****before we get started today, we want to thank everybody for their patronage and support, allowing us to win the 2009 black web award for best blog in the history of the universe. riley, springer, and the warthogs are partying in their graves as we speak.

all invites to the celebratory vsb.com bbq will be handled by vsb.com regular big buck…

…who wants us to remind everyone that the first 25 panty-less ladies to rsvp will get a complimentary lapdance from panama free drink of their choice, as well as a link of swine.****

the vsb.com email box gets tons of questions per week, dealing with topics varying from how much should money matter to the do’s and donts of boning a boss, but no subjectinvokes as much mail as the whos, whens, wheres, and whats of courting and dating.

cosmopolitan magazine attempts to tackle this issue with their 17 essential first date tips, a surprisingly thorough guide on the do’s and don’t of a first date. sample tips:

6. A man who makes every conversation lewd from the get-go isn’t trying to seduce you, he’s trying to shock you. Don’t take the bait. Your job isn’t to prove to him that you can be one of the guys; it’s his job to be a gentleman.

7.Any time a friend offers to set you up, make sure to ask her what she thinks you have in common with the guy — besides that you’re both single.

8. Heads up: If he spends even part of the evening responding to work emails on his crackberry, he probably wouldn’t make the most attentive boyfriend.

read the rest

although this particular article is geared towards women and deals primarily with first dates, it addresses a concern relevant to all single people. even though i dont believe that people should carry around concretized dating rulebooks in their heads, complete with hawking-esque equations equating pi to the perfect ass-to-waist ratio and complex formulas detailing the minimum number of prepositional phrases a man must incorporate per paragraph if he wants a chance to beat both you and your roommate later that night, it doesnt hurt to have a few salient points to always consider. dating is an art, not a science, but it still helps to know where the margins are and when to put your wang on a cheek and scream “yahtzee”!!! break out your dry erase markers

so, people of vsb.com, to help us all navigate through the mucky lagoon between the 8th wonder’s legs of meeting, greeting, and courting, what dating do’s and dont’s would you offer for men and women alike?

—the champ