diva dudes: the relationship jabberwockys
****In part one of the toxic people examination, the champ discussed evil bitch’s broad’s (EB’s)…who they are, how to detect them, and why to avoid them. Today, he’ll shed light on the diva dude…the epitome of b*tcha*sness, and the bane of every young women’s existence****
An epidemic unique to the black community, the “diva dude” describes the mindset created in certain black men, developed after reading and hearing about the “good black male shortage” that’s supposedly sweeping through the country at a pandemic rate
Its a condition, an aura which basically lets every eligible female within a 25 mile radius know “Look, I’ve read the same articles that you have, and since I’m such an “endangered species“, I pretty much have carte blanche to do whatever the hell I want with you. Kiss the ring, desperate b-tch”.
Here are a few characteristics that they all possess. Unlike EB’S, who only have to possess 3 out of the 5 possible EB categories to qualify, all DD’S share the following characteristics. Think of this as a dating DSM-IV.
****Also, before i continue, i want to make it very clear that being a young, successful, black male definitely doesn’t automatically make you a DD. DD’s are bred in insecurity…grown-ass babies who need female attention to validate their existence. basically, the type of cats who would all of a sudden start using initials for their first names when becoming successful, thinking that “t. jonathan butler” on a business card might procure more panties than regular ole “tyrone butler” ever did****
1. They’re straight and single with no kids. 25 to 35 years old with advanced degrees and decent jobs, cars, and apartments/condos.
Basically, the exact type of black man that studies will tell you do not exist.
2. They live in cities with metropolitan areas over 250,000 people
This is very important because large metropolitan areas allows them to basically get away with their BS unfettered. If a group of women get wise and catches them, recognizing in them numerous diva dude characteristics, there’s always another mall or happy hour or convention somewhere in the city where the “mythical black man” schtick will guarantee free panties. There are suckers for DD’s with degrees born every minute (pun and double entredre intended)
3. They’ve been the “proverbial ugly duckling” until very recently
This is important, because the fact that weren’t getting any rhythm before they became notable creates an inherent bitchassness that permeates everything they do. From what i understand, this seems to be pretty common with black male greeks
4. They’re only friends with other diva dudes
All DD’s are close friends with between one and four other diva dudes, a safe number which gives them a couple clubbing and drinking buddies, but not so many that their diva light doesn’t shine as bright.
Remember, these are not alphas dogs, just a bunch of beta d-cks constantly thirsty for attention, hoping that a chick he walks past at the mall will happen to see the SAAB keys he’s “nonchalantly” jigging in his left hand and double-take.
Diva dudes are to be detected and avoided at all costs, and each gender has their own specific reason
1. *women*
They will run through and ruin you. It’s that simple.
2. *men*
Because DD behavior can be very tempting for a man to emulate, it’s very important that you do whatever you can to distance yourself from them. It’s akin to being in constant close contact with a group of porn stars or crackheads. The more you surround yourself with them, the more you’ll begin to justify their questionable behavior, eventually leading to you picking up the proverbial crack pipe, thinking “this must be a hell of a drug”
Admittedly, there is a certain allure to living this lifestyle. Not so much in the DD actions, but in the figurative thumbing of the nose at all the shit saying that all black men between 17-35 are either imprisoned, uneducated, unemployed, or gay. Despite the attraction to this state of mind, you have to remember that these are the dudes who probably will end up like Champ Kind from Anchorman when they reach 40…
…single, lonely, and unable to function without the aid of his crew of like-minded relationship nincompoops. destined to a lifetime of terribly furnished apartments and occasionally getting “lucky” when some 19 year old working the hot dog stand in front of the club is impressed with his red corvette.
Again, i want to remind everyone about our 21 hour hotline at contact@verysmartbrothas.com. If you know anybody who fits this criteria and suspect that they need help, please don’t hesitate to contact us. it’s your duty. don’t let us down
—the champ
173 comments
*sigh* These guys DO exist. I keep finding them. Or, they keep finding me. Either way, it’s funny how now looking back, the studies were all a farce telling me these guys don’t exist, thus making me feel like I needed to snatch up the first one who came my way. I ended up despising these men because they had the attitude that they were a dying species. Bump that. I’m over it.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 7:59 am}
“making me feel like I needed to snatch up the first one who came my way”
moral of the story: never watch “oz”
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Well thankfully I don’t meet the age requirement yet. If someone does meet the “…straight and single with no kids. 25 to 35 years old with advanced degrees and decent jobs, cars, and apartments/condos.” qualification would that make them a DD or does it require the stuck up mindset that they are greatest gift to black women, Or would that level of success breed the arrogant attitude.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 1:34 am}
i see how that could have been confusing, so i made an edit:
****Also, before i continue, i want to make it very clear that being a young, successful, black male definitely doesn’t automatically make you a DD. DD’s are bred in insecurity…grown-ass babies who need female attention to validate their existence. basically, the type of cats who would all of a sudden start using initials for their first names when becoming successful, thinking that “t. jonathan butler” on a business card might procure more panties than regular ole “tyrone butler” ever did****
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 1:41 am}
Yeah they usually suffer from the fat kid complex, the dark-skinned complex (that we have argued about, umm, discussed before) or both. My diva dude admitted to me things that make me think he was afflicted with both.
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Definitely dealt with this type before…before I knew they had their own special category. I’m sure after crossing my path however, his diva-ish ways toppled down a few notches…I basically crushed his ego with a upper cut jab every time he let his self open.
I’ll never forget the time that he let me know he owned the building that he, his, mom and grandma lived in. Giving him his props for having accomplished home ownership by the age of 27, he says to me, “Oh don’t worry, you’re young, one day you will own property too.” He musta choked on his own spit when I preceded to let him know that I owned rental properties in the Chicagoland area all b the age of 23. To top it all off, I later found out through his cousin that his name is not even on the deed. If you’re gonna be a diva dude please at least have the credentials to be one!
Also, the thing that diva dudes don’t seem to realize is that certain stats only impress certain women. I think after me, he went back to chasing ass from the local chickenheads. LOL. Yeah, I must say I had fun busting his balls…and using him for some head. 0:)
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 7:58 am}
“I think after me, he went back to chasing ass from the local chickenhead”
the proverbial “hot dog stand” chicks
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 8:19 am}
He’s sooo Chicago! Ugh. Don’t tell me he was also a party promoter. ALL men in Chicago are party promoters.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 9:03 am}
since when did chicago become an adjective? i’ve heard “la”, “ny”, “phlly”, and “b-more” usedd as such, but never chicago
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 9:24 am}
Hold on, potna. Don’t be trying to act like my city ain’t famous. We got all types of stuff. All types.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:24 pm}
lol…i just wanted you to describe “chicago”. like, i know what it means if someone is “new york”, but the chicago adjective goes over my head
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 3:22 pm}
Ok.Chicago is a special, special place. Totally a mash-up of southern and northern sensabilities. I don’t know if I can adequately sum it up with a definition, but the following things would be extra Chicago:
-Pimps (no explination needed)
-Guys in Polo gear and that funky nerd look that Kanye helped put on the map….and on the OTHER side of town, dudes in gators and bright colored, Steve Harvey-ass suits
-Fades (as in the haircut)
-Girls in extra matchy clothes: red sweater, red belt, red heels, red purse. And all the same shade.
-Promoting parties till you are 40 and never making real money or connections from it
-Diva dudes!!!! (or as we call em, “bitch ass niggas”).
That’s all I got for now. Next time someone says or does something Chicago, I’ll point it out.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm}
“Fades”
treezy f was telling me about that. its just so…unfathomable
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 10:25 am}
Yeah I think all cities or regions can be their own verb…so Nor Cal, so So Cal…or even sides of town…so West Side, so South Side. It simply implies the fact that people from these places come with their own set of generalizations and you know here at the VSB we’re all for that! IMO, the Champ just needs to rotate and get around the country a bit more.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am}
***I meant adjective…but you know in black vernacular most words can be any form of speech.
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am}
so true, trust me we have them here in little ole Rhode Island…. and I think it’s worse here cause in this small ass city state you truly are THE BIG fish in a small pond, cause everybody knows everybody or is related to everyone… I mean whereas the rest of the world is working on 6 degrees of separation, here we are on 2 degrees of separation. So the 5 or 6 Diva Dudes that are here have their choice of chicken heads, divorcée, and otherwise intelligent, advanced degree having upwardly mobile (black, latina, white, asian, cape verdean) women that are willing to put up with his Divaness
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:27 pm}
“trust me we have them here in little ole Rhode Island”
hmmm…so maybe i need to revise the definition. btw, my cat went to providence, and always raves about the cape verdean women up there. i guess they really run that deep
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 12:39 pm}
its a breeding ground for cape verdean’s they are primarily in this southeastern New England area…Portuguese mixed with African blood, think about the genetics (similar to that found in Brazilian women). They are some beautiful people.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 1:13 pm}
why do they migrate there?
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 1:50 pm}
I have no idea
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 3:51 pm}
damn. another study i’d probably commission if i had enough money to commission studies
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BigBuck {May 13th, 2008 at 10:49 am}
I have never had a reason to go to Rhode Island before, but I think I will have to conduct that study myself and get back to you with the results Champ.
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Ana B {May 13th, 2008 at 8:15 pm}
the Cape Verdean festival is usually the Saturday after July 4-
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tits mcgee {May 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am}
I have to co-sign on Chicago having an abundance of Diva Dudes!!! And the funny part is they all have some weird ass jobs i.e., party promoters. Who still does that for real at age 35???
So yes, Diva Dudes are very Chicago.
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Elenda {May 12th, 2008 at 12:24 pm}
HA HA HA HA! I thought I was the only person that believed that you can be too old for certain jobs ie: party promoter aka nigga passing out flyers, mix CD mixer/DJ, hype men, etc… LMFAO too classic
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:33 pm}
“I thought I was the only person that believed that you can be too old for certain jobs ie: party promoter aka nigga passing out flyers, mix CD mixer/DJ, hype men, etc…”
basically, if you’re over 30 and not making over 50 a year doing this, then the “party promoter” thing should strictly be a part-time/weekend gig. its time to get a real freakin job
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:28 pm}
thanks for chiming in, tits
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 3:40 pm}
CHAMP you make a point of acknowledging tits on each blog… I think it’s your excuse to say (write) tits in public
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 3:50 pm}
i think you’re right. thank you captain ana obvious.
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tzerai {May 13th, 2008 at 2:19 am}
Really…that’s the word on the street about kats from Chi-town…without begging…I differ…
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K. {May 12th, 2008 at 10:02 am}
“If you’re gonna be a diva dude please at least have the credentials to be one!”
LOL. Yeah, some of these guys in the Philly/NJ/DE area act like completing 4 yrs @ Community College gives them licenses to be jackasses.
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Funny stuff and sadly soooo true…which is why I will NEVER move to Atlanta!!
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Suga&Spice {May 12th, 2008 at 8:44 am}
These dudes are EVERYwhere in Atlanta and it is sooo freaking maddening. In each little pack they all seem to dress similar, have similarlly furnished homes and have jobs in similar fields; all while trying to one of each other. *Argh*
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 9:24 am}
Oh yes mam I know, I dated a couple of them. I don’t do Atlanta for a lot of reasons but that is the main one. They think they’re God’s gift to women, and I surely don’t have time for the madness that comes along with that line of thinking.
So I prefer me a nice country boy who I can grow and build with, someone with a little modesty and high ambition…but he gotta be from the south, I just can’t see it any other way.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:34 pm}
“but he gotta be from the south”
whats wrong with the mid-atlantic region?
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:15 pm}
I just love me a fieldhand ass negro…big, black with a country swag! Now I know this is a direct contradiction of my refined comment a few blogs back BUT I loves me a southern man. He has to be from one of the 7 southern states: Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, North Carolina or South Carolina.
I just don’t mesh well with west coast negroes b/c their mentality is different, and up north they be on some whole other shit…so 7 southern states for me please.
Now if I can get him big, black, country yet refined….ooooooh lawd…i think i’m getting moist…did i just wet…damn, now that’s embarassing.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 1:19 pm}
“I just love me a fieldhand ass negro…big, black with a country swag!”
teacia, kunta kinte just called, and asked for your email address.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:29 pm}
that would be missdee1012@hotmail.com…
thanks, i would appreciate it if u would pass that right along and not cock block!
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 2:25 pm}
Ummm wow. I wonder if Chicken George would have a chance too or is he a tad too “mulatto” for your tastes?
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 2:27 pm}
LOL…who the hell is Chicken George?
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GOODENess {May 12th, 2008 at 2:38 pm}
(whistle blowing) FLAG ON THE PLAY! FUMBLE CLASSIC BLACK BOOK/MINI-SREIES REFERENCE!! 10 YARD PENALTY! How you gonna “loves you a fieldhand ass Negro” and NOT know who Chicken George is?
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 3:02 pm}
uhhhh, because I don’t. I don’t read about them I date em.
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Deviant {May 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pm}
LMAO @ GOODENess…
“(whistle blowing) FLAG ON THE PLAY! FUMBLE CLASSIC BLACK BOOK/MINI-SREIES REFERENCE!! 10 YARD PENALTY!”
tff
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ndenise {May 12th, 2008 at 9:20 pm}
YO!
I went to school in NC. I’m from NY. Live in Phl. Let me tell you… ain’t nothing like a slick NY dude or a big ass country muhfugga from down south. I sweddagod.
I visit my peoples down south every now and then and I am CONSTANTLY blown away by the fine, polite, hardworking, funny, crazy dudes down there.
Still, they have their share of DDs there too.
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Miss Patterson {May 17th, 2008 at 4:06 pm}
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Miss Patterson {May 17th, 2008 at 4:08 pm}
Teacia,
I present to you “Chicken George” http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/award_shows/emmys/images/roots.jpg
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tiffany {May 12th, 2008 at 3:27 pm}
@the champ: it’s a mindset thing. it’s hard to explain. but i don’t mesh with southern and country boys in the same way teacia doesn’t mesh with non-southerners. but then i’m a pretty hard core northeastern broad.
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:38 pm}
*cough*hater*cough*
How is it possible to not mesh with an entire region? That’s actually interesting to me…
Granted, I don’t really mess with chicks from Latvia, but then again I’m just jaded about Latvian chicks like that.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 10:42 am}
Now, I’ve never been to ATL, but for a minute I thought you were describing that notorious “undercover” phenomenon ya’ll got going on down there…things that make you go hmmmmm…Diva dudes…down low brothers…I dunno, but I’m just saying! Those metrosexual brothers are always the ones that are “iffy” to me anyway.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:18 pm}
No mam, that’s another blog topic all in it’s own.
I happen to like a little metro in a man BUT that shit does tend to get a little outrageous at times!
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tiffany {May 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm}
@panama: hatin’ on what? hatin’ on who? ain’t my fault y’all are some bamas (said with love, of course…lol).
there are just cultural nuances from region-to-region. like in NY, if a dude is opening doors and sh*t, it’s because he likes you.
in the south, it’s because he was raised a “gentleman.”
i also think southern dudes are a little more concerned with the wife-and-mother stuff. ny dudes are like “ay, you got half on a cleaning service?”
southern dudes want you to be a lady. northern dudes don’t care. you can be a broad.
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tiffany {May 12th, 2008 at 8:31 pm}
dang it… and i see i am also incapable of responding to the right post. this is in response to panama’s question “How is it possible to not mesh with an entire region?”
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Miss Patterson {May 17th, 2008 at 3:19 pm}
I lived in the ATL for 9 years and trust me, there’s a diva dude factory there. I agree with Treezy F. there was always an underlying element of down low-ness. Men aren’t supposed to be ‘prettier’ than me. And although there are always exceptions to the rule…i prefer the North East region men. Wait, why am I still living in Los Angeles, then?
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 10:14 am}
“Straight up pimp, if you want me you can find me in the A…A…A…A…”
*adusting fitted “A” hat and throwing up the “A”*
“this well known flow man I got this sh*t from Simpson Road, Adamsville (represent), Bowen Homes, Center Hill, and Zone 4…”
Word.Life.
God’s gift. Checkin’ in.
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Elenda {May 12th, 2008 at 12:26 pm}
I hear that! I rep the SWATS all day long!
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm}
Let me find out that my dawg is officially commenting on this blog…welcome homie!! And now that you’re here I have someone to defend my rhetoric…they be ganging up on me and shit…lol.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 3:54 pm}
“they be ganging up on me and shit”
i was gonna do a “telephone” reply here, but this is just too easy
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:40 pm}
Yeah, buddy, it’s all about the Westside.
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This is soooo on point! However, I think there are Diva Dudes, or Diva Dudes-In-Training, under 25. I encountered a lot of them in undergrad. I think Howard, Morehouse and the Ivy League schools are the most tragic and fertile breeding grounds for DD’s. What REALLY blows me are the DDs who grew up with money. Like, you had a stable homelife, you were in Jack and Jill….you didn’t quite reinvent the wheel by going to college, homie.
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2Degreez {May 12th, 2008 at 9:40 am}
So true! I had many of the same encounters in undergrad. It’s funny because once they become official DDs, their parents (maybe grandparents) buy the cars and condos/apts they flaunt. But they attempt to make it seem as if they bought these things on their own.
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BigBrwnEyez {May 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am}
Preach Sistah! The ones that come from money are the most annoying. College is expected from you playa! I have encountered many of these dudes especially here in the DC area. Thankfully they don’t step to me, as I don’t fit the “dime-piece” criteria. I get a kick out of crushing their spirits when they finally deign to speak a the sports bar or club. The looks of astonishment they project when a thick, average chick brishes them off are hysterical.
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2Degreez {May 12th, 2008 at 10:03 am}
And I mean, yes!! It kills me how they “only uck with dimes.” As if they determine the standard of beauty. They speak to you as if they’re doing you a favor. I had a guy tell me, “I would holla at you right now but I already have a girl. But I’d definitely f*** with you, ’cause I have good taste.” I rolled my eyes so hard he probably thought I fell asleep.
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 10:19 am}
“I would holla at you right now but I already have a girl. But I’d definitely f*** with you, ’cause I have good taste.”
I can’t be the only person who finds that extremely funny. That is downright hilarious. And just for kicks, I’d love it if somebody would go try that this weekend and report back to the group on how that turned out. I’d do it, but ya know, my girlfriend wouldn’t approve.
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2Degreez {May 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am}
LOL! The funniest part is that dude said it with a straight face. He was serious!
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:36 pm}
“I would holla at you right now but I already have a girl. But I’d definitely f*** with you, ’cause I have good taste.”
I can’t be the only person who finds that extremely funny. That is downright hilarious. And just for kicks, I’d love it if somebody would go try that this weekend and report back to the group on how that turned out.
yeah…this is the single funniest thing i’ve read so far this week.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:38 pm}
ummmmmmm…the week just started.
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 10:18 am}
Yeah, I’d have to agree that DC is rife with DD-ocity. Hell, there are specific HAVENS in DC for that shit. Olives, The Park, and any event thrown by ****** ***** or *** ***.
Not to mention we’re home to Capitol Hill, breeding ground for self-important f*cks on ironically, a largely unsexxy salary.
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am}
And THAT is why I got on the midnight train to Brooklyn. I don’t think I could ever find a suitable husband, boyfriend or even jump-off in DC. Manhattan is just as bad if not worse, so I be doin’ it up Crooklyn style, (what does it take to get you wild).
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 11:48 am}
this is so not sexy since I will be movin to the Merland area in a year… I am not looking forward to the disappointment.
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm}
My pointer finger and thumb spread apart just so to make an “L”, as as I look at you apologetically.
Oh, and it’s pronounced “Murrrland”.
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 1:54 pm}
I apologize… for the mispronunciation. I have to practice I figure I have enough time. And yeah the big “L” is correct I was at some club spot in Silver Springs a couple of weeks ago, men in that area are short…it wasn’t a good look.
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Miss Patterson {May 17th, 2008 at 3:22 pm}
don’t even get me started with Jack and Jill. I was a mole in that organization since the age of 12 to 18. It is INDEED a training camp for DDs and EBs alike.
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Diva dudes. I don’t think I have ever known one. I have heard of their existence, but never actually met one. I’m not the diva dude’s type so I won’t have to worry … but I will be on the lookout for my friends.
do diva dudes have metrosexual tendencies?
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 9:11 am}
“do diva dudes have metrosexual tendencies?”
i’d say maybe 60-75 percent of the time.
thing is, instead of having metro traits because that’s just who they happen to be, the diva dude’s metrosexuality stems from his insecure narcassism….the feeling that everybody SHOULD think that they’ve re-invented the wheel just because they can recite lines from an opera
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Cheryl {May 12th, 2008 at 9:58 am}
well see then that clears a lot up.
I’m not the type of woman a diva dude would go for, and a man that has to do more primping than I do isn’t my kinda dude.
yay me
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 9:30 am}
“I don’t think I have ever known one. I have heard of their existence, but never actually met one.”
Ohhh, to be so lucky!
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Cheryl {May 12th, 2008 at 10:30 am}
being a fattie DOES have some priviledges.
like everyone always thinks you are hungry so they bring you food.
that and diva dudes dont see you.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am}
OMG silly! I officially heart Cheryl. LOL.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:17 pm}
I second that one!!!
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 10:50 am}
Omg, are you serious? People never bought me food when I was bigger. Thank God, I suppose, cause losing the weight has been hard enough. Still, I woulda liked some free shrimps.
And, even then, I still met Diva Dudes! UGH. In fact, I met more then than I do now. Those dudes will sacrifice certain things in the persuit of light skin and curly hair, so I suppose that’s why I could still pull them. Or because I’m just fucking awesome, LOL.
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Cheryl {May 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am}
Maybe you weren’t big enough?
well … you can say I have light skin … LOL but my hair is straighter than well, straighter than The Champ.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:39 pm}
“well … you can say I have light skin … LOL but my hair is straighter than well, straighter than The Champ.”
**pissing in cheryl’s free food**
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Cheryl {May 12th, 2008 at 12:47 pm}
*scoffs*
*gives food to sista toldja*
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I agree with this post 100% When I was much younger, I dealt with a guy who was on his way to becoming a DD. He wasn’t full-fledged (though I’m sure he is now) b/c he was still under 25. His justification for running through numerous women was that he used to be a nerd and needed to make up for lost time. Ole boy ultimately joined a frat which only made his DD behavior worse. A lot of DDs are Stephen Q. Urkels trying to live their lives as Stephan Urkelle. It’s sad.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 9:27 am}
LOL…so funny, those are the guys who did really well in school and got no play and now that they have a little swagger they’ve lost their damn minds…lol!
Thank God I don’t live in Atlanta, I think I would just hang myself.
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2Degreez {May 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am}
Some of them even show pictures of what they used to look like to prove how far they’ve come! It’s amazing how a man can lose his mind after he gets contacts and his braces come off.
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 10:22 am}
Ya know, this A-town bashing is gonna have to stop. LOL. Just kidding…
I’d actually say that DC has a leg up. Atlanta has a lot of cats who have money thru business connects, etc. But DC is home to the politically connected jackass.
Politics is power baby. And these cats up here look and act the part 24/7. Hell, I know dudes who won’t go to certain places b/c it doesn’t look swagged out enough for them.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:32 pm}
I will end the ATL bashing and commence with the D.C. bashing…
Yeah, now that place is another breed of double d’s…actually I don’t even feel like going into the pure fuckery I’ve witnessed there.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 10:59 am}
Eww fraternities are diva dude factories! The ones who are fine and have always been pull a Deon and Cher move from Clueless on a neo trying to make them over into their own likeness. They give him a little help with his swag and then their little “project” start acting all kinds of ass clownish! These are the ones that will wear their ‘nalia on campus just about every single day still months after he’s crossed.
Ugh, the Alphas at my school were the main ones guilty of this. Cause everyone knows the west coast’s black fraternity/sorority scene is way impoverished. They will literally take just about any fool, clean him up and add them to the roster. A dangerous, dangerous practice.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:40 pm}
“The ones who are fine and have always been pull a Deon and Cher move from Clueless on a neo trying to make them over into their own likeness.”
can you repeat this in english please? or, at least, non valley vernacular?
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 1:35 pm}
LMAO…OKAY!! And I read it 4 times trying to understand it.
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2Degreez {May 12th, 2008 at 1:57 pm}
I completely understood this. I don’t know if I should feel proud or concerned.
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GOODENess {May 12th, 2008 at 2:40 pm}
me either…damn!
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 2:31 pm}
Oh okay, I just got the reference…she was missing a few important words to make it a complete sentence but she’s referring to Tai being made in their likeness(Deon and Cher that is)…lol.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 3:37 pm}
Apologies…I don’t do much sentence level revision when I write comments on blog sites and what not, so until I can get course credit and a grade for the essays I write on here, you might have to deal with my occasional tendency to write complexly structured compound sentences that are technically a complete thought and thus grammatically correct, but perhaps (and I will admit to this) makes for a syntactically awkward sentence that would probably be better understood by the reader if I did her or him the favor of chopping my sentences down into more readily digestible bits like a mother bird does for her young; however, being that I’m me– the Treezy F. Baby– and all, it probably won’t happen anytime soon
By the way Champ, you just landed the job of editing my dissertation. Let’s put your, smart aleck-ness, erh, keen eye to use! Teacia, you can edit his edits!
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:43 pm}
Glad I’m not you Champ…editing dissertation’s blows more ass than Perez Hilton.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm}
Thanks…lol, ur a mess!
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D*stroy {May 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm}
T.F. Baby, remind me not to question your mastery of the English language. This response was the highlight of my day! lol
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 2:29 pm}
AS IF! Nope you guys will just have to remain completely “Clueless”.
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 2:31 pm}
And context clues are reading fundamentals.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm}
i know, i know, i know…cher is the strange faced protagonist of clueless. i just enjoy being an a-hole at times. it makes the day go faster
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I thought I was the only one who still says “nincompoop.” Unfortunately I’ve met my fair share of their annoying azzes. I think the problem is that humility is very underated nowadays.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:41 pm}
“I thought I was the only one who still says “nincompoop.””
it must be a burgh thing
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I almost want to send this out to some dudes I dated. We don’t call them Diva Dudes. My friends and I call them Ball Strokers. All they do is sit around and talk abouthow great they are and expect women to do the same.
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Deviant {May 12th, 2008 at 11:35 am}
“Ball Strokers”
-LMAO… That sounds like a gay porn title…
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:47 pm}
“Ball Strokers”
-LMAO… That sounds like a gay porn title…
or a bootleg male version of “strokers”
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Suga&Spice {May 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am}
I love it! Cause that fits them to the tee!
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:45 pm}
“My friends and I call them Ball Strokers”
other term nominee for the upcoming glossary.
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Hostess {May 12th, 2008 at 3:02 pm}
I did seriously consider, for all of 2 seconds, sending them the link to this. But uh, that might cause then to think it was safe to contact me. And NOBODY wants that.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 4:00 pm}
there are ways to circumvent that. remember, it’s your duty
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Shelia {May 13th, 2008 at 1:19 am}
My friends and I call them Ball Strokers.
Good post VSB. LOL Hostess. That’s another good name for them.
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This was pretty funny. Ive dated this. I’m friends with this. Thanks for breaking it down
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:48 pm}
anytime, toke. anytime
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I am formally putting in a request for a VSB glossary! LOL
“Tyrone Butler” vs. “T. Jonathan Butler”. Champ, you have the nail on the head with this one…I swear I have dated this dude.
I wouldn’t be surprised if put to a scientific study at least 75% of Morehouse graduates are either DDs, DDs-in-training or reformed DDs…level of significance of p < 0.01..LOL
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 11:16 am}
Man…first cats from/in Atlanta…AND Morehouse cats?
That does it, I’m officially changing my name to:
P. Dontavious Jackson.
By the way Datalore…nice use of a statistical reference, though I’d like to know if your regression analysis used a dummy variable for Morehouse and what your F-tests indicate.
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 11:37 am}
I BEEN told the world, Morehouse is the DEVIL!!!!! Matter fact, it’s printed on the bottom of my buisness cards. I sign it on credit card recipts and checks and birthday cards too.
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GOODENess {May 12th, 2008 at 11:38 am}
every whorehouse…ummm…I mean MOREHOUSE man I’ve met has DEFINITELY been a DD!
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 12:03 pm}
Granted you haven’t met me…but does that mean you’d assume that I was a DD b/c I went to Morehouse?
If so…
Once again: God’s gift. Checkin’ in.
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GOODENess {May 12th, 2008 at 2:42 pm}
no sir…I treat each one as I meet one…but I would keep my third eye on you…lol…
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 12:05 pm}
*cough*hatinass*cough*
If Morehouse is the devil then Howard is Hell since we know that Morehouse men run shit.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:49 pm}
i have to say, this was a great comeback
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Sister Toldja {May 12th, 2008 at 3:26 pm}
You have to say that because he is yo’ friend.
Goodness, I met him and all I gots to say is DD is more synonmous with Panama Jackson Tickle Whatever The Fuck His Name Is This Week than it is with Pamela Anderson! HA!
*That is absolutely a lie, but I just wanted to say that. He was nice, as I recall. But I was drunk, so maybe I didn’t notice him doing something Tigerish, like kicking me in the titty. I also remember we had a moment where I was cutting up and I think he stopped me or helped….or something?
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:46 pm}
Thank you sir. It takes a Morehouse man to put a Howard person in their place. Besides, Morehouse is always running Howard. Hell, a Morehouse man was president of Howard…never has a Howard man run the ‘House.
Oh and thanks Sister Toldja…you’re a real doll too! I don’t kick tits by the way. That’s just bad form.
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GOODENess {May 12th, 2008 at 11:37 am}
I don’t know what I’m more mad at…the fatc that I understood this…or that fact that it put a “tingle in my spine”…lol…SMART IS THE NEW GANGSTA!
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 11:52 am}
I was thinking the same thing…
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Datalore {May 12th, 2008 at 12:00 pm}
Curse you, Panama for making me recall statistics…LOL
The above study used a dummy variable of 0,1. “0” being all black male graduates of a four year institution and “1” being a Morehouse alum.
However, I am aware of the confounding factor of attendance at other HBCUs…
As for the F-test, I believe I may be working with non-normal distributions…
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm}
Yeah…see, I’m over questioning your R-squared b/c I just don’t think Morehouse alum-ness actually increases DD-ness. Not alone.
Mostly cuz I’m a Morehouse dude and I’d never get mistaken for a DD.
A sexxy dude, yes. But a DD? Nope.
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Teacia {May 12th, 2008 at 3:06 pm}
Funty!
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Miss Patterson {May 17th, 2008 at 3:32 pm}
I know I’m probably late on this, but Panama did you go to Morehouse or something? Because if you did you’d understand just why the bash is justified. Fourty-percenters…that’s all I’m gonna say…
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The Queen {May 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm}
Yes, I’ll admit there are a lot of Morehouse DDs running wild and sewing their oats. Those men are a hot azz mess.
HOWEVER, I’ve got to take up for my non-DD Morehouse brothers. There are a good number of Morehouse men that aren’t divas and have no desire to be. Some of the most intelligent, down to earth, amazing black men I know went to Morehouse and there’s no diva in them. If you’ve never met a non-DD Morehouse man, I feel sorry for ya…you’re missing out.
I’d be interested in knowing more about the reformed DD man. I mean what makes a man stop being a DD?
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Datalore {May 12th, 2008 at 12:44 pm}
I do know several non-DD Morehouse men…and they are great overall people.
It’s just that DDs tend to outshine their less flashy brothers. LOL
I have a couple of friends that are reformed DDs. In both cases it took getting their cards pulled repeatedly by women unimpressed by their “credentials” to cure them…
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The Queen {May 12th, 2008 at 1:05 pm}
*scratching head* I just can’t comprehend a reformed DD. It reminds me of when hos from the past become wholesome housewives of the future. Even when you see it, you don’t quite believe it. lol
I can definitely see how an EB can be reformed, but a DD? I shake my head in disbelief. Being that you have friends that are reformed, I guess I’m forced to believe it is possible. I will continue to be mystified as to how it all goes down though.
I wonder if reformed DDs have days where they relapse into old ways? I am strangely fascinated with this subject.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:51 pm}
“Tyrone Butler” vs. “T. Jonathan Butler”. Champ, you have the nail on the head with this one…I swear I have dated this dude.
you know, the initial thing is a potential 2000 word blog by itself. seriously…why the hell do people do this?
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Hostess {May 12th, 2008 at 3:04 pm}
We call that first initial usage ‘parting his name on the left’.
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I can say I have honestly never dated this dude. I like my men with a little less bitch in them.
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Hostess {May 12th, 2008 at 3:07 pm}
The key is, you don’t know about their bitchassedness until you done met all their family and friends. They use fancy outings as subterfuge so that it takes you a month or three–if you’re inexperienced–to recognize that this MF expects you to treat him like his name is Little Jesus, or shall I say L. Baby Jesus.
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I have a question… what would you call a “Diva Dude” that is past 35 (well into their 40’s even), still unmarried, member of a frat, advanced degrees, no children, financially stable, position power, the whole thing? I know a couple of them. I am just curious.
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BigBrwnEyez {May 12th, 2008 at 12:09 pm}
I usually call them “Down Low Brothas”. But I have to confess its because I have some older cousins and friends that fit this profile and they are VERY suspect.
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Ana B {May 12th, 2008 at 12:11 pm}
ok while I can agree with that some of the dudes that I know are not suspect… they are rolling through divcorcee and widows like water through the panama canal
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:56 pm}
“what would you call a “Diva Dude” that is past 35 (well into their 40’s even), still unmarried, member of a frat, advanced degrees, no children, financially stable, position power, the whole thing? I know a couple of them.”
the kwame kilpatricks
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm}
You call him your sponsor.
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So Champ, what’s worse…an EB or a DD?
Could it be the case that they deserve one another and should be forced to marry, living together, forever in misery?
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 12:58 pm}
you know, at gun point i’d say the EB’s are worse, just because the effects of their EB-ness can potentially be more widespread
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The Killa {May 12th, 2008 at 4:44 pm}
Which of the following is correct:
a) EB’s create DD’s?
b) DD’s create EB’s?
c) Neither
d) Both
Explain your answer please?
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 7:11 pm}
neither and both.
i mean, there are myriad contributing factor to each mindstate. yes, both eb’s and dd’s could have had some bad experiences that helped to turn them into who they became, but even then, they may lack a certain force of character that would allow someone else to get through adversity without turning into an asshole.
so…neither and both. does this make sense to anyone else, or does it just make sense in my head?
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Feeling kinda bad for my homie Panama, he’s getting hit from both sides, LOL!
I’m sure if you guys met him, you would know he doesn’t exhibit any DD behavior, and I don’t publicly give that dude props often, so this was tough for me to post (whew) *wiping brow*
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 1:03 pm}
“Feeling kinda bad for my homie Panama, he’s getting hit from both sides, LOL!”
diva, al reynolds and jonathan plummer just called, and said that you should probably only leave comments referring to “getting hit on both sides” on their blogs
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Deviant {May 12th, 2008 at 3:15 pm}
“diva, al reynolds and jonathan plummer just called, and said that you should probably only leave comments referring to “getting hit on both sides” on their blogs”
-hilarity ensues
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Suga&Spice {May 12th, 2008 at 1:55 pm}
lol..As an AUC alum myself, I have to stand up for the Morehouse Dudes. Not all of them were like that at least not the ones I knew. But then again they spent most of their time on our Campus. So maybe they knew something about MM that we didnt.
–Side Bar: Morhouse’s valedictorian this year is a 21 year old white kid. First time the valedictorian is a white boy. He had full rides to several Ivy League schools but picked The House instead. He said he was felt he was able to get knowledge in that enviornment that he wouldnt have gotten anywhere else. He is supposed to be on one of the radio stations tomrrow morning. If anyones cares.–End Side Bar
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Treezy F. Baby {May 12th, 2008 at 2:35 pm}
Aww hells nah he’s doing a reverse version of “The Spook Who Sat By The Door”! They’re infiltrating people…take cover!
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:51 pm}
Thanks Diva - you’re my bestest pal.
And she ain’t lying. Giving me props is like trying to get get Omarosa to pull the quarter stuck up her ass.
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3. They’ve been the “proverbial ugly duckling” until very recently
This is important, because the fact that weren’t getting any rhythm before they became notable creates an inherent bitchassness that permeates everything they do. From what I understand, this seems to be pretty common with black male greeks.
First…wow…this is real talk. I dated one of these DD’s and it was hilarity indeed. I think the inner chuckle started on date two, when getting ready for a black-tie event (DD’s breeding grounds) he looked at me right in the eye with completely sincerity and said, “Look I’m a serious brother and I need know if you’re ready for this…I work at xyz-hbcu and I have a following. I need to know if you can handle this?”
Okay, so you know inside I was trying not to laugh right in his face…I mean really it’s date two, I’m not desperate and to be honest I don’t really know you yet. Sure enough he was greek..or at least trying. Last time I checked you only went grad because you had a life-changing crisis or the chapter was on probation while you were in undergrad…seems he was still trying to catch-up…lol, in every sense of the word. He was a little brother.
Thing is he was a great guy underneath all that exterior DD BS…but he will never show it, because then he would be that real regular guy again…which to be honest is a million times more attractive than DD.
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I can’t help but think these DD’s adopt this attitude because they can. Meaning, they attach such value to frontin because on some level, we give them clues that attitude/money/flossy career ‘make the man’ and can get them far with women.
I guess I’m just a believer that people act the fool when they are allowed to act a fool. Kind of like white kids throwin tantrums in public…they only do it because they know it works. When it ceases to become relevant, they try to get your attention another way.
Or it’s Kanye’s fault.
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panamajackson {May 12th, 2008 at 3:52 pm}
Personally, we at VSB.com like to blame Jim Jones for most f*ckery.
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People take on the persona they need to get what they’ve wanted. Typically though when “regular” guys who haven’t been getting anything take on some other persona, their newfound success is so amazing to them that they get corrupted.
Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I think if a lot of the BS was removed from the dating game in the first place, we’d be well on our way to forestalling the potential development of DDs and EBs.
I think that some of the DD business stems from a desire to punish. To get revenge. Once these guys now have the persona, looks, money, swagger that attracts women to them that did not happen when they were “regular” guys and that they still don’t think will happen if they just “be themselves”, now it’s time to get even with the world for treating them like shit.
Keep in mind it is a human trait to have very good memories or notice negatives, but forget or take for granted positives. We never go thank the AV crew at the end of a show when things went right. However, the moment the mic starts shattering our eardrums, all eyes are over on them, mean-mugging like this is the worst crew ever to work a soundbox.
So these guys, despite likely meeting good people who just weren’t interested, who actually treated them with respect (and vice-versa), now, all they can think about are the EBs and others they ran into. People who shut them down because they rolled in with their friend instead of driving their own Escalade, the ones that wouldn’t give them the time of day one it was revealed he lived in a 2 bdrm apt that he was renting, instead of a 4 bdrm condo downtown that he was mortgaging, or any other string of things that they can use to stereotype any woman who comes up to them.
The problem though is this becomes a self-sustaining cycle. Those women who’ve grown past the BS (or who never were there to begin with) will pick up on this pretty quickly and leave (or worst case, do something to get back at the guy). So, theses DD guys will continue to end up with one of two women, those with low self esteem or EBs. Either way, this further reinforces the DD, EB, and LSE behavior of everyone involved.
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Precious Rubenstein {May 12th, 2008 at 3:29 pm}
“People take on the persona they need to get what they’ve wanted.”
That’s exactly what I was trying to say.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 4:14 pm}
“I think that some of the DD business stems from a desire to punish. To get revenge”
good point. along with the bitchassedness is a certain meanness to their actions which makes things even more reprehensible
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kamakula {May 12th, 2008 at 8:47 pm}
Hmm, I wouldn’t necessarily say it is reprehensible. Instead it makes it harder for me to judge them. Especially given that if my personality was different enough, I could be a DD.
Hmm. . . if I was female, I suppose I could be a DD as well. . .
Though perhaps I’m one of those people who if I got robbed of all the cash in my wallet (likely $10 since I don’t carry much cash for various reasons), I’d probably think, hmm, well he/she probably needed it.
The people truly reprehensible to me are the sociopaths who do things just to do it. No reason why, no “injustice” they’re correcting, just because.
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kamakula {May 12th, 2008 at 8:48 pm}
That’s not to say I wouldn’t be pissed, but I’d understand. . . a little.
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This blogs makes me think DDs are the Gammas from School Daze…
It takes a real man to be a Gamma man,
cause only a Gamma man is a real man.
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My name is the Killa Cal and I am a DD….
there I said it….
where do I sign up for rehab?
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This blog hit close to home. It made me think that I might be a defunct diva dude. Was I that clown who was foolishly running around, gassed-up off of some insignificant accomplishments?
I remember running game on this MILF and saying to her “How old is your son? 27? Here’s my card…tell him to give me a call, I might have a job for him.” I couldn’t have been older than 22. I then laughed with my friends at how I would take the “lil’ fella” under my wing and make him call me Dad. What an @sshole.
See…that’s the problem with us black folks…you give a lil’ n*gga some money and suddenly he starts talking about fathering a grown man who is 5-6 years his senior.
With that said…I know better now.
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 7:12 pm}
“I remember running game on this MILF and saying to her “How old is your son? 27? Here’s my card…tell him to give me a call, I might have a job for him.” I couldn’t have been older than 22. I then laughed with my friends at how I would take the “lil’ fella” under my wing and make him call me Dad. What an @sshole.”
lol…this is classic
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As a fraternity member I think that a lot of people here are using too many generalizations, even though some are really funny. But my question is are DDs any different or worse than any other category of dude? All dudes to me seem to go a little too far some some free panties, for example extremely boho men who tell every black woman that she reminds him of the queen of the mohogany mali dynasty of the planet zulu. Or service men of all kinds who try to use the men in uniform and sob tales about losing good men in iraq, even dope boys and thugs using the lure of the street to entice women of all walks of life to the hood. Foreign men who try to pass off an accent as a synonym for cultured. The list really goes on and on.
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Precious Rubenstein {May 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm}
Mahogany Mali Dynasty of the Planet Zulu….
(dead @ this)
Lol!
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The Champ {May 12th, 2008 at 7:16 pm}
you make a good point. what separates the diva dude from the rest though is the fact that he knowingly takes advantage of the mythical black male drought, and takes pride in doing that. to them, it’s payback for the “ugly duckling” years, the proverbial p-ssy-ass wolves in “good sheep” clothing
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Oh man, I am sooooo glad you wrote this. Those dudes are running wild in Philadelphia! I keep company with a lot of lawyer cats and other young professionals. These guys are so full of themselves on some “God’s gift” bullshit. For the exact reasons you’ve mentioned: they’re educated, have a career, and no kids. SO WHAT?! That’s what you’re supposed to do, Negro! Besides, I could say the same thing about myself.
Diva Dudes suck.
However, some of them sure look fine in their suits while they’re standing around trying to perpetrate. Mmmm. (hey, I can ogle even if I don’t want to hear them talk).
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Welp, I was born and raised in Chicago, and I am nowhere a diva dude, however I know I went to high school with quite a few.
Most still wear fades, which, apparently, is the only cut they teach at McCoy Barber College.
And I won’t comment on the many MySpace sites that promote parties and/or after work sets, run by who? more cats I went to high school with…
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I was married to a DD and am now divorced. I wish I would have had the opportunity to read this article before hand. These fellas are impossible. Our counselor let me know he was a narcissist and advised me to do what I had to do! Do you have any insite on what the mother’s had to do with the DD’s behavior? My ex mother-in-law was a EB in every way.
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I attended a HBCU in Alabama, and I swear we (the University) bred this type of guy!! I always felt like I was the only girl who remembered them from the awkward “before stages” and as soon as they joined a frat, received a car from parents or got that REFUND check the DD behaviors emerge! I swear, I witnessed the personality changes on the behalf of the DD , AND on the behalf of the formerly UNINTERESTED girl. I never understood it…especially the part that some women play in fueling this type of monster. I had a point when I started out but oh well…I’m just glad that I have never dated this type of guy.
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[...] yeah, yeah…writing about diva dudes and cambodian breast milk is all well and good, but when do one of you “smart” brothas [...]
A lot of DD’s are also party promoters too…..good article
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I actually had to stop and applaud this article. The Section about how it’s usually greek males? Right on.
As a member of the black “greek” community, i can not tell you how many times i have seen this phenomenon occur. c’est incroyable!
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