Just like everybody hurts, everybody judges.
Me and you. Your mama and your cousin, too.
It’s a fact a life. Of course, you will run into people who swear up and down that they don’t judge anybody, but you usually find THAT out right after they’ve judged you, looked at you like you were a diaphragm, then said, “hey, I don’t judge though.”
Liars.
Me? I’m honest about my BS. I’m not perfect and I make misstake. See there, I misspelled “mistakes”. See, I owned that sh*t. But there are definitely certain things that I’ve seen or witnessed (for some reason, there’s a difference there) that have gotten me all umguferschlagen on the inside.
Here are a few things:
1) Really cheap toilet tissue in the guest bathroom
I’m not completely sure why, but something about cheap toilet tissue offends me. I don’t know if its the papier mache feel of it or that it seems like if you’re not careful you might make a “mess”. But you know good and well that nobody is putting cheap toilet tissue in their main bathroom. No, they’re putting the double-ply Charmin with the diamond designs and lucky charms and sh*t. When I see cheap sh*t (no pun intended) in people’s homes, I really think that the hosts are just bad people.
2) Walking out of the bathroom without washing your hands
As obvious as this seems, this needs its own ring of hell. In today’s day and age of H1N1 and just nasty a*s motherf*ckers, you’d think that everybody would have the decency to make at least a quick stop at the sink. At least fake the sh*t. For me. Please. I’m not a germophobe but I’m ready to break out the swine flu mask and flamethrower and start torching people.
And by the way, if you have EVER done this (and don’t carry around Purell or any other anti-bacterial something or other) you are a NASTY MOTHERF*CKER and should be slapped.
3) Taking money away from the tip b/c you feel the waiter is receiving too much
We’ve already established that bad tippers are the debil, but that compares nothing to physically seeing somebody determine for their self that the waiter is receiving too much and just pull money out of the tip AFTER THEY HAVEN’T OVERTIPPED. So basically, they just made a PROFIT on dinner. That annoys me with the passion of Mel Gibson making another movie about Jesus. I might actually slap your hand if you do this around me.
4) Being cruel to animals
Despite thinking that Mike Vick deserves a second chance to make a living, I REALLY despise people who are cruel to animals. I’m an animal lover (not on PETA levels though) so if I see you kick a cat I might run you over with my V8 engine. Real talk. Of course, if you kill a chicken and then manage to fry the hell out of it, you get a pass.
What can I say? The food chain is a b*tch.
(By the way, this show “Brothers” is not very good.)
5) Screaming on homeless people
Now I realize that some homeless, hobo arse ninjas really do deserve to be screamed on so this is more of a case-by-case basis, but I’ve seen some folks that I respected get totally beligirent for no reason on some less than fortunate cat. And not the dude in a 3 piece suit who used to stand outside the Checkers on Abernathy in the West End asking for money because he’s homeless. Sorry cat, you gets no love from me if you are wearing a suit I can’t afford but asking me for money.
Ditto the dude who used to be under the bridge at Lee Street rocking $150 Nike shoes that I tried to save up to by only to have the money saved up too late to purchase them in stores. It was the only time I ever considered robbing a homeless dude.
What was I saying?
6) Not supporting other Black folks
Just because
All of these behaviors make me question the evildoers mothers like they are the Vick brothers mother. But I’m sure there are a million other reasons to look at folks sideways.
So good people of VSB, just in case I’m missing prime judgement opportunities, what are other behaviors I should be on the lookout for?
-VSB P aka TANGLE JIG P aka THE ARSONIST aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
*By the way, we’re locking down a spot for the VSB NYC Meet-n-Greet. I’m getting hella lazy though so I’m considering just doing Dave & Busters in Times Square and calling it a day. That way, if we all hate eachother, we can all at least go play games. More details shortly.*
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{ 257 comments… read them below or add one }
“Walking out of the bathroom without washing your hands”
There is no excuse for this. It’s disgusting and amazes me when people do this and walk out the bathroom without caring even when you glance at them and give them that look.
Another behavior that irks me:
- People who are disrespectful to the elderly. This really gets me and I just wonder where they were raised.
@Leila,
LOL! I just posted pretty much the same thing (about the washing of the hands)
But some old people deserve it. … jk. kind of.
@Leila, I really really really really really hate (you can tell by how many times I typed really) when you go to wash your hands in the guest bathroom and they have nothing but those “prettyjustfordisplayandnotactualuse” towels and then get mad you used the to dry your hands. What? Was I supposed to use that dollar store 1-ply or my blue jeans which completely defeats the point of washing my hands in the first place!
I mean at least have paper towels or towels I can use! Rude McRudy Rudeson!
@Ro, you know, i’ve been confused at times in folks homes when all they have is the “display” towels. i’ve been in the bathroom a solid 10 minutes longer than necessary before due to this dilemma of hating tryign to dry my hands with toilet tissue but not wanting to ruin their towels.
basically. paper towels people, paper towels.
@Panama Jackson,
What are display towels? If there is a towel in a bathroom, I expect it to function as a towel. Just like pillow shams. . .why do fake pillows exist? At least the have the decency to call themselves out as a sham.
@kamakula,
“Just like pillow shams. . .why do fake pillows exist? At least the have the decency to call themselves out as a sham”
HAHA! Love it.
I always stare at people in the bathroom who make like they’re about to walk straight out of without making that pitstop at the sink. I want them to know that I know that they are nasty baztards. LOL
and oh yea… “screaming on homeless people”
This must be a regional thing, because I’ve nvr heard of screaming “on” .. screaming at, yes. innerestin…
@Selah, really? i thought that was normal to scream “on” and get screamed “on”.
then again, I come from a place where on folks birthday, they “make 30″ etc. you make your birthday.
“i made 30 this past tuesday” that’s normal talk.
cough up a lung, where i’m from…
@Panama Jackson,
that’s funny… screamed on just sounds weird. Kind of like “standing on line” nooo you stand in line. and turn 30. This amuses me to no end LOL
@Selah,
i, too, never understood how one could get screamed ON. it makes no sense to me and it make me start screaming AT ppl.
1) People who light up a cigerette and decide to sit right beside you. Be it at a bus stop, outside a restaurant, at a bar…the assumption that you want to inhale someone’s cancer in a stick really angers me.
2) Ever been at a coffee shop or somewhere similar and seen someone lift their legs up and put them on a public chair like they are at their own crib and not at a public place? Makes me want to pull out my belt.
3) Parents that don’t correct their children’s bad behavior. I’ve witnessed children drawing on the walls of the olive garden while their parents watched mortified at how that could even happen…see this is why I am stressed out at work all day when I am teaching because parents let their kids do whatever whereever the heck they want to.
4) 5 yr olds that dont know how to tie their shoes and lazy to take the time out to show them how to make bunny rabbit ears.
5) Parents who feed their children (esp very young children) candy, soda, honey buns, and zebra cakes for breakfast .
6) Men who cheat on their significant other but lose their minds and fall out into some sort of manic depression or craziness if their woman does the same to them.
and my final rant of judgement goes to….
7) Women who drop their friends, their social lives, their interests, their everything that means anything to them when they get a man. He liked you for who you were when he met you and what you were interested it and about. If you change yourself completely then you are either a weak a$$ female or you are in a emotionally abusive relationship.
@buboniccalypso,
1. you should move to SoCal. You won’t find too many smokers out here. On the rare occasion that someone does light up, errbody else in the vicinity gets this stank look on their face like wtf don’t you know you gon get lung cancer and possibly give it to us?
@Selah, do you just mean public smokers are actual smokers in general. cuz it’s not that i don’t think people in SoCal smoke less than say the rest of the nation…its just that i don’t believe you.
with all the models living in LA alone, the smoking quotient (not to mention the intense smog – clearly inflated by the mass quantities of cigarette smoking) has to be as high if not higher than everywhere else.
@Panama Jackson,
I meant public smoking. Idk and idc what people do in their homes, but thanks to the laws out here you pretty much can’t smoke anywhere. Shoot, I can’t even think of a smoker I know.
Ok I thought of one while typing that. But she doesn’t count. Why? Because I said so. lol
@Panama Jackson, there is indeed a lot of smoking in LA. you can find them right on the balcony, patio, roof of whichever establishment you happen to be frequenting. you just can’t smoke inside or at the beach. but really, that’s about it.
@Miss Patterson,
yea? It’s not something I encounter like -ever- … even though I’m not in LA. So maybe that’s why. *shrugs*
@Selah,
what part of socal do you live in??
@Gem of the Ocean
Long Beach. I don’t see many cigarette smokers. Maybe it’s cuz I’m not looking? All i know is that when i visit other states (read Vegas) everyone smokes and I can tell.
@buboniccalypso, co-sign your list in its entirety
so sad that #7 happens so often…
@buboniccalypso, re #2
i’m totally the type to put my feet up on sh*t. i can’t help it, i have no hometraining.
As usual, your commentary is on point.
Cheap toilet paper is rude, and you therefore deserve whatever the condition of your powder room when your guests leave.
My only addition would be people who don’t talk to their parents…at all…on Xmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Ground Hog’s Day…just don’t speak. Especially to your mom?!
I realize that parents can be more than irritating but I just can’t shake the feeling that if you don’t talk to your mom and brag about it like you have reached some OTHER level of enlightenment…you gon get hit by a bus driven by an elderly black lady wearing a crooked wig one day…and I’on wanna be standing near you.
Exception: Michael Jackson in re: Joe Jackson
@EbonyI, As usual, your commentary is on point.
why thank you! you know, i don’t actually know anybody that doesn’t talk to their parents on a quite frequent basis. not a single person.
@Panama Jackson,
Define frequent basis. I talk to my parents about twice a month. Well, each individual parent so some months I’m talking to one once a week.
If it were any less, I’d start worrying they were planning something that I’d probably want to know about in advance.
@EbonyI, I especially have an issue with folks who act like their fathers don’t exist (frequently, almost unequivocally Black folks)…like extreme hatred/indifference towards your dad makes you a better person or something.
Yeah, I’m late to today’s party, I know…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like
What about if your Dad is indifferent to you and you grew up without him? I don’t see why you owe him a phone call or much of anything.
I agree with this whole post. You get the stamp:
**J Tested, Diva Approved**
Other things I will judge you on:
1. Blowing your nose and not washing your hands. Disgusting as h*ll.
2. Picking your nose in public. Without a tissue.
3. Drinking after people you don’t know .
4. Mandals. With no socks. And crusty feet. No, no, no.
5. Grown *ss men (23+) ALWAYS wearing some form of sweats, basketball shorts or athletic gear. Do you own real clothes?
6. People who are rude to service industry folks for no reason. Yea you had a bad day, but I’m sure the dude at the gas station didn’t do it from behind the glass.
7. People who let their children run around and do anything and don’t watch them.
…man. Let me stop before I get extra involved in writing these.
@chaoticdiva, so short of the mandals, you basically take issue with people with no home training. is that about the gist of it?
and yay diva approved is that dopeness.
kind of like smoking rocks, only the complete opposite.
@Panama Jackson,
Well…yes. Sadly, I encounter so many of these people, and yet they call me uppity because I know how to behave in public? WTF?
I give the side-eye to the following groups of people:
1) people that give weak handshakes. you know the kind where it feels like they’re shaking your fingertips instead of your whole hand.
2) people that proclaim (with pride) that they don’t read.
3) folks that read vsb on a daily basis…j/k
4) This last one is specific to men- brothas that don’t have a wastebasket in their bathroom or have one pitiful petrified piece of Irish spring soap with which to wash your hands (is this the national male soap?) or stray naps in the sink.
one
@miss patterson,
I feel like 3 was aimed at me. Is this because I tried to convince you to join *the dark side*?
@chaoticdiva, lol.
@miss patterson, btw, i was not trying to be cool and type ‘one’ at the end of my comment…this was a typo.
@miss patterson,
lol. Irish Spring IS the official soap of American men.
but for this…
“1) people that give weak handshakes. you know the kind where it feels like they’re shaking your fingertips instead of your whole hand.”
That might be! I HATE shaking ppl’s nasty azz hands. Some fo the reasons are listed above.
@miss patterson, i can’t lie, i love me some Irish Spring, the blue bar with that extra zing to it…
lol.
@miss patterson,
Stray naps is the worse I have a beard so I have to be mindful. I hate to see any speck that’s not suppose to be there.
Dnt forget about women and their stray hairs near the wall of the bathroom
I hate sweaty handshakes, it grosses me out.
@miss patterson,
“3) folks that read vsb on a daily basis…j/k”
Yeah…weirdos.
@miss patterson,
“1) people that give weak handshakes. you know the kind where it feels like they’re shaking your fingertips instead of your whole hand.”
Sometimes this is an accident. I try to call do overs so that I dont go out looking like a chump
@Peysonic Temple, naw gangsta. you need to get it right on the first try. calling a mulligan on dap is at least 43 percent gay.
I judge, therefore I am….
1. co-sign people not washing hands after they use the toilet. At work, there is a bottle of hand sanitizer in our ladies room. Well, a lady cam out of her stall, and instead of washing her hands, proceeds to use a little hand sanitizer. I am sorry, but hand sanitizer is not a substitute for good ol’ soap and hot water.
2. Bad azz kids and the parents who love them. This weekend, I almost knocked these kids down in Target b/c they ran in front of me and almost knocked me down. And the parents were nowhere in sight. When did parents start letting their 10 year olds roam the store alone?
3. Bad weaves and/or bad perms. Yes, I am judging you and your broken, bald edges. Over-processing is not the business.
4. Bad tattoos. Last week, this chick on the bus had a tattoo across her chest. She had the nerve to have on a v-neck shirt, and what’s worse is I think it said Raleigh. Raleigh, as in the city where we live. Trashy, trifling, and stupid.
5. Chipped polish on nails. No explanation needed.
6. Sagging with skinny jeans. What’s happening to our boys?
@insomN.I.A., Raleigh?! really?
@EbonyI,
Yes! Now, I admit that I couldn’t see it too well b/c she had a purse strap across her chest. But the first letter was definitely an R, and the last 2 looked like “gh”. I guess that H could have been an L. Either way, it’s just tacky!
@insomN.I.A., When I see chipped polish, I immediately think cheap wh&re.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Cheap whore is correct. I can understand if you JUST chipped your nail polish and haven’t had time to remedy the problem, but when the polish on all of your fingers and thumbs and toes show signs of peeling, it’s time to just redo them or take that shyt off. You are not eleven years old anymore.
@Monk, EXACTLY….. if there is more than one, there is no excuse.. the worse ones to chip are red and black polishes.
@Monk,
I really side-eye those folks that have that little remaining dot of nail polish on their finger left. Just scrape that mess off with your nail! WTF you trying to salvage?! LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
i don’t necessarily think of cheap wh@re lol, but I do think lazy, and that she doesn’t take pride in her appearance.
@deN.I.A.l is not a river in Egypt…., It’s definitely not taking pride in the appearance. If one can’t keep the color up, just go clear (it can chip and no one will notice. )
@insomN.I.A., 4. Bad tattoos. Last week, this chick on the bus had a tattoo across her chest. She had the nerve to have on a v-neck shirt, and what’s worse is I think it said Raleigh. Raleigh, as in the city where we live. Trashy, trifling, and stupid.
what’s wrong with this. this is young jeezy’s fault. she puts on for her city.
@insomN.I.A.,
Tattoos tell alot about ppl.
You can see the unimaginative and trendy (tramp stamps, tweety birds, barbed wire), ghetto and unemployed (name of their projects, anything on their necks/faces) and just plain corny (men with colorful tats, I’d give you more examples but that’d threaten my anonymity). I’ve stopped dating dudes I thought were cool cuz of bad tats.
@Me fail english?,
No lie, yesterday I saw a dude at the gas station with a tattoo of the American Eagle Apparel Bird tatted big as all hell on his neck….my lil 12 year old cousin was like “why he got that gay tat…oh, he got a shirt to match, nevermind”.
@Ro,
LOL @ your cousin.
@Ro,
HILARIOUS!!
@insomN.I.A.,
“6. Sagging with skinny jeans. What’s happening to our boys?”
This is probably the most ironic fashion statement since sagging with a belt.
And YES major side-eye for folks that think hand-sanitizer is a sub for water/soap. It’s like when hand sanitizer was invented, folks were like, “GLORY! Now that cuts time on having to turn the faucet on! Thank you, Holy Spirit for saving me that .0000008 of a second!”
@Cheekie,
hand-sanitizer is a sub for water/soap
Might not be a sub, but hand sanitizer actually kills more germs than water/soap…
@Sula, i’m sure there’s SOME truth to that, but i really do feel like hand sanitizer and febreeze are kissing cousins. they’re like sh*t that really doesnt do sh*t, but they have a smell, so you feel like sh*t is getting done.
@Panama Jackson,
HAHA, exactly.
I’m more than happy to put some sanitizer on after washing my hands (especially because of the H1N1 monster), but please believe I’m using the soap/water first. I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna start using sanitizer on my body instead of showering because it “kills 99.99% of germs”. Same goes for my hands…which is a part of my body. lol
@Cheekie,
lmao@ bathing in hand sanitizer
What movie is that where dude doesn’t shower, he just wet wipes himself clean?
@me fail,
I tried Googling the movie you talmbout because it sounds vaguely familiar, and when I did “Zac Efron spotted cleaning self with wet wipes after claiming that he doesn’t shower everyday” was the first result. *dead*
@Cheekie,
LOL @ Zac Efron’s spot being blown for NO good reason. AMybe it wasnt a movie. Maybe it was real life!
@Sula,
My nurse friend says it’s the friction of rubbing off your skin cells that really gets your hands clean. So although, the actual liquid may be a better disinfectant, since ppl don’t rub as vigorously when they purell, hand-washing is the better process.
@Sula,
“hand-sanitizer is a sub for water/soap”
I heard this…and maybe it’s the old-fashioned in me (the same that tells me that dishwashers ain’t sufficient and hand-washing is the only way to get a dish clean), but I don’t trust a hand-sanitizer to get all the boo-boo specks that flew off the toilet onto their hand when they flushed.
@Cheekie,
@N.I.A.,
lol
Yeah, that wrong, right? Wrong, yet true…
I was hella mad when I read that article about how you shouldn’t keep your toothbrush next to the toilet because of aforementioned flying specks. And whatever other specks. I freaked the hell out and promptly got another toothbrush and vowed to never sit it near the toilet again.
@Cheekie,
” I don’t trust a hand-sanitizer to get all the boo-boo specks that flew off the toilet onto their hand when they flushed.”
Boo-boo specks flying off the toilet? Thats a pretty violent bowel movement.
@Humble,
It’s when you flush…refer to comment I made to N.I.A. right above yours.
@Cheekie,
Are you telling be ish flies out the toilet when it is flushed?
@Humble,
Yup. Read an article about it in regards to not placing your toothbrush next to the toilet because of it.
Not the exact article I read, but a gist of what I’m talkin’ about:
http://www.dentalplans.com/articles/38514/keep-toothbrush-away-from-toilet-for-dental-health.html
It’s usually very small and/or microscopic matter so of course you can’t see it, but it’s there. *gag*
@insomN.I.A.,
Sagging with skinny jeans. What’s happening to our boys?
This style is annoying…and rather oxymoronic, to me.
1.) litterbugs
2.) people who say pacifically and think it means specifically.
3.) attention whor3s
4.) people that ask for help but tell you how to provide and/or
question said help being provided.
5.) people who are always looking:
a. to get over
b. for the hook up
c. both a and b
6. ) Terrible liars.
Sidenote: Mondays are using pretty rough so I hope everyone’s goes well.
@Nola Darling, I hate 5s. I secretly wanted to call our local government insurance department bc my associate was altering her check so that she could get free insurance. lol. It was pissing me off!!!!
@Nicki Sunshine, the recession is real.
@Panama Jackson, it is but Dayumit I am paying. lol
Plus I wouldn’t be so mad if she wasn’t balling out on the weekends and always offering to pay for nights on the town.
@Nola Darling,
I cant stand litterbugs either. This is up there with ppl that spit in public. Smoker or not, that is gross and rude
@Me fail english?,
IM sorry I spit in public. But I hate the HOG or maybe Huag or hawk, yeah the Hawk…Hawk… Hawkk…GGGGgggr… spitting mofos. Dat get the spit from thier cerebellum and spit. Disgusting
@Me fail english?,
Ugh, I cringe at public spitting. And also seeing the spit all over the sidewalk. I saw this mofo one morning shooting one to what seemed like a block away. EW. Um, I know Bodie from The Wire, and you sir, are no Bodie. *gag*
@Nola Darling, 2.) people who say pacifically and think it means specifically.
I HATE this!
@Nola Darling,
“2.) people who say pacifically and think it means specifically.”
Ha! This reminds me of the librarian at my grammar school who cereomoniously chastised kids who pronounced library, “lye-berry”.
@Nola Darling,
i too judge litterbugs. i yelled at one just the other day as she was leaving garbage on the side of my apartment bldg. granted, there’s tons of other trash laying around (i live in the hood, ghetto-flavored snack trash everywhere), but i saw her and made a point to let her know she trifling.
@Nola Darling,
Totally agree with #2. I worked with a woman who said “pacifically” for “specifically.” She was one of those who had to demonstrate her superior intelligence with exagerrated syllabol pronunciation, some kind of hyper-diction. Every time she said “pacifically” I wanted to counter with “atlantically.”
@Nola Darling,
*syllable
i’m with you on the handwashing tip. true story: in my last apartment the bathroom was located right near the livingroom, so this gave little privacy to my guests. at any rate, i had a guest one weekend and she went to use the bathroom and after i heard the toilet flush, there was an immediate opening of the door. i couldn’t help it, when she emerged from the bathroom i said ‘uh-uh. wash your hands’. she was mortified and sheepishly pivoted and walked back into the bathroom to wash her hands. i have never been that bold EVER, but it was so clearly obvious that she did not wash her hands. she later tried to give me some lame excuse that she thought that the hand towels were for show and that she was on her way to wash her e-coli infested hands in my kitchen sink. this was also the last time she ever stayed with me. i’ve also been known to call people out if they are cooking with me (in my kitchen) and don’t stop to wash their hands. so, i guess i am that bold. oh well…
@Miss Patterson, I don’t think you are too bold at all…. It’s one of the reasons I don’t eat at potlucks and such.. I can’t see if you are licking your fingers, kneeding dough with your bare hands, etc. lol
@Miss Patterson,
ewwww… I actually felt quite sick at the thought of someone washing his/ her urine and fecal contaminated hands at my kitchen sink! Utter grossness.
And I’m so with you on the supervising of hand washing before cooking. You have to stay vigilant as sometimes people will use a moist wipe (as referenced above), and you’re like “No!!! Scrub. In the bathroom sink. I want to see some foaming action. And commence singing one verse of happy birthday when you start and don’t stop scrubbing till that verse is over”… Micromanaging yes— but those tropical diseases are no joke!
@Miss Patterson, you know, i’m not sure how you can remain friends with somebody after you’ve called them out for being a nasty motherf*cker. like…at the point you say it, its a public admission that they are just nasty and it aint like they can hide from it. lol.
basically, you shamed her and she’ll have to live with that forever. you all dont speak anymore do you?
@Panama Jackson, you all don’t speak anymore do you?
lol. no, we don’t.
Impolite Smokers!!!!
Back in Feb I got into it with a lady that was smokin at the bus stop. I was there 1st and asked her nicely if she wouldnt mind moving out from under the shelter and that heffa said she does mind…and said she didnt see a “No Smoking” sign there. Needless to say she got the cuss out and the speech to what ciggies do to ur health and appearance but
she was already uglyshe still didnt care…. SMH@MizThickaDenThick, i dont smoke, but if you were to give me that speech…i might have to blow smoke at you.
which is kind of like a slap in the face or saying, yo mama, if you think about it.
its a CHALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLONJ!
LMAO at #5 I’m sorry but the homeless in and around the AUC go extremely hard nowadays! Sometimes they need tough love every once in a while lol.
@GEELA,
I know this first hand. I’m as courteous as possible until they cross that certain line. I don’t do well with the over-persistency or asking for MORE after I already gave you a buck or two. For example:
Homeless guy: Aye red, you hab anything to spare so I kin catch Marta back to Decada?
Me: Yeah BLACK..here’s a couple of bucks. Be safe.
Homeless guy: Thanks red. You got any change or anything in your car? Marta’s $2.25 and I was tryin’ ta git’ sumn’ to eat too.
Me: Gimme my two dollars back..c*cksucker, beat it!
Annnnd Scene.
@Monk,
Man, this homeless lady leaned against my cousin candy red Mazda Speed. Im name dropping. But he almost went in on her MC Hammer Pants wearing A$$.
Then his girl offered her sumthin to eat, but she said she wanted sum burgerking…
The DMV needs to train their bums, in Chicago we dnt play that. Still name dropping.
@GEELA, they do go hard in the AUC area (or used to at least). i’ve quite a few fond memories of viewing the homeless olympics between Asby and Lee street.
@GEELA,
the AUC homeless are some creative mofos. i’ve run into the same ones time and time again and they always have another lie, built on top of the one they told before. i mean i’ve heard some elaborate stories. i’m surprised they remember all of it.
Besides the aforementioned with which I agree with 100% on,
People who refuse to use their turning signals and turns late!
I immediately think that they are some out of town, irresponsible, teenage drunk driver who should be ran off the road….especially if they are right in front of me. Like for real, you ain’t know you was gone make this right turn for the last 10 minutes?!? WTH you think your signal is for? Obviously for show the way you “DON’T USE IT!” I swear NClinans are the reason my road rage has grown. I even had to yell at my older cousin for doing that ish…. I called her and said hoe if you don’t use a damn turn signal i’m gone tap ya bumper…I swear!
And holy rollers. I just don’t believe that people can honestly be that “filled with the Holy Ghost” in real life. they always get the questioning side eye and a tirade of judgmental conversation followed by an apology to Jesus for being so judgy. Of course all of this in said internally so only me and Jesus knows….
@Ro,
Saturday night, this guy on 540, had the audacity to get over in my lane in front of me without putting on his signal, and without looking to make sure he had enough room to get over. I had to swerve into the other lane just to preven from hitting him. I was so pissed. As rainy as it was that night, that fool almost killed both of us.
Another thing NClinians don’t do is turn on their headlights when it’s raining hard. Why are your lights not on? smh
@deN.I.A.l is not a river in Egypt….,
and they do not turn they’re high beams off. I live on the back side of Cary where there are not street lights and hella woods…. I get why your high beams are on sir/madam…but do you not see me coming…turn them bad boys off til I pass you! It’s like they be trying to blind you on purpose. Ugh!
@Ro,
People who refuse to use their turning signals and turns late!
Oh my god, I positively HATE this! And ’round these parts, it’s the people who signal that seem strange. It’s like there is a code of conduct behind the wheel specific to this city and it says: Don’t use your turning signals!! Ugh!
Smokers are the worse yo. F*ck yourself up if you want to, but you want to take me along with you? Hell no, uh uh, GTFOH!
@Da Iceman, Smoking has to be thee grossest vice ever.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I disagree. Dipping aka chewing tobacco is THEE grossest vice ever.
@Ms. Hall,
“Dipping aka chewing tobacco is THEE grossest vice ever.”
Co-sign. The thought of getting cancer in your gums gives me the heebie-jeebies. Also, you look 60% less intelligent with a huge spit tobacoo ball tucked under your lower lip. In fact, your last name should be “slack-jawed yokel”.
@Ms. Hall, ACCKKKK> why did that just make me grit my teeth.
I stand corrected.
Living in NYC and using the public transit system has shown me how rude mofos really are. With that said…
I must say that young people that don’t give up the seat to the elderly or visibly pregnant women who come on the train or bus irk the hell out of me… where were they trained, if at all?!
Loud talkers on the train or bus… ummm you over there I don’t care that Rasheed was trying to bone you last night (often such folks are young folks). Please refrain from discussing such intimate details on the train and wait til ya azz is home.
Lastly, folks that try to squeeze into seats that were not meant for them to squeeze into. The golden rule is 5-6 people per seat bench… don’t push it lady!
… that’s all
@blackpearl, yep. all of that sounds like standard NYC sh*t. lol.
@blackpearl,
“Loud talkers on the train or bus”
I especially hate when they’re extra-loud and having a totally personal conversation. WTF, your life is not a TV show…I don’t wanna be an audience to it.
Beautyful insecure chicks. The kind who are always fishing for compliments or get annoyed if a guy is not interested. They are the same type to home in on an attached dude just to see if their “power” is intact.
They also hate it when guys hit on their friends instead of them. Can’t stand them.
@Superior motherload, basically hot chicks who need to keep hearing that their hot?
yep, i hate them too.
People that namedrop…. they have to describe the brand of shoes and clothes they have on (unsolicited info)… or they brag on being V.I.P.
@Nicki Sunshine, i hate that mess too. i was just telling my homey, jay-z, that the other day that i don’t need to be in all that VIP stuff. sure i hang with trump, diddy, and martha stewart…but i dont need to put all that out there or nothing.
i’m just real, ya know.
@Panama Jackson,
I wouldn’t tell folks you hang with Martha Stewart. Yeah, she’s been to jail which lessons the gay percentage…but she still crochets and ish.
@Panama Jackson, LMAO. I cannot stand you.. but seriously, Derby is a big thing around here. One of my girls told me that once she was dating this producer and he drove Beyonce and Jay-Z to her apartment in a limo so she could hang out with them and she missed her chance.
SMH.
I applaud this post! This deserves a serious upgrade of Panama’s putative/ alleged “he-a-3!” status to a 3+ (pick a number).
See, I think that we should reverse the fiction that seems to be pervading society that judging someone or being judgmental is not is evil. Not so! We still (thankfully) don’t live in an amoral society yet. If I tell a joke or act in someway that rubs folks the wrong way, it is the height of ludicrousness to get offended if someone judges you and finds you wanting. Now I fully realize that I might be on the receiving end of the o-O, and I will take it like a chick! And, I also realize that my judgment may mean absolutely nothing to the judged party. But still, I gotta be able to judge whenever people act a fool IMO and try and get away with all this value relativism nonsense.
@wanjiru,
I deserve to be judged *sigh*. This was meant to go down there…
OOO OO OOOOOOO!!!!! I can’t STAND people who don’t wash their hands!! WTF!!! I am so sorry but I don’t mess with hand sanitizer, wash yo hucking fands witcho narsty azz…all that dirt just being built up on your hands…ugh..don’t you feel that stickiness on your ‘clean’ hands…nasty!!
Folks who chew with their mouths open…I will lose my appetite…sounding like you have a mouth full of mayonnaise…eeew all that smack smack smacking goings on!
Babies with no socks, hats and shoes on in the middle of October but mama and daddy dressed up like their live in an igloo…da hell?!
Greedy people, especially when it comes to office freebies (breakfast, lunch)..erm, “I know you did not just stand there (literally) and eat 6 donuts, talmbout ‘these are the best’… for serious?!! Da hell wrong with you!!”
Arrgh!
@Smiley Face,
Donuts classic. I feel awkward eating anything that’s free, unless its…
@The Hallway, i just have to ask you to finish this statement….
@Panama Jackson,
Chicks dig Ellipsis…
@Smiley Face,
“Folks who chew with their mouths open…I will lose my appetite…sounding like you have a mouth full of mayonnaise…eeew all that smack smack smacking goings on!”
Yes! I normally don’t have a weak stomach, but I sure do while I’m eating. I also hate folks that chew they’re food like their a toothless old bat eating cream corn. Stop making all that gooey noise! YUCK!
@Cheekie,
That’s the exact noise I’m talking bout LOL! OOO can’t stand it!!
*sigh*
Oh god, I completely butchered the English language by committing one of my own pet peeves….confusing ‘their’ and ‘they’re’. Judge me, thusly. I just did.
Blame it on the Mondays, though.
People who have greasy ass hands from pizza or other heart attack snack and then touch something common, like the remote or passing a soda. UUUUGGGGHHHH! Then they don’t even rinse their hands afterward; just dab it with a sticky ass fibrous ass napkin. I HATE THAT! AND I JUDGE!
@Gem, that’s so nasty.
@Gem,
——————————————-
@Gem of the Ocean,
*looks up*
Wait…is this yet ANOTHER doppelganger? Lemme see a “Cheeky”, “me fail mathematics?”, or a “Miss Tea-lee” pop up…
@Cheekie,
LMAO! I aint even catch that! People need to STOP. The power of Christ compels you!!!
@Gem of the Ocean,
LOL! I thought it was you from jump. ah well.
HOW IN THE HAYELL Y’ALL ORGANIZING A NYC MEET AND GREET, WHEN 98.392785% OF THE READERS/WRITERS/LURKERS LIVE IN THE DMV??????
*Sucks Teef* More NYC prejudice
@Dorian G.,
Basically!
@Stank-0,
I feel you. Im from Chicago, but I’m even in the DMV right now. No disrespect, but GO-GO, GO-GO, forreal GOOOO-GOOOO. No, no
@Dorian G., um…we HAD a DC Meet and greet joint…you were there.
quitcherb*tchin.
but we are gonna do another thing in DC. i’ve just been lazy and preoccupied and happen to be heading to NYC this weekend. so i figured its as good a time as any.
and i’d bet that us DMV cats just happen to be the most verbose.
Also its clear to me Panama that you hate the environment.
http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/09/24/2009-09-24_supersoft_toilet_paper_brands_are_wiping_out_oldgrowth_forests_say_environmental.html
Super Soft Charmin and the like it basically killing all the puppies and sea kittens in the rainforest. Don’t forget about the Panda Bears.
@Dorian G., yeah pretty much f*ck the environment.
i don’t go green, son. i got Black.
@Panama Jackson,
Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the sea kittens!!
@Me fail english?, if by sea kitten you mean *** *****, then i think it definitely is worth saving.
@Dorian G.,
“Super Soft Charmin and the like it basically killing all the puppies and sea kittens in the rainforest. ”
Are they also killing the red bears that hawk the product (the ones that claim other tissue leaves little tissue squares stuck to your booty) in the Charmin commercials? Because that’s…ironic. I’ll never look at that commercial the same way again.
So good people of VSB, just in case I’m missing prime judgement opportunities, what are other behaviors I should be on the lookout for?
1)People always looking to get over.
2)People that have to be told or made aware of what they should already know as an adult.
e.g. “You didn’t tell me I had to pay that bill on time” or “Why didn’t you tell me not to buy clothes instead of getting my car fixed”.
3) Women that seem to always get shorted when dealing with men and never look at themselves. You are the same constant with all of these men and you’re telling me it’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing?
4) People who put pride and saving face before anyone or anything.
5) Sucka for love @ss ninjas.
Why are you arguing and stressing yourself over this broad that said she is through with you. How about you take your behind back to school and do something with yourself. You are a loser now.
@Humble_One aka $5 footlong, I concur with this list esp #1 and #4 and #3 is Unisex.
@Humble_One aka $5 footlong, 2)People that have to be told or made aware of what they should already know as an adult.
e.g. “You didn’t tell me I had to pay that bill on time” or “Why didn’t you tell me not to buy clothes instead of getting my car fixed”.
these people need to be shot. in my senior year of undergrad, my soon t0 be gf had a friend who would rather go buy clothes than by groceries to eat. i thought she was quit the ignoramus and never wanted to be around her.
Them unaware people. Not Mr. Bean or Bennie Hill them cats was funny. But the dude who is like missing what’s really going on.
First off, I don’t necessarily condemn people for being who they are but I pre-judge everybody, everything, and every situation. I’m prejudice like that. With that out the way, here’s some annoying people who get the judging from Monk:
*Folks who talk on their cell phones with reckless abandon to whoever else is in earshot of them when in public places. Hearing you gossip to your girlfriend who is equally as loud because I can even hear her through the ear piece in your phone irks me and I will promptly cast judgement on you for being obnoxious, loud, and probably a bytch.
*People who don’t dress their kids appropriately when they are dressed appropriately. I’ve seen this often with white folks. They’ll come outside during the winter with their coats and hats on while their child(ren) have on NO jacket, NO hat, and might not even have on shoes and socks. Same thing goes for the materialistic folks who spend their cheese on designer stuff when their children barely have two changes of clothes. Triflin’ a$$es.
*Folks who name drop all the damn time. I could give a f*ck less if you went to school with Dallas Austin, hang out with Tiny, and party with Jeezy all the time. Who the f*ck is YOU? That’s right..you’re a lame. Just cause the promoter got his duck sicked by you and you’re “V.I.P.” when you go to the club does not make you a celebrity.
*People who always type in “text talk” when their typing an email. I just can’t stand that shyt for some reason.
@Monk, name dropping is for the pressed and parched..how Bamarific…
alot of these things folk have listed can be summed up with a serious lack of the following:
decorum
home training
manners
common courtesy and sense
@Monk, *People who don’t dress their kids appropriately when they are dressed appropriately. I’ve seen this often with white folks. They’ll come outside during the winter with their coats and hats on while their child(ren) have on NO jacket, NO hat, and might not even have on shoes and socks. Same thing goes for the materialistic folks who spend their cheese on designer stuff when their children barely have two changes of clothes. Triflin’ a$$es.
Exactly who I’m talkin bout!!
@Smiley Face,
Ugh! Or when the mother’s hair looks like she just walked out of the salon and the daughter’s hair looks like she just woke up.
-People who don’t cover their mouths to cough/yawn/sneeze. I saw this 2520 lady get BARKED ON on the A train by some DMX’s doppleganger. Normally I feel bad, but she deserved it.
-People who ask me lots of questions in rapid succession. This is mostly co-workers and neighbors…but now its startin to be gym ppl too. WTF? ( I don’t give interviews)
-People who are friendly with everyone. In my experience, these are the cattiest, most gossipinest folks you’ll ever meet.
-People who lie about who they’re real tight with. I’ve had ppl lie about being my sister’s cousin only to find out (surprise!) I’M her full-blood sister fool! And I aint never heard of you. Another chick lied about being my cousin’s “best friend”. Again, (surprise!) Im her cousin and I’ve never even HEARD of you.
-Chicks who say they act/think
/pee“just like a guy”. Uhh….How about a woman with a good sense of humor and ho tendencies….or maybe just ho tendencies. Ha!@Me fail english?,
“I saw this 2520 lady get BARKED ON on the A train by some DMX’s doppleganger. Normally I feel bad, but she deserved it.”
This literally made me laugh out loud. The visual is hilarious!
@Me fail english?, -People who are friendly with everyone. In my experience, these are the cattiest, most gossipinest folks you’ll ever meet.
you don’t like nice people? that’s right. you from new yawk.
@Panama Jackson,
Damn. I guess that does sound kinda paranoid and crazy. I just feel like everyone should have a couple of ppl that they just cant stand. Builds character.
@Me fail english?,
Also, it makes you 3-dimensional.
@Me fail english?, you can be friendly with people and still hate them.
its called diplomacy.
@Panama Jackson,
Nah. I can be courteous and respectful and still hate people. Not friendly.
It’s called being myself.
I agree with Panamas list except I haven’t really had incidence with #1 but in the place of that, I will say folks that keep a NASTY bathroom/house in general get a SKRONG side eye from me and the assurance I will never have to go pee pee @ your house LOL!!!!
@OrangeStar616, and/or be eating or drinking anything or sitting down, matter fact I will just blow the horn and meet you outside LLS…
I’d like to add:
-People who play dumb/naive. I have a homegirl right now who visualizes sleeping with a taken dude, talks about how much better she could put it on him than his girl, etc, etc. but SWEARS she’d “never, ever, ever” go there. Bish plz! Who are you tryna convince? Im not his girl. I’ve known you since you were little. Stop frontin like you dont know what’s about to go down. It benefits no one. And frankly, I lose interest (and respect) in ppl who talk my ear off but refuse to be honest.
-Drama queens who pretend they’re going thru smthg deep just to get your attn.
-People who always “just thought you should know” that so-and-so was allegedly hating on you. This is usually the person who is actually hating on you.
-People who think they’re being real slick with the subliminal shots when in fact they are transparent as hell. Dont insult my intelligence or test my G. I call folks out for a living. I lose respect for ppl who don’t have the good sense to either say it plain or keep it to themselves.
@Me fail english?,
“I call folks out for a living.”
How much does that pay, and is your company hiring?
@Dorian G., that is a pretty great line…lol.
@Me fail english?,
Are they accepting online applications? Is the pay commensurate with experience? Do they have benefits? Is there room for growth?
@Stank-0,
lol. Recession’s a bish, aint she?
@Me fail english?,
I love how recession is a chick. lmao
It’s apt, though…
@Me fail english?,
People who think they’re being real slick with the subliminal shots when in fact they are transparent as hell.
This invariably irritates me too, what with the fake hypotheticals, the unveiled messages, the not-so-meaningful glances after not so subtle pot shots are taken. I just consign them permanently to the useless bin because they, as you said, neither have valour or its better part, discretion.
1. Extra ashy feet, knees, elbows. — I know we all get busy from time to time so we all deserve an ashy pass now and again, but when the crust flakes off of you…
2. Women who commit t-shirt, pants, etc. abuse. — Just b/c it’s in style doesn’t mean it’s for you to wear. If your blouse buttons are holding on for dear life or your gut is oozing over your Santa belt, you need to schedule an appointment with Stacey and Clinton.
3. Women who claim to be fly but can’t walk in heels. — Lead with your toe.
4. Anyone who discusses another’s personal business. — The world doesn’t need to know that your man failed the bar or that your friend was a virgin until he was 24 just b/c your angry or b/c you wanna tell a good story.
5. Know It Alls. — Talking about how a person should handle a situation you’ve never been in isn’t kosher.
Happy Yom Kippur!
@Voiceovereason,
Happy Atonement to you too.
I agree with #4 wholeheartedly. I dont wanna know too much about anyone’s business. Not your friend’s, not our co-workers and not yours.
That’s another thing. People who ask for crazy ass favors after they tell you a sob story. Like, “Can I move in with you?”. Where is your mother? and common sense? and pride?
@Me fail english?,
That’s another thing. People who ask for crazy ass favors after they tell you a sob story. Like, “Can I move in with you?”. Where is your mother? and common sense? and pride?
I feel you. I can’t stand it when people ask for crazy @ss favors in general. I had a friend who was angry with me b/c I never got back to her when she asked if she could spend Thanksgiving with my family. And why did she want to spend Thanksgiving with my family? Her mother (a preacher’s wife) always invited someone less fortunate to have dinner at their house and she was sick of it. Bytch please!
@Voiceovereason,
YES! I also get ashy when ppl invite themselves to stuff. Esp when it involves my family. I also hate when a friend from one group wants to tag along with you to every activity you plan with your other friends.
I can see if you’re new in town. I’d be happy to take you under my wing. But you grew up here like me! Hell nah, I aint invite you to Vegas with us. I NEED SOME FRIKKIN SPACE!!!
@Voiceovereason, 3. Women who claim to be fly but can’t walk in heels. — Lead with your toe.
I weep for shoes sometimes…they get so abused by these non walking folk…it just makes my heart hurt
Ok. Maybe I’m an a$$hole. Or maybe I’m just the queen of wet blankets. Sue me (u won’t get much heh heh). But there is a funny thing about judging folks. And yeah, it’s something we all do, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s something we all do that’s right. You never know the circumstance of a person’s life during any given moment…. and during that moment that you’re passing judgement and looking down ur nose – u coulda made that persons day a lot better by being kind… or giving them a helping hand instead of criticism. please believe i struggle with this in my daily life – i do, but i’m just sayin’ .
I will judge about some hand washing tho. That’s just nasty… lol. and germy.
David Banner said if you don’t notice the devil at least twice a day it means you are walking with him. Ain’t that some shyt?!?
@pgh muse,
I vote for Queen of Wet blankets. Like PJ said, nobody’s perfect and today’s post (I take it) is for pure jokes, we all have pet peeves and this is an opportunity to vent without slappin’ somebody! LMAO.
@Smiley Face, Queen of Wet blankets
@pgh muse,
I went to your blog and heard Jasmine Sullivan. How do you feel about that ” Im in Love with Someone Else” song? I was always the someone else dude, but that song almost made me cry.
@The Hallway,
I think it’s a good, honest sounding song. U can’t always explain love. Since u visited my blog, can we call a truce on the verdict of “It’s The God In Me?”
@pgh muse, its okay. there’s always one.
@Panama Jackson,
@pgh muse,
David Banner said if you don’t notice the devil at least twice a day it means you are walking with him. Ain’t that some shyt?!?
I’ve always known this man was a genius
when I’m not thinking about the things I could do to himWell said, e-twin.
@Sula, when I’m not thinking about the things I could do to him
haha! Me too, e-twin
@pgh muse,
We can call a truce.
@The Hallway, Gracias
@pgh muse,
you sound just like my mom saying this. i remember one day i called her to tell her about this chick that got on the bu s– in november, while everyone is in coats, scarves, and hats — and had on a skirt and some sling back shoes. i was goin on and on about how she is too busy tryna be cute and not practical and my mom simply said “maybe she can’t afford winter clothes. not everyone is as fortunate as you”. that really humbled me.
so i feel you. and while i do ge my judge (mathis/judy/milian) on, i often have to check myself and remember that everybody has a story and/or struggle.
“People who think they’re being real slick with the subliminal shots when in fact they are transparent as hell. Dont insult my intelligence or test my G. I call folks out for a living. I lose respect for ppl who don’t have the good sense to either say it plain or keep it to themselves.”
Yes! People think that b/c I’m easy going and laid back I won’t check them. I had to go off on a semi-friend once for doing this. She was tryna show out in front of some her girls that I didn’t know. I cussed her out in front of them. She’s kept her mouth shut ever since.
Oops! This was @ Me fail english?
@Voiceovereason,
I’m all thumbs today. Lol!
@Voiceovereason,
I love how this is turning in to a “Guess what I hate?” session. Thanks for giving us an opportunity to vent, Panama.
people that try to hard… I just dont trust you
People that mis pronounce words…especially if they are using that didn’t have to be used in the first place.
for instance my friend’s mom works at a library. A lady had written a book about her life and was speaking to a group of recovering drug addicts and felons on how she turned her life around. She tells them that the main reason she was able to get back on track was because she was blessed with “superlative” intelligence. She pronounce superlative super-lay-tiff.
A crack head corrected her. Enuff said.
people that use unnecessarily large words in every day conversation or as I have so dubbed it, bombastic vocabulary syndrome. . I always equate these people with Michael Jackson’s scarecrow in the Wiz.
Men with a lisp and/or wear thong sandals. I think your gay.
If you talk shyt and then I see you retract or “No what I said was” I will forever and always think you are sucka a$$ sucka…
I also think this is a sucka a$$ sucka move and I immediately determine you are not someone I can deal with
When I see or hear people take shots and add “just kidding” or something like that on the end…I just see it as a weakness.. say what you mean to say and stand behind it or don’t say it
Lastly people that talk shyt or intentionally push buttons and then act all innocent when the other person retaliates especially if the retaliation is in physical form.
Weak, manipulative punk bis h is my judgment on that…
@shay_d_lady,
If you talk shyt and then I see you retract or “No what I said was” I will forever and always think you are sucka a$$ sucka…
I also think this is a sucka a$$ sucka move and I immediately determine you are not someone I can deal with
When I see or hear people take shots and add “just kidding” or something like that on the end…I just see it as a weakness.. say what you mean to say and stand behind it or don’t say it
Lastly people that talk shyt or intentionally push buttons and then act all innocent when the other person retaliates especially if the retaliation is in physical form.
Weak, manipulative punk bis h is my judgment on that…
These 3 seem awfully similar. Why do I have a feeling you’re talking about the same person? Did somebody try you over the weekend?
@Voiceovereason, LOL it was last weekend..
I am kidding, really it was because of RHOA
I think NeNe is getting to full of herself and being a hater but I think the thing with Nene and Kandi was more Kandi’s fault than Nene’s and I didnt like the way she got all concerned with the volume of the conversation once SHE was getting put in her place, but when she was all “Thats Life, I dont give a dayum” etc it was fine.
I just dont like that type of ol shyt…
@shay_d_lady,
“People that mis pronounce words”
This really pisses me off. Esp. when the person is speaking from an authoritative place. The Tyra show just had a “prophet” on the show that kept pronouncing “discern” like di-ZERN. Even after Tyra pronounced it correctly she wouldn’t quit. I couldnt hear anything she said for the rest of the show.
@Me fail english?,
“This really pisses me off. Esp. when the person is speaking from an authoritative place. ”
YES. My mama is going through this with her supervisor. She’s trying to call her out on her mistakes and writes this passive-aggressive arse warning letter and it is CHALK full of spelling errors and grammar sadness. It’s like she’s standing on a pedestal made of cardboard. Way too easy to knock down.
She actually typed this sentence (paraphrasing slightly):
“This is no less than the forth time you’ve been told to enter it correctly”.
Mmmhmm. Yeah, she needs to come forth and admit she’s a dingbat.
@shay_d_lady,
I like your list A LOT!!!!
@shay_d_lady
“people that try too hard…”
This irks me to no end. I have a grad course with a girl who just graduated from undergrad and anytime she answers a question she has to give all of her credentials and then go on for 10 minutes.
NO ONE CARES! More than half the people in the class are older, smarter, and better credentialed from much better schools. Stop talking so much. Who are you trying to impress?!?!?!?
(It felt good to get that off my chest)
1. I like cheap toilet paper, I dnt need no quilts. Give me dat sand paper. Imma man, my granny use to handle da job downsouth with jc pennny catalogs.
2. I dislike women when it comes to tipping, usually I pay for the meal, so I believe a woman should at least leave the tip. Just me.
3.I dislike people that taste sumthing of mine and say its nasty. When I never offered it to them in the firstplace.
4. I dislike hoopties with loud bass. I feel you shud draw very little attention to urself.
5. I dislike people who do not scraped their plate out after they finish eating before they put it in the sink.
6. I dislike for someone to ask to tag along on ventures which may cost money, when they know their broker than have the washing machines at the luanDROmat.
7. I dislike people who take cutting grass seriously. Lawn Loving A$$
8. I dislike the person on the bus that seems to be staring at me, even though they’re not.
9. I dislike gospel songs, with booty shaking beats. *Mary Mary*
10. I dislike people who wear dirty glasses. Especially women with the oil smudges.
a. I dislike people who wear glasses that dont need em, because Im blind.
11. I dislike people that write blogs, but are too lazy to throw a picture up.
12. I dislike play cusins, sista, brothas, etc.
13. Chicks that say thats their ‘HUSBAND’.
14. I dislike older black people that complain, but dnt give back to the youth.
15. I dislike stripper dressed woman, that get offended when you looking at what THEY have on display.
16. I dislike people who dnt flush toilets. I cant p*ss on yo P*ss.. I cnt even thro garbage in dirty garbage cans.
17. I dislike when someone texts, calls, etc. N I respond and they act like I contacted them.
18. I dislike cold hot sauce. The irony…
19. I dislike people that brush off crumbs from their clothes, and the a$$holes act like they disappeared or vanished. No there still on the floor. Do you know how hard it is to get crumbs off the floor.
20. I dislike women dat mismatch jewelry gold with silver, yuck.
21. I dislike people that let their dogs walk them.
22. I dislike guys that wear hoop earrings, only scottie and jordan have that pass.
23. I dislike guys that enjoy a full musty day, come home throw some deordorant or cologne on, and have a sweet musty night.
24. I dislike women that have clean houses, and tell me they need to tidy up. Because my house’s clean is equivalent to ur untidy.
25. I dislike when people thro garbage in a trascan that has no bag.
26. I dislike women that wear coloered underwear with white pants. Either nude or black baby.
27. I dislike hypocrites, that will dispell any of their norm behavior just to win an argument. Example:
I dnt have one right now but I’ll get back to you.
28. I dislike women that argue and forget about what their aruging about and still be mad. Let just have the make-up stuff.
I cud go on and on. But I think I’ll stop here.
@The Hallway,
7. I dislike people who take cutting grass seriously. Lawn Loving A$$
OMG…do you live in my neighborhood?!! I SWEARforeGod my neighbor stays cutting his grass. He is out there every other day trimming, lining up hedges mowing the dayum lawn! GRR and THEN his black tail has the UNMITIGATED GALL to be up on saturday morning @ 6 gotdayum 30 with the leaf blower!
9. I dislike gospel songs, with booty shaking beats. *Mary Mary*</i?
OKAAYY!! When they play it at a convention you KNOW that ain't gospel, lol!
@Smiley Face,
I said Im from da chi. Just have the Borderjumpers *dnt judge me*. Come every two weeks and you good. U dnt have to line the grass up with sheers and blow away the excess.
Why Mrs. Williams go outside and pull weeds everyday, naw er’day?
@The Hallway,
See now I’m really getting the jinkies b/c his last name is Williams o_O
@Smiley Face,
I am Mr. Williams 5: 30 this weekend.
Naw im playing. Williams is a common name, ROTFL.
@The Hallway, 9. I dislike gospel songs, with booty shaking beats. *Mary Mary*
Blasphemy! It’s da God in Me is the SHYT!!
@pgh muse,
OH NO pgh muse or whatever you people call urself these days. Its da God in Me. Is it?
Shes on the flo, she calls it a blessing.
U say its living.
OCHOCINCO “child please”
In cpl of years Mary-Mary blackice or westcoastproduction. Pick?
@The Hallway, ummmm… i don’t know if i understand this…
@pgh muse,
Its the God In Me is repulsive.
@The Hallway, It’s not
. It rocks.
@pgh muse, Blasphemy! It’s da God in Me is the SHYT!!
can you actually say that, though???lol. aint that kind of…off-message?
@Panama Jackson, It is… hypocrites rule.
@The Hallway,
“24. I dislike women that have clean houses, and tell me they need to tidy up. Because my house’s clean is equivalent to ur untidy.”
We’d hate each other! I enjoy judging people who dont know how to clean. It’s like a lack of self-respect. And no, men only get a pass insofar as the place is not neat (clothes strewn about). Dishes in the sink, ring around the tub, and all that is just nasty, filthy, dirty and nobody gets a pass in my book.
@Me fail english?,
“I enjoy judging people who dont know how to clean.”
Lol. You must love watching Hoarders on A&E. I just make sure I don’t eat, drink, or sit back on the couch at their houses. Untidy is ok sometimes, but just plain nasty…ugh.
@Me fail english?,
Naw ‘me fail ocd!?’ Im the keep a stack of papers for a cpl weeks, then clean the grain of the floor type of guy. But I dnt like perfection , blame me. But dirty dishes no (paperplates), when you get there glass for the a$$… Ring around the tub… i dnt soak, shower-for-an-hr type guy, but it wont be dirty by time u get there…
But basically I hate women that try to oust their imperfections (my hair, house, nails not done) before I do. Im not into judging you or else I wudnt be courting. Ur imperfections might not be bad to me. I hate making up for what you take away from urself
@The Hallway,
Yeah, I can see where some of em are overcompensating or just over the top, but my bf was having a fight party last week so I went to clean up. I was only like halfway thru when he says “Wow! It looks great in here. Thanks a lot!” o_O
Men, unless they’re Jamaican (God love ‘em
), have a very different standard of cleanliness than women.
@The Hallway,
Don’t hold back now!
“5. I dislike people who do not scraped their plate out after they finish eating before they put it in the sink.”
OMG, yes. This is a bit of my OCDness coming out, but I always cringe when there’s food or day-old grease-fat floating around in the sink. That ish irks my nerve something fierce. I always have to scrape my plate before putting it in the sink.
“8. I dislike the person on the bus that seems to be staring at me, even though they’re not.”
Ok, this is my favorite so far today. LMFAO
@Cheekie,
“always have to scrape my plate before putting it in the sink.”
Yeah, I dont know why some people think they have a garbage disposal in their sinks. And when you leave food-y plates in the dishwasher it starts to smell spoiled. Eww
On the other hand, I don’t judge but I do hate on my uncle who wants me to wash dishes BEFORE I put them in the sink. I mean, he actually wants me to scrub with hot water. Well, what’s the dishwasher’s job? To sit there lookin cute?
@The Hallway, hold up, some jewelry IS both and looks very FLY when done with other pieces LLS
@OrangeStar616,
SHHHEEEEIIIIT.
This may sound silly but it really gets my goat when people don’t know how to walk down the street right. Like if im walking by myself and there’s a couple or a group walking towards me taking up the whole sidewalk, they need to be polite and go single file so we can BOTH walk down the street. I’m by myself, so im already as single file as it comes. I’m not walking in the gutter because you need to hold hands. Sorry.
Also people who are so engrossed in texting, tweeting or whatever the he!! else that they practically walk into me.
@Captain Morgan, i can do you one better on the twitter sh*t…
NINJAS WHO ARE ALWAYS ON GOTDAMN TWITTER. maybe i’m just ununderstanding, but how the f*ck do you people manage to twitter ALL DAY AND NIGHT. 24/7. i get on like every 4 days or something(whenever i really remember it exists).
@Panama Jackson,
I’m very judgmental of ppl who claim to be having fun and live-tweeting. You are a liar. Nobody having a good time thinks to text no one in particular about how good a time he is having.
@Me fail english?,
“Nobody having a good time thinks to text no one in particular about how good a time he is having.”
HAHA, good point. If you were truly having that good of a time, you wouldn’t be thinking about pausing the good time to text/tweet about it.
@Cheekie,
The worst are the ppl throwing parties/bbqs/etc. like “Yo it’s crazy in here, B!”
lol. NO its not! Stop tryna get us to stop by that boring mf-er
@Panama Jackson,
Word.
I hate twitter with a passion. I mean, seriously, who the hell cares that you’re tired, or cooking or sleeping or coughing or breathing and sh*t. Me myself, i don’t need a play by play. What happened to the mystery of a person?
@Captain Morgan,
“This may sound silly but it really gets my goat when people don’t know how to walk down the street right. Like if im walking by myself and there’s a couple or a group walking towards me taking up the whole sidewalk, they need to be polite and go single file so we can BOTH walk down the street. I’m by myself, so im already as single file as it comes. I’m not walking in the gutter because you need to hold hands. Sorry.”
*dap*
I HATE this mess so much that I make a note to move the eff out the way when I notice too many of us are walking horizontal. I also hate folks that stop in the middle of the sidewalk all abruptly to write a novel in their phone. WTF, to the left, to the left. You just can’t DO that. RUDE.
@Captain Morgan, I HATE that ish. I try to make it a point to not move off the sidewalk, so if we happen to touch because you couldn’t move your a** outta my way…oh well.
I tend to not like ppl that expect me to be personable every time b/c I was once. Things change and sometimes I don’t want to talk very much. Deal!
People that talk too loud in public places. I understand there will be a high level of noise, but if your voice is carrying clearly enough to be heard above all that, hush up!
Using cells in public…that just irks me. Usually its an unnecessary conversation b/c they can’t sit still.
Being put on hold while talkin to a live person. Anything longer than 1-2 mins and I’m ready to tell you to call me when you aren’t busy. I would rather not have to sit there with a phone to my ear b/c you are handling something else while on the phone.
Being stared down in public. This is mostly related to my trip to Moscow. I get it there aren’t many blk ppl in Moscow, at least be slick with your looking. I also understand I’m quite attractive, God blesses. If I turn and look you straight in the face, your subtlety game needs some repair.
I’m sure there are more, but I’m drawing a blank right now.
@Stank-0, Using cells in public…that just irks me. Usually its an unnecessary conversation b/c they can’t sit still.
What also gets me is for you to be talking to me and then pull out your phone to start answering a text…I will walk away.
Co-sign to alot of the issues mentioned today.
- People with no ambition: When you still live at home, got no degree/job, and the highlight of your life is being in a picture on Alltheparties.com then I aint interested in anything you got to say
- Young Mothers/Fathers with 2+ children: Everybody’s allowed 1 “feels too good to pull out” baby, any more and your a ho/dumb ass ninja
- People who are selfish/lack humility/unwilling to help others: Yes it was you who put in the work, but everyone needs help in some way shape or form to acheive their success. Stop thinkin its all about you, and pay it forward.
- Skinny Jeans: Nothing illustrates the damage done by absentee fatherhood more that a grown male decided to rock jeans that can’t even cover the top of some nike dunks
- People with bad hygeine – Did you really think that taking a shower last night was ok.
Born Agains/Saved People – Nothing like hearing that Muslims/Jews/Buddhists etc can’t make it to heaven cuz they don’t accept Jesus Christ, from the girl that used to be easier to get into than DeVry.
@TPeezy,
“Skinny Jeans: Nothing illustrates the damage done by absentee fatherhood more that a grown male decided to rock jeans that can’t even cover the top of some nike dunks”
Ya know, skinny jeans make me side-eye a nicca’s nuts, specifically. *cringe*
@TPeezy,
” the highlight of your life is being in a picture on Alltheparties.com then I aint interested in anything you got to say”
That’s another group of ppl that I judge. Ppl that STAY in a club. Like every wknd. Even worse are the dummies who dont know better than to show up in all the pics. Get a life!
Also, ppl who stick their butts out for pictures. They are not sophisticated and probably not that bright. I also wouldnt be surprised to learn you’re being “jumped off”
Finally, men who wear furs but party at hood spots (no offense Detroit, but seriously…offense). Im sure you’ll be in jail this year.
@Me fail english?,
“Also, ppl who stick their butts out for pictures. They are not sophisticated and probably not that bright.”
And 95% of the time, it just looks like they’re straining to fart.
@Me fail english?,
“Finally, men who wear furs but party at hood spots (no offense Detroit, but seriously…offense). ”
Lol at the median home price in Detroit being $7,500 but ninjas rocking fur coats.
@TPeezy, hahaha! that’s how they can AFFORD the fur!
@Me fail english?,
people that live in the club should be shot. their only happiness in life is posting pics on facebook of the 6 nights of last week they were in the club. they obviously dont have a real job that requires their focus on a day to day basis. if u went to the club last night and posted your pics online by 10:45am the next morning, clearly your not doing anything w/ your life expect paying for overpriced drinks and trying to make yourself look important. Good call TPeezy.
@Me fail english?,
“Finally, men who wear furs but party at hood spots (no offense Detroit, but seriously…offense). Im sure you’ll be in jail this year”
I wish I could defend my city in regards to this statement but I can’t. Cats wear furs to the bougie and hood spots.
“2) Walking out of the bathroom without washing your hands
As obvious as this seems, this needs its own ring of hell. ”
Yeah, this is my number one outta your list. I concur on the separate ring of hell. In fact, I think the fiery pits should consist of them having to eternally shake each others hands after doing the doo-doo.
Other side-eye worthy mess:
- Folks who overly glam themselves up when Moses knows they looka like a man. I’m looking at you, Wendy Williams. You’re only attracting more attention to your XY chromosome self.
- Black folk that don’t like chicken. (Somewhat in jest as my best friend in h/s didn’t either. lol)
- Chicks that say, “I only hang with dudes. Girls are full of drama”. Yeah, try looking in the drama mirror.
- Dudes that rock murses.
- Dudes that try to court you through text only.
- Folks who don’t dance at clubs at all. They usually think they too cute. Well, there are lounges to look cute. Be gone and make way for someone who wants to get footloose.
- Folks who eat chitlins.
- The essence of Lil’ Mama.
@Cheekie, Lil Mama catches on breaks.
@Panama Jackson,
It’s karma for having Zoolander cheeks and hijacking Joe Camel’s stage. She brought it on herself. *folds arms*
@Cheekie,
“Folks who don’t dance at clubs at all. They usually think they too cute. Well, there are lounges to look cute. Be gone and make way for someone who wants to get footloose.”
Co-sign. I’ll overlook the fact that you’re wearing shades in the club if you will at least dance. In the same vein; don’t wear things (dresses, shoes, etc.) that won’t allow you to dance.
I look sideways at people who…
1. Blow their nose in a dinner napkin and proceed to put the same filthy napkin on the table or in their laps (gross)!
2. Male friends/boyfriends/companions who ask me “What’s wrong” more than once. Trust me, if I said nothing was wrong–nothing was wrong.
3. People who think that all-you-can-eat buffets qualify as good restaurants because you can stuff yourself and have someone roll you out the door.
4. Men (especially old heads) who think a woman shouldn’t cut her hair or has to have “long” hair to be attractive.
5. People who always have to take “a plate” home when you have them over for dinner. Why do you need to fix a take out before you eat??? Just enjoy this meal and stop being a scavenger.
6. Aforementioned people who fix a take out for people who aren’t even there! “You know so-and-so couldn’t make it, so let me fix a plate for them.” Um….how ’bout you don’t?
7 You know what? Let me stop right here…
@Ivyette,
“2. Male friends/boyfriends/companions who ask me “What’s wrong” more than once. Trust me, if I said nothing was wrong–nothing was wrong.”
Hee hee. I think women like me are to blame for this one. Most of the men I know dont pick up on subtleties well so by time they ask “what’s wrong?”…oh yes, there is smthg the matter. When I say no its usually I cant think of a way to say what’s wrong without being rude or whiny or smthg so I just hold it til I forget or I figure out a way to communicate like a big girl.
I’m sure somebody said this already, but I side-eye people who aren’t attractive (borderline or cross the border ugly) that always got something to say about the next person. How you gonna talk about some chick’s muffin-top when you got pack of kielbasa neck?
@Slim Jackson,
So true. It does not pay to be ugly AND have an ugly attitude.
@Slim Jackson,
*dying* @ “kielbasa neck”. Boy, stop.
But yes, I fully support this addition. I know fugness is subjective, but if 75% of human nature believes the Montauk Monster to look better than you, then you shouldn’t fire shots. Not saying you don’t have the “right” to, but for the good of yourself, just say no.
@Slim Jackson,
I fully endorse this message.
1. Allowing your children to roam the streets looking any kind of way.
I don’t think that they’re necessarily dirty or poor parents, but I do think they need to reorder their prioroties.
2. 2520s that “compliment” me on my speech.
Uh…thank you? Not. Most (any) comment about my, a native English speaker, command of the English language translates to, “Wow you don’t sound ghetto at all.” Yes I judge these folks and usually place them on my do not call back list.
3. Being comfortable with roaches or rodents in your home.
No matter how clean you are if you live in an urban area you will most likely have to deal with this at some point. I judge you when you don’t seem to want to do anything about it. I went to a friend’s house in Chi-town once and the roaches were like residents. When I asked why no one called maintenance they responded that no one would come. There was nothing to be done. I ate out the entire week I was there. I refused to eat food cooked where roaches ran. Freely. I’ve never been back.
-People who insist you refer to them by nicknames that you’ve never heard anyone else call them. Ninja, you aint “Smooth” and I wont be calling you that. In fact, you are lame and I wont be calling you at all.
-People who think they’re players but mostly date wack-face chicks/dudes. We both know you’re lying. Stop.
-People who order hot water for silverware at restaurants as if the plate they eat off of or the cup they drink out of is sooo much cleaner. You wasnt even TRYNA make sense, huh? I know sometimes I do stuff that makes no sense but makes me feel better or is tradition (“washing” meat in lemon juice before I cook it, lol) and if we can admit this, its cool. But dont look as me funny cuz I aint doin the same when we both know it’s useless.
@Me fail english?,
Yo you a little tight today, why you mad anyway Giants and the Jets are 3-0. Relax, son.
@Dorian G.,
Tight? Nah, no skinny jeans. I’m in a esp. good mood today. *shrugs*
J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! JETS!!
@Me fail english?,
“People who insist you refer to them by nicknames that you’ve never heard anyone else call them. Ninja, you aint “Smooth” and I wont be calling you that. In fact, you are lame and I wont be calling you at all.”
AHAHAHA! Please tell me this didn’t actually happen. It reminds me of ol’ dude in Get on the Bus during the Shabooya roll call. He’s all, “Don’t call me junior, but you can call me Smooth”. LMFAO…you fail at being smooth just like the dancer who tried to do the Smooth Criminal lean at the VMAs.
@Cheekie,
lol@ that dancer. And yes, girl. Another wack tat having dude. I asked him why is “Big Man” tatted over your bicep. “Cuz that’s what they call me” “Who are they?” Negro, plz.
this is a good posting b/c living in NYC i think every other person should get clapped for doing any of the following:
1) talkin about personal ish on the phone all out loud. How many times have u heard “yea im bout to go see the lawyer so i can get my money from tyrone for these kids”
2) women who have no business having children. they are clearly mad at life and mad that they got themselves knocked up and treat the child as such.
2b) parents that cuss w/o any regard for their child being next to them and thus pass on their criminal behaviors. these lil bastards will likely end up robbing me at some point in the near future.
3) women who have zero feminine qualities. these women talk like men, are agressive like men, will fight u like men, and all that. does it count as beating a woman if u hit one of these???
4) ninjas who always tryin to hustle someone for something…NYC is full of these
5) women who say “i cant be friends w/ other women.” they fail to realize that there is something seriously wrong w/ them and don’t realize it. not all women are out to be b*tches and catty w/ you.
bout all i can think of now. there are plenty more but i will likely start getting mad if i think of all the rest.
@Freaknik,
“4) ninjas who always tryin to hustle someone for something…NYC is full of these”
So is Detroit.
@Freaknik,
That was some list. 2.b. sooo funny
@Freaknik,
“they are clearly mad at life and mad that they got themselves knocked up and treat the child as such”
I hate when a mom LOUDLY cusses out her kids on the train or in a store full of 2520′s.
In the words of Katt Williams: “That little ninja’s 6; hes supposed to like Skittles”
lol … what’s “umguferschlagen”?
@C.R.,
LOL…I googled it and the only results that come up are right here at VSB and Panama’s old blog. lmfao…
@Cheekie,
And I just read the shacking up blog that comes up. Funny as hell!
@Cheekie,
our esteemed neologist should have it patented … after figuring out what he is trying to say
militant gay people…you know the ones that like to keep testing you, just to see if your secretly a homophobe. yea. they suck.
religious nutcases. granted this group comprises over 90 percent of the human population, and theres a fair correlation between religious zealots, intolerance and irrationality.
@postmodern pwnage, and lastly, grammar nazis! I can understand ones frustration with people using text talk or slang too often, but really? does it matter if I use ‘me and you’ instead of you and I? language is constantly evolving, and I am sure what passes for formal language today was perhaps slang fifty years ago, so get a friggin grip already! I also notice that most of these group of people are only well versed in the english language, and perhaps thats them projecting their inabilities at communicating other languages? ok ok, too much psycho analysis, but they really suck as human beings. Some of them have the nerve to smugly correct individuals who arent native english speakers *sigh*
@postmodern pwnage,
religious nutcases.
I side-eye them ALL the time! I encountered some of these “Jesus Freaks” in South Beach. One of them were carrying a board that were listing all the types of sinners that were going to h-e-double toothpicks…and one of the types was monosexuals. Yep…that’s right…”monosexuals”.
So, I inquire (quite comically) on the meaning of the word because I had never heard it before. He says it’s someone that masturbates. Man, that guy was a genius! *sarcasm*
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/monosexual
Who’s kicking cats?! LOL! …And screaming on homeless people??… I’m sure that guarantees you a front seat on the express train to hell.
Alright, this one goes for the brothas, moreso than for the sistas. But I hate with a virulent and vigorously renewed passion when guys walk into the bathroom and go to the urinal right next to me, when there are clearly urinals that aren’t next to me.
The only thing worse than this (and it happened to me at the Red Lobster in Inglewood a couple of months ago) is when a guy walks right up to the urinal next to yours, doesn’t care, and then tries to hold a conversation with you that don’t include the words “Oh Sh*t! You on fire!” That’s about the only think I’m gonna hear you say when I’m pissin. That’s my “Me” time. I’m not tryin to hear or see anybody for about 30 seconds. That’s all that I ask. VSBs, we all know this rule right? How do grown @$$ men grow up without knowledge and internalization of this rule? I propose a constitutional amendment.
@CleverScreenName, welcome and sh*t
this is a great comment. hilarious and so so true…
[1] If you’re a few steps behind me and I hold the door open for you, and you don’t say or indicate “thanks.” Particularly irksome when it’s someone of the Caucasian persuasion. It’s not my JOB to hold the door for you, idiot, I’m being kind. When I’m kind, you need to be well-mannered and thank me. If not verbally, then at least with a nod, a hand-signal, something.
[2] Stopping my car to let you in and you don’t acknowledge it. Same principle.
[3] I judge black folks who say “good hair.” The forced miscegenation my foremothers endured manifesting itself in my hair texture does not translate to superiority.
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