****before we get started today, we want to thank everybody for their patronage and support, allowing us to win the 2009 black web award for best blog in the history of the universe. riley, springer, and the warthogs are partying in their graves as we speak.
all invites to the celebratory vsb.com bbq will be handled by vsb.com regular big buck…
…who wants us to remind everyone that the first 25 panty-less ladies to rsvp will get a complimentary lapdance from panama free drink of their choice, as well as a link of swine.****
the vsb.com email box gets tons of questions per week, dealing with topics varying from how much should money matter to the do’s and donts of boning a boss, but no subjectinvokes as much mail as the whos, whens, wheres, and whats of courting and dating.
cosmopolitan magazine attempts to tackle this issue with their 17 essential first date tips, a surprisingly thorough guide on the do’s and don’t of a first date. sample tips:
6. A man who makes every conversation lewd from the get-go isn’t trying to seduce you, he’s trying to shock you. Don’t take the bait. Your job isn’t to prove to him that you can be one of the guys; it’s his job to be a gentleman.
7.Any time a friend offers to set you up, make sure to ask her what she thinks you have in common with the guy — besides that you’re both single.
8. Heads up: If he spends even part of the evening responding to work emails on his crackberry, he probably wouldn’t make the most attentive boyfriend.
although this particular article is geared towards women and deals primarily with first dates, it addresses a concern relevant to all single people. even though i dont believe that people should carry around concretized dating rulebooks in their heads, complete with hawking-esque equations equating pi to the perfect ass-to-waist ratio and complex formulas detailing the minimum number of prepositional phrases a man must incorporate per paragraph if he wants a chance to beat both you and your roommate later that night, it doesnt hurt to have a few salient points to always consider. dating is an art, not a science, but it still helps to know where the margins are and when to put your wang on a cheek and scream “yahtzee”!!! break out your dry erase markers
so, people of vsb.com, to help us all navigate through the mucky lagoon between the 8th wonder’s legs of meeting, greeting, and courting, what dating do’s and dont’s would you offer for men and women alike?
—the champ
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{ 487 comments… read them below or add one }
Congrats VSB!
thanks and sh*t
“between the 8th wonder’s legs”
ooooohhhhhh….i cannot wait to see what erupts from this. lol.
determined to get some sleep tonight and my computer is giving me more attitude than mccain supporters so i’ll be back in the morn.
“between the 8th wonder’s legs”
ooooohhhhhh….i cannot wait to see what erupts from this. lol.
GROSSS!!!!
“GROSSS!!!!
ok, that is soooooooo NOT what I meant.lol. let me try again…..i cannot wait to see 8th’s response and what madness will ensue thereafter.that is all.
i’m really going to bed now…
erupts
::snickering::
That’s definately a show I’d watch. So long as it ain’t some kinda alien baby.
“between the 8th wonder’s legs”
the fall out from this right here is going to be GOOD
I know 8th won’t disappoint
she aint got nothin for me. except, of course, the lagoon
I will comment properly once I stop batting my almond-shaped eyes and flashing my exceptionally fortunate teeth @ the picture of Big Buck.
lol@ “fortunate teeth”
Big Buck is adorable.
Isn’t he though…I like teddy bears lol!
Yep.
**co-signs vehemently**
me too! i gotta calm my hugging reflex!
truth.
indeed… he reminds me of my boo- bear…
“indeed… he reminds me of my boo- bear…”
See I’m not alone…lol
(see my comment downthread)
Indeed… but at the risk of angering The GOODE One (and possibly sounding over-secked) the question is, can he put it DOWN like my boo-bear.
The Phillies are going to the World Series and he was VERY HAPPY last night… so consequently, so was I.
There is only one way to find out……
oh now YOU trying to get cut…lol…
looks like I chose my random weekly appearance right on time…
*arms crossed, giving side eye*
PBG (and the rest of ya’ll) don’t get cut up in here!
Random huh?! Hmmm…
WB missy.
Random huh?! Hmmm…
WB missy.
***inserting more people for goodeness***
shuddufuggup both of you…lol…it WAS random…but the corner is a race of it’s own…we got ESPN and sh1t…lol…
oh, and congrats! *glitter, gold stars and confetti*
See, Mr. Champs? VSB loves the glitter! It makes everything better. Your congrats are enhanced 79% by adding glitter.
[shooting star] glitter,unicorn, griffin, pegasus[/shooting star]
only thing missing now is someone who can shyt out sunshine and rainbows.
CG glad to see you back chick.
thanks Ms. T
i was missed? shams, quilts and all?
i been busy with the laundry
Yep…even with the blankets!!!
your wet blankets are surprisingly fragrant, so they are welcome!
hugs ms t and shatani..enveloping them in my dust ruffle.
Did somebody call for Sunshine’s shyt? LOL
yeah we need you too poop it out.
i got 5 on dat @zz.
LMAO! Not 5 on it!
what ??? you want me ta drop coins on it. 5 is all i got right now.
“only thing missing now is someone who can shyt out sunshine and rainbows.”
this sounds like a symptom of a unicorn std
lmao…
“only thing missing now is someone who can shyt out sunshine and rainbows.”
this sounds like a symptom of a unicorn std
This is the funniest shyt I’ve read all week.
don’t become a stalker. plain and simple. don’t call 1,837 times in a row and leave just as many vmails before the other person has a chance to call you back. don’t follow up those calls with texts saying “where are you?” or “why haven’t you called me back?” or “i miss you, i really want to talk to you.” don’t press the next date or make the person feel guilty for being busy (read: having a life).
if destiny’s illegitimate kids taught you nothin else it was to not be a bug-a-boo. it’s never a good look . unless the person you are tryin to court has schizo-affective disorder. in which case dealing with you is likely easier than the voices in their heads.
“don’t call 1,837 times in a row and leave just as many vmails before the other person has a chance to call you back”
Don’t ever leave me voicemail messages. I never check them. I only respond to texts now. And they’d better have smiley faces on them.
if some one calls me and doesn’t leave a vmail, i won’t call them back. but ppl who know me know this rule.they also know i don’t have unlimited text (don’t ask) and if they don’t have VZ not to even think about textin as a substitute for a call.
there’s nothing more that i hate than some one calling, leaving a vmail, AND then sending a text. i just assume that person is having a mental malfunction and we need not talk anyway until they seek professional care.
Yes VZ, the best network hands down
i personally hate having to listen to voicemails from folks i know…if you called, i will see that you called and i’ll get back to you. no need to leave a voicemail every single damn time you call.
most of the time, i dont want to talk anyway (i have anti-social tendencies) so i would rather text. this is a problem for me for them out of network mofos.
my people know not to call me before 9pm if theyre not IN…the texting is a habit im trying to break. at least its unlimited with the folks who are IN.
i personally hate having to listen to voicemails from folks i know…if you called, i will see that you called and i’ll get back to you
yeah, if someone i know calls and actually leaves a message, i assume that it has to be an emergency or some sh*t
I hate voicemails that say something obvious like “call me”. Just say what you got to say or at least an abbreviated version.
“my people know not to call me before 9pm if theyre not IN…the texting is a habit im trying to break. at least its unlimited with the folks who are IN.”
ex-ac-it-a-clee
“Don’t ever leave me voicemail messages. I never check them. I only respond to texts now. And they’d better have smiley faces on them.”
lol…yeah cuz b*tches love the smiley face…lol…I am guilty of this too…don’t leave a message…ain’t gonna check it no way!
“don’t call 1,837 times in a row and leave just as many vmails before the other person has a chance to call you back.”
and IF you do leave a message…don’t be like “hey it’s ME, hit me back when you get this”… REALLY? ummm…whoduhfugg is “ME”? do you know you are not that special after date#1 to leave such a message? I need your name AND your number, don’t assume you have been saved in my phone and sh1t…lol
you can argue that entering the “its me” phase basically officially deems you a couple
EXACTLY…so don’t be doing that sh1t! and even then it will be something like. “hey (insert exclusive term of endearment here) it’s me…hit me back!” not to mention the fact that the other half of said COUPLE will know that you don’t check your messages for sh1t and therefore probably wouldn’t leave one! I’m just sayin…
yes, congratulations are in order!! i saw that note on the facebook page and had a good chuckle!
im not much of a dater, so i dont really have anything to offer other than….meet in a brightly lit, well populated place for the first date and dont let them see where you live until youre sure they wont stalk you.
thanks and sh*t, shat
*smirk*
on the do side, i’m a classy [san diego-an] lady who appreciates a gentleman. even if he turns out to be mr. wrong and kind of lame/corny/weird, his chances for another date will increase by a factor of 3 if he is a gent. i’m talking opening [car] doors, walking me to my door (or at least waiting until i’m safely inside my building before driving off), walking on the outside nearest the street, saying “bless you” when i sneeze, etc. and, perhaps most importantly, BE ON TIME. if you’re gonna be late, just call and let me know the deal–common courtesy is a MUST. as an added bonus, paying attn to details and “the little things.” it’s impressive and thoughtful and i dig it like a grave.
but maybe it’s just me.
yes! promptness is appreciated and rewarded.
how exactly do you reward promptness on a first date? i can see how being late would lose you points, but how does being prompt win you anything. it’s like not going to jail…it’s just some sh*t you’re supposed to do.
rewarded with the privelige to continue said first date ninja.
hm…ok. i’d bet that i could be grace-period late on 98 percent of my dates and STILL get to go out with them…
then again, i’m a damn G.
speaking of JAIL…I have now learned…
getting pulled over + unpaid tickets and a suspended license = JAIL… (sigh)
fat meat IS greasy…who knew?
Yes…yes it is….
D@mn, is that what you’ve been? That sucks!
“how exactly do you reward promptness on a first date?”
my suggestion: dessert fellatio
ha!!!
“and, perhaps most importantly, BE ON TIME. if you’re gonna be late, just call and let me know the deal–common courtesy is a MUST. ”
What is this a job interview? Me and time management have never got along, and probably never will. I hate stereotypes, but the one about “cp time” applies to me. I’m only on time 1 day out of the year and that’s only because I forgot it was day light savings the day before
lol…dayum shame.
im sayin! lmao
lmao at least you’re honest.
but i’m not with tardiness on dates. i put serious time into gettin my ish together and it takes some skill and concentration for me to be ready by the time i’m to be picked me up. i’m always right on time, so if i have to sit my pretty self down and wait for dude to show up after the set pick up time without some warning, i’m not happy and a next date is not likely.
i feel you on that, gem…i dont subscribe to the cp time at all. my mother is chronically painfully early all the time, and ive inherited that from her.
im okay with waiting because im early (a sista always got a book or two on her), but waiting because youre late? nah, son…nah.
I can’t fully endorse eff’s comment on tardiness, but I will say that lateness should NOT be a dealbreaker.
tardiness on a first date WITHOUT a call to say so (which is just rude and tacky) IS a deal breaker for me. if a dude can’t extend me common courtesy, there’s prob a whole lot more he can’t/won’t offer. and i’m not down with it.
ive been known to give a second chance, against my better judgment….but, it turns out that wasnt the only way in which he was inconsiderate and i shoulda just left it at the first sign. so, its back to being a dealbreaker
“san diego-an” HA! viva la Ron Burgundy
“i’m talking opening [car] doors, walking me to my door (or at least waiting until i’m safely inside my building before driving off), walking on the outside nearest the street”
very few men know about walking on the outside of a lady – it tells other dudes, she’s with me. This is not a must but if any many does it, it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside. It’s one the “tests”.- like the car door test from A Bronx Tale.
I love the Bronx Tale!!! One of my favorite movies.
The walking on the outside of a lady…my Dad told me about that one.
“It’s one the “tests”.- like the car door test from A Bronx Tale.”
can anyone think of a movie that influence contemporary dating more than the bronx tale did? from “you only have three great ones” to the car door test, i’ve permeated bronx tale-isms into my everyday life for the past 10 years
It doesn’t help that it came out when most of us were in high school. lol
right! i do love that movie
power locks killed the door test. dang technology.
so true…
I’m thinking, and I can’t put my finger on one. I know Goodfellas gave me a perspective on marriage.
I think I used to do the car door thing. Is that a for real for real test? I wanna know, what tests do men have nowadays for the keepers?
“I’m thinking, and I can’t put my finger on one. I know Goodfellas gave me a perspective on marriage.”
what perspective was that, exactly?
btw, this…
“I wanna know, what tests do men have nowadays for the keepers?”
…is probably a future entry
oooh, i cant wait! i was doin the car door thing for my mama long before i was dating…so, it was just a matter of home trainin’ for me. when i saw the movie, i was like, score!!
Welp champ, I’m glad you asked bc this is now one of my tests. As I was watching this movie with a suitor I – obviously disgusted by Henry having this other girlfriend – asked him what he thought about the dynamic. He thought it was OK to have another girlfriend – not OK when you’re married but OK if you’re not. I’ve heard that many a person (male and female) think that it is OK to have side person(s) as long as home is being taken care of. boooo to this way of thinking. boooo and hissss
That whole walking on the inside is bull$h*t. That practice developed during the Renaissance when people would just throw their trash out of their windows. Thus, the man would walk on the outside to get less garbage thrown on him.
somehow this renaissance reason sounds like greater BS – I still like the premise of the man walking on the outside.
This makes me sad.
“very few men know about walking on the outside of a lady – it tells other dudes, she’s with me. This is not a must but if any many does it, it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside.
I was taught to always walk on the outside of ANY woman. Even if you are not with said woman romantically, a man should always walk closest to the street. A woman that I was dealing with recently called me strange for doing this. . .maybe I am dealing with no class women. . .before being on this site, I have never heard anyone remotely close to my age mention this tradition.
its not necessarily no class women, could just be women who havent dealt with a gentlemen before.
“I was taught to always walk on the outside of ANY woman. Even if you are not with said woman romantically, a man should always walk closest to the street”
me too
IVR, you get it. bravo to your upbringing. *clap clap*
and yes, i believe men should be gentle towards ALL women, and even other men. like, i appreciate a guy who will open a door for a stranger, man or woman, esp if they seem in need of some extra help.
gentlemen qualities are a turn on for me.
“IVR, you get it. bravo to your upbringing. *clap clap*”
You can credit the grandmoms for that . . . she is INCREDIBLY traditional . . .so traditional it is embarrassing some of the things we were required to do growing up . . . but, I’m not robbing folks, so good on her.
can’t beat old fashioned tradition. it’s what my alma mater was founded on and still, today, perpetuates
“You can credit the grandmoms for that ”
where is grammy from? I didn’t even learn this from my parents or anyone in my family. When I was about 13, an older man I worked with taught me about this – I don’t know if he was black-american but I’m thinking so. My parents/fam are from the West Indies and I’m not sure if this is a tradition across the board or just in America.
“very few men know about walking on the outside of a lady – it tells other dudes, she’s with me.”
This actually comes from ‘pimp culture’ I believe. If a ho (or woman) was on the outside, it a sign to tricks that she’s available.
first the Renaissance effed it up now the pimp theory….arggghhhhh
I’m still holding fast that it’s a gentleman’s quality. Pimps are gentlemen-like too
““san diego-an” HA! viva la Ron Burgundy”
yessir!!
The Champ states,
“dating is an art, not a science”
This is DEEP!! Fa Real. I could create arguements for both side on whether dating is a science or an art. The “artist” side of me tends to lean me in that direction, but I can completely understand the scientific side.
where are the arguments and sh*t?
I like where you’re going even though it isn’t anywhere Monk. For me the art is the way the perfect verse (art) is over the perfect track (science). The science is what each of your respective measurements are, and if those measurements are valuable enough to the perceiver to truly consider mating. (some people would go so far as to say that there respective achievements should be comparable, even more so some people would go so far as to draw conclusions based on birth time, location ect.). Essentially anything that can be directly quantified.
Now the art part, that’s the best that is the way that you two through interaction complement each other. Timing is key and there has to be flow (legitimate to both parties connections between compliments). Now it may progress like Common’s ‘I used to love H.E.R.’ when everything works out right but if you getting whiplash like a driving instructor teaching a child seven years old with parkinsonism in a car that’s has a manual drive train. You may need to get out of that car.
“For me the art is the way the perfect verse (art) is over the perfect track (science).”
good analogy
*whispering* thanks Champ *places crispy $20 in vacume tube from cube in state of Philadelphia to cave in the burg*
“For me the art is the way the perfect verse (art) is over the perfect track (science).”
WHO ARE YOU?? and WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? lol…I am diggin’ that sh1t right there…first “head worthy” comment of the day…salud!
Why thank you. I’ll see your brainy benevolence and raise you a tongue tornado, right after I unpitch this tent. *placing it in the elastic wasteband because it hides it and it feels good*
WuDaMan..I know it’s YOU…I KNOW IT IS!!! give it up! you’ve been found out!!
Come on GoodENess you supposed to play along a little while so that we can keep whearing our e-role playing costumes. OMG ya killin me. lol
lol…you’d be a terrible spy. cats would figure you out before the first handshake and sh*t
I never was one to be able to pull off successful in person pranks. Shoot I would burst into teary laughter on a phone prank. smh but I enjoy myself.
LOL!!!
lmao!!! wu cant hide fuh nothin!! its just a testament to your uniqueness…and the fact that youre beloved by all!
“For me the art is the way the perfect verse (art) is over the perfect track (science).”
one of my fave movies, brown sugar!!!!
“you are the perfect verse over a tight beat” Dre to Syd
Imma go with what Harlequin said.
Anyone who talks on their phone during dinner will not get a second date, that annoys me as much as if T-Pain and Britney Spears did a cover of “Solid as a Rock” while scratching chalkboards with DJ Khaled in the background…. yeah it is that serious.
“…if T-Pain and Britney Spears did a cover of “Solid as a Rock” while scratching chalkboards with DJ Khaled in the background…”
This is just fluckin’ blasphemous. What a sick mind you must have Nat Alise, to imagine such a thing. I think I’m going to get my pastor to bless the next batch of glitter I toss your way.
seriously, that was a good solid minute of laughing mixed with dry heaving…brilliant, nat!
I concur, talking on the phone while on a date is just rude.
“…if T-Pain and Britney Spears did a cover of “Solid as a Rock” while scratching chalkboards with DJ Khaled in the background…”
LMAO!! Lets all pray that neva ever happens!
“…if T-Pain and Britney Spears did a cover of “Solid as a Rock” while scratching chalkboards with DJ Khaled in the background…”
Don’t be giving folks ideas!!!!
::shudder to think::
“Don’t be giving folks ideas!!!!”
OKAY??! T-LEE, cuz you know they BOTH are avid VSB lurkers! I just know it in my bones…them ni99as and Jim Jones!
Thank you for this comment. Now everyone here at the plantation is wondering why I’m laughing so loud. I’m not supossed to me on the internet
don’t become a stalker. plain and simple. don’t call 1,837 times in a row and leave just as many vmails before the other person has a chance to call you back. don’t follow up those calls with texts saying “where are you?” or “why haven’t you called me back?” or “i miss you, i really want to talk to you.” don’t press the next date or make the person feel guilty for being busy (read: having a life).
if destiny’s illegitimate kids taught you nothin else it was to not be a bug-a-boo. it’s never a good look . unless the person you are tryin to court has schizo-affective disorder. in which case dealing with you is likely easier than the voices in their heads.
_______________________________________
YES!! Some fool–that I had just met–called me at 6 in the damn am on a Saturday. And when I didn’t answer, proceeded to text me, talking about, “Wanna meet at IHOP? I told you I like to be spontaneous…” this text was shortly followed by a “is there something wrong? is there anything i should know?” text
um…i will mace your crazy ass.
YES!! Some fool–that I had just met–called me at 6 in the damn am on a Saturday. And when I “didn’t answer, proceeded to text me, talking about, “Wanna meet at IHOP? I told you I like to be spontaneous…” this text was shortly followed by a “is there something wrong? is there anything i should know?” text”
this is terrible. seriously. i feel bad for you just reading this sh*t
btw, welcome and sh*t (i think)
green eyed bandit, aka Ivy’s “RA”, used to do that ish. ummmm i told you i don’t get up before 8a AND you don’t have VZ–why are you textin me?? “i’m just trying to be sweet. who doesn’t like good morning texts??” ME, apparently, esp when they’re sent before the sun wakes up and we’ve only had 1 date.
uurrgghh he was the worst. ever.
thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and shit.
anyone that doesnt want to be stabbed by me, knows not to try any form of noise related communication with me before noon on a weekend…thats just home training!
ive woken up in the morning and seen that someone texted me at 6am and gotten PISSED…i mean, even though it didnt wake me up this time, its the principle of the thing. its principalities involved!
hmm…so did you go to IHOP?
“YES!! Some fool–that I had just met–called me at 6 in the damn am on a Saturday. And when I didn’t answer, proceeded to text me, talking about, “Wanna meet at IHOP? I told you I like to be spontaneous…” this text was shortly followed by a “is there something wrong? is there anything i should know?” text”
ok this would have been “cute” if you had been in contact with him for a while…you know someone with an establilshed dynamic…but new booty cannot invite to rooty tooty…ESPECIALLY at 6am in the in GD mernin’…smoke rocks much? this is the sh1t truck-runners and taze victims are made of! fo’true!
goodie, youre so hawt when you rhyme!!! lol
and i’m not bougie or anything, but you gonna ask me to go to IHOP as a first outing!? that’s probably what pissed me off the most.
what else is open at 6am?
“what else is open at 6am?”
The lagoon . . . a mucky one! . . . so I’ve heard
Watch yo’self.
eff yo…I was thinking that…glad you typed it and not me…my NanaB used to say
“ain’t nothing open between midnight and sunrise but ya legs!”
lol…my grammy used to say something like this too! we all know aint nothin savory goin on between the hours of midnight and 7am. stop playin.
oh, i didn’t leave a dating tip. umm…ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one. you know, just until you get married. lol
“ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one”
somebody needs to get this on a national PA system somewhere. Women STILL don’t understand this. The converse makes for tales of a romantic “groupie”. And nothing looks more obvious and worse on a woman than having a designs on a man who hasn’t yet decided if he’ll even sleep with her, much less call her tomorrow.
Some relationship Judy Blume/E.Lynn Harris type person will CERTAINTLY challenge this assumption and argue the more balanced…”we should all like each other the same”. A woman risks so much more being pressed than a man ever would, at least in the eyes of her “suitor”.
to that, I give them these ***turns multiple 360 like wonder woman..out popping my “damp” throughs, quilts and dust ruffles***
exits.
btw congrats to Liz,P, and C on the black webaward win.
“ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one”
I strongly disagree with this sentiment. Well I guess its the kind of guy you want to date. But for the most part in the early stages of the dating game the woman has to put herself in play. Otherwise why would a guy waste his time? Of course no one is saying you have to follow him like a lap dog, but the interest has to be stronger on her side.
“I strongly disagree with this sentiment. ”
SURPRISE.
…i can’t full on attack this right now. I need to finish my starbucks and meditate in peace.
I agree Dorian. I always show a dude that I’m interested in him – afterall he did pursue me. It’s just me being me. What’s the point in holding back if you’re really feeling someone?
et tu brute LOL i thought you rolled with the yayas.
**stabs myself**
ok let me get myself together.
i agree.
“Well I guess its the kind of guy you want to date.”
Charli said A LITTLE bit more. She didn’t say make a dude feel like his advances were for naught.
I gotta take it back to the natural order of things. I realize that the courtship ritual (as it stands today, with the ladies and their relationship penis’) requires the man DO NOTHING. Especially since we have women out here who will pursue a man, wear the pants, and be as bold as the day is long, because “fortune favors” his proverbial “lazy”.
Every traditional dance i can think of from the tango to the cha cha, has the MAN LEADING the charge. His foot moves first, then hers. Does she twirl herself, does she dip it low???? The answer is NO!! His advances and moves are met with a degree of lesser intensity.
I;ve never seen ANY “traditional” dance where the woman is the most passionate. Where her passion out shines his. She takes the cue from him. She doesn’t “pull requite” out of her @zz.
from one SB fan to another, i’m really feelin the dance analogy. i don’t necessarily know about the “liking” some one more than the other, but i like to be courted. i hate when the proverbial ball is in my court. i’m a swimmer, not a baller, anyway. just like in dance (salsa being my fave), i like my partner to be strong and in command. when he leads, i follow. if he’s interested, i’ll let him know i’m interested.
” (salsa being my fave)”
Salsera . .. that’s wassup! Unless you are on that Miami style . . . I am a left leg lead.
i’m almost pretty sure i don’t know what the miami style is about. or i do? lol no clue.
but the interest has to be stronger on her side.
isn’t this just saying the opposite of what you don’t believe in?
i was gonna write that..but i was thinking i read it wrong. Or he mis-typed.
“ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one”
thing is, comeback girl, is that this is what most people strive for. nobody, male or female, wants to be the one continually pissing in the wind, hoping that the current changes. relationships are essentially power struggles, and the one with the most power is usually the one who cares the least.
with that being said though, i dont think what you’re offering is bad advice, just a bit irrelevant since that dynamic is what everyone is striving for anyway.
“thing is, comeback girl, is that this is what most people strive for.”
i dont think you FULLY agree with this statement.
because of this THIS statement:
“nobody, male or female, wants to be the one continually pissing in the wind, hoping that the current changes. ”
also read what I wrote to Dorian. If courtship is a dance. Why would you commence it with someone who you just asked to cha cha, but her feet hurt and she refuses. The assumption isn;t literal. it should however be instinctual.
“relationships are essentially power struggles, and the one with the most power is usually the one who cares the least. ”
My theory applies mostly to courtship and dating. It does not however apply to a husband loving his wife more than she loves him. The old school saying was “find a man who loves you a little more than you him…for THEN you can GROW to love him as he loves you.”
the above aren;t long term goals.
I think people have miss interpreted this adage for far too long. I think it is supposed to be perceived as such. When what you are giving to your partner seems like nothing compared to the great and wonderful (personally perceived) things that you are receiving from your partner. Now in this respect there is a cycle of give and reciprocity that is perpetual that ends when somebody dies.
totally unrelated but “pissin’ in the wind” is one of my favorite statements. mostly b/c it makes so much sense figuratively and evokes thoughts of uselessness and despair…except in reality, pissin’ in the wind is akin to a hurricane.
i would like to say that pissin’ in the wind during a tornado is a bad idea. they dont call ‘em twisters for nothing. boomerang, b*tch.
thanks P. leave it to you to lighten the mood and aerate the room with pisses in the wind.
its my duty.
hehehe…duty.
“pissin’ in the wind” reminds me of Del the Funkee Homosapien’s “Pissin’ On Ya Steps” which is a steller track.
““ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one”
I don’t believe in this, but this has been an ongoing arguement…lol
and we gonna put it to rest TODAY. this is my mission in life right now.
You’re so optimistic. You know I can’t get down with this. I applaud you ladies who are keeping this going though.
hold on. i need to finish my coffee. And channel my spirit guides up and through.
““ladies-make sure he likes you just a little bit more. he has to strike that fine balance of not being a stalker, while still being the obviously more interested one”
sounds like game-playing.
see woman… you’re sitting across from me playing it cool but secretly wanting to bite your lip. you thought chivalry was dead before tonight, and somehow forgot how much of a good time you can have just conversing… not conversatin’. i compliment you directly, yet subtly… not aggressively. my wit is disarming. my confidence puts you at ease, and my cologne has you feeling like r. kelly at a hannah montanta concert. you knew i was interested at the time i first approached you. so you quit playing this game and fighting the feeling that you’re feeling me… and that you could actually be happy. i’m just saying…
Hannah Montana?
medic!
reading…lip biting…*blushing*…keeps reading…direct, yet subtle compliment…*smile*…keeps reading…confidence…*lip biting w/ smirk*…Hanna Montana…*Laughs Out Loud*…
SouthernCharm…YOU SIR…ROCK!!!
big ole co-sign on that one! now if that date ever actually happened to me, i suppose this would be relevant…lol
“sounds like game-playing. ”
smells like teen spirit (Hannah).
dating is NOTHING but a game. strategy. news flash. But when men play..they play to win. When women get a little empowered its a foul on “the game play”
“dating is NOTHING but a game. strategy. news flash. But when men play..they play to win. When women get a little empowered its a foul on “the game play”
That’s the thing though, sometimes men (read: I) get tired of playing games. You just never know when the person you are dealing with is playing games. I feel if I am honest and it turns out the woman is playing games, chalk it up as an L (but screw her anyway). One day, ill meet a woman thats not playing games and then everything will be ABLE to flow . . . until then, screw these game playing/ caniving broads and drop ‘em when they catch feelings . . . Does this make me a bad person? possibly . . . but games were for high school and semi cute in college . . .
“dating is NOTHING but a game”
is it really, though?
I think that dating is likened unto a working interview for wifie/hubbie mc matie.
““dating is NOTHING but a game””
why is everybody so dam#n literal today? ok..its not EXACTLY like chutes and ladders or butt naked twister..but it is strategy. hopefully people are actively dating this means most people are actively seeing more than one person at a time…that takes a bit of chuck wollery meets bob barker.
Hmmm… i hafta inject my 2 cents…
I think that we make things sooo much more complicated than they hafta be. I don’t date (much) cause i’m in a situation…. but b4 my sitation i went out wit folks to have a good time. I don’t think that finding a mate should be that serious. It should be fun. No relationship new or otherwise should be a stress or a burden. If you come into it to like it’s war or something how can u enjoy urself and let go enough to get to know a person? i don’t know…
“I think that we make things sooo much more complicated than they hafta be. I don’t date (much) cause i’m in a situation…. but b4 my sitation i went out wit folks to have a good time. I don’t think that finding a mate should be that serious. It should be fun. No relationship new or otherwise should be a stress or a burden. If you come into it to like it’s war or something how can u enjoy urself and let go enough to get to know a person? i don’t know…”
i am a free spirit..i go to work in a jeans and tee shirt..sometimes my slippers. When traveling for business i may even draw little smiley faces over a tdm connection…
but NO PART OF MY LIFE is that willy nilly. i can out fun most people. But i don’t haphazard up on anybody’s @zz personal or professional.
Hey CG,
NO PART OF MY LIFE is that willy nilly –
I definitely feel this and show mad respect to any sista on her grind but I said what i said bcuz i have girlfriends who are in fabulous cities with fabulous jobs and date plenty but can’t find companionship or even friendship bcuz of their rules… i’m not saying that’s u at all… i guess i hafta agree with what the champ said in the link – dating is an art and not a science – i think it should be something to enjoy and look forward to. not a game of chess… my 2 cents..
i don’t really think its about a fab city or a fab job. ultimately its about the balance of not dating with blind folds “hoping” for what you want..wanting you back and having fun. its about the subtle and active partipation of the dance while enjoying the music.
in my opinion you gotta have both. but what the hel#l do i know last year this time I was boo’d up in utter “mismatchness”.
its about the subtle and active partipation of the dance while enjoying the music. I like this analogy and feel u on this.
Most definitely. Gurl about ur “mismatchness”, sheit, i’ve been there for most of my relationships for most of my life… it will definitely get better. You will be better for it. Listen to Jasmine Sullivan’s “Bustin Windows”… it just makes me think of what i WANT to do sometimes >:-)
comeback girl is right! let the man pursue you a LITTLE more is what i said. i’m not saying you should play games or not let a man that you like and that respects you know that you like him and that he’s a little special. (because then you’re gonna end up a lonely ass.) i’m just saying, if you can look at your call log and see that for the last month you’ve been doing all the calling and he’s been doing all the call receiving/missing, and can take you or leave you then…he’s just not that into you.
and that’s never ok.
*Sigh* Dating is so complicated….
I really try not to date, but common sense will keep you out of a lot of bull. I do have a few rules that I follow to keep myself sane and drama free:
**No one knows where I live until said person has been deemed safe and not crazy. I have a had a REAL stalker and that mess had me a little on edge. Creepy.
** I don’t go out with guys I am not really into from the get up. Although sparks are not immediate there should be a tingle or something. Even if he seems to have all together there is probably a reason you are not feeling that person, you just don’t find out till later on in the relationship.
**I don’t read Cosmo for dating advice. I hate that magazine. I use to it read all the time when I was younger, but now I just find it juvenile and silly. I just can’t relate anymore. The only thing it is good for is it the monthly Kama Sutra position.
“**No one knows where I live until said person has been deemed safe and not crazy. I have a had a REAL stalker and that mess had me a little on edge. Creepy.”
I feel you. Been there, done that.
CocoChic…we are soul mates…from the stalker to the no datey-no likeys…LOL…I heart you for not making me type my guidelines…you have done it for me…(((hug)))…great minds and sh1t!
im feelin your list for sure…i gotta get outta the habit of going out with dudes that im not feeling, i guess. its rather unfulfilling…
First of all, congrats, y’all deserve it.
My numero uno rule: Is there a strong, initial mutual chemistry?
If not, nothing else will really matter, not fame, fortune, edumacation, nada. You’ll just be passing the time, trying to ignite a flame that ain’t never gonna be there…
“My numero uno rule: Is there a strong, initial mutual chemistry?”
so you don’t think this can grow?
thanks and sh*t, btw
From Champ: “so you don’t think this can grow?”
The friendship part can, along with very good sex and a comfortable life together.
I’m not speaking of none of this. I’m talking about passion, mental and sexual, and based on a true and real mutual chemistry. The soul mate.
We don’t get many of those in life, and I think one of the reasons is b/c we’re so tied up with ‘good enough’ relationships that we miss out on the great ones.
“I’m not speaking of none of this. I’m talking about passion, mental and sexual, and based on a true and real mutual chemistry. The soul mate.”
so, do you feel that unless a couple has that type of connection, they shouldnt even bother being in a relationship?
I hate to sound ambiguous, but yes and no. Teens and young adults need practice in relationships, b/c with each one, they learn more about their own identity, needs, and what they want in life. This also increases their social skills (if they don’t get jaded) and love making.
At some point, however, it’s time to date without commitment to anyone who doesn’t give a true spark in your heart and soul. Otherwise the relationship becomes a comfortable habit where you’re hungry for something but can’t quite put your finger on it, rather than the connection (fate willing) you were meant to have.
I agree with this KIT.
thanks. kanye called though and said he couldn’t believe he didn’t win blacktvonline.com best blog. he said that his blog even comes with free champagne.
Kanye’s blog better not win anything…ever!
i dont know…i loves me a free drank
Kit ur blog is great!
And congrats to VSB on thier award…. I just read errrthang. YAAAAAYYY!!!
But on ur statement about chemistry can’t that just be crazy physical attraction?? What if the person that you connect like that with isn’t as financially successful as you are… not being materialistic. Should that chemistry be the basis for a relationship? And can’t that chemistry die??
Pgh Muse, sorry I’m late getting back to this and don’t know if you’ll see it.
This is why I said mental and physical attraction. That’s a tough combination to beat – except when one or both have severe issues that can lead both of them down a path of destructiveness. A mature couple of soul mates tend to bring out the best in each other. Barack and Michelle might be like this.
You asked about financial inequality. It’s a platitude that money ain’t everything, so I hate to say it, but there are soul mates where this isn’t an issue.
Incomes also fluctuate; you’re doing great now but unemployed and broke later. Or, the 25 year old person with only a HS degree who is motivated to have more, may be a bringing in more bucks at 30 from a good business idea or being ‘discovered’ if they’re in the arts or music, or be degreed and earning more. Or maybe not.
This can be a tough call when you have doubts about a partner, especially for the young who are mor prone to infatuation, but that may indicate he/she is not the one if the two of you ‘don’t fit’ in this area.
Do:
Have something to talk about other than your annoying co-workers.
Be at your natural, witty best.
Groom. No need for the ladies to put on full drag and no need for the gents to rock the blazer/jeans look (which I strongly dislike, btw. lol) but do look like you put forth some effort.
Don’t:
Wear an overwhelming perfume/cologne. If a person is not hugging you, they should not be able to smell you. (Unfortunately, I have a sensitive nose and this would cause me not to go out on a 2nd date with a guy).
Talk about your annoying coworkers, how bad your day was, etc. on a first, second or third date.
“Have something to talk about other than your annoying co-workers.”
yeah, if all your conversations are about work, that is a problem, especially if you are complaining how you still haven’t gotten moved up to fries because Kitkatquisha has a conspiracy with the man to hold him down.
“Kitkatquisha”
I see this is gonna be our new go-to ghetto name…lol
“blazer/jeans look (which I strongly dislike, btw. lol)”
hey! this is my daily outfit to work, and i take offense and sh*t
It’s your work outfit that is fine.
Seeing it out at night does nuthin for me
i think its pretty cute….i saw a few dudes out last weekend wearing a variation of it. plus ive yet to see a dude go wrong with argyle!
ni99a did you just type “outfit”? do men wear “outfits”? really? OUT(muhfuggin)FITS?
i’m a grown ass man and i dont wear outfits. i wear G’d up apparel
“ni99a did you just type “outfit”? do men wear “outfits”? really? OUT(muhfuggin)FITS?”
would “clothes and sh*t” have been better?
yes and sh1t!
i hate lateness. i also don’t like talking on the phone during dinner. people better be dying if you are picking up the phone while at the table.
I agree. Phone better not even be out on the table.
I always thought the phone call at the dinner table is actually one of your friends checking up on you to make sure I’m not courting someone who’s crazy and deranged
I leave them with that information before I leave the house. I follow up with a call in the restroom…lol
we right here, girl! ><
i text at least 4 friends with the person’s name and phone number, sometimes address and then i do a follow up when i excuse myself to the ladies room.
ive never taken a call on a date…nothing says, “wow, you are SO uninteresting” better than takin a call at dinner
oooh I like your style Liz. Lateness is the type of deportment that will get you bad marks before we even meet. I once saw a show where this old lady said that, ‘if a man is more than five minutes late for dinner she has the right to turn off her inviting porch light and treat him like a stranger should he come a knockin.’ Now me personally waste time a lot, but when it comes to dating I’d rather do it w/ someone. I would offer to cancel the date before I would show up late. Now if the lady starts begging, I start droppin that jewlery like I just didn’t want to miss a min of our time together.
Yeah I also don’t like it when someone is late and doesn’t call ahead in advance to say they’re late. don’ call me LATE to tell me you’re going to BE late. I need to just work on the 10 minute rule. If you’re not there in 10 min, and haven’t called to notify me about it, then no dice, I’m out.
Hey you feel like coming to the blogsite w/ me? It’ll be trill Champ gone try you, Panama gone big brother you, and I’m gonna try to see your little party hats (Devient taught me that 1). lol
btw Congratulations to all of you for cold creating the best e-hang out evuh!)
LOLOL! thanks! we are still a work in progress!
So lateness isn’t accepted AT ALL…or just on a 1st or 2nd date??
Sometimes Shyt Happens.
chronic lateness is a sign of disrespect and a little narcissistic.
lateness with no call is just plain @ssholery…
My 1 do and dont:
Do: Be Yourself!
Dont: Consume anything that you THINK will not agree with u.. you’ll pay for it in approximately 1 hour after eat it.
BTW…Congrats VSB! From Omlettes to Awards..wonder whats next??
“BTW…Congrats VSB! From Omlettes to Awards..wonder whats next??”
do you really want me to answer that question?
Why yes i do! lol
1st date tips:
Don’t be overtly sexual (ie: saying you’re so sexy numerous times, commenting on certain body parts and how they make you feel and what they make you want to do). That makes people who aren’t thinking about sex on the first date uncomfortable.
Don’t ask me my goals in life. This dude though he was so deep for asking me where I see myself in 10 years. Not with you, so it doesn’t matter. First dates should be light and fluffy, not deep.
Don’t attempt to hold my hand or kiss me, or touch me other than a goodbye hug. It’s our first date. I don’t know you like that.
Don’t invite me to the movies, because I won’t go.
Do act like you have manners and gentlemanly qualities.
Do put forth an effort to look nice.
Do realize that if you invite me to your house afterwards, and I accept, we’re not about to have sex. I like you and don’t want the date to end, and I trust my instincts that tell me you aren’t the second coming of John Wayne Gacy.
“1st date tips:
Don’t be overtly sexual (ie: saying you’re so sexy numerous times, commenting on certain body parts and how they make you feel and what they make you want to do). That makes people who aren’t thinking about sex on the first date uncomfortable”
Real Uncomfortable…
of course if you come back to my place we’re not doing anything.
And I’d keep saying “Fly, we shouldn’t be doing this” as I start unbuttoning your shirt. . .
Tips:
1. “we shouldn’t be doing this” allows you to proceed with whatever it is you’re doing.
2. don’t hold hands, but if you’re walking a pretty long distance, you can do the arm link thing – a bit more casual and doesn’t come off as creepy.
3. Smile. More people have gotten away with doing things with a smile than can be counted. You could be the only black man in a 100 mile radius, walk into a bank with a semi-automatic rifle, and if you had a big smile, the security guard would be like “hey sir, you can’t have that while you’re in the bank, let me hold it for you while you’re here”.
Also, your date would be a lot more comfy when you’re smiling (unless you have some weird one, I’d suggest practice in front of a mirror if this is foreign to you)
“of course if you come back to my place we’re not doing anything.
And I’d keep saying “Fly, we shouldn’t be doing this” as I start unbuttoning your shirt. . .”
For real, WTF you coming up for? To blog about our feelings? If you come into my house on the first night, there WILL be a move made. Expecting otherwise is just inappropriate. I will be a gentleman, but if u step on the gas, as will I.
“For real, WTF you coming up for? To blog about our feelings?”
lmao need a moment?? twix anyone??
“lmao need a moment?? twix anyone??”
Exactly, that commercial was funny when I didn’t think that actually happened. I guess she wanted a less forward way to ask for the business . . . which is OK with me . . . but really? Coming up with no intentions of smashing?? Completely inappropriate.
which is why, like to drugs, i just say no…. unless the time is right.
i was truly having that same thought!! that is textbook poor decision making. if you aint plannin to give it up, take yo rump home when the date is over.
“very few men know about walking on the outside of a lady – it tells other dudes, she’s with me.”
This is something pimps do when their ho is unavailable.
“2. don’t hold hands, but if you’re walking a pretty long distance, you can do the arm link thing – a bit more casual and doesn’t come off as creepy.”
This made me laugh.
“I trust my instincts that tell me you aren’t the second coming of John Wayne Gacy”
LMAO! I’m the same way!
“This dude though he was so deep for asking me where I see myself in 10 years. Not with you, so it doesn’t matter. ”
**chuckling**
yaaaay! i voted and you won! congrats!
okay – here’s my piece of advice…
if he talks about himself in the third person…run for the hills!!
the champ thanks you and sh*t
I just think the best thing you can do on a first date is be open minded and be able to communicate. Congrats on the award
thanks and sh*t. good piece of advice, btw
Congrats on the award.
#1 Do – Be yourself.
#1 Don’t – Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
::applause::
thanks
what if you don’t know who you are? then by default, you can’t be yourself while you strive to be like somebody else.
it’s a vicious cycle.
dang, that sounds like a glitch in the matrix…
Concur! I think this is the most important. Be yourself, be safe, and try to have fun…. There are way too many miserable people in the world
“try to have fun”
This is VERY important.
Looking at the pic of Big Buck I had to make sure that wasn’t an ex of mine…dang…That’s a good look.
Reading cosmo now huh Champ? Niice.
My contribution?
Don’t call 13 times in 6 hours after getting the girl’s number.
Definitely a red flag.
Has 8th wonder commented back yet? I can’t wait for this…lol
“Looking at the pic of Big Buck I had to make sure that wasn’t an ex of mine…dang…That’s a good look.
”
you sure he’s not?
I know he’s not.
do be commited to having a good time. [sourpusses waste ur own time]
don’t feel like someone owes you something. (other than the commons that go both ways)
if it takes the world and a bag of chips to make u happy get the f*ck outta my face.
shout to She She for adding: be yourself and don’t try to be someone else. raggley bitches WILL perpetrate a fraud. good call.
“if it takes the world and a bag of chips to make u happy get the f*ck outta my face.”
great point. melancholy mutherf*ckers are the worst
raggely b1tches….LUVITMANE!
don’t feel like someone owes you something. (other than the commons that go both ways)
this is something I don’t understand though in the current male female dynamic… if people want reciprocity then why is there the need for a power struggle. If you want somebody to do something for you the best way to accomplish that is to do it for them right? Good afternoon VSB friends, btw…
“do be commited to having a good time. [sourpusses waste ur own time]”
this is a great point. dates should be a fun way to get to know some one on a deeper personal level and should lead to trying out new things.
i hate creepy crawlers but if you ask me to go hiking in the woods becuz that’s what you like, i’m down to give it a try. i like going to the opera and tho you hate to read subtitles, you go to try somethin new that i like. it’s all about being open minded.
Coupla my rules are as follows:
1. Don’t text other people while we are on the first date.
2. Don’t smell like outside/ or wear too much cologne.
3. Be on time.
4. Don’t ask me when I’m going to pay (I’ve had this happen. Now I have no problem with paying, not at all… but I never need you to ask!)
5. Don’t ask me questions like, “What’s the freakist thing you’ve done? Or freakiest place you’ve had sex.”
6. Don’t btch and moan about your last woman.
I know I’m missing some stuff…..
“Don’t smell like outside”
??? how do you smell like outside? sounds like somebody just needs to wash his/her @zz real good.
“6. Don’t btch and moan about your last woman.”
i agree with this..closure ANYONE?
“Don’t smell like outside”
??? how do you smell like outside? sounds like somebody just needs to wash his/her @zz real good
lol…i was wondering the same thing
As a former 1st grade teacher, whose afternoons were filled with little one who ALWAYS smelled like outside. I can explain what outside smells like and how one smells like outside.
Ahem.
Outside smells like you have been outside playing/running/being in the fresh air. Kinda like sweat, dirt and air.
Going for a run/walk, driving or riding in a car with the top down, being in the house with all the windows open are just some of ways that one can smell like outside.
Btw, smelling like outside makes me gag. (it brings up bad memories of being surrounded by little bay-bay kids).
the more you know…..
I am familiar with smelling like outside. My grandma used to say it to us when we had been playing outside too long. It has a smell. Kinda like when you run your hands on a metal fence. That smell…sometimes people that have been outside running or whatever too long smell funny. lol
“I am familiar with smelling like outside”
i don’t think thats information you need to be sharing
STANK YOU very much Philosopher Queen.
She is correct… it’s a certain stinch… you can smell it if you’ve been riding with the windows down, you can smell it on kids, on puppies.
To me it normally smells like grass, and I don’t like the smell of grass.
Yeah… I can’t really put my finger on the exact cause but it all smells the same… it’s sometimes stronger than others though.
it is the smell of raw meat mixed with the smell of a CBG wet blanket.
I just ate…now I’m not feeling so good.
Thanks 2.0
I know exactly what you mean about smelling like outside LMAO.
Good point.
I’m a simple woman… I like to keep thing simple b/c I’m too lazy for anything else honestly.
1. do be yourself
2. do listen and comprehend to what is actually said and not hearing only what you wanna hear…that’s the fastest way to play yourself homeboy.
1. don’t be pressed.
2. don’t be extra.
“1. don’t be pressed.
2. don’t be extra.”
so basically, don’t care, lol
No, the dude should just chill. I mean if he feeling me and i’m feeling him, ok, but you dont have to go into a whole diatribe about how you love being in love and sh!t during dinner conversation….that’s extra.
You don’t have to be all standoffish like you know you the sh!t and I should be lucky you graced my presence and allowed me to have some of your time… that is extra and arrogant as hell and I have no time for your inadequately inflated ego.
On the flip side, if you’re interested then you don’t need to call me, text me, email me, find reasons to be all up under me all the damn time…boundaries dear.
Whatever happend to just going with the flow? I mean, if its a mutual attraction… just go with the flow of progress. Don’t try to force things and don’t try to act like you could care less. Unless you don’t care then that’s another story.
That nonchalant, act like i don’t care/like you ish…that’s high school. I graduated years ago!
“Whatever happend to just going with the flow? I mean, if its a mutual attraction… just go with the flow of progress.”
i prefer going with the flow, but many women (read: comeback girl) will say that just going with the flow isn’t in a women’s best interests.
steve harvey told me that every man you are “involved with” has a plan for you (read: the woman) and it is your right to find out exactly what that plan is…
Good answer!!!
well CONGRATS on the award P, Champ and Liz.
Salute!
thanks n sh*t
salutations khan.
WIA’s Rules on dating
1) Never ever ever listen to what a woman has to say about dating. If what she said was actually true, you would have already slept with her.
Corollary – you can’t nice your way into the va-jay-jay.
You also can’t Dave Chappelle your way into heaven on earth either. Funny (by itself) != Wet
2) Never, ever, ever be yourself.
If being yourself actually worked, all of us would be pushing Mr. Marcus #’s. But you know that you’re not even Wesley Pipes, hell Santino Lee.
The real “you” plays Madden in your boxers, drinks from the carton, and is generally slovenly. You don’t even like the real you.
You have to be your “best self”, your “interview” self.
And women will swear up and down that 1) they know when you’re not being real, 2) all women know – are perpetuating a myth that only serves their evil interests. She doesn’t know a damn thing.
Not that i’m advocating lying (which I am tacitly), but if they really knew what evil lurks in the hearts of men, she would have already deduced that you aren’t a cop and you need those handcuffs for something she’d rather not think about (sober)
3) 3 words – al-co-hol.
I’m not saying you need to get her smashed, but you’d better ask for that wine list even if you’re at the bowling alley.
You need to give her a reason to make a poor impulsive decision that she already wants to make. (by agreeing to the date, she’s practically said that you can hit it…if you run through the obstacle course – which really means every time she says jump you have to change the game on her)
4) The ideal date is meeting for drinks at a bar/restaurant close to your home. (which has a surgically clean bathroom, sterile kitchen, and no roommates – esp not your baby mama)
At which point you say, “hey I need to check on my pet Aardvark, he’s feeling a little sick, come on up, it’ll only take a second”
Then she sees the DVD player
“oh that, that’s just love jones, it’s one of my favorite movies, let’s watch the rest”
at which point you say
“you want something to drink”
which transitions into
- “lemme give you a back/foot massage”
- “i know this great technique for…”
- “lemme just put the head in”
Game Set Match.
5) If she grown and you can’t close within 3 dates, demote her to sometimey status. She wants to “wait” cause last time that she did what she really wanted to do, some dude hurt her or some other nonsense. Do you really have time for that? No, you don’t. I’m not saying cut her out, but she’s not a priority call back. And if you miss out on someone wonderful, c’est la vie.
But if she’s with the program on the first night, please don’t be one of them insecure knee-grows who thinks that she always puts out on the first night, and therefore is not a good girl.
If she recognizes your awesomeness early on, why should you punish her for being intelligent?
You haters and Cosby-ites are messing up the game for the rest of us.
6) Wrap it up B!
7) When in doubt…Just pull it out.
Chicks are subtle (i.e crazy) when it comes to letting you know that she’s feeling you.
“but my right eyelid fluttered mildly for 3 nano-seconds…he should have known he could have kissed me right then”
Even if you packing a Vienna sausage, it’s better to get the pull out (or their hand down your pants) done sooner rather than later.
You’ll get your answer quickly.
best. comment. ever.
i’m in awe.
Champ, NOW do you see how much we NEED this site at work? Where else can we distract ourselves by leaving/reading long arse comments lol.
That deserves some kinda VSB recognition.
“hey I need to check on my pet Aardvark, ”
You got a chick with this? Really? I’m impressed. lol
i hate to say it, but i’d be interested in seeing an aardvark! lmao…i could totally be caught in the clutches!
This may be single handedly the greatest thing I have ever read in my life.
im chokin on my breve here.
first aardvark appearance, the menagerie is growing, my imaginary pets like love playing with real animals.
LMAO…
You are a hot mess.
Oh my goodness… this is the funniest this morning. I appreciate the laugh.
al-co-hol not only an alternate fuel source to reduce our dependence on foreign oil but the gas that gets out cecks engines roaring. Great post W-I-A
*Takes off the captain’s armband, puts it on West Indian Archie*
SECOND HEAD WORTHY COMMENT OF THE DAY!
WIA I have always hearted you since your first day here…and this is why! this sh1t right here ni99a! YES! lol…your pet Aardvark? LUVITMANE…
“the ones that’s ready to freak off don’t need no romance, they belong to the sisterhood of the traveling pants!” Kweli
I thouhgt this was about dating in hopes of commitment, only cuz Cosmo was the source and sh1t, but if we are honest and GROWN and dating is disrobed and revealed for it’s true purpose, finding new nookie…the VOILA…this is PERFECT!
Thank you for coming out, God Bless You, goodnight!
this was exactly what I needed after my hellish morning…
Hilarious! And I have no doubt that this actually works for him.
I can only shake my head and smile…
i’m with everyone else–amazingly entertaining post. extremely well thought out.
and as much as i hate to admit (becuz “i’m a good girl i am”)– this is logicical hetero dating 101. esp the bit about EtOH. i appreciate a man who goes for the wine list!!
and….
“…your home. (which has a surgically clean bathroom, sterile kitchen, and no roommates – esp not your baby mama)”
sooooo many of my guy friends pay little to no attn to cleanliness. clean bathroom and kitchen are a MUST. there’s no reason for nastiness to be growin anywhere. you shouldn’t even invite her up if you aren’t workin those cleaning products like you were related to my mama’s ppl. if i go up to a dude’s apt and have to put my squating muscles to work so i can tinkle, it’s a wrap and i’m out.
^^pay attention fellas. She talkin bout dropping them pannies when she’s up in your spot.
This is good shyt…Fa Real!!
I have very few rules:
1) dont be stank
2) dont order something that you wouldnt order if you had to pay (i think its just inconsiderate)
3) its ok to eat if ya are going to restaurant, dont b sittin there lettin your food waste b/c u wanna be a lady and dont wanna grub in front of me, i’ll just be madd at you for wasting my money
these are three of my backpocket rules as well.
#2 is so true. I would never order something that I myself wouldn’t pay for, that is hella rude.
#3…chicks do this? Who wants to date someone who doesn’t eat?
O they do, and if I’m broke that week. I will rap yo sh*t up and take it home with me
“O they do, and if I’m broke that week. I will rap yo sh*t up and take it home with me”
LMBAO!! I have officially laughed out loud at the plantation and knocked over the cheap omar coffee from the cafeteria . . . I FEEL YOU BRUH!
3) its ok to eat if ya are going to restaurant, dont b sittin there lettin your food waste b/c u wanna be a lady and dont wanna grub in front of me, i’ll just be madd at you for wasting my money
i heard that…
Peyso, you have a co-signer with this comment.
first date tips from a self-proclaimed dating pro…take heed people.
-Be pleasant! Sounds simple but some people tend to take themselves so seriously on dates. If you’re both busy being too cool for school, chances are the date will be contrived and super wack.
-Don’t attempt t0 maintain an image that your date probably doesn’t even have of you. Loosen up and have fun. (See above)
-Use your table manners!
-For the ladies: Unless its been clearly established, be prepared to “put in” for the date. More than likely he’ll say he has it, but don’t give the blank stare when the check comes. At least offer/attempt to pay the tip.
-For first dates, try to do something active or that involves forced interaction (tennis, cycling, cooking class,etc.) Being stuck at dinner with a stranger filled w/awkward silences is painful.
-Dating, especially initially, does not equal committment. Don’t try to call dibs on a dude you’ve been out with once or twice.
Go ye therefore, and date successfully.
“-For the ladies: Unless its been clearly established, be prepared to “put in” for the date. More than likely he’ll say he has it, but don’t give the blank stare when the check comes. At least offer/attempt to pay the tip.”
I don’t agree. The blank stare works. It conveys that I’m not going in my pocket. Especially not on a 1st date.
Maybe I’m liberal. But, the whole “pretend the check isn’t there” thing is lame. Like I said, unless established, and you know for sure that him paying is a non-issue, why the entitlement? I don’t think paying the tip is unreasonable.
If you feel so inclined to pay the tip, do you.
I don’t feel that way. Paying should a non issue if he asked you out.
I’m with u Just Stop It – if he asked you out and you accepted and u are equally going to enjoy the evening and each others company then I don’t think a woman should expect a man to just pay for everything. what if you want extra ish… like a better bottle of wine — a whole bottle of wine– or desert, or anything that u would enjoy that he may not want. Should he just pay for ur stuff? Eh… I think going dutch just frees everybody up to enjoy themselves more.
im so torn on this subject…i have good friends who subscribe to the idea that “i can go dutch with my friends” and if its a date the man should pay, no exceptions. and then others that think what you do…going dutch frees everyone up to enjoy themselves…
its funny because this doesnt even come up when im out with male friends…they always pay for me. i dont even get to look at the check most times. so then im like, if men who arent even tryin to smash can pick up the check, why is it so hard for my date to do so?
Hmmmmmm… I don’t know. I don’t mind paying half for a date. It’s just not one of my rules… when i go out i want to have a good time and money shouldn’t be a reason to not do something that i want to do. if i got it i don’t mind spending it… that’s just how i look at it.
i feel you…and there have been times when i liked a guy that i took him out and picked up everything. but that was never a first date.
But in this day and age …the era of the “independent woman” (No, not just because of that d*mn Ne-Yo song) I think it is unrealistic and out of line for a woman to just assume that the man HAS to pay for the first date or ALL dates for that matter… Those ideals are very outdated. It is not fair or polite to expect that….Unless of course he is a millionaire…If that’s the case leave the house with an empty purse ALWAYS.
“It is not fair or polite to expect that.”
You all can be fair and polite all you want.
lmao!
I’m not going in my pocket. Especially not on a 1st date.
cosign. Dutch = he doesn’t like you (enough/at all).
Thank you Fly.
Paying a tip is not going dutch. And just because someone pays for a date is not an indication that he “likes you.”
THANK YOU!!!!
You should never associate your “likeability” with how much a man spends on you…I mean for God’s sake, men toss hundreds of dollars worth of singles at strippers…does this mean that he is gonna take her home to meet his mama too? I think not…
“I mean for God’s sake, men toss hundreds of dollars worth of singles at strippers…does this mean that he is gonna take her home to meet his mama too?”
We both know this is not the same thing. Apples to Oranges.
We’re talking 1st date…1st.
“I mean for God’s sake, men toss hundreds of dollars worth of singles at strippers”
Which exactly why I’m not coming out of pocket while on a date for a damn meal. You’ve got to be kidding. I don’t believe in the whole feminist movement/women’s lib/we’re all on the same level type of thinking though.
But it’s been working for me, and if what you do works for you, then you should definitely keep doing it.
“I don’t agree. The blank stare works. It conveys that I’m not going in my pocket. Especially not on a 1st date”
i do the “hand reach” in the pocket book gesture. And by the time the “hand” reaches the flap/zipper…it BETTA be “oh i got it”.
if im still reachin…we got problems. for real.
Actually no you don’t because I expect and respect the hand reach gesture. You advocate the blank stare. That sh!t is pretentious and is one of the biggest red flags ever with a woman. Especially after a date in which the woman probably spent the majority of the time trying to portray herself as a successful young woman.
Dorian…I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.
Pretentious my arse. I don’t have to “portray” anything.
Who pays for the first date? the 2nd oldest question (the first being, how long should I wait before i start stalkin…calling her)
There are a lot of schools of thought on this one, but believe it or not, WIA always pays for the first date.
Here’s how you do it
1) Always Bring Cash – it shows you’ve got money (when you don’t) and it eliminates the waiting time.
2) Keep cash in a roll like all players do – Nothing says class like peeling off that top 5 from your bundle of 1′s
3) Don’t be taking these chicks to Cheesecake factory thinking that the Strawberry Lemonade is going to close the deal for you.
4) Take her on a “creative” date.
By creative, i mean cheap.
By cheap I mean, 20 bucks or less including the Metro/Gasoline.
If the weather is working for you, holla @ that 10 bucket of Chicken from Popeye’s (I say don’t go for the Extra Spicy, as you don’t want to feel that pepper on more sensitive areas), 5 dollar box of wine @ the grocery store, and grab that raggedy blanket your pitbull usually sleeps on.
Picnic at the park!
Don’t explain nothing. Don’t say anything.
Do it matter of factly.
Let her put all the positive spin on it in her own mind.
During the day you can stare up at the clouds, up at night you can lie your ass off about astronomy and constellations.
The morning after, when she’s debriefing her girls you she’ll be saying stuff like
“oh he’s so creative”
“oh he’s so sweet”
The “picnic” can be done all over.
Best 1st date picnic i’ve ever had involved a chick cooking something ahead of time, putting the tupperware in her purse, and then eating right after we finished the free exhibit at the museum.
Now, if her kids hadn’t been with her it woulda been on
lmao!!!!!! (especially at #3)
Picnics are actually great dates. Cheap and fun. Everyone wins. You are so on point with the “debriefing” lol.
so this is working for you??
for real…
can you bring some people on to substantiate ANY of this. Im sure there are the women who have something to prove to the more “”high maintenance” ones of us… who don’t think Strawberry Lemonade or the chicken fettucine with sun dried tomatoes …entitles you to @zz.
**people just daring me and my damp dust ruffles today**
The Comeback Girl, “so this is working for you??”
I can tell you that cheap dates have gotten me more action than the “take her to the hot, hip, new restaurant with great decor and so-so food”.
Most men who aren’t closet heterosexuals, recognize that women are
1) bored
2) boring
3) will continue to be bored, and be boring with you until you do something to consistently break the monotony.
and so spicy fried chicken and a dirty @zz blanket your dog sleeps on does this for you??
well..in the words of Tim Gunn “make it work.”
well..in the words of Tim Gunn “make it work.”
i heart tim gunn.
oh, and korto was robbed.
Korto was so robbed. I thought I was the only one that saw that.
i love that girl..but i had a bit of A.D.D cause most of knew who went to fashion week at fashion week. they need to make the episodes more real time.
i agree CG. i think it kind of takes the shine out of going to fashion week if the last three folks that got sent packing get to show too for sake of surprise. i just loved every piece she sent down the runway though.
i love Korto too. i actually think her challenge designs were better than some of her fashion week pieces. but let’s be fa real, American fashion isn’t really willing (ready?) to have “ethnic” high fashion designs. they’re barely breaking in “ethnic” models. i mean, Italy (see: Italien Vogue) and maybe other Euro countries gets it, but not the US of A.
i don’t think the world is ready for anybody to really kick @zz off of PR. and i can’t figure out what thats about-there’s been super talent to come off of those shows. could be credibility. could be the need to pay “real dues”…
but Korto’s stuff has some ethnic influence..but its far from like an “overdone safari or mother land print”…its like a subtle throwback. A hint..id rock everything she showed.
my SB sista–i feel you on it not being an ““overdone safari or mother land print” becuz it’s not. but they (read: judges) still see AFRICAN. and though they praised her work, they still felt apprehensive, esp since her other pieces during the challenges weren’t necessarily “ethnic”, which is what i think they were expecting, honestly.
and i’m with MK, i loved the green halter dress. i want that in my closet!
Co muthafuggin sign!
bullshyt!!! on the play. i gotta call it.
LOL its true, women by and large are bored and boring. Thats why when you flash into a lot of women’s lives they literally feel and look like they are continuously breathing fresh air for the first time in months. I know the look.
“LOL its true, women by and large are bored and boring”
sounds like the law of attraction to me…(can i take my damp dust ruffle out real quick..thanks!!!)..this is more bullshyt. I die laughin when people say another is boring or bored. What the hel@l does that make you. for you to see it someone else means you first saw it in you.
the most bomb @zz people can find something really grand and entertaining about paint drying ..and make other people see that shyt too. ..more of the pixie type “its not me its you”
like attracts like everyday all day.
“the most bomb @zz people can find something really grand and entertaining about paint drying ”
LOL more proof that you didn’t read my comment. Cuz you just described me, when i say others are bored i’m using their words.
Most men who aren’t closet heterosexuals, recognize that women are
1) bored
2) boring
3) will continue to be bored, and be boring with you until you do something to consistently break the monotony.
ok. i know i make jokes all the time about choking and spitting, but i literally choked on my own saliva after reading this.
Most men who aren’t closet heterosexuals, recognize that women are
1) bored
2) boring
3) will continue to be bored, and be boring with you until you do something to consistently break the monotony.
this is completely hilarious… but do men really think this??
“(I say don’t go for the Extra Spicy, as you don’t want to feel that pepper on more sensitive areas),”
It’s official, I hate you.
Don’t worry your cute lil head, cuz just like pattie label n jill scott (for what ever reason they are in my head Somebody loves you & crown royal specifically)would say I’ma give it right back to you. And then we’ll both have to purify ourselves in the waters of lake minitanka. lol
I’ve been listening to Crown Royal all morning.
Jesus be a fence.
Why are you torturing yourself? I’ma send you a 24 pack.
Girl, I got a torture story for dat ass. I’ve been listening to it all day for a reason, lol.
eff 24 packs, I need two bottles of ciroc and one glass of cranberry.
Sigh.
I wasn’t talking about 24 back drank wise…I was talking bout….um…batt’ries…lol Get on your ciroc though!!!
Yeah…I tortured myself on Tuesday. Nothing but slow jams all day…and it was raining…ha!
celibacy blues over there?
Yeah rain+slow jams+celibacy= suicide note.
Do better, e-twinny.
And now that i have clairification…I’ll take the 24 pack.
*cough*
thank you.
now yall sure none of yall want this foot massage?!
Chin up 8th.
Harlequin…can I kick you in the face?
only if it’s accidental from writhing in pleasure from this uhm foot massage lol
Honerable sensei daughter
LMAO
“now yall sure none of yall want this foot massage?!”
okay, i lost my sh!t on this one! lmao
This insurance policy better be good. I’M COMING TO JOIN YOU LIZABETH!) **stumbles around cube clutching heart b 4 falling on keyboard** 9999999999999999
this is hilarious… fo’ real!
i hope its not wrong to say that west indian archie is my hero!
cuz if it is….i dont wanna be right!
The first time a woman offered to take care of the tip, she HAD me. Even though I didn’t allow it, just by offering, she showed a characteristic that I’m fond of.
Okay, this one seems obvious but apparently a lot of people have not gotten the memorandum or the facsimile (I love spelling those words out): “Rule number 4, I know you heard this before”: Never talk or ask about exes. It is just tacky and awkward, apparently if that person is on your mind at the first date then you need to go tie some loose ends and get your mind right, ‘ol wounds open like a 7/11 lookin boy’
it amazes me that people still do this
i’ll admit, im guilty of asking….but its only when the guy is really not interesting and the food hasnt arrived yet.
yo an advice column that came out on msn one day said that people that do that are trying to convey that, ‘their last SO did such and such and wants to pressure you into not ever doing such and such to them again’
Ooh, shots fired on Wonder Woman.
Champ, I’m flattered. I should have seen it coming. These past few posts, you’ve been purposely saying things to get me to diss you (Mr. Masochistic, in the flesh), and now I get a full-blown shot out?
Damn, this is tough. Its not that I don’t think you’re great Champ. Really, sweetie, its not you, its me. I’m really involved in my career right now. I just got out of something, and I’d like to be alone for a while. I’m eternally celibate anyway. You’re just too nice for me.*
Sorry, boo.
*The previous sentence is the answer to the Jeopardy question, “What are answers the Champ is given after he comes clean about his impotence?”.
Oh, and muck deez.
*dying*
hee hee. nice.
the 8th wonder: like cosco, she never disappoints
(and by “cosco” i meant “ayana angel” and by “never disappointments” i mean “is always open for business”)
And you’re like Wesley Pipes.
Too much talking when you could be using your mouth for something else.
lol…good comeback.
*winks*
*crackin the eff up*
BATTLE!!!)
F**kin BEAUTIFUL!!!!
BB Mo!
appreciate you, I do.
*hugs*
Dating Tips
- Ladies, plan and pay for a date – it’s a breath of fresh air for some men.
-No dinner (too boring, ure just eatting) or movie (no room for conversation and this isn’t high school) as the first date.
- Try to converse with each other prior to your date – get the basics out of the way so it doesn’t turn into an interview – and he won’t see you’re shocked face when he tells you he still lives with his ex but he’s about to move out. *dun dun dun*
-Do not dish dirt about an ex. If they ask, a simple ambiguous one-sentence answer should suffice.
-If your date has a child: offer to pay for the babysitter
-Do have chemistry and don’t hold back (aka be yourself but it’s been said already)
“If your date has a child: offer to pay for the babysitter.”
Cuzzo, I love that one!
im sayin! thats brilliant…you so gonna get the draws! lol
“If your date has a child: offer to pay for the babysitter.”
CUZZO…I think this is a sweet gesture…but, real talk, we (single moms) usually use family to sit for us so it’s FREE(ish). lol…most of the time, I use…”I don’t have a sitter” as a smokescreen excuse to get me out of some sh1t I don’t really want to do…
“and he won’t see you’re shocked face when he tells you he still lives with his ex but he’s about to move out. *dun dun dun*”
Actually had this happen to me! LUCKILY I never went out with the negro but it was a phone conversation. Dude, are you SERIOUS?
-If your date has a child: offer to pay for the babysitter
This would Instantly make the panties moist.
does this apply for both sexes? lol
what would happen if a female offered to pay for a babysitter for a single father?
I would do it.
But only if I really liked him… otherwise he might think ur interested in playing mama. If you are that’s great, but if u aren’t that may send mixed signals.
“otherwise he might think ur interested in playing mama”
I don’t think this is the case. If a man offered to pay for my babysitter, I’d just think he really wants to go out with me – no excuses.
young, I would pay and do it classy-like “cuz I’m a laydee” lol. give him an envelope at the end of the night that way he won’t have a chance to say no.
And with future dates (cuz in reality I am a single parent myself) maybe both our kids can be babysat (?) at the same time. that would be when there’s a love connection. (or am I dreaming too big? lol)
“- Ladies, plan and pay for a date – it’s a breath of fresh air for some men.”
To me, this would depend on who asked who. I don’t have a problem with women initiating shyt, but they SHOULD be prepared to plan and pay if I consent. 97.5% of the time, I’d still pay though.
my friend introduced me to her boyfriends best friend and thought we would make a good “match”. so we went out on a few dates but i quickly began to see how addicted he was to his Crackberry…. we were at an NBA game and he was just thumbing away on that d*mn thing…. it was terrible. it was fan appreciation night and the cheer squad was throwing things at people in the stands and everybody would jump up and scream…. but there he was… sitting there with ONE OF HIS CRACKBERRIES in his hand….. that guy sucks…
that guy sucks…
i agree.
we were at an NBA game and he was just thumbing away on that d*mn thing…. it was terrible. it was fan appreciation night and the cheer squad was throwing things at people in the stands and everybody would jump up and scream…. but there he was… sitting there with ONE OF HIS CRACKBERRIES in his hand….. that guy sucks…
ive found, though, that men are typically much different types of sports fans than women. like, a typical guy who’s a sports fan probably wouldnt give two sh*ts about all that fan appreciation mess. in fact, stuff like that annoys me.
not caring about fan appreciation is one thing…i think those damn shirts are overrated…but not caring about the game is an entirely different thing…as well as not interacting with me
” like, a typical guy who’s a sports fan probably wouldnt give two sh*ts about all that fan appreciation mess.”
there’s a difference between not caring about those pre-shrunk cottons, and actually being rude though…. but in the end it was easy to see he was looking for a different type of…uh…. interaction… lol
i was recently at an NBA game–GO CELTS!!!!! and thankfully my date was 6’8″. all he’d had to do was raise his hand to get me a shirt. he even threatened to knock over the little kid in front of us to get me a shirt if 1 came our way. talk about sweet… *batting eyes*
awwww! thats adorable…who doesnt love a man who’s willing to beat up a kid for you?? lol
*snicker*
6’8″???? does andre the giant have any available friends??? i really heart tall guys….. really….
well Champie is available and he’s a friend, but he’s NOT that tall. lol but i’ll check on others…
1. If you asked, you pay. Especially on the first date. If you ask me out, I won’t ignore the check. I’ll casually ask if I need to help out just to see your reaction. Which should be…I got it. If not, you’ll never see me again.
2. Damn it, just let me know if you’re gonna be late or the plan changes. If I’m sitting in the house all cute and ready to go at 7 and you can’t be bothered to say you’re stuck in traffic/stuck at work or whatever has occurred to make you late, my attitude will be real stank.
3. Let me know something about what we are doing so I can plan my shoes accordingly.
4. Present your best (truthful or at least gentlemanly) version of yourself but don’t try too hard.
5. Tell me I look nice and leave it at that. Oh, and my eyes…are up here.
6. Don’t tell me you forgot my name and couldn’t be bothered to check with our mutual friend before you called me, under the guise of being honest.
5. Tell me I look nice and leave it at that. Oh, and my eyes…are up here.
this is when i like to test out my borat “very niiice” impression. i guess i couldnt use that with you, huh?
lol. i’d probably laugh then give you the side eye, hoping you understand not to do that again. borat and other funny but boderline annoying characters should not be used too often.
Hmmmm…Big Buck is cute.
LOL @ this being the only comment I have.
Dating sucks.
lol…you ok and sh*t
Thanks!
Does BigBuck like the whites?
*bats eyelashes, shows cleavage*
I mean even if he technically DOESN’T – its my birthday n sh!t.
Sorry, I will read the blog now.
I repeat….don’t get cut…lol
Just for today dang!
nope…sorry…no share-zees…LM(red)AO…but happy birthday and sh1t…lol…
happy b-day and sh*t
When is this VSB bbq and sh**. Niccas is hungry.
8th, you never dissapoint. LOL, ZingersRU. Yeah, I did just call it a zinger, I’m a journalist, we have to use words like zinger.
Talking about an ex is THE worst. So annoying, like I’m an empathetic person, but you had to pay to take me out for some therapy? Don’t you have friends?
“8th, you never dissapoint.”
That’s what he said.
Thanks The Champ!
Equal opportunity sweetheart, especially on birthdays! LOL!
Eff yo couch top 10 First dates do’s and don’t for the fellas . . .
1. Let your date add cheese some to her burger
2. Don’t start sucking your teeth or getting bent out of shape when your date says she want to super size
3. Be a gentleman and skip the drive thru, take yo @ss inside
4. If you plan on skipping out on the check, be a gentleman and infrom your date about what’s about to happen. (Yes I’ve done this before)
5. If a gun fight breaks out, be a gentleman and hold open the front door for your date to run out first. This rule also applies to number 4 on my list.
6. Don’t be lazy, drive those extra blocks to buy that clear copy of a bootleg movie that you and your date plan on watching that night
7. If your behind on your car note payment, just take a taxi. Nothing is more embarrasing then finding out your car has been repoed while you and your date are walking back to the car. And if you plan on doing number 4 on my list. then your really going to be effed up
8. Never let your date listen to your demo, on the first date.
9. Never let your date see you pocket tips other customers
have left for the waitress
10. And last but not least, I can’t stress this enough Lie, Lie, and Lie somemore. You’d be surpirsed how far with will get you
Follow these rules youll have a collar full of make up
If not, cold shower when you wake up
And here’s a bonus number 11
One word fellas . . .Dutch!!! Not only is this good to roll your weed up in and smoke , it is also the way for a cheaper date. Look it up
*dying laughing*
You and your list sound familiar. Did we go out before?
This man is a gentleman and a scholar.
*doffs fedora*
“6. Don’t be lazy, drive those extra blocks to buy that clear copy of a bootleg movie that you and your date plan on watching that night”
Yeah, don’t have mofos talking and walking through , that is not sophisterrated, show Jujubeequisha that you have class…
with a name like Jujubeequisha, im sure she would appreciate the fine art of ni99a sh*t, in all of its splendorific ni99adom. she might feel a tad out of place with a clear bootleg
Ok, THIS right herr is Fun.Ny!! A tear just fell.
Eff, you had me @ “cheese on the burger”.
What?? I’m a foodie!
Don’t judge me.
That is a 5X shirt by the way. You can’t even get that from the website. And it has my name on the back! Hate on me!
The BBQ needs to happen though. Only now it has to happen in TX instead of DC.
really? they don’t make a 5x? your name on the back? well it looks good on you…how did you manage such hood magic?
laughing @ use of “hood magic”
I’m adding “hood magic” to the PBG vernacular right now. Thanks Goodie!
Ok, your name is on the back, but if your name is not airbrushed in 2 tone block letters surrounded by asterisk shaped stars, then why would I hate? Please don’t make me dig up my airbrushed Black Bart Simpson t-shirt with MY name on the back…lol, j/k
I’ll pull out my shirt with the WB cartoon characters dressed in hip hop gear, heads ain’t ready!
wait?? is that the CROSS COLORS joint?? man! you taking me back!
Yes, in fact, the summer after the 8th grade I lied to a boy that it was my birthday and he bought me one of those shirts, 2 weeks later he found out the truth, didn’t care and still pined for me all the way through high school. Follwup, this same person hit me up on facebook a few months wanting to holler, he never got over the awesomeness that was Naturally Alise 1.0 even though i was a lying a$$ ninja…. the games start early… (*evil laugh*)
“Only now it has to happen in TX instead of DC.”
I agree.
(waving hand like Forrest Gump when he was on the shrimping boat and saw Lt. Dan) I agree too…
FG? really? lol. i can’t even front, i love that movie.
*yelling* Lt. Dan, Lt. Dan.
Man that gives me inspiration to put all my nomdeplumes on the back like those multi sport team hats,shirts,jackets n the like yeah prolly gone have to have that airbrushed. I bet stensiling it would cost too much. So did you go w/ basic white same font BigBuck on the back?
(dusting off my Vesta impression)
COOON-GRAAAA-CHOOOOO-LAAAY-OOO-OOOO-AYYYY-SHUUUUUUNS!
I love you guys…you know I do…I have a VSB shirt (thank HD) but it’s too big…it’s a 2x, I overestimated myself…so once I get the right size…I will be all over the DFW rocking VSB and my big red fro…lots of pics…and ummm…BigBuck is looking yummy as usual…he is like a human billboard! I’m glad he got a shirt in his size… (wink)…and to my VSSistas…I WILL be watching you from the corner…don’t step on my stillettos…daddy doesn’t like them scuffed! lol
ummm…where the hell have you been? the corner is a mess now. luvvie can’t sleep, ms. patterson is missing, and intellectual hedonist has the whole joint reeking of goya.
get on your job
Can’t finnish signing will GOYA! oh I’m already dead
X X
L
—-
CHAMP! you know I like that aggressive sh1t…quit playing! LM(red)AO… “get on my job” I ain’t got no job, Tommy! I am sitting in the library typing to you ignits…and my time is almost up…I got an interview to get to…wish a ni99a luck and sh1t…so I can get back to my corner and clean up some thangs…
LUVVIE – (hug and pat on the back) it’s oky mama, I’m only here for a little while, but you can call me if you need me to IG you to sleep…lol
IH – girl what I tell you about that GOYA? huh? in moderation…SI SE PUEDE…no me molestes verdad? calmate mamacita!
PATTEECAKES – where yat gal? I come back to visit and you is in-cog-negro? PaaattteeeCaaakes, come out and plaaaaaaayyyyyy!
BUCK – (biting my lip) you are the man of the corner…I need you to keep it together while mama is out looking for a job ok? please? (wink) thank you!
WuDa – watch BUCK…no gotd@mn before lunch it will mess up his to do list…lol
gooden luck corner-keeper
Don’t worry we’ll be like Hoppo n Swayne. Come on Buck we gots to build the juk joint b4 the sun gets too high.
oh yea.. I would like to say…to ALL my VerySmartBROTHAS!! BROTHAS!! MEN!! MASCULINES!! I LOVE YOU!! after all the site IS call VSB ain’t it…I need the balance of testosterone and every MANLY keystroke brings to this blog! so keep it up! it tastes GOOD to me! (wink)
Ladies…we ROCK!
for today…GOODENess out!
slippery when wet!
I agree with whoever said no deep conversations on the first night. IF we choose to go on more dates, perhaps I can learn why you never forgave your father, even as he was dying.
Until then, keep it light, I’m a huge goofball so I like laughing. If you can’t make me laugh, poof! vamoos son of a b**ch.
i am right there with you…a funny mofo is always a winner with me
ok people of VSB, HOW do you make yourself more available to meet people? OUTSIDE the club. I know dudes are out there, but where?!
Dudes are all over.
- job/building
- community college/college
- church
- Anime costume conventions
- on the morning commute
- internet pr0n addicts anonymous
Dress to show off your @SSets, make eye contact, and be open to some guy giving you a compliment.
That’s all a woman has ever really needed to do to gain some male attention.
I think you’re really asking something else. but i’ll let it play out.
- internet pr0n addicts anonymous
i’m partial to these myself.
“- Anime costume conventions”
No sir.
Wait he should have said the Kaiju Big Battle. Good times. Everybody loves that can o campbells soup
“ok people of VSB, HOW do you make yourself more available to meet people? OUTSIDE the club. I know dudes are out there, but where?!”
I feel you on this one. It just seems like the other venues are inappropriate to be approaching a woman unless she is flagging you down. I had the “I’m tired of dealing with scallywags” conversation with my homegirl yesterday . . . All of the girls that I know that I would consider “wifey” material found their SOs in college. Who knows where to look now?
exactly. what happens when you are not in an academic pool of eligible brothas.?
i hear you. and there’s no one at my job. small company.
“i hear you. and there’s no one at my job. small company.”
That’s the thing for me, I have heard all of the talk about not getting with people you work with. But I just had to see for myself . . . and it’s true . . .bad business all around. I am the quintessential “sh!t where you eat” guy. From landlady’s to sorority sisters to friends of friends, I dont think there is a “bad idea smash” that I haven’t engaged in. How do you do it the right way when you are no longer in college.
“bad idea smash” is going into my vernacular.
““bad idea smash” is going into my vernacular.”
Werd, it has been done so much I had to create a shorter way of explaining my actions.
You need at least 2 levels of separation
- co-worker – no (LEVEL 0)
- co-worker’s best friend – no (level 1)
- co-worker’s best friend’s acquaintance – yes. (level 2)
So when you mess up with acquaintance, co-worker is *slightly* less in your business.
But honestly, I don’t like no Venn Diagrams when it comes to dating. Dating and Work don’t mix like 2 dix and no beach (i’m still not sure i’m with Biggie on that one – even if you add a beach to that equation that’s not something i’m trying to be apart of…I digress)
For a guy, Absolute strangers are the best, but hardest to meet.
For a girl, Absolute strangers are the worst, cause they ain’t got no one vouching for em. She gotta do all the googling and credit checking on her own.
But the bad idea smash is not normally sought after . . . in my experience, it comes to you . . . I am in a “situation” with a woman that leases the apartments where I live . . . (master key, in the apartment right above me, aunt directly below me) all around bad smash idea . . . woman approaches me, Im new to the area sitting outside my Alexandria complex trying to get to some strange town in VA . . . HOT AS HELL . . . talking about “I think you are cute” . . . the sensible answer would be “thank you” and keep it moving . . . however, I am a man . . . I think you are cute = I am going to beat . . . you approach me = sooner rather than later. . . all common sense goes out the window . . . maybe i need a bad smash intervention . . . please tell me I am not the only man that has committed these judgement errors!
“HOT AS HELL ”
Clarification – I was hot (temperature) she was OK.
ok enough to hit though…lol
“ok enough to hit though…lol”
Absolutely
ok people of VSB, HOW do you make yourself more available to meet people? OUTSIDE the club. I know dudes are out there, but where?!
where do you live?
As if you’d know how to help her. You live in a cave.
hee-hee.
CLEVELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MD! But I am moving to VA…or DC, depending. Help Champ!
I think you’re really asking something else. but i’ll let it play out
do share, cause i cant.
what are ur interests?? im still waitin on the fed-ex delivery guy to say he’s my twin/soul mate/ black hole of the sun..but that’s prolly not happening anytime soon..
are you actively participating in life? stuff like that….
are you actively participating in life? stuff like that….
lol… funny.
i actually meant that sincerly..no wet shabby chic collection at all..
during my relationship mourning..i wasn’t really. i kind of forgot all the stuff i really loved to do, absent of a man….but men are everywhere..and even better where your interests are.
OH!! AWWWW… I’m glad u got outta that fog!
And i think you are absolutely right. A great relationship song that i just heard is “Bustin Windows” by Jasmine (i think that’s how u spell her name) Sullivan…that song will definitely make a sista laugh at least…
***disclaimer pgh muse does not advocate bustin out peoples car windows as ways of getting back at them after a break up****
In my experience, most women that ask this question aren’t asking where to meet *A* guy (seriously we’re half the planet), but where to meet THE RIGHT guy.
well Archie thats where your list comes in.
fried chicken on a dog blanket…i mean you can’t find JUST ANYBODY to do that with you.
fried chicken on a dog blanket…i mean you can’t find JUST ANYBODY to do that with you.
this made me laugh out loud 4real.
^^Will be bringing the Hot Sauce next time.
fried chicken on a dog blanket…i mean you can’t find JUST ANYBODY to do that with you.
i heart you. seriously. that made me chuckle.
WIA, umm, you nailed it. Where to meet the right guy is SO right.
question… since my gym appearance has exponentially increased in the last few months, and i see lots of cute guys working out regularly–are there rules for meeting ppl at the gym??
my 2520 labmates say any guy that tries to talk to a “chick” at the gym, he’s definitely interested. but i don’t know. a few guys have intro’d themselves to me since i see them there like daily. but they’ve never exactly made a move. but i don’t like carryin on convos when i’m tryin to work out anyway. 1 becuz i got a sched to keep! but 2, i just feel horribly un-look-worthy (what does that even mean?? sweaty, flushed, not cute) and think, why would a guy want to holla when i look a H.A.M?? additionally, i go to the gym on campus, so there are obviously some young tenderonis there–i’m not really trynna be a cougar-in-training so i leaves the cubs alone.
so….by keeping to myself and avoiding eye contact while i’m at the gym, am i closing myself off to potentially meeting guys?? or is the gym just not a good place to play hook up??
Real Talk, if you working with something, dudes are thinking you’re hot, even though you’re hot and sweaty. A cute face is a cute face, period.
It’s like the chick with nice back end throwing a sweater over it, think she’s hiding it. The chick with the double dees thinking that hoodie is going to make us not see the truth.
All that camoflague only emphasizes what we looking at anyway.
Personally, I don’t holla @ my gym cause I actually want to work out. When I’m struggling with the olympic bar and the 2.5′s on each end, the last thing I want to think about is how do I approach that phattie with the pit stains.
i hear you. i don’t wanna be holla’d at when i’m workin out either. not necessarily, anyway. but i’ve been told i mean mug and thus close myself off to meeting new ppl. i’m a nice person but i tend to scowl sometimes when i’m focused or not smiling. i’m working on this. but my “personal trainer” has also said this about me when i’m at the gym and how i never speak to anybody, even ppl i know.
and so all this talk about dating dos/don’ts and where to meet [mr. right] guys got me-ta-thinkin about places i frequent and meet ppl.
You shouldn’t scratch anyone off your list…so what if you look like a sweaty, hot ass mess looking cougar. They might think you’re a hot looking cougar and the sweat makes you even hotter. And he’ll be hot and sweaty and ya’ll can be hot and sweaty together. Word up!
KILLA K!!! i’ve missed you. and you’ve missed so much juicy gossip (girl). what you doin this weekend?? call me–’Ivy’ and i are goin out Sat night.
Juicy?!?!? I gotta know what’s so juicy. And you know I’m down, let me know.
Oh and I won’t be able to contribute to the blog as much. They found me out at work and block the site.
bastardos!!!
BOOOOOOOO!!!!
totally unrelated to the topic of the day…. but i thought i would share…
http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_S_buck16.3d67d4a.html
@ confused…most say, if u go do things u like to do and enjoy urself…it might be possible to meet (or be met by) a real live VSB…but cant tesify that that approach works…i mean here on the blog, we are e-swimming in an academic pool of awesome specimens of exemplary Black manhood, but its dangerous…like Lays “betcha can’t eat just one!” they’re SO damn tasty…but offline? not so much… I live in Dallas and I do spoken word, concerts, museums, etc but the men there usually bring their own sand to those beaches ya dig? so I feel u on where does one meet men kwerstchun… cuz doing what I like has yielded a fruitless harvest, unless u count the VSB groupies…(yeah Champ, I have a few “fans” myself…) flattering but nobody phux w/ e-groupies…cuz they really were at the d@mn anime convention…lol… YIKES!
so I am asking w/ CONFUSED…where are good man-markets?
should you ever find out let me know….
i’d like a CC on that memo…
although, i have to admit, i dont get out much….maybe when im finally done with school
goodness, i do spoken word as well;) where do you live?
MICROPHONE CITY, TX but Dallas, TX to those not fortunate enough to know the deal…lol
Be yourself.
Now that I think about it. I’ve never really “dated” a guy before which is strange coming from someone who is always in long-term relationships. They’ve always started out as FB…hhmmmm. I’m just realizing that for the first time. I’m a fast one…Don’t tell my momma
FB?? oh wow. now i’ll never look at the sand-ster the same. or you for that matter. lol
Just pretend you never read that.
I’m really too late to get in on this discussion. But uh, I thought all the award winners were supposed to get VSB t-shirts. I want a baby-t, size small!
Champ, can you make this a topic? It seems people have lots to share, advice to give…thanks:)
I’m too hung up on you reading Cosmo and giving out lap dances to concentrate on giving any do’s and donts