorchester’s Daughter, yeah, my dream used to be to be a world famous ventriloquist. i had to settle for this blog though.
@overit, do you ever wonder if Ja Rule wouldn’t REALLY like to do some actual physical harm to 50 Cent? for all intents and purposes, 50 took money out of Ja’s hands. Ja was on top of the world at one point…
not so much after 2003. like he went WAY down. like down down baby, yo’ street in a range rover down…
@Panama Jackson, lol, i don’t know if ja is that much of a thug, but i am sure that if 50 just happened to get hit by a bus, he wouldn’t be mad.
@overit,
“Soulja Boy Tell Em-What exactly are you supposed to be telling us? ”
LOL, I see this is a popular question. Hell, it’s truly a valid one. It ain’t our fault he’s such a conundrum.
@overit,
Not to be a stickler, but once again Lil Wayne didn’t tell Miley Cyrus to holla at him in 3 years, it was Mack Maine.
@Dorian G., LMAO, well you are a stickler, and forgive me for not being well versed on his ignorant verse rappin arse. make the necessary mental edits. thanks!
So you actually purposely saw that interview? Then you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Who do I have a question for??
The Virgin Mary
Simply put, I’d ask her, “Really?”
@Think Pretty Smart, This made my sleepy lil heart giggle immensely!!!
@Think Pretty Smart,
LMAO! Good one!
@Think Pretty Smart, i did watch that video on purpose. thing is, even now i’m baffled as to what i was expecting.
i did however expect SOMEBODY to talk. for rappers, they sure are short on words.
then again, and i suppose it bears repeating, it is gucci mane, oj da ju-man, and shawty lo. their raps are exercises in more is less. so i suppose it was a win-win-win actually.
must have been painful to be the one videotaping though.
the link has been included for anybody who has 2:31 seconds of their life they think they can give away.
@Think Pretty Smart, “Simply put, I’d ask her, “Really?””
She apparently got into a pool in Egypt and the rest is history…
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2525921/Teen-pregnant-after-swimming-in-pool.html
@Omar,
lol, I read that too and I was all, “Whaa?”. That was very apt, though. That’s probably what happened.
@Omar, Notice the mother said her daughter didn’t meet any boys. But what would the daughter say if we asked her?
@ThinkPrettySmart, ahhh… good point.
@Omar, i have to wonder if that’s even possible in the slightest. it sounds farfetched as all hell (much like the girl sleeping thru the 52 star-tatt00 on her face), but then again, i never thought Jodeci would break up either.
tell me y’all heard about the Nodeci tour…Jodeci minus K-Ci and Jojo. LOL. Shouldnt it just be De.
i guess Dalvin will finally get a chance to sing…or he can just still play the drums while DeVante…stands there?
how you gonna tour without the actual voices. lol.
@Panama Jackson, this WHOLE comment was ruined for me because all i see in my mind’s eye is that youtube video where jo jo just passed the hell out out on stage. i’m crying right now, its the funniest thing ever.
omg, if someone can find the link, i would appreciate it forever and ever.
lmao oh Peej you’ve tickled me with this post. 1st it was “Well, he didn’t say more than 10 words during the entire clip and I’m almost sure that 9 of them were “aye!” and then “is it actually pronounced Juiceman or Ju-man?” and lastly “Mr. Big Stuff: Just who do you think you are?”
that’s all i have to say for now lol. too busy wii bowling to focus on questions. it already took me 30min to read this ADHD infected post. be back later…
@Gem Possible, this post was WAY more coherent than other thigns i’ve written. im wonder if its you that has the ADHD.
me, I’m all HD.
and i’ll bet money i could whip your arse in wii bowling 6 ways from thursday.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL i never said it wasn’t coherent. but i prob do have ADHD. i cannot successfully multi-task for the life of me. and don’t let me be telling a story and then get interrupted or distracted–that story is gone.
and you prob could serve me in wii bowling. i’m not bad but i’m not good either lol.
Wood Harris…are you trying to build a career or ruin one? Your choices in roles befuddle me.
Lil’ Wayne please explain your face.
Teyana Taylor what are you famous for?
Superhead, why won’t you go away?
Tiny, exactly what are you injecting in your face? Why won’t you stop injecting it?
Tyra why do you judge people then try to steal their thunder? (She’s a classic one-upper)
Lil’ Mama, why? Is there no reflective object that you can see yourself in? You actually like those ensembles?
@Nola Darling,
On Teyana Taylor … Google her, she’s a celebrity.
@Nola Darling,
Along with Teyana Taylor, other people whose famousness/purpose I question:
- Perez Hilton (finally looked at his site, and made the Scooby Doo question noise- Arruuggh?)
- Anyone who’s been on a Viacom station’s reality show (MTV, VH1, BET, whatevs…)
-Anyone who’s been on any reality show, and think their celebrity extends past the moment they get kicked off/win the contract but don’t deliver results/ weren’t “here to make friends”, and just enjoyed the ride…
-The old hype man that travels with Snoop, crip walking in the corner (or wait… is that Snoop?)
-Anyone who works for TMZ- Do you really put that on a resume?
- The freakin’ Hiltons, Kardashians, and any other genre of “celeb-utante”: We had to make up a word to describe your “occupation?” Why can’t you just shut up and live off of your ancestors’ money in peace? Why we gotta be subjected to your crappy “debut” tapes, and mediocre personalities at best?
And….scene.
@Nola Darling,
You’s a fawkkin fool! Esp for these:
-Lil’ Wayne please explain your face.
-Lil’ Mama, why? Is there no reflective object that you can see yourself in? You actually like those ensembles?
Po’ Lil Mama – she looks like an ostrich gone wrong! By the way, is she related to Bow Wow?
@Nola Darling, Tiny is rather unfortunate about the face, isn’t she? coupled with her voice…yowza.
she’s almost painful to watch/listen to…
@Panama Jackson, she get it from her mama…
@overit?, believe it or not…but it never occurred to me that her mama would be white. lol.
@Panama Jackson, it never occured to me either, i was actually shocked when i saw the show. i just chalk it up to a “when mixing don’t go right”. i used to always think that mixed kids were cute. as i have gotten older and seen more of this world…i realize this is not the case.
@Panama Jackson, that should say *all mixed kids.
@Panama Jackson,
lmao oh em gee i was about to say “can tiny please explain her face as well.”
@Nola Darling,
Tiny makes me cuss everytime I see her and she talks. Ask Kindred. We’ve made a routine outta watching Tiny & Toya together on the phone. And everytime I see Tiny, my forehead wrinkles like this S:-| and I start to cuss. It’s become a reflex.
And I am a firm believer that Tiny is missing chromosome 21. Something bout her just don’t CURL all the way over. She’s like Schmedium Luffa tryna hit Big Luffa notes. iCan’t.
@Thuggie Luvvie, I too am confused when i see Toya, she got synapses just firing away. An unearthly looking creature she is.
For all you Harry Potter fans out there, my sister calls her Dobby, lmao.
@overit?,
I been traveling on this road too long. Tryna find my way back home. Cuz the OLD me is *DEAD AND GONE* at “Dobby”
@overit?,
i am supposed to be studying, but i just had to comment on this….
LMAO @ Dobby!! Hilarious…the chick looks like a house elf.
@overit?, lmao at the Dobby reference.
being called Dobby is about as low as it gets.
@overit?,
lmao wowwwwwww NOT dobby!!!! right on lil etwin sis.
@overit?,
*howls with laughter*
*tries not to swallow gum*
we are done. DONE, i say!!!
@Thuggie Luvvie, What confuses me the most is that she couldn’t have looked that way when she was in Xscape. I would have noticed. The world would have noticed. It would have went from “R&B Urban Girl Group” to “That Group with the Autistic Puppy” real quick
@Kindred Smile,
LMAO
@Kindred Smile,
*dead* @ autistic puppy
@Kindred Smile,
BWAHAHAHAHA!! Autistic puppy. And her slurring words? iCANNOT with Tiny!
@Kindred Smile,
“It would have went from “R&B Urban Girl Group” to “That Group with the Autistic Puppy” real quick”
AHAHAHAHAHA. Lovely.
@Kindred Smile, I think she looked that way then, too…it’s just that the “autistic puppydom” was offset by 3 normal-looking chicks, and hair not colored by the Kool-Aid Man. Now she just out here on her own inflicting her face upon us. Bless her heart.
@Nola Darling,
“Wood Harris…are you trying to build a career or ruin one? Your choices in roles befuddle me. ”
Terrific question. He is such an effing talented actor, I’m not sure why he constantly sells himself short. He must be on that good stuff…
Chris Brown- If you could go back in time, would you shake Rihanna instead?
@overit,
Chris Rock said it best: I won’t hit her…
@overit, ***DEAD*** Like Whitney Houston, “I’m not doing this todaaaayyyy.”
@overit, man, if Chris Breezy could have shaken her in that car given what else he was doing (though i dont condone any of his actions, the damage he was able to cause WHILE HE WAS MOTHERF*CKING DRIVING is amazing) he’d be like Kingpin Smack-a-h*e. The ability to drive, shake your woman into submission…he’d need 4 hands for that.
oh, and i’m sure he wishes he’d just have left her arse at the party and went to smash off his 64 year old manager/jumpoff instead.
@Panama Jackson,
lol like a pimp
@overit,
My sentiments exactly! His career has a weak pulse in the hospital on assisted breathing machines.
Leave my baby Amerie alone. I plan to marry her one day and I can’t have her knowing I go to blogs that talk about her singing in a negative light. Now to my question…
Soulja Boy, how much thought did you put into writing the lyrics for “Turn my swag on”? Were you sitting there thinking about what to put after you said yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh and just decided to say it twice? Did your homies pump you up and tell you it was hot fire? Did it dawn on you and a light bulb appeared above your head like a cartoon? I need to know!
@A-Town Genius, bless your heart, i plan to marry idris elba one day too lol
@overit,
and i plan on being the “other woman” who actually fulfills Idris’ wants and needs
@Gem Possible, does the other woman ever get what she wants? lmao.
@A-Town Genius, well then i have a question for you…
Do you talk about her singing in a positive light? And if so, how do you manage to keep a straight face? Or do you just avoid her voice altogether and keep remarking about her legs?
Amerie sounds like what Mary J. Blige would sound like if she’d stayed with K-Ci and cocaine instead of heading down the path towards redemption and no more drama. And danceries. I’m almost convinced that the danceries saved her life.
That and a DJ. Last night.
@Panama Jackson,
maybe its the long legs and the way she hits high notes hmmmmmmmm she gotta cute face to you cant not like her
@BLUNTBLAZER, you can’t not like LOOKING at her. true.
just saying, when she sings, things die.
@Panama Jackson,
lol yea she is one of those mute button chicks. heyyyy they should form a group lol her bey, shakira, ciara etc
@Panama Jackson,
Nah I’ll be the first to admit her voice isn’t the greatest but I always thought it was decent in today’s music. She’s no Cassie to me at least. Still I was always able to just vibe to her albums all the way through. Don’t know why it’s just the way it is I suppose.
Ummm yeah and the legs too.
@A-Town Genius,
“Leave my baby Amerie alone. I plan to marry her one day and I can’t have her knowing I go to blogs that talk about her singing in a negative light. ”
I thinks he is a very pretty girl, but I almost didn’t recognize heron the BET Awards Pre-Show when Rocsi and nem was interviewing her for some mess. She looked like her face swam in a tub of powder. She looked like Memoirs of a Geisha without the remembering…it was tragic. Hope she tooked that mess off her face, STAT and realized the error of her ways.
@Cheekie,
rosci now sumthin bout her jus dont look right
@Cheekie,
She looked like Memoirs of a Geisha without the remembering…
LMFBAO That is so cold!
@Cheekie,
I actually haven’t seen her in a while since I really don’t watch any TV that doesn’t have to do with sports, entourage, weeds and LOST. If what you say is true I am deeply disappointed in her and before we get married I will talk to her about that ish lol.
*Sigh* so many questions, so little time to ask them.
*Amy Winehouse – Please tell me. What kinda sorcery do you do that keeps you alive despite taking drug cocktails that includes horse tranquilizers, when grown men like Heath Ledger die after taking 1 prescription drug too many?
*Diana Ross – Why have you been rocking THE SAME weave/wig since the ’70s??? Also, when will you admit to us all that Evan is REALLY MJ’s son? Just wondering…
*Morgan Freeman – REALLY? You just gon date your 23-year old step-granddaughter like that? You played GOD, Morgan! WTF?
*Nicole Kidman – Why is your ponytail always so tight that it makes your skin stretch and shine? Please loosen it for the sake of your hairline.
*Speaking of hairlines. Stevie Wonder, i know you can’t SEE your hairline has receded to the nape of your neck but can’t you feel that your braider doesn’t even touch your forehead anymore? I’m just saying…
*I’ve asked before and DANGIT I shall ask again. Angie Jolie. When will Zahara’s Black nanny be coming? I take personal offense to you having her head look like a 1920s cartoon pickaninny.
*Beyonce – I wonder. Have you just abandoned pants altogether? Is your love of spandex onesies so strong that we can’t count on your rocking denim in one of your videos?
See? Too many questions. So very little time
@Thuggie Luvvie, I sent Angie and Brad the link to Carol’s Daughters along with detailed instructions on how to make Zahara’s hair look less like an extra for the Buckwheat comeback tour. I haven’t heard back. Just letting you know, you don’t struggle alone!
@OneChele,
They actually use Carol’s daughter on her hair, lol.
Methinks they just need to hire someone to do that child’s hair. Or get some black friends and trick them into doing it.
@V.E.G.,
2520′s have no excuse anymore. I seent it with my own eyes… It CAN be done!
This guy shows some serrrrious dedication to the art: http://tiny.cc/braider
@Beez,
That is one of the most precious things I’ve seen. Some black fathers can take notes from him too.
@Beez,
that was so beautiful. It brought such a smile to my face that my cheeks hurt.
Why you tryna crack my thug?
@Beez,
That was so precious! And the twists were so well done too!
@Beez,
I just hope he isn’t putting vaseline in her hair…otherwise it was a good story. Thanks for sharing… that is all.
@Beez,
that is such a good story. i’m still smiling after reading it. and they have done a good job taking care of her hair.
@Beez, **sheds single tear** Yes, yes and yes.
@Beez,
and that, folks, is what i call good parenting — addressing a child’s needs with care and love.
@Beez,
AWWW! That was lovely!
There’s an image you don’t see everyday. We always see the image of a little Black girl between her Black Mama’s legs, but this is a spin on that particular image. A beautiful spin.
He’s keeping that hair UP ain’t he?
@V.E.G.,
I haven’t clicked the link (lazy) but is it the guy with the collection of hair accessories for his daughter?
@Thuggie Luvvie, “Also, when will you admit to us all that Evan is REALLY MJ’s son? ”
I see the resemblance.
” I take personal offense to you having her head look like a 1920s cartoon pickaninny. ”
I agree. A little oil in the hair does wonders but I don’t think they know much about that.
@Nicki Sunshine,
They know. Jada Pinkett schooled them on Carol’s Daughter. Lol. Apparently, she saw them on the red carpet and had to hip ‘em to it. (you learn a lot with an old copy of Essence in the dentist’s office). Now, I’m not sure she told ‘em they have to comb the child’s hair after application.
@V.E.G., after application? if zahara’s hair is like most ethiopian/east african hair, it need not be combed after the shower lol. all the serious de-tangling must be done in the shower. i doubt her hair is that hard to manage.
@overit?,
“it need not be combed after the shower lol. all the serious de-tangling must be done in the shower. ”
But, I meant it should be combed as in ‘styled’. Product can only do so much. lol.
@overit? and the topic of Zahara’s hair…..
Being Bi-racial…. My mother is black, and you can alwayyyyyyyyyyyyys tell, when a mixed kid’s mamma is whyte! lol! Them po babies be runnin around lookin like the “before” on a relaxer advertisment! When I lived in Holland, my neighbors were raising their 1/2 Nigerian twin grand-daughters. I paid for my entire senior budget, just off of the money I made off of combing these girls hair. These people would pay 50 guilders a piece (at the time approx 30 bucks or so) to get these girls hair done, and the next day it would look a hot a$$ mess! I stole that hustle as soon as I could.. I had fam sending me balls and bows from stateside.. they was rockin shirly temple curls, corn rows, beads, ponys,…. Ms. Helen ( that was the grannys name) almost DIED when I introduced her to JAM! lol! she was trying to brush them po-babies heads with a whyte girl wig brush! She had no clue she was supposed to use a bristle brush! She had no clue that them edges could actuall lay down! lol! she would send them over every morning, and I would comb their hair before school while we ate breakfast.. she would pay me 50 guilders.. just to comb their hair!…. Little did she know.. them babies had “good hair” LOL!
@Laneianna,
“you can alwayyyyyyyyyyyyys tell, when a mixed kid’s mamma is whyte! ”
Soooo true.
@V.E.G., “Now, I’m not sure she told ‘em they have to comb the child’s hair after application.”
LMAO!!!! ’tis true. We can not wash n’ go.
@Nicki Sunshine,
lol my son only lets me touch his hair since he was 2 his mama aint black enuf ta understand his hair
@Thuggie Luvvie, Also, when will you admit to us all that Evan is REALLY MJ’s son? Just wondering…
wouldn’t this be like the biggest scandal ever? for one, it would prove that diana ross was the original high school teacher gone perv. for b, it would prove that MJ wasn’t impotent and actually did manage to get it up a time or two. for trois, it would seriously call into (further) question those current kids of his.
but, it might lend credence since evan’s arse is as light bright as light bright can get.
free tito.
@Panama Jackson,
They’ve already found out that MJ’s kids aren’t biologically his. He got a sperm donor for them. You need to stay up on ur TMZ game!
@Thuggie Luvvie,
i woulda banged dorthy of the wiz version of diana ross shiii has mike ever banged a chick? no chick brags bout it
@Thuggie Luvvie, that’s alleged. i mean sure they looking nothing like him and are actually white as day…however…tmz is like getting your news from bossip.
and that dude never did say that he is actually the donor.
plus, tito was just out in london talking about them kids is micheal’s even if they are white. so it must be true.
tito doesnt lie.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“*Morgan Freeman – REALLY? You just gon date your 23-year old step-granddaughter like that? You played GOD, Morgan! WTF?”
Hearing this news truly kilt me. I mean, what? Is he trying to one-up Woody Allen somehow or something? They got some friendly wager going on, on who can shag the latest generations, I mean, what?
Soulja Boy Tell’em: Since you’re a soulja, can we send you to the front lines in Afghanistan to find Osama bin Laden with your sunglasses serving as your guide?
Matt Damon: How did you avoid Ben Affleck’s bad acting?
Beyonce: Do you understand that you’re the black Jennifer Anistion of film acting? i.e., you’re good and terrible.
Sherri Sheppard: Would you just slap Elisabeth Hasselbeck one good time the next time she says something stupid? Please?
Master P: Do you have any gold leftover from that bathroom that you showed us on MTV Cribs?
@thismayconcernyou, gold leftover
hahahah! He sent it to the Cash for Gold website. He’s ballin’ once again!
@pgh muse, is it me or did those commercials just come out of nowhere and now they won’t go away?
@Panama Jackson,
**waxing wall street conspiracy theory for a moment**
The reason they are so amped to give you cash for your gold is because paper money ain’t worth the ink used to print it anymore (thank you Slick Willy) and gold actually still has value. Should the world economy truly collapse (as if it hasn’t already) we will be living the way they do in Zimbabwe right now.
Message: Keep your “unwanted” gold, silver and platinum jewelry. You might need it to buy bread one day.
@blackberry molasses, you know Africans love them some gold. soon as ish hits the fan, i’d pay my momma and aunties a visit, lol.
@Panama Jackson,
“is it me or did those commercials just come out of nowhere and now they won’t go away?”
Like a person with bad breath…
I also can not STAND how that lady says “jewelry” in those things. You know which one.
@Beez,
“like a person with bad breath”
lmbao my mechanic was like that sat mornin im thinkin im neva comin here early again jus ta be first in line
*whipes down comp screne*
@thismayconcernyou,
Umm Sherri Shepherd herself needs to be slapped. That fool needs a “SADDOWN” Gift Basket with the “Get some Sense” Body Butter & the “Read a Book” Incense sticks
@Thuggie Luvvie,
What she needs is some kind of surgery to change her mailbox shaped body into a human shaped one.
iCan’t.
@8th Wonder,
*dead* at mailbox shaped body.
sadly, that’s really an accurate description.
@8th Wonder,
She does! She look like she oughta have a red flag next to her head. iCANNOT and iWILL NOT!
@thismayconcernyou, whoa now…Beyonce is the second greatest Black female actress of our time…
right after Keshia Knight-Pulliam.
@Panama Jackson,
Yes. This is true (in an alternate universe where Ashanti doesn’t take 2 hours to wax her sideburns and Lil Wayne’s breath doesn’t make ur eyebrows curl)
@thismayconcernyou,
“Soulja Boy Tell’em: Since you’re a soulja, can we send you to the front lines in Afghanistan to find Osama bin Laden with your sunglasses serving as your guide?”
*snort* Yeah, there’s probably some x-ray vision goin’ on in that white-out.
Oh yeah…
To Pat Buchanan: For real? Did you mean those words that just came out of your mouth? Should I expect the hose later or something, for stepping into IHOP expecting to sit down and eat?
@Beez, i just chalk him up to being old now. he’s basically at crotchety-old-f*ck status.
plus, i dont believe that he believes half the sh*t he says. when i saw his joint on rachel maddow i was like, pat doesnt believe this…he’s just employing his right as a crotchety-old-f*ck to say whatever he wants to get a reaction.
@Panama Jackson,
dont give him a free pass lol
@BLUNTBLAZER, its not a pass so much as i just cant really take him serious. he goes SO far into the realm of non-sense it’s hard for me to believe he believes what he’s saying.
like Gucci Mane saying he’s a 100 millionaire. we know it aint true but we let htem say it anyway since we know they lyin
Luckily I’ve been out of the country for a few years so I haven’t been exposed to these guys. I Youtube’d the interview. LMAO. That was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. It wouldn’t have been as funny had I not read Panama’s commentary first. “Aye.” The best. Mane said, “Im’ma let Lo do da talk’n.” As if he’s the scholar of the group. Lawd. Chapelle needs to get back in the game. There is soooo much material out there.
Thanks Panama.
@Ms. Hall, i’m pretty sure that I can top that “funniest thing you’ve seen in a long time”. i’m just trying to figure out a way to incorporate it into a post.
and you’re right, chappelle does need to come back. hell, if i had even HALF a budget, i’d be spoofing all these ninjas similar to the Ricky Ross impersonator down in Florida who keeps pretending to be Rick Ross.
bawse.
@Panama Jackson,
Daveeeeeeeeeeeeee *sheds tear*
Just a few random questions…
BET – Ain’t cha just a wee bit shamed… really?
Jermaine Dupri – How did you get Janet in the first place?
Idris Elba – you are going to leave Obsessed off your resume, right?
Tyler Perry – are you just a little too happy to be wearing a dress all the time?
Chaka Khan – you realize your voice is still amazing if you use some Luster’s Pink on that ‘do and tuck in the girls, right? BTW, where is Rufus?
speaking of “the girls”,
Re-Re, just because you are the Queen of Soul do you really think you should be wearing spaghetti straps?
Inquiring minds want to know…
@OneChele,
DEAD at “Re-Re” and while we being inquisitive and whatnot…can somebody ask Jermaine Jackson’s triflin arse who told him he was relevant?
Janet – when are you going to admit to birthing Renee Jackson…she look just like u and Bunny DeBarge rolled into one…RUDE!
Al Sharpton – how long are you gonna use the Godfather of Soul as an excuse to look like the 2009 version of Darryl Jenks?
@OneChele,
Re-Re the Body’s bra straps offend me. Why she feels that her mammaries can be supported by anything less than titanium is beyond me. Them tig ol’ biddies are the world’s most accurate southern compass.
@Thuggie Luvvie, lmao
talkin bout chain hang low lol
@OneChele, forget how JD pulled Janet…she’s had a confusing mix of relationships as it is anyway, at least he’s talented…
WHY did jd get that damn Janet tattoo on him? using basic math and intel, he’s had that tattoo for say, two months now right. they must have been on the rocks back then for them to break up now. hell, she JUST lsot her brother AND she gets broken up with? only a truly irreparable relationship would end amidst personal grief.
usually, you hold out for an extra month after they lose a person in their nuclear family (and grandmothers). even if it is a jackson.
if they lose a cousin or aunty or something, unless they were raised by them, you can drop them a solid 2 weeks later.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m mad you’ve thought the break up after a death thing through. But…you’re right.
It’s just cold to add a break up to someone’s plate right after they’ve suffered a loss. Give ‘em a month. Dang.
Beyonce: What is your aversion to a sheer hose? Why all the shimmer? Also, what is the last (non-comic/picture) book you’ve read? (beautiful girl…but methinks she can’t read)
POTUS and The First Lady: Did y’all really want to get a Pit Bull or a Rottweiler?
Anthony Hamilton: Have you heard of relaxers for chest hair?
Usher: How can you be so cute even with a nose that looks like a chicken butt?
John Legend: Please, please tell me that you aren’t gay. (NTTAWWT)
Idris Elba: Do you shower?
Alicia Keys: Why is your voice so dayum deep? (beautiful girl…but dayum the voice is Barry-ish. White. Not Obama)
Prince: Can I play in your closet?
O.J.: How’d you do it? You know what I’m talking about…
Erykah Badu: Do you have babies for your men in the same way some chicks get their dude’s names tattooed on ‘em or is that just a coincidence?
Ving Rhames: Were you high at the BET awards?
@V.E.G.,
Will answer your queries.
*You’s a hater. You KNOW Sasha Fierce reads “Oh the places you can go” by Seuss ERR night. Gives her motivation
*Yes they wanted the Pit but didn’t wanna deal with the PR nightmare that would inevitably come when one bites a Secret Service dude
*Anthony just needs a good deep conditioner to detangle his taco meat. Besides, Dark & Lovely may not take w/ that extra COARSE chest hair.
*iHate you for makin me survey Usher’s face for an *ss-nose
*Umm… John Legend is gayer than Wanda Sykes & Ellen sitting in a closet waiting for someone to kick em out. Them schmedium leather vests he has an affinity for tell a louder story than Ne-Yo’s lipgloss collection
*LEAVE MY MAN ALONE!!!
*Ask Anita Baker * Toni Braxton the same questions
*I got first dibs on Prince’s shoe collection. His heels game is SICK!
*Well the glove ain’t fit (although he ain’t pull it past his knuckles) so… *cackles*
*Erykah’s uterus has magical powers. In fact, it was the “wardrobe” that the lion & the witch were after
*Was Jamie Foxx drunk? We ALL know the answer.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“*Ask Anita Baker * Toni Braxton the same questions”
Giiirl. I am talking about speaking voices!
Their singing voices are deep but they don’t sound like that when they speak. Not to me anyway. Alicia’s voice, however.
And this coming from someone who herself doesn’t have the highest voice. When I hear Ms. Keys talk…I am always taken aback by the bass in her voice.
@V.E.G., just to piggyback on this AKeys was supposed to voice that new Frog Princess in the Disney movie but didn’t get the role for this exact reason.
@Thuggie Luvvie, “Oh the places you can go” by Seuss
That’s my fav HS grad gift, lol. Love that book!
@V.E.G., “O.J.: How’d you do it? You know what I’m talking about…”
Hilarious!
@V.E.G., Now, if we were asking fellow VSB/VSS’s questions, I’d pose this one first:
V.E.G.: Why must you always hate on my boo? What did Idris ever do to you? Do you not like chocolate?
@overit?,
I know right? Why VEG always gotta talm bout Mr. Elba? She thisclose from being sent a notarized letter requesting the friendship bracelet I gave her back (Yes. The Dereon exclusive w/ the bedazzled charm) . HMPH!
@overit?,
I loooooooves the chocolate. I do. Idris looks unclean, he just does…
From this point on I will refrain from commenting on him, since you and Luvvie love him so much.
And Luvvie: if I give you the bracelet back, you must return the sequined headband with ostrich feathers.
@V.E.G.,
But… but I like the headband!! It goes oh so well with my Dereon jumpsuit with the rhinestones zipper & sequined hood. *wall slide*
Fine! U can keep the friendship bracelet. HMPH! *crosses arms*
@V.E.G., Alicia does have a deep voice doesn’t she.
i pretty much don’t like her speaking voice. she sounds a little bit TOO hood for me. not in a non-grammar kind of way, just her inflections, etc. add to that the deep voice and i feel like im listening to mos def.
@Panama Jackson,
*shakes head*
@Panama Jackson,
yea untill you see them hips then its a diff story
@BLUNTBLAZER, true.
the hips don’t lie.
@V.E.G.,
“Usher: How can you be so cute even with a nose that looks like a chicken butt?”
ROFL. YES. But he’s still such a cutie! And he’s getting better lookin’ with age, IMO. That nose is something else, though. Like, if you slapped that on a fug such as Lil Wayne, the earth would implode.
@Cheekie,
Yes…Usher has improved with age. I find myself looking at him in a way that I didn’t when he was 16, 24, etc. lol.
But his nose…lawd.
So on point w/ the Jay-Z questioning, PJ. I have said time and time again that Jay-Z is a lil too thoughtful for that girl and she too cute for him, lol. I can only imagine their conversations.
I think, during her acceptance speech at the BET awards, I texted Luvvie something along the lines of “This chile only reads the funnies”.
Maybe she should hang with A. Keys: Alicia could loan her a few books and Bey could teach Alicia some southern girl femininity.
@V.E.G., you know who’s convos i NEVER ever wanted to hear?
you remember when musiq soulchild and india.arie were dating? i’d never want to be a fly on the wall in that house. either they’d talk in verse or every convo would include the words “soul” “deep” or “water”.
@Panama Jackson,
Same for Ms. Badu and Common, methinks… If only Twitter was alive then, he probably would’ve known what he was getting into earlier, and could’ve made an escape plan.
@V.E.G., eh… rappers talk about themselves alot I can see Jay-Z never runnning out of words to say about himself and Beyonce never running out of different ways to nod and giggle…
@Omar, i’m highly opposed to gigglers.
@Omar, i can see this too, lol.
A thought…could it be the VSBers and VSSers are intellectual snobs? Do we judge Bey cuz she doesn’t have the gift of witty one liners and her vocabulary is full of one syllable words?
Nah…
@V.E.G.,
Yes to both. I turn my nose up at people who can’t grasp the rules of grammar, syntax and sentence structure. Plus I judge Beyonce for making me wanna slit my wrist the right way when I watch one of her interviews.
@V.E.G., maybe when it comes to Beyo, not when it comes to her rocks for thought processes sister, Solo. She the pop music equivalent of RADIO.
@T. Troy Stewart,
Actually, I have not heard Solo speak a word. She doesn’t captivate me the way Bey does. lol.
They both prolly spent too much time gettin’ rehearsed by daddy (that sounds bad…) and not enough time readin’ and learnin’.
@V.E.G., you’ve never seen Solo talk?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVjZ41OOtaY
brace yourself…
@T. Troy Stewart,
OMG. Just woooow. To make matters worse, she talks like she’s extra sleep.y
AND, she had the nerve to get a ‘tude with the reporter. Bish. Go back to school.
@T. Troy Stewart,
that she “tried” to get somebody together and was wrong!
I saw a commercial last night. Theres midol PM now baby.
@T. Troy Stewart,
wow…. she just went there!!! like, from JUMP. Ohhhh… she needs to SADDOWN.
@V.E.G., even though i stay joshin’ Beyonce, my life is better b/c she’s in it. she’s so much fodder for convo and if you ever want to piss off most women, all you have to do is say, Beyonce is this generations Dorothy Dandridge.
it’s instant anger and will either spearhead the most interesting retarded convo ever or enable you to end your date early.
@Panama Jackson,
“Beyonce is this generations Dorothy Dandridge.”
*leading Mr. Panama D. Jackson to the cloest jumping off place*
Why hasn’t anyone suggested cap sleeves or a bra for the Queen’s tigo’s? Are they really that afraid of her? Just duck when she swings one at you…. hell she can’t move that fast with nonsupport!
When will Le chateau de Deriwhyforthelifeofallthingspolycottonblendand bedazzledheaven ever fall?
Soulja boi…. if you really did tell w/e it is you “tell’um” will your essence dissentigrate and blow away with the wind…is that why you haven’t told us yet?
Juiceman…any relation to Mr. Kool-Aid?
@Ro,
LOL at cap sleeves. “Somebody get her a bolero or a shrug. sum’n.”
I don’t understand Aretha. She’s from the old school so she knows good and well that she needs some serious foundation garments. Not just a bra. A long line bra, with the hooks in the front and a girdle. Being heavy doesn’t mean you can’t look neat. But the foundation garments won’t help as long as she continues to purchase Disney mermaid princess silhouette style gowns. Does she own stock in a tulle manufacturer? The mesh fabric from one of her gowns could trap a school of rainbow trout.
@Ms. Hall,
“A long line bra, with the hooks in the front and a girdle.”
With boning.
@V.E.G.,
dont no body talk bad bout re re …………shiii i bet they bounce off her knees when she walks lol she need some bungie cords straps
@Ms. Hall, Wooooooowwwwww….
@Ro,
The House of ‘Reon will not fall until you lull the 3-headed dogs that guard the glitter gate )wearing the finest kanekalon lacefront hairlat) to sleep. I heard that you have to play them the “Halo” instrumental to get them to sleep. When that happens (and only then) will Mama Tina’s Dereon Hades fall like the Berlin Wall.
True Story
@Thuggie Luvvie, why are you so foolish??
@overit?,
Well, what had happened was. The day the good Lawd was passing out sense, He told me it was gon be around 4pm. So I thought I had time so I went to get some Rice and then I fell victim to the itis. When I woke up, I had missed the “Sense” Queue. I choked it up as a loss & got seconds of IGnificence.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Instead of guarding the Glitter Gate can the dog be trained to work with the (as the) Fashion Police? A dog that can sniff out fashion faux pas would no doubt be a much better use of resources.
1. Joe Jackson: Are you watching “Hoodlum” for fashion tips?
2. Mya: Did we ever really get “The Best of ….” you? From what I hear about you, maybe you should just write a book like Supahead.
***joking: I love Mya. She just can’t get a break***
3. Jennifer Hudson: Do you consider Terry McMillan’s “situation”?
@Nicki Sunshine,
“3. Jennifer Hudson: Do you consider Terry McMillan’s “situation”?”
Oooo…chile, shut up.
**whispers** “Don’t he look funny though?”
@Ms. Hall, LMAO. He really does!!!!
@Ms. Hall,
“Don’t he look funny though?
He looks like a cat!
@Nicki Sunshine
You KNOW I can’t concentrate with them lips, Nicki! A brotha gotta get work done. So d@mn disrespectful.
@An Island, LMBO!!!! I’m sorry!
@Nicki Sunshine,
Follow up question for Joe Jackson. Why do your eyebrows give me the middle finger like this? (^_^). Eff you too, Joe!
@Thuggie Luvvie, U HAVE KILLED ME THRICE.
@Nicki Sunshine,
i’m jus saying, Nicki. LOL. I get offended everytime I see Joe Jackson and his eyebrows flip me the bird. I’m not an artist but I’m sensitive and sh*t
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I. just. CACKLED.
@Nicki Sunshine, poor Mya, she really can’t catch a break.
she’s like the non-uber ghetto version of Monica.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“3. Jennifer Hudson: Do you consider Terry McMillan’s “situation”?”
HAHA! It’s deja vu!
**Warning Not Related To The Topic**
Did anyone catch Lil Kim’s duet w/ Cyndi Lauper? Who know Cyndi could flow? Kim can’t sing but I love her for trying out a new genre.
@Ms. Hall, Lil Kim should have saved that for her shower. Why she at Nelson Mandela’s Birthday party anyway? Seriously, why?
@T. Troy Stewart,
Why indeed.
I feel like she’s moving in a different direction. Trying to change her image and such. But I was surprised (to say the least) to see her there ….and surprised that she knows where Tehran is.
@Ms. Hall,
“Did anyone catch Lil Kim’s duet w/ Cyndi Lauper?”
Ya know what? I didn’t know such a thing exists. And Jesus wept for music. *cues violins*
@Ms. Hall,
“Did anyone catch Lil Kim’s duet w/ Cyndi Lauper?”
*eyebrows perk up*
¿Qué?
For real? Wow…I needs to YouTube this ASAP.
1. white males – Is there something in your DNA that prevents you from remembering anything past 20-30 years? The Sotomayor confirmation hearing reminded me that 2520 men live in a different world than the rest of us.
2. Gucci Mane, Dorrough, Shawty Lo, Gorilla Zoe, and others – Are you in awe that you have a record deal? You are aware that you are getting away with murder as far as music right?
3. BET – Does your lack of programming with substance reflect your audience or the opinions of the suits that think they know what the audience wants?
4. Avery Johnson – Is speech a pre-requisite to becoming a sport commentator? If so how did you fail and still get the job?
5. Beyonce – You do know that even though you try to hide it men are aware that you don’t have an @ss?
@Humble_One,
“4. Avery Johnson – Is speech a pre-requisite to becoming a sport commentator? If so how did you fail and still get the job?”
Obviously not, how else could you explain Shannon Sharpe?
@Humble_One,
“5. Beyonce – You do know that even though you try to hide it men are aware that you don’t have an @ss?”
She doesn’t?? Has she bamboozled us into thinking so? Maybe its her hips that made me imply that she had a booty. I forgot that they can be mutually exclusive (see: Tisha Campbell’s donkified but hipless stature)
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I was fooled at one time too. Her hips throw you off. She is rocking the pancake @ss back there.
@Humble_One,
It’s not as bad as a pancake. It’s just not a shelf.
The hips and thighs throw folks off. But I think A. Keys has a bubblier arse than Bey. And Janet will forever be my a$$ idol.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Seeing Beyonce nominated for Greatest Posterior on VH1′s The Great Debate confused, and came close to enraging me. Then I started thinking about how there are very few women famous for anything other than being famous, who have great bootays.
@Humble_One, 2. Gucci Mane, Dorrough, Shawty Lo, Gorilla Zoe, and others – Are you in awe that you have a record deal? You are aware that you are getting away with murder as far as music right?
whoa now homeboi…dorrough is SO talented. when i hear him rap about ice cream paint jobs with such vivid imagery, i imagine myself sitting on a bench during the harlem renaissance as claude mckay and langston hughes scribble feverishly to craft life-altering canvases of the times.
yes, dorrough is the harlem renaissance.
@Panama Jackson,
I been telling them folks about Dorrough…Texas what’s up? LOL
*walks off singing “walk that walk”.*
Harlem Renaissance? Now you’re stretching thangs a bit.
@miss t-lee, wait wait…you actually think dorrough is good? or is this a relative thing…
like relative to Tum Tum, Dorrough is Jay-Z with his.
i’m confrused like young buck come tax season.
@Panama Jackson,
Hee-hee!!! You already know I have a soft spot in my heart for my Texas boys…they can do no wrong.
It’s a jammin’ song and you know it!Poet Laureate he is not, but can he make me get down in the car….yes.
Oh yeah, about Tum Tum…I was never really feeling him, but I do like Big Tuck. “Not A Stain On Me” was/and still is my junk.
@miss t-lee,
YEAH!!!! “Clean on the inside, cream on the outside, Ice Cream paint job” LMAO!
@Ms. T,
You know what time it is lady…lol!!
@miss t-lee,
I see the love for music from Texas is unconditional.
@Humble_One,
i like that song “jerk” but those kids dress hella weird
@BLUNTBLAZER ,
Those kids are from your neck o’ the woods.
@Humble_One,
“5. Beyonce – You do know that even though you try to hide it men are aware that you don’t have an @ss?”
Hmm, my sister said the same thing. It made me wonder…do ninjas truly think she’s bangin’ in the booty? In terms of comparing her to regular ol’ non-celeb Black chicks that have bangin’ booties? My sis said there are FAR bangier in terms of our thick sistas, but just because she’s Beyonce, there’s all this hype around hers.
Like if you just saw her arse swayin’ down the street and she wasn’t who she is as far as status goes, would you get whiplash?
@Cheekie,
“Hmm, my sister said the same thing. It made me wonder…do ninjas truly think she’s bangin’ in the booty? ”
Some dudes actually believe she has booty. I think they are fooled by the big hair and spandex.
I just saw this one this morning and I have to ask, who in the world thought that anybody would want to hear Lil’ Kim singing?
http://www.popcrunch.com/cyndi-lauper-lil-kim-duet-nelson-mandela-91st-birthday-celebration-video-time-after-time/
Who thought that Lil Kim singing period was a good idea, wasn’t Mandela 27 years in prison punishment enough?
Just because you were on DANCING WITH THE HAS-BEEN STARS that shouldn’t get you passes to go beyond your boundaries
This is an perfect example of how the Black community needs to rise up and shut these rappers and entertainers down when they start doing crap like this.
I always imagine that ReRe looks like the Mammie/Beluah, from the old racist Tom & Jerry cartoons, from the kneecaps down. I bet she wears houseshoes as much as possible.
@T. Troy Stewart,
*hands T. Troy his one way ticket on the fast train to hell*
@T. Troy Stewart,
I think I agree with you. Aretha does look like she shuffles everywhere with a broom.
@T. Troy Stewart,
Thomaaaaas!
I’m with V.E.G. though, you are most definitely going to hell, first class. Don’t forget your gasoline boxers.
My questions:
Wendy Williams: When will the surgery and transformation be complete?
All tight Jean wearing artists: You really take it up the butt on the low don’t you? Either that or you want to be like your sister?
Joe Jackson: So when are you going to go?
I’ll have to think of others…I don’t really have much to say to any of these “stars.”
@CPT Callamity,
“Joe Jackson: So when are you going to go?”
You are so wrong! LOL
@CPT Callamity,
“Joe Jackson: So when are you going to go?”
Ouch! lol
for the record, I think that Ciara’s attempt at bringing back the Julia The Nurse/60′s Diahann Carroll haircut is commendable.
@T. Troy Stewart,
I’m not a fan, but I’m curious as to why people keep going at Ciara. I mean, Aaliyah she is not but why are people constantly taking jabs?
@CPT Callamity, who’s taking jabs, I like her new haircut LOL
@T. Troy Stewart,
Not you in particular but her name has been brought up in quite a few comments.
@CPT Callamity, easy target. she intentionally dated lil bow wow.
@Panama Jackson,
Now my eyes are opened!
@Panama Jackson,
And she “look like a man.” (c) Miss Swann
Her and Deborah Cox with them Dwight Howard-esque shoulders…
@Deviant,
where have you BEEN?!?!?!?
*goes back to lurking*
@CPT Callamity,
To tell ya the truth, I did compare her to Aaliyah when she first came out, but seriously with time and maturity, she’s developed her own style and I like it. And the girl can DANCE. It is completely different from Aaliyah’s fluid movements, but Ciara gets it on the dance floor.
@Cheekie, ya know…you’re right. Ciara can dance. in fact, she dances so well, i never want to hear her sing live again. just dance Ci-Ci. that’s what you do.
she should attach an autotune box to her dress whenever she sings live.
@T. Troy Stewart,
I love her haircut. And her style, overall.
OMG, yall going hard on Beyonce. lol But I still love her.
Jermaine Jackson – Is that really hair on the sides of your fade or are the sides shaded in with a black Sharpie marker? Wait, why are you wearing a fade, anyway?
T.I. – You asked us “What you know about that?” Well, dear sir…what do you know about “that”? And what exactly is “that”? And if you know all about “that,” why not share the info? You’re rude!
Bonus question: For you folk who’s always talking about you’re “getting it in”…what exactly is “it” and where is this “in” you’re putting “it”…in? And when are you going to be…”taking it out”?
FOCKER OUT!
@K to the…,
Getting it in for me =
1. Blaze
2. Drank
3. Booty
Not in that particular order and sometimes not the same time. Yep, that’s my explanation.
@K to the…, speaking of songs that are retardedly ambiguous but great…
did anybody ever figure out what the Backstreet Boys wanted that way? they never explained the “it” in the song “i want it that way”.
i loved that song by the way.
@Panama Jackson,
Good point, dear sir…
@Panama Jackson,
dam backstreet boyz dogg 4 real smh
well i like “the doors” shh dont tell no body
@BLUNTBLAZER, that song was a number 1 hit nationwide for one very simple reason:
it was pop gold. and i love pop gold.
@Panama Jackson,
I was a Backstreet Boys stan. And they looked sexay dancing around in them white suits. I loved me some AJ before he got chubby and drunk.
In “I want it that way”, I thought they were talking about a Whopper.
I just one question for Matthew and Tina Knowles:
Why did you sell Beyonce to Jay Z in some old school like royal celebrity union so that the money stays in the family?
@MilkandCookies, LMAO @ your name…RIP Bernie:(
@overit?,
“MilkandCookies, LMAO @ your name…RIP Bernie:(”
I know…I can’t help but say that screename in Bernie voice.
Panama – I don’t get Amerie either. If metal could sing, it would sound exactly like her. Pretty girl though.
Jermaine Jackson – what’s that thing you’ve done to your hair called? And, why would you willingly do that to yourself?
@YGB,
Ya know, I honestly thought Amerie died and came back as Keri Hilson…but I could be wrong….
Drake – are you related to the late Andre the Giant in any way?
The Game – you really think we believe MJ tried to intervene in the beef b/t you and 50? and how do you mention that then turn around and diss Jay just b/c he said your name in a freestyle? are you bipolar?
Delonte West – has Herpecil offered you any endorsement deals?
DMX – so… cocaine is a helluva drug, huh?
Wendy Williams – are you really a man? seriously, you can tell us…
Cassie – no questions. just a word of advice: learn from watching your peers. if someone offers to let you perform a ballad, backed by only a piano, while sitting on a stool at an awards show… just say no.
Pharrell – you messing with erykah badu? your style is on some andre 3000 ish right about now
@SouthernCharm, Drake – are you related to the late Andre the Giant in any way?
LOL.
@SouthernCharm, those are all very good questions.
and the Game is on some non-sense with that one. i saw that video and the whole time i kept thinking, “ninja, you KNOW you lying…you just kept a lid on that, for like 4 years???? gtfoh. MJ calls you and you don’t tell anybody or mention it? the way you namedrop, we’d have known the second you hung up…”
re: DMX…LMAO.
@SouthernCharm,
“Drake – are you related to the late Andre the Giant in any way?”
*Will from Fresh Prince voice* Mama noooooo!
*DEAD and Gone*
“DMX – so… cocaine is a helluva drug, huh?”
lol. How much you wanna bet he’d bark in response?
This is gonna get reckless today. Panama has opened the floodgates.lol.
Mr Marcus: Was Supahead’s head really that good in that video I saw where she nearly made you
succumbin record time for an adult entertainment flick?@Slim Jackson,
im riding with you on that one!!!
Drake – are you related to the late Andre the Giant in any way?
*giggling loudly*
@miss t-lee,
He actually looks like he could be a splice of Mac Tonite Moonface guy and Max Headroom.
@CPT Callamity, how often do you hear a Max Headroom or Mac Tonite reference anymore?
@CPT Callamity,
Dayum Max Headroom? Now…that’s taking it back…lol
@miss t-lee,
I’m showing my age, I know…but there are no other candle complexioned references I could think of.
1. Jon (and kate plus eight)-are you REALLY about to marry that young girl?
2.Diddy-Why wont you do something about your mother’s hair?
3. why does OJ juice man “bark” in all his songs?
4. One time for Nina Long being truthfully about the acting skills your favorite singer/songwriter
@The Dutchess,
Diddy-Why wont you do something about your mother’s hair?
Just her hair????
@YGB, according to our research, the “top-down” approach will work best for her, bottom up would overwhelm our staff here at GDLY.
@The Dutchess,
“4. One time for Nina Long being truthfully about the acting skills your favorite singer/songwriter”
Yeah, she gets a standing O for that remark. Beyonce is taking too many Black actresses jobs away from them, when they barely have much to choose from in the first place. She was dead-on when she said she needed acting classes. The only school Beyonce went to is the Keanu Reeves School of Acting.
@Cheekie, y’all stay taking shots at clearly talented individuals. keanu reeves and ben affleck are the best things to ever happen to serious acting in hollywood.
@Panama Jackson,
You stay acting a fool. lol
I been checking this blog for about 6 months now and each time I come back it gets worse and worse. The trash this blog has turned into over the past couple months has truly hurt my soul. I was all about supporting my fellow people in something, but I refuse to support poop. I was praying that somebody would tell Panama that he’s going far and wide searching for things to talk about and its not working. It’s okay if you run out of things to talk about, that’s normal and might do this blog some good. Overall you guys, ladies, puppets are clowns.
@Cleveland Smalls, a cry for help kb? let’s hug it out…
@Cleveland Smalls,
“I been checking this blog for about 6 months now and each time I come back it gets worse and worse.”
Yet after 6 months it was todays topic that caused you to say this?
@Humble_One, must be a slow day at the job.
@Cleveland Smalls,
Wow. So Jim Jones does read VSB.
@V.E.G.,
lololololol.
@Cleveland Smalls,
Faith?!?!? Is that you Faith?!?!
@Panama Jackson, i think its Tiny..
@Cleveland Smalls,
“…but I refuse to support poop”
Chile, everybody poops.
@Cleveland Smalls,
ItcCan’t be THAT bad if you are STILL checking. I mean 6 months is a long time to read a blog that you don’t like.
@Ivy St., right??
My edition of celebrity VSB queries.
*Wudaman, do you think in technicolor, like Joseph’s dreamcoat?
*CPT Callamity – Is there an ice box where your heart used to be?
*Champ – What happens when you go without breakfast? Does the space-time continuum get wonky?
*Shay-D – Do you cackle at your own tales like I do?
*Overit – The day the Lord was offering you sense, how did you politely decline?
*VEG – What brand of wisdom pills do you take? And umm what hater tea do you drink to hate on Idris’ segzy self?
THESE are some questions I need answers to
@Thuggie Luvvie, Overit – The day the Lord was offering you sense, how did you politely decline?
Sigh, I’m telling this story only once. So, it was a Friday when the Lord was passing out sense, and even though every day up there is a weekend, I still had somewhat of a schedule. That Friday, I was set on visiting all 7 heavens, I was on the 3rd one when I ran into Jesus, apparently he made the rounds too. So, of course I asked if I could kick it, and on the 5th level who do we run into? Moses and Noah, you KNOW i had to ask about that whale. anyways, by the time i got back, all sense was gone. i’ve made my peace with it.
I have a few questions myself!
8th Wonder: For those of us who are not so quick on our feet, is there hope? And how do you just come out the womb an arsehole?
Panama: Do you ever get the urge to call folks 3′s back? You know, using myspace citings and stuff?
D*stroy: Why did you just up and leave and take your hilarious commentary with you? When we like you, you can’t just leave, you must send a replacement!
Liz: Do you ever get the urge to use your tech savvy for evil, instead of good?
BluntBlazer: see attachment for ALL the questions I have for you.
WuDaMan: Would you get mad if you found I called you a mad scientist in my head? Also, do you really eat all the random food combos you mention?
@overit?, Panama: Do you ever get the urge to call folks 3’s back? You know, using myspace citings and stuff?
no comment. no..really. no comment.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL…if you did comment, it would be the Post That Shall Not Be Named, World War II Edition.
@Panama Jackson,
Yeah lawd knows Pandora’s Box would be open and even Hope will jump shit talmbout “H*ll no! I got nothing to do with this.”
People gon be like “You calling me a 3? And people say I look just like my mama. YOU CALLING MY MAMA UGLY?”
And then we’d need eSecurity to come break up all the eFights. Would be uglier than Jeffrey Dahmer’s thoughts.
@overit?,
Thank you for your inquiry. I’ll try to make this brief. There is no hope for you people. Assholery is a gift. You can’t learn it, it must be inherited. I happen to have a couple of assholes for parents, and have been raised as an asshole since birth. I was told I came out of the womb telling the doctor to “deliver deez”. Luckily (or not so much) for you mere mortals, I try to use my assholery for good, instead of evil.
I hope this covers any questions you may have had. Good day.
@8th Wonder, lol @“deliver deez”.
i find it a coinky dink you and champ both used the word “deez” at birth, except champ asked the nurse “whats wrong with deez?”
@overit?,
Oh, I always thought he’d asked, “Where are deez?”
I could be wrong, though.
@overit?,
lmao @ your never-ending quest to find d*stroy.
@Gem Possible, i try to pour out e-liqour for him once a week, lol.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
No ice box, however I have a very efficient cyrogenic fluid distribution system that regulates my overall mood from day to day.
@CPT Callamity,
I see. Thank you for the clarification.
and umm… does that mean you don’t ever get hot?
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Oh I did get hot, I just never overheat.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
Great idea.
I have a few I wanted ask.
Champ: I know you can “deez deez”, but can you “these deez”?
Thuggie Luvvie: Can you throw a VSB rice party (to rival the VSB BBQ)? I know you love rice and since I and a lot of other folks do, too, this would be splendid.
Wudaman: What will happen in 2012? I have this eerie feeling you know exactly what will happen.
VSSs and VSBs: Can someone do a real life enactment of a throat punch and YouTube it? Possible victim nominations: Joe Jackson, BET (yes I mean throat punch the actual network), R Kelly, Sarah Palin, Diddy.
@Cheekie, I’d love a VSB rice party, I’d bring butter chicken.
@Cheekie, but can you “these deez”
while patting your stomach and head.
@Thuggie Luvvie,
“VEG – What brand of wisdom pills do you take? And umm what hater tea do you drink to hate on Idris’ segzy self?”
My wisdom is not the product of any pills, young scribe. It is a gift. I am Yoda. Just not green. Or wrinkly. Or short. And my ears are much smaller. And I have a full head of hair. I can work lightsaber.
Cornell West…Need any money for more suits? Haircut? Why would you turn down a chance to work with/in the Administration, is you crazy?
Ye…you got a bad jawn, she look flexible, is she?
TI…all the women that inexplicably love you and you pick Tiny? Fa real, son?
Diddy….5 million artists on your label and they can’t release no albums? What part of the game is that?
Russell Simmons….does it make you mad to know that you will probably not find a better woman than Kimora? You know she was bad.
MJB….we know that K-Ci did you wrong…but could you please stop singing about it. We in a new millenium, let that stuff go.
Stacey Dash… you aren’t really 42 are you? We don’t believe you you need more people.
Wesley Pipes…must you talk throughout the entire scene. Shut the @#$# up!
@Stank-0, The T.I. vs. Tiny question is one for the ages. whatever it is that she’s good at, she is hands down the BEST at it. period. even if its just making macaroni and cheese.
there’s got to be something.
@Panama Jackson,
naw, it’s not mac & cheese. she can probably throw down a mean peach cobbler and a good homemade banana pudding….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
LMAO at the fact that you see her as a more a ‘dessert’ person.
@Panama Jackson,
“even if its just making macaroni and cheese. ”
LOL…it ain’t JUST mac and cheese if it’s homemade and baked, though.
*salivates*
I do have a feeling, though, that it has something to do with food. She probably works wonders in the kitchen, right? Or maybe her lips (with a mind of their own) are perfect for performing certain, um…duties?
@Cheekie,
as small and meager as TI looks, i have a feeling it’s not food.
@Panama Jackson,
yea now that tiny is on tv more im cant help but say DAYUM and not ina good way but ina wtf happened to ya chick dude
@Stank-0,
“Stacey Dash”
She looks dayum good. I wanna know her secret.
@V.E.G.,
“She looks dayum good. I wanna know her secret.”
Same here.
@Cheekie,
She could say she does some off the wall stuff, i.e. rubs chicken blood on her face at night…and I will seriously think about doing it. That’s how good she looks.
@V.E.G.,
Even still…same here. lol
@Stank-0,
“Diddy….5 million artists on your label and they can’t release no albums? What part of the game is that? ”
I’m beginning to get all conspiracy theorist and believe that he doesn’t want any of these mofos’ glitter to shine any brighter than his. Like, he don’t want them to get TOO successful to overthrow him in any way. Because, seriously, how can he NOT incorporate his genius management skills that he has in everything else into the artists on his label?
@Stank-0, actually, i think stacy dash is a bit older than 42. i could be wrong though. but i doubt it.
I quit human nature for allowing you to write a question to Mr. Big Stuff, Panama Stanima. That just done me in, that did. Cracking. UP.
My question to the peoples:
Beyonce: So, what led to the demise of your relationship with pants? And who is this mistress known as the bodysuit? Your Sybil, also known as Sasha Fierce is loving all over that one and has completely dissed pants which have been very good to her when she was more bootylicious and thicker and not able to flaunt the more toned legs. Give pants a chance, Bey. I know the men love it, but one day you’re gonna fall after all that gyrating and scrap our knee. THEN WHAT? Lindsey Lohan, the above questions (altered a little bit since you don’t have an alter ego just a mannish DJ ex) apply to you as well. Because ya know, leggings ain’t pants, honeychile.
Lil Wayne: After reading the conclusion drawn by a certain awesome blogger, that you are indeed, a roach… I must ask – What is your biggest fear? Boric Acid? Fluorescent lights?
BET: Can you make like a Microsoft PC and shut down?
Soulja Boy Tell Em: Cheekie Ask ‘Em here. Since your stage name is an entire sentence, why don’t you place a punctuation at the end of it? A question mark would suffice. And I’d love to know what you are tellin’ ‘em (‘em being the masses, I assume). Perhaps you’re tellin’ ‘em how to becoming successful by making the least sense?
T.I.: Have you ever tried to wear your hat the way you do in downtown Chicago? Why does it lean so much to the side? Is it running away from Tiny’s lip?
me fail english?: Where the eff ARE you?
Flava Flav: Hey, brotha. I’m fighting the power on the daily! Ok, you know how you look right? Right? *holds up mirror*…*the mirror proceeds to shatter*. Right. So, why do you twist your mug into the most grotesque expressions? Is your goal to get a Guinness World Record for fugliest fug? Or perhaps you’re trying to dethrone the ugliest dog? Enlighten me.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Why the long face?
Sarah Palin: Do you hate Tiny Fey since she can emulate everything you do, yet the only difference is that everyone actually likes her?
Ruben Studdard: Are you TRULY sorry for 2004? Are are you actually sorry for “Sorry 2004″?
@Cheekie, Sarah Jessica Parker: Why the long face?
ouch!!!!! LMAO.
and Mr. Big Stuff…i mean, he thinks he’s somebody…inquiring minds would like to know…
@Panama Jackson,
I know this old cat, in New Orleans, who used to date Jean Knight, the chick who recorded the song. He thinks ‘Mr. Big Stuff’ is about him.
@V.E.G.,
I wanna add he always brings up the fact he dated her and refers to her by her real name, not her performing name.
Old men. lol.
@Cheekie, LMAO @ TI’s hat running away from Tiny’s lip bwhahahaaha
@Cheekie, Sarah Jessica Parker: Why the long face?
I remember Jay Leno asked John Kerry that during the 04 races, iDied.
@overit?,
LOL…he did? Love it. That’s a perfect candidate…for that joke, I mean. Not to run the country or anything…
Al B Sure- why are you on tour?
Kim Porter-what do you do exactly? Are you in school? Own a business? What?
Solange- you do realize that we only know you because of your sister right?
My kids- why leave the clean bathroom at home, get out in public and have to go #2 in a dirty diseased public bathroom?
My Dad- why did you just send me a Happy Birthday text?
tacky!!!
@yaa,
“Al B Sure- why are you on tour? ”
He’s not sure…
@yaa,
my son is jus like me he waits and shats at home
@yaa,
… but it came with money in the mail so I forgave him shortly after. Check the mailbox!
My dad did the same thing this year
Shawty Lo has a pony head.
TI: How many light-skinned points did you give Tiny?
@Humble_One, STUPID. LMAO
@Humble_One,
100,000
I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that relationship. I can’t even look at Tiny directly. She is like the 2009 Medusa. She is probably a really beautiful person on the inside, I just wished her inny and outty beauty matched.
@Humble_One,
Haha…fa-real.
I’ll never understand the principle behind light skin making you look prettier or more attractive by default. Like there are no fug light skin folks or something. Sort of like 2520s and their obsession with blondes.
Like how do these miniscule features determine your attractiveness instead of just compliment it?
@Cheekie,
Not everyone gives out light-skinned points. I always thought the light-skinned obsession was a Southern thing. The Bahamian side of my fam, never paid it no mind, but the Bama boys were obsessed with it.
@Legendary Dash,
“Not everyone gives out light-skinned points. ”
Oh, I know. I wasn’t necessarily implying everyone did, but, it’s FAR too mainstream for it not to be an issue. We all know that much.
You’re raise a good point, though, that it seems to be more of a Southern thang, in comparison.
@Cheekie,
I think women with self-esteem issues are the ones who fixate on it the most though. The hate they kick out to the yellow and red among us can be unattractive.
@Legendary Dash,
“The hate they kick out to the yellow and red among us can be unattractive.”
True. I’ve never seen any indication that anything other than a teeny percentage of dudes have been fascinated by my complexion but it has always been the first thing a chick mentions to explain why I’ve a) gotten a date b) gotten a promotion c) paid my bills on time d) managed to avoid prison. I exaggerate but not really. And it is also the first ‘insult’ some chick has hurled when she wants to fight.
@Legendary Dash,
Yeah, I don’t promote hate on anyone…on either side of the color spectrum. And note, that hate is spewed on both sides. I’m in the middle, literally and figuratively.
Usher- You know we never believed you loved Tameka, right?
Justine Simmons- Why do you talk like that? Your high-pitched, downs syndrome voice makes me think of sadness on a humid day in Atlanta.
Musiq- You too cute to have this crazy eye situation, boo…can’t it be fixed?
Trey Songz- Though at times you have looked like a marsupial to me, I’ve come to terms with my love for you. Now, can we do it?
Teyana Taylor, your chin is quite aggresive…do the two of you argue often, or just when you’re being photographed?
Zane…you are aware that you need to be able to write before publishing books, correct?
@8th Wonder,
“Justine Simmons- Why do you talk like that? Your high-pitched, downs syndrome voice makes me think of sadness on a humid day in Atlanta.”
Oooh, my sister HATES (HATES) her voice. She’s always ranting about it all, “Does she think that’s cute?!”. As they say, she needs cheese with that whine.
@Cheekie, My mama does too. She even swears the two youngest sound just like her.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I actually like the scratchiness in her voice, and the mini versions that Diggy and Russy emulate. It’s just the whine that grates at times. But, honestly, I don’t hate it as much as my sis. lol
@Cheekie, I can do without the whining too.. I’m a fan of girls with different voices (a la Dear ole Alicia). lol
@Cheekie,
awwwww lol i LOVE justine simmons. her voice was annoying to me at first, but as i’ve come to fall in love with that family i find her voice endearing and cute.
@8th Wonder, “Zane…you are aware that you need to be able to write before publishing books, correct?”
LMAO!! You betta tell it!! Amen!
@8th Wonder, Teyana Taylor, your chin is quite aggresive…do the two of you argue often, or just when you’re being photographed?
LMAO, I truly dislike you 8th. how are you gonna call someone’s chin “quite aggressive”, do you know the mental image that gives?
@overit?,
I imagine the image looks very much like Teyana Taylor’s chin, so it seems we’ve come full circle here.
@8th Wonder, i’m navigating away from this page because of YOU.
Randy Jackson – What in the Detroit-Red-Hell do you put in your hair? And can I spray it on tires to fix a slow leak?
David Allen Grier – How long did you REALLY think it would last honestly?
Bob Johnson – Was someone blackmailing you or do just not like us very much? (“us” being black folks)
@Omar, I think I meant Jermaine, what in the hell was I thinkin bout when I said Randy…? *shakes head* *wakes up*
*Gotta give you props for recognizin CIara as a girl in that “oh ” video. Oh boy she looked the best i eva seen her in that video dancin on the car yes yes yes*
My ?’s I always wanted to ask.
Police- am I really innocent till proven guilty?
Jesse Jackson- Do you think black people still like you?
Lil Wayne- whose better baby mama # 1,2,3 or 4?
Soulja Boy – will you ever make a real, serious, political song?
Obama- What it do my ninja? When you gone make trees legal? the country is broke man
MJ- which brother/sister did you like the best?
Pac- who shot you? it was suge huh
Al Sharpton- How you supposed to be all for black people and ya hada perm since i was born?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Soulja Boy – will you ever make a real, serious, political song?”
This is the equivalent of asking the sun when it will stop burning.
@Cheekie,
i mean even mc hammer did “pray” lol
diddy: what do you do with all of the artists whose careers you ruin? do you save them where’s cheri dennis? e. ness and babs bunny? black rob? g. dep? dream (that white girl group)? how did i even remember about dream? when do you plan on being done with day26?
do you store them all in a walk-in closet? hang them on walls? speak of them as those-who-shall-not-be-named?
@Chas,
“how did i even remember about dream?”
I used to bump “He Loves You Not”. LMAO @ my teen brain.
“when do you plan on being done with day26?”
I think that two-tone hairdo Que got done recently (think half regular person, half Sisqo) signifies the beginning of the end:
http://bossip.com/132485/what-is-wrong-with-this-picture-60/
@Cheekie, omg yes i totally forgot about that epic fail. maybe its his version of the cassie/la la/rihanna side cut?
Halle…How do you reeeaaallly feel about winning the oscar for Monster’s Ball?
Jon Voight…how does it feel to have not one but two crazy @ss children?
Which brings me to my next question…Angelina…was Brad really worth cuz I don’t get it *confused*
Forest Whitaker…when are you going to fix what’s going on with the back on your neck..? I’m just sayin…
Shemar Moore…can you clue me in on why so many women think you are fine?
Raphael Saadiq:…Where are Toni and Tony?
@Smiley Face,
I called these folks up and got responses for you. No need to thank me.
Halle…I was ecstatic. I needed the validation.
Jon Voight…The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, he he.
Angelina…Yes. He is worth it. And you will never get it. If you get close to getting it, I will hunt you down.
@V.E.G., LMAO!!
*whispers* I am secretly scared of Angelina…
@Smiley Face,
As you should be. lol. Even though she is twig thin, I think she will fight for her man.
@V.E.G.,
LOL She aint gotta fight, I bet Angie knows the voodoo
@Smiley Face,
“Jon Voight…how does it feel to have not one but two crazy @ss children?”
LOL…who made out in public at that.
Brad Pitt is YUMMY. And he was extra yummy in Benjamin Button when he finally transformed into his regular age. Maybe it was lovely in comparison to him being a wrinkly baby for the duration of the film, but I let out a “dayum” when he was in the water swimming with Cate Blanchett. WOW.
He’s dreamy.
@Cheekie,
Yeah. Brad is on my 2520s who can holla list. But there’s no getting him from Angie. I mean, I can’t fly a plane or anything. lol.
@Smiley Face,
You should also ask Shemar, “As many movies as you’ve been in, dear sir…why are your bottom teeth still fighting for space in the gums?”
Unless he’s had that ish fixed recently.
This question could apply to any number of people (Tiny, Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane, OJ da Ju-man, Plies, etc)
Ummmm, before we begin this conversation, do you come with subtitles???
@This Just In…Like Beyonce..Like Trinaaaaaaahhh, CLASSIC!!!!
Can we add a translator in also?
Eminem – Do you really think that whiny annoying ass voice is cute and/or funny enough to use on an ENTIRE album that (some) people actually spend their money on? Do you realize that is something akin to petty theft?
Tim Burton – Why do you insist on making children’s cartoons with creepy clay animation. I wasted an hour and a half of my life being creeped out by Coraline. Just sayin.
Michael Ealy – When will your fine a** come visit me up in Washington? I been waiting since Barbershop. If you can’t make it here soon, feel free to get yourself on my tv screen as often as possible.
@SaneN85,
“Eminem – Do you really think that whiny annoying ass voice is cute and/or funny enough to use on an ENTIRE album that (some) people actually spend their money on? Do you realize that is something akin to petty theft?”
Word…it really is getting even more ridiculous now. I didn’t mind it way back when his name was Slim Shady and Marshall Mathers, respectively, but the sing-songing in particular is getting on my nerves.
@SaneN85,
Tim Burton scares the hell outta me.
@8th Wonder,
Seriously, I have to question what his parents did to traumatize him as a child and put these creepy a** images in his head. I have had to drop friends who say their favorite movie is Nightmare before Christmas. There is definitely something wrong with a person like that.
One more
Kelly and Michelle – How much do the Knowles pay you to pretend that you are still coo with Bey?
Those other two – Exactly how many televisions have you broken when you have seen Bey on tv or the Say My Name video with your vocals and other female’s faces?
@SaneN85,
“Those other two – Exactly how many televisions have you broken when you have seen Bey on tv or the Say My Name video with your vocals and other female’s faces?”
I truly wanted to be in a fly on the wall of their homes during the debut of that music video.
Questions:
Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em: I got a question, why they hatin’ on you? I got a question, why they hatin’ on you? You ain’t did nothin’ to ‘em, but count yo’ money, and put your crew on now your whole clique stuntin’…now what’s up?
Bria Myles: You do know that you wouldn’t be as dope if you were light-skinned, right?
Mo’Nique: Can you just shut the f*ck up? Forever.
Tiny Cottle: Is English your FIRST language?
@Monk,
“Bria Myles: You do know that you wouldn’t be as dope if you were light-skinned, right?”
Co-signed.
@Monk,
“Bria Myles: You do know that you wouldn’t be as dope if you were light-skinned, right?”
I don’t want to agree with you but I think you’re right. She would be just a common video girl if she was lighter. That aside she is still right. Her face and thickness are amazing.
@Monk, LMAO @ Cottle, why must her last name resemble her face??
Brandy how does it feel to see that your coattail rider RayJ, has a more viable career than you?
@Legendary Dash,
Haha. ‘Tis a shame that she is now, “Ain’t that Ray J’s sister?”. Especially to the younger generations.
@Cheekie, She needs to do a remake of “Wait A Minute”, to make the switching of places complete.
Jermaine Jackson – do you use Soul Glo on your face? Chris Rock was right… you are the greasiest ninja alive! gotta wipe my tv screen off every time you on it…
Mark Sanford – how do you say that you’re trying to work things out with your wife and then give an interview with the associated press, confessing that you will die knowing that you had found your soulmate with your jumpoff?
kanye west – we all say timbs will never go out of style… but they aren’t as popular as they had been in the past. you tryna bring ‘em back?
jay & beyonce – we know y’all married. y’all ever show public affection? bey won an award at the BET awards and you gave jay the friendliest friend hug in the history of friends and hugs… i mean, that hug woulda banished any regular dude to the friend zone immejiatley…
@SouthernCharm,
Jermaine so greasy, the cops can’t catch him (c) Chris Rock
V.E.G. – I will cosign your post, because the females focus on my being light-skinned more than any man does (their usually too busy focusing on my lady lumps to notice or comment on anything else).
Edit: This did not go in the right comment thread.
I almost forgot to ask the question that has been plauging me for years.
Jermaine Jackson…why would you EVER…EVER name your child Jermajesty? Do you like your son? Like, at all?
I promise yall this, if my daddy ever allowed someone to name me Jermajesty, I would dedicate my entire life to making sure every bad thing in the world happened to him. I would lace his shoes incorrectly in the middle of the night, leave rusty nails in the carpets in his bedroom, put food in his back pocket so that squirrels would run up on him relentlessly, put relaxer in his curl kit so that his curl never quite curls, man, I’d be ruthless.
@8th Wonder,
“Jermaine Jackson…why would you EVER…EVER name your child Jermajesty? Do you like your son? Like, at all?”
Oh, right. UGH. That was cringeworthy. The very tradition of naming one’s child, died that day.
@8th Wonder, LOL @ putting food in his back pocket.
I sat here late as hell at the job and read this entire post, stifling my laughter the entire time. I am here to tell you that when I read
“leave rusty nails in the carpets in his bedroom, put food in his back pocket so that squirrels would run up on him relentlessly, put relaxer in his curl kit so that his curl never quite curls, man, I’d be ruthless.”
-I burst into tears. My boss came over to console me had to tell her my cousin is was in the hospital sick. Day off tmrw!!!!!
if it wasn’t for the bass that they have in their songs, I promise I would NEVER, EVER let that stuff play in my cars.
Why do people from other states decide to relocate to another state and then months later decide to bash the location they choose to move to?
Is chivalry really dead?
.