So the discussion about women having a thug phase got me to thinking about the fact that people tend to have types.
Correction. We have what we think are our types and the folks that we actually end up with. I’ve come to the conclusion that normally the folks that we think we want and who we tend to end up don’t generally coincide. Like I said, for a time Esther Baxter look-a-likes were my type, but I can honestly say that I’ve yet to date a woman like Esther Baxter.
For shame.
Somebody hand me a shoulder to cry on.
*Liz handing me a shoulder*
Thanks.
Anyway, a while back somebody pointed me to this email with this “article” about relationship radars. Actually its more a question and advice column :
Q: I’m very concerned about my daughter. She is very strong and successful in many areas of her life except one. She keeps picking guys that are just no good for her. She even knows she does it and just can’t seem to stop. I even took her to see the musical “Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys.” She thought it was funny, saw herself in it, and still can’t seem to change. Is she the only one like this? How can she stop what she is doing to herself?
I see lots and lots of women and men with this kind of pattern
There’s even a name for it, and
Think back to the last time you watched The Weather Channel or the local weather on the news. Remember how the radar was able to pick up the storms and lock onto them? Well, each of us has an internal radar that picks up and locks in on certain kinds of people.
I call this process our “relationship radar.” If we are lucky, and/or if we have worked at it, our radar picks out people who are potentially good for us, and things work out.
Unfortunately some folks have faulty relationship radar that predictably chooses people who will eventually cause them pain. Here’s what I mean: if your daughter were to go to a party with 100 guys and there were two of them that were her “type”, her faulty relationship radar would pick them out in about five minutes tops. She would even find the other good guys “boring” or just “too nice.”
How many of us know men and women who constantly pick the wrong types? Hell, how many of you are dating the very person you hoped you’d never date? Actually, many of us on here seem very self-aware and prone to not dealing with non-sense.
Good d*mn job.
Anyway, the concept of the relationship radar got me to thinking about my own. I definitely have had a type. If there was a crazy broad within 3 feet of me, I was attracted to her (assuming she was attractive, ugly attracted broads don’t really do it for me).
And when I say crazy, I mean the chick who swears she won’t get into Heaven without me by her side, which, if you think about it, would further her crazy since we all know I’ve got enough Hell points to ensure that I get to ride a G5 to Hell.
Crazy chicks of all type were running amok in Panama’s City. Word.Life.
At some point I seriously had to re-evaluate what the hell I was doing to attract the looney bin b*tches. I never did figure it out but I did turn up my own insanity that way my uberloon would repel the mediocre crazy broads and keep the chicks who wanted adventure around. I think it suited me well.
Besides I’m Surfboard P, there’s no room in m life for a chick who plays with fire. Literally (I dated one of those too).
So folks, what keeps popping up on your relationship radar – basically, is your sh*t broke? And if it isn’t a good thing what have you done to change that? Even better, does anybody have a radar that only finds GOOD QUALITY? Or are radars generally reserved for the worst case scenarios?
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
And by the way, I went back and revisited my Teena Marie collection. I won’t say she sucks (I apologize) but she does not sing better than Beyonce. And a hit song (on in her case songs) does not a good singer make. Word to Cassie. She’s white, her ability to do runs is limited. Some folks don’t care for all the histrionics and stuff and that’s fair…however, raw ability, Beyonce is blowing her the.f*ck.out. It was written and I have spoken.
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{ 355 comments… read them below or add one }
I tend to attract emotionally needy chicks. I’ll never forget when a female gym teacher yoked me up during my senior yr of high school like “dont play me with all that shyt. You prey on these girls. u just want to be needed so u can feel like the big man..” My picks weren’t intention based on those traits, but once she said it i began to see it.
P.S. – Crazy chicks always get play…mostly b/c their sex game tends to be crazy. Natural selection…sex is their environmental adaptation keeping their population stable
http://www.mrswagger.com
“P.S. – Crazy chicks always get play…mostly b/c their sex game tends to be crazy”
i’ve found that nutty chicks tend to lure you in with crazy sex in the beginning, just until they’re able to lull you to sleep and sneak their craziness in through the backdoor.
“just until they’re able to lull you to sleep and sneak their craziness in through the backdoor.”
There’s something about the backdoor part that reaaallly bothers me. I’m hoping you mean something other than what’s going through my head.lol.
“There’s something about the backdoor part that reaaallly bothers me. I’m hoping you mean something other than what’s going through my head.lol.”
lol, maybe you need your head checked
at least yall know what your type is/was. i still have yet to figure that part out.
there was only one crazy…not too crazy but just “it’s not normal to ONLY argue 3x a day” crazy. throw in a couple of “i’m so bitter and all women are out to get what i have [despite them not having sh!t].” mix that with a couple of “i just gave my life to the Lord and am celibate, don’t go out, and am in church 4x/week [not that there's anything wrong w/ that - just not what i'm into].”
it just all seems so random…but there’s probably a pattern there somewhere that i haven’t yet picked up on. *thinking*
“but there’s probably a pattern there somewhere that i haven’t yet picked up on. *thinking*”
you live in philly, lol. that speaks for itself
you’re probably right, lol.
I live in Philly now…and have met more than a few crazy chicks…unfortunately their sex game was mediocre at best. Lucky me.
LMAO!
i’ve always wondered how women feel when they constantly end up being a dude’s last girlfriend before he turns to God.
like if more than 2 of your boyfriends go to God after you…how does that affect you?
I dont think people have a type. I think that people get so caught up trying to find a type they miss out on the one they should be looking at. I dont think anyone should be wrapped up in a type. To put labels on people in such a way pigeonholes yourself. Youll never find what you are looking for.
Damn I’m early today. Two things:
1. Beyonce is a better everything than Teena Marie. At this point its like comparing Tom Brady to Jim McMahon. Best sports analogy ever.
2. I do have a type. I know this for a fact because we tested it in college and it did not fail. Dark skin, full lips, slim/med build, big(ger) booty, laughs a lot. We literally did social experiments for a whole semester and I was the only one who consistently passed for my “type”. So yeah, take that VSB.
“1. Beyonce is a better everything than Teena Marie. At this point its like comparing Tom Brady to Jim McMahon. Best sports analogy ever.”
i’d say brady and tommy maddox.
Beyonce is a better everything than Teena Marie.
i agree wholeheartedly.
i would be exactly your type, lmao
Holler! (c) Some Cornball
Don’t forget the “hidden” crazies (Normal at first,then crazy next)
The only really really crazy guy I had to deal with…Plotting to get me pregnant and trying to get a $100,000 life insurance policy on me.
…So um yeah, my radar might have been a little misguided at one point.
“Plotting to get me pregnant and trying to get a $100,000 life insurance policy on me”
Dayum!
“The only really really crazy guy I had to deal with…Plotting to get me pregnant and trying to get a $100,000 life insurance policy on me.”
Thats a WHOLE lotta crazy.
“The only really really crazy guy I had to deal with…Plotting to get me pregnant and trying to get a $100,000 life insurance policy on me.”
O wow. Definitely a crazy…
how EXACTLY does one actually tell you that he intends to take out an insurance policy on you? like how does that conversation come up?
Well…somehow he managed to fit that in right after the statement…”For a college graduation present, im going to make you the mother of my future kids/wife”….
Needless to say if someone has all four of the following qualities, you should run far far away…
1.From New York
2.Military
3.Iraq
4. MSU (Michigan State U.)
He would have lost me at points 2 and 3. Military men usually hear the Road Runner sound from me after dropping that info.
”For a college graduation present, im going to make you the mother of my future kids/wife”
my mouth just dropped open so far right now. what, a macy’s gift card wasn’t enough?
*adds to repertoire of hustles*
Since when does a dude purposely impregnate? Planned random seedage seems so off to me…then again, I guess that’s what makes him crazy.
Exactly.
funny thing is I had this exact conversation with my bestfriend today (who happens to be male)… he told me I am always going after the wrong guy… I asked him how??? The typical I dude I like is educated (college, sometimes with multiple degrees), considered the nice guy, and what other chicks would consider somewhat lame… And these are the mofos that I don’t progress anywhere with…
I give the nice guy a chance… I dont even look for the dude that every chica wants… Maybe I should switch to the other side and go for the dope boy, Jeezy type ni$$a who says shawty in every sentence….
so waitaminute, what did friendboy say? how you gonna leave me hangin’?
(full disclosure, that’s the LOCK point on my radar, too)
“so waitaminute, what did friendboy say? how you gonna leave me hangin’?”
i second this statement and sh*t
First of all… apologies to devessel and Champ! Didn’t mean to leave ya’ll hanging!!
Friendboy felt like the dudes I picked were emotionally unavailable- meaning usually they had just gotten out of a relationship (that probably went sour) or had mommy issues…. True they may have been the pick of the litter cause they weren’t gang-banging on the street corner and are typically the type of dudes that my Reverend father would adore, but they still have that key element of not being able to give themselves fully emotionally….
so you’re starting to think that educated “nice” guys are ALL emotionally unavailable?
Nope I dont think that… my friendboy said thats the trend with the “educated” guys that I meet….
One thing I dont do is stereotype and typecast….
You know better than me, P, what my relationship radar is. You get the up to the minute updates LOL.
It needs work, but I think I have improved over the years right? I’ve come a long way, huh? Please say yes. LOL.
“It needs work, but I think I have improved over the years right?”
***insert more people***
See, that’s what i asked P and not YOU. Hmph!!!
lol…ok.
“**insert more people**”
ur wit and sense of humor is unmatched
you have improved. the level of insanity is definitely way down compared to the Great Cab Escapades of 2006.
but much like everybody else, we all still got work to do.
ROFL!!! See? At least I don’t have any stalkers right now. That’s progress!
I thought that I didn’t have a type because they’re different physically, but most guys that I’ve dated in the past are from NYC (especially Harlem), grew up struggling and overcame a lot of obstacles to get where they are today, educated, smart, nice, but with a slight badboy side to them, and protective of me. I find guys who have a very similar background to me boring. I like guys who challenge me and are different, I find them more exciting…
“I find guys who have a very similar background to me boring. I like guys who challenge me and are different, I find them more exciting…”
do you find yourself boring?
Thanks for re-examining the Teena Marie issue, but I still feel like she can sing (as well as make jammin’ tunes). When it comes to ability, I concur, Beyonce has her beat, but you will get something out of a Teena Marie song that you won’t get out of a Beyonce song, and as Pastor Troy would say, “Vi-sa Ver-sa”.
On today’s topic, my radar went through its various phases: hoodrat phase, nerdy, average-looking chick phase, only-9-and-ups phase, professional woman phase, etc.. I’m not gonna say that any of these were neccessarily positive or negative, it’s just whom was attracted to me and whom I was attracted to at a time.
As of now, I don’t have a set type (but then again, I didn’t think I had one when I went through those particular phases either) as long as I’m attracted to her qualifying traits, it’s all good.
Over the past few years though, I have noticed an influx of older women gravitating towards me. Nothing’s wrong with cougars, but the things that we want out of the relationship may be different at times.
“Thanks for re-examining the Teena Marie issue, but I still feel like she can sing (as well as make jammin’ tunes). When it comes to ability, I concur, Beyonce has her beat, but you will get something out of a Teena Marie song that you won’t get out of a Beyonce song, and as Pastor Troy would say, “Vi-sa Ver-sa”.”
I totally agree. I think its totally possible to love different artists/singers/songwriters/performers/musicians for different reasons. I’m not always impressed with singers who can do crazy runs. Just like the day Neil Young starts singin “Old Man” like a Luther Vandross medley-I’ll just shoot myself. Why cant an artist just be. And not be like (fill in the random blank). not everybody needs to be doing vocal acrobatics.
“just sing the song like God put in your heart”-somebody’s grandma circa “not sure”.
“Why cant an artist just be. And not be like (fill in the random blank).”
I concur. There are very few original artists today. Everyone is copying everyone else..
“Why cant an artist just be. ”
i agree with this statement. however, somebody brought up the fact that i said beyonce could sing but teena marie sucked. therefore, i’m justified like JT in making the comparisons.
it’s self defense.
there’s a war going on outside no man is safe from…
“And by the way, I went back and revisited my Teena Marie collection. I won’t say she sucks (I apologize) but she does not sing better than Beyonce. And a hit song (on in her case songs) does not a good singer make.”
Ole fluke arse apology….lol.
DIES at the idea of Neil Young singing “Old Man” like Luther…AHAHAHAHHAHAH(2)
this is as close as I think it gets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjAXFce7sSA
“Over the past few years though, I have noticed an influx of older women gravitating towards me.”
lol! I have the opposite problem. I get hit on a lot by the younger guys and some are really aggressive.
Yes! *hand raised, jumping out of seat* Me too. I don’t know what it is. Maybe cause is some cases I still look pretty young to people but I was in this lounge listening to my boys do their thing and this CHILD came up to me spittin’ game! I tried to ignore him for a minute but he would not quit. Finally I had to turn to him, neck swerve, stank look and all and ask, “how old are you?!?” Another time some fool tried to hit on me and started by actually calling me ma’am….smh
I think a lot of people confuse their relationship radar with their sexual attraction radar. I learned before I got married that the guy I felt the instant chemistry with , the one who with the right amount of bass and swagger could put his arm around my waist, lean in real close his warm but fragrant breath tickling the hairs on the nape of my neck, lips not quite but almost touching my ear saying “f!ck wit ya boy” and causing me to giggle uncontrollably and not ‘accidentally” elbow the shyt out of him…that ninja I need to stay away from.. most women will not only leave with him but try to make him “the one’ despite knowing with every bone in your body that the s.e.x w ill be good, great even but a relationship is just asking for trouble…
“the one who with the right amount of bass and swagger could put his arm around my waist, lean in real close his warm but fragrant breath tickling the hairs on the nape of my neck, lips not quite but almost touching my ear saying “f!ck wit ya boy” ”
temporarily celibate people need not read this…now I need to take a moment for myself.
I read your warning too late Comeback Girl…
DAYUM it! *logs off*
“the one who with the right amount of bass and swagger could put his arm around my waist, lean in real close his warm but fragrant breath tickling the hairs on the nape of my neck, lips not quite but almost touching my ear saying “f!ck wit ya boy”
You should write screenplays for Showtime and Cinemax. Reading that made me unable to get up from my desk for a couple of minutes.
You should write screenplays for Showtime and Cinemax. Reading that made me unable to get up from my desk for a couple of minutes
Thanks??… all I need now is a rason to use the terms undulating hips and probing member….
i honestly think you have something. I was so drawn in…it could be that 3 months DOES NOT DO A BODY GOOD…or you give good sexu@al home keys and description.
I’ll go with the latetr. get er done.
“undulating hips and probing member…”
i’m mad you’re on that mills and boone tip…
…and by mad i mean i expect daily snippets along the lines of the description you wrote out.
“all I need now is a rason to use the terms undulating hips and probing member….”
It’s like a Zane novel…lmao
you know, i met Zane. she looked NOTHING like i thought she would.
i’ve come to realize that when unattractive people start talking the sexxy talk…it offends me. it feels like i’m being violated.
I agree, It was a suprise when I finally saw a picture of her.
Um, yeah. She looks like someone who works at the Post Office or one of those omniscient Receptionists (you know, the ones that secretly run the office cause they know everyone’s bidness)…
i dont she’s bad looking. She just needs a little joooojing. She’s 41 …was a housewife and prolly had a few too many doolies strewn around.
Co-sign. Felt like Plymouth rock had landed on me full throttle.
But then it actually made me feel better, seeing as how I find Zane to be the worst writer alive, and cannot get into her raggedy erotica because I am too busy making corrections in the book with a red pen. Jesus be a spell/grammar check.
“raggedy erotica” CTFU! I plan to use this term at least twice a week. Thanks, 8th Wonder!
Yeah…it’s pretty bad. I used the terms “author” and “novel” loosely.
I know she’s got a copy editor, is someone asleep on the job?
Black Silk or Brown Sugar anthologies are much better.
“Jesus be a spell/grammar check”
killing me I’m totally thinking of Fred Hammond’s Jesus be a fence all around me……
“I know she’s got a copy editor, is someone asleep on the job?”
RIGHT! Like damn, does the copy editor have an out of office mentality? ARE YOU HERE?!?!
If you are going to attempt to turn me on with words (which is fine, because it does work), can the words be spelled correctly? Can we get some sentance structure? Some sensuality, some intelligence, some…something?
“He put it in my butt, and I said oooh what what”…is not erotica, Zane.
When someone tells me they can read Zane and get turned on, I get going.
“and cannot get into her raggedy erotica”
LOL..I am dying
BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE..all around.
I have the same problem with Terry McMillan novels. I still dont understand why her books are so popular, especially when you can just watch the movie and skip the grammer atrocities.
And every story about about guzzling copious amounts of “you know”. Can I get a little reality? lmao.
Dammit, Miss t, I f*cks with you!
“Dammit, Miss t, I f*cks with you!”
*daps*
“He put it in my butt, and I said oooh what what”…
How could I miss this Samwell reference? ha!!!!
i thought i was the only on who was completely over it with these gheto ass books…
VSB: where everybody knows your name.
So it wasn’t all in my head then? Whew…I started thinking the problem was me when I started encountering all these books that went against everything I know to be standard english. But real talk, they are now what people talk about when they ask you which authors/books you like; as if these are hardbody..I hate the whole “urbanliterature” bs…
I met Zane too, a few years back. I was very surprised.
“He put it in my butt, and I said oooh what what”…
That made me laugh my gum out onto my keyboard. I finally broke down and read a Zane book because I didn’t want to be a hater with no background. I weep for my lost brain cells.
Ditto on Terri McMillan.
“He put it in my butt, and I said oooh what what”…is not erotica, Zane.
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER! I never got the appeal. I read one of her sh!tty books, “Afterburn”. She showed her lack of writing ability by killing the main character in the last ten pages of the book, unexpectedly. WHO DOES THAT?
The fact that you even made it to the last ten pages gets you a gold star, ST.
WORD TO YOUR MOTHER! I never got the appeal. I read one of her sh!tty books, “Afterburn”. She showed her lack of writing ability by killing the main character in the last ten pages of the book, unexpectedly. WHO DOES THAT
dammit!!!!! i was planning on reading that. now i can’t, since sister t spoiled it and sh*t.
damn you.
I have only read 1 Zane book, and it was 1 book TOO many. Anything named “Alpha Phi F*ckem” CANNOT be positive or even anything more than remedial pron. I wasted 3 or 4 hrs of my life w/ that book that I can NEVER get back.
” Anything named “Alpha Phi F*ckem” CANNOT be positive or even anything more than remedial pron. .”
*hangs head in shame*
You had me aremedial pron!!!! CTFU!!!
I read that too, on a bored Saturday at Barnes & Nobles on their couch, sipping my caramel macchiato.
lol
Anything named “Alpha Phi F*ckem”
UMM Luvvie.. why did you pick up that book and expect anything other than….what ya got? LMAO
Please no Zane comparisons..I would feel better if you compared my snippet to a harlequin romance novel from the 80′s with fabio on the cover…….
I feel that sister soldja and zane have ruined the landscape of african american literature. I blame them for the whole creation of the “urban fiction and urban erotica” genres……
“urban fiction and urban erotica” genres……”
This ish is craptacular.
All of a sudden my homegirls are reading these books, they’re like “I can’t put this down”.
I just give them the blank stare.
All of a sudden my homegirls are reading these books, they’re like “I can’t put this down”.
I just give them the blank stare.
You might need to re-evaluate your friendships.. I had to get rid of several who claimed ‘The Coldest Winter Ever” was their favorite book.
I feel that sister soldja and zane have ruined the landscape of african american literature.
YES! Killing the main charater off in the last 10 pages is Nothing compared to the author writing herself in to “save” the morality of the main character. Coldest Winter Ever is one of the worst books I have ever read. And it gets SO much unnecessary hype!
“I feel that sister soldja and zane have ruined the landscape of african american literature. I blame them for the whole creation of the “urban fiction and urban erotica” genres……”
We musn’t forget to give credit to Omar Tyree and Eric Jerome Dickey. Actually, it’s gotten so bad that Omar Tyree has retired from writing b/c he said the genre he inadvertently created has now come to represent a people in a terrible light.
Omar blogged bout his retirement here: http://playahata.com/hatablog/?p=3816#more-3816
“Coldest Winter Ever” was decent, at best.
I mean it wasn’t completely laughable and parts were entertaining, even if it was complete fantasy…lol
“All of a sudden my homegirls are reading these books, they’re like “I can’t put this down”.
I just give them the blank stare.”
As you should. There is nothing compelling or interesting in any of this so-called literature. Putting a pen to paper and leaving a mark does not make you a writer.
“As you should. There is nothing compelling or interesting in any of this so-called literature. Putting a pen to paper and leaving a mark does not make you a writer.”
So true! I’ve been wondering why I’ve had to scour the bookstores for something decent, and keep coming up blank. I’ve started to straddle over to non-fiction just to get my bookworm on. Autobiographies about my favorite people i.e. Billie Holiday (her life reads just like a good piece of fiction).
“YES! Killing the main charater off in the last 10 pages is Nothing compared to the author writing herself in to “save” the morality of the main character. Coldest Winter Ever is one of the worst books I have ever read. And it gets SO much unnecessary hype!”
the coldest winter ever is the literary version of “love and a bullet”…sh*t so bad its actually good
YES! Killing the main charater off in the last 10 pages is Nothing compared to the author writing herself in to “save” the morality of the main character. Coldest Winter Ever is one of the worst books I have ever read. And it gets SO much unnecessary hype!
Oh my GOD that is one of the major problems I have with the book. How you just gone right yourself in to the book like that…. FINALLY someone that feels my pain…
Yeah, I work part time @ B&N and we have to lock the urban books up in the back because people come in there stealing them. They are in such high demand, I think we make most of our money from those books. That chic, Terri Woods, is another one who people come in droves to buy. I try not to shake my head in disgust because at least they’re reading something, but I hate when they ask me, “girl, you think this book is good?” I wanna hit them in the face with “i know why the caged bird sings” but I’d probably get stabbed.
Yeah, I work part time @ B&N and we have to lock the urban books up in the back because people come in there stealing them.
AWW this is so sad…
I try not to shake my head in disgust because at least they’re reading something,
if the mess that they are reading only serves to promote the use of bad english, diction, spelling and grammar then I would rather they not read anything.
Besies the usual crazies, weirdos, thugs, I always seem to attract the “I’m different, I will show you what love is supposed to be , but in months I will turn into the the devil incarnate on dat a$$ EARLY!”-……..Read-my-lips-no-new-taxes- lookin’ boy.
David Ruffin- lookin’ boy?
lol…nice one.
“Read-my-lips-no-new-taxes- lookin’ boy.”
Hah!!!
“Read-my-lips-no-new-taxes- lookin’ boy.”
this made me choke on my waffle
I have a good relationship radar.. I just tended to ignore it. I have always dealt with guys that made great boyfriends..however for the most part I was to wrapped up in some foolish a$$ thug (high school)or limelight a$$ ninja (college) that I couldnt commit to them. I mean I would meet these guys in class, at work etc.. and I mean a lot of them were real cool, thugellects even, I was attracted to them, they were hard workers, had good times, did nice things for me, and were down for the clown if needed. I still talk to one or two on occasion and to this day I cant tell you why I couldnt commit. All I can say is that it was all obviously pre planned cause “I’s married now”… I mean even with my husband.. my radar was like he is cool but it took me a minute, for sure…
“I have a good relationship radar.. I just tended to ignore it.”
i find this to be true with alot of people (and by “alot of people” i mean “women”), where they’ll know whats good for em, but will downplay or ignore it.
ms. masochistic strikes again
Hey but I shook it off and finally listened.. dosent that count for anything?
“Hey but I shook it off and finally listened.. dosent that count for anything?”
it does. good job
“I have a good relationship radar.. I just tended to ignore it.”
i find this to be true with alot of people (and by “alot of people” i mean “women”), where they’ll know whats good for em, but will downplay or ignore it.
ms. masochistic strikes again
^Champ i have an excuse. I’m new to this and shit…
also I am not really sure why is there a debate about Tina Marie and Beyonce…. They are both good at what they do/did and each has a unique sound that you can recognize off the bat however neither should ever ever ever ever, ever be included in a conversation about GREAT singers…so why argue?
“also I am not really sure why is there a debate about Tina Marie and Beyonce…. neither should ever ever ever ever, ever be included in a conversation about GREAT singers…so why argue?”
Triple cosign on that. Hallelujah and a high five
The reason why the debate is ridiculous is because Beyonce is the defining female singer of the decade. This automatically makes her a legend and one of the greats.
60′s – Aretha Franklin
70′s – Diana Ross
80′s – Pattie Labelle
90′s – Whitney Houston
00′s – Beyonce
Beyonce is a great pop singer/entertainer, but she is not a legend.
So you disagree that she is the defining female singer of the decade? Because if not I have news for you homie, thats a legend.
LOL
Seriously. When people say this, I wonder what planet they are living on. She led the best-selling girl group of all time and is the best-selling Black female pop singer to emerge in the 2000′s. Who is more popular? Seriously!!
When people talk about the music of our lifetimes (the Black folks in their 20s right now), they will talk about Whitney, Mariah and YES–BEYONCE.
Its laughable that people argue this point. And i’ve seen that most of the people arguing are women. Which only further proves my long standing theory that sports helps you deal with real life situations. People who don’t watch sports (read: women) allow their hatred of the individual blind them to their achievements and talents.
Its laughable that people argue this point. And i’ve seen that most of the people arguing are women. “Which only further proves my long standing theory that sports helps you deal with real life situations. People who don’t watch sports (read: women) allow their hatred of the individual blind them to their achievements and talents.”
i agree. i also think that many of us tend to think that “pretty pop star” automatically equates to “no real talent”. these terms aren’t synonymous. you can be famous and talented, and you can be “underground” or “slept on” and still stink. i call this the cormega corollary.
LOL we should call them the Cormega all-stars with charter members Cormega, Sheek, Obie Trice, Kurupt, and Jaheim singing the hook.
….with Memphis Bleek and Cuban Link in the video
Pause…I used to have a crush on Cuban Link.
sigh
“Pause…I used to have a crush on Cuban Link.
sigh”
He was fine, until he got that big arse scar on his face..lmao
Let’s not forget Triple Seis. ha!
Triple Seis, OMG!! lol
Skinny bastid.
“People who don’t watch sports (read: women) allow their hatred of the individual blind them to their achievements and talents.”
I’ve watched and played sports my entire life…and I still dont think Beyonce is a legend. I think her management knows how to promote the hell out of her, but that has nothing to do with talent, and more to do with knowing how to create a successful brand. I know people at my church who can out sing Beyonce in a “Mary Had a Little Lamb” sing off. There is nothing supremely special about her abilities, unlike the other women you mentioned.
Your point is laughable and also judgmental. I’m actually a huge sports fan and have been all my life. I’m not hatin on anyone, but I don’t consider Beyonce a legend. Sorry, but some of her biggest hits are recycled and I wouldn’t put her in the same category as the greats. Popularity does not equal legend to me. Britney Spears was real popular in the 90s, so would she be considered a great too?
“People who don’t watch sports (read: women) allow their hatred of the individual blind them to their achievements and talents.”
My mother, father, brothers, ex-husband..matter of fact anyone who knows me knows that when I’m in front of the TV watching anything sports related they need to tek weh dem self and nuh linga before dem get a rass chop..
When people talk about the music of our lifetimes (the Black folks in their 20s right now), they will talk about Whitney, Mariah and YES–BEYONCE.
i completely agree with this statement. i’ve had this argument with people before too…Beyonce’s going down in history people. accept it.
i was telling my boy a little while ago, if she manages to release an actual “classic” album (read one that isnt full of songs like “suga mama” -which i like, or “bootylicious”) and gets with good songwriters…she will officially be the “it” girl for years to come.
same way folks have to talk about Usher. with Confessions, he changed the game…it’s like our generation’s Thriller.
and yeah, i mean that.
I’ve got to agree with the Usher comment. Confessions is a classic, if I’ve ever seen one. Sorry this last album flopped. But I still bought it…hoping it would be another Confessions.
Bey…I love her, no doubt. A legend? Maybe in another 10-15 years.
How is Usher a legend yet Beyonce isnt???
I have a better question. My beautiful black women, why do y’all hate Beyonce so much? You would think that a global icon that is a black American woman who sings about black love and woman topics would be revered by every sister in this country the same way y’all willing to come to blows over Lauren Hill.
Confessions was a classic, it’s actually never left my car since I got it. Real Talk.
There will never be another though, Here I Stand is an example of that. LOL
You know how hard it is to have an album where every cut is a banger? I’m talking about every one no skippage of any kind.
As for Beyonce’, I will not continue to argue a moot point.
Dorian says:
“My beautiful black women, why do y’all hate Beyonce so much?”
I’ve never said I hate Beyonce’ so I guess I can’t answer this question.
I am deeply saddened that you may be right.
I think Confessions is a terrible album and that most contemporary R&B is also terrible.
Confessions popularized the awful “sound” that has overtaken R&B.
Although, I think that B-Day is a Thriller type album, also. 95% of the middle class/upper middle class Black women I know between the ages of 18 and 33 own and love this album and smack people out the way when songs such as Get Me Bodied come on at clubs. Many of them attended the Beyonce Experience and owns a recording of the elaborate production on DVD.
It is the first popular R&B album released in years that I can listen to all the way through.
and I also want to point out that B-day is not that great of an album..It is a solid album but not a classic. she has a few joints on it but constant video radio play is what got it popping no one is going to be listening to freak um dress in 5 years but that dangerously in love CD? That joint was good. That joint where she sings… the first time I said no its like I never said yes? and of course crazy in love, speechless.. it was a much better album
Me and VEG were JUST talking about how “Confessions” was an album that will stand the test of time. Usher REALLY got it in w/ that one.
“That’s What Its Made For” is a BOMB song bout freakiness w/o being overly crass.
Actually I thought Mariah was the best selling pop singer of all times and I am sorry Destiny’s child can go down as the best selling female group of all times but Beyonce as a solo artist has 2 albums. I am not ready to crown her as a the best thing since sliced bread yet. Beyonce is a great entertainer and should be recognized as such but popularity does not a great singer make and if we are discussing great singers. Aretha, Patti, Whitney, etc we are not discussing popularity, but sheer singing talent, alone and again I apologize to those that disagree she is not one of the best vocalists of all times.
**all luthah style**
wwwwwwwhut U gone do about it
aaaaahahahahaa
Remind me to get you a bottle o crown
She is the best-selling Black female pop singer to emerge in the 2000s .
And you know doggone well we are not discussing “sheer singing talent” if Diana Ross is on the list. She wasn’t even the best singer in the Supremes.
P.S. B-Day > Dangerously in Love
Crazy in Love and Speechless are both classics and Dangerously in Love was a great DC remake. I also like Me, Myself & I. But Dangerously in Love is not a listen-through album. It is full of the terrible, Confessionsesque R&B filler that I cannot STAND. B-Day is upbeat and danceable. With few exceptions, the ballads are just better written and more mature than on her debut. For what has been criticized as rushed production, every track is unique. Most importantly, the album has a coherent theme.
I completely agree with you on all points. To me, there’s a difference between legend and most popular. A legend is someone whose music will influence generations to come. To me, Beyonce has not achieved that. I’m not counting her out, but at this point she has not reached that point. Her last album was okay but it’s not music that I see people looking back in 10-15 years like we do about Aretha, Whitney, and other greats.
“everybody knows that ya really a h*, so why you still tellin lies to me??”
I LOVED ME SOME CUBAN LINK. I still have a crush on Memphis Bleek…
***hangs head down***
Oh make no mistake, Mr. Making Easy Money Pimpin Hoes In Style can STILL get it.
Memphis Bleek was decent.
He was kinda like Solange to Beyonce.
I still got the album with “Is that Your Chick?” on it, the beats were crazy and the bass knocks nice in my car…lol
his name is MEMPHIS bleek and he is not from Memphis..but he might be able to get it.. he had a lot of swagger on that get ya mind right mami from the dynasty album
I could teach you how to roll, teach you bout fly shyt teach you how to keep your nose up outta my shyt
Mami you got issues, problems you need to iron out
I will holla but for now? you on time out….
bleek will fire roast u as a guest feature on ur song ur album but not so hot trying to carry an album solo. 2 tree albums and 100′s of songs later he’s still, according to jig “1 hit away” …and who can shine in the wake of hova. J gon see to it that bleek never wants for shi*t bet that.
Thank you Leila.
At the risk of sounding like a stan, I can think of NOBODY who comes close to bringing what Beyonce does to the table. I mean this entirely objectively.
She can both sing and dance very well. She is the closest female equivalent we have ever had to a Michael Jackson. I know this sounds outlandish, but when you think about it, it is true.
The closest proximities to Beyonce that I can think of are Tina Turner and Janet Jackson. Tina was also a pop/sex icon who was well-known for singing and dancing who enjoyed great crossover success. But, technically, I prefer Beyonce’s singing to Tina’s. Tina’s voice is more idiosyncratic and (thus) Rock than Rhythm & Blues. And nobody has ever pretended that Janet can really blow.
There has literally never been a Beyonce on the scene. She’s a first and a legend.
“And nobody has ever pretended that Janet can really blow. ”
Word to Big Bird!
Jen- I agree about Confessions! Isht was GARABGE, in my opinion. I enjoyed “Seduction” and the other $exy time song, but all that canned music and crap on those other songs….ugh!
I can respect the talents of Usher and Beyonce, but I can not forget that our people produced Marvin Gaye and Aretha Franklin. Usher and Beyonce make me drop down low and scoop the floor with it in the club, but they do not make me think or even feel. They will be legends, but that is because contemporary music is so WACK. Hel!, T-Pain has the most anticpated record of the year coming.
oh t-pain… didn’t his a$$ win a grammy? *smh* this is why erykah, jill, and all those other soulful motherfuggers who don’t sell records remain on rotation on my mp3 player.
Not only a grammy but a songwriter of the year award as well.
Sadness.
Buy U a Drank had some wonderful wordplay.
“Talk to me, I’ll talk back/
Lets talk money, I’ll talk that”
Brilliant!
actually, erykah badu sells records like crazy. all of her albums sell extremely well.
but i’ll take it a step further with this. the reason a lot of them cats don’t sell records is because the music ain’t all that good. i liked jill’s first album. i can live with the second, kinda. but her last joint was boring as.the.f*ck.
a lot of that music gets points for being non-negative. just b/c its neo-soul doesn’t make it good. it makes it neo-soul. i like kindred in spurts, but overall, their albums…not good. and some of those cats make the most vapid ass music ever. its only neo-soul in theory cuz a lot of it is short on the soul.
Whether you like him or not TPain has a knack for making poppy beats and songs. He is talented. He is also a dayum fool which is why some people get confused….
Wow, Panama.
I can listen to Jill’s latest joint all the way through, ad nasuem. And its the only one of her albums I can do that with.
You really thought it was boring?
“kindred”
They are good, but I too can only listen to them sporadically.
“just b/c its neo-soul doesn’t make it good”
PANAMA! YOU TRUTH-TELLER!!! YOU TELLER OF TRUTH!!!! Even Erykah put Neo-Soul out. Writing that its dead on her album covers; calling out current Neo-Soul artists by saying “one song I had is their whole style.”
I get mad when people act like Neo-Soul is too much better than the more popular R&B trash. It’s just as formulaic!! There’s just a different formula.
but i’ll take it a step further with this. the reason a lot of them cats don’t sell records is because the music ain’t all that good. i liked jill’s first album. i can live with the second, kinda. but her last joint was boring as.the.f*ck.
a lot of that music gets points for being non-negative. just b/c its neo-soul doesn’t make it good. it makes it neo-soul. i like kindred in spurts, but overall, their albums…not good. and some of those cats make the most vapid ass music ever. its only neo-soul in theory cuz a lot of it is short on the soul.
OH MY GAWD… You have looked into my soul and pulled out my very essence with this statement.. I almost need a moment. I have been saying this for YEARS!!!!!! THis also applies to hip hop……..
T-Pain is the “Ghost of Coon Present”. He is a caricature of all things sambo and foolish. I got beef w/ him, and my blog has a couple of posts that shakes my fists at him.
Knowing how to work a synthesizer is not talent. And yes he makes catchy songs, but I’ll be D*MNED to the River Styx if someone actually mentions him and legend in the same paragraph!!
**STARTS PLAYING ORGAN RUNS**
Jimmy go beat that bass drum and don’t stop till they get free
Preach it Luvvie
No he is not a legend but he does more than play a synthesizer just like puffy did more than say take that take that.. they have talent but it is overshadowed by their “persona’s”…
“The reason why the debate is ridiculous is because Beyonce is the defining female singer of the decade. This automatically makes her a legend and one of the greats.”
What?!?!?! Did you just put Bey and Aretha Franklin in the same category? Legend?
I dont even think the corner is punishment enough for saying such a thing.
“They are both good at what they do/did and each has a unique sound that you can recognize off the bat however neither should ever ever ever ever, ever be included in a conversation about GREAT singers…so why argue?”
i honestly think people’s disdain for beyonce or perhaps her overexposure makes people not accepting of the fact that her voice is phenomenal. i’m not saying that’s you, i don’t know if you hate her or not…but Beyonce can blow…and it’s very distinct…if she ever focused on doing songs that showcased her voice…and not just performance pieces (a la “dangerously in love”) she’d set the world on fire.
honestly think people’s disdain for beyonce or perhaps her overexposure makes people not accepting of the fact that her voice is phenomenal. i’m not saying that’s you, i don’t know if you hate her or not…but Beyonce can blow…and it’s very distinct…if she ever focused on doing songs that showcased her voice…and not just performance pieces (a la “dangerously in love”) she’d set the world on fire.
P- I like Beyonce I am a fan of Beyonce, I do infact think she can sing however I dont think she is a GREAT vocalist. She is however a Great entertainer
“honestly think people’s disdain for beyonce or perhaps her overexposure makes people not accepting of the fact that her voice is phenomenal.”
I agree, Shayd. NO ONE should be seen in public EVERY single day of the week, regardless if there’s no events. Homegirl will be spotted going to dinner, or shopping for tights. SAT DOWN! DAYUM!!
“but Beyonce can blow”
ok, now ya just done gone overboard P… i like beyonce and could (with the right number of tequila shots) perform all of her songs in a karaoke bar. but “beyonce can blow”? c’mon P you know that sound is studio manipulation. pack it up, you’ve officially lost your music snob card.
I can not even compare Bey to Tina Marie; I’m from H-town, so she reppin the south, but…aaaa no.
My radar works just fine-i just effing ignore it…its like eating Now or Laters when I had braces..I knew better. The do gooder in me says ” I can change him”, but when someone shows you who they are, that’s it.Radar warns you of what to come, how you handle it is the question…could it be that bad bleep was a needed life lesson in who not to -sleep with,introduce to your home girl-lend money to-let drive your car-borrow your mix tapes-add a line for…I mean I’m just saying
“Radar warns you of what to come, how you handle it is the question”
good point
**On the Teena Marie tip**
I dont like her..i never liked her..her voice sounds like a cross between nails on the chalkboard and someone keying your brand new ferrari.. makes ya cringe..and want to cry!
**On the relationship radar tip**
For awhile i used to attract homeless people..i dont know why..they like seek me out and ask for money n shii…dang do i look that gullible? lol probably so..
As for men..i tend to attract the intelligent, secure types..but deep down im typical and long for the bad boys..lol
Id be in heaven if i could find one who had a lil bit of both..;)
For awhile i used to attract homeless people..i dont know why..they like seek me out and ask for money n shii…dang do i look that gullible? lol probably so..
women who attract homeless men need a support group.
I tend to attract guys with HUGE pen!ses. No lie. I’ve never run across a tiny peen…well maybe one or two, but they dont count. The one thing that I hate, is the fact that most of them tend to be liars. So right now, I am on a man sabbatical: No Dates in 2008.
As I wander this earth without a man by my side, I am trying to figure out, why I end up with guys who lie their azzes off. Whats up with that? Is there something about me that screams that I am gullible? *shrug* I have until January 6, 2008, to figure it out.
My type are funny guys, who are outgoing (I’m shy so i need some balance), smart, and kind. I usually end up with guys who fit this description, give or take the outgoing part, BUT they all tend to be liars. *sigh* And hung like a horse. *double sigh*
I’ve never run across a tiny peen…well maybe one or two, but they dont count. The one thing that I hate, is the fact that most of them tend to be liars.
First off, we DO COUNT.
Secondly, we make in our shortcoming by doing what the Zulu Dcik (I just watched Jungle Fever last night) ninjas won’t do and that’s actually be honest because we want you to be prepared for when it’s time to drop trou.
Secondly, we make in our shortcoming by doing what the Zulu Dcik (I just watched Jungle Fever last night) ninjas won’t do and that’s actually be honest because we want you to be prepared for when it’s time to drop trou.
I dont know about you… I have never had a ninja “warn” me about objects being smaller than they appear……
Females ask me all the time “Do you have a big dcik” because I’m 6-3 with big feet. I always say no, because I don’t believe I do (that’s because I usually compare my stuff to them ninja’s on the smut flicks). I will say one thing I never got any complaints . . .If that means anything . .
“Females ask me all the time “Do you have a big dcik” because I’m 6-3 with big feet. I always say no, because I don’t believe I do”
Are you selling yourself short?
(pun fully intended)
I don’t think so. I guess I feel that way because I’m above average in almost everything else in life except that.
I gotcha.
Sorry, but the ones with tiny pen!ses lied as well. Since when does a tiny peen mean you won’t lie? lol
hmmmm suga is that a bad thing… I’m mean I like a little thickness to my meat!!!
I too have been blessed. Looking back at my jump offs and men I dated, I can only count one man who was small. And had he been able to work it, that wouldn’t have been an issue anyway.
It is a bad thing when they dickmatize me and then come out lying about every little thing from what they ate for lunch, to not being married with a baby on the way.
“I tend to attract guys with HUGE pen!ses. ”
i’m rounding up friends and coworkers to read your comment. this just woke me up from my carb-induced coma. thank you, this is hilarious.
we frequently hear it said, “A very distressing situation came
into my life, which could not have been the result of my
thought, as I certainly never entertained any thought which
could have such a result.” we fail to remember that like
attracts like in the mental world, and that the thought which we
entertain brings to us certain friendships, companionships of a
particular kind, and these in turn bring about conditions and
environment, which in turn are responsible for the conditions of
which we complain.
if our predominant mental attitude is one of power, courage,
kindliness and sympathy, we shall find that our environment will
reflect conditions in correspondence with these thoughts; if it
is weak, critical, envious and destructive, we shall find our
environment reflecting conditions corresponding to these
thoughts.
So…what kind of mental attitude produces an environment that reflects liars with huge pen!ses..or penii? I’m seriously wondering because I would like to do the complete opposite, but still keep the huge pen!ses in the picture.
It’s really very strange to me, since I’m completely honest and treat people how I would like to be treated. I would think that my actions would attract like minded folk, but…it aint working.
Any sound advice is appreciated.
“It’s really very strange to me, since I’m completely honest and treat people how I would like to be treated. I would think that my actions would attract like minded folk, but…it aint working.”
imho honesty doesn’t always have to be textbookishy…like when my best friend asks if she looks fat in a dress…I tell her yes. It could also mean where are you not being honest WITH yourself about things in your life, your perspective. What is it that you refuse to see.
for example: my desk last night was a complete and fyking MESS (and i was a little scatter brained yesterday). alot of people look at messy desks, closets, drawers, garages as an indication of thoughts and beliefs that need to be purged. (ex. of like attracting like).
What parts of your life are you not telling the truth to yourself.
“if our predominant mental attitude is one of power, courage,
kindliness and sympathy, we shall find that our environment will
reflect conditions in correspondence with these thoughts; if it
is weak, critical, envious and destructive, we shall find our
environment reflecting conditions corresponding to these
thoughts.”
this is gospel right here. I gotta go with GK, though it pains me so because he might have overheard this doing work release at the local buddhist temple. But thats alright too. jk lol.
Sort of like self-fulfilling prophesy, huh? An “I think therefore I will be” type of deal? I have to agree with that one.
My relationship radar is BROOOOOOOOOOOKED!
I’m attracted to those seemingly intellectual types (can’t be messing with no dumb dudes) who are nothing but sex fiends, who don’t want no commitment and describe this as (taking it slow…)
Clearly my ish is broken cause I attract either crazy white dudes or brothers who just want to tag it. I’m joining a nunnery.
Oh yeah…crazy white dudes, those are about in abundance! ITS NOT FAIR! wheres my Taye Diggs????
“I’m joining a nunnery”
I thought I was the only one who said this!!! ha!!
I also keep telling my BFF I’m going to get me about 23 cats…and I hate cats…lol
““I’m joining a nunnery””
are you SURE this is where you want to go??? Miss T.
**looking in my Elizabethan slang dictionary**
This is a running joke between my girls and I. They always say the convent would kick me out if I tried to join up.
I think they would too.
“who don’t want no commitment and describe this as (taking it slow…)”
This is a commonly used trick out there, ol’ jedi-mind-trick-lookin’ boys, I hate them….
But isn’t that in fact, taking it slow?
“But isn’t that in fact, taking it slow?”
lol…thats what i was thinking too. i thought i must have missed something
That’s exactly what I thought…
Sounds like the definition of taking it slow.
I am talking about the ones who say this without nary an intention of taking anything past cut-buddy status, the ones that say they want to take it slow but want to f*ck, conterintuitive.
Thats still taking it slow. I have news for you, the majority of men in relationships now pretty much only wanted to cut with their SO’s in the beginning.
now that i think about it, you are right, point taken…
This is true. I think this is a classic case of a man telling the female exactly what he wants and the female hearing something totally different because it’s not what she wants to hear
I think its a classic case of men who will say they want to take it slow, then try and put you on lockdown. They want all of the perks of being in a relationship but none of the responsibility. I thought that’s what she was describing above and that my friend is the jedi mind trick. If you are taking it slow fine but s when you realize you want her to only be with you and you are at her apartment everyday, sleeping over every day, drinking all the kool aid and eating all the hog maws, always asking her where she going and who she wit and trying to get her to change her plans to be with you but the minute she asks you where you going you answer.. hold up now.. we taking it slow…. you are officially with that shyt..
Let me attempt to tackle this…
I will concede that some of my brethren OD in some cases. I will first say that any man that willingly sleeps at a woman’s house more frequently than his own is not worth the pants he puts on. I don’t personally know one dude that doesn’t prefer his own house and bed over any other.
As for the other issues though, you have to concede that women are guilty of hearing what they want to hear. They continue to do it because sometimes it works for them. Sometimes you wear dude down and get your precious relationship title. But mostly if I want to just chill with you its because I don’t feel like you are girlfriend material. And you certainly won’t help your cause by continuously giving the kitty away to other dudes. Listen you’re a grown woman, you can lay with whomeever you want, but don’t act like I’m trying to lock you down when I say “hey I don’t think you should be screwing these other dudes”. I’m just letting you know that if you are screwing other dudes, thats all me and you are going to be doing, screwing.
And you certainly won’t help your cause by continuously giving the kitty away to other dudes. Listen you’re a grown woman, you can lay with whomeever you want, but don’t act like I’m trying to lock you down when I say “hey I don’t think you should be screwing these other dudes”. I’m just letting you know that if you are screwing other dudes, thats all me and you are going to be doing, screwing.
However you want to word it, it boils down to the same thing, when you get to the point that you say “hey I dont think you should be screwing these other dudes” then you are doing more than just kicking it. Shyt or get off the pot but please dont piss on my foot,tell me its raining and expect me to believe it. There are plenty of cases where women hear what they want to, I totally agree but in the instance you describe above ..uh uh.. thats tomfoolery, bamboozlement and a ninja trying to have his cake and eat it too…..
Preach.
I don’t understand why a man needs to tell a woman she’s screwing too many ninjas if he has indeed decided (by choosing to only screw) that he didnt want her for anything more than screwing anyway.
Sounds like something someone who’s catching feelings would say. Either that, or the ego just doesn’t want to know other ninjas are hi-ya-ing that a** too.
this is NOT taking it slow. 9 times out of 10 it’s the man wanting to ‘have his cake and eat it too’. i don’t understand ninjas that want a monogamous f*ck buddy. they wanna claim the p*ssy, but not the girl. don’t get it, never will.
you know what, i cant say my radar is broken…i can see those scrubs comin from a mile away (and yes, they are always at least a little crazy…goes along with my savior complex! lol) however, having good radar and then ignoring it, will pretty much land you in the same position as having bad radar….with the slight difference that in the end youre like, “why the sh*t did i let that happen?!?!”
i tend to attract, to put it bluntly, losers…im not attracted to them, but i often mess with them anyway, cuz i have nothing better to do. then predictably, they scrub it up in some loserly fashion. im not surprised. just pissed at myself for even getting involved….
at this point, im just not dating….its obvious that im giving off some douchebag pheromone and i really need to nip that in the bud! so, in the interest of not settling, im just gonna do me for a while…figure out what im doing, make ME happy for a change, so i can attract another happy and self-aware human being to me…
i suppose i am much better off than my friend mel…that girl makes me sad. she’s been up to her armpits in @ssclowns since i met her in 8th grade. and she has NO self awareness about it…and the thing is, its not just men. i dont know how she lucked out with me, but she cant pick a decent female friend to save her life either! im the only girl shes known for a good long time who has never (a) slept with one of her boyfriends, (b) stolen money from her or (c) stabbed her in the back in some other grimey fashion. all her boyfriends cheat. all of them are scumbags (there was even this one guy who wanted her to intentionally crash her car so they could collect the insurance money…we were in high school, he was 28. i told her i would kick her @ss if she let this moron end her up with jail time!)
for men and women like her, i weep….
“they scrub it up in some loserly fashion.”
“she’s been up to her armpits in @ssclowns since i met her in 8th grade”
i’m sorry, but the literal mental image of both of these statements made me laugh aloud for like 20 seconds straight
ooops! sorry, for requiring moderation! lmao…i just woke up!
so far I think gk put it best. You can’t really recieve in a person that which you aren’t.
You keep meeting the same types of people because you haven’t done the work. Relatioships cross our path for personal growth reasosn. And its your choice to get the lesson or not. But you can’t complain that they’re all the same …when you refuse to change.
Everytime I meet somebody who irks the SHYT out of me, I always go back to what is it about me that I first recognize it and, secondly, hate it about MYSELF.
i just find that once I started cleaning my stuff up, I was meeting better people.
“You keep meeting the same types of people because you haven’t done the work. Relatioships cross our path for personal growth reasosn. And its your choice to get the lesson or not. But you can’t complain that they’re all the same …when you refuse to change.”
good point
I find that I was attracted to crazy/broke/drama-prone dudes because at the time I wasn’t ready for something permanent, healthy and real.
I think we make these subconscious choices because we know deep down we aren’t ready or don’t want something else. Or we don’t know how to want something else.
“I think we make these subconscious choices because we know deep down we aren’t ready or don’t want something else. Or we don’t know how to want something else.”
***mt. ararat annual community day at mellon park***
*I’ma let you make it on the Beyonce. I never said she was better than Teena Marie. I still don’t think she can sing though…lol
It’s okay, you’re still my dawg.*
I seem to attract the emotionally needy and the azzhole. The azzholes aren’t that bad per se. I’m not the easiest person to get along with and the between the two of us, things are bound to stay interesting. I think I’ll keep them on the radar.
Now the emotionally needy, that ish is draining. I guess I like putting all my psychology education to work, for free, lmao. The original youngster popped up last night (big no-no!!) to let me know that he’s back on the market (broke up with his fiancee’). IDK exactly what I was supposed to do with this info, but I sat out on the stairs and chopped it up with him and at the end he tried to go in for a kiss, nah playboy. You’re a nut, and I can’t be involved with you like that. Well I didn’t quite say that, I just let him down easy.
‘You’re a nut, and I can’t be involved with you’
first t-shirt quote of the day
Aw dayum Champ.
Thanks.
*curtsies*
This was the topic of conversation with my best friend last night. Weird.
I consistanly and constantly attract guys who are emotionally unavaliable. Sometimes white collar but mostly blue collar guys who are overall good people just emotionally unable to go that extra mile. They stay around for years! Two of them have been around for 5 years a piece.
And you know what? Up until recently, I have been ok with that. The thought of full-fledged commitment has always made me short of breath and warm under the collar.
So basically my radar locked in on guys I knew would never force me into using titles and baring my soul and shyt.
“I consistanly and constantly attract guys who are emotionally unavaliable. Sometimes white collar but mostly blue collar guys who are overall good people just emotionally unable to go that extra mile. They stay around for years! Two of them have been around for 5 years a piece.”
how does a guy who’s been around for over 5 years rate as unavailable? just curious and sh*t
probably because he’s just that….AROUND. like an old family cat with diabetes.
I think I have a good radar. I go for the average guy with good guy qualities. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been bambozzeled by a few good guys turned a.holes. But hey i lived but i learned.
I really do believe that u attract people for a reason. So in order to fix it if its becoming a problem for you, u must evaluate self asap.
“I really do believe that u attract people for a reason. So in order to fix it if its becoming a problem for you, u must evaluate self asap.”
i’m thinking this is the moral of the day and sh*t
“I really do believe that u attract people for a reason. So in order to fix it if its becoming a problem for you, u must evaluate self asap.”
The more WE ALL know!
On the relationship tip…
I find that I either attract the little bit older,college educated guy, who is ready to settle down with the idea of 10.5 kids,white picket fense and all that jazz…
or
the little bit younger younger guy, who tries to be like jeezy(and the rest) or college educated. But they tend to be more clinging because of two reasons.
1. They think you have a stock pile of free money due to the fact that you came from a “certain” MI city
2. They are trying to settle down…
“On the relationship tip…
I find that I either attract the little bit older,college educated guy, who is ready to settle down with the idea of 10.5 kids,white picket fense and all that jazz…”
you must have birthing hips
I hate you.
u must have birthing hips
I HATE THIS PHRASE and All of its variations….
and people wonder why I have had to go through anger management twice………ninja’s and flies….
Between 1999 and 2008.5, I attracted Kappas. An occasional Que eased in, but I was a Kappa magnet. Kappa as in the frat with the look–polished, beige, etc. I’d meet a guy and not even know he was in a frat. Then somehow it would come up and I would guess Kappa and be right. As far as personality, they were all of the Mr. Perfect/That Guy type. The one who looks wonderful on paper and in person.
Between 1992 to 2005, I attracted men who had never been CRAZY before. But I brought out the ass-bat-shyt crazy in them. I realized being mercurial causes a glitch in THAT GUY’s matrix. I had to be more consistent in my behavior for them not to be sitting at my doorstep at 3 in the freaking morning.
Since 2007-ish I attract men who want to get married and abuse my ovaries/womb by forcing me to have them a team of sons. They don’t even know my last name and really don’t care because their goal is to change that shyt. Granted, these men are all pretty much over 32 and pissed because they aren’t married with a perfect family to bring to the company cookout! Men have biological clocks too!
“Between 1992 to 2005, I attracted men who had never been CRAZY before. But I brought out the ass-bat-shyt crazy in them”
if you change “1992 to 2005″ to “2000 to 2006″, this fits me to a tee
wait, Champ you attracted ass-bat-shyt crazy MEN? lol…i think you need to do more then change that date range…
I attract selfish, socially retarded men.
Men who are tall and attractive and intelligent and ostensibly charming and a good catch until I realize all the extra points they are getting for being tall, attractive, intelligent and BLACK at the same time.
Sadly, I stick with them, gradually realizing that, objectively, they have no social grace, no idea how to talk to people and no sense of other.
They are typically attracted to me because I can spar with them on must subjects but tend to become horrified and shy away when they start to believe I am actually MORE intelligent than they. This is never okay for them since they also tend to try to take on paternal roles in our relationships.
As is the case with men who are both selfish and paternal, their helping hands are only there when it is convenient for them or makes them feel good which, ironically enough, tends to be when their interferences are inconvenient to me. The relationships generally end when they perform inordinately egregious acts of selfishness.
Damn Jen! You layed it out!!!!! I have dated those dudes too.
“inordinately egregious”
i dare someone to say that five times fast
sounds like them diva dudes!
You ever had a girl contact your parents to ask how she can get back in your good graces? add that she has no rapport with said parents she just got their email from forwards.
My brother’s ex did this. Except she called my grandmother instead…lol
Isn’t there some unspoken rule that you don’t initiate contact with the family?
Or better yet don’t try and have the family intercede on your behalf…
You can call and e-mail me all you want but leave Nana out of it
wow…
She gets “A” for despiration and a “F – -” for common sence
I’m not feeling this whole “radar” thing at all. I think the concept stands in denial of the fact that we are all beings capable of discernible CHOICE.
I will speak for myself here (as it presumptuous to do otherwise) and say that I’ve CHOSEN to deal w/men who are developmental delayed (not as in “window lickin’ short bus rider, just “stuck”) and unwilling to grow. It usually doesn’t take me long to see them for what they are, but I CHOSE to stick around longer a lot longer than I need to, believing my own hype about being “magical” or having “super powers”. I and I’ve done this repeatedly, expecting something different EACH and EVERY DAMN TIME.
So, understanding that I am a thinking woman, able to make choices for myself and divinely charged with making choices for two other folks as well…who is actually the crazy one, ME or the men I was choosing?
Radar may have us pick them up, who makes us carry on in it?
“So, understanding that I am a thinking woman, able to make choices for myself and divinely charged with making choices for two other folks as well…who is actually the crazy one, ME or the men I was choosing?”
probably you, thats not your fault though
As much as I love her, I blame my Mother for that. She told me some not-so-nice things about men and relationships when I was a teenager. And I believed her. I spent most of my 20s trying to prove her theories wrong, only to land in the here and now having to deal w/the aftermath of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Hmph.
I’ve said it many times, but clearly it bears repeating: “Potential will KILL you”.
Thanks, Mgmt.
Mother always says “Potential only means you ain’t doin’ shyt right now, and that should never be enough for you…”.
“So, understanding that I am a thinking woman, able to make choices for myself and divinely charged with making choices for two other folks as well…who is actually the crazy one, ME or the men I was choosing?”
This is deep question, and worthy of more contemplation….
Someone famous said, “The definition of insanity is to do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results.” Just food for thought.
i’ve always attracted the “wifey”/”girl next door” type of women: educated, practical, super loyal, and somewhat clingy with a super high libido…basically the characters regina king and nia long play in every movie. i’ve also found that i have a knack for choosing these types of women, even when i’m just interested in, ummm, you know.
moral of the story: i was raised right
^^^Imagoodguyvertisement!^^^
^^^Imagoodguyvertisement!^^^
you know what though…even though i’m currently in “roster” mode, i still end up bagging relationship-ey chicks, which is like trying to put a hard peg with a rounded tip in a tight square hole.
Can’t call it man, maybe you need to just get into a relationship lol.
But in all seriousness though, how many do you need for a roster? For a single guy enjoying himself in the city I think 3 is decent. Then the relationship-ey chicks are invaluable. They cook, they clean, never smell like onion rings (shout out to Boosie). And they’re reliable, and for the most part usually have their ish together and can pay for a movie or two.
Its better than always attracting slides right?
Onion ring-smellage is immediate grounds for death…i mean, dismissal.
word up especially if she already knows I like leek rings. hm
“But in all seriousness though, how many do you need for a roster? For a single guy enjoying himself in the city I think 3 is decent. Then the relationship-ey chicks are invaluable. They cook, they clean, never smell like onion rings (shout out to Boosie). And they’re reliable, and for the most part usually have their ish together and can pay for a movie or two.
Its better than always attracting slides right?”
slides serve their purpose, because you dont feel guilty about doing, ummm, things to them. its easier to c*m on someones ear if theyve never celebrated fathers day
“slides serve their purpose, because you dont feel guilty about doing, ummm, things to them. its easier to c*m on someones ear if theyve never celebrated fathers day”
good testosterone-testicular save….
however, but and therefore…if you are attracting relationshipy women and commencing relationships with them….ummm….
***calling gk’s probation officer to see if he can come and comment***
however, but and therefore…if you are attracting relationshipy women and commencing relationships with them….ummm….’
please expound.
“i still end up bagging”
so you’re Austin Powers now?
I think “I was raised right” should be a t-shirt
I agree.
I’ve been tricked into relationshipS with these types myself. In my late teens/early 20′s I wasn’t looking for wifey, but I always ended up with the wifey type. And all I wanted to do was bone.
Or you think you find a chick that you can put in f-buddy status, but they use that to trap you into a relationship.
THE NERVE OF SOME WOMEN!!!
How do you get “tricked” and then “trapped” into a relationship?
another Friendboy calls these types the “Safe Routes”
i don’t know about anyone else, but i have a big thing about star signs – they don’t define who i date, but they do reveal some interesting character traits and patterns – and my lil water sign self always seems to attract fire signs (leos – big egos, sensitive as shyt) and air (aquarians – away with the motherfugging fairies) signs… where the f*ck are all the stable earth signs i should be picking up on my radar?
this is prolly gonna be half of my downfall but I will run a negro’s chart in a minute and do some numerology on dat azz.
water generally gets along with other water signs and earth (taurus, cappys, virgos). but then you need to look at place and time of birth, which also adds another element in it too.
and i agree about aquarian men.
And I thought I was the only one out there… Lol!
I used to attract a lot of Tauruses when I was young! Lord Jesus, it was a pain. I was very young, I am an Aries so you could see the problems…
I had great relationships with Leos (although there is a bit of competition going on… ) and Sagittarians (the stubborness kills me sometimes though)…
The earth signs are often too contriving for my taste.
I have yet to have a pattern for air signs and water ones.
(Ok, did I just out myself as a weirdo? But I promise I am a COOL weirdo…
)
“The earth signs are often too contriving for my taste.”
my feelings are hurt LOL jk (wait..im cool I have alot of air in my chart too)
Sweetie pie… I was talking about the men…
*did I redeem myself?*
***wipes tear bcuz of the water in my chart**
we cool.
You are not a weirdo. When I meet new people, I always get their sign and birth time and place (if I can pull it off)
There are some signs that I will not f*ck with in ANY way. We can’t be friends, nope, nothing. And as far as love goes, I’m a Sag girl and I only date other fire signs. (anything else is boring, and they can’t keep up)
Astrology is real.
aquarians got too many damn acquaintances. always flitting about, never staying still. yeah…faeries.
I’m a scorpio, where does that put me?
Sex Fiend for sure…
i resent that. not all scorpios are sex fiends, quit categorising.
***sneaks off to hide leather corset, handcuffs and multiple copies of the karma sutra***
You own a leather corset?
*Starts checking flights to Europe*
“I’m a scorpio, where does that put me?”
tied up on some woman’s canopy.
I don’t know what that means, so I’m a take it as disrespect.
im sorry …does leather offend you..
***logging off***
ya’ll are weirdos
…I know… and proudly so.
“ya’ll are weirdos”
sounds like a lot of earth and air. With tons of 4′s and 8′s in our life path, sir…work it out!!!
Oh snap puff. It only took one xtreme heartbreak that led me to look into this stuff. and now it’s too hard to look away. (curse my ocd!) I also started to look into Chinese astrology too. Cuz according to star signs we should have been gravy n cheese. And my most recent break up we should have been cherry dipped dq cone but alas I am alone. I say ‘hororscopes often lie nothin is fo sho nothin is fa certain’ cuz there are other things to concider like cultural differences n crazy factors all sorts of stuff.
yeah astrology isn’t the be all and end all most definitely, but i think that certain character traits that certain signs display are weirdly accurate… reading up on my sign explained a lot about the way i am (i’m a pretty much textbook scorpio) – the daily horoscope ish is pretty much garbage though.
oooh. sorry wuda i forgot yr an aquarius.
no offense taken. I can see where people may say that from the outside. I’d say we more like to inovate n keep it movin cuz nothings worse than looking @ a love that ain’t that no mo. I’d rather remember the best of you and if it is only but so fleeting so be it. Besides what I look like putting someone elses opinion of me over mine which has guided and helped me to become some one I am enthralled over. puuuhleese
i used to attract a lot of scorpios…oy vay. this phase is over (thank God). sorry Dorian, but some of y’all give scorps a bad, bad rep.
Some scorpios are from HELL and I repeat from HELL and not the nice warm one that VSBer’s own shares in .
Thankfully, my relationship radar works pretty well. I attract really decent people (or the folks that make me point and laugh). I’m usually the one that pulls out the crazy, and “she” shows up early and often.
The trick for me is figuring out when folks are “interested” and when they are just being nice. Most folks have to bop my upside my head to convince me that they aren’t hanging around out of niceness.
We all have our particular brands of crazy, we just gotta match up with folks with complementary crazy tendencies. Otherwise you’ll just drive each other crazier and that’s probably not a good thing.
We all have our particular brands of crazy, we just gotta match up with folks with complementary crazy tendencies. Otherwise you’ll just drive each other crazier and that’s probably not a good thing.
I totally concur.
Well before I had my epiphany, and got a grip on life, I used to always get the troubled dudes. They were always hella sexy, and funny, FULL of swag, cool to chill with, but also emotionally closed off and only available when they wanted to be. Two in particular pop into my mind now. One was a functioning alcoholic with issues because his father had passed, and the other was an eternal student with two baby mommas, two kids, and an extensive weed problem. They both cared about me, but not enough.
I wanted to save them. I wanted them to wake up one day and realize they were better now because I had made them want more for themselves.
Yeah, it never worked out that way.
Now I live by the saying “If someone shows you who they are, believe them”. I’m not the least bit interested in saving or changing anyone, just have your life together when you COME to me. Thanks.
Now I live by the saying “If someone shows you who they are, believe them”.
TRUTH.
Thank you, Maya Angelou, for that piece of wisdom. Changed my life.
“Two in particular pop into my mind now. One was a functioning alcoholic . . . and the other. . .weed problem. ”
These are not problems, you need more people!
Yo Eff, I like how you left out the OTHER characterisitics.
fool!
It’s a technique that women have been using since the beginning of time to their advantage called selective reasoning. On VSB it’s called “Woman Logic”
Watch out dere now…
At one point I was attracted to emotionally unavailable men…but I was also emotionally unavailable. Talking about passionate yet stressful pseudo-relationships. Once I realized (dealt with) my issue, I stopped attracting those dudes.
From the beginning of time, I always attract the most popular, attractive, funny or social “center of attention” type dudes. The athlete, the comedian, the charmer, the ladies man…I am 98% of the time never interested when I meet them. I don’t like arrogant, pretentious men so I tend to notice the low-key, body like L.L. dudes chillin. The “center of attention” guys usually come after me. Funny thing is these guys usually wear me down and we end up having pretty cool relationships…until their crazy comes out. Good times!
Some of you won’t like this but I really don’t like Teena Marie’s music…her voice irritates me. I will give her collection another listen but I’m not looking forward to it.
“I will give her collection another listen but I’m not looking forward to it”
lol…this made me laugh. its like telling someone “i know you cooked for me tonight, but i aint gonna enjoy that nasty sh*t”
I have been lucky enough to attract really decent guys. My major relationships have been with folks whom I wouldn’t mind dating again. I am friends with most of them actually.
There has been one constant though. I have started to take notice of late. I am always meeting men who are in some sort of transition: just moved to my city(quite often), getting ready to start a new venture, going back to school, thinking about moving away… It has been a constant.
It made me realize (cf. previous post on LDRs) that I usually think of myself as transient. I haven’t yet decided to settle in one place, one career, one life… So my radar must be attracted to those in that same situation…
Interesting…
…but, again?
*Please elaborate, I would like to pick your brain*
Warning!: this is going to get a little lengthy…
I’m one of those people who like to believe there is a deeper spirit or force for everything. It helps me cope I guess. I say this to mean that even when things look pretty cut and dry and logical, I’ll be willing to listen and believe that there is some deeper force behind it all. For example your post got me thinking –
You say that you are always meeting men in transition. The logical answer and reason for this is because you are probably meeting men between the ages of 22 – 30. I’m 24 and going to law school next year. Most of my peers who are in the same stations in life (college educated and/or ambitious) are also going back to school, or starting a new venture, or moving to away to pursue some dreams or even in the military. Its what 22-30 year old men do. So obviously a woman dating in that pool will notice that the men she’s dating are “in transition”. Thats the cut and dry way of looking at it.
Now there is the other way of looking at it, maybe you really do attract what you put out, on a spiritual level. Men who are not settled in their professional lives more often than not would rather not get settled in their love lives either. If anything we would rather find a woman who is also “in transition” and we’ll transition together and grow. So could it be that your energy or aura is that strong that you attract like-energy men? Is there something in the way you laugh that tells me that you are open to dropping everything and moving to LA with me while I try to get my writing thing off the ground? Is it the way you touch my shoulder that lets me know that you are cool with watching bootleg movies and eating sandwiches for x amount of years while I finish my residency? Is it the way you walk that says you’re ok with random wednesday night parties and monday night outings with me while I get adjusted to my new city?
I don’t know. Its an interesting topic.
Whoa… Very interesting breakdown.
But funny enough, the age range you gave is not the age range I am currently dating in (mine is more 28-35 or more)… But I still tend to meet those “types”. Most of them have been in a steady, settled life and at the moment I meet them, they are starting something new. It never fails (there are exceptions of course)
Let’s see starting Spring last year:
-There was the cute (younger) man who just moved next door to me. Turns out, he had just moved from Michigan and was starting to get settled in the H.
-There was the guy who was still getting around to knowing Houston since he moved from New Orleans. He also was transitionning in a new career by the same token.
- There was the military Honey living out of state who had just come back from Germany and was trying to settle somewhere… Only to be told to pick up and move again.
-There was the other military guy (bonkers) who after serving in the as a psychologist for many years wanted to now get into Med School and become a surgeon…
- I dated another one for 7-8 months. He had just moved to the States to do his MBA after a very successful banking career.
The list goes on and on… I know that the idea of living somewhere forever is a bit scary to me… So maybe, just maybe, I might emanate that vibe stronger than I thought…
(And why did the scenarios you described sound hella fantastic to me?)
Sheesh!Thanks VSB. Now I know for a fact that I have issues. It was so much fun thinking I had issues.
(and sorry for the long ass post)
I used to think I knew what my type was. I would go in search of a handsome pearl from an oyster, only to end up with a marble out of a dirty trash can. So I guess you can say my type is a$$hole!
Oh and I used to like 1980′s Teena Marie, but new Millenium Teena has me “Out on a limb!” Every time her shrill little voice would sing “mix it in my loving cup” or “I’m still loving you babayyyyyyyy” I would puke!
LOL
I heard this on the radio for the first time this weekend. I was like “TEENA! TEENA! Is that you, girl?? Did you just say “grill”? What done happened??”
I stopped fooling with Teena after If I were a bell…
Lady T stopped busin out on the funk with that joint
For at least four years, I kept attracting the types who immediately wanted to settle down and talk about our future together…after FOUR dates.
I was proposed to twice before I graduated from college. Both times, I was horrified cause I didn’t see it coming (I knew each of them less than a year, and didn’t feel the relationship was that intense). Now that I look back on it, I think it’s because people always want what they can’t have, and I was someone that they couldn’t quite figure out.
Now I attract drifters – people who are so busy living, that they don’t have time for a real relationship. This has proved ideal since I have so much going on too – until they suddenly become more available and want to kick it up a notch.
Maybe I have “Wifey” tattooed somewhere on my face and can’t see it. Either way, I wish it would stop, at least until I got to know the person better.
“For at least four years, I kept attracting the types who immediately wanted to settle down and talk about our future together…after FOUR dates.”
its probably the birthing hips.
I still hate you.
LMAO!!! Champ needs to be put on timeout!
I was proposed to twice before I graduated from college. Both times, I was horrified cause I didn’t see it coming (I knew each of them less than a year, and didn’t feel the relationship was that intense). Now that I look back on it, I think it’s because people always want what they can’t have, and I was someone that they couldn’t quite figure out.
With these types of situations, I think people are just so ingrained to believe they should get married after college that they are in a rush to make it happen. The same people that go to college, or get those advanced degrees are the ones who have listened to what society has told them should be their life plan: graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have kids, wait for the cycle to repeat.
I think thats why the divorce rates are so damn high, and why people who have quit the pattern have quarter-life crises etc.
Well, I have a best friend who has “great man” radar and I’ve been trying to enlist her to pick out men for me. She picked out only three for herself, the first one she was with for a long time he gave her a baby and they broke up but he’s a pediatrician now and those child support checks are PHAT, the second one was a good guy but just didn’t have enough spark, the third one is currently at work while she’s at home tending to his child she’s baking for him while she cleans his house and stares at the beautiful ring he put on her finger two years ago…*sigh*
Me, I know who the worst types of men are for me and I’ve done pretty well at cutting them off from the get go. I went out with this crazy attractive and “good on paper” dude who told me he didn’t want a relationship just wanted sex…i declined b/c i knew that after sex i would get attached and subsequently hurt. Go me! Problem is, I end up going out with the guys who aren’t my “type” and then fall for them and still get hurt (this has only happened twice). Maybe my radar is beyond repair.
your friends name wouldnt happen to be “carmen bryan” would it?
Ha!
uhhh…no! seeing as she has ONLY slept with the first dude (to whom she was engaged) and last man (to whom she is married) her whole life, she has three degrees, is a tax attorney and is only staying at home now b/c she’s can’t work at her stressful job at a big four where “busy season” is 11 months while carrying a child, she got sick…don’t try my girl like some ghetto a$$ helen of troy.
…but she is infatuated with Jay-Z…i can’t vouch for her on that one, lol
Geminis are evil. I know one good one. “What’s your sign?” has been added to my pre-qualification application. As for my radar, I’ve attracted a lot of crazies in the past. Never had my car keyed or a window shattered, but I’ve seen piercing eyes watching me from a window, endured 22 consecutive phone calls in a 5 minute span, had fake charges filed against me, and…well, need I say more? Each incident was a different woman by the way.
Since then, I’ve brought my radar to an electronics store to see what the effin deal is. Turns out it just needed a new sensor.
hey hey, not cool!
Gemini’s are the bee’s knees.
The “piercing eyes watching me from a window” part freaked me out…
Word. Life. Gems rock socks and knock rocks.
Geminis are often misunderstood… But with a great potential for craziness.
I mean I understand they have 2 sides, which can come across as craziness. The trick is how to make the good side the dominate side.lol.
I don’t actually dislike Gemini’s as people. I’m sure there are a bunch of Gemini’s in this forum. I just hear a lot of Gemini stories.
And believe me, you do not want to feel piercing eyes burning a whole through you like Cyclops. Made me re-evaluate my life.
all gemini stories are true. they’re crazy as hell (at least the ones i know…)
all gemini stories are true. they’re crazy as hell (at least the ones i know…)
exactly… all gemini’s should be forced to take medication for bi polar dis order…..
All of the guys I meet happen to be either gems of sags. Gems are NUTS and I say that with affection (1/3 of my immediate family are gems). I only know one Gem that doesnt have a split personality, my home girl from school, and we’re really close. The rest of em are bat**it.
I did that to someone before with the consecutive 22 calls in 5 minutes when I was like 19 or 20 yrs old……. like they were really gonna pick up the phone at time #23, lol….
You do realize that adding “What’s your sign?” to your pre-qualification application officially makes you an old head?
Being an old head isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it means more experience and more options depending on the type of dude you are. Better yet, I’ll just ask for Birthday so that “I can remember it going forward”. That’s better than asking if there is any reason I should proceed with caution.
Hopefully you aren’t a stupid old head.
I met a man last week, who easily could have been my father. He asked if I was a Saggitarius, I said, no I’m a Gemini.
I asked him his sign, for the sake of being polite.
His answer was “Brooklyn”.
I excused myself.
Umm, I’m in my 20′s.lol. I’m trying to understand why dude said Brooklyn. Not really seeing the punchline. He pretty much told you to walk away. That’s hilarious.
No no, I wasn’t saying that you’re a stupid old head, I’m just saying if you (as in the masses) are an old head, don’t be stupid.
As for dude, he was dead a** serious. It wasn’t a joke, which made me sad. And he actually followed me when I walked away. I ended up having to grab an accquaintance and introduce him as my man for Mr. Hello Brooklyn to get the clue.
You do realize that adding “What’s your sign?” to your pre-qualification application officially makes you an old head?
Makes me think of that song “float on” by the floaters… Aquarius.. and my name is ralph… I like a woman who can hold her own…LMAO
i’m a gemini and i’m as normal as they come!
Me too n shyt.
A normal Gemini is an oxymoron.
I have to say that I tend to attract “good quality”, sane, well to do, delightful men. It is a blessing to have such a functional radar. …Sure I’ve been physically attracted to some loser ass men at various times in my short life; but I never take them too seriously or allow myself to become too deeply involved with them, because I know what they’re about…I think that a huge part of choosing and or being chosen by a “good quality” mate/ potential significant other/ fuck buddy, or whatever you want to call them, has to do with what you transmit to begin with…for example if you act like a ho, you’ll get a man or woman who will treat you as such. If you flash your money and “bling” you’ll get a man or woman who is fiscally minded and only interested in what you can do for them financially. And so on and so forth…People over the age of oh let’s say 27 or so, that often complain about always picking the “wrong ones” or having bad taste in men/ women, are an unfortunate enigma to me… because I think that at that age they should have better emotional and social judgment skills…I hate to hear about a person a year or more into a relationship complaining that they didn’t know their man or woman is crazy as hell or lazy, cheap, dishonest, shady, insecure, evil, etc…There are ALWAYS clues to this type of stuff…It is important to not be so blinded by titties and ass or money and slick game that you miss them and then end up with bad credit, a little accident (child), emotional & or physical scars and a damn restraining order!…**sigh** but I’m no relationship guru…I’m just sayin’.
“People over the age of oh let’s say 27 or so, that often complain about always picking the “wrong ones” or having bad taste in men/ women, are an unfortunate enigma to me… because I think that at that age they should have better emotional and social judgment skills”
you’re right. theres an expiration date on always making these types of decisions, and its usually the date of your 26th birthday
There should be an expiration date but unfortunately I’ve got plenty peoples over 26 with effed up radar.
hows about we give em a duration date. Cuz some are late bloomers. n some are early boomers.
Champ,
I think they missed it.
Aquarian me and Cancer men?.. never ends well. They want to analyze everything you say no matter when you said it.
Cancer male: “Remember, last week, Tuesday, at 4:15pm when you said you liked my tie? What did you mean by that?”
Aquarian me (day dreaming about saving the world) You wear ties?
Plus Cancer males = momma’s boys. Just sayin’.
My radar is stuck on giant chocolate bald men with goatees and soft bellies. Chi McBride? Yeah.. anytime he’s ready. Artsy dreamers, computer geeky, cartoon watching manchild. Unfortunately my radar never came with that “Self Sufficient/ Stable Wage Earner” detector so…
I don’t know what is more exciting, reading the actual blog or the comments. LOL.
I have too much time on my hands. Back to work now.
thanks for stopping by, grasshopper
i always attract guys who need some kind of healing in their life… weird, i know… but i think it has to do with my super woman complex…
btw, i watched 90210 last night and it sucks big time
“i always attract guys who need some kind of healing in their life… weird, i know… but i think it has to do with my super woman complex…”
please expound
Champ, black women have a natural, (genetic maybe?) urge or condition that causes us to “baby” our men. Be they broke or ballin, immature or as mature as men can be, we as black women have this innate urge to protect grown black men. I think it dates way way back…. whne black men were physically beat up on by the world. In 2008 as a woman still have to fight myself to let my man be a man. I don’t think it a super woman complex……
You are spot on with your comment. It’s called ancestral memory. When my neighbor (whose a single mother) babies the shit out of her 4 year old son I want to scream from the highest mountaintop. But then I realize that black women just cannot help that shit.
It’s definitely not innate, and surely doesn’t apply to all or even most black women. Saying it’s innate = justifying it.
“…black women have a natural, (genetic maybe?) urge or condition that causes us to “baby” our men.”
I move that this be stricken from the record.
I used to attract married women…then after playing with fire for awhile I burned my eyebrows off and decided that no one was going to make me ugly just for some tail. i took the dang radar back to best buy and got an ugraded model with downloadable updating software and firewire.
Not firewire!
Ok I’m late to this discussion but I feel I owe it to yall to share another book I feel was the worst. “Push” by Sapphire. The book details the journey of Claireece Precious Jones (iknow) who at 16 has 2 children by her father. The book was a story of a girl who has been dealt the worst cards EVER and you feel her pain immensely. But 1, her parts are written in the worst grammar ever, obviously trying to show where the character is at…I can appreciate it now, but when you read a ver detailed passage of how a father rapes his dauhter and she talks about how she feels wrong but he still has her “poppin’. FCUK.
Next thing you know YOU’RE slidin down the shower wall in tears trying to wash it off.
btw I attract guys who think its their calling in life to turn me into a freak. why, i dont know.
ahh, i was multi-tasking, sorry for the typos.
OMG I found an excerpt yall. This aint even the 1/2!!!!!
“I go home. I’m so lonely there. I never notice before. I’m so busy getting beat, cooking, cleaning, pussy and asshole either hurting or popping. School I a joke black monster, Big Bertha, Blimp B54 where are you? ‘N the TV’s in my head always static on, flipping picture. So much pain, shame–I never feel the loneliness. It such a small thing compare to your daddy climb on you, your muver kick you, slave you, feel you up. But now since I been going to school I feel lonely. Now since I sit in circle I realize all my life, all my life I been outside of circle. Mama give me orders, Daddy porno talk me, school never did learn me. ”
Discuss.
OMG I found an excerpt yall. This aint even the 1/2!!!!!
“I go home. I’m so lonely there. I never notice before. I’m so busy getting beat, cooking, cleaning, pu**y and a**hole either hurting or popping. School I a joke black monster, Big Bertha, Blimp B54 where are you? ‘N the TV’s in my head always static on, flipping picture. So much pain, shame–I never feel the loneliness. It such a small thing compare to your daddy climb on you, your muver kick you, slave you, feel you up. But now since I been going to school I feel lonely. Now since I sit in circle I realize all my life, all my life I been outside of circle. Mama give me orders, Daddy porno talk me, school never did learn me. ”
Discuss.
i added the asterisk hoping it would pass the filter..
I don’t think I have a type but I do like a healthy ego on a man. And a guy who delivers a cocky first line always gets my attention:
“I want to give you my number, but not tonight.” – he ended up being my boyfriend for two years.
“I don’t want to brag, but I’m a bit of a prodigy.” – dated one year, then had another run at it for a few months a year later.
On a third date this guy said “You know we are half-way to falling in love” – resulted in intense dealing that still hasn’t run its course.
Maybe this says I like idiots. Dunno.
Cocky mofo’s get me every time.
“I want to give you my number, but not tonight.”
*Enters into mental roladex of pick up lines*
I used to mess w/ Bathsheebah the booger girl in kindergarten. N then there was Asha Davis she was an 8th grader I was in the 4th. she was the cutest lil black barbie doll in a Catholic school uni. (I jsut crushed on her though) okay I want off the couch now. I started out being splackavelli then moved on to not so requited love in college. n the latest is the crazy reminds me of that song lost n turned out.
I think that that is the thing w/ these relationships. I think that relationships are like mirrors for your personality traits. There’s no better sounding board than insistent nagging or wining and complaining. They are the embodiment of your chickens coming home to roost. Now grant it some people do bring their bags nests trailer homes w/ them but the reoccurring problems you have to own them and face you demons. Be the change you want to see in the world. Or be that which you wish would change in the world. Cuz Stockholm syndrome is real.
Come on Beyonce proximities her way to the top. W/ all the changing of the group members. Yeah she has some talent but it has to be truncated by just her singing talent you can’t add on she got a banging body or she’s got the dance dexterity of a 35 yr veteran skrippuh. & if she is it for the music world in 2000s it’s a sad day for female vocalists n amurikoh.
All this talk about Playing with Fire makes me miss my Stones. That song is in heavy rotation in my Itunes.
Anywhoo, I used to think I had a type too: well spoken, dark skin, pretty smile, nice body, and nice hands (I have a thing for strong masculine hands with neat fingernails, yes I know thats “quirky”). But since my first ‘bf’ had a barely intelligible southern accent and gold teeth, and my second was sorta chubby with light skin and a gap, Im gonna guess my physical ‘type’ is right out the window.
I have been much more consistant in terms of personality though. Iv’e always liked guys who are smart, well read, and can hold a thought provoking conversation. I like sweet guys who talk about their mothers with affection, and enjoy spending time with their families. The low key guy who doesnt need ALL the attention as long as he’s got mine.
I’m finally at a point in my life where I’m able to put together physical and personality, and pick the ideal all-around guy. Sort of like the decathalon for men. My future is bright…
“So folks, what keeps popping up on your relationship radar – basically, is your sh*t broke? And if it isn’t a good thing what have you done to change that? ”
1) Fat Girls who see me as a project.
- fatten him up
- work him out a bit
- cut off that fro? or is it locks? what are you doing with that mop? Gotta go, regardless.
2) Really Granola White Girls who really want a Jamaican Rastafari, but also need a guy with a job.
- she has a long back (aka noassatall)
- stringy hair
3) First Friday type chicks
- Always Greek
- 29+
- think of Jamaica as a place to vacation
- agree with Cosby @ some level
- Ooh, a black professional man but i want to make sure he’s the right one, so lemme hollatcha, but then put you through 999,000 hoops to jump through
4) Creoles and Mulattas trying to get back in the fold
- He must be mixed, then he’ll understand me
- Damn he’s not mixed, but at least our babies will come out pretty
- why’s he so racial?
5) Superglam non-white non-black chicks who need an arm piece/bank roll
- her parents are (pinay, latino, middle eastern, indian) generally hate black folks, but he’s okay, cause he’s a pro. (but please get rid of him quickly, thanks)
- her countrymen are always ice grilling
Who never hollas
1) Project Chicks – that n!#$@ soft! I need me a thuglectual.
2) Earths – “His Charkra ain’t right”
But all West Indian Men love women. (ask mi Pops, im hav at least baby mamas) Fat, Slim, Short, Tall, Dark, Light, et cetera.
WIA just needs one that can cut up a mango at least 4 ways.
pimp pimp 4 mango cuts!
I love this post man.
Post is hilarious.
So what do you prefer?
i def dont want a thug. gosh i wouldn’t know what to do with him. i attract mellow guys, nice guys, corporate guys and geeks. at least i can be myself with them. then again even supposed nice guys can turn into (argh)
I have fucked up radar. Yes, I admit.
…however my stories make one helluva blog…lol. (DSL)
Anyways, I’m trying to get to the bottom of it by forcing myself to ignore guys who don’t fit a certain criteria. I know I sound picky as hell, but I tend to end up with losers who are going nowhere with their lives (no really…if you’re not in school, not working, and living in your momma’s basement older than I am..me being past legal age of US alcohol consumption, then yea, you’re a loser.).
admitting is half the battle,lol
No love for the military guys huh? I can’t say I blame you, but since I am one, I’ll have to say that their are some that aren’t all bad, after all I’m blogging on vsb, and I am a vsb, that should say alot about me already, right?
I’m not really keen on what women I attract anymore, I’m kind of absent minded like that these days, she’d have to come right out and say something because I’m not really paying attention to the signs most of the time, so I’m guessing my radars in the repair shop.