PSA: Love or Something Like It

Mad shots to the homie Maverick for providing quality blog fodder yesterday.  Also, let’s all lick shots for Big Poppa in Heaven.

*licking shots*

One day while out, I happened across a Barack Obama bobblehead doll, so you know I had to cop me one.

Here’s a picture:

Only a Black President could have me putting random Negro look-a-like bobbleheads in front of my flat-screen.

The first thing you may notice about my Obama bobblehead is that it doesn’t actually look like Obama.  I mean its clearly supposed to be Obama, evidenced by him being Black, having a mole, and looking Presidential, but other than that, it’s a random Black cat with the word Obama written out on the bottom.  I really have to wonder how that happened.  I mean, clearly, Obama heads were commissioned and somebody made them – badly – and yet, here we are, with non-look-a-like Obama bobbleheads garnering as much as $29.99.  I guess that by the time they made it to the final approval they were lacking on time and the person who headed up the process was just like f*ck it, send them out.

And I bought one anyway.

Which brings me to my point.  I think people  (actually, I KNOW) that people often have love f*cked the f*ck up for something else.  The whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing brings this to light for me.  I’m not going to dwell on that situation, the other blogs will do that for us, but it does highlight one of quite a few things that folks often misconstrue as love.

1)  Laying of the Hands – and not in the religious sense. Anytime somebody has to lay your a** out in order to show you that they love you, there’s clearly something wrong with them.  Hell, I still feel guilty for beating up my little sister when we were 10 and 7 respectively.  I actually feel sorry for women (and to a lesser extent men) who get caught up in relationships where they are so far gone that they think its okay for their man (or woman) to put hands on them on a whim.  (And I’d like to point out that though I missed that convo last week, if a woman approaches you like a man, and wants to act like a man, she is well within her rights to get treated like a man). Bottom line, they don’t love you if they have to thump you to show you.  They love beating you.  Sad, but true.

2)  On a lighter note, just because somebody spends mad dough on you does not mean that they love you. I’ve spent mad luchi on chicks I KNOW that I didn’t love before.  I was dumb.  Sue me.  If I could do it all over again, I’d buy every random chick a box of Thin Mints and a Shoebox card that says, “you’re great, pull my thumb.”  Money and love aren’t the same thing and shouldn’t be construed otherwise.  Some of the best loves were made of people of simple means.  Like Aladdin and Apu.  Aladdin was broke as the f*ck.  He had a whole song about being broke and what they had was real.  Real love like a 1991 hip-hop soul song.

3)  Somebody who only sees you on their schedule doesn’t really love you. I’ve said this before but I can’t stress this enough.  Main tenet of a good relationship?  Time.  But you know what’s number 2?  WILLFUL AND EXUBERANT INCONVENIENCE. When you really love somebody, you LOVE to go out of your way.  I wrote about this a long time ago using Chappelle’s show “Cambodian Breast Milk” as my lynchpin (that’s a strange word, no?).  Look sister, if your dude only wants to see you when he has “time”, he’s married with 2 children and only likes you because you do that thing with your tongue.  You know what I’m talking about.

And um, keep that up.  It’s probably the only way you’ll keep a man.  Don’t get mad, I’m only being real.

Oh, and this one’s important.

4)  Just because a person makes YOU feel better about yourself doesn’t mean that they love you. Now, it might help you to love them, but truth be told, unless you make them feel better about themselves too, they’re clealry just filling some hole (no pun intended) you were missing on the inside.  To them, you could just be any random person.  They could be your lucky charms, but to them, you might just be some low-fat, low-sugar, fiber-filled cereal.  And best believe, NOBODY likes that sh*t.  If they tell you they do, they’re lying and will put a hit out on your mother in 2 years.

And OF COURSE:

5)  Just because they give you that good sacklovin’, doesn’t mean they actually love you. It means they love to see you naked, and they’re good at naked games.  Love and sacklove should be treated as mutually exclusive.  Trust me.

*****

So good people of VSB, with as much relationships experiences as we all have and have observed, and as a PSA for love-struck f*ckups everywhere, what are some things that people get confused as love?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P

Related posts:

1. PSA: 5 Rules of Public Restroom Etiquette
2. 7 Things That Men Do Because We Love You
3. Why Do You Hate Love, Vol. 5
4. Love Without A Limit?.
5. I’d Love To Stay, But I’ve Got To Go: Ways To Get Out After Going In

Tagged as: love, Obama, relationships