grown-up
ask 10 people and you’ll likely get 10 different definitions of this term, a curious conundrum helping to make courting, dating, and relationships much more difficult than they already are.
in an attempt to somewhat subside this confusion, I’ve decided to help everybody out and name five simple behaviors that every grown-ass man and grown-ass woman should practice. enjoy and sh*t
1. GROWN-ASS MEN…should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever brag about their penis, bedroom manner, or sexual exploits. never. ever.
let the women you’ve been with in the past be your pipegame A&R’s and penis politicians. trust me, if you’re doing what youre supposed to be doing, they”ll gladly volunteer
2. GROWN-ASS WOMEN…should never allow themselves to be defined solely by their sexuality
basically, a grown-ass woman should know that a long sleeved dress shirt, jeans, and an appropriate heel on her worst day still owns three times as much potential sexiness than some jeans revealing three inches of butt cleavage, accompanied by a fishnet turtleneck with pink piranha nipple clamps. a grown-ass women should always know that their sexuality will always be the implied yet powerful elephant in the room, and knows she doesn’t need to acknowledge it by “yee-hawing” loudly and riding the elephant through the doorway like it’s Seattle Slew.
3. GROWN-ASS MEN…should never try to “out-sexy” a woman.
we’re all are ugly and awkward. we can never be as outwardly sexy as a woman is, so stop trying.
if you’re still unsure about how you should look when taking a picture, use this as your own personal cheat-sheet..
yes
NO!!!!!
4. GROWN-ASS MEN AND GROWN-ASS WOMEN…should never get arrested, or consistently put themselves in situations where it’s a likely possibility
you’re not t.i. or kwame kilpatrick or martha stewart. you have no albums to sell, movies to promote, or potato salad recipes to hawk. your administrative assistant at Blue Cross/Blue Shield ass getting arrested aint cool, will not enhance your street cred, and, even if it did, no other grown-ass man or grown-ass women is even going to care because you’re an administrative assistant at Blue Cross/Blue Shield. to quote starbury “you’re caught up in basketball. get caught up in life”
5. GROWN-ASS WOMEN…should never hint at disinterest
it was much simpler in elementary school. if you liked a girl, you’d pass her a note in class with a simple question: “do you want to be on my team for dodgeball?”
underneath the question would be two boxes, titled “yes” and “no”. if she wasn’t interested, not only would the “no” box get checked, but you might even have the paper balled-up, chewed on, and thrown at you.
somewhere in the 15-25 years since, some women have come to the conclusion that a hint of disinterest is all that’s needed to properly respond to unrequited romantic feelings. these women have seemingly forgotten one of the most basic rules every woman should know when dealing with a man: we are not women. we do not take hints. there’s a reason why we sent the note in 3rd grade with a yes or no checkbox instead of a “maybe” or “sometimes” or “if i get naked”, and a grown ass woman knows this and acts accordingly.
thats it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything?
—the champ
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{ 421 comments… read them below or add one }
I think #5 should go for men too.
#6 Grown folks shouldn’t brag about not paying their bills on time.
@Hostess,
LOL I would laugh in someone’s face if they did #6. That’s an embarrassment.
@Hostess,
Bad Credit is NEVER a bragging point.
Unless you’re Rick Ross and you wanna prove your street cred.
@Hostess, I agree # 5 should apply to both grown men and women
@Hostess,
Co-sign.
Or even worse, brag about sh!t that normal people just do as Chris Rock once mentioned e.g. I take care of my kids!
@YGB,
“You SUPPOSED TO you dumb muthaf**ka! What, you want a cookie?”
Man… that was the.best.ever.
@blackberry molasses,
I ain’t never been to jail!
@YGB,
I aint no dumb ninja. I got my GED!
(Somebody really told me this)
@YGB, I personally think this one is an accomplishment
@Peysonic Temple #69,
unless you were fighting injustice or against a totalitarian government…FAIL.
@Peysonic Temple #69,
NO
@YGB,
LOL. Getting props for taking care of your kids is the equivalent of getting an award for breathing in and out.
I agree with this list… hey can we change the arrest thing? LOL I was last arrested for attempting to incite a race riot in Mississippi. That was justifed and I dont think it should be held against me considering I was dayum near lynched….okay I wasnt almost lynched but the cop was a 2520 with a bald head and he took me the extra scenic route in extra tight cuffs…so its not that far off…LMAO
so maybe Should not get arrested for foolishness like fighting at the club, having a suspended license, stealing, or other acts unrelated to defending the right to be black and free in America! LOL
@shay_d_lady,
“I was last arrested for attempting to incite a race riot in Mississippi.”
Ya know what… I expect nothing less of you. You got more stories than the Sears Tower
@Luvvie, Ya know what… I expect nothing less of you. You got more stories than the Sears Tower
..yeah I have been blessed with a wealth of experiences and close encounters of the hilarious kind but I havent gotten to the point where i can laugh at this one yet….
@shay_d_lady,but I havent gotten to the point where i can laugh at this one yet….
yes I have and I am proud of it I stood up for injustice!!
@shay_d_lady,
I’m proud of you for it!
@shay_d_lady, What happened in the 4 mins between your two posts that made you go from feeling you werent at a point of laughing to feeling that you were at a point of laughing?
@Peysonic Temple #69, That’s exactly what I wanna know
@Peysonic Temple #69,
Maybe she thought about it a little while, then realized she was chuckling. Yay, growth!
@Luvvie,
“You got more stories than the Sears Tower”
On a semi-related but not-at-all related note: Grown folks do not up a change a staple of a city (i.e. Sears Tower) and re-name it to stroke their ego (i.e. Willis Tower) because you will get dissed and folks will still refer to it as the former.
@Cheekie,
That’s like the university in the town I’m from. It’s been known by the same name for like 80 years and 5 years ago they decided to change the name. Of course, everyone still refers to it by the original name…lol
@miss t-lee,
The San Marcos folks were joking with that stuff… Like seriously, seriously?
@Cheekie, Just thinking about that mess makes my blood boil – it’s an international icon, not the local barbershop
@Kindred Smile,
Exactly. Tourists are still gonna be up in this mofo asking where the SEARS Tower is. Hey Willis, why don’t you climb the Sears Tower and get over yourself.
@Cheekie,
they changed the “sears Tower” name?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2009/mar/12/business/chi-biz-sears-tower-name-change-willis-march12
Blasphemy, right?
@Cheekie,
Who tha feeezy is Willis?
@shay_d_lady, I am intrigued and need to hear more of this story
****Grabs Crunch n’ Munch****
@shay_d_lady,
More details please!
Thank you!
@shay_d_lady,
lol, by “just” you don’t mean “last weekend” do you?
@shay_d_lady,
“race riots”
fight the power dam i feel yah
@BLUNTBLAZER,
*throws trash barrel through window for Shay-d-io Raheem*
SHAY-D-IOOOOOOOO!
Grown folks should not
be buying shyt they cant afford to impress others.. or period!
Grown Folks should
have a budget
a savings account
a checking account
a credit card
know how to dress in the most appropriate and flattering way to compliment thier figure….this goes for men and women
Grown Folks should not
be musty
be ashy
@shay_d_lady, i concur
Grown Folks should also:
Know how to cook, at least the simplest of meals
Know the difference between may i and can i (personal pet peeve)
Know how to save money
Have at least one bank account
Thats it for now…..
@JamaicanGirl,
“Know the difference between may i and can i (personal pet peeve)”
Girl, you showing your caribbean side! My great-grandma was a stickler for grammar and stuff. But eff all ‘at, I’m a thug
“Can I get $5?!”
@shay_d_lady,
Then damn it (can I say that) I’m not grown. I only put lotion on the skin that shows. Lol. Sometimes. And I haven’t had a credit card since I was suckered into gettin one my freshman year with that door hanger basketball hoop and t-shirt. Maxed it out in 2 months. Paid it off 4 years later and decided that credit cards just ain’t for me
@Imperfect,
“I only put lotion on the skin that shows.”
That’s why I wear long-sleeved turtle necks, jeans, gloves and boots.
@RedBeanzNRice,
lol.
smh@ you dressed like Knight Rider in 90 degrees of heat!
@Me fail english?,
Bwahahaha – yep! Complete with the curly afro too!
@RedBeanzNRice,
Is having skin that looks like the Sahara what’s hot in the streets now?
@YGB,
Is having skin that looks like the Sahara what’s hot in the streets now?
LMFAO @ that.. but It is so true..
and don’t think cause you’re light skinned it won’t show that you’re ashy.. we can tell the difference.. PUT SOME LOTION ON!
@Liryc,
i was wonderin do white folks get ashy?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LMFAO @ do white folks get ashy. I just had this lengthy discussion with my 2520 coworker. I had made an offhand comment about needing lotion to avoid ashiness, so she asked me what that meant (she always wondered) and she was like, well we get dry skin, too…the cracks on our hands. I told her that the ashy comes from the chalky color of dryness…we spent 30 minutes on that mess. It was hilarious and it made my day.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
of course they do… don’t you remember:
“It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”
@Imperfect,
I’m with you on that credit card ish. Took me down the same road at 18. I use my debit card, I’m only spendin money I got!
you might not like them but you should have one.. debit cards do not let you (at least in the M-town) rent a car without dayum near signing your name in blood and puttin ya grandma house up, or hold hotel reservations (a lot of times they charge the debit card that amount and then refund it) so having and using credit responsibly is a must of adult hood IMHO
@shay_d_lady,
I agree. I did the same thing as Ashley when I was younger, however, now I try to pay it off at the end of each month. I just use it to maintain credit.
@shay_d_lady,
But you can do all those things with a debit card… They will hold the money… You make sure you have the money to be held…
@Ashley Neicole,
See, that happened to me when I first started working. I went crazy buying all sorts of stuff (necessities but still). I cut that muthafukka up and paid it off – huge sigh of relief. Although I do have a credit card again I’m much more careful.
@Imperfect,
hell yea i only wear lotion in the summer months in the winter no skin is showing so why bother
@BLUNTBLAZER,
*SMH* at your woman having to look at a wrinkly alligator bag looking booty when you’re 35.
LMAO
@BLUNTBLAZER, um, cuz your skin is gonna get all dry and scaly and itchy. and yes, white people get ashy too. just cuz we can’t see it don’t mean their skin is made outta some ash-resistant material….or is it!?!?!?!
@A Plus,
Hell naw it aint! I can see that isht!
@Imperfect,
I’m with you Imperfect. I don’t have any credit cards… but I think it changes when you have kids though… Sometimes, there will be emergencies that need a credit card…. It’s just safer.
@shay_d_lady, I witnessed a conversation where one guy said he didn’t know anything about saving. All he knew about was spending. This was a 35+ year old man. *sigh*
@Hostess,
“I witnessed a conversation where one guy said he didn’t know anything about saving. All he knew about was spending. This was a 35+ year old man. *sigh*”
smh in shame and disbelief
@mssmtaylor, Looking back on it, I bet he’s one of the ppl who don’t feel the T.E.T. has any impact on his life cus he’s probably not a ‘big picture’ thinker.
@shay_d_lady, LOL. You took my post LOL. I agree 100%
@shay_d_lady,
“know how to dress in the most appropriate and flattering way to compliment thier figure….this goes for men and women”
You would think grown men and women know how to dress themselves. It really doesn’t make any sense to me why people can’t get this right. Just because YOU like the style, doesn’t mean the style will like YOU. There are all these new fashions out BUT if it does not compliment your figure, please put it to the side. Which brings me to another point…Gladiator sandals….now, these shoes are NOT for everyone. IF your hangeth over any side of the shoe when you tried them on in the store, take them off and place them back in the box and walk away. IF you had to ask for help to force the sandals around your toes (because of all those straps)…stop trying and let it go. It’s not for you.
And it’s only going to get worse as the summer goes by. I’m gonna start giving out violations.
Please be a friend and let your friend know when that top or dress or pants does not look good on them. If not, you are an accomplice to a crime against humanity.
@shay_d_lady,
“…be ashy”
not even on the weekends?
@shay_d_lady,
be buying shyt they cant afford to impress others.. or period!
Holy Rosary of the Chapel of St. Therese of Lisieux!!!
Grown folks should know the importance of signing your name to shyt and not sign shyt they havent thoroughly read or understand
@shay_d_lady,
Reason #405 why we’re in these TETs… People, please read the gotdamn fine print!!! *whoosah*
grown folks should also be computer literate
grown folks should not be involved in “he said, she said”
Grown folks should know not to pass around stupid hoax emails with out verifying the source
jaleel white aint dead, hezekiah aint came out of the closet (though he should, no offense), and aint no body banning preachers from t.v. (though there are several that should be)…
they should also know not to send inappropriate emails to someone WORK email address..especially if you’ve put NSFW in the subject line??
also Grown folks should not send text chain letters or stupid words of the day, or bible scriptures… if you just have to have to send it to my personal email address…
oh and of course
grown folks should have a work and personal email address…and the personal email address should not refer to any body parts, coloring, or any s.e.xual inuendo etc.. i.e. carmeltonguetwister69….or the like…..
@shay_d_lady, lmao
@shay_d_lady,
The sad thing is, someone probably does have the SN/Email addy “carmeltonguetwister69″.
@Lili,
lol. This is shockingly close to one of my sisters’ email addy
She’s ghetto.
@shay_d_lady,
also Grown folks should not send text chain letters or stupid words of the day, or bible scriptures… if you just have to have to send it to my personal email address…
THANK YOU!!!!
@shay_d_lady,
“also Grown folks should not send text chain letters or stupid words of the day, or bible scriptures… if you just have to have to send it to my personal email address…”
yes..yes.. I hate these with a passion. I cant stand getting txt msg talmbout
“if you love Jesus send this to 1800 ppl” first of all No!! and secondly No!!! this foolishness makes my teeth itch.
@mssmtaylor,
“if you love Jesus send this to 1800 ppl”
… cause if you don’t, when you get to the pearly gates…
St. Peter: Welcome to Heaven, God’s good and faithful (flips through The Book of Life)… wait a second… it says here that you didn’t forward that “Jesus Text” that came to your phone on April 14, 2017. TO THE FIREY PIT WITH YOU, HEATHEN!!!
@blackberry molasses,
hahahahah!!!! Really…that’s exactly how it’s gonna go down!!!!
@blackberry molasses,
HAHA LMAO!
@blackberry molasses,
LMAO
They betta leave me alone.
@mssmtaylor,
What about grown folks who use their facebook statuses as pulpits…Every single status is a sermon.Literally ,A Sermon. I feel guilty for not wanting to read it but, whatever happened to “Timmy is having a nice day”. :/
You know what scratch all that, grown folks shouldn’t be updating their facebook statuses 6 times a day anyway.
@addy,
welcome and sh*t
@addy,
“What about grown folks who use their facebook statuses as pulpits…Every single status is a sermon.Literally ,A Sermon. I feel guilty for not wanting to read it but, whatever happened to “Timmy is having a nice day”. :/”
I know somebody that does this errrrrryday.
And yes updating the status every 8.5 seconds kills me. Like ok Angie, we dont care that after you left the restroom, you went to the break room and then to the meeting that wasnt other until such and such a time lol.
@mssmtaylor,
I tend to delete motherlovers who update their sh*t every 0.0000021 seconds. That.is.ridiculous.
@shay_d_lady,
hell yea i hate chain messages i actually flash on people that do that makes no sense “send this letter to 50 friends in 30 seconds or you will be hit by 20 cars today”
that’s it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything?
uh, yeah. the ‘extended’ part. lol.
@Miss Patterson,
extend deez
@The Champ,
ewwww.
@The Champ,
“extend deez”
They have informercials for that.
grown folks do not live with their mama & nem
grown men’s pants/jeans/slacks are worn at the waist and don’t have room for an extra person
grown folks know the difference between formal and semi- formal attire
grown folks do not argue when the bill comes at a restaurant and they don’t skip out on the tip
grown women wear the right size bra and don’t show their bra straps
@Satya,
Can I add to the second point that grown men also don’t wear skinny jeans? If your pants can double as a turnacut, that’s bad news.
@Madame Zenobia,
Tourniquet = turnacut?
@Nola Darling,
YES! Thank you – I knew I wasn’t spelling that wasn’t correctly.
@Madame Zenobia,
If your pants can double as a turnacut, that’s bad news.
lol, how about grown people should know that “sounding it out” doesnt always work?
@The Champ,
*stifled guffaw*
@The Champ,
LOL!!
@The Champ,
Haha! Yeaaah, but as a grown woman I can admit I don’t know everything.
@Madame Zenobia, amen!
@Satya,
“grown folks do not argue when the bill comes at a restaurant and they don’t skip out on the tip”
Preach
@Nola Darling,
ESPECIALLY, if your ass is the one that suggested the venue in the first place.
Church.Preach.Tabernacle.
@Nola Darling,
YES! Or do the “shifty eyes” when the bill comes around like they didn’t just see it placed on the table. Stop avoiding the truth. Eff you, pay…this bill.
@Satya,
I ABSOLUTELY hate to see a woman with the wrong bra on. Whether it be too small or not have enough support. This lady asked me the other day where I got my bra from, ” baby that thang got you (breast) sitt’n all high. i want one of those!”
@The Dutchess, lmao! I have to tell that to my friend
@Satya,
grown women wear the right size bra and don’t show their bra straps
blame Carrie from Sex and the City for that mess….and oh what a mess it is…I don’t know why she thought showing her bra/bra straps was cute….it’s not.
@Satya,
“grown women wear the right size bra and don’t show their bra straps”
I am committing this crime as we speak. Luckily I have my hair down and you cant see straps.
I dont know what it is about turning 30 that makes my cup size go up. I refuse to by a bigger cup therefore I will continue to look as if I have 2 people trying to hop out of my shirt.
@mssmtaylor,
Memo
From: BBMo, Associate Member of the Tig Ol’ Bitties Society
To: mssmtaylor
Re: Ocular Assault per Large Chesticles in Inappropriately Sized Undergarments
For the love of humanity and as a fellow member of the Tig Ol’ Bitties Society, I must ask you to get re-fit and wear the proper size. We don’t want the girls to be at your knees when you are 55. Please do your part to make the World a prettier place.
Sinsurrly,
Members of TOBS
@blackberry molasses,
These are the rules of the TOBS that I took notes from the last meeting (I’m the ‘sec-uh-turry’)
i. Thou shalt not wear white bras with black or white shirts.
ii. Thou shalt not wear swimsuits or tanks where your aureola is visible
iii. thou shalt wear bra at all times
iv.thou shalt not get mad if men stare at your puppies when you wear ill fitted attire
@blackberry molasses,
I love it!!!!!
I now deem you my e-sister.
@mssmtaylor,
word. as a result you have 2 e-neices, Gem of the Ocean and Overit. They get out of line sometimes, but they’s my baby girls and I love em.
My first task as your e-sis… I’m measuring yo azz for a new bra and taking you shopping. La Petite Coquette is my FAVORTIE place for pretty SUPPORTIVE underpinings.
@blackberry molasses,
“My first task as your e-sis… I’m measuring yo azz for a new bra and taking you shopping. La Petite Coquette is my FAVORTIE place for pretty SUPPORTIVE underpinings”
BET!!!!!!!
So I was walking past the mirror at walmart during lunch and took a glimps at my tig old bitties and thought to myself “self..you oughta be shame”
@mssmtaylor,
“I refuse to by a bigger cup therefore I will continue to look as if I have 2 people trying to hop out of my shirt.”
LMAO! Please stop – not the laughs of course, but the assault on the eyes!
@YGB,
Yal think I’m playin???
I just spent oodles of money at freddies 6 mos ago. Yal know freddies caters to the busty. And that ish aint cheap either.
***The church would like to take up an offering for sister mssmtaylors (hey hangin low) fund”
@mssmtaylor,
Frederick’s can be expensive. Try Figleaves too though. They have a bigger selection and when you order from the uk site they have bigger cups and lower prices. I love them
@mssmtaylor,
I dont know what it is about turning 30 that makes my cup size go up. I refuse to by a bigger cup therefore I will continue to look as if I have 2 people trying to hop out of my shirt.
dorian g just emailed me and said that this comment is useless without pics
@The Champ,
I bet he did. Dorian cant handle all this here….
@mssmtaylor, girl I have a 40% discount @ Victoria Secret please stop wearing the wrong size bra. It is not good. I understand not wanting to admit you’ve gone up a size. you don’t look your best when your undergarments aren’t in order
@Satya,
“girl I have a 40% discount @ Victoria Secret please stop wearing the wrong size bra. It is not good. I understand not wanting to admit you’ve gone up a size. you don’t look your best when your undergarments aren’t in order”
*covering my ears while smh*
@Satya,
co-sign especially livin on ya own i hate meetin a girl wita a benz hella prada and gucci and over 25 still livin at her mama house.
except my pants still sag im only 27 I dont turn officially old untill I hit 30.
@BLUNTBLAZER, lol so true. my cousin just bought a brand new fully loaded Range but still liver with her mom in her old bedroom. dang she doesn’t even have the basement. mind you she’s 30 and cracks on my for not having a car. its ok i’m 2? and have a lovely apt of my own in a beautiful neighborhood to rest my head.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“except my pants still sag im only 27 I dont turn officially old untill I hit 30.”
lol No…..you officially turned ” too old to be saggin”
a looooooooong time ago
@mssmtaylor,
Yeah, I don’t think anyone should sag… unless the warden forbade you from wearing belts. Underwear is not sexy to look at.
@Me fail english?,
there is a art to saggin. You do it so the boxers dont show. they sag prolly 4 inches off my waste line. thas not bad. is it?
@Satya,
grown folks do not live with their mama & nem
Depends on your culture…
@Sula,
Yup. I know two lawyers in their 30s (one Panjabi, another Italian) who not only will not move out, but their mothers forbid it until they take a wife! They’re men too!!
@Me fail english?,
True…it does depend on the culture.
Don’t the ladies stay home until they are married also?
@miss t-lee,
Yup. Stay home and take care of the parents in their old age. Too bad my dad didn’t like me enough for that
@miss t-lee,
Yup. My Thai girlfriend stayed with her folks (at their insistence). When she bought her house, she had more than 20% for her down payment. Now that’s what I call being grown!
@Sula,
you know, this is ABSOLUTE truth. in Ghana, a woman lives with her parents until she marries. And even then, she usually just ends up moving with her husband to HIS parents house until they either a) build one of their own or b) build one of their own.
When I moved out after grad school and my dad told my grandmother, she almost wanted to come over here and clock him upside the head for letting his girl child live on her own. She thought we had a major falling out or something. He had to explain to her I just wanted my own space. I still don’t think she gets it.
Man I could preach a sermon about #2. Some people do way too much for simple events. If you are sexy, then you could really just wear a nice shirt and jeans and whatever else and I will know you are sexy. I don’t need you to come out 6 inch heels and hardly any clothes on for every event. Sometimes it is best to just keep it simple…
At least to me it is, sorry about the rant
Also grown folks don’t need to blow up because the waiter put ketchup on your burger. Grown folks know when it is appropriate to go off… like when they put mayo on that burger
Basically grown folks go out in public and don’t embarrass themselves
@A-Town Genius,
“Basically grown folks go out in public and don’t embarrass themselves”
Yeah so by this logic, Keyshia Cole’s mama Frankie, is an infant. Hmm… I agree.
@Luvvie,
LOL! Frankie and embarrassment ain’t never been acquaintances, let alone friends! I think other women actually get ashamed on behalf of her silly self!
@Luvvie,
“Yeah so by this logic, Keyshia Cole’s mama Frankie, is an infant. Hmm… I agree.”
yes this is true.
If yo mama walking around talmbout some dayum “code 10 and hollaaaaaaaaaaaa” it is safe to say that she is an infant
@mssmtaylor,
Don’t she remind of you a female Flava Flav???
@Luvvie,
Yeah I never found Frankie funny. She reminds me of one of those “former” *side-eye* crillmonsters that still act crackish. Like they’re permanently brain-damaged. This makes Me Fail a sad panda
@Me fail english?,
Oh Franki is DEF. brain damaged. Crack is one of those things that I think once you’re on it, you never TRULY get off of it. Ima say about 95% of crackheads never fully recover.
@A-Town Genius, “If you are sexy, then you could really just wear a nice shirt and jeans and whatever else and I will know you are sexy.”
I concur! If you’re sexy, then there’s no need to overdo it and it’s better to leave something to the imagination.
@A-Town Genius,
“Also grown folks don’t need to blow up because the waiter put ketchup on your burger. ”
Had to quit dining out with a few fools because of this sh*t here!
“GROWN-ASS MEN…should never try to “out-sexy” a woman.”
Ne-Yo and his collection of lip glosses would take personal offense to this. The following people will also not like this statement:
*Prince: How can ANYONE out-segzy the Prince of lycra, spandex, red lipstick and drawn in moles? He is Marilyn Monroe with a Y chromosome.
*Boy George – No explanation needed
@Luvvie,
Ne-Yo and his collection of lip glosses would take personal offense to this. The following people will also not like this statement
Lol at this! His lipgloss is poppin.
@Luvvie,
“Prince: How can ANYONE out-segzy the Prince of lycra, spandex, red lipstick and drawn in moles?”
Ya know? I know erry last one of his wives felt like the dude in the relationship. Po’ thangs.
@RedBeanzNRice,
i think all pretty boys are suspect. My girl gotta begg me to dress up. I dress up for work and thats it
@BLUNTBLAZER,
They are, but they like to be called “metro-sexual”. I say, “yeah, ok – whatever you wanna call it, lol”
And PREACH on having to be begged to dress up. Shew, if I didn’t pick out my man’s clothes for a fancy shendig, he’d be happy with going lookin like Fred Sanford. Yep, that’s the man I love, lol.
@RedBeanzNRice,
dont clown on fred sanford rip.*hummin theme song* lol
@RedBeanzNRice,
I call them SUSPECTual. Humph…
Grown women do not:
*Allow their feets to see the light of day after being socked up all winter without a pedicure.
*Wear pants with words on the booty. There is no reason why someone who can drink should wear the pants that say “JUICY”, “SEXY” or “BOOTYLICIOUS” on it. You are grown. Go get some slacks and dark denim.
Grown men do not:
*Rock V-Neck tshirts with nothing underneath. We aren’t impressed by your chesticles or your areola eyes. Put em away
*Spend more on video games than on their 401K
@Luvvie,
“*Allow their feets to see the light of day after being socked up all winter without a pedicure. ”
Cause there’s nothing worse than a woman walking barefoot on the kitchen floor, but it sounds like she’s wearing stilettos. Shame.
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Cause there’s nothing worse than a woman walking barefoot on the kitchen floor, but it sounds like she’s wearing stilettos. Shame.”
dam near spit my water all over the screen
lmbao
@RedBeanzNRice,
“Cause there’s nothing worse than a woman walking barefoot on the kitchen floor, but it sounds like she’s wearing stilettos. Shame.”
ROFL. This is a lethal visual.
@Luvvie,
Grown women shouldn’t go all winter without a pedicure.
@iloVEGrits,
For real!
Even if you’re not at the salon, you should keeping ya feets done up at the house.
@miss t-lee,
Exactly. This is just a hygeine issue. Even if you don’t wanna put color on, your feet are a part of you 12 months a year!
@Me fail english?,
I wonder why do women wear sandals in the winter dont the feet get cold 2?
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“I wonder why do women wear sandals in the winter dont the feet get cold 2?”
Its a race thing. I dont know too many of “US” walking around the dead of winter with our feet out.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Yeah, cosigning mssmtaylor. I still don’t understand though how the Chicago 2520s can still rock flip flops as deadly as our winters get. I look at them all: Girl you making ME cold. Put those thermal socks on and wrap each foot with a plastic bag. Then put some fur-lined boots on. It’s cold!
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I must say, that some chicks go extra hard in open toe shoes to the club…in 15 degree, NYC winds! And these were chicks that had to wait on the line!
Don’t they make boots in your boro???
@miss t-lee,
Or maybe because our winters (texas) don’t get that cold… I needs my pedicure even in the winter.
@Sula,
You and me both sis. Even between visits I’m still keeping things right at the house.
@Luvvie,
*Rock V-Neck tshirts with nothing underneath. We aren’t impressed by your chesticles or your areola eyes. Put em away
LOL
@Luvvie, I concur. why are designers even making clothing that say Juicy, Dereon, baby phat etc… on the butt? and shame on the fools who buy it
@Satya,
LOL. Yeah I never could get with this trend. Even as a young’n. And there’s no way my mama and daddy would’ve allowed it.
@Luvvie,
*Wear pants with words on the booty. There is no reason why someone who can drink should wear the pants that say “JUICY”, “SEXY” or “BOOTYLICIOUS” on it. You are grown. Go get some slacks and dark denim.
grown women…
do not buy their young daughters pants that say “JUICY”, “SEXY” or “BOOTYLICIOUS” on it. it is more than a little inappropriate when a child b/t the ages of 7 and 12 have these words on her backside.
@Luvvie,
and according to you, grown folks shouldn’t:
*mosh/crowd surf a fight
* take of their shirt and walk around asking “who wants some?!?!” to people that ain’t involved in the fight
*get all hysterical and ready to fight someone over a dude who ain’t checkin for yo azz…
@blackberry molasses,
* take of their shirt and walk around asking “who wants some?!?!” to people that ain’t involved in the fight .
This made me snort.
Ahhhh, one of my favorite subjects: “Growna**ness”, what I would call the antithesis (if you will) of Puffy’s “B**cha**ness” movement.
I love comedians last night I referenced Chris Rock tonight I’m rolling with Cedric the Entertainer. This post reminds me of his riff about meeting a dude who said to “Call me Delicious.” Ced’s response: “I’m a grown a** man dog. I AIN’T GONNA CALL NO OTHER DUDE DELICIOUS! What if that dude’s way down the street? How do I sound? ‘Ey Delicious!?! Hey….D!’”
So I’d like to add:
6.) Grown men and women realize they are too grown* for certain things/places/situations/potential situations. Examples: (a.) Going to the club where more shots pop off than a Dick Cheney weekend retreat. (b.) arguing or fighting over things just for the sake of arguing or fighting (b.1) going somewhere SPECIFICALLY to fight or purposely instigating a fight (c.) Causing a scene in an inappropriate place (dentist’s office, child’s day care, church) just to prove how big and bad you are or that you don’t play “dat.”
&
7.) Grown men & women don’t celebrate their ignorance/lack of knowledge/triflingness** or doing ignorant stuff. Examples: (a.) see ANYTHING on hotghettomess.com. (b.) Bragging about how you told off the daycare worker that was looking at you crazy or the lady at the nail joint because her lack of english skills was getting on your nerves (c.) boasting about how poorly you’re treating your bf, gf, jo, wl, baby mama or daddy.
8.) Grown men and women like to point out they’re grown – not necessarily in a rude way but when a situation may arise they don’t have a problem saying “Yeah, I may too grown for that.” or “I’ve grown past that behavior/attitude/thought process.”
That’s what I’ve got kids. Just remember stay straight and narrow or you’re soul gets cast…good night.
*note TOO GROWN not TOO OLD – they’re two different things
** or celebrate their children’s ignorance/lack of knowledge “Look Lil’ Derek’s five – he doesn’t know his ABCs but he sho’ can do the stanky leg!”
@Madame Zenobia,
or celebrate their children’s ignorance/lack of knowledge “Look Lil’ Derek’s five – he doesn’t know his ABCs but he sho’ can do the stanky leg!”
you mean like this foolishness here?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uniPAnhxQsw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=174iyUCEoZQ
@blackberry molasses,
Exactly – bad news.
@Madame Zenobia,
I love comedians last night I referenced Chris Rock tonight I’m rolling with Cedric the Entertainer. This post reminds me of his riff about meeting a dude who said to “Call me Delicious.” Ced’s response: “I’m a grown a** man dog. I AIN’T GONNA CALL NO OTHER DUDE DELICIOUS! What if that dude’s way down the street? How do I sound? ‘Ey Delicious!?! Hey….D!’”
LOL…i was actually thinking about that skit this morning during my daily mile run. btw, by “my daily mile run” i mean “morning sportscenter”
@The Champ,
by “my daily mile run” i mean “morning sportscenter”
lol. I was almost impressed. How was wing night? *hating*
@The Champ,
by “my daily mile run” i mean “morning sportscenter”
That’s exactly how I do my morning run! Except I run two miles!
Grown people (men and women) have at least a bill. I don’t agree that they don’t live at home. Circumstances may make it so that it’s better if they do. But if a grown man/woman lives with mom and/or dfad, they need to be chippin in on the rent/mortgage, phone, gas, electric, cable, water, etc
Grown men/women can accept fault. If you are one of those people who are wrong from time to time (I can’t relate, I’m always right. Lol) and you consider yourself grown, you need to be able to admit when you are wrong and take the necessary steps to make amends if needed
Grown men don’t have other grown men’s names painted/sprayed/stitched in a 20 font on their clothes. Unless they are being paid for it. Women too
Grown women don’t need to bust the window out your car…or that other chick’s. She might drive to your house at 3 a.m. with a bat and even get out the car. But a grown women has responsibilities that can’t be put on hold while she’s servin 5-10
Grown men don’t get their ears pierced. That’s not to say that they don’t already have them pierced…but they did that before they were grown. My daddy ain’t walkin into Piercing Pagoda pickin out piercin studs
@Imperfect,
Grown men/women can accept fault. If you are one of those people who are wrong from time to time (I can’t relate, I’m always right. Lol) and you consider yourself grown, you need to be able to admit when you are wrong and take the necessary steps to make amends if needed
I wish I would have said this because it annoys the hell out of me when people are obviously wrong but still can’t accept it.
Also grown men shouldn’t wear jerseys unless they are attending a sporting event or going to a place where a sporting event will be shown. The jersey also should match the sporting event so no football jerseys at the braves game
@Imperfect,
Grown men don’t get their ears pierced. That’s not to say that they don’t already have them pierced…but they did that before they were grown.
lol. good point.
question: is there a statue of limitations on tattoos as well?
@The Champ,
Yes! Grown men do not get tattoos of their woman, man, or kids name or any other shenanigans on their neck. I am more willing to accept that from a teen but no new neck tattoos at 35.
@Ms. T,
**sputtering**
bbbut… I’m getting a tat for my birfay!!! its on my inner ankle though… and its small. oh, and i ain’t 30 yet. nevermind.
@blackberry molasses,
Long as it is not on your neck it is cool!
@Imperfect, I sharply disagree about grown folks living at home. If a man is over the age of 25 and he still lives with his mama something ain’t right. In metropolis’ I give him till 27. Anything beyond that he is a buster. Go get a room ito start off. a grown man should not be living with his parents…at least not one that i’m talking to
@Satya,
Metropolis??? You mean where Lex and Lyle Luther live?
This made me laugh…
thats it for now. people of vsb.com, did i miss anything?
yes.
@overit,
wait. who let you out of rehab???
@The Champ,
LOLOLOL!
you know what I would be interested in a post that details some “non grown up” behavior exhibited by otherwise Grown A$$ folks…….just wonder what people will admit too….
@shay_d_lady,
I’d say amassing a nice collection of things: car, computer, etc.
Being grown is being able to afford it. The non-grown thing I just stopped doing is taking the time to maintain it. I could afford the maintenance and virus protection, etc. I was just too lazy to go. Which is stupid considering what I paid for this stuff.
Also, doctor/dentist visits. Me and the bf are both guilty of one each
@Me fail english?,
Also, doctor/dentist visits. Me and the bf are both guilty of one each
I am thee worst when it comes to doctor visits… Thee worst. I go to the dentist though.
@Sula,
See I’m the opposite. I HATE the dentist. I have to be dragged in kicking and screaming. But I got a pretty smile **cheese**
Grown men should not introduce themselves with a nickname. I will not call you Punkin (dude actually said that).
Grown people should not have Kiss Me Through The Phone as a ringback tone. ( yes this is another actual happening)
Grown people should not live off of others.
@Nola Darling, Grown people should not have Kiss Me Through The Phone as a ringback tone. ( yes this is another actual happening)
how about grown folks should not have ringback tones?
@shay_d_lady,
my baby mama got dat ring tone (smh) I hate that bissssssh wita passion.
@shay_d_lady,
I am still trying to understand why the ringback tone is so hated around these parts. I don’t have one (I’m too cheap for that kind of stuff) but I actually appreciate/like listening to music rather than listening to that annoying and monotone “drrrrring”…
Idk. Maybe it’s just me.
@Nola Darling,
I’m not even going to go as far as grown folks shouldn’t have a nickname even though it’s probably true. But if my nickname was punkin I’d drop that ASAP because grown men should not be nickname punkin
Grown folks know what and how to use condoms & contraceptives (they don’t act all shocked & surprised when/if they are impregnated or get burnt)
Grown folks should have or at least be tryin to get Health Insurance Coverage
(if they own a car they should have car insurance too!)
Grown folks don’t need to hoot and holler about “how grown they are” as a means to defend or justify their actions/behaviors/decisions….
Grown folks don’t live in their mama’s basement, talking about “yea it’s all good” on the contrary, no the hell it ain’t…
Grown folks don’t bytch and moan about their situation/status and then proceed to DO NOTHING about it…
Grown folks know their limits when it comes to alcohol consumption…
@maria, Girl…you wrote that shyt! LOL co sign!
@maria,
Amen to all of this!!!
but on the real, purchasing your own health insurance can be tough on the pockets, especially if you are unemployed, as I was last year. Praise BBJ and all the brown saints for my job that offers and pays for my health coverage!!
@maria,
This is a good list.
@maria,
“Grown folks know their limits when it comes to alcohol consumption…”
Yeah these people are obnoxious. Like, why couldn’t you figure out your tolerance level in college like the rest of us?
@Me fail english?,
haha yea if you still barfin latenite/earlymorin and you over 23 “go back to start do not pass go do not collect 200 dollas”
@maria,
Grown folks don’t live in their mama’s basement, talking about “yea it’s all good” on the contrary, no the hell it ain’t…
I like this alot. It’s not even that you can’t be grown and be in a bad situation. You need to know it ain’t all good and do everything possible to be getting out of that situation
@maria,
“Grown folks don’t live in their mama’s basement, talking about “yea it’s all good” on the contrary, no the hell it ain’t… ”
My friend and I were talking about how his best friend who is 30 still lives in his mama basement. Dude actually goes on dates with his mom. I mean its cool to take her out to eat but come on now cut the cord. Some woman asked him to go on a cruise and this fool said “naw me and ma going to the movies that night” wtf? ninja break up with yo mama pleeeeeeeeeeeez
@mssmtaylor,
GIRL, QUIT LYIN,
This can’t be real – going on dates with his mama?
*Sigh*
@YGB,
sad but tru my homie told me yestaday thick chick he was wit like hangin out wit her mom and he even banged tha daughter in the same telly room when the mom went to sleep. I couldnt give him dap 4 that.lol
@YGB,
Chile I kid you not…He is indeed real. My friend said he doesnt know how to tell him that living at home with his mama is definitely not a good look. I said ninja you tell him just like that. And its not like he cant afford it. He has a good job. I think it may have something to do with his mom not being able to pay the bills or some ish like that.
@mssmtaylor,
That’s laudable to stay wit mama til she gets her bills in order…but does she have to get date night?!
@Me fail english?,
“That’s laudable to stay wit mama til she gets her bills in order…but does she have to get date night?!”
Pleeezzzzzzzzzz, then ninjas go together.
They both cant keep a companion and yes she gets all the date nights.
Grown folks shall not have drama, say drama, or participate in drama unless they are in Luvvie’s stage production of “Dry Hair Chronicles” naw but really, grown people should not be having Dynasty-esque issues between friends and family. It is not cute, these women always are the ones who wonder why they are either single or attracting trifling men… law of attraction anyone? if you have beef with your “friends” every week do us all a favor and go slit your wrists… the right way.
@Naturally Alise,
i definitely agree with this….
-grown men should never wear cornrows. or any other hair/clothing style simply because it’s in fashion. as long as you’re clean and basically employable, how you style yourself is up to you. but it’s just not cute for you to be trying to get your hair “done” to look like lil bow wow.
-grown women should have a wardrobe with some basics(datewear, interview-wear, at least 1 formal dress, church outfits,etc.) as opposed to trendy ish. i’m in my 20′s, so i wear tights and little cutesy stuff with the rest of ‘em, but buying plastic costume jewelry when you own not 1 little black dress? fail.
-a grown woman should know that hair is supposed to look like hair. going to get ms. willie to put you some waves in the front, crinkles in the back with spiral curls and a soda on the side is for kids. please get it together.**
-on a similar note, grown people should have been exposed to different facets of african american culture. in the 8th grade we were probably all telling people how bad they “need” a perm. but when you’re 28, you need to know what natural hair looks like. mmkay? thanks.
**i think some of this stuff is young adult related. i wouldn’t judge someone over 45 who has a country a*s freeze hairstyle. (i would wonder where they found it, though.) it be’s like that sometimes.
@charli skipper, I agree with all of these
@charli skipper,
“-grown women should have a wardrobe with some basics(datewear, interview-wear, at least 1 formal dress, church outfits,etc.) as opposed to trendy ish. i’m in my 20’s, so i wear tights and little cutesy stuff with the rest of ‘em, but buying plastic costume jewelry when you own not 1 little black dress? fail.”
On a related note, grown people know how to dress appropriately for various occasions. i.e. not wearing your club skirt with the high split and 6 in heels as “business attire” just because it’s black.
@Happy Meal,
Today my co-worker has on a cute black skirt with a spaghetti strapped shirt. Grown women do not where spaghetti straps to the office, especially without a jacket or shirt over it.
@Ms. T,
haah!!!
At my office she’d be on her way home to change…consverative financial instituition does not play that.
@Ms. T,
I work in the most casual of settings (I’m in some cuffed jeans, a nice top and sandals– on WEDNESDAY) and even THAT wouldn’t get a pass here.
@charli skipper,
I agree with mostly everything you said, good list! I had to add my thoughts to the following.
“in the 8th grade we were probably all telling people how bad they “need” a perm. but when you’re 28, you need to know what natural hair looks like. mmkay? ”
That goes for all parties involved in the conversation, if you haven’t had a relaxer in 3 months and you claim to have relaxed hair then your grown arse know you need a perm. Now a natural due can be respected, but half relaxed and half natural is not the business.
@Ms. T,
okay! i definitely agree with that. if you wearing a permed style i might go on ahead and tell you need a touch up.
@charli skipper, -grown men should never wear cornrows. or any other hair/clothing style simply because it’s in fashion.
can we please add MOHAWKS/FEAUX HAWKS to the list. i hate hate hate seeing a dude over the age of 12 with a damn mohawk.
@A Plus,
also add weird colors we kno yo black a$$ aint blond/redhead/purple/blue i mean wtf. stick to ya natural hair color
@BLUNTBLAZER,
sooooo… I take it that this–
http://allergic2hatersaddicted2shopping.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/queens-kool-aid-hair1.jpg
is No Bueno.
@blackberry molasses,
Oh, my…
Sound the alarms! Call 911, her hair is having a seizure!
@blackberry molasses,
Wow! And the eyeshadow matches the hair! WOW
@blackberry molasses,
wow thats all i can say wow
@A Plus,
Mohawks are cute.
@Sula,
I was about to say mohawks are kinda cute if you have the head for it.
@charli skipper,
“….soda on the side”
i’m dead. LMAO and co-sign
and re: champ’s #5. maybe i need to look in the mirror and evaluate my own level of grown up-edness. but sometimes it’s not hinted disinterest as much as it is undecided-ness.
@charli skipper,
Eff dat!
Grown men need to learn how to take a hint! You’ll go much further in life if you can pick up on subtleties
@Me fail english?, agreed….I’m getting better about straight out telling a guy I’m not interested…but for years I was traumatized by the triffling dudes who would make a scene when rejected…..but if a girl really is interested her body language will tell you…. if her body language says “I really want to get away” she probably wants to get away
@klysha,
Word. Not to mention, flat out rejection has a tendency to not work a lot of the time either. Conceited dudes seem to think you’re playing hard to get; low self-esteem dudes think you just need convincing (read: a slave). Might as well just do what you’re comfortable with.
@Me fail english?,
thing is, i can understand how someone could be unclear about the difference between “playing hard to get” and just “i dont wanna get got”. hmmm…sounds like a subject one of the two hundred female bloggers who comment here could run with.
@Me fail english?,
I dunno I think girls handle break up alot worst than guys. It takes me a week to break up with a girl cause they dont get it. And if you break up with um bluntly they turn into stalkers. I had to get a restraing order on one broad. Guys we jus keep it movin to the next one.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Too mad at the restraining order!
But I had a homegirl who went a little too far and the restraining order may have been needed in her case.
This somewhat comes off like women daring a man to feel some kinda way about the “taking a hint” culture…
Yes, grown men should be able to detect vibes of disinterest…and we generally do (I’ve walked away after asking a woman’s name plenty of times because I could smell that she couldn’t be bothered)…
…but women could be at least slightly less cowardly and instead of, say, expecting brothers to just go away once her interest has died, or doing the corny straight to voicemail every day thing, just step up and say something, even if it’s “let’s just be friends.”
Women always fix their mouth to tell males “be a man!” This means men have the right to tell females “be a lady!” It’s OK for a woman to close the opening herself.
Grown ass women should NOT suck their thumbs. Seriously. It’s.not.cute.Nay-Nay.
@RedBeanzNRice,
This goes for grown-up folks of all genders. That sh1T is not cute if u r older than 3!
@YGB,
“This goes for grown-up folks of all genders. That sh1T is not cute if u r older than 3!”
I am giggling inside.
My 42 yr old cousin does this. I think she only does it when shes sleepy tho lol
@mssmtaylor,
the cleaning lady who subsitutes at the security desk during lunch does it when signing guests into the building, while wearing messy cornrows… she’s all of 40… FHL (F her life)
@blackberry molasses,
Eww gross! I hope I never go to your building and have to use her pen. Yuck!
@blackberry molasses,
A 40 year-old thumbsucker?
I am floored. I mean, I am mothereffin one with the floor right now. W…T…F.
@blackberry molasses,
LOL
@blackberry molasses, LMAO!! this is just pathetic…
@blackberry molasses,
FHL (F her life) .
Okay this is hilarious.
@RedBeanzNRice,
YES! I sucked my thumb all the way up until freshman year of high school and was afraid I’d end up like my half-sister or cousin (sucks four of his fingers…ugh!) but then I just lost the
oral fixationdesire to thumbsuck. Just like that. God is good.Plus, thumbsucking makes your thumb smell like hot dog water.
@Cheekie,
“Plus, thumbsucking makes your thumb smell like hot dog water.”
That made me chuckle and gag at the same time, hahahaha.
@Cheekie,
Plus, thumbsucking makes your thumb smell like hot dog water.
MEDIC!!!!
*crying*
@Cheekie,
lmao! It also effs up the alignment of your teeth. I went to school with a beautiful boy, ruined by his buckteeth. Such a shame.
OK, that particular person doesn’t just need to grow up. They are flat out completely OFF.
I don’t even feel right attempting to suck my thumb.
also,
-grown folks should not brag about drug/alcohol consumption. (we’re all legal, baby. we know you’re allowed to drink.) i worked with this girl with w**d lips that would announce that she was going home to smoke. um…sit your trick a*s down. that ain’t cute.
-and young adults should not whine about how they’re getting old or how old they are. can we really afford to be irresponsible after a certain age? no. should we be enjoying this time before we get old FOR REAL? yes. f outta here with that creaky joints mess…
@charli skipper,
“-and young adults should not whine about how they’re getting old or how old they are. can we really afford to be irresponsible after a certain age? no. should we be enjoying this time before we get old FOR REAL? yes. f outta here with that creaky joints mess…”
I am guilty of this. Thanks for putting me in my place.
@mssmtaylor,
me 2, i don;t wanna grow up i’m a toys r us kid (sad face) womp. womp…I’m still adjusting-i feel like a golden girl at 23, my firnd in med school told me it’s all downhill once u hit 25 and i’m spooked!
@PrincesMo,
That’s cuz she’s in med school. Wait til she’s done with her residency…
…on second thought, it’s all over for her. But there’s still hope for you! (provided you don’t pursue a career in medicine or finance)
@charli skipper,
I’m so very guilty of complaining about getting old.
Good post but Idk. Different individuals do different things. Maturity varies. A lot of people are adults in age but not in experiences. Like if you are 32 and have never been anywhere or had to do anything for yourself does that make u grown? And I know a few 30 year olds that live w/ their parents, they are working on Phd’s tho – does that make them any less than grown? Idk. I also know 16 year olds that have to make VERY adult decisions that have to do w/ their own survival and the survival of siblings, or their own kids and whatnot.
I guess that I would say that someone is grown when they are over the part of their life when it’s all about having fun, and thinking that the world revolves around them. An adult, imo, is in the stage of their life when they are building. A career, a family, traditions, a legacy, their life, good relationships, networks, etc. The only thing that I can think of that I think grown people really SHOULD absolutely do as a “grown” person is mentor. If you are successful and good at what you do, teach it to a youngin’ so they have a role model. And don’t have ur a$$cheeks hanging out. Even kids won’t respect that. They will be embarrassed. that is all.
@pgh muse,
“And I know a few 30 year olds that live w/ their parents, they are working on Phd’s tho – does that make them any less than grown?”
Co-Sign. You really don’t know people’s financial situations/back storied/homelives to be judging them on where they live, how many bank accounts they have, what/if they drive and what-have-you. That’s exactly why I hate posts like these. What if I said some sh*t like “grown @ss people don’t have kids out of wedlock?” How offensive is that to everyone who has done so and how ignorant is that for me to say without knowing anything about these people?
I bet everyone who mentioned something that a “grown @ss person” shouldn’t do has done those things in the past five years. And five years from now they’ll look back at some of the things they do now and claim that “grown @ss people don’t do that.”
SMH
@Jarrod Halsey,
“I bet everyone who mentioned something that a “grown @ss person” shouldn’t do has done those things in the past five years. And five years from now they’ll look back at some of the things they do now and claim that “grown @ss people don’t do that.”
I feel where you coming from, but I think that’s the point. With some of the entries, ( I can’t speak for all of them) it just indicates that certain behaviors that you have since left behind are a part of “growing up”.
You are no longer useful once you stop learning and evolving and as “grown” as we all think we are, there is usually someone older and more mature who looks at our behavior and sees us as “wet behind the ears”. Posters on this site range from college-aged (mebbe high skool?) to gawd knows how old..after all, this IS the internet, so represented here are a range of life expereiences, and lessons hopefully learned.
However, I think “grownness” is representative of more of a mindset (should you really still be wanting to do all the same things you did 10 years ago), and not necessarily material possessions.
@Jarrod Halsey,
I agree with you to a certain extent. People cant help where they came from. However, I think this post was geared more towards trifflinazzness and immaturity. Being *grown* is about maturity. At a certain point yes you should have a bank account, a car, your own place to live etc, but I wouldnt dog a person that didnt because I dont know what circumstances are permitting them from having all these.
@Jarrod Halsey,
what liquid do you use to wet your blankets? i’m guess water, but, if it were me, i’d probably use a ton of hand sanitizer cause i dig the smell
@The Champ,
heh
@pgh muse,
Look at e-dopple making all types of sense.
100% co-sign
@pgh muse,
“And I know a few 30 year olds that live w/ their parents, they are working on Phd’s tho – does that make them any less than grown?”
The difference is that for the individuals you refer to, living with the parents is merely a means to end, not the end. Making a sacrifice (eg lack of privacy/independence) inorder to improve oneself is some grown azz stuff.
The non-grownuppedness refers to those who are living at home just to mooch!
@YGB,
Exactly. If you are in that type of situation you should be making moves to get out of it and working on a phd or something like that is the type of move that will allow your parents to live with you when you are done. Now that’s grown
@pgh muse,
See that’s why you are the one and only e-twin for this gal.
My take is:
“Grown folks should let other grown folks make the best decisions about their lives and focus on themselves”…
Grown people should not tell you things that someone has said/ done regarding you and say, “but you can’t say nothing,” or “don’t tell her I told you.”
Grown folks should not be listening to Gucci Man, OJ da Juiceman and the like.
Grown men should own a suit and tie.
Grown women should not have panty lines.
Grown women should not use the phrase, “she think she cute.”
@Nicki Sunshine,
Grown folks should not be listening to Gucci Man, OJ da Juiceman and the like.
*singing “So Icey”…aye!!!
@miss t-lee, U made my ears bleed. lol. My bf loves all of that mess.
@Nicki Sunshine,
It definitely has a time and a place.
Preferably in a club, when I’m tipsy…
@miss t-lee,
“Grown folks should not be listening to Gucci Man, OJ da Juiceman and the like”
I’ma have to disagree with you sistah. I still listen to that crap (on the radio of course) you wont catch me purchasing that ish tho.
Who’s hip to Raheem Devaugh? Me thinks I heart him..
@mssmtaylor,
Nope…you have to disagree with Nicki Sunshine…
I appreciate all music, ignorant or otherwise…lol I openly admit to liking Plies…what?!?!
I like Raheem…but only in small doses.
@yaw:
**whispers: I secretly like Plies***
Back to you program.
I HATE Gucci:
Gucci Ban dana
Guccci Gucci Ban Dana
Ay.
LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
**whispers: I secretly like Plies***
I knew it!!!!
@mssmtaylor,
I LOVE him…you should find his mixtapes… they just may be better than the mainstream albums
@Nicki Sunshine,
LOL Grown folks can’t listen to Icy or Turn My Swag On, or Ricky Bobby??? Then I am an infant. I am an admitted beat w***e! Not that I am saying these songs are the best songs, but I do jam them though.
@Ms. T,
I am an admitted beat w***e!
I need this on a t-shirt, so true!!
@Ms. T,
I got all Gucci mane’s cds “yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”
cant buy solja boy. oj is coo tho
@Ms. T, You are NOT listening to Ricky Bobby, tell me you are not.
It reminds me of No Limit, when it first came out.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I even made my little cousins teach me the dance! LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
Ok I know this goes against the *growness and ish but me and my 4yr old daughter was doing the Ricky Bobby lol.
*holds head down in shame, turning BET off and picking up a book
@mssmtaylor,
THANK YOU.
I was gon have to think about snatchin my e-neice up and taking her butt to the library on you azz, e-sis.
Lord knows I have enough practice doing that with my REAL in-laws and their kids **smh**
My and my other sis-in-law with SENSE are the aunts that get them a toy, some Osh Kosh and a BOOK for every Christmas and birthday.
@blackberry molasses,
my 5 year old son can home from pres-school talkin bout look dad i can do the stanky leg. Im like wtf do yall do at school and im payin for this?
@Nicki Sunshine,
Grown women should not have panty lines. .
Speaking of which, this ties to the post last week, but Im hating on thongs.
F*CK A THONG!!
@V Renee,
i abhor panty lines…do something about that mess, why does it look like you have 4 cheeks!?! i get some people don’t like thongs, but u best get a girdle or those seamless joints…there is no reason to have pantylines in 2009–just shameful!
@V Renee,
lol. I gotta side with team eff a thong. If I have to (slacks with no shirt to cover the booty, skirt, form fitting dress, etc.) I’ll do it. But if I’m just at the gym or something fuhgettaboutit.
Aint no way I’m strappin on a yeast factory to make the booty buttcheeks more visually appealing. The best part about pantylines is that I can never see my own
@Me fail english?,
The best part about pantylines is that I can never see my own .
Exactly. I had a friend say “I don’t understand why people hate panty lines, aint I suppose to be wearing panties”.
In extreme cases I will wear a thong, and thats if the seamless/no panty line regular panties don’t work properly. Or just none at all.
@V Renee,
I’m down with Eff a thong, too. My arse don’t need flossing, thanks. I like the lace boy shorts, though.
@Cheekie,
I don’t know Cheekie, I say eff the thong and the lace boy shorts too with their riding arses!
@Ms. T,
The lace ones vary for me, actually. If they’re wider down there, they’re okay. If they’re skinnier down there, then…well…wedgie.
@V Renee,
I gotta join that movement… Thongs are limited to very exclusive and special occasions… like tight pants or no other option (i.e the only underwear you have at bf’s house is a thong)…
On the regular, gimme some boy shorts. Thanx much.
You STILL have this picture of homie popping it like a chick. Very questionable…
@Jarrod Halsey,
Okay?
I thought I remembered seeing it before…lol
@Jarrod Halsey,
lol, that pic is worth a couple hundred thousand words
well, just from this morning at work….
grown ass people should not come to work and spend more time on the internet, talking to friends, and going out to smoke than actually working. my co-worker just had a little ouburst about a fellow co-worker, who, unfortunately doesn’t work…to each his own, I suppose.
but personally, i believe that….
grown ass people should not get involved in office drama. I wish people would stop telling me about the issues they have with other people in the office.
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
grown ass people should not come to work and spend more time on the internet
BLASPHEMY!!!
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
“grown ass people should not come to work and spend more time on the internet”
We’re all embryos then because this blog wouldn’t have half the comments it generates if that were true.
Besides we all got that multi-window thing going on. lol
@Cheekie,
lmao “multi window” hell yea
this site gets me thru the day
so wha
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I just looked at the clock and noticed I been on vsb since 8am its now 3:25.
Thats a dayum shame.
@Cheekie,
now, how are yall gonna take my sentence all outta context and shyt…lol!!
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
Seriously, though, I wish I could calculate an accurate ratio of time spent doing actual work and time spent on here since it tends to blend together.
I’d probably be ashamed of myself. lol
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
grown ass people should not come to work and spend more time on the internet, talking to friends, and going out to smoke than actually working. my co-worker just had a little ouburst about a fellow co-worker, who, unfortunately doesn’t work…to each his own, I suppose.
…says someone typing on the internet… The irony!
@Sula,
irony deez….
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
That was beautiful!
I liked.
A Grown @ss man
1) should not have a hair that always appears wet and stringy
2) should not wear tight pants or shirts. This is what women do.
3) should not expect their 50+ yr old and retired aunt, mother, or grandmother to buy a car for them.
4) Should not think the only way to make money is selling drugs.
(are you telling me you can’t use your brain for anything else?)
5) should not equate manhood with how many woman you’ve slept with.
6) should not define their manhood in being able to feed and clothe an adult woman
7) should not care what people think.
(why do you feel this need to not look like a punk or always seem cool?)
(maybe your girl has trust issues b/c of the BS you’ve done in the past?)
A Grown Woman
1) should not want a man to relieve them of the responsibilities of being an adult.
2) should not use what’s b/w their legs as a bargaining tool.
(if the only thing you have to offer is sex you need to re-evaluate your existence)
3) should be accountable and accept responsibility for their actions.
(if you always have an excuse, always justifying, always being done wrong you need to look at yourself)
5) should have a resistance to instant gratification
@Humble_One,
good list. oh Humble_One….
@Humble_One,
So, a grown woman can’t get a #4? That’s discrimination.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Hahhahahh!!!
@RedBeanzNRice,
LOL it’s too late for her to correct it now.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Wow how did I miss that? LOL
4) A grown woman will use discretion when choosing who they will have a child with.
@RedBeanzNRice,
haaaaaaaaaaaaa too funny
@Humble_One,
Uh, buddy… Your 7) on the grown man list negates all the others…
this, just from this morning at work….
Grown people should not come to work and spend more time on the internet, talking to friends, and going out to smoke than actually working. A fellow co-worker just had a little blow up about a fellow co-worker and team member who unfortunately, doesn’t do much work at work. SMH….
However, another thing….
Grown people should not have nor participate in office drama. I don’t know why people feel comfortable enough to tell me about their issues with other people in the office.
@N.I.A. happyhumpdayya’ll….,
“Grown people should not have nor participate in office drama. I don’t know why people feel comfortable enough to tell me about their issues with other people in the office.”
Sometimes, you’re just kinda thrust into office drama. Luckily I’ve never had this problem. But on a slightly related note…
Please don’t stop by my desk during working hours to vent about the job, the boss, the co-workers… I hate to turn someone away in their time of need, but they’re not gonna tag me as part of Team Angry in this betch. I need this job and I’ll be happy to speak to you at happy hour or some ish. Otherwise, I shall be forced to thrash you. I call it TET-checking
@Me fail english?,
I feel you. I work where my mom works. She’s a very ambitious woman, which is a direct threat to all the other insecure brown women in this joint. As a result, I’m disliked because I’m the offspring! I try to avoid it all the time, but my name stays in somebody’s mouth. I’ve never seen so many bitter 45+ year olds in my life.
@Me fail english?, Say word. Im working and going to school. NO ONE thats working and going to school has time to loose their job (or GOOD gubment job) off some work place drama. Just like I leave my work at the door, (which usually i can) i also leave the emotions that go with things that happend durring the day at the door as well.
Complete Co-Sign
My addition
Grown Folks shall stop getting upset about small principals in the workplace.
ex. Snitching VS. How someone talks to you.
I feel as though snitching is a world issue. Its a problem so pervasive that it topples governments and gets the United Nations trying to enforce sanctions. Clearly Snitching is a major issue in comparison.
How someone talks to you. Now I know you think yourself grown, and thats GREAT. HOWEVER, whats grown about going off at work and being escorted from the building by security, having an inquire into your inter office behavior while being placed on leave (administrative if your LUCKY!) and possibly having a civil suit filed against you?
Dosent sound grown to me.
What does sound grown however is holding it in for the moment so your reaction dosent spark further conflict and letting it go in whatever why you deem best at a later point in time. (video games, working out, listing to music or what have you) This adults acting like children every time theirs some conflict or adversity has to stop.
(sidebar: that McCafe commercial…….has me feeling some kind of way about it. I feel the good people at McDonalds corp. trying to reach out for black people BUT i have 2 problems with the commercial.
1. how DARE Dwele make a jingle better than most of his album songs? OUTRAGE! If MOST of your songs could be that sexy and soulful maby i would have explored you as an artist before the MC in the commercial gave the McCafe coffee a better introduction than you)
2.the fact that McDonalds is chasing that black dollar by dangling some sweet “neo” soul melodies at us is sort of insulting. Imean dont try to really promote the product just get dwele to do a song so we will run to McDonalds and buy up the entire McCafe as a race. Lmao
@ESQuared,
1. how DARE Dwele make a jingle better than most of his album songs? OUTRAGE! If MOST of your songs could be that sexy and soulful maby i would have explored you as an artist before the MC in the commercial gave the McCafe coffee a better introduction than you)
I thought I was the only giving him the side eye for that commercial…
He’s been on my list ever since he cancelled his concert here last year.
@miss t-lee,
nope. I’m joining you all up and through that side-eye at MickyD’s
@blackberry molasses, Yeah McDeez is getting the Huey Freeman issue side eye from me.
(oh and e-boo i got tied up at work yesterday so i didnt see your comment until i got back home. So to make it up to you ive got some whipped cream the instrumental to the Dwele jingle and the keys to the conferance room no one uses. Care for a lunch meeting?
@ESQuared
I’ll see you at 12.
@ESQuared,
LOL. I wholeheartedly agree with this.
First Calvin got a job, then McNuggets Lovin, now this. They’re lucky those Snack Wraps are so dang tasty!
Also, what are your thoughts on Mickey Factz’ debut on Honda Records?
@Me fail english?,
Honestly i wont judge him as an artist because i havent heard all the tapes. However from the bit ive heard, hes not gonna be my favorite new rapper out but he gets the benifit of the doubt.
It seems like all the forgin car companies are looking for an in into the black market. the kia “soul” and the like so yeah….
HOWEVER i cant fade his carrear move. as someone said bellow “realize that after 25 being a rapper is not a carrear plan” i would have stayed my happy behind in school and gotten that law degree. NYU law? Come on now, do you know how hard it is to get in? I know people who would break their backs and go to class everyday on a stretcher every day if it meant they could attend NYU law.
@Me fail english?, Don’t get me started on effin Mickey Factz. I hate him. I hate his glasses. I hate his hands. And I hate his shoes.
@Kindred Smile,
I hate his hands
Dayum.
*chuckling*
@Kindred Smile,
Da hell? You hate EVERYBODY’s shoes!
And this makes me smile. Thank you.
@Kindred Smile, lol his hands cant be worse than SJP’s so idk if i can roll with you on this one. lol
(but your right about his glasses, i think he and Dwayne Wayne ran into each other and in a blind feel around for their glasses {ala Velma in Scooby Doo} got each others glasses by mistake. lol
The pictures made this post for me. I chuckled for a good 30 seconds as a result.
@Slim Jackson,
its the gift that keeps giving and sh*t
Grown folks should:
-Be forward thinking. At 26 plus, rapper is an aspiration, not a career plan.
-Accept responsibility. By now you may have noticed that you can’t change others’ actions, only your reactions. Play your hand to the best of your ability and stop blaming “the man” on why you don’t read good.
-Get yo’ hand outta my pocket! If you don’t like savings or disposable income, cool. But just because I go without and budget to the tee, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to my extra bread.
@Me fail english?,
“At 26 plus, rapper is an aspiration, not a career plan.”
True. Being grown involves knowing when to cash the check sent to you courtesy of reality!
@YGB,
I still rap and im 27 but I keep my day job cause i got responsibilities. I have a BA degree but music is my passion. I love music, Im not you average rapper tho Im hella political and rap about real life stuff like police brutality, being a single dad etc. not big rims and stuff like that.
Im “thagrindaholic” on myspace google me.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Im “thagrindaholic” on myspace google me.”
NO!
@YGB,
AHahahahah!
@Me fail english?,
“Get yo’ hand outta my pocket! If you don’t like savings or disposable income, cool. ”
Or on another note don’t watch my dollas! If I like to go places or am making a purchase don’t tell me what I can and can not afford, you don’t know my money.
@Ms. T,
This burns me up. We’re planning our next couple rounds of layoffs and mofos are sitting there choosing who gets the ax, based on who they think needs the money most. Da fcuk?! You don’t know their situations. Leave that out of it
@Me fail english?,
A list I can get behind.
Funny but so true. Great post & great comments.
- Grown folks should not have to go around telling people that they’re grown.
- Grown folks should not brag about things they’re SUPPOSED to do. An example of this that I hear all the time is: “I pay my child support.” or “I spend time with my kids.”
- Grown folks should not whine, pout, throw tantrums or resort to “baby talk” to get their way.
@Shawnta`, Agreed!
@Shawnta`,
“- Grown folks should not have to go around telling people that they’re grown.”
Most def. It’s like someone going around and saying they’re cool. Um, if you have to say it, no you’re not. Others say it for you.
@Shawnta`,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
Ahem.
-If you say you will do something…stick to your word. I should not have to have to remind you to follow through on some sh*t that you verbally committed yourself to. Your apology will be ignored the next day when you get on your, “Oh I forgot” sh*t.
-Clean your living space.
-We dont want to hear about how you’re in the studio everyday and whatnot. We. Just. Don’t.
-Don’t make sideways comments about a coworker and expect me to laugh or chime in. That’s not my business.
@Mr. Mister,
YOU HIT IT ON THE NAIL….. I CAINT STANNND A MOMOFUGGA THAT DOES NOT KEEP THEIR WORD, AND IS IRRESPONSIBLE WITH TIME. If you commint to something.. Follow thru.. If you make a promise, keep it.. That is a pet peeve of mine. Usually that type of person is a pathological liar. There are a million and one ways to communicate in 2009… Dayum! Shoot a ninja a text!
@Mr. Mister,
welcome and sh*t
I have a few to add:
1. GROWN MEN & WOMEN: Your voicemail should not include a 2 min excerpt of the latest Lil Wayne verse on his new mixtape. This could be your boss calling. Or your mother.
2. GROWN MEN: Your wardrobe should not be primarily composed of white tees, basketball shorts and gym shoes. Imma need you to get some real clothes in your life.
3. GROWN WOMEN: Your wardrobe should not be primarily composed of short skirts, tight shirts and skripper heels….unless your job calls for it…
4. GROWN MEN: Get out yo momma’s house. I don’t wanna be coming over to visit and me, you and her watchin “da soaps” while I’m tryin to get my grind on.
5. GROWN WOMEN: You should not be a regular in the McDonald’s drive thru every day of the week because you refuse to learn how to cook a damn meal. That’s why child obesity is a problem now. Cook them kids some real food!
That’s all I can think of for now.
@Ashley Neicole, “1. GROWN MEN & WOMEN: Your voicemail should not include a 2 min excerpt of the latest Lil Wayne verse on his new mixtape. This could be your boss calling. Or your mother.”
They shouldn’t have caller tunes either.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Amen.
@Ashley Neicole,
yea i hate 5min long answering machine messages with the latest booty shaking song. Come on now really. my homie pulled me by the collar and told me when I was 23 “dogg get a real answering machine message its time” and I thank him for that
**Grown ass men & women DONT NEED Co-signers for major purchases. This means you can’t afford it or your credit is muffed up already.
**Grown ass men & women should not be fighting in the club. **Grown ass men & women should not have to constantly announce that they are Grown ass men or women.
**Grown ass men & women should not wear what the young kids are wearing or anything TRENDY for that matter (ex: colorful skinny jeans on a grown ass man).
**Grown ass men & women should never have to BUY MINUTES for their cellphones.
@Yaa, Girl… yes… co sign all up and through this joint…..especially on the trendy.. women have a real problem.. if you grown you should not be shopping in the jrs section…I hate seeing grown ups in denim mini skirts, baby tees and tights…WTF? you are 40!
@shay_d_lady,
“jrs section”
Grown women should also know the difference between juniors and misses sizes!! If it’s an odd size (i.e. 3,5,etc.) it’s juniors and leave that ish on the rack.
However, anyone with a semblance of the curve cannot properly fit a jr. size and shouldn’t buy it.
@Yaa, someone should automatically mail this list to you once you pass the age of 25, and at the age of 30 it should come again with the letters printed in red. From 25-30 you get a grown probationary period, but at thirty you have to pay fines for violations…. I know people who have violated every item on this list. Many of these people are over 30. Perhaps as a public service I should sent this list to the most blatant offenders.
@Yaa,
“Grown ass men & women should never have to BUY MINUTES for their cellphones.”
These people have gone to Metro PCS.
@Humble_One,
hahaha good one!
@Yaa, lol @ buying minutes for a cell phone. I tried to tell a dude that recently. He was like boost is cool for me. F outta here with that 1. how unstable are you that you can’t afford $45 a month
@Yaa,
I used to know a girl named YAA from east palo alto she’s a model in ATL now tho. I gotta hit her up this week.
@BLUNTBLAZER, There are a lot of us Yaa’s floating around.
@Yaa,
Well…………… I must say, I didn’t NEED a co-signer… But ya girls parents (that would be my parents) got that SUPER-50 YEARS OF COMBINED LABOR MONEY-MEGA-WALK OFF THE LOT WIT A BEEMER NO $ DOWN-EXTRA SPECIAL-A1-GOOD GOOD CREDIT… and a chikk was trying to get a car note on the low-low. Pops co-signing saved me about 2-fiddy a month.
@Laneianna, LOL. You get a pass LOL
Oh and grown individuals should not have their car privileges taken away by their parent. Case in point: The other day I went with my friend to his mothers house to help her out with some things (old age). We get there and his brother, who is 40 something mind you, living in her apartment…WITH his “woman” there too. We get to talking…and somehow it came up that she didn’t have a car. We ask, “Is it in the shop? Repo’d? Something?”
Nope.
She’s also around 40 years of age…at home…and her father took away her car privileges (his car too) because she’s not working.
Word?
40 years old and you & your father are still having “THAT TALK?” Worthless.
@Mr. Mister,
40 years old and you & your father are still having “THAT TALK?” Worthless.
yea. she needs a pep talk from starbury
@Mr. Mister,
“She’s also around 40 years of age…at home…and her father took away her car privileges (his car too) because she’s not working.”
How does this HAPPEN?!
@Cheekie,
Yea also Grown ass people shouldnt be livin with they mamas then move in their gf/bf/ kids. I mean If you have 3 generations livin under one roof ima call national geographic on ya nuthin a$$es. Actim liek you waitin for big moma to die so you can take over.
@BLUNTBLAZER, Yeah big momma is not going anywhere even with all the Newport smoking. They need to be ashamed…she’s a state accountant w/o a degree.
@Mr. Mister,
I just realized how much I love your name. lol
@Cheekie, Thank you m’lady.
grown a$$ folks should know that “business” is an understood prefix to the phrase “casual day” at the office….. this is not the time to wear your best and hottest club gear and matching come F!ck me pumps and dudes its not the time for you to get as bummy as you can, sweats, wrinkled dirty shirts, etc…..and please no rubber flip flops with that horrible flower attached…
@shay_d_lady,
Ohhhh, the flower flip flops need to be outlawed.
@shay_d_lady,
Wow, and I JUST got a mass email about appropriate attire. The sun has come out. They know what’s up. I’m mad they said we can’t wear capri pants until after Memorial Day. Wore a dress today, but planned on rockin’ the capris tomorrow. Tomorrow is gonna be 82! The Man is a mofo.
…
However, this email WAS needed for some folks. lol
@Cheekie,
Them emails are very necessary. I was used to the “two toe rule” (no more than two toes should be showing from a woman’s sandals) these fools at my job already broke out the flip flops!
Please note: It has yet to hit 90 in my city on a weekday. smh
LOL@ “matching come F!ck me pumps”
It’s amazing how so many females look for the first excuse to be a sexed-up hot mama. And got the nerve to complain when dudes ogle them.
Things a Grown Ass Woman/Man should never do…
BOOTY/PAYNIS PICS… If you are over the age of 25, you have no gawt dayum biznizz taking pictures of your booty tootin azZZ holding a camera phone… or doing an extra close up of your pocket-size paynis! LAME! ( I will make an exception to see something exceptional….. if your under 8… NOT EXCEPTIONAL!)
O.G…. not Not the Cali kind of OG…. im talking about the “I’m Gonna Get You Sukka” kind of OG. I don’t need a ninja distracting the heck out of me with all that dayum jewlry. A chain.. earrings.. pinky ring.. solids.. a bracelet.. TOO DAYUM MUCH!!!
If you are a plus size woman (like myself.. 6 ft 230lbs.. size 14 TYVM..SOLID BABY!!!) know well enough to wear the proper undergarments! Support pantyhose, girdles, bras that cover the entire breast, not just the nippple with back fatt hangin’ out the side. IF YOU HAVE EXCESSIVE CELLULITE… YOU DO BETTER WEARING FULL SIZE PANTYS.. IT DOES US ALL A FAVOR FOR YOU TO REFRAIN FROM THE “THONG” TRUST ME.. WE WOULD RATHER SEE THE PANTY LINE!!!!
…………….. GOTTA THINK OF SOME MORE.. BE BACK IN A MINUTE!!
@Laneianna,
know well enough to wear the proper undergarments!
Yep…every once and a while some of the team chunk members need a reminder.
*I ain’t left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14*.~one of my all time favorite quotes.
@miss t-lee,
Its time for the TC Quarterly Meeting. Seriously, we need to get a mass memo out. I’m sick of being visually assaulted 49 times a day.
@blackberry molasses,
It’s funny, because some women are in denial about being plus sized… I know I am a big girl, and am not in denial about it..Now, am I a big fatt sloppy nasty huffy puffy itch.. NO, but I come from a family full of women. In my family, getting your first bra was a rite of passage. I have never in my life worn a training bra.. I went from t-shirts to “real bras”. It wasn’t until I was 15 or 16 that I actually owned a bra with 1 or 2 clasps in the back. I was introduced into womanhood with industrial contraptions that required a minimum of a 1 inch shoulder strap with at least 3 clasps in the back, and cone shaped torpedo cups for the breast. I wore slips from the time that I was old enough to dress myself for church on Sundays, and every pair of pantys that I owned from toddler to college were bona-fied grade a country GRANNY PANNIES with an all white cotton crotch. I got my 1st girdle at the age of 12!
Oh and for a TC pointer… if you are that concerned about an outfit that requires a thong, and you too dayum big to actually wear a thong, get a pair of control panyhose, and dont wear any pantys at all… If the outfit is short, and you dont want to give the visual of wearing stockings… Cut the legs off of them bad boys, and there you go!! YOU HAVE SUPPORT, NO PANNY LINES, AND YOU CAN STOMP IN A PAIR OF BADD AZZZ STILLETTOS, WITH OUT CREATING THAT FUGGED UP RISIDUAL RIPPLE.. THIS IS ESPECIALLY HELPFUL FOR MY POOR POOR LOOSE BOOTY SISTAHS!
@Laneianna,
I’ma need you to refrain from giving out all the TC secrets. Please and thank you…lol
I let them broads that are in denial stay in denial…I ain’t got time…that ish runs rampant down here. It would be a full time job. I just let them know shopping in Rainbow is not your friend.
@miss t-lee,
LOL! I guess I talk too much! Yesterday, I was dayum near kicked out of the ya-ya sisterhood ( I am currently on probation.. doing community service) Now I’m giving out TC secrets! LOL!… but U right… U right!!
@miss t-lee,
Rainbow… they still have those? *snicker*
@ Laneianna
It’s all good chick.
*daps*
@ blackberry molasses
Yes…unfortunately….LMAO
@Laneianna,
I’m also gonna say this to my TC sisters. Being a member of TC is nothing to be ashamed of. Being a member of TC who is reckless about her health and acts like she is allergic to fruits, veggies, whole grains and regular exercise is IMMEDIATE grounds for review of your membership and possible excommunication. Just because you big doesn’t mean you can’t be fit and healthy. Please and thank you.
Mgmt.
@blackberry molasses,
*approving head nod*
@Laneianna, This whole comment made me cackle several, several times. I wholeheartedly approve.
@miss t-lee,
“Yep…every once and a while some of the team chunk members need a reminder”
I’m not sure if I should fill out an application for a “team chunk” membership..however I am a member of ” 3 kids and the belly to prove it” club and I cant remember the last time I left the house without my girtle.
Dont be scared of the girtle..it is indeed my friend. Now if I can only get the twins in order.
@mssmtaylor,
Gone ‘head then girl.
Grown Men do NOT:
- Put Lamborghini doors on a Chevy
- Wear LL Cool J jumbo rope chains
- Do the Stanky Legg
- Have 10 different cell phones, but no plan for either of them
- Sleep in their mama’s or grandmama’s bed.
- Go on Vh1 shows to find love
- Stand around for nuffin on 79th street (chi-town)
Grown women do NOT:
- have to bend over to walk through doors due to their weave being so tall
- give their children names with 15 syllables
- shop in the junior department (you might get slack for simple items like a shirt and you’re really small, but don’t go all out with the seizure-inducing Baby Phat and House of Dereon…keep the labels to a min)
- take ho baths before going to work
@Cheekie,
“- take ho baths before going to work”
Does that still apply if her work is hoeing?
@RedBeanzNRice,
Lol. Nope. Because then it’s very appropos since the bathing was named after the job. If the job is hoeing, then you’re pretty much still working and/or preparing for your next gig.
@Cheekie,
@Cheekie,
No I co sign erthang.
Going to work on a hoes bath is a no no, but I will admit have rolled to that undergrad final fresh from a ho bath. It had to be done. And i got an A
@Cheekie,
“Put Lamborghini doors on a Chevy”
St-stuntin’ is a habit/ Get like me!
@Me fail english?,
lol. exactly.
These are all good (and funny but true).
I think someone else already said this and I agree…
Grown folks don’t drop their kids off at grandma’s (or any other friend or family member’s home) so they can go to the club every weekend or to go on a booty call hit & run or drive by.
@Shawnta`,
I dunno if that’s a function of “grownness” so much as that’s a function of “reckless ghettoness” and “wanton f*ckery”
welcome by the way
**Diva Dust Classic ™**
@blackberry molasses,
(My partial ghetto side is speaking in conjunction with my non ghetto side today.)
You know – I’m pretty sure I never got no Diva Dust from you when I first appeared. I remember some gold stars, sprinkles an’ sh*t, some “welcomes”, some unicorn and midget warnings, but no dust. THEN I saw you started up with the 2.0 version of the dust – yeah, I was mad, cause I ain’t even get version 1.0 – damn. But I never said nothin’.
Well I’m speakin’ up today, Lady! Where is my Diva Dust?! And I want that extra special 6 month anniversary dust, too. Yep.
@RedBeanzNRice,
RedBeanz… RedBeanz…
my bad ma…. you know I’s gettin senile and what not.
**Special Edition Six Months on VSB Anniversary Diva Dust ONLY for RedBeanzNRice ™**
@blackberry molasses,
@Shawnta`,
Unfortunatly dear,
Along with the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and TC, I am also a member of the SPC ( single parent clique). How else do you suggest me going about getting the BIZZ? I’m sure as heck not going to bring my little pootworm with me! LOL! I have an agreement with my mother…. we split the weekend. She will either take the Friday or Saturday, So that I can actually have the oppertunity to have a social life. What can a chikk do!
@Laneianna,
I feel ya girl. I don’t even have kids, but I aint wit all that no social life just cuz you sprouted some mini-me’s. I won’t necessarily be flappin booty buttcheeks down the pole, but “Mama got have a life too”
@Laneianna,
co sign. where do I sign up SPC? I need another
group of ppl to b*tch tosupport group.@Ashley Neicole, Mmhmm, what she said – put me on!
@Ashley Neicole & Kindred Smile,
The sweet bay-bay hayzues, submitted them apps for yall already! Now, THIS WEEKEND my mamma took Saturday, and I’m going to a hair/barber/tattoo convention/fashion show… WHAS HAPPENIN MAYNE??? *in my Mr. Chi-City voice*
Grown ass men should not:
Try to holler at someone from a car. That level of tackiness should warrant a throat punch.
Try to holler at someone using a fake name. Some guy, old enough to be my father, actually thought i’d believe his mama named him Shark.
Lie about having kids. Omission is a form of lying in court. Let people know if you took part in bringing someone into the world and s***.
that is all
@Captain Morgan,
Try to holler at someone from a car. That level of tackiness should warrant a throat punch.
I agree…carry on.
@Captain Morgan,
“Try to holler at someone from a car. That level of tackiness should warrant a throat punch.”
For real. I especially hate when they tell you to “come here” while they’re sitting in the car. Boy, sit down. Oh you’re already sitting down? Lie down, then. And keep it moving. I will not approach your car. You approached ME. So you do the work.
@Cheekie,
seriously. It’s like, oh, im sorry, you must have lost your mind and mistaken me for a prostitute at 3 in the afternoon with me in my jeans and a hoddie. Riiiight. Please, do better.
@Captain Morgan, @miss t-lee, @ Cheekie
im not above rollin down the window saying “Excuse me miss” putting the hazards on and hopping out the car to speak.
Would that get me throat punched? I mean I kind of HAVE to do it right then because I may never see you again and obviously you were stunning.
@ESQuared,
I mean I kind of HAVE to do it right then because I may never see you again and obviously you were stunning.
You have a way with words…so I may have to think about the throat punch, but you’re still a candidate. lol
@miss t-lee,
I co-sign the “way with words” comment. I fully condone the use of “stunning” in describing a lady. It’s a word not to use freely so being at the receiving end of it is nice.
@Cheekie,
I agree.
The “stunning” comment is what saved him.
@Cheekie,
pulls out note pad
* note to self use stunning in a sentence next time im mackin on a chick*
@ESQuared,
“im not above rollin down the window saying “Excuse me miss” putting the hazards on and hopping out the car to speak. ”
Oh, you good. This was done to me recently actually and I truly appreciated him coming out the car and approaching me like a man. That rarely happens so he did get the digits. Especially since he approached me while I was just walking in sweats and wearing a ponytail. lol
It’s the remaining in a car that is throat-punch worthy.
@Cheekie,
I agree and ish! If he get out of the car I don’t think I have a problem with it.
@Ms. T, agreed, if you actually make the effort to get out of the car, then you’re saved from the throat punch. And your use of stunning…yea, that helps.
@ESQuared,
no commenting for e-pannies, e-boo. That may be grounds for dismissal.
@blackberry molasses,
He’s getting our help for you, girl. It’s all for you.
@ESQuared,
No throat punch for you cuz you stepped out the car and came over to her.
Violent assaults are only necessary when dude wants road side service. ugh!
@Me fail english?, lol…..i dont have a way with words. stop it before you make me blush.
and e-Boo dont be like that. I man has to check his methods just to make sure he stays current. With the advent of Thundergoat songs and what not, if i attempt to talk to a lady i wouldnt want to get throat punched or be attacked below the belt because the “standards of holleration” have been changed and i wasnt aware and got caught slippin.
What better place to do that than VSB?
VSB, where the womens policy decisions for what gets a man hurt in these streets, happens.
@ESQuared,
sorry for being recklessly territorial. i’m just tryna protect a good thing here..
forgive me? *looks up from under long dark lashes*
@blackberry molasses,
girrrrrl stop playin…you know im weak for that “looks from up from under” face you make. you know i forgive you. that thing you did during lunch will have me not mad at you for anything for quite some time…
@ESQuared,
well… you know I’m good on a bad day, and today was a great day, since I got to see you. So… there you have it
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but grown @ss men and women never have to say “I’m grown.” Your actions speak for you, and most people will realize you’re grown with out you saying a word.
And grown folks always accept the consequences of their actions. If a grown person does dirt and it blows up in their face, they don’t get angry with anyone but themselves.
*things grown ass woman shouldnt do*
1) Get a mans name tattoed on you especially spots like the above the a$$, cooch and chest not jus the titty but right in the middle of they chest like a chain with they name on it. If you got 10 kids wit him then I guess it coo.
2) Wear clothes that dont fit. I kno its getting hot but if you aint hit the gym in the spring leave the skimpy clothes in the back of the closet. Cottage cheese belongs in the fridge with a top on it behind closed doors not in broad daylight. esp: shoes if the toes hang ova, its time for some new ones
3) Living beyond your means. I know you wish you could shop every day and be a movie star or at least look like one but you dont have long bread like that. I know the benz looks nice but they about ta take it cause you late on the lease payments dummy get a used car that you dont have to lease. Like my daddy say
“IF YOU DONT HAVE THE MONEY FOR IT YOU DONT NEED IT”
4) Living for free. I call it the “princess complex”. If you over 25 with a job get outa moma and daddies house and get ya own. I hate people that dont pay rent/bills always wanna do it big and looks down on you cause you not ballin outa control.wonderin why i cant go to vegas, cancun, la, miami ery otha weekend. Grow the fu(k up no responsibility havin a$$e$
ahhh i feel better now
@All: Thanks for the welcome.
@Laneianna, @MeFailEnglish & @Ashley Neicole: I agree that just because people have children their life is NOT over. I agree that parents need a social life as well. Let me clarify…from what I gather from your response to my comment, all of you make arrangements and the people who keep your children are okay with this. I mean people who think they are grown but aren’t grown enough to make proper arrangements for their children ahead of time rather than just getting dressed to go out, showing up at a family member’s door, dropping the child off and peacing out for the club. @Lanieanna…LOL! I agree, “pootworm” should not be with you.
@Shawnta`,
Yes, that scenario is what almost got my sister throat-punched. I know it takes a village and all, but warn a ninja
Few things I forgot to say…
A grown ass woman:
1. Doesn’t play emotional love games. She loves hard, plays hard and tells it like it is in a tactful way.
2. Doesn’t tell her bedroom business to her girlfriends. (Or anyone else, for that matter.)
3. DOES what’s right, even though she may not like it, and may have to eat humble pie every now and again.
@RedBeanzNRice,
co sign to all of it
@RedBeanzNRice, Im going to go ahead and put those on paper. Letterhead and all.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Ok….I don’t know how I feel about the second one. My two best friends, well my sisters, are very close to me and we share everything except men, toothbrushes and undergarments. We all openly talk about our relationships in detail, either to vent or to educate. If you are out here telling the world your bedroom antics, you clearly need to get your grown up. But I think it’s ok in small, personal circles.
*Looks up at a summary of all the comments*
So, apparently, grown men and women DO:
Read VSB.
@Cheekie,
YEP!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Cheekie, touche Cheeckie, touche.
Yeah number 5 is how people get called a minx
Really cool writing. Bottom line, we need to be mature and we hold the key whether our decision is right or wrong
**co-signs for everybody!** I still have a bit of growing up to do (just take my word for it; I’m too ashamed to reveal where). *hanging head in shame*
Oh, and if you’re a PASSENGER in said vehicle tryna holler, expect to get punched in the throat AND face. Eff yo’ life, sucka!
(ahem, recent flashback)
Grown azz men and women don’t make future plans for their co-parents, ESPECIALLY given the former’s track record of broken promises/p!ss-poor life planning and the latter has already made plans *that only involve them and your child(ren)*.[where's this WE jive coming from?! *I* have to move out; you're on yer own, bro. Also, please reread my "no shacking!" memo.]
My “growna55dedness” list:
Grown folks shouldn’t be in the business of other people’s pockets or other people’s bedrooms. If it’s no detriment to you, yourself, cut the gossipy crap. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
That being said…
A grown frickin’ man or woman should KNOW HOW TO DRIVE and have a license! Living in New York or anywhere else on the east coast is no excuse. Even if you’re never gonna own a car, those skills come thru in the clutch.
And a grown man/lesbian shouldn’t sag underneath the butt cheeks.
Lastly, grown folks need to cap it at two baby mamas/daddies.
Let me add that grown men/women should NOT be asking to borrow large sums of money from a woman/man you have been talking to for less than a month.