while the replies generated from monday’s ‘precious’ post were predictably split into “i saw it and i’m still verklempt” and “you’d have to drag me to the theater with eight horses and staple my eyelids open” camps, everyone agreed that its not the type of movie that’s conducive to repeated viewings.
thing is, ‘precious’ isn’t alone in its utter unrewatchability. while life gives us many things we can watch over and over again (apatow flicks, the evil eye baby, drunk snizzles reciting biggie lyrics, etc) without fatigue, there’s some sh*t we’ve all willingly seen that require absolutely no need whatsoever for repeated viewings, things that we’d probably be better off if we could unsee forever.
1. the r.kelly sex tape
after remembering that each of my three college teammates who owned this tape have been incarcerated at some point since then, i’m now convinced that “seeing how long someone can sit and watch this until getting up” should replace the myers-briggs as the go to personality profile test.
2. anything starring hilary swank
at this point, any theater showing one of her movies should come equipped with shower stalls so that moviegoers can get naked and cry in them when its over
3. childbirth
a process that cements the idea that pessimistic men aren’t built for relationships. put it this way: only a true optimist would willingly continue to eat p*ssy after witnessing that.
4. ‘the passion of the christ’
along with bad tipping, non-social crack smoking, and sending me tExT mEsSaGeS lIkE tHiS, owning the passion of the christ on dvd is a definite unconditional deal-breaker.
why? well something has to be seriously off with a person who thinks to themselves “hmmm. it’s been a stressful day today. maybe i’ll pop in a dvd after dinner to help wind down. ‘anchorman’ is always cool, but i think i’m in the mood to watch three consecutive hours of subtitled torture, gore, and bloody agony in high definition”
5. ‘rosewood’ and ‘three little girls’
“one-time only” viewing requirement for anybody who has gone their entire lives without wanting to kill a white person, and would like to keep that streak going
6. sammy sosa’s “new” face
“one-time only” viewing requirement for anybody who has gone their entire lives without wanting to kill a white person, and would like to keep that streak going
7. the evil device used for endoscopies.
- wait, ummm, you’re putting that where again?
8. the storage room of any supermarket
lets just say that anyone who’s struggling to lose weight would reach their goals much easier if they toured the basement at walmart. seriously, you’ll see more mystery meat, one-eyed roaches, and and blue tomatoes than in the lake outside of chernobyl
9. a female pornstar in person (this also applies to seeing a stripper in daylight doing normal non-stripper things)
a couple years ago i met cherokee d’ass in a shoe store in pittsburgh. apparently she was in town promoting her calender.
she was actually much smaller and un-rough looking than i assumed she would be, but whenever i see her “working” now i can’t help thinking about the “so, how many times have you j*rked off while thinking about me” face she was wearing when i shook her hand
10. nas in concert (actually, pretty much every hip-hop act other than the roots and busta rhymes)
for whatever reason, hip-hop usually just doesn’t translate well live in concert. and, while i love nas to death, you’d have to threaten to kill me if you want me to go to one of his shows.
people of vsb.com, i’m curious: what have you willingly seen that you wish to never, ever, ever, ever see again?
—the champ
Related posts:
- the vsb do’s and dont’s of making a sex tape
- four reasons why i won’t watch precious
- Guilty Until Proven Innocent: Hofstra, Lies, and Videotape
- four completely practical and non-racist reasons why i never have and most likely never will date a white woman
- ole’ faithful: the people, places, and things that never disappoint us
{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }
2 Girls, 1 Cup. ‘Nuff said.
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bittersweet's baby {November 19th, 2009 at 2:39 am}
@cypher,
Piece it together people…
Luckily, my
distrusting NYer sensibilitiesahh-mazing intellect suggested that no, I didn’t suddenly “have” to see this random video I’d never heard of, regardless of how insistent my friend was. Afterall, I never mentioned an overt desire to see two girls doin anything nasty together. And if I ever did, it woulda been nasteee, not nasty!Reply
Luvvie {November 19th, 2009 at 3:00 am}
@cypher,
Whats 2 girls, 1 cup?
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Liz {November 19th, 2009 at 3:16 am}
@Luvvie, LOLOL don’t do it Luvvie!!!!
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RedPlum {November 19th, 2009 at 9:41 am}
@Liz,
My momma always said a “hard head makes a soft behind”!! But noooo i have to be as curious as a cat!!!! Now my stomach hurts and i dont feel like eating breakfast after seeing that!!
lol
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Reecie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:35 pm}
@RedPlum, yeah as soon as someone told me the premise and I watched a few reaction videos on youtube, I knew Iwas better off not seeing it.
thismayconcernyou {November 19th, 2009 at 3:18 am}
@Luvvie,
Yeah, what Liz said… do NOT google that…
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 7:44 am}
@Luvvie, Google that sh*t….you will enjoy it!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 11:51 am}
@Luvvie,
Yeah, so um, I got something to Google at home. With caution, of course. With caution.
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm}
@Cheekie,
You WILL regret it.
NSFL (not safe for life)
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:20 pm}
@V Renee,
NSFL (not safe for life)
LOL
Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 12:39 pm}
@Cheekie and Luvvie,
Bless your nice entourage that you don’t know what this video is and for the love of brown baby Jesus,DO NOT GOOGLE IT. I promise you, it is not worth it. at all.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:50 pm}
@Sula,
I know I will curse myself for being so dayum nosy. You know how curiosity killed the cat? Well, curiosity is gonna scar the Cheekie I know for sure. It does sound familiar but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it. I know, I know, I shouldn’t.
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm}
@Luvvie,
Girls eating shet and vomit…with a cup…and a delightful musical selection. It’s nasty. If you’ve perused stuff like rotten.com you’ve seen worse.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 3:00 pm}
@Me fail english?, “Girls eating shet and vomit…with a cup…and a delightful musical selection. It’s nasty. If you’ve perused stuff like rotten.com you’ve seen worse.”
I’ve heard the description of the site before .. . but seeing it written made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. The fact that there is a music selection is kinda funny tho.
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Monk {November 19th, 2009 at 3:05 am}
@cypher,
This Is The Ultimate “Un-See” Event. Well that in and of itself and then proceeding to watch it with your parents to see their reaction.
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 2:48 pm}
@Monk, I had to come out of [lurking] and reply…
you sat and watched this with your parents?? How bad was the reaction?
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 3:57 pm}
@Kaye,
welcome and sh*t
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:10 pm}
@Kaye,
I thought your VSB monker was “Kanye” for a second. I was gonna ask you to interrupt my comment, and include that you’ll let me finish.
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:51 am}
@cypher,
WHY DIDN’T I HEED THE WARNINGS?
I JUST GOOGLE’D THAT NASTY ISH AND CLICKED IT OFF AFTER THE, UMMM, DEED. I STARTED DRY HEAVING.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 10:45 am}
@V.E.G., lol sometimes i wonder why folks do it to themselves.
this whole post seems like an online masochistic’s jerkfest. lol. today might unearth some of the strangest things (like 2girls, 1cup) and people who are vehement about telling folks to not see stuff will undoubtedly send people to go see these things.
basically, i love popeyes.
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HabitualLineCrossa {November 19th, 2009 at 10:50 am}
@V.E.G., you shoulda started off with 2 girls 1 finger LOL!!!
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:30 am}
@HabitualLineCrossa,
wait, whats that?
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HabitualLineCrossa {November 19th, 2009 at 12:02 pm}
@The Champ, now outta respect for this site and everyone here…I’ll ask first, should add that link on here?
The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:22 pm}
just give a brief description
HabitualLineCrossa {November 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm}
@The Champ, now thats just denying you and and everyone else that hasn’t seen it the ability to view it for yourselves.
NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 1:13 pm}
@HabitualLineCrossa, or even 1 guy and 1 horse…lmao!!!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:12 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
“or even 1 guy and 1 horse…lmao!!!”
UGH.
Please tell me that is just that old episode of Jerry Springer where a man wanted to marry a horse and not a video of an ACTUAL ACT WITH A HORSE. *Montgomery Burns shudder*
NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 10:28 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free, It is a straight up vid with a dude getting done in by a horse..the guy ended up dying later on due the anal tearing that was so severe…SMH…i believe this happened in Washington state…
Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:13 am}
@cypher,
Hands down one of the nastiest, nastiest things I’ve seen to date. From now on, if there is a whole selection of YouTube videos just showing people’s reaction to a video- I am NOT watching the video in question. Dam!n you BME Olympics!!!
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm}
@Wanjiru, Co-sign!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 10:43 am}
@cypher, Luckily I have kept away from this site to date. I’m curious but I don’t wanna scar myself.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 10:45 am}
@IVR, smart smart man.
as opposed to VEG. see her comment above. lol.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 10:51 am}
@IVR,
I heard about it plenty…but I refuse to watch it.
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Caballeroso {November 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am}
@cypher,
Adding it to my list of things to Google (from home, not work). Can’t be that bad, besides, I have a fairly high tolerance.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am}
@Caballeroso,
good luck. and good night
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 12:18 pm}
@The Champ,
basically.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 12:42 pm}
@Caballeroso,
DO.NOT.DO.IT…. I repeat do not!
I really trusted my ability to NOT be repulsed by things easily… but really, it is THAT disgusting.
But hey, you’ll have something to un-see if you venture.
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 1:14 pm}
@Caballeroso, Let us know how that turns out for you!
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 2:11 pm}
@Caballeroso,
“It can’t be that bad”…
…Famous last words.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:29 am}
@cypher,
welcome and sh*t, and thanks for reminding everyone of one of the worst things to ever happen in human history
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Legendary Dash {November 19th, 2009 at 12:30 pm}
@cypher,
1 guy, 1 screwdriver is much worse…much, much worse.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:08 pm}
@Legendary Dash,
yuck. I never even heard of this until you said smthg. Then I googled and just read the description.
It’s just like that episode of South Park when Butters (or was it Kenny) was doing all this grossout shet to be popular. Ppl like this piss me off!
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 1:16 pm}
@Legendary Dash, do i even want to know about that??? SMH
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 2:52 pm}
@Legendary Dash, I also co-sign this….it was SOOOOOOO nasty. Not sure why I watched this one either….
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Nevermind.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 10:46 am}
@Kit (Keep It Trill), thanks for sharing, bub.
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i saw nas in concert and it was definitely one of the worst live performances id ever witnessed. granted, it didnt help that i was in a sea of mostly 2520 college students at pitt’s field house, but thats besides the point.
other things i have willingly seen that you wish to never, ever, ever, ever see again:
the champ dancing. its entertaining for only a moment. then you just feel guilty for witnessing such travesty. *smh*
2012. worst. movie. ever. id rather watched corn grow in one of many fields in nebraska than experience the cgi of that stupid movie.
2 girls 1 cup. i didnt know anything about the vid but ppl kept saying “you just gotta see it.” i figured it couldnt be that bad. FALSE. if i couldve carved out that memory from my hippocampus so that it never got consolidated in my mind, i wouldve. just the mere recollection is making me queasy… ugghhh
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insomN.I.A. {November 19th, 2009 at 1:34 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
yeah, I got got the same way with 2g1c. People were talking about it on FB, and my FB buddy wouldn’t tell me what it was, but just kept saying I have to see it. Peer pressure is a bit@h!! Has to be the worst thing I’ve seen this decade.
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 2:26 am}
@insomN.I.A.,
lol fa real!! ppl were mad secretive about 2g1c. and im too nosy to NOT check it out. the suspense was killing me. then the visual kilt me dead on impact. *smh*
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charli skipper {November 19th, 2009 at 1:58 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
i thank God everyday that i didn’t succumb to the 2 girls 1 cup peer pressure. i’m still mad at them for making me realize we are in the last days, though. thats some end times sh*t, yall.
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NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox.. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:25 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean, Yea i will have to agree ith you on the 2 girls one cup vid. I protested seeing that video but my wife somehow tricked me and my friend into watching (talk about pissed)..The funny thing about that is she threw up after she watched..but i dont think seeing that vid or any vid like that (i.e. “solo vampire”…”farmington factory” or any pain championship vids look them up if u dare!!) should be seen by human eyes unless it is used by C.I.A. in some kind of torture chamber!!
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 2:29 am}
@NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..,
damn you for daring me to look up those vids!!!!! im too curious NOT to. hopefully i will go to bed and then wake up and have forgotten you mentioned them. short-term memory fail me NOW!!
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 2:44 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean, Probably not…but the only one out of the actual titles I listed that is too much for any one person to watch is the Solo Vampire..(think about the title and imagine what it could be about!!) I wish I could take that piece of my brain that has those images engraved on it out and flush it down d@mn toliet!! But yea I dare anyone to look at that all the way through!! I couldn’t even make it passed 10 seconds..
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 3:40 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free, “the Solo Vampire..(think about the title and imagine what it could be about!!) ”
Can’t . . .please explain.
NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 10:36 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free, Solo Vampire…Think about it what do vampires love…blood…and who out of males and females drip blood on a monthly basis??? So with those two facts put out there u can only imagine the horror that was shown on that vid!!! I never knew people would/could get off on eating their own monthly juices!!!!
**threw up a lil bit in my mouth**
Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:07 am}
@NiazDad, enjoying the sandbox..,
Why oh why oh why?!! I saw 7 seconds of BEM Olympics and I am a broken shell of my former self. Seriously, seriously, seriously SICK!!!! Firecrackers? Self c.ir.cumcision? Really? Hauu-uu!!!
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 7:55 am}
@Wanjiru, Yea there is some horrible videos on the internet. I remember something my sister sent me with this one dude tying up his b@llz and then cutting them off…WTF…or when the guy stuck a glass bottle up his @ss and guess what happens next……..wait for it…….IT BROKE…yea so to put it simple..broken glass + @ss flesh = glass, blood and $hit everywhere!!!! No one ever needs to see that or anything like that again!!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 10:53 am}
@NiazDad, almost home free, I laughed at this at first . . . then I got sad. Good thing I’m not THAT curious.
CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 2:16 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
Yeah, my cousin showed me the video of the guy tying up his balls and… Anyway, I got revenge by showing him 2g1c. Me and my cousin don’t talk anymore.
Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 2:59 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
I saw that vid w/the glass….ugh/yuck…not sure why I watched that either. smh
Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:32 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
“the champ dancing. its entertaining for only a moment. then you just feel guilty for witnessing such travesty. *smh*”
What you don’t like his basketball moves that he uses on the dance floor?!? I’m just waiting for the day he pulls back and tries to shoot a jumper. LOL! You must admit though, it gets better with each long island.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 10:48 am}
@Ivy St., I’m just waiting for the day he pulls back and tries to shoot a jumper
that’s been a board-certified dance move in Atlanta since 1992.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:38 am}
@Ivy St.,
What you don’t like his basketball moves that he uses on the dance floor?!? I’m just waiting for the day he pulls back and tries to shoot a jumper. LOL! You must admit though, it gets better with each long island.
its tough shooting jumpers with a rum and cokes and both hands and three people hanging off of deez
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:13 pm}
@The Champ,
its tough shooting jumpers with a rum and cokes and both hands and three people hanging off of deez .
This may be your funniest “deez” joke. Not that that’s saying much. But still, kudos.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:00 pm}
@V Renee,
thanks and sh*t. that made my day
The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 12:23 pm}
@Ivy St.,
lmao the dancing doesnt get “better”, per se, it just gets more hilarious with each long island. then its just sad lol.
the inebriated Champikins freestyling is hands down the most fun experience tho…
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:55 pm}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
Yeah he always starts it off with ” Yo I’m DY, DY come through..” When he sees we are all looking and laughing, he quickly stops himself.
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 4:37 pm}
@Ivy St.,
LMAO!!!!!!! yeah anytime you hear Champikins do the “yo, yo, yo” its a wrap.
Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 10:59 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean, i can do y’all one better than a Nas live performance. how about a Nas interview. he comes off as a total ignoramus. it makes you wonder how in the hell he could pen some of the best verses ever written in hiphop – on his first album, let’s face it most of you ninjas can’t recite any other Nas verses from anything aside from possibly Made You Look and/or One Mic – but remind of one of them drunk vietnam vets who used to block my entryway into my apartment complex.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:40 am}
@Panama Jackson,
would this qualify as a **shots fired**?
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm}
@The Champ, works as a shots fired for me.
nas stans…where you at? buh-ring it.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:27 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
You just mad Nas is on a upper echelon (pronunced EK-uh-lon).
TPeezy {November 19th, 2009 at 3:27 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
Agreed. I love Nas, but after really listening to some of his stuff he starts to remind me of that dumb ninja from freshman political science that the whole class would role their eyes at when he raised his hand
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:34 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
the champ dancing. its entertaining for only a moment. then you just feel guilty for witnessing such travesty. *smh*
entertain deez
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Miss Patterson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
“the champ dancing. its entertaining for only a moment. then you just feel guilty for witnessing such travesty.”
D@mn my swine flu. I’m so sorry I missed this. It sounds camcorder worthy. Still I’ll free to jump the bandwagon and clown him like I was actually there
I love you guys, keep up the laughter.
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Ivy st. {November 19th, 2009 at 11:54 am}
@Miss Patterson,
There is always next “First Friday.”
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 12:25 pm}
@Miss Patterson,
with the pgh VSB crew you will never be under-entertained. theres fun for everyone!!!
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:31 pm}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean, a party ain’t a party unless i run thru it.
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You know…I borrowed the Passion from my cousin, and couldn’t even sit through the whole thing…and funny thing is, she won’t take that sh*t back.
Now I know why guys run and Reh Dogg sings…
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Selah {November 19th, 2009 at 2:11 am}
@chaoticdiva,
NOT REH DOGG! hahahaha. iCurse you for reminding me of him and his misunderstanding of his tears. lmao.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 9:56 am}
@chaoticdiva,
“Why must I cry, why must I cry, why?!?!?”
LMAO!!!!! I may have to revisit that one. That video has me DYING!!!
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:01 am}
@chaoticdiva, let’s not hate on reh dogg. “why must i cry” is hands down one of the reasons i’m glad the internet exists.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:23 am}
@chaoticdiva, “Now I know why guys run and Reh Dogg sings…”
Just youtubed this . . . HILARIOUS! Must forward to everyone.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:41 am}
@chaoticdiva,
who is this reh dogg character?
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm}
@The Champ, only the best rapper alive, including jay, lil wayne, and eli porter.
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 2:57 pm}
@The Champ,
This is Reh Dogg.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:21 pm}
@chaoticdiva,
HAHAH@ Reh Dog. I never knew his name, I just knew he was awesome. Up there with the greats like “How can you slap?!” and those Russian game show couples.
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 10:48 pm}
@chaoticdiva, Reh Dog is the shit…..
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“district 9″–um….everyone i’ve talked to thinks it’s awesome. but…seriously? i ain’t got no time for no big a*s pseudo-aliens talking a bunch of loud mess on a huge screen. i went with a date so he was my ride and i couldn’t escape. i just stayed in the lobby at the snack bar talking to passersby for like 20 minutes.
beyonce and lady gaga’s new video–i’m a beyonce fan. and i actually liked the video okay. but i really don’t need to sit through the whole thing ever again in my life. actually, i feel that way about most current music videos so that just may be old age creepin up.
i can only watch any particular pron once. i don’t mind watchin some with the guy, but i cannot be looking at the same people do the same stuff more than once. just makes me feel like some kind of extra sneaky, what-am-i-doing-with-my-life a*s, serial killeresque voyeur. you’re not gonna have me all out in public talking about, “you know what? this reminds me of when dee and jenna….” ah ah.for pete’s sake, go buy something new, honey.
you’re right about hilary swank movies. i watched that one with morgan freeman and clint eastwood where she was a boxer and it just made me want to shave my head and drop out of college. i mean, really, what the hell? that film brought nothing but sorrow into my life.
oh. and the monique show. if you’ve seen it, then this should be self explanatory.
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, baby. Baby? Baybay!” sit your big mama beulah a*s down.
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charli skipper {November 19th, 2009 at 2:00 am}
@charli skipper,
my posts are always so long. i need a job. just up at night on the internet all willynilly while my grown up friends rest up for work….i think this is how it starts. yeah, this is how it starts.
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Monk {November 19th, 2009 at 3:11 am}
@charli skipper,
This was hilarious to me for some reason. I’m going to bed. Ha!
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bittersweet's baby {November 19th, 2009 at 3:28 am}
@charli skipper,
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Lili {November 19th, 2009 at 2:08 am}
@charli skipper,
You mean you literally left your date to finish viewing the film alone and waited outside until it was done?
LOL
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Selah {November 19th, 2009 at 2:12 am}
@charli skipper,
co-sign on District 9. I went with 2 dudes and spent the whole time sending them texts (as i sat next to them) to let them know that this shite sucks!!!. …. didn’t help. they wanted to see the whole thing. lol
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 2:32 am}
@charli skipper,
i didnt like the vid. simply becuz la gaga was in it. she completely ruined the song for me. and i like lg! there was NO reason she needed to be part of the vid, tho. none. her presence on the song was so outta place and awkward. bey hurt my feelings with that one.
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Luvvie {November 19th, 2009 at 3:02 am}
@charli skipper,
“you’re right about hilary swank movies. i watched that one with morgan freeman and clint eastwood where she was a boxer and it just made me want to shave my head and drop out of college. i mean, really, what the hell? that film brought nothing but sorrow into my life.”
LMAO at ALL of that! Hilary Swank and her rabbit teef depress my lifespace. I avoid her movies like Jim Jones avoids baths.
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Stank-0 {November 19th, 2009 at 10:27 am}
@charli skipper,
I’m a sci-fi nerd and District 9 was great. That is all.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:04 am}
@charli skipper, oh. and the monique show. if you’ve seen it, then this should be self explanatory.
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, baby. Baby? Baybay!” sit your big mama beulah a*s down.
monique doesnt know it, but her show is the inspiration for a post i think i might do nex week. thing is, i hate monique in general so its almost not fair.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:44 am}
@charli skipper,
i can only watch any particular pron once. i don’t mind watchin some with the guy, but i cannot be looking at the same people do the same stuff more than once. just makes me feel like some kind of extra sneaky, what-am-i-doing-with-my-life a*s, serial killeresque voyeur. you’re not gonna have me all out in public talking about, “you know what? this reminds me of when dee and jenna….” ah ah.for pete’s sake, go buy something new, honey.
you know what, p*rn scenes do have a certain shelf life. stuff does get remarkably less interesting after viewing it more than once
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 11:56 am}
@charli skipper,
“beyonce and lady gaga’s new video”
It’s an aiight video, but Lady Gaga’s eyes look weird as HELL in that video. Something about them don’t sit right. Coked-out look? Weed look? I don’t know, but her eyes look like death boiled over. She needs to put those wonky shades back on and call it a d-a-y.
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Reecie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:45 pm}
@charli skipper, “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, baby. Baby? Baybay!” sit your big mama beulah a*s down.
this had me soooo weak. I could hear her voice thats why. Yes, I’ve watched her show. *hangs head*
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1. “seeing how long someone can sit and watch this until getting up” should replace the myers-briggs as the go to personality profile test.
LOL One of the funniest and truest things you’ve written.
2. Swank has to do those movies to keep getting her nods; she’s pretty much the only actress guaranteed an Oscar nomination when her films are released. There’s a method to her
films’sadness.6. Oh Sammy. Who told you that white is right?
9. You met Cherokee???! Thaaaaaaaaaat’s so random. LOL @ how awkward it must have been to shake her hand…*
10. I hear you on that. The Roots are AMAZING live- one of my best concert experiences ever. N.E.R.D. is another great live hip-hop act.
*I’m slightly perturbed that I lit up when you said that you met her. Slightly.
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charli skipper {November 19th, 2009 at 2:03 am}
@Lili,
sammy sosa needs his a*s beat. or, like my momma says, “he need to go to jail.” lol
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Lili {November 19th, 2009 at 2:10 am}
@charli skipper,
I was in total disbelief when I saw that. The sad thing is his wife co-signed that foolishness (if she cared or was disturbed, she would have stopped him from making an a$$ of himself).
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:05 am}
@Lili, its like he got the reverse Ross at the spray on tanning salon.
or somebody literally beat the black off of him.
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
LMAO!! “somebody literally beat the black off of him.”
Lili {November 19th, 2009 at 5:13 am}
@Lili,
I had to look at that picture of Sammy again before I hit the hay.
Just damn.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:48 am}
@Lili,
9. You met Cherokee???! Thaaaaaaaaaat’s so random. LOL @ how awkward it must have been to shake her hand…*
it was quite underwhelming, actually (although, admittedly, i have no idea what i was expecting, lol)
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:15 pm}
@The Champ,
I bet you got “excited” though. If you know what I mean. Wink Wink.
And no I will not excite deez. lol
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:58 am}
@Lili, “6. Oh Sammy. Who told you that white is right? ”
That man is making us afro latinos look bad.
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Miss Patterson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:08 pm}
@Lili, I *JUST* realized that the photo above was Sammy Sosa. What the hell? And why?
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ok, first off, i wish i never knew 2 girls 1 cup existed. watching bscott’s reaction video (paw paw break) was more than enough. videos like that make me wish God would just make it do what it do.
-reh dogg.
-many of the things i googled..then google imaged, including, but not limited to: circumcision (i know), dogs with big teeth, meth teeth…i hate google image.
throw up, omg, i hate throw up. my boy started throwing up at our other boy’s wedding, and i had to walk AWAY. i got him help though.
koala shutting down. that’s all i got for now..
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overit {November 19th, 2009 at 2:33 am}
@overit, omg…google image+keloids=i’m tryna sleep champ, THANKS FOR NOTHING!
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 2:46 am}
@overit, LMAO!!!!! sorry for your troubles!!!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:08 pm}
@overit,
I’ve googled imaged some effed up mess in my lifetime too. There’s some procedure out there for open wounds where they put maggots inside the wound. For what I don’t know…to eat the infection? Anyway, it’s sick as hell and I don’t even know the exact phrasing for it and I don’t want to put it because that would mean actively looking for it, which is insane. I forgot how I even found it…probably researching something for school. Anyhow it led to that hot mess and I’m scarred for heebiejeebie life. Damn curiosity…
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:10 pm}
@Cheekie,
This reminds me of something similar. I once got emailed a video of a woman who had supposedly tried on a bra and got infested by parasites. The video was of a doctor pulling larvae, which had burrowed through her mammary glands up through her epidermis, out of her breasts with tweezers.
After seeing that, my girl checked her breasts in the mirror for twenty minutes… and for 3 solid months, I was not interested in a single pair of breasts.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:05 pm}
@CleverScreenName,
Gah!!!
I didn’t even see it and I’m already like, “My EYES, MY EYES!!!”
NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 7:59 am}
@overit, Relly Meth Teeth??? never would have ever thought to google that…I guess google is one of those necessary evils!!!
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 10:14 am}
@overit,
“meth teeth”
Sounds like an oxymoron
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:14 pm}
@Ivy St.,
*snicker*
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:50 am}
@overit,
the dogs with big teeth cracks me the hell up every time i see it. it never gets old
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overit {November 19th, 2009 at 7:07 pm}
@The Champ, LMAO, me too. you know i found that pic when i google imaged albino roaches, thanks to you all.
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Miss Patterson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:00 pm}
@overit, don’t forget to google image “crack babies”. that photo that comes up with that brown skinned guy with an obvious condition of some sort makes me want to crawl under my covers. my friend used it as his fb profile pic for the longest, i almost blocked him.
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LOL@1. the r.kelly s3x tape after remembering that each of my three college teammates who owned this tape have been incarcerated at some point
Wow…that sh*t is too funny…but yea i don’t it would be normal to just sit there and watch the “piped piper” cover that poor child with his electrolyte filled p1ss…SMH at the whole thing…
I will have to defend Childbirth. I was in the room when my daughter was born and when i mean i was in there i mean i was holding my wife’s leg up and sitting front row center stage to the whole performance. But even with all the nasty and wierd looking fluids that came out of my wife’s cooch..i would gladly sit in the same spot when we had another child. There is nothing like it!
Yea the meeting a female p0rnstar in person would be rather akward. What would you say?? Hey i remember in “Insert Corny P0rn title here” when Mr. Markus spewed his protien shake over your face and u blew bubles with it??? SMH…GTFOH…WTF… or something like i spend many lonely night with you…ewwwwwww
Here is one i thought of…
The Ring 2 or any M. Night Shyamalan movies…Those movies took precious time of my life i can never get back!! Fmylife…
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:38 am}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
“M. Night Shyamalan movies.”
Now hold up, “Sixth Sense” was a good movie. How long did it take you to realize the guy was dead?
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:07 am}
@Ivy St., but unbreakable on the other hand was the f*ckin stupidest sh*t ive ever seen in my life.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:52 am}
@Panama Jackson,
lol, you know thats one of my favorite movies? not top 10, but definitely like top 30
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luvtheshoes {November 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
See now I like Unbreakable, too. I loved the whole archenemy thing. Now The Village was some bullsh!t.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:17 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
I only saw Unbreakable once, but really liked it. I also somewhat forgot about it…which is not really a good thing. Only thing I remember is the “big reveal”. lol
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:34 pm}
@Cheekie, Only thing I remember is the “big reveal”. lol
if i had a dollar for every time i heard this one…
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:53 pm}
@Panama,
“if i had a dollar for every time i heard this one…”
You’d owe the IRS?
Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 1:03 pm}
@Cheekie, i’d owe the IRS Jermaine Dupri money.
lol.
NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 11:46 am}
@Ivy St., Well okay that movie makes the cut. And yes it took me till the end of the movie to figure out he was dead himself… But “The Village” was a straight up horrible movie all around…and the other one with the aliens being scared of water…come on give me a break!!!
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am}
@Ivy St.,
Now hold up, “Sixth Sense” was a good movie. How long did it take you to realize the guy was dead?
my dad swears he knew from the beginning. he also swears that barack obama is our 3rd cousin.
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Seriously, Champ? I just bout cussed when I came on the site and the FIRST thing I saw was Sammy’s skim milk face. Sammy Sosa’s skin looks like used relaxer when they combing it thru dirty hair
It’s surely gonna hunt my hopes and dreams 2nite. Remember, u ain’t sh*t for that.
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Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:16 am}
@Luvvie,
Sammy Sosa’s skin looks like used relaxer when they combing it thru dirty hair
LOL! Now that you mention it, his complexion just look exactly like that!
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm}
@Wanjiru,
lol. That or soy milk.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 11:56 am}
@Luvvie,
thanks and sh*t. its a goal of mine to influence all the vss’s dreams
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pm}
@Luvvie,
LMFAO @ skim milk face.
Seriously, the color of his skin is a perplexing looking color. Like, Crayola should make a special limited edition crayon that is the same color as his skin and name it “Sosa Sunrise” or some sh*t.
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 12:58 pm}
@Cheekie,
*i can’t breathe*!! Sosa Sunrise!!! iCan’t!!
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 pm}
@Cheekie,
smh. That must be the color of sunrise in 2012.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:39 pm}
@Me fail english?,
LOL!
Like Sammy Sosa’s color is the sunrise in “The Road”.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm}
@Cheekie,
YES!
And talk about some depressing ish you dont wanna see! Is that the one where the Dad is tryna keep his son alive?
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 2:43 pm}
“Is that the one where the Dad is tryna keep his son alive?”
Yup. My coworker is lending me the book. Said it is probably the scariest book she’s read in a while. It’s post-apocalyptic.
Good post all around. Dude that Sammy Sosa picture is S-c-a-r-y-! It’s like he made a conscious decision to replace Michael Jackson as the most color struck black person this century.
And true hip=hop heads need to do themselves a favor and go see KRS-One in concert. The same for all rap artists. The most disappointing rap concert I went to was the Wu-Tang Clan right after Wu-tang forever came out. They were at WSSU’s homecoming and man did it succkk! SGA was talking about getting some of their money back b/c half the bustas didn’t even show up. Tribe called Quest was a solid show though
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 10:11 am}
@Jaybilal,
The best rap concert I’ve been to was a Busta Rhymes concert. He came to Temple my freshman year. He is so funny.
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Deviant {November 19th, 2009 at 11:03 am}
@Jaybilal,
I’ve heard KRS, De LA and Tribe do good shows.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:15 pm}
@Deviant,
De La does a GREAT show…I’ve seen them twice.
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm}
@Deviant,
I once waited around at a crowded house of blues in Anaheim for over 2 hours because KRS was late. He did this 3 minute Freestyle mic/sound check where he clowned a guy in the audience and said that he saves the diamonds for his wife… Needless to say, once he got there, no one was even upset about the wait anymore. Best Hip-Hop Show I’ve been to. Kweli and Jean Grae are good together, too.
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:26 pm}
@CleverScreenName,
Oh, and Jurassic 5. I saw them bacc in ‘98 or ‘99 and they were just… so-so. But when I saw them again in 2003, it was great. 2 djs and 5 mcs on stage, no confusion, well-organized set list, Chali Tuna and Mark7 were great… Even Alchemist got down with his portable turntable.
It helped that it was 2003, right after the invasion of Iraq, a little before the Dixie Chicks did it… and they started the concert off with that song that starts “I’m never hesitant to say F**k the president!”… In Orange County, CA… At UC Irvine. I was pleased.
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Monk {November 19th, 2009 at 11:04 am}
@Jaybilal,
Co-sign on KRS knowing how to put on a great show. I’d also add L.L. to that list No hype man, dancers, or entourage needed. Just the emcee and the D.J..
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:00 pm}
@Jaybilal,
The most disappointing rap concert I went to was the Wu-Tang Clan right after Wu-tang forever came out.
yeah, i’m a wu stan, but i can’t imagine going to a wu-concert with the entire clan there and hearing them all scream over each other on everyone’s verses
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Miss Patterson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm}
@The Champ, it’s actually not that bad. I didn’t see them on the stage at one time, but in separate groups/sets at the same concert. It was pretty dope actually. But I might be biased because Method Man looked really good that day.
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:17 pm}
@Miss Patterson,
Method Man looks good all the time. Despite the rumors surrounding his ummm extracurricular activities.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:05 pm}
@Jaybilal,
Kanye’s also a good show. Then again, I saw a good Nas concert. He had alot of energy…which was weird since its Nas. Worst show ever had to be Fabolous. He was so friendly and cool but he had an entourage of like 38 imaginary playas tryna bag anything in a skirt…FROM THE STAGE. He couldn’t even move without trippin over his lame ass posse. smh
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pm}
@Me fail english?,
He was so friendly and cool but he had an entourage of like 38 imaginary playas tryna bag anything in a skirt…FROM THE STAGE .
::Snickering::
Let me guess, there was a whole host of bops, that bopped up on the stage. And were ready to go, just off of the strength that they were cool with Fabo. Sh*t if I didn’t even know Fabo and was a dude, I would’ve snuck on stage and tried to bag a few my d@mn self. With that many ninjas on stage, no one knows who belongs to who. LOL
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:03 pm}
@V Renee,
Honestly, we shouldve just all rushed the damn stage and called it a regular club night. That would’ve made for a better show than Fab struggling to keep his footing among the hoodrats
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 5:51 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Kanye’s also a good show.
Agreed. And I have liked Kweli in concert as well. I think the best case scenario for hip-hop concerts is to have small venues (a la House of Blues) where the crew can feed off the crowd and vice versa.
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 12:57 pm}
@Jaybilal, as lot of rap acts are unreliable and Wu-Tang is especially notorious for not doing shows at full strength. The time I saw them at Unity in ‘94 (a little before they REALLY blew), neither ODB, Meth, nor GZA showed up. Hell, I’m not even sure RZA was there. It was all a blur on the stage, like they just had some random homies fill in the gaps. Hell, they boasted in an article back then that the Wu was 195 deep, so it’s not too far of a stretch.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:01 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
LOL. I never seen an entire Wu show but I can just imagine them sneaking Theodore Unit/Ice Water/Sun Gods and all them auxiliary, indiscernible ninjas on stage tryna fool people. I bet it be shows where NONE of em actually show. Hahaha
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 pm}
@Me fail english?, don’t forget Killarmy…no wu show is complete without a killarmy sighting.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
hey. don’t talk bad about killarmy. they’re the one wu auxiliary group (well, them and sunz of man) who actually made good albums
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:23 pm}
@The Champ,
Ha! Sunz of Man is who I meant. But ‘cmon, Sun Gods is completely plausible. And that is sad.
Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 3:22 pm}
@Me fail english?, ninjas will stage the first ever Hype Man Revue.
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Naturally Alise {November 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm}
@Jaybilal,
Ghostface by himself is a dope show.. that ninja got more energy than a little bit, and he will perform every. single. song.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 5:35 pm}
@Naturally Alise,
*co-sign*
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ok, um…..i just googled cherokee d’ass. um…i need to edit my post to add her to my list.
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bittersweet's baby {November 19th, 2009 at 3:37 am}
@charli skipper,
OKAAAY! Might have nightmares instead of sweet dreams LOL
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 pm}
@charli skipper,
lol, whys that?
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Champ-
Somehow your sick, twisted mind found a way to morph childbirth from a miraculously beautiful beginning into an unceremonious ending. In other words, her azz betnot turn up pregnant if she wants to ensure those tongue lashings keep a comin’. . .
No need for me to re-see:
Another boney behind boy’s dingy boxers exposed by his sagging jeans.
Any of the sex scenes or gratuitous nudity from NOTORIOUS. The movie overall was a disappointment but those scenes were just Exsexxive.
Any MTV cribs featuring most of the Atlanta based rappers. I mean, I can go to American Signature and see the same furniture or visit any staged home for sell. Oh and they usually need a Speech Therapist.
Robin Givens do anything. Still not over the Barbara Walters interview from twenty some odd years ago.
Girls Next Door. (Which I’ve accidentally mistaken for To Catch a Predator. True Story.) Something about watching a 98 year old man call 18 yo twins his girlfriend has me reaching for the phone to report it to somebody… As much as I cherish my nonsensical scripted reality tv, it’s just well, uncomfortable.
Effeminate males in real life or celebdom insistent upon their interest in finding the right woman to settle down. Yeah, Tyler Perry… I’m looking at you.
Any Wayans Brothers anything – barring syndicated episodes of In Living Color and the annual I’m Gonna Git You Sucka marathon. Hmmm Maybe it’s just Marlon & SW1 that I so strongly reject…
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I was wondering... {November 19th, 2009 at 4:56 am}
@bittersweet’s baby,
Co-sign on Notorious, but will say I never have to see the entire movie again, not just the sex scenes. People raved about how the movie took you back to the “Biggie days”. Yeah, not so much. It wasn’t horrible, but my (now ex) boyfriend and I both agreed as we left the theater that we never have to see that again. In Life.
And add to that any Biggie/Tupac conspiracy movie, documentary, roc-u-mentary, behind the music, etc. I am so done with it. They are both dead and most likely no one will be arrested for their deaths, like so many other black men who have died from gun violence. Not saying that its right, just saying I can’t deal with Tupac or Biggie and their deaths anymore.
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Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:19 am}
@I was wondering…,
co-signing esp. re Tupac books. A double pox on those books that have unnecessary pics of the 2pac autopsy photo. Why?!
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:09 am}
@bittersweet’s baby, Any of the sex scenes or gratuitous nudity from NOTORIOUS. The movie overall was a disappointment but those scenes were just Exsexxive.
i have to disagree with you here. i totally appreciated those scenes. naturi’s nubs were damn near perfect.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:26 am}
@Panama Jackson, “i have to disagree with you here. i totally appreciated those scenes. naturi’s nubs were damn near perfect.”
I agree.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:02 pm}
@bittersweet’s baby,
Champ-
Somehow your sick, twisted mind found a way to morph childbirth from a miraculously beautiful beginning into an unceremonious ending.
ummm, thanks?
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm}
@bittersweet’s baby,
LMAO @ DJ SW1!!!!
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The Pursuit of Happyness.
There’s nothing happy about this film. Not even the ending because it took entirely too long for something good to happen to Chris Gardner… I think I’d rather watch Sarah Palin spit lies for another hour straight than watch this film again…
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Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:21 am}
@thismayconcernyou,
I hated The Pursuit of Happyness. I barely was able to watch it to the end so am definitely NOT watching it again ever.
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charli skipper {November 19th, 2009 at 11:51 am}
@thismayconcernyou,
cosign
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:03 pm}
@thismayconcernyou,
There’s nothing happy about this film.
not even will smith’s reverse shag?
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:25 pm}
@thismayconcernyou,
“There’s nothing happy about this film.”
For some reason, I found it hilarious that those hippy panhandlers kept stealing that medical thingamajiggy he was selling thinking it was a time machine. WTF? Why would you steal something that is a burden to carry around? And useless on top of that?
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thismayconcernyou {November 19th, 2009 at 3:08 pm}
@Cheekie,
That ish was funny… but it was also effed up because it was happening to Gardner, who couldn’t catch a break.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:08 pm}
@thismayconcernyou,
True.
Will Smith knows how to cry like no other. My heart still clenches during that bathroom scene when he has to hold the door closed with his foot.
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm}
Will Smith knows how to cry like no other
Who you tellin’? I cried at this scene in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and that shit was a comedy!
Phuck you Chicken George!
Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 4:29 pm}
Dammit! I just watched it again and it made me tear up. Then I had to watch this to cheer myself back up.
IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 4:29 pm}
@Cheekie, “Will Smith knows how to cry like no other.”
And run . . . I can’t recall the last movie I seen with Will Smith when he wasn’t running somewhere.
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 6:45 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
Yeah, the Fresh Prince “How come he don’t want me, man?” scene is epic. Really made me pay attention to Will as an actor. When he screamed, “To hell with him!!!”, that ish gave me goosebumps.
Aw.
Oh And on the list of things to watch just once:
A Beyonce interview. She is SUCH a bore. All you need to do is watch her one time so you can really appreciate the character she plays on stage. Things I’d rather do than watch another Beyonce interview:
*Algebra with trig
*Be Sammy Sosa’s dermatologist
*Be Frankie’s dentist
*Be Rihanna’s vocal coach
*Be Donnie McClurkin’s life coach and psychotherapist
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TiP {November 19th, 2009 at 9:33 am}
@Luvvie,
Yes!! Beautiful girl and entertaining on a stage but I will always pass on interviews because she is soooo boring, matter fact I’ll pass on anything she does outside of music. I only saw dreamgirls for J. Hud’s performance, will not see that again either.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:12 am}
@Luvvie, *Be Rihanna’s vocal coach
Funny that you mention this. I have been planning on pitching a reality show to like vh1 where they follow the pain and triumph of studio engineers as they attempt to make people like Rihanna, Amerie, J.Lo, Britney, sound good. tell me that wouldn’t make for riveting television. you might see potential suicides as deadlines approach. arguments in the studio, frustrations, but overall triumphs as that one solid vocal track is achieved after a long night of arduous work and persistence.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:06 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
this sounds like a perfect job for you and sh*t
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm}
@The Champ, it would be a perfect job for me. put all of my skills to use in one long standing television show.
a boy can dream can’t he?
^that statement was at least 23 percent gay
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 12:19 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
I’ll watch it as long as it comes on after “For the love of Ray J 45.”
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 12:44 pm}
@Ivy St.,
lmao
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
This should not only go straight to production, but be in a primetime slot. I would definitely watch.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:37 pm}
@Cheekie, you and me both. can you imagine Amerie in a vocal booth?
or hell Mary J. Blige for that matter.
yeah…i said it.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:54 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
“Mary J. Blige for that matter.
yeah…i said it.”
*gasp*
Gem...from Houston {November 19th, 2009 at 2:36 pm}
@Panama Jackson, I am not sure WHY I once thought Amerie had so much promise. Welp, at least she has a degree to fall back on?
Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:00 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
Welp, at least she has a degree to fall back on?
And great legs… She’ll be alright.
BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 2:09 pm}
@Panama Jackson, genius!! LOL. Rihanna’s new CD (downloaded) is pretty hot though. I know ppl was working all kinds of magic and vodoo in that studio to make her sound good but they did a bang up job. Probably one of my fav CDs in a long time…
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my list of course includes the meyers briggs 200 question inventory test that I had to take for the 3rd time in my 7 year career because of an argument I had with my mgr over halloween decor&tions which ended with her in tears and me yelling I don’t give a f!ck about those decorations….my personality is the same and its not going to help you understand me anymore, ok? I don’t want to be friends or decorate or do secret santa or come to any after work activitie mmkay?
beloved…i don’t need to hear abotu the tree on sethes back or touch me on my inside parts ever again
gay male porn..lol don’t ask how or why but I really wish I’d neva eva seen it
any BET movie of the week or plays by all the tyler perry knock offs..
.
meet the browns the movie…i don’t mind TP that much but that movie made me hate him and what he did to angela bassett lol
donnie mclurkin claimin to be straight…i just don’t need to see a man send himself to hell like that
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:58 am}
@shay-d-lady,
“gay male porn..lol don’t ask how or why but I really wish I’d neva eva seen it”
Gay pron is disturbing (don’t ask) but I heard the best line in the 10 secs I watched:
ahem…
“give me that big black stick”
Loved it.
Then he gave it to him and I had to turn away.
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Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 6:33 am}
@V.E.G.,
Then he gave it to him and I had to turn away”
LOL! Sounds like those confessions of the crowds describing martyred saints http://tinyurl.com/yhmfdcs
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:23 pm}
@V.E.G.,
I accidentally on purpose watched gray porn. SMH @ all that meat going to waste.
It’s something about a man with his legs in the air getting piped down that is extremely disturbing.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:03 pm}
@V Renee,
a man with his legs in the air
This visual is disturbing on its own.
Yeah, as much as I love the gheys, male-on-male ghey pron is a bit hard to swallow… (no pun intended).
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shay_d_lady {November 19th, 2009 at 3:44 pm}
@V.E.G., I think we saw the same movie! LOL
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:14 am}
@shay-d-lady, meet the browns the movie…i don’t mind TP that much but that movie made me hate him and what he did to angela bassett lol
what did he do to angela bassett? it aint like she’s a great actress anyway. the way i see it, they sucked together. like gay pron.
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 12:22 pm}
@Panama Jackson, Angela Bassett isn’t a great actress? Have you SEEN What’s Love Got to do With It?
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:39 pm}
@Yonnie3k, i have and i assume that by mentioning that movie you were supporting my case.
am i right? or am i right?
i didnt say she was terrible, but she’s definitely not a great actress.
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Hershey's Kiss {November 19th, 2009 at 4:03 pm}
@Panama Jackson, Now I’m usually just a mere lurker here, but I had to come out on that one Panama. Just to say one simple word:
cosign
Miss Patterson {November 19th, 2009 at 2:04 pm}
@Panama Jackson, speaking of gay pron… i once came across a tape of gay male pron in my roomate’s vhs collection. it was labeled as a marilyn monroe movie. i had no idea that he was gay, he was in the closet, but after seeing that tape…i wanted to light a match to my corneas.
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:39 pm}
@Miss Patterson,
Usually, when the segue into the next comment is “speaking of gay pron…” it’s time for a new post and a new set of comments.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:17 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
Agreed. I liked her as Tina and Betty Shabazz but she still plays most roles like she auditioning for the Yale Drama School production of Hamlet.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:05 pm}
@Me fail english?,
she auditioning for the Yale Drama School production of Hamlet.
Or Aida.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:18 pm}
@shay-d-lady,
meet the browns the movie…i don’t mind TP that much but that movie made me hate him and what he did to angela bassett lol
you know, i gave both meet the browns and the house of payne a try last year because i’ll give any comedy a try.
i dont think i found a single thing funny in the hour combined time i spent watching those shows. it wouldnt even call it bad humor because i didnt even see any times when humor was even attempted. it made me feel like i was watching a german or indian sitcom or something.
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BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 1:49 pm}
@The Champ, <blockquote cite="it wouldnt even call it bad humor because i didnt even see any times when humor was even attempted. it made me feel like i was watching a german or indian sitcom or something."
Champ, you're a fool!!! LOL I can't stop laughing over here… Oh VSB, you make the work day go by so much faster….
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BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 1:52 pm}
@The Champ,
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm}
@BKSweetheart,
vsb.com: the website so nice she commented twice
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:10 pm}
@The Champ,
Champ, now you know you wrote that comment yourself.
sorry for the typos…not wearing my glasses and sending from my phone…i hope you guys can decipher it lol
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:20 pm}
@shay-d-lady,
thats some vsb dedication for your ass right there. i think i’m gonna shed a tear
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Things I’d wished I’d never seen and never want to see again:
As of 2 minutes ago, 2 girls 1 cup. Why didn’t I listen to the others???
Tranny rape pron. Just. No. (literally, I was at a guy’s house and he put this on. wtf???)
Paris Hilton chex tape. Wtf was she doing? Oh, that’s right: nothing.
Anyone vomit or spit.
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 8:01 am}
@V.E.G., WOW WTF on the Tranny rape porn…why would someone own that???
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:57 am}
@V.E.G.,
Were you really at a guy’s house?
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am}
@Ivy St.,
Yes. I’ve talked about that night on this board before. Y’all know I broke out.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:18 am}
@V.E.G., Tranny rape pron. Just. No. (literally, I was at a guy’s house and he put this on. wtf???)
i’ve always found it odd when guys just throw pr0n on when there are women around, but tranny rape pr0n??
that’s a whole new low. like midget pr0n.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:24 pm}
@V.E.G.,
with the tranny rape tapes, are the trannys raping men or women (or other trannys), or are the trannys getting raped by men?
nevermind. dont answer that question. in fact, don’t answer any of my questions for the rest of the afternoon because i’ll be in church
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:27 pm}
@The Champ,
Great questions. Unlike Champ, I want to know the answers. I’m so disgusted that I’m fascinated.
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:13 pm}
@V Renee,
Tranny’s were being raped by men.
First, it’s violent, right? Rape = an act of violence.
Then, it’s tranny’s.
Too much for me.
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:25 pm}
@V.E.G.,
tranny rape pr0n .
iCant!!!
This looks crazy typed out, let alone actually seeing it.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:30 pm}
@V Renee,
Exactly. I swear, there’s a genre out there for everyone which is extrememely disturbing.
But let’s break it down even further, why would he think this would be a good look on a date?
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm}
@miss t-lee,
I’m beginning to wonder if this happened at Donnie McClurken’s house. lol
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:53 pm}
@V Renee,
____________________
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:33 pm}
@V Renee,
LMAO!!!!
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:12 pm}
@V Renee,
AHAHAHA! Jeebus Holy Ghost Christ.
V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:16 pm}
@miss t-lee,
” why would he think this would be a good look on a date?”
I must give off some sort of freak vibe. Why else would you do that? he’d never hit the skins AND even if he had…why show me that side of yourself???
I had to do a lot of soul-searching after I made my escape. (I had a ‘phone call’ and had to bounce)
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm}
@V.E.G.,
I’m just glad you made it out alive.
Dude obviously has some issues.
BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 1:59 pm}
@V.E.G., Tranny rape pron???????????? WTF!!
*DEAD*
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Bills game – I grew up in upstate NY and watched them lose 4 superbowls in a row, but that doesn’t compare to the pain of watching them now. Watching them is a joke and I even feel bad for T.O. and I don’t even like him
Charles Barkley playing golf – funny but awkward
Movies with Beyonce – they are hard to sit through and I hope that she gets better with each movie but she is not a good actress.
City of God – Brazilian movie about life in the slums. Good movie, but depressing. It had me down for days just seeing the images of the happiness the boy had from killing people and just the hopelessness
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:56 am}
@Leila,
I feel bad for TO too. I think his career might just be OVER now.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:05 am}
@Leila, “City of God – Brazilian movie about life in the slums. Good movie, but depressing. It had me down for days just seeing the images of the happiness the boy had from killing people and just the hopelessness”
I LOVE this movie and try to convince everyone to watch it. Maybe I need help . . .
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:22 am}
@IVR, i agree.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
me three
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Leila {November 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm}
@IVR, lol. It’s a great movie and beautifully shot. I like movies with a happy ending, but this one was so realistic and I left feeling sad for people in the slums. I thought the ghetto here was bad, but dayum compared to Brazil it’s nothing…
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm}
@Leila, “I like movies with a happy ending, but this one was so realistic and I left feeling sad for people in the slums. I thought the ghetto here was bad, but dayum compared to Brazil it’s nothing…”
I hear you . . . that’s how I felt watching slumdog when the homeboy fell in the sh!t pile . . . It was like I could smell the nastiness just watching that joint. Aint no hood like a foreign hood.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:22 pm}
@IVR,
Easily, one of my favorite movies of all time.
It’s depressing but manages to be hopeful at the same time.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:21 am}
@Leila, Movies with Beyonce – they are hard to sit through and I hope that she gets better with each movie but she is not a good actress.
dude, Fighting Temptations is a top 10 movie all time.
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 12:33 pm}
@Leila, I LOVE and own City of God. It isn’t any more or less depressing than watching Boyz N the Hood. But that’s just me.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:11 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
Yeah I’m surprised that made someone’s list. It’s actually a pretty light movie in most spots. Lil Ze getting killed at the end makes it damn near comedy.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 2:23 pm}
@Me fail english?,
LOL.
But yeah, City of God is my ish. That’s on my list of “Movies I Love But Haven’t Bought Yet For Some Odd Reason That Can Only Be Explained By The ‘Itis”.
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Endoscopy? What’s that for? What are you going to do with that thing? No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:55 am}
@Da Iceman,
No worries, according to wiki this tool is minimally invasive. lol
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Da Iceman {November 20th, 2009 at 6:29 am}
@Ivy St., LOL I don’t believe!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm}
@Da Iceman,
That ish looks like a dayum space weapon. It looks like something one would see in a Darth Vader prono.
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:48 pm}
@Cheekie,
… so if anyone is keeping a tally, that’s references to Pron stars out of prons, gay pron, tranny rape pron, midget pron and Darth Vader pron… The people of VSB get more and more interesting everyday.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:13 pm}
@CleverScreenName,
I think Champ and Panama (and to some extent, Liz) bring that out of us. lol
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Da Iceman {November 20th, 2009 at 6:30 am}
@Cheekie, LOL true
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This pictures that were making the rounds a while back of some woman’s breasts that had worms popping out… *heaving*
That one scene from “to catch a predator” with the naked Indian guy, tub of mayo and a cat. Yes, it was not a real kid and the cops were there- but when you think of the ‘what ifs?”- my mind refuses to go there.
The mental imagery: Picture yourself sliding down a banister- somewhere during the slide, banister changes to a razor blade. Damn you Stephen King!!
and finally, seeing people extract guinea worms from eyes and legs and isht by winding the guinea worm slooooowly through a matchstick ….
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 8:07 am}
@Wanjiru, co-sign on the worms and the breast!! but be lucky you only seen the pictures there is a video out there and OMG those were some of the hugest worms i have ever seen!!!
** threw up a lil in my mouth**
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 9:53 am}
@Wanjiru,
I’m sensing that you have an issue with worms.
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Wanjiru {November 19th, 2009 at 10:57 am}
@Ivy St.,
Naw- just those that move and crawl and burrow and make holes inside people- occasionally popping their heads out of the holes for what?!
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 10:01 am}
@Wanjiru,
“That one scene from “to catch a predator” with the naked Indian guy, tub of mayo and a cat. Yes, it was not a real kid and the cops were there- but when you think of the ‘what ifs?”- my mind refuses to go there.”
I saw that episode. That was like the weirdest combination ever….lmao
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:08 am}
@Wanjiru, “This pictures that were making the rounds a while back of some woman’s breasts that had worms popping out… *heaving*”
I was gonna post that! That email seriously made me sick . . . I’m normally not a sucker for opening nastiness forwards but my homegirl got me with that one. Just thinking about it makes my d@mn skin crawl . . . and
“and finally, seeing people extract guinea worms from eyes and legs and isht by winding the guinea worm slooooowly through a matchstick ….”
God Bless America . . . I am NEVER going back
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:29 pm}
@Wanjiru,
That one scene from “to catch a predator” with the naked Indian guy, tub of mayo and a cat. Yes, it was not a real kid and the cops were there- but when you think of the ‘what ifs?”- my mind refuses to go there.
thats one instance where they should have just let the guy do what he was planning on doing before arresting him just so we could see what the f*ck he had in mind
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:33 pm}
@The Champ,
lmao! Thats exactly how I felt! Like damn, they said the girl doing the voice was an adult right…
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Why oh why did I have to google the damned 2g1c thing?! I’m scarred for life and I didn’t see a thing. I only read about it…the worst mistake ever!
Things I’d never like to see again:
Shaq in any movie he’s starring in. You shouldn’t put yourself through that kinda pain…seriously.
Watching someone trying to be funny and failing miserably. No one specifically comes to mind but it’s really uncomfortable for all involved.
I can’t think of anything else at the moment.
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 8:08 am}
@Kijuana, You didn’t like Kazaam?!?!?!?! lmao!!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
*rolling* @ Kazaam. I can’t even believe I have to look back and have that be a part of childhood. lol
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NiazDad, almost home free {November 19th, 2009 at 1:23 pm}
@Cheekie, So true…but so sad…some people shouldn’t try and become actors or actresses *hint* Beyonce…but yea that and all of his movies are str8 up GARBAGE!!!
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 3:53 pm}
@NiazDad, almost home free,
Blue Chips was cool… ish
Maximillian {November 19th, 2009 at 10:27 am}
@Kijuana, Watching someone trying to be funny and failing miserably. No one specifically comes to mind but it’s really uncomfortable for all involved.
How bout this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_L-gbpKZpo
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 2:38 pm}
@Maximillian, now I know where Little Brother got that from, LOL.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 10:32 am}
@Kijuana,
“Shaq in any movie he’s starring in. You shouldn’t put yourself through that kinda pain…seriously.”
You must aint seen Blue Chips.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 10:37 am}
@Me fail english?,
That was his first movie though…it was straight downhill from there, and then he started in with the Fu-Schnickens.
Like I said straight downhill. CTFU
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 6:33 pm}
@miss t-lee,
Not the Fu-Schnickens! Shaq-Fu! LMAO! Okay, they (FuSchnickens) wasn’t wack, but the reference made me laugh. Like somebody talkin’ about the UMC’s and “Blue Cheese”…..lol! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_4jmsI6t_o It just makes me smile…..
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miss t-lee {November 20th, 2009 at 4:10 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
Oh snap…the UMC’s.
Wow…I’m hafta check this when I get off the plantation.
Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:24 am}
@Me fail english?, Blue Chips is the 1,587 best movie ever.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:14 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
Ok, this made me guffaw.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:31 pm}
@Kijuana,
Watching someone trying to be funny and failing miserably. No one specifically comes to mind but it’s really uncomfortable for all involved.
this is true. there’s nothing more awkward than watching unfunny stand-up
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Heres a few:
Scary movie three, four, Epic movie, Date movie and all the others- My God these movies are terrible, couldn’t pay me to sit through one of those .
I’m an anime fan, with that being said there is a movie named Akira. Here are two scenes from the movie *shutter*:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pGX-EnbjxU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfpMXS3L0JQ&feature=related
Lastly, read on chapter from this comic named Uzumaki (I never looked at cinnamon rolls the same way again 8-0):
http://www.onemanga.com/Uzumaki/
Well I’m off to work, Good morning from Jersey
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 10:26 am}
@Mr. Gundam,
Have you seen Tony Soprano?
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:33 pm}
@Mr. Gundam,
welcome and sh*t
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Mr. Gundam {November 19th, 2009 at 5:42 pm}
@The Champ, Thanks and sh*t
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 4:04 pm}
@Mr. Gundam,
I actually kinda dug the beat-boxin in the first clip. I’m not about to sit through 9 minutes of the other one.
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 4:19 pm}
@Mr. Gundam, I agree w/the Scary Movie 3…4, Epic Movie…etc..
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•I agree with you Champ about childbirth. I have 3 kids and never wanted to actually see the process. My last child was born at one of these fancy birthing centers. As I was delivering the nurse runs and gets this big a$s mirror so I could see. I was horrified!! I knew what was happening from the pain I was experiencing but to see it…
•An email video clip a friend sent me with a lady and a horse…. and nope she wasn’t Riding it. I had never seen anything like it so I think that’s why I watched it. It was only about 2 minutes long but I swear that clip really did something to me and I wish I would never had watched it.
•My friend’s house. This woman used to bring some amazing baked goods to work. I would be the first one in line and beg her to bring me her cooking. Then one day we all went to her house. I was truly disguisted. I couldn’t believe I’d eaten anything out of her kitchen.
•My overweight uncle streaking naked after hearing him have sex with my aunt. I’d gone to visit them and in the middle of the night I could hear them having sex…they are about 60. I frowned and tried to force myself back to sleep. Then I heard their door open and saw him running by the guest room to the bathroom. Breakfast that next morning was so awkward!!
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:30 pm}
@Yaa,
•My overweight uncle streaking naked after hearing him have sex with my aunt. .
WOW!!! I feel for you.
So did he seem like he was a 5 minuter or did it sound like he had took one of those magic blue pills and laid it down? LMAO
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:35 pm}
@Yaa,
•I agree with you Champ about childbirth. I have 3 kids and never wanted to actually see the process. My last child was born at one of these fancy birthing centers. As I was delivering the nurse runs and gets this big a$s mirror so I could see. I was horrified!! I knew what was happening from the pain I was experiencing but to see it…
is that even legal? if i were a woman i’d sue someone for some sh*t like that.
then i’d rub on my breasts
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Yaa {November 19th, 2009 at 1:24 pm}
@The Champ,
“then i’d rub on my breasts”
There is something really wrong with you!!
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm}
@The Champ,
BWAHAHHAHA!
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm}
@The Champ,
You are so sick.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 6:41 pm}
@Yaa,
I agree with the horse and lady clip. Ewwwww! *cringing* I saw another with a snake that gave me drive heaves and why do people send that ‘ish thinking you wanna see it?
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I never want to see my Patriots lose to the Colts like they did on Sunday. I’m still sad.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 11:28 am}
@Ivy St., i was SO glad that the Pats lost. im a closet Colts fan though. and generally i hate boston sports teams.
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Ivy st. {November 19th, 2009 at 11:58 am}
@Panama Jackson,
*shots fired!*
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm}
@Ivy st., no shots. just truth. which makes it hard for me b/c i like everybody who plays for the Celtics except steph.
but the rest of the boston teams can eat a d*ck.
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
yaaaaaaaaay Celts!!!!
Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:48 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
Go Celtics!!
CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 4:11 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
Agreed. I am actually a life-long, die hard lakers fan (not a Pre-Shaq trade, post Gasol trade-Love ‘em when they’re winning fan) and as such, I have slowly developed a strong disdain for everything Boston so much so the point that I enjoy watching the Colts and Yankees win, ONLY because they’re Boston rivals.
It took me a long time to realize that this is what caused it. But now I enjoy confusing people by saying things like “I like the Yankees because I’m a Lakers fan.”
luvtheshoes {November 19th, 2009 at 12:15 pm}
@Ivy St.,
F@ck Bill Belichick and his arrogant, cheating arse. (Yeah, I’m from Indy) Hahahaha
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm}
@luvtheshoes,
you just made a new friend and sh*t
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:26 pm}
@The Champ,
two friends. Bish Bellichick should be excommunicated from the NFL…and I’m not even a big football fan.
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:47 pm}
@luvtheshoes,
All I can say is, “GO PATS!!!!!!!”
and
I don’t luv those shoes
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 1:31 pm}
@Ivy St.,
becuz i value you as a friend i refrained from rubbing the Pats loss in your face.
but now that you bring it up–YAY COLTS!!!
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:46 pm}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
Wow, kick a sister when she is already down.
*puts dark shades back on*
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I’m with you on the childbirth, I was my cousin’s go-to person since her Mom didn’t live here at the time, and let’s just say…I don’t even wanna see my own. They gone have to take them dayum mirrors down…lol
Other things I wish I could unsee:
Mickey Avalon (he opened for Ghostface and Rakim back in ‘07 @SXSW and we were NOT happy about it.)
Love Jones
Most Disney movies
Really twisted S&M pron
Everyone from the RHOA–including Dwight and the hairdresser kat with the madd shoe game.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:36 pm}
@miss t-lee,
“Mickey Avalon (he opened for Ghostface and Rakim back in ‘07 @SXSW and we were NOT happy about it.)”
Is that that mofo who sings that song “All my friends and all my lovers are *hilarious pause*…..dead”. I can’t for the life of me remember a time when I laughed that hard. I think he was on The Simple Life or something. He performed for some wedding and it was the most hilarious thing ever to be funny.
“I’m with you on the childbirth, I was my cousin’s go-to person since her Mom didn’t live here at the time, and let’s just say…I don’t even wanna see my own.”
*dryheave*
I narrowly escaped it in 2006. I was in the delivery room when my big sis gave birth and it was going to be natural and then at the last minute they had to go to C-Section. Her labor pains alone scared me farther away from having kids so I KNOW a natural birth would’ve put the nail in the coffin.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:43 pm}
@Cheekie, i’m with who ever said it up top…childbirth really wasn’t that bad. and i was in the room holding legs and all that.
now that’s reality TV for dat azz.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:58 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
“i’m with who ever said it up top…childbirth really wasn’t that bad. ”
Ok, also going by what I read up top, I have a question. Did childbirth make the vagine more or less appetizing to you?
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 1:08 pm}
@Cheekie, cant say more but definitely didnt make it less. plus they have like a built in no sex for 6 weeks program thing or something to help make sure you forget everything you just saw.
i believe its called recovery. now, that’s supposed to be for women but i think it works for men too.
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:44 pm}
@Panama,
Good theory.
miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:44 pm}
@Cheekie,
“Is that that mofo who sings that song “All my friends and all my lovers are *hilarious pause*…..dead”. I can’t for the life of me remember a time when I laughed that hard. I think he was on The Simple Life or something. He performed for some wedding and it was the most hilarious thing ever to be funny.”
Giiiirl…IDK what that mofo sings. I didn’t know him from Adam when he came on stage. Me and my BFF were soooo HOT, like hotter than fish grease HOT!!!
I was like who is this wanna be Iggy Pop/Mick Jagger who’s clearly wasted singing this BS? He actually pulled out lil’ bottles of vodka (like the ones you get on the plane) and started guzzling them mid performance.
The 2520’s were like going crazy, it was surreal, they knew all the words to every song. It was the longest 30 minutes.
At one point I turned around and just started looking at people, I thought I was on a episode of punk’d or something. Like this mofo can’t be real. All of the people of color were stumped, we all just gave each other that knowing look…like um…yeah this chump is wack.
Then Ghost came on and all was well again.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm}
@miss t-lee,
*cracking the hell up*
That sounds like a total nightmare.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:59 pm}
@Cheekie,
Had me wanting to elbow someone in the eye.
It was rough, rough I tell ya!!
The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm}
@miss t-lee,
Really twisted S&M pron
so s&m p*rn is cool with you if its just a little twisted?
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 pm}
@The Champ,
*snickering*
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The remnants (or all) of Flo in a toilet.
Images of people shot in the face, beheaded, crushed.
Family members’ bodies being prepared for burial.
Two mentally challenged people fighting/arguing.
A homeless man shytting/pissing on the street corner.
Detroit in the winter.
A cheese factory.
Someone getting knocked the f out in a street fight.
Close female friends talking shyt about each other just to increase their chance of getting with you.
How many times I can be spun around before I lose my balance (and feel to vomit).
Seeing how much x hurts (having a car roll over my foot, closing a swiss army knife on my finger, getting punched in the stomach, putting my tongue on batteries, etc. — I had an otherwise boring childhood).
Oh, and I already know that I’m never going to see my child(ren) born. I have NO interest whatsoever to see random juices or discolored babies popping out of small/tearing holes. Call me when it’s clean and presentable, it’ll make for a happier me, and a happier more well adjusted child.
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 10:21 am}
@An Island,
“having a car roll over my foot, closing a swiss army knife on my finger, getting punched in the stomach, putting my tongue on batteries, etc.”
LOL! Sh*t while you”re at why don’t you touch an electric fence or try to chair a monkey without a pole.
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An Island {November 19th, 2009 at 11:12 am}
@Ivy St.
The electric fence sounds cool, I have no idea what “chairing a monkey” means, though.
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Ivy st. {November 19th, 2009 at 11:59 am}
@An Island,
An Island, you are scaring me with this electric fence talk. Though I must admit, as I child I’ve touched one quite a few times.
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An Island {November 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm}
@Ivy st.
There’s nothing like being looked down upon by someone who’s done exactly what you want to do. You’ll make a great parent. Ha! And I’m not trying to touch one of them Jurassic Park electric fences. Just one with a nice little current.
The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 1:38 pm}
@An Island,
lmao chairing a monkey is simply putting a monkey in a chair.
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:28 pm}
@The One & True GEM… of the Ocean,
I was going to leave him in suspense. lol!
Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm}
@An Island,
Yes, chairing a monkeys is putting a monkey in a chair. It’s a method that normally requires a pole (attaches to collar) and a collar (collar on monkey), but since you want a thrill, I was suggesting u do it without the pole and the collar.
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An Island {November 19th, 2009 at 3:16 pm}
@Ivy St.
Ahhhh. I’m gonna have to pass on that one. I’m not an animal person. Not at all.
IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:14 am}
@An Island, Good list . . .
“The remnants (or all) of Flo in a toilet. ”
Actually asked a chick in college to show me the “flow” . . . I believe this is what has killed my curiosity for things unknown. I’m good!!!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am}
@IVR, Not killed the curiosity . . . just made the importance of not scarring my mindhole that much more important.
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 12:19 pm}
@IVR, O_O…lol m’kay
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 12:25 pm}
@Smiley Face, Yeah . . . I don’t even know what I was thinking
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm}
@An Island,
“The remnants (or all) of Flo in a toilet. ” .
::snickering::
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 1:05 pm}
Two mentally challenged people fighting/arguing.
I quite disgusted which how much just reading this made me laugh. I’m still laughing. I hope I never see this in real life.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 1:10 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
Me either because I already know I’ma be rolling.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm}
@Yonnie3k, “I quite disgusted which how much just reading this made me laugh. I’m still laughing. I hope I never see this in real life.”
Thank God I wasn’t the only one. I am also still laughing . . .damn
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 4:22 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
I laughed too. And felt bad, too. This is sad, but tell me honestly that you don’t laugh in the first 20 seconds of the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ1pyaxEzNk
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 5:53 pm}
@CleverScreenName, “This is sad, but tell me honestly that you don’t laugh in the first 20 seconds of the video.”
A FIGHT CLUB?!?!?! GTFOH! THANKS! Now my seat in hell is reserved . . . thank you very much.
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CleverScreenName {November 20th, 2009 at 12:53 am}
@IVR,
Glad I could be of service.
Caballeroso {November 19th, 2009 at 4:20 pm}
@An Island,
I’ve always found myself to be curious about that whole “having a car roll over my foot” thing. Glad it’s not just me. I’ll just take your word that it hurts.
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An Island {November 19th, 2009 at 4:45 pm}
@Caballeroso
Actually, it doesn’t hurt if the car just keeps rolling. Now if they get your aunt to stop the car as it’s on your foot, that’s another story.
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The face of the woman that was attacked by that chimp. I can’t believe Oprah was sitting right next to her and talking to her!
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 10:14 am}
@Ivy St.,
Good one….I was more than slightly disturbed by that.
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:37 pm}
@Ivy St.,
OMG I know right?!?!?! I seriously wish I had NEVER saw that face again.
I’m sorry, but if I looked like that, I probably would ask to be taken out of the game. I don’t care that I couldn’t see it. I could feel that sh*t and know it wasn’t right.
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 2:32 pm}
@V Renee,
Your comment made me choke on a tiny mint. lmao!
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 3:08 pm}
@V Renee, “I don’t care that I couldn’t see it. I could feel that sh*t and know it wasn’t right.”
…am i going to hell for laughing at this? lol
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V.E.G. {November 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm}
@Smiley Face,
Yes. lol. And so am I.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:14 pm}
@V Renee,
Why did I read this while I was drinking my tea?
Dayum!!!!
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You know how long it took me to sit through Rosewood to actually LOOK at this movie without stopping, without wanting to apply for a gun permit, without having flashbacks of my dad’s face when he told his own horror stories of growing up in the SOUTH South…try 8 dayum years…I get instantly HEATED when I see the title of this movie (I’m sure you can tell) which is not good being as I’m the only raisin in the milk at my job…not good….lemme wooossssaaahhhh and pray bout this real quick. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 10:18 am}
@Smiley Face,
Let’s not forget Eyes on The Prize, Mississippi Burning, 4 Little Girls (like Champy mentioned), a made for TV movie about Medgar Evers (name escapes me).
Pretty much all them movies will make you wanna throat punch them.
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 10:24 am}
@miss t-lee,
gggiiiiiirrrrrlllllllll!!!
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Soula Powa {November 19th, 2009 at 11:14 am}
@miss t-lee,
Ghosts of Mississippi is the movie about Medgar Evers assassination. Whoopi was gr8 in that. Almost makes up for Eddie. Yeah, I need a 30 min. cooling down period after all those flicks you said.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:33 pm}
@Soula Powa,
I did see Ghosts of Mississippi. Good movie.
I just googled and found the name of the made for TV one, it was called “For Us The Living”.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm}
@miss t-lee, “for us the living”
that’s a Black azz movie title if i ever done seent one.
kind of like “eyes on the prize”
oooooh lawwwwwwwd.
miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm}
@ Panama Jackson
Hahahhaha….you see I didn’t even remember the title of it…lmao
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
*dead*
The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:46 pm}
@miss t-lee,
mississippi burning was a good flick, but it didnt really make me angry or anything. maybe because i was too amused of the sight of a 5′2 willem dafoe as a kick-ass fbi agent
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:58 pm}
@The Champ,
LOL
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Legendary Dash {November 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm}
@miss t-lee, Mississippi Burning was an annoying movie that distorted the facts of what actually happened to the point where it is borderline offensive.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm}
@Legendary Dash,
You know it’s been years (early 90’s) since I’ve seen it, I may have to revisit it.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 3:29 pm}
@miss t-lee,
Exactly! Which is why I’m not trying to see the movie with Ed Norton as a skinhead. No inclination at all…
Might I add the Eyes on the Prize with open casket funeral of Emmit Till. It’s a necessary evil. Necessary, but it changes you. Next mofo talking about reverse racism needs to see that ‘ish immediately!
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:31 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
Oh…you haven’t seen American History X?
That’s another disturbing one.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:10 pm}
@miss t-lee,
yeah. the “curb” scene might be the most disturbing scene in movie history
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:17 pm}
@miss t-lee,
YES. That is my movie though so I have and do watch it multiple times. The “Now say goodnight” curb scene, though?!
*cringe*
I hold my teeth and comfort them talmbout’ “It’s go be alright. That mean man won’t hurt you. I’mma bout to soothe you with some Crest”.
miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm}
@ Cheekie and The Champ,
Yeah on that curb scene alone, I’ve only seen the movie once.
legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 5:06 pm}
@miss t-lee & everyone,
I heard about the curb scene and for that…Nawwwww! I’ll pass.
CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 4:38 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
I’ve actually seen American History X a few times. Sure, it’s a movie about how racism affects White kids in suburbia and how horrible it was for the white kid to grow up around racism and how it negatively affected the white kid to see two kneegrows killed in front of him… and how a patronly Black man (let’s call him Uncle Tom for argument’s sake) and a funny, unintimidating
, emasculatedBlack man (let’s call him “Sambo”, for argument’s sake) can reach white kids and grown white men, respectively, and help them grow out of/away from the racism that so negatively affects them. Poe 2520s, if only Black people would stop being so angry all the time and help them out, the world would be a better place and they wouldn’t have have to deal with racism anymore… wait, where was I going with this?Reply
legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 5:10 pm}
@CleverScreenName,
You let me know I made the right decision. *smile*
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 5:11 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
Ugh! Emmet Till’s remains def makes my short list of shet to actively avoid seeing ever again
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:38 pm}
@miss t-lee,
a made for TV movie about Medgar Evers (name escapes me).
Oh my god I remember this movie CLEARLY. Growing up we didn’t have readily access to translated Black American movies… but this particular movie was burnt in my brain. I remember crying for like hours.
The song “We shall overcome” always makes me tear up…. Damn I’m about to. *calling in my gangsta*
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miss t-lee {November 20th, 2009 at 4:05 pm}
@Sula,
I knew I wasn’t the only one who remembered this.
*daps*
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things that i’ve willingly seen that I never need to see again
Fox News
The pron “Black @ss Candy”. I wish my boy would have told me the theme before hand. After 2 minutes I was thru.
The Detroit Lions vs. St. Louis Rams circa. 2001
That documentary about rape in the Congo. This ish pissed me off greatly. I was so mad at the men and felt so bad for the women. I wish I had the power o just go there and set every thing straight.
That prostitute I saw driving by on Linwood.
The 6′9″ dude with the hard face and french roll hair-do dressed like a woman walking with other feminine men.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm}
@Humble_One,
The pron “Black @ss Candy”. I wish my boy would have told me the theme before hand. After 2 minutes I was thru.
all anal p*rn falls under this category for me
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 2:18 pm}
@Humble_One, “The pron “Black @ss Candy”. ”
I have not seen this . . . good looking out for the heads up because now I will never.
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I agree. Hip-Hop is not a performance artform. Its better recorded. But my love, SOCA ….dat is di best ting ever when performed!
Yo Champ….Y’all got dat in da Pitts????? I do recall a certain posting about a certain city that gets too much hype….ahem! You dare to refresh my memory?
LOL!
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:51 pm}
@Jackie,
o Champ….Y’all got dat in da Pitts????? I do recall a certain posting about a certain city that gets too much hype….ahem! You dare to refresh my memory?
speak american please
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Couldn’t agree with you more with a hip hop *concert*. Hip Hop shows are the greatest things on earth however.
*Except for the Glow in the Dark concert for some reason that was more than amazing.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:55 pm}
@Dorian G.,
the glow in the dark concert?
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Dorian G. {November 19th, 2009 at 1:29 pm}
@The Champ,
Yeah the Kanye spaceship thing he did a couple years back. Easily the best hip hop “concert” i’ve ever been to.
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Thanks to the internets, I am probably desensitized to a lot of madness, but these things here…
The Making of Sausage.
The video of the guy that got beheaded. He was screaming until they cut his vocal cords then put his head on his back. Yeah.
2 girls 1 cup. Like so many others, i’m cool on that…
I saw childbirth in like 8th grade, as part of some series for biology class, but I can admit it may be a little different seeing an SO’s vajayjay split like a melon.
And…
It’s SO COOLLLLD IN THE D!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aktLRiWXfqg
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 11:57 am}
@Maximillian,
It’s SO COOLLLLD IN THE D!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aktLRiWXfqg
That song is extremely iCant-ish, let alone the video.
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:47 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, whoa now…if i had a record label, i’d sign Baby D in a heartbeat.
the dancing ride-or-die friends are what truly make the video worth watching. like why do they keey dancing?
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Ivy st. {November 19th, 2009 at 12:01 pm}
@Maximillian,
“The Making of Sausage. ”
YES! After seeing how sausage is made, I stopped eating it for 20 years.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm}
@Ivy st.,
thats not what i heard
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:20 pm}
@The Champ,
Fired shots!
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:38 pm}
@Maximillian,
“The Making of Sausage. ”
AHAHAHA! Word. What’s so pauseworthy about this is that I think I first saw this on Mister Rogers or something. You know how he has that segment of how things work or how they are made (the crayons one was my fave), but vaguely remember seeing it on his show. lol
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Humble_One {November 19th, 2009 at 1:01 pm}
@Maximillian,
“It’s SO COOLLLLD IN THE D!”
I couldn’t watch 2 seconds of this video. I don’t know if my city will ever live this down.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:16 pm}
@Humble_One,
I effin loved this video. You’re buggin.
How the eff do they ‘posed to keep peace?!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm}
@Me fail english?, “I effin loved this video. You’re buggin.
How the eff do they ‘posed to keep peace?!”
I’m with you . . . this sh!t is so funny I had to go back and watch it again . . . and will rewatch after I hit submit. That chick is SERIOUS!
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 4:58 pm}
@Me fail english?,
lmao fa real. this vid is HILARIOUS and has quotes to last lifetimes. classic.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 2:23 pm}
@Humble_One,
I couldn’t watch it either. I’m not even from the D, but I couldn’t.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:44 pm}
@Maximillian,
It’s SO COOLLLLD IN THE D!
What??? That’s an AMAZING vid right there!!! I mean how can you beat that?
::singing It’s so Cold in the D::
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 7:01 pm}
@Sula, yeah, it is catchy. See the rest of my take on SGPL.
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The following movies for stealing precious hours of my life:
1. Artificial Intelligence
2. Beloved
3. Mortal Kombat 2 (Basically any video game movie but especially this one.)
Abstract spoken word poetry – No one understands you but you. GTFOH. You are taking space from people with something to say.
Any scene where someone gets their throat slit and they show everything. Call me a scary kneegrow but it’s so unnecessary.
Also, every time I see someone discuss 2G1C I get a wry smile because I still have not seen it and hopefully never will. Ha ha!
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Panama Jackson {November 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm}
@Soula Powa, i actually appreciate and enjoy abstract spoken word poetry, but only because i like to pretend i get it when nobody else does. and then i like to ask the poets asinine non-related questions and pretend their poems inspired me. lol
basically i’m an azz.
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Soula Powa {November 19th, 2009 at 3:14 pm}
@Panama Jackson,
PJ, C’mon son! Don’t encourage wackness. I am a spoken word poet and my stuff is not abstract at all.
That “birds frolic freely in the wind”
shitstuff makes most people want to leave and others have a headache before I get to spit my hot fire.Reply
LLS……. Hip Hop festivals like last years Rock the Bells 2008 was DOPE, specially Da La Soul that was my highlight and seeing Rakim for the first time etc…I would like to see Snoop once and a few other folks I haven’t seen, wish I had known Public Enemy was down Foggy Bottom last night, all I saw was GW students on the news this morning skipping down the street o_O LOL
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:18 am}
@OrangeStar616, “Public Enemy was down Foggy Bottom last night”
WHAT? I am too out of the loop in this town.
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OrangeStar616 {November 19th, 2009 at 11:22 am}
@IVR, most of “US” didn’t know til this morning, they were down Foggy Bottom performing on a flatbed truck and then they went past the Sasha Bruce House (in NE I guess) to help young homeless folk
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 1:11 pm}
@OrangeStar616,
I soooo wanna go to Rock the Bells this year (2010). My female friends dont like hip hop and my bf hates crowds. I’m considering just going for delf.
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for me The Color Purple. I’ve seen it once. Don’t need to see it again.
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 11:40 am}
@Deviant, looks like I’m not the only one that finally got around to The Color Purple after all these VSSes raved about it all summer.
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Deviant {November 19th, 2009 at 12:23 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
I saw it some years ago. I thougth it was blah. So much so that when I meet people that say how great it is or its their favorite movie I stay away from them.
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Gem...from Houston {November 19th, 2009 at 2:48 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, I still have never seen it.
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Deviant {November 19th, 2009 at 5:37 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
you’ll wanna keep it that way.
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 7:06 pm}
@Deviant, I say just get it out the way, so you can be like “oh, that’s where ____ got that from!”
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:40 pm}
@Deviant,
I don’t even know you anymore.
Reply
The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 12:58 pm}
@Deviant,
***nodding head***
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2 Girls 1 Cup is nowhere near as vulgar as the following:
-1 GUY 1 Cup: Probably the most vulgar thing a man could do to himself.
-2 Girls 1 Finger: Downright disgusting
-Pain Olympics: this and the following will pretty much get the same descriptions, so I won’t bother
-the Tubgirl photo
-the Larvae Breast photo: It’s created from photoshopping a normal breast and the inside of a lotus pod together. The whole is worse than the sum of its parts.
-Charla Nash’s face: Bless her heart, surely she’d rather have died. Superheroes should want the strength of a chimp.
-plastic surgery freak shows like Jocelyn Wildenstein, Joan Rivers, and KCAL 9’s Mia Lee.
-severe keloids
So much more, but I guess I’ve successfully unseen it because I can’t remember.
Though I do wish I could unsmell this dead cat I once saw. And this chick who came out to see me when she was on the rag…
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 12:05 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like, “Though I do wish I could unsmell this dead cat I once saw.”
This reminds my nostrals of the lot of dead camels I had the luck to spend an afternoon in. Some smells never leave
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:01 pm}
@IVR,
The hell? Who was just collecting dead camels in a lot?
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 2:13 pm}
@Me fail english?, “The hell? Who was just collecting dead camels in a lot?”
This was in Kuwait. . . guess they had to put them somewhere . . . unfortunately it was right outside the cement factory where I happened to be spending my afternoon . . . they are already fugly creatures to begin with
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 2:14 pm}
@Me fail english?,
“Who was just collecting dead camels in a lot?”
Jay-Z?
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Smiley Face {November 19th, 2009 at 2:37 pm}
@Cheekie,
ooooo….i’m tellin! LOL
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm}
@Cheekie,
LMAO! He keeps them suspended in fluid in case he needs a clone, like the Prestige!
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm}
@Smiley Face,
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 2:55 pm}
@me fail english,
“He keeps them suspended in fluid in case he needs a clone, like the Prestige!”
LMFAO!
Right…or to keep it updated and current, like James Cameron’s “Avatar”.
V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:45 pm}
@Cheekie,
LMAO!! Bless his ♥
The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:01 pm}
@Stuff Ghetto People Like,
congrats for leaving the most disturbing comment in the history of vsb
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Stuff Ghetto People Like {November 19th, 2009 at 2:30 pm}
@The Champ, let me guess…you Googled everything up to the dead cat?
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10. nas in concert (actually, pretty much every hip-hop act other than the roots and busta rhymes)
Don’t forget any of the Wu cats, Redman, KRS, De La Soul…they all put on terrific shows
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Legendary Dash {November 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm}
@Tyler,
I saw a great OutKast show when they were still on the road. For old time’s sake they need to do a huge Dungeon Family tour.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:50 pm}
@Legendary Dash,
I will pay good money and travel far to see a Dungeon family show.
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Tyler {November 20th, 2009 at 12:54 pm}
@Legendary Dash,
Never seent them, but I’m sure they are dope as well. Good call.
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Aside: I like to think the evil eye baby is giving a hella fierce side-eye. Like, Lady Cameroon levels. She’s starting early and her side-eye game is already proper. Her evil side-eye makes me feel ashamed and I didn’t even do nothin’.
“for whatever reason, hip-hop usually just doesn’t translate well live in concert. ”
Maybe because it was in a small dose, but when Common opened for Maxwell this past October, he had the crowd HYPED. And whoever was his DJ was the dopeness. I loved it.
Other people/places/things/ideas that you must only see once (some you should see less than once if you’re lucky):
1. Vanilla Sky.
2. the champ’s deez.
3. Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions (the latter of which, I still ain’t seen yet due to the effect of Reloaded…wtf was happening?!)
4. A National Geographic Special on ANY creepy crawler.
5. A keloid.
6. Oprah’s feet.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 11:59 am}
@Cheekie, “5. A keloid.”
I don’t know what a keloid is but fighting the urge to google it is VERY hard. *must think happy thoughts*
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:37 pm}
@IVR,
Don’t do it. I went to HS with a dude who had hanging keloids from both earlobes.
It was so hard to talk to him without focusing on the keloid swingage.
*i know I’m evil.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 5:14 pm}
@miss t-lee, “Don’t do it. I went to HS with a dude who had hanging keloids from both earlobes.
It was so hard to talk to him without focusing on the keloid swingage.”
WTF?!?!?!
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 5:17 pm}
@IVR,
Yep…he got them removed and they grew back.
*shudder*
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:25 pm}
@miss t-lee,
They….grew…back? Like…they’re alive or some sh*t?
*screams*
miss t-lee {November 20th, 2009 at 3:59 pm}
@Cheekie,
LOL!!!!! Its a scar tissue overgrowth, so if you get them removed the whole process sometimes starts all over.
Yick…lol
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:42 pm}
@IVR,
Don’t ESPECIALLY google the ones done by fraternity brothers. That ish is a HOT MESS.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 5:21 pm}
@Cheekie, “Don’t ESPECIALLY google the ones done by fraternity brothers. That ish is a HOT MESS.”
Yep, that makes it final . . . not googling that mess . . . *going to hulu to watch b!tch stewie*
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:22 pm}
@Cheekie,
“1. Vanilla Sky.”
You already know how I feel bout this movie…lmao
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:43 pm}
@miss t-lee,
Sholl do. I’m tellin’ you…it should be an official FML entry. “I saw Vanilla Sky. FML”. or “I’m aware of Vanilla Sky. FML”.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 6:55 pm}
@miss t-lee,
I am sooooo mad at myself I saw that movie in the theater!! And I had forgotten my student Id so I paid FULL price on my meager Student research assistant stipend. That isht still pisses me off.
By the same token, I need the 2 hours of my life back for watching The Fountain. I’m usually a high-falutin’ different movie enthusiast, but The Fountain was just DUMB!!!!
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Reecie {November 19th, 2009 at 7:48 pm}
@Sula, aww I have the Vanilla Sky DVD. I may be the only one? LMAO
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miss t-lee {November 20th, 2009 at 3:55 pm}
@Reecie,
No you’re not the only one…I own it. I bought it without seeing it first…FML. It was in the $3 bin @ Wal-Mart and I know I overpaid.
I’m still tryna get rid of that mo.
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:57 pm}
@Cheekie,
lol@ Oprah’s feet. Add Keri Hilson’s feet to that list. WTF? I mean why? How even?
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:18 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Oh sheet, Keri Hilson’s feet are floating around there to? HAHA. Must Google.
Seeing Oprah’s feet is probably the most bizarre thing ever. This lady has so much money, there is probably an Oprah printing press just making dollars especially for her and she can’t get no dayum pedicure from the Korean Shop from around the way?
And by now, it is past that point. We’re talking major surgery needs to be done by now. But she coulda had that looked at. I bet Dr. Oz be shaking his damn head when she wears sandals.
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Dee {November 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm}
@Cheekie, holy…wow…mine are no where near that bad, and I’m looking to get them straightened out.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:03 pm}
@Cheekie,
why did you see oprah’s feet?
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 1:13 pm}
@The Champ,
There’s pics out there…and trust, they are bad, really bad.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:15 pm}
@The Champ,
Along with everything, it is on the internets, silly wabbit.
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 2:35 pm}
@Cheekie, I don’t believe that those were Oprah’s feet. I’m pretty sure that pic was photoshopped.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
I sincerely hope you are right.
Humble_One {November 19th, 2009 at 2:29 pm}
@Cheekie,
Cosign on the Matrix sequels. The two movies after the first ruined what could have been a legendary trilogy.
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I’d have to add replays of folks getting injured in games . . . I saw it when it happened, no need to see a foot do that in slow motion.
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Ivy St. {November 19th, 2009 at 12:15 pm}
@IVR,
Yeah, but some of us were in the other room getting more dip when it happened. Replay is a must!
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 1:49 pm}
@Ivy St.,
lmao @ some of us were in the other room getting dip
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 3:15 pm}
@Ivy St.,
is “dip” your pg way of saying “d*ck”?
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The One & True GEM... of the Ocean {November 19th, 2009 at 5:01 pm}
@The Champ,
either way, replays are a must!!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 5:28 pm}
@Ivy St., “Yeah, but some of us were in the other room getting more dip when it happened. Replay is a must!”
I’m all for Instant Replay . . . but seeing body parts bend unnaturally on live television is not the business.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 12:24 pm}
@IVR,
I always think of Joe Theismann’s injury…like seriously, they shouldn’t show that ish ever again…lol
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm}
@miss t-lee, “I always think of Joe Theismann’s injury…like seriously, they shouldn’t show that ish ever again…lol”
I agree.
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Humble_One {November 19th, 2009 at 2:34 pm}
@miss t-lee,
I don’t know whats worse that or Napoleon McCallum’s injury.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:46 pm}
@Humble_One,
Oooooh. That one was nasty as well.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 12:47 pm}
@IVR,
YES! Cringeworthy personified.
Also, don’t, I tell ya, DON’T YouTube/Google the video of the man’s arm breaking during an arm wrestling match. Let’s just say he should’ve picked on someone his own size.
*cringe*
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 2:40 pm}
@Cheekie, Isn’t saying “DON’T YouTube/Google this video” just like saying, “I DARE YOU to YouTube this video”?
And this comment made me think of that old Sylvester Stallone movie Over the Top where he was a truck driver/professional arm wrestler. I think there was a scene in there where a dude’s arm broke.
I really kinda wanna google it now. Damn you.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:24 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
Yeah, I’m kinda sneaky that way. But, don’t say I didn’t warn ya. lol
Do NOT click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgKtiVrWf5Y
Gah…
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:55 pm}
@IVR,
Haha. Remember “Scarred” on MTV. I was wondering “who the hell wants to see this stuff?”. Then I started watching it…
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 1:12 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Yeah, Scarred on MTV is the worst. I remember hating MTV for making an entire tv show of cringeworthy moments you usually just see watching errant internet clips.
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V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:36 pm}
@Me fail english?,
For a brief second I thought yall were talking about Luke’s Scarred. Nevermind….
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 4:05 pm}
@V Renee,
LMAO! I used to always hear that ish on my head when I saw it on TV Guide.
Cap’n D comin! Cap’n D comin!
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:07 pm}
@Me fail english?, “Haha. Remember “Scarred” on MTV. I was wondering “who the hell wants to see this stuff?”. Then I started watching it…”
Nah, I can’t watch that mess . . .that kinda stuff sticks in my head and grosses me out randomly in the future. This and insects that are larger than they are supposed to be (u know them asian/south american roaches with fingers and muscles) tend to haunt my daymares. I remember my grandfather kept flashcards with animals (not sure why) and I still remember this cockroach they said was the size of a football . . . FUKK!
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:05 pm}
@IVR,
i agree. whenever they show a replay of that sh*t, i cover my eyes and scream.
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Requiem for a Dream. That is one disturbing movie. Period.
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Soula Powa {November 19th, 2009 at 12:30 pm}
@luvtheshoes,
I forgot about that. Damn. Makes never want to touch a drug.
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CPT Callamity {November 19th, 2009 at 12:56 pm}
@Soula Powa,
I love that movie for the artistic approach to addiction the director took…however I always warn people I show it to that they’ll need to get a Care Bear hug after watching.
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luvtheshoes {November 19th, 2009 at 1:48 pm}
@CPT Callamity,
Agreed. I really do love the direction of the movie and the acting is superb but sheesh, I really had to go frolick in the sunlight after watching that movie.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 12:50 pm}
@luvtheshoes,
Hell yeah. That may be one of the most depressing movies i’ve seen. And I sat through “Salo”
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1) Even though I’ve seen it a MILLION times, I had to click on the Evil Eye Baby link. Never gets old.
2) Yesterday my friend gave birth at home and it was my second time being present for a childbirth. LOVE IT! But when I have kids, I might ask my husband to stay by my head simply b/c I know how grossed out you guys get and I don’t want it to negatively impact my sex life.
3) I have NEVER seen 2 girls 1 cup. Just thinking about what I’ve HEARD about it makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
4) I wish I’d never seen the movie Hostel. I’m not big on horror movies anyways, but my ex was. I went to see that movie and now I’ll never be the same person that I was before seeing it. Thanks.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:09 pm}
@Yonnie3k,
4) I wish I’d never seen the movie Hostel. I’m not big on horror movies anyways, but my ex was. I went to see that movie and now I’ll never be the same person that I was before seeing it. Thanks.
hostel 2 was even worse (imo)
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just saw the Sammy Sosa pics.Damn is all I can say. He was a handsome cat, now he looks like Al Capone. One less brownskin representative.
The Sexy Spec videos are at the top of my list.
“3. childbirth
a process that cements the idea that pessimistic men aren’t built for relationships. put it this way: only a true optimist would willingly continue to eat p*ssy after witnessing that.”
I will never watch childbirth, and I can’t be pressured to do it. I would probably never want to hit/eat/touch a snake cake that I watched a baby come out of.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 1:15 pm}
@Legendary Dash,
just saw the Sammy Sosa pics.Damn is all I can say. He was a handsome cat, now he looks like Al Capone
LOL
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why did childbirth make d list
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:14 pm}
@Corve DaCosta,
welcome and sh*t.
and, to answer your question: because
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The movies “Dying Young” (the title says it all), “Cable Guy”, “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas” & “Bloodrayne”, need no further viewing.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 1:25 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
For some strange reason I liked “Cable Guy”.
I think it was because my brother and I used to shout out quotes at the most inappropriate times though.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 1:37 pm}
@miss t-lee,
I had a terrible first date with a guy who insisted on seeing that movie. *cringing* The experience wasn’t cool.
(I’m a lady, if my screen name is ambiguous)
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:28 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
Yeah…I can understand how seeing that on a date would go really badly.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:18 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
welcome and sh*t (i think)
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 5:26 pm}
@The Champ,
Thank you!
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The movies “Dead Ringers” and “Blue Velvet” must also never be viewed….my momma dragged me to those back in the day. She loved “thrillers” and that was not what we thought it was gonna be.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:20 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
dead ringers was creepy as hell
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Anything episode of any show that anything to do with Tiffany “New York” Pollard…hot a$# mess
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 1:59 pm}
@lovin’ me,
Am I the only person that gets embarrassed for people and turns the channel for a quick sec? Yeah, I might watch the hot mess, turn the channel, then turn back. I know….crazy.
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lovin' me {November 19th, 2009 at 2:02 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
I do the same thing as far as feeling embarassed, but I don’t change the channel though…..lol
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:11 pm}
@legitimate_soul, “Am I the only person that gets embarrassed for people and turns the channel for a quick sec? ”
I tend to turn to ESPN to avoid seeing someone make an @ss out of themselves .. . .then I turn back when they straightened it out. Just out of courtesy LoL
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lovin' me {November 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm}
@lovin’ me, I meant “Any episode”
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I, legitimate_soul, a grown azz woman and hip hop head disagree with the assumption that only Busta and the Roots can put on a good show. Plenty hip hop acts can do a live azz show. Yet I must agree that Nas may not be one of them, lol! I saw Nas do a performance on TV and thought to myself “Aww, heyall naw!”
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 2:05 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
Agreed. I even like going to live DJ Battles. Going to one in December matter of fact
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 2:15 pm}
@Me fail english?,
That’s cool you get to see one in person. I have ‘Netflix’d’ DVD’s on DJ documentaries, battles, b-boy championships, etc. etc. I’m a hip hop nerd.
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Humble_One {November 19th, 2009 at 2:20 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Beat battles are good too.
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Humble_One {November 19th, 2009 at 2:17 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
When I saw Nas I didn’t think he was that bad. At the same time he wasn’t as good as everyone else I’ve seen live. So far I think Wu-tang is the best. I heard the Roots were also good. At one time the use to be here a lot. It seems they were here every month.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 2:38 pm}
@Humble_One,
Roots are prolly busy on the Jimmy Kimmel Show now, lol! Ghostface was GREAT when I saw him. The Roots are GREAT like everyone commented and when the Fugees were together they were GREAT. See some of the “old skool” rappers. They put on an excellent show. Big Daddy Kane killed it! Kane had freestyle, energy, breath control, all of it! Some cats got stage presence and can just attack when on stage making for a great show.
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2 girls 1 cup – one time was all I needed, although watching other people’s reaction to it on Youtube can brighten up anyone’s day.
Midget pron – Not as appealing as I thought it was going to be.
Spider-man 3 – as you can see by my screen name, I love comic books and that movie was disappointing. The whole Venom thing could have been done a whole lot better.
Superman 4 – Love Superman. Love Richard Pryor. They have not business being in the same vicinity of each other.
My dog with Parvo – I really hated seeing my bulldog sick like that. As much as he is a monster, I love him and would not wish that on my worst enemy’s dog.
That horrible Cowboys v. Packers game on Sunday – I mean, really Jason Garrett, everyone knows you have to run the ball as it gets colder and you have THREE great running backs. Use them.
Monster’s Ball – Halle and Billy Bob Thornton having monkey relations was really awkward, yet if a woman of her caliber of beauty said to me “Make me feel good”, it would be hard to say no.
That episode of Different Strokes where Arnold and Dudley get molested – Almost scarred me for life and made me want to never step foot in a bike shop. I’ll get my sh!t from Wal-Mart! It does make me cheer for the cops on “To Catch a Predator”.
The Street Fighter movie – Hurt my heart, but R.I.P. to Raul Julia, one of my favorite actors.
The video to the Hammer song that was on the “Street Fighter” soundtrack – Thank the Lord that he came into both of their lives around because they both took an L for that one.
Bowfinger – I miss stand up Eddie.
I Want to Work For Diddy – Really, there are better people to try to work for to advance yourself. A forty year old with no musical talent that started a record label would not be the best judge of what’s hot.
The episode of the Shield when D.A. Aceveda was orally raped at gunpoint while having it filmed on a camera phone – On my list of things I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Any Real Housewives series – What’s the possibility of everyone of those women where/are being cheated on during the filming of those episodes? Just a question.
That’s it for me. Champ, I had a good time in Pittsburgh. It’s a beautiful city and a lot more upbeat than I thought. You were right about Primanti Brothers. I didn’t think anyone liked coleslaw that much. The Jerome Bettis Grille was good and I got a good spot with a great view of Heinz Field.
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Gem...from Houston {November 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm}
@ComicBookGuy, I was RUINED after that scene in The Shield.
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 3:43 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
That proved to me that FX has the most extreme but good shows outside of HBO and Showtime, but it also scared the crap out of me.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 3:57 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
When I worked for the Axis of Evil (Fox/Newscorp) we used to watch The Shield, Nip/Tuck and Damages dvd’s all the time at our desks. Never would’ve seen those otherwise but that was some good ass tv.
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 4:15 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Axis of Evil. Hilarious.
I don’t get Fox. You have shows like Family Guy, the Simpsons, American Dad, The Shield and Nip/Tick, yet you have the most conservative news channel on TV and that has been turned up a notch since getting a black president. Odd.
CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 5:02 pm}
@ComicBookGuy
“Edgy” fantasy and conservative “news” sells. Rupert Murdoch is a billionaire.
…And yeah, FauxNews has turned up the hate-o-meter a nudge in the last 18 months. I saw a daily show piece, during which Sean Hannity blamed the President for the drought in Central California. And was completely SERIOUS! And even had a crowd of people angry at the government over it.
kamakula {November 19th, 2009 at 5:21 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
You were ruined? David then developed a fetish for role playing nonconsentual intercourse. The man was wacking it to video of some girl getting raped.
I say he should have taken out that kid when he had the chance.
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 5:38 pm}
@kamakula,
Oh yeah, David was REALLY messed up after that incident.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:22 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
That’s it for me. Champ, I had a good time in Pittsburgh. It’s a beautiful city and a lot more upbeat than I thought. You were right about Primanti Brothers. I didn’t think anyone liked coleslaw that much. The Jerome Bettis Grille was good and I got a good spot with a great view of Heinz Field.
glad you had a good time and sh*t.
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Caballeroso {November 19th, 2009 at 4:52 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
Cosign on Monster’s Ball…especially having watched it with my mom.
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 5:15 pm}
@Caballeroso,
Damn, dude.
*sheds tear of awkwardness for Caballeroso*
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 7:10 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
I have to echo the “Dude! what were you thinking” sentiment!
That must have been awkward.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
“Monster’s Ball – Halle and Billy Bob Thornton having monkey relations was really awkward, yet if a woman of her caliber of beauty said to me “Make me feel good”, it would be hard to say no.”
Yeah, Billy Bob probably made her feel good, but that made me feel awkward.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 5:40 pm}
@Cheekie,
Has anyone seen “True Life: I cant leave my boyfriend”. I was seriously disturbed by this old, out of shape man with a nappy Santa beard effing this young ingenue of a woman. Plus he was twice her age. AND he had the nerve to keep rocking tophats! That’s what pissed me off the most! Disturbing. I hope I never catch that episode again.
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 5:54 pm}
@Me fail english?,
I saw some of that the other day, only the part with the light skin girl moving back to Vegas. I hate seeing cute girls with idiot boyfriends. The other scenario would probably have made me mad.
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Am I the only one that thinks Sammy Sosa looks like that character from the superman show in godfather II?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68CewasVjMg
he appears at about :16 to :17
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:24 pm}
@Humble_One,
lol he does. btw, did you know johnny ola is played by the same actor who plays “junior” on the sopranos?
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:26 pm}
@The Champ,
Of course…lol
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I have 2 from a friend. She said she knew it was time to move on from NY when one day she opened her window and stretched and smiled at the beautiful day, then saw a homeless man taking a dump across the street. Another day in Union Park, she was enjoying another beautiful day, then saw a squirrel running for it’s life from a giant rat.
I never need to see/hear Clyde Drexler be a commenter for NBA games again. It’s just terrible.
Arachnaphobia
Monsters Inside Me (not a pron, that show on Discovery?)
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 3:05 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
“Another day in Union Park, she was enjoying another beautiful day, then saw a squirrel running for it’s life from a giant rat.”
She needs to toughen up. They were probably in love.
“then saw a homeless man taking a dump across the street. ”
This reminds me of the phone recording my friend shot of two homeless people doing it on the A train, at like 8pm (still pretty much rush hour in NYC). She says the smell was awful but for the life of me, I can’t explain how they didnt clear the car. I mean there are still people visibly in frame, arms length from the impending sewage juice mudslide.
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Gem...from Houston {November 19th, 2009 at 3:10 pm}
@Me fail english?,
“She needs to toughen up. They were probably in love.” *cries*
The homeless people sexing on the A train…I bet that was awkward for whoever witnessed the end of it. Like, did they just sit back up in the seats calmly with their hands clasped until the next stop?
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 3:28 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
Better yet, whose idea was it to get on the train in the first place? Where the hell were they going? It’s not like they had some place to be. Now I need to text my friend and get the rest of the story.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:16 pm}
@Me fail english?, “Where the hell were they going? It’s not like they had some place to be.”
LMAO! HORRIBLE!
V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:28 pm}
@Me fail english?,
This reminds me of the phone recording my friend shot of two homeless people doing it on the A train, at like 8pm .
SAY WHAT?!?!?! Were they discrete about it? I may need this whole scene set up. Were they standing up? Her sitting on his lap? I need details!! LOL
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 3:34 pm}
@V Renee,
LMAO! Girl you are sick!
…but to answer your question she was bent over and he was hittin it doggystyle. They still had their clothes on but you could see the lady’s bare ass. And hell naw they wasnt discreet on an NYC train in rush hour. They was making sounds and all that. Hahahaha.
Homeless pron makes my soul cry
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:49 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Reason #1.8 million that I’m not moving to the NYC.
V Renee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:23 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Ewwwwwww…..but does your friend still have the video? I’m ummmm errrrrr doing a dissertation on the homeless people in NYC and how while they may be homeless, they still do real ninja sh*t. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Lol
Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:28 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Was the dude chanting, “I have no legs” ala the homeless dude on the skateboard in “Kids” while doing her? Because that? Would be awesome.
Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 5:02 pm}
@V Renee,
FREAK! (I bet she does still have it too..yall would get along great. hahaha)
@Cheekie,
*dead*
CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 5:12 pm}
@Me fail english?,
… But seriously, can I get a copy of that? I need this video. I crave it! Call me sick, call me twisted… but I am just too… I have to see this!
IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 3:32 pm}
@Me fail english?, “She says the smell was awful but for the life of me, I can’t explain how they didnt clear the car. ”
That’s that whole train wreck phenomenon . . . horrible thing. . . cant stop watching.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 3:39 pm}
@IVR,
See I can understand watching the trainwreck…but smelling the trainwreck? Ugh. People are gross. And I dont mean the homeless freakshow.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:36 pm}
@Gem…from Houston,
“Arachnaphobia”
Oooh, that’s a good one. Had me checking my houseshoes forever.
Oh, and when they kill the mama spider by burning it. That scream haunts me to this day.
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The film, “Eyes Wide Shut”. If you kinda know the premise, it’s funny when people parody it, but repeat viewing is really unnecessary. Like really.
The roach scene in “Creepshow”.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 3:39 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
“The roach scene in “Creepshow”
Oh snap!!!!!!! I haven’t seen that ish in years and it still gives me the heebies just thinking about it.
Yick!!!!
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ComicBookGuy {November 19th, 2009 at 3:50 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
I hear ya on Eyes Wide Shut. There was so much hype about when it came out and when I finally saw it, I was like Ok, that was weird.
That roach scene scared me was a kid.
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legitimate_soul {November 19th, 2009 at 3:59 pm}
@ComicBookGuy,
The roach scene scared me as a kid too! To make matters worse, I saw it at a Drive-In! You hella vulnerable as a kid watching stuff like that in your jammies. It ain’t right.
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Late Addition: Our training instructor had us watch an STD video in bootcamp right before lunch . . . Until that time I had never seen an appendage that looked like it had a mane (not hair). I could do without that one again.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:26 pm}
@IVR,
thanks for ruining my lunch, dinner, and upcoming saturday brunch
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 4:31 pm}
@The Champ,
Having an “upcoming saturday brunch” is 45.6% gay.
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miss t-lee {November 19th, 2009 at 4:37 pm}
@Cheekie,
Dayum you beat me!!!!
I was gonna say 29% ghey…lol
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:08 pm}
@miss t-lee,
LOL.
I love how the percentage could be just about anything.
IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:20 pm}
@The Champ, “thanks for ruining my lunch, dinner, and upcoming saturday brunch”
Not a problem homie!
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That is just disgusting. Lol.
I’ve seen it once at an chex shop in Madrid, I didn’t think I’d have to ever see it again.
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Yeah I once saw a bum/crackhead taking a sh*t on street in between two parked cars once.. So gross!! That’s when you know ur in NY lol. The funniest part is how I’m just walking down the street minding my biz and the first thing I see before I actually realized what foulness was before my eyes is this black crusty ashy ass sticking out between two cars. I was confused at first like WTF?? And then I looked down and saw the steaming pile of poo and I was just DEAD!!!
Another time I was riding the train and I saw this guy who must have had some sort of skin condition where his whole body was covered in boils. I’m talking boils on top of boils where u could barely even see his face. Dead ass!!! It was the grossest weirdest shit I ever seen.When I first seen dude getting on the train, I thought dis motherfugger had on a Halloween costume.. And then I realized um no that’s just how his face looks.. Wow. Unfortunate.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:25 pm}
@BKSweetheart, “Yeah I once saw a bum/crackhead taking a sh*t on street in between two parked cars once.. So gross!! That’s when you know ur in NY lol. The funniest part is how I’m just walking down the street minding my biz and the first thing I see before I actually realized what foulness was before my eyes is this black crusty ashy ass sticking out between two cars. I was confused at first like WTF?? And then I looked down and saw the steaming pile of poo and I was just DEAD!!!”
This is funny to me . . . sounds like a dave chappelle skit . . .was he smoking a cigarette? I guess only a New Yorker could find humor in homelessness. Now that KFC with all the rats in it . . . that was just uncalled for.
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Kinda slow at the moment so I’ma keep posting as they come to me….
Madonna spewing that self-serving wannabe, but not really, Michael Jackson tribute speech during the VMA’s. She needs a refreshing glass of STFU with a shot of bish saddown…and actually, bottles of it on reserve.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:28 pm}
@legitimate_soul,
madonna has enough pretentiousness and self-importance to choke a mule
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Yeah I once saw a bum/crackhead taking a sh*t on street in between two parked cars once.. So gross!! That’s when you know ur in NY lol. The funniest part is how I’m just walking down the street minding my biz and the first thing I see before I actually realized what foulness was before my eyes is this black crusty ashy ass sticking out between two cars. I was confused at first like WTF?? And then I looked down and saw the steaming pile of poo and I was just DEAD!!!
Another time I was riding the train and I saw this guy who must have had some sort of skin condition where his whole body was covered in boils. I’m talking boils on top of boils where u could barely even see his face. Dead ass!!! It was the grossest weirdest shiggity I ever seen.When I first seen dude getting on the train, I thought dis motherfugger had on a Halloween costume.. And then I realized um no that’s just how his face looks.. Wow. Unfortunate.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm}
@BKSweetheart, “Another time I was riding the train and I saw this guy who must have had some sort of skin condition where his whole body was covered in boils. I’m talking boils on top of boils where u could barely even see his face. Dead ass!!!”
This dude must have followed me to DC because I swear I saw the same thing on the red line. Dude walked in the train with what seemed to be a hospital bracelet on. I was sitting there HOPING this dude wasn’t gonna come sit next to me. Working it through in my head that Silver Spring wasn’t THAT far to walk. I feel bad for him but I can’t have that around my area.
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BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 4:28 pm}
@IVR, Yo I think that might be the same guy!! I think I remember this guy having a hospital bracelet as well. Weird! Yeah i feel bad for dude but that sh*t is just too jarring to look at.. I hate to be one of those people that looks down on people with disabilities or conditions but when you seem some outrageous sh*t like that you can’t help but to kinda of recoil in fear, lol.
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IVR {November 19th, 2009 at 6:28 pm}
@BKSweetheart, “I hate to be one of those people that looks down on people with disabilities or conditions but when you seem some outrageous sh*t like that you can’t help but to kinda of recoil in fear, lol.”
Yeah, thats some old testament sickness right there. Lepers running around all crazy.
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2 Girls 1 Cup is the first thing I thought of! Glad to see it made other’s list too.
Hands down, the most disturbing ish I’ve ever seen.
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The Champ {November 19th, 2009 at 4:29 pm}
@Babs,
welcome and sh*t
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Now you all brought my lurking behind out to comment. While I appreciate the oh so timeless classics of Reh Dogg, and T Baby’s It’s so Cold in the D. Let’s not forget Riskay’s “Smell Yo D*ck”
Other things I never have to see:
My parents having sex. Totally debunked my clinging hopes that the stork actually did drop me off. And after my father telling me I just didn’t know how to appreciate art, yeah I’m soooo done.
Old folks porn. Yeah something about seeing F*cking at 60 just makes me want to tell AARP to never add me to their mailing list.
There’s also an old school dumb arse movie called Black Devil Doll from Hell. It’s actually a pretty decent comedy until the damn doll rapes the chick. Neva again.
Most black stage plays. Seriously, if I have to subject myself to another insipid, poorly titled show (Aw Lawd, Mama Done Burned the Chicken or Homie Lova Friendz or some other bs) complete with a thrown in has been like Michael from Good Times I’m just gonna blow up the damn building.
Torque. Enough said.
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I read IT’S SO COLD IN THE D up stream somewhere, and I was gonna put that, but, now the song is stuck in my head and I want to see the video again.
I will, however, say:
Divorced Parents making whoopee when they weren’t supposed to be…
… actually, thinking about that stops me from posting anything else. must… cleanse… soul…
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 4:52 pm}
@CleverScreenName,
how come I didn’t notice the post right on top of mine, with the exact same responses?
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Hershey's Kiss {November 19th, 2009 at 5:51 pm}
@CleverScreenName, So glad I’m not the only one to witness the sexual offenses of the parental units. Misery cannot stand solitary confinement.
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a few things that need not be seen again…
1. The Hills Have Eyes…
2. I Am Legend
3. 2g1c (or any randomly nasty vid)
that’s all i can think of now…
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 5:03 pm}
@Kaye,
The Hills Have Eyes was just sick. And why was all that ish happening so soon in the movie? lol
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 5:10 pm}
@Cheekie, lol idk…the movie just sucked (but i was happy i didn’t pay for it! i definitely woulda been mad about it)
and they had the nerve to come out with a 2nd one…smh
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I can stand to never again see…
…The Nutcracker. I ain’t THAT damned cultured!
…The movie Crash. No, not that one, not the one with Ludacris, Jada, Tony Danza, and Terrence Howard, the other one.
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 5:09 pm}
@Caballeroso, i soooo co-sign on the Nutcracker one….
my mom took me (apparently to just experience it) i told her NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!
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CleverScreenName {November 19th, 2009 at 5:25 pm}
@Kaye,
Damn, Kaye got all holocaust on the nutcracker.
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Kaye {November 19th, 2009 at 9:48 pm}
@CleverScreenName, lol
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BKSweetheart {November 19th, 2009 at 5:19 pm}
@Caballeroso, YES!!!! I saw that on accident one night I fell asleep at like 7 in the evening and woke up and 4 in the morning.. you know when all the weird sh*t is on TV.. with what’s his face dude from Boston Legal.. that sh*t was mad depraved and sh*t. Who gets in a car accident on purpose and then just starts f*cking????
Same with that movie “Bully” – very sick and twisted. Same director as the movie Kids. Go figure.
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Caballeroso {November 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm}
@Caballeroso, oops, sorry Thandie Newton, not Jada. I get ‘em twisted.
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Sula {November 19th, 2009 at 7:46 pm}
@Caballeroso,
…The Nutcracker. I ain’t THAT damned cultured!
Don’t tell me it’s the “Sunday-calling, expensive-dinner having, no inside of apartment seeing” girl that made you go?
If so, that sucks monkey balls.
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I weep for Sammy Sosa’s lack of self-esteem…..dayum….Just seeing that pic as the visual for today’s entry is so sad for so many reasons.
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Oh another one I just (unfortunately) remembered:
ANY head decapitation of a prisoner by the Taliban. There was one particular one floating around the internet and it is LONG AS HELL. Or it seems that way because of the terrible suspense. They’re praying and whatnot and reading some declaration, hen out of nowhere, someone starts screaming and then some dude is sawing someone’s head off. And then holds the head in front of the camera like an effing trophy. ACK! That truly haunted me for nights.
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Me fail english? {November 19th, 2009 at 5:54 pm}
@Cheekie,
I heard about it and refused to watch. I hear they didnt even chop it in a single motion. They were literally sawing. The executioners are on my very short list of people I wish I could witness burning in hell.
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Cheekie {November 19th, 2009 at 6:24 pm}
@Me fail english?,
Yes, they were definitely sawing. Like, it took a few agonizing minutes to finish. My bro-in-law showed it to me and I’ve regretted it since.
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Yonnie3k {November 19th, 2009 at 10:57 pm}
Along these same lines, I could never bring myself to watch the full YouTube video of Oscar Grant being shot by the BART Police as he lay face down on the pavement…in handcuffs.
Eff Tha Police
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booty call,tip drill although i love me some nelly,but that was just nasty oh and paranormal activity that ish is scary.
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