link of the week: man up
recently dubbed the “sexiest woman on earth” (ha!) by jerkmag FMH, attractive snizzle megan fox recently explained in GQ why she feels as if she’s the perfect catch
But for now, it’s hard not to wish for a world where everyone in Hollywood talked like this no-bullshit Megan Fox. This one who is convinced that she’s secretly a man (“If my mom were to tell me that I’d been born with male and female genitalia and that she had to make a choice, I would believe her”). This one who’s not afraid to talk about her life at home, where she and Brian spend most of their time watching movies and playing Xbox together. She’s even up for just sitting there all day watching him play Gears of War.
“That’s the upside of dating a woman who’s almost a man,” she says. “She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!”
from “sex in the city’s” amanda to ciara’s “like a boy”, the idea of women approaching romance like a typical man has always been a relevant, if somewhat polarizing, topic. this idea itself explicitly states that there are distinct differences in the thought processes, dating, and mating patterns between each gender (which i believe) and also not so subtly implies that men do it better.
honestly, i don’t believe that any gender has a distinct advantage over the other in this regard, but i will say that its a bit humorous that women who openly state that they “act, think, and date like men” usually have just adopted the worst characteristics of the typical male. its like a young emcee saying that they’re trying to emulate nas…but choosing “nastradamus” as their blueprint instead of “illmatic”.
questions to ponder:
what exactly is “dating like a man”, how exactly would a woman go about doing this and, is purposely emulating the traits of another gender a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen?
thoughts, please
—the champ
488 comments
from “sex in the city’s” amanda
i think you mean samantha…lol
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Naturally Alise {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am}
Champ must have had some of that gotdamn messing with his brain…. smh
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Leila {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 am}
lol! I was trying to figure out who Amanda was.
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BigBuck {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:03 am}
Leave him alone, I give the man props for getting it wrong. I would have to ask some questions if the brother was really up on his Sex in the City character knowledge.
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Panama Jackson {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 am}
yeah, you know i went to see the movie with some of my homegirls and i still don’t know all the characters names. in fact…i only know the chick miranda’s name. i don’t even know sarah jessica parker’s name on the show.
and i’m really trying to figure it out right now…and i got nothing.
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am}
Carrie…lol
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Miss Patterson {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 am}
first, HEY BIG BUCK! we missed you!
second, but what’s Champ’s excuse for calling that magazine “FMH” instead of FHM…i thought you men liked those types of mags.
Champ, you’re slippin. Report to my journalism class immediately!
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 pm}
“i thought you men liked those types of mags.”
i dont think anyone actually buys those mags other than barbershops and college students.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:15 am}
What guy really takes stock in the names of ’sex and the city’ characters???? Like really, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to recite the characters’ names or they’d shoot, I’d be dead.
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Tay {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am}
They did something similar to one of the children on family guy. Each time he couldn’t remember all 4 names, they gave him electroshock therapy. lol
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am}
I don’t think I’d make it out alive either, Monk. I think I may have watch that show once. Meh…couldn’t relate.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:53 am}
It’s kinda like an evil Jeopardy question that Alex Trebec would ask a dude that just knew EVERYTHING. Because he spent more than 87% of his life remembering ‘important’ things, that’ll be the one thing that stomped him.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:11 am}
samantha, amanda, gonzaga…same thing
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8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am}
Only it isn’t.
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The Comeback Girl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:28 pm}
stuck in a melrose place past..we forgive you Champ
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:38 pm}
ummm…thanks. (i think)
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as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong. i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender. i know i can usually only go so far without getting attached to someone, IF that’s what i’m looking for as i’m more of a relationship girl but i have had a cut buddy here and there.
actually, i’ve been told i’m a guy’s girl because i love basketball, know music/(real) hip hop, mob movies, video games and the like. and i can get real rowdy and cuss like a sailor if need be. but i think i balance things well because i’m also very feminine, makeup, hair done, etc. and the walk is mean in a good pair of heels,of which i have many. so maybe the point should be trying to find a balance…
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:13 am}
“i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender”
lol…i specifically said “women” not “people” for a reason. this seems to be female-specific behavior
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Leila {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 am}
It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.
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Panama Jackson {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am}
“I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”
that’s probably b/c he’d be gay. or at least ubermetro and teetering on that line by wearing clear nail polish.
not that there’s anything wrong with t hat.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 am}
there is a whole lot wrong with that…the only nail polish my man ever needs to be wearing is the kind that accidentally spilled on him while I was doing my nails sitting in his lap
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Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am}
Amen! I can’t be walking around with no man fighting me for mirror space and bathroom time trying to be prettier than me.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm}
that’s why I cant fux with Kappa’s
Peyso {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm}
hahahahahahahahahaha
temps {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 pm}
“It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”
Thank you “Leila”…cause this is really one of those Women Only things aint nothing cool about men into foundation, facial skin care and booking appts for the spa..cant wait til this cross gender polanating thing is dead…all we need now is a chick to shoot up a school!
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 am}
lol. ok fine…”women.” but you weren’t as specific at the end and said “gender.” but you get my point.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 am}
Uuuh, yeah, there is a difference.
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8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am}
“as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong.”
This is so true.
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a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.
the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D - we do exist.
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ForReal {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:08 am}
“a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.”
That’s some true ish right there. Nothing quite as sad as someone making a vehement proclamation that is really just a question that everyone around them knows the real answer to.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:22 am}
My name is Monk…and I endorse this comment.
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am}
“the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel”
Tee-hee!!!
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:15 am}
good comment for a (i think) first timer. welcome and sh*t
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am}
having trouble keeping track? Champy, don’t you keep a roster of all the players?
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm}
i can’t help it. i get my rosters confused sometimes.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm}
are you saying that some VSBers are on another of your rosters?
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shay {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm}
shake hands with your partner
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hey. {October 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm}
“the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D - we do exist.”
Amen and Awoman.
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Who the heezy is Megan Fox? I mean, should I actually know?
And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man?? Seriously…I hate hearing crap like that. Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?
Ilk. Blech. Yuck.
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 am}
And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man??
lol. true.
she’s that chick in the transformers movie. i had NO idea who she was until then and have no idea what she’s done since.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:24 am}
i have a vague idea of who megan fox is…maybe you should google her
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:26 am}
Champ quotes her as hanging out w/her dude playing video games and watching movies most of the time.
I’ll pass on googling her. She seems like a bubblehead.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:30 am}
lol
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puff {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 am}
“Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?”
i love you! *lighting incense and turning ferns in north corner of bedroom counter clockwise 7 times while chanting in amharic*
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 am}
Puff totally gets it.
I think I’ll burn incense and chant along w/you, Puff. And toss up some glitter for good measure.
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blackberry molasses {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 am}
girl, just go’head and splash diva dust all over everything
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Raqi {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:30 am}
I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:33 am}
Isn’t it grand? And I’m not even a woman that’s always done up in heels and dressy dresses. But goodness gracies, I love being a girl.
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Raqi {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 am}
BEING A GIRLS RAWK!!!
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am}
to quote my 6 and 7 year old neices…Girls rule, boys drool
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm}
This is why I prefer the company of children. They say some of the best stuff.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm}
and most of the times they tellin the truth
genius khan {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm}
its the Raq!
“I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.”
my fantasy adultery team.
whispers to PBG…
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm}
uh oh.
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genius khan {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm}
fret not PBG, no need for uh oh’s.
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am}
Who the heezy is Megan Fox?
ctfu…ask a 2520 dude…he’ll know exactly who she is…lol
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am}
Yet more evidence as to why I will go on and skip knowing/caring about who this Fox chick is.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:17 am}
honestly, i had no idea who she was either, until she showed up on the cover of my new GQ.
the pic, ummm, served its purpose
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am}
*side eye* lol
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:52 am}
did you use lotion, vaseline, or nothing at all?
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8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am}
IH, why?
whyyyyyyy?
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm}
8th, I’m sorry did I say something bad?
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Deviant {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 am}
she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:25 am}
“she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.”
i’m just amazed that this comment got past moderation, lol
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am}
Wow!! Too Funny!!
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Deviant {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 am}
squirt aint a bad word. you gotta b creative with your profanity.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm}
“squirt aint a bad word”
definitely a t-shirt
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DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.
Worse than “dating like men” is “having sex like men.”
Know why men can date and have sex like men? Because they lack cervices and uteri. NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.
The truth hurts.
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puff {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 am}
“You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”
cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold blooded
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southernabelle {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 am}
dammmn Jen.. you said that and ish…ditto
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Luvvie {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am}
That is one DANK and MOLDY blanket right thurr!
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 am}
you and your blankets! lol…luvvie, you a mess.
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Naturally Alise {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 am}
tee hee hee… that blanket gets me everytime…
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aja {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 am}
Dayum..thanks for keeping it real.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:28 am}
“NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.
The truth hurts.”
I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 am}
I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!
Me 2…Jen laid it down…lol
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 am}
Indeed.
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 am}
i’m not big on random sex or dating like a man as i said earlier but…just to play devil’s advocate since this comment is aimed at women…isn’t the man who orginally does these things a slut as well?
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am}
According to society’s standards, Not.So.Much.
Privilege is a muthafugga.
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Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:54 am}
Sure. But, given the absence of cervices and uteri, does it matter for HIM the way it matters for HER? Think about babies, fertility impairment, risk of serious disease (cancer and HIV, paritcularly), emotional damage and even the least of these, social stigma.
Hell no. Hence the high fiving, butt-slapping, dap-giving, cabbage-patching or whatever it is that men do to congratulate one another on being loose. It’s common.
To contrast, if your girlfriends encourage you to be loose, they don’t give a d@mn about you or your health, are probably talking about your hot @$$ behind your back and you need to find new friends.
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am}
i guess it’s just one of those things that annoy me even though i don’t do it.i know its common but that doesn’t make it right and its one of those things like every other gender bias. it will never end as long as people just accept it and gloss over it like, oh he’s a man so its ok. all their random banging can come back to haunt us as well. even the good girls.
it might not matter for him the way it does for her as you say, BUT IT SHOULD. and to me, you are still a ho. hoes don’t know gender. and neither do diseases. they may not have the risk of cervical cancer or have a uterus but they are at risk as well. i’m not giving you a pass just because you are a man.
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm}
Guys don’t get a pass Southern Girl, but because of basic physiology, women tend to be a greater risk for diseases and damages to our “parts”. The whole s3x/reproduction thing is just a bigger risk to US overall. That’s not gender bias. That’s biology and nature.
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm}
I know that but I still don’t think it excuses men from their behavior. When I talk about gender bias I mean the way said behavior is perceived and accepted. And men do get a pass on that the majority of the time while women get branded as sluts.
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm}
So Southern Girl (I hear Frankie Beverly and Maze every time I type this…lol), what kind of things would you say to a teenage girl to attempt to help her get her mind right in this area? Knowing this society to be exactly what it is, what would be sound advice?
And this is NO B.S. for me either, I really want to know. I have a girl-child at “that age” and so far I’ve been emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices for herself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm}
Lord, please don’t bring up Maze…lol. I just can’t escape that ish…but on a serious note…
I really believe that emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices is really all you can do. Don’t underestimate that. Girls make better choices when they feel good about themselves. You can’t do it enough. I thank God for the confidence and self-esteem my mama instilled in me. I may have my moments but its taken me through so many hard times. Because at the core, I can always come back to that. And pray.
My mother was always very honest with me (she had me when she was 19) and I just remember being that single mama kid and I know what that’s like. So on top of what my mama instilled in me, I just remember what that struggle can be like.
I was always saddened by some of my female friends and how caught up they got in other girls’ opinions, peer pressure, etc. Just make sure she really knows and feels she can talk to you. She might not always do it, but make sure she knows she can. Don’t yell or judge her when she does come to you. Talk to her like she’s a person. Answer her questions honestly. I’ve seen it backfire. Use things you see in public or tv (young girls with kids, inappropriate behavior, etc) to start a conversation. My mama would do that or just start a talk with me about whatever and ask how I would handle the situation. Let her know what struggles you went through. And that the choices she makes today can impact her life forever. Let her see the impact of bad decisions.
Don’t shy away from the realities of sex, drugs, peer pressure, etc. Tell her that unfortunately she will be judged by a different standard sexually, and while that may (righfully) give her more pause when determining her actions, everyone, both male and female should be cautious in the decisions they make. Girls especially as some men will unfortunately try to take advantage of her. Because while men may get the glory while women get reputations, it all comes back around in the end and that same man may later be cursing the choices he made. Tell her its ok to stand up for herself and make choices based on how she feels, not what the people around her want. And please tell her that her real friends or the people that care about her will stand by her.
I’m sure you’re probably already doing these things but I really believe just talking honestly to your children can help. Sorry this was long.
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm}
I am doing all these things! You’ve described my Mommy-style perfectly…I feel validated n’ shyt.
Pish-posh @ it being a long reply. It was effective.
Seriously, thank you, because sometimes in this whole “parenting” thing, I just need to hear somebody say I’m doing it right. You have made my entire week.
*sprinkles glitter*
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:52 pm}
You are seriously welcome. Glad I could help–that made ME feel good. Sometimes moms don’t get the credit they deserve and I know its hard. I am so grateful to my mom for helping me become the woman I am today. *hugs*
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 am}
“You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”
lol…for whatever reason, this seems like something ron burgandy would have said in “anchorman”
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The Comeback Girl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 pm}
“The truth hurts”
Yes it does. That’s a heavy price to pay though. Isn’t it something like 8 out of 10 women who will contract HPV (the cause of CC) in their lifetime. So i guess the theory is the slu#ts won’t be able to ward off the more cancerous strains.
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when i think of the idea of dating like a man…it just says to me, dating just for the purpose of dating. not pinning all your hopes and dreams to some one you just met. i think a lot of times women go into things with far too many expectations and then end up severely disappointed.
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MsSula {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am}
I was thinking along those lines too…
Has anybody ever thought that to some women that behavior just come naturally? Rather than trying to “emulate” somebody else, it’s what feels natural for them to do.
People are different. I hate when things are generalized based on gender. I have 3 sisters and if it told me anything, it’s that there is no such thing as “common behavior among women”… especially when it comes to dating.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 am}
MsSula: “there is no such thing as “common behavior among women”… especially when it comes to dating.”
Although people are different (as you stated) and that’s what makes us us, I think the above statement has many flaws in it. Personal experience and documented proof in over a hundred VSB posts suggest otherwise.
More people, please.
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MsSula {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm}
Then again, the VSB sample is a pretty narrow one… Not one that can be “respectfully” extended… No?
And I have 3 more people waiting in the wings for ya.
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Naturally Alise {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:37 am}
I think that is called dating sensibly,and men nor women have that one pinned down.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 am}
i agree…its all about perception. and some women perceive that men know the deal and are doing it “right”….i say, call it whatever you want, just dont date like an idiot.
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 am}
“dont date like an idiot.”
tee shirt???
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 am}
Yes!
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am}
I concur. You shouldn’t do ANYTHING like an idiot though…unless you are one, then of course the ‘idiot’ default system is instilled in you and there’s probably a slight chance of hope…if any.
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eysqueen {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:07 am}
and following this logic, which i agree with, we are actually giving guys a compliment. IF dating like a man means dating for the sake of dating and not getting super attached and clingy really early AND a woman says she dates like i man, i suggest that the fellas TAKE THE DANG COMPLIMENT. and keep it moving.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:22 am}
“dating just for the purpose of dating”
actually, we talked about this a few months ago, but no man dates just for the purpose of dating (ie: “without expectations”)
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K. {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am}
For women, purpose = relationship. If you’re dating for any other reason than that then you’re dating w/o a purpose.
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Deviant {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am}
all women do not subscribe to this logic. the purpose doesnt always equal relationship. Sometimes she just migth want her oil changed.
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K. {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:18 am}
“all women do not subscribe to this logic.”
um, duh.
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 am}
Or free meal, drinks, recreation. Chick privilege.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm}
or brakes fixed, car detailed, gutters cleaned, fence mended…. um can someone fix my brakes please, have my car detailed, clean my gutters, and mend my fence?
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Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:07 am}
For men, is sex a possible “expectation” that comes with dating?
Let’s be honest, here; sometimes, the children do not know.
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speaking from experience, i think a big part of trying to date “like a man” comes from an insecurity that you’re more committed (or sprung) than he is, and that you’ll be less in control than he is. this leads to not answering his calls, acting like you’re dating other guys (or actually dating other guys), and especially not letting your guard down around him or being vulnerable around him (for example, not saying i love you until he does). i’ll admit a lot of these assumptions spring from stereotypes, but i’ve foolishly done these things to avoid getting hurt and ending up jeopardising a relationship before it even really got started.
i also think that either separating sex from emotion - or acting like you can - is a big part of this (shout out to amy crackhouse). if i f*ck with “no strings attached” or act like that’s what i’m doing, which is something i think a lot of people believe men do, then i feel like i’m more in control, even though in actual fact i want to be held and have my hair stroked, maybe make a ni99a a sandwich, not bounce out 2 minutes later to get asked by the security guard in my building “sooooooooo… how was that food you just got?”
i need a new jumpoff.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am}
lmao! i so saw that starting to get personal, puffster…security guard need to mind his!
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Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 am}
“this leads to…acting like you’re dating other guys (or actually dating other guys)…and ending up jeopardising a relationship before it even really got started.”
TRUTH.
I did this when I first started dating my ex, when I was seventeen. Huge mistake. He was sitting his loyal @$$ at home while I was making up all these exploits that I was too old fashioned to actually undertake. Me, being a childish imbecile, thought I had to keep up with him and at least try to follow up on his SORDID past when, in reality, he was ready to settle down.
I paid for that mess for the first year of our relationship. I was in love with him almost from jump (again, I was seventeen), but it took him a while to separate my feelings from the games, lies and exaggeration.
Not worth it.
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 am}
“when, in reality, he was ready to settle down.”
how old was he, if you don’t mind me asking?
[Reply]
Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 am}
21. And, of course, I am referring to the early twenties “settling down,” which is not the mid-twenties - early thirties “settling down.”
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am}
early twenties and settling down is about as stark as an oxymoron as i can think of, lol. thats like saying corporate thug or celibate hispanic
[Reply]
Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 am}
celibate Hispanic = very UGLY.
I disagree. Plenty of men are in monogamous relationships by their early twenties.
Hell, that’s the prototypical standard for the vast majority of my friends who were married by their mid-twenties. Meet a nice girl in undergrad, lock her down by graduation, pop the question during grad school, marry immediately before or after your extra letters are issued.
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 am}
hmmm…see, when i’m thinking “early 20’s,”, i’m actually thinking 19-21 (i know it doesn’t make sense.) i guess extending my definition of early twenties would lower the oxymoron factor
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am}
I agree…although I like U.S.D.A.’s “Corporate Thuggin’” track.
Very energetic and get the day started right.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 pm}
“celibate hispanic”
HEY! I resent that
not really it was actually funny
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Miss Patterson {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm}
celibate hi….what?!! grounds for dismissal.
again your f*cking fired Champ.
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 am}
Awww….
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:26 am}
“i need a new jumpoff.”
t-shirt? i’m gonna call it before one of the fellas…
[Reply]
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:30 am}
i’ll second that emotion…
[Reply]
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 am}
“i need a new jumpoff.”
t-shirt? i’m gonna call it before one of the fellas…
Women wearing this shirt will get mobbed…LOL
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:54 am}
I would wear it to my current Jumpoff’s house….
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am}
lmao!
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:31 am}
Is that a turn on though? I’d prefer trench coat (nothing underneath) and heels.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm}
whats the address?
I have some candy apple red stilettos
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm}
how many people have you e-boned this week?
8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm}
*shots fired*
Luvvie {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm}
DAMMMNN!! I think Champ is tryna call u an eSLUT
*Whispers and instigates to IH* If I were you I wouldnt take that from him!
blackberry molasses {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm}
hey now, e-boning is safer sex
Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm}
@ champ, did you want me to include you in that number?
No shame in this direction, e boning is the new celibacy
Miss Patterson {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm}
“e boning is the new celibacy”
i second that. e boning is for the real playas…lol
Shay-d-lady {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 am}
I totally agree Puff…
I think it is a way for women to protect themselves. In this day and age of disastrous relationships;. most women have witnessed a horrible relationship up close and personal. I know in my case, after watching a woman I know and love being repeatedly dogged both mentally and emotionally, cheated on etcI have always felt the man was wrong but I somehow always thought the woman was weak and had given her power to the man and although I hated the man I wanted to hold that power. Consequently in most of my relationships I programmed my self to think and act this way which is why I would get so angry and lash out when I got sprung/fell in love and was let down. I realize now that I was trying to not only have the power but have the power over that same type of man that I hated yet envied. This type of thing is terrible. Its one of the most trying part of being in a relationship now because it is hard for me to let go and be dependant on my husband. I still to this day feel uncomfortable after a huge display of feminine emotion. When I have had a bad day at work, or my family has really been on me etc etc its still hard to turn to him, he has always been there and never once has he done anything to make me think he wouldn’t be but all those years of being “hardcore” and programming myself against emotion has been detrimental to our relationship on several occasions.
[Reply]
em {October 2nd, 2008 at 7:47 am}
I agree that it’s a way of protecting oneself. For myself I have been told by my female and male friends that I can be aloof, indifferent; seemingly like a man…
As far as dating like a man and doing manly stuff.., I don’t do it: I don’t play video games, I don’t watch a lot of sports or whatever the heck men do.
There are times while dating someone I become hyperaware of feeling caught up, and it manifests itself into some anxiety (can’t breathe, feel trapped, panicked… all that). Once those feelings surface in the relationship, I usually just check out. I was once engaged to a man. The relationship was great, easy until it got to that level of seriousness. I panicked. I cried. I couldn’t get out of bed. I thought I was dying. I ended the relationship because I was going crazy. I probably really need to seek help regarding this.
I just know that when I am emotionally detached I feel safe. Oddly, I do like the companionship, like having someone there. Unfortunately, I know I “thrive” in relationships without substance. I seek the emotionally unavailable/geographically undesirable because I know there will very little demanded of me. I wonder why I bother…it’s like some internal struggle…I want the warmth, the compassion and yet I fear it.
*plays Fiona Apple’s “Criminal”*
[Reply]
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:08 am}
I can totally relate to what Em and The Shay-d-lady have stated here.
I know I have worked hard at emotional detachment. I have pushed my twin babies, “Fear & Control” around in a double stroller for years. Scared to let go and simply FEEL because it doesn’t always feel good to be in a relationship (even a good one). So I try to control it all, especially my emotions, thus my perceived vulnerability.
The real problem w/emotional detachment is eventually there will be a love, a time, a person who is TOTALLY deserving of all you have to offer and because you have worked so hard @ detachment and being emotionally unavailable, you will have lost the ability to reconnect. That is what made me seek out help learning to embrace and deal w/my emotions in a healthy manner. I was more afraid of NOT being able to love when I needed to than I was of being hurt.
I’m not a therapist, but dangit, I have a VERY solid working relationship with one.
[Reply]
Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 am}
Oh, wow. It sounds like the idea of commitment pushed you toward depression and panic attacks. The emotional detachment you are talking about sounds like it could be a form of dissociation, which is literally a post-traumatic byproduct.
You DEFINITELY should get some therapy. I am in therapy, and so are both of my closest friends (one, per my suggestion). My mom is a therapist, so I have grown up believing in the value of it and reading a lot of books about the human psyche. You obviously have a lot of trust issues, and I am sure they come from a valid place, but if you don’t sort things out, they will eventually impede your happiness.
[Reply]
temps {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm}
“I want the warmth, the compassion and yet I fear it.”
Catcher and The Rye anyone?
You might want to cross ref your emotions with some of the themes and note the Protagonist is a young immature teenage boy who are The Masters at such behavior and its real ugly.
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Nicki Sunshine {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am}
I agree… I’ve definitely succeeded in becoming “emotionally detached,” but although it’s not healthy, I’m safe.
I admire those that can love and live freely and not become so calloused when it doesn’t work out. One of my girls is like that. When it’s over, all she says is, “I did my best,” and walks away.
[Reply]
temps {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:53 pm}
“admire those that can love and live freely and not become so calloused when it doesn’t work out. One of my girls is like that. When it’s over, all she says is, “I did my best,” and walks away”
This is what some men do in sports…you worked all year for this moment and BOOM the kick goes wide left…wait til nxt yr or if there is a next time how do you approach such dissapointment? Forget quickly but always give your best for the moment at least if it doesnt work you know you gave it a good effort.
[Reply]
genius khan {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:22 pm}
Shayd exhales:
” he has always been there and never once has he done anything to make me think he wouldn’t be but all those years of being “hardcore” and programming myself against emotion has been detrimental to our relationship on several occasions.
class can we get a round of applause for this. this was very therapeutic expression. i can literally hear an intense feeling and consequent distressed, cracked voice and pouring out, in ur responses today. i encourage u to send ur comment that i’m responding to along to ur husband. …explaining that the reasons for sharing it with him are selfish. i see ur helping urself today. Salute!
[Reply]
I have no idea who this is…
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 am}
i have it on good authority that shes the ambiguosly exotic girl from the transformers movie…i say that because she looks like shes not all the way white, but i dont think theres any black in her…im sure p-jack will ask if she wants some
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 am}
Since I don’t watch any movies that disrespect my child hood, lol, I don’t her. lol.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:52 am}
awwww, i loved transformers!!
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 am}
lol. you know GI Joe is on the way. and slightly off target…rocky horror too
but transformers was pretty good
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 am}
i mentioned GI Joe to a dude today and he had NO IDEA what i was talkin about! i hit him with the “now you know and knowing is half the battle” and he was like…ive heard that before. you damn right you heard it before!!!!
he said he never watched it…made me seriously question what the hell he was doin during the 80s
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 am}
? wtf…i guess my @ss was watching too much tv. now if somebody decides to mess with Jem or She-ra, i cannot be held responsible for my actions.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 am}
that would be TRULY outrageous!
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:27 am}
lmao!!!!! and on that note i’m going to bed. back (later) in the morning…smh
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:30 am}
I know they’d better NOT mess w/Jem and The Holograms!! That was my jam right there.
And if they eff w/the Thundercats, ya’ll will see me on the news. No lie.
Shay-d-lady {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:31 am}
Okay why was my first make believe boyfriends, Rio, Lion-o and Flint from GI Joe.. I also use to have a pair of jemstar earrings (not really, just gold star shapes) and I would be in my room singing loud as he.ll and my mother would tell me to shut up and would press them and say.. shows over synergy….
8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 am}
In regards to Jem…I had cassettes of their songs…actual Jem cassettes that came with the dolls.
I still own them.
I sang the mistfits song to my boss last week.
I’m leaving now.
Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 am}
I want a Jem movie so bad. lol
miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 am}
Jem… now that was a show!
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm}
You can find full Jem episodes on YouTube. Not that I stayed up late one Wed. night watching them or anything.
8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm}
V.E.G.
Sincerely I say…thank you.
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:42 pm}
WHAT?!?! *making mental note to check youtube*
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm}
Shatani, I make a note of saying “knowing is half the battle” at least once a week. It fits into SO many conversations.
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am}
rocky horror??
a remake to the rocky horror picture show?
why?
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am}
hell if i know. brought to you by your friends at mtv. *sheds a tear*
[Reply]
Uninspired Muse {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm}
There will be no Rocky Horror movie…
Too many of us hardcore fans wont let that mess go down.
Ill choke the director with my Magenta wig.
The Fox chick kinda killed the Transformer movie for me. Thats what happens when you re-make something good. Blame the tanning bottle and flat iron for the bi-racial look I guess.
[Reply]
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:43 pm}
“Ill choke the director with my Magenta wig.”
I’ll drive the get away car…
Panama Jackson {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am}
im sure p-jack will ask if she wants some..
i’m not sure why i got to the be one asking if she wants some black in her. i did think she was hot in transformers though…but definitely not some hottest chick on the planet stuff…
[Reply]
Swamii {October 2nd, 2008 at 7:52 am}
She alright. She got toe thumbs, however………………
[Reply]
Peyso {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 am}
Please explain.
[Reply]
So it seems that the ladies of VSB are trying to collectively say Megan Fox needs a lifeline, a deal (or no deal), and most importantly, MORE PEOPLE (like the U.S. Army).
Is I right?
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 am}
Make that Marines. Her people need to come hard.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:53 am}
the few. the proud. megan fox’s people.
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:57 am}
i’m not sure if her people are proud…wait…was that mean?
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 am}
yes. and it made me laugh.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 am}
if you havent got anything nice to say…..come sit next to me!
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SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 am}
*running over to sit next to shatani* can we talk?
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am}
Pulls up next to SouthernGirl
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am}
girrrrrl….lets dish! lemme tell you bout this hussy i saw today!
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 am}
TELL ME!!! And I’ll tell you about the heffa I saw on my way home from work…
Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:31 pm}
pulling up a chair between V.E.G and Southern Girl. **Anyone want sunflower seeds?**
Luvvie {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm}
*Squeezing btn Shatani & SGirl* Shatani is my eBFF. CLEARLY I rarely have anything nice to say.
blackberry molasses {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm}
can I join? i have homemade pound cake and a snarky attitude.
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm}
“can I join? i have homemade pound cake and a snarky attitude.”
*taps blackberry on the head with tinkerbell-like wand while giving her the welcoming side-eye*
girlllll…come on in.
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:09 am}
good…me too! lmao
[Reply]
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 am}
I’d say you IS right.
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eysqueen {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:12 am}
I mean she is only 22 right? Lets think of all the stupid things we said and believed back then….go ahead, i can wait…..
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miss t-lee {October 2nd, 2008 at 8:38 am}
She is hella young…lol
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm}
I couldn’t differentiate Ms. Fox from any of the other chicks posted in FHM, Stuff, Maxim mags and the sort but I do since a smell of hate behind these comments..
[Reply]
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm}
boy please…while i can’t speak for the other ladies, ain’t nobody hatin’ on her. in general, i think she’s pretty girl when she’s not trying to be EXTRA and has one less coat of makeup. and while i don’t follow her, everytime i come across her picture or something she said, it’s usually too much and bordering on skanky. it’s a thin line…
[Reply]
A woman who claims to date like a man probably has self esteem issues or claims that BS to appeal to other men. Honestly most guys I know don’t want a girlfriend who is “one of the guys” that’s what home boys are for. Either way be yourself. If a woman is a tom boy or likes to do guy things then so be it. Don’t add extras to it.
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 am}
“Honestly most guys I know don’t want a girlfriend who is “one of the guys” that’s what home boys are for”
i agree. i mean, i like when women like sports and steaks and p*rn and sh*t, but when i hafta remind myself that she’s not one of my ninjas, the mojo dissipates.
[Reply]
K. {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:38 am}
I agree too. Any dude who wants a woman who is ‘like a dude’ needs to go on and sashay out of the closet and get himself a man.
[Reply]
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm}
Good Point!! Don’t add the extras and shyt.
[Reply]
cool post champ..hey yall…missed the hottest spot on the nucca net… VSB stand up !!
Well - this is a thing that I like to call ” you so cool”…I have been told this like a million and 60 times in my life by men/guys/boys/dudes/hard heads …be it my ability to recite UGK ,Eric B to knowing what duck butta is ( man ) or who Kimbo Slice is.( I was just being me) …there are just some things a women is NOT suppose to do… like change her own tire, light bulb- or for some men, change her mind…Point..women need to date like THEMSELVES….if that just so happens to mean you have a few less emotions when you cut and run…–dats you…why do Men get all the credit for being the stronger dater?? ..men COME FROM women…we are the sum of our past experiences…. good and bad…dating is not a science…I think we have created this thing that makes it harder than it has to be… with that no one will know ALL the answers or the better dating advantage..womanesqe dating vs dudedating….rubbish I say… just enjoy each other…BUT that would be too easy…be yourself in the beginning-so you can save time in the end…
[Reply]
Luvvie {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:53 am}
“.men COME FROM women”
Not according to the book of Genesis (if thats ur belief system)
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V dot E dot G dot {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 am}
Look at Luvvie showing off that biblical knowledge.
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southernabelle {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 am}
I am with you according to the GOOD book…but you got my meaning I am sure..
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 am}
Why do we, in general, see having more emotions as being a bad thing?
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:19 am}
it goes against our nature, i think…humans tend to try and simplify their worlds. there is nothing more complicated than having many (often conflicting) emotions….it is simply not parsimonious (i like to use that word for no reason…its right up there with penultimate)
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm}
my favorite word to throw around is vacillate… cause it sounds dirty
[Reply]
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm}
IH, do you mean “vacillate”?
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm}
yes Monk, that is what I meant, I had vaseline on my mind from an earlier post
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PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:26 am}
I’d say because somebody, somewhere, at some point in time told us (women) that our inborn, necessary gift of emotionalism cancels out LOGIC. It in fact, enhances our logic and serves us well AS WOMEN and all that truly means.
IMHO.
[Reply]
Swamii {October 2nd, 2008 at 7:56 am}
Ahhh, no, IMHO and experience…….
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 am}
welcome back and sh*t
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genius khan {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm}
belle tells:
“be yourself in the beginning-so you can save time in the end…”
salute!
but mufukaz don’t know who they are and rather study outerspace than innerspace.
…has left the planet.
[Reply]
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm}
“mufukaz don’t know who they are and rather study outerspace than innerspace.”
This goes down in the list of realest shyt ever typed.
[Reply]
temps {October 3rd, 2008 at 10:38 pm}
to southernbelle:
only thing wrong here is Eric B is the DJ but I am sure you know The R is MC and damn nobody caught this…yea hip hop is dead
[Reply]
I think many of us assume that men can date without catching feelings. And some of us have tried to emulate that: hitting numerous guys, discounting their feelings, blowing ‘em off, reveling in your “man eater” nickname.
What we fail to realize even the hardest guy falls at some point and can sit at home analyzing/dissecting his latest convo with his boo. He just won’t tell anyone.
I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be. I’ve seen this play out with numerous men and women.
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am}
“I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be”
good point and sh*t
[Reply]
Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm}
“I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be. I’ve seen this play out with numerous men and women.”
This is fact.
[Reply]
I’d like to direct attention to the comment I put above that says “Not according to the book of Genesis”.
Why? B/c its probably the first non-foolish one I’ve written on VSB. Like EVER. Can I get an award for that?
[Reply]
V dot E dot G dot {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 am}
I was proud. Now I shake my head.
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shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 am}
luvvie always lookin for a damn handout.
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The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am}
so you want an award for being a grown-up?
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8th Wonder {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 am}
Oh Snap
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm}
oooooo.
I mean, don’t talk like that to Luvvie.
[Reply]
Folks: I am actually on the phone with a guy I tried to “date like a man”. Very intense convo.
Be careful what you do/who you try to be. At some point you have to face your ghosts/deal with the ish you dished out.
[Reply]
SouthernGirl {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:00 am}
Be careful what you do/who you try to be.
yup. being yourself is NOT overrated
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Monk {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm}
“being yourself is NOT overrated”
Although it’s not slap your knee, laugh out loud comedy, this would make a great tee…
[Reply]
Luvvie {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:00 am}
Umm I need u to get ur life rite. Whats w/ the V dot E dot crap??
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:02 am}
The system is blocking my PG posts so I tried to sneak in.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 pm}
I love that you aliased yourself by spelling out the dots
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V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm}
I was paying homage to GK.
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Intellectual Hedonist {October 2nd, 2008 at 2:35 pm}
yeah I see you flirting …LOL
[Reply]
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 am}
say word, V dot!
actions have consequences and we will all eventually have to be held accountable.
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 am}
Yeah. And I am realizing that I have a reputation for being an ‘ice princess’ or ‘disconnected’ when that is not who I am at all.
[Reply]
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 am}
ive been called cold and heartless in the past….that couldnt be further from the truth
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:12 am}
There are at least a couple of dudes on this planet who think I have a heart of ice.
[Reply]
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 am}
we can start a club. *e-hug*
[Reply]
The Champ {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am}
ummm, i’m gonna need ya’ll to start paying dues on all these clubs and sh*t. send em to contact@verysmartbrothas.com
PBG {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:32 am}
Same here, V.E.G.
And I like it that way. Hmph.
[Reply]
puff {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 am}
i feel you V i keep getting told by random a$$ bytches that i “intimidate men” - wtf? ish is so tired, if you can’t stand the heat, feel free not to come into the kitchen, but bear in mind you’re gonna miss out on all this good cooking. just cos i’m not one of those giggly thirsty a$$ bytches who be fawning all over a dude like he’s the last male on the planet…
i’m sorry, i’m a little salty tonight. certain women have been messing with me trying to get me down.
[Reply]
shatani {October 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 am}
dont let those heffas get to you puff…you rock, dammit!
[Reply]
Shay-d-lady {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 am}
Yeah. And I am realizing that I have a reputation for being an ‘ice princess’ or ‘disconnected’ when that is not who I am at all.
Yeah VEG.. the dude whose car I went all ballistic on and flooded the apartment said he never thought I cared that much..I was like what? ninja I co-signed on an apartment for your a$$! and the ex boyfriend I went round and round with that I left my friend on the couch for? same thing he said outside of s.e.x I acted as if I could care less. Meanwhile I was thinking I was walking around with my heart on my sleeve and telling myself I was giving to much away. I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 3:40 am}
“I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……”
Great analogy.
[Reply]
Jen {October 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 am}
That WAS deep.
[Reply]
V Renee {October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am}
“I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……”
LOVE that analogy!
[Reply]
genius khan {October 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 am}
lol!!&*^%$#!!
v dot e dot g dot.
i so luvs u and ur smart too. melikes. u so flatter me.
heh, heh, heh..
kiss urself.
[Reply]
V.E.G. {October 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm}
I’d rather kiss you