Comment courtesy of Ana B from the Vindication post:
“somebody (a man) once told me “Stroke a man’s d*ck you have him for the night, Stroke his ego and you have him for life” I have found this to be true, even with the men that I have not been physically involved with. It truly is all about EGO”
***********************
No time like the present to share some truth and dispel some non-sense. Thanks Ana for the inspiration.
The male ego is a monster, similar to Thing from the Fantastic Four. Our ego makes us largely hardcore on the outside and conflicted and emotional on the inside.
True.
And what of the female ego? Well, that’s an 8-headed hydra that spits venom and eats midget children and poodles. It appears out of nowhere and then retreats into the night as quickly as it came, leaving a trail of destruction rivaled only by the government’s cockup in the wake of Hurricane Katrina…plus the Tuskegee Experiment.
I think that about sums it up.
I’ve always found it funny that women constantly refer to the male ego. Now sometimes it’s men’s fault. See comment above. And that’s well and good but if you want to see an actual fragile ego, just tell a woman “no” when she wants some stickball.
Actually, I don’t recommend it.
And why wouldn’t I recommend it? Good question.
Women are insane and a rejected woman really doesn’t know what the hell just happened to her, causing her to act out…insanely. You see, a woman’s guile and sexuality are her power, and she knows this. According to one of Aesop’s Unpublished Fables and her mama, “no man can resist the power of the woman.” So if a man rejects a woman’s sexual advances (which let’s face it, isn’t normal), women are forced into unfamiliar territory causing all kinds of trouble. Trust me. I’ve seen it.
I’ve said “no” to a woman who hadn’t earned the right to rip the runway. Her face morphed into an ugly version of Grace Jones. Of course, she then proceeded to tell me that I was gay and wasn’t ready for her while managing to gloss over the fact that she looked like a hyena.
See, even ugly heffas have fragile egos and they shouldn’t even have expectations in life. Bottom line is that the male ego may be fragile, but we’ve had practice in rejection so we learn to adjust. Men don’t like hearing “no” but its just part of the game to us. We like the chase anyway. The female ego on the other hand hasn’t had so much practice, rendering it worse and more easily afflicted with b*tcha*sness.
And like Puffy says, there’s no room for b*tcha*sness around here.
It was written.
-PANAMA
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{ 86 comments… read them below or add one }
I just want you to know…I got your back for the impending onslaught….
You can’t write about the fragile female ego all the while throwing body blows and headbutts at it!!
Still and yet though, I ummmm….*ahem*….agree…with every single word!!!
*ducks for cover*
yeah killa, i’m anxiously awaiting the responses with this. it feels like christmas eve and shit
Panama is right! We as women feel that our sexuality is our power and if a man rejects us sexually then we feel like “WTF just happened???”, “Is this Negro gay, an alien or just crazy”, but at the same time we know that we can get another man to accept our sexual advances, so our ego may be hurt, but not for too long.
I don’t know about that “not for too long thing.” I got a chick I rejected years ago that still takes jabs at me for saying no. Not that she’s any longer interested it’s just that her pride is still holding on to the fact that a man actually said “no” to her.
I had to chime in on this, and reluctantly agree with P (as I’m sitting on an estrogen sensitive time-bomb!) that once you hit them {women} with the one syllable “N” word, especially when they just KNOW they are undeniable, the pain is like a throbbing inflamation in the tonsils…you can’t see it…but you KNOW it’s there! Cuz it’s so hard too….ahem….swallow LOOK see!
love the pun… LMAO!
*flips hair*
I wouldnt know. ha!
No.. honestly, I wouldnt know. Most women tend to wait for visual signs of reciprocation before making a move. We also tend to do most of the choosing. I haven’t really gotten my ego shot down like that yet, because I just kind of accept.
Male ego is tender because men spend their entire lives struggling to uphold a universal image. Male ego is especially tender when they have insecurities they don’t allow themselves to confront.
Women are ALWAYS forced to confront their insecurities. Matter fact, most traits that are “female” are simply traits OF insecurity — proven when said bitchassness reveals itself in the men we date. (The traits that make a man quick to be called “bitch.” Any woman that’s been in the dominant role of a relationship will agree to this.) I can see why most men view the most women as one huge ego trip, because most women are raised insecure. It’s not really our faults.
We’re used to not being allowed to have an ego. While our ego is universally fragile in concentrated sectors — our sexuality, for instance — the male ego is an all-encompassing presence. Every day they’re faced with a standard, and every day they suppress “feminine” methods of self-confrontation so they can’t break free of their insecurities.
And you guys may deny it all you want
But every woman knows
that the BEST WAY to keep a man
is to continue to let him FEEL like a man.
It’s usually done in secret. But we let you get away with a lot of shit, because we love you.
Sorry, left one part out
Because if we dont, it’s so important to them that they will go to someone else to reclaim it.
“…we let you get away with a lot of shit, because we love you.”
That is complete truth if I’ve ever read it.
That goes both way toots.
I second that: “…we let you get away with a lot of shit, because we love you”. PREACH!
Yes, women do have strong egos…but a lot of us won’t show you just how bruised our egos are when “rejected”.
panama that is really your picture
I ain’t saying it is, but I ain’t saying it ain’t.
Hahahaha I hope it is. I heart it. Nice chain.
Male ego, female ego… The ONLY difference between the two is that society promotes one over the other.
It’s thanks to societal conditioning that
“… a woman’s guile and sexuality are her power, and she knows [actually, I'd argue, has been taught] this.
…So if a man rejects a woman’s sexual advances (which let’s face it, isn’t normal [or so we've been taught]), women are forced into unfamiliar territory causing all kinds of trouble.”
To say that women have no practice of rejection is a joke, right…? Like Ana said, “We’re used to not being allowed to have an ego” unless, of course, it comes to sex. And even then, it’s quite easily used against us… Girls and women through the ages have been called all variations on the word ‘whore’ for even daring to give in to her ‘ego’ in any situation deemed inappropriate by wider society.
So yes, when it comes to sex, the only realm in which we’re made to believe we have the power, the withholding or refusal of it tends to leave us feeling rejected. I mean, shit, take that away, and what the hell have we got…!!??
And even though I’m not one myself, I’m pretty certain that even “ugly heffers” have egos too.
I think women get plenty of practice with rejection in life, just not sexually b/c like Jess said, most women are doing the choosing anyway. Short of a crime, very rarely is a man saying I’m going to sleep with you and it comes to fruition all willy nilly.
That lends credence to my point. Because women do the choosing they’re usually going off two assumptions: 1) the man won’t say no; and 2) the man actually is interested in her. When a woman chooses a man for which to show her special places and he says “no, i’m good”, it’s a slap in the face to her sexuality and her logic. She’s let down her guard for this fellow and he’d rather watch Oprah. Dare I say that it’s embarassing?
For men, there’s no real calculus there. We want, y’all don’t. LOL. We keep trying and you keep shooting us down. It’s the order of things. Only thru perserverance do we get to see your nether regions usually. So we’re used to it.
“Girls and women through the ages have been called all variations on the word ‘whore’ for even daring to give in to her ‘ego’ in any situation deemed inappropriate by wider society.”
Not only that, but god forbid we take that ego out of our vaginas and into our appearances or our assets, both sexes — especially women — will be quick to put her “in her place” for being vain, cocky, bougie, etc. And let’s forget what happens if we SHOW our pride in our pussies. Show our pride in game. Men immediately narrow their eyes at you with a new interest, and you shift into an oversexual being. It’s hard.
Women give everything they have in the beginning. Sex is rarely a conquest or a simple need to spill the urge as it is an acceptance or invasion into our worlds. Most, if not all, of the women I know have learned to hold onto their guard as tightly as they could. Is ego and protection/self-preservation the same thing (for both sexes)?
oh, i’m 100 percent certain that ugly heffas have egos too. i blame jim jones and reagan for this.
I can co-sign. Ugly heffas have egos. But I blame men who will climb on top of just about anything human and female.
Egos of ugly heffas stem from insecurity. The more insecure, the more tender the ego…
often times, ugly heffas have the worst egos. especially when it comes to any type of sexual events. i’m going to assume its because all they ever get is just ass, since few would wife out a bootleg version of grace jones….
and to think all this time i thought keeping a man’s stomach full and balls empty was how you had him for life.
woe is me
Ugly, FAT heffas have the WORST egos.
TRUE, TRUE & TRUE! Fat & ugly chicks are usually the most agressive ones out there and the most vocal when they get turned down!
“And that’s well and good but if you want to see an actual fragile ego, just tell a woman “no” when she wants some stickball.
Actually, I don’t recommend it.”
WOW. Too true. Just last night I was out with this chick, hanging with friends at the bar. She asked for a kiss on the cheeck and I said no, just to erouse a reaction. She basically didn’t speak to me the rest of the night.
JH-thats because you have a godly ego…and i can sooooo see you doing something just to piss a piece of chocha off
You know I understand that UFH’s (Ugly Fat Heffas) have no other choice but to have inflated egos. Their egos are probably carefully contrived in an effort to over compensate for their Ugly-Fat-Heffaness. I get that… but it is still difficult to swallow seeing a UFH who looks like Quasimodo but is strutting like she just stepped off the set of the “Excuse me miss” video.
I once was rejected by a UFH (although I wasn’t trying to kick it to her). She dropped her phone on the floor of a club and I tapped her arm to let her know. This walrus had the audacity to yank her arm away and attitudinally scream out “No!” (just that one word) and briskly took off dragging her Ugly Fat wing-heffa (the UFH version of a wingman) with her. So, I kicked her phone. But, from that day forth I have carried the burden of this awful memory. UFH’s, I HATE YOU! *one tear falls*
Thank you for providing me with laughter this Wednesday morning. I am dying laughing because you kicked her phone. Can’t say I blame you.
Thanks Queen. I’m glad you understand me. I thought it may have been a bit childish but…I had to do something.
LOL! UFH??!! I’m using that from today going forward if you don’t mind. Did you actually kick the phone?
Yes, kicked it real good, too. UFH is all your’s. Lol
LMAO!!!! You kicked her phone at her….
She deserved to have her phone kicked!!! I needed that laugh this morning.
This walrus had the audacity to yank her arm away and attitudinally scream out “No!” (just that one word)
Oh Shit, my mascara is fucked up…I just pictured that shit
“No!”
LMao
I think a few of the comments are missing the point. p’s not saying that this behavior is exclusive with any particular type of woman…its ALL women, regardless of looks, size, and whatever other demographic you put out there
In my opinion, the male ego is much worse than it’s female counterpart. I think socially, women are bred to be a little tougher. In all honesty, we can’t open a magazine or turn on the television without seeing images that scream how obeselete we look. Either you’re not thin enough, pretty enough, young enough looking, your hair isn’t long enough, your make up isn’t done right, your clothes suck, etc, etc. We’re constantly being told that we need to change something about ourselves to be considered more socially acceptable, and more attractive to men. We compete with ourselves and each other for the attention from men and other women. Even when we don’t try to, there is a subconscious effort there to look a certain way when we’re out in public. That being said, since women are on a constant shift to remain relevant and sexually attractive, our ego is constantly under fire.
The male ego is hit in a similar way, but not nearly as often or as strongly. So long as a man is reasonably attractive, and has a decent enough personality and some form of a sense of humor, he is considered suitable. Ideally, a woman must bring way more than this basic package to the table to be graded highly in a male’s mind. I think men get it easy and are therefore have larger and more easily offended egos.
A lot of men pretend to be self assured and confident, but secretly seek validation, understanding, and acceptance from their partners JUST AS MUCH if not more than women do. Men sometimes come emotionally fragile beneath their tough exterior and seek constant attention in one way or another in order to feel secure in their relationship. ( mind you, I say RELATIONSHIP, not some random fuck type thing. )
I think this sets the stage for rejection sexually. A woman’s sexual prowess is the one thing she is confident and sure that a man will (most) always want. And I’m not immune, I know that if my boyfriend turns down my advances, he must be one) dying, or two) dead. Sex is the way that most men communicate their emotions with their partners, and wanting to fuck your mate is a man’s way of saying: ” Hey, I love you! ” For women, after being with someone for a while, you learn the language of his love making, and begin to relate sex to his desire for you as a woman. You sex drive may not be as high, so you tend to reject his advances, but his need and want for you speaks to your bond as a couple. A man that doesn’t want you is most often a man that doesn’t love you. That’s scary for a woman, and I don’t know about “acting insane” but if I was constantly rejected by my boyfriend when it came to sex, I’d definitely be scared.
Hm..
Devil’s advocate here
“We’re constantly being told that we need to change something about ourselves to be considered more socially acceptable, and more attractive to men… The male ego is hit in a similar way, but not nearly as often or as strongly.”
When a man wears jeans that are too fitted or finds a love story endearing, he’s homo. When a man shows any emotion in excess, aside from anger, he’s weak. when a man’s too pretty, hes homo. When he doesn’t want to fuck all the time, he’s homo. Granted, they get more freedom when it comes to opportunity.. their social pressures are insane, cuz women get away with a lot of shit for being women…
“So long as a man is reasonably attractive, and has a decent enough personality and some form of a sense of humor, he is considered suitable.” lol, I know a lot of reasonably attractive, funny men with decent personalities who always seem to fall short with the women they pursue. Ive had a few debates where they brought up great points — When women are reasonably attractive, funny with okay personalities, we have a much wider array of props to choose from to make ourselves MUCH more suitable to anyone else’s eyes. Heels, pushup bras, mascara, foundation, hair stylists, tips, the list can go on for days. Men have to play up what they have naturally, and should they lack what all women want, it’s harder for them to pretend.
Your last two paragraphs are interesting. Women do equate sex to affection, don’t we. Hm..
I see your point.
But most of these men want women who are exceptionally attractive with dynamic personalities and other very redeeming qualities. I constantly tell my males friends who are always getting turned down to maybe start asking women out who they may have considered homey.
I see it completely different. Where average looking women tend to get passed up completely by average looking men who desire to be with above average looking females. And like you said, without the make up, extensions, wonder bras and the other million things we see on TV and in magazines that basically insinuate that we’re not good enough just as OURSELVES, most average chicks with okay personalities and decent sense of humor don’t get nearly as much love and attention as their male counter parts who don’t have any of these amenities.
Think about it like this. On your own personal scale of attraction( 1 being completely unattractive, 5 being average looking, so on so forth ), you can rate a dude a 7. Chances are, if he’s a 7, he sees no problem going for a girl who’s a 10.
Now think of a woman who’d be considered a 5 or 6 ( naturally ). The very THOUGHT of approaching a dude who’s an 8 or 9 seems to be out of the question as far as society goes.
I’m not saying men don’t get shit just based on society’s standards for how their gender should behave, but I just feel like women take more of a hit as far as ego goes.
That touches upon a topic I came across at a forums board and started asking my friends — Even if you were an 8 female, would you ever REALLY date a 10? The consensus seems to be: “Girl, I’d fuck him, I’d chill with him, I’d trophy him. If he stayed under me and convinced me that he wouldn’t stray, MAYBE I’d wife him.. But I’ll never take him seriously enough to date him like that, because I know that there are women throwing themselves all over him.” Whether or not a woman’s a 5 or 6, women generally fear dating above their own ranking. Again, that raises the question: ego? Or self-protection?
There was an article that said men with spouses more attractive than they are will try harder to keep the relationship going. A man who’s a 7 will take RISKS going for a girl who’s a 10, but they will feel more comfortable approaching a woman whos a 7 or below. When it comes to general matters of approach, yes men take the hits of rejection better (sometimes — because “YOU WASN’T THAT FINE, ANYWAY BITCH!” is not an uncommon goodbye)… but women take on being in the passive role better.
Just to backtrack a bit.. champ’s previous post about how it all whittles down to sex (“was it better than mine”) when the man finds out he got played.. who’s sexual ego is more sensitive?
Also, my boy told me that he only actively hits on women 8 and up because if he’s going to get rejected ANYWAY, he might as well make it worth it. Nothing hurts more than getting rejected by somebody beneath you.
*Ponders*
Ok I’m back to being too present in these comments section.
Too fitted jeans = Homo
A man that loves his piece is not gonna cram it in some tight ass jeans for the sake of fashion…
what if I’m just tired? I can’t turn down sex if I’m tired? A man can’t get sleep? I’m more than glad to fuck you in a half an hour after this power nap. I’m just saying….
power nap. nonsense.
sleep when you’re dead
‘Tis sad but true… I’ve been told “I’m tired” (read: “No.”)the morning after, we’d been at it all night and my ego was bruised…
Face it ladies, we do believe that our pussy is all powerful and that’s true a lot of the time. Because most guys won’t turn you down, leading you to foolishly believe that no man can resist.
I honestly think that if a man is rejecting sex that a woman shouldn’t necessarily take it personally however they should definitely look at it carefully. Men aren’t just passing up the one thing we think about all day. There has to be a valid reason. I’ve taken the liberty of providing a few possiblities:
1. the guy is extremely sick (near death)
2. the guy is extremely tired (ie just ran twenty miles in soft sand)
3. the guy has better options (if you are 6 but your homegirl is an 8…sorry)
4. the guy suspects the girl to be a health hazard
5. the guy is just not feeling the girl (could be a personality thing too)
6. the guy suspects the girl will catch feelings
7. On rare occasions, the guy may not want to move too fast cause he is really feeling a girl(on some Jagged Edge “Meet me at the alter…” sh*t)
Not sure if this provides any value…
I think #3 is all too common.
Why settle for hamburger helper when your still full from filet mignon from the day before.
To add a couple more reasons…
1. The guy could have just had a sexual marathon with you less than 2 hours prior and still trying to recover from the hurt you put on him.
2. He could be GAY
3. He could be thinking about someone else.
#2 is all too real…
http://insidethemindofadeviant.wordpress.com/2008/04/10/i-couldnt-believe-this-happened/
I meant #1…
I have no experience with #2 but a friend of mine is dating someone who in my opinion is a little too effeminate and should be setting off all kinds of alarms…
mainly homo alarms.
number 6 happens a lot more often than people think
and whats so bad about catching feelings? God forbid a woman tells you she likes you, some guys run like she has the plague. (Disclaimer:This small rant does not include crazy bitches that say they love you after one date)
You have to “really, really” like someone for it to be considered catching feelings… Or so I’ve been told.
It’s the extra “really” that does it…
An interesting (and relatively short) read related to this discussion is – The Eligible Bachelor Paradox: http://www.slate.com/id/2188684/
its funny, i believe this to be true, but I’d substitute bachelor with bachelorette
Ego is a social construct, a monster created by our mothers and grandmothers, and aunts. As young girls our pussies are the one thing we are told to guard with our lives, its more precious than gold, (its the reason all you men dont want to be cursed with a female child, because you know the dirt you have done to women in your sexual past and you dont want daddy’s little girl to be refferred to as any version of whore, or imagine her doing the dirtiest thing that ever turned you on to another man. We are told, NO indoctrinated that our Vagina holds the secrets of the world, knows who really killed JFK and shit. So yes we have a HUGE VAGINA EGO from day one, and here you come and tell me NO my vagina is not good enough for you to insert your miniscule not erect non lasting longer than 3 minutes penis into. HELL YES Im going to be mad. It doesnt matter how FAT or Ugly, or if I only have one tooth in my mouth, stand on one leg, am bald and have a hump on my back. Because I was told from day one that my vagina was precious, that all, YES ALL MEN want it. And that I should die before I let anyone take it, and for me to give it away only to the ONE man I love. So who the hell are you to tell me NO! when I willingly offer it to you after my 6th shot of patron in slurred tones. Hell no, thats why your tires were slashed when you left the club!
wow I just fell in love with you i think
I get that a lot
Hey Ana! I LOVE your Vagina logic
.. and no Dyoung, Vagina Logic is not another oxymoron.
in fact, I should put that on a t-shirt
I would buy and wear that t shirt!
OMG, I’m so LOVING the Vagina Logic! I’m about to have that t-shirt made!!! lol
we’ll agree to disagree
So what you’re saying is that I’m right.
Yes, you are correct. However what makes this conversation even more interesting is the comments from the men. It’s like we (women) have no right, no cause to have an EGO. Like who the hell are we to have the nerve to think our Vagina’s are not the answer to everything. Especially since that is all we have been ever told. See my original post.
its not that you shouldn’t have egos…but the point of the entry was to point out that your (“womens”) ego definitely does exist, and can be a monster at times. the male ego is publicized, studied, written, and spoke about, while the female ego generally gets ignored. we’re just trying to shed some light
So the point of the entry wasn’t that even ugly heffers have egos…?
This wasn’t so much shedding light on the oft ignored female ego as bemusement by fact that it dares to rear its head (sometimes all eight of them) every now and then.
Jeez, anyone would think it caused gang and global warfare, mass genocide, indescriminate bloodshed…
Aw, see! How is it that things always comes back to the male ego!?
Exactly, When is the last time a woman’s ego caused thousands of American soldiers to loose their lives, get a president almost impeached? I believe never, even in mythology it was the male ego that caused the “launch of a thousand ships”
again a social construct… women are discouraged to show their ego’s (vagina or other) because if/when we do we are ACTING like MEN! And that is not a trait that most men want or look for in a mate so we are (again) indoctrinated to suppress it and keep it suppressed. So what you witness when one of these UFS’s goes off on you is years (generations) of retaliation for having to suppress something that Men in turn are encouraged and even fostered to display. No wonder she turns into an 8 headed hydra
I agree with most of what you’re saying, though I kind of feel like in an ideal world that is how women should consider themselves.
But what about the women that think of their vagina as a way to get what it is they want? Or heal some kind of other emotional wound by using the ” one thing men will always want “? I don’t think that’s ego at all, in fact it’s kind of sad. A lot of women use their vagina and sex as a way to feel accepted and loved by a man. So there’s a counter effect. How do we expect men to respect and cherish our pussies, when we’re renting them out to the highest bidder? Maybe the reason women are getting so “mad” when they get turned down is because secretly alot of women are insecure and feel like their pussies are the only way to really get a man to ” like ” them and pay attention to them. Women are out and about every day cheapening the value of their pussies by given it to men who frankly, don’t deserve it. Just some food for thought.
LOL! Preach!!
P.S. Great Blog!
Ana, your “vagina logic” basically sums it up. As Oaktown’s 357 would say, “Juicy Got Him Crazy” (I know that came from no where but I always wanted to reference 357 for some reason). The thing is, once a man refuses your “trump card”, that’s when the female ego is shattered to bits and pieces.
I’ve done it on occasion and I actually encourage my homeboys and my younger brother to do it every now and then when a chick starts to think that her shyt don’t stink.
Ok, Monk…I can’t necessarily agree with the ego being “shattered” but it is definitely affected.
I was giving some thought to Ana B’s quote, which inspired this discussion: “Stroke a man’s d*ck you have him for the night, Stroke his ego and you have him for life.” I would like to add a little pearl of wisdom for the fellas…Stroke a woman’s ego and you’ll have her for one night, but stroke ‘that thang’ for one night and you’ll have her for life.
Damn… that’s sad… And sadly, it’s true in some cases…
Ana B, to answer your question from above: “When is the last time a woman’s ego caused thousands of American soldiers to loose their lives, get a president almost impeached?” Condoleezza Rice (not the cause exactly but a strong argument can be made that she has aided in the cont’d casualties in Iraq partly due to ego) and Monica Lewinsky (almost single-handedly took down Slick Willy Clinton)– both happened in the last decade.
On another note, it has been an age old custom for man to court woman. It is our job to impress a woman and reinforce her sense of femininity. In other words, man has been conditioned to pander to the female ego (or notion of self-importance) in order to prove that he is worthy of her attention. In these situations it is the woman who is in the position of power. As men we are subjected to her whims and expected to open doors, offer our jacket on cold nights, pay for dates, bring flowers, etc. Gestures like these undoubtedly feed the ego. Many of the ladies in this discussion are admitting that you have been conditioned/encouraged to respect your bodies and understand punani-power– and that because of this conditioning and understanding of the sanctity of the female body, she is justified when unleashing the ego-tripping, 8-headed hydra after her sexual advances are rejected. But at the same time, you are also saying that the woman’s ego has been profoundly discouraged and suppressed and that when it does appear you “are acting like men.” I think that the female ego has been present and at the forefront of all male and female interaction– and as the Champ stated it has just been ignored. It is definitely time to shine some light on it. Good looking out Panama and Champ.
you think so? alright, so it’s been ignored by males? by media? by Chimps in Africa? *sigh* Perhaps we should hire a street team and publicist to get the word out.
don’t ever disclaim, it will be your downfall. “not the cause exactly” I believe that means it was not her ego i.e. she was not the cause. And as for Monica, She was not the cause either, again another male ego at play. Bill shouldn’t of been messin w her in the first place…another discussion for another blog perhaps.
and to your other note, men aren’t doing their jobs… at least not any man within a 60 mile radius of me. Who are these courting men? where can I meet one?
I agree with Wise Diva, we need to get a street team out to post bills and hand out promotional flyers to get the word out.
Ana, I feel what you are saying but I will explain my point as briefly as I can… C. Rice obviously didn’t “push the button” but as the National Security Advisor her continuous promotion and justification of the war has aided in 3 thousand american casualties (and yes reputation, legacy and ego are all involved). With respect to my reference to Monica Lewinsky, you are right Bill played himself but, she was an eager opportunist who had consensual relationship with another adult (whom she knew was in a relationship). She became responsible for Bill’s pseudo-demise when she ran back to her homegirl to gossip about their relationship. The next thing you know…it’s a media frenzy. You asked about a when the last time a woman “almost got a president impeached”–technically Clinton was impeached.
I c your point… next time lets just put some gloves on and duke it out…
LOL! You’re on!
LOL, again I feel like all of this is in a perfect world type of scenario. I don’t know about ya’ll but as a twenty one year old female, it’s only once in a great while I meet a dude who is going to do the courting described in your reply. Before I got in my relationship, the general idea from men was like: ” You gonna let me hit? No? Well be gone, bitch. Next. ”
I’ve always had a sense that men were something that all women were in deep need of, and if you found a ” good one ” it was up to you as a woman to do whatever was needed to keep him. It’s like when you meet a Black man with an education and a good job over the age of 25. He knows he’s the shit. He knows YOU know he’s the shit. HIS ego is at the forefront because the general consensus is that he’s the ” good man ” you’ve been waiting for your whole life.
Even look at the media, it’s so many shows where men are allowed to pick from a large group of women which one will be his match. And I’m not saying that these reality shows set the standard, but at the end of the day, they are watched by millions, and the majority of the audiences are WOMEN. Women see nothing wrong with cheapening one self and becoming one out of twenty different pussies he could possibly fuck. I don’t know, it’s all so backwards to me. I’m not saying women have no egos whatsoever. But as it stands, in the year 2008, our ego continues to be out shined by a male’s.
great point, I think we can agree that this discussion relates to how/when the female ego comes in to play vs the male ego. It’s cool to see the different perspectives though, you know?
Given that you’re a 21yo, I’m not surprised you’d have these experiences. Unless you’ve been dating guys 3-5+ years older than you. A significant amount of guys in your age range at still in the “sex is the ultimate prize” phase.
Though in my experience, the girls in your age group also tend to be too immature for me (23yo guy).
So Destroy, I’d take your point about courtship a bit further. Even in that context, with the female ego being especially catered to in this now outdated social phenomenon, it ultimately boils back down to a male ego at the center of the equation.
The female’s so-called ego was stroked by men who were in competition with one another to win the affections of a female target as a prize. To ultimately trump a male opponent in the ultimate showdown, to win the female as a matrimonial (read: sexual) conquest. The woman in this way is merely a token, an object of sorts. Her ego in the game of courtship is not what is really at stake. Yes, vanity (what I see is the common trait of the female ego in all its various modes) is ultimately a throwaway side effect for the female to take pleasure in within this clash of the male egos.
Ultimately however, the so-called female ego is a mere consequence of the more primary, war-starting, nation-making, enterprising seed of all social existence as we know it– the male ego. In fact when I think about, I bet Adam ate the apple cause he couldn’t handle the idea of Eve knowing everything without him knowing everything too!
Treezy F. Baby, Please say the baby! I like you’re theory and I think it does hold water…just not sure if I am completely on-board (yet)… but it is definite food for thought. Thanks!