along with nba basketball, making perfect portions of cream of wheat, and stealing wireless signals, i’m an expert when it comes to knowing when and where to approach a black woman¹ to achieve maximum bagging efficiency. and, as an expert, it pains me to repeatedly witness men making bagging blunders, approaching sistas at minimally efficient times.
to make sure this doesn’t happen again, here’s five of the worst times to approach a black woman
1. when she’s with two friends in the middle of the dance floor
although the african cheetah usually waits until the sexy-ass gazelles are grouped together at the prairie happy-hour before attempting to approach, bag, murder, and eat them, this hunting method probably won’t work with a black woman. the aforementioned grouping technique is usually their way to confuse men by eye-thwarting potential approaches while simultaneously separating themselves from the larger group and making themselves more attractive
this leaves you with three options:
a) pick the most desirable one, and anonymously order two ultimate mojitos each for her two friends. when the friends make their inevitable bathroom run and leave the desirable one alone at the bar, pounce. while pouncing, make sure to take advantage of the subtle self-esteem sting she felt after witnessing her friends get free drinks, and act accordingly
b) find a group of attractive woman in the club that you’re already cool with, and proceed to dance with them. although you know this is just friendly flirtation, your interaction with other attractive women will make you at least 20% more attractive to the rest of groups of women there, and act accordingly
c) be santonio holmes
2. when 5’7 or shorter
unless, of course, she’s 5’6 or taller. in this case, you probably shouldn’t approach until you grow to at least 6’9′ to be safe
3. while driving this
now, i’m not suggesting that black women are too pretentious to give rhythm to a cat with a clunker. in fact, some might even laud the fact that you were resourceful enough to procure one of the eight remaining taurus stationwagons on the planet. still, while its probably a bad idea to try to bag a black woman while driving anything, its definitely not a good idea to try to holler while whipping something jame gumb would have used to kidnap fat snizzles.
4. when she’s visibly upset
although, admittedly, you can’t beat the comic relief of saying “smile, sis. it aint that bad” to a sista who just saw ‘precious’
5. when you’re with a white woman
although, admittedly, you can’t beat the comic relief of saying “smile, sis. it aint that bad” to a sista who just saw ‘precious’ if you’re holding hands with a white woman
fellas, did i miss anything?
also, ladies, are there any particular times or places when you’re usually loath to be approached?
¹”black” women because my lack of experience with other races of women limits my expertise. for info about when to approach a latina, asian, or white woman, email liz burr.
—the champ
Related posts:
- bagging the bangingest: how to attract a black woman
- how helena andrews (and every other successful and lonely young black woman) can improve her luck
- four completely practical and non-racist reasons why i never have and most likely never will date a white woman
- 3 completely practical reasons why he’s with a white woman
- the girlcrush: 10 women every (straight) black woman seems to go gay for
{ 323 comments… read them below or add one }
When she is with a dude, even though it’s obvious he’s either her brother or best gay friend. It’s just rude.
When she’s in the rain with or without an umbrella.
When her date goes to the restroom leaving her at the table/bar/game alone.
When she is pushing a full cart of groceries to her cart, unless you’re going to offer to load them into her car, leave her alone. This is especially true if the parking lot is empty. You will look like a stalker who is going to try to shove her in her car and drown her. What? I watch a lot of Criminal Minds.
@Ms. Smart,
oooh, girl, criminal minds is my show!! and yes, a dude coming up to me a parking lot is cause for rape whistles and pepper spray after watching like four seasons of that show!
@shatani, such a shame what society has come to. used to be you could just show up at folks houses unannounced. now if you do it, you’re damn near a criminal and definitely a stalker, rude, and inconsiderate.
i blame cell phones.
@Ms. Smart,
When she is pushing a full cart of groceries to her cart, unless you’re going to offer to load them into her car, leave her alone. This is especially true if the parking lot is empty. You will look like a stalker who is going to try to shove her in her car and drown her. What? I watch a lot of Criminal Minds.
this actually reminded me of silence of the lambs
@The Champ,
:sigh: SOTL is one of my favorite movies. read all of the books in the series as well.
ok end geekfest now
@tnt_FTW, why stop there? clearly you’re geekfested out.
continue.
for the kids.
@Panama Jackson,
you asked.
i can recite lines from SOTL at a moment’s notice. If I was a trivia night and STOL was the topic, hands down I’d win. I even wrote a paper in undergrad about this movie (BA English Lit).
“It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again. Aint that right precious (smoochy smooch)”
“Please mister, my mom is a very important lady. I promise, I promise nothing would happen…I want my mommy (screaming, repeat)”
(choking up) “put the lotion in ckfuing basket”
(girl puts the lotion in the basket. jame gumb pulls the basket out of the well, girl sees how other girls have tried to escape by clawing at the well’s walls and sees one girls fingernail embeded in the wall) “aaaaah aaaah”
jame gumb mocks the girl.
yup indeed. favorite scene. and i have cemented myself as THE BIGGEST NERD EVER
“put the lotion in ckfuing basket”
this remains one of my five favorite pick up lines
@Panama Jackson,
im witchu tnt! i read all the books too! i dont quote the movies too much, but maybe i should…
although, admittedly, you can’t beat the comic relief of saying “smile, sis. it aint that bad” to a sista who just saw ‘precious’ if you’re holding hands with a white woman
i…just…RUDE!
@overit,
its never a good idea to tell this sista to smile. even in the best of moods (regardless of what my face is doing) you are libel to catch a cuss out.
@shatani,
They are obsessed with this directive! I’m like, “Who you?” Don’t get me wrong, cuz I’m easy to smile, but very pensive and not likely to walk around smiling like an idiot without reason. Who knew a Black woman’s smile — no matter how forced it might be — was designated the Holy Grail that mortal men should so tirelessly seek it…
@bittersweet’s baby,
It is a beautiful thing. I’m not saying I go around telling random black women to smile, but if I can make them smile, why not, right?
@Shay,
It is a beautiful thing
***nodding head***
@Shay,
If you can evoke a smile, it’s a lovely thing…but somma y’all go round demanding smiles upon request. It ain’t gonna be genuine. The only chicks who smile under duress are the same ones who go deeper into the woods to investigate the death screams at nite & run upstairs to the attic, thereby helping the killer get her kilt.
@bittersweet’s baby,
smiling makes you look like an idiot? learn something new everyday and sh*t
@The Champ,
I can deal with purposely obtuse. I know you’ve seen ladies walking round aimlessly, smiling id.iot.ic.ally and thought ‘that @&#*(! is batshii CRAZY! then crossed the street…
Congrats, tho. You got me to smile cuz now I’m singin ‘The undisputed Champion, whooaa, yeaahh… always will be my friend’… Nothin like a lil Ghostface in the mornins
@The Champ,
I can say from way too much experience that being told to smile is just plain irritating, but if you can say or do something that makes me smile you gain major points. Its all in the delivery.
@shatani,
if thats the case it seems like all the more reason for you to smile. stop bein so uptight and smile
@Deviant,
im not uptight. im oppositional. if my face at rest is not appealing to you, either look away or amuse me in some way. just telling me to smile is going to guarantee not smile for you!
@shatani, lol…i do it all the time. though i rarely say, “it’s not that bad.” hell, you have no idea why she aint’ smiling. she might have just stabbed her ex and is now pondering that life sentence she’s finna get. it.is.that.bad.
i’ll just say, “smile and hopefully things will get better”
either that or “girl, you look like somebody pissed in your wheaties. perhaps you should eat cheerios tomorrow. cheers.”
@Panama Jackson,
yeah, well, that would make me smile cuz im a big fan of foolishness!
@shatani, What happens if I ask you to smile, is that better?
@Peysonic Temple,
what if you ask me what you can do to make me smile, if youre that interested?
but to answer the question, a request is way better received than a demand.
@shatani,
Thanks for the PSA; I will never ask a lady to smile again!
@Caballeroso,
Oh, but please do. It’s cute and nice. Some women will give you the stank face, but those broads will give the stank face no matter what anyways…
@Sula,
Truth.
@Sula,
not truth for me. i am very easily amused, i just dont like being told to smile. i mean, why? so that person feels better? just strikes me as selfish, and who wants to smile at selfish mofos.
when she’s wearing rollers at the grocery store. i would never do this, but the thought of it makes me realize that is the LAST time i would need a ninja tryna conversate.
@overit,
i dunno…if a mofo is approaching when you are, admittedly, not at your best, then you might blow his mind when you clean it up! lol…although, he probably just working on the assumption that you have no self-esteem and he can probably hit it if he compliments you bout your melon selection…
@overit,
you aint gotta worry about that ever happening. no one with rollers in their hair in public gets approached
@Deviant,
*said like Carl Thomas in “i wish”*
at alllllllllll, at allllllllllllll
if anything i’m offended you’d think it was okay to walk out the house like that. i might approach you to scold you.
like seeing chicks in NY with the doobie (sp?) wraps walking around like they don’t look like a twist-a-whirl gone bad. out to eat.
I feel for guys cuz it must be hard to know when to approach a woman. Personally, I’m cool with guys approaching me except when:
- I’m rushing to get somewhere (this happens a lot). Yesterday, I was leaving a meeting to get somewhere and this guy from the mtg knew this and still continued to talk to me, insisted on walking me to my car, and wouldn’t leave til he got my #. All I was thinking was that I was late and got more stressed
- I’m out with my little cousins or god daughter
- At the gym – this is when I like to blast my I Pod and zone out
@Leila,
Co-sign on the gym part… GENTLEMEN! If you must try to holla, you must do so either before or after the workout….trying to strike up a conversation mid-workout…especially if you have bad form (and trust me, I notice), will result in nothing but attitude or a cold shoulder from me.
@Happy Meal,
amen amen! and the times it has happened to me, dudes had nothing to say. i mean, im listening to my music, im counting sets, im on a schedule here…if youre gonna interrupt, then COME WIT IT.
and also, i dont need advice unless youre a trainer…and even then, i will ask if i want it. dont start giving me tips while you are literally standing on a treadmill talking to someone who works there, pot belly poking out. (and yes, this happened)
@Happy Meal,
bad form? lol, so if his hands weren’t positioned properly on the bar doing his bench press, its an automatic deal-breaker?
@Happy Meal,
And DO NOT attempt to hug me, spot me or any other manner of creepy shet that comes off as an obvious ploy to check out my goodies.
Cant front though, I kinda like when men ask me how to do one of my calisthenic exercises or compliment my form/tone.
@Leila,
The gym is just the wrong place to be tryin to holla anyway! What if we go out and I realize that your arse is weird as shiggity and decide never to call you again?? Then you automatically make my place of release stressful because now I gotta avoid you! I just have to say no to the brotha in the gym…unless he’s just super fine…LOL!!
@Leila, – At the gym – this is when I like to blast my I Pod and zone out
related but not at the same time, am i the only person who gets pissed off when folks start trying to talk to me when i clearly have my headphones on and am jamming to Shakira’s ‘she wolf’??
why do people decide to ask ME out of all the random mothertruckers on the street.
just yesterday, this dude starts yelling to me, while i have my headphones in JUST to ask me this question:
“those are timberlands, right? takin’ me back”
so let me get this right d-bag. you asked me a question you knew the answer to already, you just wanted me to confirm what you already knew and for that, i had to turn off Rihanna’s “cold case love” song, which i love. thank you and die, f*ckboy.
so yeah, approaching when ninjas got headphones on is not that move.
@Panama Jackson, I didn’t know they had a Kiss-FM in DC.
@Panama Jackson,
just yesterday, this dude starts yelling to me, while i have my headphones in JUST to ask me this question:
“those are timberlands, right? takin’ me back”
so let me get this right d-bag. you asked me a question you knew the answer to already, you just wanted me to confirm what you already knew and for that, i had to turn off Rihanna’s “cold case love” song, which i love. thank you and die, f*ckboy.
this made me literally laugh out loud
@The Champ,
so did i! i think i wanna read it again!
When she is with her kids. And DEFINITELY do not talk to my child. All that “Hey lil man.” stuff?? No. I hate that! For one, it is sooo obviously insincere and two, it’s just…creepy.
@nia, cosign!!!
@nia,
so i should delete “hey little man, your momma sure got a fat ass. did she have that before you got here?” from my bagging repertoire?
@The Champ,
Of course not, lets not be silly now
@nia, yeah, in this To Catch A Predator world, I all but want nothing to do with kids that aren’t related to me.
Bad times
for meto approach black women:When they’re on the phone.
When you’re on public transportation.
In church.
With their kids.
Without their kids.
At the bar.
At the club, period.
At the library.
At a funeral home.
While shoe-shopping, or shopping in general.
In various lines (bank, post office, etc)
At work.
When she’s smiling.
While she’s getting her hair did.
In class.
While she’s on the slots.
While at the beach, park, or the (insert organization here) picnic.
At the free clinic, unless you’re a doctor.
On AIM, Twitter, Facebook or Myspace. (Yahoo for some reason is okay…)
While giving her car a jump.
While helping her move…
Yeah… for me, it’s been pretty much a crapshoot…
@Maximillian,
lmao! poor baby!
@Maximillian,
Aww, I can hear the pout in your keyboard, even though I’m hoping at least half was tongue in cheek. Stop limiting yourself by talking yourself outta every other opportunity.
I think that if your inclination to speak doesn’t override your willingness to maintain the imaginary boundary, it’s cuz she isn’t intriguing enough. A good woman should be worth risk of a fiery curse out…
@bittersweet’s baby, aww…this was nice.
@bittersweet’s baby,
“I think that if your inclination to speak doesn’t override your willingness to maintain the imaginary boundary, it’s cuz she isn’t intriguing enough.”
Well said.
@Maximillian,
Truly LOLoudest. All together now, “Awwwwwwwww”
@Maximillian,
Might as well say don’t at all.
when you’re with a white woman
although, admittedly, you can’t beat the comic relief of saying “smile, sis. it aint that bad” to a sista who just saw ‘precious’ if you’re holding hands with a white woman
ha ha ha ha ha ha, champion lova – you are an evil, evil, evil man – but i LOVE you!! foolish characta!!! i’m SO killed, iyo!!! HILARIOUSNESS!!!!!
@superwoman,
although, admittedly, you can’t beat the comic relief of saying “smile, sis. it aint that bad” to a sista who just saw ‘precious’ if you’re holding hands with a white woman
In the rain. As the white woman flips her gloriously rain drenched locks and you contemplate another $45 for a wash and set because you have that meeting Monday.
@Wanjiru,
$45 for a wash and set?? Where dey do dat at?!
@Me fail english?,
It’s even cheaper down here…. He he he!
$30 and I’m set.
New York is for suckers. I keed I keed
not@Sula,
lol. That’s one of the few things that’s cheaper in NY. My Dominicans charge me $20 Thurs-Sun. $15 Mon-Weds and that’s with a deep condition.
*continues to hate on no-state-income-tax-paying Texans*
@superwoman,
you had me at champion lova
@The Champ, heh heh, sweetie, i know….
oh – to answer your question… i don’t like being approached when i’m around my dad -who looks very young, but he IS my father nonetheless. (the resemblance is uncanny, get a clue!) ..it’s embarrassing for all round, then my dad starts bossing me around like i was 9 all over again, just to shed the horrid memory of his grown-woman getting hit on in his presence…
also if i’m with my sisters pre-teen kids. it’s a long, drawn-out painful recovery process as they re-enact the whole sad episode over and over again for weeks on end to anyone who’ll listen/watch… smh
@superwoman,
a curse on this ridiculous 7 second editing window of yours!!!
i meant to say ‘grown -woman DAUGHTER’
@superwoman,
I’m wincing in commiseration. My friend told me of this one time where she was approached by a guy who after dad had stepped away briefly, this older and disheveled specimen told her that whatever her sugar-daddy was giving her, he could provide much, much more. Yup- the guy hollad and called a transactional secks worker in the same breath.
@superwoman,
OR when i am with my mother. happened to me once it was ridiculously embarrassing.
scenario: walking around Publix (best.grocery.store.ever)
me: ma see i like this brand best…
(enter some guy behind us in line with cart FULL.OF.BEER)
ma: young man are you having a party?
young man (ym): yes i am, tomorrow
ma: o i would go but i’m too old, but you should ask my daughter
me: maaaaaa (trying to crawl into hole)
ym: mumbles something along the lines of asking for phone number
ma: you are doing it wrong young man! you didn’t even ask her name.
if i were a 2520 i would have been beet red omg horribleness
@tnt_FTW, momz is a damn G. lol.
@Panama Jackson,
yup plus she wants grandchildren. NOW. obvs im not moving fast enough for her.
i’ve only come to appreciate her “g-ness” AFTER i moved out. why couldn’t i get her genes?! instead i’m stuck with the lameness from my father
@tnt_FTW,
Damn. Mom dukes is dope. LOL!
@tnt_FTW,
I actually had something like this happen to me once. I approached two young women. Respectfully acknowledged both while clearly demonstrating my interest in one (to my eye, the younger sister of the pair). Three minutes into it, older sister starts asking me questions:
“What Church do you go to?”
“Did you go to college?”
“Do you have any kids?”
“Have you ever been married?”
That’s when younger sister said to older sister, “Momma?!?! Stop it!”, and I realized that I had probably bitten off more than I could chew.
“Do you do drugs?”
“Do you drink?”
“What does ‘occasionally’ mean?”
“How long was your last relationship?”
“That’s a long time, how come you didn’t marry her?”
“Well, what makes you think she would want to go out with you?”
I felt like I was in the toughest job interview ever, for a job that I wasn’t even sure I wanted. I was about to walk away, and she finally said, “Ok, you can have her number”… needless to say, I never called.
@CleverScreenName,
*ouch* but the worst part was my mom put HIM on the spot. i had peeped him about 4 aisles before we checked out. and he couldnt muster up enough gumption to spit dat hot fiyah. and i had made up my decision that he wasnt worth my time. but then my mom blasted him and yeah. tragic. i dont even think she realizes what she did
@superwoman, I leave well enough alone when she’s standing next to a parent. That’s one of a woman’s “I’m off limits” moments. Besides, that’s too early to be meeting someone’s parents anyway (that’s for when the relationship is serious).
When he’s a perfect stranger at my house, hired to repair or renovate something. Makes me feel vulnerable.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
yup. thats another criminal mind flashback. i just picture Hotch going “no signs of forced entry” and them Reid says, “she must have known the unsub or let him in for some other reason.”
bad scene.
@shatani,
LMAO. i love criminal minds. But forget what Reid has to say. Just bring on Morgan. Please and thank you!
(shemar moore when he’s NOT always lookin in the mirror is hot@Selah,
shemar moore is definitely hot, but i been in love with dr. reid for a hot minute! i cant help myself…
umm how about while with a white woman at a maxwell concert after first trying to talk to my sister sitting right next to me with the following pick up line while buying your chick some nachos…”you can be treated the same way” epic fail
if I am on the phone
if I am buying feminine products..ninja you saw my basket fall back….
@shay-d-lady,
um..that line is BRILLIANT! lmao!
@shay-d-lady,
“if I am buying feminine products..ninja you saw my basket fall back….”
HILARIOUS
@shay-d-lady,
i’m just impressed that he was bold enough to take a white woman to a maxwell concert.
@shay-d-lady, umm how about while with a white woman at a maxwell concert after first trying to talk to my sister sitting right next to me with the following pick up line while buying your chick some nachos…”you can be treated the same way” epic fail
everything about this makes me happy.
@shay-d-lady,
O – M – mothertrucking – G! You wylin’ right now!
Kotex check, ninja! Fall back or face the wrath!
at the bus stop (esp. at night)
outside of my house—if i don’t know you, i def dont want you to see me pulling out my keys to open the door…
outside of my job— same concept…i dont know you and you need not know this information as of yet
around my brothers…esp if you assume that they are my kids (which happens waaayyy too much)
when your married (rings are NOT sexy)
when i am clearly occupied with something else (ie reading, listening to my ipod, in another conversation or on the phone)
when you know you aint gonna approach me correctly (seriously, if i gotta spazz out on another guy who asks me for my phone number without asking my name…)
@trin-trin,
“(seriously, if i gotta spazz out on another guy who asks me for my phone number without asking my name…)”
lmao! ive had that happen before! and never even told me their name either….it usually goes:
idiot: yo, ma, can i get your number?
me: um…who are you gonna ask for (and keeps walking)
@shatani, let’s be real. names are passé as hell.
its much better to just ask for descriptors.
just call and ask for “yella” or “red” or “thickums”
@Panama Jackson,
LOL. Names I’ve been called
- “Big’uns” (Gotta love Nostrand Ave)
)
-”Thunderbutt!” (preceded by “Move it…”, my butt’s not even that big. New Yorkers are mean
- “Boi-oi-oing” (I was in a rush..but this actually made me laugh…little 8th grade creep)
*hangs head in shame*
@trin-trin,
when you know you aint gonna approach me correctly (seriously, if i gotta spazz out on another guy who asks me for my phone number without asking my name…)
wait….women have names???
i get annoyed at being bothered while im reading….which generally happens when i read amusing things in public, because well, i smile and if its funny enough, i might laugh a bit. this is not an invitation.
when im leaving for work or coming home in the dead of night….
while im on the phone.
when im busy and you aint got no job….i was once aggresively approached by a dude on my way to the post office to send off a package. i pulled up and parked a block or so away and i see a man standing on the corner (facing my direction)….on a tuesday….at 11:30 am….with no traffic coming (not waiting to cross), who immediately turns and starts walking behind me as i walk past. not cool. go back to your corner and let grown folks go bout they business. then wanna get in line behind me talkin bout, “im buying stamps” and shows me money. um, why? you aint got sh!t to mail!
@shatani,
who knows, he might have been a landlord. or a venture capitalist surveying new territory. or drug dealer. or he was in the process of inventing invisible green jobs.
point being, there are numerous jobs where a guy could just be chillin on the block at 11:30 am.
@The Champ,
point taken.
Do not approach me while you are with your boys. If I am not interested, you are putting me in the position of not wanting to embarrass you. If I am interested, that interest will probably die a quick death from feeling pressured with an audience. If I do not respond the way you want, do not keep pushing, because “embarrass ” is not the word I would use to describe the verbal beat down you will receive in front of your boys. If you must approach me, walk away from the audience.
Also, do not approach me while my boss is standing right there. It’s just awkward for everyone involved.
@sanen85,
Do not approach me while you are with your boys. If I am not interested, you are putting me in the position of not wanting to embarrass you.
lol, shouldnt you always be in the position of not wanting to embarrass someone?
@sanen85, If I am not interested, you are putting me in the position of not wanting to embarrass you. If I am interested, that interest will probably die a quick death from feeling pressured with an audience.
sounds like a personal problem to me.
I hate when some random, irrelevant negro walks up to me in the walmart talking about, “it can’t be that bad. smile
” and from the looks of this blog entry and comments, that ignorant mess is universal. ugh. what if it is that bad, fool? (it’s not.) you don’t know my life!
it’s never a good time to approach me when:
i’m carrying something heavy. my family has a tshirt shop and there’s a barber shop in the same little area. without fail, whenever i’m on my way back carrying some big a*s box of a gerbillion tshirts, some fool wants to make small talk. um…..seriously? i’m supposed to put up with your gold teeth and smooth lines like, “what it do?” as i struggle like a beast of burden with this HUGE BOX? what? don’t you see it? i’m the kind of girl that would probably turn you down if you offered to help. but the least you could do is offer to help.
i’m on the phone. um….that is rude! why don’t people have a basic knowledge of what’s rude anymore? back in the day, i was talking to this guy that i’d had one date with and was really happen to hear from. enter this random persistent negro who would not quit interrupting my conversation and asking inappropriate things like, “ooh, this is a nice car.*** when you gone take me for a ride in it?” i never heard from that guy again. he probably thought i was an escort.
um…also, it’s a bad time to approach me if i’m lookin tore down. i went to circle k the other night wearing my head scarf, a big a*s tshit, and my dad’s jogging pants (don’t judge me. it be’s like that sometimes) and just looking all types of tore down in general. um…some fool had the nerve to spit game.
fellas: it does not impress me when you try to talk to me when i am looking a hot a*s mess. it won’t make me think you’re a good person because you’re looking past my exterior because i’m not that deep. see, charli skipper on a good day would turn her nose up to this poor man’s version of this charli skipper on a bad day that you’re trying to talk to, for whatever reason. so, basically, i have no choice but to judge you.
***it wasn’t
@charli skipper,
also, men shouldn’t approach women in the Walmart. that rule is flexible for very eligible men, but…..i don’t know, something about being asked for my phone number from a dude with a posse in a walmart aisle while respectable people pass by is embarrassing to me.
@charli skipper,
are there gonna be that many respectable people at the walmarts?? i know a little website that says different! lol
@shatani,
Target.com?
@Me fail english?,
Peopleofwalmart.com
@shatani,
I am respectable and I shop at Walmart. Because it’s cheap and I like my $$$. So why would I assume that people at Walmart are not respectable?
I don’t know… I guess I’m an all-opportunity approachee. Ha!
@charli skipper,
One of my best guy friends once told me that he tends to approach women when they may think they aren’t at their best because if they still look good when they’re looking “tore up” it’s only bound to get better. He said it’s a much better prospect than picking up a dime in the club only to later find out that she’s really a 5 and that her hair, nails, breasts, butt, etc.. are all fake. Chances are you probably don’t look nearly as bad as you think.
@Shauna,
I get “scavenger” vibes from dudes like this. Hollerin at “hot mess o’ mefail”= He’d smash anything that walks
@Shauna,
its not even so much about the woman looking “tore up”, but when women are dressed down, many of them tend to give off more of an approachable vibe than when they’re dressed to the nines and sh*t. this is why you’ll always hear comments from women about why men approach when they’re at the grocery store rockin 8 year old mecca sweats and not when they’re “dressed to kill”.
Ladies…pay close attention. The Champion speaks the truth.
@AkShone,
Maybe it’s just me but I FAR prefer the men who approach me when I’m looking sharp to the men who try to bag when I look like hot hell.
Me fail english?,
But that’s your self perception at the time.
We on the other hand are thinking, “Wow, so when we go to the grocery store on Saturday mornings, she’ll look like this…YES!”
Point is, a woman’s interpretation of herself (or other women) is usually not the same as a man’s interpretation of that woman (or other women).
@AkShone,
I hear what you’re saying. But there’s a difference in looking casual (no makeup, sweats, hair back in a ponytail) and looking a hot mess (wrinkled Johnson family reunion ’88 shirt with the kool-aid stains, hair tied Aunt Jemima style and timbs falling apart). Reminds me of those pimps that deliberately approach low self-esteem, washed chicks cuz they’ll be easy to clean up and put in a stable. *gag*
@Me fail english?,
exactly. i was NOT lookin casual. it wasn’t like a “oh, she looks good–even in sweats” scenario. i was lookin tore down. period. it’s like when you buy a dented can at the store thinking you can get it for half off because nobody else would want it. he was probably all, “oh. i bet nobody’s taken her to taco bell before. let’s get it!!”
@charli,
“oh. i bet nobody’s taken her to taco bell before. let’s get it!!”
*****DEAD*****
and yeah, I think the fellas are talking about a very different situation than we are. No offense, but the dudes we’re talking about are NO vsbs. The intent is way different.
@charli skipper, um…also, it’s a bad time to approach me if i’m lookin tore down. i went to circle k the other night wearing my head scarf, a big a*s tshit, and my dad’s jogging pants (don’t judge me. it be’s like that sometimes) and just looking all types of tore down in general. um…some fool had the nerve to spit game.
fellas: it does not impress me when you try to talk to me when i am looking a hot a*s mess. it won’t make me think you’re a good person because you’re looking past my exterior because i’m not that deep. see, charli skipper on a good day would turn her nose up to this poor man’s version of this charli skipper on a bad day that you’re trying to talk to, for whatever reason. so, basically, i have no choice but to judge you.
i’ve seen this echoed a few times by women on here and let’s just say exactly why its a load of horsesh*t.
THERE IS NO GUARANTEE I’M GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN. it aint like i KNOW i’ll see you at the club when you’re dressed to the nines. so i’m supposed to just hope to catch up with you again when you’re rocking your louboutins and sh*t. gtfohwtbs. fact is, bagging chicks is a game of chance. you play the percentages when you can. WHEN YOU CAN. if you catch a chick at walmart, that’s when you can and could very well be your only time. at the club folks are there for hours at a time. you can strategize and draw up battle schemes and get other people in on the act. tarjay. not so much.
so you can bet your bottom dollar that ASIDE from you generally being alone when you look busted (which means there’s less pressure on you to say no if you have even the slightest interest) and you possibly being hot as the f*ck when you are dressed up, it’s more just about the fact that when do i know i’ll have the opportunity to holler at the hot busted chick again??
we don’t know. so we holler.
thanks for playing.
@Panama Jackson,
Major Cosign!!!
@Panama Jackson,
Yall are getting all deep with it like we’re not aware of the fact that we look more approachable when we’re busted. Doesnt change the impression that women get of a man bagging bum-ass lookin broads. Just cause there’s a slight chance that the woman will reveal herself to be a dime later on doesnt change the fact that you went on the “attack” when she was at her lowest. Basically…scavenging.
And ftr, the men who approach women in the target while her hair is wrapped and her pants dont match her shirt are usually of a lower caliber than the men that approach her when she’s just looking cute and casual, or even dressed well. She didnt say she was looking decent. She made a point of saying she didnt look presentable. Yall get NO points for that.
@Me fail english?,
Just cause there’s a slight chance that the woman will reveal herself to be a dime later on doesnt change the fact that you went on the “attack” when she was at her lowest.
thing is, if she’s a dime, she’s always a dime. there’s nothing to reveal later. unless she’s walking around covered in catsh*t, there’s really nothing an attractive woman can rock that’ll make a guy not notice that she’s attractive
@The Champ,
We can agree to disagree. Having seen non-airbrushed pics of models, the difference between what some starlets look like before and after a stylist, there’s plenty an attractive woman can do to make herself look plain or unattractive.
@Me fail english,
That’s different. You can take a random decent looking 7, airbrush her, put make up on her and take 95 pictures of her until you get one pic that makes her look like an 11.
But I have to agree with Champ on this one. I’ve seen good looking women who TRY to dress themselves down. TRY! and they still look pretty good. But because they are used to seeing themselves look like God’s gift to photography, they think they’re lookin busted. Let me rephrase this. Men are different than women. Clothes do not attract us. Clothes only enhance what we already see. We spend 23 hours and 42 minutes every day practicing spotting, then approaching women. If we are with our boys, we even make it a game: “Ay, look behind you at the…”
“… I saw her. Dark skin, blue dress, 11 inch heels… just wait ’till you see her turn around. I’d go talk to her but she’s on her iphone and would cuss me out right now. I read her lips, the conversation should be over within 2 minutes. Then I’m on my way over.”
We take pride in our ability to discretely, inconspicuously check out women from further distances than we should physically be able to without the assistance of some sort of telescopic lens. We relish in our ability to spot a woman without her noticing that she’s been spotted, appear to continue with whatever it is that we’re doing for the next 4-12 seconds while we devise a game-plan. By the time you see a guy looking at you, he has already had a chance to see you from at least 3 different angles, had time to process all of the information and calculate whether approaching you is worth it based on the likelihood of making-shex with you within a reasonable time frame, versus the extra time he’ll have to wait if he gets out of the Walmart line to move closer to you.
We know what we like. WE KNOW! And your droopy, fat-Albert t-shirt that looks like it was actually worn by big Al, himself, isn’t going to throw us off the scent anymore than kotex in the cart or rollers in the hair… or multi-colored warpaint on your face. There are exceptions of course (See the champ’s example above), but there isn’t anything you can wear to make yourself unattractive if you started off attractive. We just don’t work that way.
In other words, I’m going to be all over a pair of beautiful breaths, whether they’re packaged in a Champion Sports Bra, or Vickie’s most wonderful wonder. The only way to throw us off your trail is to distract us with another (equally) good looking woman who IS dressed up.
And finally, a big cosign to Panama on the timing comment. We have to go after what we want when we see it. Especially if there are other predators around. It’s bad form to move in after another brotha is already making his play for some shex. Hence, the honing of the ability to spot our prey quickly, process the information and act on it quickly.
@The Champ and CleverScreenName,
lol@ cat****. and to CSN, thanks for putting it in perspective. you make sense…i guess the put off is not so much that you approach us at a time when we don’t feel our best, but how you go about the approach (i think that’s been covered a couple times in the replies so far, so no further desecration of the deceased gelding).
@ Clever ScreenName,
*swoon* lol.
i still don’t think this is the case for most guys in that situation. but if some negro hit me with that i might reconsider givin him a side eye and gettin the hell in my car.
@Panama Jackson,
Y’all ladies better listen up because P-Jax is giving y’all gospel and ladies like Me Fail English are dismissing it to hold on to a belief that we are looking for the lowest common denominator. It’s SO not that deep.
You were fine enough to us, we hollared. Please stop over-analyzing it.
@Soula Powa,
Or maybe you’re just missing the point. Regardless of your motive, bagging chicks when they look a hot mess does nothing for your image.
@Me fail english?,
So basically you won’t appreciate a man who can appreciate that you won’t always be made up and dressed to the 9s?
Gurrrrrrrrrrrl, stop.
Isn’t a good thing if he thinks you look like someone he’d like to wake up next to the morning after?
@Deviant,
No question. But it sounded like Charli was describing herself in her daddy’s sweatpants to say she was looking unkempt and disheveled. I’d love for a man to think I’m beautiful when I’m dressed down. But if more men than usual start approaching when I look like “who shot John?”…
That seems like an entirely different animal to me. Like guys who like girls they think are stupid, drunk or equate all other types of flaws and vulnerabilities with “more approachable”.
@Panama Jackson,
Exactly Bruh! Why are these women frontin like they don’t like the attention while they’re busted up?
@charli skipper,
um…also, it’s a bad time to approach me if i’m lookin tore down.
See I actually prefer that. But then again, what do I know?
When she’s just come outta the bathroom. Let her breathe homie.
When she’s with her man.
When she’s PMSing
And sometimes while she’s at work. But sometimes it works
@Da Iceman,
When she’s PMSing
wouldn’t life be much easier if women were forced to rock “hey. how are you doing? i just wanted to let you know that i’m pms-ing, and you probably shouldn’t say sh*t to me for the next 24-72 hours” buttons?
@The Champ,
it’d be just as easy for us.
@The Champ, Life indeed would be much easier. And there’d be a lot more baggin’ and taggin’.
@Da Iceman,
#2…have some respect, for real! speaking for myself, i appreciate the attention–it’s always nice to know that someone else finds me attractive aside from the dude that staked his claim and has his team flag stapled to my butt. but daaaaamn!! he’s standing RIGHT HERE. just smile and nod and roll out or something. appreciate from afar man!
Do not approach me when I am playing cards. I will papercut your little joker azz with the Big Joker, EARLY!
@Naturally Alise,
Especially if you just got set, sir. Watch the board!
@bittersweet’s baby,
so “dammit. i didn’t know you had the big joker. we going blind six. anyway, shorty, wanna go play some poke-her”?
When she’s breathing…
@collegebunni,
this is true. its actually pretty easy to bag b*tches with sleep apnea.
When she’s pregnant. Um, dude I can assure you men are not her favorite species right now. Back off!
@LadyE,
seriously, if a woman doesn’t want a man to approach her, saying “i’m pregnant” works 100,000 times better than “im not interested” or “i have a boyfriend”
@The Champ, you seriously overestimate what certain chaps view as a turnoff. pregnant women aint a turnoff for many a man.
it just means that they can go raw cuz hell…SHE’S ALREADY PREGNANT.
i have witnessed and heard this with my own two eyes and ears.
@Panama Jackson,
YEP! I was approached many a time right up to delivery. I was appalled every time, thinking “Don’t I already look fairly occupied homie?”
Panama, you’re on Glamour! Well all of the Guys on Guyspeak are but you’re my favorite of course
http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/11/this-new-website-that-reveals.html
@LadyE, aww…i like being your favorite! makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
you know i had no clue we were in Glamour. then again, i had no f*ckin’ clue were going to PLASTER perez hilton’s site yesterday either.
i can definitely add that to my list of accomplishments, my face was on perez hilton’s site and not for some f*ckery.
@Panama Jackson,
i was thinking more along the lines of “relationship interest bag” instead of “bag to just bone”
@The Champ,
You would think so. But I think that only works when there is a possibility it may be his, lol.
Once you’re clearly knocked up and homedude isn’t responsible apparently its allllll good. I don’t get it, but I know I experienced it.
@LadyE,
What is it with men and pregnant women? Lol. granted I was uber happy, sickeningly, annoyingly happy but dude…you don’t see all this here stomach…?
@Smiley Face,
All I could think of is the “you can’t get a pregnant chick pregnant” philosophy.
Well maybe it’s the thought that “Hey clearly she’s f***in, hey why not me?”
@LadyE,
Yea, but she could be f**kin her significant other.
@Deeds,
Come on Deeds. We all know that ninja bailed out soon as he heard her say, “I’m late”.
Oooh, I know when! If you see a group of women huddled around a visibly sad looking woman, and there’s ice-cream and all kinds of calorific treats, then you my brother just witnessed an intervention or commiseration in progress. Do not attempt to holla at the women (esp. not the sad looking one!). You will be made to pay for the injustices that women have borne for centuries from brothas who don’t ——-. I just saw a guy cussed out for this at the coffee shop a while back. Brutal and drawn out.
@Wanjiru,
If you see a group of women huddled around a visibly sad looking woman, and there’s ice-cream and all kinds of calorific treats
so, basically, never approach a woman at applebees?
@Wanjiru,
That’s what they get for crying in public. HAHHAHAHA!
While I’m driving. If my windows are down or not, do NOT flag me down and ask me to pull over. That’s border line serial killer type sh*t. I will speed off and if you attempt to follow I might bust one on ya, OK! Here’s your warning: Proceed with caution!
When I’m pumping gas. Especially if I didn’t see you coming and you pop up out of no where scaring the sh*t out of me, thus causing me to spill this already expensive a$$ gas. Talking ’bout, “hey baby, can I call you sometime?” Umm…slim you don’t know me.
You bound to catch a two-piece!
@CoCoDelite,
You bound to catch a two-piece!
$149.86
thats how much i’d pay to watch someone get hit with a two piece while the other person was still pumping gas
@The Champ,
“$149.86″
Too funny! That’s such a random figure…
@CoCoDelite, While I’m driving. If my windows are down or not, do NOT flag me down and ask me to pull over. That’s border line serial killer type sh*t.
see, stuff like that didn’t used to be serial killer type sh*t. it used to be charming, sweet, and adventurous.
i blamed cell phones before. now i’m blaming the CSI series, lawyer shows, unsolved mysteries, and Barney for this stuff.
i really am curious as to when stuff that used to be “more okay” became damn near criminal intent?
@Panama Jackson,
“i really am curious as to when stuff that used to be “more okay” became damn near criminal intent?”
When shows such as CSI, Law & Order, 48 Hours Mystery, etc., started giving “already serial killer minded folks” more clever ideas on how to kidnap and kill people. Although I love watching these shows (for obvious reasons), I feel like they release too much information about how/when/where someone was able to capture another person. So yeah, BLAME the crime tv shows.
@CoCoDelite,
LOL. My dad is like that. He pulled into the driveway with my mom and some old man walks by, passing in front of the car. He wouldnt let her out the car cuz “what if he starts shooting?!”. Are you effing kidding me? He’s on a walker! Then my dad starts hatching a plan about how my mom should run into the house and my dad will accelerate into the senior citizen if he tries anything. Tries anything like what? Only Papa English and the producers of Unsolved Mysteries know the answer. smh.
@Me fail english?,
LOL, comical! I can understand your dads point. He may be just a little paranoid; but can you fault him for wanting to protect the woman he loves (even if the man is in a walker)? People are crazy…some senior citizen can be very disgruntle and may be looking for revenge. My great-grandfather is a WWII vet and when he was like 80 something he still walked around with a pistol in tote. He wasn’t a very innocent senior citizen.
You should always be aware of your surroundings, have an alternate escape route and if all else feels be prepared to bust a cap in somebody’s a$$.
@CoCoDelite, car-to-car kinda dies at age 21.
and at the Voluntary Test Centers for HIV testing. Before any of you have your test results back. Will.not.work.
@Wanjiru,
not even if you remember them there from a month before?
Worst times to approach a black woman
If she looks like she is out for revenge.
If you have a job, never been to prison, good character, and no girlfriend or wife
At the bar (this is only applies to men that don’t pay for drinks to get a number)
If it’s obvious she is trying to get somewhere
@Humble_One,
Booooo! (Insert SideEye HERE)* Methinks the time of approach is being given more weight than the actual approach. If you’re really tellin’ her sumthin good, she’ll be receptive. However, if it’s bufoonery in motion…do take cover. Stop scapegoating us cuz some of y’all lack the gift of gab.
*Really, a SideEye emotie would be the bizness!
@bittersweet’s baby,
Thank you. That comment about dont approach black women if you got your stuff together gets a side-eye and big “Negro, please”.
It’s not the approach that turned them off. It was you.
@Me fail english?,
I dunno boo you see all these posts ^^^^ all these chicks got this laundry Kameelah list of times not to approach. I read someone said don’t approach you if I’m around MY friends lol.
@Dorian G.,
Yeah. Without a doubt the vss’ seem kinda antisocial. It’s usually a great time to approach me since I like meeting new ppl and talking to them, even if I have no romantic interest whatsoever. I was just talking about dude saying if you’re an eligible bachelor dont approach the black women. Come on now…
@Dorian G., i’m with you hombre. let’s be real. one thing we’ve all learned is how easy it is for dudes to get the cold shoulder in general. hell, based on some things we read, there’s actually NEVER a good time. it’s not SO far fetched, even tongue in cheek.
which explains why so many women are lonely.
um…shots.fired.?
@Me Fail English?,
Yeah. Without a doubt the vss’ seem kinda antisocial.
I was about to say. What’s up with the laundry list of “don’t approach me”… In a walmart? Why ever not?
@Dorian G., That was me. I don’t really think it’s asking too much to put a little distance between us and the five friends you’re with if you’re really trying to holla. Half the time, when I’m approached by a guy with his friends there are two (or more) of them trying to talk to me at the same time and that ish is not cute.
The other half of the time, the guys are all talking over each other and trying to convince me why I should be talking to their boy. I wasn’t trying to say don’t approach if you are out with your boys, but don’t have them standing right next to you just watching the scene like it’s playing out on television, I didn’t ask to be anyone’s spectacle. And, if they’re the type to want to jump in and try to dominate the conversation, really don’t have them next to you. I don’t think asking for a little distance is asking too much, especially considering it was only 1 of 2 things on my list, but I guess it is too much. *shrugs*
@Me fail english?,
How are you going to know he has his ish together if he tries to talk to yuou in passing? From my experience the dudes with the greatest skills in bulls***ting. Usually get in upfront. A dudes isn’t going to step up to you and say “Hello my name is ____ and I have my ish together”.
@Humble_One,
What are you talking about?
You said one of the worst times to approach a black woman is when you haven’t done time in prison, don’t have a lady, etc. I called BS. Meaning if you’ve found that to be a bad time to approach a black woman there is smthg seriously wrong with you that goes far beyond your “approach”.
@bittersweet’s baby,
“Stop scapegoating us cuz some of y’all lack the gift of gab.”
I can talk. But the issue is the “gift of gab”. A brotha has less than 2 minutes to give a verbal display of the special effects in the Matrix, an episode of Dave Chapelle, and the intelligence Einstein. Maybe I’ve been lucky because I have won without being able to do any of those things.
@Humble_One, two minutes??? you must be talking to the slow chicks. lol.
try 30 seconds pal.
@Panama Jackson,
“try 30 seconds pal.”
And he better not stutter or it’s a wrap!
@Panama Jackson,
divide by 2 for each additional friend standing in the wings.
1 friend? 15 seconds.
2 friends? 7.5 seconds.
3 friends? 3.75 seconds.
4 friends? Just jog by and shout “Wanna bone?”
Don’t approach me when…
…I’m in a rush.
…I’m with my boss.
…I’m with children.
…I’m on a date with another dude…and he’s standing right next to me you rude a*hole!
…you knew I was checkin out ya man.
@Me fail english?,
…you knew I was checkin out ya man.
thats gay
@Me fail english?,
…you knew I was checkin out ya man .
Let the church say AMEN!
@Me fail english?, a few women have stated the “in a rush” thing.
really just how are men supposed to know that you’re in a rush? if you aint on a full out run, it aint always so obvious.
@Panama Jackson,
It’s pretty obvious with me. And I know you notice if you’re starting the convo with “Slow down. Can’t you just stop and talk?” No. You can either speed walk with me or move on to the next one. Missing my train is not an option.
Really though, who moves in slow motion when they’re in a rush?
@Me fail english?,
i just really laughed at the image of some dude speed walking down the street with a woman!
i think that if its “on my way to work” hours….then maybe its not a good time. i got my books and my bag and my coffee and im headed to my car around 8am. maybe you can hold off…i mean, i can try to listen, but all i will hear is the time ticking as you make me late for work/school.
@Me fail english?,
…you knew I was checkin out ya man.
This has got to be the worst time for me! I mean seriously, did you not just see me CHECK out your friend? And now because of my personal policy of not being rude to dudes who approach me, I have to make small talk and be nice. Ugh! ANNOYING.
@Sula,
Child, just ask the one that approached you “Can you put me on with ya friend?”. That actually worked for me before. You just gotta say before he gets the chance to ask for your #. And some dudes will start hating and get salty. Wompington on them.
Don’t approach me if you’re 40 years older than me and about 100lbs overweight and sitting down making the psst psst sound for me to respond. Then expect me to walk over towards you and talk to you.
@Deeds,
whats the point of growing old if you cant say inappropriate things to young women?
@The Champ, right. i personally look forward to being a dirty old man.
@Panama Jackson,
when they asked kids what they wanted to be when they grew up I said a dirty old man
…the mental picture of this is f*cking hilarious.
Children are the future.
@AkShone,
I was in the second grade. The teacher said on my progress report that I disrupt the class. I threw that progress report in the trash.
@Deviant,
I’m weak at this.
I Mostly Reject Approaches When:
He has a Ring on His Finger (or in his glove compartment.)
He has a lady at home who mistakenly thought they were exclusive. <– worseR if she's knocked up.
I've just told you politely 3 or more times I'm not interested.
You're walking your toy poodle. You're suspect, have a good day.
You've clearly been tryna get at my friend seconds before. (Not to be confused with that Triangle theory some dudes live by.)
It's after I've already walked by. I'm so not a fan of backtracking in the first place and y'all ain't slick anyway! Every girl knows you're sizing up her booty at some point during the first encounter. No need to be so obvious, fellas.
@bittersweet’s baby,
“It’s after I’ve already walked by. I’m so not a fan of backtracking in the first place and y’all ain’t slick anyway! Every girl knows you’re sizing up her booty at some point during the first encounter. No need to be so obvious, fellas.”
LOL. These guys are dumb as bricks. I know why you’re insisting that I walk ahead of you and frankly it’s turning me all the way off. Who’s 13 year old, meat beating, little brother are you? Actin like you never seen ass before. Ugh!
@bittersweet’s baby, He has a lady at home who mistakenly thought they were exclusive. <– worseR if she’s knocked up.
and just how would you know this?
@Panama Jackson,
Same question came to my mind. Lol!
@Panama Jackson,
The chick at home? Oh cuz lots of dudes will say they’re in a situation after you press them to define exactly how single they are. If they think there’s the slightest chance you got a lil open relationship in you, there are two standard explanations…
a.) He has a girl who just doesn’t understand him OR b.) He has a “situation” but that should have no bearing on your potential friendship…
But you find out bout the bun in the oven only if you entertain the foolishness long enough for him to try to explain what drove him to seek other female companionship in the first place. Or when your homegirl overhears sumthin at the salon…
Damn! Reading all this makes me wonder if there’s ever really a good time to approach black women.
My perspective- no two people are alike. What works for the goose doesn’t always work for the gander (whatever the hell a gander is). What will get you choke-slammed by one will get you a home cooked meal from another. Beyond that, the same approach that got you rejected today, might work for him tomorrow.
Chances are, if you are a 6-foot; Morris Chestnut, Shemar Moore, Malik Yoba, or the Negro-De-Jour look-a-like; and you are a masterful game spitter, the time place and circumstances won’t matter. For the rest of us, if she doesn’t appreciate your approach, you’re better off rolling on to someone who would.
I don’t spit game because I have none. I’m simply me. I’ll attempt to engage her in conversation. If she’s receptive, cool. If not, while it may sting a bit at first, oh well. NEXT!
It’s really a numbers game. If your style of approach appeals to one out of 20 black women, then approaching 100 BW should result in about 5 telephone numbers, that is assuming, she’s feeling good about herself, she’s not in Wal-mart, the moon is full, the ocean is at high tide, and it’s the year of the rabbit. In other words, if you’re interested, go for it. You’ll either succeed or you won’t.
@Caballeroso,
What will get you choke-slammed by one will get you a home cooked meal from another.
or both from the same chick if she’s from the south
@The Champ,
exactly.
@Caballeroso,
I don’t spit game because I have none. I’m simply me.
That’s game right there! The non-having game game.
But I agree with all you said though. It really is a matter of LUCK.
Weak @ Negro-Du-Jour….
@Sula, I’ll be looking for you in Wal-mart tonight! Wear your best flip-flops.
@Caballeroso,
i don’t buy that you don’t have game. EVERYONE got game. E V E R Y O N E. kats they say they don’t are normally MVP’s.
@cam1ll3,
How do you figure that? Just curious.
@Shay,
having game is playing an angle. some people are very concious of they angle they play, others are barely aware that they even have potential. in either case, game abounds. i only learned this because a gentleman who was (still sorta kinda is in a directly in direct fashion) the object of my affection pointed out to me that despite my thoughts to the contrary, i had game. “psshhh me? absolutely not. that’s geigh. i don’t do pick up lines and i don’t have a strategy for picking a dude up.” he let me know that game didn’t have to include that…knowing what/when to say things alone was sufficient (ie: he says to me “i’m a regular dude…there’s nothing really special about me” to which i replied “maybe to someone else, but to me everything about you is special and intriguing.” i meant it sincerely because i have much, much, much love for this kat, but he showed me–it was game).
folk who play the quiet observant role–that is the area they’re most comfortable in, but that is their angle. the kat who oozes charm and charisma and breaks the ice without a pick? personality is his angle. even folk that think they’re not strategizing–”either he/she is going to dig me or he/she won’t”–no plan is their angle (and most people go for that–”he’s so real!! he doesn’t play any games.” haha.) it rings true for me and i believe that.
@cam1ll3
“kats they say they don’t are normally MVP’s.”
We gotta stay humble. Ha!
when it’s early-ninja it’s 8am, no I do not have time to “make a new friend” GTFOH
@VeronicaCorningstoneD,
lol, thats a first. i dont think i’ve ever heard a “too early” before
@VeronicaCorningstoneD,
Hmm, this can be true. I’m definitely not a morning person. Especially on a pre-java Monday.
@VeronicaCorningstoneD,
word v.
After reading the responses, my question is…when IS the best time to approach black women. I understand some of the responses, but d@mn. There are a lot of stipulations to when a brotha’s window of opportunity is at full mass.
…enlighten the VSB’s
@AkShone,
Ya know, I dont think there are so many scenarios here. A lot of these are just the same situation being repeated. Basically, if I dont look like I feel like shooting the isht just dont chat me up. Seems reasonable to me.
Also, some women are just not outwardly friendly. My theory is that the more intellectual women (who tend to frequent this site) are more Type A’s, less extroverted/sociable types. Maybe they’re shy or just socially awkward. There are plenty of black women who can be aprroached at any time. And as a bonus, if you’re fine you can approach whenevr you feel like it
.
@Me fail english?,
Maybe they’re shy or just socially awkward.
What exactly are you saying Me Fail? ::snickers::
@Sula,
LOL! That wasn’t a subliminal!!! It’s just that I’m one of like two people I know in real life that frequents a blog (much less comments on one). So I have this stereotype in my head of brainy type As mostly being online. I feel like they’re less sociable.
*did NOT bail myself out with this*
@Me fail english?,
*did NOT bail myself out with this*
Yep. You sure didn’t. Lol!
But I see what you are saying though. And I think we all have that “stereotype” in our heads… because I don’t know people in real life who frequent blogs as well! (Actually I seldom aknowledge that I do… on the regular.
)
@AkShone,
the most efficient time to approach women seems to be when there’s actually time to approach (both waiting in line, waiting for a bus/train, at a house party/get together, etc)
other than that its pretty much a crap shoot. unless, of course, you’re the champ. then it becomes spades.
@The Champ, I co-sign this. If she’s a captive enough audience with no visible excuse not to fit in a word or two, you in there. If she can blow you off even then, she’s a douchebag not worth your time.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
For some reason, this is the FIRST time I’ve ever heard a woman referred to as a douchebag.
@AkShone, social settings are great or just whenever you see one you cannot resist, or stand to let pass you by……..
@OrangeStar616,
“whenever you see one you cannot resist, or stand to let pass you by…”
Lol, well I’m pretty sure the examples upthread fall under this.
Honestly, this whole when/when not approach method is subjective for the most part. It’s just funny to see the examples of when a woman doesn’t want to be approached.
I just picture some brotha writing down all these examples on a sheet of paper and when he sees a woman he’s interested in, he pulls out the paper and runs down the list across “Don’t approach me when (insert logical time to approach a woman)”, and whispers to himself, “f*ck!”
@AkShone,
I just picture some brotha writing down all these examples on a sheet of paper and when he sees a woman he’s interested in, he pulls out the paper and runs down the list across “Don’t approach me when (insert logical time to approach a woman)”, and whispers to himself, “f*ck!”
lol, this is probably happening right now
@AkShone,
Oh, was i not supposed to… “f*ck!” I guess I have no game, either.
too many restrictions and rules….thats why I approached black women whenever I felt like I wanted to. Who feels like rememebring all these scenarios. I take a shot if it dont work so what move on to the next one. Too many women on this planet without such hangups to be worried about all thse arbitrary rules and restrictions.
basically my take is..screw these rules. I’ll get on you in church in front of your kids with a square in my mouth and a drink in my hand and you’ll like it…at least I would…I’ve turned in my card some months ago.
@Deviant,
I’ll get on you in church in front of your kids with a square in my mouth and a drink in my hand and you’ll like it… .
::Taking a peek around and whispering::
I would probably like it. LMAO
@V Renee,
LOL!
@V Renee,
I know. Its ok. You aint gotta be shamed.
@V Renee, I **D*I*E*D**
@Deviant, “some rules can be bent while others can be broken”
@OrangeStar616,
better yet they can all be outright ignored
@Deviant, i’m with you 100 percent. f*ck a rule. if i got that feeling then hell i’ll take the chance. either its a good time or it ain’t.
plus, if you can charm a chick…any time is a good time.
unless she looks like she never smiles and believe you me, you can tell a chick who never smiles. she just looks evil.
@Panama Jackson, charisma is a beautiful thing esp when used properly….
@Panama Jackson,
i second that. time isn’t as crucial as approach. and it’s not even so much charm as it is respect for the lady’s intelligence–a simple “hey how you doin’ this morning. i don’t want to interrupt your day too much, but if you had a few minutes, i’d like to go out for a (insert harmless beverage/snack of your choice here)with you. may i?” that works in church, on the way to/from work and in the grocery store.
@Deviant,
Exactly.
oooh…y’all picky, lol! How they s’posed to know all of this, especially when or not you’re rushing or you’re pms’ing? LOL.
Don’t approach me after you’ve seen me holding hands with another man…that’s just tacky and rude.
Don’t try to spin game when I’m pregnant, compliments are fine, but none of the ying yang you try to be talking oh and (B) don’t try to approach when in the ER while pregnant and breathing in and out real slow, while I’m waiting for the fam to park the car… o_O…true story.
@Smiley Face,
I was aproached at the ER before… that’s just tacky and messy, lol
@Naturally Alise,
I was like…you don’t see me in labor fool?!!!! o_O
LMAO….during PMS and/or the first day of her cycle LOL
@OrangeStar616,
Haha. I’m actually a friendly mense-r. I just cry a whoooooole lot. I’ll try to hold it together if he’s cute though.
@Me fail english?, LOL I too am very emo during this time, very much so!!!!
It depends on the dude tho, you know he may approach right way ,with the right thing to say, in the right spirit and intent etc…that type of thing can brighten a girls day
@OrangeStar616,
Truth. I tend to get snappy during Aunt Flo’s visit, but if it’s the right guy? He can definitely make my bloated, crampy, not-having-a-happy-period day.
@Cheekie, OrangeStar626, Me fail English?
Ok… going to stop reading soon… The last few comments are not where I though this post was going. Can we get a Charli Skipper award over here?
@OrangeStar616,
how is a guy supposed to know this?
@Deviant,
*shrug*
She probably won’t be smiling. Which is another rule…so…there ya go.
@Cheekie,
screw these rules
@Deviant,
Haha, I feel ya. But, just know that you are always taking a risk with us. lol
@Deviant, honey I said even then the right dude is exempt from this…
There are a lot of comments so I may have missed some but I will add:
1.) When I am with my mother. I have had guys try to approach me when I am with my mom. Are you insane? Maybe you should smile or wink or something and I can excuse myself for a second but do you have any idea what you are about to put yourself through if you try to approach me and my mother is standing there? It is just rude.
2.) When I am on my cell phone. I cant tell you how many times dudes try to approach me when I am on my phone. That ish is not cute! I am talking and you are rude and obviously cannot respect me so you will not get my number. Thank you.
3.) When I am walking and you are in your car. I am not a prostitute, don’t holler at me. Besides, I have a theory that cute men don’t holla at women when they are in their cars anyway. Only the “less attractive ones do.” If you are really interested, park your car and come talk to me. I had a guy do that to me once. I saw him driving by and I thought he was cute. Next thing I knew, I realized he had parked his car in the parking lot and walked up to me. He got my number just because it was respectful.
Anything else?
@MiaBee,
I’ve always feared your number one would happen to me, but it hasn’t yet. I’ve noticed guys are interested when I’m with my mama, but never have the cojones to approach me. I think it has something to do with her death stare. I was with her at Chili’s recently and the waiter appeared to be interested in me, but she had him shaking in his loafers.
@MiaBee,
continuing in my debunking of rules I can list occasions on which all these rules have been broken with great sucess by me or an amigo.
In high school I would flirt with girls I knew in front of their moms if I knew their moms thought highly of me. I was told by some of the elders on the block (guys out of high school) that this was effective because ther moms would allow u to visit the girl without her supervision if you were on her good side or thought you were a good guy.
one time I was riding with my cousin at Waterside. He can get on a girl no matter what she is doing…he has probly broken every single rule listed on this post and the comments. He was riding shotgun hollerin at girls out the window. One girl was on the phone when my cousin made the gimmie your phone number sign with his hands. She displayed with her free hand her number digit by digit. He called the number and she clicked over to explain how she was on the phone with her dude but she was saving his number in her phone. It was a great moment in hook up history.
@MiaBee,
how should we know its your mom?
@MiaBee,
Well, I’ve had a guy try to talk to me in his car when I’m with my mother. Then he asks me is that your sister or your mother. Now, no disrespect to my mother, but she obviously looks like my mother, not my sister.
@Deeds,
no disrespect to my mother, but she obviously looks like my mother, not my sister.
That just means he has good manners and know that older women (or women in general) are sensible to compliments. He’s trying to get in a nod of approval from the mother unit.
Simple.
@Sula,
thats what its all about. You gotta get the mom on your side
@Sula,
Haha. But sucking up to a middle-aged woman as if to say she looks like she could be in her 20s (esp if she doesnt look that way) seems cheesy and insincere. At least she and Mama Deeds will get a good chuckle out of it once they speed off.
i agree with this list. lol number one i really don’t get at all. its like women say: “we’re gonna go to the club and just dance. we’re not going to talk to anyone, f*ck men. we’re just gonna dance.” then the friends (who are usually considerably less attractive) want to play the roll of haters because no one is talking to them. lol. this is where a good wing man comes into play. he has to take one for the team.
@Tunde,
this is where a good wing man comes into play. he has to take one for the team.
sometimes two or three in the same night
Other bad times to approach a Black chick:
- Right after she just broke up with her boyfriend who just came out of the closet…especially if you are wearing skinny jeans.
- Right after seeing her exit the theatre where The Color Purple (the broadway play) is playing.
- While she’s walking with her Big Mama, who will most likely resemble Madea.
Champers: What happened to my comment? I know it was random and silly (and my name was slightly changed), but dag nabbit I was sick so I deserve to make myself laugh here. lol
*pout*
FINE.
I’ll re-copy it here:
Other bad times to approach a Black chick:
- Right after she just broke up with her boyfriend who just came out of the closet…especially if you are wearing skinny jeans.
- Right after seeing her exit the theatre where The Color Purple (the broadway play) is playing.
- While she’s walking with her Big Mama, who will most likely resemble Madea.
That’s what I get for trying to change my VSB name to Cheekie (had non-H1N1 sickeness yesterday). *sigh*
@Cheekie,
Haha! They quarantined yo’ ass.
@Me fail english?,
I know!!! *pout*
Ol’ paranoid folks. lol
@Cheekie,
i already had to deal with one outbreak monkey last week. two is past my limit
@The Champ,
It’s okay, Champ, you didn’t mean any harm so…
…
WAIT.
o_O
Did you just call me an ‘outbreak monkey’?
Go sit down somehere and shave your knuckle hair.
Hmph.
PLEASE do not approach me in the hospital or emergency room waiting area!! You will seem insensitive even if I’m not the one in need of care (say I’m there with a friend or family member). Dont tell me to smile it will be ok because kneegrow you do not know me like that! Do not tell me pray because you do not know my faith. In any instance do not speak to me and definitely do not try to get my number or tell me I’m beautiful. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. YOU FAIL!
Oh yea do not approach me while I am at the jeweler, while I’m rocking out to my ipod, while I’m walking (and clearly in a rush to get to my destination) or while I am in the feminine products aisle at tarjay!
@Futurelawyer2011,
welcome and sh*t, and good luck on finding men who only approach non-walking, paraplegic women.
Just wondering…
but why is it so hard for men to tell when women dont feel like making small talk? I feel like if the topic was “Worst times to start a convo with a black man” there’d be all types of when the game is on, while he parallel parks, when he just got home from work… and women would totally say “we already knew that
we just dont give a fcuk“. But men are acting like this shet is breaking news and completely beyond their capabilities to figure out when they should shut the fcuk up.If she’s moving faster than everybody else, she’s rushing…so shut the fcuk up.
If she’s by herself looking raggedy, she’s probably NOT in the mood for small talk…so shut the fcuk up.
If she looks like she’s in any kind of zone (from sleep, smoke, iPod deep convo)…please…for the love BBJ…shut the fcuk up.
This really shouldnt be that hard. And all this time I thought men KNEW when we didnt wanna talk but just didnt give a damn…
@Me fail english?, I don’t give a damn about when the game is on (play by play ain’t that great these days anyway)…but if I wanna hear something on the radio or TV, that finger is coming up.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Lol! What finger? The index for “shhhh” or the middle for “I dont think she’s violent” or is it the single finger push to a forehead (that would be mad funny)?
@Me fail english?, LOL, it’s the former, that “shut the entire f*ck up so I can hear the speaker finish making an excellent point I’m glad he brought up” finger…AKA the index.
@Me fail english?, it ain’t that hard LOL for real it really isn’t….. the ONE can roll up to you @ th eworst possible time and I’d wager we’d be receptive to a degree, for example say if you just had a colllison in your new whip and “dude” rolls up to see if you were ok, not the best of circumstances but I guess I feel like whats meant to be will be in all scenarios
@OrangeStar616,
That would’ve made that car accident totally worth it!
@Me fail english?, AMEN sister! Cosign everything you just said!!
I live in Crown Heights (not the Jewish part.. ahem) and I effing hate it when I’m coming home from work all dressed and sh*t and some dude with a doorag and fitted and sagging pants says some ish like, “Hey sexy, can I talk to you?” Ummm NO! Like why would you think someone who’s dressed all proper and professionally would be susceptible to that kinda weak azz not to mention offensive game?? And looking like you look? FAIL
Other times…
If you’re holding a broom in your hand and have on a green one piece dickey suit with “Parks and Recreation,” “Keep NY clean”, etc. on it..
After asking me for the time.. If you try to follow up with game after this, you’ll be shut down just for trying to use some whack azz segue to talk to me…
On the bus… I already don’t wanna be on here, this was the last resort – and you’re looking mad comfortable and sh*t. Umm no sorry (Disclaimer: this doesn’t apply to the train as I work in the Financial District, so he could possibly be a baller lol… not that I’m a gold digger or anything
)
@BKSweetheart,
“fitted and sagging pants ”
BWHAHAHAH! Yup. You are DEFINITELY in Crown Heights (or possibly (East) Flatbush!). The skinny jean isht aint nothing new up here.
@BKSweetheart, that Parks and Rec brother might be making more than me if he’s been at it for while. and the benefits are probably good as hell.
@Dee,
In NYC. The City gardeners (which I guess is different from P&R but whateva) start off making more than rookie cops…which isnt very hard to do since rookies start at like $35K.
@Me fail english?,
The thing is the things listed don’t even make sense! How is a man supposed to know that a woman doesn’t like being approached in WalMart? I mean, uh?
Or that when she is wearing sweaters she doesn’t like being approached. Or when she is reading a book that will not disappear if she stops reading it for 5 minutes and go back to it? Those are SO subjective.
I can understand why the overwhelming feeling might be that BW in general don’t like to be approached.
@Sula,
The thing is the things listed don’t even make sense! How is a man supposed to know that a woman doesn’t like being approached in WalMart? I mean, uh?
Or that when she is wearing sweaters she doesn’t like being approached. Or when she is reading a book that will not disappear if she stops reading it for 5 minutes and go back to it? Those are SO subjective.
**nodding head**
plus, like p said upthread, there’s a chance we might not ever see you again, so many times we have to take advantage of whatever small window we have
@The Champ,
“Or that when she is wearing sweaters she doesn’t like being approached.”
LMAO! Nobody said that one!
…did they?
@Me fail english?,
jsu sarcasm. some of the rules just seem arbitrary and silly to us.
@Sula,
The “dont approach me at WalMart or while I’m wearing dress shoes” comments were far less frequent than the “dont approach me when I’m pregnant” (logical) ones.
And if a woman is not tryna get approached at WalMart, the beach, when she has on a sweater she’s probably wearing the stank-face to prove it. For most people that is the cue to back off.
I’m pretty outgoing and talkative in real life. If I can read who’s down to make small talk, all these grown men in here probably can too.
After looking at some of the women-folks’ response on here, one can preclude that it is NEVER a good time to approach BW.
SMH…
Do not approach black women…
…when you need a haircut, have dirty fingernails, or your halitosis hasn’t been addressed.
…when your shoes are unshined, dirty, or rolled over b/c of worn down heels.
@Caballeroso,
Haha. That second one may be the most universal rule posted yet. Effed up shoes=dry black box.
@Me fail english?,
dry black box
great imagery. thanks for ruining the sh*t i stole from the japanese buffet
OK *stopped reading around comment 14 to weigh in*, I don’t think a lot of y’all like being approached at all honestly. Because when is the goddamn right time? Ladies come off like they want their husband to just come out of nowhere the very minute she’s ready and the ultimate courtship is under way. A man really gotta just go ahead and take chances because he never knows when he might win. Sure you don’t wanna freak the girl out (so leave her alone in those obviously creepy situations), but closed mouths don’t get fed.
Anyway, here’s where I leave it alone:
-When she’s all absorbed in her little phone. Painfully obvious that she will grind you beneath her foot like a cigarette the minute she starts dialing.
-Her sitting at the bus stop. Only because I’ve had enough bad experiences of parking or turning back to go for it, and that’s when the bus pulls right up!
-When she’s with a child of any age. Chances are she’s still with the father, don’t bother. Besides, do you really wanna hear that awkward “who’s that, mommy?”
-When old girl is all mad and sad, she will blow you off like dust on the coffee table
I got a million of ‘em. But so many of those situations already named are basically a judgment call. Women have gotten extra crabby in recent years about when a man can say hello, and it’s really f*cked up and unhealthy, got guys second guessing everything.
One more thing: Who else remembers when the Taurus wagon was the car to hook up in the hood? Or was that just an L.A. thing?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
One more thing: Who else remembers when the Taurus wagon was the car to hook up in the hood? Or was that just an L.A. thing?
like c-bo, this seems to be another unexplainable west coast phenomenon.
worst time to hit on me: AT A FUNERAL…omg, every time i remember that dude who sat behind me dressed like he about to hit the club with his stank whisper scorching my neck and ear…too much. talking ’bout “i like your hair…is it yours?” then 5 mins later asking me “so can a brotha get dem digits or what?” yeh, um, no
@nikki87,
LMAO! I love this guy… (as long as he’s not hitting on me)
@Me fail english?,
lol…gurl i dunno which was worse, that he was hitting on me at a funeral or that he was all up on the side of my face….i turned to give him the side eye and BAM! he was right there!
Never chat me up when I’m in the library.
I don’t care if you find intelligent girls sexy. I am studying…. go away. And if I’m in the library for a long time.. I usually have no make-up on so…. please… go away again.
And when there is a biiiiig group of guys on the street… and I am the only girl in sight… wearing something tight… = do not approach me. I didn’t wear those clothes for you, you just happened to see me that day.
Yeah, co-sign with being in a rush. It’s just annoying. Or after a long day and I’m coming home… and a guy has the audacity to ask me…’why don’t you want to smile’… unless you are exceedingly good looking, please don’t ask me to smile. Because I won’t.
Orrrr… when I’m wearing a suit.. I find that guys in suits approach me.
Then when I’m wearing skinny jeans and a t-shirt, I find that hoodrats approach me.
Why can’t the guy in a suit approach me when I’m in skinny jeans…?
@Roro,
The guys in suits obviously want something classy. The hoodrats think you look like someone who would roll with them when in skinny jeans…
@Roro,
welcome and sh*t.
and, for curiosity’s sake, when exactly should a guy approach you?
@The Champ,
LOL. I don’t know… any other time?
Ok, reading back what I wrote I do sound a bit unapproachable…
Approach me when I am with friends, on a sunny day, when I’m smiling, when I have nothing to do/think about but relax…… on a sunday………
@Roro,
We still won’t approach you with friends. Your ugly friend will always make this experience unpleasant.
@CPT Callamity,
LOL, but ugly friends make me feel/look more beautiful…. therefore making me more attractive??? Therefore that’s the best time to approach me…
If you approach me when i’m with pretty friends… we will scrutinize you…
some of the later responses from men is why I did NOT list reasons outside of a bad hormone day and even then if approached right its all good………….
I do think some things are in bad taste, but overall I agree with some of the men in, nothing ventured nothing gained….”I got to know you now, we may never meet again” Amy Winehouse
Is it me or is the best time to approach a woman is when you’re with a woman that looks better than she does?
@The Hallway,
Bwahahahaha!! You might be right because that’s the only thing that has not been listed!
@Sula,
LOL. My male friends actually say this works. *weeps for feminine unity*
@The Hallway,
LOL
@The Hallway, while is it very true some women do make a brothas stock rise LOL, if I see guy with someone else as in, on a date, possibly his woman etc o_O and then dude gets a free moment in the clear & comes over to approach o_O, young stop playin………, not only is that tacky and disrespectful to whoever he is with, it also implies, that my standards ain’t that high etc………..I guess that works on weak insecure women who feel as tho they have one upped that fly b*tch LOL, weak meaning wack, as in bama ass brawds need therapy SMH!!!!!!
@OrangeStar616,
Couldn’t agree more. That’s definitely a quantity over quality strategy. Not to mention, what kinda desperate broad is he assuming me to be to think I’d take a shot at another chick’s leftovers. OFFENSIVE!
Some dude at the gym tried pulling that bullshty. Uh…hello! She goes to our same gym you sloppy, disrespectful as*hole. Sux too, cuz he was fine. But cuz of that, not even next lifetime.
@Me fail english?,
They dnt exactly have to be a courting couple, they cud simply be friends.
U like the VSB bully, huh?
@The Hallway,
“U like the VSB bully, huh?”
Damn, that hurt. Why I gotta be all that?
Anyhow, unless the girl told me herself “Nah, he’s just my people” I’d assume dude was tryna be slick and get turned off. Like OrangeStar said tho, nobody’s disputing that it works. It just wouldnt make a guy seem more attractive to me.
@The Hallway, U like the VSB bully, huh
Don’t say that! Me Fails’ just offering another perspective. That’s all, Hallway. Alls fair in love and on VSB
@pgh muse,
Luv my ED
@Me fail english?, that sh* t is offensive as he11 and only a plumb fool falls for that kind of phcukery and/or someone whose self esteem is dayum near nonexistent….po’ sad lil tings chile I tells ya and the gaul of some mf’ers right??? These sad lil brawds done siced up a many a weak nigga, weak cause he even goes there to get fed and the siced ego is why they approach on that BS TBW
@OrangeStar616,
Zora Neale Hurston is that you???? LMAO ROTFL
@The Hallway,
It does work, I either have the girl approach for me or we do some Will/Jada type sh…. N dnt front like you wouldn’t wanna leave with 2 good-lookin mofos.
Its all about teamwork, baby.
Alot of Women are latent homochexuals anyway. *Rock Eyebrow*
@The Hallway, noboby disputed whether it works, we know there are plenty of willing victims, I mean participants out here LOL
@OrangeStar616,
I like victims more.*Sinister Laugh*
@The Hallway, LLS and smh tho,
PSA: You can approach V RENEE at any time!! There is not a bad time to approach me!!!!!
Unless you look like Flava Flav.
That is all!
@V Renee, girl you know you’ll date a Flavor Flav clone.
@Panama Jackson,
Take it back!!!!!! I rebuke that statement. Lol
@V Renee,
Unless you look like Flava Flav.
Even then… it still makes for a good a$$ story!
@V Renee,
Now that is the attitude to have. V Renee is not trying to block her blessing. You wouldn’t happen to be in the South Florida area, would you?
@Soula Powa,
See now thats creepy.*throws V Renee a super soaker filled with mase and pepper spray concoction*
J/p, my dude
@The Hallway,
regarding the j/p: so was I. I didn’t pay it no mind.
@The Hallway,
.*throws V Renee a super soaker filled with mase and pepper spray concoction* .
::snickering::
@thechamp
and bringing it back on topic, have you found that there are inappropriate places to use this pickup line?
(hahahahaha i kill myself)
while at a hospital. while your gf who brought u to the hospital has stepped away.
not only is at least one of us sick, but now when your gf returns i get to realize how horrible of a person u are.
Virgin poster, BTW…
LOL @ being hollered at while shopping for “girl-week” products….try Monistat! And was pursing me HARD…
I don’t mind being approached, just as long as you’re not rude. I tend to give off a friendly vibe anyway…***shrug***
@C(squared), welcome!!
Thanks for the welcome. I’m hella late but well my name rings true. Law school happened.
Anywho I’m not sure if its already on the list but how about staying away when I’m clearly wearing an engagement ring? Or if you are over 21 wearing a jersey and its NOT game day? Or while you are wearing skinny jeans that are tighter than mine. Like someone said above, its a judgment call. That is all for now.
I’ve never had problems about being approached, just don’t be a douchebag.
I just have issues about personal space. If dude gets to close to me, that turns me off.
I shouldn’t be able to see the pores in your face, that means you’re too close!
When I’m with my white boyfriend.
I generally don’t give my # to dudes just out on the street walking. Too many negative experiences from just weird, stalkerish dudes. If you holla at me with a “hey slim” it is 100% guaranteed I will not stop. I just don’t do it, period.
However, in situations where I can at least strike up convo, chances are greatly increased that I’ll give you my #. This would be at a club, and you’ve smartly approached me in a position where I’m not surrounded by my gfs, a house party, or through friends at a mutual friend’s party/event. Better yet, if I’m already familiar with your face through school/work, even better chances.
It’s really common sense shit. The literal hollering at some one just seems so desperate.
UH, how bout when she’s already visibly Pregnant, I dunno about ya’ll but I would think a womb full o’ baby, says Unavailable!
OK, I normally just read and don’t post. However, because I know everything about the movie “Silence of the Lambs”, I knew right away what you were talking about when you referenced Jame Gumb. I could not help but to fall out laughing to the point of tears (seriously). Most probably did not catch that, but I knew where it was from right away!!! Love it!!!!
9 months late this time! LOL
Do/Don’t approach a woman with her GROWN children present. Was at the bar of a restaurant sitting with my mother (who looked like she was in her late 30′s at the time) when dude slid over and tried to holla. I was embarrassed. She was flattered that he didn’t think she was old enough to have a daughter as old as I was.
Proceed with caution.