“yo, son: when you gonna stop d*ckin around and marry her ass?”
even though we all know a chick or three that would cut her closest homegirl’s throat if forced to choose between her and her man, the prevailing thought is that a woman’s girlfriends have an unparalleled influence on who she chooses to date.
in truth, a man’s best friend actually welds more power than any other third party.
noone, not his dad, his deacon, or his dealer has as much “she aint right for you, dog” veto power as a guy’s acebooncoon. even if they’re not exactly paragons of relationship health themselves, they’re usually ultra cynical genius-level bullshit detectors when it comes to who their homie happens to be dating because they knowknow you better than anyone else, and truly want you to be happy.
because of this, men need to pay extra close attention when their best friend asks em, “when you gonna stop dickin around and marry her ass?”, because any woman your best friend would actually say that about is definitely a keeper, even if you haven’t realized it.
anyway, although countless viewings of the obama calenders in our cubicles have given us an idea of what a keeper might look like, many of us wouldn’t recognize a. keeper even if she were giving us a lapdance while rocking twin “hi. i’m a. keeper” tassels on her chest.
this is even more pronounced with brothas who, educated or not, all could use a bit more help figuring out that there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio.
to help our vsb’s out, and as another example of our crime-fighting ideals, here’s four more signs that she’s probably a keeper…and you just might have to marry her ass:
1. your sex life is better than it was a year ago
why does this matter? well, an improving sex life means that you’ve grown more sexually compatible, a fact that suggests a combination of three separate things:
a) you’re communicating better
b) she’s getting more comfortable with herself and her body
c) she was patient enough to wait for you to “catch up” to her
either way, its a sign she thinks enough of you and your relationship to work to improve on something that many “grown” women (and, from what i’ve heard, men) take for granted: chicks who think that “shave”, “show up once a week” and “take off your panties” are the only reasonable relationship sexual requirements on their end.
2. she blushes when people give her genuine compliments
although, of course, if she happens to blush and coo when mr. md20/20 at the club tells her that she looks better than a five year old can of spam, maybe it’s time to re-think those joint lease plans.
3. she spends the night with you when you’re sick
i’ve always found it amazing that the same woman who needs to call the national guard to help her kill a baby spider in her apartment will happily volunteer to spend the night with a guy with amoebic dysentery if she cares enough about him.
4. she’s a great tipper
they say that character is best defined by how you behave when you think noone is looking. they also said that the hangover would actually be funny. basically, they are full of shit.
anyway, when you consider a typical woman’s relationship with money, a woman willing to generously and graciously tip a person who many others would deem to be a social subordinate says a lot about her character, constitution, and potential willingness to occasionally sleep in the wet spot, all valued qualities of a keeper.
people of vsb.com, did i miss anything? can you think of any more signs that a woman might be “wife material”?
the carpet is yours.
—the champ
Related posts:
- link of the week: “why men marry some women and not others”
- milk was a bad choice: 10 signs that you’re in a sh*tty relationship
- bonkers: five signs you’re dealing with a crazy-ass bastard
- but when he gets on, he’ll leave your ass for a white girl…or not
- six things every grown-ass sista should possess
{ 191 comments… read them below or add one }
“A man’s best friend actually welds more power than any other third party”
I gotta agree. I just went to dinner with some friends and one guy brought up this girl who he thinks is the one and mentioned how his boys agreed that she’s the one for him. He didn’t mention what anyone else thought, even his mom who he’s very close to. I could tell that his boys’ opinions mattered a lot.
@Leila,
I just went to dinner with some friends and one guy brought up this girl who he thinks is the one and mentioned how his boys agreed that she’s the one for him
you have to be careful though if its unanimous like that, because sometimes that means she smashed the homies
She is a keeper if:
She knows all your personal information ie..social security number have access to your bank accounts, blood type and know your REAL name and she has not disclosed it or used the funds to support her Mac and shoes habit instead she willingly contributes the nest-egg funds…she is most definately a keeper!
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil, why would she even have all of that before being certified as a keeper?
@sunshyne84,
lol, yeah. i was thinking the same thing. sh*t, i dont even know my own blood type.
welcome and sh*t, btw (i think)
My bf and I have been together for five years and I have ALL OF THAT INFO. It’s just something you learn after being together for a long time. P.S. The homies gave me the stamp four years ago, we just picked out my ring last week. Still ringless.
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
His Blood type?
Clearly…I’ve had it all wrong.
@miss t-lee,
My girl and I have actually talked about bloodtypes and the such, we’re corny like that and shyt.
@Monk,
Awww…I think she’s a keeper!!!
@SeeNoEvilHearNoEvil,
LMFAO! This comment made me just burst into laughter in my quiet office..and now everyone is looking at me with the “I knew she was crazy” eyes!
Anywho… If a *Keeper* knows all this infor about you it’s for 1 of 2 reasons (or maybe both)
1.) she is a damn good detective and should have studied that in school instead of business management
2.) the said *Keeper* is thinking about keeping you around for the long haul too and just wants to make sure things are ok on your end before she signs that lifetime agreement.
The fact that she took the time to find these things out means she is serious bout her ish…and the fact that she didn’t use them should speak volumes!
“people of vsb.com, did i miss anything? ”
No, only the 5th reason
“can you think of any more signs that a woman might be “wife material”? ”
Ohhh, like a 5th sign? Let’s see….um……
5. She can count
(and beat you to it when saying _____deez)
@Ivyette,
HAHAHAHA! I caught that too!
@Ivyette,
Yeah, girl, I was kinda thinkin’ that was a test of the Emergency VSS system…
Guess we all bout to be offered a buncha deez…
@
bittersweet’s baby,Champ(Sure, you’re gonna say the dude’s best friend endorsement was included in the list, but whateva.)
@bittersweet’s baby, right, exactly. if you’ve been playing along, champ writes his list posts like this all the time. (drives me nuts, that’s why I notice LOL).
@everyone in this thread
“if you’ve been playing along, champ writes his list posts like this all the time”
obviously some of the vss’s just aren’t very smart
@Ivyette,
@Everyone (even the “champ”)
I just reread the post and you all are right. There are five signs. I was focusing on the numbers. LOL
@Ivyette,
focus on deez instead
@The Champ,
“focus on deez instead”
shut-up
(yea, yea..I know- “shut up deez” LOL)
You should go on ahead and tie that knot when she stays with you after getting laid off/fired and genuinely does not treat you any different while you get back on your feet. That means she’s down for you through thick and thin and won’t be a b*tch when she discovers every day with you isn’t filled with unicorns & glitter.
@naturallyalise1,
“You should go on ahead and tie that knot when she stays with you after getting laid off/fired and genuinely does not treat you any different while you get back on your feet”
good point. the recession is testing a ton of relationships right now
@naturallyalise1,
If I was the marrying kind I would have wifed someone who did the above. In 10 years I may seriously regret my decision to let her go.
If she steps backs when you are acting like a straight up fool, lets to vent, cold shoulder, play PSIII for the entire weekend, gives you a forgiving but knowing look when you try to half ass make up without actually apologizing for your straight up fool acting ass, cooks your favorite meal and welcomes you back into her arms and into her bed to let you know she will always love you, understand you and let you be you!
@WonderWoman,
sounds like there’s something you want to get off of your chest
“lets you vent” I hate typos!
I would add something. But I know nothing. And I’m sure I don’t quite fit the “marrying kind” category.
Why, you ask? Because I’m a Pimp in a Purple Suit.
I just wanted to say that. Carry on.
@chaoticdiva,
And I’m sure I don’t quite fit the “marrying kind” category
this is true. not everyone is built for marriage. the world needs mistresses too. look at alicia keys
@The Champ, co-sign, the threat of a mistress keeps the main chick on her toes…how else would you explain the trench and red pumps in the emergency relationship rescue bag closet.
@chaoticdiva,
Can i be your #1 b!tch? I slang a mean portion of pvc. I’ll even build you a stool to step up on when you want to slap the sh8t and taste out of my mouth…holla at ya boy.
@atltx,
Yes, but first you must pass a series of tests that indicate your worth. I don’t slang pyrite, I slang diamonds, fool.
(no, I don’t have any sense whatsoever).
@chaoticdiva,
“Why, you ask? Because I’m a Pimp in a Purple Suit.”
I love it!
If she lets you be a man publicly and privately.
@Buxxy,
“If she lets you be a man publicly and privately.”
Please explain…I have difficulty believing that I need a woman’s “permission” to be me….
@DG, it’s not about needing her permission, it’s about a woman recognizing a man’s need to feel validated at times. Por ejemplo, if you like picking up the check, she’s not fighting you at the restaurant like “I GOT THIS! I’M PAYING FOR ME AND MY MAN!” thus making your balls recoil in horror. Or if she’s whipping a Caddy, but you’re taking the subway (hey, it’s rough out here), she may give you the keys to let you drive so you can feel like a betterman (cue: Musiq Soulchild)
And of course, privately, she makes you feel like a man by telling you it feels good even if the big “O”mi-goodness! came 10 minutes ago lol.
@Anike Love,
Thanks for the explanation…I get what you’re saying, but I think it’s the semantics of “letting a man be a man,” as if true manhood needs validation. I guess I was raised thinking that a man is a man even when no one else is looking…so if you pick up the check every now and then, I’m surely not threatened by that…and if I’m taking the metro, I’m still taking care of business (i.e., going to work, etc.). I don’t need to drive her car to maintain/validate my manhood.
I guess it’s just the way it’s said…
@DG,
I don’t recall putting the word “permission” in there but if thats how you took then yikes! All I am trying to say is that a women needs to know when to shut up and let her man be a man. Its a subtle art that has been lost throughout the womanhood community. I am a very traditional person, so I feel like the man is the head of the household. Some women don’t feel that way and when the natural order of things is disrupted pandoras box is opened. So if you can find a woman that understands her role in the relationship (now this doesn’t mean that she is totally submissive object to be abused) then she may be the one to marry.
But this is a complex topic because we would first need to establish what is to be a man… Spiritually, mentally and physically. I am ready for my mid day nap so we will have to continue that convo at a later date
@Buxxy,
I gotcha…thanks for the explanation….
Enjoy your nap (get some Zz for me too)…
You can bring out to family and friend functions without the fear that she’ll embarrass you. You mother and sisters, father, uncles like her, treat and call her family, and she has manners. So not only do you not mind bringing her out in public, you enjoy it.
Cuz there are some people that are just like Anthony Mason can’t go no where with him (name the movie).
@JumpOnIt,
“Cuz there are some people that are just like Anthony Mason can’t go no where with him (name the movie).”
the original kings of comedy
she can leave the house without any makeup on
@sharde, cosign…. love the all natural….lip gloss is always appropriate and will not count against u……..then again super sexy lips is also a plus
@sharde, IF she hardly wears any make-up, in the first place!
@sharde,
“she can leave the house without any makeup on”
so basically oprah isn’t a keeper?
welcome and sh*t, btw
@The Champ,
“so basically oprah isn’t a keeper?”
Right. Trust, if it wasn’t HER choice to p*ssywhip Stedman and not marry him, I don’t think he would marry her because she is 2 different people with her makeup and without. With makeup, she is Oprah. Without, she is the Gilla Monster.
…
Ok, wait, ya know what…he probably still would. I recant the above since she owns the world, the other planets and their respective moons. Money trumps makeup.
@Cheekie,
“Money trumps makeup.”
LOL
I’ll just wait for the 5th sign before I add anything….
@klysha,
did you (and a few other) vss’s graduate from derek zoolander’s school for kids who can’t really read that good?
@The Champ, That’s what I get for reading the blog after my bed time instead of waiting til morning like I normally do. At any rate….I’m only going to let that little comment of yours slide because I’m distracted by all the hassle the administration at Zoolander High is giving me about sending a copy of my diploma.
If she is willing to compromise
If she is willing to give a real apology
She listens and actually does things to make you happy that you stated in a conversation she initiated about shyt you need to do better
@shay-d-lady, that last one was real
@shay-d-lady,
“If she is willing to give a real apology.”
You know, this is crucial. In my experience, it is a rarity for a woman to (wo)man up and admit faults when they are wrong. Or they feel the need to always counter with something that you did/said wrong during their half-ass apology that can be totally unrelated. I chalk it up to the female ego that can sometimes be bigger than a man’s.
Nevertheless, once a woman gets over herself and sees that she’s not perfect, that’s a point for her in the keeper category.
@Monk,
You know, this is crucial. In my experience, it is a rarity for a woman to (wo)man up and admit faults when they are wrong. Or they feel the need to always counter with something that you did/said wrong during their half-ass apology that can be totally unrelated. I chalk it up to the female ego that can sometimes be bigger than a man’s
lol, i agree. you’ll see another season of the wire before you get a complete apology from some women
Yeah, that one was damn good, because it requires her to put her mate in front of herself and a well balanced relationship is built off of compromise, trust and communication. Good point.
I thought Champ was saying that the 5th sign was that the man’s best friend (who may or may not be a dog, pun intended) verifies that the lady in question is indeed a keeper?
Shooooot, I can’t think of a single thing to add. I’ve seen certain women (self included) do just about all we can, short of neon signs, parades, or lightning strikes from Our Heavenly Father, to let dudes know we are keepers. But they stay myopic…with the horse blinders on for whatever it is they’re gunning for (money, a*s, respect, whatever).
Maybe a fact that a guy would read this post/ponder this about a certain lady he’s involved with would imply that she at least has keeper potential.
@E.Jay, but it’s not up to you to say you are a keeper. The willingness to keep is the heart of the keeper. I don’t care how great a person may think they are and have all the great qualities of a good mate what matters the most is the opinion of the one that would be choosing you as a keeper.
I. AM. FABULOUS. but my husband choosing me was not based on how I view myself, he had to decide that I was the one for him.
@Raqi,
Seems my age is showing a bit lol. I get you. But at the end of the day/relationship, it doesn’t make the whole process less exhausting, even if/though you wanted to do all of the things you did for the other person.
@E.Jay,
I’ve been taught if you have to tell people something about yourself, then maybe it isn’t true.
Most VSBs are smart enough to see that we may have a keeper but there’s something internally we have to take care of before we “marry her @ss.” What that is, is unique to each VSB.
@Stank-0,
I hear ya, but trust and believe it is indeed true. I don’t run around yelling “I’m a keeper!” It’s just that the things that I (and some other women I know) will do and have done for a man I love/care about are often above and beyond what he may be accustomed to. And not for the sake of trying to get him to “keep me” so much as it is me being myself, while making room for another person as a priority in my life because I see potential with them.
The second part of your statement is actually where the real disconnect has always been for me. A lot of guys I have encountered (it may just be our ages), interested in me or not, seem to think that there is some magical moment in time where a man will have all his sh*t together, seemingly not understanding that human beings constantly change emotionally and physically for the rest of their lives and that it really is ok for two people to grow together. Yes, it is unique to the man, and how he chooses to handle it is the man’s prerogative, I suppose. I respect that if he isn’t ready, it probably won’t happen, and I don’t just mean with me. But, a lot of times I just wonder what he’s waiting for.
@E.Jay,
You make a fair point about what I said. I guess part of it is how men and women approach the entire venture. Women seem to look at potential like I’m a stock that she can buy low, keep it, and then reinvest dividends at it matures. I think men have this internal struggle over what’s good for me vs. what looks good to me vs. what I think I may or may not want.
I think you confused what I was getting at with “having your shyt together.” They can be mutually exclusive or one and the same. By internally, I mean there are just some things he has to wrestle with before he has decided whether or not to keep his “keeper.” I still believe most VSBs know a keeper when we see one. It’s far easier to tell when someone else has a keeper vs. when we have one.
No one wants to become a marriage statistic, but then again no one wants to be that dirty old man trying to get a the PYTs that will continually shoot you down.
Having your shyt together I think is more about being stable. No man wants to marry a woman and feel like her charity case.
@E.Jay,
I thought Champ was saying that the 5th sign was that the man’s best friend (who may or may not be a dog, pun intended) verifies that the lady in question is indeed a keeper?
good job. i see someone took their flintstones this morning
welcome and sh*t, btw
@The Champ,
Haha thanks.
if she says “I’m pregnant… It’s yours.” *shrugs* (still cheaper to keep her)
@Ashleyg, Lol she may be labeled as a trapper keeper. Maybe.
@E.Jay,
“trapper keeper”
HILARIOUS!!
@E.Jay,
Props for “trapper keeper”. lmao
@Cheekie,
Did anyone have one of these that actually lasted the whole school year? By the end of school year mine would be beat up.
@ Humble_One
Nah…that jump would always fall apart mid year…lol
@Humble_one
@Cheekie,
@miss t-lee,
Nope, they never lasted. From the commercials, you would think that you’d be able to dribble them down the court, dunk ‘em, and they’ll still be intact. However, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t looking for one up in Target not too long ago. I actually think it would be useful and fun to use as an adult..I’d take better care of it now.
@Humble_One,
Nope. I probably put too much ish in mine, and I know of at least a few classmates go theirs stolen because they were such a hot commodity. lol
@Ashleyg,
This is probably my 2nd to last least favorite reason anyone ever puts a ring on it… Hoping to never be in that number.
@bittersweet’s baby,
I feel ya, but hey, his topic said signs that you might have to marry her… and that’s one of those signs. I’m not trying to be in that number either though…
@ E.Jay, LOL @ “trapper keeper”!
When we pick and choose our battles. I have learned sometimes its not best to argue or fight over something small, ESPECIALLY, when he is not MY man, basically I have no juris”dick”tion-yet. So unless he does something WAY out of pocket, I’ll play my position and keep quiet.* Chances are I will have an opportunity to address it later. Men always make the same mistake twice, on the strength they got away with it before but we let YOU THINK you got away with it, but really we got it in the pocket.
*Sorry, Ladies if I let the cat out of the bag.
P.S.- I didn’t know just how much your closest boy has weight on such a matter. What about your brother?
@Miss BXNYC,
You don’t think that’s a bit deceptive? If by “MY man” you mean marriage, people divorce pretty quickly and easily these days. Picking and choosing battles is critical, I agree, but it should also be maintained throughout so there are no surprises.
@Miss BXNYC,
“P.S.- I didn’t know just how much your closest boy has weight on such a matter. What about your brother?”
well, i’m speaking for cats (such as myself) who dont have any brothers
@Miss BXNYC,
I don’t know if I agree with your comment. I don’t think couples should argue over little things but if you keep playing your position (which I’m not sure what it is in your case) then the little things are going to add up and a huge fight will ensue. In any relationship one should always being to communicate an issue with their SO, no matter how small it is. If I am exclusively dating someone, they are my juris”dick”tion.
Not too long ago my brother randomly hit me with a “Yo, so… do you like [his girlfriend]?” And of course I knew why he was asking. But really, a green light from the best friend goes a longer way than anything else.
This post + chaoticdiva’s comment reminded me of “The Marrying Kind” by Prince for some reason.
@P.,
This post + chaoticdiva’s comment reminded me of “The Marrying Kind” by Prince for some reason.
thats strange. after re-reading, it reminds me of pancakes and jagged edge
“this is even more pronounced with brothas who, educated or not, all could use a bit more help figuring out that there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio.”
Can the church say yaymen???
one of my favorite lines from you in a minute, champy.
@Liz,
thanks and sh*t, lizzard.
@Liz, I think I felt the spirit move a little when I read that line too LOL
Wait, I’m having a hard time processing this post:
You don’t think The Hangover was hilarious???
And go ‘head and add the 5th one
@KayBeezy, exactly! that movie had me crying, and i’m a very tough critic. so what the hell does the champ consider funny??
@KayBeezy,
I think the laughter that I had was the result of seeing it in a crowded theater, and laughter being infectious. On second viewing, I really did not laugh at all.
@KayBeezy,
You don’t think The Hangover was hilarious???
no. not at all. i laughed (maybe) three times, and even those were forced because i wanted to love the movie. it was like i was typing “lol” to someone on gchat after they told me a lazy joke
i mean, seriously, i saw the movie saturday and i can’t think of one funny part. not one. (and i’m the same guy who has the 40 year old virgin and anchorman on his top ten all-time favorite movie list)
@The Champ,
Wow. You got me wondering if I’m gonna like it now…*finger on chin*
This reminds me of when one my co-worker kept telling me I JUST HAD to see Napoleon Dynamite–she let me borrow her dvd and I think I laughed maybe like twice during the entire movie.
Then she was like, “aww, you didn’t like it?”
Um no.
It’s not like I don’t like idiotic movies either, I just didn’t get that ish.
@miss t-lee,
Napoleon Dynamite is arguably the worst movie that I have ever seen. If a person tells me that they love it I no longer respect their taste in anything. It was that bad.
@Dash,
Good to know I’m not alone…lol
She also gave me Nacho Libre to watch, which I don’t even think I made it to the halfway mark before I refused to continue it.
After that, I didn’t take anymore movie recs from her.
@miss t-lee,
Nacho Libre was a good idea, but the execution was horrible. Jack Black is best when used as a secondary character like in High Fidelity.
@dash,
“Napoleon Dynamite is arguably the worst movie that I have ever seen”
panama and i came up with a list of comedies that were nowhere near as funny as people said they were. the hangover made the cut, as well as old school…but i’m surprised we both forgot about napolean dynamite
@ Dash,
You think?
Maybe it’s just because I don’t cut for Jack Black. *kanye shrug*
@miss t-lee
I watched it on a plane over the ocean and it made me happy. I didn’t see it over the summer and heard mixed things about it,but wanted to like it, so maybe that helped…but seriously, if you like fun,happiness and shennanigans you’ll like it…
Not to say The Champ doesn’t like those things.Napoleon Dynamite was wack with a capital sorry. I wanted to like it because all the 2520s at my school said it was legendary,alas…
@The Champ,
“it was like i was typing “lol” to someone on gchat after they told me a lazy joke”
I’m about the only or 3rd person left that hasn’t seen The Hangover yet, but I gotta note this is a great analogy! I know exactly what you’re talkin’ about! lol << (this is not one of those lazy lols by the way so don't deez me)
@KayBeezy,
I could totally see The Hangover being one of those movies that can only be enjoyed once and only if it was seen in a crowded theater with no expectations of hilarity (I had never even heard of it til the day I went to see it). That’s the way I saw it and I enjoyed it. But upon leaving I did get the feeling I wouldn’t want to own the DVD.
I would imagine that if I saw it after hearing all the hype I wouldn’t have like it nearly as much or laughed nearly as hard.
@klysha,
I had never even heard of it til the day I went to see it
I think that you captured it. I didn’t know a thing about it when I went to see it, and it was hilarious… I am definitely not going to see it again, because the whole point is the surprise element of it.
6. Can read AND count.
At least up to 5, because this post definitely has 5 ‘signs’ in it but some folks don’t seem to see all 5 of them.
@Liz
Touche :/
I guess the homeboy’s opinion is the first one, although it’s not enumerated.
@Liz, LMBO.
@Liz,
lol, i guess having “here’s four MORE signs” in bold wasn’t obvious enough
@The Champ,
You know when you number ish people just skim the list before reading the entire post. That’s probably why everyone thought it was just four. lol
Maybe she (or for women, he) is a keeper if you enjoy being with them so much as a friend, that you can imagine growing old with them.
@Kit (Keep It Trill),
Yep. If looks and a lot of shyt fade, but if you love the crust of someone to wanna be with them when you’re both old as dirt, they’re a keeper.
@Monk,
i get what “loving the crust” of somebody means, but still, the imagery is awful. i don’t wanna love the crypt keeper
Ughhh…. why I am awake at this ungodly hour… can’t even think right now.. must…. sleep…….
I’ll holla back in a few
Congratulations! When are you having your nads clipped son? Lemme tell you, you’ll never forget that but you’ll for dam sure get past it.
@Ozymandias Manhattan,
watchmen deez
@Ozymandias Manhattan,
Name reminds me that I need to finish reading The Watchmen.
When she gets your obscure (movie, song, book, VSB) references, you gotta keep her then. This means that y’all are sympatico (love that word & been dyin to use it for a minute ) so there* and BTW-where’s the “why do Black women date white men” post……Just sayin , and please don’t give me none of that Random Deez stuff either Champy
@bajanflchick,
“When she gets your obscure (movie, song, book, VSB) references, you gotta keep her then.”
The fact that she is capable of quoting lines from random Adult Swim cartoons, sings the theme song from Duck Tales for no reason, or knows Sgt. Water’s aside from “A Soldier’s Story” word for word are major keeper signs to me.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
“Sgt. Water’s aside from “A Soldier’s Story” word for word are major keeper signs to me.”
LOL…love it.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
The fact that she is capable of quoting lines from random Adult Swim cartoons, sings the theme song from Duck Tales for no reason, or knows Sgt. Water’s aside from “A Soldier’s Story” word for word are major keeper signs to me.
Received a random proposal (ring and all…no joke) based on my combined knowledge of Robot Chicken, a historic documentary on LA gangs, my ability to recite the lyrics of the Boondocks/Samurai Champloo/Shonen Bat theme songs (or a reasonable facsimile…) and my love of all things Erik B & Rakim, Henry Rollins and Lenny Kravitz…(don’t ask…)
@Tenchi,
Oh yeah…and the whole “Fight Club” /Chuck Palahnuik thing…
(turned it down btw…)
@bajanflchick,
“BTW-where’s the “why do Black women date white men” post……Just sayin , and please don’t give me none of that Random Deez stuff either Champy”
its already on the site, you just have to piece together words from the 500 or so post we’ve already written to read it
She’s a keeper when the snide remarks from your mother doesn’t run her off.
She is a keeper when you go to make plans you actually consider her and your plans may affect her.
She is a keeper when (in line with your #3) she picks up the used kleenex from the floor beside your bed, makes you honey lemon tea and tucks you in bed.
She is a keeper when you can trust her to go into wallet. LOL
@Raqi,
I always like what you have to say.
But I will add this, I provide him with a plastic grocery store bag to put his kleenex in or put the little bathroom trashcan by the bed for him. LOL!
@Raqi,
“She is a keeper when you can trust her to go into wallet. LOL”
lol, this could also be under “signs that you’re whipped beyond recovery”
@The Champ,
Cosign. I think that falls under “signs that you no longer have a pair”.
I struggle with knowing so many men are looking for mothering (picking up kleenex, tucking you in, wiping your nose snot, blind acceptance/forgiveness, laying up with you when you’re sick) and think this is the same thing as a wife/partner. Maybe cuz I sure as hell don’t want kids, especially a grown ass one laying up in my bed sharing the ebola virus with me and shit, and the jury is out on whether I want to get married. I make some exceptions for love and I know men want and will find certain things in a woman (I know I want certain traits in a man) but I don’t think being called wife material is that big of a damn compliment…it’s always felt somewhat backhanded–you got you a domestically inclined, well-behaved fembot who fits in nicely. Keep her! –and everything in me wants to resist that. Just call me a good woman, leave it at that and if you want to marry me, cool. If you have to call me wifey and wife material and shit don’t do it to my face
@RocktheCatbox,
“I struggle with knowing so many men are looking for mothering (picking up kleenex, tucking you in, wiping your nose snot, blind acceptance/forgiveness, laying up with you when you’re sick) and think this is the same thing as a wife/partner.”
As a 30 yr old man I have to co-sign this. This may be weird but I want to be left alone when I’m sick! I find this annoying although I know it’s done with the best intentions.
@RocktheCatbox, I concur!
@RocktheCatbox,
I struggle with knowing so many men are looking for mothering (picking up kleenex, tucking you in, wiping your nose snot, blind acceptance/forgiveness, laying up with you when you’re sick) and think this is the same thing as a wife/partner
its not about “mothering” as much as its about knowing someone will be there for you when you’re at your weakest.
and, again, like someone (choaticdiva i think) suggested upthread, not everyone is built to be wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers and sh*t. get in where you fit in, i guess
@The Champ,
True. I want to do that stuff, but I don’t want somebody telling me I ought to, and what it makes me, LOL. This one time I went and got a dude I was dating some benadryl for his allergies he told me you’d make a great wife and mother and it irritated me, and I couldn’t explain why. Nothing a day of therapy or on VSB couldn’t draw out.
@RocktheCatbox,
I don’t like this either. I can take care of myself when I’m sick. I’m just not into the babying thing. It makes me feel funny.
@RocktheCatbox,
Kudos!!! So feeling your post.
All my gfs are married or getting engaged and for some reason I’m not feeling the automatic “mothering/whore” paradigm that they have suddenly assumed.
@RocktheCatbox,
I mean, isn’t a man who is “husband” material a strong, principled provider whose values you would want imparted to your babies?
I agree that men shouldn’t go into a relationship looking for their mommas, but I think that many men have similar priorities when it come to a woman. Just like women expect men to be able to take care of the business of providing for and protecting the family, we expect y’all to be able to look after the home.
Now, that doesn’t mean we won’t marry a woman who is lacking those qualities if she has other qualities that outweigh those deficits. But, I don’t think it’s a negative that cats are looking for women who want to care for them and who display nurturing characteristics.
@Big Man,
“Just like women expect men to be able to take care of the business of providing for and protecting the family, we expect y’all to be able to look after the home.”
That’s exactly what I’m looking for in a man.
@RocktheCatbox, Just call me a good woman, leave it at that and if you want to marry me, cool. If you have to call me wifey and wife material and shit don’t do it to my face
I agree. It’s almost like some test you have to pass to “measure up”. Just like every man is not trying to be the husband, every woman isn’t trying to be someone’s wife. In fact, some women aren’t really trying to be anybody’s wife. I count it as arrogance when so many men really think you’re trying to be “wifey” or trying to twist their arm into a commitment. Ninja, sit down some where! Sorry–a touch of flashback there
@Ivyette,
Yeah man. that’s that shit…I know women are thought to want/idealize marriage more, and marriage gives women social capital, and being told you are marriageable is supposed to be an honor and a compliment from your man, your man’s homeboy, your dad, dudes on the street, dudes you meet on the way to work, dudes you date and and taxi drivers. If women went around telling men they were casually dating or spent some time with, gee you’d make a great husband someday, gold star for you!–how would men react to that? Seriously, I am asking cuz I want to know. I think they’d be kind of weirded out. @BigMan, I agree with you too. I have no problem with two folks sitting down to talk about the qualities they want/admire/are attracted to with each other, who are considering marriage or who know each other well and want to progress to long-term dating, but it’s kind of weird when a man who does not have this status in my life behaves as though all women ought to display nurturing, wifelike characteristics for their benefit. That’s I guess my issue. I love men, enjoy them and think they are great, but this particular thing, I do not love. Then again, if all men went around working their damndest to display husbandlike characteristics at all times…well that would just be funny as hell…so I don’t blame men for what gendered assumptions both men and women ascribe to.
@RocktheCatbox,
You’re thinking outside the box and I personally feel that your ability to do this, would make you a GREAT wife someday, lol. (just messing with you, lol)
I like your analytical approach to the subject and your analysis in this comment hits a point that most fail to realize. Women are taught to be thirsty for those “that would make you a good wife or mother” comments.
if she is able to check your bad habits in a constructive way that only makes you want to be a better man for yourself, for her, and for society she’s a keeper. it’s just as they say “if you don’t make me better, why do I need you?”
I like this, simple and plain.
@my soul’s in my smile,
This couldn’t be said better. If she is bettering you as a man and he is bettering you as a woman….HOLD ON tight.
Definitely agree on the best friend thing. Mr Mister JUST had this conversation with one of his boys, lol.
You realize that your reasons for not marrying her are so bullsh*t that you wouldn’t dare tell anyone.
@Caballeroso, ha ha…good one
Sup VSBfam!
She has her own football team she roots for and refuses to give hers up to impress you.
Oh wait.. that’s just me?
@Keisha Brown,
Nope, it’s not just you. Go Pats!
@Keisha Brown,
Nope not just you…lol
She’s a keeper when your older sisters like her. When your 44 and 39 yr old sisters let another woman into the family with open arms this is a sign that you should put papers on her. While my oldest sister was recovering from a breast cancer related surgery the first thing she asked me was “Why haven’t you married ____ yet?” I took this as a sign that big sis # 1 actually gave a damn or it could have been the vicodin talking.
@Wuyoung Agent of M.E.,
When your 44 and 39 yr old sisters let another woman into the family with open arms this is a sign that you should put papers on her.
this is a good point. it wouldn’t work for me, though, because my sister likes everyone
6. She responds to your requests for small, relatively insignificant things (wearing her contacts because you like her without glasses, matching underwear when she know’s you’re sleeping over, etc.) without making a scene/big deal out of it or even telling you she’s doing it to get “credit”.
7. Her gifts indicate she pays attention to what you say/think/need/love/care about.
@Dr. Hak,
7. Her gifts indicate she pays attention to what you say/think/need/love/care about.
see, i’m easy to please. if my girl just buys me new underwear and socks for christmas i’m happier than kelly ripa
@The Champ,
“if my girl just buys me new underwear and socks for christmas i’m happier than kelly ripa”
my theory is, if i want you to wear something i better buy it. I hated my exbf’s underwear so I went and bought new ones. it was a pleasure to see him undress after that
If you 1. like her and 2. feel sorry for her. AKA you think you’re not good enough for the good things she continues to give to you.? What say yall @ that?
@WuDaMan, So long as she feels the same way about you.
@WuDaMan, given the condition that you added this could be added to the list
Where’s #5?lol
@Ms_Slim,
right next to deez
@The Champ, “right next to deez”
LMAO… ur too much
@The Champ,
“right next to deez”
Is it your rating?
I can’t tell a dude when I’m a keeper. All I can do is be one. If I am the one that he is supposed to keep, then he will see what he needs to see in me and keep me.
But this I do know, ONE of the ways that I know that HE is a keeper, is when he makes me want to be my best self for him and for myself.
@SexyCool,
“ONE of the ways that I know that HE is a keeper, is when he makes me want to be my best self for him and for myself.”
I agree. With that said he should respect/support what you are trying to do with your life.
“there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio.”
^^^^^^ utter and complete bullsh8t…quit teaching folks this crap
@atltx,
I think I agree with Champ on this one. There is a correlation between @ss-to-waist ratio and the amount of BS you will have to deal with. The greater the ratio the more BS she brings. Of course there are exceptions to the rule.
@Humble_One,
“The greater the ratio the more BS she brings.”
*clutching pearls* I am highly offended. Just because I (I mean…other women)may be totin’ a lil somethin’, that doesn’t mean we bring drama.
“Of course there are exceptions to the rule.”
Oh, okay. I’m all better now. (placing Humble_One back on the list of my fav VSBs)
@Ivyette,
“Just because I (I mean…other women)may be totin’ a lil somethin’, that doesn’t mean we bring drama.”
Provided Humble_One hasn’t said it yet, we’re (i..e, VSBs) gonna need some evidence of said ‘a lil somethin’…please provide pix. That is all.
@Humble_One,
The greater the ratio the more BS she brings.
I’ll keep saying it until you heed the call: “Do not make a generality of women from the D”
@atltx,
Thanks folk…I’m glad another VSB was thinking this…
I’ve always gone by the following equation:
(a$$-to-waist ratio x weight) / Pi = x
If x < 4, she's a keeper….
@DG,
You know that your equation says that the answer is irrational. Maybe we shouldn’t go by that… lol. #projectnerdout #doublemeanings
@atltx,
“there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio.”
^^^^^^ utter and complete bullsh8t…quit teaching folks this crap
i was hoping this theme would catch on so all the vsb’s of the world would leave all the big-booty dumb chicks for me
“in truth, a man’s best friend actually welds more power than any other third party.”
Should I be sending my man’s best friend monthly fruit baskets?
@Ivy St.,
“Should I be sending my man’s best friend monthly fruit baskets?”
sure. all gifts are good as long as they don’t involve p*ssy
@The Champ,
and head…
Signs that you should marry her
6) You like her as a person. You can love somebody and not like them. I should be able to enjoy being around her just as much as my boys. I should be able to enjoy being with her with her clothes on more than with her clothes off.
7) She is willing to sacrifice and go out of her way for you. A lot of women expect you to jump through hoops and take a slug for her but she feels that she shouldn’t break a sweat for you
@Humble_One,
6) You like her as a person. You can love somebody and not like them. I should be able to enjoy being around her just as much as my boys. I should be able to enjoy being with her with her clothes on more than with her clothes off.
basically, she passes the v-test
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/the-v-test/
Now that I’ve had my Wheaties and a full nights sleep let me comment. Reasons 0 and 1 are excellent signs that a guy needs to just go ahead and throw in the towel. 2, 3 and 4 are pretty good too though….so if all 5 are present he needs to start figuring out whether she likes princess cut or round brilliant.
and this line is gospel
“there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio”
@klysha,
“there’s no real correlation between ring-worthiness and ass-to-waist ratio”
I wish I could take this line and hit a few men with it. “I don’t want to settle…her a** isn’t as big as I’d like it to be”. What???? Look, gravity is a mofo! All that junk in the trunk gon drop! lol (says the little woman who gets over looked lol)
@RunBabyRun, Hello! (says another little woman who’s a$$ to waist ratio can be easily overlooked)
age has a way of doing a number on those perfect a$$ to waist ratios….marriage is a long term investment….might be worth it to give us women with a lot of growing room a second look when you’re thinking about the long haul.
@klysha, Yep!
My exbf’s dad always said I’m just right for a pre-baby size lol
1. She is genuinely sweet.
From what I’ve seen, really sweet women are hard to find. Not nice chicks. Not kind chicks, but sweet chicks. The kind of women whose whole demeanor is typically like a warm summer breeze, and even their anger is like a cooling thunderstorm. If you find one of thse mythical creatures, you are a fool if you don’t marry her immediately.
@Big Man,
If you find one of thse mythical creatures, you are a fool if you don’t marry her immediately.
or ray j
@Big Man, “She is genuinely sweet”
Seriously? There are plenty of sweet women out there being left on the shelf while ya’ll are out looking for something “better” on facebook or in the club or where-ever-the-heyll-else… Don’t front I’m sure most of the VSBs on here know a few off the top of their heads- smh
@Yeah…SO!?!,
Personally, I married the sweet chick I met.
It didn’t hurt that she had a very acceptable @ss to waist ratio, but the kicker was that I felt she was genuinely sweet.
Now, being married has taught me that any woman can turn evil, even the sweetest ones, but I chalk that up to me being a bastard.
I think women who believe that men are constantly turning down great chicks to deal with fine skanks are either hanging around really trifling ninjas, or they have a skewed idea of what makes a woman “great.” I have too many friends married or about to get married to good chicks to believe the myth that black dudes just won’t marry a good woman.
But that’s just me.
@Big Man,
I been out here in the “candy shop” searching for sweetness for a long time good brother and all I ever see is “sweet tarts”, lol. A women will be sweet, feminine and giddy acting towards a guy that she finds really attractive but other than that, you gonna get that “sour patch” treatment all day… every day, lol.
“Passed enough tests to get the green light on meeting your momma” no longer applies these days?
Side note: Mr. MD20/20? Do they still sell that crazy syrup these days?
@Jamaica,
“Side note: Mr. MD20/20? Do they still sell that crazy syrup these days?”
i hope not. that sh*t has caused more murders and statutory rapes than a perp on law & order svu
@The Champ, Mad Dog the Negro Truth Serum is still available. I saw a Orange Jubilee at the store the other day.
6. You’re living together, you have a child, and you already are sharing your life with her… why not make it legally binding? My former FWB(he was a friend before the benefit) got really mad at me when I pointed this out to him and asked him was he going to wait until they had a son so he could show him that a real man doesn’t marry the mother of his children. That was a mean thing to say, but if it helped give him a little push, than it was worth it. And I’m sure his boys were telling him to go ahead and make an honest woman out of her.
If you feel ten times happier whenever you get to see her…even if yall are not even doing anything, then maybe she’s a keeper because life is just that much fun / better with her
Ugh been too busy today at work to think of a good response… but just off the top of my head (sorry if i’m repeating):
- She has a good heart and is willing to go out of her way to please you and do nice things for you just BECAUSE, i.e. she doesn’t expect you to always do the romancing, nice gestures, etc.
- She genuinely cares about your well being and is always in your corner
- Someone who has actual hobbies and interests outside of your own (Sorry ladies shopping doesn’t count!! lol)
- Someone not afraid to check you when you’re out of pocket
***DISCLAIMER****
I must say that men are NOTORIOUS for having a good thing and not realizing it until its gone. I’m sure women are guilty of this as well but I can’t tell you how many of my girlfriends treated their guys like kings and ended up getting dissed or cheated on at the end. Men can have a great girl, she could have all of the “wifey” qualities but maybe she’s not fun enough, she’s not sexy enough, she’s not edgy enough, she doesn’t mix well with his boughie/hood friends…. So I guess one could say “well then she doesn’t have everything he needs” – You know, I’m not a big Tyler Perry fan or anything but in the movie “Why Did I Get Married” i recall a part where he said something to the effect of how people in relationships could be getting 80% of their needs met but they focuse on the 20% they’re not getting met. So then they find someone who gives them that other 20%, but that’s all they get – they gave up 80% for 20%.
So to the fella out there – if you have a good girl you should appreciate her and not take her for granted. If you have a girl that’s down for you and got your back and doing her thing as a girlfriend, appreciate that and treat her accordingly. Karma’s a bitch and if you let a good one slip away cause you don’t have your MAN game on point, you may not find another who’ll love and take care of your crusty behind like she did lol…..
@BKSweetheart,
“She has a good heart and is willing to go out of her way to please you and do nice things for you just BECAUSE, i.e. she doesn’t expect you to always do the romancing, nice gestures, etc.”
Cosign. Too many women think that all a man needs is some p***y and he is good to go. That may work for the knuckle draggers. If a dude is of any substance he wants to see that you care. I’ve personally ran into too many women that believe that they aren’t suppose to do anything but look cute and open their legs.
She def a keeper, if she’s willing to learn how to do things in the interest of the relationship. I mean really, it’s silly to attempt to find a woman that has ALL the exact qualities
talentwe may think we want. Ol’ girl may not be able to cook like my Grandmaor give head like superhead, but it says a lot if she’s willing to learn. That shows she’s willing to invest in a relationship with you and that she has the capacity to grow. Some women are just stagnant in nature. People forget that it’s important for both people to have some room for growth together and individually. It keeps the magic and ingenuity.@MeteorMan,
i agree.
I think she’s a keeper if she appreciates and not just tolerates your style.
Everyone has a favourite t-shirt,sweater or something that they’ve always had and still rock. Someone who is a keeper will understand the sentimental value and not try to make you get rid of it.
@KayBeezy,
You don’t have to get rid of it, but you definitely don’t need to wear it EVERY day. lol
@KayBeezy,
I (*ASKED PERMISSION FIRST!!!!*) made a quilt.
He had approximately 352 tshirts…(danged promoters) that he valued…
That’s WAY too much closet space…(and a small fortune in hangers…). I sew (yeah…hush) so I made a quilt…back of shirt/front of shirt/arm decals, if any…).
My extra crafty arse ALSO made a collage of concert tickets so that the framed shirt art was reversible…to display the tickets.
*Just admitted to having WAYYYY too much free time…*
I think she’s a keeper if she throws your @ss a surprise birthday party. I might be a little biased though since I’m planning one for my man now.
The sh*t takes work is all I’m sayin…
aw. according to this post i’m pretty darn wifeable. but i’m not married yet sooooo… lol.
Sometimes a man wont marry because he doesn’t feel his sh*t is in order…he may love her and know she is wifey material and just not go down that road for fear or failure, or fear of hurting and disappointing her…
Okay, so I skipped the last couple of posts because…ummm…
*whatever*
I didn’t notice this (before I gave up looking):
When she ANTICIPATES your wants.
My SO doesn’t enjoy a morning “throat exam” *ahem*…he prefers breakfast, then playing “dental tech with my tonsils and his tool…” (yes this is what we call it…) Gotta love a fetish!.
He doesn’t “do” lunch…but because of his self employment, he forgets to eat…(nourishment, not chex)…
He stays up until un~universal hours…with no one to bounce ideas off of…so a brief smile, a bear grip hug, random snacks, encouragement and a glass of water is MUCH appreciated at 3:42 a.m.
And in the same way that a bestfriend can usher in a “potential”…if he has a child (particularly a daughter who hates EVERYBODY…) but loves you EVEN when she’s pissed that she’s sleeping in the guest room…you’re SO already married.
LOL @ myself because I thought #4 said “she’s a great stripper”.
I just read the article and i think that those are all horrible reasons to wife someone….what happen to morals, character family oriented just a thought
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