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we’re making an exception now. vote and sh*t, please.
download midnight clear dvd ***end of admin note***
like millions of other fanboys, i anxiously anticipated “matrix reloaded” and “matrix revolutions” with the nervous intensity of a virgin thrown in a locked room with jazmine cashmere. yet, my anticipation proved to be for naught, as the sequels proved that the wachowski brothers had absolutely no idea what to do after their first shot…like a virgin thrown in a locked room with jazmine cashmere.
this actually wasn’t surprising. it would have been nearly impossible for them to meet the insane build-up, and, although the ending of the first movie was intentionally ambiguous enough to lend itself to sequels, the storyline wasn’t.
what did surprise me, though, was how my feelings about the matrix were altered because of the terrible, terrible, terrible, ending of the series. i had allowed the ending to change my overwhelmingly positive perception of the beginning, a phenomenon not limited to cinema.
despite breaking every meaningful regular season nfl record, the 2007 pats are still roundly ridiculed as failures because they barely lost their last game (hahaha!!!), and even the most spidermonkey matrix circus sex is seen as pointless without a capitial O at the end unless its with the champ.
but, when ranking “powerful endings” the romantic relationship break-up stands alone, the only ending that has the potential to make you want to forget all the good sh*t that came before
admittedly, romance presents a unique dynamic. sometimes the circumstances behind a break-up are so effed up that they effectively void the entire relationship, and sometimes it takes a break-up to see how sh*tty your stupid-ass relationship truly was
thing is, most romantic relationships are predictably decent and convenient, most relationship trouble occurs because the relationship becomes an inconvenience for someone, and most break-ups are characterized by the type of and prolonged angst and passive-aggressive inaction usually found in me fail’s panties and sam mendes flicks…not the type of sh*t you think would induce a positive perception prohibitor.
i guess we do this to self-preserve. positive relationship nostalgia is the bane of new penis and fresh p*ssy. plus, there’s no better way to sabotage your relationship future than dwelling on the past and no easier way to not dwell if you convince yourself that your past was more janky than yao’s feet.
self-preservation at what cost, though?
how healthy is it to allow a single event to have that much of an effect on your intellect? how sane will you be if you continually allow break-ups to funhouse mirror your feelings? if a black blogger bags a bald, blonde, butch stripper in the woods, will she munch the BET red carpet?
who knows. all i know is that “thrown in a locked room” is my new favorite euphemism
people of vsb.com, what say you and sh*t.
have you allowed a break-up to alter your perception of the entire relationship?
is it a good thing that a break-up welds that much power?
the vsb carpet is yours and sh*t
—the champ
Related posts:
{ 229 comments… read them below or add one }
the floor is yours and sh*t.
that how you treat your guests? kids these days aint got NO home training.
rude.
@i’m overit, BOO, u bumped me while i was typing! I was FIRST!!! **pouting while ice grilling overitey**
@pgh muse, all in the game, yo.
lol, you know i love you!
@i’m overit, BOO,
all in the game, yo.
ok, omar little.
they never should have given you n*ggas netflix.
@The Champ, ok, omar little.
they never should have given you n*ggas netflix.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet
@i’m overit, BOO, And I lub u, overitey
@i’m overit, BOO,
I know right! Can’t offer a futon, or even an Aerobed.
NO HOME TRAINING… or it didn’t stick.
Wrong, Champ. Just wrong.
@i’m overit, BOO,
You dumber than a limp peen. I sweahfo ERRTHANG!
@i’m overit, BOO,
“that how you treat your guests? kids these days aint got NO home training. rude.”
I know right? Didn’t even offer anyone toast or nothin’.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
trust me, ya’ll dont want none of my toast
@The Champ,
Especially not after I put albino roaches on it. :-p
@i’m overit, BOO,
LMAO @ Champ changing it to “VSB carpet”. Is it red? It must be red.
@Cheekie,
This whole carpet thing makes me think of that Family Guy Episode when Peter was obsessed with watching the oscars.
Thanks for bringing the fire on this post Champ. Good stuff… and watch me as I moonwalk over the first line, throw my leg in an MJ kick, and grab my crouch. **imbibing MJ** HEE HEE! I’m FIRST! LOL :-p
ummmm… ok. enough of that. Ummm yeah, i’ve let ugly break ups paint an entire relationship badly, but that’s because the relationship was prolly full of bad moments and the break up was the last straw. I definitely don’t think one should wallow in break up agony. One should go ‘head and vent, mourn and go threw all the natural emotions that happen during a sad period – then realize that “This too shall pass”, and keep it moving
@pgh muse,
“…and watch me as I moonwalk over the first line, throw my leg in an MJ kick, and grab my crouch. **imbibing MJ** HEE HEE! I’m FIRST! LOL :-p”
smh. see, thats what you get for using “imbibing” in a sentence
Apparently I am the Queen of Amicable/Indifferent/No-Closure Break-Ups. Mainly because when I broke up with someone… I moved as well… and left lots of unanswered questions (including proposals) in my wake.
Which is prally why I have the issues I’m having now. I need to learn to be mean.
@blackberry molasses,
“I need to learn to be mean.”
Said the lady that kicked a fool in his head while wearing boots.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken,
they were 5 inch pumps with lucite heels not boots. get it right.
@blackberry molasses,
I actually have no idea what that means, but I’m picturing a fine ass chick in 5 inch heels anyway.
Thank you.
@Dante_Alexander,
*wink*
you’re welcome.
@blackberry molasses,
Lucite heels?! Diamond? Is that you?!
@Me fail english?,
SIDDOWN
@blackberry molasses,
YEAH-YEAH-EY!
*makes Ronnie stank face*
@blackberry molasses and Me Fail,
***hot instigating raspy whisper***
Ronnie got her a$$ beat in the end!
@pgh muse,
E-Dopple! U my Trix! U s’posed to be on my side!! Hmph!
…U wanna dance at my brother’s party?? It’s gon’ be ballers in there…
@ Me Fail,
Bwahaha! Ur right, I’s sowwy
Trix ain’t get NO money tho… but e-dopples roll deep. E-blood is thick than water. YEAH-EY YEAH! **throwing up my “ED” and beating on my chest** I’ll be a broke down, tired, $.99 hair haven skripper 4 u 
@ me fail and pgh muse…
I’mma see boffa y’all in the dressing room. I’m clearin all them other broads out!
@blackberry molasses,
Which is prally why I have the issues I’m having now. I need to learn to be mean.
please expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
I don’t know if I can without it sound like a jumbled incoherent mess. Because that’s what it feels like.
I’ll wait for more lucidity. Maybe I’ll be able to speak on it then.
@blackberry molasses, I don’t know if I can without it sound like a jumbled incoherent mess. Because that’s what it feels like.
lmao, that is why shri fry rye took over my comments, i don’t process my own mess, don’t think yall want to either. besides, i have too much fun being ignant.
@shri fri rye, Esq.,
yeah, cept I don’t have an IGnant azz alias… unlike SOME people.
@blackberry molasses, lol, i’m sure you can come up with one if you wanted too, i believe in you!
@blackberry molasses, I need to learn to be mean.
same here, let me know when you learn, i’m a quick study.
Hmmm. Great post, Champ.
I’ve never had an ugly break-up – not from my perspective, anyway. The relationships may have dwindled down to ugly toward the end – i.e. more fighting, hitting below the belt when arguing – but the breakups have always been peaceful.
“Dude I’m moving out tomorrow, I’ve already got a place” or “I am not feeling this anymore” and then I simply don’t answer the phone for him anymore. Now, I may have been cussed out behind my back or something, but there’s never been drama.
That said, I think my picture of past relationships is pretty realistic, though the pictures of my exes are not. I have been told by at least half of my exes they thought I was cheating on them. Perhaps my break up techniques led them to that. Who knows?
@iloVEGrits,
And, apparently, I need to work on my reading comprehension skills. I had all this stuff about ‘ugly breakups’ in my head and you were talking about breakups in general. FML.
@iloVEGrits,
“Dude I’m moving out tomorrow, I’ve already got a place” or “I am not feeling this anymore” and then I simply don’t answer the phone for him anymore”
AND
“I’ve never had an ugly break-up – not from my perspective, anyway.”
EQUALS
Shells of former men left in your wake. LOL
@Luvvie,
*fool*
@iloVEGrits,
By “fool” you must mean “Speaker of Truth & Shamer of the Devil”
@Thuggie Luvvie,
No. I meant ‘ain’t got a lick of sense’
@Luvvie,
you stoopid. lol.
@Luvvie,
now that’s funny!
@Luvvie,
“I’ve never had an ugly break-up – not from my perspective, anyway.”
EQUALS
Shells of former men left in your wake. LOL
lol, yeah. i was thinking the same thing. i dont know if the VEG knows that she’s to break-ups what 90 year old women are to highway traffic.
@The Champ,
“dont know if the VEG knows that she’s to break-ups what 90 year old women are to highway traffic”
aw damn.
“…your past was more janky than yao’s feet.”
Damnit you, Champale. I’ve been “stomach sick” all day, and just visualizing those foots sent me straight to the bathroom – again. I owe you one.
Now on to the question…
Breakups will almost always sway our judgment and character when it comes to getting into another one. If the relationship was a bad one, you’re bitter and braced for the next one. That’s not entirely a good thing because you end up not really giving the new person a real chance to show that he’s “not like that other no-good” and he never really gets the benefit of the doubt for any of his actions.
It’s not a completely bad thing either because as they say, you live, you learn, so you know not to get into what even remotely seems to be another bad relationship.
Should a break-up really wield THAT much power? I want to say “no”, because there’s no real balance in having viewpoint, but we being creatures of emotion and sometimes less logic than we should have, it’s just a habit of circumstance. Not saying it can’t be changed, but it’s a “survival mechanism”, so to speak.
@RedBeanzNRice w/Fried Chicken, “That’s not entirely a good thing because you end up not really giving the new person a real chance to show that he’s “not like that other no-good” and (s)he never really gets the benefit of the doubt for any of her actions.”
This I just had to find out. But I’m my case it was a good thing I didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt because aside from the wonderful fellatio martini’s I made in her mouth, there wasnt much to give her the benefit of the doubt on.
@Mr. Mister,
thanks for ruining my breakfast, and martini’s forever
@The Champ,
Sounds like you suck at relationships.
@Mr. Mister,
“fellatio martini”
Yea I’m pretty sure I cant ever drink a cloudy martini again. No thanks to you.
@Mr. Mister,
awe dayum. Painkillers and Coconut Martinis have been RUINED FOREVER.
Thanks.BUNCHES. **side eye of DEATH**
@blackberry molasses, PUNISH HIM!
put him in the corner, something. ya’ll aint on your job.
@Mr. Mister,
“fellatio martini”
*dry heave*
I should throat punch you for this.
Great post champ!
Unfortunately i cant even comment on the post because im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years fml. What can i say Love was blind.
@JamaicanGirl,
“…im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years…”
7 years?! Good lawd, that man put that THANG on you, huh?
@JamaicanGirl,
“i cant even comment on the post because im still slightly dealing with break up issues even though i have not been with this man for 7 years”
Wow.
@JamaicanGirl, girl get your whitley on and relax relate release!!!!
@JamaicanGirl, sheeet. i can totally relate. me and my son’s father been in relationship limbo for like the past year now. I just broke up wit’ his a$$ again today. smh. if we didn’t have a kid it would have been a wrap – but children prolong the inevitable i guess. sad too cause i love his dirty draws. but he’s an a$$hole. Not saying i’m not, cuz i can be… idk.
@pgh muse, He was the first man that i can honestly say that i loved. We went to high school and college together. Every time we broke up something happened that brought us back together, i.e his granddad died.
The worst part about all this is the fact that his newest ex girl friend will not stop harassing me about a man that neither one of us are dating at the time, she just cant stand the fact that he and i are friends.
@JamaicanGirl,
“He was the first man that i can honestly say that i loved.”
sounds like you’re still in love
@The Champ,
Tell her bout her feelings, Dr. Phil!
@Thuggie Luvvie, E mentor you will not co- sign the champs foolishness.
I will always love him, but i am not in love with him.
@JamaicanGirl, maybe you need to lengthen the handle of the spoon that you deal w/ him on. n he needs to step up and lay down the boundaries. So everybody can move and nobody gets hurt.
@pgh muse,
yea i feel you i tried ta stay with my BM for my son’s sake but my MawMaw told me “beeebe dont be no bodies fool” and i realized if i keep takin her back then im tha fool so i left and neva came back now im happy
@wudaman, Honestly i have tried, sometimes we will go months without speaking and with one conversation we become BFFs again. I am moving on but i need to man up for real this time and just let him go completely and stop letting him back in my life.
I think the nature of the break-up has a direct effect on whether or not your perception changes. A bad break up will bring all the negative aspects of the relationship to the forefront of your mind, but a cordial break up will give you closure and peace and you can go on about your life.
I haven’t had a ton of relationships, and I’ve only experienced one bad break up. I was fed up with the person I was with, and I finally decided that I was over him and over it. So I broke up, and all I could remember was everything that made me mad and led to that moment. Every other relationship ended in “friendly” break ups and each of those men are still friends. We can talk about the good times we shared, the good times they are sharing with their new women, etc. But that one bad one has tainted his image in my mind. I won’t give him the time of day.
@Ashley Neicole,
“Every other relationship ended in “friendly” break ups and each of those men are still friends”
It’s always good to maintain some level of friendship with exes. Even if you don’t talk to them on the phone, you should be able to run into them in public and not get upset, lol. I am friends with all of my exes except one (the one I told I was moving out and left the next day…oh well) and it makes things easier since you are bound to run into folk.
@iloVEGrits,
unless you do like I used to and just skip town. *smh @myself*
I hate running into skeletons when I’m with new dude. Not necessarily ugly as much as they embarrass me with their loose lips.
@blackberry molasses,
“they embarrass me with their loose lips.”
HA! I bet they do it on purpose.
@Me fail english?,
of course they do. I figure no one can be just that dumb on purpose.
On some “has she done ……… to/with/for you yet?”
Ninja SHUT UP!
@Me fail english?,
“they embarrass me with their loose lips.”
this, btw, was exactly what luvvie said to me about her vagina
@The Champ, on behalf of my client, Luvvie, I would like to remind you that any mention of her inside parts is strictly forbidden in IG Title 17, section VSB.
@The Champ,
Humpty, remember when I didn’t wish you a great fall? Well I do now. And I hope all the Kings horses are unable to put you together again. :p
@The Champ,
“this, btw, was exactly what luvvie said to me about her vagina”
I was not ready for this!!!!!! My laugh went down the wrong pipe….I AM OVER HERE CHOKING!!!
@blackberry molasses,
“they embarrass me with their loose lips.”
There’s a disgusting limerick in there somewhere. I found it. Can you?
Anyway, more to point: What’s the purpose of even keeping a skeleton? I may not volunteer mad information, but, logically, if someone wants to know an answer, they’ll ask a question. At least I do.
However my persona has been labeled “cold and callous and a heartless jerk” more on that later…
@Dante_Alexander,
Its not like I’m being secretive. The past is the past and I’m not ashamed of old ho sh*t. Especially if the new man is benefiting from it.
What pisses me off about ‘skeletons’ is that sometimes, even if they truly don’t want you back, they just seem to want to f*ck around with you/your new situation out of some kinda spite or to get the last word in. Even if it wasn’t a bad break up.
@blackberry molasses,
Hmm… Not to judge, but stop messing with ho azz ninjas.
Just a personal opinion. I don’t know a real dude who would do such a thing.
Unless you were the petty, vindictive type to deserve such a transgression. I hope not…
Although I DO know a couple chicks like that, I’ve never resorted to that sort of thing myseif. Thought about it, sure, but I wear boxers. That’s a panty-type action, feel me?
I feel you… and yes, they were the epitome of b*tchazzness. Sensitive thugs that needed hugs… from they mamas. Those were my younger days…
But no, I’m not the petty type. For real, I don’t know how to be. I think that might be what pisses them off. They’re looking for a drama queen so they can talk about a ‘crazy ex’ and I’m not the one. I really just turn and walk. Hence my propensity to skip town (well not just for that. happens that my career/school moves pretty neatly fit into the scenarios.)
@blackberry molasses, “I’m not ashamed of old ho sh*t.:
1) That is a t-shirt if I ever seent one and 2) I feel an IG thread coming on with old ho sh*t:
‘Sell By’ October 08 face.
@ Dante_Alexander, Hmm… Not to judge, but stop messing with ho azz ninjas.
i hear this… but sometimes the b*tcha$$ness doesn’t pop up till after they got some blackberry molasses and lost they minds. I’ve seen some of the best men fall off their square due to some gotdayum. it happens.
@pgh muse,
Good point, e-dopple. Men be turning into whole new people after the rel’ship is done or on it’s way out. Like wtf? Didn’t you have pride when we out???
@shri fri rye *snort*
Back in the Day Ho Sh*t
Around the Way Girl Ho Sh*t
New Booty in Town Ho Sh*t
Don’t Nobody Know Me Here Ho Sh*t
@iloVEGrits,
It’s always good to maintain some level of friendship with exes.
eh. i dont know if i agree with that
@The Champ,
I don;t think she meant anything more than staying cordial.
It’s never healthy to harbor a “I’mma buss her head open to the white meat ON SITE” mentality walking through Sears.
@Dante_Alexander, LMAO, every time i hear a white meat reference i think RIP BERNIE
@The Champ,
messes it up for you new peices im cool. imagine chillin wit ya new breeezy and the ex calls not a good look homie not a good look. I cut um off for real no 30 day notice automatic eviction from my mind lol
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Yeah I agree. If I run into them in the mall or smthg I’ll hit em wit the head nod. Provided they try to get my attn first, other than that….
…I don’t want any confusion on anyone’s part. I’m over it.
@Me fail english?,
head nod shiiii i keep my o’s in diff area codes lol jus ta avoid stuff like that. I saw my ex in traffic tha otha day i sware she tried ta fallow and flag me down I almost turned into bo or luke duke yeeeehaw
@The Champ,
yea I think she meant just in case you run into this person. But maintaining a friendship with you ex…just make sure you inform your new boo of that early on in the situation. looks bad to find out that the ex is now a best friend after your boy toy gets a phone call from her at 2 am.
@iloVEGrits,
I agree. I am friendly with most of my exes. We do not check on each other daily or anything like that, but we are civilized human beings with each other and from times to times we actually do talk.
I have always found strange when people break up and can not even stand being in each other’s presence. I wonder where the friendship goes?
@Sula,
This was my point: stay cordial.
@Sula,
I had to explain that to one dude. Just because the relationship ends does not mean the FRIENDSHIP you’ve been cultivating should end.
@Ashley Neicole,
in your opinion, whats the difference between a bad break up and a cordial one?
@The Champ,
Bad break ups are ones where ppl leave w/ hard feelings. It isn’t mutually understood that the relationship is no longer working. My bad break up, I was with the guy for 3 years, and despite all of his immaturity, his inconsiderate-ness and his lack of the concept of cleanliness, I still wanted to work it out. It was my first relationship that had lasted over a year, and I thought he was “it” (as previously stated, hindsight is 20/20). I didn’t want to let go but I was also fed up. I carried some baggage around after the end. I now know I was mad that I wasn’t enough for him to want to change his ways. So, in those months following, as I was putting my broken heart back together, all I could do was focus on the negative of the relationship, and not take the positive that I had learned about men, and myself, from spending 3 years with this boy.
In other relationships, it was understood it just wasn’t worth it anymore, and me and the guy were able to move on to other people and other things and still keep in contact with each other. I don’t talk to the “bad break up” guy at all.
you know what as far as past relationships I have learned the power of forgiveness.. I was really angry about a lot of shyt that had been done to me for a long time and it led me down a very bad path for a while after I got my self together I realized two things..
there are two sides to every story and no one was ever the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend and the other person just aint shyt (although one can be more “aint shyt” than the other)
and two learn from the mistakes, forgive and move on otherwise that person will forever have a hold on you and if you dont learn from both his actions and yours you will be forever stuck in the same cycle because your actions havent changed….
Plus after all the window bussin, apt floodin .. almost grand theft auto shyt I have done, I need a little forgiveness thrown my way as well…….
@shay_d_lady,
“Plus after all the window bussin, apt floodin .. almost grand theft auto shyt I have done”
So did Jazmine Sullivan consult you for insight and background when she wrote that song?
@Ashley Neicole, So did Jazmine Sullivan consult you for insight and background when she wrote that song?
no, but she could have
@shay_d_lady,
“apt floodin”
Please share.
@iloVEGrits, girl I have shared this story before…
short version….guy meets girl, they fall in love, girl stupidly co signs for an apt, dude brings new girl to apt, new girl calls old girl to gloat when confronted guy gets real brand new, a scuffle occurs ..guy says hes going to the store at end of argument and girl turns on all sinks and tubs in the apartment (of course also using stoppers), and puts a hole in water bed (no it wasnt the 80′s) and leaves, apparently guy didnt just go to the store..ah well
@shay_d_lady,
*taking notes in case i ever need to use this gangsta sh*t for an absolutely, positively last resort.*
and i thank you.
@shay_d_lady, WOW!
@shay_d_lady,
Lisa? Is that you?
@shay_d_lady,
*sigh* You never disappoint w/ ur tales.
@shay_d_lady,
i remember this story. whoooo… GANGSTA.
@shay_d_lady, wasn’t the apt in your name too? lmao, i love u shay.
@shri fri rye, Esq., LOL yes , it was partially in my name, ..which makes it even more stupid…
@shay_d_lady,
That is EXTREMELY gangster…Wow…
@shay_d_lady,
dayyyyyyyyyyyyyum(like craig n smoke on friday) karma is a muthafugggga chick
@BLUNTBLAZER, dayyyyyyyyyyyyyum(like craig n smoke on friday) karma is a muthafugggga chick
yeah it is, I have learned to better control my anger as I have gotten older….
@shay_d_lady, dayyyyyyyyyyyyyum(like craig n smoke on friday)
i miss Friday lol
@shay_d_lady,
yells out “ms parker ms parker” lol
@shay_d_lady, @shay_d_lady, uh yall is missing the whole point of my story! LMAO
its better to forgive and move on than to let the hurt and anger control you….it makes you a very ugly person inside after awhile……..
@shay_d_lady, LOL< there is always a moral shay, i got it!
Maybe it’s just me… but Champ’s red carpet munching reference makes me NOT want to take the VSB carpet… is the VSB carpet red, by any chance? This whole carpet situation is making me extremely uncomfortable…
@pgh muse, nttawwt lol
@pgh muse,
“This whole carpet situation is making me extremely uncomfortable…”
you know, this was actually the original title of “living single” until the producers decided not to make everybody gay
“is it a good thing that a break-up welds that much power? ”
I don’t think that ‘power’ is limited to break ups. Relationships are a significant pieces of our life, for most of us anyway. And, as it often happens when a key piece of our life changes, ends or simply doesn’t end up how we expected, we take from that and use it to shape our opinion.
This is true in jobs (you had a sh***y boss/co-worker the last year of your job and you always recall that the job was he!! even though you loved the first few years), school (you loved high school but can only seem to remember the time in freshman year when your crush pulled your bathing suit down, exposing your bits to 5th period swim) and even with our parents (for the most part, you parents were decent people but you can’t get over the fact that they bought your older sister a car for graduation and gave you luggage for yours).
Is it bad that a breakup shapes our picture of the relationship? It’s bad if you are walking around holding on to anger/disappointment/confusion that freezes you and prevents you from forming new bonds. Otherwise, it’s just…normal.
@iloVEGrits,
“the fact that they bought your older sister a car for graduation and gave you luggage for yours”
LMAO! This actually happened to me. I’m still kinda salty about that bum ass luggage. Now I just use it for storage. Oh well.
the crazy thing about allowing a bad breakup to alter your perception of the relationship or the other person is that it totally ends up having your head messed up for waaaaay longer than necessary. because when you see that person again and/or you remember how they did nice things, or you find an old card that was thoughtful, there’s this whole overcorrection process–at least for me.
i had a horrible break up with this guy after months of thinking he was the most chivalrous & strong, beautiful man that i could ever have been with. after the breakup, though, he turned into this manipulative, wack a*s coward-jerk in my mind.
cut to: a message from him apologizing if he hurt me in our final breakup moment (when clearly, i was the one doing all the swinging in that fight) + him saying that really he wished our relationship had progressed the way he wanted it to, and him making his way over to me in a crowded restaurant to ask how i’m doing. Really, none of those acts were extraordinary, but since i had demonized the whole relationship in my head–when really, it wasn’t THAT bad, but at the same time, the breakup was definitely in my best interest–for so long, i turned into this overly emotional, apologetic, staring-at-his-picture & saving-his-text-messages, talking about, “was he the one, Lord?” lookin fool. meanwhile, i’m sure he’s somewhere livin his life like its golden with his new girlfriend, as he should be. (um…FML?)
moral of the story: for the next time, my bitterness has gotsta be only in moderation. lol
@charli skipper,
why did you break up with him?
Jazmine Cashmere references are a great crimefighting tool.
And is this supposed to be Matrix week up in hyeah? Never saw “Revolutions” BTW.
Anyways, on to the topic…I don’t think of my relationships in terms of how we broke up. I’m Patrice O’Neal with mines. I retain the faptastic memories. So those girls are long gone and I can’t go home again…big whoop. I did as the Five Percenters teach and got the best part. Got stories over Rob Roys and boilermakers forever as a result.
And less need to hunt for smut too…
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I don’t think of my relationships in terms of how we broke up. I’m Patrice O’Neal with mines. I retain the faptastic memories. So those girls are long gone and I can’t go home again…big whoop
you know, i actually think this is more of an issue for women than men.
i mean, sure, we’re sometimes prone to think of an ex chick as a “crazy b*tch”, but since we all think most women are slightly crazy anyway, its not much of a stretch
Patriots rock!
That is all.
@Wanjiru,
No.
@Wanjiru,
Hayle no.
Try again.
@Wanjiru,
*raspberries*
@Wanjiru,
RAIDERNATION
@Wanjiru,
PITTSBURGH STEELERS. 6BURGH, we need to say no more
@pgh muse,
Tell ‘em again gurl!!!
I’ve let a break up… as well as the last few months of a relationship completely cover the good times in a black fog!
We started out as best friends…. almost had the relationship of Dre and Syd in Brown Sugar but once we tried to go deeper, his crazy, selfish nature took over everything else.
@Nicki Sunshine,
We started out as best friends
lol, no you didnt. he was just biding his time.
@The Champ, He bided for years. Dang, will a guy really wait that long????
@Nicki Sunshine, YES!!! If they think there is even a slight glimmer of hope that they can hit, they will wait. Patiently. I think it’s a little twisted, but men’s is sick wit it.
@pgh muse,
Ya you wha sucks usually when a chick makes you wait they mess it up for themselves cause its like waitin for Chronic 2009 and tha release date keeps gettin pushed back wheneva the cd drops it betta be a classic or im cappin on you real bad and takin it back the next day and the cd’s/breezys usually arent all they are hyped up 2 be.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
hmmm… idk BBlazer (like the nickname?), I’m definitely an advocate in taking it slow. But i’ve learned this through experience. If u get to know each other first u can make the first time a classic, cuz u would do things like talk, find out what each other like, and get comfortable enough wit each other that the awkwardness of the first time wit a new partner would be diminished… idk. just my .02, fam. But after all talking, and planning, and getting to know each other,u betta make sure u don’t blow ur top in 3 seconds
@6burg lol,
yea I feel you but Im like stake ya claim ima free agent gimme a contract b4 i sign with anotha team lol.
@pgh muse, That is amazing.. this guy waited over three years, like a snake in the garden. I’d never be able to do it!
@Nicki Sunshine,
YES, they will. Heck, if I want him enough I’d keep an eye out for the opportunity while happily advancing my friendship.
It’s a tad shady…but it’s reality
I’ve only had 1 break up that Ive actually did something to me (2 years ago) and up until recently Ive been walking around holding on to an anger that has prevented me from forming new bonds of any sort.
For the past few months we’ve reconnected again, grown up, and its nice. It was interesting to find out that our break up had a similar effect on her as well. If nothing else I should be able to move on positively and make new bonds now.
Sidenote: At least I know I still have my access card to the pantees too. Check plus plus!
@Mr. Mister,
I used to get check plus plusses on my corrected homework in elementary school.
It was only later that I realized that sheet had little to no effect on my final grade.
But congrats, tho.
@Dante_Alexander, Hilarious.
@Mr. Mister,
tru why go back mayne if it was that good ya woulda neva left lol ya
“neva leave some solid gold puss: manlaw #2435″
@Dante_Alexander,
I like to be super nice prior to break ups. This way, I get to be the victim even if I’m the one doing the breaking up. And, I get to be able to ‘call on him’ in the future.
@Hostess,
gotta keep those numbers down, huh?
@Hostess,
I feel you im kinda slick if I kno its not gonna work I wait for my moment when they fuqq up and ………………..blam blindside um. exp. “you burnt my dam toast again fuggg it im out your crazy lata I cant take no more” lol then im free
Yes, it’s true. I carry a collector’s edition copy of “American Beauty in panties…and I told Champale all about it.
*throat punch*
Now off to finish the post…
Luckily, I’ve never suspected a bf of cheating, I’ve never been hit, stolen from, had somebody talk slick about my family,etc. so I can’t really say I’ve had a bad breakup. Add to that, my parents have been together since they were 15 and I wasnt sheltered from much of went on in their relationship. In short, I believe you can work through pretty much anything as long as both participants are willing to put in the work.
That said, I’m just the opposite of Champ. I always think “damn, my impatience. I just threw the baby out with the bathwater!” I get to romanticizing the past and get hit with a case of the “I Want You Back”s. Then it quickly goes away once the ex starts tryna get back in and I say “Wait a minute. We broke up cuz we aint like being together anymore. Why make the same mistake twice?” That’s one of the rare cases when I just want smthg cuz its out of reach, and when I find I can easily get it, I dont want it anymore.
@Me fail english?,
“I’ve never suspected a bf of cheating, I’ve never been hit, stolen from, had somebody talk slick about my family,etc. ”
It’s almost comforting to hear that THAT is what you think of as a bad breakup.
Or scary. I haven’t decided.
I had fun, though.
@Dante_Alexander,
lol. Come again some time
@Me fail english?,
Do you remember that Saturday Night Live Skit with Goat Boy and Tracy Morgan where they are former pron stars trying to make a living at normal jobs, but they can’t because even while working at KFC, they hear “I want a two piece and a biscuit” and go directly into pron star mode and try to get it on with the customer?
That line and a wink means something totally different to me.
@Me fail english?,
dam girl breath lol
I hada chick steal my UGK cd tha dam slut i wanted ta call 911 but we all know its a joke in yo town
@BLUNTBLAZER,
lol. Isn’t this the same chick who held the CD hostage? U love u some looney broads.
@Me fail english?,
I was expecting you to go hard on The Champ. Waste of snark.
*pouts*
@blackberry molasses,
Yeah I’m not that clever before 10:30am. And I’m not even sure what his joke meant
@Me fail english?, its ok, we never are. behold the power of make believe! lol.
Between “big azz asian feet” and “cheating teams from Boston”… I can’t stop laughting.
Break ups? What are those? I keep telling ya’ll I just fall off the grid on ‘em…lol
@miss t-lee,
Have u and VEG compared notes or something? Yall got folks sending out Amber Alerts b/c u jus come up missing. Turrble
@Thuggie Luvvie,
I know…I know…it’s madd immature, but admitting you have a problem is the first step.
*goes back to listening “The Love You Save” by J5
@miss t-lee,
“I keep telling ya’ll I just fall off the grid on ‘em…lol”
Someone please tell me why this made me visualize miss t-lee falling off one of those picture grids we used to do in school where each dot is a coordinate and you have to connect them at certain points and when you’re all done, it turns out to be a picture of a lion or something.
@Cheekie,
lol. It made me think of the time when Homer got lost 3D. That was so cute
@Me fail english?,
LMAO. That was a classic ep.
But, it’s funny how “falling off the grid” can be an evolved “wall slide” or something. That’s the second thing I thought of when I read it.
@Cheekie,
hahahhaha!!!!
@me fail english?
I too, think of that Simpsons epi with Homer…lol
Speaking of the Simpsons, I just found out that episode with the mental patient that thought he was M. Jackson, was actually voiced by him. Due to contractual obligations he had to do it under a pseudonym.
@miss t-lee,
LOL. I knew it! I have Lisa it’s your birthday on my iPod.
@Me fail english?,
Say word?
Niiiice.
@Me fail english?,
I remember that. I loved that!
**holding back tears… again**
@Cheekie,
LOL
FIRST, let’s acknowledge that the Wachowski brothers stole the original Matrix screenplay, and THAT’S why they had no idea where to take the damn story. Imagine the story for Harry Potter getting jacked in the middle of the second book. It would have become an incoherent jumble of boolsheet. Wait…
Anyway, more to point: All my breakups, save two, have been amicable and settled with no hard feelings. I’m probably one of the only people who is always honest and the EXACT same after say, 6 months of dating that I am after 6 days. That is both a gift and a curse. I think there’s a switch that flicks on after about 3 months in a woman’s brain that makes them think we’re supposed to go into a different mode called “relationship”, but I’ve still not figured out what that mode consists of. If somebody can let me know, I’d get Plies to make a song about it and be a millionaire in 3 minutes. Or I’d get Drake and Lil Wayne to do their tribute to R. Kelly again while rapping it. I haven’t decided. Either way, when I find that sheet out, I’m the golden boy without being a gay Mexican boxer.
The two that ended poorly? My ex-fiancee, who pulled a Miss T Lee and jumped ship, with my daughter in tow. If I see her, or if any of my rather large boned, chain smoking, bullet and stab wound seeing female cousins ever see her again… You remember the first time Rocky fought Clubber Lang? Yeah, well yeah… She blacker then a mufugga, too.
The other actually just happened, and it wasn’t so much bad, as it was one of those ones where I can’t see the angle. I have no idea what happened, save me moving 700 miles away. But Ninjas just kinda STOPPED talking a lot, and… it’s just a weird situation. Would be less frustrating if I didn’t have to start completely over with my stash of “in case of emergency” numbers because of my relocation. But dah well…
@Dante_Alexander,
“The two that ended poorly? My ex-fiancee, who pulled a Miss T Lee and jumped ship, with my daughter in tow. ”
Oh wow.
She was outta line with that ish…please don’t associate me with that extra foul BS…lol
@miss t-lee,
Done and done. Miss T Lee removed from “Steve Buscemi Lipstick List”
But being off that list mean, uhh… How YOU doin’?
I jest.
@Dante_Alexander,
*snickering loudly*
@Dante_Alexander,
Wait up- you’ll treat her no better (and admittedly no worse) 6 months into the relationship as, say 36 days into the (wait for it)- relationship? Wah! So does that mean that you don’t issue like frequent flier extra bonus points for being a really nice 3 year girlfriend as opposed to being a really nice person that you just met? You know, points for patronizing the same service- like the airlines do? And…
OK, I’m now all up in your business so I’ll slink off to ponder on this puzzle at length
@Wanjiru,
Trust that if she’s already made it to date two she’s already got an in. Seriously. I was talking to my good female friend (yes, we have before, but that’s not the point… Stay with the story) and she told me I’m mad picky. I didn’t see it that way, but apparently I can get close to any woman I want. I DEFINITELY don’t see it that way, but whatever. Anyway, my friend says that if I’ve actually A) even decided to go out with this person, they’ve already got an in, because I don’t go out with hardly ANYBODY I don’t have an inkling towards already, and B) decided to go out with them AGAIN, they’re basically in there like swimwear.
I have neither the time, nor the patience to date multiple females at the same time. I’ve been called a serial monogamist by a few people.
I say all this to acknowledge that, anybody who even GETS to that 3rd or 4th date is basically treated like royalty anyway.
However… I’m a dickhead, too. I keep it 100 and consistent all the way through. What I’ll do for you in the beginning, best be damm sure I’ll do it at the middle and at the end. What special priviledges would come about later? Giving you a draws drawer? Letting you touch my radio? Handing you the remote on a Saturday afternoon in the fall?
Shamefully, some of the fairer sex uses this to their advantage in a negative way. Regrettably, not more realize that they CAN have whatever they like with me.
Dah well. Ninjas with good jobs and a monogamy fixation aren’t the rage with all you new-age hippies.
@Dante_Alexander,
Ah… you’re talking about consistent behavior. I can dig it. I was coming from the POV of ‘progress’ in the (gots to be said) relationship (progress sans the subjective connotations the word implies). Kinda like @ date 2, a prospective is less likely to reveal her angst at her um.. angsty thing, or share terribly conflicted feelings at being …um…conflicted somebody, without the danger of it being too much too soon. Ditto, the other stuff( draws for drawers natch, that epitome of whodikkry IMO, the grown folks I.e.+30 years promise ring). At date 16, you then just might be the one that she’s closest to, and at this point you can be the one she uses as her sounding board for the next big thing she wants to launch. And maybe, just maybe in year 32, y’all have progressed to the point where she can call you with a blow by blow account of the latest drama in the office (no? Had to try & sneak it in). Yah… it’s all about the phone calls bruh.
@Dante_Alexander,
FIRST, let’s acknowledge that the Wachowski brothers stole the original Matrix screenplay, and THAT’S why they had no idea where to take the damn story
good point
@Dante_Alexander,
yea my BM tried ta leave tha state wit my lil boy I had to do like pimp c and say “bish HOL UP” got my kid thru tha court. She tried ta get her mex cuzzin to jump me but i handled them 5’3 soccer players with ease. Football is the real Futbol.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
She tried ta get her mex cuzzin to jump me but i handled them 5′3 soccer players with ease.
*loud cackle*
@miss t-lee,
tru story and quess who got handcuffed? at least the store owner came out side and cleared it up fuqq tha popos
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I’m laughing so hard because my brother went through a similar situation with his baby momma cousins…
@BLUNTBLAZER,
“Football is the real Futbol.”
CTFU! Don’t tell superwoman!
@Me fail english?,
sheeeit don’t tell me!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL
*puts on her BlackStar Jacket*
@Dante_Alexander,
I keep it honest at all times as well…it’s why they call me a cold hearted ice queen.
Sometimes breaking up is the best part of the relationship.
@Shelia G,
is this a riddle?
@The Champ, yes, it was a subliminal Folgers ad.
*i am gettttting coooooooooooooofeeeee”
@shri fri rye, Esq.,
So, you can smell a relationship ending when you wake up in the morning?
@Cheekie,
gnr I like that one.
@WuDaMan, whose side are you on Wu??
@Cheekie, cheeky aren’t you? but no, my relationships are made of cotton candy and the nostaligia listening to Wu Tang brings.
shri fri rye is a joy to wake up next too.
@shri fry frye, Esq,
hehe
No seriously, I thought the Folgers thang is an apt metaphor. Folks probably CAN smell a relationship ending when they wake up in the morning. lol And they spend all day angsting over how to break it to their boo-kins.
I’m I in the twilight zone today? I’m reading most of these post this morning and I have no idea what anyone is talking about lol.
I mean I understand each word individually, however put together in the sentence and paragraph form, I’m completely lost.
@Dorian G., that’s how i felt about champ’s post, then when everyone was like “great post!” i stopped, dropped, and rolled to the nearest bagel place, got food in my system and tried again lol.
try it.
@Dorian G.,
I don’t disagree with this. Maybe folks aint had their morning muffins?
@Dorian G.,
OMG, thank goodness someone else is lost. We can be lost together. In the Twilight Zone…just don’t make me go anywhere near those mannequins.
@Dorian G., Major co-sign. Thanks for sharing so I don’t feel so lost!
@Kindred Smile,
yea i jus read sipp coffee and talk shiiii
@Dorian G.,
I think it is because they have omitted some parts of their stories.
I’ve had few relationships to start with, but they ended quietly…except this one. @pgh_muse: I know about the co-parent breakup, as I’m in the midst of one (in my case, going on five years). Dude wants to marry me and whatnot. Uh, no. Yes, we’ve had our moments but in my mind the ship has sailed. I need to be by mydayumself for a while–the balcony is closed.
Yah, I’ll miss him and all but I and our daughter will manage.
After the awesomeness that was the no-earpiece-sunglasses of The Marix, I was geeked to see Reloaded. Then I saw it…at the show. That should be an F My Life entry:
I saw Matrix Reloaded at the show. FML.
I was badly tramautized that even to this very day, I have yet to see Revolutions. And my completist self ain’t even trippin’ over it at all. Odd. I still will see it one day.
And um, I need to read the comments and ish because I am lost in the sea of phonics and comprehension today as I have no idea what we’re supposed to be talking about. Maybe because it’s Tuesday. Yeah, blame it on the Tuesday.
@Cheekie,
I too, saw the sequels at the movies…and was highly pizzed that I couldn’t get that time that I wasted back.
I should sue the WACKchowski (totally on purpose) Brothers for that.
@miss t-lee,
Memo
From: BBMo and disappointed/pissed Matrix fans
To: Wachowski Brothers
Re: The Clusterf*ck that was Reloaded and Revolutions
Stop trying to fake ‘philisophical’ by writing in circles to confuse your fans into thinking they’re not smart enough to ‘get it’. You don’t have the combined mental fortitute to aptly create something of that scope. Few directors and writers do, save MAYBE George Lucas.
You stole the idea and you were way out of your league and in way over your head. The only thing that DIDN’T suck was the visual tour de force of effects. But effects do not a movie make.
Go SIDDOWN and contemplate how EPICALLY you FAILED. Especially since you are the Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid of screenplays. And not in a good way.
Sincerely,
The Pissed Off Masses.
@blackberry molasses,
YES!
Send this ish via Outlook with High Importance.
@Cheekie,
With a delivery AND read report request. And we’re NOT sending it to info@wachbros.com neither.
We will not be diverted.
@wanjiru,
For real. Don’t send it to that email address. Ol’ fake auto-reply robot email address.
I think I spend to much time analyzing past relationships which can be a good or bad thing. It allows me to really look at what went wrong & what I could have done differently (I say me because that is the only person that I can really analyze). The bad thing is that some of my past bad relationships make me a little fearful of entering new relationships.
I am a very self aware person. I dont dump my baggage or pre-judge nor am I am member to the Black Woman Black Man Haters Club!! I just want to be the best person that I can be before entering a new thing.
@Yaa,
“I think I spend to much time analyzing past relationships which can be a good or bad thing. It allows me to really look at what went wrong & what I could have done differently ”
I do the same thing, however I end up taking too much of the brunt of the blame. Then, I finally realize that person was just not the person for me.
You got my vote!
Great effort Mc Champ. Pain is nature’s teacher though. But I’m with you we need to step over that heffer and get our best college try on w/ who it is we w/. It’s the pigeon holers of the world that need to be merked by the truth that = they know nothing.
@WuDaMan, en ingles, por favor.
@WuDaMan,
where is Aif Wondra and her translation skills when you need her!?
(love you Wu)
@WuDaMan, ………….I dont know what………..
Im kinda the king of Break ups they call me “Lt. ditch a bish”
“Lt ditch a bish”= I will leave you stranded in tha middle of nowhere if you piss me off (Ive done it before but I had very good reasons: long story)
My BM really messed my head up I used to have the clean slate policy with the 3 strike rule. But I gave the BM hella strikes and still let her stay at home plate only to be a fool. So now Im justa member of the clean slate club. Maybe its my moms fault cause she is the best female I eva known beside my MawMaw and I cant find nuthin that can compare. Im not Cocky or stuck up I jus know wha I want and One day I will be victorious.
Clean Slate Club= give everyone a chance to fuqq it up for themselves
I admit im either not patient or I dont take shiiii cause nowadays I will leave so quick. Ive dropped chicks over weaves, ciggs (i hate um), weight, attitude, talking to loud, appearance etc. lol is that bad?
@BLUNTBLAZER, i wanted to continue leaving until a strong “i wish a ninja would leave me stranded took over”.
do you though, lol.
@shri fry frye, Esq,
whatchu gone do bout it lol chase my car i gotta v8 baby.
i had my reasons tho plus I leave um in well lit areas like gas stations, malls, grocery stores etc. im not that bad
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Please! I wouldn’t give you the opportunity to leave me stranded anywhere, you better drop me off where you found me!
@Ms. T,
Word, I’m tryna think of a scenario in which I’d be willing to silently step out of the car and into strandedness? I got nothing???
@BLUNTBLAZER,
How’d you even get her outta the car? I’d be kicking out windows and causing a scene til the cops came and we both got locked up before I’m just gettin outta that bish…unless it’s real easy for me to get home?
@Me fail english?,
Ain’t no way you’d be getting my team chunk arse outta the car.
I double dawg dare ya.
@miss t-lee,
Haha. I’m on the not-so-chunk side of the equation, so it’s within reason that a dude could pick my 5’3, 130 lb ass outta the car, spike me and do a TD dance around the bones. But before he successfully got me out, once he laid a hand on me to force me out, it woulda been a boxing match out that bicsh. And if I got so much as a scratch on me, yo asz is spending the night in jail! Even if I get locked up too.
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Bad??? No. Shallow??? Somewhat!
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I admit im either not patient or I dont take shiiii cause nowadays I will leave so quick.
There is a 3rd option… That BM still has you messed up.
@Sula,
You hit the nail on the head!
@shay_d_lady, uh yall is missing the whole point of my story! LMAO
its better to forgive and move on than to let the hurt and anger control you….it makes you a very ugly person inside after awhile……..
@shay_d_lady, I dont know how this post ended up down here….LOL
You know what? Despite being the emotional extremist that I am, I actually don’t allow a bad break up to cloud my view of the entire relationship.
But that may not be a good thing. Because I tend to forget about the break up, even a bad one too. And most times I shouldn’t
Please say the baby is back! Back with a real, live, grown-up office job like the rest of you drones. So now I can finally slack off and be super-inefficient all day too! PLUS with the a real live relationship and break-up under my belt. It only took 25 years of experiencing that bullish. Woohoo.
And lemme tell you the break up? It was a straight Hoodie Award winning, drama of the year masterpiece straight from a scene in Baby Boy. I was shocked at myself. I usually try to hide behind the the bohemian girl getting a PhD swag to cover up my ghetto tendencies but when that reggin called me something different than what my momma named me, the eye-rolling, neck-snapping, “witcha black a’s” flowed like Red Koolaid at a summer family reunion. I’m both ashamed and proud of myself of this at the same time. I feel like I’m in some kinda not-so secret hall of fame now filled with all the legends of women before me who refused to go out like a sucka. Like I won the Tina Turner Vanguard award or something. Okay so maybe she’s not the best example.
The funny thing is though I got out so much aggression, anger, pain and frustration in that go-round it actually helped me to better focus on the positives of what we had and not see him as an ALTOGETHER jack@ss.
@Treezy F. Baby, LOL, this post was entertaining, thanks!
I do feel a good, thorough cussing out does the body, mind and soul good every now and again. Some people need it, then when you throw in some irrlevant ish, you really get into healing.
“have you allowed a break-up to alter your perception of the entire relationship? ”
Yes. In that, I was so crushed over the breakup I allowed myself to downplay WHY we were breaking up. Thankfully, I know myself, so as things started to crumble, I wrote myself a little note telling myself to remember why I was ending things. I had to refer back to that several times.
@Babs, yeah I like to wonder if after all the tears and “baby I miss you” texts, he’s actually LEARNED anything about himself and all the issues and situations that contributed to the downfall of the r-ship.
I haven’t had any really terrible break ups, all it took was one time, one bad experience and then I took no mess.
What does annoy me to NO end, is when you calmly express why x, y and z are unnaceptable and causing an unhealthy dynamic, and ninja wanna make you feel like you lost your mind.
The key to any healthy relationship, be it with your boss or significant other, is to know thyself and hold firmly to “don’t start none, won’t be none”
My last ex called me an emotionless robot…an entire year after our breakup…and at the same time said he misses me and wishes me well.
The boyfriend before him said that I was a cruel because I didn’t care and that my experiment to try to be nicer was a good thing.
My ex-husband ended up co-dependent. We were best friends, and not in love, so that was a peaceful and happy divorce. The lack of emotions was a good thing there.
I used to be utterly indifferent, whether single or in a relationship, so I enjoyed the good times and then I move on.
I’m more open and have emotions now…but I don’t see much of a difference. So the end does not affect the beginning for me.
Heck I still love the Spiderman Trilogy though the last one was lame. If Transformers 3 is lame I’ll be alright because I frickin love T2. Heck I still support the Terminator Series (and the new Bale movie) even though T3 was horrid.