I’m a Black man so I’m paranoid and I have trust issues. It’s my birthright. But my trust issues run deeper than your average bear. Follow me.
1. Black men with no bass in their voice
I’m offended when I meet a black dude, gay or straight, with no bass in his voice whatsoever. Nobody should feel like they’re talking to a flute when you speak.
2. Men who give very feminine weak a** dap
What kind of sh*t is that? You ever met a dude who just gave you an ole limp hand dap or didn’t even finish the sh*t off? Like a black dude who forgot to lock the sh*t up at the end? F*ckin’ offends me. I always wonder where they come from or where they were raised. I know some folks who give pussydap. And it makes me feel dirty
3. Green sauces
I know this one is kind of off-kilter but I just don’t trust green sauces. Avocado, guacamole, relish. Do you remember the Garbage Pail Kids? Me too. When the garbage can fell over, slimy green sauce that favored guacamole came out. I’ve been ruined since I was 8. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like green sauces…if you try to give me green sauce, I’ll try to kill you with the force of a thousand meese.
Or I’ll just ask for some ketchup or something. Something that resembles blood because that’s natural!
4. Black men who exclusively date outside of their race, or anybody who does that for that matter
Because I don’t understand it, I can’t trust it. When faced with the buffet of beautiful women of your same race, I do not understand how a man can rebuke them all and determine they aren’t good enough. That man doesn’t like himself and probably has a bad case of Ajax.
5. Black folks who wear blue contacts
Umm…you’re lying to yourself so you will lie to me. Hell, I’d be skeptical if they told me that 2+2=4. I’d want to know exactly how they came to that conclusion because I’d think there was a lie in there somewhere.
6. White people
I keed, I keed. My best friend is white! 
)
That’s a lie too. Don’t trust me.
7. Cauliflower
This is true though. I do not trust white vegetables. There is something seriously wrong when there is only one white vegetable out there. How is it that only ONE veggie is white? There are a few green veggies, a few yellow, and a few orange. But just one white. The gig is up b*tch. And I ain’t drinkin’ the kool-aid.
8. Black people who are too good for Kool-Aid
I vehemently believe that if you are too good for Kool-aid, you should just perish. Kool-Aid is everything that’s right with the world.
download the fast and the furious tokyo drift dvd
d a r y l dvd
9. Black people who don’t like Black people
Does this even need an explanation?
10. Folks who tell you that they’d never kick you while you’re down, while you watch them kick somebody else while they’re down
The dumb sh*t here is that folks will honestly mean it…right up until they do it to you. They’ll tell you that you aren’t like other people then WHAM! Steel-toed workboots all up in you’re a**.
the secret lives of second wives download 11. North Korea
Not sure why, but that place just gives me the willies.
12. Anybody who hasn’t seen Coming To America
Because its perfect in every way but one. Not sure what that one way is, but nobody’s perfect. Jesus teaches me so.
13. Anybody who wasn’t moved while watching the Michael Jackson memorial service
You have no soul. Stevie Wonder almost brought tears to my eyes. That was a very fitting, well done, and moving homegoing ceremony. Even Al Shartpon came with the thunder. If you find a way to hate on this, you should just go eat two bay leaves and an anvil. RIP MJ.
So good people of VSB, what don’t you trust?
Sharing is caring.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
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{ 713 comments… read them below or add one }
Pretty sure The Champ has hit on this before but, people who prefer college hoops over the NBA. Says a lot about’cha, kinfolk, if you’d rather watch a kid who needs 6 screens to get a shot off vs. someone who can create a shot at will.
Also, props on the weaka.ss hadnshakes. Nothing worse than when a dude gives the “hey you’re a girl so I’m just gonna make my whole hand go limp” handshake. Grrrrr.
@Sheffield Swats, “Nothing worse than when a dude gives the “hey you’re a girl so I’m just gonna make my whole hand go limp” handshake.”
One of my co-workers does and he served in the Marines. He’s looks intimidating, but then has a weak handshake. Don’t get it…
@Sheffield Swats,
whatabout a chick that gives you a firm #$$ hand shake? i used to work with a chick that did n i asked her and she said it was cause she was a alpha dog n not a weak broad lol i think shes a man tho lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I dunno… I believe if you’re gonna shake somebody’s hand, you really should grip it like you mean it- anything else signifies to me that you’re not genuine. Blame it on my Biz background, personal opinions, or the boogie, I just don’t like no punk arse handshakes.
On the other hand, too strong can signal to me that you’re trying to hard. Find your middle ground, and take cues from your c0-shaker.
@Beez,
Blame it on yo’self! Aint nobody’s fault…but yours and that boogie.
“too strong can signal to me that you’re trying to hard. Find your middle ground”
Word. I hate the death grip. And I dont like shaking hands period so anyone tryna hem me up for hand to hand combat is gonna get a side-eye of west African proportions.
@Me fail english?,
side-eye of west African proportions.
I love you for this. BlackStar’s Stand Up!!
@BLUNTBLAZER, agreed on the trying too hard front. My general rule of thumb is a simple squeeze (pause). I’m a woman…not supposed to choke your hand to death, but ladies who offer the limp hand seem like they’re waiting for a guy to kiss it. And that’s weird.
@Sheffield Swats,
Pretty sure The Champ has hit on this before but, people who prefer college hoops over the NBA. Says a lot about’cha, kinfolk, if you’d rather watch a kid who needs 6 screens to get a shot off vs. someone who can create a shot at will.
usually these people are racist and don’t even realize it (or do)
@The Champ,
It seems that 2520 males love college football and basketball more than the pros. I don’t get it?
@Humble_One, “It seems that 2520 males love college football and basketball more than the pros. I don’t get it?”
They are more likely to see the white guy be the star in college especially in basketball OMG, they’re last hope (Dirk) just happens to soft as tissue and Steve Nash got his thunder stolen by Chris Paul.
@Humble_One,
Because it’s the new slavery
@The Champ, ha! i think it just has a lot to do with where you grew up. i grew up in a state with the biggest college bball rivalry and a less than mediocre nba team (hornets, bobcats??) and few professional sports team, so a lot of people in my state grow up watching college sports and just prefer them. i’ve never considered myself a racist because i prefer college bball to the pros. the professional season is too damn long for me to pay attention to anyway. maybe if i grew up in a city with relevant pro teams and mediocre college teams, i’d feel differently.
just my $.02…
@Sheffield Swats, I don’t like basketball anymore period. The last time I enjoyed it was the Kings/Lakers rivalry and then before that Bulls domination. But I like college football way, way better than NFL. Everyone in the NFL is TOO good. I like to get excited for first downs like they get excited for touchdowns in the pros dangumit! Besides I’m a cocky, arrogant, a**hole of a USC Trojan fan…fight on! Oh and I am girl.
@Treezy F. Baby,
I didnt know there were like real USC fans.
@Peysonic Temple, me neither.
Anyone who has listened to Maxwell’s new CD Blacksummer’s Night and cant find at least one song they like. Said person should probably just kill themselves because they lack a heart. That or something is wrong with there hearing.
Btw Fistful of tears is that funk……
@JamaicanGirl, I co-sign! I love the new cd and caught his show 2 weeks ago. I love his voice…
@JamaicanGirl, I HEART him so much! I wanted to see him for Essence, but only managed to get an autograph. I’m currently on Bad Habits.
@JamaicanGirl,
“Btw Fistful of tears is that funk……”
That’s my favorite song on the new one.
@miss t-lee, Me too. Bad Habits is my 2nd favorite…
@Leila,
I can’t decide if my 2nd favorite is Bad Habits or Stop the World.
@JamaicanGirl,
I’m on Stop The World….but I think the entire CD is the shizz!!! I wanna see him in concert!! He’ll be in Louisville on the 13th….might have to get me a ticket!!
)
@This Just In…,
You should go.
Seriously….
*side-eyeing Cheekie, Me Fail and Blackberry Mo….
@miss t-lee,
YOU GON GET JUMPED!
@Me fail english?,
I got a little song for ya’ll…(worksafe)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF6UYdZASc8
If you feeling froggy…
*giggling*
@miss t-lee,
Youse a mess for linking that. Perfect. hehe, love ya’ll.
LOL! You da fu*kin besss!
@miss t-lee,
T-Lee… you’re e-twinnage is currently under review for this.
thx,
management.
@blackberry molasses,
Say word?
@miss t-lee,
*crane kick*
@Cheekie,
I blocked your crane kick with the “wax on, wax off”.
@miss t-lee,
*yells like Mr. Miyagi*
You know the yell, if you seent the film. Which brings me to…
I can’t trust no one who hasn’t seen and liked The Karate Kid.
@Cheekie,
yeah…I hear they are making a new one with Jaden Smith.
Um…no.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah, I have a hit out on Will Smith for that remake. That ish is personal.
@JamaicanGirl, it’s a very good album. period.
you know what i find interesting about maxwell albums? the fact that music is usually more interesting than maxwell on the songs at times. seriously…half the time i dont even listen to what he’s saying b/c his voice sounds so much like another instrument. now, his voice fits perfect with his music so it’s a win-win.
maxwell is one of the artists who really does a good job on the music aspect. he goes all out.
@JamaicanGirl, “Fistful of tears ” is my favorite cut on the whole (9 play) album
‘Or I’ll just ask for some ketchup or something. Something that resembles blood because that’s natural!”
this made me LAUGH and i don’t know why! lol
I’d never trust a person who has never seen The Sound of Music…..like really if you can’t sing I am 16 going on 17 with me, then something is the matter.
@Naomi,
sound of music? lol
@Naomi,
For me, I’d say don’t dtrust a person (over the age of 18) that hasn’t seen popular Disney movies (cartoons, and not that Pixar-lated mess) , like The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin… Something. Were you raised by singing pottery, and never experienced the Bear Necessities?? Questionable.
Those, and the Wizard of Oz. In Technicolor.
@Beez,
*hugs Beez for this comment*
@Cheekie,
Aww, thanks! I always welcome hugs!
*feels warm and fuzzy*
@Beez, Though I never seen the Wizard of Oz in Technicolor, but i agree with you on this one. Man all of the Shrek’s were too f’ing funny. A lot of those movies actually have a little adult humor hiding in them. Got to love Disney-Pixar!!
@Naomi,
I LOVE THE “SOUND OF MUSIC.” My family thinks i’m crazy b/c i will sit and watch the entire musical whenever it is on ABC Family.
@Naomi, You wouldn’t trust me then. I have yet to meet the woman with the whip appeal to make me sit through “The Sound of Music”, “Grease”, or any musical that is not “School Daze” or “History of the World Pt.1″.
@Legendary Dash, You need to watch Lil Shop of Horrors too. That was half decent. You didnt like Carmen: The Hip Hopera?
@Peysonic Temple,
Carmen was terrible. I only made it through about 6 minutes. Only animated characters are allowed to randomly burst into song in my house.
@Peysonic Temple,
I LOVED Little Shop of Horrors. Although in retrospect, a big-lipped, jive talking plant? Hmmm. Should I be offended?
@Me fail english?,
I’ma gonna break into a spontaneous verse of “Suddenly Seymour”.
@Me fail english?, you should only be offended if the big lipped, jive talking plant was named Me Fail English… then again were you offended at the ebonic speaking transformers?
@IH,
I havent seen Transformers 2 yet. But the hiphop, “jive turkey” one got a mean side eye.
@Naomi,
LOL. I don’t think I’ve even heard of that song. If Ima watch all them kids it’d better be some Jacksons involved.
@Me fail english?, LMAO.
@Naomi,
Ay, don’t judge me! I never seen it…and JUST learned all the words to “Do Re Mi” this year…my bff used to always sing it when we were kids, but she never got past “Re…a drop of golden sun.” lol
Like I said, don’t judge me, dadgammit!!!.
@Naomi, i’ve seen The Sound of Music no less than 200 times. which is saying something b/c it’s SO DAMN LONG. my little sister loved that VHS Doublebox so much that we nearly watched it every other day.
for a minute i thought i was a Von Trapp.
@Panama Jackson, you mean to tell me you aren’t a Von Trapp, I thought for sure y’all were related
@Naomi,
Re: Sound of Music
I used to sing that “Do, a deer, a female deer, Re, a drop of golden suuuun…” song a long. I used to try to do it without taking a breath. Yes, folks, that is how I amused myself when I was mini Cheekie.
@Naomi,
The Sound of Music is the business but the best “Disney movie starring Julie Andrews where she sings and takes care of other people’s children” has to be Mary Poppins. Baring Dick Van Dyke’s English accent, the movie is ” practically perfect in every way”. Dick is the bomb but he should have studied the Cockney accent a wee bit longer.
Omg, first of all, let me say how thrilled I am that I can actually comment from my blackberry finally! Thank you Liz!
Now, on to the post.
I don’t trust tall men that will only date short women. And I don’t mean short as in shorter, I mean short as in dude is 6’4 and his girl is 5’1. Like seriously, you’re dating a girl who has to stand on Jesus’s shoulders to look you in the eyes. And you ONLY date girls around that height? That’s okay with you? Seems like you’re masking some kind of insecurity. I’on trust it.
I also have a hard time trusting
Magic Johnson and his endorsement of health insurance, Steadman Graham, and anyone who has ever said, “Just let me put the tip in”.
G’night.
@8th Wonder,
and anyone who has ever said, “Just let me put the tip in”.
Muahahahahaha!!!!
@8th Wonder,
did kfc pay magic to say that at the mj tribute?
i was like dam ninja 4 real
@BLUNTBLAZER,
KFC’s been paying Magic in retroviral drugs since ’92. It’s what keeps the chickens plump and the T-cells high.
@Me fail english?, I just put in a request for a new monitor…. When you spit coffee on them they tend to not work anymore
@Me fail english?
Now THAT’S some funny shyt
@BLUNTBLAZER, even though i think Magic was just making some sh*t up on stage (it’s a tribute, its what you do i suppose), that KFC story was hilarious.
but also eye opening…think about, MJ seemed like the most non-normal person ever. can you even picture him eating KFC???
“this extra crispy sure hits the spot, magic. sha-mone. hee hee!”
@Panama Jackson,
Michael would’ve never eaten extra crispy! He was an original man.
Also, didnt Mike say he became a vegetarian after he had the acne? I guess he was one of those vegetarians that ate fried chicken.
@8th Wonder,
LOL @ “Just let me put the tip in”. Yeah, can’t trust that neither.
I hear it’s usually preceded by “just a look” and then “just a touch” to “Just a feel” to “just the tip”. Shock on you if you’re testicularly-deep in there and she says “OK. You may proceed with more than the tip”.
@8th Wonder,
“Just let me put the tip in”.
This is a classic line NOT to trust!!! LMAO
@8th Wonder, -along with ‘Just let me put the tip in’ I have learned to never trust. ‘Naw really, I just want a quick taste.’ This always leads to me looking at myself in the bathroom mirror with a washcloth in hand wondering how my cloths got on the floor
@8th Wonder, I also have a hard time trusting
Magic Johnson and his endorsement of health insurance, Steadman Graham, and anyone who has ever said, “Just let me put the tip in”.
this cracked me up. you trippin’ though…i want magic’s health insurance plan…
“just let me put the tip in” sounds like it would have been a great song for BET Uncut. it also sounds like a song R.Kelly would write and sing now.
@8th Wonder, LOL!
Before Just the tip is “Just want to come over to watch a movie” or “I just want to give you a massage”
Straight up and down co-sign on black dudes with no bass in their voice. WTH kinda sh*t is going on when my voice is deeper than yours? This is the reason Lloyd is scary at me. That riggan’s voice is softer than MJ’s. SMH
@ChiChi,
das like steven segal kicks eryones a$$ but he runs like a fruitcake guess thas why he learned to fight lol
@BLUNTBLAZER, Say it ain’t so. I wonder if there is a clip on YT. LOL
@ChiChi,
Yuck@ Lloyd’s voice. And he talks like that conversationally too. At least MJ sang hard sometimes. I feel like Lloyd got his balls cut off before puberty or smthg
@Me fail english?, OMG! Me and the bff were watching him talk to Irv Gotti on his show and we talked like him for the rest of the night. My stomach was hurting we LOLed so much.
@ChiChi,
LOL! I was saying “But you dont let nobody borrow ya car Gotti… a-heh-heh-heh” randomly for a minute when the Southside video dropped.
*Side eye at me having to like red sugar water*
Why does my other comment have to be stuck in MOD double he hsticks after I edited? SMH
@ChiChi, editing doesn’t approve it. next time watch your potty mouf!
muah ha.
@Liz, But…but, people love my potty mouth! At least, that’s what I tell myself.
@ChiChi,
“double he hsticks”
HE-HE-LL????
@Me fail english?, Let’s just pretend like that’s what I really meant. LOL
Can I just point out that randomly my great-grandfather has blue eyes. He’s also racially ambiguous, but we just assumed he was black since he was part of the Harlem Renaissance.
But yea. Nouns not to trust:
Anybody that says “trust me”. I’m known to say that alot, however, my mother taught me at a young age that if someone is trying so hard to get you to believe something, it must not be true or trustworthy.
The GOP. This has alot to do with me being an active voting member and official in the Democratic party. It also has to do with all of the racist 2520′s that seem to constantly announce how much they love using racial slurs.
PETA. They champion for the cause of animals that eat other animals. Yet, they attack humans, who are essentially animals that eat other animals. Also, they seem to support my house being infested with 6+ legged flying woodland creatures, which is not alright with me.
The NAACP, BET, and all of their affiliates.The two blackest organizations that seem to always work against black people. I don’t even need to fully break this down because y’all already know.
Perez Hilton. Any Puerto Rican that is willing to try to use the term “N*gger” towards a black person, as if they are white is denying the f*ck out of their heritage. Guess they forgot PR’s are simply ex-slaves mixed with a bit of Spaniard and Taino Indian; they’re not even real latinos…effing spanish speaking light skinded black folks. Hello! (Yea I said it! Got something to say?)
So yea…those are my picks for the night.
@chaoticdiva, That mofo ain’t even white?! W.T.Sam.Hill?!
@ChiChi,
Perez is Cuban (same difference and shet) but not all Latinos are mixed. Some of em really are white and will be happy to tell you all about their 100% Castilian heritage. Just ask my boyfriend’s racist ass grandma.
@Me fail english?, um yeah watch that same difference mess cause trust me when I tell you most us Latinos don’t like you confusing us one for the other, especially the continental versus carribean…yeah not the same…
While some of us respect and embrace the diverse ethnicities we stem from others would like to remain ignorant ( I have found that especially true of the island Latinos, as if the salve trade didn’t run through and include them at all)
@Intellectual Hedonist,
“um yeah watch that same difference mess cause trust me when I tell you most us Latinos don’t like you confusing us one for the other,”
I know. Problem is, I don’t care. Just like I don’t care if people assume I’m from this island or this state or whatever.
Also, PR is a place where slaves landed and native lived prior to Euros… just like the rest of N. America. Just because there are several different ethnicities doesn’t make everybody “mixed”.
@Intellectual Hedonist, But let my friend tell it, AAs are the only “real” black people. SMH
@Me fail english?,
That’s even worse. I’m Cuban. Now I’m going to have to kick his arse.
@chaoticdiva,
great def on the peta bravo
@chaoticdiva,
this was an inspired list. particularly BET and NAACP. Debra Lee(vil) needs to commit ritual suicide. She is h3ll bent on destroying little black children. iCant wit her azz. Word to The Boondocks.
@blackberry molasses,
Yeah Debra Lee has been on my shiz list for quite some time. You can’t trust a heiffer that rocks a seaweed dress to her own award show!
@chaoticdiva, The NAACP, BET, and all of their affiliates.The two blackest organizations that seem to always work against black people. I don’t even need to fully break this down because y’all already know.
BET is the best source of news and vital information for everybody. If BET News isn’t saying it, it’s not true.
BE..what? They don’t HAVE any news anymore??!?!?!?!
WTF?!?!
Wu-Tang is for the children.
@Panama Jackson, my girl called me this morning and said the women that they had doing the before or after show commentary looked like they had been picked up off the Baltimore streets and were talking like they had just witnessed a car accident or some shooting, all over gesticulating and just horrible
@chaoticdiva,
“Anybody that says “trust me”. ”
Oooh, good one! It automatically makes you suspicious as there’s no real reason to point out the unnecessary, overt ish other than you’re being deceitful.
@chaoticdiva, “Guess they forgot PR’s are simply ex-slaves mixed with a bit of Spaniard and Taino Indian; they’re not even real latinos…effing spanish speaking light skinded black folks. Hello! (Yea I said it! Got something to say?)”
PREACH IT
I maintain that the best part of Coming To America is the Packers vs. the Giants bit. And if you don’t know why, I’ll just smh at you.
And you’re right about Michael’s memorial service. Undeniably moving. Especially’s Stevie “Never Dreamed You’d Leave In Summer.” amazing …
And you surely shouldn’t trust a person who wears color contacts still, especially the one who goes so far as to wear fake glasses at the same time. Double Whammy.
Don’t trust any person who uses the non-words “conversate, irregardless and extra-ordinary” … google them together … smdh
@thismayconcernyou, Still remember when I wanted some purple contacts. Purple is my fav color. Thank Gawd I never got them…can’t imagine the jokes that would be made about the pictures now. LOL
@ChiChi,
Purple is my favorite color too, and back round ’97 I did have a pair of violet contacts. LMAO@myself.
Lawd-a-Mercy!
I too, can’t understand for the life of me why someone would wear fake glasses. I’ve had to wear these mofo’s since I was 7, and trust if I didn’t have to wear them I wouldn’t.
@miss t-lee,
LOL I had the violet contacts too! I wore them for about 2 weeks and got sick of them. But in my defense I was like 15 or 16.
And I don’t understand why people would want to wear glasses or contacts if they didn’t have to cause as soon as I was able to I got lasik surgery so I wouldn’t have to play with my eyes.
@miss t-lee, LOL! @ ya’ll. I also used to say if I got the contacts that I might wear non script glasses sometimes, too. Yes, I now…I was on one.
@miss t-lee,
I can’t understand why someone would really wear fake glasses either but I must admit that glasses do add a little more personality to your face.
@thismayconcernyou,
And Paris’ speech to her daddy. If you didn’t tear up, something’s wrong with you. Serioulsly
@Wanjiru,
I watched the last hour and had a dry face the entire time but when she said that about her daddy I couldn’t hold back. I had already cried about 8 times over Michael Jackson and swore it wouldn’t happen again but Paris’ love for her dad was so beautiful and I liked that we got to see how special Michael Jackson was as a dad too.
@thismayconcernyou, argh…that word, irregardless!!!!! I had a ex that used this word in every. single. conversation. It’s like he went out of his way to incorporate the word into conversation….I HATED him because of that word, and broke up with him because of that word.
@Complex Simplicity,
This is the best thing I’ve heard all day. You actually broke up with someone for saying irregardless. in my best 2520 voice: Awesomeness.
@thismayconcernyou,
“Don’t trust any person who uses the non-words “conversate, irregardless and extra-ordinary” … google them together … smdh”
Let the CHUUUUURCCCHH say Amen!!!!!! Wooooo lawd….I have a running list of non-words folk use to try and make themselves sound intelligent….FAIL!!!
@thismayconcernyou, And you’re right about Michael’s memorial service. Undeniably moving. Especially’s Stevie “Never Dreamed You’d Leave In Summer.” amazing …
Stevie’s words and singing broke me up. And i’m not usually very moved by Stevie. I’m usually trying to understand how he moves so well.
I swear I done seent Stevie do dance routines.
@Panama Jackson,
“I swear I done seent Stevie do dance routines”
You gone need more ppl for this one Pan-Pan. Stevie’s blind ass aint doin nothin but the head sway. A very soulful and deep head sway. But a head sway nonetheless. He might shake the braids if he’s feeling good. But how the hell would he know from the end of the stage. Wouldnt he fall in the orchestra pit?
@Me fail english?, He did do a dance routine before.
@Yaa,
I know you’re not saying a Chris Brown, Thriller homage. But we talking “dance routine” or two-step? Im with Cheeks, I need to see the video.
@Me fail english?,
I have to agree with Panama. I saw Stevie do a dance routine on an awards show. Unfortunately I can’t tell you which one. But I remember it. The dance routine was quite simple though. A few steps to the left, a few to the right, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy…Very easy, but Stevie worked it.
@Panama Jackson,
“I swear I done seent Stevie do dance routines.”
Ok, Panda, you’re gonna have to provide YouTube clips of this STAT. I ain’t never seen this and I am a big Stevie fan. I imagine him dancing it up with his walking escort attached to his arm. Because that’s the only safe way to do so.
@Cheekie, im telling you. i dont seent it. with my own two eyes.
some awards show. it was an actual choreographed routine. i mean he ain’t pull no MJ number but he did enough of a routine to make me re-question his blindness.
@Panama Jackson, I think it was the 2005 BET Awards!! He did dance. My entire family sat there silent because it was so unexpected!
@Panama Jackson,
Oh wait a minute! All coming back to me! Yaa definitely brought it back by mentioning the BET Awards…wasn’t it when he performed, “So What the Fuss” or something?
@Panama Jackson,
I definitely remember that too. They got him up, they did a little dance thang, and he ended in his B-boy stance. Then, all was well with the world of Beez.
–”Straight” men with allot of gay male friends. Even if it’s just on Facebook . Seems suspect to me…
–Women with no female friends, I can see if you don’t have allot but NONE seems untrustworthy…
@MilaD,
welcome and sh*t
@MilaD, “–Women with no female friends, I can see if you don’t have allot but NONE seems untrustworthy…”
Cosign. Not having any female friends makes me think that you may be the one who is scandalous. You could also be seen as weird, crazy, or socially awkward.
@MilaD,
Ill see that first one and raise you. I have a limp-wristed, Queer Eye reject of a co-worker who swears up and down he is straight. But check his stats:
-He’s over 40, no woman, no kids.
-All his friends are 35 and up. No women, no kids…
-…except one dude with a wife and two kids…who is cheating with a flamboyantly “straight” drag queen named Jose
I mean what’s the point at this point? You’re not in the closet. The closet walls came crashing down years ago. You’ve been exposed!
@Me fail english?,
lmfao @ your co-workers whole lifestyle and situation!
@Dom,
lol! That’s so mean!
@MilaD, ya know, with that first one, i think it depends on the industry.
anybody who works in the entertainment field is gonna probably know more gay people than straight folks.
also, if you work at the GAP. in Lennox Mall in Atlanta. on purpose. oh wait, that just makes you gay.
NTTAWWT.
@MilaD,
“Women with no female friends, I can see if you don’t have allot but NONE seems untrustworthy…”
Yeah, this brings me to the subcategory of girls that say, “I don’t hang with girls because they’re all about drama” which warrants the side-eye. It always makes me think that THEY are the problem, not these supposed dramatic girls. I mean, yes, ladies can be dramatic but sisterhood is sacred and should be cherished. Especially with our people.
@Cheekie,
Word. The reason I gotta call poppycock on these ladies is that I come from a family FULL of women, and I’ve always gravitated to friendships with females more. My male friendships are usually accidental (ie. I never walk over to them at the lunch table and chat. I’d rather read my book).
And while there are no shortage of drama-ful women, there are plenty more that just wanna eat wings and shet. If you cant find them, you’re probably the issue.
@Me fail english?,
“And while there are no shortage of drama-ful women, there are plenty more that just wanna eat wings and shet.”
LMAO.
This statement is so t-shirt potential. Like it could say, “No Drama: Let’s Just Eat Some Wangs”.
@Me fail english?,
The reason I gotta call poppycock on these ladies is that I come from a family FULL of women, and I’ve always gravitated to friendships with females more
Word.Life. (wkcite Pan-Pan)
@Cheekie, Oh yeah. I forgot to mention this one. I treasure my female friendships. Especially, since I can’t help but look at most dudes as dicks with men attached. *Snicker*
If I had a dollar for errytime I heard that here in the ATL, I’d be muth@#$^^in Bill Gates up in this beeyatch!!!!!
“And you’re right about Michael’s memorial service. Undeniably moving. Especially’s Stevie “Never Dreamed You’d Leave In Summer.” amazing …”
I woke out of a dead sleep to catch Stevie Wonder. Again, big ups to MJ. I will forever jam to your hits but…. I was all about some Stevie Wonder for 20 mins..
@An Uninspired Muse,
This is probably morbid, but I was thinking, when Stevie passes it will be the end of an era. The original Motown child star.
@Me fail english?, yeah…when Stevie goes, there won’t be many dry eyes in Black households.
kind of like when OJ goes, only the exact opposite.
@Panama Jackson, @Me fail english?, yeah…when Stevie goes, there won’t be many dry eyes in Black households.
kind of like when OJ goes, only the exact opposite.
LOL…so true re: OJ, but why yall gotta bring up Stevie going???
@overit,
stevie going is…. man, I cant even fathom it. really.
@overit,
I couldnt help it! It was the first thing that came to mind when he started singing
@Me fail english?,
Unfortunately, I inevitably thought about Stevie Wonder passing, too during his performance. I will LOSE it.
*desperately pushes that thought out of my mind*
@Me fail english?, I’ve been saying I need to see him before…(Never finish this statement)
i don’t trust….
….men with arched eyebrows.
women with hairy legs who wear shorts. or women with extra hairy legs in general
bethenny from the real housewives of new york. betch! how you all on fox news making snarky comments about mj like your 9 minutes of reality tv fame would even put you on a level to do such a thing!? i quit you.
i don’t trust women who wear bright red lipstick when it doesn’t suit them. i mean, that’s such an iffy color that you already know it might not fit you in the first place. so it’s not like you haven’t been put on warning before you go out walking around looking crazy.
ooh! on a similar note, i don’t trust women under 35 who wear their hair in sponge roller sets.
and no. i cannot–will not trust anyone who wasn’t moved by the michael jackson memorial and/or who is still making ignorant, comments about those unproven accusations. i think such people are obviously challenged. and NTTAWWT, but i don’t need anybody’s crazy a*s going all slingblade on me. i heeds warnings, that’s all i’m sayin.
@charli skipper, primary color red lipstick looks off on ALL women. Period.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I agree. I hate lipstick period, but red lipstick is the WORST on everyone.
@8th Wonder, I hate lipstick too.
@overit,
i feel like lipstick is for old women. lip gloss (not overly shiny, sticky or thick) and lipstains are where its at.
@8th Wonder,
I beg to differ… Lol! I love my wine color lipstick… It moisturizes and everything.
@charli skipper,
“bethenny from the real housewives of new york.”
Damn. She and Jill were my favs. What’d she say?
@charli skipper,
i don’t trust women who wear bright red lipstick
You don’t trust Mama Tina Knowles?
*snickering*
@miss t-lee, You don’t trust Mama Tina Knowles? *snickering*
LMAO hells naw. This is the same lady that made all those late 90s what-in-the-bedazzled-I’m-a-Survivor-hell outfits for Destiny’s Child. She’s an affront to all Creoles everywhere. That stop sign lipstick is just the tip-off of her inner tackiness.
@Sheffield Swats,
inner tackiness? Hon, Mama Tina has the Dereon Bedazzled Lifetime Tackiness Acheivement Award perched on her guilded Dereon embazoned mantle.
That tackiness is out in the open for the entire world to see…
@charli skipper, i don’t trust women who wear bright red lipstick when it doesn’t suit them.
one of my boys dated this chick who wore fire engine red lipstick the first time i met her.
i called 911 cuz i thought she had chapped lips so bad they were bleeding. turns out it wasn’t.
911 doesnt like when you dont call for real emergencies.
I think I just died, LMAO!
@charli skipper,
“ooh! on a similar note, i don’t trust women under 35 who wear their hair in sponge roller sets.”
Sometimes, I set my fro on satin covered sponge rollers! look at this face!
http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa265/goodeness357/iBlush.jpg
you don’t trust me baby?? *wink* GOODY loves the kids!
People with pre-paid phones. Just something shady bout it. Bad credit? Can’t commit to a contract? So these calls don’t show up on your family plan?
Hmmm…
@kidSistah,
And anyone who bought a Treo just for its autopurge option, or paid for an app to purge texts and numbers automatically. Unless you’re in the Witness protection program, you don’t need this level of efficiency in covering up your tracks. That’s seriously shady IMO.
@Wanjiru, ok I had a treo for a year and didnt realize it did the autopurge until you just stated that.
@Wanjiru, I have to get a Treo now.
@Legendary Dash,
Right????
iDon’t trust…
…people with teeth missing – sumn just ain’t right about u smiling & sniggling & thangs when ur mouthpiece looks like a 7-10 split! then u wanna catch tude cuz people staring atcho naked gums w/ a stinkface trying to figure out WHY?
…quickweaves – cuz they’re quick! give me a nice slow weave anyday…a chick in a quickweave is lazy to get a real weave and obviously doesn’t have a real job w/ some sort of ghetto-less dress code!
…grown men w/ cornrows – sorry dude, I don’t care if ur a rapper or an athlete or a rap-lete…leave that mess to the 24 and under crowd! grownups get haircuts!
…people w/ ALOT of kids – well cuz…to me, superfluous reproduction just screams that u obviously make bad life decisions and u don’t like condoms…DUH!
and finally…I don’t trust ninjas in skinny jeans! I mean skinny jeans? c’mon now! if ur rocking those, where do u put ur peen? cuz if it canfit in them denim leggings u rocking ur hung like an iPod not a tripod, and I don’t trust “tummy thumbs” either!
…
@GOODENess,
Cosigning on the skinny jeans phenomenon. I can’t wait for it to be over already. And adding to that, the whole Arabian/ MC hammer pants/ culottes /whatchamacallit/Skort? (Why am I still LOLing at Wu’s Skirt post like 8 years later?). Those thingamajigs just scream “hiding a Depends”. True, incontinence is a problem- but why advertise the fact?
@GOODENess,
I miss you when you’re gone. Really.
@blackberry molasses,
((((hug)))) I be missing the VSB-ness when I’m gone too…but thanks to insomnia adn Liz making this joint mobile…I will be around mor often…
LIZ! can you use your utility belt to fix it so we can reply to replies from the phone too? *batting eyelashes* pretty please?
@GOODENess, LOL. i’ll look into it. i was noticing the comments do weird things in the mobile versions and that was bugging me.
@GOODENess, I agree with all of this!
@GOODENess,
people with teeth missing – sumn just ain’t right about u smiling & sniggling & thangs when ur mouthpiece looks like a 7-10 split! then u wanna catch tude cuz people staring atcho naked gums w/ a stinkface trying to figure out WHY? .
OMG I almost choked on my bagel reading this. Hilarious!!
@V Renee,
I don’t wantchu to choke! but if you do…be careful when you fall to the ground as you lose consciousness…wouldn’t want YOU to lose any teeth now would we?
@GOODENess, After reaading this comment I am kicking myself for staying away from VSB for so long. Where else am I ever going to get this kind of commentary.
@Suga&Spice, took the words right out of my mouth.
@Suga&Spice, definitely not at the huffington post.
Vote for VSB on the Black Weblog Awards.
@Panama Jackson, can you vote more than once. I think yesterday I voted with every email account I have
@Suga&Spice,
awww that was sweet suga! Thanks! I stay away longer that I should too… VSB is a commitment and we all know how Goody feels about those! lol…
@GOODENess,
LOL @ quickweaves….
@GOODENess,
“…people with teeth missing – sumn just ain’t right about u smiling & sniggling & thangs when ur mouthpiece looks like a 7-10 split! then u wanna catch tude cuz people staring atcho naked gums w/ a stinkface trying to figure out WHY? ”
I agree! And on the flip-side, I don’t trust people with too many teeth or huge teeth a la TEETH Harvey, Julia Roberts, and Tom Cruise. They seem like they’re trying too hard to smile even if this effect unintentional.
@Cheekie,
aww…
lol
@charli skipper,
Aw, it’s okay. I am open-minded enough to take other aspects of your being into consideration before making a final conclusion. Ask miss t-lee. lol
@Cheekie,
Nope! Until I can access Youtube at work and can figure out the song she posted, T-Lee is on my list!
@ Me fail english?
You’ll find out soon enough grasshopper…lol
@Cheekie,
you must have beef with Luvvie… aka Sharkmouf.
Where is she anyway?
@GOODENess,
well, that’s a wrap for this post.
@Saule Wright,
whatchu trying to say? is that a compliment or a jab at my long-winded-ness? in some situations breath control is a plus! lol… ok… *waving* heeeeey Saul!
Gotta agree
-neva trust a weak handshake off top
-i saw coming to america
-mj tribute-BET can kiss my @#$ thats how ya do it stevie killed it def a tear jerker dam i still cant sleep its midnight cali time i think its a full moon to anyways j-hud major props, ush dam i give ush his props i swear if the boy touched mikes casket and started doin some dance moves i woulda lost it, mariah was there good job al sharpton dam he brought it, berry gordy it was like tha black people all star game. dont hate but i fell in love wit janet all ova again jd betta knocker her up she need some yung meat. sorry rip mike. even jermaine and his painted on hair wasa tear jerker my pops was sayin he aint see no tears not even from the kids so its all fake smh pops think he kno erythang since he got the big ole tv wit hd, add,& adhd
CANT TRUST IT
- POLICE- do they help yall they dont help me i got beat up for mistaken identity by 2cops so yea fuq um, pullin me over at 10 pm for a airfreshener wtf
- GUMBO- sorry a mofo will put anything in that pot im coo
- PIT BULLS- i dunno they jus look like they wanna snap my friend hada pit bull that eat her own puppies cause she was jelous that he was showin her love like he used to.
- GUYS IN SKINNY JEANS- we capped on you back in the days and we will still roast you. me and my patnas are perfessional cappers
- GIRLS FROM CLUBS/BARS- this almost never works out but it seamed like a good idea that night.
- ANYONE THAT DONT LOVE THEY PARENT/PARENTS/GUARDIAN/BIG MAMA/WHO EVA WASHED YO A$$- self explanitory
@BLUNTBLAZER, Whoever put on this show had way more time to prepare than BET did. Albeit BET could have done some things better (ie. Drake and Lil Wayne performance with children hopping around in tutus), let’s keep in mind it is an AWARDS show and that’s what it was supposed to be up into a few days before.
@Nicki Sunshine, nobody asked B.E.T. to alter their plans to put on a tribute at the last minute. No one. They could have whipped something together later in the week and still came out looking cool. They blew it and they know it.
@T. Troy Stewart,
‘xactly. Or the few things they did, coulda been done better. I won’t give you the long ass laundry list I’ve posted here umpteen times about how they coulda done smthg on short notice. Ill just leave it at: No excuses BET.
@Me fail english?,
how hard is it to call chris brown bump jayz
I agree- no one had to “ask” them to do it… if they wouldn’t have done it, the black community would have been talking about them for that. U just can’t satisfy some of us.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Or the third option…They could’ve just done it well. But that may be asking too much of BET
@Me fail english?, folks always forget that third option.
@Me fail english?,
Yup. I still stand my assertion that they should’ve waited to do a REAL MJ tribute on a separate day. I know, I know, folks are gonna say that ninjas would be mad if they didn’t do it right after, but all they had to do was do a video mix tribute during the awards show (Which, I heard they made one but it didn’t air) and mention when they were airing the REAL DEAL. Piece of pie.
I can’t trust a corporation that (over)sells something they can’t provide. BET is the epitome of this.
@Me fail english?,
for real, if they needed the time to plan a proper tribute they could have waited. Like, til his birthday maybe?
Aug 29th is right around the corner. By then, some of the stars who couldn’t be involved in this one because they were too distraught (i.e. Diana Ross, Liz Taylor) may have been calling in, ready to participate.
BET + missed opportunity to do right by MJ =EPIC FAIL.
@Nicki Sunshine, had they done what they said they were going to do, no one would have been talking about it. If they didn’t feel they had enough time, they still had time to make things right…
They said they revamped for a MJ “TRIBUTE”. Yesterday was a “tribute”, what happened at the B.E.T. awards was a mess.
B.E.T. did the same thing that they’ve been doing for years, just enough to not go broke and to pacify its audience, aka business as usual. This wasn’t the time for that and now they are paying the price for they misread of the situation.
There are thousands of black celebrities who would have jumped for the chance to celebrate MJ with respect…B.E.T. has phones, don’t they?
@T. Troy Stewart, man, all kinds of grammatical errors up in that one and me didn’t fail english
@T. Troy Stewart ,
“all kinds of grammatical errors up in that one and me didn’t fail english”
That’s funny. I didn’t see anything wrong with your post *shrugs*
@Nicki Sunshine, you right though. im the least satisfactory black man ever.
that’s why i’m going to become a Croatian next week. curious to see how that goes…
@Panama Jackson, LMBO!!!!!
@Nicki Sunshine,
I’m sorry. I can’t trust people who willfully defend BET and their foolywang.
No excuses. BET has been in the game FAR too long to keep effing up like this. They just don’t give a good gotd@mn.
…But just because I can’t trust ya, doesn’t mean I don’t love ya. I’ll just be giving you the Lady Cameroon Side Eye
@blackberry molasses, “I’m sorry. I can’t trust people who willfully defend BET and their foolywang.”
co-sign LOL.
@Nicki Sunshine, PS I would like to remind you that BET’s parent company is the all powerful MEDIA CONGLOMERATE VIACOM, the weild all types of power. sheet they brought NEW EDITION together all of em and half those guys dont even speak to each other. No BET is full of ish and they have no EXCUSE whatsoever. NONE!
Sheet one of the most moving moments for me yesterday was the most simple, towards the end when the pastor was about to come on when the spot light shone at the empty mic, I was doing the ugly cry in my office, cause it was over Michael Jackson was dead , and the emptiness told me so… RIP MJ BET can go kick boulders
@Nicki Sunshine,
also, minus the live choir at yesterday’s tribute and his tour dancers–because i wouldn’t expect BET to be able to use them on such short notice–the tribute was very simple. it’s not like whatever short amount of extra time the Staples Center people had to plan it was spent pulling fireworks and miracles out the woodworks. it was the simplicity and tone of respect that made it over the top.
the people at BET were the ones who said it would be a tribute. they could have taken all those superficial, half-as*ed “RIP Mike Jack!!!” and used just 1 segment to bring the mood to an appropriate place and do a few of his songs. Hell, those don’t take long to learn, and no one’s ever going to do them as well, so that’s not even the issue.
everyone was aware that BET only had 3 days to plan it. so the criticism of their “tribute” wasn’t about anything technical, but da*n. Somebody could have had a genuine moment of respect and there could have been waaay more songs quickly thrown into the mix of a show THEY told us to watch in tribute. Hell, “We are the World” can be done off sheet music. And did you hear Lil Wayne say “Rest in Peace Mike Jack!”? It was just the ignorance of it that was so appalling.
@Nicki Sunshine, “let’s keep in mind it is an AWARDS show and that’s what it was supposed to be up into a few days before.”
Exactly! but it was a horrible, no good, very bad awards show (and did we really expect anything other than utter ignorance and foolishness?!?)
they shoulda just made a clip comprised of bout 15-20 seconds of each of his videos, had a moment of silence, and at the end of what coulda easily been a powerpoint presentation, the last slide could have read “The Official Michael Jackson tribute will air on July 12, 2009 @ 8pm.”
@BLUNTBLAZER, “pit bull that eat her own puppies cause she was jelous that he was showin her love like he used to.”
Aw NAW. I hope your friend got rid of it- that’s scary.
@Nicki Sunshine,
yeah he did it was kinda weird tho like gruesome scene you can imagine i wont go into details
@BLUNTBLAZER, how you gonna hate on Gumbo?!?!?!?!
LOL.
@Panama Jackson,
mayne ive seen gumbo bein made and i somepeople act like a witchdoctor an put erythang in it.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
You must hang out with my pops. It dont even start off as gumbo. You can be making Roman (Ramen) noodles. You don’t watch that pot, cut up hot dogs ALL in yo’ sh1t.
My PICT-orial:
Anyone who paints whole races with a broad monolithic brush. This includes Black folks who write off all of any other race and happily volunteer their laundry list of issues with them. Just because you, say, lived in a neighborhood full of Mexican folks who were foul towards you doesn’t mean all Mexicans should be hated on the strength of happening to be Mexican.
On a related note, I can’t mess with self-haters. It’s obvious they buy into stereotypes and negative press about their own easily, and have no idea of the beauty of being who they are (my ex says hi, with her obvious position that Blacks can do nothing right and need to get like whites to succeed or be worth anything…she’s #9 and won’t admit it)
Can’t trust Laker haters. Those types are off by default.
Folks who don’t believe in eating vegetables or meatless foods. To the point they’d seemingly run the other way at the suggestion, as if foods without meat are poisonous. If a person says terms like “rabbit food” or even thinks Subway is “salad on a bun,” not only will I pretty much not eat anything they make, I just about have nothing to discuss with them.
Their cousins are people who worship at the altar of pork. As y’all say around these parts, iCan’t with those bastiches.
Anyone who comes out of their mouth to say “I’m a Christian”…usually they live quite hypocritically. Main people who cuss like sailors, pump up the thug life, are intolerant of some group that isn’t them, and contradict many other virtuous Biblical principles. Basically their claims of Christianity are a shield and a crutch.
Chicks that immediately use derogatory terms to refer to men…oh, I’m not like these other “n*ggas,” eh? Hmmmm, I can see what your general vibration is going to be…time for me to leave well enough alone.
People that go right into religion or politics when we first meet/speak/date. What, are you litmus testing me or something? ::hangs up phone::
People who act like the NFL is the only sport that exists in the world, dis Los Angeles as “fake”, militantly don’t watch TV, militantly picky eaters, those who have way too many kids for their age, Black ppl with blond heads of hair, Blacks who hate Dad, people who want plastic surgery, police haters…
With these and many more, “off by default”, “iCan’t” and “nothing to discuss with them” pretty much sum up my assessment of all the above groups. Ain’t tryna get gray hairs associating on a trust level with these knuckleheads.
Oh, and that’s my pops with #8. His weird argument is that Kool-Aid is folr people who can’t afford juice. Can’t someone simply like the taste of Kool-Aid (like me)?
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, is it okay if I don’t hate the Lakers but think Kobe is the epitome of b*tchazzness and needs to go SADDOWN somewhere and think about his life?
@blackberry molasses, I mean hey, Kobe’s blown a few calls off the court. He knows he may never live it down with some people, but he’s bounced back IMO. And he’s held to a higher standard, I get that. It isn’t like he believes Nazi Germany was the world’s greatest regime or something. Come to think of it, he generally keeps his views to himself, even tighter than America’s sweetheart Jordan. I just don’t see where’s he’s this bastidd so many feel he is. Just has NYLTH* written all over him, I guess.
It doesn’t really bother me that people hate the Laker franchise or Kobe….just that those who I have met tended to be weirdos.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“I can’t mess with self-haters. It’s obvious they buy into stereotypes and negative press about their own easily”
This is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t know why its so cool for black folks to talk shet like our race invented crime, poverty or irresponsibility. There’s plenty of foul shet that black ppl disproportionately engage in. No need to throw us the universal shet too.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, People that go right into religion or politics when we first meet/speak/date. What, are you litmus testing me or something? ::hangs up phone::
as argumentative as i am, religion and politics are two areas i generally stay away from. you can’t argue with people about religion, its to personal.
i went on a date with this chick once (such a short date that until you posted that comment i’d forgotten about her) and her first question upon us sitting down to eat was, “do you believe in God?”
now, i knew the date was going to end with me getting Hell points and her hating me, so i said f*ck it.
“no. but i do believe that i was joan of arc in a former life.”
game.set.match.
on a sidenote, i do believe she was the motivation for keshia knight-pulliams character in madea goes to jail.
@Panama Jackson,
“no. but i do believe that i was joan of arc in a former life.”
Hilarious. Did you set flame to your palm, too?
@Me fail english?, naw, i had just quit smoking like 22 years before that so i didnt have a lighter on me
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Oh, and that’s my pops with #8. His weird argument is that Kool-Aid is folr people who can’t afford juice. Can’t someone simply like the taste of Kool-Aid (like me)?”
EXACTLY. The cheapness is the bonus with buying, not necessarily the reason. It’s good as hell ice cold.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Chicks that immediately use derogatory terms to refer to men…oh, I’m not like these other “n*ggas,” eh? Hmmmm, I can see what your general vibration is going to be…time for me to leave well enough alone.”
Almost missed this. My friend (who was 23 at the time, I think) fell in head over heels with an effin 19 year old (!!!) who had a tattoo on her neck that read N.A.S.
What’s it stand for? “Ninjas Aint Shet”. I dunno what’s worse. The fact that the girl was Rican and tatted “ninjas” on her skin (even if it’s an abbreviation). The fact that she was 19 and already bitter as hell. Or the fact that this was excuse for being bisexual.
My friend is a special kinda dude
@Me fail english?, chalk that up to too much of the wrong kind of street influence. People think a lot of this stuff is cute to throw around or subscribe to without examining the deeper meaning.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, I LOVE the LAKER’s though I can not stand 2 of their players as human beings (Odom and Bryant) though as players I respect their game, been a Lakers fan since Magic’s rookie year (primarily because I live in Celtic country and I love to hate the Celtics) though now they have a couple of my favorite players.
Im in a constant LOVE HATE flux
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
co-sign 95%. The Lakers thing is throwing it off a bit. But other than that, LOVE, love, love the list… Especially the NFL as the only valid sports in the world bit. I usually stop the conversation…
And those religious freaks? I act like they don’t exist.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
Oh my, I think I love you. Your list is pretty much my list consolidated and articulated much better than I’d have put it. Except the Lakers things; don’t really care either way.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“Can’t trust Laker haters. Those types are off by default.”
Go Celtics!!
I just don’t like Kobe really.
And before I see y’all during the day….
Cant truss girls who won’t wear sneakers at all (especially supposed heels girls and those who wear open-toed footwear all the time), can’t drive, or have an irrational fear of getting dirty or getting their hair wet. Because when the S hits the fan, I’ll probably die or otherwise be thru with money messin’ with them. Gotta have some survivalist in ya, baby…money and men can’t save you in every situation.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“money and men can’t save you in every situation.”
I don’t really wear tennis shoes (only when working out) but I can still effe someone up in the heels, don’t get it twisted. lol
@Nicki Sunshine, Me neither. I own one pair that I wear to workout in. But you can trust that I have no problem kicking thoes heels off if the situation requires.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
lol@ wearing tennis shoes for survival.
@Me fail english?, hey, sometimes you gotta make a fast break. Good luck doing that in sandals.
I wasn’t saying go for a hike in the woods in Venus Williams’ signature Reeboks. And who wears actual “tennis shoes” anymore? I never got how that term applied to all sneakers.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
“hey, sometimes you gotta make a fast break. Good luck doing that in sandals.”
This visual made me smile. I just fell outta my flip flops on Broadway in Manhattan…in the summer *barf*
I must say, in the beginning of Al’s tribute, I was wondering why he was yelling at me… I was lookin at the TV all cross eyed, like “I ain’t do it Al, I swear!” 5 minutes later, I was just hoping he had a point, and that he’d get to it soon. By the time he got to “Wudn’t nuthin’ strange ’bout yo’ daddy, what he had to DEAL WITH was strange!” and all the related adversity overcometh stuff, I was pleased.
…and Lawd, if that little girl didn’t tear me to pieces. I sobbed aloud after that, and if you didn’t at least feel an itch during that time, I’d like for you to begin the process to reclaim your soul. :-/
Oh yeah, don’t trust people who say, “I love kids, I’m a pro around them!” yet cannot handle the simplest tasks, like taking a bottle out of the fridge and giving it to the kid… WITHOUT the top. That’s what Super Babysitters like me are for.
@Beez, I agree with the Al comment. He ALWAYS sounds like he’s in the height of a sermon.
@Beez,
“was wondering why he was yelling at me… I was lookin at the TV all cross eyed, like “I ain’t do it Al, I swear!”’
LMAO! Tito did it!
Al intimidates the hell out of me. I met him once and thought I was gonna get in trouble. I dont know what for, but Im sure there’d be a whupping behind it. I was 21.
@Me fail english?,
is it just me or does reverend al seem to be losing a ton of weight? he looks less healthy everytime i see him
@The Champ,
Yes and his neck appears to be deflating. I thought it was the Atkins diet but the weight’s been gone awhile.
@The Champ, No, it’s definitely not just you. He’s dropping weight like an amputee
@Me fail english?, Al intimidates the hell out of me. I met him once and thought I was gonna get in trouble. I dont know what for, but Im sure there’d be a whupping behind it. I was 21.
LMAO, At the Congressional Black Caucus this year my mentor introduced me to him, he looked mad as hell throughout the whole intro, then he broke into a smile and took my hand and started praising my “good work”. LOL, I was shook.
@overit,
LOL! Al be pissed, like he just got shot yesterday. You’re right tho, he was nice to me. He has a daughter bout my age.
@Me fail english?,
I loved what he said to MJ’s kids though. He brought the THUNDA!!!
@blackberry molasses,
You talkin’ ’bout the “Yo daddy wasn’t strange, he just dealt with strange things” quote, right?
Because I definitely got off my couch and did a Standing O for that, just like the people who were actually there. Granted, my Standing O didn’t look as triumphant because it was only me, but it was powerful. That was such a great quote.
@Me fail english?,
Al is very intimidating. I sat WAAAY back in my couch when he did the Rev booming voice while giving the MJ tribute speech. I felt like apologizing and I ain’t even do nothin’.
@Beez, i’m not fan of Al, but he did alright with me yesterday. he got people excited and rejoiceful (that a word?) you always need somebody at the funeral like that to kind of break up the monotony of the sad-ass-tributes.
i was a fan of Al yesterday.
btw, via IM convo with Liz:
Panama Jackson: i was wondering how in the world anybody would be able to follow Al Sharpton
weeping-white-girl definitely did the trick. (brooke shields)
Liz: lol
People who say:-
* “I ain’t one to gossip” :Brace yourself for a veritable Noah’s flood- like avalanche of back biting, scurrilous and miscellaneous info about people who were minding their own business
“I don’t usually do this”: They have. Repeatedly. Sometimes on public transportation.
*”OMG! This has never happened before”: Riiighhhht.
* “You’re the [biggest/tightest] and variations thereof”: They have. And they will again. Not necessarily with you.
* “I tapped that and that, and that” by 30+ years old people: Older folk who talk about, obsess, bore you silly with tales of how they got the keety or the peenis. Shouldn’t the novelty have worn off by then?
* “I’m soooo over him”: Opening line to 60 minutes of excruciating, tedious conversation about how s/he did him wrong.
****Minority on VSB statment begins here***
-People who don’t love the NE Patriots.
***Minority on VSB Statement Ends* ***
- People who don’t love Beyonce.
@Wanjiru, I agree about the Beyonce part or has the nerve to just say something about her that just simply ain’t true…like “she ain’t all that cute”or “she can’t sing.” It’s not like the facts that prove the contrary aren’t available to everyone in the whole wide world. This is not CSI.
@Treezy F. Baby,
About to say the “unthinkable”:
She can’t sing. She hollers. She’s one of those folks that think hollering means you can blow. She has a decent pop voice, but she ain’t all that she’s cracked up to be.
The lady is GORGEOUS though…I ain’t even gonna lie.
@Wanjiru,
I don’t love Beyonce. Sorry folks. She sings her ass off and after watching clips of her really singing and dancing at the same time, she has my utmost respect. But until she makes a song with some replay value (No, I dont still bump Irreplaceable or Upgrade U!)…love don’t live here.
@Me fail english?,
thank.you.
@Me fail english?, whoa the f*ck up.
you’re telling me that you DON’T listen to “bootylicious” – the most important song of the 21st century – on repeat..daily?!?!?!
@Panama Jackson, no. that’s only for karaoke.
@overit,
And gay clubs.
@Me fail english?, I’d appreciate if women stop biting Beyonce’s steelo. Beyonce borders on the ridiculous with some of he looks, and is only able to pull them off because of her advance bootyliciousness. The less well-endowed need to fall back from the Dereon looks.
@Wanjiru,
“OMG! This has never happened before”
If I had a penny for every time Champ said this to me. lol
Black men with no bass in their voice
I gotta disagree. Mike Tyson’s voice is feathery soft (Cha-cha-charmin soft. Andddd, he lisps!). And add Aaron Neville to that soprano-1 mix too.
@Wanjiru, LMBO! And Mike is still terrifying.
@Wanjiru,
I dont trust Iron Mike far as I can throw him! And I cant throw him far.
@Wanjiru, wait…you TRUST Mike Tyson?!!?! he has pigeons. that’s the certified pet of a crazy person.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO!
I’ve said this before but it bears repeating…
-dudes who talk too fast. I always feel like they’re trying to get over.
Major co-sign on weak handshakes. Eff outta here with that isht…
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
-dudes who talk too fast. I always feel like they’re trying to get over.
***nodding head***
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
Oh so true! Something about a fast talker just screams “lies all lies”! I tend to tune them out.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
“-dudes who talk too fast. I always feel like they’re trying to get over. ”
You probably wouldnt trust NYers…Then again, who really does.
@Me fail english?,
“never trust grimy ass new yorkers”
- Jay-Z, himself
They don’t even trust each other…
@Me fail english?, People say I talk really fast:( You can trust me, LOL.
I always thought it was cause I speak other languages, and those are fast, and it translates to English…
@overit,
you do talk really fast. but i still trust ya, because you are my e-chile.
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro, so i guess you dont trust pimps.
sad. so sad.
pimps are everything that’s right with the black community.
The weak handshake has caused many confused looks in my life. I hate when a man doesn’t put any bones behind his handshake causing me to look him in the eye and wonder where he left his man-purse.
Couldn’t quite stand behind the interracial dating thing (dodges eggs, lettuce and empty kool-aid glasses) yeah, I know. But I don’t think everyone who finds love with someone from a different ethnicity is a race chaser. But there are brothers out there like that, and I know one at my job who will get very Al Sharpton and swear up and down he doesn’t like black women (even though his mother is from Africa, sad isn’t it?). Now those brothers, I can’t stand.
@OnlyNegroSyndrome,
welcome and sh*t
@OnlyNegroSyndrome, i gots no beef with interracial love. i’m a product of it.
i have a product with people who ONLY seek out people of another race. if you fall in love with a white/black/caublasian that’s fine. but if you rebuke your own race in search of only people of a different race, that’s a problem. how do you exclusively count out from whence you came?!?!?
@Panama Jackson, Brainwashing. Pure and simple. That’s why we call him “White Mike”.
@OnlyNegroSyndrome,
Everyone keeps on mentioning men with weak handshakes but what about women with them?!? I can’t stand a woman with a weak handshake!
THE B.E.T. Awards
Bob Johnson couldn’t make me turn it off, getting rid of Donnie Simpson and dem from Video Soul couldn’t make me turn it off, Cita’s lame ass couldn’t do it, that horribly weak arsed WIRE reruns (honestly, if you gonna cut all the violence and whatnot out of it that much, why bother having it on at all? Not that I am a big fan of the show to start with) those damn THEA reruns almost did it though but that diabolical sh*tstew of a “tribute” that noone asked you fools to do but you did anyway, was the final straw for me. I blocked the channel and I hope you all die of Scurvy and Anal Ricketts.
@T. Troy Stewart, that horribly weak arsed WIRE reruns (honestly, if you gonna cut all the violence and whatnot out of it that much, why bother having it on at all? Not that I am a big fan of the show to start with)
serious question here…how can you NOT be a big fan of the show? are you a litte fan? is your fan the size of a MLK funeral home fan? or an electric fan from CVS?
do you like it at all?
im confrused b/c its generally considered one of the better shows, across the board. so its rare that i come across somebody who’s seen it and doesnt really care for it. just curious.
@Panama Jackson, initially I loved it…I still say that Season 2 was the best Wire season ever.
But in Season 3, I got to thinking that there are a grip of great black actors on this show and if it wasn’t for the show, we wouldn’t have known about the majority of them and that’s sad.
I’m glad that a lot of them are working post-Wire (I’m mad that L&O didn’t find someway to transfer Lester to NYC the way they did Munch from HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS).
while it was about B’more, the focus was primarily on the bad element of the city (the thugs)…how many times are we going to see this? Black America is more than this, we all prove it everyday. But the mainstream never knows this unless they come across it accidentally.
Take yesterday with Paris Jackson. 2520 America was stunned to the core that:
1) a crazy, possibly criminal black man raised such well behaved children
2) that she loved her “Daddy” who treated her like a princess.
as if we’re incapable of raising children and showing affection and love for one another.
which leads me back to THE WIRE…for all the great black actors on that show, would it have killed them to show the only black relationship that was strong (Lester and his girl, I forget her name with her sexy self)? Bunk was a hoe, so was Shakima, the other brothas in the unit, did they even have a life after work? I’m just saying…they showed black folks killing, raping, robbing, stealing, backstabbing, betraying, etc…etc…etc…all kinds of thing but some of the real good stuff that each and every one of us strives for in our own way.
I’m sorry, I forgot, there were some instances of genuine affection going on…with Omar and his quest to avenge Brandon, Daniels and the DA (after he got dumped by Marla for not advancing fast enough for her tastes) and McNulty and Bodie
I also thought that the writers strayed away from reality even moreso with McNulty and Omar. I swear to God that I expected the Guardians Of Oa to come to Earth and personally give Omar a Green Lantern’s ring, that’s how cartoon anti heroic I thought he had become. Bunk and Lester should have killed McNulty and threw his body in one of those rundowns where Snoop and Chris were dumping folks.
I’m sorry for rambling….
@T. Troy Stewart, season 2 was my least favorite….by far
“I got to thinking that there are a grip of great black actors on this show and if it wasn’t for the show, we wouldn’t have known about the majority of them and that’s sad” – isn’t that a good thing though. actors gotta start somewhere. young michael all up in 90210 right now, playing a totally different character, which speaks both to his acting prowess, and contradicts the negative stereotype he played in the wire.
“the focus was primarily on the bad element of the city (the thugs)…how many times are we going to see this? Black America is more than this, we all prove it everyday” – i see what you’re saying, but if they made a show about happy folks skipping rocks in the baltimore harbor all d@mn day, i wouldn’t watch it. the wire was what it was, a show about baltimore, all aspects of the city. each season tackled a different issue, real life stuff that real cities deal with.
and on the whole relationship thing, it wasn’t supposed to be the cosby show. the reality is, people is out there ho’ing. bunk was a hoe, mcnulty was a hoe, keema was a hoe, they didn’t discriminate, they showed hoedom of all races and sexualities. and they didn’t dig deep into the personal life of herc or the other two black dudes (can’t remember their names right now) because they weren’t main characters of the show. i don’t care if herc had a life after work…
co-sign people who weren’t moved by at least some part of the MJ tribute. Me? Boo-hooed like that was MY daddy. Paris Jackson tore my heart out of my chest. But I’m still a thug. RIP MJJ.
co-sign on North Korea. Kim Jong Il don’t curl even part of the way over. Add Tajikstan to that. They’re even more isolationist than North Korea. Their leader changed the names of the months to the names of his FAMILY. “January will henceforth be known as Pookie.” Oh and the military junta of Myanmar. We have a ridiculous influx of Burmese refugees (with good reason) thanks to them.
Anyone who made disparaging comments about MJ at any point yesterday in the guise of “keeping it real”. Really? That’s how you roll? You gonna mention your daddy had 4 outside kids and bad credit during his eulogy, too ? F outta here.
Dallas Cowboys fans that ain’t from Dallas or any part of Texas. You dayum turncoat.
Middle aged 2520 males. I’m sorry, but something about them gives me the straight up heebie jeebies. I can deal with the young ones because they either have an overwrought sense of entitlement or are overly sympathetic, or are just trying to hard to fit in (awww). Older ones just don’t give a fluck and will speak their mind. You KNOW what they think of you. Middle aged ones… just seem… disingenuous.
*oh and did anyone see the MJ Special on E!? I have mixed feelings about it… mainly because they showed Tom Sneddon. Remember him? The prosecutor that wanted to put MJ UNDER the jail. They showed Martin Bashir too. There is a SPECIAL spot reserved in the Hot Place for him. I’ll hand him some kerosene boxers for the trip.*
@blackberry molasses, I’m normally really hOrd, but Paris choked me up a bit.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“hOrd”
HAHAHHA!
@Me fail english?, LOL. Like the Californians say it.
@blackberry molasses,
“Middle aged 2520 males. ”
Mmmhmm, yes! I see a bulk of them on my train ride home with their pretentious voices and their briefcase and their “Hi, Jer!” (short for Jerry, I hate that mess) greetings.
@Cheekie,
LOL. They’ll shorten any name.
@Me fail english?,
I know..and I was struggling to describe their voice and I finally came up with it: The boss from “Office Space” that says “…mmmkaaaay” after every work request. HATE with the passion of a thousand splendid suns.
@Cheekie,
Bill Lumburgh.
@blackberry molasses,
Yes. 40 cool points added to your total for knowing that.
@blackberry molasses, Anyone who made disparaging comments about MJ at any point yesterday in the guise of “keeping it real”. Really? That’s how you roll? You gonna mention your daddy had 4 outside kids and bad credit during his eulogy, too ? F outta here.
i had to check a few folks in my office on some…”too soon, homey. too soon. give it a week, THEN we can discuss you talking ill of MJ. he’s dead now. shut the f*ck up.”
@Panama Jackson, i had to check my cousin’s in laws at our 4th of July cookout, I didnt care it wasnt my house and we decided to play an MJ tribute eff your life if you cant appreciate good music go deaf!
@blackberry molasses,
Dallas Cowboys fans that ain’t from Dallas or any part of Texas. You dayum turncoat.
I’m not one, but I’ll logically play devil’s advocate here. In the days before these leagues expanded to enough corners of the country, teams like the Cowboys, St. Louis Cardinals, Dodgers and Lakers were who was made available in their market to follow, even if they were literally 1000 miles away. Carried on the local radio station or on WTBS or something. That’s how you had Braves fans in Miami and Cowboys fans in Tennessee, Dodger fans in Vegas and Phoenix and all that. Up until the late 80s when moving and expansion fever went crazy.
Now if you live in and grew up in, say, NYC, Chicago, or Boston or some other place that was always well stocked with local pro sports, then you’re suspect to me…and that *ss will have some ‘splainin’ to do…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
” 1000 miles away”
I just had so much trouble reading “one thousand”. First I read “a thousand miles away”, which sounded grammatically incorrect (even though it is). Then I read it as “ten, oh, oh”. Then “one, oh, hundred”. FML.
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
okay… I’ll give you that. But Cowboys fans who are Philly/DC/NYC natives…. I don’t trust them ninjas atall
This is ironic since my BFF is a Cowgirls fan who was raised in Philly. I can understand her Giants fandom (she married into it) but both the Cowgirls and the Giants???
I don’t talk to her during football season
@blackberry molasses, yeah, that is irksome. People that like to be contrarian douchebags, like to be the NYLTH (niyuh you love to hate, forgot to explain that earlier up), pretty much like to hate on whatever gives their friends or the locals joy.
Now there are some cases where folks became fans of teams you wouldn’t expect and have some pretty cool stories behind it…sometimes for instance, a team can capture one’s oimagination and that’s what’s up ‘em, which I can understand. All these diehard fans of those wack *ss, carpetbagging Raiders here in SoCal come from that team stealing their hearts when they were here, and I’ve made peace with that.
…but I’m holding out for a team that plays IN this town! I’m good until then.
@blackberry molasses,
Middle aged 2520 males
Funny enough most of my colleagues fall into this category and I get along with them rather swimmingly… Their female counterparts though, that’s another story (or a Texas ‘twang thang).
@blackberry molasses,
Wrong stan. It’s Turkmenistan not Tajikistan. They changed all the crazy back after the leader, Turkmenbash aka Saparmurat Niyazov, died a few years back.
Central Asia is my graduate area of concentration.
Damn. didn’t even hear that he died. We were probably too wrapped up in holidays to hear about it. Glad he’s gone, because all authoritarian dictators are creeps. You don’t rule based on your personal tastes and whims (e.g. banning television throughout the country)
1. Women who rock unnatural hair colors: There is something strange about a woman with Kool-Aid red or blueberry hair… (This may be a southern thing)
2. Vegetarians: How can u NOT like a big ole piece of meat? AND STOP SIDE EYE-ING ME AS I DEVOUR MINE!
3. Mannish Les women: This weekend a les hit on me…. I was with my man (but he was a bit of a distance away)… anywho, she was more aggressive than a DUDE. (She is not the first one. lol) It made me nervous.
@Nicki Sunshine,
How can u NOT like a big ole piece of meat?
I have to have this on a t-shirt!!!!
@miss t-lee, Man, that was a double entendre like a muh.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yep!!! And you said it, I’m proud of ya chick!
@miss t-lee, LOL. Why thank u ver’ much.
@Nicki Sunshine,
“3. Mannish Les women: This weekend a les hit on me…. I was with my man (but he was a bit of a distance away)… anywho, she was more aggressive than a DUDE. (She is not the first one. lol) It made me nervous.”
This is TOO true. They have MAD balls (or covet them, at least). I’ve never seen someone so confident with their mack approach.
@Cheekie, I had told my man about it after she left, he was like I don’t know if I should be mad or laugh. lol
She was a BEAST….
She walked up to me (with a crew of chicks) and was like, “what’s up with yo sexy a&&.. Dayum u sexy…” And it caught me off guard, so I was like, “hey you doing.” and then I thought, “hold on is this girl hitting on me?” SLOW TICKET FOR ME.
Then she asked me if I was coming with them, I said, No, I’m with my man, and she said SO WHAT U CAN STILL COME.. and kept on persisting as she walked away. I practically ran over to him with my head down like a puppy.
If there was a camera, I swear everyone would be laughing at me.
@Nicki Sunshine,
HAHAHAHA! I know that situation all too well. You ain’t lyin’…they are straight up beasts. They have like no pride…well, gay pride, but not that other kinda pride. Don’t care if you reject them or not.
@Cheekie & Nicki Sunshine,
Let’s just say your pain is felt. Here’s a dedication:
http://stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/27-thuggish-ruggish-lesbians/
@Cheekie, LMBO. Exactly!!!!
@Nicki Sunshine, 3. Mannish Les women: This weekend a les hit on me…. I was with my man (but he was a bit of a distance away)… anywho, she was more aggressive than a DUDE. (She is not the first one. lol) It made me nervous.
you know, i actually got hit on by a butch lesbian once. strangest experience ever. took me at least 2 minutes to figure out what had just happened. me and my boy were looking at eachother with the confusion of 12 white men in Anacostia Park in DC trying to find a team to play ultimate frisbee against.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO. That’s so weird!!! What did you do?
@Nicki Sunshine, i’m pretty sure i didnt say or do much of anything as i was trying to figure out if the butch lez chick just tried to holler at me.
knowing me though, we probalby just took a shot and called it a day.
@Panama Jackson, 12 white men in Anacostia Park in DC trying to find a team to play ultimate frisbee against.
lmaaoo.
@overit,
Sadly that’s not so wierd anymore…
I totally co-sign 9 and 13. Well said sir.
@D. Strangejazz, thank you sir.
A friend of mine was demoted to “just some cat on the street” status after I found out he had never seen “Coming To America” even after I allowed him to borrow the DVD. Over the years he had laughed at “Coming to America” references, and the revelation that he had never seen the movie mad me realize that his laughter was not genuine. If a man’s laughter is not genuine, he is not genuine.
Homie has also never seen “The Last Dragon”, “The Mack”, “The Color Purple”, “School Daze”, or “New Jack City”.
A council was convened and he was stripped of his Blackness.
@Legendary Dash,
a pox on this cat’s ENTIRE EXISTENCE. you were right to revoke his Black Card.
And I feel you about non-genuine laughter. Add to that crocodile tears and faux smiles. Stop it already. Go find your soul.
@Legendary Dash,
Yes, his card is gone! What type is ish is that? He ain’t seen NONE of the classics?!?!?
@Legendary Dash,
“Homie has also never seen “The Last Dragon”, “The Mack”, “The Color Purple”, “School Daze”, or “New Jack City”.”
Dayum did he grow up UNDER a rock?
@miss t-lee, “Dayum did he grow up UNDER a rock?”
I consider Orlando a rock.
We tried to hold a film festival so his Blackness could be completed, but he was offended by the concept and no-showed. That was the last straw.
@Legendary Dash,
LOL@ yall staging an intervention. He’ll have to hit rock bottom first. Cant save a man, wont save himself.
I know cuz I saw “New Jack City”.
@Legendary Dash,
Oh this kat is FIRED!!!
@Legendary Dash,
You may have to check that one for a belly button…
@Legendary Dash, that dude might be the least Black person in AMerica.
even white people have seen “the color purple”
hell white people have seen it so much, they go to see the broadway play now.
Coming To America is required Black viewing. i believe that if your parents dont let you see it, they are depriving you of a significant chunk of Blackness.
i mean…that movie is the equivalent of Jay’s career: quotable after quotable…
Lil’ Kim
Woman, I am tired of the Thriller Werewolf In Mid-Transformation look you been sporting. Grow some fangs and claws already
@T. Troy Stewart,
As much as her look is scary@me, I really think Kim might have a touch of Body Dysmorphic…. nah, she just want to look like a Black Barbie. I remember her saying that.
Kim… you went OVER. You missed Skipper, Barbie and went straight to Anime character.
@blackberry molasses,
Yeah my heart is broken for Kim. Someone failed this child terribly.
@blackberry molasses, we all had issues about our skin color growing up…I feel her on this.
I just wish I could talk to the lady and be her friend, something, anything because I don’t think she has that in her life or else she wouldn’t look so sad and lost in the eyes.
@blackberry molasses, Dead @ the mention of “Skipper.”
@T. Troy Stewart,
What makes me so sad and angry at her is that she was a cute chick before all that mess she did to herself, IMO.
@Cheekie, she was! That was some fione midget black woman
@T. Troy Stewart,
fione midget black woman
***Dead***
@T. Troy Stewart, i prefer the lil kim from the Notorious movie with the heavenly knockers.
@Panama Jackson,
so you prefer naturi naughton?
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall…., don’t you?!
@Panama Jackson,
yes! she was the best thing about
notorious3LW. too bad ‘lil kim doesn’t realize that she was not born with her current face…i heard she thought C. Milian would have been a better choice than naturi…smh.@N.I.A.,
Current face?! Kim aint never hardly resemble no Milian. That’s when I really started to realize she had a problem. When she started talkin that Asian/Milian bullshet
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall…. ,
“i heard she thought C. Milian would have been a better choice than naturi…smh.”
SMH, indeed. Of course she would say that ish. *sigh*
@Panama Jackson, indeed, something about Naturi Naughton…she almost ALMOST made me buy that 3LW album back in the day…
Grown People Who Still Eat Ramen Noodles
come on, you should have left that stuff back at Delaware State and you get the side eye if you use Hamburger Helper more than once a month.
@T. Troy Stewart, Did you just say Delaware State? Awesome.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“Grown People Who Still Eat Ramen Noodles”
I haven’t had some Ramen in eons (i.e. since college, which wasn’t too long ago but feels like it), but I used to hook mine up with hot sauce without the soup juice. lol
@T. Troy Stewart,
i don’t trust any black person who eats or feeds their children kraft macaroni and cheese…
…And if you’re from the south and do this you need to kill yourself.
@Omar, The 2520s in my dorm once gave me a packet of it bc I was hungry… I was like, so this is all yaw eat? LOL. This was the first time ever for me. IT’s a side dish in my home.
@Omar,
“i don’t trust any black person who eats or feeds their children kraft macaroni and cheese…”
Me either. Maybe I’m spoilt due to my aunt/sister’s BOMB-arse homemade mac ‘n cheese, but I refuse to eat ANY box macaroni like Kraft and Velveeta. It’s not called mac n’ cheese-like, it’s mac n’ cheese. REAL cheese. It’s gotta be baked homemade mac n’ cheese or your entire meal will receive a figurative throat punch.
@T. Troy Stewart,
Grown People Who Still Eat Ramen Noodles
My law-abiding parents will find gun runners to buy AK’s from and come looking for you if they read this statement. It’s proudly part of their life-long strange diets.
People who say that Ice-T acting was great in NEW JACK CITY
“I wanna shoot you so bad, my d*ck’s hard!”
That line was wack to start with and then you had lame Ice-T delivering it? I wanted somebody, anybody to shoot Scotty Appleton. This was the movie that started my hatred of rapper turned actors.
@T. Troy Stewart, has anybody ever said this? like in real life?
Ice T is a terrible actor in everything he does.
he’s also a terrible rapper.
@Panama Jackson, the only time I ever rooted for the po-po was when Ice-T was pushing “Cop Killer”
@T. Troy Stewart,
I owned that cd….I think I still might…lol
@miss t-lee, me too, thinking it would be a collector’s item.
I only listened to it once ever. No one would care at all if I sold it today. I could probably just throw it away without even ripping it at this point. One can almost not even believe the witch hunt kind of stink the authorities made over music by Black artists in the early 90s.
Hilarious. The “pussydap” thing is great. One thing I do notice though is the regional differences in what a dap actually entails. When I moved to DC a lot of Howard folk were snapping their fingers at the end of each dap which I thought was a little too “Men On Film” so I never f’ed with it…people were mad but oh well Im not a hairdresser and my name isn’t Delicious. I like the strong handclap followed by firm grip around the thumbs and bring it in for a fist on the back. Keep it gully. lol
@shakashawshow,
I shoulda been born white, cuz dap is too got damn complicated for me. When I was younger dudes used to dap, grip, and then give an up, down and meet in the middle pound. Where they do that at???
@Me fail english?,
The “Where they do that at???” got me! Where are you from!??! LMAO! You have to be from the extreme South. I thought that was only said here.
@Reci,
lol. Im from NYC. Sowwy.
@Me fail english?,
singing..”reunited and it feels so good!”
we used to do that in Oakland too…
@Happy Meal,
E-twin! Where you been at man?! I feel like Marlon Jackson and you Brandon
@Me fail english?,
“…I feel like Marlon Jackson and you Brandon”
its too soon, yo. Too soon, lmao!
@8th,
Brandon been gone. I could have him
@shakashawshow, Please do not put Howards ways on the District thats a small campus off Georgia Ave in NW with most NOT being Washingtonians or even from the area..altho we do have a very high suspect quotient out this mofo SMH LOL
@OrangeStar616, glad you acknowledge the suspect quotient. its on burnt-orange terror alert status in DC.
@shakashawshow, i also don’t trust men who use the word Delicious in everyday convo.
there really is no “straight” way to say that word.
g’head. try it.
don’t you feel a little gayer now?
NTTAWWT.
@Panama Jackson, I use delicious all the time. But I get a pass because it is generally used to describe woman, and coupled with the term shawty.
@Legendary Dash, not sure if giving yourself a pass counts.
@Panama Jackson, Delicious and scrumptious are acceptable words to describe the female form. Using it to describe the hummus you just copped borders on suspect.
What does bad case of Ajax mean?
Cant rinse the blue off?
I dont get that one
@flamboyantchiq,
Wants to bleach their skin and be white.
@Me fail english?,
@ your earlier comment,
I been workin like a hebrew slave, and Now I’m at home sick for a week…so I got plenty catch-up time!
@Me fail english?,
thanks for the break down…still dont get it
ajax is blue
@flamboyantchiq,
LOL. I made it up. No one can demystify Pan-Pan’s labyrinth
@Me fail english?,
“No one can demystify Pan-Pan’s labyrinth”
Oooh, nice.
Dang, of all the nicknames for our brothas who are very smart, this may be the most brilliant.
@flamboyantchiq,
welcome and sh*t
@The Champ,
thanks and sh*t
@flamboyantchiq, i dont know what it means either.
i just hadnt said “ajax” in a while. so i did.
welcome to my brain.
@Panama Jackson,
oh ok. as long as it’s not me
and thanks for the reminder, i hate ajax
this is the only cleaning product my mama would buy
it would take 80 rinse outs before i could run my bathwater and i would still sit in blue water
@flamboyantchiq,
In addition to the bleach thang, ain’t the company that controls how we edit our comments here at VSB? I coulda swore I saw “Ajax Edit” during the 590 times I have to edit typos and stuff.
@Cheekie, it was 592 times that you had to edit typos and stuff…but who’s counting?
@Panama Jackson,
Thanks. *puts that number in my records*
-Men who don’t drink beer. Dog, they brew beer in every country in the world. There’s a ni**a in Darfur right now ducking gunfire and grenades to pick some choice hops. And you’re too good for anything but Zima? hmmm.
-Women who don’t like to suck d*ck. If it’s a chore for you or something you’d rather not do, something’s up with you.
-Women with big ass Louis bags and sunglasses on in the mall/club. That’s an untrustworthy outfit. It’s the uniform of the “break you for your cheese” Special Forces. I hold on to my wallet tighter when I see them coming.
-People from the South who speak proper English. There’s something off-putting about a dude from Bimingham or Fuquay-Varina that sounds like he’s the Lord of Windsor. Like that ni**a will stab you in the back and then rape your corpse.
@Brandon St. Randy,
-People from the South who speak proper English.
HEY!!!!!!
@Brandon St. Randy,
“Like that ni**a will stab you in the back and then rape your corpse.”
BWAHAHAHA!
@Brandon St. Randy,
LOL! first of all, what you know about Fuquay?!
second, i speak proper english, i just don’t write it….lol!!
@Brandon St. Randy, “-Women who don’t like to suck d*ck. If it’s a chore for you or something you’d rather not do, something’s up with you.”
……..Cosign
@Legendary Dash,
i feel the same about men who don’t lick the kitty and make it purr….
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
co-sign
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
Do those men still exist?
@Legendary Dash,
Unfortunately they do… but to the hopes of all that lives, they are a dying breed.
@Brandon St. Randy,
“break you for your cheese” Special Forces
Bwahahahaha!
Folks who claim they don’t read for leisure…wha–? Effyolifeouttahere with that!
Dudes who want holla/get your number but don’t have as much as a home phone for an even exchange–oh, no ya don’t! No babymamapocalypse for the kid!
Homie has also never seen “The Last Dragon”, “The Mack”, “The Color Purple”, “School Daze”, or “New Jack City”.
Blasphemy! Can’t truss it!
Blue foods.–I had a run-in with a Nehi Blue Cream soda when I was 8 and let’s just say you haven’t lived until you’ve seen blue vomit.
Kats that don’t watch sports-We discussed this before…lol
People who are forever on a diet—which is like 90% of these 2520 chicks I work with. One just told me last week that she wasn’t eating any gluten for 2 months. I asked her if she was allergic, and she said no.
Me: blank stare.
Oh yeah on the MJ memorial–I got a little leaky eye during Stevie, J. Hud, Jermaine and of course Paris Katherine. By then, I was no mo’ good here at the J.
@miss t-lee, Paris had Jews and Muslims on the Gaza Strip holding one another and crying
@T. Troy Stewart, lol. for a day there was peace. tomorrow…we fight!
I don’t want nobody to start throwing bottles at me but what does “2520″ mean?
@T. Troy Stewart,
white. to expound, it stands for the 25th (y) and 20th (t) letters of the alphabet. if you put them together and pronounce them individually “yt”, it sounds like you’re saying “white”
@The Champ, okay, I knew about YT LOL, the 2520 was messing with me though…thanks
@T. Troy Stewart, the 25th letter of the alphabet and the 20th letter of the alphabet. Say it together.
@T. Troy Stewart,
i was about to ask, but i’m pretty sure they mean caucasian folk.
could someone explain the 2520 reference tho?
@T. Troy Stewart,
So, now that you know this glorious term (2520), I hearby need you to start using it on the daily or I will not trust you. It rolls off the tongue.
I used it at least twice at the Taste of Chicago and beaming to myself that YT didn’t have a clue as to what I was referring to…they probably brushed it off as some inside joke. But, just wait ’til they find it at their godsend: urbandictionary.com. lol
@Cheekie, when Tonto called The Lone Ranger “kemosabe” I just knew he was calling him “2520″ in Cherokee.
@T. Troy Stewart,
Yeah, that term goes way back to the Ice Age.
@Cheekie, a down-side note about Urban Dictionary is that folks will go define a term in a way that totally destroys what nature intended…and it will be the top vote getter!
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
That is SO true. But, there are so many 2520s that rely on it and deem it gospel.
@Cheekie,
Please tell me 2520 isn’t in there. The jig will be up and I’ll no longer be able to mock people mercilessly…
@BBMO, LOL sure is, I just went there to check and
“2520 – 1 definition – Means white dude or white people. The 25th letter is Y The 20th letter is T put them together you get YT=whitey.”
@BBMo
Yeah, when I found out it was there, I felt like a part of black culture died. Why can’t we have nuffin?! And I BET a 2520 heard about it and rushed to put it on there. Either that or an e-Uncle Tom.
i cant trust big women with small feet. theres just something strange about a chick thats a size 24 still rocking kid sizes from foot locker. i don’t give a damn how short you are. somethings up there.
i don’t trust grown men with small hands.
and you can get as offended as you like, but i don’t trust puerto ricans. esp the age groups from 12-21 and 65 and up. something shady about them. blame my brooklyn upbringing.
@MrsVboy1 aka shay,
i also cant trust ppl who dont like gummi bears or sprinkles. i think they are missing a soul.
@MrsVboy1 aka shay,
OMG, my sister ALWAYS teases me for liking gummi bears. Says they’re baby candy. So the eff what. I have a baby face. Thus, justified.
@Cheekie,
Mayne please!
Them Hairbo jumps go hard…they are the only gummi bears I’ll eat.
@miss t-lee,
YES.
Random & Weird Cheekie Fact of the Day:
I like to put mine in the fridge before eating them.
@ Cheekie ,
Yes ma’am.
@MrsVboy1 aka shay,
I cannot tell a lie I neither of those have graced my taste buds in years.
@MrsVboy1 aka shay,
welcome and sh*t
@MrsVboy1 aka shay, so you don’t trust PR in their formative and retirement years?!?!
that’s hilarious.
People from NYC who still brag about having the best rappers
until Diddy moves to Canada and renounces his American citizenship…STFU!
@T. Troy Stewart,
Not for nothing, but Diddy aint really from NYC. He was born in Harlem, but he lived in Mt. Vernon from the time he was 3.
Also, you’re wrong.
@Me fail english?, where Diddy livin’ currently LOL
@T. Troy Stewart,
Everybody who lives in NYC aint from here. Esp. Manhattan. I’d venture to guess MOST Manhattanites arent natives.
@Me fail english?, love that NYC pride.
lol. how about we up it then. DJ Webstar. i KNOW he’s from harlem.
@Panama Jackson,
Webstar is uh…
*throat punch*
@Me fail english?,
add to the list, people who claim a certain location but have no ties to that place.
i.e. people claiming atlanta and walkin around yelling “atl shaudy”, when they just moved there 2 weeks ago.
you lose.
@Chas, i’m guessing this happens with Brooklyn a lot.
@Panama Jackson,
Yes it does!
@T. Troy Stewart,
you know I e-loves you, right? I do.
but….
Jeebs be a SINGLE comment thread for you. You doing a WuDaMan (luv u Wu) revival with these comments.
@blackberry molasses, I hear ya…
@T. Troy Stewart, one more thing and I’ll be quiet…
I’ve been on many message boards over the years but the number of places where people of color can discuss things without drama and people with major egos are few and very far between…
VSB is a cool place and run by cool folks who actually interact with everyone like it’s no big thing and the people who frequent here are just as smooth.
I get comfortable here and forget my manners and just blab blab blab…
what I am really saying is…IT’S ALL YOU ALL’S FAULT
lol
@T. Troy Stewart,
in light of the glowing commentary… carry on.
@T. Troy Stewart, ah thanks.
here, at VSB, we believe the children are our future.
we also believe that if we all heal the world, we can make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race…
…which includes me and you, your momma and your cousin too.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“IT’S ALL YOU ALL’S FAULT”
LOL!!
@T. Troy Stewart, awwwwwww thank ya!
****GROUP HUG****
@T. Troy Stewart,
“IT’S ALL YOU ALL’S FAULT ”
I love how redundantly lovely this statement is.
And I automatically e-loved you, T. Troy. From the jump. Your first comment here was hilarious. Beautiful first impression.
@ T. Troy Stewart, “People from NYC who still brag about having the best rappers”
blasphemy . . . this is from a brooklynite stuck in DC (which is pretty much the south to me . . . sue me). The south’s take over of rap is the reason I only listen to R&B and Salsa . . . oh and Jay of course. Everything else is WACK! stanky leg?? Really? Turn my Swag on? What??
@T. Troy Stewart,
“People from NYC who still brag about having the best rappers”
Arguably I think NY lost that title 10-11 years ago.
@kidSistah:
People with pre-paid phones. Just something shady bout it. Bad credit? Can’t commit to a contract? So these calls don’t show up on your family plan?Hmmm
I’ll see your quote and raise you… prepaid phones/plans with no n/w option [included or otherwise]. that alone is suss for me.
As far as the MJ tribute goes, it was a nice service. When Paris came up, however, at the same time, someone threw a piece of paper that, struck my eye. This resulted in a tear rolling down my face n what-not. See? It was a coincidence.
Co-sign on:
1 – can anything be done if you’re 40 and sound like you haven’t hit puberty yet?
2 – Don’t make me feel like I’m shaking hands with Mr. Burns.
5 – I read Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye” and have come to the conclusion these people are just sad.
9 – There’s a reason its called the Diaspora. Somewhere, some of us are doing quite alright.
12 – After reruns everywhere, you really have no excuse.
13 – Yes, you have no soul.
Also, the ‘Trust Me” people, skinny jean wearing ninjas, vegans (because they want to beat you over the head with it), and BET.
I can’t trust people who say ‘like, you know’
Women who can’t cook. At all. You have 8 degrees but can’t make a pot of instant grits?
People who think the Cubs are the default Chicago baseball team. Like NY, LA, and Texas, we have two.
@maximillian, the White Sox have been dead to me since they got rid of Tony LaRussa
@maximillian,
People who think the Cubs are the default Chicago baseball team. Like NY, LA, and Texas, we have two.
THANK YOU!!! Dang, we won a World Series in the 21st century and still can’t get any love. Cubs haven’t won one since slavery was abolished…
@maximillian, wait..there’s TWO teams in Chicago?!?!!
@Panama Jackson,
Yessir. And the rivalry is BRUTAL.
@maximillian,
“People who think the Cubs are the default Chicago baseball team. Like NY, LA, and Texas, we have two.”
THANK YOU. As a southside Chi-towner (South-siii-iiide!) this irks me to no end. Why don’t the new sparkly tourists don’t want to the White Sox field…it’s always all about Wrigley. Does Wrigley have a huge banner in THIS century waving on their stadium? NOOOOOOO.
Seriously though, I’m not even that much baseball fan, but this irks me since the Sox are way more relevant in terms of actually winning big things in recent years.
#4 and #5-ON THE MONEY! I swear! Those gotta be my fav’s!
One thing I don’t trust? This just came to me during the past week or so-when I was doing some of the dance routine to “Thriller,” my boy looked at me like I was crazy! I said, “you don’t know the ‘Thriller’ routine?” He said, “naw!” Like, something was wrong with me! I was like “wait, not even three bars worth of the routine?” He said “man naw!” I hit the brakes (because I was driving at the time) and asked “what type of ________ are you if you don’t know any of the THRILLER ROUTINE?!?!” LOL! I still don’t look at him the same!
@As Is,
LMAO! I’m mad you was doing the Thriller routine WHILE you were driving!
I cant trust ppl who multitask and drive
@Me fail english?,
i can’t trust people who DON’T multitask and drive….lol
@Chas, Major co-sign
@Me fail english?, that’s cuz you can probably only singletask and drive.
i choreographed the entire janet jackson rhythm nation tour from behind the wheel of my car.
nevermind that i was like 8 at the time or that i’m totally lying.
@Panama Jackson,
LOL!
I know alot of ppl that think they can apply makeup/update twitter/electric slide and drive. And then the ambulance comes…
@As Is,
NONE of the Thriller routine? Not even the zombie walk? Folks learn that ish right around the time they learn their ABC’s. That one dance move is ingrained in Earthling culture. I bet ninjas on Jupiter are doing it too.
@T.Troy thanks for asking that question! What is “2520″?
@jewlsrule, no problem knowledge is power!
@jewlsrule,
lol. I read this as “Jews rule” at first.
@Me fail english?,
Me, too. And in response, I was all, “Duh, we know”.
@Cheekie,
LMAO!
***untrustable sh*t not mentioned yet***
“straight” men who casually and nonchalantly refer to women as b*tches. (usually these dudes end up being gay)
black men over 25 with no facial hair.
white men over 25 with facial hair. (there’s a reason the mafia doesn’t allow that sh*t)
people who use superlatives in regular conversation. (words like incredible, superb, amazing, fantastic, brilliant, and gorgeous should be saved for special occasions or descriptions of the champ)
ultra liberal white people (they usually have beards too), and ultra militant blacks (its funny how much of a correlation “militantism” and “romantic success” seem to have)
grown-ups under 40 (if you’re over 40 you get a pass) who are still happily ignorant of social networking sites, blogs, etc. not saying everyone needs to have a facebook account, but its a bit too late in the 21st century to still say “twitter? whats that? i never heard of it.”
people with no knowledge of pop culture. pop culture doesn’t matter because it MATTERS, it matters because its the topic of at least 45 percent of casual adult conversation, and you can’t trust someone whose ignorance shuts them out of half of regular convos.
people who refer to themselves as an alpha male or female, only 3 to 5 percent of the population qualifies as an “alpha”, and if you actually have to say that you are, you’re not.
***btw, the over/under on the number of people who are gonna ignore the entry prompt and just start listing pet peeves is 19***
@The Champ,
There’s a real thin line between ppl you decide you can’t trust and ppl exhibiting one of your pet peeves.
“straight” men who casually and nonchalantly refer to women as b*tches. (usually these dudes end up being gay)”
Anyhow, yes these ppl are usually gay or overcompensating because women don’t like them.
@The Champ,
I’ll take you up on that Champ-o… 22 is my guess. Its only 10:30.
@The Champ, good list.
btw, i was totally militant in college so i could pull earthone chicks.
ironically, i ended up messing with prissy chicks thru college. it wasn’t until i gave up my cargos and hemp that i dated earthy crunchy chicks.
i guess my point is that, i…i be smackin’ my ho*s…i be smackin’ my ho*s and every one knows and knows…gotta smack ‘em to the floor…
@The Champ
“black men over 25 with no facial hair.”
Can’t say I agree with this one.
@The Champ,
come to page, search, facial hair….reply. I came here JUST to type that. Something about a grown arsed man with NO facial hair doesn’t sit right with me.
@Saule Wright
Barack is bringing the look back.
Philadelphia Eagles fans-By far some of the most disrespectful fans, and also they are delusional as if they are…half way decent. Go sit down. And that dumb arse fight song…really?
People who have never seen Blazing Saddles. No explanation.
Dudes with like 4 strands of chin hair. Philadelphia, I’m pointing at you. If you cant get at least a shadow, just get a mustache.
@Mr. Mister, The whole elation Eagles fans showed when The Playmaker was injured will always make me hate them more than any other fanbase. Redskins fans can go to Hades as well.
@Legendary Dash, Cowboys fans are the worst
@Peysonic Temple, Cowboys fans are the world’s greatest fanbase. The worst fanbases in football are The Steelers, Iggles, Deadskins, Giants, and the new Patriot fans.
@Legendary Dash,
Not for nothing, but I’m a native NYer and for a long time I don’t remember the Giants even having any damn fans…up until the ’07-’08 season of course.
@Legendary Dash, The Steelers,
WHOA now pahtna…. there are no other fans in the country where on road games you will find a stadium 3000 miles across the country half filled w/ people in black and gold, waving turrble towels. The Steelers have the BEST fans in the country. It’s common knowledge.
@Legendary Dash,
The worst fanbases in football are The Steelers
*throat punch*
@Legendary Dash,
Cowgirls fans make my left eyeball twitch. Something about them just don’t curl all the way over.
@pgh mouse. I’d travel 3000 miles to a football game too, if I lived in Pittsburgh. They are NFL equivalent to fans of University of Alabama football. Snaggletooth, redneck, scum.
@Legendary Dash,
Bwahahaha!! This is funny. However, there are several Pgh’ers representing on this site. Cain’t let u talk about us like that. I’m from Pittsburgh and have all my teeth. See —>
@Peysonic Temple, they are THe WORST, delusional also smh
@Legendary Dash, I dont even really have an issue with the Washington Foreskins. They’re pretty harmless. At least they don’t have a lame “fight song” or have a silly nickname for every player on their roster.
@Mr. Mister, as a longtime DC resident…
Washington Foreskins…KILT ME!
lmao.
@Mr. Mister,
*ahem* a snippet…
Hail to the Redskins, hail victory
Braves on the Warpath
Fight on for old DC!
Know that it is sung with GUSTO at my house
and that Dallas fans, of course, cannot be trusted
@ebonyI, The irony in your fight song is the usage of the word victory…
@Legendary Dash,
Hades deez.
Yes, I am a Champ disciple.
@Mr. Mister,
Philadelphia Eagles fans-By far some of the most disrespectful fans, and also they are delusional as if they are…half way decent. Go sit down. And that dumb arse fight song…really?
**petitions Champ to make sure BBMo and The Philly Negro sit no where NEAR Mr. Mister at the VSB BBQ. There might be a fight.**
@blackberry molasses, Civil discussions only in which I win.
@Mr. Mister,
nope. fight. I am an Eagles fan, afterall.
@blackberry molasses, or just throw batteries in a drunken rage?
@Mr. Mister, There’s a dude at the gas station on Florida Avenue who stays selling them F*ck Philly T-shirts.
F*ck Philly
F*ck McNabb
F*ck Cheesesteaks
F*ck the Cheerleaders
F*ck Westbrook
F*ck Andy Reid
F*ck Green and Silver
etc..
He updates every year. He also sells F*ck Dallas T-shirts but they sell out quickly.
@Brandon St. Randy, you get a big F on passing the comment censor/moderation today.
@Brandon St. Randy,
I’m totally LOL at his t-shirt selection.
@Brandon St. Randy,
“F*ck Cheesesteaks”
If this is on a shirt by itself, I’ll send you the money to cop me one.
@Brandon St. Randy,
*crosses arms with offended look on her face*
I’m not feelin’ the Illadelph hate today…
@blackberry molasses, I got no hate for Philly. But I’m not really a Skins fan so…But I got cousins who go to their trunk anytime they see a dude with a dyed in beard, a kufi and a waxed hairline just in case dude is an Eagles fan.
Haitian women. I am scared to turn my back on them.
@Legendary Dash, I feel you on this. But I have a problem, my girl is hatian
@Peysonic Temple, My girl is Haitian too. I just know what they are capable of.
@Legendary Dash, i’m scared to turn my back on any chick from the Caribbean. i dated a few island chicks.
they always had some strange look in their eye.
@Panama Jackson,
Its true. I dont even trust my mother with the laundry. She’d probably put a root on it.
C/S On not trusting anyone who can’t get along with their own kind. Whether that be blacks, hippies, masons or elves, there’s something seriously wrong when you think you’re the ONLY good one.
I also don’t trust:
-Women who wear lots of makeup. Who are you trying to fool?
-People who stutter. They’re too busy thinking of lies to speak properly.
-People with too many pictures of celebrities on their facebook/myspace/twitpics.
-Men who wear scarves. I’m onto you!
-People who can’t swim.
-People who tell you they’re “close” to you, but don’t know your middle name or parents.
-People who don’t think spelling counts
@Me fail english?, wow…stuttering?
ain’t that an actual afliction, though?
@Panama Jackson,
Nope. It’s just the sound of the devil.
@Me fail english?,
“-People who can’t swim.”
Uh-oh…
*shifty eyes*
“-Women who wear lots of makeup. Who are you trying to fool?”
I was seriously aghast when I saw a TV news anchor up close for the first time. If it was any more caked on, she’d be Betty Crocker.
Yeah what Panama said on #8 and the last line of 12. mh mh mh the MJ goes w/o saying.
scratch a lie find a thief
if you’ll lie
you’ll steal
if you’ll steal
you’ll kill
I’m swamped.
Amendment to #2 – Dudes with soft arse hand shakes that are big a$$ hell. I shook Fat Joe’s hand and his hand felt like a combination of a baby’s bottom and wet sand
@Peysonic Temple,
OMG that is some of the creapiest feeling. Makes me shudder in disgust.
@Peysonic Temple,
My Dad told me not to trust a dude with soft hands…this hasn’t failed me yet…lol
Panama, i have to disagree with 3, 7, and 8. first, there a lot of white vegetables…turnips, onions, jicama, mushrooms justto name a few.
second, i do not drink kool-aid, but i will kill some sweet tea w/ one lemon wedge. avocado is yummy!!!
i don’t trust
1. people who never look you in the eye when you’re speaking to them.
2. black people who call other black people uppity or bougie.
3. black people who seem to never take a stand against anything affecting black people (especially black women)…they are usually sometimes the same ones yelling uppity/bougie.
5. preachers/churches who pass the collection pan more than once per service.
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
“black people who seem to never take a stand against anything affecting black people (especially black women)…they are usually sometimes the same ones yelling uppity/bougie.”
YES! I’d extend this to anyone who doesnt seem to have opinions on hot topics. I’m not all that worldly my damn self, so sometimes I just dont know enough about things or simply dont give an eff to form an opinion. But EVERY EFFING THING?!
Of course you have an opinion, you just won’t share it. Cuz its probably the most offensive one in the room. Ya spineless, racist jellyfish.
@Me fail english?,
YES!!!
and to add to that, anyone who was still undecided the month before the presidential election.
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall…., not sure mushrooms would be okay with you calling them white.
they’re more persian.
@Panama Jackson,
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha…. iHate you with your soon to be Croatian azz…
@Panama Jackson,
LMAO!!!
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
“2. black people who call other black people uppity or bougie.”
I seriously agree with this point, but is joking an exception? Because I call my light-skindeded baby nephew bougie because he rolls his eyes at folks and has been doing so since he was nearly 1 year old.
@Cheekie,
lol!! your nephew has an attitude and all ready thinks too much of himself…sounds like a Morehouse man in the making….
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
*chuckling loudly*
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
ROFL
@Cheekie,
I love babies with stank attitudes. Not the crying, annoying ones. But the ones who look like, if they could talk, they’d say “Fcuk outta here!”
@Me fail english?,
That is my nephew to a TEE. He gives side-eyes too.
-Women who wear stilettos to walk on cobblestones or up long flights of stairs
-Men who never take off their hats. We’ve all guessed that you’re bald by now. No need to be bald and awkwardly arrayed
-Men who get manicures. Do you also have herpes???
-People who eat too much cereal have many secrets.
-People who give too much backstory to a simple question.
@Me fail english?,
“Women who wear stilettos to walk on cobblestones or up long flights of stairs”
This reminds me of the countless ladies who insisted on wearing high heels at the Taste of Chicago. A venue that includes lots of standing and walking. Stop tryin’ to look cute. Besides, no one is gonna look cute with a huge plate of chicken wings and food remnants on their upper lip due to gorging mass amounts of food.
@Cheekie, i heard you need a million tickets to eat massive amounts of food.
i heard taste of chicago=ramadan.
unless you have a million tickets.
@overit?,
LOL…You do need beaucoup tix. And this year they were implementing surcharges on the total price of a set of tix. FAIL. I bet all of this foolery has to do with the Olympic bid. Who had a tent set up as well!You can’t TASTE the Olympics. The eff you doing here?!
*conspiracy side-eye*
@Cheekie,
“You can’t TASTE the Olympics”
Yes, you can. They taste like burning
@me fail,
You are a hot mess. lol
@Me fail english?,
-People who eat too much cereal have many secrets.
You’ve figured me out!!! *Throws away box of Fruit Loops and Rice Krispies*
@Me fail english?, “idatewhiteWas it good that Joe Jackson was kept off TV during yesterday’s memorial?” but I come from a long line of storytelling… and I do have a backstory for everything
I actually co-sign most 2, 4, 6,8.9.13 of these but i happen to like green hot sauce nuccas…..
2.I HATE weak handshakes from men and esp other women, like it somehow says you are weak as in not confident, and a lil untrustworthy…
9.Black folks that think anything hood related is ghetto= someone who doesn’t care for black culture/black people…big red flag
@OrangeStar616,
“Black folks that think anything hood related is ghetto= someone who doesn’t care for black culture/black people…big red flag”
This just makes me sad
(probably cuz Im hood!, haha). I wonder if they really believe this or they just assert it so much to distance themselves from what embarasses them??
@Me fail english?, LOL my thing is why would you to distance yourself from ALL things flavorful and unique to black american culture ..when everybody elese covets it. jocks it, bites it, wants to be it etc etc etc…..see something not right with them……
@OrangeStar616,
You’re preaching to the choir! In undergrad I’ll never forget that for Black History Month our (predominantly black American) Dining Hall staff went out of their way to prepare homemade black American dishes. Fried Chicken, candied yams, collards, baked mac & chz etc. Don’t you know these bougie hoes passed around a petition to get them to stop serving it cuz it was racist to “assume” that’s what black folks eat? Bish, that IS what I eat!!! Needless to say, the non-black kids, were loving the food and had zero complaints. smh
-People who say “I don’t judge” or “No judgment” or “Only God can judge” and other nonsense of the sort. You liar, you! We all judge, all the time. Eff that! I can judge you too! And Im doing it right now.
I feel like the people that say this the most are the ones that did all the shady sh1t that we’d judge negatively. Now they’re tryna guilt trip us out of opinions and sh1t. Good luck with that. We all know I lack a conscience.
@Me fail english?,
amen.
@Me fail english?, I can judge you too! And Im doing it right now.
word.life.
i HATE people who swear they don’t judge. can’t trust them. they’re judging you in telling you that they dont judge.
@Panama Jackson,
“i HATE people who swear they don’t judge. can’t trust them. they’re judging you in telling you that they dont judge.”
Say it again! They’re looking down on you because you DO judge and they allegedly don’t. Thus, judging. You can’t escape it! lol
@Me fail english?,
Cosign. The people that say only “Only God Can Judge Me” are people that who know they are wrong, intend on doing wrong, and use this as their excuse to relieve themselves from all accountability.
@Humble_One,
LOL! On the money!
“Only God can judge me” = “You might have a point there”
@Me fail english?, I hate people who tell the whole world their business then turns around and don’t want people to judge them.
If people don’t want to be judged then them ninjas need to learn to keep secrets…
What I can’t trust
1) Dudes that stay clean all the time.
From my experience it seems that cats that keep their waves tight, fresh haircut, always making sure they have on fly gear, and never want to get dirty are slicksters. It seems these dudes are always trying to get over. They get people by smiling, talking fast, and looking clean cut.
2) Women in their late 20s and older with ponytails or ponytail weaves.
These women always seem to be hoodrats, spoiled, or boughetto chics.
3) White men that love or are infatuated with guns
Whenever you talk to these guys it doesn’t take long for them to show their colonialist manifest destiny mentality.
4) Black Americans born in the mid 60s and later that don’t listen to any form of Hip-Hop.
These people always disturb me. Especially the ones that claim they only listen to Jazz(not Miles Davis or Thelonius Monk but Kenny G) or gospel as if they have elevated to some new level of consciousness.
5) Dudes that are too friendly when they first meet you.
Maybe its because of where i’m from but dudes that are extra friendly when I first meet them I don’t trust. You don’t know me so why are you being so open and friendly to me?
6) Men and Women that wear sunglasses in the club
7) Black folks that graduated from college.
I graduated from college and I am still in college. But their is a difference b/w me and the cast of Harlem Heights.
Their is something wrong if all your friends come from one group and they are all connected somehow to each other.
@Humble_One,
C/S #1
and lol@ #7. Poor Harlem dude. BET know damned well he wasnt hanging with them before!
@Me fail english?,
Cosign. I think you are talking about the dude with the daughter. Of the 2 episodes I saw of this show I am wondering how this dude got on there?
@Humble_One,
Cosign #6. I REALLY hate sunshades in the club.
Also, boughetto? LMAO. I hollered at this.
@Humble_One,
“6) Men and Women that wear sunglasses in the club”
THANK YOU. I can’t trust folks that wear sunglasses inside PERIOD unless for a valid reason. And no, tryin’ to look cool is not a valid reason. Because by trying to look cool, you automatically fail at it.
@Humble_One, 2) Women in their late 20s and older with ponytails or ponytail weaves.
LOL, what’s wrong with ponytails??
@overit?,
Nothing wrong with them. It just seems that every woman I’ve met 28 and older were head cases that had them. They always seem to be boughetto women with princess syndrome.
Aside: I cried like a baby during the ENTIRE MJ memorial (I watched it after work because
these 2520sfolks around me hindered my concentration). Everytime a song started up new shiny tears replaced the almost-washed-away old tears.Things/Folks that Earn Cheekie’s Distrust:
1. Anti Disney/Pixar ninjas (I mentioned this yesterday. Yes, miss t-lee, you application has went through since they’re was a “mad cool” clause in the contract.
2. Eggs. They smell like fart. Seriously, though, I used to eat hardboiled eggs, but I had a tramautic experience with them as a wee kid (involving puking…aw) and I never went back.
3. People who haven’t seen The Color Purple. How can you continue to breathe in and out and haven’t known the pure BLIST (tm New York) of “‘Til you do right by me, everything you even think about is gonna fail?”. You betta Netflix/Red Box that sucka or at least catch one of the 593 airings on BET and/or Oxygen.
3a. People who HATE The Color Purple. The above quote referenced from the film applies to you. And I hear you gots that nasty women’s disease.
4. Sarah Palin. I hope that one day that fly that Obama kilt resurrects and flies into her eye the EXACT moment she does one of her cutesy winks.
5. People who voted for John McCain. You are Beelzebub incarnate.
6. Black folks that don’t like chicken. You need to have chicken meat in your blood. Actually, my best friend in high school didn’t like chicken. Shows I have a heart to make exceptions. Or it shows her coolness canceled the chicken thang out. Whatever.
7. Idaho.7. People with no sense of humor and/or doesn’t like laughing. (aka Emo ninjas)
Addendum: I initially added Idaho on the list because of those craxy Polygamists and the lack o’ Black folk. Then, I remembered they are famous for potatoes which are used for one of the best foods in the universe: French Fries. So, I at least have to tolerate them. And, of course there’s that brilliant t-shirt that says, “Idaho? No U Da Ho.”
@Cheekie,
“Idaho? No U Da Ho.”
I love that shirt!
@Cheekie,
1. Anti Disney/Pixar ninjas (I mentioned this yesterday. Yes, miss t-lee, you application has went through since they’re was a “mad cool” clause in the contract.
I’ll refrain from throat punching you then…thanks chick!!
@Cheekie,
“And I hear you gots that nasty women’s disease”
I’d like to know a situation in which this quote can’t be applied.
@Me fail english?,
Exactly. I challaaaange any of you ninjas to come up with ONE situation in which the above quote cannot be applied. *raises index finger* ONE.
Situations where “And I hear she gots that nasty women’s disease” is VERY apt:
- After a woman gives birth
- As soon as Obama was elected president
- When a potential employer asks you to discuss your experience with [insert job industry here].
- While purchasing a movie ticket
- While feeling melons at the grocery store
- While hugging your grandma who you haven’t seen in a while
- As soon as you slap that Big Joker on the fold-up Spades table.
I can go on and on…
@Cheekie,
iQuit you.
@Cheekie,
*screaming and crying*
Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!
I don’t trust people who drive for miles with their turn signal on. This, to me, means you’re confused and dont know what you wanna do; or you’re not paying attention to the road…and if your confusion leads to you hitting my beloved car, JB…it’s going down! That’s why I maneuver to another lane.
I don’t trust people who type without using punctuation. Look, I know this a short-hand-SMS-IM-texting societ we stay in. But dadgammit, but a “.” at the end of that dadgamn sentence. You’re rambling and it hurts my ocular muscles reading that sh!t.
Panama, what in the Kevin McHale is “meese”? iDied laughing when I saw that! And I agree with #8. Also, if they say “red” isn’t a flavor…tell them to go to the top of the tallest building in the area…and then jump! That way, they can bond with the people that haven’t seen “Coming to America.” lol iKeed! Good day to you all!
Site wouldn’t let me edit…
*”societ” s/b society
*”but” s/b “put”
@K to the…, meese is whatever you want it to be.
kind of like bobby brown’s career.
@K to the…, I don’t trust people who drive for miles with their turn signal on.
*looking yonder and whistling*
I dont trust a grown man in sandals! Mandals are quite simply put a crime of passion! If you can kill your look, you would most certainly kill me! The thought is just frightening!
@Mmeditorinchief, i do think mandals are evil. thats why i wear Timberlands at all times.
welcome (i think) and sh*t
@Panama Jackson,
Timbs in the summer? your feet must be smelly bellies.
@blackberry molasses, Timberland does make more than boots. But the only breathable Timbs would be…mandals!
To add –
*People who never, ever let loose. I can understand not being the most outgoing person, but if you’re not able to act a fool/relax in your own home, in front of ppl you know…it just seems weird. Had a roommate who I was decent good friends with (enough to go on a vacay with) and she never walked out of her room in her pj’s/lounge clothes – wore jeans even to sit on the couch all day, tried her hardest to pretend she didnt have a buzz when she’d had a few drinks..why deny yourself? lol
*In dating situations – ppl who are extreme in their emotions. Many men (and women) who are quick to fall in “love” are just as quick to fall out of it
*Any person who doesn’t feel the urge to at least tap their foot upon hearing any salsa, merengue etc. Unfortunately, my bf is guilty of not doing this.
@swt cheeks,
“*In dating situations – ppl who are extreme in their emotions. Many men (and women) who are quick to fall in “love” are just as quick to fall out of it”
GUILTY! Hee hee. I’m very hot and cold and tend to attract like types. Funny enough, I’m a serial monogamist. Cant explain that one.
@swt cheeks, People who never, ever let loose
This is definitely weird.
I don’t trust brawds that “be lying bout the clothes they be buying”= Lil Kim
LOL honey ain’t no need to lie Craig LOL, your a** is devoid of style…… cause if you had it darling it would translate into what you wear everyday, not just on the weekends dear and not just when glammed up or rocking certain lables……
NEWSFLASH LABELS DO NOT MAKE ONE FLY……flyness comes from within, something in the soul/spirit that comes thru no matter the garb darling
@OrangeStar616,
I dont trust anyone who wears knockoffs. You’ve cheated yourself. You cheated the designer. You’re cheating the public. No you can’t borrow my car.
@Me fail english?, LMAO!!!!!
Folk of color who can’t dance, and have no rhythm LOL just weird and not to be trusted
@OrangeStar616,
I have a friend with no rhythm whatsoever. She claims it’s b/c she wasn’t rocked as a baby.
@Voiceofreason, She claims it’s b/c she wasn’t rocked as a baby.
lmaoooo
@Voiceofreason,
*DEAD* @ cuz she wasn’t rocked as a baby. Genius!
**My dad told me not to trust black men that dont have facial hair. Still not sure why?
**People that ONLY eat certain types of food. I know I’ve mentioned this before but I have such issues with people that have never tried a certain type of food but will say that HATE it. You get a pass if you have food allergies or have actually tried something and didnt like it but NEVER trying it…seems a bit limited.
**Men who say that arent gay but try to be comical by acting gay or have a bunch of gay friends.
**Men who cry watching romantic comedies.
**People who say that dont like their parents. I have found that most men that have Mommy issues have issues with women in general. Same with women!!
**Movie, music, book or theater recommendations from anybody who thinks that Tyler Perry makes a good movie!!
**This chic at work that ALWAYS brings in homemade baked goods & constantly talks about her unruly birds, cats & dogs. Oh…she recently took in a baby raccoon too. Imma pass on those lemon bars!!
@Yaa,
“**This chic at work that ALWAYS brings in homemade baked goods & constantly talks about her unruly birds, cats & dogs. Oh…she recently took in a baby raccoon too. Imma pass on those lemon bars!!”
lol! I used to work with TWO people like this. One of em walked around barefoot in Central Park. Thanks, Bill. No cheese for me!
@Me fail english?,
lmao!
@Yaa, That men with mommy issues is so dead on. I had an ex who referred to his mother as that crazy bytch during our first month of dating (dont ask why I didnt run) And then when I met the other, she point blank flat out told me, ‘I apologzie in advance for any issues you may have with my son. Anything that happens between the two of you is simply some unresolved stuff between us that spilled over into your relationship’
Four months later my front door was laying in the middle of my hallway at 3:30 in the morning. with a boot mark right in the middle of it.
oh no ma’am.
@Suga&Spice, oh..wow.
@Yaa,
**People that ONLY eat certain types of food. I know I’ve mentioned this before but I have such issues with people that have never tried a certain type of food but will say that HATE it. You get a pass if you have food allergies or have actually tried something and didnt like it but NEVER trying it…seems a bit limited.
I distrust adult picky eaters in general… If your taste buds have not fully developped yet (weird), at least have the decency and courtesy to be polite about it. Don’t trust these people… at all.
1. People who are ALWAYS nice. Either you’re always lying, or your always running from some bad memory. Which is it?
2. Cute/hot women who “can’t find a man.” To paraphrase Katt Williams. . . Maybe it’s you, simple bytch.
3. Short men.
4. Tall women.
5. Ex’s of my current jumpoff/girlfriend/etc.
6. Any girl in the club.
7. Any girl who claims to be just a friend (then why when I do a heat check do I find you’re happy being more?).
8. Lawyers/car salesmen/car repairmen/taxi drivers/any job where you are supposed to be around cars all day.
9. Any guy/girl who only has friends of the opposite sex (other than me, of course. My intentions are honorable and circumstances unique
).
10. For the ladies, anything a guy says right before chex. I hear this in the context of, “But, An Island, he told me right before I let him put it in that . . . “). N*gga please.
@An Island,
so according to you Island, if you are haute and attractive then you should have a man because
a. you get noticed by ALOT of men
b. you should pick from what notices you even if what notices you ain’t qulaified to even take out your trash based on character alone ???? or ain’t even all that attractive to you themselves LOL…help me out because I am trying to understand your reasoning…LMAO
@OrangeStar616
If 9 out of 10 men think a woman looks gooood, and she goes a year or more without finding something steady, something (probably somethings) ain’t right with her and/or the situations she’s putting herself in.
I’m just the messenger.
@An Island, LMAO..thats funny maybe it could be the pool from which to choose is polluted LOL…. Like here in the District, i love my city but this mofo on fire, from Hiv and undercover bi sexual dudes, to bamas, to mofos who want to set you aflame literally, or stab you, to dudes with 4 baby mamas and no legal employment to just plain psychos and ALL of these mofos might think you are THE sh*t…..get my point LOL…its not as simple as you think
@OrangeStar616
Yeah, I’ve been in the district for a year and a half and it’s TOUGH on women. There are some below average guys out here who are pulling off stuff that they couldn’t pull off in most cities. But there’s good dudes floating around (*cough* *cough*). But you gotta be ready to step out from the same places or, WORSE, from those guys that are blockin in hopes that you just cave in eventually.
@An Island, “But there’s good dudes floating around (*cough* *cough*).”
Well I for one wish you all would get together and have a conference or something cause I don’t like rummaging through the racks its boring and easily tires.
@Intellectual Hedonist,
True cause you got to be in the mood for that kind of shopping, and have on the right shoes! LOL……
@Intellectual Hedonist, and honestly that is why I cant deal with TJMaxx and Marshalls, too much effort for the bargain, I will just wait till Nordstrom has their semi annual sale
@Intellectual Hedonist,
I imagine if they ever did have that conference it would be reminiscent of that store every year that has the cheap wedding gowns and chicks fight/punch/kick/ hurdle over each other to get their dream dress.
It think it’s in Chicago or New York?IDK –I just know I cry laughing watching the news clips every time.
This is how that conference would go down.
@miss t-lee I think you mean the Filene’s Basement in Boston and I think they are officially done with that (out of business) but you are absolutely correct. It would be a whole mess of women scratchin and clawing at each other for a Vera Wang (i.e Idris Elba). LMAO
@miss t-lee,
“I imagine if they ever did have that conference it would be reminiscent of that store every year that has the cheap wedding gowns and chicks fight/punch/kick/ hurdle over each other to get their dream dress.
It think it’s in Chicago or New York?IDK –I just know I cry laughing watching the news clips every time.”
They probably do it in other cities too, but I heard the Filene’s on State Street in Chicago does it.
Co-sign OrangeStar that you gotta be in the mood to shop at rack stores like TJMaxx and Marshalls. I got some fly stuff from there, but you have to make an event of it. lol
The Filene’s in Union Square (NYC) used to do it also. Filene hated women.
@Intellectual Hedonist
Normally I’d say get recommendations, but I’ve never seen a town like this where it’s mostly groups of 10+ women with 1-2 guy friends, and the women are all really just trying to line them up for themselves. Plus a guy can’t go more than a week without some random girl out here steppin’ to him (rarely a 8/9/10 girl, but if you’re easily satisfied . . . ). I used to think only 2520′s did that shyt. DC proved me wrong.
@An Island,
1. People who are ALWAYS nice. Either you’re always lying, or your always running from some bad memory. Which is it?
I think these people are psychopaths & will snap at any moment!!
& Whats wrong with tall women? I am 5’10
@Yaa
If you’re in the fives, it’s all good. Now when I start to question if you’re my height, that’s when I start to wonder if we share any other physical characteristics. Again, this is just my own issue, I know guys who like tall(er) women.
@An Island,
Tall women rock. *pouts*
I’ll have you know we’re worth the climb!
@8th Wonder,
Say that again for the folks who might have missed it.
@8th Wonder, its the cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimb!
can I ask the ATLians a question…
how can y’all claim Black Mecca status when you couldn’t even keep Freaknik and a 2520 is runnin’ in your Housewives crew.
PS: Wayne Williams didn’t kill ALL of them kids, the KKK did some of that s*it
@T. Troy Stewart,
PS: Wayne Williams didn’t kill ALL of them kids, the KKK did some of that s*it
Okay…I’m not from Atlanta, but I just have to ask are you seriously trying to defend a serial killer? I just gotta know.
@miss t-lee, no…I’m just saying I find it hard to believe that one dude killed that many kids by himself. He had a job and was taking care of his moms, too? I don’t doubt that the fool killed some of them, but as many as was claimed? Naw, naw.
They just caught one and let the others go, praying that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to start up after they got somebody to take the rap for all of those murders…
This has been The Ol’ School Negro Conspiracy Theroy moment for the day.
@T. Troy Stewart,
IDK mayne…Dahmer had a job, Gacy had a job…I can’t ride with ya on that one.
I know people wanna save ‘em since he’s the like only black one ever, but I just can’t.
@miss t-lee, I’m not trying to save him…I didn’t say that he was innocent; I am not denying that the man is a screwloose and he killed some kids…he needs to be locked up for ever
However, I don’t put it past some 2520s to seize the opportunity to run out and shoot some black kids, too.
@ T. Troy Stewart ,
Alrighty. I see where you’re going.
@miss t-lee, thanks…I wanted to make sure that I was in no way wanting to issue WW a get out of jail free card…
@T. Troy Stewart ,
Glad we’re in the clear now…lol
@T. Troy Stewart, no city in their right mind should have kept freaknik. that joint was what i imagine sodom and gomorrah looked like before the great fall.
now i had fun during my few freaknik experiences, but it really was damn near the worst of Black America put on display up and down peachtree street for a whole weekend.
@Panama Jackson, they have 2520 Spring Break every year (now I’m using that 2520 like I invented peanut butter) and Freaknik didn’t have anything of some of the crazy and de-ranged nonsense I witnessed at some of these thangs.
@T. Troy Stewart, have you see a woman get thrown onto the hood of a car and willingly let dudes run a train on her???
that was typical freaknik behavior.
@Panama Jackson,
supassed only by the bootleg tomfoolery that was The Greek in Philly.
I’m so glad its gone.
@Panama Jackson, you ever been to Spring Break @ Lake Havasu with Ced Ceballos?
I digress…I just know that black folx acting stupid at certain functions will get shut down and be looked upon as depraved and sick (Freaknik was no picnic, that’s for sure) but that ish that happens down in Florida and Arizona every year is called a “rite of passage”, a “tradition” and it’s the very same thing as Freaknik except 2x worse.
@T. Troy Stewart,
School me…what is a 2520?
@K to the…,
The 25th and 20th letters of the alphabet
NEVER MIND…I know now.
8. Black people who are too good for Kool-Aid
I vehemently believe that if you are too good for Kool-aid, you should just perish. Kool-Aid is everything that’s right with the world.
Kool-Aid is everything that’s right with the world? Please explain. And “because” or anything with a variation of “deez” is not an adequate response.
@Voiceofreason, it’s a black thing.
@Panama Jackson,
I’m black and I hate the stuff unless it’s laced with lemon. And no one can ever question my blackness based on the amount of chicken I consume per week.
@Voiceofreason, its’ still a black think. perhaps a different shade of black thing.
perhaps charcoal.
@Panama Jackson,
So I’m guessing you don’t trust people who refuse to use Luster’s Pink Moisturizer or people who don’t have babies but use baby powder? Cause that’s for d@mn sure a black thing this extremely dark-skinned black woman can’t understand. Lol.
@Panama Jackson,
“perhaps charcoal.”
What does Flava Flav have to do with this?
@Panama Jackson,
Or it could be more like a light black thing…ya know, like an ashy black tee…
@Panama Jackson,
I haven’t drink Kool-Aid since I was a kid. I think that it too was invented by a dentist just like Cotton Candy was.
@Voiceofreason,
Kool-Aid was created by God on Monday. Right after light.
@Cheekie,
Kool-Aid cured Polio. It also freed the slaves.
@Cheekie,
Kool-Aid stops hair from growing. I bet there’s a direct correlation between snatch backs and Kool-Aid consumption.
@Cheekie, kool-aid founded the NAACP and built the Trojan Horse.
Chuck Norris drinks Kool-Aid.
@Cheekie,
*sniggling*
@Cheekie, the ONLY Dane Cook skit that I have ever laughed at was his Kool-Aid Man skit. Basically, what happens AFTER Kool-Aid Man busts open the wall at your house:
“plaster and stuff floating around in the Kool-Aid”
“hey, man, my dad is gonna be at home about 3:30 and he’s gonna be pissed when he sees that hole in the middle of his house”
@T. Troy Stewart,
HAHA @ the only Dane Cook joke you laughed at. I feel ya.
And yeah, that was a good one.
@Cheekie,
Coolio is the one true king.
@Me fail english?,
You have no idea the bliss I feel from you making a Lion King reference. *cool points increased even more so* And the fact that you somehow combined Kool-Aid and The Lion King enchants me. You’re a good person.
edit: Coolio=Kool-Aid
Goddamnit! I just cant get shet right today!!
@Me fail english?,
LMFAO @ mistaking Coolio for Kool-Aid.
Actually, I bet that happens all the time. lol
@Cheekie,
Freudian slip. Coolio is also the one true king.
But if coolio drank Kool-Aid, wouldnt his lips be red instead of white?
@me fail,
“But if coolio drank Kool-Aid, wouldnt his lips be red instead of white?”
WHY must you kill me so softly?
@Cheekie, Kool-Aid was created by God on Monday. Right after light.
which flavor? grape or red? cause i am certain grape was created before light, on a friday.
@overit?,
He’s God…he created them all simultaneously.
@Voiceofreason,
Kool-Aid is disgusting. After I tasted REAL juice I never wanted it again.
People who don’t cheer for the home team or who only support them when they are winning.) Such disloyalty demonstrates a lack of trustworthiness. And let’s not even discuss those heathens supporting the home team’s rivals. I wonder how they walk upright with no backbone. I carry a stake in my back pocket for any Washingtonian I meet cheering for Dallas. I hate these folks almost as much as I hate sunshades in the NIGHT club.
You get a pass if you live outside the city limits (i.e. PG, Montgomery, Fairfax, Arlington counties.) That’s not DC anyway.
@Ms. Hall, whats’ worse is that DC has more Cowboys fans than Redskins fans.
wtfkosdtm?
@Panama Jackson, TRAITORS..and the excuse that the Redskin org was racist is DEAD …..like other org’s are not or weren’t esp DALLAS them good ol boys just loves us negras right?!? GTFOHWTBS LOL
@OrangeStar616,
Traitors indeed.
@Panama,
I don’t understand it. Some population control needs to be done. There has to be some easy, effective way to put down a few thousand backstabbing Benedict Arnolds. Hmmm, let me think. Anthrax, toxic gas…but how do we get them all in the same place at the same time?
**unrelated–I love Marion Barry**
@OrangeStar616,
Exactly, besides if you think the ‘skins was racist why would you support a team form Texas.
They all some dick riders who jumped on the bandwagon in the mid 90s before that they were 49er fans.
@Omar,
They all some d*ck riders who jumped on the bandwagon in the mid 90s before that they were 49er fans.
I think e-love you.
There’s a lot of love in the e-air today. That’s great!
@Panama Jackson, Hey I know some DC cowboys fans who are good people….I don’t understand their disloyalty to their own but I just look past it….
btw I’m neutral since I’m from a state with no Pro teams (AL)….thus I don’t understand the people who are loyal to the home team either…. if it’s anything like Roll Tide Bama fever I assume it’s something that borders on insanity
@Ms. Hall,
i definitely agree with this. The Carolina Hurricanes is the only pro team in Raleigh, and I support them fully…well, not fully, b/c i don’t own any ‘nalia, car decals/flags, and i haven’t been to a game, but i will watch them on t.v. same thing for the Panthers, except i am getting tickets this year. I’m real ready to see those Panthers rip out the throats of those p*ssy azz falcons…
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
“I support them fully…well, not fully, b/c i don’t own any ‘nalia, car decals/flags, and i haven’t been to a game”
LOL!
@N.I.A. LivingLifeOffTheWall….,
let’s not name-call.
boo panthers.
yay falcons.
@Ms. Hall, the last 20 years, I have lived in Phoenix and, currently, Cleveland…
The Cardinals & The Browns. yea.
@Ms. Hall, You get a pass if you live outside the city limits (i.e. PG, Montgomery, Fairfax, Arlington counties.) That’s not DC anyway.
LOL, i love Fairfax!
@overit?, but doesn’t the team play outside the city limits….in PG county????
I do like black people. It’s niggaz I don’t like. Is that a different race?
@Wood,
No.
@Me fail english?, lol. good answer!
9. Black people who don’t like Black people
Cosign. What’s funny is sometimes it’s the most ignorant mofos that feel this way. These are the same people that run to the suburbs and think they are like the other folks in suburbs like them. You may be in the suburbs but you still don’t read and still can’t hold an intelligent conversation. The other people like this are just self haters. Shout out to Ken Hamblin, Larry Elder, and Clarence Thomas.
@Humble_One,
I forgot to add one more to my list.
Black men with no facial hair.
A Black dude out here with a booty-face is suspect.
1. I don’t trust people who when I’m in the bathroom stall all I hear is a flush and then the entrance of the bathroom door close. Those are some nasty mofos.
2. People who don’t listen to music. Music is beautiful how can you not enjoy it.
3. People who hunt animals just for “fun”. I’m sorry I don’t see killing Bambis and Thumpers as a good time.
@pinksghetti,
Co-sign 1. What kinda lazy and nasty bastidd are you not to hold on for a second and at least rinse ya hands and wipe them on your jeans? I’ve barked at fools “you wanna wash your hands?” and they keep walking, only twice as fast.
2. You wouldn’t enjoy some orthodox Muslims…
3. …or Elmer Fudd for that matter.
People who hate on me for preferring Green Kool-Aid.
Look, I’m old school. I was never down for them berry-tastic, island delights Kool Aids. Just give me either red or green. I ain’t messin’ with grape no mo’ cuz of what Jim Jones (not the rapper…I hate I have to put that disclaimer out for the kids…) did when he found out that Kool Aid was one of the black man’s kryptonite.
@T. Troy Stewart,
“People who hate on me for preferring Green Kool-Aid. ”
That’s my fave too! I am fastly, fastly falling in e-love. Watch out there now.
*puts up e-walls* To self: Stay strong, Cheekie!
@Cheekie,
do I smell an e-crush?
@blackberry molasses,
Yeah. It reeks of vulnerability and softness.
Don’t tell T. Troy.
@Cheekie, “I’ll be your huckleberry”
@T. Troy Stewart,
lol
I don’t trust any food that smells funny, thus my do-not-eat-list is as follows:
1. seafood (if it swims i don’t eat it…when chickens start swimming, i’m gonna starve…)
2. chitterlings (or however you spell it…)
3. funky kooter…women’s noses work better than ours, if I can smell it, then I KNOW you can too. wash ya azz and spare me (and my nose hairs) the embarrassment of telling you that you smell…cause i’ll do it.
“you smell that? naw baby that’s you, i ain’t been out the house all week!” – martin in you so crazy
@Carver The Great!,
“chitterlings (or however you spell it…)”
I love how you spelled it all proper like….lmao!!!
@miss t-lee,
LOL…I know. Folks that pronounce it just like that crack me up. I sometimes say it that way in a joking way, but there are people who actually pronounce it that way and it’s hilarious.
Chitlins/Chitterlings/Sh*tlins as a food itself, though, is not a laughing matter. Dis-gus-ting.
@Cheekie,
Funny…I’ve only heard 2520′s refer to them as “chitterlings”.
Nah…that ish is nasty…along with the hog maws.
Miss me with alla that please and thank you.
@miss t-lee,
“Funny…I’ve only heard 2520’s refer to them as “chitterlings”.”
Me too, until this one old Black lady at the grocery store asked an employee for some Chi-tter-lings. WHA?
“Miss me with alla that please and thank you.”
Co-signage. My mama don’t eat pork and I thought I’d be able to avoid the “unique” smell of chitlins in my home until her boyfriend at the time requested them. Our house smelled like refried camel arse. Thanksgiving was RUINED. She is no longer with him. Good call.
I’m sure it’s because he effed up in other ways, but I’d like to think that chitlins broke them up.
@miss t-lee,
lmbo…why when i was little did i see hog maws in my granny’s freezer…i asked her what they were and she said “ionno chile…it’s the maws of the thang”
to this day, i still have no clue.
No offense
- People with a widows peak
- People with attached earlobes
@Sankofi,
“- People with a widows peak”
HEY!
*takes ball and goes home*
@Sankofi,
- People with attached earlobes
LMAO! And why did I just touch my earlobe to make sure I’m trustworthy by your standards?
@K to the…, me too
@Sankofi,
“- People with attached earlobes”
*snort*
Great, I have defined earlobes. Just like our President.
Folks in the Hood that hate on you for living in the suburbs
Why should we all be miserable?
@T. Troy Stewart, LOL co-sign. I say everyone gets to put in a lil required hood time, then you’re free to go live wherever you want!
@Liz, Gardena was the hood enough for me, but not for my cousins who grew up off of Manchester…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, Haha I know where Gardena is. I’m pretty sure I played them a few times in HS basketball…
@Liz, I did my time on the west side of Chicago in Maywood, don’t miss those days a bit
@T. Troy Stewart,
“Why should we all be miserable?”
Ha! Word.
parsnips and celeriac are also white. so are potatoes, turnips and jicama once you get past the peel. why you discriminatin’ against cauliflower? that ain’t right.
@tiffany, LOL! see, i’ve been trynna think of some white veggies for this man for like 2 yrs now. he swears up and down cauliflower is only it.
@tiffany, thems all persian!!!!
People at high profiles Memorial services that shouldn’t be there at all, like Punky Brewster, that Cheetah Girl, Omorosa…etc.
speaking of Omorosa (or however she spells her name)
Anita Baker, don’t you ever give either her or Lisa-Raye OR anybody on the C-List or lower, a shoutout at your concert…EVER.
Wait a minute – i’m confused. Are u saying that Anita shouldn’t shout out LisaRaye or are u saying Anita shouldn’t get a shout out?
Cuz… if it’s the latter – them’s fightin’ words. Anita Baker is a goddess.
@pgh muse,
*brows perk up*
Yeah, if you diss Anita Baker, you are deceased to me.
@pgh muse, Anita should not be stopping her set just to say “hey, show some love for Myammee from Flava Of Love, up in the upper deck section, tonight!”
@T. Troy Stewart, awwwww. She was prolly just being nice. LisaRaye has been going thru it lately. Anita can do no wrong in my book
@pgh muse,
Sweeeeet Loooooove.
@pgh muse,
That’s why you’re my e-twin. If I could, she would be singing for my first wedding dance!
Retired Rappers – Jay wasn’t the first and Too Short still can’t stay away from the game…
Habitual line-steppers – this is how you get drop-kicked into a mirror
Any female who begins a sentence with, “Hey, friend…” – these two words have gotten women candy, chips, car rides, and the like since jr. high. when you hear these two words, immediately shut her down b/c she wants something. and she thinks you’re the sucker who will fall for it…
joe jackson – see BET Awards
women with koolaid-red hair, blue hair, or any variant – see tiny & toya
People who still use the check cashing place.
Im still not sold on credit checks being run for prospective employees, but on the real. Let me find out you stand in line and pay to get your money…you dont deserve to work. You could work with someone, but t’aint gon be me.
Get yo’ hands outta my memos, bish!
@Me fail english?,
“People who still use the check cashing place.”
BEST. ANSWER. EVAH.
I’m always clownin’ grown folks who go to the currency exchange on pay day. You ain’t got no checkin’ account YET? You get so much of a side-eye and I’m turning sideways while giving you the side-eye.
people who think babies cussing and dancing like strippers is “cute”
it’s not. And a double whammy to you if it’s a boy who you got dancing like a stripper…
kids are just like blank hard drives, they only put out what you put in. And remember, these little mofos are going to grow up and have to take care of you one day, get it right now or else it’s going to be you up in the nursing home having to twerk it for supper
@T. Troy Stewart,
get it right now or else it’s going to be you up in the nursing home having to twerk it for supper
*FLATLINES* hi-daamn-larious!
@T. Troy Stewart, get it right now or else it’s going to be you up in the nursing home having to twerk it for supper
LMAO, this is the truth.
@T. Troy Stewart,
You mean that YouTube clip of that baby who can’t pronounce “Truck” and instead says the F-bomb ain’t hilarious?
@Cheekie, lol that’s different
@T. Troy Stewart,
*wipes forehead* Cool, cuz I think the little girl telling her mom she’s gonna kick the monster’s “ask” is hilarious.
“If I don’t kick his ask…then he’s gonna kick my ask!”
On top cosigning not trusting men with no capacity to grow facial hair, I don’t trust men who oversaturate sentences with compliments…This presumably would go for women also but I haven’t experienced it. When there’s too many compliments (usually the same one) I feel like the initial compliment is insincere..and that you’re either currently lying to me, buttering me up for and epic lie, or relying too heavily on your “game” and I just caint get with it.
@Happy Meal,
This is a good one.
@miss t-lee, yeah that sh*t will def set off some alarms, like u don’t need to sice me dude bout who I already am.. having sincere admiration and the butter fly effect too diff animals
@OrangeStar616,
Yep…I told this dude one time mid sentence to “shut up”.
I mean, compliments are good, but dayum…you don’t need to say the same thing 50-11 times in 5 minutes.
Ninja…my self-esteem is not low.
@OrangeStar616,
“u don’t need to sice me”
lol. Yup, you’re def from the DMV uh-rea
@Happy Meal, OMG, this is a great one. I’m currently in a situation like this. Dude stays saying how awesome I am, how he is so happy to have met me, I had to tell him to pause and hit him with a “YOU ‘ONT KNOW ME”
then he said he was in awe of what he did know of me. FHL
@Happy Meal,
similarly, i don’t trust men in the mall who say “you too pretty to not be smiling.”
so you want me to look like a weirdo walking through the mall with a grin? and what about the ugly girls, do they not have to smile cuz they’re ugly? or do you really tell everyone this, regardless of their attractiveness?
@Chas,
LOL!! I hate those guys too. You too ugly to be speaking. Play your position and I’ll play mine.
Anything sold on television between 12 and 5 am. That counts double for any and all Billy Mays (May God Rest his Soul) sponsored products including the Sham Wow, Oxi Clean, that electric Dirt Digger, and that thingy that magically gets the dents out of cars.
I also dont trust people with abnormally light eyes or people with One long a** fingernail. Alllathem creep me out.
@Dom,
“I also dont trust people with abnormally light eyes or people with One long a** fingernail. ”
ESPECIALLY on the pinky finger. Ew. You just look like you have chlamydia.
Yeah, I don’t trust those late-night sale products either. And anytime they offer double the product for half the price…it’s a wrap. Also if they tell me that if I call in the next so-and-so minutes, I’ll get a special deal. Actually, I’ve always wanted to wait ’til the clock runs out and then call them…they offer me the same price and I say, “Um, you JUST said…”
And Billy Mays (RIP) always made me uncomfy due to the excessive screaming. Ninja, I HEARD you.
@Cheekie, ESPECIALLY on the pinky finger. Ew. You just look like you have chlamydia.
*dead*
cant trust the VSB’s when they start talking about the (Faux) VSB BBQ and ish
@Intellectual Hedonist,
COSIGN 10000000000%! LOL
Need to Let This Out:
About a couple hours ago the partners at the firm I work at sent a mass email saying they’re gonna have to cut more staff this week (100 employees) after a huge cut in February (finances, while relatively stable, aren’t really doing much better). I’ve been freaking out for the past two hours (yes, even while joking on here)…and my boss finally let our specific department know that we won’t have any cuts so we wouldn’t have to worry the rest of the day.
Sigh. Of. Relief.
I had to express this because I am overcome with joy right now. I still have a job.
@Cheekie, Congratulations! I mean that…
@Cheekie,
Whew! I hope I can say the same by the end of next week.
Thanks, Intellectual Hedonist and me fail! I mean, I wasn’t too too scared since the cuts would be across the country so the 100 would be spread out (it’s a HUGE law firm), but still, I was scared enough. Whew.
Now, I’m scared for other folks in other departments. This is so sad.
You’re in my prayers, me fail! *fingers crossed*
@Cheekie,
Thanx Cheeks
@Cheekie,
I went through that back in Jan./Feb.
I’m glad you made it.
@Cheekie, I’ve been freaking out for the past two hours (yes, even while joking on here)
LMAO, that is so something I would do. YAY!!! So happy for you, a jobless Cheekie would not be as Cheeky lol.
Thanks miss t-lee and overit!
miss t-lee: Yeah, Feb was the roughest. They let go at least half of our department. It is tumbleweed rollin’ around in this mofo. So, when they sent out this latest email, I was so scared!
overit: Yeah, my cheeks would look like Drake’s if I didn’t have a job.
What’s hilarious about the whole thing is that my boss was looking for my coworker and when he came over, I was on HERE. That was after the email was sent. My silly self. It’s not my fault, though, he just snuck up on me. If I woulda heard his footsteps, I would’ve been able to click back over to Outlook or something. Dayum carpet.
He probably didn’t notice, though. He’s not the hovering type. Which is one of the reasons why I woulda been heartbroken if I lost this job. It’s not my dream job by a long stretch, but I have the most cool, laid-back boss. And the coolest most laid-back co-workers. It’s all I could ask for the
plantationday job.men who have evry small children/babies/toddlers…….
still subject to be smashing baby mothers/drama………………
carnival rides
@OrangeStar616, you aint never lied about men with small babies LOL. i think age 10 is where I finally feel in the clear, but they’re probably up there by then.
@Liz, yeah trying to tell ya’ll….LOL
Ion’t trust carnival rides
they put them things up and snatch em down too fast for me…when you lil, you crazy be on all that sh*t with no thought LOL….
Ion’t really trust festival food, where do them folks wash their hands???
Ion’t trust everybodies cooking period, I’m the main asking with a side eye, who fixed this LMAO
Ion’t trust dudes with very young children/infants/toddlers
the baby mama drama and him still knocking that down are exponentially higher
@OrangeStar616,
“Ion’t trust carnival rides”
You’re smart. lol I don’t blame ya.
“Ion’t trust dudes with very young children/infants/toddlers
the baby mama drama and him still knocking that down are exponentially higher”
This reminds me of how uncomfy I felt when I saw this real young dude pushing a stroller. He had the full-out thug wear. Du-rag, sagging jeans down the ground, dollar-sign emblazoned sweatshirt…the works. That just didn’t look right.
I know I should think, “Good, he’s spending time with his kid”, but…
No.
I don’t trust girls that drive Grand Am’s/Grand Prix’s. I don’t trust a bunch of n*ggas in hoodies…..wait, I don’t trust a bunch of white dudes in hoodies. Pause. I don’t trust the government, the news, or men who leave their kids behind because they decided to have sex with worst possible mother in the world.
Oh wait, I don’t trust blogs, specifically MTO. I don’t trust the police, I REALLY DON’T TRUST THE POLICE. I don’t trust my cell phone provider.
damn, I don’t trust anybody.
i don’t trust people who wholeheartedly believe michael jackson is a child molester but still support r. kelly, a child molester.
you are a horrible judge of character, and therefore can be trusted with nothing more valuable than a packet of kool-aid….which you probably don’t like because you are untrustworthy.
and yes my kool-aid still comes in packets.
Has this post cracked the Best of VSB list? If not, we sure as hell flirted with it today.
EDIT: I see it did!
err all nxt day and ish but:
folks who say “No Homo”, it just makes me give them the side-eye, if I wasn’t already.
what about people who date exclusively WITHIN their race?
Do you not trust me because I didn’t watch the Michael Jackson memorial.
Not even the clips online.
Hmm I don’t trust guys who wear sunglasses in a dark club, or smokers….if you’ll do that to your own body I can’t imagine what you’re capable of doing to me
I know I’m late as all get out, but I just had to comment on that green sauce stuff. But if you’ve ever had some wasabi (goes with sushi), then you know that stuff is the truth. I want to buy a jar of it and start putting it on burgers cause I can see that stuff replacing hot sauce….speaking of which how did nobody mention hot sauce in the post about blackness the other day?
Maaaaad Late..
But I loved 4, 5, 6!!
I don’t kid. Something about white people scare me.
And overly happy people.
And to add to Coming to America.. 40 Year Old Virgin
I can’t STAND Kool Aid.
But I love “Coming to America”.
Can we still be friends?
LOL
I distrust and dislike just about everything. But there is no I trust less than a optimist.