to dream the impossible dream
to fight the unbeatable foe
to bear with unbearable sorrow
to run where the brave dare not goto right the unrightable wrong
to love pure and chaste from afar
to try when your arms are too weary
to reach the unreachable star–don quixote, “the man of la mancha”
although “happiness” and “woman” mix like bathtub water and live toasters, i’ve decided today to dig into my wealthy warchest of wisdom to try and take a stab at exactly what a man can do to keep his chick happy even though its really not anyones job to actually make another human being who’s not their underage offspring happy. enjoy
1. be optimistic…always
“for women, reproduction is, if not the only thing, certainly the main thing. apart from giving them a very different attitude to filth and embarrassment, it also imbues them with the kind of seriousness and solemnity at which men can only goggle. ”
in summary: a man in a relationship needs to be excessively optimistic in order to balance her inherently misanthropic ass out.
for this reason, pessimistic men aren’t able to maintain happy relationships. sh*t, after witnessing what child birth does to a vagina, only a true optimist would stay around and willingly have sex again after that.
2. freely flatter
regardless of how confident and self-aware she might seem to be, most women are completely neurotic when it comes to their looks.
with this in mind, regardless of whether she prefers the sparkling adjective (“you’re beautiful, babe”), the matter-of-fact attentiveness (“did i ever tell you that you have the sexiest legs?”), the descriptive hyperbole (“damn, girl. that dress make yo booty look like a big ass bucket of chicken gravy”), the confusingly backhanded (“wow, honey. dinner was great. if would have been even better if you were prettier“), or the aggressively urgent bluntness (“i need to f*ck you…right now”) they need to be regularly reminded in some way that you still find them physically and sexually attractive.
3. brag.
they’ll never admit it, but every woman, despite whatever rad-fem post-womanist leanings they’ll claim, secretly desires to be a trophy showpiece, a dark-brown skinned blue ribbon their man makes a personal edict to boast, gloat, and brag about like he won the powerball.
4. listen and sh*t
not to every word, of course. duh. i said make her happy…not kill yourself. but, do try to make an effort to pay attention to 35-55 percent of what she says and she’ll be gayer than christmas morning
5. occasionally say no for no apparent reason, and refuse to explain yourself
example:
“honey, when you go to the store, can you pick up some wheat bread?”
“no.”
“huh?”
“nope”
“ummm. ok. do you want some head?”
this throws them through loops, and makes you seem more unpredictable, assertive, demonstrative and mysterious than you really are. chicks love safe loops and sh*t. it reminds them of cedar point
6. protect the paint
every great ball team has had an enforcer, a charles oakley or rick mahorn who had everyone’s back with the implied notion that they wouldn’t hesitate to f*ck you up if you were too rough with his teammates. nothing makes a woman happier than knowing that her paint is protected, and nothing induces unprompted morning bj’s better than a concrete “i got yo back” assurance.
so, vsb…am i right or am i right?
—the champ
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{ 341 comments… read them below or add one }
Really? Is this just for keeping the woman happy in he relationship with YOU? Cus I don’t know that it’s a man’s job to make a woman happy. Happy women are happy. Unhappy women are unhappy. We happy women/They don’t need someone else to make us this way. But the man can make certain areas more comfy…Like a Snuggie…
ohhhhh noooo not the snuggie!!
snuggie=the worst creation ever thought up and manufactured in LIFE
@Gem of the Ocean,
have you tried one on, gemmie? you might sing a different tune! i mean, come on! its a blanket with sleeves!!! i dont see how one could go wrong, really…
@shatani, It’s a backwards bathrobe. Nothing more, nothing less. Why are people paying for these?
@Kindred Smile,
lmao! good point!
@Kindred Smile,
I told my grandparents the exact same thing when they bought two!
@Kindred Smile,
Exactly! One of my sisters was raving about it. All, “Have ya’ll tried the Snuggie! It is the bizness!!” and I was like, “Oh, yeah, that thing that looks like a backwards robe?”. She hesitated, the smile disappeared, then was like, “yeah”. HAHAHA! That hesitation said it all. Snuggie Diss!
@Cheekie,
Snuggie Burn!!!
@Kindred Smile,
Folks are hella gullible. Would buy ANYTHING! Them snuggies look a hot mess
@Kindred Smile,
precisely!!!!!! and they have the nerve to show people OUTDOORS with those darned things on. like really tho?? do better
@Gem of the Ocean, Some local Chicago bars recently had a “Snuggie Pub Crawl”
Sometimes, I’m ashamed of my city
that’s just outta order. SUHCURRITY!!
A snuggie barcrawl? In the city of wind?? I do NOT put on for that foolishness
@Gem of the Ocean, Damn. There’s a lot of Snuggie hate out there. The difference between the Snuggie and a rode is:
1) I would be happy to get one.
2) The neck area. Have you put a robe on backwards lately? You damn near strangle yourself.
Oh and there was or will be a Snuggie bar crawl in the DC area too.
@Gem of the Ocean,
like the shoe hanger, i see ads for these all the time, but i didnt think people actually bought em.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Don’t hate on the Snuggie!! Wooo! It’s my birthday on Tuesday and I have specifically asked for a snuggie AND the magic bullet blender (getcho mind out of the gutter… it’s a blender.
)
@Ms. Sula
Sure it’s a blender.
Palin wink
@Ms. Sula,
you should get the slap chopper and the shamWOW!
@Hostess,
i dont know that he means generally happy as much as he means, “how to keep a woman feeling generally warm and pleasant towards you (the man) so that she’ll make with the morning chex”
but i get your point though…it takes a lot less to make happy people happy, and a lot less to keep them that way. not that its anyone’s job to make anyone else happy…but sometimes people feel the need or desire to take on that task….
@shatani,
“but sometimes people feel the need or desire to take on that task….”
Yeah I was thinking this. Like just because it’s not your job doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I wake up wanting to make my man happy. It makes me happy to make him happy. I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. If I felt any differently we would’ve broke up a long time ago.
@Me fail english?,
It makes me happy to make him happy.
this is sweet and sh*t
@Hostess,
Protector and provider is what a man needs to make sure he does right. Wouldn’t say Snuggie cuz that thing is a fashion atrocity but yeah…you on to something.
@CreoleInDC,
The snuggie gets the Gas face….
Until Drizzy Drake and Gucci Mane rock the D&G print Snuggie on their next video. Every mouth breather on 106 & Park will be rocking them.
@Hostess,
LOL @ happy women are happy and unhappy women are unhappy.
Your happy chick can switch on the eye faucets @ the drop of a hat.
I doubt even Lesbians understand what it’s like to date women.
@WestIndianArchie,
BWUAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA
@Hostess,
“Cus I don’t know that it’s a man’s job to make a woman happy.”
its not. my strikethrough addresses it. still, even though you’re chasing a windmill, it doesnt hurt to try
@The Champ,
Wow it’s a trip you got Quixote in the post today. They were talking about Alzhiemers on Good Morning America today.
@Hostess, Um….yeah….I halfway want to agree but truth be told, I think the boy has a point. And I’m as happy as they come (no pun intended) but nothing makes me happier than a man who can follow those simple rules. Simple.
Good post, The Champ.
@pgh muse,
thank you, the muse
5. occasionally say no for no apparent reason, and refuse to explain yourself
This right here is gospel son.
@Dorian G., I think that would just really frustrate me. Atleast give me a good reason why…
@meleka on the laptop,
Nope and every relationship I’ve started and didn’t do this has failed miserably. I don’t know what it is about y’all but y’all need that douchebaggery from your man.
@Dorian G.,
TRANSLATION:
Guys can’t be too soft. If they come off like a “yes-man”, the girl won’t respect them, and then sh!t goes awry.
It’s actually true…LOL But there is certainly an art to pulling this off…Being an a*hole just for the hell of it won’t fly (unless you’re dealing with a female who accepts anything), but being –or seeming like– a pushover or soft DEFINITELY won’t make your lady respect you.
Basically the whole “nice guys finish last” thing, to a lesser degree.
Don’t be a douche, but don’t be a posse either.
Same goes for the ladies. If we’re constantly bending over backward to please our guys and not creating some occasional boundaries or limitations, they will run all over us.
We have to keep each other on our toes or complacency creeps in.
@Lili, Word. Double snap on that
@TastyKake215,
there will be no double snapping within the confines of vsb.
@Dorian G.,
Douchebaggery is not a relationship criteria. And it can at best be tolerated in tiny pieces. Besides, douchebags are everywhere. The others (you know, the nice ones) are the ones that are rare
@Dorian G., i understand the point you’re trying to make here; but it’s not douchebaggery we want it’s someone who has their own thoughts and opinions on things. not a “yes man”.
@meleka on the laptop,
we want you to be frustrated. It keeps you engaged.
@WestIndianArchie,
Now I can understand that to a degree. This one i’m dealing with right now keeps me frustrated, but it’s a very thin line between keeping me on my toes and pushing me away. “He steps over the line, habitually. He’s a habitual line stepper.”
@Dorian G., Yea I hate being told no, I’m spoiled like that i guess, So when I am told no for no apparent reason, it throws me off and make me more appreciative 4 things he does.
@TastyKake215,
Word. I don’t like pushovers either, but I’d like to think that my man has enough personality and backbone to disagree with me over something he genuinely dislikes, rather than having to make something up.
That random no gets you cussed out or ignored, mostly both.
@Me fail english?,
word. life.
@Me fail english?,
thats kinda overreacting aint it?
@Deviant,
Yeah, I’m kinda extra. But it would definitely start an argument of the “What’s your problem?” variety
@Me fail english?,
I’m with you. Although my reaction would be more like “Oh, for real? You can’t swing by the store? No reason, though, huh? Alright.”
And when he gets home later to find that I haven’t left the house, yet my bread has been provided for me… refuse to explain who, how, or why.
Cuz I don’t NEED you to do isht, homie. Trust.
@Dorian G., 5. occasionally say no for no apparent reason, and refuse to explain yourself
This right here is gospel son.
This shyt right here is bullshyt..my husband does that shyt randomly..I just assumed he likes the vicious a$$ tongue lashing shyt like that gets at the end of a long hard day….
his shyt right here is bullshyt..my husband does that shyt randomly..I just assumed he likes the vicious a$$ tongue lashing shyt like that gets at the end of a long hard day….
@shay_d_lady,
ha ha ha ha ha ha, i like your style, please tell these foolish men! idiocy like this will only get you shouted at….
@superwoman, You know what thats fine…shout. However on the flip side you have to say no sometimes. Im not saying you have to do it in a way that makes you look like a d*ck, but all the same the power of “No” is seriously under rated in terms of maintaining a relationship.
The power of “NO” keeps things even. People get into relationships and expect things (for whatever reason) and in the begining we give it to you (A. because we want to, and B. because it usually leads to something fun. (random s*x, back rubs, some random fantastic h*ad after a bad day at work, ect)
People start to take the things you do to be nice and to be a good signifigant other for granted after you have been doing them for quite some time. Learning to say no and the VERY LEAST will keep the little things you do appreciated because it brings back to the forefront of your mates mind that you in NO way HAVE to do the things you do for them.
@ESQuared,
Okay, maybe I’m misunderstanding. So the random “no” works in the beginning of a rel’ship. I could see why a dude thinks it makes sense to establish a hard line when the girl doesn’t know him well yet. But doesn’t this lose its utility once the girl knows you a while? I’d say you have like a few months window while things are still new to get away with this fuckery before a woman just gets pissed off and stops asking you for shit…and starts asking her “office husband”
@Me fail english?,
Nope, this only further convinces me that women really don’t know themselves all that well. After a few months you just establish in your mind that there’s certain things you ain’t gonna win, and your man ain’t gonna stand for. So instead of just going and doing certain ish, you ask first, cuz you know it could always be no. And when its a yes you get all excited, case in point…
Her: Baby, can we go see that girly movie that I know you’ll hate, please?
Me: You know what, sure
Her: **Extra excited for the two hours I sacrificed**
Compare that to a man who didn’t establish that NO early.
Her: Baby, that girly film I know you hate starts at 8pm. I think we should get there at 7pm just to make sure its not sold out.
Me: ok dear
See the difference?
@Dorian G.,
I get what you’re saying but there’s a reason that men don’t like seeing girly movies. A reason that I can infer upon without asking you. And you’re right I wouldn’t ask you again and if you ever did I would appreciate it extra.
On the other hand, if it was not buying wheat bread when you were already in the store I would just think you were a jerk. And that would be the case no matter how new the relationship was.
@Me fail english?,
“But doesn’t this lose its utility once the girl knows you a while?”
no.
***see how that worked?***
@The Champ,
lol. That didn’t “work”. Yall are destined to wind up with some crazy ass game playing women with all these unnecessary power plays. And men say they don’t love drama? Psht!
@Me fail english?, no its always good it just goes from “no for no reason” to “no for a reason. as some one said down below, no woman wants a man that she can freely punk. If he just rolls over and does whatever you say whenever you say it he will be deemed as a pushover and she will STILL be seeing her “office husband’.
@ESQuared, I understand the power of saying no to some shyt you dont want to do but saying no to some ole bullshyt? like she stated earlier your at the store and I ask you to pick up some wheat bread and you say no? that only adds drama and foolishness to the relationship…and also to me thats game playing and after a certain point the games should stop….
@shay_d_lady,
and after a certain point the games should stop….
My point exactly. These dudes are either not being honest about how succesful these relationships were (the ones where they pulled this random “no” ish) or they have a very different definition for success.
Compromise and meshing two personalities is hard enough without people inventing fights. Keep believing this novelty won’t wear off fellas.
@shay_d_lady, Thats just the point right there. Who said its a game? The Champ did indeed say “no for no reason” and perhaps that would invite a fight. The fight however, has all the potential in the world to make your relationship grow and be better. Suddenly you may find yourself learing about all the little things you do that piss her off and vice-versa. Thus creating a dialogue and making the relationship better for it.
That said… Why are you getting so upset just because he told you no? So the eff what? Most if not all of you on here have jobs cars and all the associated benifits of being dependent. If the wheat bread was THAT important why didnt you get it yourself? If he told you no just go do it yourself. All the arguements today about how childish it is to just say no for no reason are BS. Bottom line, if you feel strongly about it, do it yourself because in the end if its no for the sake of no, no for a good reason, no for a bad reason or otherwise in the end it STILL didnt get done and YOU are the one short. At the end of it all clearly its gonna depend on where your relationship is at because if your gonna have a fight because he told you no for whatever reason (good bad or indifferent) then who is the guilty party?
BOTH of you. Most if not all of you are grown and smart,to carry that kind of vindictive childishness into a relationship is stupid. The logical thing to do is ask Why? not jumping up and down and acting like an ssa because he told you no.
@ESQuared,
It IS a game. Because it doesn’t reflect your honest feelings. I love how the men seem to think that women reacting honestly to yall’s dishonest GAME is somehow childish and being an ass; but the fact that you played the game in the first place is totally mature and forward-thinking.
lol@ “the logical thing to do is ask why”
No. The logical thing for a full grown man to do is be his damn self and be confident that its enough to stop yourself from getting punked by your woman.
And another thing. Stop the BS, pseudo-psych indifference. We’re not trying to win a game here, you’re trying to build a relationship. You know good and well if you’re sick and need medicine and your girlfriend’s chilling in the free meds factory and just tells you “No. I won’t bring any for you when I see you” , you’ll be much less likely to “play ball” in the future. And if you would be just as likely… EXHIBIT A why yall ninjas are so paranoid about getting walked on. (’cause you’re ripe for the walking)
@Me fail english?
How are you going to assume what a persons honest feelings are? or WHO they are for that matter? (clearly if they start acting like an a** for seemingly no reason you didnt know them that well)
As I said before, which perhaps you didnt see but I most certianly wrote. “it just goes from “no for no reason” to “no for a reason.”
Im not advocating for anyone being an a** to their mate. I was simply noting the merits of the “power of no” in maintaining a good relationship.
It seems to me like this is getting a little personal and it need not be. Im newly in a relationship with a fantastic woman. We barely even fight and talk more about politics, life and the black community more than anything else. Do I tell her no? Yeah I do. We knew each other 2 years prior to getting together. Does that mean im gonna magicly stop being who I am? (a walking contradiction of cynicisim, optimisim, and a romantic within the context of logic)and trying to be smart about how I preform within my relationship? NO! She wanted to be with me after meeting me about the third time (her words not mine) so dont get all upset like im out here “running game” or “paranoid about getting walked on” because im not.
It sounds like someone is reliving a batch of bad memories and doing some projecting to me…..
Ah the ad hominem.
I didn’t assume anything. Champ wrote that in his post the “no” was for no reason other than to appear mysterious. Did you miss that part? Yes, you did. Read it again.
Going to “no for a reason” is certainly NOT the topic of discussion here. Maybe you missed all that? It was explicitly written…several times over. Perhaps you should reread the original post and ensuing dialogue. We’re talking about “no” for “no”‘s sake. Or maybe you’re projecting your own methods on to what people responded with.
Further, I was addressing your point that its childish for a woman to put in less effort as a direct result of her man putting in less effort. Are you somehow trying to say that the mature thing to do is keep putting in 100% for a partner who purposely gives you 50% for no other reason than to show you he/she will? Then there’s no incentive to treat you well and you are indeed a push over.
And you still haven’t explained how it makes any sense to set a trap for the woman to start a dialogue that you could have just as easily began.
@Me fail english?
Firstly, im fully aware of what The Champ wrote.
Secondly, im not projecting my methods. When I responded to your question of if the random No uses its utility at some point I said then that it dosent and it goes from No for No reason to No FOR a reason. Thus me not responding to shay_d_lady because shes right just as you are in that not doing a small favor when you have all the means and opportunity to do just because your being obstinate isnt cool.
Thirdly, Im not saying its childish for her to put in less effort because hes acting like a d*ck. What I AM saying is that theirs no need for anyone to get their underwear in a twist just because their signifigant other is acting like that. Ask why and if you don’t get an answer you like or even makes sense, then just let it go and move on.
Lastly, it makes lots of sense. No one is setting a “trap” really but in all honesty it has been my experience that when two people are fighting it may be the only time that you get unfiltered honesty. If you were to ask your mate “what are the things i do that you don’t like” your more likely to get something like “nothing really baby, everything’s good with us. Why do you ask?” So yes, you could have easily started the conversation, but without the other person being completely candid the result won’t be the same.
@shay_d_lady,
.I just assumed he likes the vicious a$$ tongue lashing shyt like that gets at the end of a long hard day…
where exactly does he receive this “vicious tongue lashing”? sounds kinky and sh*t
@The Champ,
Sat down.
@The Champ, where exactly does he receive this “vicious tongue lashing”? sounds kinky and sh*t
LOL I knew after I wrote it yo a$$ was going to go there but I waited to long to edit it!
@Dorian G.,
I would just think you were nuts.
@Nicki Sunshine,
No you won’t, you would just be like “yes, baby”, make a face, then go to the kitchen and have dinner ready when i get back.
@Dorian G.,
No you won’t, you would just be like “yes, baby”, make a face, then go to the kitchen and have dinner ready when i get back
lol, damn.
@Dorian G., Only if you patted me on my butt while saying no to my request.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yes baby…
@Dorian G., that phrase works too.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I’d think a woman was nuts for blowing up cause I said no. Seems real childish to me
@Deviant,
And saying no for no apparent reason is mature?
lol exactly
@Deviant, I didn’t say I’d blow up, I just said I’d think u were nuts.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Pretty much, really.
haha Freely flatter!!! Thank you! Who doesn’t love her good ish about themselves, some guys b like ‘i don’t want u 2 get a big head’ but its not even like that. I like hearing that ur happy about me, it makes me happy knowing that i can b myself.
And telling someone “your hot but you’ll look so much hotter if u lose ur stomach” is not a compliment, its a slap.
@TastyKake215, It’s a slap to make women rethink their hotness. It’s one of the games men play to keep women guessing. Kinda like saying NO for no apparent reason.
@Hostess,
they listen to the ninja Mystery too damn much. he just tryin to catch an idiot for the night, they dont get that his methods might get you stabbed by a woman with actual self respect and confidence…
@shatani,
Who is Mystery? And why does he want men to get slapped?
@Me fail english?,
i think he either wrote or is the subject of a book called The Game…which teaches men how to bag women. mystery has a show on mtv where he does this as well. and one of the main things he suggests is to insult women because that makes them want to impress you (or some such bullshyt) but it has to be a soft insult…nothing that would cut too deep.
the thing is, all he is lookin for is to get laid. he’s trying to get these dudes to a place where their looks dont matter and they can walk into a club and bag some chick for the night. that aint about relationship….
@shatani,
Haha. I wonder how many dudes fall for this and buy the book. I was watching some show about pimps on HBO (I think) and it never ceases to amaze me how many of these dudes think they bag and keep these women based on how tight their game is.
Given that most of these women share some prominent traits (financial dependence or lack of prospects, low self-esteem, histories of sexual violence) has it ever crossed your mind that the choice to “choose” is more related to who she is than what you say and do? I mean if your pimp hand was that strong couldn’t you get a Michelle Obama type in the stable?
“Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey
@Me fail english?,
Um who said Michele Obama types don’t be in the stable?
@Dorian G.,
I don’t believe this for a minute. I’m talking personality-wise. Not just that they’re educated and used to be lawyers. You can’t put a woman this self-possessed in a harem.
@shatani,
And Mistery looks gayer than Christmas morning… (NTTIAWWT)
@Hostess,
This usually only occurs when a man realizes the woman is LEAGUES above him and he’s trying to knock her down to his level. It very rarely works out for either of them once she realizes what he did and he realizes he still ain’t come up.
@TastyKake215,
Let a dude say something like “You’re hot but you’d be better if you were taller”. I will most certainly return the “compliment”. And I have a pretty sharp tongue so it usually winds up badly damaging the rel’ship.
@Me fail english?, HAHA Yes def thought bout that, but he’s foreign n genuinely thought that was a compliment. I just sat there (mind u we were eating at the moment) looking like wtf i suppose 2 do about that?
@TastyKake215,
LOL. I noticed that foreigners have a way of complimenting folks that can be taken as less than polite by American standards. Like the Japanese (I think) lady in Benihana who pulled all her friends over to tell me I had big eyes. They were smiling as they said it but who knows what that really means.
@Me fail english?,
Like the Japanese (I think) lady in Benihana who pulled all her friends over to tell me I had big eyes.
this sounds like a post at fmylife.com
this actually made me think the Benihana Christmas episode of The Office (which comes on tonight–round 2 of Idris “The Yummy Chocolate Statue of a Man” Elba, yay!)
@gemmie,
The Office (which comes on tonight–round 2 of Idris “The Yummy Chocolate Statue of a Man” Elba, yay!)
was i the only one kind of underwhelmed with elba’s character on the show? i know he’s supposed to be the serious straight man, but he was a complete comedic vacuum
@The Champ,
Oh, he was supposed to actually be a character?? With me panting (read: moist) the entire time he was on, I hadn’t noticed.
@The Champ, I was underwhelmed @ Elba, too. Like, he straight p*ssed all over Jim, even though Assistant Regional Manager isn’t a made up position
@nia,
Lol. He should just walk around in a bath towel the rest of his episodes.
i’m with nia—i was too busy being…errr ummm…hot and bothered to really pay much attn to the episode. i did notice that he was not comedic and very Stringer-esque, which in fact made me all the more…um…”flushed”. that man is just OHMAHGOODNESS!!!!!!
@Me fail english?,
Eh…I could do without the bath towel. **fanning**
indeed. yeslawdpleasehabmercy. *smh* mmph mmph mmph.
all this thinking of Idris is strangely making me want a cigarette….
@Gem of the Ocean,
all this thinking of Idris is strangely making me want a cigarette….
Wheew – what a relief! I thought it was just me.
@Me fail english?,
To them it’s a compliment because they want it!
Cultural differences are like jokes, it often gets lost in translation.
I was shocked when I realized that American men actually like developed calve muscles on women… Back home, that’s considered ugmo and full, cabbage patch -like (like my friends call them) calves are what’s up…
p.s: Eye openings is one of the most popular plastic surgery request in the Houston area… because of the big Asian population…
be honest, sometimes the truth hurts, but you gotta keep the real sh#t honest, no one wants to be deceived or felt like they got cheated outta making their own choice b/c you held back the “details”
xtra easy happy= put the toilet seat down, lol.
and if you live together or stay over lots, try to keep your stuff tidy/clean etc…basically don’t be a slop…yuck!
@maria, xtra easy happy= put the toilet seat down, lol
I use to see people in sitcoms argue about this but I have never known this to be an issue in my life? I just put the seat down if its up…now if you wanna talk about cleaning the toilet thats a whole other issue….
@shay_d_lady,
Word!! Like what the hell? If it’s not down, then PUT IT DOWN… How did this become the poster child for domestic strife?
It’s such a non-issue for me.
I dont quite know about all of this list but freely flatter and listen are two good points..and by flatter I mean tell the truth if dinner was delicious whats wrong with saying it? Whats wrong with saying..your hair looks nice? a lot of ninjas forget that type of shyt after being in a relationship so long.it has nothing to do with insecurity but just being appreciated…..
@shay_d_lady,
there’s nothing wrong in saying those things – they’re beautiful to hear and whatnot. however, a good quickie as a thank you would probably make me happier than a generic phrase – actions do speak louder than words.
@puff,
HERE-fcukin-HERE! Spontaneous sex is the greatest thank you know to man and sh*t.
Champ’s list is good, but this addition would make it excellent.
@Resident GRitS,
Seriously, spontaneous sex is one of the best things about a relationship.
Knowing your mate wants to tear you up every chance he/she gets is a great feeling.
@Lili,
i applaud this whole line of thought!
@Resident GRitS,
HERE-fcukin-HERE! Spontaneous sex is the greatest thank you know to man and sh*t.
Champ’s list is good, but this addition would make it excellent
i didnt include anything about sex because i figured that goes without saying
@Resident GRitS, there’s nothing wrong in saying those things – they’re beautiful to hear and whatnot. however, a good quickie as a thank you would probably make me happier than a generic phrase – actions do speak louder than words.
I am going on almost a decade..f!ck spontaneous s.e.x as a thank you..spontaneous s.e.x does not work in place of thank you…not for me any way
I still like to hear it….now mind you if said the right wav verbal appreciation can lead to the physical…i..e. dressed for work walking out the door ..he asks me to come here and holds me tight whispers in my ear..”you look dayum good tonight or you wearin those pants” or something along those lines might lead to giggling and kissing and you know you know…..leads me to hit him with the quickie and we both happy!!! he.ll thats the real secret to a great relationship
@shay_d_lady,
…do what works for u.
me personally, i can only co-sign to number 6 as something that would make a genuine difference in my state of happiness from someone i was in a relationship with. number 5 would just lead to ‘bows being thrown with the quickness – being deliberately obtuse does not equal mysterious/hot. it’s just plain annoying. however, if you can look me straight in the eye and give me a line like, “baby, i’m not gonna go to the store and pick up some 7 grain organic recycled grown on herbal manure wheat bread cos you make the bathroom stank like a mo’f*cker when you eat that ish – and i love you too much to let your sh*t smell THAT bad” – now THAT would make me forget about the damn wheat bread AND get my panties off faster than you can say whole foods (what can i say, honesty is a turn on for me).
however, if you can look me straight in the eye and give me a line like, “baby, i’m not gonna go to the store and pick up some 7 grain organic recycled grown on herbal manure wheat bread cos you make the bathroom stank like a mo’f*cker when you eat that ish – and i love you too much to let your sh*t smell THAT bad” – now THAT would make me forget about the damn wheat bread AND get my panties off faster than you can say whole foods (what can i say, honesty is a turn on for me).
aaaaaand iDied. 1:40am est.
@Gem of the Ocean,
here she lies, no one knew her worth….
@shatani,
LMAO! U stoopid
dang shat, why my worth gotta be unknown/undiscovered?!?!?!
@Gem of the Ocean,
lmao! sorry, Gemima! i was humming la vie bohem from Rent when i wrote that….
@puff,
“being deliberately obtuse does not equal mysterious/hot. it’s just plain annoying”
LMAO @ this whole post.
But maybe one of the fellas can explain why yall dont seem to grasp the vast differences between when we’re thrown for a loop, finding you cute and mysterious and when we’re just effing annoyed with you? Also, for dudes who’ve tried the random “no” in relationships you never had chicks tell you a random “no” in retaliation? I’d be throwing out random “no’s” like haymakers out this bitch.
Can I cook tonight? No
Do the laundry? No
Give you head? No
Change the channel so you can watch the game? No
And the beat goes on…
@Me fail english?,
Also, for dudes who’ve tried the random “no” in relationships you never had chicks tell you a random “no” in retaliation?
Not in retaliation, but the same standard rules apply. For the most part, you can’t just switch up styles in the middle of a relationship like its a boxing match. For this to happen you need a cataclysmic type event (ie. someone caught cheating, a breakup, a life threatening illness…etc). Outside of that a switch of styles almost always results in a permanent breakup. So its easier to relax your no’s, than it is to tighten your yes’s. So if you came into the relationship cooking, sucking, and (d)ucking, you can’t just expect to change that up all crazy and not expect recessions lol.
@Dorian G.,
“Outside of that a switch of styles almost always results in a permanent breakup.”
That doesn’t mean it won’t happen. People sabotage their relationships all the time. Which is pretty much what this “denying people what they want, just for denial’s sake” sounds like.
@Me fail english?,
Nope the key is you gotta come in like that and keep it going thru the whole relationship. If y’all married, you gotta keep it going for life. Its like a FICO score, one slip up and your done! Hear me done!!!
@Dorian G.,
“Keep it going” as opposed to being yourself? Sounds like too much work if the aim is just being happy. Do you really not have enough stuff to genuinely disagree with her about that you have to invent things??
I’d bet money that this strategy doesn’t actually work long-term. At some point this woman knows you and will be able to tell when you’re playing a game. Just because she doesn’t call you on it doesn’t mean the master plan is working.
@Me fail english?,
But maybe one of the fellas can explain why yall dont seem to grasp the vast differences between when we’re thrown for a loop, finding you cute and mysterious and when we’re just effing annoyed with you?
the floor is yours and sh*t. what constitutes the difference?
@The Champ,
That’s not rhetorical. It was an actual question.
Why can’t you tell the difference between when you piss a woman off and when you intrigue her? The difference being, in one instance she’s intrigued, in another she’s annoyed.
@Me fail english?,
Why can’t you tell the difference between when you piss a woman off and when you intrigue her?
lol, because, with many of you all, its the exact same reaction/face. there’s no immediately discernible difference between annoyed and aroused.
@The Champ,
Ahh, the faces. I’ll admit that if a man impresses me, but does it in a way contrary to what I wanted/expected I’ll make a stank face. Still not sure why…
@The Champ,
It’s all in the eyes, hon. Pay attention.
Nos. 4 and 5 are two of the most salient arguments you could ever make in concerns with trying to keep a woman happy.
If you actually listen to a woman, and go back and bring up a point she made earlier, you’ll really appease her.
Now, No. 5 is trickier. But saying no is an art a man must master. I’m not sure randomly saying no is all that smart. For example: randomly saying no to sex just before your girl starts PMSing (when she’s horniest) … you’re just asking for serious trouble once the cramps kick in.
But you do need to master the art of the word no. Like, “no, I’m not watching that damn Golden Girls re-run with you.” …
@thismayconcernyou,
LMAO and c/s this whole post.
“If you actually listen to a woman, and go back and bring up a point she made earlier, you’ll really appease her.”
Wise words being spoken.
“randomly saying no to sex just before your girl starts PMSing (when she’s horniest) … you’re just asking for serious trouble once the cramps kick in.”
I wish a dude would…
@Me fail english?,
*patting self on back*
Thanks for the co-sign. No man should turn down sex from HIS woman when she’s horny. That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
@thismayconcernyou, I agree. That’s how people get shanked.
@Kindred Smile,
I’m all about avoiding the shank from a female. That’s not how I plan on leaving this life. lol.
@thismayconcernyou,
So the rules should then apply evenly across the board, right? No woman should turn down sex from HER man when he’s horny?
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
Once you put that ring on that finger … all bets should be off and all cookie (think: Steve Harvey) should be on. lol. Good reply.
thinking: “So I went hard like Medusa staring at me.” ~ Andre 3k
@thismayconcernyou,
see, now you have a handle on things! lmao…im okay with, “no. romantic comedies make my sperm spontaneously combust, so im not gonna go.” that makes sense to me. but just saying no about dumb shyt makes me wanna get vindictive…then all kinds of things my man likes will be getting some “no”
and the listening thing works on everyone…i have an excellent memory, and i cant tell ya how good people feel (men AND women) when i remember something theyve said in passing, or they start a story with “remember that girl with the…” and im like, “word, i remember her” and they dont have to go back over it. everyone loves the idea that they are important enough for you to both listen to and remember the stuff they say…everyone.
@shatani,
“and the listening thing works on everyone…everyone loves the idea that they are important enough for you to both listen to and remember ”
yes, ma’am. This is like lessons #1-10 in sales and negotiations. Learn a person’s name or something personal/obscure about them. Refer to is semi-frequently to establish a familiarity.
It’s why salesman do their best to call you Charles instead of a more impersonal “sir”.
@Me fail english?,
@shatani,
*slow clap*
*slow clap speeds up*
Like I said, I think those are the two most salient points made by The Champ on this issue.
@thismayconcernyou,
There is NARY a thang wrong w/ watching Golden Girls. Picture it, my couch, 2009…
LOL but umm women gotta know that we cant b asking our guys to watch chick flicks without expecting a good amount of Nos. Besides, if he’s excited to watch EVERY chick flick with me, I may side-eye him just a bit.
@Luvvie,
Golden Girls is just an example. I watched it faithfully in the 90s. But now watching 60somethings white women bicker constantly doesn’t appeal to me. … but take your pick, SITC, Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, ANTM, etc.
Men, Just Say No (at some point)
@Luvvie,
girl, i dont think you understand how effing loud i just laughed at “picture it, my couch, 2009…”
see, this is why nobody likes you! lmao!!
@thismayconcernyou,
For example: randomly saying no to sex just before your girl starts PMSing (when she’s horniest) … you’re just asking for serious trouble once the cramps kick in.
actually, i cant explain how, but a bit of nuance could make this the best possible time to say no
@The Champ,
lol. You’d miss out on some of the best Chex of your life! Women with PMS> Pinky (circa ’05)
I like the sentiment that you guys establish your boundaries early, but your methods?? Good lord man, reconsider!
@Me fail english?,
lol. You’d miss out on some of the best Chex of your life! Women with PMS> Pinky (circa ‘05)
i understand this, but if this is your girlfriend, then hopefully you’ll still be together at the same time next month, when she’s just as horny. i’m not saying that its a great idea to turn down sex just for the sake of turning it down, but its not the worst thing in the world to say no if you’re not particularly up to it (pun intended)
@The Champ,
“…if you’re not particularly up to it”
Ah, now that is a good reason to do it. Cause you don’t feel like it. I thought you were still playin the “mysterious” angle, lol
@The Champ,
I agree with you. You just might have a hellish few days ahead when your girl starts cramping.
@thismayconcernyou,
and just cuz she’s horny doesnt mean she lost her memory! she knows what you did last month…lol
@thismayconcernyou,
I’m not sure randomly saying no is all that smart.
And that’s the word, fellas.
The No should have a good basis… a random no is like kindergarten all over again… who wants to go there? They eat dirt and boogies. *rolleyes*
@Ms. Sula/Ms. EyeRoller,
Agreed. But being able to say No and not be a Yes Man is beyond extremely important. Admit that, please.
@thismayconcernyou,
yes. freely admitted. backbone = good shyt. boundaries are awesome.
this list would be mostly accurate (1-4,6) for me if it were titled “things to make Gem smile and want to keep her man around”. or maybe even “things that won’t lead Gem to be cross or disgruntled about her relationship”. aside from my nephews, my brother (when quoting lines from “Brown Sugar”), B.Scott videos, and my phd thesis committee, my happiness is not tuned/controlled/adjusted but others– but mainly determined by MOI and whether or not i decide to be happy. it’s really a choice. you either choose to be happy or not. it’s a state of mind/being. if i need to be MADE happy by some external being, i need to have a little talk with BBJ and have him step in and TAKE THE WHEEL JEEZUS.
and the saying “no” for no apparent reasonis just silly and will just go ignored. i have no time for games unless it’s taboo, scatergories, nfl season or celtics bball. there are more constructive and creative ways to be unpredictable, assertive, demonstrative and mysterious. especially if you accessorize using “baaaaaangles, always the baaaangles.”
that’s all for now. double kisses *muah muah*
@Gem of the Ocean,
love. b. scott. *doing the paw paw to the Jizz In My Pants song*
@shatani,
that song is awesome. Its not as good as “I’m on a Boat” tho.
@Deviant,
you know, i was watching both of those and i love them both, no doubt. but jizz in my pants just makes me happy (i know im gonna regret that last sentence!)…i love those stupid euro-esque accents theyre using and the line when dude is like, please stop acting like youre not impressed just has me dyin EVERY time!
@shatani,
i’d ask you to expound, but i fear i wouldnt be able to sleep tonight
yes!!! you already know!!! i actually prefer to do my “paw paw” to “B**** Hold My Ponytail”
@Gem of the Ocean,
B. Scott is hilarious. I love him.
@Gem of the Ocean,
there are more constructive and creative ways to be unpredictable, assertive, demonstrative and mysterious.
Please go up to the mountain top and preach it sister!
I’m not claiming to be an expert on this subject but being direct and straight to the point has to come in here somewhere. (Maybe it falls under “not being a pushover.”)
1.) Listen first.
2.) Choose your words with thought and purpose so there’s no ambiguity.
3.) Say what you mean.
4.) Mean what you say.
Most importantly…
Be resolute. Stand by what you’ve said.
You may not be saying what she wants to hear but she’ll respect you. This goes a long way…
@ThePhiladalphiaNegro,
Now this is a good list.
::applause::
@ThePhiladalphiaNegro,
Very good list. I’d file this more under what women need than what keeps us happy with a dude.
@Me fail english?,
indeed.
@Me fail english?,
Double agreed with you and with ThePhiladelphiaNegro on this. I don’t always need you agreeing with me cuz then I start to think you’re a punk but if you can tell me what I need to hear without being stank about it, then you’ll have my gratitude and respect (as well as some banging chex afterwards)
@ThePhiladalphiaNegro,
i agree mostly….i would say, be resolute but dont be overly rigid. its okay to admit that you were wrong and its okay to change your mind…
@shatani,
It is okay to change your mind and/or admit you’re wrong.
But….
It’s not cool to be a constant apologist or to just agree w/her just to get her off your back. Especially in the long run.
Real talk…a lot of these dudes out here have no backbone. When they get to talking that “do you want to be right or be happy” crap I just shake my head….
@ThePhiladelphiaNegro,
Real talk…a lot of these dudes out here have no backbone. When they get to talking that “do you want to be right or be happy” crap I just shake my head….
Good point. Dr. Phil calls them right-fighters. I shake off a lot of stuff when I think I’m right cuz its not worth an argument. But I’m only comfortable doing that cause I know my bf is just as willing to do it for me.
That’s the problem with keeping score. People always forget how much they’ve gotten away with.
@ThePhiladalphiaNegro,
Yup. Maturity is so easy to spot.
“so, vsb…am i right or am i right?”
no.
@Miss Patterson,
This is why I heart you, Patticakes.
@Miss Patterson,
no deez
you rock Saks 5th!!
@Miss Patterson,
Ha ha. How mysterious and unpredictable. I think I have a girl crush
**disclaimer, off topic**
dear champ, i am drinking vitamin water as i type. coke has apparently introduced it to the country, and are dropping it off at various spots for people to try….so i’m trying it.
it’s ok – a bit flat. tastes like diluted orange squash. i am waiting for the vitamin rush…
how goes it with the sponsorship bid?
@superwoman, What’s orange squash?
@Kindred Smile, ha ha ha – oh, i think it’s whats referred to as orange concentrate in the U.S. – it comes in a bottle, flavoured orange and you dilute it with water….
my preferred brand is Oros… in Zimbabwe, Mazoe rocks….
@superwoman,
it’s ok – a bit flat. tastes like diluted orange squash. i am waiting for the vitamin rush…
try the xxx. it tastes like a mixture of black cherry kool-aid, orgasm, and heaven. sometimes, i even bathe in it.
as you can see, i’m still working on that endorsement.
@The Champ,
I like the XXX flavor, too…I wouldn’t go as far as you did in your description, but it’s dayum good.
try the xxx. it tastes like a mixture of black cherry kool-aid, orgasm, and heaven. sometimes, i even bathe in it.
@The Champ, crikey!!! they REALLY need to get you on board….maybe they can build you a pool filled with the stuff as part of the endorsement dealio…
@The Champ,
Maybe you should try a diff’rent tactic or sumfin!
Like make fun of Rick Rosss or some other foolishness!
So the good guy will ultimately end up last. But, the reasonably good guy with a bad streak will do just fine. That’s hilarious.
So does anyone have a ratio on the amount of good:bad.
@Double J,
LOL That’s how it seems. That’s what several guys have told me.
But like I said earlier, it’s that way for females as well. If anyone comes off too easy, or comes off as a bit of a pushover someone is more likely to think they can take advantage of you, or just respect you less because you seem a bit soft.
Then again a lot of us are warped and don’t always accept the best ppl in our lives to begin with.
Eh, whatcha gonna do?
@Lili,
The cycle continues it would seem. Inevitably one of the two will reach the breaking point and become “that guy/girl”. Then its all down hill from there.
*that guy/girl = the completely bad guy who doesn’t care / the girl who uses and dismisses guys cause they were hurt or unappreciated
@Double J,
Or, we can simply learn from our experiences and not judge each person based on the last person we dated.*
I’m not saying a guy/gal MUST be a certain percentage of jerk; we should just maintain some of the backbone we had in the beginning of the courtship.
I know I’ve made that mistake before; I’ve become the overly accommodating and understanding gf and completely shifted the dynamic of a relationship. Had I maintained a little bit of the feistiness I had in the beginning I would not have excused some things and would have been quicker to correct others.
You have to be open, but you just can’t let love and feelings make you too soft…Unless you stumble upon your soul mate and have found your partner for life. In that case let the gushiness flow
*And you have to be perceptive- if you’re dating a bad guy- YOU KNOW. If you’re dating a girl who doesn’t reeeeally care- YOU KNOW.
@Lili, I think every man likes his woman to be a little bit of a b***h to them. I honestly believe that, because when you’re nice and caring and all that jazz, they take you for a push over and just do things cause they think they can, but if you’re a little b***hy with them they adore you.
Proof, my bestie is married to this dude, my bestie can be the biggest B***H on the face of this planet, if I were her husband I’d have kicked her arse to the curb LONG TIME, but he loves it.. I think it turns him on!
And as with most guys and girls, when a person is mean to you for no reason I think it makes them think that they are just playing hard to get and that its actually a tactic used to not seem soft.. No its that this person is an a-hole and just does this cause they can.
@Liryc,
I agree with this and never could understand why this was true.
I always start off when I meet a guy trying to be agreeable, lady-like, patient, etc. But dudes don’t really go hard at me until I start being rude/cold. It kinda pisses me off cause I’d much rather be soft and happy. I really don’t like to argue.
@Lili,
Then again a lot of us are warped and don’t always accept the best ppl in our lives to begin with.
potential vsb topic
@Double J,
“So the good guy will ultimately end up last. But, the reasonably good guy with a bad streak will do just fine. That’s hilarious.”
i have serious issues with the notion that good guy = man with no backbone. good guys can say no (randomly, if they want but i would advise against that), good guys can have opinions of their own, good guys can set and maintain boundaries in relationships.
the guys who are sycophantic yes-men, who go out of their way to do stuff for women who neither ask for it nor appreciate it, oftentimes to their own detriment are NOT what i would term a “good guy”
@shatani,
PREACH! It’s so annoying to hear these self-described good guys feeling sorry for themselves cause these evil women have the nerve to like men with personalities. I think people are instinctively turned off by spineless friends because they subconsciously know that in order for you to let people take advantage of you, you must have some deep-seeded emotional issues. Nobody wants to deal with those issues.
@shatani,
Never said the good guy wouldn’t have a backbone. I am living proof of that.
Stand up for what you want and if you don’t care ride it and see where it takes you. You might find something new about yourself.
@Double J,
“Stand up for what you want and if you don’t care ride it and see where it takes you. You might find something new about yourself.”
Excellent advice. Sounds like you date actual women.
@shatani,
the guys who are sycophantic yes-men, who go out of their way to do stuff for women who neither ask for it nor appreciate it, oftentimes to their own detriment are NOT what i would term a “good guy”
Amen. I should have read the comments before replying below.
@Double J,
So good guy = guy with no mind of his own?
That would not be my definition actually.
Also I don’t think that any guy could pull off the list. I was just talking to one of my homeboys the other day about the abilities of every negro. There are things that I can pull off that you can’t. So basically “you do you cause imma do me”. Nobody can tell you how to do you and you should already know what works for you so play your strengths. If you run the point do so.
@Double J,
Also I don’t think that any guy could pull off the list
never say never and sh*t.
***sidenote: since never was never actually said, just implied, does a never say never reply apply and fit?***
@The Champ,
I never say never . Just saying everyone ha there own skill set they are born with that makes certain things they do easier/harder for them.
It seems as if the ladies have voted down your list but from my experience you are right one point. Especially, the points about protecting the paint and random no’s. “Independent” women don’t want to admit it but they really do appreciate a strong man who they can’t punk. The one thing you left off the list was laying it down in the bedroom. You can get away with mad shit if your d game is tight.
@Krush,
i freely admit that i want a strong man that i cant punk.
cordially,
independent shatani
@shatani,
who you telling girl?
Of course I wanna be able to talk ish, but I don’t want to be able to run over you. I want you to put me in my place, if I get outta pocket.
@Krush,
“The one thing you left off the list was laying it down in the bedroom. You can get away with mad shit if your d game is tight.”
I’m assuming this is not a myth because I’ve met women who agree with this. I just never understood why. I mean, I’m half the reason this chex is so good. No man is an island. I can go out and train another student and take explicit delight in doing so.
I mean, I’m half the reason this chex is so good. No man is an island. I can go out and train another student and take explicit delight in doing so.
*clapping* this comment is indeed worthy of a”get it squirrel! go ‘head then! if ya wanna!” award (c) B.Scott
@Me fail english?,
I mean, I’m half the reason this chex is so good. No man is an island.
i agree, but i don’t know if all of your fellow vss’s agree with that sentiment.
@The Champ,
Ok, “An Island” clearly won’t appreciate the Donne reference. But what else? Do VSSs not realize the synergy involved in good chex and therefore hang on to exceptional D past its expiration date?
By the way, my female friends rarely admit this when its actually happening. You kind’ve just have to draw your own conclusions
@Me fail english?,
Johnny never met me. I respect old school cats, but his theory’s outdated.
@Krush,
“You can get away with mad shit if your d game is tight.”
Yeeeeea……..I can admit that. If I’m hopped up on a steady flow of vitamin D it will be hard for me to find a reason to complain (unless you do something really off the wall).
But if your lady is putting it down consistently, doesn’t the same work for y’all?
@Lili,
But if your lady is putting it down consistently, doesn’t the same work for y’all?
No.
@Dorian G.,
Funny, I’ve heard the exact opposite is true. Many times.
@Dom,
No
@Krush,
“It seems as if the ladies have voted down your list but from my experience you are right on point”
sometimes it takes a whole day to recognize sunshine.
and, again, i didnt include any good d discussion because that goes without saying
@Krush,
Of course we want a man who has a mind of his own… The keyword here is “mind”…. Random “Nos” don’t seem to be coming from there is all.
I don’t mind my man saying no to some nonsensical thing I ask him to do… but I do mind him not having a better reason to say “no” than because The Champ said so…. Actually I don’t think I would date that man, so the whole point is actually moot.
Carry on.
Simple – Be A Man.
@Monk,
Or better yet: Be your dang self!
I agree with the list, but does this mean that men don’t like their ego stroked just as much as a woman does???
Keep me happy by being honest- even when you have to use your kindergarten voice to avoid hurting my feelings.
Do stuff without me asking, like cleaning up or washing the dishes after I cook. Or how about you cook?
@Nicki Sunshine,
“Or how about you cook?”
Girl, you gotta know what man you’re dealing with ‘fore you have them cooking all willy nilly.
They don’t respect non-stick; got all metal utensils in the damn pan. They’ll soak your good knives in water. They don’t know how to clean a cutting board. Most men are a DISASTER in the kitchen, including my Dad!
I let my roommate’s bf cook her a romantic dinner using my stuff, came out saw my tools being manhandled and almost blew a gasket. I felt like Sebastian in The Little Mermaid when he saw all his friends in the kitchen being battered and fried.
@Me fail english?, LMAO, I must agree.. some guys just don’t need to be in the kitchen.
As for cleaning some can barely clean themselves let alone a part of the house, I remember an ex of mine trying to clean the bathroom, I got so aggravated that I did that shyt myself! Then he was afraid to clean inside the toilet bowl.. Be careful who you let use your utensils, cause I’d be upset if homey came in and busted and messed up my mikasa stuff.. HELLA MAD!!
@Liryc,
you know…that may have been his plan. smart men know that (most) women have control issues and will fvck up a job so that they dont ever get asked to do it again….
he might have run some game on you…
@shatani, he might’ve and that is the reason why he’s an ex..cause I just couldn’t stand the nastiness.. I just can’t see it.. Is it so hard to just put things back where you got them from? Or to scrub the tub when you’re done.. NOPE, simple things. but for some men its like rocket science!
@Liryc,
and for some women too!
*looks in mirror*
@Liryc,
I just couldn’t stand the nastiness
this is exactly why luvvie and i no longer “talk”
@Champ,
I hate that I heart you LOL. BTW, Champ is doing what I (and Psychology) call “projecting”
Oh, and TALK DEEZ
@Liryc,
Girl he RUINED my favorite non-stick pan. He was CUTTING shrimp with my knife while it was in the effing pan. And this punk claimed to be a culinary student. Oh, the things I wanted to do with my pan to his face….
And cleaning, most people don’t know how to clean. Had no idea til I got roomates. One chick was mopping the floor without sweeping it first! Another chick used to never scrub the tub when it was her turn to do the bathroom. Da hell? My bf is pretty tidy and neat but he doesn’t believe in arranging things nicely after he dusts the shelf. Oh well, at least he’s clean
@Me fail english?, he can’t be perfect. At least he’s tidy and clean, cause you have the slobs who just throw their stuff around and just leave them there, or the ones that don’t flush after they pee or the ones who are just plain old NASTY!!
I would’ve oops upside homey head, he was no culinary NOTHING.. Thats one thing you don’t mess with… my pans and stuff are mine, and if you mess them up you BUY them..
@Liryc
“ones that don’t flush after they pee”
Maybe he’s trying to conserve water??
@V Renee,
Why must you kill me?
@Me fail english?, Ew. Mopping dirt?
@Nicki Sunshine,
Yes, mud everywhere. And when I explained what was wrong with that (in my uniquely animated way, natch) she started crying. I promise I have no idea what caused the tears. I didn’t yell or curse of anything.
@Me fail english?, ” felt like Sebastian in The Little Mermaid when he saw all his friends in the kitchen being battered and fried.”
LMAO.. but u do have a point. I would knife a man up for messing up my non sticks!!!!
@Me fail english?,
Girl!!! Did you film my house or what? My kitchen appliances are too precious for me to let anybody play with them.
Only true foodies/cuisine connaisseurs are allowed near my kitchen.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I agree with the list, but does this mean that men don’t like their ego stroked just as much as a woman does???
lol, i didnt say that. this is just a list about keeping women happy…not men.
@The Champ, it doesn’t take all of that to keep a woman happy, you make women sound like they’re some kind of physics equation or some kind of code that you have to break, we’re easy, not as simple as you men are but we’re not that hard to understand either!
@Liryc, Preach. Men make me nuts, Champ.
4. listen and sh*t
This the only rule you needed on your list.
*sniggling*
@miss t-lee,
huh?
@The Champ,
I’m just saying, this was the only rule you needed to list…the rest was just…filler…lol
@miss t-lee,
i had to fill my quota. its a recession and sh*t
@The Champ,
I understand.
*chuckles*
@miss t-lee,
*nods*
yep yep
but listen ain’t equal to do
“am i right or am i right?”
are those our only options?? champ, you are clearly insane! this whole scene right here?
“5. occasionally say no for no apparent reason, and refuse to explain yourself
example:
“honey, when you go to the store, can you pick up some wheat bread?”
“no.”
“huh?”
“nope”
“ummm. ok. do you want some head?”
this throws them through loops, and makes you seem more unpredictable, assertive, demonstrative and mysterious than you really are. chicks love safe loops and sh*t. it reminds them of cedar point”
GOLD!! i was chokin on my own glee at that one, and shout out to cedar point! (my friend worked there)
anywho…
protect the paint, freely flatter, listen and sh!t, brag….those all work for me and usually result in spontaneous BJs and unprompted home-cooked goodness.
i am, however, getting sooooo sick of hearing about how women arent funny! i mean, i literally had this conversation two days ago with my buddy who described a girl he liked as “funny…but not chick funny, she was funny like a guy is funny…like youre (me) funny…know what i mean?” hell no, i dont know the fvck what you mean?!?! i couldnt do a thing but laugh at his foolishness. and then yesterday, a male co-worker says to me and my blonde white twin (seriously, its like we’re the same person!) that we’re like guys with our humor…
this is ridiculous. the end.
@shatani, what the heck does that mean?? I’m so confused by that statement.. what is male funny? lewd and crude jokes or just scratch yourself funny?? IDK?? explain
@Liryc,
well, my buddy said its dry sarcastic witty and so forth…whereas his image of girl funny is more being loud and silly and crazy. my co-worker yesterday put it simply…”there’s not too many women you can just sit around and talk about balls with”
i would beg to differ on both those accounts…but im being told that i and those like me (the few, the proud) are anomalies…
@shatani,
GOLD!! i was chokin on my own glee at that one
this sounds dangerous. do you have acid reflux or something?
champ, I like some of the things that you wrote, but I don’t think this goes for all women, some not all.. especially the compliment part.. I have a homey that told me these words and I stick by them whole heartedly.. I want to be with someone who complements me and doesn’t only compliment me! You feel me? Not to say ” hey babes you look nice” every once in a while is not good to hear, but thinking that its a way to keep me happy isn’t true, and if that’s the tactic you think works well.. think again gilligan!
And for that saying no for no apparent reason, that’s a whole load of bullshyt! Don’t tell me no, for no reason, cause what happens post you saying NO is of your own accord, and you best to man up to it and just take it LIKE a man!! Cause you were man enough to just tell me NO for NO reason!!
@Liryc,
lmao @ think again gilligan! i feel like i wanna try to incorporate that into my everyday vernacular!
@shatani
Me too.
I like being told no sometimes. My boyfriend does it to me. I usually just laugh and let it go. Probably because I know some of my requests are ridiculous.
I need to be told no sometimes. I recognize that.
@V Renee,
I need to be told no sometimes. I recognize that.
smart girl. are you sure you’re from cincy?
@The Champ,
Oh, you on that??? Don’t make me e-stab you.
@V Renee,
oh, i most certainly need to be told no at times! i often make ridiculous requests to see what happens. but those arent “no, for no reason” theres very good reason!
@Liryc,
I want to be with someone who complements me and doesn’t only compliment me!
expound and sh*t
@The Champ,
Someone compatible.
Someone she truly “clicks” and connects with.
Essentially, the yin to her yang.
Great start to a great post. I’d almost think the Champ grew up in a house of women. Most of this was on point but you forgot 3 things.
1. (Only applies if she cooks or attempts to) Compliment her cooking.
2. Let her cats sleep in your lap… LOL!
The real number 2: Respect friend boundaries
3: Make her breakfast sometimes or every Saturday. Toast and cereal do not count!
unless he can’t cook. then toast and cereal are FINE. Please don’t burn down my kitchen or destroy my Calphalon.
Thank you.
indeed!!
@Ivy St.,
I’d almost think the Champ grew up in a house of women.
***sending ivy the daily vsb “backhanded compliment of the day” award***
I hate you for being so damn right! All we really want is someone to tell us it’s going to be okay, have our back, make us feel pretty, and listen to how our day was. If you throw in some good food and sex, you have effectively described a perfect relationship in my book.
The only thing I would have to quibble with would be #5. Women go on and on about communication, but what we really mean is we want you to hear what we’re saying and just do it dammit!
@Dom,
I hate you for being so damn right!
join the club and take a number
Sometimes I get the feeling you guys don’t like women all that much.
@CreoleInDC,
i think i see where youre going…please expound!
@CreoleInDC,
I think you are too sensative w/ it. This is guy nonjudgmental fun times. Did you see the movie Gran Torino?
@WuDaMan,
I don’t use movies to reference life all willy nilly nor do I give much credence to grown men over 30 who want me to believe they know women so well that it’s prolly the reason they aren’t married. You know…cuz women suck and they can’t find one who will put up with all their bullish.
If a man is easy on the eyes, in shape, taking care of himself, is a good provider, protector and respectful of women…it shows in his options.
Women are not as complicated as some men seem to want to make us out to be…it’s just complicated to you because you can’t get the one you THINK you deserve to have. Once you figure out your place in the chain of events and are realistic…it will get MUCH easier. I promise.
Just walk into the light. (Oops…that might be from a movie huh?)
@CreoleInDC,
“Women are not as complicated as some men seem to want to make us out to be…it’s just complicated to you because you can’t get the one you THINK you deserve to have. ”
True dat. Plus people (men included and probably moreso) tend to take everything they’ve learned about every woman they’ve ever met and conflate it into some monolithic, aggregate image of “WOMAN”. They then attribute these traits to any woman they subsequently meet, one size fits all style…even when the woman tells them in English “Uhh, that’s not really me.”
“Sho’ it is gal. U aint gotta lie!”
There’s certain stuff this is pretty common across the board with women but if a woman is telling you she’s the exception, just take her word for it until you can safely conclude she’s full of it.
@Me fail english?,
I like you more and more each time I read something you write. Seriously…you’re the bomb diggedy. (Do you think I can bring that back? Prolly not huh?)
@CreoleInDC,
Aww thanks. And in your quest to bring the phrase back I will find a way to incorporate this into my convos daily along with such popular phrases as:
“In TET…”
“We in a recession”
“I’m bad!”
and
“Lemonade was a popular drink, and it still is.”
@Me fail english?,
Plus people (men included and probably moreso) tend to take everything they’ve learned about every woman they’ve ever met and conflate it into some monolithic, aggregate image of “WOMAN”. They then attribute these traits to any woman they subsequently meet, one size fits all style
i have been sooooooo eye-to-eye with you lately. you get the other “get it squirrel! go head then! if ya wanna!” kudos
@Gem of the Ocean,
I’m gonna have to ask you to refrain from throwing around phrases from my gay BFF all willy nilly.
I can’t be choking on my broccoli.
@CreoleInDC,
Wow Creole. You are going too far w/ this. I was referencing the move so you could get some insight in the way men interact.
I think that the disconnect in the communication between men and women is that; men and women use themselves and people who think like themselves usually other men or other women respectively to gauge the next move of the pursued.
Not going to work because YES everybody is simple but it only seems so simple when you know the answer. Now what I usually try to drive @ is everyone is different. So if you want to get to know someone optimistically listen to their story. Let them tell you who they are and how they came to be. I would advise to feel free to share back and compliment what you like and why. When you find yourself awestruck, say so when the mood strikes you. Be prepared to meet a friend or foe. Neither one should be annexed out of your life so long as they ain’t about steelin killin or destroyin.
@WuDaMan,
Actually…I just like messing with you. You’re so mess-wit-able.
@CreoleInDC,
True that! Isn’t it fun.
oh n don’t forget to look out for the good things you find in that new friend.
@WuDaMan,
Perfect example of why you’re so mess-wit-able. I have no problems communicating with men. Both my best friends are men I met in college and my husband is one HELL of a man. But I’m one hell of a woman and would have excepted nothing less.
I don’t group all men together nor do I make it seem as if men know all there is to know about how a woman is or should “ack.”
I’m good. Thanks.
@CreoleInDC,
Semantics is a mothuh. What did you mean by ‘Sometimes I get the feeling you guys don’t like women all that much.’
@CreoleInDC,
Both my best friends are men I met in college and my husband is one HELL of a man. But I’m one hell of a woman and would have excepted nothing less.
i like your style, chica. YOU too are bomb diggity (i will help you bring this back, i’m all about throwbacks)
@CreoleInDC,
Sometimes I get the feeling you guys don’t like women all that much.
***insert exaggerated slow motion shaking of egghead accompanied with perfunctory prolonged exasperated sigh and solemn sip of xxx vitamin water***
@The Champ,
Dang…you weren’t even here and yet was able to verbalize my EXACT reaction. That’s talent.
GOLD STAR FOR MARCUS!
LOL @ gold stars for marcus. great use of this movie quote
@CreoleInDC,
Dang…you weren’t even here and yet was able to verbalize my EXACT reaction. That’s talent.
i get it from my momma.
Champ you have lost it!!! This is why women and men can’t get along LOL! I will give you a B for effort.
I think that some people are just unhappy. I can make a bs list of how to make a man happy but if the person isn’t happy then what is the point.
I think that true compatibility is key & communication. As much as I am a feminist, I truly believe that women & men are just different. This starts a lot of debate amongst my friends! I think that we need to understand that we are different and work within that giving each other respect & communicate to understand those differences so we can get along LOL.
@Yaa,
Actually I think w/ unhappy people you kinda got to be unhappy w/ em. Sort of that movie w/ Robin Williams when he went to ‘Heaven’ and decided to go to ‘Hades’ for his wife.
happyness vectors are like skidding in the snow. You got to turn into the skid to correct it.
@Yaa,
“I think that some people are just unhappy”
This sounds like oversimplifying the issue and could lead to laziness in relationships.
Just because someone is not happy being with you doesn’t mean they’re miserable in general. Maybe they just don’t like you. Conversely, just because you’re the bright spot in someone’s day doesn’t mean their always walking on sunshine.
For instance, a while ago my relative was going through a difficult pregnancy that had me scared for the life of said relative as well as the unborn child. I was not a happy person during this time. However, whenever my boyfriend was around I couldn’t help but smile.
It seems pretty selfish to say “Well if you can’t be happy while I’m ignoring your birthday and flirting with your best friend then you must be depressed and I just don’t need you.” Huh?
@Me fail english?, Never thought about it that way. That was actually kind of funny!!!
@Yaa, But I have issues with someone trying to make someone happy. That person has to be happy and then have someone that compliments their own personal happiness…if that makes sense.
@Yaa,
Makes sense. Some people have a laundry list of hoops people have to jump through to make them happy, which kinda begs the question “are they happy themselves”.
I have girlfriends who say they like a man to argue with them, which kinda relates to Champ’s point about random “no’s”. I suspect though, that if this is your idea of excitement in a relationship, you won’t have a very long relationship. Because what’s cute in the beginning, gets annoying later and what you argued about early on will be all-out war in a couple years (or less). You can’t be too satisfied by yourself (imo) if this is what you look forward to.
@Me fail english?,
Just because someone is not happy being with you doesn’t mean they’re miserable in general. Maybe they just don’t like you. Conversely, just because you’re the bright spot in someone’s day doesn’t mean their always walking on sunshine.
good points and sh*t
@Me fail english?,
It seems pretty selfish to say “Well if you can’t be happy while I’m ignoring your birthday and flirting with your best friend then you must be depressed and I just don’t need you.” Huh?
iDied. © Luvvie.
“honey, when you go to the store, can you pick up some wheat bread?”
“no.”
“huh?”
“nope”
“ummm. ok. do you want some head?”
I can’t even formulate a real response to your post because the above just about kilt me.
Gotta admit, though, a ninja just saying “no” to something I ask him to do IS a little hot. It’s the “ehhhh, I don’t know…”, shifting all uncomfortable in his seat that annoys me. lol
@Cheekie,
Gotta admit, though, a ninja just saying “no” to something I ask him to do IS a little hot.
**reminding self to tell cheekie “no” when she asks me to pass her some swine tips at the vsb bbq**
If you’ve gotten in (too) deep:
Treat her family like they’re your own (unless of course, your family is dysfunctional). You can make her happy/reduce tension without doing anything directly for her. Added bonus, you have influential people to keep her in check.
@An Island,
Treat her family like they’re your own
this is a toughie.
@The Champ,
Heh heh, I was just thinking about this family jazz. Now if your family is cool this is very easy. But I don’t force it with folks that aint feeling me.
On a slightly unrelated note it would be a turn on for a man to stand up for me if his fam was being rude to me. I would do the same for him.
@Me fail english?,
Don’t force what ain’t there. But if you can either add something to time with the fam, or show that you can hang with them without sitting up in my lap the whole time, I’ll be feeling that. And I know it works both ways.
And if you think no man is an island, shouldn’t you run if your boy’s family is rude to you?
@An Island,
“shouldn’t you run if your boy’s family is rude to you?”
Not always. I have relatives that are less tolerant of others and far more “assertive” (if you can believe that!) than I. I hope no one holds their plainspoken demeanor against me.
Also, as much as I love and respect the fam, if I feel my guest is getting disrespected or feels uncomfortable I’ll be their advocate and say smthg to my family.
@An Island,
I’ll have to agree to that… Although it can quickly get annoying with African parents (especially my mother who has no son and is always triying to “adopt” my boyfriends… *sigh*)
Ummm..I don’t know about #3 and #5, but great/funny post as usual. #6 is definitely on point! That actually may be the most important one. But you probably already knew that…
@3rd Supreme,
thanks and sh*t
Are you sure this list is about women? Because everything you listed, with the exception of #5 sounds like you’re talking about men. Interesting.
@RedBeanzNRice, I agree and stand behind my belief that we are different and no matter how many books Steve Harvey writes or blogs that The Champ puts up. You will never be able to get us lol. Sorry.
@Yaa, ((let the church say AMEN))
@Yaa,
what did you think bout that harvey book anyway? i feel like it got more hype than was necessary.
@maria, I feel like the success of this book proved champ’s recurring theory that women are inherently misogynistic.
@Kindred Smile,
Expound
i know LOTS of black women who think the book is the most amazing thing ever written. i’m reading it now (so i can make informed judgments/criticism) and a lot of it is “common sense” but some women need to hear/read it from a black man to actually take it to heart. not all seemingly grown women are VSSs and need some help in checking themselves. if it has to be from the advice of a King of Comedy, so be it. as long as women are taking deeper looks at themselves and the way they allow (or don’t allow) men to treat them, they are making progress and steps in the right direction to having meaningful relationships.
@Gem of the Ocean,
Firstly, “common sense” is the rarest of all senses
b. I haven’t read the book but I saw Harvey on Oprah and the bulk of the advise he was giving seemed simple enough but the Dummies McFoolishsons that were requesting the advice really were clueless. Which is why Steve Harvey had the “What the hell is wrong with you?” look on his face at least 3/4th of the program.
exactly. many of us on VSB are bright enough to realize his advice isn’t special or groundbreaking or innovative. it’s normal and sensible in such a way that should be COMMON based on practicality and typically shared experiences.
so yeah, for some women, i would actually recommend the book. becuz ME saying the exact same thing won’t get thru. but from a man who dresses obnoxiously loud?? how could you NOT pay attn?? the brightness alone is captivating.
@Luvvie,
im with you two…i have a friend reading it now and if that finally gets through to her then good. cuz i been tellin her the same isht for a good long time now!
is anyone else not a fan of him bald? i think he looks creepy with a bald head…it just aint right!
@maria, I started reading it but found it kind of offensive. I mean his intentions are good…but some of us aren’t dumb. Like a few folks have mentioned, some stuff is just common sense lol. I think he has a target audience with both his book and his radio “counseling”. I enjoy his show. I think the Strawberry Letters are hilarious and for entertainment purposes only!
He is making money off of both so I aint mad at him & some folks probably will learn something from him.
@maria,
I am not even tempted to read it… To me, it’s just plain ole common sense. Like who is this really helping? Seriously?
@Yaa,
I know right? And Steve Harvey is the LAST one that needs to be tryna write advice books. He needs to get those zoot suits in check first and foremost.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Right! Who ordained Mr. Hightower the deacon of love? I heard its a lot of common sense stuff like “be yourself”, “you won’t have to chase men you’d should be with” and “don’t let people take advantage”.
Then again, all those books are like that.
@Me fail english?, To me the book, just says a lot of the same things that “He’s just not that into you” says.. I mean its the same type of talk..
Some of the things in the book are just common sense, but since sense isn’t common then I guess he needed to reiterate the obvious
@Liryc,
and i would venture that most of his audience (i mean the audience for this book) hasnt read He’s Just Not That Into You
@RedBeanzNRice,
That book is not for all women. It’s for the dumb ones. And since they’re still runnin rampant, Steve Harvey will make millions.
@nia,
True…if I hear one more person quote that book…lawd hav mercy….lol
@nia,
That book is not for all women. It’s for the dumb ones.
Oh, nia… how I love thee.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I stan for Stee Harvey and I know his love of Zoot suits is turrble but like he said “I am not an expert on relationships. I’m an expert on manhood.”
@Luvvie,
“I’m an expert on manhood.”
Hell…that pretty much means any dude could have wrote that book…chicks acting like Steve Harvey is dropping some extra heavy science or something…it’s the same ish your brothers/ your best guy friends or your Dad has been spitting for years, and now since Steve Harvey put this ish in a book, it’s gospel.
Me no likey.
the thing is, MANY women don’t have positive/respectful male figures in their life. so they don’t have anyone to tell them that it’s OK and in fact necessary for them to set boundaries, or to understand how men think/operate/love/etc. the makings of a man or “how men are” aren’t intuitive to women and many of us just have NO CLUE. or at least aren’t willing to accept certain things to be true, and thus fall into one bad relationship after another either becuz she doesn’t know how to appreciate a good man or she only looks for bad guys.
the book is one big “duh” to me but at the same time i’m reading it and nodding my head becuz SH brings up a lot of great points that women should be confronted with.
@ Gem of the Ocean
“the thing is, MANY women don’t have positive/respectful male figures in their life”
I feel you on this part, but trust and believe someone has told you right from wrong when you’ve bumped your head.
Your Mom, Auntie, Grandma…someone told you when you were messing up, maybe you weren’t trying to listen at the time, but they told you.
You’ve even had your own personal “aha” moment, like “what that hell am I doing?”
Trust me, I had the same issue with the “He’s Just Not That Into You” book.
Like my MawMaw used to say “everybody ain’t got good common sense.”
i don’t completely disagree with you chica. but it’s like, you’re not likely to listen to ppl about relationships who haven’t been in good relationships. that’s like listening to your loudest, most boisterous friend about what to do in YOUR relationship when this chick is your gold-digging, no man having, bad head game having friend. like even if what she was saying was true and on point, you just don’t trust the source given her circumstances.
it’s sometimes easier to listen to some one, esp of the opposite sex, about relationships who you’ve never met in your life but is pointing out every wrong thing you’ve ever done in a relationship like they’ve known you for years. that’s all i’m saying.
@miss t-lee,
Some dudes are not experts on manhoods, but experts on boyhood and douchebaggery
@ Luvvie
I guess some aren’t really experts on anything…lol
@miss t-lee,
I am with you, girl. People need to stop quoting it to me, or they’ll keep getting the stank face.
And then again, the target audience of this book has already read all the books, heard all the cautionary tales, seen all the bad rom-com movies depicting that stuff and still are clueless.
Change doesn’t come from a book, it comes from someone WANTING to change…
To me the tone of the book is so very condescending, I don’t feel like I’m the target audience at all.
@RedBeanzNRice,
Are you sure this list is about women?
i think so.
@RedBeanzNRice,
I think #4 is important and should actually be #1. The more you listen and respond appropriately to what you hear us say, the happier we are. And responding appropriately generally means not being an @$$hole with regard to what we say. There are ways to express any opinion, even a negative one with out being a jerk.
Doing what you know we want or like WITHOUT BEING ASKED also keeps up happy. But you gotta LISTEN to grasp that.
I know I’m off topic, but are any 6-burgh VSBers going to the Black Party tomorrow? Did anyone go last year? If, so how was it?
@Voiceofreason,
black party? does this have anything to do with gem’s bedroom?
@The Champ,
LOL! No.
http://www.brothaashproductions.com/BlackParty2009.htm
heyyyyyyyyyyy!!! *doing paw paw dance*
i’m going!!! *excitedly waving arm in the air*
me and my girls will be out celebrating a friend’s bday. i didn’t go last year but i heard it was a good time. Nate Da Phat tends to throw good parties with GREAT music and a good scene (aka few hoodrats or hooligans).
@Gem of the Ocean,
It seems like it’s going to be fun. I’m going with some friends too. I would tell you to look out for me, based on what I’m wearing but we’ll all be in black. If you happen to see a chick with dark skin and curly hair feel free to say hi. It’ll most likely be me.
ummmm yeah that’s not really a good enough description lol. but i’ll be the “racially ambiguous” so-called “light skint” chica with a short bob (chin length)– accompanied by an amazon light skinned chick (the bday girl) and some others but any description of them would just be lost (since there will be plenty of avg height pretty dark skinned girls with long hair lol)
@Gem of the Ocean,
I was trying to avoid the obvious but here goes…the girls are pretty serious. When I was in school even though I got straight “A”s I always had “D”s. Oh and if you should happen to hear me speak, I sound like a 2520. Lol.
LOL ummmm ok i’ll be on t*tty patrol tmrw night.
if you see some one doing this dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY1oF3OXOnI) with a serious face, it’s likely GEMMIE!!!
mind you, my paw paw dance will be done with very nicely french manicured hands.
@Voiceofreason, i’ll be there too!!! (in spirit)
…after witnessing what child birth does to a vagina, only a true optimist would stay around and willingly have sex again after that.
This reminded me of an un-funny story that I laughed at.
Of this husband after delivery turns to the doctor and says “You can also?” (makes sewing motions).. “OK, OK, OK… make sure it’s backstitch”
@Wanjiru,
What???? Too much.
@Wanjiru,
iDied at “OK, OK, OK… make sure it’s backstitch”
@Wanjiru, LMFAO.. I can’t… I died @ Ok OK OK, make sure its backstitch
Very nice breakdown of realness
@Tha BossMack Topsoil,
thanks and sh*t
Good list. Sometimes that compliment stuff gets exhausting. Makes me want smack the hell out of her parents (particularly her father) for insecurity and self-esteem issues I have to clean up.
Optimism gets difficult when you have real things going on in your life sometimes. The support often seems lopsided.
You can try to listen, but at some point it begins to sound like those Charlie Brown characters: wah wah wah wah..etc. We must have been on the same page today Champ. Good post. And sh*t.
Bond. BlkBond.
Any list about keeping a woman happy that doesn’t including blowing her back out on a regular basis is just not a list I can co-sign.
Sorry champ.
@JJ,
*nods grimly*
preach my brother preach
@shatani,
i first heard this term when a visitor on my old website used it to describe the way beyonce was writhing around in the “baby boy” video.