as you’re all very aware of, the very smart brothas of verysmartbrothas.com (as well as liz’s boobs) are committed to fighting crime by utilizing means such as communication enhancement, relationship metacognition, intensive hoodrat reeducation and ho saving to achieve our goals.
subsequently, you’re all probably unaware of the fact that panama and i risk our lives to provide this service, because divulging the type of information we do greatly upsets many people, especially those with neck tats and vowel-less last names
as another example of how committed we are to do and say things you won’t find anywhere else, heres seven things we (men) like much more than you think we do…even though we’ll never, ever publicly admit it
1. gossip
although most (straight) men don’t have bossip bookmarked and probably won’t spend an afternoon in a gmail group chat with our homeboys about why we’re hurt that d-money didn’t tell us about his new jamaican jump-off, we’re just as prone to the gossip bug as the typical woman is.
don’t believe me? well, go to any barbershop and listen in while we discuss the “real reason” why jay-z and dame dash don’t get along anymore or which downtown footlocker chick looks like she gives the best head. still not convinced? take a trip over to espn.com and read the endless thousand comment threads devoted to t.o.’s toenails and lebron and shaq’s first chest bump as teammates
2. romantic comedies
as long as dane cook isnt in it.
plus, to paraphrase bill simmons, what other concrete proof do we have that women are completely insane?
3. commitment
influenced by plummeting marriage rates and oprah’s hips, society has been quick to brand the contemporary man as a largely commitment-phobic monolith too obsessed with himself and his numbers to bother being tied down. we’ve played along with this line of thinking, mainly because no game guarantees guilt free panties better than “i really, really like you, but i’m scared of commitment. i really dont want to get hurt or hurt you”
the thing is, most men aren’t scared of commitment, and we actually welcome it. we’re just scared to death of committing to the wrong person.
4. shopping
whether its shoes, cars, stereo equipment, gas grills, or p*ssy, we like new sh*t just as much as everyone else, and we don’t mind making a trip to a place to purchase what we want. its just that we loathe the concept of shopping as a group and/or all-day activity, which is a diplomatic way of saying “we hate shopping with women”
5. cuddling and sh*t
we all love the cuddle. it keeps us warm, reminds us of how good you smell, and helps us honor our sandbox tenet to do what we can to get as many cheap feels per day as possible.
6. the idea of chivarly
while there are a few bitter ass bastards who’ll bitch about paying for drinks and opening doors and sleeping in the wet spot, the vast majority of men actually enjoy doing gentlemanly sh*t for women, and relish the opportunity to do so. all we ask is that its acknowledged in some form, and depending on the circumstance, a smile, a slight hip shake, or a wake-up bj will do
7. your house clothes
we just dont actually tell you this because we never, ever, ever want you to feel comfortable rocking your sweatpants & birkenstocks past a 14 inch radius of your apartment.
thats it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything? also, ladies, sharing is caring. what sh*t do you secretly like that you have us all fooled about? i have my suspicions (p*rn, being “saved”, 50 cent, etc) but i wanna hear from the source. remember, its all about fighting crime.
—the champ
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{ 273 comments… read them below or add one }
Personally, I hate shopping. I bulk shop about 4-5 times a year. If I must venture into a store, I usually know what I want, go in, power shop and get out. The thought of spending more than 45 minutes in a store gives me hives. Internet shopping is your friend.
As far as what you left off your list I think men secretly like seeing a woman’s hair all mussed. It makes them think of how her hair would look after chex.
On that same note, I think far more men like ‘big’ hair than they care to admit…for the same reason.
The things I think women like (or this woman) that they won’t ever admit:
- a man’s funk. Not offensive, run you out the room funk. But just enough musk to remind you that you are with a man. (this funk should not be smelled on a regular basis. Maybe after chex or something)
- a cocky arse man. Women lie and lie some more when they say they like a down to earth guy. Most women I know love a man with a huge EGO.
- his ashy hands and feet. Though it is annoying when your man can’t properly moisturize, it is also a sign that he needs to be taken care of. Women are nurturers by nature and like this.
@V.E.G.,
I definitely agree with loving a man with a big EGO.
@SimplyMe, i got a biiiiiiiiiiiiig EGO…uh uh uh…
i’ve been confused for a cocky bastard before (who’d a thunk it), and its usually the chicks who SWEAR that they that they hate cocky bastards who i’ve ended up dealing with.
then they just tell their friends
to get with my friends so we can all be friendsthat i have a lot of confidence@Panama Jackson,
There is nothing wrong with a man having a big ego. Confidence is very sexy.
But I can definitely tell (well I think I can) when a man is being TOO cocky to the point where he just seems like a liar and/or arrogant. UGH, can’t stand it.
@V.E.G., Ooooh, I hate shopping too.
@V.E.G.,
speaking for my man-ness the screwed up do goes with the around the house clothes rule listed above. Dont go outside lookin like that.
i make fun of big hair.
@V.E.G., for me its the phermones, Lord when I am attracted to a mans natural scent, it’s ON……….. and then mixed with the smell good, mmmmm it just intoxicatingly arouses me …… vice versa is true also if your natural scent repels me, there will be no happenings at all LOL
Yes I am attracted to confident men with nice size ego’s, thats the only kind thats equipped for moi’…but there is a line there, sometimes a big ego masks insecurities, cause a mofo to overcompensate…….
@OrangeStar616,
Word. I prefer big TALENT with self-assuredness over a big ego. That phrase carries a negative connotation in my head. Like no matter how fly he is, I probably know someone doing it better, so dont get cocky.
@Me fail english?, LLS, true true!!! Nicer descrip…… or BIG ability with etc
@V.E.G., I can only agree with cockinesss. Ash and musk make me want to hurl. I can admit sometimes my babe missing a few spots with the lotion, but me reminding him doesn’t make me feel more like a nurturer, its moreso like “you can’t be out in public looking pasty”. LOL
@V.E.G.,
Do ashy lips count too?
@The Champ,
Do men just let themselves go once a woman shows up? I dont remember you being all ashy and bear-like before. Why the hell do I have to put on your lotion, brush your hair, clip your nails, blow your nose, etc.?
I DO NOT find this chexy at all. I feel like dudes get girlfriends and say “Wipe my arse? FOR WHAT?! I gotsa a girlfriend now.”
Da eff?
@The Champ,
If ashy lips count, I think Gucci Mane might want your numba, V.E.G. That mofo looks like he puts on Carmax: Powdered Donut Edition.
@Cheekie,
Don’t forget Lil’ Boosie…he’s always got ish chillin’ in the corners of his mouth.
Yick.
@miss t-lee,
LMFAO @ his ash chillin’ in the corner of his mouth. Gross.
@Cheekie,
LMAO@ Gucci Mane steppin to V.E.G. in the club on some “Gucci wanna sex ya/tell me is ya inch-isted (interested)”
@Me fail english?,
You are WRONG for having Gucci spittin’ ignant bars at V.E.G.
His lips would glow in the dark at the club like ol’ dude in the Axe commercial with his glowy dandruff.
@Me fail english?,
ebff you are ignant!!! lmao
@Me fail english?,
Dead
@The Champ,
No. Ashy lips DO NOT count
@V.E.G., im NEVER cool with ash. Black men were usually raised by momma or big momma that ownwd the biggest jar of vaseline on the planet. You got greased up before you left the house. Please carry that into adulthood or carry ya ashy a$$ on please…..(aside: men, vaseline is no longer and acceptable means of bodily lubrication…step it up!)
@V.E.G.,
great list Veggie!! i hate shopping too. but mostly becuz im bad at it. i am soooo indecisive its not funny. i prefer to shop alone. becuz i hate me for my long escapades, no need to drag others down with me.
and while i hate ash (light skint folks DO get ashy *smh*), i dont mind a man who is ashy. cuz like you said, he needs to be cared for. i used to lotion my ex bf after he got out the shower. win win for all.
@V.E.G.,
On that same note, I think far more men like ‘big’ hair than they care to admit…for the same reason
i actually do like big hair, but a long as its not straight and sh*t
Oh, you guys aren’t fooling anybody on the gossip front.
@SaneN85, They sure aren’t.
@SaneN85,
Ya know! They ain’t sleek!
@SaneN85,
Word. The only ones I really didnt know was the romantic comedies (you sissiessssss!) and the house clothes.
The res? Well, we just dont throw it in your face cause we dont wanna hurt feelings. We know how sensitive yall get
@SaneN85,
fool deez
@SaneN85, see, i don’t refer to it as gossip. i refer to it as being up on pop culture knowledge.
plus, gossip to me comes with a lot of “gotcha” type sh*t. dudes, we tend to argue sh*t as matter of fact stuff.
@Panama Jackson,
I agree. It’s really just what I call “talkin’ shyt”.
Aaaawwwwww. Champ, if I wasn’t falling for my JoeCleezy look-alike, I would so totally be falling for you right now. That cuddling thing gets me ER’time…
Oh…and I, too, am terrified of committing to the wrong person. Been there, done that, got the divorce papers.
(That knucklehead left me for a stripper.)
@SexyCool,
a real stripper? Wow, this sounds like a premise for a tyler perry screenplay. I’m sorry and sh*t.
@The Champ, it wasn’t already a tyler perry movie???
oh that’s right, Rudy was a ho, not a stripper.
@Panama Jackson,
Actually, I think the term is ‘skripper’
@The Champ,
Yeah. A real one. Although, at the time he met her, apparently, she had taken a leave of absence, but went back to work shortly after he left her for me.
It’s been over 12 years ago. At this point, he and I have even become friends of a sort since the divorce. I rag him all the time about it. “You know you fcked up, right? You know you left me for a skrippa, right? You know you stoopid, right?” And because he just happy I talk to him, he takes his licks. LOL!
This many years later, talking about it almost makes it feel like it happened to someone else. Almost like a TP screenplay and sht.
“the thing is, most men aren’t scared of commitment, and we actually welcome it. we’re just scared to death of committing to the wrong person.”
This might be the single most truthful statement I have ever read on this blog.
Why the jump-off had to be Jamaican Champ? lol
Low key i enjoy watching some pr0n…….
Sometimes i prolong fights on purpose because i know the makeup will be better…..
@JamaicanGirl,
Because most jump-offs are jamaican. Duh
@A-Town Genius,
yeah, man. If you had to rank the top five things grown men are afraid of “committing to the wrong person” is right up there with “prison rape”, “being a loser”, “not being able to satisfy a women you’re really into”, and “having either an extremely unattractive daugher or a good looking hotpants one”
@The Champ, boy, you hitting all the top nightmares there. That wrong person you committed to could be that byetch taking you to the cleaners in divorce proceedings.
@The Champ, did you just write an entire post in 100 words or less??
@Panama Jackson,
LOL, i guess so
@The Champ,
Damn homie, you hit EVERY fear. That covers all of them for me.
Particularly the fine slutty daughter. Would have me in the streets catching cases.
@The Champ,
Why are men so scared of having an ugly daughter? Unfortunate, yeah. But what’s to be afraid of?
@Me fail english?,
That’s what I’m wondering. I mean, if she standing next to you and she don’t look like you, folks ain’t gonna assume she’s your daughter anyhow.
Oh, but they might assume she’s your woman. lmfao
@Me fail english? and Cheekie,
Because its the equivalent of an unathletic son. Ugly women are the bottom of the barrel of society, you would be surprised how poorly (even good) men treat ugly women. Its the same reason old racists don’t want mixed grandkids, because they know how badly they’re treated.
@Dorian G.,
Ugly women are the bottom of the barrel of society, you would be surprised how poorly (even good) men treat ugly wome
yeah. guys know how unattractive women are treated through childhood, and its not something you’d want your child to have to go through
@Dorian G.,
Gotcha. Makes sense.
It also made me sad for society…
Hatred of shopping has to be a 2520 guy thing. OK, we all hate shopping with women (stuck with them forever, their judgmental ways, etc.). But buying gadgets, digging in the crates, finding new gear to get dipped in, brothers love that…so of course we love shopping.
I’ll have to add daytime soaps to the list. It’s not that far of a reach, since wrestling and comic books basically call for the same following of plodding storylines contained within immediate dilemma-of-the-day plots. Baseball players are known to watch them before games. My cousin and one of my boys, as far from gay as a man could possibly be, both happened to follow One Life To Live.
Another is shows like 90210 and The OC. I admit to The OC, that was a funny show.
Being all vain and sh*t. Not on a metrosexual tip (though damn near)…but we concern ourselves with how we look. We’re only rough, rugged and raw when we need to be…otherwise, we’re tryna keep the kit crispy clean.
Buying for chicks we like…getting too far into sold not told territory, so I’ll stop here.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Ya know I’ve never caught the day-time soap bug, but on occassion, one may sneak up on me and catch me watchin’ “The View” or even “Oprah”. Sometimes the topics or guests are interesting and sometimes I just wanna know what’s some of the garbage is out their that these shows are peddling to the female population.
@Monk, it’s funny about The View and Oprah. The darnedest people, including many that guys care about, go on The View. And shows guys watch and listen to comment on stuff said on The View. So The View is given a pass. Now I still think Oprah is for broads, but if I was a famous guy, I would love to go on there…that Oprah Effect is one hell of a co-sign.
@Monk,
I used to watch the view just to see if rosie could get any more butch.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Another is shows like 90210 and The OC. I admit to The OC, that was a funny show.”
I thought it was the funniest thing when I realized back in HS that my older brother was watching 90210 and Melorose Place just as hard as I was…lmao
Now we be talking about Grey’s Anatomy.
@miss t-lee, hell, I knew ninjas who sold dope that watched Sex & The City. And I consider that right there with Grey’s Anatomy and Friends in the “pushing it” category.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“‘pushing it’ category”
did you mean this literally or figuratively?
@Unanimous, hmmm, you might be on to something.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I think my bro likes the drama…since his life is perpetually drama filled…lol
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Ha! Dont forget yall be liking Real Housewives and Bridezilla too. My bf won’t let me tivo it in his living room for fear that his boys’ll come over for the Sunday game and Nene will magically appear on screen. But you best believe that ish is on and poppin on the bedroom tivo!
@Me fail english?, I don’t be liking nothing like that, LOL…
though I did watch Starting Over once in my life@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Oh no! I would’ve made fun of you for that. Even I couldnt get with Iyanla and I’m a woman.
@Me fail english?,
LMAO!!! That took me back, where they heyll is Iyanla? She was all over the scene for a hot minute and then nothing. I guess once Oprah’s done with you, you’re done. LOL
@miss t-lee,
LOL. Oprah put that where? Back THERE!
womp, womp on her life.
@Me fail english?,
I just googled her for sh*ts and giggles and her wiki page is sooo sad.
@Me fail english?,
Ha! Dont forget yall be liking Real Housewives and Bridezilla too.
i think you can chalk this one up to “things me fail’s boyfriend likes that arent really universal”
@The Champ,
Chalk deez!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Lol at “far from gay” like “gay” is an exploding death star and your cuz and boy are speeding away from it like the millenium falcon
@The Champ, Millennium Falcon reference FTW!
Speaking of gay, I wonder which is harder for us to admit to between shows that get the chick tag and those that get the gay tag?
LOL, gay tag repairman…sorry, I’m on that goofy this morning.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Speaking of gay, I wonder which is harder for us to admit to between shows that get the chick tag and those that get the gay tag?
this is a great question, and maybe a future vsb topic
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, i’m not ashamed to admit that i still watch 90210. every tuesday my azz is right there at 8pm.
melrose place though? not so much.
and i WAS watching The Hills and Laguna Beach, but only b/c of Lauren Conrad b/c i think she’s hot as hell.
@Panama Jackson, the new Melrose Place is pretty good. I think I might like it better than 90210 now…betweent those two and Gossip Girl CW is kinda on point! lol
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I used to be into Dawson’s Creek back in the day. Showing my age with that.
@Big Man, I don’t imagine Dawson’s Creek followers being that old, not even over 25.
If you had said Knots Landing or Falcon Crest or some sh*t, all bets would be off.
@Big Man,
*daps fellow Dawson’s Creek fan*
I’m a girl, though so…yeah. But if a nicca watches and then proceeds to use one of those 14-syllable words they loved on that show? Turn-on!
@Big Man, “I used to be into Dawson’s Creek back in the day. Showing my age with that.”
Man, the whole football team in high school decided that watching Dawson’s Creekw as not gay . . . then decided to talk about it . . . I still think that sh!t was hilarious . . . watching chick flicks . . . passing a referendum . . . all is good . . . I used to fukk wit it too though . . .
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
funny you mention soap operas. my dad doesn’t like Grey’s Anatomy becuz he said it’s too soap opera-y and that’s for sisses. yet he watches Project Runway with my mom every week. and if they have to miss it they DVR it.
and like your cousins, my dad is as far from gay as a man can get.
@Gem of the Ocean,
LOL. This is adorable. My hyper-masculine father (we call him a grizzly bear behind his back) watches “Dance Your Ass Off”. He even forms little opinions about who he thinks should win.
Hearing his overly aggressive, ghetto ass growl things like “Ya know Mary really slimmed down since last week” melts my heart.
@Me fail english?,
lol @ mary really slimmed down since last week
What I secretly like about you guys…
1. That you can quote sports stats all the way back to four minutes and 13 seconds after you were born.
2. The draws that you wear that should be thrown away.
3. The way your kisses taste after you’ve been drinking beer.
4. Your strong silence – yeah, I might say I want you to talk more, but dammit, my girlfriends talk enough. When I’m with you, I just want to soak up you, your scent, your essence, your strength.
And I could go on…but, er um…just decided I needed to cuddle with my Cleezy.
Chunkin’ up da dueces!
@SexyCool,
I thought I was the only one re: #3! I will NOT drink a beer, but love to kiss a beer drinker…judge not
@EbonyI,
Me too! Although I will drink a beer dependning on what’s available.
@Me fail english?
Heine Light drinker, represent the thinker LOL…thats MY beer!!! dayum yummy!!!…*sidenote* I always thought brawds who drank beer were just extra cool, shout out to my great aunt Mamie, her beer Strols, aunt Shirley, and God motha Bernadine both drink Miller LOL
@EbonyI,
see i dont drink beer nor do i like when a guy i’m dating smells of beer. i dont even like the taste of his beer kisses. but that still doesnt stop me from wanting to kiss his nasty beer breath having self endlessly.
@Gem of the Ocean,
I’d like to add that kissing fresh beer breath is nothing like having stale @ss liquor breath slobbed all over you. BLECH!
@SexyCool,
That quoting stats thing is real. I love sports and i can regurgitate some stuff if needed, but dammit when dudes literally know what shoe size Tony Kukoc was wearing in the 1994 playoff season…..That’s hot.
@Captain Morgan,
actually that in particular is 93 percent gay, but I see your point
@The Champ,
noted.
“sleeping in the wet spot” lol!
@VeronicaCorningstoneD,
I like the wet spot…it cools me off.
@atltx,
Lol, that’s like saying “I actually love when she’s on her period. It gives me time to practice my masturbation technique
@The Champ,
While you bullshitin…that is the perfect time for medulla oblongata practice…I love women…you all are the greatest!
@atltx,
“While you bullshitin…that is the perfect time for medulla oblongata practice”
right.
or, you could just be like “f*ck it, it’s just blood” and still have sexgood list! I’m sharing a link post comment.
hmmm…as far as what I like… Ion’t know…i’ll get back to you.
@Ro,
link-post comment?
oh wait, do you mean link, post-comment?
i love number 5
@h3avensent08,
I love lamp
@The Champ, on the list of greatest comebacks for sh*t, “i love lamp” is definitely in my top 10.
i say that at least 3 times a day, including one time i said it to my boss after she said she liked a revision i came up with.
@The Champ,
I love lamp
*DEAD* You are on a roll with a side of slaw with the comebacks today!
Say what .. naw my homie… your on your own with that one. lol
@Selah,
and this was supposed to be a reply to VeronicaCorningstoneD. boo.
“we’re just scared to death of committing to the wrong person. ”
So are we women.
Anywho….
1.) You got to coordinate – Men (gay or straight) love to get dressed as much as women do. Men love to match their shirts to jeans to kicks AND they LOVE accessories too! Glasses, hats, (ear)/rings, watches, etc. Be real dudes, y’all love to look in a mirror as much as we ladies.
2.) Driving – Men like to complain that they do all the driving around town and on long trips, or say its because you hate the way women drive which may have some validity but really I think y’all like the “ironman” quality of being able to knock out a 10-hour drive by yourself.
3.) Dancing* – Look, y’all may like to post up on a wall or by the bar and look like you’re above it but y’all like being out on that dance floor as much as the ladies and I’m not just talking about easy dances with one basic step like “Lean Back” “Swag Surfin’” or “Ricky Bobby” y’all like to try the complicated stuff out too. (And yes, some women DO equate your moves on the floor to the bedroom. I’m one of them.)
4.) Kids – I think everybody likes kids that are related to them and hates ones that aren’t. (Especially kids that you’re related to and can send back to their parent eventually.) I also think men like playing little games (Peek-a-boo, Tickle Monster), watching Dora or playing outside with kids just as much as women. Also, I think they want kids just like women do, most men want a little boy they can turn into “Mini-Me”s.
There are my opinions. Thank you for asking.
* Video bonus from Madame Z (it gets deep 30 seconds in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLQMpQTayfQ
@Madame Zenobia,
I really don’t like driving..so much so I no longer own a car but My girl road rages so Its better I drive or she may do that vehicular manslaughter thing. As far as long distance trips she is probly the only woman I can trust driving that won’t have to stop for something every five minutes or give me that “I’m gonna die a horrible death” feeling.
corrdination is key. I do hate dancing but I don’t mind being danced on.I like kids but I don’t like all kids. Some people’s kids need beatings and if I’m within arms reach I’ll do it if you don’t so keep them away.
@Deviant,
I agree with the driving thing. There are 3 women in the world that I could sleep in their car while they drive, my momma, my aunt and my girl. My girl honks the horn too much & cusses too many folk out when driving in the city
@Madame Zenobia,
***citing numbers 1, and 3 as signs that madame zenobia dates 21 year old men that are either from harlem or jacksonville, florida***
@The Champ,
Haha. Yeah, I’m actually turned off by a man who looks like he put too much effort into coordinating an outfit. In my experience, these dudes have a lotta bitchassness radiating off of their person.
@Madame Zenobia, since i had a kid, i’ve been almost amazed at how many of my boys are excited by my kid. like, even the most hardcore of cats (and i know some straight criminal style ninjas) go into “do anything to see the baby girl smile” mode. its quite funny to see somebody i know commited a capital offense no less than two days prior go into bliss at the site of a baby. extra points for straight G’z trying to help me with my swaddle technique. word.booty.
@Panama Jackson,
gangstas love inducing a baby’s smiley face
@Madame Zenobia, “1.) You got to coordinate – Men (gay or straight) love to get dressed as much as women do. Men love to match their shirts to jeans to kicks AND they LOVE accessories too! Glasses, hats, (ear)/rings, watches, etc. Be real dudes, y’all love to look in a mirror as much as we ladies. ”
If I could wear a giants jersey, basketball shorts, durag and tims all day long and still get women and not get fired I would . . . and I dont remember the last time I matched jeans to a shirt . . . sounds like some cross colour sh!t . . .
Driving . . . I dont think thats a thing that men don’t say. I do not like to drive but if I have to be in a driving situation I’d rather be the one doing the driving.
Dancing . . . ehh . . . Im a salsero so thats not really a problem in my cultural subset . . . but i will not be solja boyin . . .chacha sliding . . . or electric sliding (unless the grandmother forces my hand at a family function) so I can feel you on that one.
Kids . . . . again . . . .ehh . . . I don’t like most kids . . . they are bad and they get away with sh!t I would have gotten my @ss whooped for. . . though . . . I do admit, when I have mine I will be that guy . . . but then again, has not happened yet.
@IVR,
A man electric sliding with his grandma is too cute. Make sure you do this in front of the single women at the next wedding!
1) A man who sticks to his guns in an argument
If a man is right during an argument..he should stick to that. What can I say? I definitely like when he puts me in my place. LOL. (if need be) — I won’t tell HIM that tho.
2). When a man is in desperate need of a shape-up…the beard/goatee is cool for just me to see. Even if just for a lil bit.
umm, thats all i can think of right now.
@SimplyMe,
“If a man is right during an argument..he should stick to that. What can I say? I definitely like when he puts me in my place. LOL. (if need be) — I won’t tell HIM that tho.”
Co-sign. I like to be ‘checked’, told when I am taking it too far and a man who sets boundaries is hawt. But I’d never tell a guy that.
@V.E.G., I like it too. but only if he’s really right–I’ll take the L. I shut up, but when he leave I be talking again.
@Reecie,
LMAO!
@Reecie, chalk that up as a thing that Panama loves –
chicks who quote movies as a part of random everyday conversation. double points if you do it at a conference to the white group of people and the only person who realizes its a movie quote is the other Black person there.
after which you go up to them and say, “you aiiiiiiin’t slick. let’s go get to sizzler.”
@Panama Jackson,
@Panama Jackson,
Yep. Or random hip hop song lyrics preferably old school or gangsta rap. That’s sexy.
@Reecie,
I shut up, but when he leave I be talking again.
lmao yes!!!
@V.E.G. & @SimplyMe,
double co-sign. i can be outta order. and many times i’m dead wrong but wont admit it. so being right-ed by my dude is a turn on.
@V.E.G.,
See, you about to make me go see if MyCleezy can get away for some lunchtime lovin’.
He is the type that will let me go off on my little tangents and then politely ask if I’m finished, then lays down the law.
I am going to marry this man and LOVE submitting to him. Seriously.
Not copping to anything on this list, cuz, um….
1. It’s not ‘gossip’, it’s ‘research’.
2. No.
3. I have yet to commit to a city, a school, or a cell phone contract, so yeah…
4. I go in, grab, and leave, not much for browsing, or gadgets. My cell phone still has an antenna.
5. Cuddling? Really, Champ?
6. Hey, if I didn’t make the wet spot, I won’t be sleeping in it. I’ll grab a towel though.
7. I’m usually not around to see that look, so it doesn’t affect me either way.
thisismystoryandimstickingtoit.
@Maximillian,
***sending a mexican minivan full of more people maximillian’s way***
@The Champ, LOL, I’m willing to bet it’s an old Toyota.
@The Champ,
Why must you be so foolish?
@The Champ,
a minivan full?? dang. thats a whole county’s worth of messicans. a prius full would have been more than ample.
“i really, really like you, but i’m scared of commitment. i really dont want to get hurt or hurt you”
I hear that! No really…I hear that about once biweekly, even tho I’ve stopped bringing it up. But I’ve recently decided I’m just gonna MAKE him commit to me. Lol
Anyway…I love it when I catch my man checkin out another girl. It’s a huge boost to my ego that he actually notices beautiful women and still chooses me
I love when he gets jealous. Not psychotic. Just a little territorial.
Choosin his boys over me. Sometimes. I love that loyalty amongst men
And that scruffy “mountain man” look.
@Imperfect, “I love when he gets jealous. Not psychotic. Just a little territorial. ”
me too.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yeah. It is quite sexy when another guy is trying to chat you up and your boo walks up and puts his arm around your waist or kisses you.
@V.E.G., whats sexier, is for my dude to watch son get shot down, graciously tho, but him just knowing and trusting me and the lil ego boosts he gets from that whole exchange…….
@OrangeStar616,
haha. I like that too! My man’s not even worried. I LOVE that he isnt even concerned. Its the “I know she knows better” not the “If she leaves me, oh well”. Cuz the latter would hurt my feelings
@OrangeStar616, CO-SIGN!! LOL…if we’re out, Mr Mister’ll just look and watch homeboy get turned down gracefully and I’ll see him with that lil smirksmile he does as I walk back to him.
@V.E.G., Exactly… I’d much rather him be suttle about it, than walk up WILDIN’ OUT. lol
@Imperfect, ya know…i’ve tried to be the jealous boyfriend before. it so didn’t work.
i think i watched too many blaxploitation flicks and read too many iceberg slim novels or something. my pimp hand is way strong.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL. So you was smackin bishes?
@Me fail english?, i can neither confirm or deny those fallacious accusations.
LOL @ sleeping in the wet spot! Best believe I’m getting a wake up bj after that!
Mani/Pedis – it’s only natural, we like to look good too. Nobody, dudes included, want their toenails looking like Edward Scissorhands’.
Going ‘Downtown’ – feeds on a dudes ego when that hurricane tongue drives shorty bananas.
Massages – getting rubbed up and down by a Swedish hottie, who’s not down with that. And it ends even happier if you head down to Koreatown.
Chocolate – Sh*t, we like it too.
@Da Iceman,
I was going to list going downtown, but I don’t know if guys are still afraid to admit that they do that, at least guys past 22. I will say, though, that I think we enjoy that (and the reaction) a lot more than they think we do.
Btw, we all know about the swedish massuse. Sh*t, tiger woods married one of them, lol
@The Champ, LOL yea what can you do about the young bucks. They’ll find out in due time.
Tiger knows the deal, who are we to disagree. He’s the most ballingest athlete there is right now and he chose Swedish. He coulda bagged Halle but he knows…
@Da Iceman, New York City has ruined the term “bananas” forever. Especially Ashanti (who would get it BTW).
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, A lot of terms get ruined in NYC. Ballin’ and Jump Off come to mind. Co-sign, Ashanti would most definitely get it.
@Da Iceman,
I completely agree that a man shud get a mani/pedi. there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe not every week, but once a month or so. Why not??
@SimplyMe, still aint gettin one…why i own toe and hand nail clippers, cut em after a shower
@tempsoner,
LOL. alright fine fine. you dont have to. But it makes them look niiice! the cuticles get cut…if u have a low nail, they look even and not crazy. *sigh* its alright.
Sweetheart, 1 – 6 are the Worst.Kept.Secrets.Ever… As for #7, I’m only shocked that it wasn’t amended to only being inclusive of boy shorts & a tank top when you proofread. Oh yeah, methinks y’all likey the random endearments we call you, even in mixed company… a subtle proprietary gesture never hurt nobody.
And regarding your suspicions? (p*rn,
being “saved”, 50 cent,etc) Hmm you may be onto a lil sumthin there. Throw in an ability to verbally spar with me till I hush up ‘n a tad bit of inappropriate touching in public and I’m in full crush mode…@bittersweet’s baby,
***reminding self to seat bittersweet next to my tourette’s striken cousin at the vsb bbq because she won’t mind his inappropiate boob touching and random ass smacks***
Secret Likes:
1. How you guys get in a group and start talking sports stats.. I have no clue what you are saying but it’s sexy.
2. A man who tells me what to do is such a turn on…. (let’s not get it twisted- No Ike)
@Nicki Sunshine,
“A man who tells me what to do is a turn on”
even if he says “turn deez”?
@The Champ, LMAO.. naw, he doesn’t even have to ask me that, I’m already on the job.
***”smiley face with a tongue cause I’m nasty” Tre Songs LOOKIN ****
@Nicki Sunshine,
LMAO.. naw, he doesn’t even have to ask me that, I’m already on the job.
lol, turning deez without permission actually seems quite painful
@Nicki Sunshine,
#2…i recently discovered that. it is “the” muthafuggin hotness. and i’ve been told i follow instruction WELL. yay me!
1. Football
2.Beer and Bourbon. I really really really love beer – so much that I went to Oktoberfest in Munich and drank myself into a stupor while wearing a dirndle surrounded by more white people than a person should ever be surrounded by (even a white person). And I love bourbon and gingerale as if it had raised me, but i feel so un-ladylike when everyone else orders cosmos and whiskey sours and ridiculous-@ss sh!t of the like. Give me Hoegaarden or Knob Creek, or give me death!
3. Blood and guts…although District Nine almost made me lose my pad thai…
4. Cleaning up after you
5. Letting you take the lead sometimes….most of the time…
6. Porn….I´m single and instead of tossing random ninjas, I´d rather get my jollies watching Jayda Fire and Monica Mattos do it! I keep my numbers low, but yet keep my lady parts happy.
@GabbyTime,
Knob Creek? A woman that orders a good quality drink always catches my attention.
@GabbyTime,
“Cleaning up after you”
MeFail’s Note: This does not extend to flipping the mattress, cleaning blinds or cleaning the oven. He can do that BS himself. And THAT is why I’ll never tell him any of this.
@Me fail english?,
pirate hooker??? LMAO!
@Me fail english?,
HA!
No you didn’t call that woman a pirate hooker. Like, she walking around talmbout, “Arrrr, free booty for sale, matey!”. *dying*
@Cheekie,
*DEAD*
Cant e’en bele’e you bout to get my asz fired in here.
@Cheekie,
What got me is that something free is for sale.
@kamakula,
HAHA…exactly. I imagine my pirates riding the short bus.
@Cheekie,
Pirates, plural? I love how there are several of them and the ride a little bus through your mind!
@me fail english?,
HAHA, yup, plural. I think ALL pirates are a few crayons short of the crayon box. They seem…special. I mean, what else explains them spontaneously screaming out, “ARRRR!”?
@Cheekie,
rotflmao@ free booty…matey
@Me fail english?,
did he find her on whore island?
@The Champ,
No. But he was gonna punch her in the ovaries.
LOL…good list Champ LLS…….
ever hung around dudes and or had good male friends and you should know all these things LOL..he11 yeah some dudes have more 411 than the average brawd LOL
Now what we like..
submission- I just cannot submit to anyone, only a man that really qualifies as one, being divinely created as a helpmate I think alot us long to fullfill that role, its just so few possess leading man abilities, and I know I’m not gonna let you take the reins if you don’t know where the fu-snickens you going, and/or you lack leading man capabilities………take charge and dominate, and not just in the bedroom but remember the best leaders are also servents, not controlling a-holes.
@OrangeStar616, “submission- I just cannot submit to anyone, only a man that really qualifies as one, being divinely created as a helpmate I think alot us long to fullfill that role, its just so few possess leading man abilities, and I know I’m not gonna let you take the reins if you don’t know where the fu-snickens you going, and/or you lack leading man capabilities………take charge and dominate, and not just in the bedroom but remember the best leaders are also servents, not controlling a-holes.”
That is the truth.. I do and will take that S off my chest if needed.
@OrangeStar616,
“I’m not gonna let you take the reins if you don’t know where the fu-snickens you going, and/or you lack leading man capabilities”
Pre-zackly. I dont even mind if a man doesnt see or know it all, but if you think Im giving up control to you on some isht you dont know better than me…try somebody else.
@OrangeStar616,
Chu’ch!
I agree with all of this except the romantic comedies. I can’t stand them they are all cornball to me
@Deviant,
“You are fibbing, fibbing, FI-bbiiiiiiiiing!”*
*Don’t act like you don’t remember that episode of Duck Tales
@Unanimous,
I remember EVERY episode of Ducktales,
and aint nobody lyin
@Deviant, “I agree with all of this except the romantic comedies. I can’t stand them they are all cornball to me”
I dont know . . . I can admit it here . . . love actually is my sh!t and I been waiting for showtime to get their game up . . .sex and the city I can’t mess with, just seems like the story of a buncha hoe$ running around . . . thats not entertaining . . . unless I run into them . . . on a drunk night lol
@IVR,
Love Actually total rocks!!!!! one of my fave movies
@Gem of the Ocean,
Same here! I’d say it’s a GREAT romantic comedy to watch for men who don’t usually do romantic comedies. It has its sappiness, but it ain’t typical.
#1. The barbershop is a free fire zone. No one and nothing is off limits. It’s an establishment where (mostly black) men go and be themselves. I cut my own hair and I still try to get in a barbershop at least once a month.
Actually its not so much gossip as theorizing. We have a theory on everything even if it’s factually untrue.
2. Negative. I tolerate them but do not like them. I live movies where things blow up and people get shot up….and sci fi.
3. that last sentence was truth. Pure and uncut. We all know or have boys who have divorced. It is unsettling to hear them speak about marriage.
4. I think man shopping is a very different animal from woman shopping. The length is generally short and it’s very focused. You and your boy came to get some new kicks, the Xbox 360 Elite that just went on sale, some cufflinks that match with your tie, etc. Once you accomplished the mission, let’s get somethin to eat and look at the fine women…or back and watch the game.
5. I agree for very different reasons.
6. I didn’t realize buying drinks was part of chivalry now?
7. I have to more or less agree. Can’t have her walkin out lookin like she got evicted 15 seconds ago.
I would say men actually do like when….
their woman is in their s**t because it shows that she does care about you. Obviously, we only realize that much much later after the argument (and make up chex) have ended.
That’s all I have for now.
@Stank-0, its gossiping dear LMAO and both sexes like someone who is an equal but more like a counterpart, who isn’t afraid to call you on your sh*t and or ain’t intimidated cause of x,y, and z……checkmate = very very sexy, again not everyone is capable
@OrangeStar616,
I have to disagree but I think men are throwing somethin out there to get a disagreement. I don’t think it’s gossiping per se.
Now men do gossip but I don’t think it is gossip in this particular context.
An example of male gossiping:
Man A: So how is so-and-so doin, I ain’t seent him in a minute?
Man B: You ain’t know, he and his S.O. had a falling out.
A: What happened?
B: blah, blah, blah
*entering gossip zone*
A: You know she’s a garden tool, right? My boy from (HBCU school name or small @ss school in the middle of nowhere) told me she smutted the football, basketball, baseball, tiddly winks, and chess teams and 3 wanna be trapstars…in one weekend.
B: Yeah, she look like she been ran through.
A: I heard her mama/sister/friend, etc. is fine. What’s up on that?
@Stank-0, LLS!!!
@OrangeStar616,
LLS? My acronym game needs work.
@Stank-o,
I wasn’t up on the “LLS” acronym, either. I did some digging and I think it stands for Laughing Like Sh*t.
…
o_O
@Stank-0,
I would have to disagree with your disagreement. There’s no way I would use the words “tiddly winks”.
…that’s 48.9% ghey.
@Stank-0,
“6. I didn’t realize buying drinks was part of chivalry now? ”
I consider it to be. I mean, you don’t HAVE to do it. It’s a nice gesture. Sure it may be just a way to get in the lady’s pantalones, but you could also say that about opening a door for her, pulling out her seat, etc.
@Cheekie,
I agree. Anytime a man extends himself like that I think it’s chivalrous.
And yes, some men like to over-rationalize things and find a way to weasel out of being chivalrous. Young punks!
@Cheekie,
I have to disagree here. I was taught by the parental units to open doors, pull out chairs for the womenfolk.
We never got arount to buyin dranks. I’m not tryin to go down this alley because we’ve been there before.
@Stank-0, and Cheekie yes LLS does mean Laughin Like Sh*t!
@Stank-0,
I actually think buying drinks — while seen as chivalrous — is designated only for that special lady you’re actually interested in. Not every single woman you encounter. Men open doors for ladies regardless if they’re interested like that. That said, it may be on another level, but I think think it’s a chivalrous gesture.
Secret likes?
being checked
pron (not a secret, really…lol)
refusing to argue with me
thinking it’s cute when I’m upset
slight jealously
watching football all day Sunday
the way that ya’ll talk all that hard junk out in public, but when it’s one on one it’s a completely different story.
hahah!!! *jadakiss laugh*
@miss t-lee, “the way that ya’ll talk all that hard junk out in public, but when it’s one on one it’s a completely different story.”
This gets me every single time….
@Complex Simplicity,
Gotta love it.
@miss t-lee,
co-sign your entire list, ^5
@EbonyI,
Thank ya ma’am.
@miss t-lee, hahah!!! *jadakiss laugh*
lmao, i do this at least once bi-weekly.
@overit,
LOL!!!! I was just listening to the “By My Side” song with him and Ne-Yo…that laugh is addictive.
@miss t-lee,
“thinking it’s cute when I’m upset”
Haha. I secretly like when my boyfriend laughs at me and tells me to “Shut up” . He usually gives me a peck immediately after right on the lips to make sure I literally cant talk. I usually stop being mad at that point. Now that I think about it, he must be doing it cuz he knows it works.
“watching football all day Sunday”
This is cute. He looks like a baby stretched out in his big chair in his sleep/gym clothes all day. Also, I get to bring him and friends snacks and drinks and nag them about using the coasters (which I also secretly enjoy).
@Me fail english?,
Yeah…it’s hard to be mad it they shut you up with a kiss…lol
@Me fail english?, “Haha. I secretly like when my boyfriend laughs at me and tells me to “Shut up” . He usually gives me a peck immediately after right on the lips to make sure I literally cant talk.” I love this!
@miss t-lee,
“pron (not a secret, really…lol)”
I bet this ain’t really a secret for at least 75% of women. I’m holding back with that percentage too.
“being checked”
I secretly like this too. It reminds me of The Game when Tasha (Tasha MACK!) was neck-rollin and screamin’ at Rick Fox (Rick. Fox.) and they he checked the hell outta her. She squeaked, “Yes, Daddy”. LMFAO. Love it.
@Cheekie,
“It reminds me of The Game when Tasha (Tasha MACK!) was neck-rollin and screamin’ at Rick Fox (Rick. Fox.) and they he checked the hell outta her. She squeaked, “Yes, Daddy”. LMFAO. Love it.”
That’s the best way to describe it too.
Oh yeah I think that pron percentage is a bit higher too, ’cause you know, nice girls don’t watch that kinda stuff. *sarcasm*
@Cheekie,
I loved that episode of The Game.
Rick told her “I’m Rick Fox” and she was all “ok daddy”.
Classic.
@V.E.G.,
Yeah, that was definitely classic. And what makes it so great is the Tasha squeaky voice when she calls him daddy. HAHA! Put her in her place! I actually think a LOT of strong-headed women like her secretly like that. Because it takes a helluva man to do it.
this was a good list. I enjoyed reading it. I already knew most of it but its cool to see it affirmed.
@Reecie,
Affirm deez
It took me by surprise the first time my man had some gossip I didn’t already know about. He is definitely the strong silent type and it shocked the he11 outta me when (not looking away from the game) he was like “ayo, you heard about kloe kardashian?” I was like WTF! but it was cute
@SxyScientst,
I think the kardashians are the only “gossipy” topic a man can publicly name drop without sounding suspect (no amechi)
@The Champ,
But it has to be within the context of the athlete they with, or her aSSets.
“most men aren’t scared of commitment, and we actually welcome it. we’re just scared to death of committing to the wrong person.”
this was the realest part of your post. i have never had a problem committing to a woman but committing to the wrong woman is such a big fear of mine.
i don’t know you came up with the idea that chivalry was dead. i think a few bad apples spoiled the bunch in this situation. my mother raised me to be a gentleman and i have never wavered from that thus far in my life. most of my friends are gentleman as well, so i don’t understand where this stigma came from.
oh yeah stop hating on dane cook too. i think dude is hilarious. my best friend’s girl was a cool movie too. lol
@Tunde,
“i don’t know you came up with the idea that chivalry was dead.”
Some kats act like it is. On that extra hard “I ain’t opening a door for no b*tch” kinda thing. They fail to realize that little things like that will take you much further than good looks and charm.
@miss t-lee,
“On that extra hard “I ain’t opening a door for no b*tch” kinda thing. ”
what these kind of men (using the word loosely) fail to realize is that they shouldn’t be doing because they want something or they’re doing someone a favor. they should be doing it because it’s the right thing to do.
@Tunde,
Exactly.
You were raised right. Sadly, so many are not.
@Tunde, Dane Cook has his days. I stand by his set on Dave Attell’s Insomniac Tour (Dave himself and Greg Giraldo kill on every set they do)…but some others left me cold.
Good list, Champ!!
Things I secretly like
thought I don’t think it’s a secret1. beer–It’s the only thing I can drink while watching the game. A glass of wine, or a martini just doesn’t seem appropriate for Buckeyes Football.
2. WWF/E–I used to love wrastlin’. Triple H, Stonecold, The Rock, The Undertaker, Kane (with the mask), and let’s not forget the old school…Rick Flair, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Bret The Hitman Hart, etc.
3. video games
4. shopping by me darn self, or shopping with my homeboy. I hate shopping with other women. That’s b/c when I really shop, I am going in to purchase specific things, not just to look around for something to buy.
@N.I.A. naturally,
“. WWF/E–I used to love wrastlin’. Triple H, Stonecold, The Rock, The Undertaker, Kane (with the mask), and let’s not forget the old school…Rick Flair, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Bret The Hitman Hart, etc.”
I still do. Been a fan from the NWA days…Junkyard Dog, Ravishing Rick Rude and the Von Erichs. Mayne…that was our Saturday evening entertainment growing up.
@miss t-lee,
My friend & I went to a baseball game this summer and this fool was all hype about seeing Mankind. I was like “Who?”
And how u gon be all excited. Like Mankind, got better isht to do these days than watch the Yankee game.
@Me fail english?,
Mankind had like 50-11 aliases when he was wrestling…hahah
@N.I.A. naturally,
“let’s not forget the old school…Rick Flair, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Bret The Hitman Hart, etc.”
i used to watch wrestling way back in the day. my dad used to let us skip out early on church on sundays so we could watch wrestling live at us airways arena. i might be telling my age but i don’t consider these old school. i feel like the bumblebees, george the animal steel, ricky “the dragon” steamboat, “superfly” jimmy snuka, etc. were all old school.
@Tunde,
lol. I was born in ’82, so the late 80′s/early 90′s is old for me. lol. But, I have heard of a few of those guys, and if I squint my eyes, and think really hard, I think I can remember seeing them…. And I did say etc…..
@N.I.A. naturally, well you should remember them too. lol i was born in fall of 81. maybe i just got into wrestling at an earlier age.
@Tunde,
maybe i just got into wrestling at an earlier age.
Probably. the only reason I started watching it was b/c my dad wanted someone to watch with him after my brother went off to college….
Men dont shop. Period. We just go and purchase things and leave. Wouldnt call that shoppin
@Peysonic Temple,
You know you just can’t walk into a store and just purchase a suit, or just purchase shoes….
@N.I.A. naturally,
…unless you plan on coming back to make an exchange. lol
@N.I.A. naturally,
true but we go by ourselves to do this we don’t make people wait on us
@N.I.A. naturally,
Yes you can. I wear 42 L, I’m an L in most T-shirts and polos, I’m a 36 waist and I wear 11 in dress shoes, 11.5 in kicks.
I ain’t seen a dressing room in years.
@Peysonic Temple,
Heh, heh. I be seein yall all in the Best Buy, fondling the merchandise. Dont get me started on how dudes loiter all in the damn cigar shop. Uh, sir…are you looking for a free sample or some shet? Move on!
I was on line like 5 minutes (a long time when you’re expecting to run in and out) tryna buy my Dad’s bday box and this fool is yap, yap, yappin in front. Grrrr
@Me fail english?,
SAY THAT!!! He says he’s going to Best Buy I KNOW he ain’t coming back no time soon, lol, and when he does come back, he’s all hyper talmbout “baby…they had this 52 inch 1080p on sale for xyz with lmnop financing for 12 months and THEN guess what…” this is where I tune out and just start nodding my head .
@Smiley Face,
Awww. That’s adorable seeing their little eyes light up about their gadgets. Yeah I be tuning it out mostly. But I love a dude who’s not on his constant Billy Dee, acting too cool to show any emotion.
Kudos for you Champie for putting “gossip” as number one. There are still mofos that will claim ’til their last breath that only women gossip. Um, yeah you do, you just happen to do it around a manly environment (if manly environment translate to dingy room with hair all over the floor).
Another thing that I wanted to point out that I think ya’ll like but don’t wanna admit: Drama.
Otherwise, why stay with a woman who is full of it just so you can constantly complain about it? You must like it.
@Cheekie,
I agree with the men liking drama thing. They do lil passive agressive stuff to get a rise out of women or they just stay with women who they dont seem to get along with. If yall really werent into you’d leave. There are pretty women who dont like to fight and you know that.
@Cheekie,
I would say men like aspects of drama like the unpredictability of it all. Matter fact….naw. I can’t even find an upside to drama. It’s like a car accident, I’ll look from afar but when I get close I don’t pay no mind and keep goin.
@Cheekie,
Otherwise, why stay with a woman who is full of it just so you can constantly complain about it? You must like it.
because, since we assume that all women have their share of drama, we prefer to stay with those whose drama is manageable
@The Champ,
Ah, I see.
LOL…O_0.
@Cheekie, I disagree I dont know shit about most black tv shows or what housewife on what reality os doing what, I have no idae what white girl pop start is wilding out, I dont talk about much with men outside of sports, rap and some topical issues when we do get personal its only to confirm “you hit it” yea or nay…we dont get into details if my man got his thats all I care. Now if its money and real money I want to hear everything on how he got it and so forth and so on. Men who gossip are simps.
Things I secretly like
1. Him wanting to be in the kitchen up under me when I cook. My mouth is saying “Boy move..!” but I’m really going “If this boy don’t move…but he’s so cute wanting to know why I’m putting salt, pepper in this..”
2. Man smell..not really a SECRET, secret though
3. That he tells me no, he doesn’t let my pout dissuade him all the time
4. That he lets me fuss at him..he goes “Yes baby” and kisses me on the forehead and doesn’t pay me no mind! LOL. I threw out ALL of his crusty lotion, shaving cream, hair oil and got him using proper stuff, I’m a stickler for skin care…”Yes baby.”
@Smiley Face,
1. Him wanting to be in the kitchen up under me when I cook. My mouth is saying “Boy move..!” but I’m really going “If this boy don’t move…but he’s so cute wanting to know why I’m putting salt, pepper in this..”
you all get extremely territorial in your kitchens. seriously, if my gf is making something i practically have to turn into jason bourne to sneak into the kitchen
@The Champ,
I dont like ppl watching me cook. Esp. when I’ve made ropa vieja the same way since I known you and you’ve always killed it but today you gon get brand new like “Why you puttin so much onions?”
BACK UP!
@Me fail english?,
“ropa vieja”
Aw mayne really?
Yummy.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah that paella and pernil are like the only two of his people’s dishes I cook. I can make tostones too but my maduros are lame (they never really carmelize right) and my mofongo is god-awful. He says he likes it tho. . .smart man. haha
@ Me fail english?,
I wish I could make tostones. I stay in my lane since I don’t know what I’m doing– I just stick to the maduros…lol
@miss t-lee,
See now we gon have to hi-jack this thread and isht. How do you get them all sticky-sweet where they look glossy? Also, even when I get the black, soft ones they wind up coming out looking golden and hard instead of soft, sticky and brown. What am I doing wrong??
@miss t-lee,
Haha…I’m not sure. I can’t explain it. I just use cooking spray and butter. I get the black ones, or I buy the ones with a bit of yellow and ripen them up at home. I wait until the fruit itself is almost brown also before I cook them.
I cook them really slow though. That’s how my BFF showed me how to make them.
@ Me fail english? “See now we gon have to hi-jack this thread and isht. How do you get them all sticky-sweet where they look glossy? Also, even when I get the black, soft ones they wind up coming out looking golden and hard instead of soft, sticky and brown. What am I doing wrong??”
Sounds like you got your stove too high chief. And getting a good platano is important too . . . but you are a new yorker so that shouldn’t be hard.
-Flip flops and socks: I like this look
-Men who can fashion some kinda hairstyle for a little girl. I was running around busy tryna get my neices ready one morning when my bf offers to help. Breakfast? yes. Ironing? uuum…okay Doing the baby’s hair? Naw, blood. My bf has that fine, silky, betch hair and my neices have regular little black girl hair. Even if he wasnt a man, da hell you know about some nappy hair? I came out the shower and he was actually giving them little box braids!!! Little, individual braids with barettes at the bottoms! His parting game sux but the actual braids were neat and tight. And even though I will NEVER ask him to do that ish again for fear of embarassing the babies in public. I fell in love with that!
-Waking up with his dead weight on me (although this actually pisses me off if it’s hot in the apt!)
@Me fail english?, -Waking up with his dead weight on me (although this actually pisses me off if it’s hot in the apt!)
HAHAHA!! YES..waking up with his face in my neck and his heavy arse arm hooked over and under me and leg over me…he’p i can’t move, lol.
Ok, I am gonna put my hosh*t and a little TMI on blast here (we’re all pals anyway). But I know I am not the only woman who actually enjoys to give my man a little oral pleasure… I just don’t let him know the extent of it so he feels special and sh*t…
@Naturally Alise,
They gon’ ask for your woman card back now…lol
@Naturally Alise,
I’m thinking you should probably let him know that one. Even if you didn’t, I’d suggest you pretend you did.
@Naturally Alise, Actually, it turns him on to know that I like it and it cute to see him get that “Aw shiiiyiit now, dem my mama biscuits!” look on his face cuz he know I’m bout to get it get it!
@Smiley Face,
lmao @ dem my mama biscuits!!
@Naturally Alise,
I tell MyCleezy that I like practicing my PSH technique on him.
What is PSH? Porn Star Head.
After the first time I gave him the full PSH treatment, he asked me to marry him.
LMAO!
@SexyCool,
a little head goes a lot of way!
_My brother shops more than I do.
Why does he need 2 big ass TV? Talking about he doesn’t have space, can he safeguard one in my room. He’s all upon my closet. Oh… He is just goin to put a jacket there. Next thing I know, we’re competing for half the space. Why do I have tires under bed, again? He’s kicking me out of my own room lol smh.
_Come to think of it, some of my brothers, uncle, male cousins and father admit they also like to cook. One told me it’s relaxing, the other for economic purposes, and another for health purposes. When I’m cooking I almost always employ their help.
-Yes on daytime television. Most of us at home used to go hard for General Hospital. Now my brother is borderline obssessed with SmallVille [Buying books & seasons]. Some watch Oprah & Tyra Banks more than I do. At on point, my bro was quoting Dr. Oz around the house
@SnijanaFleur, there’s nothing feminine about cooking…if that was the case, men wouldn’t be all about grilling in the summer and at those tailgate parties.
But your brother sounds like he needs a garage.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like
Yeah…I indulge him now, but It’s a good thing he’s working on getting his own place. I’m mad proud of him. I agree cooking is not a female role. Cooking is a survival skill. Everyone should be able to whip up something in the kitchen.
@ The Champ & IVR
What novellas are you talking about?
My preference now are the Korean historical dramas->Dae Jo Young & The Iron Empress.
@SnijanaFleur,
-Yes on daytime television. Most of us at home used to go hard for General Hospital. Now my brother is borderline obssessed with SmallVille [Buying books & seasons]. Some watch Oprah & Tyra Banks more than I do. At on point, my bro was quoting Dr. Oz around the house
i have friends who are obsessed with soaps as well. personally, i prefer novellas
@The Champ, “i have friends who are obsessed with soaps as well. personally, i prefer novellas”
Good call . . . plenty side boobage.
Whole list is on point.
Making you come really hard. Sometimes we want get it & gyiet. But the whole thing hella boosts our Id if your world is rocked just that fast too.
& @ the Mamba… OMG toooo funny. I want to live.
@WuDaMan,
Making you come really hard. Sometimes we want get it & gyiet. But the whole thing hella boosts our Id if your world is rocked just that fast too.
***nodding head***
Speaking of gossip, my boss just hollers out in his office, “Ha, I knew it wouldn’t last.”
I was like, “What are you talking about?”
And he proudly informed me that Usher was getting a divorce like he had the scoop of the day.
So, um, yeah…I could hardly breathe for laughing.
@SexyCool,
wait, he just hollered this, recently?
@The Champ,
@113p TODAY! ~LMAO~
@SexyCool,
LMFAO. So not only does he gossip, he gossips through a time machine.
@Cheekie,
dead@ the boss pulling SexyCool aside all somber like “You heard they shot Brother Malcolm, right?”
@me fail english?,
*crying*
For real tho, there are TEARS. Stop!
@SexyCool,
I’m mad I just read smthg like two mins ago about Usher tryna stall the divorce. I’d imagine your boss will let you know this some time next year.
@Me fail english?,
I’m guessing that tomorrow he is going to come into my office and tell me that Michael Jackson died.
This list is great! I knew some of them already, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. Now I have a bargaining tool. LMAO
Favorite line… “the thing is, most men aren’t scared of commitment, and we actually welcome it. we’re just scared to death of committing to the wrong person. ” It speaks volumes to me and probably every woman out there currently single and dating. We need to know when we are the wrong person….I’m just saying.
A few things that women well I secretly like but won’t admit: giving oral sex and porn
@SunEone, how bout when dude is not NEO, more women need to know that EARLY, as to avoid unecessary and hurtful emotional attachments etc, kinda like seeing sh*t for what it is, EARL(lol) as opposed to what we’d like it to be…
@OrangeStar616,
I know!! If I would have know I was the wrong person in most of my past relationships, I would have bounced. Heart intact.
Seeing shyt for what it is a powerful thing when it comes to relationships.
what i like about men, but will never publicly admit (except in this case because let’s face it, we’re like family on here, right?) is their typically high sex drive. those of you not blessed with this drive, i will probably think of you as a brother from here on out.
the end.
@Miss Patterson,
LOL
@Miss Patterson, this is the truth right here. My ex-husband starting smoking dro again, and that man’s sex drive disappeared real quick. Needless to say, that sure played a part in why he’s an ex.
I will neither confirm nor deny my love for any of these things except the shopping because I hate it! One of the major attractions to dating for me is so that someone else can do my shopping! I love getting new stuff but I hate going to get it. Oh and I can’t deny the babrbershop talk because I am the king of it! I will spend 3 more hours than I have to in the shop just to talk about BBQ and arguing who is the greatest porn star of all time.
You are not allowed to talk about my boobs now that you have seen me in the flesh! it was all fun and games until it was all fun and games.
List’s on point! Good Job! Ha! My ex for someone who ‘hated shopping’ surely always had a bunch of new fresh ish in the beginning. I will add to the list;
(i) men love it when we buy you a really good shirt
(ii) when we are affectionate with you in a room of other men who are eye ‘loving’ us.
(iii) when other men stare at us. (Ex once said to me that the minute other men stop finding me attractive, he’d lose interest)
What I lurrve in my man
(i) He is a beer man when he’s watching the game
(ii) He doesn’t try to win the fights but acts as if he is losing the urgument to me coz I am so much smarter and wiser and coz he knows I love victory. He wins in the end *winks hard*
(iii) kisses my back before a fall asleep (he secretly loves it too!)
List’s on point! Good Job! Ha! My ex for someone who ‘hated shopping’ surely always had a bunch of new fresh ish in the . I will add to the list;
(i) men love it when we buy you a really good shirt
(ii) when we are affectionate with you in a room of other men who are eye ‘loving’ us.
(iii) when other men stare at us. (Ex once said to me that the minute other men stop finding me attractive, he’d lose interest)
What I lurrve in my man
(i) He is a beer man when he’s watching the game
(ii) He doesn’t try to win the fights but acts as if he is losing the argument to me coz I am so much smarter and wiser and coz he knows I love victory. He wins in the end *winks hard*
(iii) kisses my back before a fall asleep (he secretly loves it too!)
I’m all kinds of tardy to the party, but men LOVE SATC (Secks and the City).
That is all.