“hey champ…”

the anonymous questioner from platonic shmetonic asked yesterday in an email,

“…why do all the bad boys and urban models stripper-types always seem to get all the spoils? is there any hope for the good guy and the nice girl? are we forever doomed??”

i wanted to write back “of course not“, but, in reality, when every man with a voicebox wants a stripper, every black women wants a thug, and even the churchgoingest “baddest chick in the game” marries a former drug dealer, that would have been an outright lie.

“good” guys and “nice” girls have become the proverbial red-headed retarded step children of american culture, dropped and dismissed, disgraced and defeated, discarded and defrocked . regardless of where you look, there’s concrete proof that they also consistently get the short end of the romantic stick. it’s always been true, and will probably always continue to be. these facts are inescapable, like anton chigurh or a timely case of public transit bubble guts, right?

right?

wait…right?

wrong.

other than the greeting card, theres no bigger ongoing scam in american culture than the idea that truly good guys and girls finish “last” romantically.

i have myriad facts to prove my claim, but for the sake of time and space, i’ll only dive into one

a faulty definition of “first”

we have to re-examine this definition of “first”, because if all the good people are finishing last, someone has to be “first”, right? well, if you define “first” as “getting more attention from the opposite sex, and appearing to have more dates and/or prospects“, then yes, maybe those with a bit more of an edge, a bit more swagger, a bit more potential danger, and a bit more superficial sex appeal finish “first” more often.

thing is, if bagging more chicks or scamming more dudes into taking you to ihop is your definition of “first”, then maybe you’re really not all that “good” of a person anyway!!

but, if by finishing “first” you mean “having more success finding sincere and loving and compatible mates, and sustaining positive romantic relationships“, then i couldn’t stress “no” strong enough. everybody, regardless of their status and disposition, has difficulty finding this, and i’d even argue that the “not-good” guys and urban models bad girls have the most difficulty, because of the never-ending game and ubiquitous trust issues that come along with that territory and leave them perpetually bitter and jaded.

maybe they won’t win the first couple of sprints, but in the marathon of life, i’ll put my money on the good guy and the nice girl to finish “first”. maybe that trophy at the end won’t be exactly what they desired, but it aint all about the “trophy” though, is it?

—the champ