its an inevitability.
a forgone conclusion.
an inflexible and inescapable eventuality.
it all starts the same way. champ enters room. champ announces his presence, usually by either giving a head nod to noone in particular or verbally stating “the champ is here” in a forcefully hushed tone. outrageously attractive woman approaches champ. champ and outrageously attractive woman immediately leave room and have wild shitake monkey sex. champ and woman speak. woman is impressed with champ’s diction and banter. champ is impressed with woman’s diction and banter, but more impressed with her ass.
eventually, the champ and this woman will go on 2-4 extremely irrelevant dates, filled with aggressively nonchalant flirting, subtle promises of breakfast making, and extremely irrelevant questions, sans for one…the champs most tried and true relationship litmus test
“do you like “the wire”?”
although seemingly innocuous, this simple five word question tells me everything i need to know about the potential somewhat significant other. “how, omnipotent champ?” you ask? its all about the answers.
lemme walk you through it
1. “no. it sucks”
there’s two types of people in this world: people who love the wire, and soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophiles. there’s no inbetween. if you don’t like the wire, than you’re a soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophile. since the champ doesn’t date soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophiles unless they look like post-”in the house”/pre-crack maia campbell, this answer lets me know there’s no future between us. also, usually at this point i offer to go dutch.
2. “no. i can’t watch it because it reminds me too much of home”
run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want to hear how. i don’t look back. i don’t ask for the check. i just run.
3. “hmmm. the wire? never heard of it”
obviously, this means that this person is living in a pop culture vacuum. although her pop cultural ignorance shows that we wouldn’t be compatible, women living in pop culture vacuums tend to be freaks (ie: palin, sarah) so you can find an eventual use for her if you’re creative.
4. “i actually haven’t seen it, but i’ve heard good things about it.”
5. “yes!!!”
the only completely acceptable answers. if she follows up with “in fact, i just bought the complete dvd set”, i might even make her some buttermilk waffles.
whether conscious or subconscious, blatant or subtle, intentional or accidental, we all have relationship litmus tests we put prospective prospects through. unambiguous measuring sticks, these or our standardized ways of weeding through the mucky modern-day relationship morass.
***along with the wire query, i also give potentials the stair test. to expound, i live on the top floor of my building. if a walk up to my apartment makes you sound like an emphasemic darth vader, maybe its time to head back to training camp***
so, people of vsb…what are your relationship litmus tests?
—the champ
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{ 546 comments… read them below or add one }
i hate that i read this site so much that one of my relationship litmus test is also “do you watch the wire?” I literally die inside every time a dude does the whole, “Oh yeah, I tried to watch it but I didn’t really understand it.” I don’t think I’d be able to forgive even Idris Elba for doing that. Not that Idris Elba would, but you know what I mean.
Other questions:
1. Do you watch 24? (Desired response: “Jack Bauer = GOD”)
2. Would you have anal chex? (Desired response = *disgusted face*)
3. I’m from Africa (Undesired response: any reference whatsoever to safaris, the Lion King, loose-tittay-having “tribeswomen,” AIDS, Darfur, jungles, apes, whether there are really pygmies roaming wild through the streets with no appropriate midget-protection police force in action – in short, if it’s not about Nigeria specifically e.g. “Oh, I know a little bit about Lagos”, please just shut the freak up or politely ask me to elaborate).
4. This isn’t a question, but any guy who’s ready to call me his girlfriend after one date (or, more often, one session dans le sack) also fails the relationship litmus test. We need to get to know each other a little better first – if you move too fast for me, it’s not going to work. Period.
@puff,
3. I don’t get alot of these responses. What I do get however is “Oh, yeah my *insert appropriate relative* is a missionary/ went on a mission trip/ funded a mission trip/ dreamt he was on a mission trip to Africa (yeah, it’s still never a specific country). This usually induces two automatic responses: 1. Shit, how much saving do we really need? 2. Oh God, please don’t let the follow up statement be along the lines ” Yeah, those poor children were so sad/ The people were so welcoming, they had so little but were so happy to share/ I just love how happy and warm everyone is.’ I don’t know why but any of the statements or combinations of or similar variations makes me want to impale the person that uttered them with the nearest plastic object.
Call me ungodly, but if I could I would ban all missionaries from setting foot into that continent and/or telling me their warm, fuzzy ‘there so poor but happy spiel’.
Ooooh, I also get the ‘ Yeah, I’m going to Africa in *insert appropriate time frame* followed by a very pregnant pause. I never know what to say. I usually nod, smile and say “Good for you. I’m sure you’ll love it.”
@ofloveandotherdemons,
So basically after you announce you’re from Africa the other person should just sit there and smile? No further dialogue needed?
@Dom,
one could ask which country – just a thought…
@YGB,
I guess that works.
@Dom,
No, I’m perfectly happy to discuss anything about my country as long it doesn’t involve missions,orphanages or impending travel plans. Yes, I’m aware it’s illogical but mention of mission trips stories or trips gives me hives. In the case of the former I always feel like the person telling me this expects me to congratulate them or thank them for helping our poor, and the later wants travel points on an entire continent. Logic and emotion never seem to be in sync with me.
Seriously though, Africa as a continent is the most christian(ized) place in the planet, do we really still need all those missionaries? 75% of the population already knows and loves BBJ, shouldn’t Christiandom start rerouting all those resources to Asia or somesuch? I alse read The River Between growing up, about colonial era missionaries, and me and them have been a no-go since then.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
i’m going to officially un-ban you. although i dont agree with you, i appreciate your perspective and sh*t
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Dont get me wrong, I agree that the missionary work is some BS. Esp. in 2009. But it seems the travel thing is taking it a bit too far. Seems like people are just looking for a way to connect with you and keep the convo going. I dont think the later is meant to be ofensive at all.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I do feel this entire comment so much, I have no words.
@puff,
Um, why is the current guy I’m dating acting like your #4? I think we’ve had this discussion already though…
…AND he’s getting worse…again.
@chaoticdiva,
i tell you girl, take two and walk it out withOUT this dude… these are the ones who end up stalkers/pains in the ar$e. can’t stand no clingy nucca…
@puff,
“3. I’m from Africa (Undesired response: any reference whatsoever to safaris, the Lion King, loose-tittay-having “tribeswomen,” AIDS, Darfur, jungles, apes, whether there are really pygmies roaming wild through the streets with no appropriate midget-protection police force in action – in short, if it’s not about Nigeria specifically e.g. “Oh, I know a little bit about Lagos”, please just shut the freak up or politely ask me to elaborate).”
LMAO! i havent had any of those responses, but sweet jebus that is hilarious!
@puff,
“3. I’m from Africa (Undesired response: any reference whatsoever to safaris, the Lion King, loose-tittay-having “tribeswomen,” AIDS, Darfur, jungles, apes, whether there are really pygmies roaming wild through the streets with no appropriate midget-protection police force in action – in short, if it’s not about Nigeria specifically e.g. “Oh, I know a little bit about Lagos”, please just shut the freak up or politely ask me to elaborate).”
Please do not get me started! This REALLY REALLY grates my tits!
Like this one ignoramus who asked me if it’s true that lions run around the street and sh*t! Response: depends on what u’ve been smoking!
To people who have asked/planning to ask this question: do you realize that lions actually eat people?
@YGB,
grates your tits?!?! ouch! first ive heard that one! lol
@shatani,
That question causes me so much pain u hav no idea!
@YGB,
is tit grating an african thing?
@The Champ, stop it.
just.stop.it.
@The Champ,
LOL! Fukken STOP!
@puff,
i hate that i read this site so much that one of my relationship litmus test is also “do you watch the wire?”
wait. did vsb directly influence your wire litmus test? if so, this might be the most important thing ive ever done this week
@The Champ,
lol, actually it did – it verified for me that the wire is indeed the greatest show of all time, ever. and if vsb thinks so, then any man i’m dating must too.
@puff,
this makes me proud and sh*t
@puff,
# 4 is real shyt. Moving to fast is sinful… and it the reason for global warming, test tube babies, cloning chickens, the erosion of the polar ice caps, al queda, the war in palestine, lol…. and a host of other evils.
@puff, it’s HAAARD being an african woman, for reasons people don’t even know!
i remember i was in jamaica once on holiday, with two friends – one from zimbabwe, and another from kenya – and we stopped telling the locals (specifically the men) where we were from (and faked bad, bad american accents) because on hearing i was south african, they would always, always, ALWAYS ask me to sing miriam makeba’s click song!!! while asking for our numbers!!
another horrid response was them breaking down our geneaology (both my friends were half white – i am not, but apparently, light skinned enough that i must’ve been 1/4 white) – so men would be like ‘you girls african??? noo, noo waaaaaay too light skinned’… (this is supposed to be a compliment mind you)…. what you mixed with??”
this is how NOT to get the girls number…
@superwoman,
“…they would always, always, ALWAYS ask me to sing miriam makeba’s click song!!”
i forgot to list this. during the first phone convo i always ask the chick to sing this song, just to test her pipes. damn, who knew that this was a transcendent test??
@The Champ,
SHUT.IT.
@puff,
How is it that you can make enough of a connection to have dude dancing all up in the vajiggles, but not enough of one for exclusivity to not be considered “moving too fast”?
@Nikiloveli,
for me, chex is one part of checking that we’re mutually compatible, not a special prize at the end of everything. i gotta test run the goods before i commit, both physical and otherwise.
@puff,
Understood.
@puff,
chex is one part of checking that we’re mutually compatible
so you base your sexual compatibility judgment on first time sex, which is traditionally usually the worst sex you have with somebody?
@The Champ,
1st time chex is like the first pancake. It’s only purpose is to properly calibrate the timing, temperature, and lubrication necessary to achieve success on subsequent attempts.
@Nikiloveli,
if your analogy was a sneaker, it would be the iversons from 1998 (the most comfortable basketball shoe ever)
@puff, this is true. i guess i disagree with everyone on this issue. i think first time chex can determine a lot. it doesn’t have to be a home run, but if the basics (like paying attention and at least trying to get me off) are not included then i probably don’t want to have a second time with you.
@puff, 3 for me brings unwarannted mentions of how much they loved ‘Black Hawk Down’. At which point I pull out the lil flask in my bag, pour out some sh*t, and calmly walk (not run) to the nearest exit.
@overit, *unwarranted. dang keyboard.
@overit,
black hawk down was easily one of the most disturbing movies i’ve ever seen, right up there with “mystic river” and “glitter”
@The Champ,
I damn near had italian dark roast all over my monitor when i read this…. warn people next time, will ya?
@The Champ,
You saw Glitter??? I can’t look at u the same way.
@Luvvie,
You saw Glitter??? I can’t look at u the same way.
so you cant look at me with lustful eyes anymore?
@The Champ,
If by “lustful”, you mean “Slight disdain” then yes. They have been replaced with full-fledged lethal side-eyes
it’s hard for me to narrow it down to one, but if i had to it would be the mother-son relationship. it may sound like cliche psycho-babble but it really does say a lot. we can’t choose our parents, so i don’t fault someone for having a distant relationship with someone who isn’t an ideal parent. but it’s more about how they deal with that distance and how it manifests in their day to day relationships with women.
speaking of the wire, you just reminded me that one of my neighbors has been holding on to my season one box set for entirely too long. start the riots.
@Miss Patterson,
speaking of the wire, you just reminded me that one of my neighbors has been holding on to my season one box set for entirely too long.
how many box sets do you own and sh*t?
@The Champ, four (seasons 1 thru 4)
hey what happens to the people in category number 4? that may or may not be me…
oooh never mind, i just re-read.
good post though, i’ll be back in the morning with something substantial to add
@apres moi,
Liar.
I usually see whether the guy is a possible dowry candidate by ascertaining whether he is willing to put up with the things that I truly, madly and deeply love. He doesn’t have to like them, but if we are going to work he needs to be able to tolerate them.
Case in point, I loooveee music. Love it so much that with the exception of the 8hours I spend at work I always have something playing. 85% of the time, the music I have on can be described as folksy/acoustic/granola-tree hugging-esque. Now if the very thought of having your eardrums accosted by Andrew Bird/Revival/Iron and Wine/ insert appropriate melachonly inducing-slit your wrists-acoustic band for even 30minutes makes you want to shank yourself with a rusty nail, then there is a slight chance we won’t work out.
I’m also deathly allergic to xenophobia. If you automatically mistrust everything that doesn’t fall under your parameters of ‘normal’, and are not willing to give it/them a chance then….BOOOOOO YOU. Yep, and no banana pancakes either. Does being against xenophobia actually make you xenophobic?
Sadly I have never watched The Wire. I know it’s telling of my charachter and probably means that I should take my DNA out the gene pool , but there it is. I don’t even have a good excuse for it. I always hoped we’d work out.
(Sorry for the thesis length post; killer insomnia. )
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I’ve seen one episode. That probably makes me a poser.
@chaoticdiva,
Nothing wrong with being a poser. I think ‘poserdom’ is one of the most under rated social phenomenon of the 21st century. Plus, if there were no posers 78.3% of the great State of California would be unoccupied.
I think my problem is that the show has been so hyped that not watching it is my ridicolous rebellion. An eff you to the world if you may.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I think my problem is that the show has been so hyped that not watching it is my ridicolous rebellion. An eff you to the world if you may.
although you’re still banned, i can understand that sentiment. this is why i refused to watch the color purple until last year. i got so tired of people telling me to watch it that i intentionally avoided it in pointless spite.
@The Champ, i thought every black child’s parents MADE them see this movie. my mom made me watch it in 4th grade, (i hated danny glover for a long time) and then we had to watch it in 6th grade english class too (this was at a predominately white school, mind you).
@miss patterson,
No, the movie every black child was made to see when I was growing up was ROOTS. I cried like a baby when Kunta said his name was “Toby”… those bastards!
@Toussaintthefree,
They made us watch “Mississippi Burning” in HS. ON MLK day, no less!
@Toussaintthefree,
welcome and sh@t
@ofloveandotherdemons,
wow. congrats on being the first visitor to be welcomed…
“Sadly I have never watched The Wire.”
…and banned simultaneously. good sh*t
@The Champ,
What ????? Noooooooo. Can we at least put me under a probation period?? Pretty please. I’m sure I have other traits that make up for this one charachter flaw. Sure me not watching the Wire is pretty damning, but I make killer pancakes, don’t kick baby kitten of skin baby seals……huh. Don’t those count for something. Grown seals are fair game; they should know how to stand up for themselves by then
@The Champ,
What….NOOOO!!!!!! So does that mean the white fence, 2.5 kids, pug and 3 chocolate, red headed children are out of the question as well?
Come on, reconsider? I’m sure I have other traits that out way this one thing. Sure it’s pretty damning that I haven’t watched the thing, but I don’t kick baby kitten or skin young seals (the older ones are fair game). No……really, still banned?
@ofloveandotherdemons,
*3 chocolate, red headed grand children*
@ofloveandotherdemons,
just as i was about to un-ban you for the pancake comment, you responding to your own comment (twice!) is enough cause for the ban to stay.
as you can see, though, i do take bribes. a little breakfast food will take you a long way
@The Champ,
Sorry, fuging technology. It said my first one didn’t go through. Mea culpa!!!! I’ll throw in some tofu scramble to sweeten the deal. Pretty please, unban me.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
knowing the Champ… tofu scramble MIGHT get you something worse than banned.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“I’ll throw in some tofu scramble to sweeten the deal”
is this a board game?
@The Champ,
Lol, child JUST. NO. I take it you are not a tofu lover. Coool,cool.I can pass by Denny’s and grab you a Grand Slam.
@ofloveandotherdemons, Gabriel Garcia Mrarquez fan?…
@Tasty Kake215,
Yep, he is one of my imaginary baby daddies. I’ve read everything he has written, except his biography. I’m afraid to read it incase it shatters the image of him that I’ve build in my head
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Welcome!!!
**Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
I cannot reverse Champ banning you, but I can spread sparkly goodness and hope for the best
@blackberry molasses,
Thanks luv. I’m sure he’ll come to his sense. If not I’ll just assume another identity, creep into the site when his not around, and still any left overs he has in the fridge. You know, what people do in the real world.
@blackberry molasses, lmao
@ofloveandotherdemons,
im’ma go ahead and throw some *shooting gold stars* into bbmo’s diva dust v 2.0 ™ and hope that gives you a fighting chance. lol
welcome!!!
@ofloveandotherdemons,
You are hilarious!
But those are great litmus tests and mine are eerily along those lines.
I am also part of the ones that have never watched The Wire…. but I’ve heard nice things.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
i’m completely with you on the music thing. if you don’t like good music then we won’t work out. especially since one of my hobbies is going to concerts and such…if i can’t go w/you, im finding another date…we just cant be together.
I’m back!!! Miss me?
Anyways…litmus tests….I have several.
1. Do you watch True Blood/30 Rock/ Weeds?
Yes, then we’re cool. No, then we’re not. Never seen it, then I get them hooked on the shows. Ask my last two dates, they’ll tell you.
2. Do you own pets?
I have a cat. I want a dog. If he doesn’t like animals and hes’ on PETA’S most wanted list for animal cruelty, best believe I’m outta there.
3. We’re you ever arrested?
Depending on the answer determines if I run. And if you lie, I will find out.
4. Tell me something about yourself that nobody knows.
Depending on the answer determines if I run.
5. Are you a Michigan fan.
If yes, than its an automatic FAIL. Green and White all day baby!!!
6. Do you like the Patriots?
Nobody has been an exception to this one yet. And he better be damn near perfect for me to let that slide.
(by the way, bonus points to the guy who is a Spartan and a Steelers fan. Me love you long time…lol)
7. Do you drink?
Usually an indication of someone’s level of introversion. Typically the more they drink [socially], the more they like to party. This is also a large determining factor of if he’s datable or not.
@chaoticdiva,
wait, what response are you looking for on the Patriots test? lol
@shatani,
If yes for Patriots, then he’s gone, and I may even shoot him on his way out.
No, then we’re good, until he mentions the Jets, the Giants or the Seahawks….
@chaoticdiva,
booooooooooooo @ your Patriots hating. I love the Patriots. Of course I got on the bandwagon while living in Boston before their perfect season.
I always liked how Tom Brady ran his offense like a good single Black mother ran a household. Might not have all the ideal ingredients, but can make it look damn good.
How can you not like that? One yaself!
@Cornell Westside,
booo on your love of those cheating a-holes… but then again, your home team wears long blond braids and look like Hulk Hogan dopplegangers with their eclectic facial hair…. **snicker**
I suppose you are excused.
@Cornell Westside,
I always liked how Tom Brady ran his offense like a good single Black mother ran a household. Might not have all the ideal ingredients, but can make it look damn good.
in this analogy, who would belichek be? since he looks and carries himself like a homeless man, maybe hes one of the soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophiles i mentioned earlier
@chaoticdiva, 5. “Are you a Michigan fan.
If yes, than its an automatic FAIL.!!!”
haha. Replace Michigan with Duke and that’s how I feel…
@Leila, replace michigan with princeton and we’re in the same boat
@chaoticdiva,
I’m back!!! Miss me?
no.
lol…seriously though, i’m gonna need you to expound on this:
“7. Do you drink?
Usually an indication of someone’s level of introversion. Typically the more they drink [socially], the more they like to party. This is also a large determining factor of if he’s datable or not.”
you didnt really make you dating feelings about drinking clear
@The Champ,
LMAO @ no. Ol’ jerk face humpty
@The Champ,
Pretty much what SxyScientst said. People that don’t drink often are judgemental a-holes that always try to stop my drinking. If they aren’t, they tend to be people that can’t hold their liquor.
I like to drink. Heavily. I can drink plenty under the table for my size. And nothing pisses me off more than a guy who’s like “you drink too much. Date me, and I can help you with your drinking problem.” Who says I have a problem? I don’t drink alone and I don’t drink daily. I don’t go to meetings, so don’t pass judgement.
[/vent]
@chaoticdiva,
Who says I have a problem? I don’t drink alone and I don’t drink daily. I don’t go to meetings, so don’t pass judgement.
the lady doth protest too much
@chaoticdiva,
your number 7 is right on the money. I take it a step further because I generally wont hang out with you if you don’t drink at all. Now if you’re a recovering alcoholic I can understand. but those ppl who have never had a drink voluntarily are a$$holes…
@SxyScientst,
those ppl who have never had a drink voluntarily are a$$holes
Agreed.
Besides how do you know yourself if you’ve never been drunk?
Litmus Test
1.Do you beat on women?
@Rihanna,
LMAO!!!
better test….do you pass out herpes like christmas cards?
@shatani,
you know some women will believe anything if it allows them to give a man the benefit of doubt, but when it comes to giving a woman the benefit of doubt, they’ll need more info/sources, or better yet- she deserved what she got.
Some message boards I’ve been to since, you should hear how some of the Chris Brown fans (ESPECIALLY THE FEMALES) are talking about Rihanna! Like she deserved it! With this new “herpes” story in the mix, painting him as a man scorned/betrayed/etc…it just justifies the action even more…
@Rihanna,
oh lordy…guess we got one that cant take a joke here….
@Rihanna,
I love whoever did that one. You are my favorite.
@Rihanna,
*D*E*A*D*
sidenote – their respective publicists must wetting themselves right now.
@puff,
whoever Rihanna’s publicist is semi-sucks at their job.
why would you say the girl was in a “traffic mishap” …..when her boyfriend is being accused of beating a women in a car,on the same night,after they were seen together.and then run it in the same story.
whatever,she was in a “mishap”alright,but it wasn’t one involving red lights and emergency brakes.
all that glitters ain’t gold.
@Rihanna,
I may just have to start asking random dudes this just for the reaction.
Lol.
@Rihanna,
Is this THE Rhianna? Just asking…
@Monk,
It’s actually Janet Jackson incognito.
@Rihanna,
welcome and sh*t.
@Rihanna, why did u give C brown the herp?
@osyeP,
OMG! i choked on this. I swear.
@Rihanna,
Aw RiRi. Is it true that CBreezie ponned that fo’head?? Sadness
@Luvvie,
I just almost inhaled a Dum-Dum, and it’s all your fault. You owe my esophagus an apology.
Ponned that fo’head?!!!
@Nikiloveli,
Dum Dums are delicious! Well, certain flavors. Anyway…
*Sigh*
Dear Niki’s Throatspace,
I’s sorry for testing your gag reflex by making you swallow a dum dum whole. You BOO will thank me.
Sinsurrly,
Luvvie
Man, sit yo ass down.
@8th Wonder,
LOL is this the reason for our fight?? Huh? You know you love me still!! Don’t leave meeeee *grabs on to Aif’s ankles*
dang, i cant get NO love….i dont have cable and i dont have netflix, so no…ive never seen the wire. i do have an offer to borrow the box set, but ive had to set some boundaries for myself because if i start watching that right now, this dissertation will never be written! so, my answer is, no but i intend to see the wire!
um…hmm. litmus tests. like PJizzle, i cant be bothered with people who cant quote Talladega Nights both accurately and with perfect timing. its just so disappointing! i never look at them the same way.
@shatani,
Talledega Nights is my sh….. homie!
@shatani,
Two words. Free Library.
@WuDaMan,
ive been in this fine city for 5 years and i have never set foot in a free library…do they have the wire there?
@shatani,
fluck yeah ninjuh. You better get yo free wire on.
@shatani,
ok. considering your circumstances, you’re excused.
@The Champ, no excuses. The bootleg def sellin them joints 2 seasons for $15
@osyeP,
the wire is the one piece of art i refuse to bootleg or download illegally. i dont have many principles, but this is one of them.
@The Champ,
I feel the same way about Michael Jackson. The five year old “Thriller” fan in me just wont let me do it.
@shatani,
I at least give folks the run of the Will Ferrell movies. They should be able to quote one or more of these: Old School, Anchorman, Stepbrothers or Talladega Nights.
@Luvvie,
absolutely…there was this guy that i was slowly becoming friends with. funny, smart cool…and then one day he said he hated Blades of Glory.
he is now dead to me.
My tests who is better joe montana or steve young… Dirty joe is the only way to go and who is the king of r&b? Answer bobby brown no exceptions
@shay-d-lady,
Bobby Brown? King of R&B? What about T-Pain????
@Monk,
This made me spill hot Echinacea tea all over the keyboard.
Now, you have IT to answer to, Monk!!!
@Monk,
Like I said on my blog, T-Pain is the Ghost of Coon Present. I mean it.
@shay-d-lady,
“who is the king of r&b? Answer bobby brown ”
King of reefer & blunt!
I don’t have any because I realize I have…uh…”unique” tastes, i.e. I’m a huge fan of Collateral and Heat. Have watched each at least 50-100 times. They never get old. The dialogue in both is great. Then I usually rattle off some other Michael Mann’ jawns, such as The Kingdom and Miami Vice ( I liked parts of Miami Vice, specifically when they were talkin with Yero…bananas). So any woman who does not have an appreciate of some of Mann’s 90s-present movies…FAIL!
Also if you attended my alma mater’s archrival…AUTO FAIL do not pass go, do not date, blacklist for not havin good sense.
@Stank-0, heat is a classic!
@postmodern pwnage,
Oh yeah Heat is the bizness!!!
@Stank-0,
i was with you until miami vice, which was basically “belly” with a bigger budget, which is even more f*cked up when you realize that “belly” was basically just the “mo diggity” video with a higher budget.
@The Champ,
*nodding*
@The Champ,
I’m one of the few people that are not opposed to Miami Vice. I stand by my conviction that it was good, in parts.
my litmus test is the whether or not one owns a passport. 1. it indicates you have some sort of ambition to see the world outside your own borders. 2.
@postmodern pwnage,
it indicates you have some sort of ambition to see the world outside your own borders
dating-wise, how does this matter?
@The Champ,
perhaps not a fair judgement, but 9 out of 10 people who have yet to travel anywhere, tend to not give a shit about the world, or even getting outside their little bubble. I do. It wont work.
@postmodern pwnage,
duly noted and sh*t
@postmodern pwnage,
It could just mean they don’t have the money to do it yet. International traveling is not cheap. That doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t desire to do it. Shoot, just gettin a passport is about a hunned (read: one hundred) dollars. I know cuz I’m bout to get one.
But, ya know, that’s your test, so you’re entitled.
@nia,
“It could just mean they don’t have the money to do it yet”
this is not really a great reason..part. when parts of europe during off season can be rather reasonable considering. (ie, DCA to LON(don)=$466 rt)…
Postmodern is right in a sense..it goes back to level of interest and exposure..cause if brother man can find a few hundred bucks for some sneakers, best believe in can find it for heathrow.
@Princess Duvet,
That $466 could also need to go to support for a child. You just never know people’s situation. But you know, we could go all day. People are entitled to their preferences. If that is important to a woman or man for someone that they’re dating, then they have the right to feel that way.
@nia,
I totally agree…500 bucks is some diaper money and support for a man with kids..but I can’t say I really attract men with child support problems…
All im saying is “doesn’t have the money” is not a compelling reason when he’s dressed to impress particularly with shoes and or a watch that rival the price for a ticket abroad.
Additionally, its OK to say that going overseas doesn’t interest you. I think thats my point too. Nor is it for me NOW a real deal breaker. Because Im pretty persuasive anyway..
but i don’t think people should necessarily put it on price. Because generally when it comes to what people want THEY FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
I think Id much rather appreciate a person being honest with their taste and hobbies than making up a bs excuse.
@Princess Duvet,
I keep telling people that money is never a good excuse for someone not to travel. If you have the desire that I have for traveling, money becomes the least of your issues.
We spend on what matters most to us. I was a broke foreign student in the US. I managed to travel every single break I had, and then some week-ends.
I will take a nice week-end getaway over an “it” bag, and a kick ass honeymoon over a platinum wedding.
It’s all about what is a priority for you.
@Sula
totally agree…i dunno know if I PERSONALLY want to shlep it freestyle on eurorail at my age (33)..but i did semi-shlep when I was 25.
but i can see how one might be discouraged if you’re looking to stay at four seasons or the buckingham palace (sarcasm) on a dime…but yet and still you “really want to go”..????
no you really really don’t because you’ve built all the bullshyt a!ss reasons not to.
@Princess Duvet, postmodern pwnage
I’m gonna have to agree with nia on this one. I see your point PD, and folks that wildly spend money on other things aside…even with that heathrow sale, it’s just not feasible for some. and i know cause i’m one of those people. Because getting there is only half the battle.
I have many places I want to visit, especially Egypt which has been my obsession since elementary school, but sh!t…a sista got bills and debt to pay down (hello grad school) before I can go traipsing around the world the way I want to. And I don’t think this in any way makes me a person who has no interest in culture or the world as pwnage said though I know there are people who could care less.
But in fact, I’m quite the opposite. I stays asking people about the places they have been, what they learned and should probably have stock in the history channel, discovery channel and tlc for all the shows I watch on there. I love history and cultures and how they make up our world and I fully intend to discover it all and actually experience all the places I want to see but I gotta take care of some stuff at home first before I can go around the world.
@SouthernGirl,
then you are the exception…but if i hear one more chick or dude with the latest louis vuitton or tag heuer (respectively) lookin fresh to death talm bout they can’t afford to go abroad..im gonna gag.
generally there are vast options to international travel (alot of young people stay at youth hostles) some go the B&B route (which are remarkably cheaper than a traditional hotel)…
hopefully when VEG gets back (is she ever coming back?? maybe she can give the full 411 on the variety of international travel). They are out there. I generally think that when people find excuses they just don’t really wanna go…
btw..500 bucks isnt the cheapest rt ticket ive ever seen to europe.
@Princess Duvet,
I’m with you on louis vuitton don. lol. I’ve heard about the youth hostels and but I guess my main thing is when I go, I want to be able to fully enjoy myself and not be on some ‘how to enjoy europe on $3 a day,’ not to say that there aren’t less expensive ways to eat/shop on travel but I don’t want to be down to my last penny or anxious about my financial status when I’m there.
Overall, I would feel financially irresponsible dropping a grand (or any significant amount of money) for a trip to europe when I’m still trying to pay off my computer, that last credit card and make a dent in the albatross that is the cost of my education.
But believe me, the plan is in motion to take care of my finances so I can be free to do the other things in life that I want to do, and travel is one of them. But I’ll definitely have to hit up the queen of travel for some tips. lol.
@SouthernGirl,
anytime you wanna hit up Europe, Ghana or Nigeria, hit me up. Got tons of family and homes that are VACANT because folks be country hopping. I must say that international travel is much easier for those of us who are ‘international’ so I don’t hold that against people. Now if you express absolutely NO desire to EVER travel, then we have a problem.
@SouthernGirl, Princess Duvet
There are MANY ways to cut down on travel costs…. if traveling is really what you want to do.
Nowadays, I have more bank and no time so I end up paying premiums for quickie trips. However, as a student I was on every single site that had some sort of discounts. Site59, StudentUniverse, all that jazz. I had every student discount program known to men.
Granted, with friends (or friends of friends) sprinkled all over the world, housing costs were minimal, but I’ve still met plenty of people who just didn’t know a soul and up and left.
With careful preparation and the will to discover, one can do so much.
In our backpacking tour of Europe, we did sleep in the utmost crazy areas. It made for fun stories afterwards though.
In our backpacking tour of Europe, we did sleep in the utmost crazy areas. It made for fun stories afterwards though.
the hostel flicks have kind of made me cool on the whole “backpacking through europe” thing
@SouthernGirl, I definitely understand your position, as not everyone has access to these opportunities, but I dont think my preference is any less valid than prefering folks who like a certain type of music. Obviously, if a person has a passion for exploring things outside their normal world, I wouldnt judge that person..
but on the whole expense thing, it is really not that expensive. I think that is one of the biggest misconceptions. I think it was mentioned before, but if a person can find the money to club every weekend(im assuming drinks cost money), buy fine clothing, and overall invest their money in other venues, then they really can not cite lack of resources. It really comes down to what interests you. If travelling and seeing the world is your thing, money will not stop you, broke college students do it all the time. There are communities online akin to facebook purely dedicated to hosting travellers. There are hostels. There is a world out there, and while a person is within their rights to not be interested in seeing it, I know I would not get along with said person on a romantic level.
I think it can be a profound experience, and individuals that usually have a passion for this(whether attempted or not) are able to survive in environments unknown to them. I am East African, so if the furthest you’ve been to is baltimore, how can i take you back home to meet the fam? lol…talk about a culture shock… I think if the person is open to the idea, and has aspirations to atleast one day do some travelling, I can respect that. If not, then good for you as well, but we will not work.
I also agree about people who wear this as a badge, as they are insufferable douchebags, but thats with any group of people i guess.
.
@postmodern pwnage,
i wasn’t trying to imply that your preferrence isn’t valid. you like what you like. i was just saying that as stated, you could be ruling out a lot of people over something can be based on other circumstances. someone who doesn’t have a passport can be different in my opinion and is interested in culture/traveling than someone who has no interest in traveling at all. and i think that point has been made on all sides in this thread.
and i very much believe that people find ways to do what they want to do and what i want to do is be debt free by 30–2 years to go, so travel will have to wait. once i handle my business then i can get to the fun. so yeah, lowered costs or not, if i’m not spending $300 on that coach bag i love, i’m not spending it on travel either. and i’m also not clubbing every weekend because that never was my thing or running out to get the latest shoe/purse/whatever every week trying to keep up with kitkatquisha either. but i can see how someone who didn’t have other priorities and was spending gobs of money on other things would not be appealing.
i’m not trying to go overseas and stay in the finest hotel in the land, but i am also not really that keen on backpacking through europe like a broke college student or being hosted by someone i found on facebook and had absolutely no connection to. but that’s just me. lol. now if a friend/family member or somebody could get me in touch with some decent folk a la bbmo above, then i could work with that.
@postmodern pwnage,
I would tend to agree. But as of late I’ve been meeting passport stamp snobs, ie “how many stamps do you have?”, “ie “I’m running out of pages”..ie princess duvet is getting bored with that shat for real for real..particularly when your passport becomes your status symbol (and your analogous beamer or maserati-which btw i hate car snobs too-like what you like-but don’t try and impress me with it)..
at this point i think it would be cool to convince a passport-less stampless man..to come explore with me.
@Princess Duvet,
It’s true that the passport-toting snob is also a turn off. The thing is anything done in contemption is a turn off. If that sole thing is what defines you that you have to constantly talk/brag about it then we have a problem.
I particularly dislike car snobs. Like really? So your car can go o to 60 in XX minutes, uh? But don’t we all have to drive @ 25 miles an hour in the streets anyways?
I don’t know maybe it’s because I would rather have a chauffeur in a Hyundai Accent than drive an expensive car myself… I abhor driving.
@Specialized Sula,
I abhor driving.
We truly must be Kindred. I would rather walk, or bicycle than drive. I’m so serious. People who drive long distances for hours at a time amaze me.
the office(the british version only, ricky gervais is a god) is my litmus test. In short, if a person doesn’t get that subtle, dry humor perfected by the brits, we will not get along.
@postmodern pwnage,
I’m totally with you on this one! I luv, luv, luv Ricky Gervais!
@postmodern pwnage,
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!
Finally, somebody who gets it. The british version of the office was soooooo good, I couldn’t watch more than the first season of the American version. I mean I’ll catch it every now and then, but Ricky Gervais is deliciously so brit in his humor, it’s just not the same.
I feel the same way about Kat and Kim. The Australian version was so irreverent and so funny, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the American version… Especially since I know it will eventually be cancelled. *smh*
@postmodern pwnage,
Are you saying the American version of The Office isn’t good cause saying that would be insane. Kath and Kim is painful to watch. I can’t wait to see what will replace it.
@Deviant,
I don’t think it’s not good, it’s just not as good as the British one. If u watched the British one first then the American one will generally fall short.
@YGB,
I felt the same way about Coupling.
@YGB,
I’ve never seen it and rarely watch the American version (like maybe 1 time all the way through), but I believe u just based on what I know of British television and humor.
@postmodern pwnage,
The Office is my ISH. Have you ever watched Little Britian, it’s like the British version of SNL only raunchier and completely unPC. F**king hysterical.
On a similar yet totally unrelated tangent, I just bought the complete collectors box set of the Black Adder series. Oh My, my heart may just explode from pure joy.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I catch Little Britain when I can. I just love british humor I think. Growing up on Benny Hill.
‘Extras’ was another Ricky Gervais underrated treasure.
@Specialized Sula,
I loved Benny Hill, I wonder if they have a box set out for that. When Benny was on he was really funny, sometimes though, not so much.
What is really disconcerting, in hindsight, is that my mother and I used to watch the show ‘Men Behaving Badly’ together every week, without fail. That junk is raunchy as hell, funny but raunchy.
@Specialized Sula, I love little britian! anyone a fan of flight of the conchords? if not, youtube them like now! lol..they had a hbo show.
@postmodern pwnage,
I didn’t watch the entire season of Flight of the Conchords but the bits and pieces I caught were hilarious.
I love deadpan humor.
hmmm,
Do you like sports?
yes, it is pretty sad that I’ve actually had to ask this question.
and I’ve learned to be weary of men who say no.
@Rita,
There are straight men like that????
@YGB,
Unfortunately, there are straight men like this….
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
wow! learn something new everyday!
@shatani,
yes….and hopefully you will never meet them.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
Yeah I tried to date one last year…it sooo did not work out…lmao!!
@Rita, yeah this is a very important testosterone measuring question. As a sports hater, with the exception of tennis and maybe crew, I NEED FOR A MAN TO LOVE SPORTS. I’ve found in my dating travels that his lack of interest was directly proportional to his estrogen (bitc!h) levels.
@Princess Duvet, “I NEED FOR A MAN TO LOVE SPORTS. I’ve found in my dating travels that his lack of interest was directly proportional to his estrogen (bitc!h) levels.”
I concur!
All I really care about is whether or not the guy likes cats. He could have been to prison for murder, and I’ll give him a chance. But if he doesn’t like cats, he gets the steel-toe boot right off the bat. No passing go, no collecting 200 dollas.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Cats scare me. Always have.
@Suga&Spice,
me too..this is def not my pet of choice.
@Suga&Spice,
scary little creatures those. No sirree cats just won’t do!
@YGB, Suga & Princess
BLASPHEMERS!!
@RedBeanzNRice, im sorry im just being honest with my dust ruffles…
i am thinking about getting a pet..i would be willing to at least test drive a cat..any rent-a-cat places you know of?
@Suga&Spice,
Yup same here. Can’t stand cats. And my experience has shown me that cat people and I don’t get along well…
@Specialized Sula,
You love cat people. You just know it.
It takes a special kind of person to love a cat person. Everyone isn’t up to the task. You are though!
@PBG aka The Notorious C.A.T.,
I believe you.
That cat lady I didn’t like was most likely just a fluke.
She was my mean landlady back then…. so the cats have probably nothing to do with our loveless relationship…. (late payments probably didn’t help.
)
@RedBeanzNRice,
By “cats” do you mean…nevermind, you probably meant actual cats, huh?
@Monk, go sit down somewhere.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I agree w/you on the cat thing. A Cat is feline version of a Diva (Divo). They are the best animals. I love my cat. And my cat tattoo. Mmmhmm.
@PBG,
Preach Sista!! And they’re oh so clean, too! Gotta love an animal that’s constantly cleaning itself. And smart! My cat can actually open doors – but he never goes in my room cause he knows better. *cheezin all hard like a proud cat mama*
@RedBeanzNRice,
you know, i’ve actually grown to appreciate the cat. the cat. in all of its wisdom, evil, subtleness has become my favorite domesticated animal. i’m a fan of the cat
@The Champ,
Thank you, Champ. I am not feeling all this feline hate today.
Neither are Sampson, Delilah and Rufus (the official VSB.com fictitious feline fans).
@The Champ,
And that Sir Champ is yet another of the many reasons I heart you! A wise man you are, yes indeedy!
@The Champ,
Somehow I get the feeling that u’re not talking about the feline kind of cat!
@YGB,
actually i am. although i’d never own a cat, and still occasionally fancy kicking them when i’m hungry, i’ve grown to admire them. they’re interesting little evil beasts
@YGB,
I was under the same exact impression.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I’m sorry Cats are just way to scary and sneaky to me.
Like their just waiting to claw out your eyeballs while you sleep.
naw,I pass on the cats.
and guys with little dogs.
@Rita,
Ditto. I guess its okay if a man likes cats, but if he HAS one Im outtie. Thats a little too feminine for me.
@Dom,
I have to take offense. I don’t have a cat, but cats seem to be at ease around me.
I’ve had cats that won’t go near anyone, come and sit in my lap.
I’m goin to get a cat, a dog, and a boa constrictor (my Dad had one when I was younger, I was fascinated) once I finished grad school.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I kick cats with steel toed boots
@Deviant,
Wow. That’s sad.
@pgh muse,
I don’t care for cats. My mom is terrified of cats so I spent my childhood keeping them far away from her using any means necessary.
@Deviant,
The imagery. Poor kitties.
@Deviant,
U’re a good son! I want 1 just like u!
@Deviant, There is a special place in Hades reserved for you & people like you. How could you even joke about harming such an awesome animal?
@PBG,
As far as my mom is concerned there is a special place in heaven reserved for me cause I kept that nasty animal away from her. Eff cats. Cats everywhere should be glad I didnt get her the pistol she wanted just to buss on cats. I thought that was a lil too much.
I would hate to think of myself as a soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophile LOL. I only watched this show if my then boyfriend was looking at it. I like the way that the show was shot. Very real and very gritty. But it was extremely violent. And there wasn’t anyone on the show who reminded me of me. Given the fact that I don’t have time to watch much Tv, I like shows that resonate in a way whereby i can relate, ie “the starter wife”, “girlfriends”, “will and grace”….I’m thinking little wayward wild a!ss kids or the bmore police department…not so much.
Anywhoo on to my litmus questions:
1. What are you really passionate about? I’m big on passion. A real pet peeve are men either who don’t have it or the ones who interpret my question to be of a sex@ual nature. Those who don’t have passion; end up with these woe is me stories when life “stops working for them”. Not a good look when the going sometimes gets rough for dudes who just like to get by.
2. (This is a date 4 or 5 question) What do you think about me? …”you aight” is not the correct answer LOL.
3. What do you do for fun? I actually had a guy tell me recently..”I watch TV”…this is a FAIL. Men who stay their as!ses glued to their couch are akin to idiot savant sex offenders. There’s a whole big world out there to explore. Naturally curious men to me are very engaging and no how to hit the off button on my self-diagnosed A.D.D.
@Princess Duvet,
but dang, what if you just aight??? lol
@shatani,
on the 4th date??? Im sorry a man should be able to kind of articulate why it is he keeps asking you out, ie what he finds attractive about you. You aight aint cuttin it on date 4.
@Princess Duvet,
And there wasn’t anyone on the show who reminded me of me.
what about brianna barksdale? she was the queen of the wet blanket and sh*t, so maybe you could find some similiarities there.
@The Champ,
re Brianna Barksdale..i just caught some youtubes and hbo’s wardrobe choices for her are rather depressing. She gets an F for fabulous.
I’ll pass on her.
@Princess Duvet,
I dont think being fabulous was a priority
@Princess Duvet,
I totally agree with you regarding passionate men… hell I just love passionate people. I love art, in almost any form, and I am terribly expressive. If a man has n0 passion or desire to express said passion (sometimes they lie), I am not there very long.
Litmus tests…blah. I do assessments. I watch everything and have casual conversations, if dude has any sense at all, he knows I’m judging him. Not much gets past me and if I don’t call again, he should know that he bopped too hard to the wrong song, didn’t get a literary reference I made or wore a color that didn’t sync w/my aura that day.
@PBG,
“or wore a color that didn’t sync w/my aura that day.”
LMAO! Oh damn!
@PBG,
Miss Lady, you know what’s funny to me? Everytime I see your name I always think “Peanut Butter & Grape jelly”. And you HATE peanut butter. I don’t know exactly why that’s funny, but it is. : ) It’s ironic an sh*t.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Peanut Butter=Satan’s Sandwich Spread.
I can’t.
I won’t.
I shan’t.
@PBG aka The Notorious C.A.T.,
Awww, no peanut butter for you Ms. PBG? Ok, how about some Nutella? Is Nutella cool?
Mine would probably be do you like football? (not kidding)
Or when did you first fall in love with hip-hop? (kidding!!!!)
“soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophiles”
I quit this piece!!! I just can’t.
@miss t-lee,
Or when did you first fall in love with hip-hop? (kidding!!!!)
you know what, despite my hip-hop headedness, i could be with someone who wasn’t into hip-hop at all. in fact, i’d rather be with someone who wasn’t into hip-hop than a chick who’s into BAD hip-hop, lol
@The Champ,
I was seeing this dude once and I knew it wasn’t gonna work out when he didn’t understand my affinity for Dark Man X.
After having stimulating conversation regarding stimulus packages, world travel, literature, and hip-hop, my litmus tests are…
1. Do you have any pets? Now, don’t get me wrong, cats and dogs can be cute, but I have an aversion to a dogs and cats rubbing against me or climbing in my lap. And, if he loves his dog, then he has probably done that nose rubbing, face nuzzle thing dog owners do, and I really don’t get down with that.
2. What type of movies do you like to watch? I have broad tastes in movies, from HP to All About Eve. If he has only seen movies starring Morris Chestnut, Omar Epps, Ice Cube, Megan Goode, Taye Diggs, or any other young black actor that may have been in a B-movie in the past 10 years, then he is a no go.
3. Do you watch college football? There’s only one answer….
4. Are you a Michigan fan? This is non-negotiable. I bleed Scarlet & Gray!!!
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
4. Are you a Michigan fan? This is non-negotiable. I bleed Scarlet & Gray!!!
there seems to be a ton of ohio state and michigan fans on vsb. hmmm, maybe i need to sort who’s who before i make the seating arrangements for the vsb bbq.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
4. Are you a Michigan fan? This is non-negotiable. I bleed Scarlet & Gray!!!
Thank You!! As an OSU Alum I COMPLETELY agree
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
#2. One of my pet peeves are people who say they won’t a watch a movie for no other reason than it has subtitles. Anyone who says this gets the blank stare I usually reserve for Neo-Nazis, necrophilliacs and fans of Tyler Perry productions.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
“#2. One of my pet peeves are people who say they won’t a watch a movie for no other reason than it has subtitles. ”
^5 some of the best films ever made have “little words under them”…ie the lives of others..and now slumdog.
As a native Baltimoreian, I am rather offended by #2!! All Balimore Broad are NOT crazy. We are not! NOT!
**Going to sit in the corner and shoot Champ some nasty stare daggers*
@Suga&Spice,
Baltimore native, huh??
You have my deepest sympathies.
word of advice: the next time you’re trying to convince someone that you’re not crazy, try not to have the words “shoot”, “nasty”, and “corner” in your next sentence.
@Suga&Spice,
You’re right. My half sis grew up in B-more and she’s as sweet and cute as can be. Of course she DID move after she graduated high school and never looked back. LOL!
As a side note, when you try to vehemently convince people that you’re not crazy, you end up looking crazi-ER. Lol. But I feel you.
Part of my comprehensive ‘relationship potential’ assessment:
Can you appropriately use Jigga lyrics in everyday conversation? Can you identify when I use them? This means you are up on your music game, potentially have good taste and can keep up with my mental gymnastics. There IS a Jay-Z line for all situations
What is your passion? (Appropriate answers include music, art, literature, a sport, your career. Answers that will get you nexted include Madden (loser) and non-specific social justice or “consciousness” (pretientious panty chasing a-hole)
Do you like cartoons (not including Family Guy, Boondocks, Simpsons- those BETTER go without saying)? An answer in the affirmative means you are light hearted with a capacity for goofiness that I find totally HAWT. You also have the potential to be a good dad, because you are a kid at heart. Also, cartoons are my preferred TV of choice. Don’t judge me.
Do you love Star Wars? Yes is the only acceptable answer. This is my ‘kink’. Bonus points for answering in Yoda Speak and being able to quote a line from each episode. Automatic panties if you own a spin off of the franchise (I.e. Blue Harvest, Robot Chicken Wars, Spaceballs).
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
Bonus points for answering in Yoda Speak and being able to quote a line from each episode.
***filed under “things that would give michael scott an erection”***
@blackberry molasses on her Crackberry,
“non-specific social justice or “consciousness” (pretientious panty chasing a-hole)”
Say dat, say dat!!
***rushes up to put a dollar on the pulpit***
“There IS a Jay-Z line for all situations”
I see, I said.
@8th Wonder,
nobody’s built like champ, i designed myself
See, now I’m warm and fuzzy. Come here and sh*t.
@8th Wonder,
mh mh mh like my hush puppies. lol
@8th Wonder,
no
Aww baby, don’t be insecure because you couldn’t seal the deal last time!
You had a lot on your mind and sh*t.
*hands you a twinkie*
Work with those lil Debbies, and when you done, get ready.
@The Champ,
But thats old school to the new school, they doing numbers like sudoku!!!! DAMN
my litmus tests hm my ultimate fun time that I wouldn’t mind having a chick share w/ me. hmm. I can’t call it I can’t even think strait. It’s my b-day and I got hella meetings today.
@WuDaMan,
happy bday wu wu
@Princess Duvet, Preciate it Duvet Destroyer.
@WuDaMan,
WuWu ..you’re such the gracious aquarian..acknowledging everyone’s well wish directly.
@Princess Duvet,
Hecks yeah my Mama is from The South. She said I have what they call a servants hart and an old soul. Plus I’m an Aquarian. I love to love and get loved on (it’s the secret to life no deoderant.)
@WuDaMan,
HAPPY BORN DAY!!!!
LOTS of February Birthdays around these parts.
@Suga&Spice, Thanks I like you especially when I’m hungry. Sugars n Spices n food n shyt. Dag I’m hungry.
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday, Wu!
@PBG, Preciate it Sugar Bear!)
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday Wu!!
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., Good lookin out 1982 a good year for me n U yo Mama and yo cousin too…
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday dude!!
@Monk,
The only thing that could make it better would be if I could do a cameo spot. I won’t even need to be costumed up. I’ll put on my vsb t n some swap meet ice till I turn green. nah just playin but thanks man it means a lot.
@WuDaMan,
Happy Bday Wu! U get them pics???
@pgh muse,
Yes I did TY. I’ll holla n TY some more for the b-day wishes.
@WuDaMan,
HAPPY BIRTHAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now I feel even worse about the Friday night madness… oh yeah, and the flat tire I had when I got back on the Jersey side.
@blackberry molasses,
Ah w/ the feeling bad this is a celebration. Celebration recognize the celebratory I was glad to see some of yo celebratory speakeasy style.
@WuDaMan,
Okay, over feeling bad. Though you still have an apple dessert of your choice a-comin.
Let the Spray Dance COMMENCE!!!!
**ladies, get yo dollas!!**
@blackberry molasses,
Awwwe yeah!) *gettin really low, like he nevuh did bfo, only cuz he ole…*
@WuDaMan,
happy b-day and sh*t
@The Champ,
Yes it’s becoming a happy birthday and I will remain regular. (just had a granola laden fruit n yogurt parfait) yeah around 5 tonight watch out.
@WuDaMan, GROSS. your facebook dance has been canceled.
@miss patterson, dang! Well why waste a beer skol.
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday Mr. Wu! May your day be very feminine!
@RedBeanzNRice,
*I’m confrused* if you mean I get lots of cakes n goodies and sit around w/ drinks all da time. I’ll take it. lol Thanks for the birthday wishes.
@WuDaMan,
Happy B-day!
@Jenna Marie Christian,
Thanks Jenna. I been wondering if you could motivate my boss into getting me a raise? Just playin thanks for the wishes too.
@WuDaMan,
lol…lol…anything is possible… I could try to “encourage” him/her to do so
@Jenna Marie Christian,
actually just 40 more minutes and we may be good.
@WuDaMan,
why didn’t you take the day off? hope your meetings go quickly and that no one makes you want to snatch them.
happy birthday!!! *birthday gold stars*
@SouthernGirl,
Cum to think of it I been wantin to snatch some… Ah nevuh mind. Thanks for the b-day wishes. *waves wildly*
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday to my newest fb friend! Hope you have lots of champagne and cake!
@Dom,
I’m w/ that lets get drunk n get money! It’s a celebration! Thank you.
*Hands you two slices of Wonder Bread*
Enjoy it, Wu Boo!
@8th Wonder,
enjoy it!?!? I have hired Spike lee and the people who do bullet time to film this for me. And the guy who does the voice overs for the archived football games. he is both narating and coming up with a trailer for this. bottom line I getting a new tuck me in video and it’s got ocho pan passing me 2 slices of bread. from the wonder bread bag. then… *censored for sensative readers*. Thanks for the happy wishes.
Oh my!
lol
@8th Wonder,
more like… oh yeah!
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday WudaMan!!
Many, many, many more happy years to ya.
And may those meetings end quickly.
@Specialized Sula,
Okay I don’t know why but I want the mamie outfit some kind of cake caramel or apples need to be involved. & I got to ride a horse to the house for some beef stew a widescrene of football and… *clears throat* Thanks for the birthday wishes.
@WuDaMan,
Your wish(es) is (are) the mamie’s command(s).
@Specialized Sula,
Aight grab this mike. It’s kareoke time. lol since this is Specialized Sula. or do you wanna hit the stick lil wii battle or something.
@WuDaMan,
Happy Birthday!
The monkeys made the fruit salad the best way they know how to…
@Poison Ivy St.,
wait does that mean that they ate some fruit that they didn’t want and instead of spitting it out they projecile pooed @ a particular spot??? *burried face smh* Thanks for the b-day wishes. OMG.
@WuDaMan, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WUDA! now i’m going to dance all over your facebook page.
@miss patterson,
aaaaa hahahaaha not w/ out me jukin w/ you. lol Thanks so much can’t wait to turn up this 8.5%abv ‘monkey knife fight’ in your honor.
@WuDaMan,
Okay I’m thinking of some things. Is obtuse, greedy w/ me, doesn’t like comedy, n food I may even add science then, cecks, church, music awe shoot. I need a workshop to do this right. I watch how they treat they friends cuz I’m next. Isn’t city n field contented.
Upon my recent return to Philadelphia, I had the unfortunate experience of going on a date with a woman who expressed her disgust for Dave Chappelle, The Chappelle Show, and Jay-Z all in one sentence.
That was the last time I saw her.
@Cornell Westside,
What the shyt?! Where did you find her? I can’t believe a woman like that exists. Was she in her 50s???
@Cornell Westside,
We TALKED about this… stop finding your JO’s at ___________ (fill in the blank)!!!!!!
@blackberry molasses,
We did talk about this, and I found the ultimate remedy for wack byches…Playstation 3.
…and the empty blank above is “Philadelphia Metropolitan Area” I already have voiced my disdain for the women of this area.
@Cornell Westside,
Dude, where did you find this woman?
@Cornell Westside,
wooooooooow. i’m sorry.
@Cornell Westside,
Ummm….wow, this is unfortunate. Was she a modern day puritan? That was the only way I could account for her loathing of Chappelle and humor in general.
Do you like the Wire?
Not only do I like it, my brother has been in a few episodes. I like my waffles a little crispy. I’ll buy the syrup. Thanks.
But seriously, if a guy tells me he’s not really in to books, it’s a wrap. The only way he can redeem himself is if he gets the majority of my movie, TV, or music references. I have a tendency to randomly spit out quotes and if a guy doesn’t get them, he won’t understand me.
@Voiceofreason,
Not only do I like it, my brother has been in a few episodes. I like my waffles a little crispy. I’ll buy the syrup. Thanks.
no need for that. i have many syrups in my kitchen
@The Champ,
Lol! A syrup assortment??? That’s beautiful.
@The Champ,
Freak.
(and by “freak,” I mean ***swoon***)
@Voiceofreason,
who’s your bro?? you’re from Pgh right?? if so i think i know who you’re talking about…
@Gem-nastics,
I’m from Pgh, but my bro (half bro) grew up in B-more.
oh ok. nm.
@Gem-nastics,
I know who ur talm ’bout, Gemmie.
@Gem-nastics,
get a room
@The Champ and Gem and VOR and other Pgh Vsbers,
So when r we gonna have drink night?
@pgh muse,
I’m game. Where?
@pgh muse,
If anyone comes up with a time, date and location for drink night I’ll be there. I gotta put some faces to these names! Not to mention I think you’ve all met each other and I feel left out.
@Voiceofreason, you know what’s fun? if you live in a hoodish neighborhood. to just yell out pandemic out the window. my neighbor and i used to do this.
who’s yr brother? puhlease tell me.
@miss patterson,
My bro had a couple small speaking roles. He was an extra in a bar. And then he played a drug dealer whose Escalade was getting towed. A few episodes after that I think he was snitchin about somethin. Lol.
@miss patterson,
@Voiceofreason, you know what’s fun? if you live in a hoodish neighborhood. to just yell out pandemic out the window. my neighbor and i used to do this.
***inserting more people for ms p’s pandemic proclamation***
@The Champ, i’ve done it. ask gigi. “WMDs!!!”
lol. This made me chuckle… but I had an interesting weekend, and I have to offer this:
If a man tries to “son” me on our first date it’s a definite wrap. I appreciate anyone who is successful. But if you’re running your resume within the first 25 minutes of our date in attempt to one up me and we’re just getting to know each other – that is a HUGE turn off. Be easy. I don’t think talking about work is bad, it’s actually a good conversation piece, but being a prick is NOT good. eff u and ur credentials.
@pgh muse, “if you’re running your resume within the first 25 minutes of our date in attempt to one up me and we’re just getting to know each other – that is a HUGE turn off.”
Why do guys do this??? It’s not attractive. I had a guy do this weekend while I was watching a basketball game with some friends. He just kept talking and talking about his job.
@Leila, I hate that too. I met a guy who did that as soon as I met him. He will forever get the side eye from me. When I first meet a guy, his pedigree and yearly salary don’t mean shyt to me, if they ever do at all.
@PBG,
Usually when guys do this they’re just nervous (cause you’re pretty) and trying to hard to impress. I still tease a friend of mine about this and how he was stammering off his stats when we first met.
@Dom,
I think that it can be forgivable if he makes an effort to redeem himself and turns into an actual human being that is worthy of conversation. If he’s just a prick and thinks that all he has to do is read off his alphabets… mba, jd, phd, md (i’ve never dated an md but them too) and he’s in there then boooo to him. This dude was a lame and is prolly paying a quarter of what he brings in every month in student loans ne way.
- What’s your passion/hobby? (If the guy lists none/video games/chillen then we’re done. Guys who don’t have a passion/hobby are really boring)
- Do you like college basketball? (The only good answer is yes and bonus points for liking Syracuse and points deducted for being a Duke fan)
I like to test guys on how open they are to trying new foods. I love all types of food, especially Thai, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, etc. so if they give me the disgusted look and refuse to try them, then we’re done…
@Leila, “I like to test guys on how open they are to trying new foods. I love all types of food, especially Thai, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, etc. so if they give me the disgusted look and refuse to try them, then we’re done…
I’m the same way. Automatic turn off if he thinks fried rice and chicken wings from the Chinese take-out consists of great international cuisine. I’m a vegetarian, and a guy asking me do I eat fish is an automatic turn-off. When did fish become members of the plant kingdom?
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
“I’m a vegetarian, and a guy asking me do I eat fish is an automatic turn-off. When did fish become members of the plant kingdom?”
Most of the “vegeterians” I know eat fish/seafood. I’ve noticed that the word “vegeterian” has a lot of interpretations. Some folks claim to be veggies just because they don’t eat pork or red meat.
@Voiceofreason,
Most of the “vegeterians” I know eat fish/seafood. I’ve noticed that the word “vegeterian” has a lot of interpretations. Some folks claim to be veggies just because they don’t eat pork or red meat.
i was about to type the same thing.
@Voiceofreason,
People seem to interpret it the way that best suits their current situation. I’ve never heard anyone claim to be a vegetarian just b/c the don’t eat pork or red meat. That’s interesting…and weird….
@Voiceofreason,
Those are pescatarians-they eat fish and seafood. Ovo-lacto vegetarians eat dairy and eggs, they are the largest group of vegetarians. Then they’re vegans ,like me, who don’t eat anything that is animal based, ie no dairy, eggs, honey, gelatin containing products, anything with caisenates blah, blah, blah.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
You know your ish! More people should be like you and do some research.
@Leila,
“I like to test guys on how open they are to trying new foods. I love all types of food, especially Thai, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, etc. so if they give me the disgusted look and refuse to try them, then we’re done…”
BIG OLE CO-SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t take people who are not open to new experiences… especially food-wise. I know guy who only eats hamburgers, french fries, potatoes and ice cream (I am sad for his arteries). And he’s from Dominica!!!!! Tha huh?! He got nexted so fast his head spun!
If your entire menu of foods you eat can only fill 2 sides of a 3X5 index card, you NEED to rethink your life… while walking out of mine.
@blackberry molasses,
I taste all kinds of foods. That’s how I know I hate so many.
I must admit though, sometimes I am way more than just weird about food: I just realized the other day why I don’t like Girl Scout Cookies, despite the fact that I have never eaten one in my entire life.
I don’t like the packaging.
@Leila,
The food thing is definitely a good one.
Unfortunately, I tend to date picky eaters… and I usually don’t like picky eaters!
My biggest relationship litmus test would be are you passionate about music? Anyone who’s not a fan of music truly has no soul. Extra points if you’re a fan of old school hip hop and gangsta rap. Something ’bout a woman who can recite 2nd II None or Geto Boys lyrics as well as Big Daddy Kane songs that weren’t specificly geared towards women.
@Monk,
Anyone who’s not a fan of music truly has no soul.
i agree. i really cant fathom how someone can not be into any type of music at all. the thought of it unnerves and depresses me
@The Champ,
Are there really people like this…who doesn’t like some type of music?
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982…., I only met one person who was like this. She told me that her religion forbids her from listening to music. I felt so sad for her. The thought is so depressing. I can’t even imagine my life without music.
@Leila,
what religion is this?!!!!!!! (look of deep concern)
@blackberry molasses,
I gotta know too…
@miss t-lee, I can’t remember the name. She came to visit a friend of mine from Atlanta.
@blackberry molasses,
The Church of soul-less hemophiliac viking pedophiles!
@blackberry molasses,
sidenote: am i the only one who, after hearing a person tell me about their religious practices, has been tempted to say “damn. your religion is some bullshit”?
i guess youre not supposed to judge about things like that, but…f*ck it. i judge.
@The Champ,
sidenote: am i the only one who, after hearing a person tell me about their religious practices, has been tempted to say “damn. your religion is some bullshit”?
No.
@N.I.A. fabuloussince1982….,
Yes they are.
I know plenty.
man the wire…..made me homesick….in all the good bad / ways….
back when i *was* datin…..
1. if the woman had pets….out
2. if she smoked….out
3. if she drank…..out
4. if she had…kids…..out…( yeah..I’m like that ) read lazy as hell
5. if you asked me to help you move any way shape or how…out
other than that….i could deal…well sorta…
@KingPine, Damn Pet hater
@Tasty Kake215,
*wounded*
i just don’t like cleanin after them….PLUS i like to roll when i want to roll….
do not get me started lol
@KingPine,
You hate pets and children. Hmmm.
Are you just a basket of sunshine and glitter?
@PBG,
How you get me hatin on kids???
Now I do hate changin some diapers…..
I’m doin my best to rise above my inherent assness….( this is a recent revelation – a painful one too )
@KingPine,
Ummmmmm…1, 4, and 5 can be attributed to laziness. You mean to tell me if you’re dating a woman and she asks for help moving you have a problem with that? FYI, a MAJOR litmus test for a lot of women is determining whether or not a man is willing to help with things commonly deemed “man things.” Like lifting heavy objects, changing tires, taking out trash.
Side note: I almost fell in love in college when a friend came over and offered to take out the trash everytime he left my apt. That move got him several passes to come over and do his laundry and get free food.
@Voiceofreason,
I’m tellin you…I broke up with a woman…when she asked me to help her move….swear she had more stuff than the law allowed….phatness be DAMNED
At that phase in my life i just wasn’t tryin to have more to do…. that was all.
@KingPine,
I bet you weren’t feeling her all that much. If you were, I’m sure you would have helped.
@KingPine,
So, have you always had an unnatural attraction to Mormons, or did it develop later in life? Please expound.
@Nikiloveli,
lol nah..I just know my limits…..nothin more or less….
Experience is a hell of a teacher….
@KingPine,
As the rest of the women on this thread I am deeply concerned for your apparent CDD (Chronic Dry Dack)
Because you have to be suffereing from an extreme case by now considering you will basically NEXT 90% of women.
@blackberry molasses,
CDD (Chronic Dry Dack)
This is hilarious!
@blackberry molasses,
Is it really 90% of women though? I don’t know… There are a lot of girls out there who don’t drink nor smoke. They don’t have children and they live with their parents so there is no need to move.
I think KingPine might just be alright.
@Specialized Sula,
Levity, thy name is NOT Sula….
girl, it was a JOKE!
@blackberry molasses,
Where is the humor around these parts. If you re-read (very carefully and slowly), you might realize that the reply in and of itself was a joke.
But it’s monday, so I get it.
@Specialized Sula,
d@mn right its monday, and that was BEFORE i had my afternoon caffiene fix.
@blackberry molasses,
but i’m better now… lack of sleep and caffiene can do that to a coffee addict.
@Specialized Sula,
“There are a lot of girls out there who don’t drink nor smoke. They don’t have children and they live with their parents so there is no need to move.”
Please feel free to add that the majority of these females are probably 11 years old!
@YGB,
Let’s keep R Kelly outta this discussion….
@YGB,
And therein was the joke.
(notice capitalized words. Thanks much
)
I chuckled the first go-round, lol.
@Specialized Sula,
Is it really 90% of women though? I don’t know… There are a lot of girls out there who don’t drink nor smoke. They don’t have children and they live with their parents so there is no need to move.
i was tempted to say the same thing. we all got standards and sh*t. those just happen to be his.
@The Champ,
Thanks for getting it The Champ.
@blackberry molasses,
i am touched….got me all misty eyed n shit…damn…
The Queen does her best takes care of business…..
My list was pre broom jump…y’know?!
Yall gonna make me go dig up some Millie Jackson…..
@KingPine,
Pets are a deal breaker?!?!?
Odd because a guy that doesn’t pass the “gets along with cats test,” has to go. Strangely though, most men I’ve dated or been interested in have been severely allergic to cats. hmmm
I had bootleg premium cable for a little while was able to enjoy The Wire briefly. I recently caught the entire series dvd set on sale on amazon so now I will be able to enjoy it in it’s full glory!
Anyway my litmus test includes:
1) Can you drive a stick? Maybe this is because I’m from the country but I just get a bad feeling about men my age that can’t drive a stick.
2) Ditto 24. Jack Bauer is the shyt.
@sweetTea,
1) Can you drive a stick? Maybe this is because I’m from the country but I just get a bad feeling about men my age that can’t drive a stick.
***removing self off of sweettea’s potential jump-off list***
@sweetTea,
“Can you drive a stick?”
If I ask a guy this question and he responds with, “I can learn,” I’ll be satisfied with his answer. He may not be able to drive one, but he can quote Boyz in the Hood. Lol!
@Voiceofreason,
When guys ask me this I tell them I don’t know how to drive a standard.
But, I KNOW how to drive a stick though.
Let it marinate a bit.
*sniggle*
@miss t-lee,
e-triplet…..
your misbehavior is about to get you a one way ticket to the Corner
@blackberry molasses,
Tee-hee.
@miss t-lee,
It’s the knowledge of the film, not the context in which the line was used in the film.
Ya’ll diggin too deep!!!
@Voiceofreason,
I know…my bad…lol
She said diggin too deep
hehehe.
@8th Wonder,
Ha ha ha.
I’m feelin’ like a kindergartner right now…. playing *point out the naughty word*.
@Voiceofreason,
Hmm, I’m not sure about that one. In the context that it was used in the movie, I’m not sure if I would want him quoting that particular line.
@nia,
Hahaha! I just meant that I can appreciate movie knowledge.
@sweetTea,
“Can you drive a stick? Maybe this is because I’m from the country but I just get a bad feeling about men my age that can’t drive a stick.”
I might look at you sideways, but I can almost deal with you not being able to drive a stick. Some folks are just city like that. But all bets are off when you start making lame innuendoes about my being able to drive one.
***crying and typing bc me and Champ will never have a chance. I don’t like the Wire **** LOL
1. What do you do? (if he says he’s in the studio RAPPING, he’s out).
2. How many children do you have? (more than 2, will get you axed)
3. What is the last book that you read?
4. How do you feel about church? (if you say it’s for hypocrites, you’re out.)
@Nicki Sunshine,
***crying and typing bc me and Champ will never have a chance. I don’t like the Wire **** LOL
question: being that you’re soulless, what do you use to fill up the space where your soul would be?
popcorn? shampoo? pillows? advil?
i’m curious…please lemme know and sh*t
@The Champ, I fill it up with Patron and good shows, like The Office.
***sticks out tongue ****
@Nicki Sunshine,
1.What do you do? (if he says he’s in the studio RAPPING, he’s out).
This made me snort while laughing for some reason. I went to a school that was known for their strong Jazz/Voice program for my undergrad, and 87.6% of the student population was in some sort of band. Rock , prog , trip-hop, hip-hop, ska, punk, indie folk, name a genre of music and there was a fool out there with that band. I got the ‘I’m an artist/musical savant/rockstar/hip-hop god’ response alot. The really sad thing is that 93% of these bands were the musical version of water torture.
@ofloveandotherdemons, “The really sad thing is that 93% of these bands were the musical version of water torture.”
LMAO @ this… some folks believe that just because u do something, that makes you an expert at your craft. LOL. I draw, (and I kinda suck) but that doesn’t make me an artist.
My question would have to be:
1. Last/favorite book read?
If the answer is I don’t really read, he’s prob outta here. (unless he’s too busy saving kittens n doesn’t get a chance to read.)
2. Do/haved you smoke?
3. Do you like dogs?
Can’t trust a man who has never smoke p()t or can’t stand dogs… no exceptions.
@Tasty Kake215,
so basically you’re looking for silent bob?
@Tasty Kake215,
Yeah number 2 is just as important as one’s credit score, looks, religious beliefs, etc . . .
co-sign
Btw – as a fellow 215er (west philly born & raised at the weed spot is where I spent most of my days . . ) I just wanted to say I love the screen name
@eff yo couch,
Speaking of Philly folk…. group drank any day?!?! I’m available whenever… almost.
@blackberry molasses,
vsb.com: where alcohol “problems” happen
@The Champ,
I don’t have an alcohol problem… I handle my tequila very well, thank you.
@blackberry molasses,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now you want to invite me out for drinks, after yall treated me like a step child on Friday, lol
@eff yo couch,
Ay! No one told you to go to NYC Friday night… and since I don’t have your moniker on gchat or FB, its KINDA HARD to get at you, dawg.
But anyway… my bad.
@eff yo couch,
4 reals dude I got so excited my weekend was starting up already I didn’t even think o U till I got there plus it was a bit of a all o a sudden move. My bad cuz.
@WuDaMan,
I know it was nothing personal, just pass my info (fb/myspace) on to Blackberry Molasses
@eff yo couch,
cool I’m on it no purp.
I own the box set of the complete series of The Wire. (I am awesome). Upon purchasing this box I sold my old seasons 1 thru 5 to my cousin for 65 and a quarter sack so he had a Valentines present for his girl. I believe in giving back to the fam as well as sharing the wealth…but I wasn’t giving for free
my litmus test
How do you feel about:
Video Games
I will spend considerable amounts of time with my PS3. If you don’t like to play screw you. My level of commitment is such that I went half on a PS3 with a woman (now she is a keeper). They should make a song about that eff a baby.
Grimlock & Devastator:
You don’t have to love them but if you demerit me for letting him sit on my computer desk I will piss on your dreams. ( I embraced my geek years ago.) P.S. I like Transformers. I still have some. I am now living my childhood dream of having these two sitting on my shelf while a woman walks around my house in her skivvies daily. Life is good.
House, The Wire, South Park:
If you don’t like these 3 shows you have serious issues in your life. Go run in traffic. No one likes you anyway.
What music do you like?
I’m VERY particular about music. I can tolerate people listening to stuff I think lame and/or pure sh!t to a degree but if you don’t recognize the sheer greatness of the music I choose to listen to you should just kill yourself.
examples
M.O.P. – Cold as Ice. This song is effing awesome. Its mandatory that you like this.
Black Moon – You must like Black Moon. I can give u a slight pass if you don’t like the rest of BCC (slight, cause I’ll still think you suck but I’ll still bone you) but if you don’t like Buckshot, Evil Dee and 5 Ft you’re just stupid.
Parliament is the sh!t. You cannot dispute this. If you haven’t heard of them or their music I’ll assume you were frozen for 50 years like Captain America or something.
Honestly if you don’t share my appreciation for the music I like I will probly just think you’re slow and wont respect you. Its that serious.
My girl sang Lodi Dodi when it came one the radio last night word for word. That made my dik hard. I was gonna show it to her but I was driving. Is that bad?
@Deviant,
*side eye* @ you using the excuse of driving as a reason for not showing your girl your swollen member after she just rapped La-Di-Da-Di. Do you know what kinda breath control that requires?? Geesh.
@PBG,
I know but after you have ridden around for a considerable amount of time without a valid L you become reluctant to take any driving risks. I rode around for about 2 years with no license. Its hard to shake that mindset of “I’ll go to jail if I get pulled over” even with a valid L. You may be surprised at the amount of people that get away with this everyday.
@Deviant,
Its hard to shake that mindset of “I’ll go to jail if I get pulled over” even with a valid L. You may be surprised at the amount of people that get away with this everyday.
This made me laugh. I wouldn’t b surprised. Half the people i know drive everyday with no license…
@pgh muse,
most everyone I knew at the time had some kind of serious driving infraction where they were a step away from cuffs. We all drove like we had a pound of coke in the trunk and a heater in the glove.
@Deviant,
I can relate…. I mean ummm not me errr uhhh, but i know what ur talm ’bout.
@pgh muse,
I wont snitch on you
@ Deviant,
LOL!! It’s not me (pinky swear wit my fingers crossed lmao) and neway snitches get stitches and end up in ditches… ;-p
@Deviant,
I am glad to know I am not alone. I got the liscence. Insurance, not so much.
@Dom,
insur-what?
@Deviant,
LOL Xactly! Man, it feels good to get that off my chest. Its my dirty little secret.
@ All the Illegal Drivers
WTF man (and women)?!?!?!
That’s why MY premiums are so high! Having to subsidze y’all unlicensed/un-insured/under-insured mofos….well, that and I live in NJ.
@blackberry molasses,
Word.Life!!
@blackberry molasses,
sucks to be you
@Deviant,
Hahahahahahaha!!!!
This whole thread is funny and SO true!!
Grimlock was the sh*t…
@AkShone,
of course. Grimlock was king. My cousins said I should go ahead and get the whole set of Dinobots. One is mad at me cause I don’t want to get the reissue of the original Optimus Prime
@Deviant,
I think Jetfire, Shockwave, and Megatron were the best as far as toys. Jetfire would be my favorite. Back in the day you were the man if you had all of the Constructicons.
@Humble_One,
oooooo
I got Megatron packed up in a box in the closet.
Ya know, I really liked Transformers the movie, but I hated that they made Megatron an alien fighter plane. Megatron is the quintessential evil nemesis and the fact that he transformed into a pistol made him that much more gangsta.
Jetfire was ill. I remember when Robo-tech jacked Jetfire’s whole steez. Robo-tech was just a fleet of bootleg Jetfires…d@mn, I sound nerdy.
*Now thinking of ways to re-establish my gangsta…*
@AkShone,
*Now thinking of ways to re-establish my gangsta…*
Sorry… its as good as GONE. Embrace your inner Urkel. Bust out the pocket protector, high waisted high waters and two-toned wingtips with tube socks.
@Deviant,
“That made my dik hard”
the anatomical one?
@Princess Duvet,
there is another kind of dik?
@Deviant,
it depends..(self censored)
@Princess Duvet,
I’m lost but I’m not sure I want an explanation
@Deviant,
See, I can do this. But the Hubs has absolutely no appreciation for this whatsoever. He also refused to take me to see Rakim in concert. Hmm…
@Nikiloveli,
I am sad for you
@Nikiloveli,
I’m sad also…
I have a few litmus tests I like to put a guy through. Its not necessarily a deal breaker but if Im already unsure about you and you fail these tests then Ive pretty much made my mind up.
1. Do you drink beer?
I love a man that drinks beer. I love dive bars which means that often times when Im out I will have a beer just because. So I cant see myself having a beer and you’re snubbing your nose at it. Its such a masculine thing and to me and I dont know how Id feel if I had to date a man that didnt drink beer.
2. If you’re hanging out at my house and you go into my kitchen and notice that the trash needs to be taken out I think that the chivalrous thing for the man to do is take it out or ask where he can take it. I wont purposely fill up the trash to test a man, but in the event this does happen I think it says a lot if the man takes it upon himself to take the trash out.
THIS IS BIG FOR ME. BIIIIIIIG!
3. Can you adapt? If I take you to where I grew up in Oakland or to my companys Christmas party how will you adapt in each situation? If you cant hold your own I dont know how much further I can let things progress.
@pepperred@gmail.com,
welcome and sh*t.
@The Champ,
Im usually a lurker but today I just couldnt resist.
@pepperred@gmail.com,
Ur #2 is sooo serious…. if you see that the trash is full or that is snowed 3 feet and my porch isn’t swept and u don’t offer to help it means ur a selfish prick. lol… may u slip on an icy patch as u make ur way down those unsalted steps.
@pgh muse,
“may u slip on an icy patch as u make ur way down those unsalted steps”
somehow..I am takin this personally….lolol
@KingPine,
Hmmmm please refer to Blackberry Molasses’ reply to comment #26….
@pgh muse,
shoveling snow if for crackheads huslting up money to get their next fix
@eff yo couch,
lmao… i’m all about supporting black business, as long as the snow gets off the steps and the walkway and u took the initiative to make it happen, pulled that good $5.00 out ur own pocket to pay Pookie then I’m good… I don’t have to do it.
@pepperred@gmail.com,
welcome!!!
*shooting gold stars*
@pepperred@gmail.com,
Welcome!!!!!
**Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
I LOVE YOU CHAMP!!
My test is food. I am a greedy ass (aka A Foodie). Now I understand that people just dont like certain foods but I think that it is totally unacceptable to turn your nose up at something you have never tried. Especially when it comes to “ethnic” food because pretty much all of my friends and family come from some place else or are just open to trying & serving new things. So the thought of someone I bring around screw face at a pot of thieboudienne, yassa or hell even a fried plaintain would be a complete turn off to me.
To me food represents how open minded you are and how much you have been exposed to. Again..I know every body doesnt like everything but damn the world is to diverse to only eat fried fish & collards (mmmmm collards!…sorry I faded for a second). I know I dont like certain things because I have tried them TWICE lol which proves (1) I am greedy (2) I am daring and that carries over to almost every other aspect of my life and how I operate so he has to be the same way!
@Yaa,
thanks and sh*t. the champ loves you too (whoever you are)
@Yaa,
“I think that it is totally unacceptable to turn your nose up at something you have never tried. “
As a fellow foodie, and overall lover of GOOD food, I approve this message and cosign the sentence above.
Testing…testing…1…2…:
1. What’s in heavy rotation on your IPod?
> Jim Jones (after that answer I can’t seem to hear)…..ask to see said IPod and break it.
2. Have you seen Anchorman?
If no…..prepare left hand for betch slap and feet for immediate departure.
If yes…continue.
3. Do you LOVE Anchorman?
If no…prepare left foot for swift kick in arse.
If yes…continue.
4. Do you enjoy reading?
If no…engage in vicious tongue lashing…dumbarse.
If yes… “So what are you doing when you leave here?” j/k
@This Just In…Welcome to SIXBURGH!,
“> Jim Jones (after that answer I can’t seem to hear)…..ask to see said IPod and break it.”
LMAO!!
i’ve never watched it coz i’m never home when it comes on ( i have a life, okay???) … i’m about to meet one of the guys from the show, tho – he’s in town in some weeks time, and is interested in doing outreach work… does that count?? heh heh, i love my life…
@superwoman,
it was on demand for years. you could watch it whenever you wanted to.
@Deviant, perhaps i should mention that i live in johannesburg, south africa…
@superwoman,
ok yeah that makes a difference. Have you tried Hulu?
@Deviant, it’s blocked, love – hulu, all the nbc stuff- a whole bunch of footage on the internet doesn’t get out of the US – apparently some post-writers strike residue… bloody annoying.
@superwoman,
thats horrible.
Another 1st date deal breaker… wearing Sunglasses at night and continuously licking one’s lips while conversing. I don’t know who told men that this was sexy… but it’s not. It’s scary @ me and makes me want to dig in my purse and offer u some burt’s bee’s, chap stick, or whatever lip soother i happen to have in my bag at the time. Then i’ll tell u how u need to drink some water cuz if ur lips are that dry u must be dehydrated.
@pgh muse, this is a terrible, terrible effect, i wish they would stop!! it makes me feel dirty…
My Relationship Litmus is to make sure they can speak standard english and using “slang” is a choice, not their only way of conversing
@Jenna Marie Christian,
This is a good one.
@miss t-lee,
I concur.
Morning…
Okay, so, I’m convinced that this blog is like the male version of me? (yeah, it’s a question… kinda scary)
Weird? Hells yeah… any-who… What’s my litmus test… Hmmm
How do you feel about:
1. Natural hair – it’s now a part of me… Don’t try to get me to perm my hair. Been there, done that, probably won’t go back there… END. OF. DISCUSSION.
2. Church on Sunday – I’m really open-minded and not @ all a Bible-thumping-tambourine-shaking church lady. I’m a spiritual being and I need you to believe in something. We’ll work on matching up later.
3. Dark skinned women – Please don’t tell me you’re doing me a favor by dating me b/c “I’ve only dated light skinned women previous to you. You’re cute for a black girl, so… umm.” I’m just sayin’!
4. Pre-marital sex – I’m not a virgin but that doesn’t mean when I happen to get drunk on the third date that you get access to my cookie jar… I mean, we’ll get around to it, but don’t assume that you’re just gonna get it first quarter!
5. BIG LOVE – So, even though this is a fairly new show, it’s probably my equivalent to The Wire (which I don’t own, but watch OnDemand)… There’s something so intriguing about polygamy. And the sex scenes aren’t too bad. So, just watch it with me and we’ll both end up happy!
@Sepia,
I like BigLove but I can’t put it on the same platform as The Wire. Thats sayin too much
i agree.while i’m super excited Big Love Season 3 is finally on (altho i no longer have HBO–cut if off after The Wire went off–and have to wait to get to somebody else’s HBO’d crib), it’s NOT comparable to The Wire’s awesomeness on any level.
@Sepia,
Big Co-Sign on all of your points…
I have natural hair myself, I am a darker sista and don’t appreciate being treated like a low class citizen from a brotha with the “color complex”, I am serious about having a spiritual relationship, I too agree that patience should be implemented when involving sex in relationships…Good Post!!!!
@Jenna Marie Christian,
I cosign on your cosign.
Sepia, you’re alright w/me, my fellow HappyNappySista.
@Sepia,
Spot on…..
cept for 3…like to sleep in but spirituality ain’t limited to sunday’s either…
and
5 never seen it
@Sepia,
If your post were a man, I’d have to seriously consider filing for divorce, so I could run away with it.
In other words…. good shyt.
And Welcome!!!!! (I think)
**Diva Dust v. 2.0 ™**
If I ask you about the last book you read, and you begin to explain how King Magazine is informative, you fail.
If you don’t understand sarcasm and are incapable of engaging me in witty banter, you fail.
And most importantly, if you fail to realize and acknowledge out loud that in the course of our conversation, I replied to something you said to me with a Jay-Z lyric at least once….we have no future.
G’day.
@ 8th Wonder
But King Magazine is informative, it’s like the black man’s National Geographic
Fail.
hmmm…i am soooooo #4. the wire was one of those things that got away from me. i don’t like catching stuff in the middle so i’d have to catch up. i’ve done it with previous shows in the past so the wire is on my list.
anywhoo…hmmm…i think i try to be open and i tend to sideline people depending on how things develop. i don’t think i have a lot of litmus tests but some things that are important:
1. you have to have some sort of spiritual/religious beliefs. im’ma need you to know BBJ. i’m not the bible thumping errbody’s going to hell church lady but i’m really gonna need you to have some faith and believe in something bigger than yourself.
2. music. scratch that. good music. you must live it, learn it, love it. and jim jones doesn’t count.
3. reading is fundamental. i always have a book. you don’t have to read as much as i do, but d@mn…
4. you can love and be close to your mama. you cannot be glued to her, unable to make decisions without her and/or not be able to stand up to her after WE have made a decision together….lawd, i’m having flashbacks so let me end this here. lol.
@SouthernGirl,
Dito… Agreed!!!!
Another litmus test… u don’t like Nas’ *igger album. I love it and think that any man I’d actually be interested in should love it too.
@pgh muse,
I love it and think that any man I’d actually be interested in should love it too
lol…so basically you’ve narrowed your pool down to 26 people.
@The Champ,
lol … whatevs… someone out there is feeling me on this.
@pgh muse,
so i guess nobody is feeling this album as much as i am…
WIA is old school, but I think the conventional questions need to be updated.
The old question
Q. Do you cook?
A1. No – leave/keep her on Jump Off status
A2. Yes – She stays in the running for Wifey.
Times have changed.
The new question
Q. Do you cook *every* day?
A. No
B. I work during the week
C. On special occasions
D. In a committed relationship, I cook for my man
E. For you, I will
A-C – she’s being honest, take that for what it is.
D-E – she’s trying to manipulate you (leave)
But what if she says yes?
I’ll get back to you when I find one amongst these mba’s, md’s, and jd’s that I run through.
@WestIndianArchie,
Are you ready to get married?
I’m in NY… I cook everyday… Bahamian-American!!! LOL
I feel what you’re saying. Women (and I use this term very loosely) want a lot out of a man and then think it’s cute to say, “Yeah, I can make… RESERVATIONS!” Like, huh?
@Sepia,
Ready to get married? Yes. Wouldn’t have said that last year, but I can say it this year.
Am I ready for marriage though?
@Sepia,
woe I remember that mag. Or @ least I have seen one. mh mh mh love the comment. I like the way you think about this subject.
@WestIndianArchie,
I’m a JD that cooks when the mood hits me. Sometimes everyday for a month. Sometimes on weekends only. Sometimes I’m too busy to bother for weeks at a time. Sometimes for parties. If I’m particularly fond of a guy I cook for him. I like it when men destroy a meal I made.
What’s that say about me?
@Voiceofreason,
When the mood hits me
^^aka likes “outta rode food”
@WestIndianArchie,
“Sometimes everyday for a month. Sometimes on weekends only. Sometimes I’m too busy to bother for weeks at a time. Sometimes for parties.”
^^^^^^^^^^
Definition for when the mood hits me.
Reading comprehension. Learn it.
@Voiceofreason,
Don’t blame me for being sometimey.
@WestIndianArchie,
“Don’t blame me for being sometimey.”
Ummm, yeaaaaaah. Because it never makes sense to blame someone for doing the things they choose to do. Imma just leave this one alone.
@WestIndianArchie,
See that’s not entirely true. I do cook every day because a) I’m a foodie and b) I can’t stand typical fast food fare.
Well…. you were talking about mba’s, md’s and jd’s….. That’s probably why.
Ask me next year, we’ll see if that’s changed.
@WestIndianArchie,
Does it have to be a particular type of food that she cooks. I cook pretty frequently, but everything I cook doesn’t have anything that was once an animal in it. Which means there is a lot of tofu and even more veggies in my food rotation, and some cats just ain’t down with that.
I always feel that men or women who want a significant other that can throw down in the kitchen, really mean that they want someone who cooks them the same or similar version of what their mommas’ cooked.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Sorry Queen, I’m not Ital at all.
There are plenty of brethren in Brooklyn that would ride for you though.
@WestIndianArchie,
Damn it!!! Another one scratched off the list. Sigh, between me not liking sports (rugby is the exception), not having watched the wire, not owning any pair of heels and not being proficient in the make up game (although this was more an indication of my sexuality than anything else, if I remember the post correctly), slight quesiness at the thought of giving head (i do, i just have sensitive gag reflexes) and having little to no knowledge about hip hop, old school or otherwise, I’m beggining to wonder if the prudent thing would be to start the cat collection now. I already knit so that seems to be the logical next step.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I’m beggining to wonder if the prudent thing would be to start the cat collection now
this would be a wise decision. its always good to get a head start on things
@The Champ,
Pun intended, I assume?
@The Champ,
What have you been reading, the gospel according to St. Bastard?
(Hahhaaa, sorry I’m on an Eddie Izzard kick at the moment.)
@ofloveandotherdemons,
Eddie Izzard is the MAN… or woman… with his cross dressing a$$
Ok, this may be very superficial, but I gotta say it….
THE SHOES MAN! THE SHOES!!
It’s not really a question, but if I look down and see your shoes ran over…I look at you differently. I’m sorry! They aint gotta be the freshest kicks, but they gotta be presentable.
Please don’t ask me to expound or explain. Just take it.
@nia,
CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!
@nia,
Amen.
The shoes’ test is a subconscious thing for me. We won’t even get to the first date if you don’t pass the shoes’ test.
also a wire fan, so my question is likely a variation of the same:
dude: so you’ve got a dog?
gigi: yeah
dude: what’s his name
gigi: bodie … or PRESTON BODIE BROADUS if i’m yelling at him for eating the couch.
dude: cool. is that, like, a relative’s name?
gigi: *blank stare; puts underwear back on*
@GiGi,
I find it amusing that this conversation would take place while you’re undressed.
@Voiceofreason,
think of how much better the world would be if all conversations should take place while folks were undressed.
@GiGi,
Mmmm hmmm… We could get so much done… Just imagine….
@GiGi,
nude or not, i’m just pleased that you named your dog after the best corner boy that ever lived.
@The Champ,
agreed, bodie was my dude. i miss that show. sometimes it’s necessary to work random wire quotes into conversation just to give it its due.
Friend: Hey GiGi, wanna run to the mall with me?
GiGi: This is my corner. I ain’t runnin nowhere. (bodie)
Boss: GiGi, why is it that you don’t start working until 12:30, when you’re here at 8?
GiGi: A (wo)man got to have a code.(bunk/omar)
Ugly Cutbuddy: Why don’t you ever take me out in public or to meet your friends.
GiGi: Because… My name is my name. (marlo)
@GiGi, You are my Wire idol!
@GiGi,
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. this whole comment gave a f*ck when it wasn’t its turn to give a f*ck
I refuse to watch the Wire. I missed the beginning of the craze, and later the commercials on BET turned me off even more. Am I the only one who noticed how excessively violent those commercials were? I was appalled and disgusted they aired those in prime time. Ish like that is why our kids are glorifying violence on city streets.
On the other stuff, I guess I’m easy though. I’m not enough of a die hard fan of any show/music/cultural phenom to next someone over it. The current beau isnt in to Chapelle, which nearly killed me. Luckily he is at least willing to sit through the DVD’s and standup.
@Dom,
Daaaamn Champ! She said she refuuuuse to watch it! My girl said she is “appalled” AND “disgusted”! Wooow. You gon take that? Huh?? Huh?? Ugh, you’s a punk!
Did my instigating work???
@Dom,
***cutting and pasting***
TIME Magazine especially praised the fourth season, stating that “no other TV show has ever loved a city so well, damned it so passionately, or sung it so searingly.”
The website Metacritic, which gathers reviews from published news sources and translates them into a percentage score, has assigned to The Wire’s fourth season a weighted average score of 98%, the highest for any television show since Metacritic began tracking them in 2005.
Several reviewers have called it the best show on television, including TIME, Entertainment Weekly, The Guardian, the Chicago Tribune,Slate,the San Francisco Chronicle, and the Philadelphia Daily News.
Charlie Brooker, a columnist for the British newspaper The Guardian has been particularly copious in his praise of the show, in both his column “Screen Burn” and his BBC Four television series Screenwipe, in which he often speaks highly of it, calling it possibly the greatest show of the last 20 years.
In January 2008, current U.S. President Barack Obama was quoted in the Las Vegas Sun as saying that The Wire is his favorite show on television.
***done cutting and pasting***
don’t let bet’s bastardization of the show affect your view. rent it. watch it. love it.
@The Champ,
*crosses arms over chest*
No.
I was appalled and disgusted they aired those in prime time. Ish like that is why our kids are glorifying violence on city streets.
truth be told, there is nothing about The Wire that glorifies street life, drug dealing, police work, politics, teaching, etc. the show “keeps it real” and deals with REAL issues of poverty stricken, drug infested big cities– and it just so happens that violence plays a very big part in all of that. you may not like excessively violent previews of a show that includes excessively violent scenes, but that’s not the burden of the network airing the show (be it BET or HBO) or even the creator/ writers/ director of the show– blame that on reality.
@Gem-nastics,
“network airing the show (be it BET or HBO) or even the creator/ writers/ director of the show– blame that on reality.”
Actually, it is their burden. Weather or not art imitates life doesnt matter. I find it extremely offensive that the network would air images of a black man firing a gun on another black man in broad daylight.
The commercials aired right after kids get home from school, at a “high risk time,” and in the middle of 106 & Park, a show marketed towards teens. As one of the few black networks on TV I believe BET should be held to a higher standard.
That commercial NEVER would have aired on MTV, VH1, or any national station at that hour. The fact that BET seemed to promote that sort of violence is uunconscionable.
@Dom,
I agree here too..(sorry Champskins)..just because it was Obama’s favorite show, doesn’t make me inclined to go buy every season on Apple tv. I think the need to escape in this way, is rather sad, particularly given whats going on NOW with Sheila Dixon (Baltimore’s current mayor).
perhaps Obama viewed it as “homework” and needed to get caught up on the innerworkings of the inner city.
but i cram to understand how this was and is must see tv…outside of some of the beautiful camera shots and city grit…i guess my question is..so? and?
@Princess Duvet, lol at cram to understand
@SouthernGirl,
I give the Princess mad props for the “cram to understand” line. Good shyt.
@Princess Duvet,
I think the need to escape in this way, is rather sad, particularly given whats going on NOW with Sheila Dixon (Baltimore’s current mayor).
not all tv is escapism, and not all people view television as a vehicle to escape.
with that being said, although i’ve jabbed folks who felt this way, i can understand why someone would be turned off by the wire. its not as violent as you and dom have made it out to be, but much of the subject matter can be difficult to watch, and theres really nothing wrong with just wanting to escape when watching tv, and nothing else
what makes the wire so great is that it puts a face, voice, and reason behind much of the stuff going on in our communities, from the governors office down. its not all bang-bang shoot em up. in fact, the street stuff (which, admittedly is very prominent in the ads) takes up maybe 25 percent of the screen time.
its not a show about cops and dealers and gangstas. its a show about a city, a show that uncompromisingly shows all parts of that city, from how nclb (no child left behind) affects teaching to what happens to a person when they try to single-handedly “reform” a panoramic institution.
it also touches on some of the issues you mention downthread (ie: “I’m tryna figure out why a univ hospital (Johns Hopkins) is the only major org committed to the revitalization of a whole dayum city”)
again though, obviously you’re entitled to your opinion, but i just dont wanna see you (or anyone else) writing the show off because they think its something that its not.
@The Champ,
“its not a show about cops and dealers and gangstas. its a show about a city, a show that uncompromisingly shows all parts of that city, from how nclb (no child left behind) affects teaching to what happens to a person when they try to single-handedly “reform” a panoramic institution. ”
Champster, Im not trying to bust your chops but this is the dinner party synopsis of the wire….really smart (and well stated) banter between you and roger ebert.
For most black people not living under a rock and close to major metropolitian or very rural areas, black kids have been left behind probably since post segregation w/ brown v. board. Local black leaders have been seduced, paraded and played since Marion Berry (and much by his very own sober co-sinage)
but the colt 45 back alley version, is that this is all entertainment. HBO found their pot of gold in every day urban themes. Never once did I here that the Wire plugged money back into the local bmore economy, that they revitalized some of the homes they used on location, that they turned the sound stage into a charter school for kids. They turned on their cameras and told black urban american stories (that have been told before) in baltimore..end scene.
But i could be wrong. I’ve decided this weekend I will watch 1 episode, perhaps suffer through Brianna’s bad shoes, and see if i get the grand awakening.
@Dom,
“Actually, it is their burden. Weather or not art imitates life doesnt matter. I find it extremely offensive that the network would air images of a black man firing a gun on another black man in broad daylight. ”
I also think this speaks volumes on American taste levels (regardless of race, i know 2520s who LOVE THE WIRE..i sometimes wonder why tho LOL)..
but why is violence MUCH more entertaining than other subject matters. Why would we rather see a city at its absolute worst in order to find its beauty. These stories have been told so many times and in so many other backdrops.
i dunno my a.d.d can’t take any more particularly images of our own people in dire situations. 2520s love to call it art and realism..im starting to call it boring.
while i feel your sentiment for airing such violent vignettes in the daytime hours, i think that the time of day that BET chooses to preview the show has nothing to do with the show itself. yes, the show is violent, gritty, grimy, vulgar, and offensive (most randomly inappropriate scene award goes to McNolty s*exing a random chick on the hood of his car). but that’s what’s in the show– black on black crime amongst other atrocities. and really, no one (at least in the last 5 years) has EVER accused BET of showing quality programming in hopes of uplifting the black community. as far as i’m concerned, anyone who watches and/or lets their kid(s) watch BET in the 1st place is in need of psych evals, group interventions, and/or how-to-be-a-good-parent workshops any way.
The Wire is an innocent bystander and should not be persecuted becuz it is syndicated on the likes of BET’s network.
@Gem-nastics,
“The Wire is an innocent bystander and should not be persecuted ”
lol..that was funny..but there is NOTHING innocent about the wire or its retarded first cousin, BET.
@Gem-nastics,
“as far as i’m concerned, anyone who watches and/or lets their kid(s) watch BET in the 1st place is in need of psych evals, group interventions, and/or how-to-be-a-good-parent workshops any way”
At least we agree on one point. Everything else, Not with it.
@Dom,
“I was appalled and disgusted they aired those in prime time. Ish like that is why our kids are glorifying violence on city streets”
…i just re-read..Dom, would you have had an issue if say a TNT had of aired the commericals and episodes at night? Is your main issue the time of day and network or the content?
@Princess Duvet,
A little bit of both, but I realize that its an adult show and adults have the right to watch it. I may not agree with the content, but that doesnt mean the show shouldnt have been made.
I just think its unfair to subject children looking at music videos after school to violent commercials. Especially when there is already so much black-on-black crime in that age group. And I know that content would NOT be accepted mid-afternoon if it were a white network.
@Dom,
The commercials aired right after kids get home from school, at a “high risk time,” and in the middle of 106 & Park, a show marketed towards teens. As one of the few black networks on TV I believe BET should be held to a higher standard.
I agree wholeheartedly. I wouldn’t happen.
@Dom
“Am I the only one who noticed how excessively violent those commercials were? I was appalled and disgusted they aired those in prime time. Ish like that is why our kids are glorifying violence on city streets.
”
i totally understand your assessment..me myself I like “girlie tv”. I bought a house in bmore 7 years ago. OWNING and INVESTING in an area that people had previously written off is keepin it real with my pocketbook and some of my previous intentions.
@Princess Duvet,
Amen for that! Bmore is certainly a hard hit area. I think there’s a lot to be said for black folks who decide to stay in their community and build it up rather than ducking and runnug from the problems.
Thats an entirely personal decision that a lot of educated black folks face. Im not sure if I could do it, but I totally commend you!
@Dom,
“I think there’s a lot to be said for black folks who decide to stay in their community and build it up rather than ducking and runnug from the problems.
”
and watching it on tv…
i dunno..i know the area, other then being able to recognize some of the places that ended up on tv..or where the wire soundstage is…i still wasn’t all that interested.
Seriously I’m tryna figure out why a univ hospital (Johns Hopkins) is the only major org committed to the revitalization of a whole dayum city. Not even its own residents or people who lived in surrounding areas…who could pick up homes easily for under 5k a few years ago. Same for Detroit. etc. etc.
@Princess Duvet,
At least Hopkins is involved in rebuilding!
Boston is a national hub for higher ed, and a good majority of them dont participate in any sort of revitalization/volunteer work in the black community here.
They dont even give local kids here scholarships. A lot of that has more to do with the black comm. here not standing up and demanding the colleges and univ’s take more of an intrest.
@Dom,
with hopkins i think there were some selfish motivations..they were running out of living space for students and faculty.
but they made it a win/win for the city and even some area homeless people.
What is my ultimate relationship litmus test? I have a composite of questions/topics/conversations that can clue me in about a person’s mindset.
But a true deterrent is someone who has never been outside of their hometown at all. Make that their home state even. Even if you’re from Texas, I don’t care how big it is, please just go to Louisiana or something. Just open your horizons. There is big, bold world out there, and all you’ve seen is Galveston and Houston (true story)???
Get out of town(literally) with that nonsense!
I generally like open-minded folks that are willing and able to interact with different crowds. My friends and I are like a walking Benetton ad or more a UNICEF poster.
So you might find yourself in very mixed crowds. If you’re only comfortable around your “own” then we might have serious problems.
Another one dear to my heart: what’s your favorite book/movie? And why? It tells so much about a person.
I should have known the guy who didn’t get “X-Men” was going to be a disaster. I mean what is there to “get”? You know what his response was? “I don’t like stuff that doesn’t happen here on earth”. *screech* uh? Too bad I was already in that one. Waste of my bloody time. *rolleyes*
By the way, The Champ, that was a beautiful written entry, full of quotables.
@Specialized Sula,
I generally like open-minded folks that are willing and able to interact with different crowds. My friends and I are like a walking Benetton ad or more a UNICEF poster. So you might find yourself in very mixed crowds. If you’re only comfortable around your “own” then we might have serious problems
I’m going to go ahead and file those papers to adopt you as the e-sister I never knew I wanted. A courier should deliver the copies that need your signature in two to three weeks. Thank you kindly.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I e-signed the copies already. When I was reading your entries, I was e-filing my own.
We are now e-sisters for better or for worse.
@Specialized Sula,
“I don’t like stuff that doesn’t happen here on earth”.
this made me laugh for a good three minutes. good sh*t
@The Champ,
I swear, his answer still puzzles me to this day.
*smh*
how i vet potential mates:
are you a Lakers fan?
-this is kind of a trick question, which typically gives guys the assumption i’m a Lakers fan (esp since i’m from SoCal), when in reality i am a post-Magic era Laker Hater.
-if he is a hater too this is highly desirable and we can watch the nba finals together.
-if he is a fan, i care more about his response about WHY so more than anything else. most male Laker fans tend to be pompous pretentious pricks or at least have PPP characteristics. if he exhibits signs of PPP-dom by way of bragging/boasting about the Lakers, he’s gotta go.
what do you think are Will Ferrell’s top 3 movies?
-ideally he’d say (1) Anchorman, (2), Stepbrothers, (3) Talladega Nights. mention of Wedding Crashers, Old School and Kicking Screaming would be acceptable
-if he hasn’t seen any of these movies, he might be mentally underdeveloped and/or live under a rock, but i could work with this. i own my faves and he’ll need to watch them to see for himself the hilarity of quotes like “I wanna be on you” “I believe diversity is an old old wooden ship” “I tea-bagged your drum set” and “I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew”.
-if he doesn’t even LIKE Will Ferrell or his movies then we could have a serious problem on our hands. after scheduling him for a psych exam, i’d save his number as “Do Not Answer”
@Gem-nastics
Hold on hold on…..you think Stepbrothers is better than Old School?????????
Please say it ain’t so!
ok, i never said Step Brothers was better than Old School. i ranked my top 3 WF movies where WF is the main character, which is why i said Old School would be acceptable (since Luke Wilson is technically the main character). as far as ranking top comedies period is concerned, Anchorman and Old School are in my top 10 list. in fact, Talladega Nights and Step Brothers don’t even make my top 10 cut.
@Gem-nastics, Champ please come ban this women for ranking Old School outside of her top 3 for will farrell
@osyeP,
actually, old school doesnt make my will ferrell greatest hits cut either. “elf” actually produced more laughs for me than “old school” did, mainly because vince vaughn carries the movie for me. wilson and ferrell weren’t on their a-games.
i liked Elf.
@Gem-nastics,
***ducking, dodging glares and flying objects*** I’ve never seen any of these movies.
good thing i’m not tryna date you lol
@Gem-nastics,
lol… i know. I was thinking that before I typed it…
@pgh muse,
E-twin, Nooooooooooo! Say it ain’t so!
You’re missing out on possibly the greatest comedic sub-genre of our century.
Please try to remedy to it as soon as possible? Pretty please?
(I did my part, Netflix delivered School Daze last week and now I’m all up to date.
)
@Specialized Sula, ]
I’m sorry I’ve let u down e-twin!!!!!
I will try to bone up on my Will Ferrell, but i just don’t find him to be that funny…
@pgh muse,
PLEASE rent theses movies and watch them. If not, you’re only hurting yourself. And for extra credit watch Grandma’s Boy. It’s not a Will Ferrell movie, but you should watch it anyway.
@Voiceofreason,
*these movies
@Voiceofreason,
Is bl00dy on the censor list too? It’s the only *bad* word I used!
@Specialized Sula,
good question
SO what you are saying, and what I got out of all this is, you don’t like fat chicks.
Actually thats not all that I got out of this, but that is what I am walking away with. I’m okay with that because I love the wire.
@Cheryl,
SO what you are saying, and what I got out of all this is, you don’t like fat chicks.
what? fat chicks dont like the wire?
she’s probably talking about the “stair test”
@Gem-nastics,
Ah! That makes sense. That’s why you’re a “brain Doctor” in training, you’se smart.
lol i could be wrong. but that’s the only thing that makes sense.
@Gem-nastics,
ah. i forgot about that and sh*t.
@The Champ,
I can’t be the speaker for all fat chicks, but I do love the wire, and am currently in an active addiction. (i will finish season 4 tonight and start season 5, for like the 254564th time) however, what i was referring to was this:
***along with the wire query, i also give potentials the stair test. to expound, i live on the top floor of my building. if a walk up to my apartment makes you sound like an emphasemic darth vader, maybe its time to head back to training camp***
but, please let the record reflect, as long as you live only on the 2nd floor, I won’t sound like an ephasemic darth vader.
@Cheryl,
Yes lady, please expound that one.
I know this might be a little anal of me but I CANNOT STAND it when guys misspell SIMPLE shit via text or just write hella half assed when communicating. I know everyone likes to write in shorthand but there IS a line. There IS line with Ebonics. lol And if you dont know initially if the person really speaks well or if they’re just plain idiots this cant make me x them out quickly.
Misspelled words that drive me nuts are… Your and You’re, There, Their, They’re etc
Ebonics lingo I hate: Fa real, Fa sho, Nah,Dat… so on and so forth.
@pepperred@gmail.com,
I thought I was the only spelling nazi living. I’m glad to find a kindred soul.
My #1 pet peeve (that even Microsoft Word Spelling doesn’t catch) is using “it’s” in lieu of “its.”
I might be a bit OCD… hmmm.
@Specialized Sula,
Im not TOO much of a stickler for punctuation…but simple spelling errors I will not let slide. lol
@Specialized Sula,
Are your folks teachers? Both of mine taught English (dad for h.s., mom for middle school) – I had red ink on my kindergarten drawings! Funny thing, though, my mom SUCKS at spelling (she lived with the dictionary by her side or just used me) but is awesome with math. I remember her asking me how to spell my brother’s name once. *smh*
But yeah – I can forgive a certain amount of “creativity” with your written sentiments, but not if I think you just don’t know how to spell or complete a sentence.
@Specialized Sula,
I’m with you 100% on “it’s/its.” Irks the hell outta me.
“I CANNOT STAND it when guys misspell SIMPLE shit via text or just write hella half assed when communicating.”
GIRL ME TOO!
Argh, one time a guy called me “Your hinest” instead of “Your Highness” in an e-mail battle o’witts.
The e-mail was deleted and so was he.
@8th Wonder,
Was he calling you an a-hole?
1. “I don’t get it” – Guys that don’t get dry, witty humor/satire are ‘mos and should be treated as such. Anyone who didn’t think Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy was funny sucks… big, thick, hairy ones. On the flip side, if you thought Soul Plane was just hilarious, you also suck… big, thick , hairy ones.
2. ” Who is that?” – A man who only recognizes the song du jour currently in rotation on the local radio station is a jackass in that he’s both stupid and a beast of mental burden. At any given time, one should be able to quote, verbatim, at least 10 what would now be considered old school hip-hop songs. I was gonna say 5 but there are waaay too many gimmes.
3. “That’s It?” – Anyone who is only wholeheartedly into one thing and one thing only. People like this are not well-rounded and we call those squares.
4. “Pokemon” – There IS such a thing as too much geek. The line between Japanese anime and Pokemon is a very broad one in my book. Being a fan of animated feature films with subtitles and watch kiddie cartoons are two different things.
5.”Junkie” – Fads are questionable at best and guys who follow obviously bad trends (especially in their 30s) are losers. It shows you have no personality or style of your own. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try new things but be smart about it. Filling your closets with skinny jeans and coke-bright t-shirts is not the way to build a wardrobe.
6. “Hurt Feelings” – Anyone with thin skin is automatically pending in the friends category but with men it just makes them look b!tchmade. Seriously.
7. “‘Bama” – If you look like a hoke EVERYwhere you go. that’s a wrap. I do not want to wonder whether or not you got me if something goes down.
8. “Thumper” – I have very little tolerance for people with extreme religious or social views and no basis or foundation for them other than some misquoted/non-existent scripture references or “tradition”. You will only sound stupid and I don’t do stupid.
9. You don’t like Jay-Z. I don’t like you. This is non negotiable.
@ChocolateGirlWonder,
lol…damn. tell us how you really feel next time
@ChocolateGirlWonder,
1.Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the TV Series= Funny as Hell
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the Movie= Ummmm, jury still out on that one.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
That’s pretty much true of all things that are translated from one medium to another.
I can’t think of one TV show that was trumped by its movie counterpart.
I’m kind of late with it and much of my criteria has been said before but:
1. Religion – don’t bring it, I don’t want it. Respect my non-religiousness or find you a God fearing man…
2. Your only thing you can say about music is “I like the beat”…ugh.
3. Penmanship/writing skills – If a chick can’t write or express herself in written form then I think less of her overall intellect. As someone who was deployed on mission in defense of our country, receiving a letter in the mail is golden but not if she writes like a 3rd grader.
4. Make me laugh types – this is the type of person that tells you that they like to laugh, yet they are the most unfunny creatures in the world. They want you to be their personal jester and when the time comes for them to chime in they get the badooom crash!!!!
5. Eating habits (especially those older than 25) – If we go out and she orders and appetizer, entree and dessert without sharing, then I’m in trouble and will see her as a potential bovine goddess or someone that will be asking are they fat in a few months.
6. Family – I know people say that you shouldn’t care about their family but I call bullsh*t. The chick that has that brotha that can’t get right, or that
I’m missing some things but I’ll have to come back after I digest this Chipotles.
@CPT Callamity,
Amen to # 3!
@CPT Callamity,
Ooooh my, I may love in some ‘maybe in another lifetime you were my wife or I was your husband’ kind of shit.
#1-Yes, please. I respect all religions but please don’t be preaching at me 24/7.
#3-I always say that I would probably not have signed the Magna Carta or the Declaration of Independence if it was written the ass backward most things are these days. I wouldn’t even have skimmed through either of them, forgot signing them.
Why do people insist of writing ‘dat’ or ‘dem’ or just convoluting the beauty that is the English language.
#4-Sometimes humor just doesn’t match. I may thing that Eddie Izard is the greatest things slice toast (Cake or death!) and a dumbass my not agree. Should I hold this against them? Well, actually that was a bad example, if you don’t like
Eddie Izard you probably ok with the whole Tuskagee experiment thing and should die. You get where I was going with that though.
@ofloveandotherdemons,
I poked a badger with a spoon.
@Nikiloveli,
Guns don’t kill people, people kill people and monkeys (if they have guns).
I like women like I like my coffee, in a plastic cup.
Ooooh Izzard, I lovesme so of him.
@CPT Callamity,
I really liked this post and topic, and it was my first time today posting, I hope that I continue having fun with all the great minds on this….with that shit out the way I also agree with #3 There is no way a I’m going out with a pre-schooler !
Perhaps it’s me but my initial peeves are not ores that can be answered with a question, Instead, they are behavioral. for example, if you show up late or have to cancel, what do you do? Do you call last, minute? at all? Do you suggest a new hang out. I guess I don’t subscribe to the idea that the guy needs to do all the chasing. If you can’t be bothered to suggest a replacement date, then I probably won’t be bothered to call again.
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