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If you look around, inappropriate behavior is everywhere. Mothersmurfers are out everywhere smurfin’ people they have no business smurfin’.
Well nowhere is this statement more appropos than the world-famous workplace romance. And just to be difficult, let’s throw the Academic Brain T(h)rust in there for good measure (might have to address this one on its own, actually).
Generally, I poo on pooh-poohing where one dines. What with today’s recession, you’d think people would do everything in their power to make their jobs as cushy and drama free as possible (to include visiting VSB.com assuming it isn’t banned at your job yet), yet some people don’t give a flying copulation and throw caution to the wind like Charles Barkley at a casino buffet.
However, who am I to judge really? I’ve never done the workplace romance but I’ve seen more than enough to know that there are some rules to this sh*t. I wrote me a manual. A step-by-step booklet for you to get, your game on track…with no more drama.
Word to Mary J. Blige.
By the way, this doesn’t apply to Hollywood where a workplace romance is almost mandatory. How else could Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey be explained? Then again, I’m convinced Mariah has some bats in her belfry so perhaps it’s a fitting romance.
People don’t say “bats in the belfry” enough.
5 Ways To Ensure Your Workplace Romance Doesn’t End Up Going Postal
1) Avoid them at all costs
Generally you shouldn’t be schlumping anybody who constantly works within 10 feet of you all day. That’s just bad mojo. The cutesy stuff like sending mango-scented paper planes and hoping nobody sees it will only last for a good week. After a while, seeing them every minute of the day will get older than John McCain. Keep the space unless you’re…invading the space.
2) If you must have constant contact, don’t be awkward
You know, after that first physical encounter, somebody’s gonna have questions. 9.12 times out of 10, the chick is going to be wondering what’s going on now. The best thing you can do is not act awkward towards her. If you do, she’ll try to stab you with a letter opener. And she can get one too. Most offices have them.
3) Shut your trap
Like most criminals, things generally go wrong once one party starts yapping. The optimal situation is for both parties to hush-the-fudge up. The quieter its kept, the more fun the two of you can have while you pretend your both samurai’s of the XiuXiang Order with a secret only for the King of China. In this case, the king is Xerox, but the game is fun, no?
4) No unnecessary flirtatiousness with the office help
Since you met them at work, they might be a little more attentive to see if you’re just a workplace pimp out there trying to give everybody “raises”. Even if you don’t want them for anything more than just a little “work-out”, the least you can do is NOT obviously dismiss them by showing interest in the chick who gives you staples. Keep your supplies to yourself, Mister!
5) Piggybacking on #4, don’t get caught taking some body from the 4th floor to lunch
Not.a.good.look. The quickest way to get stabbed, at work, is to blatantly start taking some other person out to eat during lunch. Oh my goodness, and don’t pay for the cookie. Hmm…that has a double meaning.
Fact is people, if you must make the funtime with somebody that you work in close quarters with, the least you can do is be as conspicuous as possible and not just use them for copy-room fun. We here at VSB.com promote a sense of relationship unity and support.
So I suggest quitting.
But since you won’t do that…what are some other ways to avoid workplace fun-time drama?
And I KNOW some of y’all got workplace stories and experiences. Let’s do the knowledge!
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
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{ 317 comments… read them below or add one }
INconspicuous?
i went to public high school in alabama.
sue me.
…and so did i. (go to public highschool in Alabama)
what does that say about being “bama”
some of the slowest, wackest, lack of swank, lack of game, lack of originality, provincial peoples i have ever met high-schooled outside of Alabama.
feel that.
me too…i was making a funny.
everybody knows the slow folks are really from mississippi and west virginia!
*ducking tomatoes*
“everybody knows the slow folks are really from mississippi and west virginia!”
that’s so bama. u bama.
LOL!
Hahaaaaa FUNNNNNNY.
I am from the great state of Mississippi and do not dispute this.
I spent my formative years in Georgia. (whew!)
vsb.com: bringing the remaining literate southerners together since 1913
Word to George Wallace! I hate the term “bama”. Even though I went to school in Georgia, which is better than everywhere, I still have love for my southern neighbors. Some of my favorite people are in Alabama! Anyway, most of the people I have heard use that term as an insult are usually the most pathetic lemmings in the crowd.
Am I obviously sensitive about that?
Buck – If you hate the word ‘baba’, then I guess you better not go to DC.
That’s the problem……I’m already there!
Men should really be careful. I have seen a lot of women get scorned and then file sexual harrassment suits. A lot of companies are gun shy about these suits and any hit of impropriety will result in the guy getting ousted.
I’ve never had a true “office romance”, per se. I did go on two dates once with someone in my department, but both evenings ended with the pitter patter church hug(= 6″ inches between the chest & groin while hugging). This was strange to me because the s*xual tension at work was much more obvious; and physical boundaries were crossed frequently in the office(=longer hugs, sitting on laps, random back rubs). But even as innocent as that was, it did have a touch of awkwardness to it because a) we worked in the same building and b) because we became friends and I had to hear about all of his s*xscapades with other random broads (he was the f*ck and tell type). This was a little tough, because I still had a crush on him at the time. In retrospect, I’m glad nothing ever manifested from this because he turned out to be a real man whore.
“real man whores” was one of our finalists before we chose very smart brothas
This statement is about to get me fired
My boss is so back in the building
Why doesn’t this one get old. CTFU!)
This was strange to me because the s*xual tension at work was much more obvious; and physical boundaries were crossed frequently in the office(=longer hugs, sitting on laps, random back rubs).
Where the FULL(-LL+CK) do you work?? Platinum City?
“Where the FULL(-LL+CK) do you work?? Platinum City?”
LOL
“Where the FULL(-LL+CK) do you work?? Platinum City?”
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
But no really, where did you work?
Where the FULL(-LL+CK) do you work?? Platinum City?
some names can’t be anything other than a strip club. platinum city is one.
It better be a place with a Champagne room…lol
you have me crackin’ up over here Goodie! no! it was not platinum city (lol) it was just a plain ol’ office setting…where sometimes we’d hug our coworkers. The lap business & back rubs (probably seen as less innocent) occurred because there wasn’t an extra chair and I wanted to use his computer. But nobody was on the floor or gettin’ it in the copy room. See??? innocent.
PatteeCakes…innocent schminnocent…ain’t no “innocent” lap sitting at work unless it’s tip drill Tuesdays up in Accounting!!
“…unless it’s tip drill Tuesdays up in Accounting!!”
LMAO!!!
fo sho.
seriously, theres no such thing as an innocent lap sit for grown-ups. i think that right there is second base all by itself
**Pope mobile ride by**
@ Wu…
bwhahahha
I’m about to choke on my fry….lol!
LOL we have a lake outside our office building..rumor has it several people have been caught uhhmm….learning to drive a stick. I cant confirm because they too were fired…LMAO
A year ago my husband worked as a manager for a local non-profit. Budget cuts, high mortgages and very few well paying jobs later I got him a job at my company in the same location. We have been able to keep it under wraps but we recently had to put his car in the shop so we rode back and forth to work together and shared the car for lunch. Now things are getting tricky. Now I get the girls all laughing and saying “girl, I didnt know he was married”….”Girl, that’s your husband? He is so funny..dresses so nice…etc. Which is fine unless we have had an argument and then that sh!t pisses me off to no end. Add to that the random times where I might fall up on him talking to a chick in the hallway or break room etc. I am not a jealous chick so I don’t trip but I do get that twinge so I can just imagine what would happen if I was jealous. Let’s just say that I love him and trust him but I am shopping his resume around at a furious pace…..any of yall hiring?
“I am not a jealous chick so I don’t trip but I do get that twinge so I can just imagine what would happen if I was jealous”
this seems like a bit of a contradiction
it is and it isn’t…for the most part I dont trip when we are not together. I dont imagine him fooling around, I dont worry about him messing off. I dont go through his phone or trip when he goes out. However if I am walking down the hall not thinking about anything and see him talking to an attractive female I am caught off guard and I do get a tiny twinge but I shake it off , remember I love and trust my husband and move on.
Now on another note in the past year we have had two very big office romances blow up on the job. One couple met at the job, moved in together and bought a car. Long story short they broke up and dude came up to the job on his off day while she was at work and drove off in the car. She called the police submitted a police report only to find out that he took the car, suffice to say the next day they got to arguing in the break room and both of them got fired. Then we had a night manager carrying on with one of his employees. Well his wife found out about it, Got her friends ID (to enter the building) came up to the job in her nikes, sweats and do rag and acted a plum fool!! he got fired and so did the friend who “lost” her ID and the girlfriend…..now that I think about it workplace romances might be the cause of the economic down turn…
OOOOOOOOOO!! Now THATs some drama for that ass!
Dag. Your job had no qualms about firing people huh?
yeah, I live and work in the south for a very conservative company..they dont play that foolishness
“Got her friends ID (to enter the building) came up to the job in her nikes, sweats and do rag and acted a plum fool!!”
how come nobody ever gets dressed up to act a donkey? why folks got to show u in do-rags and sweat pants? not only do you cause a ruckus looking like you have no sense, if you end up on the news you look like a crackhead…with no sense.
i want folks to cause drama dressed like they’re going to the club.
Did she have her face vaselined up as well?!
You can fight much better in a do-rag (so they can’t get a good grip on your hair) and sweatpants (so you can move comfortably and freely) than you can all cutesy. At least that is what the people tell me.
yeah when I was “in them streets” I had my share of fist fights. you want a form fitting shirt, loose pants, do rag and Vaseline on the face for the following reasons..
Loose pants -ease of movement
doo rag-with a stocking cap underneath. Prevent the hair pulling
Vaseline-most girls will attempt to scratch the face, this provides moderate protection from that
Form fitting shirt-a loose shirt or jacket can be pulled over the head, securing your arms resulting in you getting “peter rolled” or hit in the head at rapid fire speed
Man, I have seen plenty of people get petey-rolled due to the big shirts…
doo-rag WITH the stocking cap. Ok kay kay!
I haven’t had an office romance. My last 2 gigs have been in an office full of either white people (who I’m starting to distrust more and more by the day), and gay black men (I heart the gays).
So btwn mean-mugging the pinks, and being the office hag (my shoe game is TIGHT. The gays can’t help but love me back), I haven’t had the opportunity to even get an office romance (not that I’m looking for one).
yeah the gays love a hot pump……
“My shoe game is TIGHT”
Thats a shirt..
“yeah the gays love a hot pump……”
…………………
I get it…oh I’m crying over here…
“yeah the gays love a hot pump……”
(snicker)
I think ‘i love the gays’ is a t-shirt too!
Luvvie…I heart the gays too…las mariposas rock!! but beware…they love you cuz they want to BE you…lol…caught one of mine quoting me to someone (a stolen anecdote complete w/ facial expressions & hand talking) being all ME and sh*t…have you ever seen the drag queen version of yourself?? you’d think it would be flattering…but oh no!! it’s scary, scary sh*t!!
“have you ever seen the drag queen version of yourself?? you’d think it would be flattering…but oh no!! it’s scary, scary sh*t!”
**bewildered**
“have you ever seen the drag queen version of yourself?? you’d think it would be flattering…but oh no!! it’s scary, scary sh*t!”
honestly, if i walked out the door and saw that, i’d probably never leave the house again.
Lord knows it’s hard enough to get you out of the cave…we don’t need to give you another reason LOL
hey! dont talk bad about my cave. its actually coming on. i just installed some drywall this weekend, as well as another toilet
tired of using the port o potty?
iew that’s like seeing your parents do it or your dad 1st thing in the morning w/o his teeth in and hair all over the place n them long john pants all young under the robe. I think I’m going into a catatonic state.
iew that’s like seeing your parents do it or your dad 1st thing in the morning w/o his teeth in and hair all over the place n them long john pants all young under the robe. I think I’m going into a catatonic state.
WuDa…my parents are like rabbits…I used to bang on the door and yell “ya’ll been f*cking each other for like 20 years…it CAN”T be that good!!” and they both walked around the house au naturale and sh*t…damn…that flashback just made my thrapy bill go up a couple G’s…
This visual scarred my mind so I can’t even imagine what the ACTUAL visual do to you.
For real. I don’t EVEN wanna know what goes down between my Dad and step-mom.
YICK!!!!
“ya’ll been f*cking each other for like 20 years…it CAN”T be that good!!”
wait…you’d actually SAY that?
@CHAMP….yes sir…I talk to them like they are my kids sometimes…they are since working on divorce number 2 (from each other) cuz the secks was all they had…but yeah…I said it…and they had the nerve to laugh like “orny-hay” teenagers!
testing, testing.
yay! i’m back in full effect! i thought the plantation shut it down, but yesterday must have been a busy day for the vsb server. with that said, i’m gonna chill out for awhile….except i can still comment on the phone
okay your world is sending me into a primal scream tyvm I mean if my parents were to do that to us. 1 we wouldn’t stand for it Moms would prolly be lookin like she was being aboused (mind you there is a foot height difference between her n he then his nickname from work cuz there were showers is big ickde)
“beware…they love you cuz they want to BE you”
Yes, GOODEness, I agree. Someone told me that there are two types of gay men: those that HATE women, and those that want to ENVY women. I seem to be a magnet to those that want to have a coin purse.
Eh, but what can you do? Stay fabulous, thats what.
is there a black web/log award for best and most euphemisms in a post? cuz i think u just won us one. LOL.
He surely did. The whole thing reads like a “Euphemism Ad-lib”. I love linguistically talented people.
VSB: Increasing your use of ambiguous words and imagery since 2008.
Hee-hee!!!
Put your thinking caps on kids…lol
Yo he Ming dinasty slayed whoever was the previous top dog. Made me feel like I was watching a NC17 movie on the wb late night. Hilarious!)
actually after reading it. I feel like it should have an anouncer like the previews @ the movie w/ the guy w/the deep raspy voice. “Everybody’s smurfin where they shouldn’t be smurfin… only on vsb.com”
aww gee thanks guys.
*shedding a tear*
actually, i didn’t even realize it until you mentioned it. i talk like this.
& that’s why “you don’t need malt liquor cuz your okay” Panama!)
This has been a very pootie tangy psa
bats in the belfry? good Lord… you’re right about shutting your trap though. Talking can make it seem like you’re doing something you’re not EVEN doing…
“Talking can make it seem like you’re doing something you’re not EVEN doing…”
people know this, and people do this intentionally just so others might think that something is going on (even if it isn’t)
that’s just friggin silly though. I’ve seen people get divorced because one person WINKED at another. little things are what people watch first… and if you speak haphazard or deal with someone with loose gibs, you can lose your job. period.
My husband and I have gone round and round about this. People assuming that because a conversation has been had between two people then something is going on.
And men seem to be MUCH worse about throwing dirt than women when it comes to this. Some guys are always trying to make it seem like they are sleeping with someone else’s woman.
Crazy, I tell you. I notice this a lot with the over 40 set in the LA area.
Aw, man…this brings back memories. I had a work place romance during my first job after undergrad with a superior in upper management who was 10 years my senior. I didn’t plan it at all, I mean I thought she was tight, but I wasn’t tryin’ to get at her. We ended up running into each other at a lounge a couple of weeks after I had started; we spoke to one another and just kinda got to talking. She had gotten a divorce a year or so ago at the time and at first we just talked about work related topics, but I guess with alcohol, chemistry and a sexy atmosphere she opened up and I just listened.
Over the course of a couple of months of small talk at the office and in passing…low and behold we run into each other again outside of work. This time at a house set where we found out we had mutual friends (my mentor’s girlfriend and her were sorority sisters) and my mentor’s girlfriend pulled me aside in a surprised, but subtle way and told me that I was the guy she had been talking about to her and that I needed to not get involved with someone at the office…especially someone in upper management. I assured her I didn’t plan on anything going down…but that soon changed. To make a long story short…we kept our relationship quiet, but we agreed to cut it off after some time due to some awkward situations, the age difference and just wrong timing…I ended up leaving to go to grad school in another state. Ironically, to this day I still use her as a professional reference…she’s happily married (I think), but we do talk through email once in a while. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that again, because I didn’t like all the awkward feelings, hiding and lying that we had to keep up and to be honest…I got caught up…I guess I was just young, dumb and lustfully intoxicated.
“young, dumb and lustfully intoxicated.”
in other words, “the perfect way for a woman to be”.
Um, Champ…I think you should probably head over to the corner for that statement.
the cleaning crew will be there for the rest of the week. goodeness made a big mess
@Champ…my bad about the mess…I told you scotch gaurd er’thang in the corner…TEESH ain’t the only one you know…lol
If the corner is outta commission for the rest of the week, then where will we send GOODEness?? I could see if there’s an alternate corner willing to take her b/c u kno she needs supervision.
@Champ- from now on you shall be known as
“The Dirty Diplomat”…what? you and Genius Khan passin’ notes now? And while you ponder over your new title, go on and take your a$$ to the corner! hop to it!
“@Champ- from now on you shall be known as
“The Dirty Diplomat”…what? you and Genius Khan passin’ notes now? And while you ponder over your new title, go on and take your a$$ to the corner! hop to it!”
**reminding ms. p that she doesnt have corner banishing priviledges**
*reminding the Dirty Diplomat that he can’t spell*
You mean privileges? And uh yes I do, because I say so. Liz, you grab his arms and I’ll get his legs.
“*reminding the Dirty Diplomat that he can’t spell*
You mean privileges? And uh yes I do, because I say so. Liz, you grab his arms and I’ll get his legs.”
you and liz would need a few more people to get the job done.
also, its always tough for me to spell when i’m sober
AkShone, this is a really good story. I enjoyed this bruh.
Um..i think i must purge..a lil bit
The closest ive gotten was when I had a workplace “friendship w/benefits” that started and was over in a matter of weeks..We both knew it was the right thing to do..to break it off..before some shii got started that we couldnt control…
So everything worked out for the best. That was my first and last time playin with fire at work..lol
The emotional aspect in that kind of relationship is more intense than just having a regular relationship. All that sneaking around and wondering if anyone knows..and trying to cover up ur lies is Exhausting!!!
So dont do it! ”
Never do dirt where u make ur bread or lay your head!!”
(now thats a T-shirt slogan!)
“Um..i think i must purge..a lil bit”
i’m glad you decided to purge
Work place romances are not a good look. Period. They can be tempting at times, but one should avoid this at all costs.
Why?
*The awkardness isn’t worth it.
*If things go bad, you STILL gotta see that person on a daily basis…adding fuel to the fire.
*Others will stay in your business and that’s never a good look.
*And lastly, it’s just not professional.
*The awkardness isn’t worth it.
*If things go bad, you STILL gotta see that person on a daily basis…adding fuel to the fire.
I concur.
“If things go bad, you STILL gotta see that person on a daily basis…adding fuel to the fire.”
this is the main point right here. unless you’re convinced that theyre your “one”, its really not worth it.
Monk…keeping your bats in your belfry…was this a lesson learned the hardway??
Yes mamm. Will never happen again though.
Jack asks:
what are some other ways to avoid workplace fun-time drama?
#1. lay no claims and manage ur time (including sex) with your workplace partner to a bare minimum such that it is clear that there is nothing else between u but sex. most people don’t have the willpower, intent or desire to see this thru.
the time you spend communicating verbaly and NONVERBALLY with ur workplace partner is directly commensurate with the success or drama u have.
more time equals more propensity for drama. if you wanna date, love and all that jazz then ur best bet is not to work at the same place/dept etc. …and even with that your best case scenario for success is in the 50th percetile. that’s an F mufukaz. do the math.
successful employment of mandate #1 usually implies that you have or find a sexual/romantic life outside of the workplace.
#2. stealth. …and if suspected don’t confirm in word or deed. this requires apathy towards one another at work under the potential gaze of eyeballs, cameras and the like. if ur perimeter is breeched then raise the level of security to threatcon delta.
when the attention is not enuf for 1 or both partners then the “situationship” will dissolve naturally if you maintain rule #1. so the fu*k be it.
ALERT: #2 is no good if #1 is not being employed properly.
#3. rob the bank 1 time. get that loot like you’ll never get any more cause you wont. …but how many people can resist the temptation of cum thievery again especially if the getting was good. me. …and a coupla women i know. oh ye of little willpower.
i’ll be back with parables, proverbs and psalms. get ur papyrus and ink for it is written on scrolls…
tales of the emperor khan.
ok i see vsb has opened up the “Office of Standards and Practices” (censors)
i understand but i don’t necessarily like it.
the Draconian Thought Police.
ICCP Artilcle 19. freedom of expression
before you know it someone will be filing briefs with the Supreme Court citing 1st and 5th amendment violations. …”indecent speech” as arbitrary, inconsistent, and irreconcilable with core First Amendment values.
now i gotta get consultation from the WGA. LOL!
Creative Arts Media and Free Sppech
heh, heh, heh (inhales) whoooooooooooooooooooooooo!
whats funny about this is that i didn’t even know that was the case until my girlfriend called me yesterday on some, “my comment got censored. fix it now. or die. YES. WE. CAN!”
Yeah, I got some arbitrary about that also. Whassup wit’ dat??
…and errrr ahhhhh, SOME of the quotes that are being voted on don’t really need the word I in front to give ownership/agreeance to the statement. …or do they?
i mean if you’re wearing a shirt that says Dick, do u really need to specify who Richard is. (if you’re wearing the tee it’s NOT an ambiguous pronoun) the person wearing the shirt is “Dick.”
i think learning is siddity.
learning is siddity.
i understand many of the quotes were taken from the context of genuine conversation. so some of the quotes needed to be edited to be more quoteable but in many cases less is more for potable quotables.
I am who have spoken.
“I” can seperate opinion from fact, no?
I think learning is siddity.
Learning is siddity.
Or does it go without saying that one’s statement is opinion?
Me personally, I think learning is siddity.
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
She reigns: “…just threw up a little in my mouth.”
LOL!
“She Reigns” asks:
“Or does it go without saying that one’s statement is opinion? ”
A: not necessarily but many times yes. however if you wear the tee shirt it’s a safe assumption that you at least are in agreeance with what’s written on the tee if not specifically own the personification of the quote.
don’t get it confrused.
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooooooo!
Ye office romance is fun (you know…the all-telling-yet-coy stares from across the room…inuendo-laden e-mails…sharing of stationery…never-ending conversations…lunch-dates…the odd quick handjob underneath the work desk before everyone knows what’s happening)
Ye they are fun times…till they end in a stint of genital warts and a sexual harrasment case (for being unreasonable and not wanting to leave your wife of ten years)
So i say stick to #1
Peace!!
“Ye they are fun times…till they end in a stint of genital warts and a sexual harrasment case (for being unreasonable and not wanting to leave your wife of ten years)”
Not the genital warts…DAMN! Oh well, so much for me trying to talk to my office cutie.
sisanda…I was reading…giggling…reading…blushing…reading…genital warts? wow
um. damn?!
ROTFLMAO!!
OH NOOO!! nothing like a gift that keeps on giving…
Unlike love, herpes is forever.
and so is HPV…all it takes is a nekid grind with the wrong joe -you ain’t even gotta stick nuthin’ in- and booya! g*nital w@rts…the human papillomavirus is real y’all and FOREVER!
Oooooh Oooooh (raising my hand) I have a story.
So when I used to work at this bank a few years ago. This party chick came in one day looking extra bloated after lunch and rubbing her stomach (she was rather little) . I whispered to one of the guys like “Is Mindy* preggo?” He looked and agreed with me. Later on that afternoon I jokingly asked her, “So when’s the baby due?” She was shocked like “How do you guys know?” We laughed or whatnot. The heffa would never tell us who the baby daddy was, but she kept hinting that he was black (she was white).
Well as she got bigger and bigger, and more hormonal, she would sometimes come back from lunch with her boss in tears. After the baby was born, we noticed that yes indeed the baby had African blood pumping through his vein. She quit and went to another job soon after she came back from maternity leave. One day she came in the branch and laid the story all out for us. The baby daddy was her boss, DJ, the district manager. When he found out she was preggo, he wrote her a note and told her she had 2 options- either have an abortion or find another job and forget she knew him. She chose option 3, neither. And he made sure to make her life miserable. When they would go out to lunch with other co-workers he would make jokes about the weight she was putting on (he was very jokey jokey, and at times inappropiate), hence the tears after lunch.
Come to find out, he also had a new chick that worked at the bank, but lived in a different city. This new chick, quit the bank and moved to be with him. Mindy was PISSED one day, when he alledgely left the baby on the porch in the rain when it was time for her to come pick the baby up. He didn’t want her to come in and see the new chick leaving there. So Mindy called up all the head hunchos and told them the deelio (do people still stay that). She also called his mom and told her she had a new grandson (the family didn’t know about the baby). Long story short, DJ is still at the bank and Mindy is on like her 3rd or 3th job after the bank.
Needless to say, the moral of the story is don’t f*ck where you do your deposits. And if you do, make sure you do a withdrawal at the right time!
*Note- Names have NOT been changed to protect the parties
this entire story should be a psa.
There should be a rainbow and shooting star after this PSA with the words “The More You Know” and a cheesing white C-list celebrity
This story was crazy!
I think the moral is ‘Don’t get knocked up by random niccas’, but then again I think that’s the moral of most stories LOL
he should be shot. word.
**im sure people still say that.**
GREAT story!!
D@mn, please excuse any and all typos. It’s early yall.
This goes for my post as well.
I say just don’t do it.
I dated a guy I worked with for about 6 months. When we were on, it was on. When we were off, it was long painful day. Nothing like trying to avoid throat punching someone at work, because you don’t wanna lose your job.
Then we were stopped dating it was just mad awkward. Luckily, he eneded up getting fired about 3 months later.
Word to the wise, don’t do it.
(sidenote:) I will forever remember him for our late night “conference” in our conference room.
If ya get my drift. He will always have a special spot in my heart. *sigh*)
*I like the Big Daddy Kane shout out on the title.
“Luckily, he eneded up getting fired about 3 months later.”
ice cold!!
*I like the Big Daddy Kane shout out on the title.”
word. i’m gully with the old-school-hip-hop references.
I think if I look hard enough in my crates, I still have that tape. ::shaking my head::
that was the first cassette I bought
Word?
Mine was New Edition “Heart Break”.
I still gots it.
I inherited BDK from my brother when he went off to the Army…along with the rest of his cassettes…lol
The title reminded me of Kool Moe Dee also.
Yep…I Go To Work.
Still love that James Brown sample.
I think it goes both ways. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve met their future husbands/wives at work. It’s a huge gamble but sometimes you can come up a winner.
Erika, i guess u can correlate marriage with relationship success which your comment infers. (especially for many whom “formal” marriage is the “ideal” & “goal”) however i do remind all of those who do, that marriage (in and of itself) does not a desireable, happy, healthy, functioning and fullfilling relationship make. i also remind people that 50% of marriages end in divorce. …and i guess one could make the case that divorce is not necessarily tantamount with unsuccessful relationship but i can’t begin to fathom how many “marriages” are still on the books but are seperated, unhappy and for all intents and purposes dysfunctional etc. etc.
now let’s ponder how many marriages that start in the workplace are “successful” by any stretch of the definition.
here lies a khanician parable which is written in jade:
one woman married Lee and was unhappy
one woman didn’t marry Lee and was unhappy
be ye happy, healthy, wealthy, wise…
I wasn’t inferring that all marriages are perfect. I wasn’t really discussing marriage, period. I was just saying not all office affairs end in tragedy. I suppose you would consider someone marrying a coworker they fell in love with a tragedy. I’ll just have to respectfully disagree. There are most certainly worst things that could happen as is evident by some of the comments on this blog.
Erika says:
“I was just saying not all office affairs end in tragedy.”
well getting married doesn’t mean it didn’t end in tragedy. that’s my point. some of the biggest debacles surround marriage or didn’t u know. (and if u consider divorce tragedy, then even moreso because there is usually more at stake than the loss of a job)
i’m not trying to put a black eye on marriage (no more than there already may be) but just observing that getting married doesn’t necessarily mean that an office romance is successful thus worth the risk. …as evidenced by V Renees’story above.
i spose it’s subjective what we deem a worse scenario than the other
bad work space affair that leads to marriage > bad workspace romance that does not lead to marriage.
but do consider how marriage doesn’t mean successful relationship and a marriage [started with co-worker] is not necessarily better than work space affairs that don’t lead to marriage.
situationships turned bad are bad no matter where they start.
hear me now believe me later.
GK, you speak all of the truth homeboy.
I agree. As a general rule (and its in most company handbooks) it is not advisesd that you poo where you eat.
however…
I would think that if its ***right*** that the odds would be better by sheer fact you ***should*** be practicing some type of discretion and restraint. (however sometimes that can be rather seductive in and of itself..cause you can’t just go over to the next cube and start fondling him/her).
And those office who%res who aren’t discrete deserve the gossip and the ridicule (ok that wasn’t nice…….ok they deserve discomfort for the sheer fact that they thought their office was their se#x#ual playground.)
I think it goes both ways. I’ve known quite a few people who’ve met their future husbands/wives at work. It’s a huge gamble but sometimes you can come up a winner.
My boy MJ…meets all his wives (and concubines) at work…he’s in management at a collection agency and they have a high turnaround…so when they are rode wet and hung to dry they are probably out of style anyway…he is on marriage number 2 and his wife damn near stalks him at work because she met him and work and he was married (and wrapped up in mad concubine-age)at the time…thirsty h0es make me sick!!
“he is on marriage number 2 and his wife damn near stalks him at work because she met him and work and he was married ”
…how you get em is how you keep em.
There’s SOOO many other places to meet people..I mean you can even pay for @zz, so why take it there???
…how you get em is how you keep em.
REAL TALK.
She’s gonna forever be insecure, cause they way she got him was sho nuff dirty.
lol…true. but at work they basically come to you.
you just look around at some chick who’s trapped there for 8 hours a day and wear her down day by day.
at the club…you got like 25 seconds max.
jobs over clubs.
“you just look around at some chick who’s trapped there for 8 hours a day and wear her down day by day.”
Yeah one of my other flings happened this way. He hung in there like a year, and one day I was just like…alright, let’s go.
“Yeah one of my other flings happened this way. He hung in there like a year, and one day I was just like…alright, let’s go.”
more proof that the two p’s (proximity and persistance) are the single biggest factors in regards to casual sex.
Yeah…the 2 p’s do work.
Trust and believe.
“you just look around at some chick who’s trapped there for 8 hours a day and wear her down day by day.”
Yall need to start working on some tv pilots…
“…how you get em is how you keep em.”
That is real talk. Deeper than superhead’s throat b4 gag reflex kicks in
Luvvie, you are KILLING me today!!
My personal theory is that its only OK if their in another building (can be the same company). Just hope she doesn’t put in for a transfer or hops on your project.
“My personal theory is that its only OK if their in another building (can be the same company). Just hope she doesn’t put in for a transfer or hops on your project.”
see, i don’t think this even counts as an office romance. i think you’d hafta share space for it to qualify
Yeah … but there are going to be “all hands” meetings or big get togethers where you will be in the presence of your “booty buddy”. What about those awkward moments?
true…and don’t have a DATE up in there…duh-rama!
I agree SBM. If you work for a big enough company either with multiple buildings, or people sometimes working on client site and sometimes working out of the office, office romances are great. Hell, you spend so much time at work, that’s how you meet people. It makes for an interesting/sometimes awkward Christmas party/Company Picnic though…
sidenote: i’ve found that former co-workers make for the best friends with benefits.
Oh yeah? lol
Yep, because you already have a decent rapport with that person so you get to skip any steps of akwardness and go straight to da bizness, lol….
key word…FORMER co-workers…
True, I liked this scenario a whole lot more.
“sidenote: i’ve found that former co-workers make for the best friends with benefits.”
…………………………………….
Co-Sign to this!! lol.
My only “office” romance was when I was 16 years old working at the movie theatre and myself and my teenage love affair used to have sex at work in the theatres, dang I was a slutty teenager, but that’s another conversation altogether…. but no one ever knew about it because we learned early that ‘loose lips sink ships’ and that mantra is essential to the workplace romance…
girl you too?? must be someting about the movies…the dark theaters…the smell of popcorn adn those plastic concession stand aprons, LOL! You weren’t slutty, milk duds and sour patch kids are afro-dee-zee-acks…it’s not your fault…ho wdo you think I learned about the 3ft of space between the screen and the wall??? (sigh) good times..
I love sour patch kids…
Yep!!! They are the junk!!!
Movie sex is the best! Miniskirt sans undies, top row…mmm mmm good.
“Movie sex is the best! Miniskirt sans undies, top row…mmm mmm good.”
*wistfully nodding my head*
yes…moments like those let me know my husband was the one……..
put your finger in the air if you the one!
yezzir! I do know about that space AND all about supply closets (I know they wondered why it took 15 minutes to get the mop & bucket)
what are some other ways to avoid workplace fun-time drama?
my plantation is of an accounting-ish nature…(read: frumpy, old unnattractive women and men that want to be frumpy, old unnattractive women) so I haven’t even had the opportunity to have a “staff meeting” on the conference room floor! So I don’t have any stories or experience or tips…As a matter of fact…where do MEN work? I’m looking for a change of pace…
Other than that one time when I was 15 getting slobbed down in the bathroom at Subway…EAT FRESH!
LOL..not EAT FRESH!!
“Other than that one time when I was 15 getting slobbed down in the bathroom at Subway…EAT FRESH!”
Well now that Subway’s ruined for me…lol…I guess I must only patronize Quizno’s…who had the rat as their ACTUAL mascot for a while.
I remember those commercials…which were quickly pulled. Way to go marketing/advertising department. lol
yeah, those commercials were atrocious.
Are you serious!? No your ForReal. lol
I thaught those rat mutants were hilarious but then again I’m a silly guy.
LOL you’re a mess Wu. I couldn’t get down with the rat-mutant image tryin to sell me food…when i saw that little thing the last thing i wanted to do was eat! Not a big fan of ambiguous creatures.
Panama-sterbator…I ddn’t think that the thought of the joy that I’ve received on several occasions in bathroom and walk-in fridge at Subway would give your footlong a whole knew meaning…lol…but you could always go to Katz’s or something…DMV got mad sammich spots son!
list em for me I need to know these things
I know Guiguintos got the nice meatball subs
@ GOODEN~ “Panama-sterbator” Teehee!!!!
okay that was gross, is anyone else disgusted by that commercial where the chick drinks from the man’s mouth like its a water fountain….UHHHHHH
I’ve never had an office romance. When I was the “fresh meat” up in my office I went out on a few lunch dates, but nothing ever escalated into a romance.
On occasion, I do sense some sexual tension between one of my office buddies, but who knows it could be just gas. Any who I’ve never approached her like that, because she’s like my little sister. I figure if I get rejected, things will become awkward. If I reach success things will become awkward. Why am I such a wussy?
Basically I’m asking how do start off an office fling with someone you’ve know for years? For some reason I find it was easier to start off an office fling when I didn’t know anybody. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I get a little tipsy at this years X-mas party before I make a move. This way if I get rejected I can blame it on the liquor.
Okay I’m done ranting!
***editors note***
although we all love your screenname, i’d be remiss if i didn’t alert you to our new policy regarding comments, effective 8/11/08:
it was brought to our attention last week that access to our site has been blocked at a couple work sites, due to “adult content”. this is crucial, because the bulk our our readership comes from people at work during work hours, and we can’t afford to lose that. although we don’t exactly plan on making things g-rated around here, we would like for everyone (ourselves included) to try to tone it down a little bit. remember everyone, asterisks and euphemisms are our friends.
***end of editors note***
On occasion, I do sense some sexual tension between one of my office buddies, but who knows it could be just gas.
this made me sniggle like a chess cat… (anybody else’s granny ever say that?)
my Granny still says it.
Basically I’m asking how do start off an office fling with someone you’ve know for years?
2 words my friend: Happy Hour.
You’re welcome.
“Happy Hour.”
seriously, happy hour is basically the professional persons excuse to act like they were still in college
I agree. It’s everyone’s excuse to act a plum fool.
You ain’t never lied. I heart happy hour.
“it could just be gas…” LMAO… I’m crying!!!
couchie poo…we gotta find you a new name.
He/she could just use eff…instead of the whole word.
same effect…I say…eff yo couch.
“eff yo couch” I like it…but it needs MORE since the actual “f” word is gone…does co%o%chie show up in the office server filters???
***coffee break**
All this time I thaught we were playing a blog game. whodathunk.
I like couchie poo but that probably won’t stick. lol
i don’t know…my guess is that couchie poo sticks way more than you’d want it to.
oh wait…you’re talking about a name, aren’t you?
“i don’t know…my guess is that couchie poo sticks way more than you’d want it to.
oh wait…you’re talking about a name, aren’t you?”
*chuckling*
Champ, P knew what they were talking about when they called that man couchie poo.
play with the khan if u want to. i promise thee verbal massacres, wordplay, nothing on safety, slaughter.
i begged P to cut sheet shawt but nex thing i knew they were calling him Panny, Panamasterbating, P P la Pookie and what have you’s.
this is not a threat and i’m only commenting to impress upon couchnem how some of these women here will use ur name for entertainment like a house slave shuffling and doing a jig. hey maybe couchie poo will like it but if not betta lettemknow.
i’ll give that James Brown song “Try Me” a whole new meaning. feel me now believe me later.
heh, heh, heh, (inhales) whoooooooooo!
Office romances haven’t worked for me. I dated one of my co-workers once and it didn’t work out because I lost interest quickly. Anyways, it did work out for one of my close friends. This guy at her job was pursuing her for months and she wouldn’t date him because she didn’t want to date anyone at work. Anyways, he was very persistent and she finally agreed to go on a date with him. He was so excited and they agreed to meet at this one spot. He made three different reservations just in case the spot he picked wasn’t right. They ended up having a great first date and dated for a couple of years and just got married in May. I know that this is probably the exception, but they it did work out (oh and they ended up both leaving their job and finding another job at different companies:)
“He made three different reservations just in case the spot he picked wasn’t right.”
oh damn, lol. he was definitely smitten and sh*t
He really was! They met at their jobs in NYC. After they got engaged, he moved across country with her because she wanted to live closer to her family.
“After they got engaged, he moved across country with her because she wanted to live closer to her family.”
did he leave his nuts behind back east, or does the wife just carry them around in a jar in her purse?
*chokin on pineapples and bacardi*
What flavor bacardi?
D are you on vacation or something?
*LAUGHING SO HARD I CAN’T BREATHE!!!!*
LMAO!!! I just laughed so hard I almost dropped my baby niece.
Dang it, Champ!!
“He made three different reservations just in case the spot he picked wasn’t right.”
I love this!
I never see him (he’s in QA). I never venture over to his area, and if I see him around mine, I playfully suggest that he “stay outta my hood”. Is it romance if we’re just sexing on the weekends? I actually asked you guys this question awhile back…
“Is it romance if we’re just sexing on the weekends”
ummm….yeah.
guess I’m in denial.
which isn’t just a river in Egypt!!
*hanging head in shame at cornball moment*
That aint necessarily romance that they knocking boots on wknds. They could just be cyclical friends w/ benefits.
yeah, hi… when i was interning 2 years ago @ criminal court i had a stalker, and what’s even worse is that he was someone i semi -reported to. he would text me inappropriate things and asked me out on several dates in front of the other interns. it was mortifying. He was 34 and a was 20 at the time. no bueno. maybe this should have gone under the harassment post and not workplace romances. oh well.
“gone under the harassment post and not workplace romances. oh well.”
lol…yeah. when we have our “harassment/stalker entry, just cut and paste this comment
he sounds like my good friend ceksual harris lol
was his name Kwame Kilpatrick?
Without workplace romances there would be no Jim and Pam on The Office. *tearing up at the thought*
I love the Office.
English and American versions.
The Office is the sh*t. All of a sudden I can’t wait till the fall.
Me 2
yeah. since the wire and the sopranos are off the air, its the best show on television
I own every season of The Wire. It will always be on in my house. Watching season 2 now.
Man I even loved the theme song. Down in the hole
the season finale kinda made me gag
The Office is hilarious
Maybe an office fling would be motivation for me to come to work
I think I’ll make that a shirt and wear it to my next company picnic
Knowing that you may see someone you ‘like’ does make going to work a lot easier. It makes you dress better too.
“Maybe an office fling would be motivation for me to come to work”
lol…good point
Never done the office romance thing myself, but I have seen it done. The one constant I usually see is that one of the two parties are usually married. And one of the two parties are usually in charge of the other party’s check. Those two things do not mix.
“And one of the two parties are usually in charge of the other party’s check. Those two things do not mix.”
right. checks and sex dont mix
You are right Champ, checks and sex don’t mix.
Cash and sex, however, do.
LOL!!
I only have this to say: Stalker co-worker.
Have you ever been scared to go to your job because you didn’t know when that fother mucker would show up and surprise you with tears and snot bubbles because you rejected him? Or having to change your phone number(s) and requesting the company not publish your home/cell number for an alternate contact if they couldn’t reach you by the company phone? I’m the only chocolate child here and Lord knows it’s hard to maintain one’s cool with that hack garnering sympathy from co-workers because he felt jilted.
“Have you ever been scared to go to your job because you didn’t know when that fother mucker would show up and surprise you with tears and snot bubbles because you rejected him? Or having to change your phone number(s) and requesting the company not publish your home/cell number for an alternate contact if they couldn’t reach you by the company phone? ”
Oh wow. This sounds scary than a mf.
thats why i stopped tellin mofos where i live and work…
Tears and snot bubbles….did he by any chance chase your car down the street? I think you and Goodeness need to compare notes…
For sure, don’t let the smooth taste fool you, some men are crazy (I’d like to believe they are all effing nuts). We need to come up with an some pre-employment screening/mental health evaluation…
“….did he by any chance chase your car down the street? ”
Like Re-run on “What’s Happenin”?
LOL…Goodeness told a story hear a few (weeks? months?) back about a crazy dude chasing her car down the street. He was crying and carrying on and reminded me of the dude in Em’s story.
f*ck yo couch…first of all, thanks to you, I have re-incorporated this phrase into my daily lexicon…secondly…that’s EXACTLY what the “truck-runner” looked like…just make him a little shorter, add tattoos, a doo rag, and a felony and VOILA!
BTW since I told that story, I now see “he that runs after trucks” almost everyday at teh downtown bus/train thingy…I must have Beetlejuice’d his @ss out of hiding!
just make a wish… ill give you anything you want. i think i love you girl, lmao u r hilarious.
lol thanks shay-baby…I will have my people call your people… ha!
2 Stories
1) When i was consulting.
CEO/Founder of the company had a relationship with the business manager (corn fed chick), back in the day.
And then, on the low, The VP of the company started seeing the BM.
We were ->||<- this close to getting that good Venture Capital, woulda set your boy up for life, Ferrari’s and Brazilian Swimsuit models.
The VP was the all American type that jibed real good with the would be benefactors. The idea was cool, but not compelling enough for that Google $. You needed to schmaltze these cats.
But the CEO finds out about the BM/VP relationship and fires VP. BM Leaves. All of our paychecks start to bounce
Thanks to them, have to settle for used German Cars and AKA’s who’ve seen better days…sigh..
Oh and of course the BM/VP relationship didn’t work out.
2) Your boy is fresh off the break up with “The One”.
You’re supposed to do your #’s when you break up with a chick. I was in a new city, working for a big Fed Agency.
Well if you’ve worked for the government, you know how messed up it is, and the work is usually 2nd place to the on-site drama.
- married chick #1 – check
- married chick #2 – check
- 2 chicks who shared a desk (day shift and night shift), – check and check.
Anyway, there was this kinda cute chick that all the dudes were jocking. She was work place pretty. I.E., had you been @ the club/on the street/in your right mind, you wouldn’t even think about messing with Ol Girl. But because you’re trapped in a cubicle for 10 hours a day, you notice every chick with pretty feet, low cut blouses, or laughs extra loud (<- chicks who can’t control their “inside” voices are straight freaks)
As the Champ would say, I played her to the left.
And of course, despite what women (here and otherwise) will tell you, SHE ATE IT UP.
“on some, why ain’t he jocking me”
“lemme strut harder”
“lemme visit with friends close to where he works”
“lemme show up to an after work function”
BA in Business, MBA, business owner, relatively attractive – they all for the same stuff their community college/section 8 cousins fall for. Well, of course, I let her sell herself on me. (the true essence of persuasion is not what you tell the prospect, but what she tells herself about you…wait, sold and not told)
I thought I was safe, cause we worked in different sections, different buildings, and at different times.
When a (wo)man’s in love (c) Yami Bolo…They seem to ruin the whole seperate but equal world you got set up.
Little Notes on the desk – violation
Stopping by the Cube – Violation
Introducing her co-workers to me – VIOLATION!
Dudes jocking me, since i’ve done the impossible – VIOLATION!
Sending e-mails on the company e-mail – Can I holla @ EEOC?
Broke up during a shift change, So you know the fall out was terrible. But at least a cat was insulated from all her drama.
But to make matters worse, Agency decided to “merge functions” “move people around” “create synergies”
^^hating ass bureaucrats
Now I was seeing that broad everyday….
Her friends asking why?
“y’all seemed so happy”
- Interrupting me politricking with some phat ass admin’s.
So in terms of the “no date/f wit list” – Co-Workers are now actually ahead of single moms.
WIA says:
“(the true essence of persuasion is not what you tell the prospect, but what she tells herself about you…wait, sold and not told)”
this is why u will notice that the khan is absent on days when the post concerns sharing “game” or “trade secrets” we (freakmasters) just don’t do it.
WIA subscribes to:
“As the Champ would say, I played her to the left.
And of course, despite what women (here and otherwise) will tell you, SHE ATE IT UP.”
i agree this works well. don’t give a woman what everybody else is showering her with and she becomes intrigued by ur percieved confidence and individuality and or apathy.
this can be followed by or employed seperate by:
2 steps forward 1 step back. women thrive on anticipation.
with women, employ “the art of anticipation” and you will command waterfalls…
pimp-a-saurus-rex the last of a dying species.
that’s about all i can say with out specific techniques, scripts etc.
Pimp Pimp Hooray!
Look @ the game recognizing game over here. Yall some wild boys.
Workplace pretty. Thats actually higher than club pretty though dude.
Workplace pretty doesn’t use makeup, and doesn’t have the built in advantage poom poom shorts, and backless dresses. (or alcohol, loud music, and dark lights). I think you’re underrating workplace pretty.
But workplace pretty is limited to the people @ work.
I go to work everyday, aside from the new hires, there’s not much turnover.
Clubs on the other hand….
Thanks to them, have to settle for used German Cars and AKA’s who’ve seen better days…sigh..
that made me crack the kcuf up.
lol…me too.
“AKA’s who’ve seen better days…” has me CTFU!!
Thanks to them, have to settle for used German Cars and AKA’s who’ve seen better days…sigh..
You made me CTFU on this one…
Funny story…i’m also cracking up at German cars and AKAs.
Playing women to the left only works on (some) women though if the guy has something going for him in the first place (attractive, smart, funny). Otherwise it’s like ‘at least i ain’t gotta worry about that ugly/dumb/boring dude sweatin me’ LOL
Right, keep thinking that.
WIA don’t forget to **Jedi mind trick hand wave**
C’mon WIA, you know that’s true! Why would anyone care if some undesirable dude/chick is ignoring them? It’s worked for you which is cool, but some dudes give themselves too much credit. Don’t give those niccas false hope LOL
what is a dream deferred?
“Thanks to them, have to settle for used German Cars and AKA’s who’ve seen better days…sigh..”
**laughs maniacally**
WIA…you are a damn fool…You had me shedding tears of hysteria from…
Thanks to them, have to settle for used German Cars and AKA’s who’ve seen better days…sigh..
stepped on my toes at…
(<- chicks who can’t control their “inside” voices are straight freaks)
and had me shouting AMEN with my tambourine in had at…
Little Notes on the desk – violation
Stopping by the Cube – Violation
Introducing her co-workers to me – VIOLATION!
Dudes jocking me, since i’ve done the impossible – VIOLATION!
Sending e-mails on the company e-mail – Can I holla @ EEOC?
I swettagawt…you is a funny muh-fugguh…you can’t make this ish up! COMEDY…TRAGEDY…COMEDY (again)…
“chicks who can’t control their “inside” voices are straight freaks”
**hangs head in shame.**
Teeheee
Don’t sleep on the quiet chick…she will pull out the cuffs and have you screaming “Mommy”.
Or so I’ve heard.
I have never had an office romance. I romanced someone I worked with after I stopped working with him, but that is as close as it has come.
The only man that works in my office now is my boss’ 67 year old dad, and well – he can’t get the goodies.
The homeowners tho? WOOOWEEEEE. I have a list of all the ones I’d back it up on if I was a hooch like that. Sometimes I wish I was a hooch like that. Damn morals!
The best way to avoid workplace smashing drama is to JUST SAY NO.
The situation could end with him trying to propose to you in the job parking lot after only 2 months. (I ran to my car.)
Seriously, it could also end with you being totally over him and him getting drunk and slow dancing with the tree at the annual Christmas party yelling your name. Your entire government name. Ah, yes…Christmas 2001. Actually, it is funny now but um, it wasn’t funny then.
If it can happen to me, it can happen to you. This man is still loose in Atlanta. Just say no people.
Just
say
no!
Stop it! I’m dying at this Queen. Not slow dancing with the Christmas tree and yelling your name..i think i’m done for the day.
‘getting drunk and slow dancing with the tree at the annual Christmas party yelling your name’
Speaking of drunk Christmas parties, at my company’s party last year a girl got drunk and told the guy she was crushing on “I love you… blah blah blah”, he says, “I bet you say that to all the guys in the warehouse”, she responds “Yeah, but this time I really mean it!”…. great moment
Seriously, it could also end with you being totally over him and him getting drunk and slow dancing with the tree at the annual Christmas party yelling your name. Your entire government name. Ah, yes…Christmas 2001.
as if West Indian Archie hadn’t just done me in… I think you just gave me asthma…I…..can….not….breathe…..a fool!
I kept trying to act like he wasn’t talking about me and ignoring him. lmao Good times. I hope he doesn’t read this blog.
Well thanks n shyt Nancy Regan lol
this gives a new meaning to “slow dancing in a burning room”
ok. this was much funnier in my head. forget that i even typed that first sentence
“slow dancing in a burning room”
That song is the ish!!!
“slow dancing in a burning room”
John Mayer is my muhfuggin White Boy!
My comany is small (<200 employees) and I wouldn’t even want to go through the gossip, I wouldn’t want the scrutiny and the whispering, relationships and breakups are hard enough as is, spare me having Big Brother, Pookie, and his cousins and ‘nem watching…..
Office Romance probably accounts for about 30% of my sex life.
I’m in a profession that keeps me circulating through every office in the building. So I get to meet and talk to every woman in the place regularly. And since I am so damn sexy, a lot of them slide me their number or email me as soon as I leave their office. Normally you don’t have to worry about the IT guy because he is some greasy looking nerd with a pocket protector. But fellas let me tell you, if the IT guy at your woman’s job is anything like me, watch out! In my experience not even marriage matters in the workplace. It’s like people see the job like it’s Vegas or something.
As an IT guy I have access to most areas in the building, so this provides me with lots of places to get my split-mo blippy on. Nothing better than getting it in on a Presidential Cabinet member’s desk with his secretary and then leaving him a note saying you’ll fix his computer in the morning! If your woman works in the government or really anywhere that has an IT team, chances are there is an IT guy that is either getting it, or trying to and she is not telling you because she is considering it……..because he is sexy……….because he is me! LOL!
“Normally you don’t have to worry about the IT guy because he is some greasy looking nerd with a pocket protector”
There’s only one half-way decent looking IT guy here at the J. Only 1 out of 10.
I know it is normally like that. But i think the managers here must have had appearance as a criteria. My team is the coolest though. We have only 2 nerds out of 15. The rest of the guys are all people you’d love to hang with, and according to the ladies, at least 5 of them are almost as good looking as me! LOL!
Oh yeah? I may hafta put in for a transfer…lol
***fanning self*** BUCK? ya’ll hiring?
You don’t even need an application! Let’s just have the interview in the corner just in case it gets messy. I’ll show you how to install a Hard Drive!
mmm… I hope it’s water proof…
BUCK!!
I think there is something wrong with my computer…everytime I type BUCK…the B shows up on the screen as an F…can you (biting lip, looking crotchward) help me with that??
LOL! I don’t know if I can fix the keys, but I can make you believe the two words are synonymous!
Crotchward?? LMBOOOO!
I heart you Goode.
@BUCK…damn…now the B is showing up as an S…I think my mouth just started watering…Pavlov much?
***telling corner cleaning crew to stay on stand by, since goodeness and big buck are gonna be occupying that space shortly***
@CHAMP…good looking out…gonna be there shortly..and stay there for a while!
EEWWW!! The corner is gon smell like bedussie!! lol
Uh yeah…..it always does…..
Buck your story reminded me of the ebay comercial w/ the IT all over the place. strait killin me.
@ first I was thinking you were gonna say you were the mailroom dude n you were like chris rock in boomerang or even better the rubber band man from them staples comercials *cracking up*
the Rubber Band man was cool as hell. he is Crabman now
I’m lookin for those commercials on Youtube
and apparently he get a lot of slippidy-mo-bippity too
^^^^^
we stay with a pretty sexy IT guy..in fact its way more normal now for the IT guy to be a young black guy fresh out of school than an older white one (older white guy is usually the manager). The IT guy is normally a man whore due to the fact that one it is assumed that people in IT make a good money, and 2 in school he was probably too busy studying and couldnt get his party on consistently and was not able to take advantage of of heaps of college booty and is making up for lost time.
“Normally you don’t have to worry about the IT guy because he is some greasy looking nerd with a pocket protector”
LOL! I work in IT and this is so true! You will rarely see a good-looking guy in IT.
I haven’t had an office romance. We’ll say it’s because I’m too smart for that
The closest I’ve come to anything remotely looking like that would be a couple nights ago. I’m out somewhere and get introduced to this chick by a bartender friend of mine. Later that night, me and the chick start talking and it turns out she’s an EE.
So, we start talking about that and schools and a couple minutes later she’s pulling out her business card offering to set me up with an interview with her boss. And a few minutes after that, I’m interviewing for a much different job
this can also be applied to hooking up with neighbors… just as dangerous.
SHAY…type that ish…
NEVER hook up with a neighbor if you are a homeowner…and ONLY hook up with a neighbor if you are an apartment dweller if you have already put in your 30 notice!
These boys will be in your bushes with a helmet on with leave duct taped to it!!
My neighbor comes outside EVERY time I come or go…and always has a beer in his hand…speaking to my son, trying to get me to invite him into MyPlace…NILL Yo’SELF!!! even if he wasn’t short, with a sprinkler mowf, living at his mama’s, with no job…he still wouldn’t have a ho’s chance at church of even getting dap from me…it’s really quite sad!
Oh no. Never neighbors. We gotta have at least 10 to 30 minute buffer zone.
If the romance goes sour, work is the last place you want to see an ex day in and day out. Truer words have not been spoken – “Don’t get your honey where you make your money.”
This is a funny topic, primarily because I am UBER attracted to this man that works here in the building. I haven’t bothered to make anything happen, for two reasons (a) his department works very closely with mine (though our direct work related contact is minimal) and (b) i’m not sure how i feel about workplace romance as i’ve never had one. if anything happens, i plan to keep it SUPER quiet, cause um, i’on want mofos all up in the kool-aid…
Why did I have to google “bats in the belfry” and then CRACK UP LAUGHING???? I had no idea what this meant, but now I’m using it.
Anywho, I have had two office romances and when they were good, they were good, and when they were bad/went sour/went South EVERYBODY knew about it and/or could tell.
My advice: Avoid it at all costs. UNLESS you are the only two people working there!!!!!!
“UNLESS you are the only two people working there!!!!!!”
this would make things even worse, lol
Dammnit!!!!!! Now that I think about it, you may be right. HA!
Total aside…..champ and panama, have u thought of creating a meetup in the DC area on meetup.com? That would be quite a treat
KJ – they are supposed to be working on a VSB Family Union (can’t be REunion cuz we ain’t ever unioned in the first place)… you know the BANGINGEST VSB(oys and girls) ain’t nowhere near the DMV…lol
You got that right Goodeness.
I beg to differ my sweet Goody. I am in the DMV. However temporary that may be. And I am Top Shelf around here! LOL!
(batting eyelashes) excuse me your royal BUCK-ness but you typed “temporary”…so I maintain my point…but will remix it to appease…
MOST of the BANGINGEST VSB(oys and girls) ain’t nowhere near the DMV…
happy now? you know I gotta keep you happy? lol…
Daddy is pleased! Keep it up and I just might have to wear the head phones while you rock the mic and spit 69 bars! LOL!
R we gonna go here again? We were just working on weather or not there was a corelation of bangingest places N yeah Toronto came up. Toronto bychz Toronto
a union/reunion would be hot. don’t worry we’ll hold a vigil for those not in a area, maybe a webcast lol
“a union/reunion would be hot. don’t worry we’ll hold a vigil for those not in a area, maybe a webcast lol”
this is pending, actually
@champ..pending yes…but a webcast? really? (clearing throat) booooooooooooooooo!!!
I might break my never meet people that you only know from the internet rule for that one lol.
Dorian G…you KNOW you e-love us…this ain’t the same thing as the MySpace to MyPlace phenom…
You best NOT be joking!!! I will book my ticket from the Chi, and come meet my e-IGNANTS! Make that ish happen!
And umm… can we do it somewhere warm if its gon be around wintertime? When I leave the Chi during those wretched months, I don’t like going to an equally frigid place.
Thanks.
Management (Upper Echelon)
KJ…kill yo’self…you know GOODEN well that there is NO WAY the VSB is connecting and the charter member of the Royal Order of the Corner not be in the house (or the corner) or whatever…LOL…I am talking frequent flyer miles bay-bee!!
aight, make that trip then, sounds like a plan!
Some emails I came upon during my first few days at a major law firm in NYC. These were sent firm(world)wide by a vindictive co-worker (reason enough to NEVER have an office romance).
This reaction from a partner sums it up: “This is SO inappropriate!!! Delete it ASAP! But not before you print it OUT!!!!!”
Also, please note the unimpressive writing, which, in and of itself, is pretty amusing, lol. Enjoy!
*****************************************************
From: Houston, S
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 12:19 PM
To: Cole, L
Subject: Hey!
Hey! What’s up?
—————————————–
From: Cole, L
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 12:28 PM
To: Houston, S
Subject: RE: Hey!
Hey Girl
Nothing much is up with me. What’s going on with you? Miss me??? I got off a little bit earlier and was able to catch an earlier train yesterday. Did you go to bible class last night?
———————————————–
From: Houston, S
Sent: Thursday, January 19, 2006 1:00 PM
To: Cole, L
Subject: RE: Hey!
Of course I did not miss you (LOL).Girl so much stuff was said after the party saturday Terrance called me yesterday furious.
Okay first of all it was suppose to be a party on the low right because it was in the building. Now he did clear it with the VP
he said it was suppose to be just a few friends. Now one of the security guards he invited girl went back and told the other security guards about like a little b—-. And Terrance said they were all mad at him coming up to him saying oh you had a party saturday. And Keith the guy that told it had his girlfriend with him and they got into an argument because some people were saying she was pusing up on all the guys there. She is ugly as hell sorry but it is true Terrance say she told Keith that when she was dancing with Terrance his d— got hard. Girl it was a trip and remember how I told you Caren was dogging out
Kara Terrance really good friend. Well I told him yesterday I told him I was really fighting not to but she is a hating a– b—-
and she had no right trashing that girl like that. He really got mad he was like you should have never told me that he that is it her a– is out but I tried to warn him Caren kept trying to feel on him all night girl she is so desperate and thirsty none of the guys danced with her. And on top of that he said he heard that he had strippers at the party and rump shakers girl where did
people get this info Hater’s man I tell you. And I told him to be careful with Felecia Dennis also the girl that came with me she talks to
damn much. I told him how she said he fronted her off in the lobby and other stuff that she said everybody knows she talks to
damn much. And he told the guy is not even interested in her like that he just wants to tap that a–. And I told Terrance hell I know that but I don’t s— to do with it I am staying out of it. And he said besides Chuck is married he ask me did I know that and I told him no I did not know and did not care.Girl people are a trip that is why I am not f—— with nobody that is going to have my best interest at heart. I have so more to tell later but knew Caren a– what a hater hell she talk about me when she went to bathroom with some other females. Terrance ain’t nobody going to come to come funtions and talk about my friends.
HOLLA BACK.
————————————————
From: Cole, L
Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 9:29 AM
To: Houston, S
Subject: RE: Hey!
Good Morning
Hey What’s up? Sorry I could not email you back yesterday. It got kind of busy towards the end of the day. My boss was not here yesterday, but she kept me busy through emails. About time I was finished with her, I rushed out of here. I was able to catch the Rock Island train home. Anyway, since the party have you seen Caren? How did you find out that she was talking about you?
——————————————
From: Houston, S
Sent: Friday, January 20, 2006 12:28 PM
To: ‘Cole, L
Subject: RE: Hey!
PART TWO!
Okay remember I mention Terrance called me this morning right! Well for one he called about the email I sent him and also telling me don’t put a return receipt on his email. You know my answer shut it up but any way he got off in to talking some other some guy that works up under him or what ever and how guys act little females and gossip more than women. He said he actually had to retract a statement he made about women he said he has come to find to find out men act and talk alot like
little b——. I’m thinking well damn it is about time so then I broke out with some real knowledge for his a– so we went on talking about different things and life in general it was actually a very intelligent conversation. So at first he was like trying see if he could get me all rowled up and told I peep his card on that. And further more I told him I know he trys to do it on purpose some just see if he can get a rise out of me. And told him I am learning and getting very good at his routine when it comes to that and it will be harder for him to get to me. So any way I went on to tell him that women need to learn how accept themselves for who they are and the way they are. I told I am completely and totally satisfied with the person that I am I love who I am and yes we all gain weight and get older but that has nothing to do with the person themselves. If man can’t accept you for who you are and the way that you look then f— them. Men can always tell when a woman is not at her best or has low selfesteem problems and comes off as being very thirsty and hungry for some attention. And that is exactly how they will treat you attract who you are. And also told I him don’t have time for some n—– to get his s— together he had better step to me ready with money in the bank half way got his act together and leave the drama at the doorstep. I also told he him that women should not depend on men for their own happiness they need to find it on their own. And I made sure I let know that
I do not depend on him for my happiness he does make my life what it is. He is friend and care deeply for him but that is where it stops I have nothing to gain from him. Now of course he is hanging to every word I am saying and I also told him that he is a character builder for me everytime he does something silly. He calls me I don’t call him hardly ever any more but listen to this his little a– is soooooooooooo horny right now I knew it from a couple of days ago but I am playing it off and I am not saying anything. I have been good thus far I saw he makes little comments here and there but I ignore them. So saw him this morning right he had someone with him showing the guy around the building on some buisness. So I said to myself watch his
a– his going to call and what do you know as soon as he got to his offiice that is exactly what he did. He said you were surprise see huh I said uh no you doing your job and busy as usually. He was yea you were surprise to see me I said again no
but any way he called to tell me he is getting ready to watch me s— his d— on the movie that we made he is so funny. So I ask why would you call me and tell me that what a tease and I asked him what does that do for me he said I don’t know but I know what it is going to do for me he was like do you want to listen to all the nasty stuff you were saying I told I already know. So you know he is going to be in full affect after that but I am going to hold my peace and see what happens I am not saying a word. And weekend well that will be pure hell for him because you know a brother will be fiening for a sista.
——————————————–
From: Houston, S.
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 9:32 AM
To: Cole, L.
Subject: Hey!
Hey! Good Morning! What’s Up?
——————————————————
From: Cole, L
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 11:57 AM
To: Houston, S
Subject: RE: Hey!
Hey
Nothing much is up with me. What’s up with you? How was your day off yesterday???? Was it well enjoyed?
——————————————————
From: Houston, S
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 1:12 PM
To: Cole, L
Subject: RE: Hey!
It was okay! Well my friend was having some difficulties yesterday he could not get it to stay h— for some reason. As a matter of fact a could not get it up a few times. I don’t what happen with yesterday I felt kind bad for him he was a little
embarass and his little pride and ego was shot. We filmed it again it was excellent great lighting this time but for some reason
he just was not having a good day. He was like I don’t why I can’t get it to act right I don’t what is wrong with it he said it is really starting to pist me off. And he was a little upset when he left yesterday I felt sorry for him because I know how men are
when it come to that and especially with him. He said I to know me I know you are mad at me right I was like no he said you are going to be mad at me Sylvia. I told him for what things happen and every time won’t be the same so we spent quite a bit of time together yesterday he go there around 9:00 and did not leave until around 1:00 pm. So you know what that means he took the day off to be with me. After we finish the movie we just laid and cuddle up and I put in movie he nodded off a little
he always wants to take a nap. But girl I was on 10 yesterday I was all over his a– he was you are a little more aggressive tha than you usually are. I was saying all kinds of nasty things to him he I think it bothers him when he thinks he has not pleased me because he is always asking me tell what you like so I can take care of you. I actually enjoyed his company yesterday we talked and laugh about crazy stuff. But wait why did he tell me he loved me yesterday he was all passionate with this was while I was in the middle of hooking him up and you know what I mean. I told him I know you do and he ask me did I love him or was it just because of what we do. I told him I loved him and I love doing things to him and basically I love everything about him. Girl oh goodness I thinking where did that come from I know his a– had fallen for me but I surprise to hear that but remember a while back I told you when he would come over and we did not see each other for a minute how he tell me how much he missed me or whatever I knew then that his feelings where real thick. But I will take it with a grain salt and not read all into but it has been three years for a brotha and s— is the bomb and well what can I say. But to be honest I am head over hills with him I guess because I have my feelings a bit reserved because I know the deal. But he was the main one trying to be careful and look what happen he end getting caught real bad. When we were watching the film after he rewind it which I did not want to see myself on camera but I did look at. He was like you are so nasty and I told him I know he said yea that is why I loveeeeeeee your little freaky a–. My boy got it bad we talk just about everyday so what does that tell you but anyway let me know what you think about the L WORD FROM HIM. HOLLA BACK
———————————————————–
From: Cole, L
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 2:22 PM
To: Houston, S
Subject: RE: Hey!
OH MY GOD!!! I can’t beleive he actually said that. However, like you said don’t let that carry a lot of weight. I’m not saying that he’s lieing or anything, but just don’t get caught up in those words. Because even though the feelings are out, the situation is still the same. Continue to do what your doing. Like you said you don’t call him as much, you let him call you. Don’t let this change your actions.
——————————————————
From: Houston, S
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2006 3:06 PM
To: ‘Cole, L
Subject: RE: Hey!
No way no how! I am to intelligent for that and I know how some operate and will tell some bull to see if you believe it. I know back in the day my boy was serious player he could not tell me different. That was until somebody tried to kill his a–
but men normally try to hide their feelings they are the first ones to fall for you but don’t want you to know. I never call him he always calls me and the only way I will call him is if he calls and leaves me a message on my voicemail at work to call him back. He is funny he always wants to know what I did the night before when he calls me the next day I miss having somebody in my life but at the same time I am so glad I am not trapped in a mess relationship or marriage. He told me he was going to be on vacation next week he said he needed a vacation. So I asked him was he going out of town or anything he said no he just going to be at home while his kids are at school I am sure that includes the wife also. He needs to take breather just chill in the home by himself. I remember when he was suppose to be off around the christmas and new years holiday he came into work
some of those days because his wife takes off at the same and he said she drives him crazy when she at home. But I get kick
of just knowing his a– is caught up he suppose to be so smart cool and never lets his guard down. Yea right but hey that’s a
man for you.
I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed that I could follow and comprehend such a circuitous conversation…
damn I really need to do some work…
That e-mail read like one of those hood novels you can get from wal-mart.
hahahahhaha!!! Too true!
Urban Lit…they call it, I call it crap.
Damn, if I only had an attention span to read something that long… (ignore the fact that I read ALL the comments so far)
This b**ch is annoying! She seems like the worst person you ever want to email! You say hey how was your day and she hits you back with a 4 page letter like she is Aaliyah of the office and sh*t.
damn BUCK…how do you really feel??
I feel you. My personal favorite of hers:
“I am to intelligent for that”
….right….
“she hits you back with a 4 page letter like she is Aaliyah of the office and sh*t”
CTFU
“she hits you back with a 4 page letter like she is Aaliyah of the office and sh*t”
LMBAO as I cut off the computer and str8ten my desk trying to kill time (6:30 get off time).
“But wait why did he tell me he loved me yesterday he was all passionate with this was while I was in the middle of hooking him up and you know what I mean.”
((blank stare))
Yesssss! Time To Go! (applying lipgloss right now anticipating happy hour looking for the IT guy)
My first job after graduate school, I ‘dated’ a dude I worked with. Problem was, HE all of a sudden had lots to say to me. People started getting wise. I told them he had a thing with my linesister. Another chick was crushing on him HARD. He was following me into copy rooms and stuff. It was on the cusp of being a mess. I ended up quitting. He stalked me.
Now, his ass works for the SAME company as I do-again. I didn’t know he did. I sent out an email and dammit if he didn’t respond trying to strike up a conversation.
Workplace romance? I couldn’t let someone from my office sharpen my pencil (in the fun way). I’m 1 of 2 black people there. There’s no possible way it would end well. I could do without a sexual harassment claim. That’d be so….so…stereotypical. I get nervous enough emailing with people at other companies about anything that isn’t G rated. Just a few kind words at the water cooler and keep it moving. That simple.