Friday Fun: Oh No (S)He Didn’t!
In light of yesterday’s post from Heather Hunter — who’s probably not the p0rn star — and her wayward speaking beau (and the “man’s” attempt to shut us down for a few hours), I figure I’d delve a little deeper into the “wrong sh*t to say” phenomenon. You see, women often allude to the fact that a lot of dudes would get a lot further with them if they’d never open their mouths.
I suppose a lot of guys do say the wrong thing…I suppose. Then again, it always works on some chick. Let’s face it, all women don’t have standards. Which bodes well for guys who don’t really like chicks with standards. That’s the win-win.
Anyway, for a little Friday fun, I figured I’d throw out my guess as to five statements that would probably ruin any woman’s first impression of a man. Let’s see if I know what I’m talking about. I think I do.
PANAMA SPITS THAT HOT FIYAH: 5 STATEMENTS THAT WILL BURN YOU AT YOUR STEAK
1. “Hey bitch.”
Of course, if you’re in France, and you bring your pet Chow to the restaurant with you and it just so happens to be a , ya know, b*tch, it’s quite possible that he was talking to your dog since all dogs go to heaven. And you DO NOT want to get in trouble with big guy upstairs by NOT recognizing the b*tch at the bar…right? Right??
2. “Girl, your a** looks like two basketballs stuffed with two watermelons being eaten by two midgets down there. Hell, I don’t know whether to bounce, bite, or give your ass a pound.”
Yeah, even I have no defense for that one. By the way? That’s a lot of arse.
3. “I’m not really a big fan of relationships. I really just want to have the kind of *word that rhymes with flex* with you that monkeys have when they’re mad at the gazelles. Girl, you know what I’m talking about…”
Interestingly, many women say this is what they’d rather hear from a man than all the game he’s spitting. I don’t believe you, you need more people. I can’t see how any man who says this to a woman would really be given honesty points. In fact, I don’t think ANY man would come out well in this situation. Except maybe LL Cool J. But then again, he’s starting to look like a woman so maybe he knows exactly what woman want to hear.
4. “Miss lady, you’re very pretty. I’ve never seen a woman with such natural beauty as you have and I just wanted to tell you that. If you think that’s sweet, wait til you see how much honey I’d like to pour all over your body. Bartender…bartender…do you have any of her bathwater back there on tap because she is a tall drink of water and I AM FEELING…THIRSTY!”
Heh heh. I’d actually like to try this at some point…just to see how fast the chick would go from “he’s nice” to “I hope you die a slow and painful death”. I have 9 seconds in the office pool.
And lastly…
5. “Great lips. I bet you **** a mean ****. “
Never mind that it might be true. My guess is that telling a woman that she probably ***** a mean **** will ensure that you go home with a *** ****. Which is never a good thing. Of course, on the off chance that she does both **** a mean **** AND wants to show you, well then slap me silly and call me Susan because you’ve just met a hooker.
So good people of VSB.com, what are some things that you’ve actually heard that ruined a first impression in something like 5 seconds flat. Ladies, I KNOW with all the stories that get floated out here that there are a million jacked up statements. And fellas (what!), fellas (what!), what are some lines you’ve actually tried on chicks that you knew weren’t going to work but you said, “who cares, maybe she’ll bite?” Deviant, I KNOW you got lines!
Sharing is caring, people.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST
250 comments
Okay, so this brotha approaches me and runs down his resume, future goals and how “powerful” he is and then looks at me in a very “how can you not want my 5′9″ slimline self” way and asks, “So baby, can you handle this?”
Now two things entered my mind…first, that the real question was, “Would I EVER IN MY GOD-GIVEN LIFETIME want to handle whatever “this” was?” and second, man that little dude really believes that cocky equals confidence…lmao!
PS- Anniversary Sale starts at 12amPST…can’t wait to get the Fall’08 bags! Yippee!
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The Comeback Girl {July 18th, 2008 at 7:08 am}
“and second, man that little dude really believes that cocky equals confidence…lmao! ”
5′6 and above is the new 6′.
re: the anniversary sale…Im already ret-ta-go…norrdy here I come.
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:59 am}
5′6 and above is the new 6′.
or 5′4….hee-hee!!
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Kamilah {July 18th, 2008 at 12:01 pm}
Girl I just had to have that Tulah Ray bag in Berry….Nordie’s is like 10 seconds behind sex as the best thing ever created!
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 12:06 pm}
You should’ve copped me some new Prada loafers instead of buying yourself frivolous handbags and such. You are really inconsiderate.
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Kamilah {July 18th, 2008 at 12:18 pm}
You I thought of you when I saw these sexy Ferragamo loafers, but I didn’t know your size….small, large, wide, narrow…lol!
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miss kate {July 18th, 2008 at 1:30 pm}
“So baby, can you handle this?”
BWAH! I keep wondering if he also declared himself to be “bootylicious”?
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A guy told me I had d**k sucking lips in the club, and asked me what my name was…. I promptly responded, “I ain’t got no name” in my drunk stupor.. my girls laughed so hard, and they still talk about it 8 years later…. and by the way had I not been drunk I may have caught an assault charge that night… Go liquor!
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ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 8:11 am}
LOL @ Go Liquor! I’d wear that on a t-shirt.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:22 am}
“I ain’t got no name”
first t-shirt quote of the day
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:32 am}
I would wear it.
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ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 9:38 am}
I’d wear that too
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Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 9:45 am}
I like the GO LIQUOR one better!
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corto {July 18th, 2008 at 10:06 am}
I ain’t got no name if you ain’t got no game!
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:38 am}
I ain’t got no name if you ain’t got no game!
LUVITMANE!!!
(ps - I think it’s indicative that we have a problem here at VSB when I log in at 9.35am and there are already 101 comments!
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 12:12 pm}
“I think it’s indicative that we have a problem here at VSB when I log in at 9.35am and there are already 101 comments!”
to quote marlo stansfield “its one of those good problems”
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:22 am}
“A guy told me I had d**k sucking lips in the club, and asked me what my name was…”
hate to say it, but it if this line is approached properly, it actually can work in getting a dude into at least a conversation where he can hopefully see if he’ll ever be able to test his hypothesis…
perhaps not on every woman (clearly) but i’ve seen it work. more than once. humor has a way of making things seem not as offensive.
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:42 am}
“A guy told me I had d**k sucking lips in the club, and asked me what my name was…”
hate to say it, but it if this line is approached properly, it actually can work in getting a dude into at least a conversation where he can hopefully see if he’ll ever be able to test his hypothesis…
can’t lie…in my former life…it didn’t “work” in the sense that he got to find out what kind of lips I really have…but it “worked” in the sense that he did have a conversation…it was funny…and we’re cool to this day…but he’s the un-cute-est man I know…so, he will never got to see what double tongue rings feel like!
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::After a slow look at my body:::
“Girl, Id bite yo butt and buy you a fish sandwich!!!”
I was too shocked, confused, and buzzed to say anything so I walked away. I know thats from some show, movie, etc. but dont know where. Either way, its the dumbest thing Ive ever heard in public.
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 4:04 am}
lol Alise….that line is from the movie “The Ladies Man.”
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 8:29 am}
Thats a great line too. I’ve said that numerous times. I like to watch that movie and take notes. Leon Phelps is a great American
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:58 am}
“Leon Phelps is a great American”
It’s like two big ol’ Christmas hams…
I haven’t seen that ish in so long.
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 9:05 am}
must own DVD
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 10:24 am}
Leon Phelps is a funny character–I love that movie.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:22 am}
““Girl, Id bite yo butt and buy you a fish sandwich!!!””
i’m DEFINITELY stealing this
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Uninspired Muse {July 19th, 2008 at 6:25 pm}
Im glad I could add to your collection.
Thanks for the movie refrence too.
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:24 am}
“Girl, Id bite yo butt and buy you a fish sandwich!!!”
Sounds like the type of stuff i want to say when i’m a dirty old man sitting on my porch watching the young supple over 18-year olds walk by, while me and my then 80-year old homeboys laugh at our conquests of years past.
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The worse thing a guy told me that I met was he wanted to rest his banana in between my two ripe watermelons. I was like WTF. After getting over the initial shock that he had the nerve to say it, I told him it would never happen and walked away.
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The Comeback Girl {July 18th, 2008 at 7:09 am}
“The worse thing a guy told me that I met was he wanted to rest his banana in between my two ripe watermelons”
it is rather erotic Shelia LOL…but not exactly “can I have your number” conversation.
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 10:26 am}
lol Comeback…if we lived in the backwoods and I was a hillbillie (no offense to any hillbillies out there) maybe.
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 8:32 am}
“taking notes”
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
Deviant LOL…put it in the column of things “not to say.”
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:36 am}
I’m saying it tonight. I’ll bet my banana on it
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:54 am}
Report back and let us know how that goes…lol
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 11:35 am}
Will do
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:25 am}
I’ve heard somebody tell a chick he wanted to bite her peach before.
I miss Atlanta.
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 10:28 am}
Panama, I guess if I was a Georgia peach that wouldn’t be too bad…LOL The things folks say.
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Nut {July 18th, 2008 at 4:46 pm}
I’ve heard somebody tell a chick he wanted to bite her peach before.
Panama you know that is an Atl classic!!!
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{Comeback Girl}: “My intuition is telling me …well its telling me that we just aren’t right for each other, something is missing. On top of which you don’t respect me. Its time to say our farewells and adeu’s.”
{my ex}: ” Your Intuition…Your Intuition???…Your Mo%^thafkin Intuition….LOL…that shit aint real.”
***and scene***
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Shelia {July 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
Comeback Girl, that’s a good one. I need to write that line down or change it to “Call me psychic, but I don’t things are going to work out between the two of us.” LOL
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I told a guy I didn’t want to sleep with him, his response was ” what you mean you don’t wanna sleep with me? I’m superman!!” then proceeds to explain that I will never find nothing better…..
*deep sigh*
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:55 am}
Why must I cry?!?! lol
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HAHAHAHA…OOOH, I LIKE THIS ONE. And for the record, #3 is not appreciated when it’s our first conversation or brought out on a first date…but at some point, when a girl is trying to figure out if she should try to be your girl, it would be cool if a dude let us know that he’s not lookin for a girl…more like musiq’s version of a B-U-D-D-Y and we can then decide if we want to hang out for it. That’s what we mean by that.
Interesting lines I’ve heard:
“Hey girl, you look like you want to f*ck me”
“Damn you look good, we’d make some pretty babies”
“You lookin’ for a stepdad?” (I was pregnant…and sexy as hell! LOL)
“My d*** has been following u around all night, u might as well dance with him”
“Damn, I ain’t seen u in a minute, u look good as hell, can i eat yo a$$”
“You look like you could put it on a brotha, i don’t know if i can hang, i don’t have a lot of stamina and i’m short stabbin’ like mug”
And on a first date with a very attractive man whose kid goes to my daughter’s daycare:
Me: “You’ve been flirting with me for a while, why’d it take u so long to ask for my number”
Him: “Well, i wanted to have sex with you, didn’t know if you’d be down”
If nothing else, the men folk keep us entertained
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:54 am}
” can i eat yo a$$”
I didn’t know this was the new thing.
In May my homegirl and I were at this club and this dude told her the same thing. We were both laughing like…wow. You just come up to a total stranger and tell them something like this…hilarious!
[Reply]
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:26 am}
“me: “You’ve been flirting with me for a while, why’d it take u so long to ask for my number”
Him: “Well, i wanted to have sex with you, didn’t know if you’d be down””
at least you can give the brotha some props for being honest
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Breeliscious {July 18th, 2008 at 9:50 am}
I can’t give him props for being honest when he honestly lacked any sense of tact. Read the paragraph above, that kind of honesty is only appreciated after we have at least established a some level of “friendship”…all I’m saying, is don’t be an asshole and say that to me on a first date…at least go through a few freakin motions and make me feel like u respect me a lil’ bit…i’d feel a lot less like a slut if i took u up on the offer on the 2nd or 3rd date or after a couple “getting to know u” phone conversations than if u said that bs to me on the first date…hence your query in the above #3.
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am}
“Damn you look good, we’d make some pretty babies”
I’ve had a chick tell me this before. she was just looking for good-haired-kids though since i’m mixed.
“Damn, I ain’t seen u in a minute, u look good as hell, can i eat yo a$$”
now that’s just funny. i love non sequiturs.
i use them all the time. i like staples.
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:46 am}
“My d*** has been following u around all night, u might as well dance with him”
I would dance with him, just for originality…that was FUNNY to me!!!
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Breeliscious {July 18th, 2008 at 1:35 pm}
Naw, he was ugly, real ugly…the ugly ones are usually the most bold.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 1:51 pm}
“Naw, he was ugly, real ugly…the ugly ones are usually the most bold.”
lol at the fact that plain ole “ugly” wasn’t enough the first time, and had to be qualified with “real”
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Lines I like the least:
*GOTDAMN/Damn/etc.- it’s nice to inspire cursing in the bedroom, but just walking down the street (especially in front of people from work!) it’s too much. What do you even say in response?
*Damn girl, you a stallion/amazon- just don’t care for the comparisons. i get what’s trying to be said but…no.
*Hey Miss Lady- I hate ‘miss lady’
*My Nubian Princess/Black Queen/Jewel of the Nile- again, just no.
*Girl, just give me an hour- do i look like a hooker?
*Can i just lick your P*ssy- I’ve already mentioned my disdain for a community tongue.
*Pss, Pss. Shoortty. Hey, HEY! I know you hear me!- I might’ve heard you, but i just knew you weren’t talking to me.
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:50 am}
*Hey Miss Lady- I hate ‘miss lady’
Really??? I actually like this…so much it’s my alias.
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:32 am}
*My Nubian Princess/Black Queen/Jewel of the Nile- again, just no.”
on one of my bored days, i tried to create the scene from don’t be a menace where the faux-black-power cat walks up to the black chick and is like, “My black queen…could you please tap that white girl for me….”
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ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 11:29 am}
LOL..LOVE that movie
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Luvvie {July 18th, 2008 at 7:46 pm}
I actually don’t mind Black Queen/Nubian Princess. Unfortunately, it’s usually uttered by some ugly dude who wants to be “ethnic”. So yeah, it depends on who says it.
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Lines that do not work and I am said to say were used……
“Say baby can I have some pink?” - I get this text from a dude every once in a blue moon out of the blue….WTF
“What are you, like 105 pounds, I can toss your lil a$$ around all night long?” - dude in a club, but you havent even told me your name or bought me a drink….tsk^2….
“Damn girl you can dance your a$$ off, how about we leave this place right now and you show me what you can do in the bedroom?” - Really?!?!?!?! Please show me the chick that this line worked on?
“See if you would’ve met me sooner I coulda been his daddy?” - Walking in the mall with my son and random dude #11,345 walks up to me and says this. He then proceeds to try and get in by using phrases like ‘know wha Im sayin lil mama’, ‘dis is my hood’, ni99a just tryin to do what he do’, ‘i keeps the game tight’, ‘i could be buying you baby phat and all dat stuff, no wha I mean.” Yeah I know exactly what you mean, you dont have a real job or a decent vocabulary and you are how old? Please kick large rocks with no shoes or socks.
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 8:51 am}
“See if you would’ve met me sooner I coulda been his daddy?” -
throat punch.
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Breeliscious {July 18th, 2008 at 9:55 am}
Why LAWD why are all these random dudes trying to volunteer to be our kids “daddies”…I’m willing to bet you for every dude sayin’ that dumb sh*t there are three babies mommas sittin at home with six kids between them that culdn’t point their daddy out in a line up!
To all the future men who want to volunteer in the middle of the d*mn street, at the gas station, in the mall, and on my way to daycare to be my child’s “daddy”…I’m so straight, she has a father, two godfathers, a grandfather, some uncles, and some great-uncles..we’re all full here, thanks.
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Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 10:19 am}
@ Breeliscious….thank you..thank you very much. I mean, I might not like the daddy he got ( just sayin in general), but um really! Kill yo self, resurrect, then kill yo self again. I promise you while I am out looking for some Nikes, a nice purse and some khaki shorts, I promise you I am not looking for a new surrogate potentially deadbeat replacement baby daddy. No thank you sir!
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JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:31 am}
“Kill yo self, resurrect, then kill yo self again”
*holy mt. st. mary’s rock of ages baptist church of god in christ*
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:34 am}
I love tellin’ igmos to go off themselves.
I also love Jay’s line from “Threat” where he says:
“i will kill you, commit suicide, then kill you again”
dumb people give me hives.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 10:26 am}
question: is the throat punch to the adam’s apple, or is it more to the side of the neck?
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:39 am}
Adam’s apple. No doubt.
You want them gasping for air.
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Intellectual Hedonist {July 25th, 2008 at 12:25 am}
it should be to the trachea so as to affect his breathing..a painful death.
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 9:13 am}
F*ckin’ Histerical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow.
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:05 am}
“Please kick large rocks with no shoes or socks.”
love it
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QCSports {July 20th, 2008 at 12:11 pm}
Seriously fellas do not use this line in front of a child!!! WTF! Some of these lines can be said with humor but saying I could have been your baby’s father IN FRONT OF THE CHILD is sooo wrong and disrespectful. There is always a line you never cross but this “line” just flys over it in a 747!
[Reply]
Classic:
“Hey girl, I know you hear me looking at you!”
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:28 am}
‘“Hey girl, I know you hear me looking at you!”’
this made me choke on my crab lasagna
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Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 10:20 am}
If dude laughed after saying this AND had decent conversation, he would definitely have my number.
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:35 am}
Yeah, I can’t imagine this not working if done properly. it’s too cleverly ridiculously.
of course it would probably help if he didnt look like lil jon AND like he really meant what he said.
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:51 am}
“Hey girl, I know you hear me looking at you!”
this would work on me if he was playing…and not already wearing his Wal-Mart smock?standard Target red shirt adn khakis…(just saying)
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Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 12:45 pm}
There you go again….hatin on the Wal-mart and Target brothas….I tell you Goody-Gum Drop…short, yella, half a roll of quarters and greeter…IT’S a done deal!
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 1:53 pm}
“I tell you Goody-Gum Drop…short, yella, half a roll of quarters and greeter…IT’S a done deal!”
can you translate this into american please?
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Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 3:15 pm}
At lernch yesterday we were discussing the success and relationship factors/potential of one who works at Wal-mart or Target or anywhere else where the uniform is smockery. Miss Goodeness was adamant about not dealing with dudes with smock like tendencies. My comment was referring to her standards in a man, not that they’re Olympic High Dive potential, but they are a little too specific and in my opinion not at the deep end of the pool. So my comment broken down means that the love of her life will be a 5′2, high yella complexioned, ‘Dont put a dolla bill next to it cuz he’s camera shy and length/girth challenged, smock wearing man who she will fall head over heels for.
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:22 pm}
LORD!!! in defense…I said if it was his second job…smockery would be acceptable…and as far as the double short dudes!! nah man!! she says that THAT is the kind of man God has for me…a short (I am 5′3.5) and crayola-d**ked man…I say…MY God knew what He made when he made me…and He wouldn’t do me like that!! He just wouldn’t!
***nervously looking toward the heavens***
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Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 3:26 pm}
It could be the short kindergarten crayons!! Especially the off brand kind, they are a little fatter…
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:40 pm}
either way…BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 3:25 pm}
lol…thank you
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Is we f*ckin’ or is we not f*ckin’? (I shared this one with ya’ll earlier. Said to me by a guy who started off good and then went down in flames. MAYDAY!!!)
Is that thang real or what? Can I touch it? (talking about the junk…the answer was no.)
Say there…you…the big red one… (yeah–you get’s nowhere on that one. I know you wanna acknowlege me and all, but a simple hello or can I talk to you–you in the purple, would have worked much better.)
You know I loooove big girls– (oh really MF’er? This is a newsflash. You’re here in my face, talking to me, trying to get my number, and I haven’t figured this out yet? Kill yourself.)
If we’re not f*ckin’ tonight, maybe you shouldn’t call me then–(Oh yeah, obviously you don’t know me like that because you got straight deleted from jump, talking to me like that. Retard.)
[Reply]
ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 9:19 am}
“Is we f*ckin’ or is we not f*ckin’”
LOL…don’t even know what to say to that one..i mean was this a first date? a stranger?
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:24 am}
A stranger girl. I’m telling you he started out talkin’ right– hey how ya doing, and then he dropped that gem. I was baffled.
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ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 9:39 am}
at least he showed his ass early..saved you some time!
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:46 am}
I did appreciate that much.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:31 am}
“If we’re not f*ckin’ tonight, maybe you shouldn’t call me then”
lol…someone took their bold pills that day
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:50 am}
Extra strength Bold–at that.
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Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am}
“You know I loooove big girls …”
I hate that one too. I don’t know why, it just rubs my rolls funny.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
“I don’t know why, it just rubs my rolls funny”
**giggling**
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Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
**rubs The Champ’s rolls**
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Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:36 am}
“**rubs The Champ’s rolls**”
…..
can’t tell if that’s soft p0rn or charity
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:40 am}
I’m confused also…lol
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Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 10:48 am}
With The Champ it is never charity.
But with me it is never soft porn.
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:53 am}
DAYUM!
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:56 am}
Ding, ding, ding.
We have a winner ladies and gentlemen.
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 1:54 pm}
i’m still confused. i dont know whether to feel appreciated or violated
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 2:07 pm}
both.
I appreciate the acknowledgement. I’m feelin all warm inside.
I can’t say I have any lines. I possess no game and I never learned how to approach the women. I usually just start convos with the most unexpected thing I can think of at the time. I figure if you are surprised or laffing you won’t notice my hand on your tiddy. You would be surprised how much that has worked. Of course I was in college and I was high alot so that may have helped. Due to my lack of game and the large supply of women that were aware of my unique personality I never felt I needed to learn the proper way to approach a woman that most of you speak of on this site. I still feel that such steps are unnecessary. When I see a woman I would like to ejaculate with I just say what I’m thinking whatever it is. If you don’t laff or immedately demand pleasure from my joystick I write you of as an unworthy peasant.
[Reply]
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:54 am}
I figure if you are surprised or laffing you won’t notice my hand on your tiddy.
I LOL’d for real on that one…no game is the best game…no?
[Reply]
Nut {July 18th, 2008 at 7:01 pm}
I figure if you are surprised or laffing you won’t notice my hand on your tiddy.
this has happened to me too many times!!!! That is not cool.
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From white guys:
“You must not be all Black…With the hair and all…”
“So what I’m short and married. I’m rich and that counts in this town.” In his defense, he was drunk off his ass. It was St. Patty’s Day.
From Black men:
“I bet you one of them Howuuuhd girls…”
“You can have friends right?” This is said after I say I live with my husband/boyfriend/boyfriend’s sister.
“I can afford to take you where ever. Here, take my phone, it has the internet, and my wallet and book us a flight.” This was said to me by one of my drunk exes. I didn’t speak to his ass for a few months.
“Upgrade me.”
“Come on. I want to get you pregnant.” This one was never seriously said to me. It’s something my boy just says randomly to any woman in earshot.
“Yo, youngin’…Yo, shawtie…You hear me…” This is said when I have the misfortune of needing to go to the bank on GA Ave just past HU. It’s often followed with some reference to me being a Howuuuhd girl.
[Reply]
Hostess {July 18th, 2008 at 9:16 am}
Oh I forgot two that came from the same guy:
“You WILL like me.”
I heard Twilight Zone music as he said it. His face was super intense.
A year later, while he was dating my LS:
“T*tties lookin’ nice tonight.”
I grabbed him by his shoulders, turned him around, patted him on his ass and pushed him–with all my force–away. Meanwhile, my girl was just standing there with her mouth open and face twisted. She couldn’t believe he’d said that.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {July 18th, 2008 at 11:14 am}
So wait first he tried to jedi mind trick you (or he just finished a hypnotism symposium or book). Then he was about to get you invited to an episode of Jerry Springer w/ seats on stage. LOL
[Reply]
ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 9:22 am}
You are liable to hear anything while walking down Georgia avenue…don’t even go to the ‘howard’ McDonald’s
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:34 am}
“I’m rich and that counts in this town.””
another t-shirt
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 10:57 am}
“Upgrade me.”
I hollered “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” at my computer… (ABCDE did you hear me over there?) it was a reflex…I’m sorry…WHY LAWD??? “Upgrade Me?” really ni**a? really?
[Reply]
Okay, seriously, ANY of the lines I’ve read so far would incite GALES of laughter and a response like “So, this is your audition material fo Def Jam Comedy/Comic View, right? How’s that working out for ya?”
Thankfully, I’ve never had anyone approach me with such wackness…probably because I usually have an evil look on my face that is designed to repel such phuckery.
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“you look like you got some good a** P*ssy, I just want to eat it” I turned in disgust and left. Guys are really a mess these days.
[Reply]
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:35 am}
“you look like you got some good a** P*ssy”
honestly though, some women do have that look
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:03 am}
thats the gospel for real
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corto {July 18th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
what does that “look” like? One guy told me that he could tell how good the pudding was based on women’s walks?
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Mimi {July 18th, 2008 at 10:17 am}
One guy told me that he could tell how good the pudding was based on women’s walks?
I’ve been told this so many times, it’s crazy. I personally don’t think I walk a certain kind of way, but maybe I do…who knows?
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:26 am}
I’ve heard this too…certain um, female swagger (for lack of a better term) that supposedly indicates this.
However, if that’s the first thing dude can think of to say to me…he’ll never find out.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:33 am}
how good the pudding was based on women’s walks?
Really…so my mean walk is what’s getting me in trouble?
Daaaang. I had NO idea.
[Reply]
ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 11:32 am}
I’ve heard that too!
[Reply]
Mimi {July 18th, 2008 at 10:08 am}
LOL…. well I’d rather a dude keep that comment to himself and maybe he’d get to experience my “good a** p*ssy” for himself! lol
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:10 am}
I’ve heard a few dudes say this.
What constitutes, “the look”?
I’m curious.
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WuDaMan {July 18th, 2008 at 11:31 am}
I think we need to include Robin Haris’ old ssa HBO one night stand as a must see. I can only remember him mocking the ladies “tee heee hee oooh it just tickles me when I walk” and on the converse “Damn I cain’t even give it away”
[Reply]
The Queen {July 18th, 2008 at 10:08 am}
I have heard this mess. Why do men think that’s gonna make you hook up with them?
[Reply]
Mimi {July 18th, 2008 at 10:09 am}
Girl who knows?!
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
i can’t really explain it. some women just have that look to em. it doesnt imply sluttiness or anything either…they just look like their wetwet gets extra wet.
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:52 am}
And this is a good thing? *snickering to myself since I already know the answer*
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BigBuck {July 18th, 2008 at 12:02 pm}
I don’t think i can really explain this……
I wouldn’t really say it’s a “look” it’s more of an essence….yeah that’s it…..Essence of good P*ssy!
I can just sense good p*ssy. Like the Highlander when he walks into a train station and he just knows there is another immortal in there, or like that movie Constantine where the dude could see what people really were underneath. I can look at a woman and within 3.5 - 4.7 seconds I will know if she has good stuff or not. But there has to be something that is a clear sign in my mind, I just can’t pinpoint it. I have had a couple “bad” ones, so maybe I am just drawn to women who have absolutely nothing in common with the horror stories. I don’t know what it really is! All I know is that when I see it, I know it, and it has not failed me in at least 5 years.
Oh here’s a little known fact, or at least one that men like to deny. The “10’s” usually have the worst p*ssy. They rely solely on their looks and thus the sex game suffers.
[Reply]
corto {July 18th, 2008 at 12:27 pm}
I can just sense good p*ssy!
again… T-Shirt nomination
BUT… I think you guys don’t necessarily SENSE good pudding… I think you can see SEXY and can sense confidence.
I think the ma’s who know what they are doing, are comfortable with and are in touch with their sexuality give that vibe. Some how that all transmits together in a bad azz walk? no? discuss!
[Reply]
corto {July 18th, 2008 at 12:48 pm}
“10’s” usually have the worst p*ssy.
Also up for T-Shirt nomination.
And imo… The reason 10’s have the worst pudding is because generally they have been regarded as sexual objects for most of their lives and dislike the connotation their beauty gives. Just because they are attractive men generally only want them for thier body/looks so they usually don’t get that in to it. Halle Berry I think is an example of this. Whereas more average women (see the VSB numbers post where 6 is considered above average) are able to have a more organic relationship with sex because they don’t necessarily feel as used for their appearances. This could be explained by the Missy’s and Moniques always running their mouths about their sex games…. I dunno.
[Reply]
BigBuck {July 18th, 2008 at 1:27 pm}
Yeah, that’s what I said! LOL!
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 1:09 pm}
good explanation.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 2:05 pm}
“The “10’s” usually have the worst p*ssy”
this is urban legend. some “dimes” have rainforests down there too, and aren’t scared to f*ck
[Reply]
I am about 6 ft. so of course I hear the..
“Daaaayum, I wouldn’t mind climbing that”
“Oooh you’re a tall glass of water, and nukka trying to get WEEET” <– gross a** nukka.
“I bet that thang deep”
Yeah, I don’t club anymore.
Thanks
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:26 am}
“I bet that thang deep”
On that note–
He gets my new theme song.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=n_nMl1pH9Hk
[Reply]
Nut {July 18th, 2008 at 6:36 pm}
Miss T- lee !!! I was a fan of the throat punch, big fan, but now KO David Banner is my sh*t!!!!! I love this song and been bumpin it in my ride. Sometimes it’s the only thing that gets me through Atlanta traffic without catchin a case.
[Reply]
Elle_6 {July 18th, 2008 at 10:51 am}
“I bet that thang deep”
I blame Lil Kim for this. Remember,
“Deeper than the p**** of a b**** 6 ft. It is just NOT cool…
[Reply]
Women wanting honesty is bullpoop. They want you to be honest so they can reject you outright instead of later so they can save time. This doesnt help the guy in any way whatsoever. Women do not realize that we want to be sucessful in our banging we are not out to make the selection easy for them. I think its very selfish on the part of the women to demand such things from the men. Hang your heads in shame for such treachery.
my most successful lines while in college - “lets go half on a sack” & “I got a blunt”
I smoked alotta weed. I was far from the ideal student but I guess that doesn’t matter now. I had fun at the college. I am a great role model for children.
[Reply]
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 11:01 am}
“bullpoop” had me sniggling so much I could barely read the comment…but a smoker chick would have definitely hit you up on that! (I mean I don’t smoke, but I’ve heard that this works, lol)
[Reply]
BigBuck {July 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm}
“Women do not realize that we want to be sucessful in our banging we are not out to make the selection easy for them.”
CHURCH!!! PREACH!!!! TABERNACLE!!!!!!
Let the church say AMEN!!!!
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 5:17 pm}
CHURCH!!! PREACH!!!! TABERNACLE!!!!!!
types the man that was “moving” boxes of bibles in the church house…LM(red)AO…too funny to me!
[Reply]
Seriously, though, there’s gotta be some womenfolk these lines work on…else the fools wouldn’t keep trying them, right? I’d love to know who they are, though, so we can round them up, sterilize them, and prevent them from propagating more stupidity. *hates stupid people*
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:34 am}
“I’d love to know who they are, though, so we can round them up, sterilize them, and prevent them from propagating more stupidity”
Eugenics could be a beautiful thing.
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:23 am}
Staunch proponent of eugenics, on the real…
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:47 am}
Yep!
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Luvvie {July 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm}
Some gene pools need to be eradicated. I am NOT against that.
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 9:37 am}
“Seriously, though, there’s gotta be some womenfolk these lines work on…else the fools wouldn’t keep trying them, right?”
there are, trust me.
[Reply]
Elle_6 {July 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am}
Is that why the stupidity population is growing in record numbers? Breeding of these fools? Something to think about… My guess is some ambitious woman wrongfully assumed she could tame one of these fools… and got caught up.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am}
I can’t be Captain Save An Idiot.
I don’t have the patience. LMAO
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My cousin, my two college roommates, and I were walking on Beale Street in Memphis. Now all of us are big girls so we just walking kicking it. We brought our “A” game. Remind u its 4 of us and this dude is like “Ay Ay Ay Shawty Ay” but we just keep walking too many drunks on Beale to just stop. Then he says “Ya’ll TOO BIG TO BE ACTING FUNNY”…….we all bust out laughing and told him that was a good one. But weSTILL kept walking anyway.
[Reply]
Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am}
ahh I miss Beale Street sometimes. I used to have a downtown apt there. Stuff like that happened every five minutes. Thats what happens when you have beer stands on the street. They need to have that in every city.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:02 am}
I gotta make my way to Memphis.
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:09 am}
Make sure you stay in the designated areas or you may not come back.
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:12 am}
I believe it.
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WuDaMan {July 18th, 2008 at 11:37 am}
You got that right!
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You know I gotta represent the brothas…here goes some of the wilddest lines/comments women have ever thrown at me:
I was on my way to work (via subway) in my good suit and suspenders when this older woman ran up on me talkin bout… “D@mn Slim, you look like you got it going on in the boardroom and the bedroom. I like that. You should call me.” I’m thinking to myself “Take it easy, Old School…that line is corny as sh*t.”
“You look like you have a big d*ck. Well do you?” How exactly do you respond to that…lol…actually, there really is only one response…
“Damn boy, you got a nice @ss! Lemme grab it.” I’m like “well, it’s a pleasure to meet you too…damn!”
“What kind of car do you drive?” I hate gold-diggers.
NOTE: I had to give the following points for sheer gangsterness
No words…just a crotch grab and a smile. shocking.
“I have a bit of an oral fixation…” WHOA!
I was standing at a bar and I noticed this chick looking at me. She was giving me the eye of the tiger…while she was holding hands with her man. Her man goes to the bathroom and when he returns they take their drinks and start walking in my direction. As they pass by the chick slides a napkin into my hand containing her name and number. I lost all faith in women that day.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 9:52 am}
“No words…just a crotch grab and a smile. shocking. ”
I think I might have met you before…lmao
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 10:00 am}
LOL! sick….just sick.
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JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:23 am}
“I was on my way to work (via subway) in my good suit and suspenders when this older woman ran up on me talkin bout… “D@mn Slim, you look like you got it going on in the boardroom and the bedroom. I like that. You should call me.”
I’m amused and amazed that was the best line she could come up with…and a lot of men would have jumped on that. Props for having standards and not falling for that lameness!
[Reply]
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 11:05 am}
No words…just a crotch grab and a smile. shocking.
“I have a bit of an oral fixation…” WHOA!
~I’ve never been to NY so I know it wasn’t me…(whew! that was a close one)
I lost all faith in women that day.
~this made me sad…real sad…
[Reply]
BigBuck {July 18th, 2008 at 12:26 pm}
I like the crotch grabbers! You never see it coming and it always seems to be an attractive woman that does it. Or maybe I am just attracted to any woman that happens to have a handful of my junk…..hmmm I will research this.
[Reply]
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:50 pm}
I like the crotch grabbers! You never see it coming and it always seems to be an attractive woman that does it. Or maybe I am just attracted to any woman that happens to have a handful of my junk…..hmmm I will research this.
***raising hand*** I volunteer to participate…this is my kind of research!
[Reply]
Luvvie {July 18th, 2008 at 7:56 pm}
OH nooo!! Hot messes!
[Reply]
Intellectual Hedonist {July 25th, 2008 at 12:39 am}
“I have (a bit of) an oral fixation…”
that is my standard line when I have had too much to drink.
[Reply]
I heard this one some years ago from these two girls I had workstudy with
“Put it on the table. We want to see it”
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 10:18 am}
I always wanted to tell someone to “put em on the glass.”
[Reply]
Panama Jackson {July 18th, 2008 at 10:20 am}
you and me both. it just seems like no matter how it turns out, it’s never a bad idea.
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 10:21 am}
HAAA! Word. I don’t even know in what context you can use this line. But it sure is a dope thing to say.
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:27 am}
You dont need context. You just say it as long as you are near some glass
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am}
LMAO!!!!! Deviant, This is the funniest sh*t ever b/c I immediately (and subconsciously) started looking at all of the glass windows in my office.
[Reply]
WuDaMan {July 18th, 2008 at 1:40 pm}
thats right D get your ninja back
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 10:32 am}
“You dont need context. You just say it as long as you are near some glass”
LOL
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:34 am}
word…said at the right time, by the right person…only good things can come from this.
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:20 am}
Thanks Sir Mix-A-Lot.
[Reply]
Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 10:47 am}
We must give thanks for he is a great negro poet. A modern day Robeson
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 10:57 am}
Langston Huges, even.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 11:10 am}
Hughes…
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Deviant {July 18th, 2008 at 11:12 am}
Thats Old Dirty Bastard
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 11:29 am}
::snicker::
Abcde A-Lexus {July 18th, 2008 at 1:10 pm}
I did this once at Kappa Beach in Galveston and it was more like “show me, I dare you” and the guy pulled his pants down and put it on the car window and we took pictures of it. I was 20, what can I say. LOL!
-No words…just a crotch grab and a smile. shocking I’ve done this, but I knew the guy but we werent intimate like that. But this is equivalent to the guys walking by and erotically grabbing your butt or running his hand across so you notice. You look for the culprit, notice he’s cute, he winks, you smile and the game is on………..
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 2:25 pm}
I did this once at Kappa Beach in Galveston
Aww the days of Kappa Beach. MAYNE HOL’ UP!!!!
The 1st line of my “bad lines” happened this past year at the Relays…lol
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 3:11 pm}
Ick @ the Kappa Beach…
*Snickers at the memories*
[Reply]
““Take it easy, Old School”
I would wear this on a t-shirt!! I’m often an old man magnet and I’m soo not in need of anyone’s social security check.
“I have a bit of an oral fixation…” WHOA!
I actually kinda like that one! Wouldn’t use it on a stranger, but i like it.
[Reply]
The Queen {July 18th, 2008 at 10:11 am}
“Take it easy, Old School!
I need that shirt too, especially if I go to Zanzibar which is full of old men desperate for a dance.
[Reply]
I have posted this up here before … but I’m still in shock about it:
“Damn ma you look GOOD in black! I bet black look just as good in YOU!!!”
In his defense … I was looking damn fine. It was one of my better fashion days, however … that kinda scared me.
A guy at a bar asked me if my pussy was lonely. No, really he did. I told him “Why no, she isn’t she has LOTS OF FRIENDS!”
[Reply]
The Queen {July 18th, 2008 at 10:13 am}
“Damn ma you look GOOD in black! I bet black look just as good in YOU!!!”
I hate to admit it but I would laugh at this one later. It is funny…just not gonna get you my number.
[Reply]
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 10:24 am}
I laugh NOW … but not when strange ass dude with 3 teeth said it to me.
Folks got jokes too, because the next time I wore that outfit ALL my male friends were saying that to me.
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 10:31 am}
I just imagined Jerome from Martin saying that line to you in that raspy, sing-songy cadence that we all know and love.
[Reply]
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 11:02 am}
It got so bad … I was glad when the seasons changed so the dress and boots werent and option anymore.
I mean because damn. I looked at myself in the mirror with that outfit on and got a lil affected. Now I’m ready for the cooler temps to wear it again. LOL.
[Reply]
Why just the other day my neighbor whom I do not know well (just that we are neighbors). Proposes that for the Fourth of July that he come over to hang with me, “Sexy Neighbor” and we can make some “Adult Smoothies”. My response was incredulity. His follow up: “Quit acting like you’re fresh out the convent and let’s make this happen”. Troll, I hope he gets testicular cancer.
[Reply]
Mimi {July 18th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
Troll, I hope he gets testicular cancer.
Well damn!! lol
[Reply]
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 10:26 am}
“Troll, I hope he gets testicular cancer.”
EEK! Damn. just damn.
[Reply]
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 10:33 am}
“Troll, I hope he gets testicular cancer.”
ice cold
[Reply]
tiffany {July 18th, 2008 at 10:37 am}
ROFL … yeah. i had my neighbor offer to sneak in my back door. man, you’d have to be about 15 years, 6 inches taller, make $30K extra,* and ACTUALLY BE ATTRACTIVE in order for me to even consider that.
(* in my defense, i’m not entirely sure he had a job and he was renting a room at my neighbor’s house, so that $30K is a low-ball salary requirement…)
[Reply]
corto {July 18th, 2008 at 10:41 am}
“Quit acting like you’re fresh out the convent and let’s make this happen”.
T- Shirt nomination.
[Reply]
Elle_6 {July 18th, 2008 at 11:15 am}
LMAO!!!
[Reply]
I hear stupid lines all the time but since I have been pregnant (and I’m just starting to show), I am like a man magnet. I attract all types of men, but mostly those with kids. They start making conversation and end up talking to me about how they remember how good pregnant woman sex is. They kinda get this gleam in their eye like they are having flashbacks. It’s ridiculous..telling me how they bet I make cute babies, offering to buy/pump my gas and buy me food. lol
I had no idea baby daddys are out having pregnancy flashbacks. And I though pregnancy would keep the men away…
[Reply]
JBoogie {July 18th, 2008 at 10:58 am}
lol…yeah, it’s good cause they can smash and not worry about getting you pregnant…cretins.
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 11:20 am}
Hey Congratulations Queen!!! When are you due? Do you know what you’re having? My wife is due on Monday but it doesn’t look like she will be on time. If that baby doesn’t come outta there by Monday at midnight…I’m issuing an eviction notice. Enough is enough.
But yeah, I thought pregnancy would be a detractor. Apparently not. My wife always tells me stories about guys who try to get with her even though she is in her ninth month. N*ggas are unscrupulous.
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 11:27 am}
N*ggas are unscrupulous.
Yep.
[Reply]
ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 11:37 am}
“I’m issuing an eviction notice. Enough is enough.”
I’m CRYING over this. too funny. Congrats by the way. And to you too Queen!
[Reply]
The Queen {July 18th, 2008 at 2:07 pm}
Thanks a bunch.
[Reply]
The Queen {July 18th, 2008 at 2:07 pm}
Due in January. I have a longggg time. Congrats to you!!!
It sounds like she has made such a comfortable home for the baby that he/she doesn’t want to leave. Please don’t evict the baby yourself. lol Let the doctors induce and do it for you.
[Reply]
GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:47 pm}
@Queen…congrats hunnyluv…I am not surprised about the comments though…the only nookie better than NEW nookie is PREGNANT nookie!
[Reply]
miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 4:03 pm}
the only nookie better than NEW nookie is PREGNANT nookie!
This is what guys tell me—I’ve never been pregnant though…*sigh*
[Reply]
Luvvie {July 18th, 2008 at 7:58 pm}
Congrats on the pending kiddy!!
[Reply]
~when I get off house arrest…I want to take you out! (loud game show buzzer)
~”redd…I love being between these pretty red thighs, and that p**** so hot, you gonna make a ni*** hair straight” (I was braiding his hair at the time…and he was FINE…”she” had a reaction that was completely out of my control…)
~I have had strangers ask to lick my tattoos…BTW, I love to have my ink licked, but I decline er’time, cuz I’m a laaaaaddy!! lol
~when I used to wear acrylic nails (long and ghetto) this brother said…”I love your nails…they would look good in my back!”…
~d@mn you have a beautiful mouth…can I taste it?
~girl your walk is smooth like that goodie is so good it’s good to YOU! (he didn’t even know my name, so it was REALLY funny to me)
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 11:27 am}
I wonder if these lines are freestyle or written. LOL! Some of this sh*t is pretty clever. HAA
[Reply]
The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm}
“I wonder if these lines are freestyle or written. LOL! Some of this sh*t is pretty clever. HAA”
for real. i think cats seriously must sit at home and think some of these shits up.
[Reply]
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 11:45 am}
I like having my ink licked, too. Is that strange?
I mean it helps I have ink in personal places. But still. I think it might be odd, even tho I like it.
[Reply]
D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 11:58 am}
“I like having my ink licked, too.”
That’s cause y’all are some freak-nasties! LOL!
[Reply]
Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 12:11 pm}
Not like its a bad thing …
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Bougie1 {July 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm}
There’s nothing wrong with it Cheryl!
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:32 pm}
I like having my ink licked, too. Is that strange?
@Cheryl…***straightening my glasses*** it’s completely natural…when you get a tattoo…the repeated needle-flesh motion…makes the area more sensitive…perfect for licking…baby! the one behind my ear, the one on my left shoulder…and the one on my left hip…WHOOOOOOO WEEEEEEE!!! makes me want to make it rain on these boys!!!
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ForReal {July 18th, 2008 at 11:59 am}
Ink linked, piercings (gently) played with…makes sense to me
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Cheryl {July 18th, 2008 at 12:09 pm}
dont get me started on the piercings. im still mad DJ Jesus Freak made me take mine out.
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Bougie1 {July 18th, 2008 at 3:30 pm}
Cheryl who is DJ Jesus Freak???
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You know something…I’m thinking about how outrageous these lines are and how they are obvious grounds for immediate and rude dismissal. But I have been shutdown on some ugly sh*t without ever even using one of those “I wanna bite that thang like a piece of grissel…” type of lines. For example:
It was late. I was drunk. Walked on to an empty train to go home. Saw a cute girl. Sat down across from her. She immediately gets up and moves to the other side of the train. Shut down before I even got ramped up…that presumptuos mofo didn’t even give me a chance to clear my throat. COLD BLOODED.
Here’s another shutdown classic…walking through the train station. semi-drunk. See cute girl.
D*Stroy: “Excuse me”
Cute Girl: *Turns around with eyebrows pleasantly raised to convey receptiveness to conversation* “Yes”
D*Stroy: *Smoothly slide over to kick game* “May I talk to…”
Cute Girl: *Loudly sucks her teeth in aggrivation and storms off*
D*Stroy: *dejectedly takes one last look at her @ss and skulks off in sobering defeat*
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Dom {July 18th, 2008 at 3:24 pm}
*Loudly sucks her teeth in aggrivation and storms off*—LOL! I dont know why its so funny to me when women suck their teeth, but it is. Maybe because its like theyre so damn disgusted they dont even have words!
Maybe you should stop tryna holler at chicks drunk! Lol!
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 5:08 pm}
LMAO! Yeah…Fortunately, I have since put my jersey up on the shelf. But show me a guy who says he hasn’t been shutdown and I will show you a liar.
But you are right the Drunkenness was definitely the common denominator!
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:45 pm}
damn luv…thank God you don’t have to worry about “holler-ing” no more…lol
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D*Boy- D*Stroy {July 18th, 2008 at 5:15 pm}
These were low points in my mac-adociousness. I remember that on both occasions I was feeling super-confident after an evening of macking only to have the night ruined by some dismissive and attitudinal mofos.
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“Damm girl! You got some birthing hips!” …. I was thoroughly disgusted!
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The Champ {July 18th, 2008 at 2:13 pm}
“Damm girl! You got some birthing hips!” …. I was thoroughly disgusted!
did this guy happen to be a slave?
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Leila {July 18th, 2008 at 5:21 pm}
LOL!
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Luvvie {July 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm}
LMAO!!
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GOODENess {July 18th, 2008 at 3:34 pm}
damn…birthing hips? after that did he check your teeth and comment on your shiny coat?
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miss t-lee {July 18th, 2008 at 3:39 pm}
“damn…birthing hips? after that did he check your teeth and comment on your shiny coat?”
I literally LOL’ed.
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My contributions
“Girl you don made me Fu** up these draws with yo fine azz”
While smacking his lips and making a noise I can’t describe - it was a cross between smacking, sucking, and kissing “Ummmmm Ummmm Titty Meat. I love Titty Meat”
“Yeah I just got my lick-her (liquor) license back and Im trying to put it to use”
YP (young pervert): What’s up?
Me: Not much, what’s up with you
YP: Sh*t trying to eat?
Me: (foolishly): Eat what
YP: The lining out of your p