One of my favorite television shows is Family Guy. This show is chock full of social commentary and enough in your face ignance to make 12 Black people proud.
I usually watch at least one episode a day since you can find an episode on any number of networks. Last night I came upon one of my favorite episodes where Peter becomes the host of his own news segment, “what really grinds my gears.”
Hilarity ensues.
For those that don’t watch the show (may God have mercy on your soul) or who haven’t seen that episode (if you’re a fan, you’ve seen that episode) or just have no clue what “grinding one’s gears” means (it’s not pr0n related), it’s those things that happen that agitate your or piss you off royally. Basically, it’s just things that annoy the living smurf out of you.
Well, that got me to thinking about things that personally grind my gears.
Allow me to share, mmkay?
Mmkay.
These People – Excerpted from a GChat convo last week with Nikiloveli:
me: without telling you what happened exactly
but you know what grinds my gears
when people say stuff like, “we really shouldn’t do x…” when they actually mean “YOU really shouldn’t do x…” since its implied that they’d never do it in the first place.
since, ya know, they’re telling you that “we” need not do it
Niki: yes, i can see how that hypothetical situation would be hypothetically annoying as hypothetical shit
me: yeah. hypothetically, i want to stab hypothetical people who do that with rusty barncacles
ya know, hypothetically.
Niki: whoa, now. you have to be careful in those hypothetical situations, lest we have to switch adjectives…
to “allegedly”
me: LMAO but that really grinds my gears
Niki: point taken
Yep, that grinds mine gears.
People who say things like “we need to talk” and then proceed to say, “not now”. I mother*cking hate people who do that. True story – I had a chick actually say to me once, “we may need to talk about something later on.” Now what’s the first thing any able bodied male is going to think upon hearing this?
In my head: “Her period’s late. F*CK. I knew I should have gone for the pearl necklace.”
So what do I do? I kirk out and say that if we MAY need to talk about it later than we probably DO NEED to talk about it now. Turns out she just wanted to have a talk about her feelings for me, which, went pffffffffffffft after she tried to put me on emotional hold over some dumbness.
Word to Petey Jakes, if you ever want me to hate you…say some stupid sh*t like that to me.
Word.Life.
Indecisiveness at McDonald’s. Die b*tch. The menu’s been pretty much the same since pterodactyls were chasing tyrannosaurus booty. If you have to think about it, like for real for real, you need Jesus and two cans of WD-40 to remove the foot that I’d like to put straight up your hiney.
And to piggyback –
Folks who don’t know what they want, but know what they don’t want. So let me get this right, I’m supposed to continue to offer suggestions until we reach something you’re not opposed too? Yeah the f*ck no. If you can’t come up with a suggestion, go eat cat food, beeyotch.
No public bathroom etiquette. Proper public restroom etiquette has two major tenets: 1) There is no discussion at the urinal until both parties have finished shaking and flushed. 2) There should always be a one stall buffer between sitting parties unless the one-stall buffer cannot be maintained due to over occupancy issues.
If you don’t respect the bathroom G-code, you are dead to me and should go one yourself in traffic.
Woosah.
So, those are just a few things that grind the great Panamanian’s gears. Good folks of VSBville, what grinds your gears??
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 3
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{ 441 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m with you on most of that.
i hate when people say, “HUH?” when you ask them a question. I have a semi retarded coworker that always acts like he doesn’t hear what you say, when you very well know he only wants 4 more seconds to give you some stooopid answer.
people who play out the superstition too much. my best friend is known for this. “don’t scratch your belly when you’re pregnant, you’ll get stretchmarks” “don’t split poles” “never open the umbrella in the house” once in a while is find, but i still don’t have all this “bad luck” that is to follow me for breaking these rules
people who complain at a fast food restaurant! unless they gave you frozen fries with salt, please shut up and eat your dollar menu meal. you just paid ONE dollar for it, why are we going back THRU the drive thru because, “you want more bacon for you jr bacon cheeseburger??” i’m sure they spit in her food.
“oh i had something to tell you….umm, forget about it, i’ll just….”
arrrrrghhh, you know you have to tell me now, cuz i’ll be wondering if you wanted to confess your secrets or ask me to pass the juice.
ppl who can’t try something new!! chicken tenders is the same everywhere, have some pad thai or some sushi! geez! put down the chicken alfredo!!
LOL @ “people who play out the superstition too much”
this happened to me just yesterday!! i purposefully stepped on the back of a friend’s shoe (cuz i thought it’d be funny) and this fool was like “what did you do that for?? now tap on my back 3 times”. WTF. are you serious?? i couldn’t believe him. ol raven simone very superstitious lookin boy
@Gem-balaya,
*DEAD* @ this whole post
@jana.love,
hate when people say, “HUH?” when you ask them a question. I have a semi retarded coworker that always acts like he doesn’t hear what you say, when you very well know he only wants 4 more seconds to give you some stooopid answer.
i do this all the time. yep, it really annoys people.
@charli skipper,
i don’t even repeat my question, i just say, “YOU HEARD ME DUMB#&”
he knows i really don’t like his dumb butt. but i bet you he starts to answer my question!!
@jana.love,
“people who complain at a fast food restaurant! unless they gave you frozen fries with salt, please shut up and eat your dollar menu meal. you just paid ONE dollar for it, why are we going back THRU the drive thru because, “you want more bacon for you jr bacon cheeseburger??” i’m sure they spit in her food.”
LOL I am SOOOO guilty of that! It’s not about that measly dollar- it’s about the principle!
I had ordered a dollar cheese burger (well, in case you didn’t know McD’s ^ the price because of the recession- it’s now $1.19…and the guy reminded me of that when I ordered lol) with extra pickles (I love pickles). That’s an extra $0.22 or so!
I’m riding to my destination. About 10min in, I decide to unwrap that yellow, greasy package and feast on my burger when -alas- there were no pickles to be found!
I had 2 options:
1. keep rolling, since I was already 1/2 way to my
relatives house, or
2. spin around to get my $0.22 worth of pickles.
You know I had to do the ignant thing and whip my whip around to get my meal fixed! I was nothing short of polite, and the lady totally understood, but I as I rode away I had to wonder if biting into those few pickles was going to outweigh how foolish I felt for turning around.
It did.
@Lili,
Lol. I generally don’t complain at restaurants cuz I eat like a generalist. Rare, well-done, two strips or four strips of bacon, I generally will eat it
. Plus I used to be a waitress so I know what some ppl do once they get your plate back in the kitchen!
But I aint mad at ppl who go back. They only charge you a dollar for a McChicken, cuz that’s all it’s really worth. McDonald’s isn’t in the business of doing favors. So you might as well get your money’s worth.
I was rolling my eyes at this family that refused to sit down in a non-booth on Mother’s Day/Graduation Sunday at Red Lobster’s as if they were expecting a higher level of service…from Red Lobster. lol
@Lili,
LOL I am SOOOO guilty of that! It’s not about that measly dollar- it’s about the principle!
still, i’d rather go without the extra pickle than go with the extra pickle marinated in saliva
@The Champ, “still, i’d rather go without the extra pickle than go with the extra pickle marinated in saliva”
and the extra gas money.
@Dope Fiend,
Riiight?
I am with jana.love, I don’t like food complainers in general…
@The Champ,
we had to swing back around once because the lettuce on her double stack was really really white and she wanted one that was green.
i was like, wtf? NOW you think about nutrition and healthy servings of greens?? DUDE you’re eating wendy’s!!
arghhhh
@The Champ,
Meh. Honestly all the food is pretty fucked up. They’ll stick boogers in your fries for no reason at all. It’s just the cost of doing business
I forgot where there was a statistic somewhere of how many pounds of rat feces Americans eat per year. It was pretty high, esp for chocolate eaters
@The Champ,
haha yup im nice to whoever is handling my food people be doin strange thing behind the scene with yo food i kno i used ta do fast food.
@Lili,
Co-sign with The Champ.
Lili, if you haven’t seen Road Trip, you should. You’ll behave differently next time.
@jana.love,
“don’t scratch your belly when you’re pregnant, you’ll get stretchmarks”
I heard this was true b/c you scratching stretches your skin out and its already growing by the minute. Nope, too vain to ever try this out and see if its just a superstition. I’ont want my tummy looking like Tony the Tiger
@Luvvie,
with ample moisturizing of the belly, the skin will stretch without stretch marks.
my friend DID NOT scratch her belly and went crazy when they showed up!! i told her its because she kept her damn belly dry as hell. not only that, but some ppl get it, some don’t!! it’s life.
i read your post, hilarity ensued… thanks
i cant stand:
(1) known ignorance
(2) people who think they know everything, ’cause they clearly don’t
(3) people who use big words for no reason or use them incorrectly
(4) people who make MY business their business
(5) people who say they are gonna do something and don’t or are gonna be somewhere at a certain time and aren’t [excluding the 10-min/common 'CP' Time window or an emergency]
(6) people who say they are good at something but aren’t [and vice-versa]
(7) people who talk a lot but have nothing to say
saying that made me feel better about their annoying existence… i now wish they kick rocks instead of boulders…
thanks
@Jay_Delicious, i call foul on #6 thats not really true…lmao
the number one thing that grinds my gears, people are the first to say they are grown and act like a child. not like they are 5 or something when its still “cute” or something like that but their ego gets hurt and they have this overwhelming desire to make a scene to protect their ego. (unfortunately what they dont realize it makes them look like more of a d*ck)
I feel really strongly about this. if you wanna be an adult and be in charge, cool but that nonsense…is unforgivable (hope someone breaks both their ankles like the crazy chick in Misery)
Shouts to my man Stewie.
@ESQuared,
i feel as if most grown ppl don’t go around telling the world that they’re grown…they just act it.
so as soon as i hear ppl start off with, “i’m grown, i could…..blah blah blah irks me.
@ESQuared,
I just hate when “grown” people feel the need to repeatedly remind me that they are in fact GROWN! If you wee that d@mn mature, you wouldn’t have to d@mn near get it tat’d on your tongue you ignit b@stard! I SWETTAGWT!
give thineself demise!
*inhales deeply*
WOO(muhfuggin)SAH
@ESQuared, yea it is… i hate when u do it cause i think ur telling the truth but aren’t…
1. Willful ignorance- its one thing to be ignorant, its another to exclaim it with glee. “I don’t know a thing about (insert topic) and I’m sorry you have to help people like me. Teehee ”
2. Loud eaters- Chew with your mouth shut
3. People who think they are entitled to things. Kicketh rockeths.
4. People who make a scene for absolutely no reason. – I attended my cousin’s graduation and the xx chromosome 2 or 3 rows behind me stood up and was asked to sit down by the guy that sat behind her. The following is almost verbatim. ” Oh h*ll naw, you not the boss of me” looks at her peeps ” This muhfukah just tried to tell me what ta do, move and lemme change my seat befoe I have to go off on this muhfukah, gone try n tell me what to do he is not the boss of me hmph” . SMH. We’re at a graduation for sobbing out loud the only time to be completely uncouth is when they call your loved ones name.
5. Fake people.
@Nola Darling,
We’re at a graduation for sobbing out loud the only time to be completely uncouth is when they call your loved ones name.
i LURVE it.
@Nola Darling,
something got left off of #3.
People who always ask for the hook up. I don’t mind helping out but there’s a line that must be drawn.
@Nola Darling,
and then they get mad when you can’t do it!! i work at a bank, you don’t need id when you come in, i’ll put your check in without a hold, but what more do you want?????? FREE MONEY!!!
GTFOHWTBS!!
@jana.love,
“GTFOHWTBS!!”
I am in tears right now.
@jana.love,
“GTFOHWTBS!!”
I’m trying to figure out how I knew what this what with no hesitation.
@Nola Darling,
People who always ask for the hook up.
Why did this make me think of the scene in the 40-yr old virgin when Jay and that short funny guy from Soul Plane got into it over a possible “hook-up”.
Well, aim high, Willis! Aim high!
Hilarious!
@Nola Darling,
LOL. Your graduation story reminded me of smthg that happened to me on Sunday. I’m a pretty polite person and I generally dislike confrontations. But like most people raised in the hood, I don’t shy away from them either.
My sister is walking across the stage and I move up close to get a photo of her while she walks. This will take all of 30 seconds and I fully intend to sat down once I’m done.
Don’t you know these two harpies behind me say “EXCUSE ME!!” all aggressive-like and the older one actually swings her cane at me?! On everything I love, had she been under the age of 70 I would’ve grabbed the cane and threw that isht at her. Then she would’ve gotten up to punch me and we’d probably be fighting.
Which all leads me to smthg that grinds my gears….
-People that tough talk and arent ready to fight. Most people are cooperative if you speak to them respectfully. So unless your final objective is to square off, save the trash talk for a basketball court.
@Me fail english?,
“-People that tough talk and arent ready to fight. Most people are cooperative if you speak to them respectfully. So unless your final objective is to square off, save the trash talk for a basketball court.”
This is how many a fool got their taints handed to them! Back the eff up ‘fo you get smacked the eff up!
@Me fail english?,
Don’t you know these two harpies behind me say “EXCUSE ME!!” all aggressive-like and the older one actually swings her cane at me?! On everything I love, had she been under the age of 70 I would’ve grabbed the cane and threw that isht at her. Then she would’ve gotten up to punch me and we’d probably be fighting.
so basically you got punked by an 80 year old?
@The Champ,
Yes. Yes, I did.
@Me fail english?,
Dont even get me started on rude old fogies. I’ve wanted to fight a coupla geriatrics in my time but my home training won’t let me. Curses!
@Luvvie,
for real old people go hard at my office we joke when we read tha police blotters cause half of the offenders are over 50 yrs old lol. betta watch out for old otis “gettin ready ta take ya down booooooy” dam Martin was the shizzzzle back in tha days
@Me fail english?,
On everything I love, had she been under the age of 70 I would’ve grabbed the cane and threw that isht at her.
*dead*
@Nola Darling,
2. Loud eaters- Chew with your mouth shut
i almost broke up with my ex over this.
seriously.
i would contemplate a break up as well. it’s a disgusting habit you should break by the time you’re about 3 or so.
@Gem-balaya,
Amen!
@Carver The Great!,
ALMOST broke up with an EX? so you dropped her, but not for the reason listed above? mmkay!
I HAVE left a dude (or 4) behind poor table manners! I mean 1 dude was on the cusp of drooling he was chewing so gap mouthed! and had the nerve to talk to me with his lips akimob! I was disgusted and he was all “baby you don’t have to pick your food in front of me”..I held in my dry heave long enough to politely leave him sitting in the restaurant…**gags at the recollection**
JEEBS be a JUICY MOUTHED MAN! ((BARF))
@Nola Darling,
“2. Loud eaters- Chew with your mouth shut”
This actually makes my skin crawl. no joke. iCantiCant!!!
@Nola Darling,
the xx chromosome 2 or 3 rows behind me
Lol dead @ xx chromosome. I used to…no I still refer to males (not real men) as dem people with y chromosomes for decoration. You would swear by how ignant act they all have trisomy in chromosome 21. LOL only the biology freaks will get that joke.
@Blue Skyez,
Does this mean Down Syndrome? Heh, I feel a lil smarter today.
@Me fail english?,
ding ding ding! you must be a biology freak too! *high fives*
I actually have a series on my blog called “You Know What Grinds my Gears”. And thats my FAVE episode of Family guy. It’s also the one where Stewie gets drunk and crashes the car.
Anyway, here’s some self-plagiarism
*People that list on their online profiles that their favorite books are “The Bible & The Sex Chronicles”. – How can you type that out without giving yourself a major side-eye? I mean REALLY in the same sentence and breath? How are you going to be quoting the book of Job in one breath, and reading about blow jobs on the other? NOT whats hot in the streets or frigid in the gutter. It is an oxymoron, and you definitely need a gang of people.
*P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP (my superhero English professor alter ego) weeps every time I see this. The blatant disregard for the rules of grammar, syntax and sentence structure is just unacceptable. I am not sure of its purpose but it is hella obnoxious. The tweens started this net speak, but I’ve seen grown people write whole paragraphs (or even emails) that look like this, and nothing grinds my gears more. Someone on my friend’s list on Facebook AlwAy5 wr1t3s h3r stAtu5e5 like that, and I am so tempted to defriend her. I just want her to pack her eSh*t and GO! She is bringing down my Facebook property value and I am thisclose to removing her from my eLife.
@Luvvie,
Is this person really a friend if their status updates look like a Boggle game board with a dice thrown in for effect?
@Nola Darling,
No she isn’t my friend. She’s on my Facebook friends list though. But one ofthese days, she gon find herself blocked for this crime against English
@Luvvie, for this I am your stan….
“I just want her to pack her eSh*t and GO! She is bringing down my Facebook property value and I am thisclose to removing her from my eLife.”
@Luvvie,
“*P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP ”
I loathe this shat with all of my being! I also can’t stand it when people use ‘there’ instead of ‘their’ or ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ or ‘should of’ instead of ‘should have’ – Ugh!
@YGB,
Ah yes. Add to the list accept/except. *sigh* We need better English teachers and less dependence on MS Word
LOL i used to spend sooooo much time figuring out if i should use Effect or Affect. it was always an internal conflict for me (until i had to “teach” this in my grammar/style class in college) and i feel like ALL higher cognitive mammals (read: humans) should think before they type.
@Gem-balaya,
hell yea that still trips me up but i suck and grammer/ spelling anyways. spell check is my homie.
@YGB,
My absolute worst (and I’ve seen it done in Movies captions AND newspapers) is “it’s” and “its”…
The Dow Jones is going through a rough time. It’s value just plunged 110 points
So you mean to tell me, It is value went down 110 points? What does that even mean. Ugh! It irritates me to the nth degree… (n limit going towards infinity)… *rolleyes*
@Luvvie,
“AlwAy5 wr1t3s h3r stAtu5e5″
You dun noe it took me a while to figure out what that said. How old is she, I thought people left that stupidity in high school!
@Dope Fiend,
Anyone over the age of 7 should not think it’s clever to change letters for numbers that look similar. And since 7 yr olds aren’t allowed on FB, this lets you know she is TOO grown for that rubbish & jabbajantis!
BTW, she’s 22. *sadness*
@Luvvie, LMAO, my sister has a friend who writes like this. We send each other her statuses 3x a week. I really do want to put a big arse e-viction notice on her wall. Just get off my home page!!!
Another FB related transgression that grinds my gears is when people have statuses like this:
3 parties, hanging out with Common, and Miami next week! All this while writing 3 papers, I love my LIFE!!!!!!
Howe, sit down.
h0lL@!!!!
no ma’am. you sit down.
@Gem-balaya, i’m sorry, did i call out your facebook status? LOL.
@overit,
Clearly u did lol
girl please. i never have anything interesting going on in my life. there is nothing to ever brag about lol
@overit,
YES! The people who make all their Facebook statuses self-*ss kissing really make me wanna roundhouse kick them in the spleen. Sat yo braggadocious self down. Jeebs be some humility for you.
@Luvvie,
*P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP
OW it hurts my eyes!!!!
@Luvvie, on a similar note, i hate when people purposefully misspell words in their facebook status or other e-updates.
ex.: muzick….really?!?! it’s not like you’re saving time by cutting out words, just spell MUSIC.
ahhhhh….serenity now!
@Luvvie,
“*P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP”
YES. Why does this exist? Like, what Godforsaken heathen invented this?
Why is it cool? Why is it done even thought it seems like it takes way more time than regular typing?
@Luvvie,
“P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5. TypoCOP (my superhero English professor alter ego) weeps every time I see this. The blatant disregard for the rules of grammar, syntax and sentence structure is just unacceptable. I am not sure of its purpose but it is hella obnoxious. The tweens started this net speak, but I’ve seen grown people write whole paragraphs (or even emails) that look like this, and nothing grinds my gears more. Someone on my friend’s list on Facebook AlwAy5 wr1t3s h3r stAtu5e5 like that, and I am so tempted to defriend her. I just want her to pack her eSh*t and GO! She is bringing down my Facebook property value and I am thisclose to removing her from my eLife”
I cant take it. My 18yr old sister does this same sh!t. I’m like go the he!! on with that. I cant read that sh!t.
@Luvvie, P3OPl3 whO wr1T3 LiK3 ThI5.
I had never seen this until I friended a younger cousin of mine…he’s in college so I gave him a pass…..I had no idea this was a common phenomenon since all my other Facebook friends are old heads like me.
1. pple who are stingy and/or cheap
i.e. pple that order food for delivery and count their amount to the penny and never give up $ for a tip.
2. pple who hide an insult in a compliment
3. pple that are overweight but think they can tell other pple what/how to eat
4. pple that use the phrase “you know what I’m sayin” like 10x in one sentence and then on top of it don’t ever really say anything….
@maria,
In addition to Mr. “Know what I’m sayin’”, the people who always start a sentence with, “Tell me why…” as if we can help them!
@maria, “1. pple who are stingy and/or cheap
i.e. pple that order food for delivery and count their amount to the penny and never give up $ for a tip.”
I have a friend like this, so I find myself covering up her by leaving a lil extra on the tip. Do NOT go out to eat if you cannot leave a tip. And stop looking for reasons to subtract for it (i.e. your water glass was half empty and she didn’t refill it fast enough).
@maria,
“4. pple that use the phrase “you know what I’m sayin” like 10x in one sentence and then on top of it don’t ever really say anything….”
The. Worst. EVER.
@maria,
“pple who hide an insult in a compliment”
The only thing worse than a passive aggressive person is a passive aggressive person that thinks they’re clever. smh
@Me fail english?,
Yes- those who put LOL or an emoticon after an insult. If you want to insult me, insult me dammit!!! But that passive aggressive LOL e.g. “You’re great, except for your weight LOL!” Grrrrr!!!!
@maria,
1. pple who are stingy and/or cheap
i.e. pple that order food for delivery and count their amount to the penny and never give up $ for a tip.
bad tippers are just bad people in general.
@The Champ,
i despise that. but i make a name for myself in a good restaurant. they know me and know i tip well, so i have no problem asking for a favor or sending something back.
but the mofos i go to eat with, will complain about EVERYTHING on the menu and they only put the exact amt, i really hope they spit in their food.
my friend’s mom once removed some HAIR and put it in her drink to get a free one!! lol.
another guy i met at the bar, was super sweet, made a good deal of money, around 60k, working on his masters, good guy. ending the night…his tab came, $31.67…you know this fool put $31.67 on his card??? yeah, NO, you can’t have my number, cheap sucker!!
@jana.love,
I’m curious to know how you even knew his salary before he got your digits???
@The Champ,
yea ima a broke a$$ ni99 but i sure do tip good. except at the strip club lol then ima bad tipper
@maria,
2. pple who hide an insult in a compliment
this is the best comment ive ever read from someone named maria
@The Champ,
Of course it is, Humpty (my favorite egg-headed Pittsburghian).
Tee hee. I hope no gears were ground in that statement
@maria, i always tip, primarily because i used to waitress in Pittsburgh & Atlanta and i remember what it was like to get $2.17/hour and literally rely on your tips to make a decent living. And this isn’t because it was ages ago, the idea was that they payed you $3/hr less than minimum wage and your tips were supposed to take care of the rest. But in California, because of the cost of living, waitresses do NOT rely on tips to make more than minimum wage. So, I tip conservatively more often than not and i tip generously when the service is outstanding. But tipping in general doesn’t make sense to me. Why am I padding your salary? I realize it’s more of an American custom to show your appreciation for service (cuz they sure as h*ll don’t do it in europe), but now everyone wants a tip: starbucks, subway, the gelatto spot. When does it stop? Not to mention the delivery fee for Pizza Hut is now $3 in Los Angeles, so my tip is a dollar or less. The TET has made me a stingy mofo.
I concur on the whole list!
My list includes:
People who sit right next to me in a movie theatre/train/room and there are tons of seats available. I don’t understand this and it just happened to me today. There was a room with about 50 seats and 20 people and this one guy took the seat right next to me.
Constant indecisiveness at restaurants – People who never know what they want and take forever to decide even though we go to that spot all of the time.
Guys who ask me what I want to do on a date and then veto all of my answers until I pick something that they want to do. I went on a date with a guy a few weeks ago and he asked me what type of food do I want. I say Thai and then he pauses and then repeats the question like I didn’t give an answer. I ask him what he wants and he says anything. We go back and forth for about 10-15 minutes until he says that he wants to go for burgers. Why didn’t he just say that to begin with?
People who pay less than their share at restaurants or want to split the bill evenly when they ordered a lot more than everyone else.
People who don’t know how to have a good time when they go out. They’ll still come out, but have an attitude or try to bring everyone else down.
@Leila,
“Guys who ask me what I want to do on a date and then veto all of my answers until I pick something that they want to do”
This guy TOTALLY grinds my gears. He asks me what I want to eat. I said, I like everything but Italian, and if that’s what you really want I can still find smthg to eat on the menu.
So he says he’s down for anything. Bet. Japanese? No. Turkish? Ew. Well wtf do you like? He says “Real food.” Which I took to mean a diner and he was happy as a clam. That was our last date.
@Me fail english?,
@both yall omg i HATE these people in general.
i made up a rule that the person who is constantly shooting down suggestions has to come up with the same amount of suggestions or more to compensate for shooting down all of mine.
@tnt,
i made the kids i babysit do this and this translated into my reg. life too. kids are always “bored” and when one wants one thing and the other one doesn’t, they have to suggest something, or else guess what we doing? the actual suggestion. shoot.
@Leila,
“People who pay less than their share at restaurants or want to split the bill evenly when they ordered a lot more than everyone else.”
OMF! yes! I want to stab these people in teh eye!
Why did I go out last weekend and end up spending 70 f*cking pounds on drank i never drank! KMFT!
@Leila,
“People who pay less than their share at restaurants or want to split the bill evenly when they ordered a lot more than everyone else.”
Yup@ In H.S., we all go to eat and one of my friends basically said “YES” when the waitress asked for his order. That fool ordered like 5 courses while some folks only ordered a salad. Bill comes.
Him: “So let’s split the bill evenly”
Me: “The Devil is a LAH! You ate your common sense with that last dish.”
Nope. iCan’t and iWon’t.
@Luvvie, OMG I remember that night! Besides his tight wallet and tighter pants, I remember him buttering that one roll out the bread basket like, at least 11 times. So basically, he ate a stick of butter with a little bread on top. Heart attack game proper
@Kindred Smile,
LMAO! As we all looked on with our soups and salads
@Leila,
hell yea i hate when people sit right next to you and there is hella open seats back in my high school days we either look hella mean or take up hella room so they wouldnt even think of sittin nex to you. I hate when people do that in a empty parking lot and wanna park right next to ya car unless we have the same car scuuuuud ova beeezy.
LMAO @ “The menu’s been pretty much the same since pterodactyls were chasing tyrannosaurus booty.”
gear grinding gambits:
–ppl who still write checks and wait until their items are all rung up to fill out the check. seriously, where is your debit card?? and more importantly, why are you holding up the line to write in all the information you already knew before you walked in here (i.e. pay to the order of, date, your sig). go back to the rock from which you crawled out.
–guys without a plan and think “we should chill some time” or “wanna hang out” is the same as asking some one on a date. it’s not. it’s so ambiguous. if you just want to chill, the very least you could do is offer a suggestion as to what you’d like to do to chill. watch movies, watch the Celtics, go out for drinks, play cards, whatever. HAVE A PLAN MAN!!
–ppl who ask you if you’ve seen a certian movie or tv show episode and when you say NOT YET they proceed to tell you what happened. didn’t i just say i didn’t see it?? that was not an open invitation to ruin my weekend when i catch up on my shows/netflix.
–ppl who like kobe bryant.
@Gem-balaya,
ppl who still write checks and wait until their items are all rung up to fill out the check. seriously, where is your debit card?? and more importantly, why are you holding up the line to write in all the information you already knew before you walked in here (i.e. pay to the order of, date, your sig). go back to the rock from which you crawled out.
lol @ this. in these TET, who is still taking checks?
–guys without a plan and think “we should chill some time” or “wanna hang out” is the same as asking some one on a date. it’s not. it’s so ambiguous. if you just want to chill, the very least you could do is offer a suggestion as to what you’d like to do to chill. watch movies, watch the Celtics, go out for drinks, play cards, whatever. HAVE A PLAN MAN!!
agree with this. i don’t feel my most “lady” when you bring your raggedy a*s over with nary a plan or suggestion.
lol @ this. in these TET, who is still taking checks?
right!?!?! i was at WALGREEN’s the other day and this lady has like 2 items and she has a blank check in her hand. i’m staring at the check like is that uhh uhh a check?? and why is it blank?? and why is she carrying on a convo with the guy like there isn’t a long line. minutes later she’s like “can i have a pen” i wanted to STAB her with that pen. then the chick behind the counter on the otherside talm bout “i’m not open” then bish why you standing there?!?!?! i was so mad. i just wanted to get my redvines and go
@Gem-balaya,
lmbao i feel ya tho lol
@charli skipper,
lol mad @”lets kick it” you cant handle the truth!!!lol what do you want us to say. “We should kick it sometime and you should come over my house ill have the swishas you bring the drank and we gonna get faded watch movies and listen to music enjoy eachother company and end up chexin eachother multiple times untill someone goes to sleep then we will wake up and bang one last time before we go our separate ways”.
seee doesnt “we should kick it” sound a lil better lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
see if i guy used this “let’s kick it” strictly as code for “let’s do the nasty” then that’d be fine. but if you use it for a myriad of meanings, and really WANT to spend time with me (in addition to knockin boots) then HAVE A PLAN. goin over to your spot or you coming to mine isn’t enough to get me in the mood. at least show a sistah an enjoyable nonsexual time first. put in some work. damn.
@Gem-balaya,
lol ooooooooooooooooh.
@Gem-balaya, “ppl who like kobe bryant”
lol! Kobe Bryant fans are too much for me!
@Leila, I cannot stand that cheating mo fo’. And he resembles a pelican.
@Nicki Sunshine, LMAO @ a pelican
@Gem-balaya,
“-ppl who like Kobe Bryant”
You ma’am are a hater…lol
you’re right. i’m a hater of B*TCH@SSNESS. cannot support b*tch@ss n*ggas. it’s not in my genetic make up. sorry.
@Mimi,
I hope Ron Artest and Kobe will do some pay per view fight Kobe is a biiiiiiiiiiatch. He’s got game tho but without Shaq he will get no ring.
@Gem-balaya,
LMAO!! I’m N.I.A. and I endorse this message….
@Gem-balaya,
“–guys without a plan and think “we should chill some time” or “wanna hang out” is the same as asking some one on a date. it’s not. it’s so ambiguous. if you just want to chill, the very least you could do is offer a suggestion as to what you’d like to do to chill. watch movies, watch the Celtics, go out for drinks, play cards, whatever. HAVE A PLAN MAN!!”
Amen! That really grinds my gears, too.
Oh and preach on with your Kobe hate. I’m in the choir.
@Gem-balaya,
–ppl who like kobe bryant.
***vigorously shaking head***
rooting for kobe is like rooting for syphilis.
lmao indeed
@The Champ,
The thing is my hatred for Lebron has forced me to root for Kobe these past two seasons. I can’t take a decade of dominant Lebron.
@Gem-balaya,
Who writes checks anymore, apart from my Mama and Sister O’Dell? My mom had to order new checks the other day and I looked on intrigued. How do you order these things you call “checks?” *strokes chin*
Checks are up there with scrolls and papyrus in my book
@Luvvie,
Word. They shoulda got rid of checks with the abacus. My mama just asked me to write her a check yesterday. smh
@Gem-balaya,
–ppl who still write checks and wait until their items are all rung up to fill out the check. seriously, where is your debit card?? and more importantly, why are you holding up the line to write in all the information you already knew before you walked in here (i.e. pay to the order of, date, your sig). go back to the rock from which you crawled out.
I used to work as a cashier at a large supermarket. These antics used to make me want to slap them upside the head with a roll of quarters. I even offered that they sign up for our visa check card and the bastards would refuse. “Noooo. I’m just so used to writing my checks. tee hee.” Dam* I bet you still carry a pager, have a rotatory dial phone, and watch a rabbit ear-ed analog TV wondering why all you see is snow!
@Blue Skyez,
LOL! I HAAAATE when old ppl think it’s endearing or noble that they refuse to embrace new technology. They’re like the last samurais and everybody else has cannons.
Dam* I bet you still carry a pager, have a rotatory dial phone, and watch a rabbit ear-ed analog TV wondering why all you see is snow!
LMAOOOOOOOOO
@Blue Skyez,
heeeeey my tv still has antenaae’s or howeva you spell it. I dont watch tv like that unless its football season and cable aint really worth it. i got hella dvds for when eva i have a lady friend “over to kick it” lol didnt we establish that “kick it” = come over and let me hit it.
@Gem-balaya,
“–guys without a plan and think “we should chill some time” or “wanna hang out” is the same as asking some one on a date. it’s not. it’s so ambiguous. if you just want to chill, the very least you could do is offer a suggestion as to what you’d like to do to chill. watch movies, watch the Celtics, go out for drinks, play cards, whatever. HAVE A PLAN MAN!! ”
*clears throat*
To quote the great philosophers Little Brother:
She said we should go out on a date
I said that’s cool you can come to my house
She said ni99a please~! Do better than that
Why the fvck I wanna come over and chill on yo’ couch?
I laughed cause it seemed she had me all figured out
And my game ain’t work like it did befo’
Dem are days long gone, cause once they get grown
These h0es ain’t impressed by Applebees no mo’
Gotta dig a little deeper for that PF change, for PF Chang’s
And if you can’t afford it
You can still do thangs to show you ain’t on no dumb sh1t
Take her to a gallery, museum or some sh1t
Thank God for you and all the crew that you run with
Givin new meaning to the blind date
You so offi-shall, but a ni99a can’t attract Crist-al
With a Boone’s Farm mindstate!!
WHAT!! WHAT!!!
@GOODENess,
“Dem are days long gone, cause once they get grown
These h0es ain’t impressed by Applebees no mo’”
LMBO!!!
-guys that have nothing to say but insist on getting all in your face wasting time. “what it do?” is not sparkling conversation; move!
-when burger king is out of onion rings. well why are you open?
-when a guy is super faux-interested in you the day you meet and you like him too. then he waits 3 weeks to call you and actually thinks you have anything to say to him. um….kick rocks swiftly.
-black ppl that still use ignorant a*s descriptions like “good hair”/ high yella/ bad hair/ black as hell. um…shut your sambo a*s up, tyra.
-kyle on college hill. did anybody see tonight’s episode? there is no excuse for that girl not slapping the piss outta him. she actually needs her a*s beat.
@charli skipper,
“black ppl that still use ignorant a*s descriptions like “good hair”/ high yella/ bad hair/ black as hell. um…shut your sambo a*s up, tyra.”
LOL i’m so with you on this one! Someone was talking about good and bad hair today, in reference to a toddler with “nappy” hair. I was like first of all stop talking about people’s children, and secondly please stop with the self hatred, bc last time i checked ur hair was the same texture b4 you got that touchup fool!
@PrincesMo,
*cue School Daze montage*
Go on and swear, see if I care, good and bad hairrr…
@charli skipper, “when burger king is out of onion rings. well why are you open?”
I get so mad when restaurants are out of food that I want. I went to one place for lunch last week that ran out of chicken by noon. I wanted to leave, but I had no choice because it was the only restaurant in the area.
don’t even get me started!!!! i went to the movie theater a couple days ago and wanted the pretzel bites. i LOVE soft pretzel bites. they bring me joy. and it’s the only thing at the movies i’ll pay an arm and a leg for. so i get there at 7p and these mofos talm bout they are out. WHAT?!?! how are you OUT?!?! it’s a weekday and early evening at that!! i was heated.
Good People of VSB, ok well maybe not all GOOD….
WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS !!!!
my first name has THREE letters two of them are the same letter, I mean really you have known me since Grade School the spelling of my name has not changed
Can you not be suprised that I dont have children and have not been married. Please! Im ok with it so you and your single baseball team of the united nations tribe of children from various fathers having self should be ok with it too.
having multiple “Baby daddies” and not only thinking its ok, but that its normal. Guess again honey.
I have a colleague that loves to come in my office and speak in grandiose terms about things that we neither have the budget nor manpower to do. Can you stop wasting my time with your nonsense, thank you very much I dont need your help wasting my time, that is what Facebook is for.
your feet should not hang off the front of your shoe and your heel should not hang off the back PLEASE STOP WEARING ILL FITTING SHOES!!!! and if you know that about 20 minutes into wearing those stilletos your feet will hurt to the point that you will have to remove your shoes, please have a pair of ballet flats or flip flops with you. There is no reason on God’s earth that you should be bare foot in public, unless you are at the beach or park frolicing in the grass because you are filming a maxi pad commercial.
AND its SPRING while I can admire a pretty sandal on ugly feet, please for the sake of all that is good in the world, do something about your feet before you expose them to the world. They should not look like you been kicking flour, playing in the sandbox, or like you were in a claw fight with a velocer raptor. GET YOUR FEET TAKEN CARE OF AND PUT SOME DAMN LOTION ON THEM!
Thank you
Gracias
Merci
@Intellectual Hedonist, “Can you not be suprised that I dont have children and have not been married. Please! Im ok with it so you and your single baseball team of the united nations tribe of children from various fathers having self should be ok with it too.”
***standing ovation ****
I went to get my hair done by this West African lady the day before yesterday.. she made a weird sound when I told her my age and that I didn’t have any kids. What the effe????
your feet should not hang off the front of your shoe and your heel should not hang off the back
my uncle calls that “shrimp cocktail” and “dry biscuits”, respectively lol.
@Gem-balaya, I am over here dying @ shrimp cocktail.
@Gem-balaya,
lololololol I hate sandals for that reason only. I was in the store one day and this lady was in the aisle and well i look at womans feet cause ( long story ) and her feet was so ashe they was grey and they looked like she could climb a tree wit um if she had to. tha sad thing was the lotion was right behind her i wanted to pour out some on the floor hopin she would slip fall in it.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
i look at womans feet cause ( long story )
there’s nothin but space and opportunity. so go ‘head on den… don’t worry, i’ll wait….
@Gem-balaya,
Busted feet= busted woman
good feet = good woman
I cant date anyone with ugly/crusty/ashy all tha time feet. Like nelly said “im addicted to manicured and pedicured toes” i mean the bear claws i see nowadays make me wanna barf. and no i neva licked a toe i did give one girl a foot massage once.
I don’t think people should do #2 in public bathrooms. Especially at work.
@Liz,
wtf! you expect me to eat 2 meals and 2 snacks in 9 hours and not sh*t? that’s not healthy
only a woman would say something retarded like that…i once dated a chick for 6 months and i swear she never shat
the trick is to find where the execs bathrooms are AND to know the cleaning schedule…
for me that’s the 3rd floor, northeast corner, 10am and 3pm…now i just gotta hold it til 3:05
@Carver The Great!,
i actually have (clean) places plotted out around the city to hit up if the spirits move me. like, i know if i have to go and im downtown, i can hit up the lobby bathroom at the westin william penn
@The Champ,
i can only doodoo at home while opening junk mail and throwing them out. also taking fone calls and ending right before i have to flush, but i could last a good hour jus chillin.
i think doodoos at work are for emergencies only, when you got the bubblies and can’t see the computer screen without fainting. otherwise, leave that for home maynee.
LMAO omg this whole comment is a trip!!
i feel you though. i cannot go anywhere but home. mostly becuz my @$$ cheeks do not come close to touching public toilet seats. i squat to urinate but i am NOT squating to shat. no sir. i live a 5min walk from the j-o, so i will excuse myself and go home if necessary.
@Gem-balaya,
i understand that. after i say this long azz red hair on a toilet seat in the ladies room on my floor, i go up to the 4th floor…sometimes the 5th b/c there aren’t as many people working up there….
@jana.love, i think doodoos at work are for emergencies only, when you got the bubblies and can’t see the computer screen without fainting. otherwise, leave that for home maynee
this is actually very unhealthy, and if you go around holding your doos for too long, your system could get all messed up and you’ll find yourself in the doctors office leaving with a prescription for milk of magnesia. one of my cousins didn’t wanna take a dump at school, so he would hold it. sure enough, his system got backed up and he needed an Rx to get his bowels moving properly again.
true story. probably TMI, but i’m just trying to keep the lovely people of VSB happy and regular.
@A Plus,
nah, when you go twice a day you cool. i watched dr 0z on oprah, according to him, i have “good poops”
@jana.love,
“i could last a good hour jus chillin”
Dam*! It takes you an hour to doodoo. I think you need more fiber in your diet. I just sit plop wipe. I’m up in 1min30secs tops. LOL
@Blue Skyez,
nah, i’m done within the first 5-10 mins. if i took that long, that means i would have to be concentrating on the push and all that stuff, then i’ll have to come off the fone.
i jus don’t like to mix things…like ummmm wiping while on the fone? gross. if the convo is good, i jus chill, read a mag, discuss, open my mail, discuss my mail, doodoo, finish doodoo, talk for another 45 mins, get off the fone, finish up and wash my hands. lol.
it’s a process folks.
@jana.love,
preeeeeech hell yea
the older i got i realized my doodoo time was sacred
@jana.love,
“i think doodoos at work are for emergencies only, when you got the bubblies and can’t see the computer screen without fainting. otherwise, leave that for home maynee.”
My thoughts exactly!
@The Champ,
that’s a great f*cking idea! there’s nothing worse than having to drop a deuce and not being able to.
i think this may actually be the leading cause of car accidents.
@The Champ,
there’s a westin william penn??
@Gem-balaya,
yea
@The Champ,
hmm interesting. the more you know…
@The Champ, like, i know if i have to go and im downtown, i can hit up the lobby bathroom at the westin william penn
wow, you just ruined my favorite hotel. forever. thanks.
@Carver The Great!, only a woman would say something retarded like that…i once dated a chick for 6 months and i swear she never shat
This is called IBS and it’s a women’s affliction. Maybe we get it cuz we spend time pretending we don’t sh*t… ioonnnoo…
@Carver The Great!,
you know, i honestly think theres a correlation between a woman being able to shat outside her home, and her ability to orgasm. i bet most cat ladies are home-sh*tters
@The Champ,
i bet most cat ladies are home-sh*tters
t-shirt?
@Carver The Great!,
This is the funniest ish I have ever read.
@Liz,
Amen. This is just inconsiderate and foul.
@Liz,
Sing my song Liz. Someone’s at work drop funkmaster flex type of bombs. You can smell it before you even bend the corner. Two words. Courtesy flush!
indeed, if you are going to shat in public courtesy flushes are a MUST!!!! and do not, i repeat DO NOT leave anything visible behind you!! ugghh
@Nola Darling,
rollin on the floor @ funk master flex bomb
yea this guy in my office does that ery day after lunch around 1pm and eryone on the floor knows. Yestaday I actually ran cause i saw him grabin a magazine i thought noooooo and turned into oj in the airport hertz comercial shiiii I had to squeeze a leak in b4 hiroshima and i barely made it i felt like indiana jones tryna get in and out the cave b4 the lava fills it up.
@Liz,
It’s not like people plan to do #2 at work – when you gotta go, you gotta go!
@Liz,
“I don’t think people should do #2 in public bathrooms. Especially at work.”
so you want everyone to sh*t in the paper–shredders at their desks?
@The Champ,
No. Go sat down
@The Champ,
i took a dump in my homies back yard when i was bout 10 yrs old and whiped my a$$$ with a big ole leaf lol Im actually not ashamed of it either. I was spendin the night and his pops was takin hella time.
“Smokey back there takin a $h!t”
@Liz,
if you eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, and drink regular coffee at work, and not have to do #2 at some time during the day, i suggest you go see your doctor immediately…or invest in some Metamucil….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
i eat just as much and actually work a 12 hr day on fridays, but i am very very regular. i just have that fear of public bathrooms. heck, i go HOME to pee. (on my break) cuz i just…can;t…do…it..
@N.I.A. naturally….,
I’m curious how many times a day you guys go. I can go at home for as often as “the spirit moves me”. Feel free not to answer that.
@Me fail english?,
LOL!
without giving details, let’s just say, it depends on if i’m having a good eating day, or a bad(junk food, pizza, dairy, not many fruits, veggies, or whole grains) day.
LOL! i too can go as often as “the spirit moves me” becuz i eat a lot of fiber so my b-movements are quite regular. but i never go during the middle of a work day unless i had something that didn’t agree with my stomach.
@Gem-balaya, that was alot of information, gemmie.
@Me fail english?,
i drop the deuce, twice a day most times. but def daily, if i do it more than that, we got a problem. lol.
@Me fail english?,
twice when i wake up and after work.
unless i eat ice cream hey you kno most black folks are lactose intolorant but we dont care anyways.
@N.I.A. naturally….,
Riiight??
I mean, it’s only natural!
This whole thread may have ruined my lunch. Thanks for nothing, everyone
@Liz,
LOL…I try my best to avoid droppin’ deuces in public myself. Especially at work. Maybe it’s because I eat the most at dinner time, not lunch. Usually it works out, but on the rare occurence that it doesn’t:
I go when everyone else is at lunch and the bathrooms are empty. Works magic until someone suprisingly comes in (obviously using my tactic), then I sit there quietly ’til they leave…I’ont want them hearing the deuce hit the water or nothing. lol
I hate being the one to exit the bathroom right as someone you know walks in and you see their srunched up face. I hate it especially when that stank wasn’t my fault. Bathrooms just SMELL like that.
Wait a minute…
WTF is this post. I need to stop talking about this and escape this text box…lol
@everyone,
Since y’all were sharing poop stories I decided to be equally gross and say:
When I was in Portugal in December I didn’t #2 the entire week. By the time I got to Kenya (my next stop), I thought I was gonna die. But I did go. I got to New Orleans (last stop on trip) and maybe went once that entire week.
My bowels lock up when I leave the state of Illinois.
@iloV.E.G.rits,
That reminds me of my first time on a plane, we waited for like 50-leven hours because of weather cancellations and finally when everyone was lining up to board, I had to go SUPER bad. Or it felt like I did. My tummy was hurting something fierce. I willed it away because I didn’t want to end up not having a seat or not sitting next to the fam (I was nervous enough as it is to fly) so I held it in. Thankfully, it did eventually go away and I boarded.
My stomach had never hurt that badly before, though. lol
“In my head: “Her period’s late. F*CK. I knew I should have gone for the pearl necklace.”-Um stop, lol that almost made me pee myself.
But anyway everyone has pretty good list and i pretty much agree with everything, lots of things grind my gears here are a few more:
1. dirty people/bad hygiene-i.e. when people leave the bathroom without washing their hands (gross i will give u the mean side eye if i see u do that nasty mess), when people don’t shower daily, i.e. my Philippino roommat who only showered 1ce a week, real talk
2.people who don’t respect personal space- back the hell up, why are u all in my face, i hate to be touched by strangers unless it can’t be helped on like a crowded train or something, but if there are no special circumstances, then u should not be all up in my life space
3.Stupid/douchebaggy people who like to hear themselves talk- pretty self explanatory- u have nothing of value to say, so please SHUT YOUR DUMB ARSE UP !!!
4.(black) People standing on the corner in the middle of the day_it’s like why are u here right now–go do something productive! This is why we can’t progress as a people bc all ur monkey behinds wanna do is sit out here and drink colt 45–dang shame.
5. and i hate to sound like an angry black women, but at this point who cares: the #1 burn my biscuit inducer of all is black men with white women, even worse, fine black men with ugly white women. I live in NYC and see it everyday and i usually count how many times a day i see it. It makes me want to punch somebody in the head or kick a puppy. I just don’t get it; it makes me think about crossing over and then i think about the pink meat and change my mind…them fool ninjas!
@PrincesMo,
“2.people who don’t respect personal space- back the hell up, why are u all in my face, i hate to be touched by strangers unless it can’t be helped on like a crowded train or something, but if there are no special circumstances, then u should not be all up in my life space”
And then when you take a step back, this infringing bastard actually takes a step closer! Like, why are u all up under me???????
@YGB,
This is the worst! Right up there with huge ppl who think they should be sitting right on you cuz you’re narrow.
@PrincesMo,
and i hate to sound like an angry black women, but at this point who cares: the #1 burn my biscuit inducer of all is black men with white women, even worse, fine black men with ugly white women.
i’m assuming you’re not an obama fan.
@The Champ, i’m assuming you’re not an obama fan.
what do you mean by that? she said she doesn’t like to see fine black men with ugly white women. i concur. if you’re referring to obama’s black father and his white mother, well, his father, may God rest his soul, was far from fine, so it really doesn’t matter what his mother looked like.
my rule of thumb regarding interracial relationships is as follows:
- fine black man + ugly white woman = me pissed for all of 30 seconds, then realize that ain’t got ish to do with me, so i keep it moving
- fine black man + fine white woman = eh, whatev
- ugly black man + fine white woman = HA! thanks for removing that one from the pool
- ugly black man + ugly white woman = who the eff cares.
- fine black woman + ugly white man = girl, i hope he’s nice
- fine black woman + fine white man = something new
- ugly black woman + fine white man = n/a
- ugly black + ugly white man = i’ll pray for your children
@A Plus,
ugly black woman + fine white man = n/a
LOLOLS for that one. You are so right to say n/a that ish just doesn’t happen unless you happen to eyebrow-less and named Whoopi Goldberg.
@A Plus,
what about black mixing with the other races?
im curious ta what you think about that
@The Champ,
I love Obama, it’s not his fault, also his mom was like a hippie so it makes it a lil better. And even though he’s mixed i still categorize him as black. So his white mom (RIP) makes no difference to me. Plus he married a black woman so that pretty much solidifies my love for him.
It has been a while but this post is just what I needed to air my issues out.
People who are part of the problem and not the solution.
Exhibit A: My mother. If I asked you, mother dearest, to take your name out of a joint account and the bank teller tells you that the only way to do this is to close the account, then pray tell, why did you not close the account and put the money in my regular account, to which you have the number? Why art thou calling me? Do you have my money or is this a progress report? Don’t.call.me.unless.you.have.done.what.I.asked.you.to.do.
Please and thank you!
Woosah.
Okay I feel much better now.
Otherwise, ignorance, inefficiency, insincerity and fakery are my pet peeves.
@lulu,
vsb.com: where mommy issues arent resolved
@The Champ,
that’s for me to decide dear.
@lulu,
You mad, huh? (c) Saaphyri (who, btw, is now serving a 3 yr sentence for not showing up to court for her identity theft case. Guess Charm School aint work after all)
@Luvvie, You mad, huh? (c) Saaphyri
LMAO. i hate you for quoting her. she caint read, talk, or do nothin good!
@Luvvie,
I love and hate you for that Saaphyri quote. It’s quite the conundrum.
let me see………..
1. people who feel they are as holy as the pope…….when they are ass guilty as a man on death row
2. when you know someone is lying to you and they playing the “ï cant believe you don’t trust me”, “it wasn’t me” game
3. when you are in a waiting line at a department store/fast food and you start checking your purse or turn around for just a second and one dumazz cuts you off
4. when you go shopping or to purchase something, and its not until you have gotten home you realize the items are not complete…….and the painful part is you reminded the cashier like 100 times what you wanted
5. when i drive up to a fuel pump and i am welcomed with the delightful news that they are closed or short of fuel……..and my tank is nearly empty
well thats just a few……..
@sweet peach,
when you are in a waiting line at a department store/fast food and you start checking your purse or turn around for just a second and one dumazz cuts you off
Also, when there are multiple cashiers stations are open and there is one line. Some donkey comes up takes a look at the line and decides to just waltz right up to the cashier like the line is just to make sure the coast is clear for them to go next.
@Nola Darling,
LOL. Sowwy! I’m that donkey pretty often. And it actually works. But since I’m not in the habit of taking accountability, I think some of the blame should rest with cashiers that don’t tell the other people “THERE IS MORE THAN ONE LINE”
omg this happened to me at CVS a few weeks ago. there is always one line but 2 registers. so this lady forms her own line and was like, excuse you, we all been waiting. she popped off at the mouth at me and the cashier aint even back me up. i was like oh that’s how it is?? pssshh. haven’t been back to that CVS since.
@sweet peach,
welcome and sh*t
@The Champ,
thanks…….
as 4 the “guilty” comment didnt mean to offend anyone…..
@sweet peach, 1. people who feel they are as holy as the pope…….when they are ass guilty as a man on death row
i feel you, but not all men on death row are guilty!
@overit,
“but not all men on death row are guilty!”
LOVE that you added that. Speak. Truth.
Some of these are going to make me seem a bit crazy, b!tchy or both. I am okay with that.
1. I am really irritated when folks try to offer up encouraging words during difficult (non death, non crisis) situations. I am grown and, though I am sure the heartfelt words are sincere, I don’t need a cheerleader. I know what I need to do, I am formulating a plan and really don’t need to hear ‘things will get better’.
This leads me to
2. Folks offering up advice on my situation. I rarely ask for advice (I do talk things out to gain perspective, though) yet folks love to give it. I can honestly say that I have never been more miserable than when I took someone’s advice/let someone else talk me into doing something my gut told me not to do. I stayed in the worst job ever, went out on a date with a fool…all b/c of someone’s advice/opinion.
3. Folks who are constantly ‘on’. Nonstop routines bore me…I don’t like folks who try to hard.
4. Overly cocky people. I actually find ego attractive…on folks who can back it up. But I am finding more and more people are delusional about how fly/smart/accomplished/skilled/segzy they are.
Lastly,
5. People gettin ‘in mine’. I understand humans are curious, hell I am too, but I have learned that, if folks don’t tell you they don’t want you to know. So don’t ask. This actually goes for friends and strangers. Hell, there are things I don’t tell my best friend! I had a friend once who complained that I wasn’t open and it was true. That’s who I am. Some things I share with a few people and some things nobody will ever know. It is just who I am.
@V.E.G., ” Folks offering up advice on my situation. I rarely ask for advice (I do talk things out to gain perspective, though) yet folks love to give it.”
Me too, which causes me to be somewhat secretive. People love to weigh in on a situation when you just want to vent.
@V.E.G.,
“Hell, there are things I don’t tell my best friend! I had a friend once who complained that I wasn’t open and it was true. ”
Thank you! NOBODY on earth knows everything about me. My motormouth mom and sister got mad at my aunt because she was keeping secrets about her family. She don’t owe yall answers! Who are yall? The po-po???
@V.E.G.,
3. Folks who are constantly ‘on’. Nonstop routines bore me…I don’t like folks who try to hard.
**nodding head**
@V.E.G.,
“I am grown and, though I am sure the heartfelt words are sincere, I don’t need a cheerleader.”
Remind me not to send you any “You can do it!” text messages.
Oh and Cockiness w/o back-up is a womp situation. See: Ex-nonboo.
@Luvvie,
“Ex-nonboo”
this ish makes me giggle
1)people who have to prove their own ethnicity
2)people who repeat things to me like I am 2
AND FINALLY
3)when your talking to someone and you can tell they are only waiting to say what they want and are not processing the words that are coming outta my mouth. They might as well walk away and come back when I finish talking. Go freshen up their drink or something.
Oh yeah Panama ……We need to talk about something ………just not now lol. just F’in with ya man. lol
@Double J,
Co-Sign on all three, but especially the second. This happens in the workplace everyday. I don’t care what job you have, at some point it becomes routine. Don’t explain it to me, leave it on my desk and I promise I can figure it out on my own.
@Double J,
Yeah i’m with u on all three, #2 is esp annoying. There is this one lady at work who does that mess all the time and i constantly want to punch her in the face.
1) Co-workers/roomates who eat my food that I leave at work/home CLEARLY labelled with my MY NAME. When I come back later, half the crap I just opened yesterday has mysteriously disappeared like Kyle’s ribs on College Hill! I mean sheez man I don’t ever eat anyone else’s junk unless they offer it to me. So why sneak around and eat my stuff when I’m not there even after Iwill always offer some while I’m there. DIE BIATCHES DIE!!!
2) People who ride my bumper while I’m driving ANYWHERE at ANY SPEED. I’m only going to do 5-10 miles max over the speed limit!!! I’m not about to get a speeding ticket or die because your azz in rush to go to H*LL!! DIE BIATCHES DIE!!!
3) People who honk @ me to hurry up and turn. It’s my car and I turn when I want to!!DIE BIATCHES DIE!!!
4) EFFING Telemarketers!!! Why the h*ll am I always breaking my neck to answer the phone because I think it’s someone important just to see a “1800*******” on my caller id?! DIE BIATCHES DIE AND BURN!!!]
@Blu Skyez, “2) People who ride my bumper while I’m driving ANYWHERE at ANY SPEED. I’m only going to do 5-10 miles max over the speed limit!!! I’m not about to get a speeding ticket or die because your azz in rush to go to H*LL!! DIE BIATCHES DIE!!!”
Someone did that to me yesterday… I slammed on the brakes.. that’ll teach them. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
LOL What happens if you slam on the brakes and they hit you? Granted it’s their fault, but MAN that would bring about some serious road rage.
@Lili and Blue Skyez, I thought about that but my anger overrode my common sense. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
“Someone did that to me yesterday… I slammed on the brakes.. that’ll teach them. lol”
You know I’ve wanted to do that countless times, but I always hestitate because it will be just my luck that my back gets caved in by a mothertrucker with no insurance. Mine only covers liability.
@Nicki Sunshine,
like luda says then “move bi—h get out tha way get out tha way” lol naw i hate slow drivers. esp drivers that speed up to get in front of you then drive slow luckily Im a big black guy so I dont have road rage problems they always talk untill they get beside me then they wanna roll they windo up cause they see i aint no punk bishhh also my big body buick with the v8 gets respected.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Im a big black guy”
How big of a black guy are you? Just curious
@Me fail english?,
6 ft 230 kinda like a middle linebacker type build my ghetto upside down smile doesnt help either. I even wear glasses to look more nice but it doesnt work.
@Blu Skyez,
@ 2) – as much I understand why you hate this, I don’t understand why you just don’t move out the way (assuming of course you’re on multi-lane road)?
This used to piss me off to no end until I realised that just coz I wanna stick to the speed limit, doesn’t mean others have to! Also, I always feel less aggravated once that muhfukka is outta my sight!
@YGB,
I think it’s on the speed demon to move out of the way. That’s why we have a passing lane. I don’t slam on the breaks I just start driving below the speed limit
@Me fail english?,
I don’t slam on the breaks I just start driving below the speed limit
Exactly!
@Me fail english?,
I see. But what I don’t understand is people who refuse to move out the way, whereas they are driving slow in the fast lane!!
@YGB,
Yeah, slow drivers in the left lane have their own circle in hell.
@Me fail english?, what grinds my gears is when people drive slow in the fast lane! especially when there are signs that clearly state “slower traffic keep right”. the left lane is not for those speed law abiding mofos, so get outta my way!!
ps- i may have issues with driving too fast
@YGB,
Sometimes I do just move outta the way. But when I think of all the times j-azzes have not let me in, cut me off, and blocked me from my exit; I just get tired of having to bend/acquiesce to everyone’s want/need. I think to myself “It’s a multi-lane road. So why can’t they just go the h*ll around me?”
@Blue Skyez,
The only thing worse is those fools who drive slow as fukk and they when you try to pass them they accelerate!!!
@YGB, YES. Yes. I hate them all. In fact, most of my gear grinders are driving-related now that I think about it.
@YGB,
lol hell yea like they wanna race or somethin. I feel hella stupid tho when i hella speed by some slow dude then get stuck in a traffic lane and he jus drive pass me still doin negative 5mph.
@Blu Skyez,
I feel you on all but #3. My gym is in Long Island where you can make right turns on red (you can’t do this in NYC). So all the cityfolk stop at the effin red light with the right turn signal on. These people make me wanna slapbox Jesus.
@Me fail english?,
In GA, you can make right turns on red. I just get pissed when fools honk me to go just because I’m not comfortable cutting off on-coming traffic and risking getting t-boned. I’ve seen it happened to impatients multiple times.
@Blue Skyez,
taking about left turns. I don’t have this problem with right turns.
@Me fail english?,
talking about left turns. I don’t have this problem with right turns.
@Me fail english?,
These people make me wanna slapbox Jesus.
lmao ihatechu
@Blu Skyez, I’m not about to get a speeding ticket or die because your azz in rush to go to H*LL!! DIE BIATCHES DIE!!!
lol. Most of my earthly irritations occur behind the wheel. my sister said I have severe road rage. maybe she’s right.
omg Jesus is the only reason i’m still alive. becuz i’m sure i’ve pissed off enough ppl with my road rage mouth who have wanted to kill me. i used to roll my window down and yell obscenities out the window. my mom would always tell me “you never know who might have a gun” and so since then i’ve just kept my windows up. and if my window is down i just say “God bless you sir/maam”
I LOVE Family Guy.
What really grinds my gears:
1. People who don’t say what they mean and mean what they say.
2. People who don’t want something until they know you want it/ have it/are doing it.
3. People with a constant cloud of drama (and dramatic people).
4. People who don’t notice that you are bored with the conversation and keep droning on and on. (Get in touch with reality, notice my rolling eyes and my continuing to stare at the computer screen while you are talking and MOVE ON.)
@Nicki Sunshine,
2. People who don’t want something until they know you want it/ have it/are doing it.
I used to have this problem with a best buddy of mine. Whether it was a new favorite color, food, musician she would always suddenly started wanting/liking the exact same thing. I mean get your own life chick! The most annoying thing was she would be thinking a guy was just alright and not all that hot until I started feeling him, then she would totally be in love with him! Like “oh girl I never noticed how fine he was before.” Danger! I tell you. I’m still great friends with her, but I keep my mouth shut when it comes to guys I like. When she asks, I just tell her I’m not really into anyone right now. But *insert guy I don’t really like name* is cute. This usually gets her off my tail.
@Blue Skyez, “Like “oh girl I never noticed how fine he was before.” ”
Dems fighting words right there.. I don’t blame you, I wouldnt’ say either.
@Blue Skyez,
Lol. This sounds like my sister’s relship with her former BFF. But the BFF would not only want her stuff, she’d go and get the bootleg! Good times.
1) When someone misses a line in a movie or a punch line in a sitcom and then ask “What’d he say?” Hey douchebag, the way movies/tv shows work is that THEY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING AT THE END IN CASE YOU MISSED SOMETHING…
For f*ck’s sake…
2) People who want me to use my brainpower instead of using their own. No I don’t know what the weather outside is like because I’m IN HERE WITH YOU! The personal computer is your friend.
3) People who only regurgitate what they’ve been taught and lack the balls to come up with their own theories. Similar symptoms include trying to contol every variable of every situation, having no plan B when plan A invariably fails and long standing anxiety over the most trivial situations.
Sigh…
4) Stupidity.
5) Inept superiors in the workplace.
@Jarrod Halsey,
5) Inept superiors in the workplace.
Which explains the demise of the U.S. auto industry.
@Jarrod Halsey,
“People who only regurgitate what they’ve been taught and lack the balls to come up with their own theories.”
So I take it that you’re not a fan of Miss California
Folks who don’t know what they want, but know what they don’t want.
I hate people like this. My sister is like this. and it usually has to do with food…
me– what do you want to eat?
sis–it doesn’t matter
me–spaghetti?
sis–no, i don’t want that
me–ok then, what do you want
sis–i don’t know
me–how about we get some pizza or some chinese take-out or something
sis–naw, i don’t think i want that
me–SO WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!
sis–i don’t know
by this point, i’m ready to kill that heffa, but she’s my sister so i guess i shouldn’t do that.
but what really grinds my gears
-people who pop chewing gum–all 3 of my sisters do this and it irks me to know end. if i pop one of them in the mouth, the had it coming, and only have themselves to blame.
-people who aren’t good at directions, but refuse to ask for help
-people who talk with their mouths full at the table
-people who say “real talk” before and after almost every sentence. i’m sorry, but “real talk” shouldn’t be the footnote to all of your sentences…you need more people
@N.I.A. naturally….,
I hate people like this. My sister is like this. and it usually has to do with food…
me– what do you want to eat?
sis–it doesn’t matter
me–spaghetti?
sis–no, i don’t want that
me–ok then, what do you want
sis–i don’t know
me–how about we get some pizza or some chinese take-out or something
sis–naw, i don’t think i want that
me–SO WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!
sis–i don’t know
I’m guilty of this and I’m proud!
@YGB,
Girl this is me all day long.
Dont let lunch time come around. I am usually the hungriest one but dont ask me what I want cause I dont know, but I know I dont want anything you suggest.
@YGB,
I hate when dates do that I jus say efff it we’re goin to the bbq shack hell everyone likes bbq
What grinds my gears
1) When black folks say “at least their getting paid” to justify any coon, sambo, or degrading behavior.
2) People who get in the self-checkout lane with enough groceries for a NFL defensive line. Not only that but they don’t know how to use the self-checkout.
3) Women who say “your a man it’s your job”. At the moment I have quit this job. I won’t look for employment again until men get a union.
4) Unintelligent people that try to have an intelligent conversation.
5) People who always try to get over.
@Humble_One,
“1) When black folks say “at least their getting paid” to justify any coon, sambo, or degrading behavior.”
People with no sense of integrity really break my heart. And then they call you a “hater” as if you’re jealous of the shame they’re enduring just to afford the same isht you’re buying
@Me fail english?,
This has nothing to do with your post, but it did remind me of something. Sometimes this can be misunderstood… I am the only black, and the only female junior executive in my company… I have heard rumors from some of the other staff saying that im a sell out, and that i kiss the bosses azz…. Helloooooooooo.. he is my boss, and I work for HIM, this is not Lanieanna Inc. Because I’m early for work everyday… do my best to be a top performer… Work late… go the extra mile… Fill in for others.. that makes me a sell out… an uncle tom- eka??? Maybe that would explain why I am in that position, and they are not.
“grinding my gears”
1) people that make assumptions about who you are, when they have obviously never looked at either your record or resume. This usually happens when you are a minority (either race or gender). Some how you must have manipulated your way to a position of power, because there is no way you could have earned it on your own merits.
Sorry….. Just venting from work frustrations… Oh! btw, did i mention i was at work right now! lol!
@Humble_One,
2) People who get in the self-checkout lane with enough groceries for a NFL defensive line. Not only that but they don’t know how to use the self-checkout.
i co-sign your entire post, but hate these people…seriously, i do. if you know you don’t know how to use the darn thing, then go stand in the regular checkout line. And if you have more than 25 items, and half of those items are produce where you have to key in the code, please take your azz to the regular checkout line.
thank you….
@Humble_One, “1) When black folks say “at least their getting paid” to justify any coon, sambo, or degrading behavior.”
I agree!
@Humble_One,
1) When black folks say “at least their getting paid” to justify any coon, sambo, or degrading behavior.
this is in my top five and sh*t
@Humble_One,
“1) When black folks say “at least their getting paid” to justify any coon, sambo, or degrading behavior.”
YES! My bro-in-law says this all the time. He fails at breathing.
Great topic and I love Family Guy!
1. I can’t stand people that are Jesus-crazy to another level. If I ask you how you are doing today, “I’m blessed” doesn’t quite answer the question. And I hate when every one of their facebook status messages is a bible verse. I mean, I get it … you’re a christian!
2. People that keep calling after I didn’t answer the first time. If I didn’t answer the first time, what makes you think I’ll answer you next 10 calls within 2 minutes?
3. When people constantly say “We need to hang out”, but never make plans to hang out. Just don’t bother!
4. I hate when folks use 100 words to make a 5 word statement. No one has time for all that extra wordiness!
@Soulny,
I get it … you’re a christian!
***potential t-shirt***
@Soulny,
“2. People that keep calling after I didn’t answer the first time. If I didn’t answer the first time, what makes you think I’ll answer you next 10 calls within 2 minutes?”
I was heated at my Mom for doing this while I was at work. She called me 3 times in a row and I was in a meeting. I call her back and she aint even want nothing.
@Luvvie,
I hate when people during prime time aka after 10pm and wonder why you arent avalible duhh im kinda knee deep in somethin right now.
hell yea esp ex’s. my ex called me last night sayin we need to talk. (i imediately was like dam should went for the pearl necklass) then she asks me about some salt n pepper shakers wtf I cant wait till her period comes then i know im free (guys kno wha im talkin bout).
@Soulny, #2 and #4 speak to my soul. Thank you.
1. I can’t stand people that are Jesus-crazy to another level. If I ask you how you are doing today, “I’m blessed” doesn’t quite answer the question. And I hate when every one of their facebook status messages is a bible verse. I mean, I get it … you’re a christian!
mom, is that you?? LOL
there ain’t nothin wrong with ppl appreciating what the Lord has done for them. if they are Christians, then they are supposed to tell the world how good their God has been. saying one is blessed does answer the question “how are you doing?” besides, ppl answer with “i’m doing good” which isn’t even a proper (english) way to answer. i think it’s silly to make a fuss over this. if you don’t like outwardly Christian ppl, don’t talk to them lol. just becuz you may not believe in Christ doesn’t mean other ppl can’t express their faith and beliefs.
@Gem-balaya,
I am gonna agree with Gem-balaya here. A good Christian is supposed to go out and spread the good news and ‘I’m blessed’ (though I don’t think I’ve ever said this to anyone, lol) would tell me someone is having a thankful day and are full of home. Much better than “I’m good” or “ok”.
@iloV.E.G.rits,
should read “full of hope”
@iloV.E.G.rits,
LOL i say “i’m blessed” to the old ladies at my church. and they nod and say “hallelujah, God is good”. gotta stay in the spirit when you dealin with old hat wearin church folk.
@Gem-balaya, i just can’t stand when “i’m blessed” replaces honest exchange with someone you actually know (not the elders you greet in church). let me know that you had a sh*tty ass today and explain to me how the Lord brought you out of it. I used to know someone who was like a Stepford Christian, and I swore there was a string in the back of her neck. NO REALLY, how are you? To me it’s just as bad as ‘i’m doing good’ grrrrrrr…
@Miss Patterson,
well if that’s how some one feels that’s how they feel. i often answer “i’m ok” when really i’m not ok but i don’t necessarily wanna get into the details about why i’m contemplating homicide with you.
now i can see how saying “i’m blessed” would piss off a doctor/defense attorney if he/she were asking a patient/client how they were doing. as my dad would say “if you’re so blessed, why the hell are you here to see me?”
i was actually supposed to try and get work done today and you post this topic…f*ck, there goes my productivity for the day…
ok, let’s get it crackin’ like chapped lips:
1. girls that don’t “share their thoughts” – in the famous words of chris rock, “they still make you”
2. people who leave you the “hey it’s *insert name* call me back when you get this” voicemail – YOU IGNORANT B*TCH! have you not heard of text messaging or caller id? did you completely ignore my voicemail greeting that says “leave a detailed message” i hope you die slow from insurgent road side bomb shrapnel that strikes your unmentionables.
…and speaking of voicemail
3. if i leave you a voicemail, don’t call me back until you listen to it, duh! i may have given you life instruction in said voicemail
e.g.
my voicemail: “i just got kidnapped and they put a bomb in my phone, if your number calls it, all of atlanta will be hiroshima’d”
you: *sees caller id (while ignoring the mailbox icon) and just calls back before listening to voicemail, causing millions of future mrs. carver’s to die instantly*
the end
@Carver The Great!,
LOL! I call back before I listen to the VM all the time. Who wants to make two calls, when I can just make the one? Minutes aint free
@Me fail english?,
1) news flash, you don’t get charged for listening to your voicemail
2) in the same vein as ‘who wants to make two calls…” why should that person have to say the same thing twice…and aren’t you gonna have to check your voicemail at some point later anyway?
logic is not a woman’s specialty.
@Carver The Great!,
Newsflash, I DO get charged for my VM calls. I discovered this the hard way along with the fact that not all calls to customer service are free!
Also, it’ll take you less time to repeat whatever 30 sec message you had to say in the phone call than it will take me to dial VM, put in my passcode, wait for the prompts and delete the message. I check my VM at my leisure or when important ppl call. You sir, clearly do not make the cut.
Which brings me to another gear grinder…people who equate their preference with being the only “logical” way to do things
@Me fail english?,
grind deez! (c) the champ
@Me fail english?, Which brings me to another gear grinder…people who equate their preference with being the only “logical” way to do things
Good comeback!
@pgh muse,
the sun shines on a dog’s a** somedays…
@Carver The Great!,
logic is not a woman’s specialty.
LOL
@The Champ, Hater.
@Carver The Great!,
i dunno dogg I neva listen to my vm i just let them collect and kill 5 birds with one stone. I do hate when mofo vm box stays full.
@Carver The Great!,
I hate leaving messages for people who don’t bother to check them, too. It’s like my time isn’t as important as theirs so do I mind repeating myself so they don’t have to listen to a 20 second VM.
@Carver The Great!,
I HATE voicemails, especially those that don’t want nothing. I cussed Kindred str8 out the other day for doing that ish. Went off for at LEAST 5 mins.
@Luvvie, Doesn’t count. I was intentionally grinding your gears. My only regret is not recording your rants, which included several “Fukumeans” and “I’mon punch you in the ovaries”
@Kindred Smile,
Oh how I wish you had recorded the rant!
@Luvvie,
I tell my mom about that all the time. I will not listen to you talk on my Voicemail for 2 minutes and then tell me to call you back. I will delete your voicemail and then call back cause I don’t like people rambling in my ear without giving me a chance to interject.
@Carver The Great!,
“if i leave you a voicemail, don’t call me back until you listen to it, duh! i may have given you life instruction in said voicemail”
I am so horrible at this. I hate checking vm. In the event of an emergency, yo a&& bet not call mssmtaylor.
@Carver The Great!,
my voicemail: “i just got kidnapped and they put a bomb in my phone, if your number calls it, all of atlanta will be hiroshima’d”
you: *sees caller id (while ignoring the mailbox icon) and just calls back before listening to voicemail, causing millions of future mrs. carver’s to die instantly*
LOLOLS I am so guilty of doing this shiz. I hate listening to voicemail, because I have plenty o’ friends who leave long azz 15 min long voicemails like they are having a one-sided phone convo with themselves. I mean just wait until I call you back..dammit
@Blue Skyez,
i guess i’m the only person that only leaves voicemails when i really need to…if i really just need you to hit me back a text message will suffice.
@Carver The Great!,
No you’re not… I usually don’t bother leaving a voicemail… If it’s something important, I text that sh!t.
Texting is your friend. Use it abundantly.
@Carver The Great!,
#3 is one of my all-time pet peeves!
Indecisiveness really grinds my gears. Can’t stand being out with people wandering aimlessly or taking 30 minutes to order dinner because everything on the menu is worth a question.
Feedburner really really grinds my gears. Anybody who runs a blog and uses it should know exactly what I’m referring to.lol.
@Slim Jackson,
this is why its always better to eat somewhere with pics on the menu
@Slim Jackson,
Feedburner is the pits. They need to work all them kinks out.
**newbie**
1. People who say “at the end of the day”
2. women who expect me to be a mind reader… I’m sorry but I don’t feel like trying to read between the imaginary lines to try and decipher what you really meant… things would go so much smoother if you just said what you mean, and mean what you say.
@Mr. Kay,
welcome and sh*t
@Mr. Kay,
Welcome!
“1. People who say “at the end of the day””
LOL…I love how people are pointing out things that make me go “Hmm, ya know, those things are pretty stupid and annoying!”
Like, how are you gonna tell ME what’s happening at the end of the day? Who are you, Nostradamus?
@Mr. Kay,
That phrase bothers me, too. Also “the fact of the matter”.
Here are just a FEW of the things that irk me to nooo end:
1. People with no sense of direction and refuse to learn, I mean really, you’ve lived in the same city for 20 years and still don’t know how to get to the Wal-mart?
2. People who think they are smarter than you because they have a “degree”…yeah okay so you spent 4 years in college, great, use that degree to show you how to use the copier, fax machine, the scanner and the keyboard…type your own sh*t, sorry had a bit of a flash back….!
3. YT women drivers….I am always reminded of that scene in the Color Purple…I LOTHE YT women drivers…
4. People that take things that don’t belong to them, for example….I left my sweater at work, on my chair, walk in this morning, sweaters gone! Now I work in an office with two women, both of whom are waaaaay smaller than I. Why on earth would you take someones sweater, I mean really, its a female sweater….what could you possibly be doing with my sweater? And at this point I don’t even want to know….
5. Conspiracy therorists….not everything is a conspiracy. Yes, I question some things…*side eye Dick Cheney* but just cause that white chick got the promotion and you didn’t doesn’t mean they are out to get you…maybe you should of came in to work ontime instead of 30 minutes late everyday, or maybe you should not talk on the phone to ray ray and get some work done…just a suggestion…..*side eye to my co-worker*
6. When you tell someone a story and they always find a way to bring it back to them…a la Tyra Banks…ugh, not everything is about you…get over yourself quickly…thanks!
@Complex Simplicity,
5. Conspiracy therorists….not everything is a conspiracy. Yes, I question some things…*side eye Dick Cheney* but just cause that white chick got the promotion and you didn’t doesn’t mean they are out to get you…maybe you should of came in to work ontime instead of 30 minutes late everyday, or maybe you should not talk on the phone to ray ray and get some work done…just a suggestion…..*side eye to my co-worker*
one of these days im gonna write about conspiracy theorists, and its gonna make me happy
@Complex Simplicity,
6. When you tell someone a story and they always find a way to bring it back to them…a la Tyra Banks…ugh, not everything is about you…get over yourself quickly…thanks
this is my ex to a t. broken up for a while now, but when i talk to him (aka pick up his sad call) and talk to him, he’s always gotta out do me!!
me: yeah, i’m good, taking 7 classes this semester and still working full time.
him: oh fuh real? i feel you, i have 6 jobs and just built an orphanage in haiti, and i still got those blind puppies. so you got it easier than me.
me: argggggggghhhhh, why you asking me about school and work then?? go AWAY
@jana.love,
lmao@ blind puppies!
…and another one (c) biggie
4. people who can’t accept that nas lost…nas was saying juvenile sh*t on ether like “gay-z”, “cock-a-fella”, & “tae-bo hoe”, while jay was saying real sh*t like
- “you went from top 10 to not mentioned at all / to your bodyguard’s ‘oochie wally’ verse better than yours”
- “that’s a 1 hot album every 10 year average”
- “and since you infatuated with saying that gay sh*t / I guess you kissin my d*ck when you was kissin that b*tch”
takeover verse >> entire ether song
if you can’t objectively accept that then you should give your degree back your alma mater
@Carver The Great!,
Politely disagreeing. Ether was fyah like Dylan. Jay-Z made the song, Nas MADE the song.
@Nola Darling,
you need more people…as well as a better explanation.
5. the middle-aged anglo-saxons at my place of employment that wear collared shirts and no undershirt. – why are your nipples looking at me? that’s rude.
i’m gonna start slapping folks with a gq mag.
@Carver The Great!,
5. the middle-aged anglo-saxons at my place of employment that wear collared shirts and no undershirt. – why are your nipples looking at me? that’s rude.
thanks for ruining my toast and jelly.
@Carver The Great!,
BWAHAH! u r killing me softly 2day…
@Carver The Great!, LMAO this made me choke on my chai
@Carver The Great!,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! iQuit u. *dead* Not Areola eyes!
@Luvvie,
i knew there was a name for this odious fashion faux pas
thanks. i will now post a psa on the company bulletin board
“do you torture your coworkers with areola eyes? i have the solution – http://www.undershirtsareyourfriend.com“
Ok here’s my full list:
-Passive Aggressive people- I’ve had a lifelong anger mgmt problem and these people arent aiding in the recovery.
-Bullies and people who make excuses for aggressive, unfair behavior. Talmbout “Oh that’s just how Joe is”- Really? Well this is just how I am when Joe gets like that. You wouldn’t have all that lip for Tony Soprano, so don’t get tough with me!
-Non-punctual people- I can understand running late, but if we had lunch plans at 3 and it takes you an hour to get here from your house, you could’ve told me you’d be late by 2:55
-People who can’t drive- This includes SUV drivers who are scared to do the speed limit, people who don’t know how to merge on the highway, people who dont know the dimensions of their car and have trouble switching lanes and parking
-When my tivo cuts off the beginning or end of a show
-When my neices come over and the toilet paper, ketchup and cheese supplies are all depleted in one day
-When ppl copy my boss on stuff. Most of the time I was trying to do them a favor. True story, I had to remind this chick that the co. owed her bread. I guess she felt like I wasn’t giving it back fast enough cuz this ho bag copied my boss like “where’s my dough?”. And to think, I was about to expedite your payout. Now you can wait forever like the rest of the jerks, dummy.
-When my socks lose a mate
-When the remote runs away from home and doesn’t return until two weeks later when I’m looking for my car keys
-When the cats fight/hump/cry outside my window at like 3am and I can’t get back to sleep
-Slow talkers. Sorry, Mom. But I have no time for this. Perhaps you can write it down and read me the cliff notes.
-People who say things like “what do you mean by that? what are you trying to say?” as if I was speaking Chinese. You heard me. Exactly which part are you having trouble with???
I shall return…
@Me fail english?,
-Just thought of some more. When I go to get stuff out of storage (ie my parents’ basement) and it all smells like mothballs
-When people don’t cover their mouths to yawn, sneeze, cough
-When ppl at work spend more time on a witchhunt to find who made the mistake than they do on fixing it. This happened twice yesterday and the culprit wound up being McCarthy himself! smh
@Me fail english?,
people who dont cover their mouths when they sneeze make me wanna punch a teddy bear
@Me fail english?,
what about mouth breathers?? ickk.. close it and breath thru your nose you mongoloid!!!
@Me fail english?,
Ok, another…
People who pretend they wanna hang out with me and then when I wanna hang out they act all stank and unhospitable!
My parents always accuse me of being the only daughter that doesn’t hang out with them. (Which is a blatant effing lie! I’m the only one that goes to the movies, comedy clubs, etc. with them!!)
So I come by to watch a movie and these nigs pause the tivo every five minutes to comment, tell a story, make a speech, etc. Did you wanna see the film or make a sermon. We literally took nearly 4 hours to watch Carlito’s Way part 2.
They either do that or my Dad just kicks me out.
-Another thing, is when he knows I’m coming he’ll cook some random ass meal like salmon and burgers for me to eat and then get mad when I don’t finish or worse yet, don’t bother to start.
-Or how about when I’m eating soup and he crushes up old sausage (with his bare, unwashed hands) and throws it in my isht. And then stands over me to make sure I eat it. I don’t even like sausage, he knows this, and I STILL get in trouble for not finishing. smh
-Another thing that my Dad, and several other hood ninjas make me sick with is when they tell you smthg that’s not true…with conviction! What’s wrong with phrases like “I think..” or “I’m not certain but I believe…”
-which leads to another bone to pick with ninjas. If you know you’re not sure of smthg, don’t get pissed cuz I don’t agree! Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe Puerto Ricans don’t come from Mexico. Maybe the Pope isn’t really Jewish. Maybe congratulations isn’t spelled with a “B”.
I could write a book!
@Me fail english?, -Another thing that my Dad, and several other hood ninjas make me sick with is when they tell you smthg that’s not true…with conviction! What’s wrong with phrases like “I think..” or “I’m not certain but I believe…”
lmao… I know someone wit a PHD in this tactic. hahaha!
@Me fail english?,
Or how about when I’m eating soup and he crushes up old sausage (with his bare, unwashed hands) and throws it in my isht.
wow. that just made my stomach turn. how you just gonna add an extra ingredient to the food I’m already eating…that’s just rude. I don’t care if it is my dad or not.
-Non-punctual people-
more than being late, i hate ppl who don’t call and say they’re going to be +10min late. have me waiting around looking like a fool.
One more
Adults who whine: By the time you are 15 you should have developed a vocabulary strong enough to to help you express yourself without whining. I believe anyone over this age who whines should be beat to death with French toast sticks from Burger King.
@Mr. Kay, LMAO y’all are on a roll today. I have zero tolerance for whining. My daughter is not even 2 years old and if her voice starts to get even slightly nasal I ignore her, put her in time out, or ask her to repeat herself again. Usually all three. Tough love and whatnot
@Kindred Smile, the sad thing is, I would do the same thing you do to your daughter for whining to a 28 year old ex-girlfriend.
You know what grinds my gears. I mean do you KNOW what GRINDS my gears?
1. When people make themselves seem smart or full of wisdom based on the number of cliche catch phrases they use in every instant. this also applies if Dave Chapelle quotes are use in every instance in order to make this person appear “hip” and comical. You’re trying too hard.
2. Driving while texting/talking on the phone and being a nuisance on the road. This especially goes for the midgets in SUVs going 80MPH and not staying in your lane. There is a reason I’m buying a gun.
3. Being told what I should like. This goes for a lot of things but specifically women. If I told you I don’t like women shaped like body boards, then why are you trying to convince me otherwise (and probably because you have one)?.
@CPT Callamity,
“Driving while texting/talking on the phone”
Akin to driving while applying make-up!
@YGB,
And walking while texting! Respect the flow of sidewalk traffic!
this reminds me, i feel like ppl should walk on the sidewalk like you drive–stay to the RIGHT!!! why are you walking in the middle of the side walk at 0.3mph. just stay to the right and there will be enough room for everybody to walk in both directions and i can pass you on the left if you’re going too slow.
@YGB,
I guess i should just quit driving! I drive, text, talk, apply make-up, eat, smoke, and if I’m in an adventerous mood…. i may even let my dude get his lil “feel” on while I’m behind the wheel….. And yall betta not call my insurance company!
P.S. I have NEVER had an accident!
things that “grind my gears”
1) when ppl call you to ask for information, and when you give it to them, they say “wait… let me get a pen”.. WTF???
2)when ppl try to tell you how to raised your kids. Granted.. Grandparents get a slight pass, for their wisdom and knowledge, but usually when i get caught chastizing my child, i go straight from the “bat” to the evil eye.. and dare a momofugga to say something. I wish a ninja would!
3) EVERYONE WHO PARTIES HAS ONE OF THESE.. That life of the party friend, who never has any money. Dayum, it sucks that they are soo much fun!
@Laneianna,
LMAO @ #1. Like Scar in the Lion King sang, “Be Prepared!”. How you gone ask for info, but say “Wait, lemme get a pen” like you didn’t see it coming. lol
@Laneianna, 3) EVERYONE WHO PARTIES HAS ONE OF THESE.. That life of the party friend, who never has any money. Dayum, it sucks that they are soo much fun!
ughhhhhhhh, how you gonna come out to bmore with $20 and want to then…
1. EAT EVERY 2 HRS (save some crackers!!)
2. GO TO EVERY CLUB
3. GET DRUNKER THAN EVERYONE!!
and STILL say you’re gonna put in for gas and toll??
grrrrrrrrrrrr, thats why u can’t come anymore.
@Laneianna,
1) when ppl call you to ask for information, and when you give it to them, they say “wait… let me get a pen”.. WTF???
Or when I have a gathering at my house 6 oclock and people call me at 6 oclock (or later) and ask for directions…. Um, I am busy hosting this party! You should have either called and got directions earlier or mapquest it. Why are you bugging me and you know I am busy! Why are you getting mad cause I didn’t answer my phone, I am hosting!
@Laneianna,
Ugh I hate when number 3 happens. 1 or 2 times we may chip in for that person but after that we are o.k. with the party being a little whack, we know how to have some fun w/o them.
Family Guy Grinds my gears. iHate iHate iHate it with a passion! So stoopit!
and the joke is EVERYONE loves family guy, so I can’t get away from it.
“Did you see last nights episode of Family guy?”
“Stewiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!”
“Peterrrrrrrrrrrr!”
Which Family Guy Character are you? Take Quiz!
URGH! I am so sure the guy I like decided I wasn’t wifey material when he learned of my disdain for the stupidest show on earth.
Ruining my LIFE!
@Dope Fiend,
I felt this way about Wild N Out. Like wtf is so funny??
and then they’d tell me “Oh you must aint seen this episode!”. It’s the whole premise of the show I don’t like, therefore there can’t be a good episode.
@Me fail english?,
Really….?
I love wild n out. its funny!
I feel ashamed pf myself….i’m about to watch Family guy just to check there aint nothing wrong with me…
maybe you should watch wild n out….?
@Dope Fiend,
Yeah, with Family Guy, it seems it’s a “love it or hate it” show. I love it with the passion of a thousand suns.
This being one of the reasons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghxn38bX7w0
@Cheekie,
Brokeback Mountain…?
Was the funny part the end…or the cowboy seks part.
Family Guy is filled with too many popular culture references for me to enjoy it I think.
@Dope Fiend,
Yeah, Brokeback Mountain.
The whole song was hilarious, but the very end is what makes it art because there are actual songs where people just say the word at the end like they’re all deep or something. lol Mostly folk.
The general funny part is that he was singing a campfire song which is supposed to be family-friendly and innocent and he proceeds to sing about cowboys knocking boots. The look on everyone else’s face cracks me up because they’re so uncomfortable.
i’m not a fan either. it’s nto that i hate it, i just don’t find it that funny. every blue moon i’ll be with somebody who watches it and i’ll see an episode with a funny part, but it’s not entertaining enough for me to choose to watch the show on my own.
@Dope Fiend, wowsers. i can see if you didn’t like southpark, beavis and butthead, american dad, the simpsons, etc. etc., but family guy?!?!? seriously?!?! you don’t see the comic genius in that show?!?!?
and the episode when stewie dressed up like a woman and went on a date with brian to make his ex jealous, and all those old dudes were hollerin at stewie and what not (cuz apparently this wasn’t stewie’s first time dressin up as this chick)….hillarity.
re the comments below about wildn out. i can see if you don’t like that, i don’t find anything about nick cannon funny, witty, or interesting. that show was quite lame
Here’s what grinds my gears (in no particular order):
1. People who coast in the fast lane on the highway. You supposed to be passing or going. Get the eff out the way. I don’t mind that you don’t drive as fast as me but you better get over. You are not the highway hall monitor of how fast I should be driving.
2. People who don’t understand movies. If you have to ask for an explanation during and after every movie I watch with you, I’m gonna chalk it up to the fact that you’re stupid and/or ignorant.
3. Men who don’t let women on and off the elevator first. I swear I want to throat punch boys that do not have basic home training. (It seems to be more prevelant with the under 40 crowd. The older gentlemen seem to know proper etiquette…I think them youngsters haven’t been schooled.)
@luvtheshoes,
ohhh yes! This p*sses me off to the nth! Like dudes who dont open doors, or HOLD doors open even, and don’t wait for a lady to pass.
Very annoying.
@Dope Fiend,
i hate girls who get all bent outta shape about how you open the door for them.
yesterday i opened the door for a coworker and she got mad because i went through the door and held it open instead of holding it open while letting her go first.
wtf! it was a narrow a** doorway and the door was one of those heavy metal ones that is as tall as heaven, excuse me for not wanting to lift weights to be 110% curteous.
@Carver The Great!,
she shoulda appreciated that you held the door open….and sorry but she actually said something to you?
kmt. Damn right shes a girl.
Women dont act like that.
@Carver The Great!,
Agreed. She was triflin’.
@Carver The Great!,
Yeah, I agree with the folks up there. That wasn’t even called for. Who cares how you open the door, as long as you do.
Sorry, I’m def one of those people who doesn’t know what they want but knows what they DON’T want. I either have a craving for something very specific or can’t make up my mind at all
I CAN’T STAND people who don’t know how to use the freakin’ ATM!!! If your transaction is going to take more than 5 min, you need to go to the bank. If you do not trust the ATM to take your cash deposit, go to the bank! It says you can put in up to 20 bills at one time…do not make your $200 deposit made up of Lincolns one. bill. at. a. time! If you ONLY need to check your balance, please call the 800 number!
Thanks so much.
@PeachyKeen,
WOOSAAAH gurl, woosaah. LMAO!
6. slow racing – this is when there are x cars on an x lane highway/street under the speed limit and they drive the same speed next to each other as if they were having a convo. all while preventing you from passing them.
this type of sh*t angers me to the point i want to punch a baby.
@Carver The Great!,
this happens to me at least once a day, especially after work when i’m trying to get home, and these mofos wanna take up both the middle and the right lane trying to see who can go the slowest… How about people who go slow in the middle lane, instead of staying to the far right like you’re supposed to do….
@Carver The Great!, YES. Yes. Well, except for the baby punching part
What grinds my gears:
1)People who start off with “no offense, but”. Umm, offense taken!
2)People who say the last word in a sentence in a high pitched voice, I know there is a better way to describe this but I was at a meeting on the hill yesterday, homegirl is giving her testimony and she is dropping percentages like “and 45 perCENT? (u know how it sounds like a question) of these 50 people? are living? in deplorable conditions? and where is our govt?? I could not handle it.
3) ATHEISTS. Yeah I said it. Not because they don’t beleive in God, but because they be proselytizing more than Jehova’s witnesses, Tyler Perry and Zionists combined. You done took Philosophy 101 and now you wanna question yo lifespace, I got my map, go find yourself somewhere else.
4) This is really gross, but I just saw this person. People who just have an overproduction of saliva. *feeling nauseous* but this person I know always has white film coming out of their mouth when they talk. just looks like venom or something, UGH.
that’s all for now!
@overit,
*Huge Nod* @ number 4. I can’t function around people like that. Like, I go into a brain coma when I’m face-to-face with someone like that. Puke.
@overit, LMAO @ venom. I call these people Yosemite Yuckmouths or Crusty Chrissies. Not sure why, but it fits
LMAO @ #3
i feel you. i find it sooooo irritating for non-believers to act as if ppl who have a religious-based faith are a waste of space. can’t we all just get along. i’m not sh*tting on your beliefs or lack there of, why are you so interested in sh*tting on mine??
@Gem-balaya,
agree. I have lots of atheists friends but they always feel the need to say ‘you went to church today? what a waste of time.”
wtf?
@iloV.E.G.rits,
being in science makes me like 1 in a zillion who is not only “Christian” but also church-going. and Lent is my favorite time of year to hear ppl question and ridicule me about giving up things for 46 days for my spiriual well being. and don’t even get me started on praying over my food.
when it comes to my faith, i’m usually minding my own daggone business (so no need for us to even get into the likes of religion) so why can’t you do the same??
@overit,
So you saw Gerard Butler?
@luvtheshoes,
hey hey hey!! don’t you talk bad about King Leonidas!!
@Gem-balaya,
He’s seksi as h@ll but the man does spit when he talks
Mr. Friendly Neighborhood 3 was all up in my head today! I was just thinking this morning about a blog I did in high school about things that “irked” me. Since I was in high school a lot did. Blame it on the hormones.
Anyhow. On to the grinded gears (Family Guy is the BEST. They go even farther than the Simpsons, which I love):
Folks Who Say “You Hatin’” Whenver You Disagree With Them. Naw, Sir Modest-a-Lot, you have to have something to HATE ON, in order for me to be hatin’ on you. Oftentimes, maybe, just maybe, the criticisim is valid.
Folks Who Say “I’m Just Speaking My Mind, Ya’ll Just Mad I’m Saying What You’re Thinking”. No, we’re mad because you’re tactless donkey. And to paraphrase the oh-so-sage New York: “Everyone speaks to mind, what do you think your thoughts come from, your ass?!”
Folks Who Have The Mentality Of “I’m not gonna fall into that fad trap and buy what everybody else has, I wanna be different.” Yeah, you and 50 million other people wanna be “different”. So, how different are you again? How about buying what YOU like and stop worrying about if everyone has it or if no one else has it at all. Be (and do) YOU.
gear grinding things that havent been mentioned yet:
1. people with terrible walking etiquette. basically, a sidewalk should be treated like the expressway. you should always walk on the right side, and if you know you’re a slow walking bastard, move all the way to the right so that people can get past you
2. aif wonder mentioned this to me the other day, and it also really grinds my gears when people f*ck up the facebook status message tense.
for instance, instead of “the champ is at the beet farm” it’ll say “the champ i am at the beet farm”.
3. nostalgic nutfaces. basically, these are the people who always think everything was better “back in the day”. back in the day aint sh*t.
4. street cyclers who ride their b*tch ass bikes to work in the middle of the street, forcing you to drive 12 mph behind them
5. when people on packed buses get all verklempt if someone accidentally brushes against them
6. seeing people with ill-fitting, inane, or just plain stupid dress clothes.
7. people whose “outlook” on life all stems from the fact that they’re lonely and sexless.
this includes, but isn’t limited to:
grown black men who play the “black women want thugs” card
and
grown black women who play the “racial loyalty” card when they’re really just bemoaning their own lack of options (perceived or not)
8. flamboyantly gay people. actually, all flamboyant people annoy me, gay or not.
9. the word “homophobic”, and any other word whose etymology doesnt fit its definition.
10. people who describe themselves as “creative” or “humble”, because referring to yourself with either of these terms means that you actually dont possess the quality you’re describing.
11. people who think they “deserve” to be in a good relationship. nobody “deserves” it. if it happens? great. if not? oh f*cking well. you’re not entitled to sh*t.
@The Champ,
To your point re: homophobia, I get annoyed when people get mad at me for using phrases like “retarded”(slow) or “disabled”(not able) as if the actual word is negative. You can call these people whatever, you like. The connotation will remain negative until we change the way we look at them. No need to come up with new handles every two years.
@The Champ, so-signing on the dotted line.
i’m really mad @ back in the day aint sh*t. you know it was!!
signed,
hat2daback
@overit,
lmao
@The Champ,
The bad walking etiquette also comes in on those moving walkways at the airport. Last week, I was on one and they have 2 lanes for it. 1 for those who will choose to stand on the walkway and those who choose to walk.
Well some woman decided she wanted to stand in the middle of both lanes. I was coming through and said “EXCUSE ME” really sternly and she almost jumped out her birkenstocks. Move fool!
@The Champ,
“flamboyantly gay people. actually, all flamboyant people annoy me, gay or not.”
I’m the exact opposite of you. I LOVE flamboyantly gay people and flamboyant people all together. Lol.
I <3 B. SCOTT
that is all.
@Gem-balaya,
YOU love B. Scott?? Well who’da thunk it?
@The Champ,
“3. nostalgic nutfaces. basically, these are the people who always think everything was better “back in the day”. back in the day aint sh*t.”
Ah, yes, this is a great one. This ties into something I hate about grown folks who look down at us
raping each otherdancing and grinding on each other in the club…aka “gyrating and carryin’ on”. No disrespect, but STFU* gramps. Ya’ll know your parents were saying the same thing to ya’ll when you went to your sock hops.*This is all said in my head, of course. I ain’t stupid!
@Cheekie,
“No disrespect, but STFU* gramps.”
LMAO. Do you post on Nahright? Them ninjas stay talmbout “Ya moms is a whore! No shots.”
@Me fail english?,
LOL, no but you forced me to check it out.
@The Champ,
1. people with terrible walking etiquette. basically, a sidewalk should be treated like the expressway. you should always walk on the right side, and if you know you’re a slow walking bastard, move all the way to the right so that people can get past you
YES!!!! This is a good one.
1. people with terrible walking etiquette. basically, a sidewalk should be treated like the expressway. you should always walk on the right side, and if you know you’re a slow walking bastard, move all the way to the right so that people can get past you
i just posted this upthread. im so glad some one else feels me on this. as a pedestrian, nothing drives me crazier.
@Gem-balaya, people love to do this in westwood. three or four students walk side by side taking up the whole d@mn street and they walk at a crazy slow pace. i nearly have to plow through them.
@The Champ,
I hate the bad walking etiquette! Why do people have to take up the whole daggone sidewalk? If it is difficult for one of me to make it pass you and your line of friends/coworkers, I’m gonna have to give you the side eye (and maybe an elbow, too).
@The Champ,
Agree with this list, 100%.
Re; #7: the group that bugs me the most: black women who feel they are single b/c men are intimidated by them. I can write a book on the foolishness of that statement.
@The Champ,
4. street cyclers who ride their b*tch ass bikes to work in the middle of the street, forcing you to drive 12 mph behind them
i once opened my car door in downtown philly just as a biker was riding past me and he flew off his bike and slid a few feet afterwards.
i got out of the car cracking the f*ck up.
unfortunately, it was purely accidental on my part.
@The Champ,
4. street cyclers who ride their b*tch ass bikes to work in the middle of the street, forcing you to drive 12 mph behind them
My least fav character on the Real Housewives of NY couldn’t stop ducking her own sick cuz she does this…except she’s jogging. This is when I first realized that she is a manly a-hole
@The Champ, people do more than brush past you on a packed bus in los angeles. you get stepped on and fondled. not. cool. why am i still here? hmmm…
@The Champ,
@ bike riders hell yea mayne
I have a big engine thats loud so i scare um when i drive past um hella fast. I jus wanna open my doors sometimes when i ride pass them on narrow streets. I esp hate when they sit in front of you at a stoplight im thinkin dogg i got more acceleration then u do wtf are you doin. lol my car has a big a$$ boat horn lol scares um everytime
You know what really grinds my gears? People who don’t like Chinese Food.
My LB said one time, “It’s totally fine to dump a girl who doesn’t like Chinese food. If you can’t find something you like on a menu of over 300 items, something is wrong with you.”
I agree, something is wrong with the person if they can’t find something to eat.
@Dr. J,
Chinese food is good but Thai food got more flavors
@Luvvie,
I like Chinese food, but Thai food kicks Chinese food’s rump. Especially for someone who likey the spicy, like me.
@Cheekie,
my coworker and i just had some pad thai yesterday and i had beef satay with this bangin peanut sauce. he had “2 slar and i had 1 slar” spicy (spicy is rated by stars, lol)
i think some ppl jus had too much chinese food. i really couldn’t tell you the last time i went to one of those joints, i feel like i had their nasty 300 items too many times.
ish that grinds my gears:
-Bullies. People who take kindness for weakness then act all tender and ish when u go where they took u. Bytch u asked for it.
-Adults who really don’ t know how to interact w/ young children (cuz the don’t have any) but want to tell me what to do wit my kids. Do you have any? Have you spent the day with MY kids 2day? If I tell u my son is tired then he’s tired. Shut da fcuk up and get out of our face.
-Really super crazy overbearing, nosey (nebby for those in pittsburgh land) people. I’m really just talking about my sitter. That tired a$$ biddy needs to get some business. 4real. If she didn’t take such good care of my son her a$$ would get the ax.
that’s it for now
@pgh muse,
“Bullies. People who take kindness for weakness then act all tender and ish when u go where they took u. Bytch u asked for it.”
THIS is why I’m your e-doppleganger!
First Gear
Her – I’m hungry, You hungry?
Me – Not really. Where do you want to go?
Her – I dunno, YOU PICK.
Second Gear
Her – *looks a little down*
Me – “what’s up baby”
Her – “nothing”
Me – *goes back to making money*
Her – *12 minutes later* “How come you didn’t ask me what’s wrong again”
Third Gear
Me – *disgruntled*
Her – “what’s wrong?”
Me – nothing
Her – “Was it me, did I do something”
me – ‘ THERE IS NOTHING WRONG’
her – *all hurt feelings*….*looking like she finna cry*
Me – *mad @ some unrelated thing* *now I must calm her down*
Fourth Gear
me – “how was your day”
Her – *proceeds to detail every micro-facet of every conversation she had with her Mother and friends, down to tones of voice and body language that she intuited from a 30 second phone conversation* except that these convos took all of 30 seconds, she manages to drag the whole thing out for 15 minutes*
Me – uh huh, oh word, damn, that’s right
Her – *20 minutes later* – So how was your day
Me – “We’ll I just got fir***SHE INTERJECTS, OH BUT WAIT, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU***
Fifth Gear
Her – I have a problem
Her – *spits some minor problem that isn’t really a problem*
Me – *offers sensible solution*
Her – *drones on and on about the same problem, despite now having a quick and easy solution*
Sixth Gear aka overdrive
Her – How come you never talk
Me – *looks for gun and quickly decides since I can’t do the time and would rather meet my Lord and Savior*
@WestIndianArchie, +5 pts for the use of finna. That’s all I have to add for now
@Kindred Smile, co-sign on the “finna”. Good stuff!
@WestIndianArchie,
that is the story of just about all of my past relationships. which is why if they make it to my house, i just pull my jammy out and see what they do. if it works: great! at least i was compensated for potential torture, if not then i saved myself a headache. either way i win.
@WestIndianArchie,
this was hilarious to me!!!! thank you!
-I also don’t like when people watch me blow my nose. I want to crumble up the tissue and throw it on them
-When you say something is difficult and someone launches into how they did it lickety split, therefore it’s not difficult for anyone. Or you say so-and-so is an ass and they say “no he’s not, he’s a wonderful guy. He likes Jesus and everything” as if this is indisputable fact and not opinion.
-People with bad memories. We all change our minds and forget stuff we said before. But ppl who make dramatic gestures and rousing speeches and have ZERO RECOLLECTION of having said it…and even give you a list of reasons as to why they know it’s not even possible that they said it…*throat punch*
-People who make fun of my voice/accent. This is just mean. I know what I sound like and I don’t find it funny.
@Me fail english?,
-I also don’t like when people watch me blow my nose. I want to crumble up the tissue and throw it on them
*murrrdaaaa*
i want to smoosh it in somebody’s face now, just thinking about that. lol.
-People who make fun of my voice/accent. This is just mean. I know what I sound like and I don’t find it funny
where you from? mars?
@jana.love,
Haha. I’m a third generation NYer. And ppl from out of town can instantly tell where I’m from. In fact they make fun of my “hard” NY accent (they don’t know from a hard accent. Even I can’t understand my mom’s Brooklynese sometimes).
But fellow NYers have asked me if I was from Texas, Wisconsin, Canada, LA and everything in between cuz I just CANT be a native. My eighth grade teacher stopped a whole English class to make fun of me. I was the new girl at the time.
I also have a shrill, squeaky (admittedly annoying) voice. So I can’t really blame ppl for that…
@Me fail english?,
oh that was a let down. i was hoping you were going to say you were born in cambodia, grew up in nebraska and are now living in dubai.
@jana.love, LMAO!
@Me fail english?, folks with bad memories kill me. and they act like you’re crazy for remembering something that happened last week. to this i say, stop smokin’ that sh*t.
@Miss Patterson,
honestly, ppl with extra sharp memories bother me. mostly becuz mine sucks. i can barely remember what i ate for dinner 2 days ago.
my ex used to remember things by what suit he was wearing. “i remember you said you hated my sister becuz she was a whale with shrimp cocktail feet becuz i had on my grey suit, with the dark purple tie that has the silver triangular designs on it. and i misplaced my silver watch so i had to put on the gold one you bought me for Valentine’s day in 2003.” just stop. how is this information validating your point?!?!
@Gem-balaya, say it ain’t so. but you’re a crab like me, no?
@Miss Patterson,
yes ma’am.
another thing that irks me…bogus driving skills…
–people who brake constantly…brake when going down a little incline (w/no other cars in front of them), brake when going up a little incline, brake when approaching a green light, brake at random times where braking is not needed
–people who text/talk on cell/eat/brush hair/apply makeup while driving. basically, anyone who does more than turning the radio stations or adjusting the temperature during morning rush hour traffic.
–people who refuse to go through a yellow light…I.HATE.YOU.
259 comments…dayum that’s what happens when you take a day off…
people who do 55 in the fast lane on the highway
muhfuhs who talk in the movies…and loudly at that!
lack of cell phone etiquette…shoud you really be having a convo that serious in the breakroom at work? I don’t really need to know that you don’t know who the father of your child is.
That’s all I got for now…I’m going back to sleep.
Other Gear grinders
*Lack of paragraphs – An associate of mine wanted me to help edit her paper, and this fool handed me a 3 page paper that was one BIG paragraph. I took a look at it and promptly handed it back and said “iCan’t. Not until you get some paragraphs in your life.” Paragraphs give the eyes a break. I’mo need you not to make me go cross-eyed tryna read ur ish. Automatic fail
*Crabs in a bucket – The people who are bitter and want you to be a bitter with them. Misery loves company but I’m good here I’m at.
*Interns – 2 of my interns have been no-shows this week. And these are PAID interns. Getcho selves to work! *sigh* Now I gotta stuff envelopes myself. This can’t be life
*Customer service outsourcing – Speaking with Apu (aka Tim, as he says his name is *side-eye*) is a lesson in patience. Can I at least speak with someone who is more than 50% proficient in the King’s English? Repeating myself 3 times before I can get an answer doubles my phone time and triples my annoyance level.
@Luvvie, Co-sign on repeating yourself. I’ll do it once as a courtesy, but after that it’s an instant hang-up
@Luvvie,
“Not until you get some paragraphs in your life.”
I must find a way to work this statement into my life. Loves it!
Let’s see, unmentioned things that grind my gears:
* Scene: Red light, busy intersection. Light changes green, and the person in front of you suddenly decides it’s time to make a left turn so you’re basically stuck behind them until the light changes again.
* People who insist that everyone should be treated the same. No, they should not. The world doesn’t work that way, so clinging to PC ideals isn’t helping anyone’s cause.
* People who accept trifling behavior by saying “Judge not lest ye be judged” or some version thereof. Wrong, wrong, wrong. People should judge other people, often. Whatever happened to standards?
* People who leave the house looking perfectly groomed while letting their children look a raggedy, unkempt mess.
* People who say LOL in real life. A plague upon their houses.
I’ll certainly be back with more.
@Kindred Smile,
“People who say LOL in real life.”
People do this???
@Kindred Smile,
“* People who say LOL in real life. A plague upon their houses. ”
Wait a minute! People do this?? I mean, I’ve heard of O-M-G, but LOL? That ish don’t even sound smooth. Are they even more obnoxious and pronounce it instead of spelling it out??
@Cheekie,
My sister is of the obnoxious type. She pronounces it as “lawl,” and proceeds to giggle. She’s 19, so I told her only a few more months of that foolishness is permissible, then she can stop.
Here goes (sorry for any duplicates)…
1. Men who say they’re “babysitting” their children. How can you babysit a child that is SUPPOSED to be with you?
2.People who say “supposably” instead of “supposedly” and “nuculear” instead of “nuclear”
3.The “word” irregardless.” When you break it down, aren’t you giving regard back?
4.People who regularly complain about their lives but don’t do anything to make changes.
5. Uggs and Crocs. I don’t care who says they’re in style, Uggs are not visually appealing. And I don’t care how comfortable they are, Crocs instantly make you look stupid…unless you’re a nurse or a doctor whose wearing them at work (that’s why they were created in the 1st place).
@Voiceofreason, OMG I know a person that does all of these things.
I need to make better choices in friends
@Voiceofreason,
Uggs and Crocs. I don’t care who says they’re in style, Uggs are not visually appealing. And I don’t care how comfortable they are, Crocs instantly make you look stupid…unless you’re a nurse or a doctor whose wearing them at work (that’s why they were created in the 1st place).”
Are you me? This is word-for-word what I always say in real life. Uggs, never liked those flimsy-arse boots they 2520s wear with MINI-SKIRTS. They’re way overpriced and fug. Never thought I’d hate any fashion statement more until…
CROCS. I refuse to get some for my baby nephew. They do look kinda okay for kids, but it’s against my principles. I’m never giving money to that corporation.
@Voiceofreason, actually crocs were made for boating, so i give the side eye to medical professionals who wear them too. i don’t know, they just don’t do it for me. but then again, i wear dansko shoes to work and they’re pretty ugly too. lol.
The older I get the less tolerant I become. I am slowly turning into my mother.
1. Wearing sunshades at night, or in dark environments, tops my list. I HATE this. HAAAAATE it.
2. Indecisiveness. Someone posted it before and I am co-signing. Make a decision already. Jeesh.
3. Inventive first names. Ex: R’yanna (pronounced ARE-REE-YAWNA.) WHAT-IS-THIS? Back in the day everyone added ‘le’ or ‘la’ as a prefix to make the name appear French, I suppose. What language is R apostrophe from? When I see names like this on paper I cannot seem to stop grimacing.
4. Facebook status updates from your mobile phone. Really? You have nothing else to do?
That’s the short list. It lengthens when I’m at work.
@Ms. Hall,
“Inventive first names. Ex: R’yanna (pronounced ARE-REE-YAWNA.) WHAT-IS-THIS? Back in the day everyone added ‘le’ or ‘la’ as a prefix to make the name appear French, I suppose. What language is R apostrophe from? When I see names like this on paper I cannot seem to stop grimacing.”
My mom has a student named L-A. Guess how you pronounce it?
WAIT
FOR
IT
Ladasha. Why? Why???????
@Voiceofreason,
You just made that up. No amount of inbreeding could produce a name like that. Common sense would kick in at some point.
@Ms. Hall,
I truly wish I did. Life is gonna be rough for that child.
Did you see the post about my boy’s cousin named Chrisp? Pronounced Chris with a silent “P.”
@Voiceofreason,
Not a silent P. Why do people want to defy phonetics? It’s as if these new parents believe their children will remain 12 forever. Who will take L-A seriously? I foresee a legal name change in the future.
@Voiceofreason,
“Ladasha. Why? Why???????”
This chick I work with was telling me she heard of someone named Ladasha spelled la-sha. I thought she made that ish up.
@Voiceofreason,
“My mom has a student named L-A. Guess how you pronounce it?
WAIT
FOR
IT
Ladasha. Why? Why???????”
WHAAAA?! What??!!! You should see my face right now. So “-” is pronounced “adash”? How did they fit all of that into a hyphen?
Why are people abusing articles such as aposthrophes and hyphens? Why does adding one automatically make the name French?
@Voiceofreason, L-A=ladasha… STOP LYING.
my ex was a 5th grade teacher and he had a student named queenbeam. oh how we laughed at his student roster. i’m going to hell, aren’t i?
@Voiceofreason,
Oh…. My…. Gawd….
that po chile…
Oh, and people who attempt to have a cell phone convo when there’s bad reception. If I hear static, I will hang up mid-sentence. I’m not repeating my end of the convo, and if you wanna wallow in a dead zone, do so by your d@mned self.
@Kindred Smile,
or they call you back, d@mn well knowing they sitting next to a train pulling a cart of opera singers who play the accordion.
call me back or send me a damn txt! i know everybody got it in their plan!
@Kindred Smile,
I hate when I tell ppl they’re breaking up so they speak LOUDER. I’m not hard of hearing. The problem is reception. Call back when your brain works.
@Me fail english?,
LMAO!
@Kindred Smile,
“If I hear static, I will hang up mid-sentence. ”
I do this often. I think it’s kind of rude but oh well.
I tend to be a very forgiving person unless I’m very stressed our or very tired. Since those two tend to coincide and I usually recognize when I’m too stressed and tired to continue to be productive at what I’m doing, I’m usually at home, or on my way home during this time.
However, those few, precious, and sacred minutes that I’m in transit, the dark storm clouds of rage, anger vengeance just hiding beyond the visible horizon, those are the witching hour.
To illustrate the effects of the witching hour, I will cite an example of something that happened yesterday with good kamakula, then explain what would have happened had it been bad kamakula.
Good Kamakula was driving to the waterfront. Approaching beechwood blvd, he happened to get caught behind a couple cars stopped at a stop light in a manner that caused him to block the exit of a gas station. There were several cars behind Good Kamakula and cars in the lane to his immediate left. Pretty much, no place for Good Kamakula to go.
A minute passes and two women in some car, both over 50, one possibly the other’s mom, pull up to that exit signally that they want to make a turn in the direction opposite of Good Kamakula’s direction of travel. Good Kamakula happens to look over at the women, and they start gesticulating widely, mouthing curses, and essentially attempting to convey to Good Kamakula how much of a fool he is and that he should perhaps back up.
As usual in these situations, which tend to happen every two days, Good Kamakula refuses to bend the laws of physics – the most common request is that Good Kamakula’s car occupy the same space as another car. . . at the same time – and stays put. He just puts on his blank face, and looks away from the women.
Then, in his periphery, Good Kamakula notice the women inch forward, attempting to somehow squeeze in front of Good Kamakula’s car as his light turns green. Somehow, they expect that not only would Good Kamakula’s car give way, but everyone in the lane next to him would also pause to honor their intrusion. Good Kamakula looks at the women, shakes his head, shifts into first, and drives away.
Now, if it were Bad Kamakula, his response would have been simple. 1st, move forward just enough so that they could not squeeze out either in front or behind him. Put on his hazard lights. Turn off the car, get out, sit on the hood, put on his blank face, and just look at women. Then as they give up and attempt to leave via the other exit, quickly hop in his car and go block them there*.
*In this case, Bad Kamakula could not have blocked them for long because the other exit dumps into an intersection and it is NEVER a good idea for Bad Kamakula to interact with cops. NEVER.
@kamakula,
For the tometastic award of the day… Heyyyyy
Even worse are people who tell you what you should be doing with your life and have a comment to make about every singe effing move you make!
Its worse when they dont know isht about you, like the Uncle who calls/emails constantly about how I need to be doing X but couldnt make it to my college graduation and didnt even know my major, or where I worked for four years!
Urgh, sorry just had to vent.
Or those Lemony Snickets who try to wrap you up in their unfortunate events and irresponsibility. Its ten times worse when you’re related to them and cant escape.
People who don’t know about Google Maps. Seriously, its 2009. My sister just emailed me about directions to some restaurant downtown. I gave them to her and she still wanted to know which street intersected the starting point I gave her. C’mon now…if you can’t be resourceful enough to look on “the internets” you gonna have to start helping yourself.
I am not Rand effing McNally!
People who can’t control their children. I’m so sick of the “let’s see how many mushes little Tyjuan/a can hand out before i acknowledge it.” Can you please smack your little bundle of joy before the fire dept. and SWAT team show up? And whose gonna pay for this dry cleaning?
People who own dangerous a$$ dogs and have no chance of controlling them. Reaching the block only to be welcomed by the sight of ur 120 lb. pit showing off it’s 50 inch vertical while showing off its choppers? A bit unsettling. Your pre-adolescent arms covered in bodyart? Nice try, but not so assuring. I love how the owner oblivously moves as close to you as possible before trying to restrain the beast. You’re either a coward who wants your dog to do your dirt for you, or a coward whose actually scared of your own damm pet. Either way I hate you. And your dog too.
People who hand me wet spliffs. Whatever happened to the etiquette of the cipher? Die slow u #$%$%^&.
merciless convo. i don’t mind the fact that i’m only allowed to contribute a single one liner about every 10 mins(when you gasp for air), but a man who can talk on the phone for more than two hours about nothing for a week straight is not your man. He’s your girlfriend. So traumatizing that I literally sleep in the fetal position after engaging in such lovely convo.
@Mean_Mugg,
“People who hand me wet spliffs. Whatever happened to the etiquette of the cipher? Die slow u #$%$%^&.”
Can the church say amen?
I also dislike when ppl who back me up expect me to return the favor…but their ish is bogus. I know you sided with me when I told the neighbors to stop stealing my cable, but you just shot one of em. And you want me to not tell the cops? That’s why I don’t tell you nuffin, Dad!
Sidenote: Twista’s having a baby by Pinky?? BLehc!
If you don’t respect the bathroom G-code, you are dead to me and should go one yourself in traffic.
Amen PJack.
Why you gonna sit RIGHT next to me in a bathroom full of empty stalls??? Bad enough I gotta smell my own. You know I’m in here negro. Pisses me off.
Other gear grinders:
-People who don’t speak back in passing or drop there heads as if they didn’t hear or see you.
-B*tchassness
-Beautiful women who use hard core profanity like they on tha block. (unless we in tha bed and I’m blowin something up of course..heh heh)
-People who wanna stay on the phone with nothing to say (unless we have a comfortable silence with each other)
-People who wanna stay on the phone with too much to say (just email me dude)
-Folks who talk all around their point without getting to their point (Just say it!! I ain’t fragile negro)
-Know it alls who don’t know sh*t..
@Tx10inch
*tapping foot impatiently*
another thing that grind my gears is e-boos who fall off the face of the earth and then come back without a “hi e-boo, i missed you” *crosses arms across chest* hhmph
@Gem-balaya,
Hi e-boo..**strokes hair softly**you know I missed you babygurl. I’m always around.
@Tx10inch, hmmph. i don’t know if that’s good enuf for gemmie. you might be on the e-bench for awhile, bruh.
@Miss Patterson,
you said it Saks 5th
*smh @ e-boo* no e-luvin for you
@Tx10inch,
-People who wanna stay on the phone with nothing to say (unless we have a comfortable silence with each other)
This is another thing that drives me up the wall. Then when you tell them get off your phone they have the nerve to be offended… Umm, you aren’t saying anything!!!!
6. when someone has to write my name down (kris) and i say “kris with a k” and they say “k-h-r-i-s?”
b*tch are we in greece?
7. women who say “so….tell me something i don’t know about you already”
go play in traffic.
8. coworkers who ask questions at the end of a meeting that ran over
you know it’s the end of the meeting and we been locked in this conference room for 72 and 3 quarter minutes, talk to him at his desk
9. when you ask someone do you like option number one or number two? and they say “sure”
wtf!
10. ditsy babes.
@Carver The Great!,
I think I laugh at something that you say everyday! But you really tell the truth…
i.e. who say “so….tell me something i don’t know about you already”
go play in traffic.
hahahahahaha
I am really irritated by the fact that every black man (there are 5) who works at my organization feel the need to stop at my office** every day (I am the only black woman here) and say ish to me like “How you doing Miss Lady?” “You working that dress Miss lady”.
These are college educated men yet they are using their best mack vernacular. And they all refer to me as Miss Lady as if they had a conference and voted to change my name to that.
I don’t mind if they stop by but can’t they just say “wassup?” Why the need for the Barry W. impersonation?
**one just stopped by while I was reading through posts and I felt the need to vent.
couples who try and drag you into their domestics e.g. you’re out for dinner with another couple and wife says “what are you ordering? Oh- bread! How exciting. I just wish my husband here would try and be at least as exciting as your dinner choice”…
people who stand on the left hand side of the escalator and won’t move
people who stand right at the doors of the metro- thereby preventing you from entering or leaving. And they always lie that they’re “coming out at the next stop”.
people who contradict parents – in front of their kids e.g. “No, little Johnie doesn’t have to eat cabbage if he doesn’t want to. Maybe today he should eat lettuce”
sniveling and sniffling -especially if it’s in a quiet place. Blow your nose dammit!
My quirk- those people who crunch food so effing loudly- I don’t know how they do it. A carrot or apple being eaten normally is irritating enough but this chick at work who would crunch her frigging granola bars, and apples and carrots until the entire office is typing in rhythm? Urggghhh!!!
Mothers and fathers who talk about their daughter’s virginity- this is more of a creepy than an annoying thing- but ewwwwwww!!!
people who get all annoyed when a hostess asks you to say, remove your shoes before entering the house or don’t wash your hands in the kitchen sink. Sure-it’s not how you do it at your home, but that’s how SHE does it and you’re at her house.
@Wanjiru,
couples who try and drag you into their domestics e.g. you’re out for dinner with another couple and wife says “what are you ordering? Oh- bread! How exciting. I just wish my husband here would try and be at least as exciting as your dinner choice”…
This is delightfully awkward! I think I’d just grin like an idiot.
“Sure-it’s not how you do it at your home, but that’s how SHE does it and you’re at her house.”
And this is why I don’t like cooking for anyone. So I was watching the gold standard for educational programming (The Tyra Show) and Patti LaBelle was on as a guest. So in nearly the same breath as she decries folks who don’t brush their teeth before preparing a meal, she confirms that she mixes potato salad with her hands. WITH HER HANDS!!
That’s the problem with squeamish, self-described “clean” people. They’re always doing some nasty ish their damned selves!
@Wanjiru,
people who contradict parents – in front of their kids e.g. “No, little Johnie doesn’t have to eat cabbage if he doesn’t want to. Maybe today he should eat lettuce”
So true, but what I can’t stand most about that is parents letting their kids but in grown folks conversation. Tell your kid to go play with the other kids or if your kid is sitting there listening tell them to realize that it is not their conversation and no one in the conversation really wants to hear their 2 cents!
oh and “Africa” specific
- referring to places using western references as the point of reference e.g. Rwanda is the Switzerland of Africa. No!!! It’s the Rwanda of Africa!!!
- Been to’s who have an indefatigable way of tying everything to “well, back in the US” or “Back in Finland” the roads were washed twice a day. Shut up fool! No one cares.
- People who go to the UK and come back with a British accent. Heck! people who go to the US Embassy to try and get a visa and come back from a 30 second visa interview with an American accent
- Been-tos who use US/UK colloquialisms just to show that,well, they’re been-tos
-Africans (and others in Africa) who bitch and moan all the time about “Bloody Africa” but do nothing to change the situation. They do not vote, do not volunteer to work with street kids, do not even pay taxes…Nada!
-People who drive $30,000 SUVs and try and haggle down the cost of $0.50 tomatoes to $0.47 with market women who are barely making a profit as it is
-jazz listening, in the original-French reading, java programing, loft living so called enlightened brothers and sisters who can’t stand [x tribe] because they are dirty/ circumcised/ un-circumcised/ money grubbing/ lazy [insert stereotype here]. I hate ‘enlightened’ tribalists.
Women who go back to abusers, but always want your advice even though they know they aren’t going anywhere. Example:
Alise the Great: What’s wrong girl?
Dumb H0: Jermaine hit me again and got grease and oil all over my good linens. What should I do?
Alise the Great: I told you the last 12 times to let that greasy ninja go. You too good for that!
Dum H0: Yeah it was bad enough he hit me and blacked my eyee, but this Soul Glo and Vaseline everywhere is just the last straw.
Alise the Great: *side-eye*
Dumb H0: I think we can work it out though.
People who allow their kids to be a nuisance in public places (i.e. stores, churches, office waiting rooms): If you cannot control your whining, sticky, loud offspring, please remove them from the premises until they have the understanding. My eardrums cannot taketh it- and I’m a babysitter!
*Note- stop giving your infants crumbly food in said places (Cheerios, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, etc.) unless they are perfectly capable of eating them- it only makes them quiet because they’re getting crumbs and debris all over the place?
- People who put more effort into their own appearance than their children- You mean to tell me you spent $280 on those wack microbraids and your child looks like he should be on the next “Feed The Children” spot? Off with your MF’in head!
-Speaking of the above commercials, things that tug at my heartstrings, and not being able to give as much as I would like… Have you SEEN those sad animals and/or children? I’d hug ‘em all if I could, but for now, my single tear (like the littering commercial) will have to do.
-When my mom calls me over and over again, when I’m SICK and have no voice, just to see how I am doing: Get you some e-mail or something, lady. I can’t do this- not today.
people i hate
1) people who have 6min songs as they’re vm greeting.
- if you are over 21 make a real message i dont wanna hear the latest booty shakin song
2) girls with fake stuff on them exp weaves/wigs
-takin off you weave 2 months into the relationship will get you dropped off at the nearest 7/11 or jack in the crack. It jus false advertizing
@BLUNTBLAZER,
LMAO, they say it’s not their fault you can’t tell the difference! AHAHAAAA
@Ms. T,
yup and its also not my fault when i attack a beaver lookin thing thats on my floor at 3am that ended up being a weave. I turned into ram-bro for a sec. Plus there is nuthin sexy about laying in bed with ya girl and she rips off her weeve and slings it halfway across tha room….yea that is a huge turnoff
I hate that I am just getting in on this conversation now! I know what you mean about indecisiveness at Mc Donald’s because those people take the “fast” out of fast food cause they don’t know what the **** they want.
I hate when people say let me ask you something….. If I say no are you going to stop asking your question.
Don’t ask me what I am doing because you really don’t care.
I also agree with the bathroom etiquette.
Don’t stand over my shoulder and not say anything, make your presence known and if you need something let me know.
I have plenty more but I choose to end here.
The End
things i hate that no one will understand, and forever brand me as an insensitive biotch:
1) patients who miss 5 MRI appointments because of “claustrophobia”, and say each time “i’m going to go through with it this time” no matter how much ativan is given to them.
2)patients that call me when they should be calling 9-1-1. “i think my spouse is going to kill himself, should we increase his zyprexa?” uh no, since you’ve locked yourself in your bedroom and you’re clinging to a bat you should probably call the police.
3) when the social worker i work with can’t figure out the computer. ‘miss p, where’s home?” (no sh*t, she really said this)
4) when patients & caretakers seek counsel with me for hours at a time about end of life issues. the good in me listens, always and stays on the phone as long as they need. but the cynic in me wants to say, “i’m a writer, not a psychologist. but keep going this is good material.”
5. when people talk in prons.
6. when the creepy dude who works on my floor makes me walk ahead of him.
i realize that i’m going to a warm place when i leave this earth, but it’s after 5pm on the east coast so, i don’t have to worry about anyone reading this anyway.
@Miss Patterson, last one…when referring Doctors personally call me to get their patient to be seen earlier because they think their terminally ill patient is more important than the terminally ill patient who has been waiting to see a neurologist for 3 months. no! get in line sir. we don’t play favorites here. but alas, apparently we do.
@Miss Patterson,
I read it. And I feel you. So save me a seat next to you in that warm place lol.
Let me start off by saying *dead*
I passed 2 hours at work reading all of these comments lol.
And since I’m on the topic of work….it grinds my gears when your upper management team is dumber than you. I mean, really, what is your purpose in life? If you can’t help me solve a problem I can’t fix on my own, since that’s the reason why supervisors exist (well that, and to babysit a bunch of adults in a corporate setting), what are they paying you for? And if I can answer my own damn question after I sat there with you for 10 minutes and talked it out, you need to quit.
Then I can have your job.
GREAT POST!!!
@Carver The Great!,
“6. when someone has to write my name down (kris) and i say “kris with a k” and they say “k-h-r-i-s?”
b*tch are we in greece?”
LOL. I must agree. The word c-r-y-s-t-a-l is in the dictionary. Why must we change it to Chrystal, Krystal or Cristal?