recently dubbed the “sexiest woman on earth” (ha!) by jerkmag FMH, attractive snizzle megan fox recently explained in GQ why she feels as if she’s the perfect catch
But for now, it’s hard not to wish for a world where everyone in Hollywood talked like this no-bullshit Megan Fox. This one who is convinced that she’s secretly a man (“If my mom were to tell me that I’d been born with male and female genitalia and that she had to make a choice, I would believe her”). This one who’s not afraid to talk about her life at home, where she and Brian spend most of their time watching movies and playing Xbox together. She’s even up for just sitting there all day watching him play Gears of War.
“That’s the upside of dating a woman who’s almost a man,” she says. “She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!”
from “sex in the city’s” amanda to ciara’s “like a boy”, the idea of women approaching romance like a typical man has always been a relevant, if somewhat polarizing, topic. this idea itself explicitly states that there are distinct differences in the thought processes, dating, and mating patterns between each gender (which i believe) and also not so subtly implies that men do it better.
honestly, i don’t believe that any gender has a distinct advantage over the other in this regard, but i will say that its a bit humorous that women who openly state that they “act, think, and date like men” usually have just adopted the worst characteristics of the typical male. its like a young emcee saying that they’re trying to emulate nas…but choosing “nastradamus” as their blueprint instead of “illmatic”.
questions to ponder:
what exactly is “dating like a man”, how exactly would a woman go about doing this and, is purposely emulating the traits of another gender a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen?
thoughts, please
—the champ
Related posts:
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
from “sex in the city’s” amanda
i think you mean samantha…lol
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am
Champ must have had some of that gotdamn messing with his brain…. smh
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Leila Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 am
lol! I was trying to figure out who Amanda was.
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BigBuck Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:03 am
Leave him alone, I give the man props for getting it wrong. I would have to ask some questions if the brother was really up on his Sex in the City character knowledge.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 am
yeah, you know i went to see the movie with some of my homegirls and i still don’t know all the characters names. in fact…i only know the chick miranda’s name. i don’t even know sarah jessica parker’s name on the show.
and i’m really trying to figure it out right now…and i got nothing.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
Carrie…lol
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 am
first, HEY BIG BUCK! we missed you!
second, but what’s Champ’s excuse for calling that magazine “FMH” instead of FHM…i thought you men liked those types of mags.
Champ, you’re slippin. Report to my journalism class immediately!
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
“i thought you men liked those types of mags.”
i dont think anyone actually buys those mags other than barbershops and college students.
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:15 am
What guy really takes stock in the names of ’sex and the city’ characters???? Like really, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to recite the characters’ names or they’d shoot, I’d be dead.
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Tay Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
They did something similar to one of the children on family guy. Each time he couldn’t remember all 4 names, they gave him electroshock therapy. lol
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am
I don’t think I’d make it out alive either, Monk. I think I may have watch that show once. Meh…couldn’t relate.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:53 am
It’s kinda like an evil Jeopardy question that Alex Trebec would ask a dude that just knew EVERYTHING. Because he spent more than 87% of his life remembering ‘important’ things, that’ll be the one thing that stomped him.
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:11 am
samantha, amanda, gonzaga…same thing
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am
Only it isn’t.
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
stuck in a melrose place past..we forgive you Champ
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
ummm…thanks. (i think)
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as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong. i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender. i know i can usually only go so far without getting attached to someone, IF that’s what i’m looking for as i’m more of a relationship girl but i have had a cut buddy here and there.
actually, i’ve been told i’m a guy’s girl because i love basketball, know music/(real) hip hop, mob movies, video games and the like. and i can get real rowdy and cuss like a sailor if need be. but i think i balance things well because i’m also very feminine, makeup, hair done, etc. and the walk is mean in a good pair of heels,of which i have many. so maybe the point should be trying to find a balance…
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:13 am
“i think you have a point though about people trying to date like the opposite sex usually meaning taking on the bad traits of that gender”
lol…i specifically said “women” not “people” for a reason. this seems to be female-specific behavior
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Leila Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.
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Panama Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
“I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”
that’s probably b/c he’d be gay. or at least ubermetro and teetering on that line by wearing clear nail polish.
not that there’s anything wrong with t hat.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 am
there is a whole lot wrong with that…the only nail polish my man ever needs to be wearing is the kind that accidentally spilled on him while I was doing my nails sitting in his lap
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
Amen! I can’t be walking around with no man fighting me for mirror space and bathroom time trying to be prettier than me.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
that’s why I cant fux with Kappa’s
Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
hahahahahahahahahaha
temps Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 pm
“It wouldn’t work for men. Women would lose respect for any man that went around saying that he dates like a woman and likes the same things that a woman does only he has a penis. I wouldn’t date a man who was into shopping, getting manis/pedis, talks about his feelings, etc.”
Thank you “Leila”…cause this is really one of those Women Only things aint nothing cool about men into foundation, facial skin care and booking appts for the spa..cant wait til this cross gender polanating thing is dead…all we need now is a chick to shoot up a school!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 am
lol. ok fine…”women.” but you weren’t as specific at the end and said “gender.” but you get my point.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 am
Uuuh, yeah, there is a difference.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
“as for the question, i think doing anything that is not true to who you are is the disaster waiting to happen. be it trying to date like a man or trying to make something work when everything in your spirit is telling you that its wrong.”
This is so true.
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a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.
the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.
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ForReal Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:08 am
“a woman who openly states that she dates like a man is probably utilizing a defense mechanism which enables her to imagine she is more callous than she really is. she’s proving something to herself. this can be disastrous if the phase doesn’t run its course.”
That’s some true ish right there. Nothing quite as sad as someone making a vehement proclamation that is really just a question that everyone around them knows the real answer to.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:22 am
My name is Monk…and I endorse this comment.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am
“the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel”
Tee-hee!!!
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:15 am
good comment for a (i think) first timer. welcome and sh*t
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
having trouble keeping track? Champy, don’t you keep a roster of all the players?
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
i can’t help it. i get my rosters confused sometimes.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
are you saying that some VSBers are on another of your rosters?
shay Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
shake hands with your partner
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hey. Reply:
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm
“the REAL DEAL daters don’t let you know the agenda! they are simply programmed that way and enjoy their unsuspecting prey, morsel by morsel. fortunately few men have their guard up ;D – we do exist.”
Amen and Awoman.
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Who the heezy is Megan Fox? I mean, should I actually know?
And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man?? Seriously…I hate hearing crap like that. Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?
Ilk. Blech. Yuck.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 am
And what able-minded woman would want to be ANYTHING like a man??
lol. true.
she’s that chick in the transformers movie. i had NO idea who she was until then and have no idea what she’s done since.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:24 am
i have a vague idea of who megan fox is…maybe you should google her
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:26 am
Champ quotes her as hanging out w/her dude playing video games and watching movies most of the time.
I’ll pass on googling her. She seems like a bubblehead.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:30 am
lol
puff Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 am
“Why would any woman want to deny and denounce their sensible moon goddess, earth mother status to be like a dude?”
i love you! *lighting incense and turning ferns in north corner of bedroom counter clockwise 7 times while chanting in amharic*
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 am
Puff totally gets it.
I think I’ll burn incense and chant along w/you, Puff. And toss up some glitter for good measure.
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 am
girl, just go’head and splash diva dust all over everything
Raqi Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:30 am
I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:33 am
Isn’t it grand? And I’m not even a woman that’s always done up in heels and dressy dresses. But goodness gracies, I love being a girl.
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Raqi Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 am
BEING A GIRLS RAWK!!!
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am
to quote my 6 and 7 year old neices…Girls rule, boys drool
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
This is why I prefer the company of children. They say some of the best stuff.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
and most of the times they tellin the truth
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
its the Raq!
“I agree. I love being a woman, acting like a woman, feeling and thinking like a woman. And wouldn’t want to change that for anything, no matter what.”
my fantasy adultery team.
whispers to PBG…
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
uh oh.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
fret not PBG, no need for uh oh’s.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am
Who the heezy is Megan Fox?
ctfu…ask a 2520 dude…he’ll know exactly who she is…lol
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am
Yet more evidence as to why I will go on and skip knowing/caring about who this Fox chick is.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:17 am
honestly, i had no idea who she was either, until she showed up on the cover of my new GQ.
the pic, ummm, served its purpose
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
*side eye* lol
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:52 am
did you use lotion, vaseline, or nothing at all?
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
IH, why?
whyyyyyyy?
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm
8th, I’m sorry did I say something bad?
Deviant Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 am
she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:25 am
“she is the chick from Transformers. I wonder how many sets of balls she held to get that title? I know women in real life that I’d squirt on before her.”
i’m just amazed that this comment got past moderation, lol
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
Wow!! Too Funny!!
Deviant Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 am
squirt aint a bad word. you gotta b creative with your profanity.
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“squirt aint a bad word”
definitely a t-shirt
DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.
Worse than “dating like men” is “having sex like men.”
Know why men can date and have sex like men? Because they lack cervices and uteri. NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.
The truth hurts.
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puff Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 am
“You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”
cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold blooded
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southernabelle Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 am
dammmn Jen.. you said that and ish…ditto
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am
That is one DANK and MOLDY blanket right thurr!
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 am
you and your blankets! lol…luvvie, you a mess.
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 am
tee hee hee… that blanket gets me everytime…
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aja Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 am
Dayum..thanks for keeping it real.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:28 am
“NEWSFLASH TO WOMEN: when YOU have sex/date like men, you’re not liberated. You’re not sexy. You’re not free. You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer.
The truth hurts.”
I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 am
I recognize the truth in this statement but for some reason, it’s funny as hell to me…LOL!!
Me 2…Jen laid it down…lol
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 am
Indeed.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 am
i’m not big on random sex or dating like a man as i said earlier but…just to play devil’s advocate since this comment is aimed at women…isn’t the man who orginally does these things a slut as well?
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am
According to society’s standards, Not.So.Much.
Privilege is a muthafugga.
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:54 am
Sure. But, given the absence of cervices and uteri, does it matter for HIM the way it matters for HER? Think about babies, fertility impairment, risk of serious disease (cancer and HIV, paritcularly), emotional damage and even the least of these, social stigma.
Hell no. Hence the high fiving, butt-slapping, dap-giving, cabbage-patching or whatever it is that men do to congratulate one another on being loose. It’s common.
To contrast, if your girlfriends encourage you to be loose, they don’t give a d@mn about you or your health, are probably talking about your hot @$$ behind your back and you need to find new friends.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
i guess it’s just one of those things that annoy me even though i don’t do it.i know its common but that doesn’t make it right and its one of those things like every other gender bias. it will never end as long as people just accept it and gloss over it like, oh he’s a man so its ok. all their random banging can come back to haunt us as well. even the good girls.
it might not matter for him the way it does for her as you say, BUT IT SHOULD. and to me, you are still a ho. hoes don’t know gender. and neither do diseases. they may not have the risk of cervical cancer or have a uterus but they are at risk as well. i’m not giving you a pass just because you are a man.
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Guys don’t get a pass Southern Girl, but because of basic physiology, women tend to be a greater risk for diseases and damages to our “parts”. The whole s3x/reproduction thing is just a bigger risk to US overall. That’s not gender bias. That’s biology and nature.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I know that but I still don’t think it excuses men from their behavior. When I talk about gender bias I mean the way said behavior is perceived and accepted. And men do get a pass on that the majority of the time while women get branded as sluts.
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:37 pm
So Southern Girl (I hear Frankie Beverly and Maze every time I type this…lol), what kind of things would you say to a teenage girl to attempt to help her get her mind right in this area? Knowing this society to be exactly what it is, what would be sound advice?
And this is NO B.S. for me either, I really want to know. I have a girl-child at “that age” and so far I’ve been emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices for herself. Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Lord, please don’t bring up Maze…lol. I just can’t escape that ish…but on a serious note…
I really believe that emphasizing self-esteem and making good choices is really all you can do. Don’t underestimate that. Girls make better choices when they feel good about themselves. You can’t do it enough. I thank God for the confidence and self-esteem my mama instilled in me. I may have my moments but its taken me through so many hard times. Because at the core, I can always come back to that. And pray.
My mother was always very honest with me (she had me when she was 19) and I just remember being that single mama kid and I know what that’s like. So on top of what my mama instilled in me, I just remember what that struggle can be like.
I was always saddened by some of my female friends and how caught up they got in other girls’ opinions, peer pressure, etc. Just make sure she really knows and feels she can talk to you. She might not always do it, but make sure she knows she can. Don’t yell or judge her when she does come to you. Talk to her like she’s a person. Answer her questions honestly. I’ve seen it backfire. Use things you see in public or tv (young girls with kids, inappropriate behavior, etc) to start a conversation. My mama would do that or just start a talk with me about whatever and ask how I would handle the situation. Let her know what struggles you went through. And that the choices she makes today can impact her life forever. Let her see the impact of bad decisions.
Don’t shy away from the realities of sex, drugs, peer pressure, etc. Tell her that unfortunately she will be judged by a different standard sexually, and while that may (righfully) give her more pause when determining her actions, everyone, both male and female should be cautious in the decisions they make. Girls especially as some men will unfortunately try to take advantage of her. Because while men may get the glory while women get reputations, it all comes back around in the end and that same man may later be cursing the choices he made. Tell her its ok to stand up for herself and make choices based on how she feels, not what the people around her want. And please tell her that her real friends or the people that care about her will stand by her.
I’m sure you’re probably already doing these things but I really believe just talking honestly to your children can help. Sorry this was long.
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I am doing all these things! You’ve described my Mommy-style perfectly…I feel validated n’ shyt.
Pish-posh @ it being a long reply. It was effective.
Seriously, thank you, because sometimes in this whole “parenting” thing, I just need to hear somebody say I’m doing it right. You have made my entire week.
*sprinkles glitter*
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:52 pm
You are seriously welcome. Glad I could help–that made ME feel good. Sometimes moms don’t get the credit they deserve and I know its hard. I am so grateful to my mom for helping me become the woman I am today. *hugs*
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 am
“You’re a slut who just put herself at risk of cervical cancer. ”
lol…for whatever reason, this seems like something ron burgandy would have said in “anchorman”
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
“The truth hurts”
Yes it does. That’s a heavy price to pay though. Isn’t it something like 8 out of 10 women who will contract HPV (the cause of CC) in their lifetime. So i guess the theory is the slu#ts won’t be able to ward off the more cancerous strains.
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when i think of the idea of dating like a man…it just says to me, dating just for the purpose of dating. not pinning all your hopes and dreams to some one you just met. i think a lot of times women go into things with far too many expectations and then end up severely disappointed.
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MsSula Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am
I was thinking along those lines too…
Has anybody ever thought that to some women that behavior just come naturally? Rather than trying to “emulate” somebody else, it’s what feels natural for them to do.
People are different. I hate when things are generalized based on gender. I have 3 sisters and if it told me anything, it’s that there is no such thing as “common behavior among women”… especially when it comes to dating.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 am
MsSula: “there is no such thing as “common behavior among women”… especially when it comes to dating.”
Although people are different (as you stated) and that’s what makes us us, I think the above statement has many flaws in it. Personal experience and documented proof in over a hundred VSB posts suggest otherwise.
More people, please.
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MsSula Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Then again, the VSB sample is a pretty narrow one… Not one that can be “respectfully” extended… No?
And I have 3 more people waiting in the wings for ya.
Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:37 am
I think that is called dating sensibly,and men nor women have that one pinned down.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 am
i agree…its all about perception. and some women perceive that men know the deal and are doing it “right”….i say, call it whatever you want, just dont date like an idiot.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 am
“dont date like an idiot.”
tee shirt???
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 am
Yes!
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am
I concur. You shouldn’t do ANYTHING like an idiot though…unless you are one, then of course the ‘idiot’ default system is instilled in you and there’s probably a slight chance of hope…if any.
eysqueen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:07 am
and following this logic, which i agree with, we are actually giving guys a compliment. IF dating like a man means dating for the sake of dating and not getting super attached and clingy really early AND a woman says she dates like i man, i suggest that the fellas TAKE THE DANG COMPLIMENT. and keep it moving.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:22 am
“dating just for the purpose of dating”
actually, we talked about this a few months ago, but no man dates just for the purpose of dating (ie: “without expectations”)
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K. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am
For women, purpose = relationship. If you’re dating for any other reason than that then you’re dating w/o a purpose.
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Deviant Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am
all women do not subscribe to this logic. the purpose doesnt always equal relationship. Sometimes she just migth want her oil changed.
K. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:18 am
“all women do not subscribe to this logic.”
um, duh.
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
Or free meal, drinks, recreation. Chick privilege.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm
or brakes fixed, car detailed, gutters cleaned, fence mended…. um can someone fix my brakes please, have my car detailed, clean my gutters, and mend my fence?
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:07 am
For men, is sex a possible “expectation” that comes with dating?
Let’s be honest, here; sometimes, the children do not know.
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speaking from experience, i think a big part of trying to date “like a man” comes from an insecurity that you’re more committed (or sprung) than he is, and that you’ll be less in control than he is. this leads to not answering his calls, acting like you’re dating other guys (or actually dating other guys), and especially not letting your guard down around him or being vulnerable around him (for example, not saying i love you until he does). i’ll admit a lot of these assumptions spring from stereotypes, but i’ve foolishly done these things to avoid getting hurt and ending up jeopardising a relationship before it even really got started.
i also think that either separating sex from emotion – or acting like you can – is a big part of this (shout out to amy crackhouse). if i f*ck with “no strings attached” or act like that’s what i’m doing, which is something i think a lot of people believe men do, then i feel like i’m more in control, even though in actual fact i want to be held and have my hair stroked, maybe make a ni99a a sandwich, not bounce out 2 minutes later to get asked by the security guard in my building “sooooooooo… how was that food you just got?”
i need a new jumpoff.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:32 am
lmao! i so saw that starting to get personal, puffster…security guard need to mind his!
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Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 am
“this leads to…acting like you’re dating other guys (or actually dating other guys)…and ending up jeopardising a relationship before it even really got started.”
TRUTH.
I did this when I first started dating my ex, when I was seventeen. Huge mistake. He was sitting his loyal @$$ at home while I was making up all these exploits that I was too old fashioned to actually undertake. Me, being a childish imbecile, thought I had to keep up with him and at least try to follow up on his SORDID past when, in reality, he was ready to settle down.
I paid for that mess for the first year of our relationship. I was in love with him almost from jump (again, I was seventeen), but it took him a while to separate my feelings from the games, lies and exaggeration.
Not worth it.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 am
“when, in reality, he was ready to settle down.”
how old was he, if you don’t mind me asking?
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Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 am
21. And, of course, I am referring to the early twenties “settling down,” which is not the mid-twenties – early thirties “settling down.”
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
early twenties and settling down is about as stark as an oxymoron as i can think of, lol. thats like saying corporate thug or celibate hispanic
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 am
celibate Hispanic = very UGLY.
I disagree. Plenty of men are in monogamous relationships by their early twenties.
Hell, that’s the prototypical standard for the vast majority of my friends who were married by their mid-twenties. Meet a nice girl in undergrad, lock her down by graduation, pop the question during grad school, marry immediately before or after your extra letters are issued.
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 am
hmmm…see, when i’m thinking “early 20’s,”, i’m actually thinking 19-21 (i know it doesn’t make sense.) i guess extending my definition of early twenties would lower the oxymoron factor
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am
I agree…although I like U.S.D.A.’s “Corporate Thuggin’” track.
Very energetic and get the day started right.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
“celibate hispanic”
HEY! I resent that
not really it was actually funny
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
celibate hi….what?!! grounds for dismissal.
again your f*cking fired Champ.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 am
Awww….
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:26 am
“i need a new jumpoff.”
t-shirt? i’m gonna call it before one of the fellas…
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:30 am
i’ll second that emotion…
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 am
“i need a new jumpoff.”
t-shirt? i’m gonna call it before one of the fellas…
Women wearing this shirt will get mobbed…LOL
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:54 am
I would wear it to my current Jumpoff’s house….
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 am
lmao!
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:31 am
Is that a turn on though? I’d prefer trench coat (nothing underneath) and heels.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
whats the address?
I have some candy apple red stilettos
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
how many people have you e-boned this week?
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
*shots fired*
Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
DAMMMNN!! I think Champ is tryna call u an eSLUT
*Whispers and instigates to IH* If I were you I wouldnt take that from him!
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
hey now, e-boning is safer sex
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
@ champ, did you want me to include you in that number?
No shame in this direction, e boning is the new celibacy
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
“e boning is the new celibacy”
i second that. e boning is for the real playas…lol
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 am
I totally agree Puff…
I think it is a way for women to protect themselves. In this day and age of disastrous relationships;. most women have witnessed a horrible relationship up close and personal. I know in my case, after watching a woman I know and love being repeatedly dogged both mentally and emotionally, cheated on etcI have always felt the man was wrong but I somehow always thought the woman was weak and had given her power to the man and although I hated the man I wanted to hold that power. Consequently in most of my relationships I programmed my self to think and act this way which is why I would get so angry and lash out when I got sprung/fell in love and was let down. I realize now that I was trying to not only have the power but have the power over that same type of man that I hated yet envied. This type of thing is terrible. Its one of the most trying part of being in a relationship now because it is hard for me to let go and be dependant on my husband. I still to this day feel uncomfortable after a huge display of feminine emotion. When I have had a bad day at work, or my family has really been on me etc etc its still hard to turn to him, he has always been there and never once has he done anything to make me think he wouldn’t be but all those years of being “hardcore” and programming myself against emotion has been detrimental to our relationship on several occasions.
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em Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:47 am
I agree that it’s a way of protecting oneself. For myself I have been told by my female and male friends that I can be aloof, indifferent; seemingly like a man…
As far as dating like a man and doing manly stuff.., I don’t do it: I don’t play video games, I don’t watch a lot of sports or whatever the heck men do.
There are times while dating someone I become hyperaware of feeling caught up, and it manifests itself into some anxiety (can’t breathe, feel trapped, panicked… all that). Once those feelings surface in the relationship, I usually just check out. I was once engaged to a man. The relationship was great, easy until it got to that level of seriousness. I panicked. I cried. I couldn’t get out of bed. I thought I was dying. I ended the relationship because I was going crazy. I probably really need to seek help regarding this.
I just know that when I am emotionally detached I feel safe. Oddly, I do like the companionship, like having someone there. Unfortunately, I know I “thrive” in relationships without substance. I seek the emotionally unavailable/geographically undesirable because I know there will very little demanded of me. I wonder why I bother…it’s like some internal struggle…I want the warmth, the compassion and yet I fear it.
*plays Fiona Apple’s “Criminal”*
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:08 am
I can totally relate to what Em and The Shay-d-lady have stated here.
I know I have worked hard at emotional detachment. I have pushed my twin babies, “Fear & Control” around in a double stroller for years. Scared to let go and simply FEEL because it doesn’t always feel good to be in a relationship (even a good one). So I try to control it all, especially my emotions, thus my perceived vulnerability.
The real problem w/emotional detachment is eventually there will be a love, a time, a person who is TOTALLY deserving of all you have to offer and because you have worked so hard @ detachment and being emotionally unavailable, you will have lost the ability to reconnect. That is what made me seek out help learning to embrace and deal w/my emotions in a healthy manner. I was more afraid of NOT being able to love when I needed to than I was of being hurt.
I’m not a therapist, but dangit, I have a VERY solid working relationship with one.
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 am
Oh, wow. It sounds like the idea of commitment pushed you toward depression and panic attacks. The emotional detachment you are talking about sounds like it could be a form of dissociation, which is literally a post-traumatic byproduct.
You DEFINITELY should get some therapy. I am in therapy, and so are both of my closest friends (one, per my suggestion). My mom is a therapist, so I have grown up believing in the value of it and reading a lot of books about the human psyche. You obviously have a lot of trust issues, and I am sure they come from a valid place, but if you don’t sort things out, they will eventually impede your happiness.
temps Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm
“I want the warmth, the compassion and yet I fear it.”
Catcher and The Rye anyone?
You might want to cross ref your emotions with some of the themes and note the Protagonist is a young immature teenage boy who are The Masters at such behavior and its real ugly.
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:43 am
I agree… I’ve definitely succeeded in becoming “emotionally detached,” but although it’s not healthy, I’m safe.
I admire those that can love and live freely and not become so calloused when it doesn’t work out. One of my girls is like that. When it’s over, all she says is, “I did my best,” and walks away.
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temps Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
“admire those that can love and live freely and not become so calloused when it doesn’t work out. One of my girls is like that. When it’s over, all she says is, “I did my best,” and walks away”
This is what some men do in sports…you worked all year for this moment and BOOM the kick goes wide left…wait til nxt yr or if there is a next time how do you approach such dissapointment? Forget quickly but always give your best for the moment at least if it doesnt work you know you gave it a good effort.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Shayd exhales:
” he has always been there and never once has he done anything to make me think he wouldn’t be but all those years of being “hardcore” and programming myself against emotion has been detrimental to our relationship on several occasions.
class can we get a round of applause for this. this was very therapeutic expression. i can literally hear an intense feeling and consequent distressed, cracked voice and pouring out, in ur responses today. i encourage u to send ur comment that i’m responding to along to ur husband. …explaining that the reasons for sharing it with him are selfish. i see ur helping urself today. Salute!
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I have no idea who this is…
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 am
i have it on good authority that shes the ambiguosly exotic girl from the transformers movie…i say that because she looks like shes not all the way white, but i dont think theres any black in her…im sure p-jack will ask if she wants some
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 am
Since I don’t watch any movies that disrespect my child hood, lol, I don’t her. lol.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:52 am
awwww, i loved transformers!!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:14 am
lol. you know GI Joe is on the way. and slightly off target…rocky horror too
but transformers was pretty good
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 am
i mentioned GI Joe to a dude today and he had NO IDEA what i was talkin about! i hit him with the “now you know and knowing is half the battle” and he was like…ive heard that before. you damn right you heard it before!!!!
he said he never watched it…made me seriously question what the hell he was doin during the 80s
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 am
? wtf…i guess my @ss was watching too much tv. now if somebody decides to mess with Jem or She-ra, i cannot be held responsible for my actions.
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 am
that would be TRULY outrageous!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:27 am
lmao!!!!! and on that note i’m going to bed. back (later) in the morning…smh
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:30 am
I know they’d better NOT mess w/Jem and The Holograms!! That was my jam right there.
And if they eff w/the Thundercats, ya’ll will see me on the news. No lie.
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:31 am
Okay why was my first make believe boyfriends, Rio, Lion-o and Flint from GI Joe.. I also use to have a pair of jemstar earrings (not really, just gold star shapes) and I would be in my room singing loud as he.ll and my mother would tell me to shut up and would press them and say.. shows over synergy….
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 am
In regards to Jem…I had cassettes of their songs…actual Jem cassettes that came with the dolls.
I still own them.
I sang the mistfits song to my boss last week.
I’m leaving now.
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 am
I want a Jem movie so bad. lol
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 am
Jem… now that was a show!
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
You can find full Jem episodes on YouTube. Not that I stayed up late one Wed. night watching them or anything.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
V.E.G.
Sincerely I say…thank you.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
WHAT?!?! *making mental note to check youtube*
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Shatani, I make a note of saying “knowing is half the battle” at least once a week. It fits into SO many conversations.
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
rocky horror??
a remake to the rocky horror picture show?
why?
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am
hell if i know. brought to you by your friends at mtv. *sheds a tear*
Uninspired Muse Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
There will be no Rocky Horror movie…
Too many of us hardcore fans wont let that mess go down.
Ill choke the director with my Magenta wig.
The Fox chick kinda killed the Transformer movie for me. Thats what happens when you re-make something good. Blame the tanning bottle and flat iron for the bi-racial look I guess.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
“Ill choke the director with my Magenta wig.”
I’ll drive the get away car…
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
im sure p-jack will ask if she wants some..
i’m not sure why i got to the be one asking if she wants some black in her. i did think she was hot in transformers though…but definitely not some hottest chick on the planet stuff…
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:52 am
She alright. She got toe thumbs, however………………
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Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 am
Please explain.
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So it seems that the ladies of VSB are trying to collectively say Megan Fox needs a lifeline, a deal (or no deal), and most importantly, MORE PEOPLE (like the U.S. Army).
Is I right?
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 am
Make that Marines. Her people need to come hard.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:53 am
the few. the proud. megan fox’s people.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:57 am
i’m not sure if her people are proud…wait…was that mean?
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 am
yes. and it made me laugh.
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 am
if you havent got anything nice to say…..come sit next to me!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 am
*running over to sit next to shatani* can we talk?
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am
Pulls up next to SouthernGirl
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am
girrrrrl….lets dish! lemme tell you bout this hussy i saw today!
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 am
TELL ME!!! And I’ll tell you about the heffa I saw on my way home from work…
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
pulling up a chair between V.E.G and Southern Girl. **Anyone want sunflower seeds?**
Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
*Squeezing btn Shatani & SGirl* Shatani is my eBFF. CLEARLY I rarely have anything nice to say.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
can I join? i have homemade pound cake and a snarky attitude.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
“can I join? i have homemade pound cake and a snarky attitude.”
*taps blackberry on the head with tinkerbell-like wand while giving her the welcoming side-eye*
girlllll…come on in.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:09 am
good…me too! lmao
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 am
I’d say you IS right.
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eysqueen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:12 am
I mean she is only 22 right? Lets think of all the stupid things we said and believed back then….go ahead, i can wait…..
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:38 am
She is hella young…lol
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I couldn’t differentiate Ms. Fox from any of the other chicks posted in FHM, Stuff, Maxim mags and the sort but I do since a smell of hate behind these comments..
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
boy please…while i can’t speak for the other ladies, ain’t nobody hatin’ on her. in general, i think she’s pretty girl when she’s not trying to be EXTRA and has one less coat of makeup. and while i don’t follow her, everytime i come across her picture or something she said, it’s usually too much and bordering on skanky. it’s a thin line…
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A woman who claims to date like a man probably has self esteem issues or claims that BS to appeal to other men. Honestly most guys I know don’t want a girlfriend who is “one of the guys” that’s what home boys are for. Either way be yourself. If a woman is a tom boy or likes to do guy things then so be it. Don’t add extras to it.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 am
“Honestly most guys I know don’t want a girlfriend who is “one of the guys” that’s what home boys are for”
i agree. i mean, i like when women like sports and steaks and p*rn and sh*t, but when i hafta remind myself that she’s not one of my ninjas, the mojo dissipates.
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K. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:38 am
I agree too. Any dude who wants a woman who is ‘like a dude’ needs to go on and sashay out of the closet and get himself a man.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Good Point!! Don’t add the extras and shyt.
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cool post champ..hey yall…missed the hottest spot on the nucca net… VSB stand up !!
Well – this is a thing that I like to call ” you so cool”…I have been told this like a million and 60 times in my life by men/guys/boys/dudes/hard heads …be it my ability to recite UGK ,Eric B to knowing what duck butta is ( man ) or who Kimbo Slice is.( I was just being me) …there are just some things a women is NOT suppose to do… like change her own tire, light bulb- or for some men, change her mind…Point..women need to date like THEMSELVES….if that just so happens to mean you have a few less emotions when you cut and run…–dats you…why do Men get all the credit for being the stronger dater?? ..men COME FROM women…we are the sum of our past experiences…. good and bad…dating is not a science…I think we have created this thing that makes it harder than it has to be… with that no one will know ALL the answers or the better dating advantage..womanesqe dating vs dudedating….rubbish I say… just enjoy each other…BUT that would be too easy…be yourself in the beginning-so you can save time in the end…
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:53 am
“.men COME FROM women”
Not according to the book of Genesis (if thats ur belief system)
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V dot E dot G dot Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 am
Look at Luvvie showing off that biblical knowledge.
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southernabelle Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 am
I am with you according to the GOOD book…but you got my meaning I am sure..
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 am
Why do we, in general, see having more emotions as being a bad thing?
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:19 am
it goes against our nature, i think…humans tend to try and simplify their worlds. there is nothing more complicated than having many (often conflicting) emotions….it is simply not parsimonious (i like to use that word for no reason…its right up there with penultimate)
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
my favorite word to throw around is vacillate… cause it sounds dirty
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
IH, do you mean “vacillate”?
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
yes Monk, that is what I meant, I had vaseline on my mind from an earlier post
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:26 am
I’d say because somebody, somewhere, at some point in time told us (women) that our inborn, necessary gift of emotionalism cancels out LOGIC. It in fact, enhances our logic and serves us well AS WOMEN and all that truly means.
IMHO.
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:56 am
Ahhh, no, IMHO and experience…….
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 am
welcome back and sh*t
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
belle tells:
“be yourself in the beginning-so you can save time in the end…”
salute!
but mufukaz don’t know who they are and rather study outerspace than innerspace.
…has left the planet.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
“mufukaz don’t know who they are and rather study outerspace than innerspace.”
This goes down in the list of realest shyt ever typed.
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temps Reply:
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
to southernbelle:
only thing wrong here is Eric B is the DJ but I am sure you know The R is MC and damn nobody caught this…yea hip hop is dead
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I think many of us assume that men can date without catching feelings. And some of us have tried to emulate that: hitting numerous guys, discounting their feelings, blowing ‘em off, reveling in your “man eater” nickname.
What we fail to realize even the hardest guy falls at some point and can sit at home analyzing/dissecting his latest convo with his boo. He just won’t tell anyone.
I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be. I’ve seen this play out with numerous men and women.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am
“I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be”
good point and sh*t
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
“I actually think that the more vulnerable you are, the harder you may pretend to be. I’ve seen this play out with numerous men and women.”
This is fact.
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I’d like to direct attention to the comment I put above that says “Not according to the book of Genesis”.
Why? B/c its probably the first non-foolish one I’ve written on VSB. Like EVER. Can I get an award for that?
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V dot E dot G dot Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 am
I was proud. Now I shake my head.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:06 am
luvvie always lookin for a damn handout.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am
so you want an award for being a grown-up?
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 am
Oh Snap
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
oooooo.
I mean, don’t talk like that to Luvvie.
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Folks: I am actually on the phone with a guy I tried to “date like a man”. Very intense convo.
Be careful what you do/who you try to be. At some point you have to face your ghosts/deal with the ish you dished out.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:00 am
Be careful what you do/who you try to be.
yup. being yourself is NOT overrated
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
“being yourself is NOT overrated”
Although it’s not slap your knee, laugh out loud comedy, this would make a great tee…
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:00 am
Umm I need u to get ur life rite. Whats w/ the V dot E dot crap??
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:02 am
The system is blocking my PG posts so I tried to sneak in.
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I love that you aliased yourself by spelling out the dots
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I was paying homage to GK.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
yeah I see you flirting …LOL
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 am
say word, V dot!
actions have consequences and we will all eventually have to be held accountable.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:08 am
Yeah. And I am realizing that I have a reputation for being an ‘ice princess’ or ‘disconnected’ when that is not who I am at all.
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shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 am
ive been called cold and heartless in the past….that couldnt be further from the truth
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:12 am
There are at least a couple of dudes on this planet who think I have a heart of ice.
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 am
we can start a club. *e-hug*
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
ummm, i’m gonna need ya’ll to start paying dues on all these clubs and sh*t. send em to contact@verysmartbrothas.com
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:32 am
Same here, V.E.G.
And I like it that way. Hmph.
puff Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 am
i feel you V i keep getting told by random a$$ bytches that i “intimidate men” – wtf? ish is so tired, if you can’t stand the heat, feel free not to come into the kitchen, but bear in mind you’re gonna miss out on all this good cooking. just cos i’m not one of those giggly thirsty a$$ bytches who be fawning all over a dude like he’s the last male on the planet…
i’m sorry, i’m a little salty tonight. certain women have been messing with me trying to get me down.
shatani Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 am
dont let those heffas get to you puff…you rock, dammit!
Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 am
Yeah. And I am realizing that I have a reputation for being an ‘ice princess’ or ‘disconnected’ when that is not who I am at all.
Yeah VEG.. the dude whose car I went all ballistic on and flooded the apartment said he never thought I cared that much..I was like what? ninja I co-signed on an apartment for your a$$! and the ex boyfriend I went round and round with that I left my friend on the couch for? same thing he said outside of s.e.x I acted as if I could care less. Meanwhile I was thinking I was walking around with my heart on my sleeve and telling myself I was giving to much away. I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:40 am
“I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……”
Great analogy.
Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:27 am
That WAS deep.
V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am
“I guess its like relationship anorexia.. In my mirror I looked fat as h.e.ll in the emotion department and cut down on it but shyt in real life I was thin as h.e.ll……”
LOVE that analogy!
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
lol!!&*^%$#!!
v dot e dot g dot.
i so luvs u and ur smart too. melikes. u so flatter me.
heh, heh, heh..
kiss urself.
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I’d rather kiss you
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:17 pm
kissing u is all that i been thinking of… Total
winks back @ the dot.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
*blushes* but not b/c she thinks that was cute.
It’s b/c her stomach is queasy.
She hates Total and that song.
*storms off*
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
vegetable “*storms off*”
yo its so cute when u do that. u need something in ur stomach. grab a hold of me if u need support. yeah like that. come on put ur head right here. see. dont it feel better. u know im a slowpoke.
squeezes something…
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
GK, this made me a little warm
“…And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman
And our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women….”
2Pac ..Keep Ya Head Up
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:59 am
I was wondering if someone would reference Pac on that one.
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southernabelle Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:01 am
it came to mind as soon as I read this post… to me this was a cold azz statement
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:59 am
“Oooooo child, things are gonna get easier…”
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V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:01 am
smh
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Boooooooo……
Poor example of using a rap lyric.
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I wouldn’t want a woman that dates like a man because that term usually has negative connotations associated with it. Men and women are different, but that doesn’t mean our differences can’t be used to augment a relationship.
Whatever woman I eventually marry, it won’t be because she has the same thought processes as myself, or likes all the things I do. It’ll be solely for the fact that we compliment one another and make each other better.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:42 am
“Whatever woman I eventually marry, it won’t be because she has the same thought processes as myself, or likes all the things I do. It’ll be solely for the fact that we compliment one another and make each other better.”
in a nutshell and sh*t
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Pretty much..
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I find this post quite interesting.
1. when we were talking about jumpoffs I forget what post it was most of the women (myself included) admitted to being able to s.e.x like a man and not have feeling attached. Most men admitted to wanting to meet a chick that was able to do it.
Now we are all looking at it in a different way. Is it because Champs called it out in this post ?or is it because we are identifying it as 2 different things. S.e.x vs. relationships.
I personally can admit to associating 1 night stands (I think that was the post I referred to earlier) and no strings attached s.e.x with manlike behavior. in fact in that discussion most men posting here agreed that they have done it and had women that got all caught up. So many women feel that because they have been able to have no strings attached s.e.x then they can identify with the role stereotypically associated with men. But when it comes to relationships most women (well I know I do) believe there is a difference in being.. just one of the guys and acting like the guy. Being just one of the guys typically signifies being cool, enjoying typical guy things like, sports, drinking, talking shyt, not tripping about phones and when and if he goes out etc I think this is good thing but when you add to this the other things like trying not to be the first to share our emotions, and willingly pretending we are okay with “no strings attached’ s.e.x when we all up and through love can be detrimental and over the years its gets harder and harder to tell the difference and the wall gets thicker and thicker and harder to let down.
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BigBuck Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 am
Hmm…..interesting point. But I think this is a little different than the previous discussion. Before it was just a bout S.E.X. but now it is about the relationship as a whole. Everyone wants a jump off that has no emotional ties. But nobody wants a girlfriend with that trait.
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:57 am
Or a wife………..
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:44 am
“Everyone wants a jump off that has no emotional ties. But nobody wants a girlfriend with that trait.”
this is not untrue.
**sorry for the double-speak. met with a few lawyers yesterday and their yoda-esque syntax rubbed off a bit**
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:05 am
yoda-esque syntax… ha!
from now on, all comments in yoda speak will be
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am
“from now on, all comments in yoda speak will be”
do that all day, i could.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
hey hey lemme tell u something right now. ur knot going to jump on Monk like this today. not if i got anything to do with it. …without consequences and repurcussions. …and tell ur lil friends too.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:58 am
You know how to find me.
Afraid of the Khan man, I am not.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
afraid of you, nor am I
fear is the path to the Dark Side
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Jump on me, someone did??
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Stir shyt up, Genuis Khan does.
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Yoda speak, I amore.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whooo!
im at the corner of 8th and molasses. attacks against the life of the crown prince are punishable by death lest any man be put to death that cannot confirm carrying out this edict.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Intimidate me with threats, you cannot.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Wonderful concludes:
“…, you cannot. [intimidate her with threats]
i dont have any designs on intimidation or threats. u decide if ur intimidated or threatened. somebody betta tell Lord Vader.
signed,
posthumous crimes
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I’ma Lord Vader you.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
come to an end, your reign soon will. and not short enough it was
Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
This is BY FAR, the nerdiest thread in VSB history.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
a hater, do not be
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Really loved it, I did.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Wait, that’s wrong.
love it so, I did.
There. Much better.
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Very nerdy. But c’mon…who doesn’t absolutely LOVE Yoda??
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Hater. Star Wars is the best shyt ever. Empire Strikes Back is my fav.
There are ups and downs to this concept. On the one hand there is an assumed lack of BS stemming from “Chick Logic”. On the other, if she likes everything I like, she will likely want to do those things with me ALL THE TIME! This is unacceptable because I like to do those things alone or with the real fellas. I don’t want to fight about who is going to play GTA4.
But really the whole idea of a woman dating like a man is just BS for a woman trying to say she is a cool chick. Or it is a behavior adopted as a defense mechanism because dating “like a woman” got them hurt a few times so they try to be more emotionally detached, which they think is what goes on with men. A woman can really only emulate the stereotype of a man when trying to date like one. The same way most feminine gay men are walking female stereotypes, with the exaggerated switch in their step and the “Oooh b!tch let me tell you” speech.
I like a real woman with “manish” tendencies, not one who is trying to actively be “like a man”. What if the ownership of the proverbial “pants” becomes an issue. Does a woman who thinks like a man try to actually be the man in the relationship?
There may be some investigation needed on these men that like to date “men with vaginas”. Sounds suspect to me.
I thought women who acted like men were called lesbians anyway.
Why are we wasting time on this when there are things like waist to a$$ ratios, and the importance of proper vaginal moisture levels to talk about? LOL!
And the King returns to his throne in the corner, happy to find that it is still as sticky and stained as it was when he left it. Thank you and good night.
Houston has a problem…….it’s me. And yes I am being a little random right now. I just had three rounds of the gotdamn and it’s 3:30 in the GOT damn morning so just read it and smile b!tches
I love you too. Peace!
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Shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 am
Big Buck.. you are amazing.. LMAO….
the importance of proper vaginal moisture levels to talk about?
this is important.. dont want to be waking around with inadequate moisture levels… that could cause mad chafing and uncomfortableness for all involved.. LMAO
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:36 am
If my sexy stopped moisturizing…I’d cry.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
That would make 2 of us.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
“There may be some investigation needed on these men that like to date “men with vaginas”. Sounds suspect to me.”
Leave it to you to point this out.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
“Why are we wasting time on this when there are things like waist to a$$ ratios, and the importance of proper vaginal moisture levels to talk about? LOL!”
you know by 1:15pm (eastern) the convo will segue that way anyway, lol
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
Why wait until 1:15pm??? We can start right now!!
Is there really a such thing as someone having dry womanly parts? This has to be a myth!
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
It can happen…but it’s when you’re older, like around menopause.
Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
THIS IS NOT A MYTH. A girl I used to talk to, before I even got the cutty, was telling me how she had a chronically dry stoche and that she always carried a bottle of KY Jelly. And she said it had nothing to do with how horned up she was or how good the s.e.x. was. That relationship/hook up/sex competition didnt last long…
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
its a part myth part science. If men really knew how to keep it moist, and not try and bang it out without the proper pre-heating activities, ky would be pixie dust.
this is another sexua#al aid rooted in male pleasure. So because he can’t heat the sauce well…he’ll just go ahead and throw it in the microwave on SUPER HIGH.
not fair.
yaya sisters unite.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 am
“So because he can’t heat the sauce well…he’ll just go ahead and throw it in the microwave on SUPER HIGH. ”
Love this…lol
Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am
Naw, she told me this. i didnt learn from experience. She carried the KY for her, to make it good for her. She said sumthin was wrong w/ the stoche. Whatever I was doin was working before and after her, so its gotta be her, I hope.
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:59 am
though the comeback girl has a point (ya ya !) i read an article in glamour or one of those random @ss magazines that talked about this happening to women before menopause. it’s not common though.
and though it may have worked before, some of ya’ll do like microwave lovin’. and that’s not cool.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:04 am
im not a se#x therapist though I play one on the internet sometimes (lol). While there are a few exceptions with sexual dysfunction..the mere act of toting the ky around (like doublemint chewing gum) like a numbing of the act of getting and being aroused. Which goes back to the mythical ky dust…se@x is not just a destination. Its not just where you go 10 mins later (adjust time appropriately LOL).
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:25 am
i hate to bring my wet blankets out..and they were all packed away for like 2 weeks…but alot of people are fyckin out of order too..i mean when you’ve got the jelly in your purse for the (just in case)..at that point do you really know what intimacy is and what its supposed to do and with whom it should be shared.
***im over here in the land of enchantment …so i had a few talks with God and what not*** LOL
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
“when you’ve got the jelly in your purse for the (just in case)..at that point do you really know what intimacy is”
one persons intimacy is another persons anal
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
“one persons intimacy is another persons anal”
this comment is so very disturbing …so much so it made my @zz hurt.
blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 am
strong with The Force Comeback Girl is…
Deviant Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_most_disturbing_conversation_ever.phtml#578
Just to give you a heads up, skip Part 1 and scroll down to “WARNING TO ALL GUYS”…
You’ve been warned.
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm
OMG….that was funny as hellz!! I truly LOL’d.
Try as I might, I could not imagine that conversation going down between a straight black guy and a gay black guy. SBG would’ve got all up in his feelings and it would’ve been A WRAP.
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:31 am
“Is there really a such thing as someone having dry womanly parts? This has to be a myth”
the ky family wouldn’t be billionaires if this wasn’t true
V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:53 am
I thought that was more for but.t. s3x or if you’ve got a marathon sack session going on.
Learn something new everyday.
The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:06 am
“but.t. s3x ”
i just cried.
KindredSmile Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:19 am
That’s just…awful.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
he smiles. ur smile is kindred yet connubial…
speak blessings to me.
shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I dont know about naturally but I can tell you that the Nova Ring after about a year will make you dry as the sahara.. I thought I had turned frigid.. was about to start s.e.x therapy and some more….LMAO uh suffice to say we rectified that situation quickly.. now my husband has accepted a lot but sahara and the BAC? thats to much to expect any man to deal with….
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
“now my husband has accepted a lot but sahara and the BAC? thats to much to expect any man to deal with….”
seriously, dude deserves a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody
***a prize for anyone who can tell me what movies that’s from***
V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Forgetting Sarah Marshall!!!!!
Where’s my prize??? I hope it comes on a platter!
The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg&feature=related
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Champ
I hate you… all I had to see was literally 2 seconds and I knew exactly what it was…..
LMAO!!
shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
seriously, dude deserves a medal, or a holiday or at least a cuddle from somebody
umm he gets more than cuddled and I mean can I get a shout out for taking the proper steps to checking it out and not assuming that it was his fault and that he was not doing something right? andI talked to him and kept him in the loop and worked to find ways to make those “drying” times beneficial to both of us…
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
*mental note not to try the nuva ring*
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Well, mighty dayum funny how the Nuva Ring folks didn’t mention all that “dryness” in that pretty little commercial of theirs! It plays 20 times a day and even has the nerve to be set near WATER! Ha!
They are so disrespectful.
Deviant Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 pm
That may have been a personal thing. I known chicks who’ve had the exact opposite experience.
Like going over the falls in a latex bucket.
genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Big Buck! Nuck then nicca…
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Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
i’ve never tried to date like a man. but women i know that have attempted to do this are emotionally unavailable, promiscuous, ‘down to earth’, and enjoy guy-friendly activities (i.e. sports, drinking beer, video games). the examples champ gave of being like samantha and ciara range quite a bit because there’s the man-eater vs. the tomboy. either way in each of these situations when women adopt these ‘man-like’ traits it’s always the negative male traits. but i think this goes back to what you said bb, stereotypes AND the fact that few women know anything else BUT the negative traits of men. the sad thing is when the questions were posed at the end of this topic all of my examples of ‘dating like a man’ were slightly negative and stereotypical. and i think it’s because when we (women) witness men dating, the reality is that many of them DO display emotional distance & invulnerability to their emotions. and it’s been argued and defended on this site that this is done to attract women and to create an illusion of uber-masculinity. so, you see they (the megan foxs of the world) learned it by watching you! (y’all men) (lol)
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
good comment and shit, miss p.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Buck, this is a slam dunk!! I totally endorse this comment.
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I also want to make it clear that I dont think its wrong if you identify the behavior that comes naturally to you as “acting like a man” I mean regardless of whether we like it or not there are traits that are definitely associated more with one gender or the other. The problem is when its not being true to who you are. if you are only looking for a friend with benefits at this stage in your life there is nothing at all wrong with that. Semantics be dayumed. But its when you are doing it because you are trying to prove you are what he wants, or prove to yourself that you can do it and its not really what you want thats when the problem comes in.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 am
thanks, its clear now and sh*t.
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shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Gee Thanks Champ.. I was extremely concerned that I wasnt.
Sarcasm.. it works both ways.
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Dating like a man is some bull boo armor that women try to wear. They use it to hide past hurts. And it’s a diaster waiting to happen. They are not being themselves, but someone they think will be more appealing and not average/ Who wants to date their homeboy? I mean that’s cool when you’re 16, but at 26 why are you still playing xbox all day? Maybe they belong together. And if it was a part of their personality to be ‘tomboyish’ there would be no need to announce it. The woman would simply say, I like to do x, y, and z and not assign gender roles. If I was a guy and my girl referred to herself as a hermaphrodite we’d be over. That just makes me nervous.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:33 am
“If I was a guy and my girl referred to herself as a hermaphrodite we’d be over”
Ewww. I agree.
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Ange someone likes being a woman and i gotta admit i like it. mmm
hug urself all snug and schnitz.
open
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Champ, you da man.
I was JUST having this conversation TODAY with a coworker who I dubbed DudeGirl. She is a very attractive sister who likes to do things that we men like to do. She also can get dressed up for the club and look good at it. She is in a LTR but has many friends, mostly male. For her, she is just open to trying anything and experiencing life, i.e., backpacking, hang gliding, etc., stuff associated with men and that “girly girl” women tend not to do, for fear of messing up their hair/makeup/nails, etc.
She told me all her girlfriends tend to want to do is either go to the club or go out to eat. “Boring”, she says.
She told me a story recently of when a group of couples went out to shoot pool, most of the women hung back and did not participate for whatever, while she had a ball playing 9 ball.
One thing I have noticed, however, is that women like this TEND to have fewer girlfriends and more men friends (segue over to your post about men and women NOT being able to be friends; she would totally disagree with you).
I asked her where can I find one just like her……………..
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 am
trust me. beware of the woman who says that she has nothing but male friends, and can’t really deal with women. they’re just as bad as the guy who knows absolutely nothing about any sport.
please, trust me
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:05 am
I know man, I know. I read your other post about this deadly group.
I think the sentiment is that these types of women are more compatible with males than females in social, non-hookup situations, doing activities that are more associated with men. But when they need to go to the club with their girls, or they want to eat out, they have females to do this with. I would say that their horizons are more open and that they try not to limit themselves to only a limited experience.
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temps Reply:
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
“just as bad as the guy who knows absolutely nothing about any sport”…this is so true there are plenty of men that dont know sports at at all.
And some of you women are learning from them…think your man knows sports? Stump him with this?
What call in football and b-ball uses the SAME hand motion?
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Wow…I really missed ya’ll caan’t stay away from VSB too long…
So I think we’re missing the point in the article…it’s not that Megan’s really a man or trying to be like one….it’s just that she’s giving her man room to be who he is. And all this comes from the fact that she is being who she is. It may be a different dynamic if her man was more into fine art and world history because she likes sports and video games…basically what you have is a beautiful woman who shares similar intrests with most of the male population and I don’t think sharing interests contitutes dating like a man. Again it’s been my experience that most men like you for who you present at day one so all a woman has to do is continue to be herself, a man on the other hand typically is viewed through the lense of possibility so the likelyhood of him just being able to freely be himself is limited by where his woman sees he could be…needless to say I think the reason thier engaged and their dynamic works is because they can be who they are. Just my two cents…
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 am
“Again it’s been my experience that most men like you for who you present at day one so all a woman has to do is continue to be herself, a man on the other hand typically is viewed through the lense of possibility so the likelyhood of him just being able to freely be himself is limited by where his woman sees he could be”
this is a great point. i think p touched on this a few months ago. men generally are attracted to the present while women are usually into potential.
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
“…basically what you have is a beautiful woman who shares similar intrests with most of the male population and I don’t think sharing interests contitutes dating like a man. ”
Well, I do agree with that. Some women, what you see is what you get. They are honest and put their cards on the table early. Those are the best, but they are few and far between.
Others, however, come across as sneaky or resistant to reveal what they are about early on, their likes/dislikes, their support of your activities, etc. It is like a game or something. And some women will try to act like what they think a guy wants or what they think it will take to snag him. It is only later that you find out she really does not like watching NASCAR with you or really hates that you play video games (because that takes away from the “we” time, or is childish, or…….). Then you get to thinking that she was just acting like that to get “inside the wire” with you.
Then, will try to change you……………………….
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm
“Others, however, come across as sneaky or resistant to reveal what they are about early on, their likes/dislikes, their support of your activities, etc. It is like a game or something. And some women will try to act like what they think a guy wants or what they think it will take to snag him. It is only later that you find out she really does not like watching NASCAR with you or really hates that you play video games (because that takes away from the “we” time, or is childish, or…….). Then you get to thinking that she was just acting like that to get “inside the wire” with you.
Then, will try to change you……………………….”
This is absolutely horrible behavior. Just terrible. Any woman behaving like this should be ashamed of herself.
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I think there are some good things that women can do like men and it’ll only help the relationship like loving sports, having a high libido, being adventurous or being in to 3somes with two women(just kidding, not really). But she can’t be parading around like I’m a dude with a vag, thats a little weird.
-JM
MrSwagger.com
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
“But she can’t be parading around like I’m a dude with a vag, thats a little weird.”
so basically, she can’t be sandra bernhart
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I haven’t read all the comments yet, but…
I think what people often forget is that folks, men and women, get sprung on folks that they really REALLY like. I don’t think men come across women that they really really like that often, while some women do, hence the perception/myth is born.
When someone really REALLY digs somebody? ‘dating like a man’ or woman or whatever flies out the window and everyone is sprung.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:02 am
‘I don’t think men come across women that they really really like that often, while some women do, hence the perception/myth is born.’
hmmm…interesting point. this actually sounds like a potential future topic
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Swamii Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:18 am
How does the “80% Rule” fit into this? Why would you get into a LTR, and STAY (hook ups/sprung don’t count) to someone you really REALLY do not like?
Enlighten me…………….
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ForReal Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:02 am
Don’t know about the 80% rule, but some people stay in LTRs where they don’t really care for the person becaues of Convenience and Stubborness.
Some people stay with people cause it’s easier than leaving, or cause they might as well have something to do until ‘the one’ comes along, or cause they think this is at good as it gets.
Some people stay cause they don’t want to face the fact that they got dyckmatized/whipped in the beginning and that’s all the relationship really was about, so they try to make the relationship something deeper than it is so they don’t have to feel wrong/stupid/foolish/hoish.
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shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Why would you get into a LTR, and STAY (hook ups/sprung don’t count) to someone you really REALLY do not like?
because you can love someone that you dont really like…
maybe that person has changed since you got with them, maybe you have changed but forever reason you are emotionally attached and you have strong feelings/love for this person but you realize that they are really an a$$hole. This also happens when you date people and base relationship on s.e.x/romance and not friendship.
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:24 am
“I don’t think men come across women that they really really like that often, while some women do, hence the perception/myth is born.”
I agree with this! Guys have an idea of who they want to be with. Sometimes they may not be able to truly verbalize it, but when they find her, they know she’s the one that he’s been looking for. Another woman may possess the traits that he likes, but at the same time, he still doesn’t like her LIKE THAT. Instead he’s with her until “the one” comes along.
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ForReal Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:06 am
Exactly. Guys don’t tend to settle or stray far from their vision of what they want while lots of women are very quick to (well, that ONE tooth he does have IS really white and straight…a mouthful of teeth is overrated anyway).
Feelings get hurt when guys make their placeholder feel like ‘the one’ (or she makes herself feel that way) and she gets a rude awakening one day when the chick he REALLY wants comes along…
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
“Feelings get hurt when guys make their placeholder feel like ‘the one’ (or she makes herself feel that way) and she gets a rude awakening one day when the chick he REALLY wants comes along…”
close-busing at its finest
ForReal Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
i vaguely remember you mentioning close-busing…I gotta go back and do some research
shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Exactly. Guys don’t tend to settle or stray far from their vision of what they want while lots of women are very quick to (well, that ONE tooth he does have IS really white and straight…a mouthful of teeth is overrated anyway).
I agree and disagree
Most men I know have dated a wide variety of women.. they might all share 1 trait like big butts or big boobs or similar skin tone but aside from that they run the gamut of personalities and overall appearance. for most men I know it depends more on what they want than who they want. For instanceif he is not ready to settle down.. it really dosent matter what traits the girl has if he is not ready. When he is looking for girl he will find one that he finds appeasing and MAKE her the one….if it dosent work out thats one thing but i think the idea of waiting on “The one” is a decidedly feminine one..
ForReal Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I see what you are saying and tend to agree..most men would never admit to waiting for ‘the one’ and never ever use that terminology. But when dating a variety of women, a lot of times they know going in that it’s not going to be a long term thing so they can go all across the board and they want the variety. But when it’s time to wife somebody, it likely won’t be that homely chick with the nice personality that loves him to death (unless that’s what he wanted all along)
To me, dating like a man means to have fun with it and date multiple people without feeling “attached” to any one in particular.
Some women use this as an excuse and think that slutting men out is “acting like a man.”
Hell, I’ve tried to do it myself a couple of times… to “get back” at a man. Fact is, they are winning because 9 times out of 10, all he wanted was between my thighs anyway.
When “acting like a man” is not your normal personality traits, you are the only one that will end up hurt.
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Raqi Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:46 am
LOL because usually those men that are okay with you dating like a man feel you are doing them a favor by doing so. A woman that thinks she is slutting men out is only slutting herself and her self-respect.
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Not the Nastradamous!!!! Worst. album. lol
What exactly is dating like a man?
Treating it like a sport, going for quantity instead of quality.
Emulating? Sometimes it can be a good thing, just throwing caution to wind, getting out there and dating/sleeping with anyone you want to, but in the end, there is always that nasty double standard that you have to contend with. Some ladies care about these types of things, others don’t.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:05 am
i think someone (or we) should come up with a list of “worst art made by otherwise good artists”.
nastradamous would be there, as well as “she hate me” and “best of both worlds”
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:20 am
You can now add Paper Trail to that list as well. *ducking tomatoes* , the “W” and “The Big Doe Rehab”
I’m gonna think long and hard (::snicker::) on this one, and email ya some suggestions…
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 am
Oh I’m DEFINITELY throwing tomatoes.
**running after T-Lee throwing as hard as I can…..but I won’t get too close….I don’t want a throat punch.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:34 am
Not his best work V…I’m sorry.
It’s okay, I’ve been fighting people all week…I got a moldy watermelon that’s ready to go.
Bring it!!!
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
yeah. youre wrong about Paper Trail. it aint classic or anything but its a good album save a few horrendous ass tracks.
plus, it has the song, “what up, whats happenin’” on it which is great. then again, i’m homesick and any song that shouts out neighborhoods on the west side of atlanta makes me shed a tattooed tear.
“cedar ave, center hill that’s where i be sucka”
*shedding a tear*
but yes the “W” had tremendous gas.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
So he gets a pass for nostalgic purposes? I’ll let you make it on that one.
It had a few decent cuts “I’m Illy” & “On Top of the World”and a few others…but that Rihanna joint? Throw that mf out the window…lol I was skipping over more than I was jamming and that automatically ticks me off.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:22 am
Agreed.
V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:35 am
I like all of the songs but the Rhianna joint, and P.0rn star was blah. Other than those, the rest get a gold star from me.
shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Say it aint so T-Lee..paper trail aint the best but I like it and plays it on the regular. There are few joints that are pretty WTF but for the most part it is a good CD….but as far as wack cds can we add This last Usher joint? The Jeezy joint after Thug Motivation 101 was bab too and the destiny childs survivor joint.. I hated that CD put on a happy face? Bytch please but Destiny fulfilled was my shyt!!!
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I agree with Usher “Here I Stand” it’s hard to follow up the banger that was Confessions.
IDK about Destiny’s Child, I don’t own any of their cd’s except Destiny Fulfilled and someone left that in my car.
I stand by my earlier Paper Trail comment…lol
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
The only Paper Trail I’ve connected myself to is a song by The Kidsz In The Hall. I love that song.
temps Reply:
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I disagree on Paper Trial and Big Doe. As for PT I guess ppl want TIP to still ryhme like he did on Trap Muzik problem is that was 5 yrs ago and he was not the Man he is now. That urgency an MC has is gone once he makes it to the top .
I like to see MC’s grow…son you been around the world thrice-I dont wanna here about buying drinks in the club as The Point of the song…as for Big Doe I am surprised anyone still listens to Ghost enough to honestly asses his style of rappin.
The album was good. ThePrayer, the Benie Seigal Joint, the joint afta that with Meth is good. Rec Room Thearpy is a banger, We Celebrate and I’ll die for You are good joints too and the Chrissite Michelle joint is tight. Ghost and the Wu never made chick- friendly-club banger rap…go listen again to Enter The Wu-whats the club banger? Maybe Method Man but thats about it. In this “every track gotta be a dance track or ringtone” (or worse “it has to sound good in my car” bull$hit) era of rap The Wu style doesnt fit. So thank God for Ghost and Tip (he actually ryhmes with humility at times) I need them in an era where no creativity is the new gimmmick.
Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Kingdom Come…. *walks away*
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Good 1. I completely forgot to mention that…*jots down for my list.
The only women I know that make that statement have been deeply hurt. And IMO they think they are getting revenge (Not) or something by trying to deal with a man in a manly way.
And anyway real men like their woman all gushy and mushy, inside and out. While most will probably never openly admit it I believe they like having us make a big fuss over them. Men don’t do that.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:45 am
“And anyway real men like their woman all gushy and mushy, inside and out. While most will probably never openly admit it I believe they like having us make a big fuss over them. Men don’t do that”
I agree.
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:54 am
I concur, Raqi.
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I like womenly women.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:06 am
lol…me too, monk. me too
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:17 am
And I like Manly Men… nothing is worse than finding out your man is a real B!TCH
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
Nothing will turn me off quicker.
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Even the slightest hint of b!tchness in a dude will have my little self thinking I could probably kick his a$$ if I had to. For me that’s NEVER a relationship plus.
Manly men for me, please and thank you.
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Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 am
I like womenly women who feel they cant beat me in Halo or NCAA Football. And when they begin to lose they start to cheat by using their womanly powers…..
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
This is great…ctfu
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:16 am
I like using my womanly powers.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am
yup
Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I like when you use them….
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
*winks*
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:57 pm
We know.
::snicker::
PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I love my womanly powers. Mine make me tingle.
teeeheee!
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Him 2…
tee hee!
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
You been doing a lot of sniggling today, unofficial e-twin…
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
It’s that soon to be 10 months kickin’ in…ctfu.
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Shooot, only 10?
Yeah…I said only.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm
It feels like 39….
I see ya on that “only”.
I’m a whiner, let me whine…lol
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Girl, whine away.
I just sob now.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
All day I have felt like I ma late to the @rgy, I meant party…
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Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Dont worry, I’ll catch you up
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
will you now?
My assumption of dating like a man would be that as a female, you date without becoming overly attached to one particular person. Personally, I don’t feel as if anything is wrong with this. I don’t think she was saying, if she met somebody special, she would still keep her distance. I believe it’s more of a until I meet somebody, “I’m going to enjoy life” type of thing.
I don’t believe some people try to emulate men. For instance, I’m an only child raised around 20 guys to 1 female cousin ratio and I have been told that I date like a ninja before. I’m not trying to act like a guy but I don’t see the point in meeting someone and pinning all your hopes and dreams on someone that is probably not ready to settle down.
Now if you purposely trying to act like a man because one (or more) males have done you wrong, then yeah that’s a Frannie Mae waiting to happen.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:08 am
“I don’t believe some people try to emulate men”
never?
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Raqi Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:13 am
The problem is women are not wired like that. There are circumstances in life that can beat the emotions out of you, but on a normal day…nah we will get got.
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Tay Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I didn’t say ever. I just meant in general.
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heeeeeeeeey ya’ll! it’s ME! GOODENess aka Goodie aka “gotd@mn” (although I thougt that las one was underground, lol) I miss u guys!
ok…first let me say I am mad salty that BigBuck is getting “gotd@mn” at least 3 times a day and I’m not involved…green with envy on that sh1t!
I am guilty of saying, and saying, I am like a man in many regards, but it’s been my experience that its only said as a neat little box to pput my awesome-ness in! I abhor chick logic, so I use good sense and sh1t, I don’t trip on ignit sh1t, I dontt nag or whine, I’m thoughtful, I am genuine & honest (even if it isntt the sweet sugary kind), and I enjoy s3x on a level that most would attribute to a man…but rest assured…I am 100% WOMAN! I think because it takes me a little longer than most for me to allow my emotions to get involved, I have been called that…and that is a defense mechanism because when I do love someone, its th sh1t love songs are writn about, and if it doesnt work out, it takes strength to bounce back from…plus, I love sex! and if we don’t connect before we “connect” I usually lose interest and part company with that “come”pany, which is something Im working on… but those that know me…KNOW ME…Goodie is GOOD!! gotd@mn even!
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am
Good to see ya back girlie!!!
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:44 am
Yeah! You’re back!
““come”pany” – HA!
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:05 am
GOODE!!! I’ve missed ur life SO!!! The Co’NAH will be hosting a potluck to welcome Goode back. What yall bringing??
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:12 am
welcome back and sh*t. luvvie has missed your guidance, and big buck has missed your, ummmm, nevermind
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:30 am
Whoop Whoop!!
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Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
GOODIE!!! e-kisses & hugs! mwah!
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Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
“ok…first let me say I am mad salty that BigBuck is getting “gotd@mn” at least 3 times a day and I’m not involved…green with envy on that sh1t!”
mmm hmmm…let you tell it. interesting how BB just moved to Texas and both y’all disappeared from vsb at the same time and returned to vsb at the same time. i don’t miss a thang ’round here. i’m observant like that. i smell a 1st time vsb hook up. (hee hee, i’m just playin’…still luv me?)
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Miss P just pointed at the elephant in the room
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BigBuck Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Speak it into existence! LOL!
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
***raised eyebrow***
women who date like men end up getting hurt like women.
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 am
wow. that was profound and $hit, like for real
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:31 am
So true.
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Tay Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I might have to steal this for a quote
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Wow…that was hella deep n’ shyt. Profound, even.
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Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Very Profound!!
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The dating like men (definition of taking of the worst qualities) for women works for some women, hey Nastradamus sucked but still went platinum…
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:15 am
“hey Nastradamus sucked but still went platinum…”
that was during the golden years of hip-hop when everyone went platinum.
if it was released today it might sell 17,000 copies
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 am
It would definitely do Solange type numbers.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:09 am
lol. wow. i actually liked her album.
yeah, i said it. i ain’t scared of you m@thaf@ckers! *RIP Bernie Mack*
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:20 am
I applaud you. I liked “I Decided” but I couldn’t get with her after that…
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:33 am
yeah…a few of them took a few listens. i can put it in and let it play if i’m not paying attention but i actually enjoy about 3/4 of it.
i did, however, make sure to take advantage of that free listening session on her website before i got it though. lol.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I think that’s what most people did, hence her sales numbers. lol
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
you’re probably right. lol.
i will happily stand alone.
Monk Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Solange’s CD = Best R&B CD released this year!!
I stand by this.
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I know you do, I read your blog about it…lol
SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:58 pm
*hugs monk*
SouthernCharm Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:09 am
sort of like robin thicke’s new album. i’m looking to download other albums for free and i’m like, “robin thicke’s got a new album?!” lol
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:20 am
So much for his promotion…lol
Tay Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Robin Thicke has a new album?
Wow. I haven’t heard a single, a commercial, nothing…
The last album was pretty good though.
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
he was on Good Morning America yesterday
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
The album dropped on 9/30 is what I’m finding…I’m not a huge fan, but dayum– his own fans didn’t know a new one was out…fail to his record company…lol
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
even so #3 on the R&B charts, #2 went to Jennifer Hudson, I can’t remember who was #1
Panama Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:54 am
yeah, the Nastradamus platinum thing doesn’t take into account that even artists like the Luniz went platinum…
no really, they did. Operation Stackola…platinum album.
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:04 am
It was offa that one song…you know which one…lol
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
…and I abhor “that song”, Nas really did owe me after that ish…
Good thing I’m a man.
1 million years being ranked at #1 and counting.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:06 am
LOL dang it, Dorian!!
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:33 am
Let me bring you back down to earth Darling Dorian, you are a BLACK man, not so much #1
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:35 am
ouch.
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Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 am
Low blow…….
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Hi
Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
you dirty bunny.
KindredSmile Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
**clutches pearls** Oh my stars!
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:20 pm
**clutches pearls** I love saying this…
8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:20 am
“1 million years being ranked at #1 and counting.”
What a Dorian thing to say….
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Dorian men are #1. its good u know it and don’t mind saying it.
#1.
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@Southern Charm…that is the realist sh1t typed…(slow clap)
I have been told I date, mate, and m@sterbate like a man, but I am still a woman. I have been disappointed, hurt etc, but we all have…and this entire debate is operating under the incorrect assumption that men don’t invest as much as we do into a relationship from the beginning, and that just ain’t right! I take a more logical, rational approach to dating etc and since society often dictates that women are the more emotional (and therefore less rational) s3x, doesn’t that mean that an initial “head over heart” approach to romantic engagement is, by definiton of default, inherently masculine?
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Goody sup mami?
“I have been told I date, mate, and m@sterbate like a man”
oh yeah. explain to me how u do the aforequoted things like a man? especially that mating and m@sterbating thing. draw me some pictures with words.
urs truly,
papi chulo
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I did the “dating like a man” thing at one point. I had been hurt to the bone and just said man, eff this, I’m going for it.
I would walk away from guys mid-sentence, tell them I’d call and never did, talk to one then cross the room and holla at another, etc.
It was fun while it lasted, but eventually I stopped being so damn angry and got the hell over it. Wouldn’t do it again either.
What’s sad is when women get so stuck in this, that they can never recover again. Being angry and then emulating the things the opposite sex did to hurt you just to hurt someone else is never a good look. I’m good being the cuddly, sweet, tender, smart comment-making asshole 8th Wonder that everyone knows and loves.
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Dorian G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 am
I don’t love
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 am
Oh, you love.
And don’t make me tell you again.
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I don’t like to speak unless I have something to add to the discourse, but since most of the comments have been in the similar vein, I’m gonna co-sign and call BOVINE EXCRIMENT on this dating like a man crap.
Women need to embrace their inner goddess/diva/queen and just be WOMEN. That’s why (straight) men like us…
We are beguiling, enigmatic, nurturing, strong yet vulnerable
We have the ability to set the world afire with a smile
We can raise babies and get raises at the plantation
We can can kick it with the fellas and be a s3x goddess all at once
We can be rowdy when its called for yet demure when necessary
Being a creature of emotion is NOT a weakness… a woman who is claiming her queendom can have them, acknowledge them and not be controlled by them
Damnit, love alladat and MORE about being a WOMAN.
okay… I’m done
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SouthernCharm Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 am
exactly… what she said. grow a cl!t about ya’selves!
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
i love women too
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
That’s so awesome of you to say, Ms. BB!
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Champ asks:
“how exactly would a woman go about doing this and, is purposely emulating the traits of another gender a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen?”
…implies that a woman could “go about” and “emulate the traits of another gender…”
khancordance.
quoting Megs:
“The upside of dating a woman who’s almost a man,” she says. “She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!”
Said what?
“The upside of dating a woman who’s almost a man,” [is] She likes the same things that you like, but she has a vagina!”
When a man hears this, it’s that bullsh*t 99.99999999997% of the times.
in these times, well at least to me… disingenuous. plastic. not that some women don’t authentically like sports for example but whether a woman likes sports or shares similar social interest that are common to men; men and women more seldom like things in the same way. where something falls on her priority list etc. etc will usually share some common uniquely female characteristics, not just biological 1’s.
the way men and women approach things their tolerances for, priorities, views dispositions etc. will usually have more commonalities amongst the same gender. so not only does biological determine gender as it were but also intangibles like mindset, predispositions, essence, etc. there are non biological, distinguishable and indistinguishable contrast betwinxt male and female as well.
there is a pattern of collective character, behavioral, emotional, temperamental, mental disposition of both male and female intangible traits that deliver a very real result in our conscious world. [ wheter “natural” or “conditioned”]
i don’t have a sexual appetite for a man in psyche, essence, mind, disposition etc. but has the physical and biological features of a beautiful woman. that’s me. do u. there are a few areas where i’d wish that male and female shared more similar approaches and mindsets but plenty i wouldn’t want to be similar.
Megz said:
“If my mom were to tell me that I’d been born with male and female genitalia and that she had to make a choice, I would believe her).
some people are hermaphrodites. (sup lil cease jr. mafia, I see ya) my thinking is that if ur born having both genetalia and someone decides to “sew it up or cut it off” SUCO they have at worst a 50/50 chance of matching the gender to the [intangibles] mind, essence, disposition and nature of that person. Yeah that says that I believe nature plays a big part. (more than many people can be comfortable with) nature also creates some very unique & interesting things and adapts in some very creative ways. We are not all or always familiar with the laws of nature so when nature renders its results it can seem like fate, luck, and phenomena to us. even so some can’t see how 2 acknowledge or understand nature’s intelligent design. Many who have an understanding of natural laws have no effectuate desire to will it so and some simply have not mastered wielding the sword no matter the reason.
o’biden mcpalin
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:30 am
some people are hermaphrodites. (sup lil cease jr. mafia, I see ya)
Lil Kim is that you?
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genius khan Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
Baby Baaby…
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Oh, how I LOVE The Khan’s comment here. It speaks to my heart.
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
“o’biden mcpalin”
This sounds like the name of a leprechaun. The one that was in the tree that time…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zkw_mru-hU
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I don’t feel like reading 282 comments, sooo…..
The chicks who date like men are “sexually liberal”. They got a list of bootycalls and actually think they’re using dudes for the D. This trait can be quite undesireable…
However, a love of sports, videogames, meat (pause), and other manly things including the assembly of furniture is great. Actually, it’s exquisite.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
“This trait can be quite undesireable…”
lol..,”quite” is one of those words that always adds an extra touch of class to a sentence. seriously, if you approach a woman and say “damn, your ass is quite fat. come here” instead of just “your ass is fat. come here”, you’ll probably get the digits
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Champ…you stupid.
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
No, he is quite stupid… see how dignified that sounds…
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
“lol..,”quite” is one of those words that always adds an extra touch of class to a sentence. seriously, if you approach a woman and say “damn, your ass is quite fat”
WTF? I’m cracking up… I’ll try that….
Sir, can you stop grinding on my butt.. I know it’s a dance floor and all, but your meat is quite small.
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Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:27 pm
So the big meated individuals can grind on ur butt?
miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Always.
Nicki Sunshine Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Oh hells yes.
If there were no double standards I’d relish in dating like a man. I guess dating like a penis bearer would mean having your pick of the litter. There are more women that are willing to do TOO much stuff to get and keep a dude…not that there is anything wrong with that. I know dudes that can break up with a girl today and not a skallywag girl but a Good one and turn around next week and have another GOOD girl on his arm. It’s not right but I’ve accepted that men just have it too easy in the relationship dept. If they can get past the “talking” phase and make it to the relationship phase then they might make for a decent individual… In nature men are supposed to be the chasers but in the human world women are chasing men like they are going out of style. Ok that’s it I talked (typed) too much once again.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“I know dudes that can break up with a girl today and not a skallywag girl but a Good one and turn around next week and have another GOOD girl on his arm”
this depends on how you define “good”
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Miss Cocoa Luv Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I guess “Good” can be interpreted in many ways. The term has been used loosely and sometimes the skallywags get thrown into the good definition. But what I mean is she has her ish together. Job, educated, no kids, has her own spot, faithful, gives good head, maybe swallows (joking…a lil bitt). Not very crazy. lol. Doesn’t belittle the man, doesn’t back down…etc. I could go on, but I won’t. What would you define as good?
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Miss Patterson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
this depends on how you define “good”
Champ, let’s use your definition: “the “wifey”/”girl next door” type of women: educated, practical, super loyal, and somewhat clingy with a super high libido…basically the characters regina king and nia long play in every movie.”
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what exactly is “dating like a man”?
dating with no strings attached.
how exactly would a woman go about doing this?
by dating with no strings attached and no expectation of a relationship after sex.
and, is purposely emulating the traits of another gender a good thing or a disaster waiting to happen?
only if the woman is being true to herself. if she’s doing it as a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt then it’s a disaster waiting to happen. because while she’s emulating him, he thinks she’s just a cool a$$ jumpoff when in fact she’s really suffering inside and waiting for him to reciprocate with some time of emotion. which i think is the case in 99.9% of all female jump-offs. i know very few women who are content with just being some dude’s on-demand p*ssy and nothing else. and the fact that there are men out there who are cool with having on demand p*ssy disturbs me. yeah, i said it.
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Slim Jackson Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Despite my chromosome make up, I’m with you…up until you say you are appalled by guys enjoying on-demand bunz. It’s only appalling if she has low self-esteem…
jk?
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shay-d-lady Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I totally agree except for the disturbing part.. its only disturbing to me if thats all he’s done and all he ever wants to do.. everyone wants a break everyonce and a while…but overall
to quote Mr. Champ….
in a nutshell and sh*t…
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Forget the dating like a man what about women who actively CHASE men and then want to flip the script and play “now you chase me”. There are chicks who try and switch lanes everyday all day. And to me it just can’t be done.
People (particularly women) have forgotten how to “affectively” (yes affectively) play their position …there is a way to chase a man and make him feel as though he’s done all the work and activated the pursuit. Any other way is cause for disaster and a very soft man who likes to be chased.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:41 pm
TELL IT!!!
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
That’s true with the changing lanes, you gotta be one or the other. The “dating like a man” women are the same ones that say they don’t need definitions or titles, but cry on the inside (eventually) at the fact they are not the girlfriend/woman/main squeeze , and those that don’t feel that way at some point of their dealings are unicorns (le sigh… unicorns made their appearance just for Comeback Girl… lol)
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
claps **unicorns !! unicorns!!** they are so enchanting.
its true…I know all us women are the exceptions on here. But i grew up around tons of men in my family..who had women ringing every phone in a 10 mile radius to find them (who just weren’t that interested) including those pop bys.. These chicks were BOLD.
but when they came around they were so sweet and shy. it really is one or the other. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a masculine relationship woman…she just can’t get brand new on a feminine negro that she chased and won…talkin bout..”woo me”…thats not his job!!! you got the dyck.
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
“And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a masculine relationship woman…she just can’t get brand new on a feminine negro that she chased and won…talkin bout..”woo me”…thats not his job!!! you got the dyck.”
This is truth.
V.E.G. Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I think I saw a midget albino clown riding your unicorn…
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V Renee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
This just made me choke. LMBAO
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
V.E.G you know here I am trying to read posts where people are dropping science like it’s Bristol Palin’s drawels and you pipe in some ridiculousness making me spit out my beet juice… I love it!
Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
ditto like a mug.
Peyso Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Y ru drinking beet juice?
Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
iron… I donate blood every 8 weeks, last week when I donated they told me it was good but that I should get my iron checked.
see… it’s sort of like the economy. women (banks) lend (give the poon) to nigras (sub prime nigras is what i call ‘em) in the spirit of, “fun” (housing boom), but who really have no business getting it in the first place. then you find out they can’t pay what you’re actually worth (foreclosure) and expect the gubment (good men) to save you. well… i, for one, am against this bailout!!!!
quit short-selling the p*$$y!
*this is the kind of random rant that afternoon coffee brings
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Intellectual Hedonist Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
See were Southern Charm allowed on the House floor to explain it like this I don’t think a Senator or Congressperson would vote for this tomfoolery.
Southern Charm for Senate!!!!
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miss t-lee Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
This was a great analogy Southern Charm.
Cheers.
I have to find some way to use “subprime nigras” this week.
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The Champ Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
see… it’s sort of like the economy. women (banks) lend (give the poon) to nigras (sub prime nigras is what i call ‘em) in the spirit of, “fun” (housing boom), but who really have no business getting it in the first place. then you find out they can’t pay what you’re actually worth (foreclosure) and expect the gubment (good men) to save you.
not only is this the best comment ive ever read, reading this might have been the best thing to ever happen to me in my life.
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Jen Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
*throws dollar bill at SouthernCharm*
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
that is brilliant. even the U-corns clapped on that one.
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:04 pm
SouthernCharm’s comment was quite magnificent.
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Luvvie Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
*Slow clap for SouthernCharm*
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Naturally Alise Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
not the 80’s movie slow clap in the auditorium!
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blackberry molasses Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
strong with The Force, SouthernCharm is
*i am committed to this Yoda-speak thing*
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8th Wonder Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Committed to Yoda-speak, you should be….
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The Comeback Girl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:10 pm
“quit short-selling the p*$$y! ”
lol..wow. earth moving. and true.
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SouthernGirl Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:39 pm
from one southerner to another…i heart you. even though i almost choked on my goldfish just now…
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temps Reply:
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Yea good one-side note…I’m glad jpmorganchase got ghetto a$$ Wamu (hate them they are like palm trees…no branches)
But Lehman Bros thats is the kicker…They are like the Good Black Woman sexing them dudes that she shouldnt even talk to and only does it cause she can afford to.
Like LeeBros she’s been caking dough for a loooong time …so if she wanna bring no good men into her life she is going to do just that . But then she borrows against too many “if’s” and then she is asking her friends and fam (gov’t and txpayers) for a lil extra cash and they like “dont you make like 65k and you got no kids?”
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“this idea itself explicitly states that there are distinct differences in the thought processes, dating, and mating patterns between each gender (which i believe) and also not so subtly implies that men do it better.”
I think that men and women are a lot more alike than society considers and a lot of so-called masculine / feminine behavior is due to how males and females are socialized. I don’t think that we’re the same (at all) but certain characterics in people are considered to be decidedly male and are celebrated so when a female displays these particular tendencies she may proclaim for herself that she is doing something “like a male”. Males dominate culture in so many ways because of the demonization of the feminine in culture so when a female is proclaiming to do anything like a male she may just be taping into something that was already in herself but needed a label for it. Or she wants to behave in a way that she feels is empowering (because whats feminine isn’t valued in the sick culture in which we live) so she’ll proclaim to do things in a hypermasculine way to feel more powerful. It’ s a twisted form of self hate. The only way for male/female relationships to regain any balance and get right is for the female principle to be empowered and valued. We live in an insane sick world. Why are men so scared of women is a good question
?
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PBG Reply:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:22 pm
“The only way for male/female relationships to regain any balance and get right is for the female principle to be empowered and valued.”
And not only by men but by women themselves!!
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Amen
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That picture don’t do her justice. She’s so damn beautiful what she says and how she acts don’t matter to a whole lot of men. Bet she was frontin as part of PR stunt.
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